#starting so late tonight lmao
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All right. We left off with Rakha having completed the ordeal of helping Shadowheart find her parents and (rather traumatically) finally disconnect herself from Shar's embrace.
Shadowheart's not really having what would would call a good night.
"My parents. I saw them, spoke to them... and let them go. It's... it's more than I can take just now. Give me a night to try and get my head together."
Rakha has no parents that she can recall - but she knows what it is to be ripped from connection with a god (and frankly, this whole experience has been more than a little messy for her too). So they're making fast tracks back to camp; the only other thing in the Chamber of Loss is the memory-sucking mirror, which Rakha definitely would not touch with a ten-foot pole.
-----
She and Shadowheart had another rather interesting little conversation about memories afterwards in camp.
"That little hideaway that we found in cloister... it almost felt like I'd found a piece of my childhood. A childhood I don't truly remember. But remember it or not, I felt right at home there, surrounded by books and night orchids."
"Want to go and spend some more time there?"
"Don't tempt me. I might find it hard to leave. Well, can you imagine what it would have been like, growing up in that place? Endless training, no privacy, facing scorn wherever I looked... I can very easily imagine I needed somewhere to escape to, if I was to survive. Nocturne and I must have come there a lot. We probably had plenty we wanted to hide from. Anyway, I think that little hideaway helped shape who I am, as much as any sermon or training did. Funny, the things that influence you..."
"What about the memories that were taken from you?"
"Most are lost forever. Some may creep back into my mind, if I encounter anything that helps clear the fog... then there's what Shar did restore to me. Memories of pain, suffering. Both my own and what I inflicted. It's overwhelming - like a lifetime's worth of nightmares unleashed all at once upon waking. I can barely untangle one moment from another - not that I even want to. I just know that my heart sinks if I let my thoughts wander to them..."
"They'll fade with time. They always do."
"Perhaps. But in the meanwhile, I'll just have to find a way to live with them."
"What about us? Do you still remember all we've been through?"
"Of course. From the first time I laid eyes on you, right until now. That's all safe. I wouldn't surrender even a moment of it."
-----
Rakha thinks about this conversation for a long time afterwards. She and Shadowheart haven't been tremendously close, but this is something they share - the lost memories, the confused sense of identity that results.
And for perhaps the first time, Rakha finds herself able to provide some sense of informed advice. She knows about the flashes of lost memories, brutal memories - and she knows that they drift away again just as sharply as they came. It feels... strangely good, being able to share an experience and provide her insight, limited and fragmented as it might be.
And Shadowheart's words in return... From the first time I laid eyes on you, right until now. That's all safe. I wouldn't surrender even a moment of it.
Why not, she wants to ask. Surely there are parts of knowing her that would be worth forgetting. Certainly there are parts of the last few months that she would like to forget.
But Shadowheart seems sincere. She means what she says. Like Mol shouting across the shadow-dessicated courtyard outside of Last Light - I'd just about trust her with my life. Somehow, even with all the broken parts of her... she still keeps managing to leave a mark on people, and sometimes it's even a good one.
#bjk plays bg3 durge#rakha the dark urge#starting so late tonight lmao#i'm so sloooooow#gonna get a little bit done tonight at least
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Tonight's playthrough of veilguard has been a fuckin fever dream I love these idiots so much
#started a romance!!!#SMOOCHED THE NECROMANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#killed two high dragons letsgoooooooo#hugged poor sweet bellara after seeing [redacted]#also walking into bellaras room while shes writing a romance novel GODS shes so cuteeee#had dinner with taash (they look so much happier in mid/late game)#SPEAKING OF!!!! OTHER COMPANIONS STARTING TO DATE EACH OTHER???!???!??!#FUCKING DAVRIN MAKING SMUTTY COMMENTS ABOUT MY NECROMANCER EXCUSE YOU#i diiiieeeeddd like SIR EXCUSE YOU IM RIGHT HERE#its always so fun hearing squad members comment on romances#BUT ALSO: UNCALLED FOR DAVRIN#i took something like 41 screenshots tonight lmao#AND figured out my obs issues#so i can record certain cutscenes :3#i wanna make a few gifsets of a couple scenes#anyways its 5am time for sleeps#(my sleep schedules already been borked these past few days so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)#dragon age#da4#datv#da:tv#veilguard#savrin#savrin de riva#rook#emmrich#emmrich volkarin#emmrook#no spoilers#just me gushing about my darling idiots
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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Focalin 20 mg review: Eepy. Thirsty. Head hurts. But no longer tempted to get a good grade on the C-SSRS 😌☝️
#about the good grade thing iykyk lmao#sillyposting#adhd#I’m chill again at least#took a FAT nap#I have a feeling tomorrow is actually going to be productive. this was the same pattern with starting the 10 mg. so I’m tentatively hoping#but I think I might manage to get a bit done tonight too as it doesn’t sound TOO bad#I’m also starting therapy with a new therapist on Monday that my NP recommended#which I begrudgingly agree might be helpful esp if he understands this kind of thing and doesn’t just tell me to try harder#like all my other therapists in the past lmao#we’ll see#the one thing I will say I’m proud of with all this is that I’ve put on my big girl pants and I’ve been actually asking for help#despite the shame#instead of crashing and burning on my own like usual#my professors and NP have all been so kind and understanding (I want to throttle them for it) but at least it works in my favor#FOR NOW (I do NOT trust this stable mood yet lol) I have some hope#anyway enough monologuing#back to memeing for a bit before attempting to work on a project#thanks for coming to my ted talk#just wanted to update y’all since I have been unhinged on main lately#thanks for the support y’all have given me I really appreciate it
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I feel like a solid third of my personal posts lately have mentioned lao gan ma but god the return of good chili oil in my daily life has made it so much better
#I have to order it online unfortunately bc nobody around me sells it. so I got an extra big jar the last time. and man#unlimited delicious life hack lmao#I was tired tonight and I started dinner late so I didn't want to take the time to make sauce for my fried rice#so I just dumped in a whole bunch of soy sauce and lao gan ma#and you know what? still fucking solid#I've been putting a little on my leftover pizza#also great#and of course there's the popcorn#10/10 life improvement genuinely.#nobody has my back like the massive jar of chili crisp#invasion of the frogs
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THE IPOD IS WORKING
I REPEAT
THE IPOD
IS WORKING
#OKAY CONTEXT A FEW MONTHS AGO I BOUGHT AN IPOD CLASSIC‚ THE A1238 MODEL FROM 2007 TO BE EXACT#ON THE FLEA MARKET FOR THREE EUROS#THIS BAD BABY IS CAPABLE OF STORING EIGHTY GIGS OF MUSIC ON IT#TROUBLE IS‚ I WAS IN TOO MUCH SHIT TO GO LOOKING FOR A CABLE I COULD ATTEMPT TO CHARGE IT WITH#(the people at the flea market in my hometown are usually very honest about whether or not a piece of tech is working but i'll always have#my doubts until i see for myself)#TODAY I FINALLY MANAGED TO BRING MYSELF TO GO TO MY FAVORITE TECH STORE AND AFTER SOME DIGGING THEY ACTUALLY FOUND A 30-PIN CABLE#(it took them a while because the younger of the two dudes who were in the shift didn't exactly know what he was looking for. he brought a#package to the older guy and he said ''that's a samsung cable.'' in his defense‚ that cable and the actual 30-pin are incredibly similar in#shape so i don't blame him lmao‚ it was an honest mistake)#and i plugged that bad boy in tonight and NOT ONLY IS IT GIVING SIGNS OF LIFE (CHARGING)‚ IT SENT ME RIGHT TO THE MENU SCREEN AS SOON AS IT#GOT TO A CERTAIN PERCENTAGE!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#NOW I FINALLY HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO GO THROUGH MY ENTIRE YOUTUBE DOC AND EXTRACT EVERY SINGLE SONG I'VE LISTENED TO IN THE PAST THREE YEAR#(that's as far as they date the watch history logs‚ sadly - they start deleting them after some point so everything before late 2020 is los#to time‚ but fortunately enough there is PLENTY left!)#CAN I GET A HELLLLLL YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#logs#I AM IMMEASURABLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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do you ever hear the phrase "I was so scared of wasting a day that I nearly wasted my life" and have it haunt you for a month
there are so many times I've felt like I simply lost years, and you'll finally do something and realize you spent six months saying "I should do that soon" without doing anything or "I should get back to that" each day for months on end
#this post is primarily about a mix of gender and writing stuff#but there's also a lot recently where I've felt like I came to thinking when did it become too late to do anything#I spent the last 8 months unsure what was happening with hrt treatment and it took 10 minutes to get the next process to start happening#instead of waiting unsure#(to be fair my doctor was just On Leave for 4 of those months but still)#and likewise it has been six months since I properly worked on my novel and it kills me inside not doing so#but it's also about like#idk missing people that just kind of drift away and u never really noticed when it just kind of happened and suddenly its been forever#it is a Rough Melancholy Evening#and while this is also celebrating the fact I did get the hrt ball rolling again#and trying to really pump myself up to return to The Shape of a Lie to finish a shareable draft with my friends#I think I spent a lot of July just kind of mourning many months of these things being on standby because I was afraid of wasting a day#and wasted half a year again#anyway love u guys I had a little bit to drink at a work party tonight and it made me sad and reflective lmao <3
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justttttt as i predicted, the new girl finally flaked out completely 🙃
#and on a day when i have SO MUCH SHIT TO DO#i literally had everything scheduled for today that i couldn’t do during the week bc of work#like#i can’t cancel any of this i need to get it done#and i hate to do that to my client but brooo if she fucking listened to me in the first place#and don’t give her 20 million chances#we wouldn’t be in this situation 😭#also i have my date tonight and i am NOT canceling that#i’m sick of having to cancel shit bc of other people’s incompetence fr#i have a fucking life i have things to do just like everyone else#haven’t answered any of my clients calls or texts bc i’m so fucking annoyed lmao goddd#why does no one EVER LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THIS SHIT#i knew she wasn’t going to fucking work out i KNEW there were gonna be problems#the minute she started demanding money and showing up over an hour late bc she was drunk af#like no it’s not my goddamn fault you kept giving her chance after chance#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#jfc idk wtf is up with the world or the ppl in it but it’s such a goddamn mess fr
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yall should talk to me about kip and orange im just saying
#i need takes. all big and small and galaxy brains and everything in between#pls. doesnt need to be shippy but can also be im open to everything lmao#my brain is empty im very tired rn its starting to get late im socially drained no i wont be watching botb tonight i will literally die#(also kip wont be there hes literally home rn so that isnt going anywhere either. i hope he at least tweets his support to clementine 😔)#anyways yeah someone talk to me about things hello hi#night is an absolute mess on main
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don't know how to describe it without metaphors. audhd feels like I have 10 strings hooked into my body pulling me in opposite directions and leaning towards one string to try and "fix" that problem (cooking, cleaning, classwork, etc) just makes the other strings pull tighter and hurt more. this point of this whole post is to explain that when I see someone older than me who also struggles with exactly the same things to the same extent that I do, it makes a couple of those strings loosen and stop pulling. not forever, because they always start pulling again, but having the expectation lifted of needing to have a "normal functioning life" by age whatever is so nice. everything still hurts but for now at least that part of my brain can rest.
#i understand how the reverse can seem too#but idk. its always been such a weight off my shoulders#probably in part for selfish reasons but it helps me like. slow down#like i cannot solve all of my problems tonight. i probably can't even solve them in the next 20 years#so i can slow down. other people are alive like this. other people make their lives work like this. i can do it too#i need to be medicated so fucking badly but i can't until im off my parents health insurance#and even then im so scared it'll make my autism symptoms harder for me to deal with and ill like. lose my job or something#but i can't fucking live like this so idk what to do! lmao!#ive been trying to pay closer attention to my anxiety and stress lately so i can pinpoint causes and like. try to stop them#but all ive learned is that i am never Not stressed.#if my room is cleaned im not eating well. if im exercising well im not cleaning well.#if im on top of classwork im not taking care of myself at all. etc etc#it is always a push and pull. i can't just solve these problems#because i have to clean well and eat well and exercise often and sleep well and cook often and socialize often and work hard and save money#and and and#im always not doing something to make room for something else and bc of that i will ALWAYS have those strings pulling me so tightly it hurts#i know in my head how i can loosen the strings but that all comes at the expense of living like a ''normal'' person#i will have a dirty house. i will have lots of canned and frozen foods. i will leave my house for work only.#im so tired my bones hurt. my strings are tight again and classes are starting again soon and my room is a mess and i ate like shit today#and i havent excersized in a while and im not showering as often as i should and im drinking too much and im sleeping too much#im so tired#vent#sorry#i feel like i need to curl up and die. like my body is sending some signal that there isn't much more i can fucking take#and that this continuous pushing and struggling and picking up the pieces is worthless#i feel like that blood robot. im old and rusted and slowing down and i have achieved nothing#i will die having not achieved anything and i will be struggling until my very last second#i shouldn't have been the twin that survived. they would have been so much better than this
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#im gonna cry i went thru my back injury log diary journal note thing#i wrote out the important parts so i have a paper version with me for my appointment w the back specialist tomorrow#and im just so fucking scared man i dont want to have my back pressed on its gonna hurt so fucking badly getting prodded tmr#especially after the long car ride there#and i really dont want to be awake rn im so fucking scared but i still have to do my pt exercises tonight but like#fuck im scared i have no idea what the treatment is gonna be or if the doctor is gonna be mean#ive started seeing just a tiny bit of improvement over the last week but its so fucking marginal but its like#its a fact of life that im gonna hurt after my appointment#like hshahdjshks im panicking now lol fuck i dont want to do this#ive been waiting basically since MAY.#i dont want to be sober rn man i cant take anxiety pills this late bc i need sleeping meds more but im so fucking scared#i just wanna be able to sleep and not think about appointments#its fucking cold in my room too so all my whole body hurts rn i wanna get in bed but i HAVE to do the pt exercises#especially bc of the slight improvement like okay maybe the small exercises were what i needed#sucks that it takes an hour to do them all like im fucking freezing rn#just fuckk man#its been months of trauma so tomorrow is important and i dont want the months of waiting to be for nothing#im still in a lot of fucking pain rn too ofc but like im scared more rn#when am i gonna be able to relax#like genuinely relax#its like a whole struggle just to do the functions that keep me alive#im so fucking tired of everything#i know im prob gonna start panicking in the doctors office and not be able to voice my words#its so fucking hard to talk about how traumatic this whole year has been for me#it started w endo in january 2nd and then everything else after sucked lmao like ugh fuck theres too much weighing on the appointment tmr#delete later / /#personal / /#ShitPost.exe#medical / /
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I wanna play a game but I'm so tired jddjkdkfkfk and I work closing today. I guess I'll nap for a bit and see. I don't have to leave for like 3 hours, so maybe an hour long nap will help and I can play a game or draw
#i'm gonna stay up a little bit tonight and do stuff since i dont work tomorrow#but i do have a full day of stuff planned soooo Im gonna be so tired#tomorrow im gonna try to go to be around 9 or 10#then on Sunday I'm gonna stay up late and draw because i havebt done any art this week#it feels like its driving me insane#i have to choose between games and drawing and games are easier to start abd stop#they also take less brain power so if im tired theyre easier#but i wanna draw#i wanna draw slow damage fanart sooooo bad rn#excuse the ramblibg in the tags lmao#personal
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (excited, genuine)
#had staff party for work tonight#gonna preface this with none of us are normal when it comes to are work environment lol its chaos and we're hr nightmares (affectionate)#anyways confessed feelings to a coworker after heavy flirting between us#its been a flirty thing for a while but like. started as silly friends thing ans evolved into ''oh. oh I have feelings for them.''#and they return them????#I did say like. we take this at your pace. bc while we are both polyam and stuff#they wanna talk w their husband first n stuff#(we've all been to a sex/kink club together lmao)#but GOD I wish theyd realize how PRECIOUS they are inside and out#so good. so adorable. pretty. handsome. thoughtful. caring. feral. good. kind. protective. considerate.#(and super cute when flustered :3€ hehe)#also for lulz they never expected me to be a flirt/tease but by gods when I wanna flirt I FUCKIN CAN it is NOT subtle#it is OBVIOUS it is OVERT#its a semi-recent thing but hehehehehheeheheheheheheheh#and our assistant manager was like ''YIPEE also ur gay ♡ ily''#we love her shes gr8 we say the staff at our store is a cult who worships the assistant manager lmao#ANYHOO night night its almost 6 am ive had a bunch of alcohol and I need to sleep bc Im seeing a movie w Sad--tree later today lmao#oops I didnt mean to be out this late 😅#MongoosePosting.txt
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Sit Still。𖦹°‧
—gif credit: not mine!! i can't remember where i found it but if i can find it again or the owner comments, ill add their username <3
logan howlett x fem!reader
cw: cockwarming (sorta?), innocence kink, p in v, logan attempts to teach reader how to ride.
a/n: apologies for this being so short but chapter two of bewitched should be out friday or saturday! also i'll be responding to some requests soon too in case i spam lmao
"a-are you sure 'bout this, lo?"
your timid voice echos around the bedroom, capturing logan's attention again. he's been dreaming for months of this sight in front of him; you sitting pretty in his lap, only wearing a pink lacy bra and a pair of matching panties.
"you want me to make you feel good, right sweetheart?"
a small sigh escapes you as you attempt to grind onto him again. logan places his large hands on your waist to stop you from wiggling around. he knows you can't help it, you're still new to this after all.
it started a month ago when you and logan were left alone together in the mansion. everyone was on a field trip a couple hours away. you were recovering from a cold and logan simply didn't want to chaperone. instead, he offered to stay back with you.
late one evening, he came in to check on you and ask if there was anything you needed. that's when you asked him the question that nearly killed him, 'will you take my virginity?' you didn't see a problem with it. the two of you weren't strangers, you trusted logan, and he obviously has experience since he's much older than you.
ever since that night, you two have been going at it like rabbits. tonight, logan promised to help you get used to being on top. more importantly, training you to take him from this angle.
"c'mon, baby..." he coos with one hand on your hip and the other holding a cigar to his lips. "do it just like i told ya'."
swiftly, logan removes the rest of the material between the two of you before resting back against the mattress. anxiously, you line him up to your entrance and slowly sink down until you're sat fully on his lap again.
"nice 'n slow for me, sweetheart. that's it, stay still..." logan hums, lost in your tight, wet heat. he can hear every little noise coming from your lips. "atta girl."
it's a struggle to take all of him at once. you can feel him deep in your gut, nudging that sweet spot inside of you. logan can tell that your nerves are still tangled in knots, practically strangling his cock.
"lo, i c-can't do it." you huff, upset at yourself. "too full to move."
"poor fuckin' baby." logan teases with faux sympathy. "how 'bout we try something else for now?"
too caught up with the soft grind of his hips, you nod your head mindlessly to his proposal. logan brings his thumb to his lips, replacing the cigar which is now back on the nightstand. he sits up, making you whimper as he does so. you lean forward to capture his lips with your own, whispering how badly you needed him to just fuck you himself. instead, logan's got something else in mind.
"ah!" you gasp as he starts to rub your button with the wet pad of thumb. "f-fuck, right there..."
the soft rocking of your hips makes your toes curl and fingers pull at his little kitten tuffs. logan's mouth moves south to your chest. one nipple in his mouth then the other until both are swollen and kiss bitten. vibrations pour from his mouth as he groans at the tight squeezing of your cunt around his girth.
"ah-ah." he tsks, hand coming up to grip your jaw, pinching your cheeks together gently. "what did i say 'bout staying still?"
"s-sorry, lo.." you whimper voice muffled by your squished pouty lips.
despite having incredible stamina, logan was ready to release just from looking at your pretty face. he never been this close to cumming so soon but feeling you tense around him and wiggle in his lap made his head spin. all of this movement from only his thumb drawing circles.
"christ..." he grunts in your ear, moving faster now and with more pressure. "you're tryin' a kill me, sweetheart."
all logan gets in response is incoherent babbles of 'don't stop' and 'please, please, please'. he knows you are close when you claw at his back and start to bounce on him little by little, just enough to make you see stars. it all feels too much yet not enough at the same time. logan's circles start to get sloppy as he approaches his high too.
"l-logan!" you squeal, heavy eyes trying to focus on his face. "wanna feel you..."
in a rush, logan picks up the pace, torturing your button with his thumb. a loud moan falls from your lips, trying to wiggle out of logan's grip as your orgasm washes over you with intense euphoria. logan growls in your neck from your tight fucking grip on his cock, pumping his load inside of your walls. some of it spilling out of you and drenching the sheets.
the two of you catch your breath in silence for a moment. your nails scratch his scalp softly while logan pulls you down to kiss him. after a second, you move back, smiling down at him in a way that makes him harden again.
"thought you were gonna show me how to ride?" you tease.
logan shoots you a cocky eyebrow raise before leaning back again, one hand on your hip and the other returning to his cigar on the night stand.
"alright, baby..." he chuckles, re-lighting the cigar and paying little attention to the roll of your hips. "let me see what you got."
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine angst#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan wolverine#old man logan#wolverine fluff#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#the wolverine#x men#x men wolverine#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#marvel mcu#hugh jackman#old man!logan#old man logan x reader
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HAUNTED BY YOU──FATHER MAYHEW
part two!!!!!!!!
─ summary | father mayhew is being tormented by dreams of a worshiper at the church, who appears both angelic and temptingly sinful in his visions. as the dreams grow more intense, he begins to wonder if they’re a sign from above or a test of his faith. when you confront him, father mayhew must choose between maintaining his distance or giving in to the passion that’s been haunting him
─ pairing | father charlie mayhew x fem!reader
─ warnings | nsfw under the cut! mdni! wet dreams (strong start! i know!), description of self-pleasuring, oral (m!receiving), heavy degradation,hair-pulling, just overall rough sex, orgasm denial
─ ev's notes | like everyone and their damn mom, i've fell under nicholas's damn curse and i just had to come back to tumblr for this very self-indulgent fic. this is just porn with a lot plot LMAOOO. BUTTTTT my requests are open if you wanna send anything in! (please do btw i'm obsessed w nicholas LMAO)
ok love u bye!!! pls send me requests!!!!!!
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my masterlist!
Father Charlie had always believed in the purity of dreams.
They were, in his mind, the unfiltered whispers of God—or at least, they had been. Lately, those whispers had been replaced by something far more sinful, and the dreams that used to bring him peace now left him gasping for air, tangled in sheets soaked with guilt and lust.
It started a few weeks ago, innocently enough.
You—a devout presence in the church, never missing a Sunday mass—had always caught his eye, but only in the way a shepherd might glance over his flock. He admired the way they knelt at the altar, the reverence in your bowed head, the delicate movements as you lit a candle in prayer. He told himself it was only admiration. But then the dreams began.
At first, they were fleeting images: your hands, fingers brushing over rosary beads, your doe eyes glancing up at him, lingering just a moment too long. He could dismiss them as nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him, the remnants of a long day.
But the dreams grew more vivid, more demanding. He saw you standing in the chapel late at night, a halo of moonlight casting a soft glow over your features, and when you turned to him, your gaze held something more than devotion. Something in between desperation and lust, something that was pure filth.
Charlie would wake in the dead of night, his chest tight with guilt and desire. He’d slip out of bed and kneel before the small wooden cross in his room, praying for guidance, praying for strength. But no matter how many Hail Marys he whispered into the darkness, the dreams persisted.
And now, they were getting worse.
Tonight, the dream came again, but this time, it was sharper—too real. You stood before him, just as you did every Sunday, but there was no congregation. Just the two of you, alone in the quiet sanctity of the church. He could hear your breathing, could feel the weight of your presence as they stepped closer, your fingers grazing over his. He swallowed hard, his throat tightening as they looked up at him with eyes that seemed to hold the weight of eternity.
"Father," you whispered, your voice soft but filled with something dangerous, something that made the blood in his veins run hot.
He wanted to look away, wanted to pull his hand back, but he couldn’t. Instead, he stood frozen, his heart pounding in his chest as you moved closer, so close now that he could feel the warmth of your breath on his skin. You reached up, their fingers brushing lightly across his cheek, and he felt a shudder pass through him—half desire, half longing.
"Why do you run from this?" you asked, your voice a low murmur that echoed in the stillness of the church. "Why do you run from me?"
He swallowed thickly, words catching in his throat as he tried to speak. "This isn’t… I can’t…"
But before he could finish, you pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him with a touch so gentle it felt like a caress. "You don’t have to speak," you whispered. "You already know the answer."
With that, you kissed him—soft at first, almost testing, as if waiting for him to push you away.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he felt himself melting into the kiss, his resolve crumbling as you deepened it, your hands sliding over his chest, pushing aside the fabric of his cassock. The feel of their touch was electric, every nerve in his body alive with sensation as they explored his skin, your fingers leaving trails of fire wherever they roamed.
"Please..." he heard himself whisper, though he wasn’t sure if he was begging them to stop or to continue. His breath was ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as desire overwhelmed him
Your lips traveled down his neck, leaving a path of heat in their wake, and Charlie groaned despite himself, his hands moving of their own accord to grasp your hips, pulling them closer. You pressed against him, and he could feel the softness of your body against his, the intoxicating scent of your familiar perfume filling his senses.
He knew this was wrong. He knew he should stop, should pull away and regain control of himself, but he couldn’t. His mind was clouded with lust, his body betraying him completely as your hands continued their exploration, your touch driving him to the brink of madness.
"Let go," you whispered, your breath hot against his skin as you slid a hand lower, your touch eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him. The pleasure was overwhelming, surging through him like a wave as you stroked him, you movements slow and deliberate, coaxing him closer and closer to the edge.
Charlie’s grip on the altar tightened as he felt himself losing control, his body trembling with the force of his desire. He wanted more, needed more, and you seemed all too willing to give it to him, your lips pressing against his once again as your hand moved faster, pushing him closer and closer to release.
When it came, it was like an explosion of heat and pleasure, washing over him in waves that left him gasping for breath. He clung to you, his body shuddering with the intensity of it all, his mind spinning in a haze of ecstasy and guilt.
And then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over.
Charlie woke with a start, gasping for breath, his body tangled in sweat-soaked sheets. His heart raced, pounding violently in his chest as the remnants of the dream clung to him, vivid and inescapable. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to shake the images from his mind, but they lingered—soft touches, whispered words, the sensation of heat curling through him in ways it shouldn’t.
It had been more than a dream. It was more sinful, more explicit, and far too real. His skin still burned from where you had touched him, your hands roaming over his body with an intimacy that made his chest tighten with guilt. His throat was dry, aching, but not with thirst—no, with something far deeper and darker.
"God," he muttered, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Please..."
He shifted under the blankets, feeling the undeniable evidence of his arousal—a sickening reminder of what had transpired in the dream. Shame washed over him like a cold tide, dousing the warmth that had gripped him so fiercely only moments ago. He didn’t dare move, his entire being consumed by regret and disgust.
He couldn't believe he came from the mere thought of you. It was sickening—he felt like a teenager all over again. How could he have let this happen? How could his mind, his very body, betray him like this?
Your face flickered in his mind again—those eyes, filled with longing and desire, the way you had smiled at him, that wicked, knowing grin. It hadn’t been innocent, not in the least. You had touched him in ways he had never been touched in a while, ways he wasn’t supposed to experience again.
He threw back the covers, the cool air in the room hitting his overheated skin as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. His feet hit the floor with a soft thud, and for a moment, he simply sat there, head in his hands, struggling to regain some semblance of control.
A priest wasn’t supposed to feel this way. He wasn’t supposed to be consumed by desire, least of all for someone so... unattainable. Someone who had come to him for guidance, for spiritual comfort, not for whatever this had been.
He stood, shaking, the cold of the room biting into him. He needed to calm himself, to pray, to wash away the evidence of his sin.
But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget the dream. Couldn’t forget the way it had felt—the warmth, the pleasure, the ache of it all.
Father Charlie whispered a desperate prayer under his breath as he padded to the bathroom. As the water ran cold over his skin, he prayed again for strength—for a release from this burden that had taken hold of him.
But deep down, the fear gnawed at him: what if this wasn’t the last time? What if he wasn't strong enough to resist?
He shivered at the thought.
──
Father Charlie stood by the doorway of the church hall, his gaze sweeping over the room. The sounds of children’s laughter and the murmur of conversations filled the air as parents and volunteers mingled. It was a typical event—one that should’ve had his attention focused on the joyful chaos before him
But his focus was elsewhere.
You sat at a table on the far side of the room, your attention seemingly on the children around you, but there was an unmistakable shift in the air between the two of you. His eyes kept being drawn back to you, despite his efforts to look elsewhere, to find something—anything—that might distract him from the growing heat in his chest and the tightness in his pants.
Then, you slipped the bright red lollipop between your lips, the movement slow, deliberate, and utterly intoxicating. It was a seemingly innocent gesture, one that any onlooker might dismiss, but Charlie saw it for what it was—a silent taunt, a temptation that you knew he couldn’t tear his gaze from.
His throat tightened as he watched you, your eyes flicking up to meet his, a playful glint dancing behind them. You held his gaze as you swirled the candy in your mouth, the exaggerated motion sending a jolt of excitement and heat straight through him. It was subtle enough to avoid drawing attention from anyone else, but the intent behind it was clear.
You were tempting him. And he knew it.
Charlie clenched his jaw, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the back of a nearby chair. He felt torn between his duty—his responsibility to maintain control, to be the figure of moral guidance he was supposed to be—and the way his body reacted to you, the way desire simmered just beneath his skin.
You smirked around the lollipop, letting it slip slowly from your mouth before you spoke to the child beside you, your voice light and innocent. But your eyes remained locked on his for a beat longer, the unspoken tension hanging in the air.
Father Charlie turned away quickly, trying to suppress the fire burning through him. He felt as though he were in a battle with himself—a war between the man he was and the desires that he struggled to keep buried. His mind raced with guilt, knowing that this tension—this attraction—was something he should never indulge.
But when he glanced back at you, and saw the way your plump lips wrapped around the candy once more, his breath caught in his throat. The world around him—the event, the children, the laughter—seemed to blur into the background as you continued to play this dangerous game.
Every gesture, every glance, felt like a carefully orchestrated tease, one that made it impossible for him to look away, even though he knew he should.
Charlie’s heart pounded in his chest, the temptation pulling at him stronger than it had ever been before. He couldn’t let this go on, he told himself. He needed to leave, to step away before he lost control entirely.
But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself to walk away, the sight of you sitting there, sucking on that lollipop with a mischievous glint in your eye, held him captive.
He let out a sigh, feeling his pants tighten once more. He glanced down, there was a noticeable bulge poking out.
With a sharp inhale, he tore his gaze away from you and pushed himself toward the nearest exit, keeping his movements as natural as he could manage. His skin burned with shame as he walked, the feeling of his pants tightening only making his predicament worse. He kept his head low, praying no one would stop him on his way out.
Or worse, see the issue at hand.
The corridor leading to the church bathrooms was mercifully empty, the laughter and conversations fading behind him as he moved quickly toward the door marked Men. His steps were hurried, and by the time he reached the bathroom, his breath was ragged.
Charlie shoved the door open and stepped inside, locking it behind him. He leaned against the sink, gripping the edges tightly as he tried to collect himself. His reflection in the mirror showed a man torn between the roles he was meant to fulfill and the raw human desire threatening to break through.
The bulge in his pants hadn’t lessened, and the sight of it brought another wave of heat crashing over him. He squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would block out the image of you, teasing and playful, with that lollipop in your mouth.
The temptation was too much, and he hated himself for it.
He couldn't think about you. He couldn't allow himself to dwell on the way your lips had moved, or the sly glint in your eyes, or the overwhelming desire that had burned in the pit of his stomach. He needed to focus. To rid himself of this unbearable need before it consumed him entirely.
With shaking hands, Charlie fumbled at his belt, a silent prayer escaping his lips, though he doubted any words of faith could cleanse the guilt twisting inside him now. He fought to keep his mind blank, but the image of you kept resurfacing—your teasing smile, your suggestive glances, the way your mouth had played with that lollipop as if you knew exactly what it was doing to him.
His breath hitched as he unzipped his pants, his mind waging a losing battle against his body's demands. This wasn’t what he wanted—not really—but the heat, the tension, the pressure… it was all too much. He felt helpless, lost in a battle he had no hope of winning.
He cursed under his breath as his hand moved over the fabric, the friction both a release and a deepening source of guilt. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to keep silent, though the shame only made his body more desperate for relief. It wasn’t just physical; it was emotional, a chaotic mix of guilt, desire, and the thrill of crossing a line he had vowed never to approach.
His thoughts flickered back to the church hall, imagining you sitting there, your eyes still locked on his, your lips still playing that dangerous game. But instead of the lollipop, it was his cock instead. You were looking up at him with those doe eyes, the ones he could never get enough of.
This was wrong—so terribly wrong—but in this moment, nothing else seemed to matter.
A strangled sigh escaped him as the tension inside built toward its inevitable conclusion. His movements became more frantic, his mind clouded with both desire and self-loathing. He fought to suppress the groan rising in his throat, his body betraying him as he sought the release he knew would come all too quickly.
But before he could cum, he heard a knock. His eyes snapped open, his body shaking. But his movements didn't falter.
"Taken!" He groaned out, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"Father, it's me."
Charlie froze, his entire body going rigid at the sound of your voice. The very voice that had been the cause of his torment—the one that filled his thoughts during long, sleepless nights, and echoed in his mind during moments of prayer. Hearing it now, so close, made his stomach lurch with guilt and panic.
His hands were still trembling, his sticky arousal refusing to dissipate even as the cold wave of reality crashed down on him. He bit down on his lip, heart racing, his mind screaming at him to pull himself together. But the fact that you were standing just beyond the door, oblivious to the storm you'd stirred within him, made it impossible for him to think straight.
"Father?" your voice called again, this time with a soft, almost innocent lilt that twisted the knife deeper.
He swallowed hard, forcing his breathing to steady, though the heat in his chest hadn’t faded. His hand hovered over his zipper, shaking with the shame of what he had been doing just moments before. His body still ached with unresolved tension, but he pushed it down, trying to ignore the unbearable need that still pulsed through him.
"Yes?" His voice cracked as he finally spoke, hoarse and raw. He cleared his throat, trying to sound composed. "I... I’m a little busy at the moment."
There was a brief pause from the other side of the door, and he could almost imagine the look on your face—the innocent expression you always wore, one that belied the way you had been teasing him, testing him for weeks. You had to know what you were doing. There was no other explanation for it.
"Sorry, Father," you replied, your voice apologetic, but with that familiar hint of playfulness that made his pulse quicken. "I just... I wanted to talk to you. Is everything alright? You sounded a bit... off. You just ran off, and I was worried."
Worried? You knew damn well what you were doing.
His heart hammered in his chest. He wasn’t sure how to respond, especially when he could still feel the tightness in his pants, the shameful evidence of his struggle with temptation. He couldn’t let you see him like this. Not after what he had almost done. No, not almost—what he had done.
"I’m fine," he replied, the words rushing out too quickly. "Just—just give me a moment, please."
There was silence on the other side, and Father Charlie closed his eyes, cursing himself under his breath. He knew he needed to calm down, to suppress the lingering arousal that still throbbed through him, but it was nearly impossible with you standing just beyond the door, your voice echoing in his mind, a constant reminder of the desires he could no longer ignore.
"Okay, Father," you said after a long pause, your tone gentle, yet still laced with that underlying tease. "I’ll wait for you outside."
As soon as you spoke, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, his body slumping against the sink in a mixture of frustration and shame. He could still feel the tension coiled tightly in his core, but he had to ignore it now—had to push it down and find some semblance of control before he faced you.
Charlie adjusted his clothes quickly, forcing himself to focus on anything but the ache that still pulsed through him. He wiped the sweat from his brow, straightened his collar, and took a long, deep breath.
The door was still locked, but knowing you were just outside filled him with dread and anticipation in equal measure. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could withstand the temptation you had placed in front of him, but for now, he had to pretend. He had to keep up the façade of control, even as the cracks in his resolve grew deeper by the day
With one final glance in the mirror, Father Charlie steeled himself and turned the lock, pulling the door open to face the very source of his downfall.
And there you were, standing just a few feet away, your eyes wide and innocent—though he knew better than to believe it was all innocence. You were a temptation he could barely resist, and every interaction only pulled him further into the darkness he'd been desperately trying to avoid.
"Is everything alright, Father?" you asked, tilting your head slightly, that sweet, familiar smile on your lips. But your eyes—those teasing eyes—held a glimmer that set his heart racing once more.
"Y-yes," he stammered, his throat tight, doing everything in his power to keep his voice steady. "Everything’s fine."
But as you looked up at him, your gaze lingering just a moment too long, Father Charlie knew this battle was far from over.
Your eyes glanced down at his pants, his bulge evident. Your eyebrows rose as you blinked up at him, the same teasing smile on your plump lips. "You don't look fine, Father."
The way you said his title almost made his knees buckle. He couldn't handle it, not anymore. "What do you think?" He snapped.
Your teasing smile widened, clearly pleased by the crack in Father Charlie's composure. His words, harsh and unsteady, only seemed to encourage you. You took a small step closer, the space between you shrinking as the tension in the air thickened, palpable and dangerous.
"What do I think?" you repeated, your voice soft and sweet, but laced with a knowing edge that sent another jolt through him. "I think you’ve been struggling, Father. I can see it in your eyes… feel it in the way you look at me."
He clenched his jaw, fists balling at his sides. Every instinct screamed for him to shut this down, to end the conversation and walk away before he did something he could never take back. But the heat burning in his chest, the tightness in his pants, and the way you gazed up at him with those teasing, taunting eyes made it impossible for him to think clearly.
His breath hitched, his throat tightening as he tried to keep his voice level, to maintain the last threads of control he still had. "You... need to leave," he muttered through gritted teeth, though the command sounded more like a plea. He took a step back, trying to put distance between you, but his back hit the wall, trapping him in a corner.
You didn’t follow him, but your eyes stayed locked on his, your lips parting ever so slightly as you spoke again. "Do you want me to leave, Father?" you asked, your voice dripping with temptation, your tone making it clear you knew the answer before he could even speak.
He opened his mouth to respond, to say yes, to do what he knew was right, but the words wouldn’t come. His body betrayed him, still trembling with the aftermath of the temptation he had barely controlled just moments ago. The guilt twisted deeper in his chest, but with you standing there, so close, so dangerous, he couldn’t bring himself to push you away.
You took another small step forward, your eyes flicking down once more to the bulge straining against his pants. "You don’t look like you want me to go," you murmured, your voice low and intimate.
The way you said it, so confidently, so calmly, broke something inside him. His breathing quickened, the shame mixing with desire in a way that left him dizzy and unable to think straight. His hands itched to reach out, to grab you, to pull you closer, but he forced them to stay at his sides, his knuckles white from the effort of holding back.
"Fuck," he got out before he finally grabbed your wrist. "You know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"
You didn't respond, just stared back at him with a smirk. "What you mean—"
"Shh, shut up. Just shut up," Father Charlie got out as his grip on your wrist tighten. He looked around the empty corridors and pulled you into the bathroom, practically pushing you into it. He slammed the door behind him, locking it.
The slam of the door echoed through the small bathroom, the sound sharp and final. Father Charlie stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, his chest rising and falling as he fought to keep a grip on himself. The small, dimly lit space felt suffocating, the walls closing in as the tension between you thickened, charged with unspoken desire.
You leaned back against the sink, your expression still playful, teasing, as if you held all the power in this twisted game. And maybe you did. You watched him, your smirk never fading, as his eyes darkened with lust, the lines between what was right and what he wanted blurring faster than he could stop them.
"Father," you whispered, your voice lilting, almost mocking as it dripped with the weight of temptation. "We really shouldn't—"
"I told you to shut up," he growled, cutting you off. His voice was rough, raw with the conflict tearing him apart. But his body betrayed him, his hands trembling as he reached out, fingers wrapping around your arm with a grip that was both desperate and unsteady.
For weeks, he had tried to deny it—to push down the thoughts, the fantasies, the overwhelming pull of desire you had stirred within him. But now, standing here with you, the air thick with temptation, he felt like a man on the edge of a cliff, teetering between control and the abyss.
"Do you think this is a game?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous, though you could hear the tremor beneath it. He stepped closer, towering over you, his body radiating heat. "Do you think I don’t know what you’ve been doing? The looks, the way you talk to me, the way you… tease me?"
You met his gaze, unflinching, your smile widening. "Maybe it is a game," you said softly, tilting your head, eyes dancing with mischief. "But you’re the one who's playing along."
His grip tightened, his breath hitching as your words sank in. He hated how true they were. Every time he had looked at you, every moment his mind had wandered to the things he shouldn't have been thinking—he had been playing into this. And now, he was standing on the edge of a line he couldn’t afford to cross.
But he had already crossed it, hadn't he?
"Shut up," he whispered again, though this time his voice was weaker, the command laced with more desperation than authority. His free hand pressed against the wall beside you, his body leaning in closer, so close he could feel the heat radiating from your skin.
You tilted your chin up, eyes gleaming as you watched him struggle, as if you were daring him to let go of the last shreds of control he clung to. And maybe, just maybe, he wanted you to push him over the edge.
"Or what?" you whispered back, the challenge clear in your tone.
Father Charlie’s jaw clenched, his entire body tense as he wrestled with himself, his grip on you tightening. His breath was hot and ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as he stared down at you. For a moment, it seemed like he might pull back, that he might step away, regain the control that had been slipping through his fingers.
But then he kissed you.
It was sudden, rough, and filled with the weeks of pent-up desire he had been fighting so hard to contain. His lips crashed against yours, his hands pulling you closer, as if giving in to the temptation that had been haunting him was the only way to make the ache go away.
The kiss was hungry, desperate, and you could feel the conflict in every movement—how he both wanted this and hated himself for wanting it.
You moaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer. His hands slid up and down your back before suddenly finding your hair, pulling it back from the kiss.
"You're a whore," he gritted out as he gripped your hair impossibly rougher. "A whore in disguise, aren't you? You feign innocence but you're the most sinful in this Church."
Father Charlie's words were harsh, laced with anger and lust, but the grip in your hair sent a different message—desire and desperation. His brown eyes, dark and conflicted, bore into yours as he pulled you even closer, his breath hot against your skin. His control was slipping, unraveling faster with every second, and he knew it.
You smiled up at him, the tension between you crackling like a live wire. "If I'm sinful, Father, then what does that make you?" you asked softly, your voice teasing, daring him to continue.
He clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing at your words, a low growl escaping his throat as he yanked your head back, exposing your neck. "It makes me weak," he muttered, his lips ghosting over your skin. "Weak because of you. Because of the way you tempt me."
His mouth hovered just inches from your neck, his breath warm, his body pressed against yours, every movement charged with the weight of the forbidden. His hands, still tangled in your hair, trembled with a mixture of restraint and hunger.
"You're what’s wrong with me," he whispered, his voice hoarse, as if he were trying to convince himself of the words as much as he was trying to convince you. "You’ve dragged me down to your level. Made me forget everything I stand for. Everything I’m supposed to be."
But even as he spoke, his lips brushed your neck, leaving a trail of heated, fleeting kisses along your skin. His body moved on instinct, driven by the desire he could no longer deny.
Father Charlie's lips pressed harder against your neck, his breath ragged as his restraint dissolved. His words, filled with self-loathing, contradicted the urgency of his touch. Each kiss grew more desperate, more reckless, as if he were trying to bury the shame and guilt in the taste of your skin. His grip in your hair tightened, pulling you closer, and the tension between you ignited into something explosive, something neither of you could stop now.
His free hand roamed down your body, fingertips pressing into your waist, his touch both rough and reverent, like he was grappling with the weight of his own desire. Every brush of his hand, every kiss, was a betrayal of the man he had once been. But the way your body responded, the way you leaned into him, only fueled the fire burning inside him.
"God help me," he whispered against your collarbone, the words barely audible, as if he were speaking them to himself more than to you. But he didn’t stop. He couldn’t.
You let out a soft moan, your hands tangling in his hair, encouraging him to continue, to give in completely. His resolve crumbled further with every sound you made, every movement of your body against his. The line between right and wrong, between control and surrender, had long since vanished.
Charlie pulled back for a moment, his eyes wild, filled with a mix of anger, lust, and confusion. His chest heaved as he looked at you, torn between pushing you away and pulling you even closer.
"I hate you for this," he rasped, though the heat in his eyes betrayed the truth. "But I can’t stop. I can’t stop wanting you."
You smiled, a knowing, satisfied smile, as your hand slid down his chest. "Then don’t stop," you whispered, your voice dripping with seduction, coaxing him deeper into the darkness.
That was all it took. With a frustrated growl, he crashed his lips against yours again, harder this time, as if punishing both of you for the sinful desire you had ignited. His hands roamed freely now, no longer held back by hesitation or fear. There was only the raw, uncontrollable need consuming him.
Whatever consequences lay ahead, whatever guilt or shame waited for him on the other side of this moment, Father Charlie couldn’t bring himself to care. Not anymore.
Charlie yanked your hair back again, then stared into your eyes. Without warning, he pushed you to your knees roughly. "How about you do something useful for once, huh?" He muttered breathlessly.
You blinked back up at him, your hands finding their place on his hips. You moved slow and deliberate, which angered Charlie more. Charlie’s eyes darkened as he looked down at you, his grip on your hair tightening, pulling at your scalp just enough to make you gasp. The frustration in his gaze was palpable—fueled by your deliberate slowness, by the way you reveled in the power you had over him.
“You think this is funny?” he growled, his breath ragged as he watched you, his fingers digging into your scalp. His frustration was obvious, but beneath that anger was a raw, unquenchable desire. He hated how much control you had over him, how easily you made him lose himself.
You smiled up at him, slow and teasing, your fingers trailing over his hips, letting him feel the barest touch of your hands. “Maybe it is,” you whispered, eyes gleaming with mischief, enjoying every second of his torment. "At least, to me it is."
You could feel the tension radiating from him, the barely contained hunger in his every movement. Slowly, teasingly, you ran your hands lower, grazing over the bulge straining against his pants, earning a sharp intake of breath from him.
Charlie’s hand tightened in your hair as a low growl escaped his throat. “You think you’re so fucking clever,” he rasped, his voice low and dangerous, his grip on you firm as he stared down with a mix of lust and anger. “But you’re going to regret this.”
Your smirk widened, and without breaking eye contact, you undid his belt, letting it fall to the floor with a soft clink. His breath hitched as you slowly unzipped his pants, the anticipation thick between you, hanging in the air like a loaded weapon.
“Prove it,” you challenged, your voice a soft murmur as you looked up at him, daring him to follow through on his words.
For a moment, Charlie stood there, his chest heaving, torn between the overwhelming desire that had consumed him and the guilt gnawing at the edges of his mind. But the pull of temptation was too strong—too powerful to resist any longer.
With a grunt of frustration, he grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you forward as he freed himself. “I don’t care what happens after this,” he growled, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with lust and anger. “Right now, you’re mine. And you're gonna do what I fucking tell you.”
You barely had time to respond before he pushed your mouth onto his cock, rough and demanding, his hand guiding you with a forceful grip. The suddenness of it made your breath catch, but you quickly adjusted, falling into a rhythm as he set the pace, his body trembling with the intensity of his need.
You wrapped your lips around him, moaning. His cock was dripping with pre-cum, and your saliva made it messier—but neither of you cared. The bathroom was filled with the sounds of his ragged breathing, punctuated by the occasional low moan as you worked him with sloppy, measured motions. His hips thrust forward, pushing deeper, his control rapidly slipping away as he surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure.
Your mouth was so warm and inviting, he couldn't stop. This was what heaven felt like, he swore—there was nothing better than this feeling, the feeling of your sinful mouth.
Charlie’s hand tightened in your hair, pulling you closer, his fingers digging into your scalp as he lost himself in the moment, all thoughts of guilt or consequences forgotten. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his voice barely more than a growl as his head fell back, eyes fluttering shut. “You… you’re such a fucking tease.”
He pushed you until you were gagging around his cock, much to his dismay. "Take it, whore. This is what you wanted, right? For me to use you?"
Your eyes were watering and your jaw felt like it was going to break, but his mean words egged you on. You hummed around him, a wicked smile curling at the edges of your lips as you kept gliding up and down his cock.
But just as he was on the edge, just as the tension in his body built to an unbearable peak, he suddenly yanked you off him, breathless and furious, eyes blazing as he stared down at you.
“Get up,” he commanded, his voice low and guttural, barely holding onto the last threads of control. “Turn around, whore.”
You barely had any time to react before he turned you around to face the mirror. He bent you over the sink as you let out a whimper, before his hands found your hair again and yanked it up.
"Look at you," he murmured as he forced you to look at yourself.
Your hair was a mess, your mascara running down your doe eyes and your sticky cheeks and chin. You caught your breath as you glanced back to meet his eyes through the mirror.
He bent you completely over the sink and landed a sharp slap on your behind. You let out a yelp, shutting your eyes at the stinging feeling. "Fuck,"
"What? Is it too much now, baby?" Charlie spoke, his voice dripping with mockery. His lips were curved into a smirk as he tutted. "This is what you wanted, right?"
He didn't give you time to respond before leading the tip of cock to your folds. You felt his heavy tip on your sloppy entrance, practically begging to get fucked. He hadn't even gotten the chance to touch you properly and you were already soaked.
He hummed at the warm feeling before pushing inside. He let out a huff of air, his head falling back in pure ecstasy. "Oh, yeah," was all he could get out. Your hands found the edge of the sink, gripping it tightly as you let out a desperate moan.
Charlie pushed himself all the way in, bottoming you out within a few quick seconds. He didn't even let you adjust to his size before he began slamming you into roughly, the edge of the sink burying into your stomach.
His thrusts were sharp and relentless, he wasn't letting up anytime soon. You felt like you were on a different planet, the feeling of his cock was dizzying as your eyes rolled back into your head.
"O-oh, fuck!" You cried out as your head fell forward.
Charlie gripped your hips even tighter as he groaned with each slam of his own hips, his head falling back. Your cunt tighten around his cock, and he felt your release coming. One of his hands reached up to grip your head roughly.
"Don't you dare cum, not yet," He got out breathlessly as you tried your best to nod. "Do not cum."
You squeezed, holding off your orgasm as you were told. You didn't know if you could—but you knew the consequences would be dire, Charlie wasn't playing around anymore.
A few harsh slams and he was cumming deep inside you, his moans echoing in the small bathroom. He rode out his high, his grip in your hair not easing one bit. "Fucking take it,"
You whimpered as you tried to hold off your orgasm, tears falling from your eyes as you gripped the sink. Without warning, he slipped out of you.
Your eyes opened and you turned around to face him. "Charlie—"
He cut you off swiftly as he pulled his pants up. "You don't deserve it,"
"Deserve it?" You practically cried out. "I just let you fuck me and you're not gonna let me cum?"
Father Charlie just shrugged. "Whores don't get to cum."
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#charlie mayhew#grotesquerie#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#father charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew x reader#nicholas chavez#father charlie x reader#father charlie smut#smut#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez fanfic
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Taste ➵ Matt Sturniolo
warnings: SMUT, virgin!matt, softdom!reader, unprotected p in v, heavy on praise and consent, oral!f!receiving, can't tell if it's cringe or not lmao
synopsis: on their first anniversary, y/n and matt finally decide to go all the way.
“I can't believe it's been a year already.” You let out a quiet sigh.
Matt nodded, the thought of their year together bringing a smile to his lips.
“Yeah. It feels like just yesterday we had our first date,” he said, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.
He remembered every detail of that day, the way you looked, the way he'd been so nervous he felt like he might throw up. But he'd found the courage to ask you out, and you'd said yes. It felt like a dream come true.
Matt's gaze drifted from your face to the room around them. The soft, warm light of the lamp by the bed was casting shadows on the walls, the room cozy and intimate. The silence between them was comfortable, broken only by their soft breathing. Matt couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment, a feeling of being right where he belonged.
“I can't believe how lucky I am,” he murmured, his voice low. “To have you, I mean.”
“I'm the lucky one,” you whispered.
Matt chuckled softly at your words, his fingers still tangled in your hair.
“Oh, please,” he said, a hint of a smile in his voice. “I'm the one who gets to hold you like this, to call you mine. I think I won the lottery.”
You giggled, a sound that always made Matt's heart skip a beat.
“I can't argue with that,” you conceded. You snuggled closer to him, resting your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “But I get to hold you back, so we're even.”
Matt's hand moved to your back, gently tracing circles on your skin. The feel of you against him, the sound of your voice, was comforting and soothing, but it also stirred a different kind of feeling in him. A feeling of desire and longing.
“Yeah, I guess we are,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion.
He tightened his arm around you, pulling you even closer, his fingers tracing your spine. Matt's heart thrummed with anticipation. The fact that you've never done more than kiss had been on his mind a lot lately. He wanted you, more than he could say. And tonight felt different, special. It was their anniversary, a milestone in their relationship. A part of him ached to take things further, to show you how much he loved you. But his insecurities and anxieties held him back. What if he wasn't good enough? What if he disappointed you? The thought was terrifying.
“Baby,” he finally said, breaking the silence between them. He swallowed hard, his heart beating a little faster. “Can I ask you something?” His voice was nervous, and he was suddenly regretting asking you anything at all.
At his anxious tone, you knitted your brows and turned to face him. “Of course. What is it?”
Matt looked down at you, his thoughts a swirling mess of anxiety and desire. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “It's… It's our anniversary,” he started, his voice a little shaky. “And I was wondering…”
He trailed off, the words failing him. He felt like a complete idiot. He'd never been good with expressing his desires, especially when it came to physical intimacy.
You gazed at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. You could tell he was nervous, and it made you worry. You reached up, gently caressing his cheek. “Yes?” you prompted, your voice gentle and encouraging.
Matt's heart fluttered at your touch, and he took another deep breath, summoning his courage. “I was just… I was thinking…” he mumbled, his words barely more than a whisper. “Tonight, I was hoping we could… Take things further.”
He felt a blush rising up his cheeks, and he quickly looked away, suddenly unable to meet your gaze.
“Oh,” you said quietly. “Are you sure? Like, 100% sure?”
Matt nodded quickly, his heart hammering in his chest. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice trembling slightly. “I'm sure. I've been thinking about it for a while now. I… I want you, baby.”
Saying the words out loud sent a shockwave of adrenaline through him. It was exhilarating, terrifying, and wonderful all at once. But he knew he needed to be honest, to lay it all out on the table.
“I'm just... nervous,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I've never done anything more than kissing, and I don't… I don't know if I'll be any good.”
“It's okay,” you whispered, reaching up to caress his cheek. “But are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you'll regret.”
Matt leaned into your touch, the warmth and tenderness of your hand calming him down a little. But your words also made him pause. Was he sure? He desperately wanted this, wanted you. But his insecurities were still looming, a dark cloud in the back of his mind.
“I'm sure,” he replied, his eyes searching yours. “I want this. With you.”
“All right.” You nodded. “How… How far are we talking?”
Matt felt his cheeks flush even more, but he forced himself to keep eye contact with you. He appreciated your directness, and your willingness to talk about this openly.
“I, uh…” he began, his voice still a little shaky. “Everything, I guess. If you want that.”
He swallowed hard, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He hoped he wasn't pressuring you or coming on too strong.
You felt your heart skipping a beat and heat already pooling in your lower abdomen. “I do,” you said softly. “But I want to make sure you're completely comfortable.”
Hearing your confirmation sent a pang of excitement through Matt. He felt a mix of emotions, desire, affection, and a hint of fear. But overruling it all was a deep sense of trust. Your words, your reassurance, it was all he needed.
“I am,” he said, his voice a little steadier now. “I trust you, baby. Completely.”
A small, tender smile crept onto your face. “Okay.” Your voice was so soft, so sweet, so kind. “Do you… Want me to take the lead?”
Matt's heart leaped at your question, a mix of relief and desire coursing through him. The idea of you taking control was both frightening and exciting. He hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Yes,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “I… I want you to take the lead.”
You put one of your hands on his cheek before slowly and gently pressing your lips against his.
Matt's heart skipped a beat at the feel of your lips on his. He'd kissed you countless times before, but this kiss felt different, more intimate. He let out a soft sigh against your mouth, all his anxieties and worries melting away as your touch filled his senses. He brought his own hands up to cup your face, his fingers gently tracing your jaw, his touch soft and reverent.
The kiss deepened, their mouths moving against each other in a slow, languorous dance. Matt could feel the heat pooling in his stomach, the desire for you growing with every passing second. The fear was still there, but it was muffled by the overwhelming sensation of pleasure. He pulled you closer, his hands moving to your hips, his fingers pressing into your skin.
Not stopping the kiss, You moved to straddle his lap, your knees on both sides of his thighs.
Matt felt a shiver run down his spine as you straddled him, your body suddenly so close and so warm. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you even closer, their bodies now pressed together in a way you’ve never been before. The feeling of your weight on his lap ignited a new wave of desire in him, his kisses growing even more intense. He wanted you, desperately.
“You okay?” you mumbled into his lips.
Matt's breath caught in his throat as you spoke, the feeling of your words more like breath than a sound. He couldn't even form a response, his mind completely consumed by your touch and the taste of your lips. He managed a nod, a weak yes whispered against your mouth. He was more than okay. He was on fire.
Matt groaned involuntarily at the feel of your tongue against his lip, the sound more a mixture of pleasure and need than anything else. He immediately parted his lips, granting you access without a second thought. His hands moved to your thighs, his fingers gripping your flesh as he opened his mouth to her.
The kiss grew hungrier, more urgent. Their tongues tangled together, exploring each other without restraint. Matt was lost in the sensation, in the feeling of you in his lap, your body pressed against him. He could hardly think straight, his mind clouded by desire and need. His hips involuntarily bucked slightly, seeking more contact.
“Impatient, huh?” You teased softly, pulling away a little.
Matt let out a low growl of frustration as you pulled away, a mix of desire and irritation in his expression. He was getting so lost in the moment, he was aching for more. Your words, your tease only heightened his need.
“Baby…” he breathed, his voice a mixture of pleading and impatience. “Don't tease me.”
You smiled tenderly before grabbing his both hands and sliding them under your crop top, urging him to take it off.
Matt let out a sharp breath at the feel of your skin under his hands, your top soft and warm. Without hesitation, he moved his hands slowly up your stomach, his fingers exploring the planes of your skin as he helped you pull off your crop top. It fell to the floor, forgotten. His eyes went wide at the sight of your half-naked upper body, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Oh God,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire.
Matt couldn't have looked away even if he'd wanted to. His eyes were drawn to your chest, his breath hitching at the sight. It was as if his brain was shorting out, his desire for you overwhelming everything else. He felt a mix of awe, arousal, and a hint of nervousness. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly very dry.
“You're… You're so beautiful,” he managed to whisper, his voice thick with want.
You smiled softly, your fingertips tracing his shoulders over the t-shirt. “Can I take it off, baby?”
Matt's muscles twitched under your touch, your words sending a shudder down his spine.
“Yes,” he breathed, his voice a little shaky. “Please.”
He wanted to feel your skin on his, the touch of your fingers on his bare chest. He raised his arms to help you as you tugged his t-shirt over his head, discarding it to the side.
Matt's muscles twitched under your touch, your words sending a shudder down his spine. “Yes,” he breathed, his voice a little shaky. “Please.”
He wanted to feel your skin on his, the touch of your fingers on his bare chest. He raised his arms to help you as you tugged his t-shirt over his head, discarding it to the side.
Once the shirt was off, his chest was now bare, exposed to your touch and gaze. Matt felt a mixture of vulnerability and excitement, his heart beating fast in his chest. He could feel your eyes on him, your fingers tracing soft patterns on his skin. He wanted you, all of you.
“Baby,” he murmured, his voice ragged with need. “Touch me.”
Obediently, You ran your fingertips through his shoulders, to his arms, to his chest. “God, you're so beautiful,” you whispered breathlessly.
Matt's breath caught in his throat as your fingers glided over his skin, your touch leaving trails of fire in its wake. He shivered under your touch, a small moan escaping his lips. Your words, your voice, your touch — it was all almost too much to bear.
“No, you are,” he breathed, his own hands moving to your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh. "So beautiful. So perfect."
You were doing everything so slowly and gently, knowing that he'd never done anything like that before. You wanted to make it so good for him. Matt was both grateful and frustrated by your slow and gentle pace. Grateful that you were so patient, and so understanding, but frustrated because he just wanted more. He wanted to be consumed by you, to lose himself in your touch. But he knew you were doing it for his sake, to make it easier for him, and that only made him love you more.
“Baby,” he gasped, his voice pleading. “Please. More. I need more.”
You smirked before leaning a little closer to his face. “You want more?”
Matt looked at you, his eyes dark with desire, his expression a mixture of need and pleading.
“Yes,” he whispered, his voice a little breathless. “I want more. I want all of you.”
He reached up to you, his hands skimming up your sides, his touch firm and possessive. He wanted to touch you, to feel you, to lose himself in you.
“Please,” he added, his voice a low, desperate plea.
You held his face as you kissed him once again, the kiss sweet and full of emotion.
Matt returned the kiss hungrily, his lips moving against yours with a mix of desperation and affection. He couldn't get close enough to you, his hands roaming over your bare skin, wanting to feel you, to touch you everywhere. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth with a new, more urgent fervor. He could feel his desire for you growing, overpowering everything else.
“Baby…” he breathed into your mouth. “Please, I… I need you.”
Matt swore, his head falling back on the pillow as you ground your hips with his. The feel of you grinding against him, the friction, the heat, and the pressure — it was almost too much. He gripped your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh, trying to pull you closer, to increase the contact. A low moan escaped his lips, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
“Oh God,” he panted, his eyes squeezed shut. “Baby… That feels… That feels so good.”
“You sound so pretty,” you praised breathlessly.
Matt blushed at your words, his heart fluttering at your praise. He let out another soft moan as you rode against him, his body responding instinctively. He was completely lost in the sensation, the feel of your body against his driving him mindless. He tried to form words, to respond, but all that came out was another low groan.
“God… Baby,” he breathed, his hands still holding onto your hips. “Don't… Don't stop.”
His body was on fire, his every nerve alive with desire. He could feel his own hardness growing beneath you, a testament to how much he needed you. His hips canted upward, seeking more contact, wanting to be closer, closer, closer. He opened his eyes, looking up at you, his gaze filled with a mix of want and awe.
“Sweetheart… I… I don't know how much… How much longer I can last,” he whispered, his voice thick with need.
“It's okay, baby,” you cooed, halting your movements.
Matt let out a small, involuntarily whine as you stopped moving, his body protesting the lack of sensation. He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire and frustration, but also with a hint of relief. He was so close to the edge, he didn't know how much longer he could hold on.
“I… I thought you would keep going,” he breathed, his voice a combination of disappointment and need.
“Patience, sweetheart,” you teased, your hand running down his chest, from his shoulder to his happy trail, before finally resting on the buckle of his belt.
Matt's breath hitched at your touch, your hand igniting a trail of fire on his skin. He watched as your hand moved down his chest, down his stomach, to the buckle of his belt. A wave of heat washed over him, making his entire body shiver with anticipation.
“Patience,” he echoed, his voice a rough whisper. “You're… You're killing me.”
You gently hooked your finger under the belt. “Can I?”
Matt nodded, his eyes locked on yours, his breathing shallow and ragged. He trusted you completely and wanted you to take whatever you needed from him. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice thick with need. “Do whatever you want. I'm all yours.”
“So good for me,” you praised before expertly unbuckling his belt and tugging his jeans down.
Matt's heart leaped at your praise, a sense of pride and satisfaction filling him. He lifted his hips slightly, helping you pull his jeans down. He was now only in his boxer briefs, the material doing little to conceal his arousal. He was completely exposed, both physically and emotionally, and he could do nothing but lay there and look up at you, his desire for you burning in his gaze.
“Only for you,” he whispered, his voice a quiet admission.
“Already so worked up for me, huh?” you asked breathlessly, a small smile on your face.
Matt blushed at your comment, the heat spreading across his cheeks. He could feel the evidence of his arousal straining against the fabric of his boxer briefs. He was so worked up, so needy, so desperate for your touch. He swallowed hard, his voice husky and raw.
“Yeah,” he breathed, his eyes fixed on yours. “Only for you. I want you so badly, sweetheart.”
You sat back on his lap, caressing his cheek. “You want to try to take off my bra, baby?”
Matt's eyes widened at your suggestion, a mix of excitement and anxiety washing over him. He'd never taken off a bra before, and he was suddenly unsure of himself. He swallowed hard, his throat dry.
“Yes,” he rasped, his voice betraying his nervousness. “I… I want to try.”
His hands moved to your back, his fingers trembling slightly as he reached for the clasp of your bra. He tried to steady his breathing, but his heart was racing, his mind a jumble of thoughts and feelings.
“I… I'll probably be bad at this,” he admitted, his voice a hesitant whisper.
“It's okay,” you assured him softly. “I don't mind.”
Matt nodded, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He fumbled with the clasp for a few seconds, his fingers feeling both clumsy and inadequate. But finally, with a soft click, the bra came undone. The cups fell loose, revealing your bare chest to him. He stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide, his breath caught in his throat.
“Oh… Wow,” he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of awe and desire.
You smiled a little sheepishly.
Matt's eyes drank you in, every inch of your beautiful skin, every curve and contour. His hands were itching to touch you, to feel your flesh under his fingertips.
“You are… You are so exquisite,” he breathed, his voice filled with a mixture of wonder and admiration. “You take my breath away.”
Noticing his hands twitching, your smile softened. “You can touch me.”
Matt couldn't believe you were actually giving him permission to touch you, to touch this beautiful woman who was willingly sitting on his lap, your body bare for him. He lifted his hands, his fingers hovering slightly above your skin.
“I… I want to,” he breathed, his voice a shaky whisper. He wanted to feel you so badly, but he was also afraid of doing something wrong, of upsetting you in some way. “Are you… Are you sure it's okay?”
“I am. Don't think so much. Just… Feel.”
Matt took a deep breath, allowing the words to sink in. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting go of the nagging thoughts and doubts in his mind. When he opened them again, his gaze was clear, his expression relaxed.
And then he touched you.
His fingers skimmed lightly over your skin, slowly, delicately, exploring the soft planes of your chest. A shiver ran through him as he felt the heat of your flesh, the suppleness of your skin.
“God, you're so soft,” he whispered.
Sensing that he was still holding back, You smiled softly and grabbed his hand, putting it directly on your breast, and gently squeezing his fingers.
Matt gasped, his breath hitching in his throat as your hand guided his. The feeling of your flesh, your breast, under his palm was almost too much. It was so soft, so warm. He could feel your heart beating rapidly under his fingers. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Oh God,” he breathed, his voice hoarse. “This… This feels… Incredible.”
His fingers traced a slow, tentative path over your breast, his touch firm but gentle. He could feel your own heart hammering against his palm, a perfect rhythm. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and full of desire.
“Is… Is this okay?” he breathed, his voice a low, raspy whisper. “I don't want to hurt you.”
“It's okay,” you assured him softly. “I'll tell you if anything. Just… Touch me.”
Matt nodded tightly, the lump in his throat suddenly replaced by a wave of desire and need. He took your words to heart, letting go of any lingering doubt or fear. He allowed himself to really touch you, to move his fingers over your skin, to feel the contours of your body.
His other hand moved up to your other breast, gently kneading it in his palm. “Is… Is this good?” he whispered, his voice almost inaudible over the sound of his own heartbeat. “You feel… So perfect, so soft.”
You let out a shaky breath. “So good.”
Matt felt a sense of power and satisfaction wash over him, emboldening him. He could feel your breath catching in your chest, hear the hitch in your voice. He knew he was doing something right, something that made you feel good. He continued to caress you, his touch becoming more confident, more sure of itself.
His breath felt hot and heavy, his heart hammering against his ribcage. “Can I… Can I kiss these, too?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.
You felt a sudden rush of so much love for this boy. “Of course. Anything you want.”
Matt's heart soared at your permission, at the way you were giving yourself to him so completely. You were so wonderful, so understanding. He leaned forward, his lips coming to rest on your breast, his tongue darting out to taste your skin. He was gentle at first, his touch light and tentative. But then he began to kiss you more firmly, more hungrily.
And then, a moan of his name escaped your lips.
Matt's heart leaped at the sound of your moan, the way you said his name. It was like music to his ears. He pulled back slightly, looking up at you with a mixture of awe and desire.
“Did… Did I do something right?” he asked, his voice breathless and shaky. “The way you said my name… It sounded… It sounded like it felt good, like you liked it.”
“You're doing… Incredible,” you whispered breathlessly.
Matt felt a surge of pride and satisfaction coursing through him. He couldn't believe this was actually happening, that he was pleasuring this incredible woman, making you feel this way. But the knowledge that he was pleasing you, making you moan and breathless, only fueled his own desire, his own need for you.
He continued to kiss you, his mouth moving across your chest, his tongue darting out to taste your skin. “More,” he murmured, his voice low and ragged. “Can I… Can I do more?”
“Anything.”
Matt felt a wave of heat and adrenaline wash over him at your word, your permission. Anything? The possibilities, the desires, raced through his mind. He wanted to explore you, to touch you, to make you feel things you'd never felt before.
His mouth moved down your body, his tongue tracing a path down your sternum, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along your stomach. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and full of need. “Can I… Can I taste you?”
You pulled yourself up on your elbows to look at him. He looked so pretty, looking up at you from between your thighs. But it was his first time, and you wanted to make it special do him. “Are you sure? I want it to be about you. You don't have to…”
Matt paused, looking up at you. Your concern for him, your consideration, made his heart swell. He could feel your gaze on him, warm and gentle. He knew you would never force him to do something he wasn't ready for. But he could also feel his own desire burning beneath the surface.
He nodded, his voice steady and sure. “I'm sure,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving yours. “I… I want to. I want to taste you. I want to please you… If you're okay with that.”
You nodded shakily, before bunching up the fabric of your skirt in your hands, pulling it down and revealing your little lacy panties.
Matt's eyes widened at the sight before him. Your panties were a beautiful lace, delicate and feminine. He could feel his mouth go dry, his heart quickening in his chest. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with an almost reverent awe.
His hands tentatively moved up from your thighs, tracing gentle patterns on your bare skin as they crept closer to your panties. “You're so beautiful,” he breathed, his voice laced with need and desire.
He leaned forward, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. His hands were still tracing feather-light patterns on your thighs, but he was now just millimeters away from your underwear. His heart was hammering, his mind a cacophony of emotions and sensations. “May I… May I touch you there?” he asked, his voice thick with desire.
“Please,” you whispered breathlessly, your chest already heaving.
Matt didn't need to be told twice. With a mixture of nerves and confidence, he let his fingers graze across the fabric of your panties, just touching the soft material. He could feel the heat radiating from you, the moisture already seeping through. He swallowed hard, his own body responding to the feel of you.
His gaze flicked up to your eyes momentarily, seeking reassurance, before returning to his task. “Is… Is this right?” he whispered, his voice a little shaky.
“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly. “Perfect.”
Matt felt a rush of relief and satisfaction at your words. He was doing well, making you feel good. He continued to touch you, to move his fingers across the fabric of your panties, feeling the heat and the dampness beneath.
As his touch grew more confident, more assured, he found himself getting more and more excited. His own breathing grew shaky, his heart racing. “Can… Can I do more?” he breathed, his voice slightly hoarse.
“Whatever you want,” you mewled. “I'll tell you if anything.”
Matt's heart fluttered at your response. The trust, the permission, it was almost too good to be true. He looked up at you, his eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation. But all he found was love, desire, and a willingness to explore.
He took a breath, trying to steady himself. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice a little shaky. He moved his fingers down to the edge of your panties, toying with the thin strip of fabric. “I… I want to touch you without these in the way…”
He paused, waiting for your permission. He was already so close, already feeling the heat and dampness of your through the thin fabric, but he wouldn't do anything you weren’t comfortable with. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with desire but laced with the need for your approval.
You nodded. “Do whatever you want.”
Matt felt a shudder run through him at your words. Your permission, your trust in him, it was like fuel for the fire that was burning within him. He gently pulled at your panties, guiding them down your legs, discarding them on the floor.
The sight of you, bare and fully exposed to him, was almost too much. His breath caught in his throat, and he had to force himself to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed. His fingers itched to touch you, to feel the smoothness and heat of your skin, but he waited, looking up for your nod of approval.
When you gave it, he moved quickly. His fingers traced a path up your thighs, moving closer and closer to your core. His own breathing was ragged, his heart pounding in his chest, and he struggled to keep his hands from shaking as they got closer and closer to the most intimate part.
His fingers grazed over your skin, feeling the heat radiating off of you. He could feel the wetness there, the evidence of your arousal, and he couldn't help but shudder. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and hungry, his tongue flicking out to moisten his suddenly dry lips.
“You're… You're so wet,” he whispered, the words barely escaping his lips.
Your breath hitched. “Only for you.”
His heart leaped at hearing your words, at the idea that he was the only cause of your arousal. He could feel the power and the responsibility that came with it, and it only stoked the fire within him.
His fingers were now tracing gentle circles around your entrance, his touch light and tentative. He couldn't believe he was doing this, touching you this way. “Can… Can I… Can I put a finger inside?” he asked, his voice shaky.
“Yeah,” you whispered shakily. “Please.”
Matt could feel his breath catch in his chest at your words, at the desire in your voice. His whole body was trembling, almost overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment. He nodded, swallowing hard, his eyes fixed on you.
He gently, carefully, eased a single finger inside, a choked gasp escaping his lips as he felt your warmth and wetness around him. As he moved his finger, You suddenly let out a gasp.
Matt was instantly worried, his finger freezing in place. “Did… Did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice full of concern. He looked up at you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.
“N-No, it's just…” Your face flushed. “Your fingers are longer than what I'm used to.”
Matt felt a sudden rush of pride at your words, his chest swelling. He had to admit, he'd always been a bit self-conscious about his long thin fingers. But the idea that they were causing her pleasure, that they were giving her a feeling you weren’t used to, that felt incredible.
He curled his finger slightly, exploring your depth. “Is… Is this okay…?”
Your breath hitched as he reached that one spot, and you almost screamed out loud. “Oh my…”
Matt was surprised by your reaction, the sound you made nearly sending him over the edge. But he was determined to make you feel good, to make you feel better than you'd ever felt before.
He kept his finger where it was, gently applying pressure to that one spot, a smirk on his face. “Is this the right spot, hm?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Matt,” you mumbled in pleasure.
Matt couldn't help but smile at your reaction, at the way you responded to his touch. He couldn't believe he was doing this to you, causing you to feel these things. And he couldn't resist the urge to tease you a little bit.
“Is that a yes?” he asked, his voice low and dripping with barely restrained desire.
“Add a second finger,” you instructed him softly. “And try to move them, curling them to hit that spot.”
At your instructions, Matt felt another wave of arousal wash over him. You were telling him what to do. You were guiding him, showing him how to please you. It was a new experience, but one he was more than happy to explore.
He obeyed, slowly adding a second finger to the first. The feeling was tighter, but also warmer. He began to move his fingers, just as you'd told him to.
The angle was a little clumsy at first, but then he felt that one spot, and he applied gentle pressure, curling his fingers at just the right angle. “Like…” he started, his voice a little breathless. “… like this?”
“Oh fuck…” you moaned, your back arching a little in pleasure.
Matt found himself breathing harder at the sight of you arching your back, at the way you were responding to his touch. He knew he was doing something right, and it only fueled his desire to please you more, to make you feel even better.
“Is… Is this good?” he asked, his voice a little shaky. “Does this feel good?”
“So good, fuck, so good…”
Matt's heart was racing, his breath coming in heavy pants. He loved hearing your praise, and the way you reacted to his touch. It was something he'd never felt before, and he wanted more, wanted to make you feel even better.
He kept his fingers moving and applying pressure, his gaze darting up to your face, watching your expressions. “I want you… I want you to feel… To feel so good,” he murmured, his voice a mixture of breathless and earnest.
Your noises of pleasure, your arches, and your moans, it was all driving him wild. He wanted to make you fall apart, to make you forget everything but him and whatever he was doing to you.
“You… You want to try to use your mouth?” you asked breathlessly in between the moans.
Matt's heart quickened at your request. He'd wanted to do that, too, but he hadn't been sure if you'd be okay with it. But now that you'd asked, he was more than happy to comply.
“Yes,” he responded, his voice hoarse with desire. “I… I want to. I want to taste you, too.”
He gently withdrew his fingers and slowly moved further down your body, his heart thudding in his chest. He settled between your legs, looking up at you as his breath came in hot, uneven pants against you.
As he tasted you, as he felt you against his lips, his tongue, his mind was overwhelmed. He hadn't expected this, but it was better than he'd ever imagined. You tasted sweet and tangy, and it only spurred him on.
He forgot about feeling out of his depth, he forgot about potential mistakes or awkward moments. All he wanted to do was pleasure you, to make you feel good. His tongue moved and explored, and his eyes fluttered up at you. He'd never seen you so undone, so lost in pleasure, and the knowledge that he was causing it only deepened his desire to please you more.
“God, you're so good at that,” you breathed out shakily.
Matt felt a wave of pride and pleasure wash over him at your words. He continued, his tongue moving over you, his lips applying gentle suction. Hearing your approval, feeling you respond beneath him, was intoxicating. But he was relentless, determined to bring you to the brink, to make you lose control completely.
His hands moved up, gently caressing your thighs and stomach, seeking to give you even more pleasure. He wanted you to feel good, to feel loved, to feel worshipped.
And eventually, your moans got even louder as you released on his mouth, his name on your lips like a prayer. Matt could feel your body shaking, could hear your voice as you cried out his name. It was a moment he knew he'd never forget, a moment that would be ingrained in his memory forever.
He slowly withdrew, crawling back up beside you. He couldn't seem to find his voice, his heart still hammering in his chest.
He was a little amazed at himself, too, he had to admit. He hadn't been entirely sure what he was doing, but he'd just seemed to know. He'd found a way to bring you pleasure, to send you over the edge, to make you sing his name like a song.
He found his voice again, his voice low, rough. “Was that… Was that good for you? Was I okay?” His heart was still beating fast, his body thrumming with a mix of adrenaline and pleasure.
“God, you're… You're unreal,” you panted out.
Matt couldn't help but smile at your words, the praise fueling his ego. “I… I am?” he asked, unable to hide the slight tone of smugness in his voice. He knew he should feel more humbled, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.
He reached out, gently tracing random patterns on your bare stomach as you caught your breath. “I just… I wanted to make you feel good,” he said softly.
When you came down from your high, you sat up to rest their foreheads against each other. “Are you sure you're ready?”
Matt's heart raced as you asked the question, his mind suddenly flooded with thoughts and worries. Was he ready? He had wanted this, more than anything, but now that the moment was here, he felt a twinge of fear.
He looked into your eyes, searching for reassurance. But all he saw was love, desire, and a willingness to wait if he wasn't ready yet.
He nodded, taking a shaky breath. “Yes,” he murmured. “I'm ready.”
In response, you locked their lips in a passionate kiss, one full of love.
Matt responded eagerly, his body pressing against yours as their mouths met in a passionate kiss. Every thought, every fear, was pushed aside in that moment. All that mattered was you, your breath, your lips, your bodies.
His hands found their way into your hair, tangling in the soft strands, holding you close. He poured all of his feelings, all of his desires into the kiss, his heart hammering in his chest.
Matt's breath caught in his throat as he felt your fingers slide under the waistband of his boxers, the sensation causing a shudder to run through his body. He'd been on edge ever since you'd started, his desire already at a fever pitch. But your touch, your gentle caress, only served to drive him wild.
He pulled back from the kiss to murmur against your mouth. “Please…” he whispered, his voice ragged and pleading. “Please, don't tease me anymore. I can't take it.”
You let out a shaky groan before pulling his boxers down, seeing him fully exposed for the first time. You took a moment to really take him in, your eyes full of awe and love.
Matt's cheeks burned under your gaze, feeling suddenly very exposed and vulnerable. He'd never been looked at this way before, never felt this vulnerable. But he also felt a wave of affection at the awe and love he saw in your eyes.
He met your gaze, his own eyes full of a mixture of desire and trepidation. “Is… Is it okay?” he asked softly, his voice betraying a hint of insecurity.
“You're so beautiful,” you praised breathlessly. “So perfect.”
Matt felt his heart soar at your words, the insecurities fading away and being replaced with a wave of intense love. No one had ever called him beautiful before, and certainly not perfect. He'd always felt a bit too thin, too gangly, too nerdy. But to you, he was beautiful, perfect.
He drew in a shaky breath, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “So are you,” he murmured. “Perfect, I mean.”
You reached to gently caress his cheek. “Sit up against the headboard for me.”
At your request, Matt obeyed, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. He felt bare and exposed, but he trusted you and knew that you wouldn't do anything to make him feel uncomfortable.
His gaze met yours, his heart beating fast in his chest. “Like this?” he asked, his voice a little breathless.
“Perfect,” you praised before straddling his lap once again.
Matt's breath caught in his throat as you straddled him, your body pressing against his in all the right places. His hands found your hips, his fingers gently gripping them, as if he needed something to anchor himself.
His eyes roamed over your body, appreciating every curve and contour, before coming back up to meet your gaze. “You… You look amazing,” he breathed, his voice a little huskier than usual.
The corner of your lips went up as you rested your forehead against his, just looking into his eyes for a few moments. You were so close now, the heat and electricity between them palpable. Matt found himself getting lost in your eyes, feeling a sense of calm and understanding wash over him. He could feel your breath against his lips, your body pressed against his, and it was almost too much to bear.
He reached up a hand, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers feather-light against your skin. “I… I love you,” he whispered, the words coming out almost involuntarily.
“I love you too,” you whispered back, and your eyes reflected just how much.
Matt felt your words wash over him, the depth and sincerity of your love sending a shiver down his spine. He'd always known you loved him, but hearing you say it, seeing it in your eyes… It was as if all his fears and doubts vanished completely.
He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in, letting himself bask in your love. Then, his eyes opened again, his gaze intense, and he wrapped his arms more securely around your waist. “Show me,” he whispered. “Show me how much you love me.”
“You ready?” you made sure quietly.
Matt felt a flutter of nerves mix with the desire he was feeling, but he nodded, his hands gripping your hips a little tighter. “Yes,” he breathed in response, his voice a little shaky. “I… I'm ready.”
“If anything… Just tell me, and we can stop,” you promised.
Matt nodded again, appreciating your thoughtfulness. “I will,” he assured you. “But please… Please don't stop unless I say so.”
He drew you closer, his hands sliding up to your back, gently tracing the line of your spine. “I… I want this. I want you,” he murmured, his voice a low, earnest plea.
Matt shivered slightly as your hand moved over his chest, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. His heart was beating hard, his breath coming in shaky gasps. He'd never felt this alive before, this on edge, this desperate for your touch.
His eyes tracked your hand as it moved, a small, helpless noise escaping his lips. He knew what was coming, and he was aching for it.
Finally, your hand wrapped around him, giving him a few slow pumps. Your touch was like a spark to a flame, igniting a fire within him that he hadn't known was possible. He groaned, his head falling back against the headboard, his eyes squeezing shut as the sensations washed over him.
His hips involuntarily arched into your touch, his hands gripping your hips a little tighter.
“Oh… Oh God, that feels…” he gasped, his voice choked. “That feels so good,” he managed to stutter out, his words a raw expression of pleasure.
The feeling of your hand on him was overwhelming, unlike anything he'd ever experienced. He could feel his body tensing and relaxing instinctively.
You positioned yourself above him, and you looked him in the eyes as if to ask for one last permission.
Matt's heart thudded in his chest as he looked into your eyes. He knew what was about to happen, and he wanted it, more than anything. He didn't want you to stop, he wanted you, all of you.
He nodded, his voice unsteady as he spoke. “Please,” he whispered, his breath ragged. “Please, don't stop.”
And then, you slowly started to sink down. The sensation was almost too much for Matt. It was like a wave of pleasure and heat overwhelming his entire body. He let out a low, guttural moan as you slowly sank down, inch by agonizing inch.
He clung to you, his hands gripping your hips with an almost bruising force. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips parted as he panted for breath. “Oh… Oh God,” he managed to say, the words a messy, incoherent jumble.
His mind was reeling, every thought driven out by the sheer intensity of the feeling. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before, like nothing he could have imagined. You were warm, tight, and completely surrounding him, and it was everything.
He knew he was probably being too rough, too loud, but he couldn't help it. He was utterly lost in the sensations, losing himself in you. He was yours, totally and completely, and he loved every moment.
As you bottomed out, you rested your hands on his shoulders for support. “You okay, baby?”
Matt was trying to form words, to give some sort of response, but all he could manage was a series of ragged breaths and a nod. He was trying to ground himself, to stay in control, but it was nearly impossible.
He managed to open his eyes, his gaze meeting yours. “I… I'm… I'm okay,” he gasped out, his voice thick with pleasure. “Just… Just give me a second, please.”
You felt incredible around him, almost too good. He needed a moment to adjust, to find some sort of equilibrium, or he knew he'd lose himself completely.
He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to steady himself. “You… You feel so… So good," he managed to get out between ragged breaths. He was struggling to find his voice, to express how he was feeling. “Just… Just give me a moment, please…”
“Of course. Take all the time you need,” you whispered, your hand gently caressing his cheek.
Your touch was like a soothing balm on his over-stimulated body. He closed his eyes and leaned into your hand, drawing in a shaky breath. He focused on the feeling of your fingers on his skin, your body surrounding him, anchoring himself to you. Slowly, the overwhelming sensations began to recede, replaced by a calmer, more controlled sense of pleasure.
He opened his eyes again, his gaze meeting yours. “I'm… I'm okay now,” he murmured. “You can... you can move now.”
You leaned in to press your lips against his before slowly starting to move your hips.
The feeling of your lips on his was like a jolt through his system, reigniting the fire that had been momentarily banked. He responded eagerly, his mouth moving against yours, his tongue caressing yours with an urgent need.
And then there was the movement of your hips. It was a gentle, careful circling motion, bringing him closer and closer to oblivion. Matt let out a guttural moan, his hands gripping your hips even tighter.
It was all too much, but he couldn't get enough of it. He felt like he was drowning in you, lost in the sensations of your body, your touch, your scent. He knew he was being loud, almost embarrassingly so, but he couldn't help it. He was completely yours, completely lost in you.
“Does that feel good, baby?” You asked breathlessly.
Matt could barely respond, too lost in the pleasure to string coherent words together. All he could do was nod, his voice choked off by a moan that tore its way from his throat.
He tried to form words, to tell you how good it felt, how incredible you were, but all that came out was a ragged gasp. “Y-yeah,” he managed to stutter out eventually, his voice hoarse. “Feels… Feels so good…”
You pressed their foreheads together before starting to move a little faster, moans escaping your own lips.
The change in speed made Matt's head spin. He felt like he was on the edge of an abyss, his body tensing and coiling with each move of your hips. He was a tangle of sensations, pleasure, need, and love, all swirling together.
He kept his eyes open, locking them with yours. Your moans, your ragged breaths, only amplified the sensations. He knew he was close, too close, but he didn't want it to end.
His hands left your hips, moving up to cradle your face in his hands. He needed to touch you, to feel your skin under his fingers, to hold onto you as he rode the wave of pleasure higher and higher.
“I… I'm close… I'm gonna… Oh God, I'm…”
You understood exactly what he meant, the urgency in his tone clear. Your movements became faster and more purposeful, pushing them both closer to the edge.
“I know, baby,” you whispered, your breath hot against his ear. “I know. Just let go. I've got you.”
Your words sent a shiver down his spine, the mixture of love and reassurance hitting him right in the chest. He wanted to hold on, to make this last as long as possible, but he knew it was impossible. He was on the edge, teetering on the brink of ecstasy.
“Baby…” he gasped, his voice thin and needy. “I… I'm… Oh God, I'm… I'm…”
He couldn't say the words, couldn't form the warning. All he could do was shiver as his body went rigid, waves of pleasure washing over him. He held onto you, his fingers digging into your flesh, as he rode out the aftershocks.
At the sensation of him releasing deep inside of you, you reached your climax as well, your back arching, and you let out a loud cry of his name. He felt you clenching around him, your own release as you cried out his name, and it was too much. He felt like he was being lifted into ecstasy, drowning in the sensations that swamped his body.
His hands moved to wrap around you, holding you close, feeling the tremors run through your body. He buried his face in the curve of your neck, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. “Oh God… Oh God…” he managed to say.
“I… I've never… That was…”
He couldn't complete a sentence, his mind reeling from the intensity of it all. He held onto you, feeling the rapid throb of your heartbeat against his chest, the heat of your skin against his, and the sweat that had gathered on both their bodies.
After You finally caught your breath, you looked at him, still straddling him, as you ran your hand through his hair. “Are you okay, baby?”
Matt was still reeling, his body trembling slightly from the force of his orgasm. He leaned into your touch, his eyes meeting yours.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raw. “I'm… I'm okay. I just… I need a minute. That was… Wow.”
“You were perfect,” you said softly before lifting yourself from him and falling onto the bed next to him.
He chuckled weakly, still struggling to catch his breath. “Perfect, huh? I'm pretty sure I yelled louder than you did. I think the whole neighborhood heard me,” he teased, half-joking and half-not.
You chuckled breathlessly. Matt, however, could only stare in wonder at how his seed was leaking out of you.
Matt couldn't tear his gaze away, his eyes fixed on the sight in front of him. He had never seen anything so intimate, so erotic. Without thinking, he reached out, his fingers tracing the trail of his release dribbling down your skin.
“God, you're so beautiful,” he whispered. “And I… I made a mess of you.”
Your breath hitched as he touched you, still oversensitive, but you didn't protest. He touched you delicately, his touch light and hesitant, as if he was scared to break the fragile moment. His gaze was filled with a mixture of awe and desire, staring at the evidence of what you have just shared.
“You… You look even more beautiful like this,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. “Like I've marked you as mine.”
“I am yours,” you whispered.
The words sent a wave of possessiveness through him. “Mine,” he repeated, his voice almost a possessive growl. “All mine.”
He leaned in, pressing feather-light kisses along your jawline, his hands tracing aimless patterns on your skin. “I don't want anyone else seeing you like this," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. “I don't want anyone else touching you like I do. You're mine.”
He continued to mark your skin with kisses, his mouth moving along the length of your neck and down to your collarbone. He wanted to keep you like this forever, covered in his marks, in his scent. He knew he was being selfish, but he didn't care. You were his, and he wanted the world to know it.
You let out a soft sigh, your fingers tangling into his hair.
The feel of your fingers in his hair only served to make him more possessive. He continued to kiss and nip at your skin, leaving a trail of love bites down your neck and chest.
“Mine,” he repeated, his voice almost a mantra. He wanted to keep saying it, as if by repeating it, he could make it more true. “All mine.”
“So… I take that I made your first time good?” you asked, a little jokingly.
Matt chuckled huskily, leaning back just enough to look into your eyes. “Good is an understatement,” he said, his voice still rough with desire. “That was… Mind-blowing. Life-changing.”
He paused, his gaze roaming over your body again, taking in the sight of you covered in his marks. “I think you ruined me for anyone else.”
“Well, I sure hope so,” you murmured before kissing him again.
He responded immediately, his mouth moving against yours with a desperate, needy hunger. He rolled you onto your back, pinning you beneath him, continuing the kiss with a fervor. He didn't want this moment to end, he wanted to revel in the feeling of your body under his, the taste of your mouth, the scent of your skin.
Between kisses, he managed to mutter, “You're the only one. The only one I'll ever need.”
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