#step 2: get Taken
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r0d30-brqt · 1 year ago
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theyre a married couple looking for a third and they found one! :D (by picking them up off the streets)
mridula (they/them) belongs to @basedkalim
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spaciebabie · 27 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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royalnavyart · 3 days ago
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Another silly wip i'm working on~ ヾ(*´ ∇ `)ノ
I'm trying to setup the scene where they negotiate with Ubba and Guthrum, so the first part dialogue is just 1-to-1 with the show.
But the second part is going to be my own dialogue lmao which means ... well. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧🌈✨❤️‍🔥
It's still in super doodle stage so it might take awhile to finish up \(; v ;)/ i just thought this panel came out looking quite cute aha.
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deus-ex-mona · 5 months ago
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
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#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year ago
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Thank you for offering your askbox. I've been thinking that Izzy being just a side character whose story wasn't main plot thread makes even better proof that not everything was well planned? If I was a writer and this would be easily the most discussed topic about the finale, I'd reflect on storytelling decisions I made. There's a good reason why Izzy's fate overshadows everything despite that he wasn't the point of the show.
(Post posted 10/31/23) Feel free to comment below if you agree or disagree, we're all here for discussions.
Thank you so much for this amazing question!! [If you're seeing this and want to discuss some aspect of S2, or my thoughts on OFMD overall, SEND ME AN ASK! I love doing this]
TLDR: Vague characterization from historical records means Jenkins is free to bend history without a lot of guilt. During early days of casting and during scene changes Jenkins got inspired by Con's audition tape. Con was told to play this shit as a Jesus/Judas relationship. An amazing performance in S1 keeps the character relevant in fandom spaces in the hiatus, and in Jenkin's mind for S2. The S1 season finale accidentally reveals a really interesting dynamic in Ed/Izzy's relationship. [Speculation from this point on] Jenkins feels like he needs to explore, with little plans to fully explore it. Fleshing out both Ed/Izzy abuse and love.
Jenkins realizes 'Oh shit, Izzy wasn't supposed to be this' midway through S2. But he still follows his original plan in killing him off, because he's not needed for the story in his outline, leading to him accidentally killing off a character as they're growing and healing. Leading to what some consider a move SO off-brand for the show, they are leaving the fandom.
[*Tin Foil Hat On*] I expect the original cut of S2 to include more scenes of the crew. I bet for every other Izzy scene, we got a crew scene. So when 'extra' not plot-relevant scenes had to get cut, they kept the Izzy scenes due to Izzy's stable arc, the fact that he'd die at the end either way and Con's amazing performance.
EXPLINATION AND DEPTH BELOW! It's a long one. A lot of this post will be speculation, interviews from Jenkins, and highly dependent on if you were in fandom between seasons 1 and 2. If you need me to hunt for sources, I can do that for you.
I'll separate everything into a chronological timeline as much as possible.
Before we touch on why Jenkins wrote Izzy to stick out in the story, we need to assume how he outlined this entire show.
Pre Con O'Neill:
I am of the personal belief that Jenkins likely wrote out an imagined arc for Ed and Stede. Including a lot of cool set pieces, fights, etc. for the three seasons he wanted vaguely based on the real lives of Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach(watch a YouTube vid documenting their history, it's a wild ride) turning it into something explicitly romantic. This is easy enough to do, as most of what we know about them was written YEARS after their deaths.
Next was filling in the cast. This is where we get our crew, mostly characters Jenkins made up, as very little is known of the men either sailed with.
Izzy Hands being a pirate under the age of 18 whose notable actions with Blackbeard include- Captaining his own vessel, running a ship aground, being Blackbeard's first mate, and getting shot by Blackbeard maybe on accident.
[THEORY] So. If you're any writer you see that and think 'cool a side character we know almost nothing about'. You slot him in as being Edward's one thing keeping him to the pirate lifestyle. Not necessarily romantic, but a serious Boss/underling relationship. This is a bit of how Izzy was written in S1 UNTIL-
Con O'Neill is cast as Izzy.
In interview, Jenkins has admitted that Con's audition tapes influenced how he wrote Izzy. As a writer, this shouldn't necessarily be ringing red flags. But he has gone on record as admitting to changing the script before shooting to suit Con. IN SEASON 1. My guess is Izzy at the end of episode 10 was meant to be more of a side character. Another Frenchie, or Wee John, who serves their purpose and then gets pushed to the side by the plot.
But at some point, Jenkins wrote how important the dynamic was between Ed and Izzy. Describing Izzy/Ed to Con before filming S1 of a 'Jesus and Judas' relationship like in Jesus Christ Superstar.
If you tell a (then closeted) queer actor who has been playing queer roles since the 1990s that his leather daddy character was having a Jesus&Judas JSC dynamic in a TV show that respects and celebrates queerness? 🤩 MY GOD.
[Speculation] That's how we get an Izzy Hands who is watching the man in front of him slip away, trying to dig his heels in. Hell, if I were Jenkins, I'd be adding a few more lines for Izzy to be pissed just to see Con have fun in the role. Let him be mad. Let him be in the background of scenes just glaring. Let us see a man slowly lose something he's built up his whole life.
[As mentioned from Comic Con- From Con O'Neill] This was important for me to bring up as Jenkins could have said 'henchman' but he didn't. Hell, when Taika and Con did hair and makeup they'd listen to the JCS cast album. It was a choice on both their parts.
[ovservation from here on out] Con plays it up, and a lot of queer fans saw this and grabbed hold of a man so desperate to keep the man he loved close that he sacrifices almost everything for it (Izzy also signs the Act of Grace to get Ed out of there).
Izzy, in a show full of openly queer people, is still on the fringe of society. SO MANY queers saw this and said 'OMG me'. ME INCLUDED. With a super supportive actor who genuinely is respectful of the fandom? Of art, and fic and meta? The Izzy 'Canyon' became so loyal because Con is a Queer Elder we didn't know we all needed in our lives!
Jenkins accidentally wrote into what could be an amazing story of a queer character living in a homophobic society where he learns to open himself up. All without ever writing a 'coming out' scene for Izzy. Jenkins knows this. Hell, since S1 Izzy fans have been telling him how cool that type of arc would be.
Now here comes the issue of where to take a side character, when you have loose plans for them.
S1 IS TIGHTLY WRITTEN ONTO ITSELF... S2?
Something we might forget now is HOW tightly written Izzy's falling out with Ed is tied into Stede and Ed falling in love. Beat per beat, Izzy is shoved away as Stede takes his place. That's really fucking smart. So smart, it was planned in the writer's room. The fact that some took it as romantic, that Ed could ever really love him back? Well...this is where Jenkins had a decision to make.
So he dips his toe. Let's make Ed even more violent than at the end of S1ep10. Let's include the bit where Blackbeard shoots Izzy Hands. Let's have Izzy confess his love for Ed and have it not be enough for Ed to change his mind. Let's show Izzy rising like a phoenix reborn after a failed suicide attempt where Izzy chooses to mutiny on Ed to protect the crew. Let's see Izzy growing. Because Jenkins loves Con's performance. Everyone in the cast enjoys him as a person. Let's give Izzy one last hurrah.
Jenkins knows this character meant a lot to Con. It's obvious in the way Jenkins recently confessed he told Con about Izzy's death midway through shooting. Sadly we likely will never be told when Con was told. But imagining Con filming the AMAZING character change of S2eps 1-2, then AFTER being told Izzy would die anyway? Oh. I wouldn't be alright. Not after all his fans had spent the last year telling him how much seeing a character like Izzy 'being accepted because they are worthy of love'.
This is the 1 thing that fucks me up. Not telling Con until midway through shooting, Versus his belief that writing Izzy's death was a fitting way to end his story. BOTH CAN'T BE TRUE. Right? If Jenkins felt the need to take con aside and go grab a meal to announce Izzy was dying but then market the ending as a 'Good Idea'. Then...What? If Con felt it fit the character, then he would have likely guessed Izzy would die. But that wasn't the vibe in the fandom at the time. It feels like a decision Jenkins made this season.
Because yes, some general audiences predicted that Izzy would die. But when your core fanbase for a character don't expect it, you didn't plan the death correctly. Fuck, I thought Izzy was trying to RECOVER this whole season. Not that Izzy was hiding how hard he was struggling. That's not a good sign when I've ALWAYS called Izzy as some brand of suicidal/depressed.
[Quote from Jenkins Entertainment Article: Oct 26 2023] 'What's the best journey we can give him(Izzy)? And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con, who can do just about anything?'
That is not the quote of an author who has planned everything out. That's a writer who knows points A and E and is fighting to find everything in between.
The Fly in My Ointment
There's a point most writers know when a character or story slips out from under you. You didn't mean for this to happen. Hell, I write Scene by Scene outlines. My stories change. When Izzy Hands' growth arc became the most interesting part of S2, Jenkins had a choice.
How far was he willing to bend his idea to keep a character that wasn't 'essential'? Not that fucking far apparently. Because for some reason, Jenkin's labeled Izzy in his mind as 'Blackbeard' and tied Ed and Izzy's fates together. Ignoring how this season Izzy died to separate his old life with Ed from his new life with this crew.
Your question poses it perfectly- If I was a writer and this would be easily the most discussed topic about the finale, I'd reflect on storytelling decisions I made. There's a good reason why Izzy's fate overshadows everything despite that he wasn't the point of the show.
That's a trick they teach you in some writing podcasts. That in the end, you are telling one story. You can have twenty side characters and a romance arc, but in the end, you are telling one story. Each side character is going to show what happens when you fail or succeed at the central thesis.
What do we have in S1? What does Frenchie sing to set up where our story STARTS-
"A pirate’s life, [it’s] short but nice,” -“we won’t live long,”  AND “to death we go, a certain death we go.”
Our characters expect a short simple life of what most pirates EXPECT. In my mind, this story has ALWAYS been about survival. From the extravagance of Stede's ship, and a crew ready to throw him overboard, to the barebones Shark eats Shark type of survival described in Ed's own fleet. OFMD is about living in a world that doesn't want you there. About surviving and thriving. About these two men from different worlds coming together and forging a life of kindness for them and for their family.
Saying fuck you, I'm here, I'm still alive, and I'm going to THRIVE. I deserve kindness, happiness, love, and a fully lived life. I deserve to spend my short time on this Earth happy.
IN S2? The ONLY character that matches this thesis is Izzy. After scenes of Izzy struggling. Of finding himself. Of crawling up from his own personal hell, Izzy dies. He dies from a random bullet wound in the same spots that didn't kill Stede or Ed in the previous season. Breaking the one established rule for wounds in this universe that the left side is the safe side so that Izzy can die.
Even if Izzy spent this entire season wanting to die, he tried to live. For a few days after a breakup of over 20+ years of casual intimacy. Of a bond where Izzy was the murderer, the brawn. The dangerous right hand. Where Izzy dying meant not just his death, but likely that of Ed. Given the man's constant depressive moods, crews that didn't like him, and reoccurring suicidal tendencies. Ed didn't need Izzy Hands anymore. Ed had Stede now. He was ready to finally leave Izzy for good. What will Izzy Hands do now?
He gave up. He tried to move on. He listened after being told he was too rough, too loud, too mean. He tried. He tried to survive this new way of life surrounded by people who supported him. But he was tired. After so many years of putting up a mask, tearing it down was too much work. So he wanted to die. In the end. Izzy died in the arms of Edward surrounded by his family.
Buried on a plot of land Jenkins has already told us Stede and Ed will leave when things get boring. Left behind like the corpse of a pet the family has forgotten. Buried without his ring and cravat, items Izzy is only seen without when he's naked. Without the prosthetic gifted to him by a family that cared about him.
Izzy wasn't mourned for more than five seconds, before Stede and Ed were making jokes on his fresh grave, and then the episode moves on to a wedding.
RIP Izzy Hands- a man who loved more than he was ever loved in return.
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Was this the right message? FUCK No. But for those of us who believed that theme of queer survival and community- We saw framing Izzy's death like this as a fucking betrayl.
Izzy Hands isn't buried with his most prized possessions- they're left out to be stolen or rot in the front yard. With only one man crying over his death and a silent funeral. He leaves this world without more than a 'he was intense'. Which...isn't great coming from the man Izzy loved for most of his life.
The reason why we're mad about Izzy isn't that it's Izzy. It's that when we boarded this flight we were given a set of rules to follow. It's a comedy about men falling in love on a boat that sometimes gets serious. That's it. To watch a character start to grow only to die for NO PLOT SPECIFIC REASON. Is insulting. If your death has no tie to the narrative (sacrifice or it comes with a revelation) it's a death just set up for shock. Izzy and Ed could have had that deathbed confession talk at the start of episode 7.
A REASON WHY I'M MAD BEYOND THAT SPECIFICALLY. [Very Personal Gripe]
A SALUTE TO CON O'NEILL -AGAIN!
I had the privilege of hyper-fixating on this show from the entirety of S1 ending to S2 beginning. During this time I explored the catalog of Con O'Neill's work on Tumblr under the tag 'Conography'. I watched this man play queer roles since the 1990s. Genderqueer/somewhere on the Trans spectrum, Gay, Bi. This man loves to play a queer story, even if it's sad. If it's tragic. He will breathe new life into their lungs and express their moments of Joy. Of love. Of community.
After the filming of S2 at a con, Con he felt comfortable publicly coming out due to the love and support he felt from our fandom. Do you know JUST how crazy that is? That Con KNEW Izzy was dead, yet he loved our fandom so much he let himself be vulnerable, and come out as queer? It's fucking INSANE to me, and shows just how much this show means to him.
He's not just Queer. He's a Queer fucking elder whose been protective of this entire community since S1. This 57-year-old man has proudly stood up in the name of Trans rights this entire time. Treating everyone, but especially Trans Izzy fans with so much fucking respect. Trans Izzy is a common headcanon partially because of how comfortable people feel knowing they won't get harassed because they interpret Izzy a certain way. That trans people feel at home seeing themselves as a misunderstood character with a chip on their shoulder.
I'm pissed for every in universe thing listed above AND NOW THIS. Because our Queer Elders are dead. There is a generation of Queer people we can never get back. They died from a mix of society pressuring these people into the closet or an early grave. Of disease running wild in communities unchecked. Of media ruining the careers of anyone who dared to come out. To see Con O'Neill So Fucking Happy and having it cut short because Jenkins thought Izzy was better dead than being an actual background character makes me see fucking red.
No. Jenkins probably didn't know Con was Queer when writing S2. But I'm assuming he still saw how happy Con was at Izzy fans before S2 was written which still makes it feel shitty.
Sure. Give Izzy all the amazing speeches about family and belonging and rip that right from his hands as soon as Izzy realizes it's something he might want for himself. Let's have Con O'Neill say all the prominent lines that are a blatant metaphor for why the Queer community needs to stick together.
Izzy's arc isn't just overshadowing the conversation because it was mismanaged and feels unplanned, it also just feels cruel to the central arc of this series. Add that to an actor who was so vocal about loving this community, it feels pointed to give him a tragic ending.
Jenkins doesn't need to consider why people hated this finale. Because there are SO MANY Ed/Stede fans who just don't care. They put Izzy in the box with every other side character and decided to put their effort into the protagonists and point and laugh when we suffer. Jenkins won't rethink anything because he can just say the 'Izzy community was passionate and are sad their favorite died'. Ignoring how this season made Stede into a shittier, less sympathetic captain and gave Ed an interesting arc only to give up before the finish line.
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purrfurnax · 6 months ago
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can our parents please stop
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piromantic · 6 months ago
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there are definitely valid criticisms to make of the series 'i'm in love with the villainess' but all the criticisms in the tag are like
ignorance of yuri trope
misunderstanding of yuri trope
ignorance of yuri trope
ignorance of yuri trope being subverted
complaint about a story having conflict in it
misunderstanding of yuri trope
threat of extreme violence against the morally grey traumatized masc lesbian character
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herawell · 1 year ago
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sparklehoard · 1 year ago
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My adhd and possible autistic ass is LOVING the course I'm in 🥲💛
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thresholdbb · 1 year ago
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The difference between the EMH and real doctors is the Doctor believes something’s wrong with you, figures out what it is, treats you, and insults you
Real doctors just insult you
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liebelesbe · 1 year ago
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OUGH I could have exactly gotten my fucking bus but I thought the next one left in 30mins so I took up my brother on his offer to come get me so I didn't go to the bus stop but to where he can pick me up so I didn't see the fucking bus 😭
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nomairuins · 3 days ago
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are there ppl who dont like the opening to tp..... okay ummmm anyways
#i love that the opening is slow i think its a rly great way to show links like. hes just some guy fr like yes hes like the chosen hero or#wever but he is like. some guy and i think its rly effective to get to wander around his little village and see how close he is with#everybody in the village and esp the kids#its more impactful that way when hes like. Pulled into his quest and all of this . like tp spoilers i guess LOL but the kids getting taken#wouldnt be as impactful if link like. didnt interact at all#like if you wake up go outside and then boom the kids r gone thats lame#i think its a fun way to have it be like. hes going on this quest To save the kids number one and it just kinda escalates from there and he#ends up doing all that but likeee. my fav thing abt tp link is how homey he is and how like. His quest rly starts BC the kids are taken and#bc he needs 2 save those kids. at least thats how i see him#so i absolutelyyyy imagine him being rly homesick for the entire thing + i think that makes it fun w him travelling w midna bc i imagine#them both as being very homesick. but both of their homes arent Right atm like yk i think its a fun parallel#and i think its served rly well by the opening. and also i just LOVE ordon village even if i step outside of my kindergarten level media#interpretation like i love that village its so cute to me the music i so calming to me i loooooooooove ordon village ok. even if it did#serve no narrative purpose to have link farting around his hometown for a while at the beginning i would still want it there bc IIIII love#ordon village. ^_^
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badcountryofficial · 3 months ago
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Like it was never about me or what was best for me...I have to laugh because of how absolutely ABSURD it is
#and i let it HAPPEN#i genuinely dont know how else to react like.#stepping away and seeing it all for what it is in the light of day...with sober eyes...like wow. goddamn#like i just?? dont understand#'i told my friends about what you did to me' 'that's ur right' and then not even 2 weeks later 'i cant believe u told them..'#because i did it 'to make them hate you' like 1. then why did u do it. why did u do it then?#2. all i said was what you did.#then my friends said 'hey you deserve someone who listens to your boundaries that's not okay'#i shpuld be able to tell ppl how my partner treats me it shouldnt be smth i hide from them.#telling them was for me. but that didnt matter. your image did#well now they know. and now you know your actions have consequences.#it's just so infuriating. the amount i poured and poured and looking back it's like.#now i see so clearly it was all a fucking mirage it was never fucking real.#it's so unfair. i dont understand how it went on that long#not that he cares he gets to move on because he never really put in anything. no steps were taken no real truth was given#meanwhile i opened my life and bore my soul so.#like good for him ig he can just move on and get what he wants from someone new#and good for me because now i know more#but i still have to deal w this bullshit future i planned w someone who i now realized never wanted it really#like fuck. fuck#goddammit#so whatever i guess#and i hid SO MUCH because i KNEW how it would look#but to ME who had all the 'context' i didnt want them to just see what i told them#but i now realize the 'context' was all bullshit and i should not have been trying to protect someone who didnt even care enough to listen#to me saying no. god. i wasnt even asking for that much either.#i wasnt crazy. i wasnt acting like my dad. i was being a normal adult. it just crushes me.#because if i was in his place and i truly believed i was with my soul mate i would have simply done the hard shit.#but he didnt believe that ig so! now i know!!#yippee!!!!!
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princessmyriad · 6 months ago
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#personal#i dont really know how to talk about this but i am scared. for myself. not for my system but for me and also for my sys#im primary protector. i am the oldest being in this body by time (not by age). i was one of the first created at the bodys 9month old Thing#ive always had a background almost co-con role. not fully cocon but i contribute to a lot of the blur because im always close enough to#the front to be able to step in as quickly as possible if needed. and to give instructions and warnings to whoevers in front and needing it#the last maybe 2 months? 3? ive taken up a more active hosting role in a cycle with 3 others#im really worried that its been happening so much that its impacting my duties as primary protector. im scared the brain has been#keeping things from me or shutting of knowledge i did have access to to help me adjust to concept of hosting#i cant see the inner as clearly as i could. i know my girlfriends in there somewhere but reaching out only has like a 12% chance of#getting through when ive spent the last 14 years almost living on top of her as she was the old host.#it feels rough and scary. like i know shes in there i think our gatekeep would tell me if she became dormant even if i was full host so i#i have to belive shes alright in there but i do miss her so bad. i want to know shes okay. i want to hold her#im mostly worried about losing more access to information i used to have and diminishing my use in my protector role as a result#i dont want to be a host. i need to feel like i can talk to my guys and gals and pals with the clarity and communication weve spent the last#4 years building. i feel there are more capable than me to replace me and allow me to step back and resume background-host/protector stuff#they are untrained and unfamiliar with our life but theyre not trauma holders. what do they call those? normal parts? dont like that languag#but they dont have the trauma related issues that some olthers/old hosts do and can be trained in the running of the life#we dont work we dont really leave the house due to agoraphobia so we have the time and space to train a new host#idk what to do#idk where this went i guess this is venting you can ignore it#but i guess the solution is to talk to the one cohost i can still talk with and see if they can do some hiring for me#get them to head in and see if the brain will cooperate to bring someone else out to take my host spot soon#or make one but thats not ideal id prefer to avoid that if we can. but i can feel myself reaching my limits for this#somethings gotta give soon either way#system#although we already have 3 other hosts in roster and several alters created specifically for that hanging out inside too so maybe#maybe things wont crumble if i just decide to step back on my own. if i can. harder to step back when i cant access inner but maybe if i can#then we will survive with the 3
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geraskier · 7 months ago
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caprice is now a level 6 bard/level 2 monk, with the helldusk gloves that add necrotic damage on unarmed attacks (along with a chance to inflict bleeding), as well as boots that give lightning charge upon dashing, and the jolty vest thing that shocks melee attackers using lightning charges. still dual-wielding hand crossbows for long range combat, and i took the dual wielding perk that increases AC. im dying a lot less partially bc ive learned how to better economize combat actions also.
gave karlach the dual wielding perk to increase her AC, and conversely am having lae'zel use two-handed weapons this time. kinda evens things out that way too, cause lae'zel has the extra action skill so she doesn't really need the offhand weapon attack. astarion kicks ass with the shrieking sword and the AOE saving throw penalty is extemely useful for bard spells.
(side note: the intimidation bonus from the durge origin pairs very well with performance/deception/persuasion bard bonuses.)
OH. something i noticed: caprice can't melee dual-wield with anything larger than shortswords, scimitars, or daggers. i suspect this is connected to being "small" instead of "medium" sized, as astarion does not have this problem and he has the same strength score (8). i don't care either way bc of my focus on unarmed strikes but that's still interesting. edit: wait nvm it's bc i didn't take the dual-wielding perk.
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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 7 months ago
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i think the thing that i’m most looking forward to about moving into my apartment is starting over. not fully - i’m not cutting everyone off, i’m not completely restarting hobbies or commitments - but this is a space i’ll probably be in long-term where i can restart a bit. i’ll be living in my own place. i’m not going back to be stuck in the house that i was in through losing my mobility and all my health issues and everything with my dad. i’m not stuck with the constant risk of seeing people i used to know who want to catch up. i don’t have to constantly change myself or feel stuck as someone i’m not anymore. i’m nervous, and this is a really big change, but i think i need it
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