#sterek angst

[hedwig221b]

Do you have any recs for angsty sterek fics? The angstier the better!

and anon asked:

Hii. Do you have any angst fics that you could recommend? I mean like some heartbreaking , tear jerking, soul crushing angst. Of course with a happy ending if you know of any?

I have an angst fic recs here, but let's make a part two!

It's All I Can Do by Vanyela

This is what happened the night the Kanima struck at the pool. This is why Stiles really held Derek up and this is what happened when Scott got there two minutes later than a good friend should have. Based off the prompt: "Stiles shoves Derek to the top of the pool even as he’s drowning because Derek is worth so much more than Stiles could ever be."

Optional by Cheshyr

Stiles is acutely aware of the fact that no one really chooses him. They just get stuck with him.

Holy Injuries, Batman! by LadyDrace

Stiles gets hurt. Badly. Getting better turns out to be more of a process than anyone expected, and there are a few surprises along the way.

Empty by modestfuckup

Stiles stops listening to the words the doctor is saying, a stream of tears rolling down his face. His training taught him he has to remain calm. He uses a tissue to blot at the tears as his mind already turns to what is going to happen now. The doctor is talking about his options, and treatments he could undergo, but Stiles knows none of that will work. He’s infertile. With no way to supply his alpha with an heir, he is practically useless. Or the one where Stiles is an infertile omega, and society dictates that if an omega is unable to carry on the alpha's lineage, an alpha is allowed to take another omega. Stiles hides his condition from Derek while he copes and starts the process of finding a new omega for him.

The Mating Privilege by Kikileduc

Stiles and Derek have been happily mated. The pack is doing well, but in hopes of creating alliances for it to do better, Derek accepts a neighboring pack's request to allow two wolves to join the Hale-McCall pack for a full moon cycle. They hope to form a blood-tie, or at least a long term friendship between the two packs. The issue is Kohona, the tribal leader's daughter, has her eyes set on an unavailable alpha wolf. This could have drastic consequences for their young emissary, however…

Abiding By Pack Law by neil4god

Traditionally the Alpha mate must meet certain requirements, however there are always certain exceptions. For every rule there is someone who has broken it, well almost every rule. There is one rule that no-one has ever broken. The alpha's pack must approve the match, if they don't, well a new mate is required. Unfortunately Stiles know he doesn't fit the requirements, the pack hate him, Derek just hasn't realised it yet.

I Shouldn't Love you Anymore by wulfarchival (wyrmwolf)

After Stiles divorces Derek under mysterious reasons, Derek moves out into the middle of nowhere loosing himself to the wolf after the ache in his chest becomes too much. But after weeks of being lost to an animal someone he thought he'd never see again returns in his life. This time to stay forever.

All Derek Ever Wanted by Dexterous_Sinistrous

Stiles knew Derek always wanted a big family. And, for the longest time, he thought he'd be the one to give it to him. Life, devastatingly, has other plans. Prompt: "I've been thinking about omega stiles n alpha derek. They're trying to hav a baby. But one day stiles go to the doc, n he imply that stiles can't get pregnant. Stiles keep it secret and try to make derek divorce him."

This Quiet Torment

Derek has had a crush on Stiles, a young omega who goes to his school since he first laid eyes on him. He has watched him continually come to school with bruises and flesh wounds delivered by his abusive father and all he’s ever wanted to do was help but Stiles never let him get close enough. Until, one night, Stiles ends up at Derek’s house, with more than a flesh wound and Derek will do everything in his power to protect him.

Stay with me by Beautiful_noise

Derek gets a glimpse of the future in which Stiles has two biological daughters and that's how he knows he and Stiles are going to break up.

Leave It All Behind by asarcasticwitch

A coil of panic tightens in his chest as, after just three short rings, Derek’s voice—raspy as if barely awake—echoes through the speaker. “Do you know what time it is?” he grumbles, and at any other time, Stiles would’ve made a joke or retorted with something so sarcastic it would’ve undoubtedly earned him a huff in return. But right now, he can’t think of anything to say.

This Can of Worms by LadyDrace

Derek knows Stiles has been crying, and he's the alpha, dammit, he's supposed to be able to help his pack members. But what is he supposed to do when Stiles won't let him?

all stories deserve an end by bleep0bleep

No one hardly ever comes up to this area of the forest, especially with the rumors of the “mad wizard.” Stiles encourages the rumor, because it means people leave him alone. It’s a good, solitary existence as long as Stiles pretends the aching loneliness in his heart isn’t there.

I Just Need You by beckybrit

“Derek?” He’s surprised at how steady his voice is, considering he’s absolutely terrified. It’s been a long time since he’s been afraid of Derek, but the eyes looking back at him now are full of hate and the promise of death. Stiles shudders but steadfastly refuses to look away. “Derek, I know it doesn’t look like it, but it’s me… Stiles.”

[masterlist link]

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

Imagine Derek going to visit his family’s graves and he sees Stiles laying flowers on them. He approaches quietly, trying not to startle Stiles and says he's always wondered who put the flowers there because he wanted to thank them. He admits he hasn’t been able to bring himself to lay flowers on their graves since they were buried because he feels like he’s back at their funeral(s) and the pain is too much.

[stereklyrics]

"So, I know that you did bad

But, if one more person says it, I might go mad

Yeah, I know it didn't last

And what was cheap to you, to me, was all I had

The issue is, I know all of this and I

I still want you back"

When Derek left, Stiles was heartbroken 'cause he thought he and Derek were finally going somewhere. They had just spend a whole 2 weeks kissing in every opportunity they had, for God's sake! Stiles feels like this was nothing for Derek, while he put everything he had in it. The rest of the pack keeps saying that Stiles should just let it go, and Stiles knows he should but that doesn't mean he doesn't want Derek back, that he doesn't want to just...Be with Derek again.

"You left like an assassin, maybe that's for the best

'Cause if you told me what would happen, I think I would've begged

So you gotta be a coward and I salvage a little self-respect"

Stiles thinks it's somehow good that Derek left without telling anyone, 'cause he knows for sure he would've begged Derek to stay, but sure, if Derek wanted to be a coward and run, well, at least he salvaged that little of self-respect...But he still wants Derek back, he's gotta be honest with himself about that.

[shieldofiron]

@thatgirlwithasquid you get me

Stiles: That's really a good enough reason to not be together?

[sticknpokelightningbolt]

A little preview of a soft, getting together Sterek fic I'm writing:

--

Scott laughs. “That’s not what I’m saying, dude. It’s just an observation. You have lots of friends and any of them would be down to fill your time while you pine for me. But, for like the last month, you never call Lydia or Isaac or Danny or anyone else, it’s always Derek.”

“And? What’s your point, Scotty? You worried my Alpha loyalties are tilting in his favor?” Stiles teases. It’s really not an issue they have. Scott’s got his betas and Derek’s got his, and Stiles happily plays for both teams.

“No.” Scott throws a pretzel at him from his little bowl of study snacks. “Actually, I was suggesting that maybe you’re developing other loyalties to Derek.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re attracted to him, right?”

“Yeah.” Stiles shrugs. This isn’t news to anyone. He’s been attracted to Derek since he first saw him. What of it?

“And you like spending time with him.”

“Yes, that’s why you and I are having this inane conversation.”

“And you guys tend to hang out one-on-one.”

“Not always.”

“Lately?”

“Okay, most of the time, lately.”

Scott just raises his eyebrows at Stiles. “Dude,” he says, when Stiles just stands there, looking back at him. “You like him!”

Stiles frowns. “I know.”

“No, like, you’re into him. You have feelings for him.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes, I know! Why would you think I don’t know that? They’re my feelings.”

“How long have you known?”

“How long have you known?”

--

Coming soon to Ao3!

[homemadesterekpie]

in a just world, the nogitsune would have taunted Derek into fucking him because it knew Stiles was in love with Derek deep down and how it would destroy him to learn that Derek knowingly fucked the demon possessing him but not actually him.

like don’t tell me this little shit wouldn’t do exactly that to Stiles

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

I am looking for a fic that I read a while back ago..I just remember how it started and it appears I lost it!

I believe the first chapter started with Stiles trying to fall asleep in his own room and bed but just could not do it so he left in the middle of the night and headed to Derek’s loft?

Did I dream it??

Apparently you didn't dream it, @elizasobsession! @til-change-my-luck says it's possibly this one.

Start Over Tonight by GotTheSilver

(1/1 I 5,520 I Mature I Sterek)

He hasn’t been sleeping. Ever since they did the ritual, he hasn’t had one full night of sleep and when it’s really bad, he finds himself parked outside Derek’s abandoned loft.

AND

@lone-chicken suggested this one.

Awake by Little Spoon (JaydenNara)

(1/1 I 1,193 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles is home from New York for the winter holidays, and he can't fall asleep alone. Maybe he's been a little spoiled.

[jade-bright]

This kinda just came to me, it could go with the fic I wrote:

Stiles: Okay, dude-

Derek, looking his usual angry self: Don't call me dude

Stiles, angry now too: Well, I can't exactly call you "babe"!!!

[gold-bear]

Does anyone one else find it absolutely ridiculous that in Teen Wolf they had a wholeeee plot about how Stile might have the DEADLY disease that his mother died from and showed a very emotional moment between Stiles and Scott about how Scott would turn him if he had it only for there to be nothing about it in fandom???? Like no what-if fics??? Barely any edits?? At all?? Like I know that everyone loves Void Stiles, so do I!!, but guys this is such a waste of such good angst material!!

Like bro a fic about Scott struggling between the choice of knowing that he either watch’s his brother waste away in front of his own eyes or the 50/50 chance stiles dies from the bite, everyone that cares for Stiles weighing in their opinion, the guilt, the pain and the slight chance of comfort. From anyone’s POV you’ve got a story, Lydia, Derek, Liam, His Own Father who now watch his son go through the same thing that he watched his wife dies from!!

No… just me 😭😭😭

[hedwig221b]

Hey I’m in the mood for heavy angst. Do you have any were Stiles has an E.D or self harms? Ik it’s dark and totally get it if it’s too far but what can I say? I have a hankering, thanks!🩷

Please, read TWs and tags carefully before proceeding, everyone!

Make Me Skin & Bones (Where The Hell Have You Been) by Kandakicksass

Stiles takes the darkness from the Nemeton a lot harder than Scott and Allison do. Derek comes back after he goes catatonic.

Bleeding Love (In Depth) by BisexualInDisguise

"The first time I kissed you, you became the most important thing in my life. I would do absolutely anything for you and I never want you to doubt that. I would burn the world down for you without hesitation or guilt. So, you call me, anytime, all the time, no matter what. You hear me?” A tear dropped onto his cheek, Stiles’ chest heaving against his own as he struggled not to cry. “I hear you, sourwolf,” Stiles whispered

bones by els31

Stiles developed an eating disorder from his mother when she was going through the stages of Frontotemporal Dementia. After she died, Stiles didn't even realise he was carrying on the bad habit. Years fly by, and Stiles is still doing it, only now, he doesn't even realise that not eating is wrong.

Getting by by Wonkyun

The four times Stiles ignored the little things and the one time he couldn't. "Hiding in my baggy jeans, no one knows my secret." 4+1 fic (kinda)

Spiral Out / Try and Float by UnhingedCosmos

"Didn’t mean to call you.” “—what?” “Hit your number by accident, after Scott hung up.” “Scott did what.” A growl echoed over the phone, “Nevermind that, listen to me Stiles, please—“ Stiles’ eyes trail over his hand loosely clamping the bloody towel over his forearm before flicking over to the top of his phone. 1%

Void by Sivan325, SivanShemesh (Sivan325)

“Get out, Stiles, you are not welcome in my pack anymore, I can’t stand to look at you and see a murderer in front of me, get out.” Scott told him, his eyes flashed red and the rest of the pack didn’t even stand up for him.

In The Hours Before Dawn, There Is A Silence. by TowerGirl

The morning that Stiles leaves no-one notices him go. After two years of werewolves, hunters, and kanimas - Stiles has been pushed to his breaking point. He's getting out of Beacon Hills and he's never looking back. But when you're haunted by your past, can you really leave your ghosts behind? An incredibly beautiful elegy of horror, hurt, hope, and healing. - VtotheFun

Getting Better by TheBadassIsIn

The season 4 rewrite absolutely no one asked for where Stiles actually deals with his trauma from the nogitsune instead of being a-ok with it all and added Sterek.

Silence by AchillesGh0st

Silence, always silence. No matter how many times he calls, whenever the pack are together all he receives is silence. His grades have dropped. The nightmares are back. And his friends? Well, maybe he doesn't have any anymore.

How Can You Say You Love Me? by Blue_Equinox_2

After Stile's mother died Stiles turned to a less than healthy coping strategy. Cutting and restricting food has been his way of coping for several years and sees no end to it in sight. Enter Derek Hale. After seeing the mysterious and brooding Derek, Stiles becomes love struck but the voices in his head tell him that Derek will never return his affections. When Stiles falls prey to his old habits, something is different this time, he's not sure that he wants to ever stop. Cue Derek to save Stiles from himself. or… The one where Stiles has an eating disorder and serious self-harm complex. Things get really bad but he learns that the resident sourwolf might be the one to save him, if he lets himself be loved.

[masterlist link]

[celestialvoid-fanfiction]

I came up with an AU a long time ago but never shared it because it is nothing but angst. Consider yourself warned.

Imagine an AU where Stiles volunteers in the kids ward of the hospital. He plays games and cheers up the kids.

One day, Derek comes in to pick up Stiles from work and he notices one kid sitting on their own, not joining in with Stiles and the others. He sits with them and finds out that they were diagnosed with a terminal illness but are stable enough to go home, the problem is, their parents abandoned them because they couldn’t afford their child’s medical care.

After a few visits and a lot of discussion, Derek and Stiles take the child into their care. They give them the life that they deserve. Up until their condition worsens.

Inevitably, the child passes away. Derek and Stiles are heartbroken. Melissa reminds them that they gave that child a life they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

[imagine-sterek]

Imagine a No Hard Feelings Au where Derek is about to loose the land to his family home and needs money quick so he answers an ad where it’s asking for some one to date their son and get him out of his shell before he goes off to college and he’ll get paid. But things get serious when stiles actually falls in love with him.

[sterekmpreg]

Songs that remind me of Sterek pt 5

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Sterek au, stiles who has been cursed to turn to stone and Derek his wolf guard for centuries, waiting for the curse to weaken and his beloved to return to him.

Or maybe just stiles who turns to stone during the day when Derek is a man. Coming alive during the night when Derek is forced back into wolf skin. Cursed sterek to be with each other but not exactly with each other.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

He freezes. Doesn't know what the hell else to do. 

He can't picture it: Derek can't remember the last time somebody put their arms around him. 

Was it Laura?

Of course it was Laura. How could he forget that? Derek has gotten pretty good at blocking things out—a little too good, it seems.

She didn't tell him anything before leaving New York. Didn't say a fucking word, just up and vanished. Derek had woken up one morning and she was gone, because she'd known without a shadow of a doubt that Derek would've only followed her if she'd have said a single word to him.

Nobody ever granted Derek’s wishes, no matter who he prayed to. Those desperate pleas where he asked to go back and get a chance to fix things, they all went unheard.

Laura left to go back to the place they both wished still existed just as it had; a place they were wanted alive, not dead. It wasn't fair that it was the very same place they would be hunted down if they did return, like the rabid animals the Argent's presumed they were.

Leaving the way they did meant they hadn't gotten the chance to see if anything was left at the house. They couldn't even mark graves, to grieve properly. 

That same place also happened to be the place they'd been born, the place they'd grown up and called home.

Derek had never wanted Laura to face all of that alone.

The burnt down house. The nothing where there was once everything.

The thought still haunts him. One of so many. 

Beacon Hills is home—but it's the home Derek had helped raze to the ground with his selfishness and stupidity. Everything he and Laura had ever known, everyone they'd ever loved, it was all gone, now. Derek had taken those things away from his sister and hadn't even had the guts to tell her. Tell Laura they were all gone because of him, tell her that everything that had happened to their family, to them, was all his fault.

In the aftermath of the fire Laura hugged Derek, and had kept hugging him, over and over in those weeks and months and years that followed. She would pull him into her arms hold him tight, whenever she could sense it was all getting to be too much for him again.

Alpha.

Big sister.

But Laura only knew about some of the reasons why it sometimes felt like too much effort for Derek to keep on breathing.

He never told her about Kate.

And Derek, the fucking coward, he'd allowed Laura to hold him, feeling the flames of shame on his cheeks every time, hot as those that took the lives of his parents. His family. His pack. 

Now, he remembers that last time. 

“I'm going out.” 

Laura stood up, walked around the two mismatched armchairs and stopped him by throwing both her arms around his neck, pulling him into her and hugging him, scenting him. 

It always took him a moment to respond these days, but Derek hugged her back. 

“What's this for?”

“You. Because I know whomever's bed you end up in tonight, you won't be asking for one of these.”

Oh, fuck no.

Derek couldn't handle that. Did she think he was out sleeping with people? Never again, not after…

He pushed his sister off him, gently; a stark contrast to the harsh words that followed. 

“Don't fucking coddle me. And fuck you, Laura—I don't sleep in anybody's bed but my own.” A single mattress on the floor of the lounge of their shitty one bedroom apartment. Derek had so many shameful memories, and crawling into his sister's bed every night for the first year after the fire was one of them. “Just—leave me alone.”

Laura was the one—the only—person Derek had left in the entire world, yet his guilt was constantly pushing her away. 

“Where do you go to, little brother? You might not be clinging to me anymore, night after night, nightmare after nightmare, but you're rarely in your own bed most mornings.”

She hadn't meant it as a dig. Derek knew that. She was his sister, and she loved him.

Maybe she thought he was making progress? Seeing people. Moving on.

Derek spent his nights waiting outside of dive bars, and hanging around in back alleys and dark places, desperate to find scumbags to taunt who were big enough and hard enough to at least attempt to kick the living shit out of him.

Derek hated being a werewolf, now. He wanted to get hurt and stay hurt.

“Just—out.”

Then Derek turned his back on Laura, leaving her to stand there and watch him walk away as he left her to go out looking for a fight, without looking back. 

That was the last time somebody put their arms around Derek—and the last time he saw his sister alive.

It was two years ago. Derek doesn’t think he has taken a full breath, since. 

Now here he is—standing in his stupid big loft that he bought for his betas, yet another pack he managed to destroy—having given away more than he should, with skinny yet strong arms wrapping as far around his shoulders as they'll reach. 

Stiles.

“You don't have to hug back. But you can, if you want to. I won't tell,” the kid jokes. It's his way to connect, his connection to the world. A coping mechanism, Derek thinks.

He knows all about those.

“I…” he doesn't have the first fucking clue of how to handle this. Or how to admit he needs it—to himself, let alone somebody else. He doesn't know how to admit that he wants it. 

But this is Stiles. The one person in Derek's life who seems, for some unfathomable reason, to give a fuck about Derek. To care about him.

Slowly, very slowly, Derek lifts an arm and awkwardly rests a hand on Stiles's upper back, feels the muscles jump slightly under the kid's baggy clothes as he tentatively spreads his fingers and finds the back of Stiles's neck. 

Stiles's voice hitches just a touch as he says, “These can be on tap, you know. If you want them. Stilinski hugs are the best hugs, dude. Believe.”

And Derek finds he does believe. For the first time in forever, Derek believes there could be something good in his life again.

More confidently, now, he brings his other arm up to wrap around Stiles's waist and hugs Stiles tighter, properly, and allows himself to be hugged back.

Derek wonders how he has gone so long without this kind of closeness. Lived without this kindness.

He decides to let the 'dude' pass. Because maybe—maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all, to be somebody's dude? 

Stiles's dude.

It's a fucking ridiculous moniker and yet Derek suddenly couldn't care less. 

“I think I'd like that,” he whispers into the forbidden place where Stiles's jaw meets long, pale neck. "Dude."

Derek can feel Stiles's smile as the kid squeezes him harder. And ironically, Derek feels as if he can breathe again. 

.

for @greyhavenisback bc i want to hug you in person and can't <3 (unedited, forgive me!)

[livingxxdeadxxb0y]

Younger!Stiles: I'm a fox! My name is Stiles. What's your name, kid?

Younger!Derek: Mine's Derek, I'm a werewolf

Now imagine that as a fanfic where the Hales and the Stilinski don't get along until Stiles and Derek become friends (of course, they have a sad but happy ending like applejacks parents)