#steddyhands if you think about it

[whats-mine-is-hers]

"you've got a type"

[arsenicflame]

steddyhands modern au inspired by this post:

(1828 words, themes of kink but nothing explicit, established blackhands & gentlebeard-centric. Happy Pride!)

Stede picks up leatherworking in the wake of his divorce. He's not exactly sure how it ended up being such an important hobby for him, only that he had always admired the intricate designs on his horse's best bridles, and with little else to do with his time, he decides to give it a go.

It's rocky going at first, but he's having fun working with his hands for the first time in his life, and there's a sense of satisfaction in seeing the design come to life as he works. With practice, his skills improve, and he learns how to make things that are truly one of a kind.

He starts off posting his pieces online, as a way to reach fellow enthusiasts, but quickly finds himself with a rather large audience. Stede’s style is unique, and, after many requests from his followers, Lucius encourages him to make some more basic pieces he can sell. It's not about making money for Stede, but another way to meet new people who share his interests- as Lucius keeps telling him, it's sad that his personal assistant is the main person he talks to these days. 

So Stede sets out on a new adventure, and has quite the time designing a new range of patterns for the market. He makes purses, belts, bracelets, and, most importantly, dog collars- all still with his unique designs embossed into them, of course. He rents a booth at his towns monthly craft fair, and very quickly finds himself with a new group of friends in the other regulars- Pete, his usual neighbour, who sells an array of wooden figures he carves, Roach, who runs a stand for his bakery, and Frenchie, who isn't actually a stallholder, but is almost always busking near his friend Wee John’s stand of knitted goods, bringing life to the market even in the pouring rain. There's also Buttons, another regular at the market. Nobody is exactly sure what he does there- he doesn't sell things, or seem to buy anything either, but rain or shine, he's there with the birds.

Stede’s been doing this a few months by the time June rolls around. As he's setting up his stand, he notices that the area is much busier than it’d normally be at this time of morning. Lucius, who got roped into helping run Stede’s stall somewhere down the line (despite his protests that this is not what personal assistant means… But hey, he got a boyfriend out of it, at least), reminds him that there's the parade today, too- not realising that Stede had no clue there was a parade today, and especially not that it was pride. Stede immediately jumps to fretting about the amount of stock he’s brought, and Lucius takes the cue to escape, saying he’ll go and grab them coffee (but really, he's off to flirt with Pete)

Lucius is still missing when Ed stumbles across the little leather stall. Stede’s just ran back to his car to fetch his last boxes of inventory, and by the time he returns, Ed’s already begun to narrow down his choices. Stede greets him, starting to tell him that they're not actually open yet, but before he gets more than a couple of words out, Ed’s exclaiming “You're a Kiwi!!!”

The two of them smile at the shared recognition, and Stede says he’ll make an exception, just for Ed, and asks him what exactly he was interested in. Ed tells him that he's looking for a collar “for his boy”, and points out the particular design he was looking at. It happens to be one of Stede’s favourites from this latest run of work, a fact he mentions to Ed. It leads them into a discussion about Stede’s craft, and Ed’s Izzy, and then everything in between. Ed’s listening intently to the things Stede’s telling him, completely drawn in by the process, and by Stede himself. He watches as Stede stamps Izzy's name into the collar, and Stede even lets him have a go at one of the stamps. 

Lucius reappears sometime in the middle of this- only to immediately retreat again, seeing Stede engrossed with Ed. He sets up camp at Pete's booth opposite, watching this man flirt intensely with his boss- and Stede flirt back just as hard. Does Stede even realise he’s doing it? Lucius had known Stede was gay since before Stede even admitted it to himself, but this is on a whole other level.

The pair stand there so long that Izzy comes to look for Ed- the two of them are manning a float on the parade with their crew, and it's past time for them to get geared up. He's already worked up, frustrated to have been left to set up everything alone, when Ed had just gone to see if he could get them both coffee. So maybe he's a bit of a prick, approaching with a brash “where the fuck have you been, Edward”, to which Stede brings the same energy, giving a bitchy “Ed! Do you know this guy?” Izzy tenses, ready to snap, but then Ed cuts in, excitedly telling Stede that this is “his Izzy!” Which confuses the hell out of Stede. 

Forgetting his earlier attitude, he asks Ed if he “really named his dog after his friend”, only to be met with confusion right back from Ed at where the hell Stede got the idea he had a dog from. Stede gestures at the bag with the collar in it, to which Ed has to tell him, “oh, no, that's for him.” Ed tells Stede that they're here to run a float for their local leather society, and while Stede is certainly shocked by what Ed’s saying, he's not finding himself… uninterested. It's simply that he’s never even considered any of this before, especially not that people would use the things that he made for this, but Ed sounds so enthusiastic about it all. He tells him about how his friends would love to see Stede’s work, about how classic leather gear is always so fucking boring- but not Stede’s stuff, no, Stede’s stuff is “fresh” and “fascinating” and unlike anything Ed’s ever seen before. 

Ed's enthusiasm is incredibly infectious, so when he invites Stede to come back to see their float, he readily agrees. It’s a concept Izzy’s less than enthusiastic about. He doesn’t really want to bring this man who’s dressed like he just walked out of a HOA board meeting to their kinky little corner of the world, but he is having a lot of fun watching Stede squirm, so decides not to raise a protest. He does demand he gets his long-overdue coffee first, though (Stede pays for it- as “compensation for him distracting Ed from his job”, he says, not giving Izzy a second to process before he's tapping his card)

By the time they return to the float, Fang, Ivan & Jim are waiting for them, all already geared up. Stede is stunned silent at the sight for about 5 seconds, before he starts actually looking at the quality of Jim’s harness, and proceeds to go off about the poor quality of the craftsmanship, about how the hardware is tacky and completely the wrong choice with this leather, how his “ten year old daughter could do a better job!!!” 

There's complete silence from the group, until Izzy, of all people, bursts into laughter at Stede’s audacity (and, the fact he was staring at Jim's tits completely unabashedly, like he hadn't even noticed them in the first place). Izzy's laughter sets Ed off as he tells the group about Stede’s misunderstanding- “you didn't say he was a person!” “I mean, he's my dog”- and soon everyone's having a friendly giggle at Stede’s mistake.

It's somewhere in the middle of the retelling that Ed remembers that this whole thing happened because he was buying Izzy a gift. After a moments fumbling, he presents Izzy with the collar-  It's a rich, deep black, embossed with a rolling pattern that resembles waves. It’s made from a firm enough leather to take the tooling, and to remind Izzy that he’s owned while he’s wearing it, yet still soft enough for long term comfort. Izzy's eyes immediately lock on to it, an unreadable expression coming over his face, and Ed turns it; first so he can really see the design and Izzy’s name embossed into it, and then so he can see the small “Ed ♥” on the inside of the collar, right over his swallow tattoo. 

“I did the heart,” Ed says to him softly, intended only for Izzy’s ears. Izzy's eyes flick up to Ed’s, and he raises his chin to give Ed the room to put it on. Ed buckles the collar around his neck almost reverently, a test of the tightness turning into a caress of Izzy's neck. It's a perfect fit.

It's as though something comes over Izzy; so twitchy and abrasive earlier, now silent, staring at Ed with a look akin to worship in his eyes. He obediently tilts his head for a kiss as Ed's fingers move to his chin- It's a sight to behold, and one that has Stede intrigued. He wants to know more about this lifestyle, and these men in particular. He wants to be the one to put that expression on Izzy's face.

The moment breaks as Ed and Izzy pull apart, and Ed calls for the crew to finish the last bits of set up. Izzy shakes himself a little before running off to bark orders again, but even still, there remains a softness to him that wasn't there before. 

Ed turns back to Stede with an apologetic smile, already obvious that he has to get going. Before he can speak, however, Stede jumps in -“My business numbers on the card in the box… I'll be around all day”- Ed’s smile turns more genuine at that, promising to stop by if he gets a moment, and that he’ll send his friend's Stede’s way- “if he wants that kind of business.” Stede says that he does, actually- that he's seen a whole new world already today, and, while he was a little taken aback at first, he can feel the passion Ed and his friends have for this life. If there's one thing that's ever mattered to Stede, it's other people's enthusiasm. Maybe he doesn't completely understand yet, but he would like to try.

One year later, Stede’s back at the market on pride weekend again, far better stocked for the crowds this time around. Lucius is finally free to spend the day flirting with Fang & Pete to his heart's content, now that Stede’s roped his own boyfriends into helping him run the stall- and into modelling the merchandise. Ed loves that part, while Izzy needs a lot more convincing, but the puppy eyes Stede & Ed weaponise against him make a very good argument.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Stede and Izzy watching the sun rise, drinking tea and discussing the plans for the day while Ed sleeps in.

Izzy and Ed watching the sun set, leaning back and reminiscing over old times while Stede tells the crew their bedtime story.

Ed and Stede stargazing, laying on the foretop and making up stories about the constellations while Izzy gets some well-deserved rest in their bed.

[capsgirl19]

I'm listening to Night Vale again. The first episode.

I haven't watched the last few episodes of ofmd, yet. I'm out of the country, and I tend to watch stuff with specific people, so I'm waiting until I get back, but I already know I will not be happy. Got a spoiler looking through some unrelated tags and it was... Probably about the only thing that could've made me lose interest in the show completely. I know I shouldn't have hoped. I know that no matter how telegraphed it seems, you never get a poly ending whether due to the writers failing to see what you do or to studio mandates. But with everything in the first season, all the non-normative relationship structure, the "we don't own each other," the fact that Taika Waititi himself seems to be involved in some kind of poly arrangement... I did hope. I hoped maybe I'd get a somewhat ambiguous ending, Ted Lasso kind of deal. Just something that would let me imagine the thing I wanted in post-canon. In my wildest, most unicorn-note-fueled dreams, I thought maybe they'd use the Riverdale ending to strongarm HBO for a poly resolution next season. But at the very least, with all Jenkins' talk this season about how much he loves Izzy, about his possibility as a romantic lead, I thought they wouldn't just kill him off for being in the way of the main couple's One True Monogamous Love. And I was wrong about that. And I'm really really fucking disappointed.

I thought it was a better show than it was. I thought it was... more invested in queerness than it is, I think, and now I'm in this limbo of waiting to watch episodes I know I will hate so I can formally cut ties, and I am listening to the first piece of queer media that didn't disappoint me.

I remember that so strongly. How at sixteen I just sat there dumbstruck as I listened, because I couldn't believe we could have something real. Something that wasn't just a truce, a nod to the shippers before moving on with business as usual, but that we were right. That it wasn't bait.

Our Flag used to feel that way to me.

[capsgirl19]

Picked gay and homophobic, but I actually think that Izzy is gay and deeply practical.

It's not a matter of whether he thinks it's right or wrong, if they start going around in silk robes singing about their feelings, other pirates are going to slaughter the entire crew. Ed was literally planning to kill Stede for this same behavior at the start of the show, and Stede was a brand new captain. If it comes down to the clout of killing *History's Greatest Pirate*??? Of course Izzy's not going to let them smell blood in the water. Of course he provoked him, he's probably fucking terrified Ed's going to get them both killed, and with good reason. Being at the top requires a precarious balancing act that Ed has shown less and less interest in putting on, and they no longer have a crew with any real fighters but Jim, Fang, Ivan, and the two of them. If more than one other crew (or even just a crew a bit larger than them) gets it into their head to try and dethrone Blackbeard because they heard he's gone soft, it won't be difficult. Invincibility is an illusion and Izzy is very aware of that.

I think some folks really attached to this idea that Izzy did all that because he's a Toxic Masculinity True Believer who wants his brutal Dom back and I just don't buy it. I think Izzy has a very very realistic understanding of how the world works (hence his role on the crew), and that he doesn't think it's worth getting hung up on whether that's fair. I don't think he wants Ed to never have feelings, I think he views their relationship as a shelter from the roles they play publicly. Ed should not be having feelings around people other than him, because it's not safe. He wants codependence, which is fucked up but in a different way than much of the fandom seems to believe.

Basically my opinion on this boils down to Izzy is homophobic in practice but not in theory, and in practice it is for very good reason. It's up to the individual on how much that mitigates harmful actions, but as a practical and deeply loyal bitch myself, being right goes a long way in my book.

Anyway, thanks for reading all this! Here's a pic of my Izzy cosplay(+ Captains) for your trouble. :)

[dimplyowl]

You know, I really wonder what my thoughts would be on Izzy if there wasn’t an entire subset of the fandom that was deluded that he’s actually the main character and is the victim in this entire thing, because you know what? My first couple watchthroughs I didn’t really care about him. I didn’t like him. But I was just kind of like “hey that’s an interesting character and he sucks and I wonder where they’re gonna go with him next season” and that was about it.

And then I learned about them and saw the kinds of takes they had on Ed and Izzy’s relationship and the gross take that Ed is abusive when we only ever see Ed responding to what other people, izzy included, do to him, not instigating and trying to hurt people.

And it wasn’t until then that I started to actually hate him, and the way people were making allowances for his behavior, behavior that is the same as behavior shown by the Badmintons and Stede’s father toward Stede, and the way the story was being twisted to make the poc the bad guy, when Izzy is very clearly an antagonist in s1.

I had even read the occasional steddyhands, if it was by an author I liked. And now I don’t want him anywhere near my boys. Not unless there’s some kind of textual acknowledgement of all the shit he pulled (and sorry, but even the deathbed apology in canon just wasn’t enough for me, though at least it was something).

But I just wonder, what would I think about him if I hadn’t seen people talking like Izzy was a victim and thought “well now that doesn’t seem right”. Cause I can tell you for sure that before all this, I didn’t give two shits about him either way and I hate that now I have to overcompensate for the apologists because of takes like that. like i get liking a villain. i actually fucking love Ricky and wish we had gotten more of him in s2. the difference is that I'm not over here talking about how poor Ricky was abandoned and lost his nose and his plan to destroy all pirates was swindled and how sad that is and how depressing that stede was a bitch to him. I'm just over here enjoying that he sucks and that i hope he gets what he deserves in s3 (because I'm fully deluded that s3 is still coming).

[lavenderprose]

The canonical existence or lack thereof for evidence of Stizzy/Steddyhands aside, I do not know WHY anyone would refuse to play in this space. It's so much fun imagining a fucked up little dude who's been 18th century gay married to his best friend/worst nightmare for thirty slutty, slutty years. It's even more fun to imagine that same fucked up little man realizing that not only does he DESPISE his hatehusband's new boytoy/soulmate, but he's also OBSSESSED and possibly in a deep amount of LUST with said golden retriever. He sees Stede handle Ed with all the tender loving affection that they never learned how to give each other and thinks exclusively the thought "That should be ME" and he doesn't even know which of them he's talking about! Have you ever seen a man spiral so hard with Want that he self destructs and brings everything within a ten mile radius down with him? Yes you have. That's Izzy Hands babey.

[goayda]

So what if… in a modern Steddyhands AU, instead of a Stizzy meet-cute they meet in a car crash. Nothing too serious, just the annoying, extremely inconvenient minor crash that makes you park on the side and blame each other and then exchange info for the insurance company.

And when they are about to go their separate ways, Izzy’s old car doesn’t start and Stede can see how upset he is and feels terribly guilty because the crash might have been his fault because he was briefly checking his phone when it happened.

And Izzy is exhausted after a double shift and it’s starting to rain and he just needs to go home because he is bringing Ed some medicine, but he can’t even blame the posh idiot because he thinks he might have closed his eyes for a second at the wheel and he realizes it could have been much worse.

And the posh idiot then offers to drive him home, saying it’s not a problem and to please, please, let him do that for him. And he seems sincere and so eager and Izzy agrees because Ed has been sick and alone most of the day and he needs the meds for that awful cold and Izzy has promised him to bring home some Chinese food from their favorite restaurant and it’s getting cold.

So Izzy takes his backpack, the medicines and the take-away bags and gets in that big, luxurious car, wondering how much that thing must cost, but doesn’t say anything aside from grunting ‘thank you’, which surprisingly makes the other man smile brightly at him.

And they drive in silence and Stede finds himself glancing quite often at the man beside him. He looks tired and is clutching the pharmacy bag on his lap as if it was a teddy bear and Stede surprises himself by thinking the man looks kind of cute.

Meanwhile, Izzy is worrying about Ed, because he probably hasn’t been drinking enough water and eating only if he feels like it and it has been a mess of a day, but he is going to be home soon and then everything will be fine.

When they get there it’s pouring rain and Stede insists on helping him with the bags and walking him home with an umbrella because otherwise the man is going to get drenched in seconds and Izzy says that there is no need, that it’s not that far, but Stede doesn’t take no for an answer.

So they walk side by side under a ridiculously small umbrella and as expected, both of them get partially drenched. Still, when they reach the door and Izzy takes the keys to open it, he can see Stede is smiling at him anyway and when Izzy opens his mouth to say ‘goodbye and thank you for the ride home’, he ends up saying something completely different.

“Do you want to get in? We have enough dinner for three.”

(The next day Stede is trying to find a subtle way to ask his assistant Lucius about those poly relationships he often talks about without giving him much information.

He is not subtle at all and Lucius immediately asks him to tell him EVERYTHING.

And Stede tells him how handsome and charming Ed is and how sweet Izzy looked when he fell asleep on the sofa after dinner, with his hair tousled and snoring softly and that he very much would like to see them both again.)

[theyoungeragrippina]

✨ 15 gentlebeard fic recs ✨

i have spent the last month trawling the pages of ao3 for you, dear reader, to find the best ofmd fics. all the works on this list:

are longer-form (generally 40k+)

have no steddyhands (simply not my thing)

are generally, all around brilliant (well-written, had me kicking my feet and giggling, laughing, or crying)

are complete!

part 2 and part 3

A Heart Unsated by roughwinds

48k, explicit

"Stede Bonnet has just moved into Orange Crescent. There’s a house on the corner, opposite Stede’s own, with a garden full of flowers and a gleaming motorbike on the driveway. He’s forgotten to buy sugar.

Edward Teach has his morning disturbed by his new neighbour. Enamoured at first sight, he invites Stede round for a chat, and then another, and then another.

This is the story of them."

man i normally avoid fics with lots of alma and louis in them because its just not for me, but literally every second of the family bonding in this was so wholesome i was forced to change my entire mind.

all you left me was a pearl by @sightofsea

88k, mature

"1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary.

Things do not go as planned."

every day i wish for a precise memory erasing potion to be invented so i can read this again for the first time. i would devour like 2000k more words of this if it was offered to me. brilliant.

forgive & forget by @fool-for-luv

44k, mature

"It hits him then, like a wave breaking on sand, loud as thunder when it crashes, then trickling away into little rivulets flowing back home, murmuring one word over and over and over. Ed.

The problem is, Stede doesn’t recall ever having met anyone named Ed."

so sweet and wonderful, and i wish there was more.

#gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe

41k, teen

"In which Stede accidentally convinces the pirating world that Gentlebeard (or Blackbonnet or Stedward; there's a poll) is canon, reunites his crew, and gets his boyfriend back."

hilarious & silly & great, but also the most compelling notes of any fic i've ever read. a proper learning experience.

if music be the food of love (then darling, you're a feast) by @fool-for-luv

107k, unrated

"“Hey, so, those two, right, they get together in the end?” Ed asks.

“I would protest spoiling it, but I think it's rather obvious, isn't it?” Stede says. His nose wrinkles as he smiles. “The tension is certainly there from the beginning. It just takes them a while to get there.”

“Good. Would have been a shit story otherwise.""

i love sassy stede and i love ed who is a grump and i love that they share one single braincell at any given time.

If You Were Mine to Keep by @mysterybees

162k, explicit

"Caught between the gallows and the end of an English sword, Ed accepts the Act of Grace: marry into the aristocracy, leave the English ships alone, and live to sail another day. But who in their right mind would ever agree to marry the mad devil pirate Blackbeard?"

Worth every second of tiredness I felt after pulling an all nighter to finish reading.

It's Only Right by hexuponye

53k, explicit

"A modern AU based on Imagine Me & You, in which Edward is a florist who does the flowers for Stede's wedding."

mary gets to be a little silly sometimes too as a treat.

pliocene by unfortunatelyobsessed

75k, mature

""man, it's just ocean for miles.” Ed motions out to the waves, where there is no sign of any sort of ship, their small dinghy pulled far up on the sand. “I told you when the clouds look like seagulls you take fuckin' cover. Goddamn ocean mutinied me.”"

william golding wishes he did something this brilliant and significant when he wrote Lord of the Flies. the best deserted island story.

quite a career shift by @stedesparasol

157k, explicit

"Stede's been posting book reviews on Youtube for two months now. It's taken him that long to finally get a comment, and the person it comes from is rather unexpected."

rip stede you would've LOVED booktube. furious i can never really watch his content.

Semaphore by komodobits

124k, explicit

"Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try."

so good that i was properly and truly laughing and gasping and 'oh no-ing' out loud while i read it.

Such Joie de Vivre by @louciferish

94k, explicit

"Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land."

i (so so foolishly) avoided reading this for a while because i simply didn't think i was one for nanny aus. i was so, terribly wrong. don't make the same mistakes i did. showstopping. incredible stuff.

The Chains of Flowers are Fragile Things by @grandmastattoo

62k, explicit

"Stede can't see the shop he's inherited from his late father as anything other than a burden, another insult added to a life that's going nowhere fast. Then he meets the charismatic man who owns the tattoo studio next door, and Stede finds himself forced to consider the idea of home."

maybe i love tattoo shop owner ed fics, sue me. i love this stede and i love his embarrassing mistake tattoo.

The Love Experiment by karawrites

65k, mature

a married at first sight (aus) au. i didn't know i needed it until i read it.

Water/line by @the-gentleman-mermaid

60k, teen

"During a raid on a smuggler ship, Ed finds a merman named Stede locked in the hold."

So good that I would actually pay the author real person money to do a similar story but where Ed is the mermaid.

Where the Daylight Begins by @xoxoemynn

116k words, explicit

"Modern day AU slow burn featuring a pining Ed, a clueless Stede, found family, roughly a million animals, and a very magical house."

This one sort of gave me House on the Cerulean Sea vibes; it was so much fun and genuinely necessitates a proper use of the word whimsical.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Obligatory "not all shippers, and not everyone who likes these fics, ship and let ship, etc.," but ever since I started looking at steddyhands as a ship as being, often, a vehicle to punish Ed in some way so Izzy can be vindicated, I cannot stop seeing it.

Like, genuinely, I don't care if you like this ship. It's fine, it doesn't reflect on you as a person, whatever. But there is undeniably an overlap between steddyhands shippers and the portion of the fandom where Ed is seen as being a violent, abusive monster who needs to be punished, and once you start looking for it, it's hard to miss.

I've read a few steddyhands fics a while back (back not long after s1 aired, mostly), and pretty often the ones I enjoy the most are modern AUs where Izzy's basically an original character. I can't enjoy any fics where Izzy is shipped with Ed and Stede now, but even back then I remember being a bit put off because, invariably, there would be a major component of Ed having to learn that he "wronged" Izzy in some way. Usually, it would be related to Izzy having to "manage" Ed, clean up after him, etc.

And I don't read these fics anymore, but I hear about them, and I see the summaries on ao3. And especially after season 2, there's such a heavy component of Stede needing to "teach" Ed that he "mistreated" Izzy, that Ed needs to punished and learn his lesson and apologize.

You can ship whatever you want and write whatever you want; if I don't like it, I just won't read it. But I'll say that I really don't like how heavy this theme is, and I think it definitely contributes to how some circles of this fandom can feel so hostile to fans of color. If you're reading or writing about two white men needing to manage a brown man, teach him the error of his ways, and scold him for being mean to the poor innocent white guy, just maybe be a bit critical of that.

[arsenicflame]

episode 8 fix it where izzy does get shot, but it doesnt kill him- its on the left side after all! a gunshot does more damage than a sword, so he has a longer healing time ahead, and with him still learning how to live missing a leg, they all agree that its best he doesn't sail away with them, that itd be better if he stayed on land while he recovers

conveniently, he just so happens to know two men who are looking to start an inn on land! he can stay with them, help them complete repairs (god knows neither of them knows what theyre doing themselves) he can whittle little souvenirs on his sick bed; he can help moderate their ideas ("theres no point picking drapes yet stede, we don't have a fucking window") he can heal in peace.

maybe he could try being someone else other than the great izzy hands, maybe he could make something new here. no captains, no first mates, just izzy and ed and stede

[izzymarksthespot]

There's been an idea rattling around in my head, vaguely inspired by this post (can't find the original for the life of me): angsty Steddyhands/Stizzy/Gentlebeard soulmate au, where you cannot physically hurt your soulmate - as in your body simply won't let you.

Prepare yourself, this is a long one.

Izzy, increasingly irked and unsettled by Bonnet's influence on his captain, challanges him to a duel like in s1e8. Stede accepts, the duel commences - but as it goes on Izzy cannot shake the feeling of wrong wrong wrong which follows, making his movements sluggish, blows weaker and heartbeat fast and anxious.

Finally, he has Bonnet pinned - only when he tries to run the other man through with his sword, he can't do it. He freezes mid-thrust, muscles of his sword hand seizing, the blade of the rapier an inch away from the blonde's stomach. They stare at each other in shock, and soon commotion starts as the crew tries to see what exactly is going on, and did Izzy actually stab the captain? Ed hovers over them both in panic and confusion.

Izzy drops his sword at his captains prompting, and backs away with a "What the fuck did you do to me, you bastard?!" aimed at an equally flabbergasted Stede. While they bitch at each other, the crew wonder aloud what has happened and how odd it was that Izzy just froze (Izzy's never done that before!), and Lucius goes with a mocking "aww, Iggy actually likes the captain and doesn't want him hurt, how sweet!"

Buttons comes around then, takes in the scene, eyes Izzy with an unreadable expression, and goes "Nay, Mister Spriggs, more like cannae bring hisself to. I reckon 's only one reason fer it."

Everyone's like 🤨🤨 and Izzy's about to retort something scathing and awful, but suddenly he gets an inkling in the back of his head, a flash of a memory and words actually fail to come out of his mouth.

And Buttons just easily goes with "you cannae hurt yer soulmate, can ya?" and all hell breaks loose. Obviously everyone is laughing the idea off, cause come on, Stede and Izzy? There is no way, what an idiotic idea! Buttons, no more moonbathing for you, you're talking more nonsense than ever!

Both interested parties are strangely quiet though.

Frenchie - who's well informed on the soulmate matter, ofc - suggests they can simply test it out: all Stede and Izzy have to do is touch (skin to skin) to see if the soul marks appear.

Before either Stede or Izzy can reject that idea, it's Ed who does, there will be no fucking checking or touching; there's an aura of danger coming off of him in droves and his dark eyes are trained solely on Izzy.

Long story short, he throws Izzy off the ship (figuratively, just orders him to leave), Izzy's hurt and sells out Stede to the British (the only soulmate he has is Blackbeard and he wants him back), the whole shenanigans with act of grace still happen - Stede still leaves Ed and goes back to Bridgetown; and Ed spirals even harder in his absence because now he additionally thinks Stede left cause they're not soulmates (Stede actually could and did run him through with his sword, and if they were he wouldn't be able to, would he?)

He goes into the Kraken mode, taking most of his anger and hurt onto the person who is obviously responsible for this - Izzy.

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

okay picture if you will: wealthy businessman stede bonnet in a rivalry with the badminton brothers. through some series of events stede's next move is to buy up a big commercial building row along with all the businesses in it. the problem? one owner israel hands won't sell no matter how ridiculous stede makes his offer. the twist? his business is a strip club, the type of business which stede has tried his hardest to avoid ever since that one uncomfortable experience... (it wasn't the stripper's fault, she was quite polite about it but well, you know) and the driving steddyhands factor is israel's top performing employee who apparently brings in over half of their entire revenue: one edward teach. if stede has to take matters into his own hands to get what he wants he'll just have to start paying some regular visits to the (very male, which he didn't know was a thing) strip club

[apostatehamster]

Oh no! Another person's 2 cents on the OFMD finale situation!

Yes, because unfortunately my mind still hasn't settled and is in a state of disbelief over what happened, and I am trying to unravel all of this to make sense of it. Written from the perspective of a sad Izzy fan, so if you do not care to read about that or are simply tired of reading these mind pieces... well don't. And do not bother interacting.

I want to preface this by saying, I do believe Writers should be writing the story they think is right. It is impossible to please everyone so I prefer Author's sticking to their vision rather than bending to the loudest (in most cases, read: displeased) voices of the audience. However, I also think people are entitled to voice their displeasure over writing decisions in a constructive way. I don't condone hate towards authors, actors or anyone involved in the making of the show and if you feel angry enough to send hate or threats, take a walk and calm down instead of being a jerk. That being said, I watched many shows with decisions I did not agree on and few made me as angry & sad as this one, hence me trying to dismantle why.

False marketing, expectations and broken promises

Frankly I hadn't seen much advertising about the show before, most of it was fandom activity that praised the show as feelgood and comfort, with good queer representation. I got into it pretty late, so I can't tell what the show itself presented itself as, but to me it seemed like they fully embraced that image and encouraged the show to be perceived as such. It's a rom-com after all, many laughters and sappy feelings. A safe space-ship for outcasts, so to speak. We expected drama but also making-up and possibly more shenanigans. What we did not expect, was a rather prominently featured character dying as one got used to happening from other shows.

OFMD promised to be different, or at least that was my and many others' impression, and then it turned that around in the last 10 minutes of the finale. But more about that and tonal shifts later.

What baffled me most were the interviews hailing in at the start of season two. I've read articles about how season 2 was leaning into the Ed/Izzy/Stede triangle with David Jenkins saying these three "are on an arc together that’s pretty inseparable". I mean we had Izzy being called a jilted lover before, and in addition to Ed & Stede's love declaration, we also had Izzy declare he had love for Ed, and Ed as well saying He loved him, best he could. There was a lot of love, but it was complicated, and the article gave hope that this season would sort this out.

But after the finale, we got interviews that declared Izzy was a father/mentor figure to Ed, which is such a weird claim that is absolutely unfounded in the way the characters interacted with each other, as well as the fact that Izzy's death apparently was something planned from the beginning as an ending to his arc. And well, I find that death separates characters quite definitely.

I am not saying that Steddyhands was promised to us, gods no, but we were definitely given a chance at it happening, when in fact, the ending had already been written as the complete opposite.

Reception and cognitive dissonance

Every person is different and thus has different feelings and opinions. I've seen Izzy fans hating the finale obviously, I've seen Izzy fans who said they liked it. I've also seen people who weren't explicitly Izzy fans say, they did not like the finale, so really, opinions can go any way.

However what baffled me is Jenkins feeling he delivered a truly happy end. Personally, I've never watched a character die and thought "This makes me happy." I especially would never describe a character struggling through hardship, just to ultimately die as happy or beautiful. I can only imagine that the focus was on Ed and Stede, when a happy ending was mentioned, but Jenkins kept pointing out in the interviews, how Izzy was his favorite, which gave hope for a happy ending for Izzy as well. As much as I enjoy seeing my favorites go through hardships, I also prefer to keep them around by not dying. I especially do not build my favorite up to be a well fleshed out character with growth, just to reduce them back to a plot device for the main character.

I know this is all based upon the interviews, and less on the show, but when I read "And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con[...]?" my answer definitely wouldn't have been "kill his character off". Con O'Neill does a great job at playing emotional scenes, but we already had him act his heart out in the first three episodes. A last hurrah wasn't needed.

I am also trying to put myself in David Jenkins' shoes here, because I think he truly expected the last episode to be a happy ending, and a gift, just to be proven differently. I just wonder what went wrong, how one can read the room so completely wrong.

It wasn't malicious, but the fact that it was apparently meant to be a genuine attempt at offering a happy end makes it even worse.

Tonal shifts and established in-Show laws

It's an understatement to say that the tone of season 2 was decidedly more dramatic. To the point where I questioned myself if this was still allowed to be called a comedy show. I would have described season 1 as mostly slice-of-life, little adventures between the crew and the captains. People got hanged, fingers severed, people got stabbed, but you never felt the threat of actual death hanging over anyone's head, because everything was kept humorous. (Speaking of the non-baddies here. Calico Jack got a cannon ball to the head but with plausible deniability of his death & (apparently) an interview saying he could be brought back, if needed)

Enter season 2, which starts off with murder attempts, major wounds and a suicide attempt. Nothing was played off as a joke, and for that I am grateful because that would have been in poor taste, but the tone was noticeably different and darker. But it still wasn't 'realistic' by any standard. With no real doctor on board, Izzy should have died from his wounds and comatose Edward would have wasted away in the hidden cabin. Everyone came out (fucked up but) relatively fine.

The show goes back to the humorous tone with Anne & Mary who enjoy a good backstabbing and poisoning. We had our crew surrounded by death and a curse in the next episode, but there was any fear of them coming to harm, obviously. The crew gets boarded and tortured by Ned and his crew after that, but they are able to take it out and come away unscathed (some wounds aside). Oh no! Stede challenges Zheng Yi to a duel! Which we know means no one is allowed to interfere, until one of the duelants dies. But it's fine, Zheng Yi is just playing with her food. But watch out, a Cannonball flies towards Zheng Yi's head! Ah but she is fine, she escaped. The Swede pulled a Rasputin and got immune to poison without him even noticing! Look, even Auntie survived the explosion, badly wounded but she lives. Oh no! Izzy gets shot! But it's his left side, we established no vital organs are there. Roach and Stede are already on their way to get bandage- Wait they are back with no bandages, and Izzy he-

Oh, wait. He...died?

When watching season 2 I legitimately considered Izzy dying as an end result, because I am used to my favorite characters dying, frankly. But then I dismissed that thought because OFMD has proven again and again, that people do not die. Heck, Lucius was considered dead in the season 1 finale and he came back, albeit traumatized. But he lived to tell the tale.

Season 2 finale made it a point to leave no room for doubt that Izzy did indeed die. They dug him a grave, and they panned to his grave at the end to remind you, he is definitely dead. So, why did Izzy have to die in a world where our favorites can survive about anything? "Pirates die, that's just pirate life", okay but why was he specifically singled out to be the only pirate dying? In comparison to everyone else, it feels unjust, and it feels cruel towards the fans who felt safe in the knowledge that this was the one show where none of their favorites would die. And it feels like such a betrayal of the fans’ trust, who had hoped this show would do better.

I've seen a take along the lines of "Nowadays people expect the stories to be written explicitly for them, and then they get upset when it doesn't happen" and that take pissed me off enough to write this down. This isn't a case of entitled fans asking to change the story to be exactly what they want to be, there is fanfiction for that. No, this is fans upset that their favorite character got singled out by the narrative to be the one exception to the no dying rule. And I use the narrative loosely, because there was no ramification to the death that couldn't also have been established by the character staying alive and giving advice, so the death didn't even feel purposeful. And for a show that always stresses the "Talk it through as a crew" point, they did not care much for choosing talking it through as a solution.

I also heartily disagree that Izzy's arc was over and had no more stories to tell. I mean the guy followed Edward around for decades, I would have loved to hear more about their past.

I would have especially loved to hear more about their future, as two people who learned to let go of Blackbeard and became their own people again. Where exactly did the idea of that even come from, I don't know.

Pacing and Confusing decisions in the Final episode and the build-up into nothing

(Rambling alert!) 

Personally I didn't feel any pacing issues until episode 6. While I generally liked the episode, it felt crammed with both set-up of the baddie, fun-times, then appearance of baddie (and disappearance) and return to fun-times. The episode ended and I was literally perplexed that it was over, like we basically ran through that episode. But episode 8 took the cake.

Now I am well aware they had to cut corners, and the strike didn't make it easier either, and I wish we could have seen the result without these factors. But we got what we got now, and I have to judge based upon that, but I really would know how the final cut decision came to be.

I did like the beginning with Ed chilling as a fisherman, but in hindsight I wished they had cut that part a bit shorter to give more room for the final parts. We get a lot of Ricky dicking around the pirate republic, showing Jackie reluctantly bringing them drinks. Later on she finally decides to poison him. Why she didn't do so earlier, I have no idea, unless the show is trying to tell me The Swede had to build up enough poison tolerance within one episode to withstand the poison attempt, which would be ridiculous. Why the Swede was held as an emotional hostage, I don't know either. I don't want him dead but Jackie has many other husbands, the Swede being singled out was more to hurt the viewers than for Jackie imho.

We have Zheng Yi suffering through Stede's presence. Our queen is suffering through the loss of her whole crew and her aunt, while Stede unsympathetically offers that being a failure gets easier. I expected more compassion from a guy who treasures his own crew and also enjoyed the hospitality of Zheng Yi's ship, but okay. Being a dick for the sake of comedy, I suppose. "Thing's have a way of working out. At least for me" And Zheng Yi proves Stede right by killing the soldiers, and Stede claims that went just as planned. I am not sure what happened to the Stede who successfully avoided being backstabbed in episode 5 and defended his crew in episode 6 and actually seemed competent, just to go back to an ignorant fool, but hm.

Fisherman Ed returns, thinks Stede in danger, and recovers his leathers that somehow are still in the same place, after mindlessly killing everyone in his way. Whatever happened to not wanting to be a monster and not killing and running away from that, it doesn't matter anymore. The flashback of pop-pop tells him he needs to go back to what he is good at, and I guess... this is it??? The Kraken rises from the sea again. Will there be consequences for Ed's emotional state after that? Well, no. Not really. Or not in this season anyway.

Okay Ricky invites Izzy to a drink, he's quite obviously a Izzy fanboy. For what reason he took him out of prison, I don't know. He later says "Sad, I wanted to let you live", implying he had plans for Izzy. What those plans were, we will never know, Ricky never tells us. Izzy talks about what piracy means to him. "It's not about getting what you want" and I don't know if he means pirates generally robbing ships to get treasure, or of himself being perceived as a mastermind or being a captain, because he never inclined he wanted either. So, what a weird thing for him to say. "It's about belonging to something when the world has told you, you're nothing" is a beautiful line that makes me wish we had gotten at least some backstory to Izzy. Then we're shown a picture of the crew from season 1.... with Izzy in the background, quite obviously not belonging (yet). What an odd choice to cut into. You could have used something from season 2 that showed him actually belonging

Ed finds one of Stede's love letters, it's cute, but I am not sure why we needed that to somehow reinforce that Ed loves him. We already saw him worry for Stede and literally revert to his Blackbeard persona to set out and save him. He also didn't leave because he didn't love Stede or doubted Stede's love for Ed, but because he needed to find himself first to make it work. It's not a long scene but it took a bit of the momentum of the Kraken rising from the water from me.

Ed and Stede see each other again and we have a callback to the episode one opener. Which was also the moment where I slowly realized, death was in the cards for Izzy because that dream sequence meant his death. But no, this is OFMD, it'll be fine...

We're back in the cell, and our mates are trying to escape. Auntie is there! Very much alive, despite having been on an exploding ship. Who brought her there?? When was she brought there?? How long has she been there and why did no one bother to check the cloaked figure in the corner? NEVERMIND, Auntie is here and alive I suppose. Bleeding out and we've got no supplies to treat her, but she will walk it off just fine.

Captain trio congratulate themselves on beating a bunch of soldiers. Honestly impressive, outnumbered as they were. Mh, maybe they should get back to the crew tho...?

Auntie realizing she was harsh on Zheng Yi and admitting maybe she needs a different approach. I am seeing a parallel to Izzy later admitting his approach was wrong too. Except (and excuse the bitterness) Auntie gets to continue to "mentor" Zheng Yi.

We get a weird hard cut from "I don't do soft" to the talk between Izzy and Ricky. I really thought the talk had been talked, but some more insults get thrown at Ricky, and the deus ex machina happens as all prisoners are freed from prison, the captain trio arrives and all soldiers die of poisoning. Personally this was the moment where I had to slow blink in disbelief, because everything was happening so fast.

Stede talks about how they need a plan, and how a royal hostage could prove valuable. Another hard cut "SO, that's the plan". We do not hear the plan. We just gather from the following montage that it has to do with dressing up as English soldiers. We get a montage of everyone preparing for battle and dressing up, looking cool in slow motion. And, they did look hella cool, but there was so much buildup for them dressing up for the plan...without knowing what the plan even IS.

And then the plan apparently is.... just Izzy holding Ricky hostage? And the rest waits around and sees how it plays out? And they're just trusting Ricky to go along with their plan and say what they want him to say? Why was Izzy the one who had to hold Ricky hostage? The one person with a visible wooden leg? Not sure if peg-legs are an established pirate thing in this world, but the British seem to think so, because they look down at it. Why did no one check that Ricky had no weapons on him beforehand? And most importantly, where the fuck was Stede during this suicide plan? He is the one who planned it, yet he was nowhere around the group with Ricky, nor did he fight any Soldiers. He only reappears when everyone is running away. What the hell!! Where'd he fuck off to. Again, all this epic plan build up, for the barely existing plan to go up in shambles within 5 seconds, and then they all run. At this point they could have just left Ricky at the Inn and attempted to walk to the ship safely in disguise without ever drawing attention to the soldiers, and they would have had as much chance.

Ed asks Izzy if he is okay and I raise an eyebrow, A) because we as the viewers barely saw him get hit and B) Ed hasn't cared much about Izzy after Stede returns. But okay, we're stumbling back to the ship, surprisingly no one else gets shot.

Izzy is bleeding out on the ship, Stede and Roach run off to get bandages. "Bonnet is in charge, oh great I am fucked" is a true statement, considering Stede was in charge with the plan already and got Izzy to here. Later you hear footsteps approaching offscreen, which I guess were Stede and Roach. They just appear again, with no bandages and no comment. I don't want to get into detail how much I despise Izzy's parting words, and the message they send out, but Izzy throughout this season proved he wanted to live and got ready for living again, just to end up saying he wants to go here, and it's just so utterly wrong. This scene was presented as someone who was healed and now got to die amongst his loved ones, but he was not healed. He practically still believed he deserved what he got, and he died believing Ed did not need him and thus he was unnecessary. If he truly was healed, he would fight to live, if not for himself and his new found family, then for Ed who he still loves, but no. Okay maybe I did want to go into detail, but anyway, many have said it better than me already.

The crew who bonded with Izzy over the whole season stands mutely in the background, leaving the stage to Ed, who has barely cared about Izzy all season. Out of nothing I am supposed to believe Izzy means something to him, after Ed shot him down, discarded of him, happily mentioned to Frenchie that "But most importantly, no more Izzy" like Izzy had been the bane of his existence, the guy he didn't even have the balls to approach first to apologize but instead mocked Izzy when Izzy himself finally broke their silence, I am supposed to believe that Edward suddenly realizes Izzy's worth and that he deserves to be the one grieving, not leaving any space to the crew? I don't think so.

All season I was waiting for them to make up again, patiently, full of hope, but the remaining episodes got less and less. And I held out hope for them to bond over talks and teamwork, remembering how well they worked together before it turned sour, acknowledging that they could do better if they tried, but instead we got this. This is supposed to help Edward move on as Not Blackbeard, but Izzy had already encouraged Ed to not be Blackbeard, yet Ed came back deciding on his own to don his leather outfit again. This is such a back and forth, it's frustrating. They could have accomplished growth without a death, but I've already talked about that.

Also Izzy telling Ed has family now, because the crew loves him. Ed bonded exactly with one person outside of Stede, and that was Fang, who was once Blackbeard's crew anyway. Other than that Ed only hung back and did not give a shit about what the crew was doing, but sure they love him after the non-pology. Where were the scenes to back this claim up, it was utter nonsense.

Okay, we get a burial. No one says a thing, no one's got to say a thing about their unicorn. Everyone leaves, and "That's that then". Stede talks about Izzy, like he hasn't personally bonded with Izzy over the last episodes and like he was simply a guy Ed dragged along (the way season 1 Stede would have felt). Also, no acknowledgement that Stede's plan was what got Izzy killed whatsoever, no remorse.

Aye no time to be sad, we got a wedding now! It lasts less than a minute screen time, and I am still recovering from the emotional impact of a death scene + burial, maybe give me a minute so I can feel happy for LuPete? No? okay.

Stede and Ed decide to build an Inn, nothing either of them has experience in. Also the "family" Izzy promised Ed is sailing away, so that was for nothing as well. What happened to Stede wanting to be a pirate? What happened to Ed returning to being a pirate, because it's what he's good at? What exactly made them change opinions to leave their crew behind and start this? *lame hand gesture at Izzy's grave* This?? I am usually good at looking for clues and details and figuring stuff out in between the lines, but I am left clueless as to what inspired this.

I am 100% sure there were missing scenes that could have helped soften the blow of the death at least, but like this the episode feels jarringly badly patched together. There is no visible impact to the death that would explain the necessity to the narrative (and yes, we are in a story, not real life. Plot points happen because they bring the narrative along, and it didn't here) With everything established beforehand, it felt like the death got shoehorned in, simply because someone said "I want this character to be dead at the end of the season", and then a story was somehow built around this.

And of course people are upset about this, when I watched I thought it was a joke and I was waiting for the little wink telling me it's not what it seems. The theme I gathered from this season was "belonging", and to see the guy accepting that he belonged and deserved to be loved to be left behind and denied a chance to continue with the crew where he BELONGS, because he's dead and gone, is a very stupid choice.

The season had many unexplained and unresolved things that I chose to overlook because the show was still ongoing and I had hoped they would all work out in the end, but they didn't and this sours the whole experience.

Fandom

This has less to do with me unraveling the happenings of the show, but whatever.

I joined very late, a few weeks before season 2 aired. I was however vaguely aware that Izzy was controversial to the fandom and that fans got hate mail for liking the character who "broke the main couple apart". So going into the new season as someone who utterly loved Izzy in season 1, I was skeptical lol

But it was a nice experience. Season 2 showed parts of Izzy that I had already seen but in a way that made it clear to everyone that this guy has Emotional Layers TM and is capable of more than just being the guy throwing a hissy fit. Everyone could sympathize with him, people enjoyed seeing him, and I legit loved going through the tags of the gifsets and reading all the reactions.

Generally I loved seeing the reactions after every new episode, seeing how fandom came together to talk over what happened, and over what they enjoyed. I had expected a very split fandom but it seemed season 2 was somewhat gluing it together. Izzy was finally an "accepted" character and thus it was "okay" now to love him, now that he wasn't trying to break Ed/Stede apart either. The show was feeding fans too, I felt like I feasted every episode up until the finale happened.

And /then/ the finale happened and the illusion went away.

Up to then I thought this was a season for the Izzy fans, with the opener episode showing how ridiculous the take of "Izzy has to die for Ed/Stede to be happy" was in a mocking dream episode, I thought that was David Jenkins acknowledging the hate that has been sent in the direction of Izzy & his fans, and how it's Not That Easy. And then he proved Izzy was more than that.

And then he killed Izzy off, so Ed/Stede could be happy and we've come full circle again.

Of course Izzy fans were upset, because it felt like a final fuck you after a season full of promises that it would be okay, and of course people were voicing their displeasure and sadness over it. Some people were downright grieving the character, and I can tell you I Am People. I went through the 5 stages of grief, through bargaining and anger directly after the finale, sadness the whole day after, crying over it because it felt so unjust to me. And maybe these reactions seem extreme to you, but that does not mean that people aren't feeling awful about the finale, that it truly hurt them. And you do not get to mock people for feeling in pain. What do you gain from that? If you liked the finale, fine, everyone is different, but allow the people who were shaken by it to express their emotions. Processing emotions takes time, and as a part of this I wrote a goddamn essay to make peace. The least you could do is not be a dick.

Parting thoughts are that the final episode was both a product of unfortunate cuts in screen time, and a writer who didn't expect the effect it would have on the audience.

I am not hating on David Jenkins, I loved every other episode of the season and eagerly anticipated the next one, but I am so incredibly sad that one botched finale broke my trust into the show, soured my love for the previous episodes with the knowledge of what it all built up to, and left the fandom back in shambles.

So long, and be kind to each other.

[bougiebutchbinch]

thinking again about Steddyhands where Izzy is a really fucking bad sub who has never read The New Bottoming Book

He never ever safewords because he sees himself as the replaceable third wheel in their relationship. The prospect (fuelled only by his own insecurities) of Stede and Ed deciding he's too boring and going off together without him is WAY worse than anything they could do in a scene. He's so used to pushing himself beyond his own limits, he no longer can really tell where they are, and just dissociates during sex (not in a fun subspace way). He pretends to hate aftercare and prefer doing stuff by himself post-scene, so Ed and Stede won't realise how fucked up he gets in the drop and blame themselves. We're talking the full trying-to-micromanage-the-emotions-of-people-he-cares-about-by-making-choices-for-them-at-the-expense-of-himself character flaw.

Meanwhile Ed and Stede are like. 'He always begs for more and says we can fuck him harder but like. We have limits too? We want to satisfy him, but hurting him so much is kinda making us upset and uncomfortable :c And we want to give aftercare! Obviously we have conflicting needs and this relationship isn't going to work."

So, after much miserable discussion (because they genuinely do like the little fucker) they tell Izzy their sexual relationship isn't working out due to simple incompatibility.

Izzy, pathetic affection-starved dog-man that he is, snaps. He starts ugly-crying and yelling that he does SO MUCH for them and they NEVER APPRECIATE IT and HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE THE STUFF THEY DO TOGETHER BUT HE DOES IT FOR THEm BECAUSE THEY LIKE IT and it's STILL NOT ENOUGH FOR THEM TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM, it's NEVER ENOUGH, so SURE, they can just break up, FINE, drop him off at the next port and they'll never see him again -

Stede and Ed are just like. Dude. Dude, what the fuck? What do you mean you've never liked the stuff we do to you??? Buddy...

Anyway, it ends with Stede resolving to actually reassure Izzy more that he's not gonna get dumped on a whim, Ed crying in the corner because he fucked up and hurt Izzy again (although....... this time, it's absolutely caused by miscommunication on Izzy's part as well), and Izzy getting a stern talk from Lucius on the subject of 'it's kinda cruel to not tell your doms when you want to stop, because they genuinely care for you and want it to be good for you, and consent for that is really important on both sides'

To which Izzy falls down the '...wait, they actually care for me?' -> 'oh fuck I fucked up again' -> 'they would be better off without me' pipeline in 0.5 seconds flat and makes plans to sneak sadly off the ship at the next port

Obviously, Lucius is sat up waiting for him the night they dock, perched on a barrel, arms crossed and tapping his foot. The moment he sees Izzy skulking for the gangplank with his ditty bag over his shoulder, he yells 'BITCH DID YOU LISTEN TO A WORD I SAID??? Get the fuck BACK in that bedroom and TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIENDS before I HOGTIE YOU and drag you back in there myself!'

And Izzy is so Shooketh he can't even say 'I'd like to see you fucking try'

And then there's lots of teary resolutions from all of them to do better and communicate more

Suffice to say, the first time Izzy actually uses his safeword Stede and Ed are DELIGHTED and just SHOWER him with love and praise

[funky-little-archivist]

Okay besties listen to me right now. Here’s how steddyhands can still win (real and true)

Stede and Ed clearly love each other very much, but they just can’t seem to stop fighting. They can’t seem to get on quite the same page, and this is a problem they’ve had from the start. They both want different things at the end of the day, and they just haven’t been able to reconcile that issue. Ed wants to explore non pirate life, which he’s never really had a chance to do, while Stede wants to explore pirate life for the exact same reason. I can’t really point at either of them and say that either of these things are wrong or they’re being intentionally malicious with each other. I also can’t point at the writers and complain about them stringing us along when all we want is for gentlebeard to be happy because this feels like very natural progression for both of them. As I said, they’ve been heading in this direction from the very start of the show.

So you know what I think they need? A stabilizing force. An anchor. A mediator. These are two whim-proned people who need someone to keep them grounded. And who’s sitting right there waiting for the chance to do exactly that? Izzy.

All season, apart from the parts where he was mourning blackbeard and the loss of his leg, izzy has been doing pretty much exactly that for both of them. Yes last season izzy was pretty much nothing but toxic for Ed, encouraging the worst parts of him. But he’s since come to regret that and was actively the one that stopped his downwards spiral. And he’s been coaching Stede, getting to know him better and teaching him how to pirate properly. This season izzy has really been encouraging both of them towards the goals they had at the start of season 1, in a way, making them the versions of themselves they want to be. But it does seem like he doesn’t intend for Stede to go off the deep end like Ed did either, as izzy discouraged him getting into the bar fight and kept trying to make him back down. I don’t think season 1 izzy would have ever done that for Ed. He’d have wanted blackbeard to defend his reputation. I think izzy wants them to be better, and as he said he actively approves of and encourages Stede and Ed’s relationship. He knows that they’re good for each other, and he doesn’t necessarily want to see them break up. But he also wants them to be the best versions of themselves.

And I’m honestly starting to think that’s what they need. As I said, they need a calming force, because both of them are very active passionate energies in their own way. But here’s the thing, I could be crazy but I’m actually starting to suspect maybe there’s a chance the show is going in this direction as well? I mean I could be reading too much into it, and listen I’ll be the last to put faith into this kind of theorizing again. But listen

How could it possibly not have been intentional to have izzy serenade Ed and stede’s first time together? It could have been literally anyone. It could have been frenchie, we’ve seen him sing before. But no, it was izzy, he got glammed up, showing his immense emotional growth and maturity compared to the first season, and had him practically sing his blessings for their relationship. And yes, maybe that’s all it was meant to symbolize, that izzy approves now and has moved on. Except he so clearly hasn’t moved on (we all saw that heart eyes stare he gave Ed in man on fire) and for me it’s the fact that he actually played an active part in their scene together, at least for the audience. He set the mood guys. In a sort of metatextual way, izzy was part of Ed and stede’s love scene.

And then there’s the fact that the show has been exploring non traditional non monogamist relationships for the entire season. I mean, already in season 1 we had Lucius telling izzy that they don’t get jealous when izzy tried to use that against him, but now we have olu and Jim actively celebrating each other’s relationships with other people despite still sort of being in some kind on non platonic relationship (shown by olu calling Jim babe during the safe space stand still scene). Olu, Jim and Archie sort of formed a straight up throuple? And then olu and zheng almost invited Jim and Archie to? Share a room with them?? Maybe? Whatever the case, it’s all fluid. And that’s okay! This type of relationship fluidity has been so normalized on the show, I don’t really see a reason for them to get precious about Stede and Ed being the only exclusive couple. At it makes sense, sexual fluidity has always been an integral part of the queer community and it’s so refreshing to see it represented here realistically. (Not to say that monogamy isn’t also accepted and valid in queer spaces but many shows have and will continue to represent that. It’s nice to see a representation of the less traditional, less “sanitized” side of queerness.) (edit: AND LET’S NOT FORGET SPANISH JACKIE! hell she was doing it before anyone else)

And hey as a bisexual myself I understand not everyone will like this allusion but I did see someone say that izzy is quite literally Ed and stede’s unicorn lmao. So. there’s that.

And not that this would be a perfect solution to all their problems either. I don’t want izzy to just continue to play custodian to Ed’s problems and add stede’s to that as well, not to mention that izzy and Ed have SO much work to do to fix their mess of a relationship. But I just think maybe all three of them can help balance each other out, mediate each side of the triangle. The dynamic would just be so satisfyingly perfect, and hey, a stool can’t hold up anything with just two legs, but with three it is stable.

Anyway, basically I’m starting to see it guys and maybe I’m crazy but maybe there’s actually a chance here. Again, I’m by no means saying this is 100% going to happen, and most likely I’m seeing things they didn’t intend. But from interviews from David jenkins and the cast, to subtext in the show, I think maybe there’s a non zero chance. Either way, I cannot wait to see what this show has in store for us in the last three episodes.