#standing in front of a room of 100+ people?? totally fine

[arcane-vagabond]

I threw up this morning and now I’m suddenly not having an anxiety attack about my interview later. Go figure.

[zombii-writess]

𝙾𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎

| M! Best Friend x Fem! Chubby! Reader |

here it is y'all, PROM NIGHT WOOOO. also, apologies for posting once or twice then disappearing for weeks/months, i've been desperately looking for a job and it seems like nobody is hiring and im close to tearing my hair out AND ANOTHER THING, i've made a ko-fi account in case you guys want to tip or anything, im not 100% sure on how to use it but i've seen other people take commissions there so i might do the same thing once i am more familiar. thoughts?? anyways enough rambling tags: cute, fluff, confession unedited

ᴍᴏɴᴅᴀʏ

Finn is nervous. He's sweating up a storm as he watches you from his desk across the classroom. I bet you're wondering: What the FUCK is wrong this time? Currently he's a senior and prom is right around the corner, and he has yet to ask you if you wanted to be his date. and also confess to you

He has until Friday to ask; he knows that you don't have a date considering you've been whining about having nobody to go with. Just wait a little longer pumpkin.

Currently, it was lunch and you both decided to eat inside of a classroom, thanks to your teacher. Finn stands from his chair and reaches inside his large bag he managed to bring without you questioning it. Inside held a box filled with your favorite treats and next to it was a large, decorated poster that held the question; Will you go to prom with me?

But... seeing you laughing with your friends, the eye contact with him that follows soon after makes him freeze, cheeks heating up. He blindly shoves the poster back into his bag before you notice. He'll try again tomorrow.

And so, the struggle begins.

ᴛᴜᴇꜱᴅᴀʏ

Biting his lip, Finn taps his foot anxiously as he waits for you at your usual spot; the large oak tree that sat comfortably in front of the school. 'This kind of reminds me of those shoujo animes that [Name] makes me watch,' He thought, watching couples walk by him blushing and cuddling each other. Finn flushes at the sight before shaking his head roughly.

'Don't be ridiculous, Finn, this is real life and I'm pretty sure the rumor of confessing your love for your crush guarantees a long life together underneath this tree will NOT come true because it's a rumor, a silly, little rumor losers made up to cover the fact that their crushes will never love them back-'

"Hey Finn!"

Finn lets out a small scream as he was ripped out of his thoughts. You both stared at each other, Finn's face red from the scream and you will a large smile growing on your face. Snorting, you double over in laughter, setting a hand on Finn's shoulder, the warmth practically burning into his shirt, to steady yourself.

Finn watches as you try and contain yourself, only to break into laughter once more at his unamused expression.

Staring at you, Finn takes a breath, removing his bag from his shoulders to retrieve the poster and sweets to give to you. His hand continues to grope around which gave you the chance to calm down and watch him with a curious expression.

He hand remained empty, no hard smooth surface of the box of your sweets nor the poster. Confused, and a little bit embarrassed, Finn nervously giggles when he peaks his head into the bag only to discover... nothing. He had forgotten that he had taken everything out back home in order to not ruin them from his big ass textbooks and left in a hurry. His dumbass left them in his room!

"Finn?" You poked him arm, curious to why he was so silent. "Is something wrong?"

Finn lets out a groan, pouting at his forgetfulness. "No, nothing's wrong, just... I left something important back home."

ᴡᴇᴅɴᴇꜱᴅᴀʏ

So, yesterday was a total failure. That's fine, he still has time. Clutching the box of sweets, he hid behind his back from you, he stops in front of you and makes his move.

"[Name], I want to ask-" "Hey [Name]! Can I have the notes from Mr. Smith's class?" A voice interrupts.

Turning to the other student, you point at your bag. "Yeah, it's in my binder!" Refocusing your attention on Finn, you smiled. "You were saying?"

Finn clears his throat. "I just wanted to ask-" "[Name]! [Name]! It's not here! Are you sure it's in the binder?" The students voice whines, frantically digging through your bag. "I really need this!"

"Uhm-" Finn anxiously watches as his grip on the box gets tighter and tighter. He's running out of time; he's going to lose his nerve and back out last minute.

"Then check my folders, it should be there." You hummed in confusion. "I haven't moved it since class ended."

"Still not here, [Name]!" They groaned before opening another folder and pulled out a small stack of paper. "Oh, found it!" They laughed, thanking you before walking off.

Sighing at their behavior, you AGAIN brought your attention towards Finn. "Sorry, you wanted to ask me something?"

Finn nervously swallows, going through the whole speech in his head in the span of .3 seconds and opens his mouth. "Will you go-" "Yo, [Name]! Let's get off campus and get lunch at that new place that opened up."

Deflating, Finn watches you interact with your friend who had their arm around your shoulders, his nerves getting the best of him. Slowly, he backs away from the pair, embarrassment swallowing him whole as his pathetic attempts of trying to ask you to prom consumed his thoughts.

Waving your friend off, you tirelessly rubbed your eyes, "I am so sorry for the interruptions, Finn, what were you-" You apologized, turning to him only to find him gone.

"Finn?"

ᴛʜᴜʀꜱᴅᴀʏ

Finn sat on the floor of his room, head in hands in distress of yesterday's event. He was so embarrassed he didn't even bother asking you to prom the next day and now that the embarrassment has passed, it was already 10 pm. He would go next door and ask you in your room, but Finn thought you deserved something romantic and memorable.

You've put up with him for years, everyone didn't give him the time of day to even ask what his favorite color was. But that summer when you arrived next door, made him see that there was more to life than games and darkness. It had you.

Picking up a piece of paper and a pencil, Finn begins to write down ideas on how to ask you to prom. Maybe he could ask his friends from band to play your favorite song, and people will watch and get jealous for putting on a big show for you. Yeah, that sounds good! Dropping the pencil, he reaches for his phone and spends the next few hours planning with his friends. Finns ends of staying awake the entire night.

ꜰʀɪᴅᴀʏ

Today's the day. The day to ask you to prom once and for all. He's hiding behind the bleachers that was located in the football field, it was after school hours and he's certain that there were no practices. His friends were standing in the field waiting for you and once they begin playing their instruments, that'll be Finn's cue to come out with his poster and ask his most desired question.

Soon he hears the first few notes of your favorite song. That's his cue! Taking a deep breath and exhaling to ease his nerves, he fiddles with the corner of the poster before revealing himself, eyes filled with love and hope. Coming from behind the bleachers with a big smile he approaches only for the smile to be wiped from his face once he sees chaos.

One of his friends was arguing with the football coach, apparently the football team decided to have practice last minute, you were standing between the two of them, trying your best to resolve the issue. And you want to know how this day can't get any worse?

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Though Finn made the preparations to make this promposol as smooth as it can, he didn't bother to check the weather. Everything had gone to shit. His friends, who wasn't arguing with the football coach, looked at Finn for help on what to do, his poster ripped from the rain soaking it, his nicely done hair that took him almost all morning was soaked, and everybody was pissed on what to do.

Pissed, everyone walked away, the ones who weren't even involved in the shouting match, awkwardly walked away. Only one stayed.

You.

Finn choked on his breath and reframed from bursting out in frustrated tears. His eyes burned, but alas, tears slipped by and down his cheeks, mixing in with the drops of rain. Clenching his fist, Finn harshly rubs his eyes. Worried, you took placed a hand on his back, rubbing it in small circles.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, Finn." You comforted.

Finn shakes his head, sniffling. "No, it's not. I-I wanted this to be perfect, but it seems like luck is not on my side."

"What was it you wanted to do?" You asked gently.

"I..." Finn bites his lip. "I wanted to ask you to be...m-my date for prom."

The air leaves your lungs, heart beating in your ears at the information. Opening your mouth to speak, Finn beats you to it.

"You've done so, so much for me, tha-that I wanted to make this memorable for you." Finn stutters, tears now freely streaming down his face. "You deserve so much more an-and everything has gone to shit!"

He takes a couple of breathes before continuing. "It's so hard to ask you upfront because you make me freeze, and then I get nervous and back out then kick myself for being so entranced by you!"

"Finn,"

"Every time you say my name, it takes all my will power to not kiss you, whenever you talk about your friends, I get jealous because I want you to talk about me like that - to LOOK at me like that."

"Finn!"

"God, I love you so much, i-it hurts, I'm sorry for saying this so suddenly, but I-"

"FINN!" He shuts up, eyes puffy as he stares at your trembling form. Reaching a hand to cup his cheek, you wipe his tears with a soft smile.

"I like you too, you silly goose, and I would love to be your date for prom."

Letting out a small whimper, Finn scoops you into a warm hug, face buried between the junction of your shoulder and neck, a weak attempt to stifle any sobs of happiness. The weight of asking you to prom and confessing had been lifted from his shoulders and Finn could finally relax.

"Thank you... [Name]." Finn sniffles.

Like my work? Buy me a ko-fi! (´・ω・`)

[yeahtimesten]

How Your Relationship Started With Patrick, Art, or Tashi

As much as it pains me to say it because I’m such a slow burn girly, I think Patrick moves quick in relationships. I know he gives the impression that he’s a player and doesn’t like to get tied down. And maybe that’s what he thinks he’s doing. But really, I think he develops crushes quickly and dates around because he appreciates the art of connecting with people. And I think when he finds a person worth the trouble, he fixates on them with total earnest. He wants to take you on like three dates a week as soon he realizes he likes you. He’s not only quick to get you in bed, but also to ask you to be official with him. He wants to make it clear asap that you are just for him, and he’s just for you. If you insist on taking it slow, he’ll oblige. If you tell him you only want to be fwb or a casual relationship, fine then. But really, if you give him the opening, he’ll be on the topic of marriage and babies in no time. At first, he’s raising red flags with your friends who think he’s love bombing you. But like, he actually loves you, and he eventually proves it to your friends just how down bad he is for you. He’s the total definition of “talking stage? just move in babe we can talk at home.”

Art on the other hand? He takes his sweet ass time. For one, he loves the dance of courtship. Bringing you flowers, opening doors for you. He was raised to be respectful, to be a gentleman. But, I also think he’s scared of rejection and he’s not quick to pick up on reciprocated feelings. He’ll be so respectful, so patient, that maybe you’ll figure he’s not interested and he’s just a nice guy that wants to be your friend. But my god, he’s pining, he’s yearning. His skin burns *so good* if you brush past him or set your hand on his knee. He’s scared to make a real move. Maybe, he even watches you go through a painful break up with another man and is ready to pick up the pieces when you give him the chance. He wants to scream ‘I’m right here! In front of you. Look at me. Don’t make me say it, I’m so in love with you.’ I picture that it takes him a good year to finally confess his feelings. You’ll laugh, and he’ll get totally taken aback, sad, ashamed. But then you’ll say something like ‘what took you so long?’ A wave of relief will wash over him and only then will he be ready to ACTUALLY start the courting process. And the rest of your relationship will be him treating you like he’s still trying to win your heart.

Tashi? Ha. Yearning is too delicate. Whatever she goes through is much more disgusting. The scene in the movie where Art tells her Patrick doesn’t love her and she gets mad and asks if she ever said she needed him to love her (not verbatim lol), my heart breaks for her. I interpret that as her defense mechanism 100%. I wish I knew why, but I see that as she doesn’t think she deserves love. And that’s how she navigates her love life. “Love is 28 different things……. There’s fear and jealousy and revenge, control…” I think being in love is sort of a foreign feeling for her. And, especially if you’re a girl, it’s confusing for her to navigate. When you meet, you probably think she hates you, she acts totally cold to you. You wonder why she hangs around you so often. But you catch her reading a non-academic book that you finished reading about a week ago. And she asks to study with you after class. And she wants to borrow a couple of CDs she sees in your dorm room. And otherwise she’s extremely nosey about all your possessions. One night, she texts to you come to her dorm as soon as possible, and bring ice cream. And because you love her, despite being so confused on where you stand with her, you stop at the closest convenience store to grab her favorite ben and jerry’s (you did your own research, unbeknownst to her) and rush to her side. She’s distraught and she’s not opening up about it at all. You both eat your ice cream with a side of small talk. Eventually, after you poke and prod and offer her some stories about your life, she opens up, not about her feelings, but about her life as well. Growing up, her love for tennis, her other interests. She tells you she really enjoyed that book you were reading, but doesn’t admit she read it because of you. It gets late and you aren’t ready to go home but she looks sleepy and you offer to let her sleep and quietly she says ‘you can stay’ when you’re already halfway out the door. She doesn’t even think she wanted you to hear. But you did, and you join her on her twin sized bed. And for a beat, your laying squished awkwardly like sardines side by side until you adjust your arm above her head, and that’s all the invite she needs to readjust and rest her head on your chest. And without thinking you run your fingers through her hair. And she’s practically purring, until she’s snoring in your arms. That’s when you realize this was never about her hating you.

[kalikalahansa]

Hey Kali,

I recently found your old blog but after everything had been archived. I read your post most recent post and was wondering if you were still okay to answer some untraining questions? (Totally 100% understand if not though).

I (24f) have been 24/7 for 6 years now, untraining bladder for 2/3 years. While I use my diapers for everything I've never gotten past messing standing up. In contrast I'm a heavy bed wetter and rarely notice much if any signal to wet during the day. I've decided it's time to properly take a look at complete incontinence since everyone already perceives me as such and I won't be leaving diapers!

I was wondering if there was any advice you could give to help with getting over the initial hurdle for untraining my bowels?

Again totally and completely understand if you've moved away from these sort of topics. Thank you :))

Hey, anon. I have a few pieces of advice.

Make sure you're wearing diapers that have performance and fit characteristics that would make you feel comfortable messing them. Early in my own untraining I was wearing Molicare Super Plus diapers that fit fine and were perfectly fine for wetting but fit really tightly over the butt. You need a diaper that has some room in the butt without being loose and that also has a high back.

Make sure your clothes provide adequate room and support. One thing that made me feel more comfortable messing my diapers was wearing bib-and-brace overalls under my other clothes when the weather permitted, because it meant there was something to support and catch my diaper without wrapping very tightly around it. I've since realised I'm a woman, which means I can and/or do dress in ways that are typically associated specifically with women; if I had the chance now I would have picked A-line skirts and tights, most likely. Up to you what you think is best.

Take an internal deodorant. I make the same two recommendations every time I have reason to mention them: bismuth subgallate and chlorophyllin. They won't help you get over the initial hurdle, but when they're effective in controlling the smell, they reduce the friction that encourages you to stop trying to untrain messing.

Change your diet. I've been delaying responding to a few questions which involve this as an answer because I want to compile my research on diet and untraining but I just haven't had time. The short version is it will help immensely if you

drink more water

eat more fibre

avoid red meat because it'll make your poop smell

avoid consistently consuming foods that you know cause diarrhoea, since the point is to get better at messing from your previous baseline voluntary standpoint, not to make yourself have painful accidents/gut disruption that you can't sustain

Dietary changes are tremendously important because as I recall even from a continent standpoint they're the difference between having to put in a lot of mechanical effort to mess and just being able to kind of gently push and have it come out. Since part of messing untraining is configuring your body so that the gentle push of autonomic peristalsis is sufficient to deal with your messing, positive dietary changes are to your advantage.

Even though you're already a long-term diaper wearer and partially untrained, I know that for some people in the same circumstances, nerves about messing their diapers can be a real stumbling block. My advice is to have an accident about it. If you have nerves about messing your diapers in front of anyone in particular, make yourself do it at least once. If you can't do it voluntarily, do it involuntarily. This is one of the few sets of circumstances in which I think (judicious and careful) use of stimulant laxatives is an acceptable tool. Not because they're a healthy long-term way to make yourself have accidents or anything — they're not, in fact quite the opposite — but because I genuinely think the biggest hurdle with confronting messing under circumstances that make you nervous about it is having it happen and surviving it. Once that's happened it doesn't seem like nearly as much of a threat.

[spaceageloveblog]

So I went a 100 gecs concert.

They are a group I discovered recently. I saw they were coming to Hard Rock Live down at Universal Orlando. I wanted to go. I didn't think she would want to go with me. I felt weird going by myself. Well, not weird going by myself. I was perfectly comfortable going by myself. I guess I felt weird revealing myself to her as being willing to go by myself. I have played some of their songs for her and the kids. I think she thought some of them were good. But I could tell this wouldn't be something she would want to go to. I asked. She said no. I said I'd go by myself. She said that was weird.

She is always doing things. Hey, what are your plans for Thursday? Can you handle soccer practice and dinner with the kids? I am going out with this friend or coworker or whoever. It's fine. I don't mind. More than that, it's good. I relish my time with the kids. And she and I should have our own things. My own things end up being things I do on my own like running or listening to music.

I say she's always doing things, but it's more like once or twice a month. Maybe three times. Rarely three times. It's like 1.5 times per month on average. It's great. She has friends. I don't have friends. Well, I have my friends from high school in Youngstown or college in Cincinnati or grad school and various places in Florida that if we went out for drinks would we have a great time. Or if I called them and said I needed to talk about something important, they would drop everything and call me. But I never need to talk about anything important. I get along great with my coworkers and her friends' husbands and other dads on my kids' soccer teams, but I don't hang out with them on my own. I am living the cliche I noticed my dad and the other dads around me living when I was a kid.

So she is totally supportive that I do things. If I said I am going to have dinner with a friend on a Thursday and asked if she could cover soccer practice and dinner with the kids, she would enthusiastically say yes. So I asked if she could manage soccer practice and dinner for the kids last Thursday so I could go to the 100 gecs show. And she said it was weird but said yes. So I went.

Parking at Universal is the same for theme parks as for the City Walk which is where Hard Rock Live is located. Pulling into the parking structure around 7:30p, a half hour before the opener was scheduled to go on, I was obviously arriving at a similar time to others attending the show. I chuckled to myself a few times taking the 20 or so minute walk from my car to the venue, seeing tourist families dressed as superheroes and minions walking next to gecs fans dressed as frogs and goths.

After getting through the doors, using the restroom, getting myself a $13 pre-tip large Heineken draft, I got to the main floor right at 8p as the opening act, Machine Girl, took the stage. I was a near the bar at the back, in an elevated section behind the bands' tech crew with mixing boards and whatever, in the second row of standing room folks with a good view. I had planned on navigating the place for a while before settling in, but this spot was pretty good and I ended up sticking near here.

Machine Girl was (were?) insanely loud. Glad I brought earplugs. Kept them on for the entirety of their 30 minute set. Not sure which genre you'd call their music, and scrolling through their albums on Apple Music isn't particularly helpful since each one is categorized as something else. Call them electronic non-dance if you will. They were fine. The lead singer certainly got into it, good for him, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

Gecs went on just after 9p and I was now against the railing in the front row of that standing room section, as the people in front of me vacated their spots between sets, so I stayed there for the duration. I had finished my beer before they started, so I'd thought for a moment of moving up into that crowd but decided against that because my view was so good.

Part of me going to this show--and maybe trying to go to more shows by myself if she isn't interested--is to recapture a bit of my youth if I'm being honest. I similarly tried to recapture my youth 10 years ago was with Sleigh Bells. I saw them on SNL, playing songs from their 2nd album, thinking they were original and cool. I listened to their 2 albums non-stop (already feeling late the party being one album behind and 10 years too old, with 2 young kids at home and one on the way). Less than a year later, we moved to Orlando and they released a 3rd album and we went to their show. We sat in a couch in a "VIP" area. I wished I could get up and dance but she wasn't as into it so I stayed seated. Looking back I can't believe how old I felt 10 years ago. 10 years from now I will probably feel the same looking back on myself now.

So I didn't go out into the crowd at the gecs show and dance but at least I went to the show. They played all the songs from their new album. They opened with "Dumbest Girl Alive" and "757." I thought the energy was highest for "Hollywood Baby" about midway through, they should probably close with that. "Frog on the Floor" and "I Got My Tooth Removed" were crowd favorites too. The played plenty of old stuff too, otherwise they couldn't fill an hour. I have just listened to their new album so much, I was able to identify each of those 10 songs. The latest of the new songs was "mememe," sandwiched in between a few of their older songs. I think they would have sounded better with a live band but I'm old so of course I would say that. But they only have to split the money 2 ways, so good for them.

I dunno, I'd like to start going to more shows. My ears took a few days to recover despite the earplugs. Part of me daydreamed that I'd talk to some people and start to make Orlando friends to go see live music with, but I didn't talk to anyone. I probably could have struck up some conversations with the people around me between sets. But that's when I was hit with a tinge of feeling weird, the standing there by myself as a the old guy at the show who came by himself. The going there, the getting in, that didn't feel weird. That 30 minutes between sets I felt weird standing their as the old guy. But I moved to the music when they played and even sang along to a some of my favorite lyrics. So I enjoyed myself. I probably would have drank more but I didn't want to lose my spot.

She would go with me to nearly anything if we had seats. So I need to plan accordingly on that for some of the mellower bands I like. We could get dinner first and make a date out of it. We'd both like it. She doesn't like the standing in the crowd thing. It's weird though, I think she likes dancing more than me, we just don't dance together. We used to in college. But not now. I think we'd both like to dance together more but don't know how to talk about it.

So I went to a 100 gecs concert and maybe that's the start of something.

[becameundone]

( nakamoto yuta. cis man. he/him. bisexual. ) ⇝ hey, isn’t that tomo katsumura? i think that the twenty-nine year old from los angeles, usa works as a film actor (currently transitioning to stage work at the single carrot theatre), but outside of that people describe them as dancing cigarette smoke illuminated by flashing city lights; neon rays in red and blue; the glow of an old tv set in a dark room; bottles of fizz and bags of shimmer; the rattling chime of silver jewellery. i hear they are erratic & impulsive, but they are also known to be charming & energetic. consider giving them a visit at their home in the marionette and get to know why they’re called the burnt-out star.

TW: drugs & alcohol, car crashes, mental health issues (incl. suggestions of derealisation), stalking, parental death/suicide

FAIR WARNING BEFORE WE GET ANY FURTHER. This is a NOT a brief, snappy post (it's almost 3k words). Maybe I could have tried a little harder to write a more concise summary but I really have a lot to say about Tomo. He's my favourite OC! (Also, I feel like there's a lot in this backstory that it felt wrong to just gloss over, if I want anyone to believe I'm trying to be at all sensitive.)

BASICS.

Tomo's full name is actually Tomoaki Katsumura (勝村智秋) but he prefers to go by Tomo Katsumura (勝村智). Pretty much the only person allowed to call him Tomoaki is his grandma. He also doesn't really take well to nicknames unless they're approved by him. He just really feel like Tomo is his name 100%.

Also, he's besties with Min! They originally met in London before both separately winding up in Anchorage (coincidences, eh??) and becoming very close. There's more detail about this in Min's intro!

He speaks both English and Japanese fluently, and doesn't really consider one to be his native tongue over the other. He's been entirely bilingual his whole life and spent large chunks of his childhood living in Osaka, Japan with his grandmother. He has been known to use Osaka-ben (dialect) when speaking Japanese. For a variety of reasons, Tomo also attended middle school/junior high in Osaka.

For the most part, Tomo’s a friendly and energetic guy! When he’s at his best, he’s great company. He likes to stand out in a crowd, has a winning smile and enjoys attention but also knows when to step back and look out for other people.

He’s kind of an emotional wreck. He does his best not to show it on the surface and the whole…being a good actor thing probably helps with that but, beneath the top layers of Sparkly Glam Tomo, shit’s all scrambled up. He doesn’t really know what to make of himself. Acting and having friends present are the only things, he believes, keeping him grounded and together.

Yet he’s pretty good at pretending shit’s fine, he’s still weirdly positive for a guy who feels all messed up — maybe he gets away with it because he’s a good actor. He’s the kind of guy who can have a full-on breakdown in his room by himself and then just reappear & ask you if you wanna go for ice cream because, hey, he’s bored. Basically, OKAY, that’s done with, that already happened. It’s OVER.

He doesn’t like crying in front of people which is rough bc he’s emotional ALL the time. He’s a total crybaby when he’s drunk. If you drink with him, there WILL be a point at which you have to scoop him up off the floor because he’s found something over which to start weeping. OR he’ll end up calling you to panic about how he can’t find his way home, only for him to realise like 5 minutes later he’s phoning you from the steps outside his apartment building.

He doesn’t like dating because…well, he likes the IDEA of it but he’s the type to really fall for someone and BASICALLY? He’s scared of being dumped! He’s a bright & appealing personality with just enough edge to balance it out but he’s a bit of an emotional screwball and he feels like getting people interested is easier than keeping them interested, leading to mixed experiences with dating so he’s…kinda…settled for sleeping around a little instead. Oh well, whatever works! (does it actually work? shhhh it’s a secret…)

Tomo is a competent singer. This is because, growing up, his mother made him take singing lessons in the hopes that he might follow in her idol footsteps. He was not in the least bit interested but it was fun enough for him not to complain about it (not that it would’ve helped).

He’s not very good at watching himself in films. It depends on the film and he can do it but uhhhh let’s just say he once watched the one horror film he was in at the cinema (and didn’t like most of it bc he’s a wuss about that sort of thing) but he laughed during his own death scene. There were tears in his eyes. Real tears.

He’s very much involved in the party scene, whatever country he’s in. it’s not something he talks about much (privately, i mean, bc DUH he doesn’t say it publicly) but he doesn’t exactly avoid drugs in anyway. It's all pretty casual and he only really does it at parties but he has been known to do coke and ecstasy and other stimulants. Will NOT touch weed. Don't ask. He does smoke cigarettes though and he’s a little dependent on that.

I guess he got involved in that kinda thing deliberately because he wants to distance himself from the clean-cut, shiny heartthrob pretty boy image as much as possible. Eventually, it just became a natural way of de-stressing and dealing with the constant frustration of his career. The unfortunate consequence of that is that he’s now got a bit of a Bad Boy/Wild Child image and he’s not entirely sure he likes that either. (The shift in image also means that some journalists will talk about him as though he’s ‘gone off the rails’ and, yeah, he hates that as well.)

BACKSTORY & EARLY CAREER

Tomo was the centre of scandals from Day One; born to a young American actor and a Japanese pop idol, he was the catalyst for his parents' shotgun marriage. Their marriage would only last about a decade with the pair divorcing when Tomo was around ten years old and his mother winning primary custody.

His mother, Mitsuko Furuya, was born in Japan and debuted as an idol in her teens. She was successful enough for her company to drag her abroad, just to test the waters. It was here that she fell for Ken Katsumura. Her pregnancy ended her career for several years and she would not return to the spotlight until Tomo was a teenager. Her relationship with Tomo is strained and they can't see eye to eye. She tried to push Tomo to follow her footsteps as a pop idol from a young age but he was only interested in acting.

His father, Ken Katsumura, was an actor-turned-director. He was a troubled person and an absent husband who put his work first, and this led to Mitsuko filing for divorce some years into their marriage. That, and the final admission that their early infatuation hadn't been love and their marriage had been for convenience all along. He poured himself further into his work while his mental health continued to deteriorate, falling into depression and alcoholism, and eventually killed himself at the age of 36. Tomo was thirteen years old at the time.

Tomo moved about a lot growing up, specifically back and forth between LA and Osaka (where his mother's family lived). He also lived in Japan and attended school there between the ages of 10 and 13. His mother had taken the divorce as an opportunity to return home and revive her career, focusing now on becoming a TV personality. During this time, he lived with his grandmother in Osaka while his mother was busy in Tokyo. They moved back to the States following his father's death.

He started acting professionally when he was sixteen, mostly with a few smaller TV roles but he had good connections and was able to get a small but still substantial role in the film directed by a friend of his dad. His big break, however, came at age 18 when he landed a leaded a role in the main cast of high school drama.

It was exciting at first, being on TV and being famous, but he soon found hated both the show and his character so the whole thing got tired fast. One of his biggest issues with the tv show was that he didn’t like being sold as a product / character that wasn’t anything like him, being shown off as this squeaky clean teen heartthrob type and not being allowed to have his own emotions & tastes.

His contract prevented him from quitting when he liked (and the writers were ‘stubbornly’ unwilling to kill his character off; he thought it’d be fun to act out) and he was signed on for a third season of the show. Tomo decided he might as well take things into his own hands went out of his way to get himself fired. It was his first act of public rebellion and, by design, his first criminal offence. He was twenty years old when he staged his own arrest for DUI. Being a minor, he didn’t need to drink much to get in trouble and he wasn’t drunk at the time. In order to ensure hje was noticed, Tomo drove his car into a tree, The crash awarded him with a broken arm and a suspended license but, more importantly, it got him fired.

However, the solution to one problem was the direct cause of countless others. He continued to take what roles he could, swearing off television entirely, but the opportunities were slim. His DUI stunt had scared off any producers that might have offered him clean, inoffensive work off the back of his breakout role and that very same role meant he was overlooked by more serious directors; he was simultaneously too dirty and too clean. The media had gotten hold of his story too, twisting it into the sort of drama that assured the public would see him as just another child actor gone wrong.

LATER CAREER

Tomo was twenty-two when he finally moved back to Japan, aiming to become an actor there instead. It was his way of leaving Hollywood behind and recreating himself anew, aided of course by his existing acting credits and (although he was not proud of it) a few connections provided by his mother. And it worked. In less than a year, they'd made a star of him. He'd even go on to win awards including Japan Academy’s Newcomer of the Year and Blue Ribbon’s Best Newcomer. He'd become a heartthrob again, and for real this time, but the work he was being offered was serious and compelling. Somehow, his risk-taking had paid off.

He would continue like this for the next few years. His relationship with his mother would continue to worsen as his career outshined hers to the point that people stopped asking him about her in interviews. He dove headfirst into Tokyo's clubbing culture, getting drunk and doing drugs and sleeping around behind close doors, away from the prying eyes of gossip rags. It was a careful balancing act; any hint at all of how he behaved was enough to destroy a career in Japan beyond all hope of repair. There was a clear divide between the Public and the Private and it was started to break cracks in Tomo's mind. Who was he really? Was the Public Tomo just another role but one he was forced to play as long as he lived?

Then, the stalker made themselves known. It was subtle at first, no different from other boundary breaking fans of that ilk; phone calls from strange numbers and doorbells rung at night. Tomo moved to a new apartment and the problems went away. At first. Then, the letters came. He stopped reading them early on. But then a package came and curiosity took over. Photographs. Photographs of Tomo. At first they were fairly ordinary pictures of Tomo in his private time. Unsettling, sure, but his team told him to ignore it. Then there were new photographs. Photographs that could ruin his career if they fell into the wrong hands. A letter that chastised him for ignoring the writer, threatened him if he continued to be so 'cold and distant'. The letters before had been just as overfamiliar, as though addressing a friend or some unreliable lover, and with the same level of accuracy and detail. Another letter came a few days later; they were just kidding, they just wanted to spook him. They liked sharing secrets with him. Sometimes they wouldn't send a letter at all, just an envelope containing a single photograph. Snorting coke. Kissing boys. The kinds of things a heartthrob shouldn't be doing.

This pushed an already on edge Tomo to his limits; if a total stranger could know all this about him, was he a real person at all? Or was he just some exciting character to be consumed by the public? Was the private life he'd thought so hard to keep hidden just a plot twist waiting to be revealed? He grew paranoid. Agitated. Couldn't sleep. Got a little too high every time. Every wrong move could be used against him. The stalker could be anywhere and they could be anyone. Those around him noticed the change in Tomo's behaviour but, because it was easier not to rock the boat, they left it alone. The only person willing to express concern was the stalker. You're not sleeping enough, their letters would say, you're not eating properly. Only one person cared about him and he was afraid of them.

It all came to a head a months later. Late 2021. A movie premiere. Tomo was the star, stood next to the director himself, and basking in the light of camera flashes. A sign in the audience caught his eye. It was handwritten; the words written there were benign enough but the handwriting was familiar. Tomo had seen it again and again and again. His head spun. The audience were gone to him, the cameras were non existent. All he could see was that bright red cardboard sign. Before it was even his turn to speak, he leaned into the microphone and said in a low, clear voice, 'Get away from me. Leave me the fuck alone." When they tried to take the microphone from him and his manager stepped in, it quickly escalated into yelling and snapping. He thrust a finger in the stalker's direction, his voice thick with agitation as he demanded his manager look at the sign. Look at the big red sign. But, when Tomo looked to see where he was pointing, there was no sign in sight. He didn't notice the tears streaming down his cheeks until they started dripping from his chin.

The rumours were quick to start swirling; had Tomo Katsumura lost his mind? Then came the rumours that he was doing drugs, that people had seen him around clubs and the like. There was no evidence, of course, and these were only the whisperings of ordinary people so there was no danger of people knowing whether or not that was true but his reputation had taken a hit. His agency's reputation was damaged too, as their ability to take care of their talent's mental health was thrown into question. Tomo's team advised him to lay low for a while until it all blew over and everyone forgot about his strange behaviour over the last little while. It came like a slap to the face. Acting was the only thing that kept Tomo grounded. He needed it. But they gave him a clear ultimatum; take the hiatus or else we'll drop you. It was his manger who suggested he go back to America and rest a while.

He returned to Los Angeles with his tail between his legs but still he managed to swallow his pride and go back to his mother's place. He didn't have his own place to stay anymore so, although he dreaded the lectures he'd get for making a mess of his career, he sucked it up and went home. There was no lecture; what ensued instead was the worst argument they'd ever had. He tries to stay with his manager, who'd gone back to LA with him, for a while but he feels no safer in Hollywood than he did in Tokyo. His fame still haunts him like a spectre, sucking him dry. On an impulse, he leaves. He runs off to Anchorage, figuring it's far away enough from everything else that he might finally find peace for a while. The only person he tells is his manager, who returns to Japan, and they both swear to keep his location strictly secret.

CURRENT LIFE

For the most part, Tomo is living off his existing earnings. Royalties from existing work, from modelling and brand deals he'd been allowed to maintain during his hiatus. It's a boring way to live, especially for someone with so much energy and such a consuming need to keep busy, but it's better than living each day just moments from falling apart. You'd think living in a place like Anchorage would ensure he still felt unsafe and, honestly, it does! But it's different. He's not being targeted. Nobody's putting the spotlight on him. If he were to die here, he'd just be the same kind of dead nobody as everybody else.

Recently, he's started helping out at the Single Carrot Theatre. He doesn't work there officially but he likes to volunteer to help with backstage stuff, just as an excuse to hang around. He's not sure it's a good idea for him to return to acting just yet, doubts it's a good idea to put him into some character's headspace when he's not even sure he's really in his own, and theatre isn't the same as film but he wants to stay as close to the thing he loves most as he can. It's not unusual to find him hanging around there, even if he's just wasting time.

Otherwise, he's still very involved in Anchorage's nightlife. Naturally dazzling, it's easy for him to be life of any party. All things considered, Tomo's still a bit of an attention seeker.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#259

“Seth? Right? C’mon in. Your brother told you who I am? Good. Want a beer?... Here you go. Let’s go out to the back deck. The sun went down, and the cool evening air is starting to kick in. Have a seat…. Ok. Seth, do you know why you are here? Let me be blunt. Your brother David owes me a lot of money. A lot. He’s been doing jobs for me that I need someone I can trust to do. But that’s barely covering the interest. I told him he needs to start working down the principal. So, he offered me… you….

“That’s right he sold you to me. You are going to whore off his debt…. Shut the fuck up. The deal is set. Have some more beer; it will help you to deal with what I need to go over with you….

“Your brother probably told you that I am a powerful man. Hopefully he didn’t tell you what I did. I will share with you one part of my business that you will be a part of. I have several whore agencies across several states. They ain’t like the whorehouses in the movies. The girls never see money; they show up at a set time and do whatever the man wants. They do not say no. They get to live in city, and they show their clients the best the city has to offer. They have everything paid for and get a nice credit card too.

“A few years ago—hell it’s more like ten or so, —I was convinced to do the same but on the fag side. Now, I knew nothing about fag sex, and it disgusted me. Once I got over the visuals, the business was just like the girls. The difference I found out was that I had to have two sets of whores—fag boys like yourself, and men old enough to be your father.

“It was Frankie, one of my goons, who told me that there is a lot money to be made by men taking the dominant role. I didn’t believe it. So, he arranged for me to watch him from a distance him work over this faggot. He didn’t tell me how much he was earning. When I saw this fag hand over three hundred bucks, I knew I needed to get into this. I mean my guy did barely anything other than smack the fag around, call him names, and sit on the faggot’s face at the end. That fag ate that fat ass while pounding its pud. Frankie even went over to the fag’s wallet and took an additional hundred out of it. And wouldn’t you know, that fag boy was loving life.

“Needless to say, that was how I got into the fag whoring business. I had Frankie lead it; he even got somewhat in shape, and now he’s my most popular whore men. Wait a minute, you know him. He fucked you behind a dumpster in the alley behind that fag bar a couple weeks ago. When I saw you at David’s birthday partner at my tavern and he told me that you were his sperm burping brother, I sent Frankie to find out more about you. I know that you can take a good pounding, face slaps, rough housing. Frankie also told me that you cleaned off his cock after we was done and that you drank his piss. You even begged him for more as he walked away from you, naked covered in piss behind the dumpster. That’s all I needed to hear.

“After meeting with your brother, all I had to do was press the massive debt. I knew how self-serving he was. He sold you out so fucking fast. And now I own you. Now strip faggot….

“You do realize who I am? No one ever disobeys one of my direct commands. Now think about your next move real carefully. STRIP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. Take your time standing up. That drug I put in your beer will make you kinda dizzy if you stand too fast. Yeah, I didn’t want you to run back to your car. Kid, when you came in that door, you were mine. That’s it. Accept your fate. Good boy.

“Yeah, after Frankie roughed up that fag, I was curious. He arranged for me to use one of his regulars who was blindfolded. It was so much fun to kick and punch that faggot only to have him crawl to me, begging for more. With each time, I got more wicked, and they wanted more. I had a few fags over the years locked up and had the best of all worlds. My wife provides me with companionship. My girlfriend offers sensual making love and snuggling. And my faggot takes all my rage filled abuse.

“Underwear needs to go too. Let’s see what you have. Not bad. Looks like you are excited about being naked in front of me. That’s a lot of pre-cum. Decent sized balls. I’d say you are about six inches long. The shaft is a bit thin, but the head is good size. Your foreskin is not too long. That’s good. If there’s going to be one sweaty stinky dick around here, it will be mine. If yours becomes a problem, we’ll get you circumcised.

“What? Faggot, you are nothing more to me than my pickup. If I want to modify you out, I sure as hell am going to. I modify all my property. Tattoos, piercing, permanent hair removal, castration, branding, and so on. But actually, I am a bit cautious. I made the mistake of castrating a fag and regretted it afterwards. He just didn’t seem right to me. The cutter I went to tried to put in fake balls, but it still didn’t seem right. I ended up replacing that fag with another.

“I am looking for my perfect fag. I’m planning on letting my girlfriend go, but sometimes I need that close touch. Not going to do that with my wife. Every day now I realize that I want to be with faggots over women. Faggots are so much easier to mold into what I want. And every now and then I might snuggle with one.

“I like what I see. I want to see your cumload. Jerk off for me. I’ll give you a few minutes to do so. When you do, shoot in your spare hand. I want to see the quantity. I’m going to get your collar; it’s probably done charging. I’m also going to take your car keys. You ain’t going anywhere. Continue jacking….

“….Did you cum? You did! Good fag. When was the last time you came? Yesterday morning? Well that’s a good load. Here, lock this collar around your neck. Ok, so here’s the deal. You can jack off as often as you like, whenever you like as long as I am not using you. If I catch you jacking off, don’t stop. If you are watching porn, continue. But know this, no matter if you haven’t cum in days or you just had a massive orgasm, should I require your use, I fully expect 100% horniness and enthusiasm.

“This remote is hooked up to your collar. With this button… you fall to the floor just like that. Hurt’s like a mother fucker hunh? That’s on low. Remember that. It is also set up to shock you should you cross a 20-foot perimeter of the house. I am notified by an app on my phone when you do something that stupid. Also, the garage and my office on the third floor are completely off limits. You will not fare well should you cross that threshold without me.

“Bring your cock over here. Is your dick head sensitive. It is! Fuck yes! As you get soft, it’s driving you crazy. Good. Good. I see a problem here. Your pubic hair is all over the place. You shouldn’t have hair down here. Look how long this hair is. There’s enough so that I can twirl a bunch around my finger. With a firm yank,… it comes out in one clump. Aww shut the fuck up. Most of the time your screams of pain will turn me on, but now it’s just annoying. Another clump on the other side, and it doesn’t even look like you lost any.

“Look at me faggot. Say ‘Thank you.’ Good fag. Open your mouth. Here eat your pubic hair. Go on chew it. Nasty? I know, now swallow. And here’s… another bunch. Swallow these…. And these… And these… You’ll be permanently shaved in the near future so you won’t have to do much pubic hair eating.

“While you finish your snack, let me take you around the place and show you your duties. This is the kitchen. David told me that you went to culinary school but then dropped out. Well, you will be doing all the cooking here. Cleaning too.

“Let’s go downstairs…. This is your room, although you really don’t have privacy. Over there is your cot. Next to it is the plug you will put into your collar every night. I am notified on my app should the power level drop below 75%. That’s equivalent for not charging for a full week. Unless I just slam you with shocks, I should never get one of those notifications.

“You have a wash basin there, and your toilet is there. There’s your douche hose over there in the shower. No, I haven’t gotten around to buying it a toilet seat; the cold porcelain is fine. And I haven’t hooked up the hot water down here.

“Let’s go up to the Master bedroom…. You never climb into my bed unless I invite you in. In fact no non-sexual furniture for you either without permission. Through that door is the master bath. You will keep this place spotless. That includes licking clean my toilet. The rimseat next to it is when I want to make you toilet paper or a full toilet.

“And here’s the playroom. It’s totally soundproofed. You are going to suffer a lot in here. Screaming is encouraged. In fact, what time is it? Seven. Well we might as well start now. Get on all fours—knees and elbows. Spread those knees wide. Every night you will present yourself in this position, as you will every morning.

“Don’t get too excited. I am going to fuck you good, long, and deep. But that won’t until the end. We got a long way to go. You see, the only people who knows my affinity for preferring the boys to the girls are Frankie, me, and now you. Your brother thinks I’m adding you to my harem of fags. This is something that cannot get out. And if it does, I will know it came from you, and I want you to know the perpetual hell that will come your way.

“Tonight is a test of what you can expect, but keep in mind, tonight’s suffering will be only five hours long, much shorter than what will be if my preference is ever widely known.

“And after the paddling your ass to a welted mess, whipping your back until it turns to bloody hamburger, kicking your balls until they are swollen to twice their size, bruising up your face, and fucking you with very little lube, I may feel the need to snuggle up with you afterwards.

“But first, there’s a lot to do before we do that. Oh look your balls are just ripe for a good old fashioned full-force kick. Every night and every morning you will get one to always remind you what you are.

“Faggot right now with this kick your hell begins.”

[spilledkauffie]

SFW (Fluff) Alphabet · Zemo

List made by @caitlinpotter || Sorry I’ve been so absent this week; I promise I have content for the weekend!

*xFemale!Reader || NSFW Alphabet ❤︎

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Quite affectionate— he loves giving you affection, and it’s all across the board with him. It can be from soft sweet touches to actual affectionate actions done for you.

Full HC list on this soon! ✧

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)

Literally the best— for starters he’s super loyal, because if you’re truly friends with him he’s not giving up on you easily. Your friendship wasn’t exactly easy to get to, mostly thanks to his profession, but once you’re in, you’re in. 

100% defensive of you— anyone tries to come at you in any negative way, he’s got a comeback to absolutely destroy them. Also, having someone of his reputation around can be beneficial for when you want to be left alone, as he seems to intimidate people a little bit.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

When you cuddle him— he loves it when you just come over without saying a word and cuddle up next to him, he doesn’t ask questions he just lets you get as close and be as cute as you want. Sometimes he has to chuckle at just how physically needy you are, like absolutely burying your face against his back, nuzzling softly, with your arms around him in an attempt to get his attention / also loves waking up to you cuddled right up against him.

When he cuddles you— he can just tell when you need it, so often times he reaches out for your hands with a “come on, come here,” naturally, you give in, he pulls you into a hug, slightly rocking you back and forth. It’s a lot of soft touches and feathery kisses.

↳ if you’re lying on your stomach, he’ll lie down with you. Resting his head on the small of your back, brushing his fingers across or down your back, sometimes he places soft kisses against your skin, which always gets your attention. You either: 1). turn on to your side, he hooks and arm between you legs and uses your thigh as a pillow. 2). you lay on your back, letting him rest against your stomach, gradually he makes his way up to give the corner of your lips a kiss.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they around the house?)

For sure— it’s not long before you’re practically living with him. Now that you’re in his life, he wants you around for everyday life; what is his very soon becomes yours. You picked up on it when he started to suggest “why don’t you stay here... tonight? And maybe tomorrow?” more often.

Around the house— he’s quite casual. You never feel expected to get up at a certain hour (regardless that he gets up early), you’re never expected to be downstairs and dressed immediately, it’s more of a calm atmosphere that lets you wake up. You don’t constantly have to be around each other, he knows space is important. Sometimes it’s just doing your own things in the same room in silence together. Despite the status of Baron, he behaves like your average individual around the house, he likes to do things himself.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It’s actually really hard for him— it’d have to be in person though, as hard as it would be. For starters it would take a lot for him to actually call it over, he’s extremely patient and an expert at working things out with you, because he truly doesn’t want to it end.

↳ a most likely situation for ending it would be that he can’t guarantee your safety due to whatever he’s getting himself into, and he’d rather make the call to let you go than to have no choice in truly losing you because of his own dangerous choices. 

He’d leave it open though— sitting across from him, you stay quiet after both coming to the conclusion that it’s over. However, he leaves you with: “if you ever need anything, in any way. . .” you nod, a few tears falling as you stay silent, staring forward. Coming over to you, he softly wipes a tear away, kissing your temple, whispering, “I’m sorry,” before walking away.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’s definitely committed in the relationship— ring or no ring, if you’re in a relationship with him he’s all in, not the type of person to just have a fling here and there. It’s total dedication to you, and you only. 

Considering he’s done it once before—there’s a lot of past memories surrounding the topic of marriage for him, which is why there’s probably going to be a good amount of time together before any proposal. He just wants to be sure, plus there needs to be time to talk everything out before rushing into anything. 

↳ when the time does come though, it’s a mad romantic, but personal proposal, with the most gorgeous ring in the world.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically— he’s super soft with you. He never wants to startle you, it’s always what you’re comfortable with. Touches are more than just flirtatious with him, they can be comforting, encouraging, supporting, etc. (He also knows what you’re not comfortable with as well so he can avoid it)

Emotionally— it’s a little more complicated. With your emotions he’s super gentle and understanding, always. He listens to anything and everything you say or just need to vent. He doesn’t interrupt and only gives his thoughts when you ask for them. He never intends to hurt you feeling either, he’s very careful. However, with his own emotions however, he’s a little harsher. He doesn’t really like to show any of the more complicated emotions. And doesn’t always give himself much grace for feeling certain ways, he tends to repress.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?)

Only from you— he doesn’t really like other people getting friendly, unless he really really knows them, even then it’s different. He doesn’t get physical with other people unless it’s a “move— you’re in my way,” situation, but that doesn’t count as friendly.

Extremely handsy— he love to bring his arms around you, so he can completely hold you whilst hugging you. Whether it’s around your waist, shoulders, hips, etc., just depends how the hug is done. He also tends to stroke his hands when hugging you, up and down your arms, back, sides, thighs, wherever.

↳ he likes to nuzzle against your neck, during front or back hugs, with the bridge of his nose, or his lips. He also gives tender kisses while he has you so close. Not kisses with other intentions, just sweet loving kisses that make you smile. Sometimes he brings his hand under your jaw, to tilt your head just enough so he can kiss your lips.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes time, but it’s not forever— when he knows he will tell you with no hesitation. He doesn’t debate telling you or worry about it being too bold, nope, he means it when he says it and he says it when he means it.

He also says it in different ways— it’s not always “those three words,” through his gestures and other phrases you hear I love you a lot.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not if it’s someone you’ve known before him— he’s not intimidated by pervious friendships that predate your relationship. 

When people flirt with you knowing he’s with you— he gets real jealous, real fast. Given that fancy occasions are kind of a routine thing, you’re around a lot of other people who want to flirt with you, and often do pretty openly. It’s rare that Zemo ever leaves your side, which helps, but that doesn’t stop people from trying, which he hates. Typically he just tries to keep you physically near, so he can be there to prevent it.

↳ one time he left to get you a drink and an old rival of his found you. Trying to be polite you remained in conversation, feeling fine until he caressed your shoulder. Almost immediately Zemo was back at your side. Handing you your drink civilly, with a “here you are, Darling,” he then glared at the man standing across from you. Not so subtly, Zemo slipped his arm around you, literally pushing off the unwanted hand and replacing it with his own. You leaned into him more, attempting to make a point, as Zemo continued giving a half smile half glare.

He doesn’t do much about it in aftermath— he’ll calmly admit to you that he was jealous, but he also gets you with “I understand why people want to talk, flirt, and be with you,” he shrugs, “you’re beautiful, they’d have to be blind not to see that, but yes,” he tilts his head, “but. . . I have to admit, there’s part of me that wants that only to myself, of course.” It makes you smile how calm he tries to keep himself, despite the frustration. It’s usually you who actually does anything after these type of conversations though.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Lightly running fingers up your neck— when he’s kissing you, he traces his fingers slowly up the side of your neck, until he reaches your jaw, there he strokes his thumb across your jawline.

Holding your hand— sometimes when you’re flirting with him, you like to get as close as possible without touching, he knows the game and subtly slips his fingers between yours, then he goes in for the kiss. He can feel your smile and your hands hold his tighter as you give in.

Hand kisses— he gives these whenever, wherever, and however often he can. It’s a cute way of showing affection in a very classy way. He uses them as hello / goodbye greetings, although typically you require more than a kiss on the hand for saying goodbye.

Soft, but turns into more— it starts out as a super sweet gentle kiss, but slowly you can feel it deepen, to which you usually break the kiss with a smile, “Helmut,” you laugh, holding onto his arms around you, as he moves his mouth to your neck, “I don’t have time for this,” you try to stop giggling.

As for himself— he loves the taste of you lips, so every time you kiss him, he adores it. However, there is a sweet spot at the base of his neck, that when you kiss there makes him stop mid sentence.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Fantastic— he’s actually perfect with kids. Maybe it’s past experience that plays into it, but he’s so sweet with kids. When they accidentally run into him, he gives a “be careful, little one,” before stepping out of their way. Something you’ve noticed is that he talks to them like they’re little adults, which is adorable.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Staying in bed— one way or another one of you convinces the other to stay in bed. Sometimes it’s him asking you to stay just a little bit longer, when you can’t, he understands and watches you get dressed, asking what your day looks like. / Other times it’s you compelling him that it’d be more fun to stay and cuddle with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Relaxing— it’s a calm, safe, and warm environment when you can both just relax from the day in each other’s arms. Sometimes you’ll lean back against him and ask what he’s reading, when he says Machiavelli, you smile and get cozy, “perfect, that sends me right off,” you close your eyes as he begins to read aloud.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s not an open book— there’s a lot of history with him, some good, but also some bad. Even before the whole campaign to end Super Soldiers, he has a bit of a shady past, with his own military exploits. Some he’s made amends with, others he hasn’t.

Depends how much you already know— if you already know a good amount about him, 1). he’ll ask to even the playing field, so he can know you equally as well 2). he doesn’t mind you asking questions since you’re already aware of his general history.

Surface level stuff— interests, fascinations, favourite this-or-thats, he’s pretty open about though! He doesn’t mind sharing or talking about any of the casual topics about himself, it’s just the more personal stuff that takes time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s extremely patient— The only way you would know is by a facial expression. His looks give him away more than his words or attitude does.  

↳ if you’re not getting along, he’s the first to apologise, and it’s not an “I’m sorry” end of conversation apology. It’s a well thought out apology, because you don’t argue about the little stuff, it’d have to be something big to get you at odds for a while.

Silently frustrated— even if he gets mad, he keeps his cool in circumstances. Never raises his voice, his tone just gets a little deeper.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers everything— seriously, he does not forget anything. You’re his number one priority, so of course he pays attention. Even if there’s something you just mention at random, he’ll remember it. Say you mention how you used to have/like/want something, there’s a good chance it’s showing up again.

He also asks— he’s genuinely curious about you and wants to know as much as he can about the person he’s in love with. So, he loves childhood stories, random details, and little quirks about you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The moment you said those three words— when you know everything about him, his past, his lifestyle, and you still decided to say I love you. And you still standing by it even though it meant waiting for him.

He also loves remembering the first time he saw you— he says he could never forget it, it was like a divine beauty just walked in.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Veryyy— he’s extremely protective of you, but not overbearing, he’s good a being distantly or subtly protective. In other words in public / at events / new places he keeps an eye on you, even if it’s from a distance.

He will literally do anything— there’s no limit with how far he’d go to protect you from anything or anyone, even if he knows he’s outmatched, he’ll find a way.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dates— he puts a lot of effort into them, mainly trying to make it a perfect yet comfortable setting. So if you like quiet restaurants, that’s what he’ll find. If you like outdoors, he’ll find a stunning walkthrough garden, etc.

Celebrations— it’s always extravagant and grand and beautiful whenever you’re celebrating anything with him. He wants you to feel like the royalty he believes you are.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

How easy criminal life is for him lol— you love the fact that he surprised you with a real classic art piece for your birthday, but the exact details on how he got it isn’t as pretty. You frequently ask if there’s any other way he could make a living.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not vain— despite the fancy and classy lifestyle, he’s never thought himself as an individual of great beauty. He likes beautiful things, which is why he says he was so attracted to you, but personally he doesn’t think much of himself.

He cares though— it’s not like he doesn’t care whatsoever, which is why he’ll usually ask you “what do you think of this?” in regards to fashion. He wants to look nice for you, and he knows how to do that. But he’s not the guy to check himself in the mirror, or constantly fret about his looks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He doesn’t need a relationship— but that’s what makes your so special. Since he’s not the type to just constantly need someone to feel complete, the fact that he does need you make you and your relationship all the more important to him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He can crash literally anywhere— you’ve found him on the couch, on the floor, in a chair, and you have no idea why it’s a habit of his, but it is! And you have definitely addressed him about it before.

↳ walking in to his study, you found him asleep on the floor between the couch and coffee table, shaking your head and crouching down, you woke him up. Looking up to you, you asked, “Helmut, why are you sleeping on the floor?” / “Hmm- wh- I’m not on the floor, you’re on the floor,” he states sitting up, brining you into a hug with him.

[sunflowerharrington]

The Happiness Project

it’s here, it’s finally here! sorry it took so long to rewrite! this time it’ll be alternating pov’s between tate and autumn, so that we can all get to know both of them a lot better :) chapter names are named after lyrics to ‘are you ok’ by daniel caesar. ps; the photos are either classwork given that’s important to the plot, flashbacks or dreams, or whatever else it may be…

Autumn is part French, just so you know. Get out y’all’s Google Translates if you need it. (It also helps me remember all the words I’ve been learning on and off for give or take five years.) It won’t be used a LOT, but there’ll be bits and pieces throughout, especially when she gets mad lmaoo

Making a new taglist for this fic. DM, comment or slide in my inbox to be added to it, they’re always open :)

head canon: constance definitely didn’t choose ‘tate’ as tate’s birth name, which is why it’s not tate in this. adelaide, beauregard, rose and TATE? nah. that doesn’t sound right.

chapter one: been starin' at your face, from across the room now.

wc: 4233

warnings: none for this chapter :)

AUTUMN’S POV.

Autumn had just walked out the door when the blonde haired woman rushed over to her, eyes wide with worry and excitement all at the same time. “Your first day of real school at that Westfield place, Autumn! God, you’ve grown up so fast!” Her mom began sniffling, and Autumn wrapped her arms around her, and she hugged Autumn back just as tight.

Autumn pulled away first, pressing a kiss to her mom’s forehead before picking up her school bag and heading down the steps leading away from the front of the place she grew to call home, where she could absolutely 100% be herself with no judgement… Well, a little judgement but that’s life, and she was willing to accept that.

“Tell my other mom I said I love her and I’ll see her later!”

“Okay, sweetie pie. I also love you!” Her mom called out, first mom. She had two adoptive moms, and four friends who were like sisters to her, all of whom were just like her. And it was weird of her to think of them as sisters after hooking up with one beforehand for months, behind the “scenes.”

“Love you too, mom!”

While registering for school she decided to also sign herself up for the cheer squad, and tryouts were that afternoon so she grabbed her cheer bag on the way out too. And it was as if she travelled through time, in an instant, in the blink of an eye she was standing outside Westfield High, her new school. Her first normal school and the first time she would be taught anything anywhere other than what her biological parents, biological grandparents, adoptive moms and now “adoptive grandma” taught her.

She took a deep breath and headed through the gates, her head downcast so as to not draw too much attention to herself, although she was the new girl so obviously there would be eyes on her all day, one pair in particular catching her attention. She never got much male attention as she was always playing matchmaker for her friends, and never for herself. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride. And besides, the only man in the house was the creepy butler who gave Autumn the shivers, and who was also totally, like, a century older than her.

It was a challenge to push past all of the students to get to her first ever class, English with Mr Henderson in Room 11, and getting lost in the completely wrong building, but she got there in the end.

Five minutes late. For her first class ever. Marvellous!

It sounded like people had been laughing to themselves in the classroom when Autumn put her hand over the doorknob and it opened, and she stepped inside.

Wasn’t supposed to do that outside of home but nobody saw, it’s fine. It’s totally fine.

“Sorry I’m late, Sir. I got lost, I-I’m new here,” she said, tangling her fingers up with each other, nerves bundling in the pit of her stomach as her professor spun around on his feet with a stern look on his face.

His formal stature towered over her as he took a look at her timetable, nodding to himself and then he handed it back to her. “You’re off the hook since you’re new. Take a seat, we can talk after class has ended.”

She shuffled over to one of the free seats in the room, up in the front row and sat down next to a brunette haired girl wearing the school’s cheer uniform. Must be another girl wanting to be on the team. The girl turned to Autumn, giving her a big, bright smile.

“New girl, huh? I’m Chloe!”

Chloe was cute, with her sparkling brown eyes that took up most of her face and her hair was tied up into a high ponytail, a few loose pieces hanging down to frame her face. She was on the petite side and so far was by far the most energetic person Autumn had ever been around.

Autumn blinked at her in surprise, she hadn’t expected to be noticed, let alone for someone to make a point to say hello to her. “Autumn ,” she replied, pushing strands of her own black hair behind her ear, and she couldn’t help but feel a set of eyes on her, two sets, actually.

But then the feeling of someone watching her vanished when Chloe turned around and asked the two boys to stop being creepy, and that’s when Autumn turned around and locked eyes with him. He was sitting down the back of the room, trying to hide his blushing face by having his curly blonde hair hanging down to hide as much as he could.

You know the feeling when you step out from a dark place and into the sun, and the light is so white that your eyes sting and you feel blinded? Where you shut down into panic mode for just a moment, afraid you’ll never see the sun again? Well, that’s what it was like seeing him for the first time, to her.

He had pale skin with that blush flushing across his cheeks and short, curly blonde hair that flopped every which way around his face. His dark brown eyes sparkled while talking to his friend beside him about God knows what, and using his hand to more than likely get a point across. The boy faced forward and looked into Autumn’s eyes as he caught her staring,—

—She blinked rapidly and looked back at him again, this time back in the classroom. She had no idea what had just happened, but chose to just brush it off.

The boy whispered something to his friend, and his friend; tan skin, long black hair and black eyes, just shook his head and turned back into his seat, as Autumn turned back into hers.

“Okay class, now that everyone has finally decided to show up,” Mr Henderson gave Autumn a look. “Let’s talk about your upcoming project!”

Project? The only projects Autumn had ever done before this was helping her mates find some boys to flirt with at a college party. She’d been planning for months, talking to every guy at the party though only one was interested, and he ended up sadly passing away that night. The poor guy. And she couldn’t even begin to imagine how his family must have felt.

And her other project was some botanical study with her mom down in the greenhouse at the end of their garden where she made “special juice to keep the bad people away.” People being some woman named Marie, and some ‘Papa’ guy, whoever they were.

Autumn hoped it would be work she could do on her own, she never was one to put herself out there, especially since basically everyone she knew lived with her other than that college boy, who was now dead so it wasn’t like she could talk to him again since nobody could find his body in the morgue (she thought that, anyways). And other than Chloe, she hadn’t spoken to anyone else in the room. “Merde, J'aurais dû parler à plus de gens!” She muttered to herself, until she did a double take. Wait a minute… When have I ever spoken French to other people other than Dad? This is so weird…

“We are starting a new unit on romance literature. Before I show you anything, I would like to see what you can do on your own.”

Littérature romantique— Girl… Dee said speak and think in ENGLISH. Maybe Gra-mere was a bit too much of an influence on me.

Romance literature? Autumn was intrigued to say the least. She needed a bit of romance in her life, since she only knew platonic love and nothing more.

���How are we supposed to do anything if we haven’t been taught anything?” One of the boys in the back of the class blurted out, the blonde boy, the one Autumn was making ogle eyes at earlier. Mr Henderson shook his head at the boy, and clearly was taking absolutely no bull crap today.

“That’s the whole point, Mr Langdon. I would like to see what works of romance you can find, and how you interpret them without my help.” Mr Henderson explained. “You’ll work in pairs of two. You’ll have to look for a work of literature that relates to love, it can be a poem, a song or a short story, interpret it and make a short video that relates to your piece. You will have two weeks to finish this. At the end of the two weeks I expect a copy of the piece, and yes, you both have to be in it.”

Pairs of two? Oh no. Autumn’s worst nightmare. And even more so after the next question when the blonde haired boy’s friend raised his hand.

“No, Mr Finstein. You do not get to choose your partners, as I have already assigned them.” Mr Henderson answered before the boy could ask. He lowered his hand.

Langdon and Finstein, okay I have to remember those names. And Chloe’s, of course.

“Your partners have been posted in our online class group along with guidelines and rules on the project,” Mr Henderson continued. “I’ll give you a minute to look at who your partner is and then clear your desk for your pop quiz.”

Everyone pulled out their phones to login to the online classroom, the code being put up on the board. Autumn was absolutely bricking it, not knowing anyone there, except saying ‘hi’ to Chloe once. And a pop quiz? — Autumn had no idea what that was but she hated it already. She heard the two boys in the back audibly gasp, and one groaned quite loudly, their names mustn’t be next to each other. And why the hell is Autumn’s surname wrong in the classroom? Well, it’s wrong according to her. Completely wrong, they couldn’t have even put her birth name? No?

She scrolled through the list, nodding at each name as they came down the line, and then she saw who’s name was next to hers;

Wait a minute. Langdon. Langdon. The name. The one Mr Henderson said. The blonde boy? No freaking way! She couldn’t believe her eyes, and also couldn’t believe that Chloe had been partnered with the boy sitting next to this Langdon boy. His best friend, Marcus. Her stomach tumbled over and down an imaginary hill and she wanted to run out of the classroom and never look back. Why all of a sudden were those brown eyes the only thing on her mind?

“Oh, good luck with that one,” Chloe chuckled from beside her, nudging Autumn’s elbow with hers to get her attention.

Autumn raised her eyebrows, and Chloe continued, “He’s like… I think there’s something wrong with Tate…”

Tate? Thought his name was Edward, no?

“Everybody has something wrong with them, some people are just better at hiding it,” Autumn muttered to herself. Ding ding, got it in one, Autumn, and she was one who was great at hiding who she really was. Oh golly, the bell rang, and she looked down at her empty test; it was just six multiple choice questions. She could have easily done it, but was too busy bricking this project and it hadn’t even begun yet.

“Turn in your test to me before you leave. I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Mr Henderson said, and with that, Autumn handed in her test and walked to her next class, her last class today; Maths. Though she had cheerleading tryouts so she wouldn’t even be doing any work.

Tryouts had been tough to say the least, but Autumn ultimately got a spot on the squad, earning the proper cheer outfit and a blue bow from the HBIC, Bailey Diaz. On her way to her locker she bumped into the boy from English class and her heart stopped completely for a good two seconds.

“Hey, Ed— I mean, Tate! Sorry… I’m still learning names,” she said louder than anticipated, and he turned around to fully face her. Handsome Tate was talking to her. Her. Autumn. He was talking to Autumn. God, what does she say now?

“Oh, uh… hey! Autumn, right?”

“Yeah.” She began twisting her foot on the floor from side to side, fiddling with a coin in the pocket of her navy hoodie as she spoke. “Thought Henderson was going to kick me out of class for being late earlier.”

“Nah, he likes the girls in the class. A little too much if you ask me,” he muttered. “Uh- what am I even saying? Why the hell are you talking to me? You’re going to get bullied if anyone sees you with me.”

“People who bully others are just insecure in their own skin, Tate. So I don’t let it bother me. Besides, I have a reason to be over here.” I do? She does? Okay, think of something quick!

She watched as he silently nodded, waiting for her to say something else, so she blurted out the first thing that came to mind; “So anyways. Since we’re working together on the project… figured I’d give you my number.” She looked into those gorgeous brown eyes of his and felt a weird feeling rushing to her knees, making her almost fall. Holy guaca-goddamn-moly. “If you want it, that is...” Did she just kind of, sort of, maybe ask for his number? Bold move.

“Uh…sure. I uh—are you sure you want to give me your number? I mean, of course it’s for the project but, uh…” He stuttered, stumbling over his words, trying to form a coherent sentence and failing magnificently. Autumn wondered why, he seemed so confident in himself before and now he looked like he was bricking this conversation as much as she was. Which in fact had some truth to it.

“Why would I ask if I didn’t want to?” Am I being rude? No, of course not, this isn’t rudeness. It’s just making conversation!

“Fair,” he muttered under his breath. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and held it out for Autumn to take after unlocking it, and suddenly, she forgot how to use a phone. Well done, now you’ve messed it all up.

With shaky hands she opened the contact list and typed in her phone number, smiling at the picture she saw moments ago of his home screen. He looked so happy holding a vinyl record with an older woman next to him, presumably his mom. Autumn blushed deeply as she handed the phone back a moment later.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tate!” She smiled, waving at him with her shaking hand before spinning around on her heel and bolting out of the school. Literally.

After her conversation with Tate she ran home, forgetting to speak to Mr Henderson about being late but she could do that tomorrow. She was greeted by her mom standing at the doorway with a young man clinging onto her, his blonde curls hanging over his brown eyes so she couldn’t see who he was, until she did, and she almost passed out. A boy? At an all-girls academy? The butler was enough male-ness to have to put up with as it was, and now another man has joined?

“What the… Mom…? Who is this?” Autumn asked, gesturing to the man.

“This is Kyle! He’ll be staying with us for a while, I’m sure you won’t mind.”

“Hmm, a boy at an all girl’s academy...” Autumn wasn’t convinced in the slightest. She walked up the steps past the two and opened the door, only to be pulled back outside. ‘Kyle’ held onto her arm with his tight grip and looked into her eyes.

—She blinked frantically and was blinded by the sunlight back outside on the front porch to her home, the man shaking her shoulders to bring her back from zoning out. He carefully wiped the tears from underneath Autumn’s eyes as they rushed down her hot cheeks and gave her the sweetest smile she ever saw. Who the hell could hurt a man like this? A random stranger doing this was bad enough, but quickly she learned that that was Kyle’s own mother.

“I-I’m so sorry, T-Kyle,” she choked, and he threw his arms around her, now crying too because she was crying. She mentally kicked herself off the balcony upstairs for almost calling him Tate. Yeah, he looked strikingly similar and almost identical to him, but she still felt bad because obviously this wouldn’t be Tate standing in front of her. He’d never do that. Ever. He probably doesn't like her at all.

Autumn looked at her mom, who was also trying to hold back tears. “New power?” Misty asked, and Autumn nodded, resting her lips against Kyle’s shoulder to try to hold back the shaking in her voice. “I think so. I was in his mind when he looked into my eyes and I saw bad things… Really bad. I don’t like this power at all, take it back I don’t want it.”

Misty nodded, giving her a small smile. “I know, doll, I know. Some of these powers we have are scary. We should probably tell Dee, so you can add it to your list.”

“That’s three new powers this week! It’s all too much. I just wanna be normal. But that can’t happen, can it? You can tell her. I’m going upstairs.”

When Autumn ran up to her room after removing herself from Kyle’s embrace, he followed her. Kyle was only beginning to learn what basic emotions were, but he felt happy when Autumn hugged him. And he thought she was also really pretty.

He struggled to keep up with her, and when he opened her bedroom door, he found her looking at something and smiling. She noticed him standing in her doorway and instead of telling him to go away like her mind was telling her to do, she invited him in. Especially after what she witnessed a few minutes ago. He sat in the middle of the floor and wouldn’t move when Autumn asked him to sit on her bed, so she sat on the floor next to him. He brought his arms back around her and she reciprocated, and they stayed like this even after Kyle had fallen asleep in her arms.

She lifted one of her hands up and a pillow floated over to her, for her to rest Kyle’s head against when she rested it against her body. And she sat with her thoughts for a while, wondering what the hell happened to him, and what all those scars on his body were from.

Moments later Zoe knocked on the door and entered, a slight frown forming on her face when she noticed the boy she had a crush on was ‘cuddling’ with her best friend, though her expression softened a little more when she realised Autumn had probably been the one to find him. “You found Kyle?”

“Misty did. I’m just making sure he’s okay right now. Though he did fall asleep on me,” Autumn giggled quietly, and Zoe joined them both on the floor, also joining the embrace.

They both let out a soft ‘awh’ when Kyle smiled in his sleep, reaching out to take Autumn’s hand in his, and Autumn took Zoe’s hand and placed it in Kyle’s too.

“I heard a shout from outside a little while ago,” Zoe started. “Was that you?”

Autumn shook her head and smiled at Zoe, who didn’t question any further. I have the ability to control others? Nice. Now I won’t ever get any homework or bad grades. Her phone lit up, interrupting her thoughts, and she gasped when she saw who it was from.

hi, it’s tate

Autumn felt her heart dropping through the ceiling, and the downstairs floor, all the way through the centre of the earth and back out the other side, and a weird feeling bouncing all over the inside of her stomach and her rib cage. Why was she so nervous? He’s just a boy in her class, not Jamie Dornan!

“Who are you talking to?”

“A boy from my class. His name’s Tate. We’re doing an English project together,” Autumn said, typing out a reply without thinking, until she began overthinking everything even down to the way she typed it out.

Hey, Tate! Thanks for giving me your number :)

Was that smiley face too much? Probably, but it had been sent already so she couldn’t delete it and think of some other way to say what she wanted to say. And so she sat there, waiting for an answer as if he’d answer her, and then he did. And Autumn almost threw her phone across the room.

no problem :) should i have something done for the project tomorrow?

It was just a question, a simple question that only needed a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. But as Autumn always did, she made it much more complicated than that; writing and rewriting her message a million and one times before squeezing her eyes shut and hitting the send button.

I asked Mr Henderson after cheer tryouts today and he said we would be working on the project in class. So nah, we can work on it tomorrow :)

And what a goddamn lie that was. She was about to read his next message when the door flung open, disrupting the peace. It was the new maid, Delphine, looking for Queenie, who wasn’t in her room. And when Delphine made her exit, Autumn’s other best friend, Stephanie, joined them in the room, a school bag on her back.

“You’re going to school too?” Autumn raised an eyebrow, giving the blonde a pointed look, who nodded, setting her bag down on Autumn’s bed.

“Yeah, Westfield, just like you. Wanted you to have a friendly face to talk to in the halls, though I did notice you ogling Wednesday Addams earlier. So I guess that’s two friendly faces. He looks, like, identical to Kyle, right?”

“Wait… Tate looks like Kyle?” Zoe asked, leaving the embrace and laying down on her bed, Stephanie joining her. “Is that why you’re hogging Kyle now?”

“I’m not hogging Kyle, Zo. And no, I don’t like Tate so why would I?”

“Hm, sure,” Zoe and Stephanie both said at the same time under their breaths.

Autumn lay her head against Kyle’s shoulder, closing her eyes, Stephanie and Zoe’s teasing fading into the distance in her mind…

The remainder of her day after that short nap had been spent listening to some music Misty wanted her to listen to as she unwound herself from that day’s stress. And helping Kyle learn his ABC’s again, after Zoe had told her all about how she and Madison brought him back to life a month ago but today was his first full day in the academy. Somebody had to take care of him.

Then a little notification popped up on her screen; it was Tate again.

sounds good

She chose to not reply after that, which Tate probably wouldn’t blame her for. How the hell does somebody reply to ‘sounds good’ anyways? Not for her to be rude or anything,, she just didn’t know how.

When nightfall came, Autumn found herself lying on her bed with Kyle in her arms and a jealous Zoe Benson in the bed next to them. She didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as Kyle, but he looked too adorable to be kicked out of her bed. So she lay back down, with his chest pressed against her back, listening to his soft breathing as he drifted into a peaceful sleep.

It’s just a project. It’ll be done in three weeks max. Worst case scenario I keep calling Tate Kyle and Kyle Tate and they both get too annoyed to ever talk to me again. But that won’t happen. Of course it won’t, right? I hope not. Who’ll be my partner for the project then? Stephanie? If she gets moved into my English class, maybe…

taglist: @xxlangdon, @sympathyforher, @unlivingdreams my loves

dm to be added or taken off <3

[sleepysnk]

i decided to make a sequel to Ditched! this part is actually based of an event that happened to me in real life! i tried my best to put my personal experience into words, i hope you all enjoy the sequel! :)

I Waited For You

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst

Ditched

Ever since Eren and (Y/N) met each other that night they have been inseparable.

The two talked every night ever since that day, they spent hours on facetime talking or laughing about their days, or meeting up for some coffee or just going for a nice drive. They always found time to speak to one another.

Eren helped (Y/N) with her ex, he listened to the stories she had about how badly he treated her and gave her ways to distract herself from the bad thoughts. He understood how badly she took the breakup, especially since she got cheated on. He also helped her get through to her friends, something she couldn't necessarily do before. She ended up dropping those so called "friends" and found a better crowd. All thanks to Eren.

(Y/N) listened to Eren as well, she spent many nights listening to his stories about the girls he spoke to, or the famous on and off girlfriend he had for awhile. She helped him bring out a better side of himself, she assured him that people come and go, but to never loose hope.

Here they were, two weeks into talking. Eren liked her, he knew it wasn't a good idea to like her so quickly, but he couldn't resist. (Y/N) was beautiful, smart, kind, sweet, adventurous. It was everything he wanted in a girl. Not to mention how they clicked so fast on a lot of things.

(Y/N) on the other hand, wasn't sure if she even wanted to date Eren.

She wasn't exactly healed from all of it, she still had some nights where she would cry into her pillow thinking about how much her ex hurt her. She still was dealing with it emotionally, and that was the hardest part of it all. (Y/N) liked Eren, but she wasn't sure if her own feelings were 100%. She didn't want to start a new relationship if she wasn't totally healed from her past, she knew it wouldn't work well.

She wanted to communicate it with him as well as she could, because she didn't want it to seem like she was leading him on or playing with his feelings. That's the opposite of what she wanted.

Here she was in a coffee shop, it was their favorite. Eren actually took her there the second time they hung out, and she enjoyed it a lot.

(Y/N) planned to tell him what was going on. She had support from her friend Historia, she told (Y/N) that it was the best option. If she were to lie it wouldn't end well for her nor Eren, she assured her that he should understand where she was coming from.

(Y/N)'s hands were around the warm cup of coffee. She shook her leg nervously.

Her eyes looked up to see Eren entering the coffee shop, he smiled as he made his way over. She couldn't help but admire the way he looked, his hair was tied into a bun, he wore a black sweater with some black sweats. He looked bummy but so good.

"Hey! It's good to see you," Eren said, taking the seat in front of her.

(Y/N) smiled, looking down her hands. "It's good to see you too," she replied. "How are you?" she asked, nodding her head.

Eren sighed. "Eh.. I'm doing good, I had some really hard exams last week but that's about it. How about you?" he replied, looking at her.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking at his green eyes. "I'm okay I guess," she said, running her nail down her coffee cup.

"You told me you wanted to talk about something? I actually wanted to talk about something as well," he said, smiling a bit.

Her heart skipped a beat seeing his smile. "Um yeah! I wanted to talk to you about something important, if you don't mind." she said, shifting around in her seat.

Eren shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweater. "I'm all ears," he said, leaning back in the chair.

A nervous sigh came out of her as she looked up at Eren, her expression serious. "Look Eren.. these past two weeks have been great! You've helped me a ton with my issues and I'm really glad to have met you," she said, smiling a bit.

"Yeah I agree too! I'm glad we met," Eren replied, nodding his head.

"But... Eren the thing is, I don't think we should become serious right now. I care about you a ton but I'm not ready for anything at the moment, I'm still healing from my ex and I don't want to hop into anything without being 100%" she explained, looking down.

It was silent between them.

Eren sat up, a sigh came from his throat. "Um.. yeah, I understand. Thanks for being honest.." he said, standing up.

She furrowed her brows. "Where are you going?" she asked.

He looked down at her, she could see the disappointment in his eyes. "I gotta go. I'm meeting with Armin, but um.. it was nice talking to you," he said, giving a small smile. "I hope you can get better and fix yourself," he added, patting her shoulder.

(Y/N) nodded as she watched him walk out of the coffee shop. She could tell that he was upset, but he took it better than she expected. She felt the sting of her heart when she saw his eyes and how disappointed he seemed, but there wasn't much she could do. She needed to work on herself before anything.

She watched Eren drive off for the final time.

-

Almost a month had went by since (Y/N) last talked to Eren that day at the coffee shop. She hadn't really spoken to him much since whenever they did talk, it would be short and not much conversation would even happen between the two.

Things weren't good on both sides.

(Y/N) was feeling a bit better about her ex, she did a lot of self care to fix herself and even vented to Historia and her girlfriend Ymir about the whole situation. It helped a ton and they gave her some advice on how to fully let go of the situation. They told her being on her own and surrounded by people who care was the best way to find peace.

She also explained her situation with Eren, of course they agreed that she did the right thing. Dating Eren while still processing a bad breakup would have been hell and it wouldn't be healthy. Historia told her that she should get out there when she felt ready.

She felt like she was in a better spot than she was a month ago, but she couldn't shake the thoughts about Eren.

Truth is, she missed him so much.

She missed everything about the boy. From his random facetime calls, to his jokes, the way he smelled, everything. She missed Eren a lot, but she couldn't ever find herself just hitting him up out of the blue. She didn't want to come off as the girl who comes back when she's finally okay, she felt like Eren wouldn't like that. Plus what if he moved on? What if he found somebody else?

Eren on the other hand wasn't doing well. He missed (Y/N) even more than she missed him. He'd occasionally check his phone seeing if she messaged him or he'd contemplate picking up the phone and calling her. He'd never actually end up doing it.

His feelings for her didn't change. He liked her still and even if he tried to find someone else, they wouldn't be the same.

The day he left the coffee shop was hard. He ended up sulking in his room all day, a few tears escaped his cheeks feeling the frustration from it all. He wished that her ex didn't fuck her up. She deserved so much better than that.

Eren wondered sometimes how she was doing, was she doing better? Did her ex come back? So many questions yet very little answers. He cut some contact because he didn't want his hopes to get too high, he didn't want to go through it again just for it to fail.

In a way, he felt like he was waiting for her. Waiting for that text message or phone call, he just wanted to hear her voice again, see her smile, anything.

-

"(Y/N)! Where are you!?" Historia yelled, opening the door to her apartment.

(Y/N) opened her bedroom door, seeing her friend standing there in her kitchen. "Historia? What are you doing here? It's kind of late," she asked, walking towards the blonde girl.

She nodded. "You didn't get my text? Ugh stupid phone. Anyway, do you want to come to a party? Ymir thought I should ask you," she said, looking down at her phone.

A party? Last time she went to a party was when she met.. nevermind.

"I don't know Hisu.. I feel like I'm too boring for that," she replied, shrugging her shoulders.

Historia looked up surprised. "Huh? (Y/N) you're not boring! You're a lot of fun. Come on! You're always at home, you need some fun." she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Let loose! Get some drinks in your system," she added.

(Y/N) leaned against the counter. "I don't even have much time anyway. It probably starts in an hour," she said.

"It starts at nine! Come on, I bet we can find something for you to wear. I won't ditch you either like those asshole friends you had before," she said, taking her hand and guiding her towards her room.

(Y/N) plopped down on her bed as she watched Historia open her closet. "Cute skirt! We just need a top," she said, tossing the white skirt onto her bed.

"I just wanna watch All American tonight," she groaned, laying down on her bed.

Historia looked back at her. "Why watch football guys when you can find one for yourself?" she asked, giggling a bit. "Here! This is a cute top," she added, showing her the light blue body suit.

(Y/N) sat up, scratching the back of her head. "Ugh, fine." she said, coming to grab the outfit. "I hope this party is actually fun," she mumbled, heading towards the bathroom.

She threw on the outfit, eyeing herself in the mirror. It had been a long time since she's gone out, she hoped it would be a decent night.

She opened the bathroom door. "What do you think?" (Y/N) asked, looking at Historia who was sitting on her bed.

"I love it! You look so good! Let's get going!" she yelled excitedly.

She put on her shoes and exited her apartment with Historia. Nervousness bubbled in her stomach as she got into the car, she hoped the party would be fine.

-

Arriving to the party, (Y/N) felt her nerves rising. She didn't know who the person was hosting the party, Historia said it was come guy named Jean who was hosting it. She didn't know a Jean, so she assumed it was one of Historia's friends from college.

Stepping inside the house she was smacked in the face with the smell of alcohol and marijuana, her nose scrunched as the odor filled her nose. People danced to the loud music or sat on the couches sipping drinks or kissed with each other.

"Come on!" Historia yelled, guiding (Y/N) through the crowds of people.

She looked around the kitchen as Historia ran towards Ymir. "You guys finally made it," Ymir said, hugging Historia tightly.

"Yeah.. sorry! I had to get (Y/N) ready," Historia said, looking over at her.

She stood awkwardly as she didn't know anybody at the party. "Here, I got you this. You seem a little nervous," Ymir said, handing her a red solo cup with red liquid in it.

(Y/N) looked down at the cup. "Are you sure?" she asked, looking at her friend with concern.

She scoffed. "(Y/N) just let loose, me and Historia are here if you get shit faced. Have some fun," she said, patting her shoulder.

She nodded, taking a sip of the drink. Her face twisted as the alcohol filled her mouth, burning as it went down her throat. It was strong, it tasted fruity. Jungle juice wasn't her favorite, but it'll do than having shitty shots and having a bad hangover.

(Y/N) leaned against the counter as a few people came over to talk to Historia and Ymir, her mind was too clouded with thoughts of boredom to even pay attention to what they were saying.

"(Y/N)!" her thoughts were broken by Ymir snapping her fingers in her face.

She shook her head. "Sorry! I zoned out.. what's up?" she asked, blinking a bit.

Ymir chuckled a bit. "I gotta go with Historia to the bathroom. You can come with if you'd like," she said.

She nodded. "I'm fine, I'll just wait here." she replied, swirling her drink around.

"Alright! We'll be back," Historia said, waving a bit as she walked away with Ymir.

(Y/N) sat on the counter staring into space, her mind kept wandering to that night she got ditched and met Eren. She would do anything to relive that night again, the way he looked, to the way his hair blew around his face when the windows were rolled down. She wanted to see him again.

Her eyes averted upwards, looking around at the different people who were dancing or messing around.

That's when her eyes landed on the figure leaning against the wall.

Brown hair in a manbun, sweats, a hoodie, and a drink in his hand.

It was Eren.

It was almost like her breath got caught in her throat, she felt her heart beginning to race and her palms began to get sweaty. What was the coincidence he was here at the same party as her? Should she approach him? What if he doesn't want to see her?

That's when his eyes landed on her. His brows raised, he leaned up off the wall.

"(Y/N)! We're back! Do you wanna go play some beer pong?" Ymir asked, nodding at her.

She looked towards Ymir and blinked. "Um.. sure! I'll just watch," she replied, hopping off the counter.

She couldn't help but feel Eren's eyes boring into her head. She wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, but something in her made her nervous. She made her way down the stairs as there was a table set with beer pong, a boy with a shaved head was playing with another boy with blonde hair.

"Haha! Get that Reiner! I win!" the shaved head boy yelled, laughing at his friend.

"Oh shut it Connie," the blonde replied, crossing his arms and walking away towards the couch.

(Y/N) felt a lump her throat as she leaned against the wall, Eren was here. He was here and she knew he might try to find her, the room felt stuffy and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Why was she so nervous? Was it the fact that her and Eren ended off awkward terms and seeing him for the first time made her nervous?

"Hey um.. I'm gonna go outside," (Y/N) said, standing up.

Ymir and Historia looked over at her. "Okay! Be careful," Historia replied, smiling at her. "Text me when you wanna come back," she added.

(Y/N) smiled and went up the stairs. She opened the front door and walked outside, she breathed in the cool night air. It felt better than being in the stuffy room. Her nerves were high as the memory of Eren played in her head, what was she going to do? She couldn't exactly avoid him! That would seem wrong considering she didn't want to cut him off.

"Ugh.. what am I going to do?" she asked, staring down at the floor.

"So you came out here too huh?"

Her body froze as she knew who's voice that was. She turned around to see Eren standing against the wall, he held the red solo cup in his hand.

"Eren.." she said, feeling her heart racing.

He smiled a bit. "I never thought I'd ever see you again," he said, stepping a bit closer towards her. "How have you been?" he asked.

(Y/N) fidgeted her fingers a bit. "Um.. I've been okay, what about you?" she replied.

He sighed. "I could be better, dealing with classes has been difficult. I was surprised to see you here, do you know Jean?" he asked, nodding his head.

She laughed a bit. "No I came here with a friend," she replied, looking up at his green eyes.

Eren shook his head, sitting up on the railing in front of the porch. "How has everything been going? It's been awhile since we last talked," he said, swinging his legs a bit.

The way he looked made her cheeks feel hot, she forgot about how cute he was close up.

"Um I've been actually doing better! Historia and Ymir helped me a lot. The process was hard, but I feel better now," she replied, smiling at him.

Eren's heart swelled seeing her smile. "That's great.. I'm happy for you really. You deserve the happiness," he said, putting his solo cup on the railing. "I just want to apologize for not reaching out or speaking to you. Believe me I wanted to, but I wasn't sure if it was fine with you." he added, rubbing the back of his neck.

(Y/N) looked up at him. "Don't apologize, considering the way things ended I kind of expected you to drift a bit." she said, leaning against the wall.

He nodded. "What do you mean? (Y/N) I wasn't mad at you, I just put distance between us because- nevermind. Just know that I don't hate you," he said, smiling a bit. "Your situation was understandable, what was going on was difficult. I see why you did it," he added.

She swallowed thickly as the tension between them began to get thick.

"Oh shit.. did I make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry I didn't mean to," Eren said, standing up and walking over to her.

She looked up at him. "What? No, Eren don't worry you're fine. It's just... I have something to tell you and I don't know how to say it," she said.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "What is it? You can tell me anything," he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

(Y/N) let out a shaky breath. "Eren.. I still like you." she said. "I always have and I've missed you so so much," she added, looking down at the ground.

Eren's eyes went wide hearing her words. "You do?" he asked, nodding. "(Y/N)... I missed you too and I still like you. I never got over you," he added, smiling.

Her head shot up hearing his words. "What? Wait.. Eren you don't have to lie or say it out of pity," she said, shaking her head a bit.

He grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "(Y/N) I'm not lying to you. I would never lie to someone like you ever, fuck I was so messed up not talking to you everyday. I want to make you my girlfriend and make you forget all that bad shit your ex did to you," he said, cupping her cheek.

She smiled, feeling heat rush onto her cheeks. "That sounds perfect.." she said, staring into his eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Eren pressed his lips onto hers. He put his arms around her, pulling her close. (Y/N) put her arms around his neck, feeling his soft lips on hers.

He pulled away smiling as he kissed her cheek. "I've waited so long to finally kiss you. I waited to finally have this moment," he said, cupping her cheek.

She felt her heart flutter at his words. "You waited all this time for me?" she asked, feeling heat on her cheeks.

He smiled. "I did.. I never gave up," he replied, kissing her cheek again. "What do you say we get out of here and catch up? I missed having you in my car," he asked, nodding.

She giggled. "That sounds great! Let me just text my friends," she said, taking her phone out to message Historia.

Eren fished in his pockets for his keys. She sent the message and took his hand as he lead her to his car, she smiled as she got in, feeling the memories replaying in her head as she adjusted herself in her seat.

"McDonald's?" Eren asked, smirking a bit.

She giggled. "Sounds great," she replied, taking his hand into hers.

[nikethestatue]

Hi, can you explain a little more about what blanket trauma is?

It's employed by authors and often screen writers to set up a character quickly, without delving into much else in their background and elicit an immediate reaction (usually sympathy).

It's usually entirely too horrific and almost incomprehensible, lacks nuance, and makes you accept the character right away. Most often done to establish a more one-dimensional character. It's kind of like emotional manipulation on the part of authors. But it's handy because you dont need to write a whole long backstory. So, think of any movie where the main protagonist's whole family is slaughtered by drug dealers--that blanket trauma basically allows him/her to go out and just kill 100 people, because in the eyes of the viewer it's 'justified', due to what he/she experienced.

In the books, for example, let's take Nesta and Elain--their trauma is nuanced. Because it could be interpreted in a variety of different ways. There are positives and negatives, but it's not ONE horrific event which defines them. That allows them the breadth to be complex characters. The trauma is multi-dimensional. Same, for example with Mor, or Azriel, or Rhys, or Lucien--all had terrible trauma, but it's tempered by other events, their own decisions, and allows them to remain gray (hence you have readers who can hate or love these characters, despite what they went through, because trauma doesn't define them). In Gwyn's case, the trauma is so over-the-top, (rape AND beheading of her sister), that it leaves no room for any negotiation, no nuance. Any time she is questioned then, it causes a furor, because how dare anyone call her anything, because her trauma is just too big.

Like we have other characters--namely Rhys--who was raped for FIFTY years and whose sibling and mother were also destroyed in a horrific way. But because we know so much more about Rhys, somehow, people feel totally fine with hating him, calling him a rapist himself, etc. Lucien-same thing--an SA survivor and had someone killed in front of him (Jesminda)--but due to the complexity of other decisions he can be viewed as perfectly gray.

As it stands now, Gwyn can't be viewed as gray.

So, that tells me two things--either she was a one trick pony, for one book, and you'll never really see her again other than very episodically. OR, she is much darker and there are things about her that aren't pretty or nice or good, and you'll see her, but you might not like what she is.

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Wrong Number, Asshole - A Bakugou Katsuki Soulmate AU

All Parts

Part 24:

You groaned, rolling over to grab your dinging phone off the nightstand. 

Rubbing at your eyes, you sat up against your headboard, breathing deeply. As it turns out, a highly emotional day like the one you had yesterday could really tire a person out. It was so tiring in fact that you had collapsed almost the second you fell into bed last night. You had been pretty much dead to the world since. 

Opening your phone, you nearly rolled your eyes at the text waiting for you.

You scoffed. He sure was petulant today, wasn’t he?

He began typing again, but deleted his words.

Now, you were a little nervous. You weren’t being clingy- right? Sure, you really wanted nothing more than to see him again, and sort of felt that maybe you were entitled to that considering he was your soulmate, but maybe the feeling wasn’t mutual?

Who were you kidding, he might have texted you but that didn’t mean he liked you as much as you liked him. This was Bakugou after all, and even if he somehow did, he’d rather chew his own leg off than admit it. 

You read through the texts again, hoping and praying that you didn’t sound too desperate. It was another few minutes before he responded again. With an answer that really did absolutely nothing to quell your fears. 

You blinked owlishly at his reply, before sending him a quick “okay”. 

Bakugou always seemed to know when you were overthinking things- and, on one hand, it was annoying because he never understood that him and his dismissive words were the cause, but, on the other hand, it was nice. To finally feel understood for once. And to finally talk to someone who’s responses, when he tried, were intentionally made so blunt that you couldn’t possibly misunderstand them.

Sighing, you pulled your tired body out of bed and headed for the shower. Apparently your plans, which had originally consisted of being lazy the entire afternoon, were suddenly changing. Not that you were complaining though.

--/--

Stepping out of the cab, you noticed the crowd once again swarming the front of the hospital. The horde of people almost seemed to be moving as one mass, pushing and pulsing against the security guards standing at the entrance. There were a lot of people covered in Dynamite merch and face paint, even little kids dressed up like Bakugou and feigning explosions as they played.

 It seemed that Bakugou’s heroic deed had put him back in the public’s favor and now they all had gathered in a show of support- and while you could appreciate that as a symbol of community, you selfishly sort of wished they’d leave so visiting him would be less of a spectacle. 

You realized suddenly that more of this was definitely going to be in your future; the crowds of screaming people and adoring, over-excited fans. Your soulmate was a pro-hero after all, and quite possibly the loudest man you’d ever met- you should’ve known a quiet life wasn’t going to be an option. 

As it stood now, you had almost no idea how you were going to make it through the massive throng of bodies- and, even if you did somehow push to the front, how you were going to convince the guards to let you through at that point.

“Excuse me!” A young girl suddenly grabbed your arm, tiny fingers clasping around your wrist. “Do you know how to get in! I need to get in!”

You were blindsided, stopped in your tracks and held down by the girl. She was young, but not much younger than you- if you had to guess, she was 17 or 18, with bright eyes and a strong grip that surprised you. This, her, was certainly not what you expected out of today.

“I- why do you need to get in so badly?”

“Bakugou!” She exclaims, eyes glazed over starry and adoring. She thrusts out her other wrist, presenting you with a poorly drawn tattoo. “See? I’m his soulmate!” 

Your stomach drops, and for a second you nearly believe it- but then you snap out of it, and all you can think about is how strange the situation is. She was young, so obviously young, and so clearly charmed by your soulmate’s hero persona. You thought it was a little funny- if she knew Bakugou like you did, you were almost sure she wouldn’t be as delighted with him. 

You weren’t sure how to respond. The immature, prideful part of you wanted to scoff and shake her hands off of you- to tell her just how foolish she looked talking to his actual soulmate. But, then again, you weren’t sure you could say anything about that at all. In all the research you’d done on him, you hadn’t seen a single mention of a soulmate- he never talked about it, never let anyone see even a hint of your name tattooed on him. Maybe he wanted to hide it for the sake of his career? Or, worse, was embarrassed of it?

“H-his soulmate, huh?” You stutter out, unsurely. 

“Yep! So that’s why I need to get in there so bad! To make sure he’s okay!” She rambles. “So, will you help me get in?”

“Y/n! Y/n L/n!” You hear a familiar voice yell, and when you look towards the sound, all you see is a flash of red hair and hands waving emphatically.

Kirishima. Thank god.

“I’ve gotta go.” You shake the girl’s hand off, slightly jostling her with the force.   “I’m so sorry!” 

You hardly recognize the disappointed look in her eyes before your arm is grabbed once again- but this time by a security guard as he leads you to the front. The guard deposits you at the entrance, just a few feet from where Kirishima is waiting for you.

“Sorry about that.” The red-head chuckles nervously, opening the door up for you. “I uh- I woulda said something earlier, but I couldn’t see you to point out for a guard. It’s totally my bad!”

“No, it’s good, you’re good.” You reassure him, following him as he leads you to the stairwell from yesterday. “Thanks for saving me. I was pretty overwhelmed.”

“Yeah. It can get pretty crazy out there- not as crazy as Bakugou, though! You shoulda totally seen him screamin’ and yelling at the window when you walked up. He was super pissed.”

“Sounds like him.” You can’t help but smile. “Doesn’t surprise me at all.” 

“Yeah.” Kirishima nods. “Who was that girl- you know her?”

Your silence and the uneasy expression that rolls across your face must give it away- he almost immediately pales.

“Oh! Yeah- sorry, none of my business, right?” Kirishima turns to face you, stopping at the step above you for a moment and throwing out placating hands. “It’s totally cool, don’t feel obligated or anything, I was just curious! Sorry for prying though, that wasn’t manly of me at all.”

You almost couldn’t believe Kirishima was such close friends with Bakugou- he seemed like the total opposite of your soulmate.

“No! It’s fine- I wasn’t offended or anything. Just,” You paused, looking at you feet as they climbed higher. “She wanted me to help her get in. To Bakugou. Said she was his soulmate.” 

Kirishima turns around again, his feet nearly catching on the step as his mouth drops open. “She said that? To you! That’s insane!”

“Yep.” You nod, slightly breathless and you finally reached the fourth floor. You let out a small chuckle as you continued down the hallway. “She was young though- definitely a fan, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t really want to crush her dreams in front of all of those people.”

“Man, that’s good. She’d probably be super upset, right? Good job!” He throws you an enthusiastic thumbs up, all shark teeth and bright eyes. “Still though- I shoulda guessed it was somethin’ crazy like that. You looked totally freaked out back there!” 

“Did I really?”

“Mhm,” He nods, finally stopping in front of Bakugou’s door. “I- uh, I better stay out here. He’ll be real mad if I let anyone else through. Especially if you’re in there.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” You push the handle open, turning back for just a moment. “Nice to see you, though. Thanks again for the save, Kirishima!” 

When you enter the room, you’re surprised to find Bakugou, grumpy and sitting in a chair next to the window. And not in his hospital bed resting- where you’re almost 100% sure he should be. He’s clad in a weird combination of hospital pants and his own sweatshirt- it only serves to make him look even more petulant as he sits with his pinched expression.

“You seemed real buddy-buddy with Shitty Hair.” He grumbles, but there’s a smile beginning to tug at his lips as you near. “You think he’s better than me or some shit?”

“Oh- yeah. Loads. Loads better actually.” You joke, taking the vacant seat next to him. When you turn to look at him, he’s already glaring at you. “Oh calm down, grumpy, I was joking. Box dye and bandanas aren’t really my thing.”

Bakugou laughs. “He’s been pullin’ that shit since high school. Kinda losin’ all hope he’ll ever be cool.”

“Hey- don’t be mean! Maybe he’s just an extra-late bloomer, you never know.” You sigh, fixing him with a serious stare. “Now, though, we should really move onto more pressing matters.”

“Which are?”

“You in one of these chairs, and not in a hospital bed!” You near shrieked. “Which- by the way, I looked it up- four stories is 40 feet! You fell 40 fuckin’ feet and you’re not in a hospital bed, right now!” 

Bakugou just rolls his eyes, fixing his gaze on the window once more. “Stop your freakin’ out already, woman, I’ll be fine. I’m already healed from all the big injuries anyway- so just shut the fuck up about it already.” 

“The big injuries- what about the small ones? Bakugou! 40 feet! Do you know how much that is! I feel like you’re not taking this seriously enough!” 

“Who cares.” He shrugs, settling into his seat with a slight wince. “Didn’t fuckin’ kill me, so who cares.” 

“Me! You idiot! How many times do have to make this clear to you!” 

Bakugou just looks at you, eyes widening as he breath catches. He looks genuinely and plainly shocked- easily the most expressive you’d seen him be aside from rolling in pure anger.

“I already told you, you fuckin’ asshole, that I like you and care about you! So of course I’m happy that you’re not dead, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the small stuff!” You emphasized, sighing as you run an errant hand through your hair. “And I can see you’re still fucking hurt, so of course I’m going to freak out when you’re not in a hospital bed- like you should be, and you’re not sitting there resting- like you should be! Who the hell even helped you up? Why the fuck would they ev-”

“Shut up already. I get it.” He mumbles, and when you look at him his cheeks are bright red and he’s biting his knuckle. His eyes are alive though- bright and simmering and so very, very red. “I got up myself. Don’t go blamin’ anyone else for it.” 

“God. Of fucking course you did! You know- you make yourself really hard to care for, right?” 

“I know.”

“And it’s just like- I do it anyway, you know! And get shit-all nothing but anxiety and still choose to do it anyway! You’re so fucking frustrating!”

“I know.”

You turn to look at him, but he’s already looking at you, something soft and pleased growing at the edge of his lips. 

“No! Don’t just sit there and start smiling.” You huff, pointing an emphatic finger at his stupid smiling face. “I’m mad at you and you need to go back to bed so don’t just fuckin’ smile at me!” 

“I get it.”

“No, obviously, you dont! Because you’re not getting up! So, c’mon,” You stand from your chair, offering a hand. “Let me help you.”

Bakugou just looks at your hand, glares at it, and stands by himself. You can see the strain plainly on his face- how the action winds him and how it sends pain shooting through his battered body. When you look at his eyes though, all you can see is resolute stubbornness. With great effort, and even greater determination, Bakugou manages to hobble over to the wall, dropping against it. His shoulders hit first, and then he’s rolling all of his weight back onto them.

You were stunned- not that he chose to do it, because of course he chose to, but mostly that he’d succeeded. You’d seen a clip of his fall, it was playing on the news before you’d left your house, and it looked nasty. When he hit the ground, all of his limbs were so mangled and impact alone knocked him out clean. The injuries he still had, broken bones and cracked ribs, at the very least, must’ve still been causing him great pain- and yet he surpassed those with sheer force of will alone. It would’ve impressed you; if seeing him in so much pain didn’t make you so sad.

“That didn’t look comfortable. I really think you need crutches, angry man.” You point to the bed. “Or you could just go lay back down, like you’re supposed to, and we could forget this whole argument.”

“No thanks. Done bein’ fucking fussed over. The only reason I haven’t left yet is because there’s people everywhere.” 

“And because you’re not supposed to, remember?”

“No. It’s good now. Nurse said I could.” He says, groaning when you stare back at him entirely unimpressed. He points to a bundle of papers and medication on the bed. “Look, gave me all the discharge instructions and everything. I’m not fucking lying.”

You walk over, flipping quickly through the packet of instructions. Bakugou wasn’t lying- he really was approved for discharge apparently, albeit under very specific instructions for not over-exerting himself. Which he was obviously doing so great at so far. 

Sighing, you folded the papers and placed them in the bag with all of his medicine. Regardless of what he wanted, you were going to make sure he took care of himself. And that included, taking all of the medication and performing the physical therapy outlined on the papers.

“Alright, then. Guess we’re going, after all.” You clap your hands together in finality, before grabbing the bag of medication. “I still think you need crutches though.”

You look him up and down, eyes zeroing in on the way he was huddled against the wall. All his weight was in his shoulders, and in any other situation, you might’ve thought it was an effortlessly cool pose- but not here. Not in this hospital room with him dressed in weird clinical sweats and a childish expression.

“I’m not getting crutches. Lame as shit.”

“Are you kidding me? Your body is literally beat to hell- who cares about how cool you look right now?”

Bakugou just nods toward the window, and you peer down to see the crowd from earlier still gathered below. It seemed like cameras and reporters had also joined, and they were making a worrying amount of headway to the door, pushing against security impatiently. It looked entirely overwhelming, if you were honest.

“If I leave with crutches,” He starts. “Then I gotta hear about that shit for fuckin’ weeks.”

“Are you serious?” You ask appalled. “You’re obviously injured! What the hell are they even gonna s-“

Bakugou just hits you with a pointed stare, and it stops you in your tracks.

He’s right. Any weakness- even crutches when injured- would read bad for his career. It would shatter the illusion people had of him. Of his infallibility and limitless strength.

“It’ll draw too much fuckin’ attention,” He elaborates, pulling the hood over his head. “No shitty sweatshirt could help me then.”

“Wait, that’s your disguise for sneaking out? A sweatshirt?”

Bakugou just nods, suddenly pulling the hood up and over his head. It flattens his wild hair against his forehead, and you nearly squeal. He looks adorable- although still very much like himself. You weren’t so sure this disguise would cut it, but you were pretty much out of other options. It would have to make do.

“Yeah. Okay. I get it, put the hood back down.” You pause, trying your hardest to think of another solution. “How about a wheelchair?”

Bakugou just looks even more offended- like your last request was a front to his very dignity. Hell, knowing him as you did, you figured it probably was.

“Yeah, fine, I get it, angry man- no wheelchair.” You sigh. “At least let me help you then? I mean, it looks like you need something at least.”

“No. I fuckin’ don’t.” He refuses hotly, shifting his weight agitatedly against the wall. “I’m fine.”

You roll your eyes, you should’ve expected him to be difficult about this. It seemed that appearing weak was his greatest fear; you thought that was a little ironic- that his biggest weakness was weakness itself.

“Seriously- please. You look like you’re about to keel over where you stand, Bakugou!”

“I told you not to fuckin’ call me that, anymore.” He retorts angrily, but you watch him wince when he moves too much. “And I told you, I’m fine. So just shut the hell up about it already.”

You watch him for another moment, taking careful stock of the way he leans back on his shoulders and curls his arms around his sides. You didn’t ask him specifically- but you’re sure now, Bakugou’s at least got broken ribs- among many other broken and sprained things probably.

Fine, if he won’t readily accept your help, than you’ll just have to goad him into admitting his own failure.

“Hmm, sure, then step away from the wall then, hot shot.”

He’s quiet, but you watch as his eyebrows pinch and his cheeks redden.

“Why? Stop bein’ fuckin’ weird! I’m just standing for a second, leave me the hell alone, shitty woman.”

You just shake your head. It almost disgusts you how much rolling fondness smothers what should’ve definitely been annoyance.

“So, you’re telling me,” You start, walking a little closer to him. “That if you stepped away from this wall right now- that you wouldn’t immediately fold in half like a lawn chair?”

“No!”

“Okay. So do it then, pop rocks. C’mon. Let’s see.”

“I’m- I’m not just gonna fuckin’ do something just because you goddamn told me too!”

“Not even if it’s a challenge?” You tease, nearing him even more. You’re just a few measly feet away now, staring defiantly up at petulant red eyes. “Because it is- a challenge. I bet you that you can’t do it.”

“Fuck you.” He grits out, but then he’s pushing off his shoulders and standing straight. “See? That’ll teach ya to run your stupid mouth about shit you don’t know dick about.”

“Hmm, good words, Katsuki- expressive, even. We’ll see how long you last.”

He doesn’t say anything, but you can see his jaw clenched down; his shoulder’s strung tightly, the slight twitch in his calves. Katsuki isn’t going to stay upright for much longer.

You move before you even recognize it, sidling up to him and ducking under his arm.

“What are you- Stop! Get the hell away!” He barks harshly, but stands in place, not really doing much other than flushing violently. “It’s- I don’t need your fuckin’ help!”

“No, Katsuki, chill out- stop,” You laugh, rearranging his heavy arm over your shoulder. “If we’re doing this then I’m going to help you!”

“Lemme go! I’ll fuckin’ crush you, I don’t need your help!”

“Okay, yes, fine, maybe you don’t need it, but it would make me feel a whole lot better if you accepted it,” You huff, your hand wrapped tight around his wrist. “And you won’t crush me- I’m a big girl, I promise I’ll be fine. So just stop being stubborn- for me? Please?”

He growls, rolling his eyes to the ceiling- but then he’s shuffling closer to you and shaking his head. If you thought his arm was heavy before, you were sorely mistaken- when Katsuki finally surrenders, the solid weight of all his muscles nearly takes you out. You stumble for a moment before regaining your balance.

“Idiot. Thought you said you could handle it?” Katsuki looks down at you, smirking slightly before once again rolling his eyes. “Now, c’mon, fuckin’ get on with it, sunshine.”

You resist the sudden slight urge to nudge his ribs, or let him collapse to the ground- this was your idea, and you wouldn’t let your child of a soulmate talk you out of helping him.

“So, I was thinking-“ You begin to shuffle with him, slightly breathless. “We sneak out the back. Or something. There’s a crowd outside.”

“Already established that, several times, fuckin’ ages ago, dipshit- and of fuckin’ course there is. It’s me.”

“Oh my god, this is not the time for your ego!” You groan, but still keep a steady pace as you begin, towards the door. “Speaking of, though, one of your fangirls told me somethin’ real interesting on the way in, though.”

“Christ. What?”

“Apparently, she’s your soul mate.” You laugh, shallowly, trying to project a confidence you couldn’t feel. “C’mon, Katsuki, you should’ve told me! Total dick move that I had to find out from her!”

He scoffs, patting your shoulder with the hand strung across it. “You fuckin’ tell her off or somethin’?”

“Nope. I told her that I think you guys would make a really cute couple!”

“Are you fuckin’ serious?”

“No- of course not.” You say stopping in front of the door for a quick break. You suddenly weren’t sure whether you could really do this or not. “I didn’t say much of anything, really, didn’t know if I could.”

“Hah?” He looks down at you funny, red eyes squinting. “Fuck’s that mean?”

“You know, your career? Didn’t wanna say anything just in case.”

“Incase’a what?”

“I- I don’t know,” You stutter, suddenly feeling insecure. You focus your eyes on the tiles beneath your feet so you don’t have to look at his eyes. Eyes that you can feel boring into the side of your head. “Just in case, you know?”

“No. I fuckin’ don’t.” He says, mild irritation coloring his voice from above you. “Stop thinking so goddamn much, I can’t fuckin’ keep up- just tell me what you’re all worked up over.”

“It’s-“ You sigh, ringing your hands together anxiously. “You’re- you’re not embarrassed, right? Because, I know I shouldn’t have done this but I was looking you up again, and I just- I didn’t see anything about you having a soulmate? Anywhere? Ever? Do you just not want people to know or- because that’s totally fine, you know, like I get it, you’ve got this super big career outside of me and I’m totally fine if you just wanna like not say anything to anyone or lik-“

“Idiot. Stop thinking so much.” Bakugou tilts his head towards the ceiling. “I’m not fuckin’ embarrassed of you.”

“T-then why?” You ask hesitantly, while staring at your feet. You’re not sure if it’s the jarring movement as he rearranges his weight or your racing heart, but either way you’re feeling sick. “Actually- you know what, it’s fine, forget I even said anything. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Bakugou doesn’t say anything, just nods and stays silent. Then he looks down at you, at the way you won’t meet his eyes, and he groans.

“Fuckin- fine. God, you always make me say the most embarrassing shit.” He gripes, flushing slightly as you finally look up at him. “It’s not because of any of that stupid shit. It’s- I fuckin’, ugh, I didn’t want somebody else findin’ you or whatever before I did.”

“What? Find me? Who?”

“God, you’re fuckin’ dense.” He scoffs, but when you look up he’s still smiling lazily down at you. “People. Media. Fuckin’ villians probably too.”

“Holy shit.”

“Chill out. I kept fuckin’ quiet so you don’t gotta worry about that now. Besides-“ He turns his head away, cheeks flushing slightly. “I’d blast all those fuckin’ weaklings to hell if they tried anything now. So don’t get all anxious about it or whatever.”

You just look down at your feet, smiling at his words but still feeling unsure nonetheless. You understood- for sure, but that didn’t mean the weight of all these consequences was easy to bear.

“Now can we go? Are we done worryin’ about stupid shit?” He asks lightly, jostling you slightly. “Got more important things to do.” 

You nod, opening the door just to watch Kirishima stumble backwards.

“Oi- shitty hair! What’re you leanin’ against my door like that for?”

“Oh! Hey guys!” He greets cheerfully, before taking stock of the situation. He tilts his head. “You guys leaving?”

“Obviously.” Bakugou scoffs, but then he’s leaning in toward his friend, dropping his other hand heavy on the red-head’s shoulder. “Need ya to distract anyone who walks up here though. Gonna leave the other way and go out the fuckin’ back.” 

“Oh- yeah, okay! Got it, man! You sure you should be leaving though?”

“That’s what I said.” You interrupt, glaring Bakugou into silence as he tries to speak. “But he insisted- and I’ve got all his meds and instructions so I think we’ll be alright. Maybe. If we’re lucky.”

“Don’t just fuckin’ talk about me like I’m not standin’ right here, shitty woman!”

“I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so difficult all the time!” You retorted. “Now, you can handle it from here, right Kirishima? We really could use your help.”

“Yep! Totally got this! You guys go on ahead, I’ll stand guard right here!” He flashes a bright smile at you, before pointing down the hall. “There’s a staff elevator just down there. You should use that- it’ll probably be way faster. Good luck!” 

You just nod, smiling brightly at him as you pull Bakugou in that direction.

“Oi- not so fuckin’ fast!” He shouts, stumbling slightly.

“Keep your voice down, angry man! Everyone’s gonna know it’s you!”

“How the fuck is my voice gonna give it away?” He says, while simultaneously screaming like a banshee in the middle of an otherwise quiet hallway.

“Like that! So keep it down, good fucking lord.” You grumble, a breath of relief leaving your mouth as you finally near the elevator. You push the button, sighing as the doors open.

Bakugou shuffles away from you, leaning against the back wall and staring moodily at you as you press the button. The elevator surges downward, and after a minute or so the doors began to open again. You shouldered his arm once more looking up to see him pulling the hood of the sweatshirt farther down his face. He looked adorable and you couldn’t keep yourself from staring.

“Oi- fuck you lookin’ at, woman?”

“Nothing.” You laughed. “Now, c’mon, we’ve still got a ways to go.”

Sneaking Bakugou out was no easy affair to begin with, and he certainly didn’t help whatsoever. His frame was just too large and too heavy, and there was no possible way he could be quiet, especially considering his thundering steps, even when he wasn’t screaming. He seemed to attract attention no matter where he was or what he was doing. People were starting to stare as you booked it towards the back exit- you needed to move. And quick.

“Jesus christ,” You huffed, breathless and slightly irritated. You point at his stomach as you pull him along. “I know you’re hurt, but could you at least try and engage those core muscles you so obviously have?”

“You said you’d be fuckin’ fine, sunshine.”

“God, you’re difficult.” You shook your head, rolling your eyes at the sight of his amused little half-smile. “You think this is funny don’t you?”

Bakugou doesn’t say anything, but when you look up at him, there’s still that small smile edging at his lips. He seems to hold it, even through his grunts of obvious pain.

“Wow, of course you do. Immature, angry, loud man.”

“Who says I’m fuckin’ loud?” He asks hotly, pulling his shoulders in as you both shimmy through the, admittedly, small back door. “I’m not fucking loud!”

“God, you’re screaming right now! Do you even hear yourself?” You wince, but feel relieved as you help him hobble to the curb. “How’s a taxi sound, pop rocks?”

“Don’t fuckin’ call me that. I hate it. Don’t do it again.” He grumbles. “But it’s fine- whatever, I don’t care.” 

“Great.”

You raise your hand up, nearly crying in relief when a taxi rolls up to the curb. When you help Bakugou in, and slide in the seat next to him, you’re almost overcome with satisfaction. Sneaking him out was one of the most difficult tasks you thought you’d ever taken on- both physically and mentally, and god, were you glad it was over.

--/--

As it turns out, explosive personalities don’t always lend themselves to explosive environments.

Bakugou’s apartment was clean, tidy, nearly spotless when you helped him walk in. It surprised you, truly, but he didn’t let you sit on that thought for long. He brushed you off, hobbling slowly down a long hallway without a word. It takes a few minutes, but Bakugou enters the room at the end and slams the door shut behind him.

Oh- What exactly were you supposed to do now?

In reality your fingers were itching to open drawers and rifle through cabinets, and just generally snoop but you, of course, knew better. So you instead chose to read through the instruction papers and medications once more- just to busy yourself and maybe see if there was anyway you could help him. Since, apparently, Bakugou was not keen on asking you for assistance himself.

You hear the door open again, and Bakugou comes unsteadily down the hallway, nearly collapsing when he reaches his couch. He’s dressed in new sweats, and he turns to look at you.

“Fuck you doin’ over there?”

“Meds, angry man.” You say, doling out the few necessary pills from a bottle. “Where’s your glasses?”

“You don’t have to fuckin’ do that.”

“What- you’re gonna force yourself to get up again?” You ask him, unimpressed. “You’re hurt, so just please let me help you. At least with this.”

He nods tightly, mouth pressed into a thin line. “Glasses are in the cabinet behind ya.”

You nod, filling a glass of water for him and walking the medication over. Watching as he took it, you weren’t exactly sure what to do now. So you just sort of hovered next to the couch, arms around your stomach anxiously.

“What’re you doing- sit the fuck down already, idiot.” He pats the seat next to him. “Stop being weird. Freaks me the hell out.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” You laughed. “Just didn’t wanna assume- in case you wanted me to leave or something.”

“Wouldn’t have let you in if I wanted you to leave. Dumbass.” He reaches over, flicking your forehead lightly. “Your stupid thoughts are clogging up the air. Stop it.”

“Hey!” You whine, rubbing at your forehead. “Not nice, angry man! I’ll let it go this time, but try it again and I promise you’ll really be hurting.”

“Mhm. I’m sure.”

He settles further into the couch, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. The mid-day sun floods through the window, hitting the column of his throat, and casting him in gold. You think he’s beautiful then. Far more beautiful than anyone else you’d ever known.

“Yeah, sorry.” You breathe out, suddenly a little nervous by your close proximity to him. “Think those’ll probably make you a little sleepy.”

“Fuckin’ stellar.”

“Don’t sound so grumpy- it’s just a nap. And besides, you should probably be taking one anyway.”

“It’s not that.” He peeks an eye open, lazily rolling his head to catch your gaze. “You hungry?”

“No- I’m good. Are you?” You ask suddenly. “I can totally get you something? Or make you something? What do you have here? What do you want?”

“Jesus, sunshine. Slow the fuck down.” He breathes, turning his head back to the ceiling with a small, fond, smile. He sighs sleepily. “I’m good. Just wanted to ask ya.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

He mumbles something, but you don’t quite catch onto it. It’s quiet for a few moments, before his breathing is starting to slow. Your surprised at just how tired he seems to be, but then again, he was taking some pretty strong pain meds. As it stands now, he seemed minutes from falling asleep, and you were worried about the strain he was putting on his neck.

“Hey- you shouldn’t fall asleep like that.” You touch his shoulder lightly, fingers just barely brushing the fabric of his shirt. “Lay down, I’ll get up.”

Bakugou just opens his eyes, only glancing at you for a moment before he closes them again. Then he’s tipping over, a flurry of heavy limbs and awkward weight hitting your lap. When you look down at him, his eyes are squeezed tightly closed and he’s blushing wildly. He kicks his feet up off the floor, and settles in, quickly becoming deadweight across your thighs.

“O-oh.” You say, breathless. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Mhm. Now shut the fuck up, I’m tryin’ to sleep.” 

“Yeah.” 

You’re winded, short of breath and flushing bright red from his actions; but still, you find you absolutely can’t help yourself. So, with shaking breaths, you’re carding fingers through his hair before you can think better of it. 

When you look down at him, Bakugou’s only gone brighter red, but he’s smiling too. He stills, before suddenly peaking one eye open.

“Wake me up for dinner, alright, idiot?”

You nod and then he’s closing his eyes again, chest rising and falling slowly. He’s asleep and dead to the world in just a few minutes, but you can’t stop staring.

You knew you liked him- liked him a lot, as a person, not just a soulmate. You liked his weird brand of humor and his insults and death threats. You liked his masked concern and blunt words, you were even strangely fond of his yelling- but you weren’t prepared for just how much those feelings would amplify when he was so close. He was close, and warm, and breathing under your fingertips and you liked him so much. More than you’d ever liked anything or anyone else in your entire life. 

You were stricken, absolutely smitten, and there was nothing you could do about it. Or even wanted to really. So you just stared, eyes tracking his calm features as you worked careful fingers through his soft hair.

You understood now- why so many of your peers had told you they were jealous. Why they had all sighed dreamily when you told them, before immediately wishing to be you. Having a soulmate was inexplicable completeness and undeniable purpose- it was finality and new beginnings all in one.

You understood now, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

//-//

ee soz this took so long!! no excuses lmao i just stupidly started playin genshin and holy shIT was that bad for my productivity ahahaha

hope u enjoy my lovelies!!!!

[stillebesat]

Code: Blanket

Sanders Sides: Janus, Virgil, (Logan & Remus mentioned) Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort Prompt: “If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.” with Anxceit? (platonic is 100% good for me) Blurb: A friendship doesn't stop just because one person decides to act like a dick. Especially when said dick is obviously in trouble. Overall Fic Warnings: Homophobia talk, Neglectful/Abusive Parents implication, Capitol Riot references. Taglist in Reblog

Janus Daemon @TheGatekeeper *12m To the ‘family’ that locked me in our unfinished attic these past 4 months to “knock the Antifa sh!t” out of me; Pretty sure this is worse than anything I’d have done. Don’t bother deleting the evidence of your ‘trip.’ It’s already been passed onto the proper Authorities. Cheers.

Virgil shot upright in bed, staring at the tweet and the handful of photos from the storming of the Capitol that Dee had attached along with it. “No way.” He breathed. No freaking way.

Janus. Janus Daemon, the goodie-two-shoes who always obeyed his parents and followed their lead...had actually turned them in as Capitol rioters?

He frowned, tapping on his phone to blow up the images so he could see the people within them better. Yah, no. Even if it had been ages since he’d seen Dee’s family...there was no denying that two of the dozen faces circled and labeled in the pictures were the same parental figures that he remembered sneering down at him before they forcefully dragged their son off the playground when he was six.

That had been right after...Virgil hunched his shoulders. After his Dad’s divorce from his Mom. Apparently hanging out with a child who only had a Dad in the picture was a big “NO” in their messed up book of rules.

Not that that had stopped them from becoming secret best friends in school...well until last year that is….when his Dad had married Remus.

That had...been rough...when word got out--well reached Dee’s parents and they’d stormed the school to find their son working on a project in the library with him, the ‘hooligan freak who dared to be okay with having two dads when it was unnatural to the natural order of things.’

He’d known, from Janus, that his parents were uptight...but that day had shown him how all Daemons were a Demonic Clan of Super Karens that had campaigned nearly as hard as the President to force both his Dad and Remus from their jobs in order to protect the community from their sort.

Unfortunately for the Daemons, they’d picked the wrong family to mess with. Not when his Dad, Logan Andrews, was considered to be the best lawyer in the state, if not the country. Not when his new husband, Remus Knight, had just finished performing a life saving surgery on the governor's daughter. No. The Daemons may be influential, but they were nothing compared to his parents when their Momma Bear instincts were roused.

Honestly...to discover that the entire group had drunk the kool-aid and actually stormed the Capitol to support the Orange Cheeto shouldn’t be so surprising.

Well...not everyone.

Virgil frowned, glancing back up to the first part of the tweet before he hit his contacts, scrolling through them to find Janus’s name only to hesitate over pressing the call button.

He hadn’t spoken to Dee in a year. Not since that fiasco. Not since his so called friend had taken his parent's side and cut off all contact, purposely burning the bridges of their friendship with sneers, glares...and well---

Virgil exhaled, closing his eyes.

Could a Demon change their stripes? Could Janus...could he---

Sure...it appeared he was finally rebelling against his parents...but he had no idea what Dee thought of him---Virgil gritted his teeth. It didn’t matter. “I made a promise.” He whispered, slowly opening his eyes.

Still. Maybe not a good idea to call. Janus had probably blocked his number anyways---

He swiped out of his contacts, switching to his barely used Facebook Messenger where he picked out Janus’s name from there, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Dee probably still wanted nothing to do with him.

He swiped a single word...once again hesitating over sending it.

They hadn’t talked in a year.

This could go so wrong.

And yet--

He hit send.

Virgil: Blanket?

He bit his lip, barely breathing as he stared at the little check mark symbol showing that Dee’s account had at least received the message.

Not that he really expected a response. It was Facebook after all. But Janus had just turned his family in. Did he have a place to stay? Had he been fed? Just how bad had it been for him to be locked in an unfinished attic over the summer by the people who supposedly loved him? Who had proclaimed they wanted to protect him. If---

His heart skipped a beat as the checkmark switched to Janus’s profile picture.

Dee had seen the message.

He stopped breathing as the three typing dots appeared.

Janus: Seriously?

“Ha.” Virgil relaxed, running shaking fingers through his hair. Not a totally unexpected response after everything. But far better than the hate filled rant he’d half expected to get. That had to be a good sign right? He had come up with that particular coded phrase as a way to judge his friend’s needs when Dee had pulled him into the hollow of an old oak tree on his way to the bus the day after his fateful encounter with the Super Karens on the playground with tears shining in his eyes.

Janus hadn’t wanted to return home that day because his parents had been so mad at him for playing with Virgil. He hadn’t understood why having only a Dad was bad--

He hadn’t been as understanding when Virgil ended up with two.

Virgil rolled off the bed, stuffing his feet into his shoes as he sent a one word answer back.

Virgil: Yes.

No typing dots appeared even though he could see that Dee had seen his response.

Unsurprising. Dee was probably wondering if this was some sort of trick, if there was a catch. Why would Virgil of all people contact him out of the blue after how he’d treated him?

He pulled his hoodie over his head, swiping his keys and face mask from his desk as he took a chance and pressed call, holding his phone up to his ear, listening to it ring as he left his room and moved downstairs.

A click sounded in his ear right before the voicemail could activate.

Janus had picked up, Virgil could hear the faint sound of sirens in the background, the shaky barely controlled breathing.

He wasn’t saying anything though.

That was fine. Not normal for Dee, who always liked to have the first and last word but Virgil could work with this.

“Offer still stands, Dee.” He said, keeping his voice low as he moved past Dad and Remus’s darkened bedroom, heading to the front door. “I’ve told you a million times that if you don’t know where to go you can always come here. You acting like the world’s biggest dick doesn’t change that.”

Janus may have thrown their friendship out of the figurative door...but Virgil--well he...hadn’t. Not really. He had been hoping Dee would come around--not like this...but if this could get his best friend back---

“You can’t mean that, Annie.” The voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “Not after--”

“Dude.” Virgil tsked, scribbling a quick note to his parents because Dad would hear the car start up and be up like a shot once he realized Virgil was leaving after hours. “You just posted that you were locked up in your attic by your so-called parents.” He pulled open the front door, quickly slipping out before he jangled his car keys by the phone. “Unless you say Nest right now, I’m coming to get you and dragging you back. So. Blan--” He looked up and froze, staring at the shadowy figure hovering just outside the gate. ”-ket?”

Janus huffed in his ear, the figure at the gate shifting to grab onto one arm, rubbing it as they shuffled back a step.

Dee did that whenever he was nervous. Whenever he was afraid he was making the wrong choice.

He hadn’t spoken to Virgil in a year.

Yet he was already here.

Virgil was off the porch and jumping over the gate in a flash, grabbing onto Janus before his friend could change his mind and bolt. “Dee.”

Janus flinched, slowly lowering the phone, a crumpled face mask hanging from one ear, ragged hair half covering a deep purple bruise and three long scratches by his left eye as he ducked his head. “If...I said...Fort?’ He whispered, shoulders hunching as if expecting a physical blow.

Blanket Fort. A need for Protection. For Safety.

Virgil growled, tugging his friend into his arms, holding him tight, heart throbbing as Dee practically melted into him like a shaking leaf, breath hitching as his fingers dug into Virgil’s hoodie.

How long had it been since anyone had treated Dee with any compassion? Four months locked up in an attic. His family halfway across the country committing treason. Had they even left him any food when they left? Probably not from how bony Dee felt now in his arms.

“Janus.” Virgil said softly, holding him tighter as his friend shuddered in his arms, running careful fingers through his greasy hair. “I told you. You can always stay here.”

Part 2

[zhongli-simp-blog]

My Mate

Werewolf AU

Pairings: Leedo x Male Reader

Requested: No

A/N: This is my first time writing a werewolf AU so I hope I did good. I will definitely be doing a Part 2

The day was like any other day for you. You were becoming a beta in the pack and were on a scouting run for any potential dangers in the area. There has been an increase of Werewolf hunters and vampires in the past years, so your pack and the neighboring packs were always on the constant move. At the current camp, your alpha decided it was enough room for two wolf packs to stay. “The ones on patrol, return to the camp,” the alpha said through wolf telepathy. The pack wasn’t significant. We had a total of 100 fellow wolves, and the other one had about 50.

“Betas! Front and center!” Your alpha called once you all returned, you and your fellow betas all lined up, “later tonight, we will have a meeting with our fellow pack. I expect you all to be there.” Your alpha commanded, followed by a string of “yes sir!” from you and the other betas, “alright back to your duties.” You returned to your cabin that you lucked out on, not having to share it with the other members. “I heard that another pack has a new alpha, and our alpha wants to marry off one of our people to conjoin the two wolf packs.” You overheard someone from out the door. You didn’t think much of it and took a nap knowing this meet will be a long one.

You woke up smelling an unfamiliar scent of lavender was almost suffocating. It made your wolf curious. You followed the other members to where the meeting was at. The aroma was more potent now, with every inch of your senses was overcome the smell of lavender. You had to hold your wolf back from going crazy and finding the source. You took your seat, looking up and noticing the unfamiliar wolves sitting across from you, scanning the other pack. Your eyes glanced over a certain man who was staring at you and only at you. He had pitch-black hair, chocolate brown eyes, lips that seem to be soft, and he had this alpha aura radiating. It made your wolf quiver, Mate! Your wolf said, and you panicked, not ready to be mated, especially to someone from another pack.

You turned your attention to your alpha walking to the center, trying to pry your eyes away. “Evening, my fellow wolves, Alpha Seoho and myself, decided to hold this meeting to inform you guys of an essential step for the fellow packs.” Your Alpha gestured to who you assumed to be Seoho, “we have a member who is going to become alpha, and both your alpha and myself thought this would be a perfect opportunity to unify our packs.”

While listening to what the alpha was saying, you could still feel a pair of eyes staring at you, and his scent surrounds you, almost like he was trying to make sure the other wolves knew you now belonged to him. And it was getting noticeable as you saw wolves from both your pack and their pack scrunching their noses. Even a few were looking between him and you.

“It is our tradition that no wolf can become alpha without being married, so your alpha proposed that he chooses someone from his pack to marry. Now Leedo, please come up,” the guy who never removed his eyes from you was now standing beside alpha Seoho. All the girls in your pack started swooning and practically lining up to marry him. “The name is Leedo,” he says in a voice so deep and full of confidence it made your wolf want to claim him right here. The girls all started raising their hands, offering to be married to him. You avoided looking at him and tried to hide your face.

Leedo started scanning through all the girls, and you saw his feet standing in front of you with the scent of lavender and desire swarming you. Mate! Mate! Your wolf kept on shouting, but you knew he would never pick a new beta like yourself, especially if he is the new alpha. He would want a strong woman who could fight and also carry on the bloodline of both packs. His feet never left that spot, only making you look up and seeing his face only inches from you, “you are an interesting one, cute too,” he said, the last part quieter where only you could hear it.

Leedo walked back to stand next to his alpha “dude. You are covering this entire area with your scent. Calm it down a bit. Now, which one is making you like this?” Leedo nudges his head towards you, and it made Seoho shocked, “really? You sure?” Leedo nodded “my wolf is going crazy, and it’s even stronger. Is this that alpha feeling?” Seoho nodded. Every pack believes that alphas have a stronger sense when it comes to finding their mates. Some think it’s because of the alpha bloodline others think it’s the process of being an alpha. “I have never thought it would be a guy,” Leedo says, making Seoho laugh, “I told you that your mate would be the one you least expect.”

“Has the alpha-to-be chosen who he wants to marry? We have many fine women.” Your alpha asked, and both Seoho and Leedo nodded, “Leedo has chosen who his bride will be!” Your alpha shouted, making your pack call in excitement, and the girls squeal. “Please, Leedo, go to who you pick,” Seoho said, gesturing. Leedo nodded and did not hesitate and walked directly in your direction. You looked back and saw the two girls behind you and hurried out of the way to give him a clear path to them. Leedo still only walked in your direction, making you confused and worried, making the ground look interesting.

His feet stopped in front of you, “look alive, beta!” Your alpha shouted, making you jump and look up to see Leedo pointing at you. “Move out of the way. You are blocking him!” Your alpha shouted again, so you stood up to move, but Leedo grabbed your wrist “where are you going?” You hesitated, feeling an intense electric feeling through your body, “I apologize for being your way,” avoiding his gaze and trying to release your hand. “In the way of what?” Leedo asked, confused, “of you picking your future wife.” He laughs and pulls you closer, your wolf screaming for more. “I choose you to be my lover,” he admits making the rest of your pack gasp.

“Are you sure you want him? He is a new beta, and we have plenty of oth-” your alpha got cut off by Leedo, “I said I choose him,” he said, flashing his golden alpha eyes. “I think you know just how important a mate is to a wolf,” Seoho stepped in, trying to de-escalate the situation. Your alpha nodded.

Later that night, you walked back to your cabin, trying to wrap your head around everything that just happened. “Why did someone like Leedo pick a low-class beta-like him? We have plenty of better wolves, and yet he chooses him.” You overhear one of the girls walking behind you, “Right? And all better looking, he should’ve been an omega.” They laugh, and you try to pretend that you didn’t hear what they were saying.

“Do you think that Leedo guy will go through with his choice? I bet it’s only a prank,” another guy chimes into the convo. “Yeah, that’s what happened. He probably lost a bet,” they all laughed. “BETA!” You jump at your alpha’s voice, “what kind of game are you playing? Are you trying to embarrass the pack?!” He yells, making hang your head low, “I swear I did not plan anything,” You say, trying to convince him. “You now get the night scouting, alone.” You nod your head in agreement, “now get out of my sight,” you quickly left your cabin as the other wolves were snickering. You tried to hide the tears forming, not wanting to seem weak.

It was getting late, and you decided to walk to the edge of the camp, ready for the night scouting, “I heard that Leedo did lose a bet and had to choose the weakest wolf we had,” you overheard someone say, and it didn’t only hurt you it hurt your wolf. You quickly shifted and ran deep into the forest, trying to get some distance between the camp. As you got into the woods, you saw a wolf black as the night with bright golden eyes looking right at you, your first reaction would have been to attack, but every inch of your body felt relaxed, almost like you knew the wolf.

The black wolf approached you, making it more visible, and saw it was twice as big. You tried to hold your ground, but as it got closer, your wolf got more and more submissive like it was responding to an alpha or a higher ranking wolf. The black wolf was finally standing in front of you, well, more like towering.

It started to circle you before stopping by your side. It then started nipping at your leg and rubbing its fur against yours. That’s when you smelled that lavender scent, and it dawned on you that the wolf was Leedo. He nudged his head, signaling you to follow him, and your wolf followed. Walking beside him, you took in his wolf features, and his fur was thick and long, which made it easy for him to blend into the dark.

Leedo looked back, making sure you were still following him. He felt lucky that you happened to be out at the same time he was. Leedo’s wolf took the opportunity to mark you with his scent so other wolves would know that you are his. He also couldn’t help to notice that your fur was pure white like snow. It only made Leedo’s wolf want you even more.

Leedo led you to a nearby lake only to walk behind and tree. When he came back around his wasn’t a wolf anymore and fully dressed. “Take these clothes and change. It’s kinda difficult to talk if you are a wolf.” He laughed. You walked behind the same tree and shifted back, and changed into the clothes that he provided. “Thank You, Leedo,” thanking him nervously. “Come sit. I want to know you better,” he patted the spot in the grass which you took.

“So what would you like to know, alpha?” Leedo cringed at you, calling him alpha, “please call me Leedo. No need to be all formal with me, and why don’t we start with your name.” He said. “I’m sorry, and my name is Y/N,” now blushing from the embarrassment. He smiled, running his thumb across your cheek, “you are cute when you blush,” making your cheeks twice as red, “why did you pick me? Was it a bet?” You asked. Being blunter than intended, Leedo laughed, “no, it was not a bet. I chose you because my wolf did,” he said with a shy smile “maybe your wolf chose wrong. I am no right choice for anyone,” you comment which only made him mad “It It was not only my wolf but also me. Are you saying I am wrong too? I will not falter my choice, I already claimed you, or do I have to rub my scent on you again.” He said with a tone strong enough to make you and your wolf hold your heads down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to anger you,” you apologize, now picking at the grass. Leedo takes a deep breath and pulls you in closer to him, “I didn’t mean to snap.” He apologized as he kissed the side of your head.

“BETA! Return to camp IMMEDIATELY!” Your alpha commands, making you quickly get up, “I’m sorry, but my alpha is calling me back,” you say fast, but before you could go, Leedo grabbed your arm, “why do you have to go? Stay.” He begs, “I wish I could, but I will probably get a worse punishment than what I got today. Leedo’s blood started to boil from what you said, “what do you mean punishment? What was it?” You sighed, “I had night patrol alone.” You admit, and you saw Leedo’s face turn red with anger. Everyone knew that it’s perilous to be out alone, especially as a wolf with white fur-like yours, so it would be easily noticeable to enemies.

“Please don’t do anything, Leedo! I gotta go,” you say before shifting and running back to camp. “Beta, you have the clean-up duty from the meeting. Get to it,” your alpha commands as you return. Nodding, you head to the now empty field and start picking up the scraps and other various trash. The whole time all you could think about is Leedo.

[migilini]

Not So Secret Anymore - Charlie Gillespie

summary: It’s hard to hide a relationship from the public, particually when both work on the same show.

words: 2.5k

warnings: fluff

a/n: not my fave but i still somehow like it.

Requests are open :)

MASTERLIST

------------------------------------------------------

September

"When do we have our first interview?" you asked the boy whose head was in your lap. He looked up from his phone and your eyes locked with his green ones "Hmm, my calendar says in about 30 minutes."

You groaned at that and stopped playing with Charlie's hair which earned you a grunt and whine from him. "Sorry babe but I think I have to go, so I still have time to get ready and set up." You muttered and gave him a small kiss on his brown hair.

"Uhh fine." The weight lifted from your legs, you stood up and before you knew it you were thrown over his shoulder. Laughing, you slapped his butt and back repeatedly. "Babe! I mean it" you tried to press out between giggles, "we both decided to keep us a secret." He sat you down on the kitchen isle and cornered your body in between his arms, standing right in front of you, you're back hitting the kitchen cabinet.

"I know... come back later?" he asked and tilted his head, looking at you with big puppy eyes. "You know it." After a swift kiss, or rather a little make out session, you were on your way back to your own appartement. Just in time to change your top and put on a lip-gloss before opening your laptop and joining the interview.

"Hello everybody! I'm here with the cast of Netflix' Julie and the Phantoms that came out on Thursday. How are you guys?" the interviewer asked and smiled into the camera of his laptop. The whole cast chirped in with a good, great, or amazing.

"That's fantastic!" he clapped his hands "Now, Jeremy, how would you describe your Character and the show in general?"

"It's a show about ghosts from 1995 who come back 25 years later and join a band with Julie who didn't sing a note after her mother died. Reggie, the character that I play, is one of those ghosts and he is a loveable himbo. Did I use that word correctly Maddie?"

Maddie smiled and the interviewer changed the topic "Madison and y/n, birds have told me that this was your first ever acting job is that right?"

You nodded and signaled Maddie to speak first "Yes, and it was both amazing and traumatizing! I was so nervous, but the crew really helped to calm me down, especially y/n who just was in the same position as me, so we freaked out together most of the time." She smiled and the interviewer waited for you to answer. "Except, Maddie had a least some acting training at school, that's why she is the best. I more or less walked into the whole situation." You said laughing.

"I love this story." Jeremy exclaimed, making you slightly blush at his words.

"Would you be so kind and tell us?" the interviewer questioned and smiled at your little nod.

"Yes, yes of course. Well, I was on vacation with one of my good friends from back home..."

"She means Germany." Owen interrupted with a smile on his lips. "Yes, Owen. Thank you for adding important details. Anyways, we saw that there was an Open Audition nearby and though why not? We don't have anything to lose or to do on that particular day. And here I am, my friend sadly didn't get in."

"That really is an amazing story, I can see why Jeremy likes it so much. So, Charlie how would you describe y/n's and Luke's characters, she wasn't supposed to be in the script and was later added in right?" Charlie quirked up at the mention of your name and stated proudly. "Indeed, she impressed Kenny so much that he wrote a character just for her. He thought that Sunset Curve, the band name before we died, needed a female to handle their chaos or well... at least tries to. Y/N plays Allie, who against common speculation isn't any of the boys' love interest which is a very nice turn of events. She and Luke bud head a lot because Luke only thinks about music and the band and she tries hard to make him take breaks every now and then." 

A lovesick smile sat on your face while you listened to your boyfriend of nearly a year, once you realized your expression you quickly shook it off. Hiding this relationship was definitely going to be harder than expected.

The Interviewer asked some more questions before the last and dreaded question was thrown your way. "So, most of your fans are wondering if any of you guys are in a relationship." You and Charlie had discussed a million times before what you guys would say in such a moment, the two of you shared a look.

Jeremy's eyes switched from Charlie's box on his screen to y/n's before answering "I have a lovely wife! The rest of us are happily single, right guys?"

"100%" Maddie added, while Owen only shrugged, his dog conveniently jumping into his lap.

"How about the other two?" he eyed up the last remaining.

"Very single" Charlie laughed, and you agreed "Totally."

As time went on it was harder and harder for the two of you to hide the relationship, as you two spent nearly every day together and therefore did the same activities. Particularly after your social media accounts have gained over a million followers and people started to ship actors and tv show characters. But you two loved the little secret bubble you've created, there was no pressure to take good pictures together, or to post stories, to be asked a thousand questions about your relationship and no hate towards any of you.

December

It has been 4 months since the show released and the hype it got definitely was way more than you ever expected. It blew your mind. Currently, you are on Charlie and yours one-year anniversary / Christmas / good deeds vacation. Charlie and you found a good mix, that made you both happy, between chilling and doing adventurous things.

It was Christmas eve and Maddie wanted to do a 'guess the song Christmas Edition' with the main cast. Eagerly you agreed and hurried from the beach, where Charlie currently took the quiz at the bar you both sat on just minutes before, to your shared bedroom. You shot Maddie a quick text that you were 'out of the relationship zone' and ready when she was ready.

"Helloooo. How did the others do?"

"Not the worst but I still have faith in you to win this. ARE YOU READY?" she screamed the last part.

“I’m going to read you the lyrics of a christmas song and you have to guess the next line. There are certain cards that give one point and others give two. Whoever has the most points at the end…”

“Hopefully get your earrings” you asked with a sly smile and your shoulders raised.

Maddie laughed but shook her head “Sadly, no. I haven't figured out the price yet, but I for sure will! I like your backdrop by the way.” she added and you quickly looked behind you. You sat crisscrossed on the hotel room floor, you used the coffee table and a water bottle as a phonestand and used a white checkered wall as a background to try and hide the fact that you didn't sit in your living room.

January

“This should be the last box.” you cheered into the empty hall and shut the front door with a light push from your hip. Charlie popped his head out of the bedroom and walked over to, dropping his head on your shoulder in exhaustion. Nothing was set up, boxes stood randomly all over the apartment, the fridge stood there still empty and a lonely mattress covered the bedroom floor.

“The walls look a bit bare don't you think?” you said about a week later, standing in the middle of the now a bit furnished living room. Strong arms sneaked their way around your waist and a head dropped on your shoulder.

“Hmm… you're right. What do you have in mind?” Charlie said and turned you around so you were facing him. He smiled at the spark in your eyes “I was thinking, a yellow akzent wall with random secondhand pictures and some pictures of us, all in frames of course. So it's gonna have this homey and creative atmosphere.” You rambled on for a while longer, telling him where you think his instruments could go, the pillows you saw online and thought they worked perfect with the colour of the couch. Charlie just stared at you, a dumb smile on his lips with his arms around you.

“Do you not like it?” you noticed that he hasn't talked for a while and got worried. “I love it. We could live in a dumpster for all I care, as long as I have you by my side.” You fake gaged at his romantic words and gave him a kiss.

The first time people got really suspicious was the time you accidentally walked in on a live he had on Instagram. He sat in front of his instruments, phone propped up before him. You thought that he was already finished but you were wrong.

“Do you think this…” you walked into the room, a shirt in your hand that you just took out of the dryer and lost your words the moment you saw him sitting in front of his phone. He looked at you with wide eyes, his brain clearly searching for a good excuse. 

“Is that y/n?” he read outloud from the chat, gesturing you do sit next to him. “Yes it's her! We’re hanging out and she helped me with my washing because I somehow still don't know how to do it.” he laughed nervously, his hand grabbing yours out of the frame.

“He promised me food and I live really close by, so I thought I'll help this poor man out.”

May

Looking back at this moment now, you and Charlie weren't sure why you just didn't come clean. You didn't mean to hide the relationship this long, it just kinda happened and at one point it just got too awkward to tell. It was fairly easy to hide most of the time, you didn't most that much on instagram and Charlie only showed parts of his daily life.

The easiest was the time you filmed JATP Season 2. You were expected to hang out and live together. Back in 2019 you already lived with Owen and Charlie. This time poor Owen had to live with a couple instead of just two friends. (You were already dating for a while back then but didn't tell the cast, to not make a fuss.)

It wasn't like the fans didn't suspect a thing, especially after Owen posted a video of you two fooling around. 

Everybody sat outside, enjoying the everwarming sun on their skin. Half of the cast was already in costume just waiting for the break to end. In typical Allie (your character) fashion you wore an overall with a tight tank top underneath, your makeup stood out from the others with the heavy blush, freckles and black eyeliner. 

Charlie, in his Luke wardrobe, thought that it was funny to stand in front of you to shield you from the sun.

"Stop that" you whined and tried to shove him away, which was harder than you thought considering he stood before you and you sat on a bench.

"Make me." He flirted and stood even wider before you, puffing out his chest. Raising an unimpressed eyebrow, you stole his beany with a swift motion. His expresion quickly changed from cocky to shocked, snickering was heard from Maddie who was used to this type of behaviour.

"Ups… heavy wind blows in the shadows." You explained nonchalantly and pulled the beany on your head, sticking your tongue out at your boyfriend.

"Oh it's on my lady" he growled "I'm giving you a three second advantage. One…" your eyes widened and your heart rate picked up. "Two…" you got up and scanned the place internally making a good running line. "Th-.." you began sprinting across the lot. You heard the laughing from your castmates behind you as you and Charlie ran in circles. 

Unfortunately, he was still fitter and faster than you and about a minute into the running he had you thrown over his shoulder.

"Surrender!" he screamed as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.

"Never!" You screamed back and wiggled even harder.

"Surrender or i'll have to tickle you" he warned and those were the last words Owen was able to film before a producer yelled that the break was finished.

February

“Baby, if I would believe this News Article, you have a secret girlfriend, but it's not me.” you showed him your phone screen.

“I’m not cheating on you. I would never, i'd die rather than…” his frantic expression made you snort. “I know. Oh my god! People saw you with Lia.” you held his hands comfortably.

“Lia as in your best friend Lia?”

“The one and only. People noticed the hickeys... At least they’re getting closer now. So are we still on for the masterplan? You by instruments and I'm gonna sit in the bedroom?" He nodded and smiled at the sight of your equally plastered neck. 

Eventually, before you even were able to execute the as you'd like to say 'masterplan' your relationship got outed. I mean it was time, the two of you getting lazier with the hiding as time went by. 

Fans noticed that you wore a lot of Charlie's things and that you and him always seemed to be at the same place at the same time. It was actually one of your lives that spilled the secret. 

"That's a really nice akzent wall" you read outloud from the chat "oh thank you! It was a long process to get all the pictures but it was actually Charlie's idea to not only have pictures but also plane tickets, date memories and so on hung up on that wall. It really makes it homey. I think to get that wall this crowded it took us...what? About well since we moved in…" you didn't even realise what you said you just babbled and then it was out.

"Charlie actually is home! I could call him. Babe! Come here for a sec- oh my god!" Your hands flew up to your mouth in realizion. 

From that moment on you were public and your social media exploded once again. However the two of you were happy to finally show each other off.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: Nirvana in Fire, Episode 04

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning! Spoilers for all 54 episodes!

Schemes in Progress:

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Martial Arts Competition: Mei Changsu has a foolproof plan for defeating the lead contender, Baili Qi, who is the only contender who can actually beat Nihuang to win her hand. His plan appears to involve having small children beat the mighty warrior. In fact his plan is way simpler and more delightful than that, but I’ll discuss the specifics in a later post. It’s politically important to defeat Baili Qi, not just personally, because he represents a potential enemy state. 

Mu Nihuang’s Marriage//Sima Lei: The Crown Prince and his mom, Consort Yue, want to force Nihuang to marry their dude Sima Lei. The plan is to use Roofie Wine on her. Consort Jing gets wind of this plan and gets a counter-plan rolling. 

Getting Tingsheng Out Of The Palace: Mei Changsu uses the anxiety caused by Baili Qi’s badassery to get the Emperor to agree to his ridiculous kid-training plan, and then makes sure Tingsheng, the secret son of the late Prince Qi, is one of the kids he gets to train. 

Put Jingyan on the Throne: This scheme gets rolling, with a general pattern of Mei Changsu & team doing whatever they can to sink the leading contenders for the throne, which gives Jingyan an opportunity to rise up. The leading contenders tend to cooperate in their own sinking because they are ruthlessly ambitious, and Mei Changsu designs his plans to take advantage of that. 

Banquet Battle

After thoroughly disarming and whomping Jingrui, Baili Qi finishes by flinging Jingrui’s sword into the floor right in front of him. 

Jingrui, who hoped to literally cripple Baili Qi in this fight, has the nerve to be affronted by this. 

(More behind the cut!)

Baili Qi shows his impeccable barbarian manners, giving the Emperor a nice gesture of respect that is presumably local to Northern Yan. Meanwhile, Mei Changsu and Nihuang are snarking quietly at their table like a couple of high schoolers.

Mei Changsu pretends to be embarrassed when the Emperor tells them to share their joke with the whole class, but of course it’s always a scheme, with him. 

He and Nihuang explain to everyone that they were just chatting about how Baili Qi is great and all, but that Mei Changsu could train some small amateur children to beat his bitch ass, given a couple of days to teach them to run in a circle. 

The emperor thinks this is a good plan, and gets right on board with it. 

This is not actually because the emperor is an idiot, however, although Prince Yu clearly thinks so. 

The emperor IS an idiot, but on this occasion I think he has correctly deduced that Mei Changsu has some kind of shady plan in mind, and he is 100% in favor of shady plans, if they work to his benefit. 

Consort Bestie

Jingyan’s mom Consort Jing is hanging out in the palace, and meets up with her girlfriend bestie, Imperial Concubine Hui. Historically, the Emperor’s collection of women was divided into ranks; how many ranks was different for different periods. In NIF, Consort Jing and I.C. Hua belong to the “outer palace” and the Empress and Consort Yue belong to the “inner palace” because they rank higher. The Empress likes to pick on  IC Hua, and has sent her to light a bunch of candles in a haunted palace.

Consort Jing goes with her because they are girlfriends besties, and because she is a consistently nice person who deserves all the good things in the world. Spoiler: Both of these women survive, they stay friends, things work out well for both of them and for their sons. Go ahead and root for them! 

Because the haunted palace belongs to the late Empress, mother of the Emperor and of Grand Princess Liyang, these BFFs are ideally placed to overhear some important scheming, involving some drugged wine that’s been sitting around in this part of the compound for like 30 years. 

They realize that someone is planning to sexually assault a woman by using this drugged wine, and Nihuang is the obvious candidate, since her marriage plans are all anyone’s talking about now. Consort Jing tells Concubine Hua to forget all about this and not get involved in palace drama, but she immediately gets to work intervening in the situation herself. 

Training 

Over at the Xie guesthouse, Mei Changsu is training the kiddies in a special sword formation designed to beat Baili Qi. They sure do have pretty sword forms for a bunch of kids who have never held a sword. Also, someone’s chalk skills are off the chain.

Mei Changsu tells Fe Liu that they have to be faster, so Fe Liu tells them “go faster” and they do, which is apparently the essence of learning martial arts. 

Mu Nihuang shows up and sees right through all of this, making it clear she needs a miracle to get her out of this unwanted marriage. Mei Changsu tells her that he’s got it covered. She says that she believes him, although she’s not sure why. 

Then they stand there gazing heatedly at each other, like you do when you are two random people who have never met until recently, and definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Embroidery Flexing

Meanwhile, Consort Jing sets out to save Nihuang from the wine/marriage plot, through the power of embroidery. 

In order to do this she has to make embroidered scent sachets for the Dowager Empress, the Empress, the Grand Princess, and Consort Yue, which she does before going to bed for the night, apparently. Consort Jing kicks ass. 

She makes sure that the Dowager Empress, who is a sweetheart, will be pleased enough with her sachet that she will invite Consort Jing into the room, which will give her an opportunity to present the actually important sachet to Grand Princess Liyang. 

Communication was complicated, before cell phones. 

Once they’re alone, Consort Jing tells Grand Princess Liyang about the plot to force Nihuang to marry Sima Lei. She tells her in the most round-about, triggery way possible, because she needs Liyang to have a flashback, I guess? Otherwise we wouldn’t get to watch her own Mom drugging her to force her to marry Xie Yu. 

Thanks, Mom, I’d be happy to drink this cup of obvious poison. Mom is terrible but her crown is awesome. 

Anyway, once Liyang knows what’s up, she’s on board with team Save Nihuang From Having To Marry A Creep Like My Own Husband.

Clean-shaven Xie Yu: even creepier than regular Xie Yu and also very shiny. Beautiful costume, though. Why are they dressing the flashback villains so nicely? 

Side note: presumably Liyang and her mom didn’t know she was already pregnant when they brought Xie Yu into the mix? Because if they had known, she would probably have been fine with just, like, consenting to marry someone or other, to keep her reputation intact. Anyway it’s worth noting that this whole situation is about appearances, not about whether anyone is actually a literal virgin. 

The Laughing Prince

Jingyan comes for a visit to see how the training is going, and he and Mei Changsu have a sitdown. Mei Changsu tells him that he’s come to town to make sure that the two main contenders for the throne don’t get it, and that he’s going to work to make Jingyan the next emperor. 

Then they stand there gazing at each other, like strangers who definitely have never gotten each other off even a little bit. 

Then Jingyan laughs at him

Jingyan thinks it’s impossible that he would ever be emperor, but he’s happy to go along with Mei Changsu’s plans if it will keep his jerk brothers from winning. 

Building Team Jingyan

Late at night, Meng Zhi drops by to look at Tingsheng and say that he resembles Prince Qi, which he totally doesn’t, but Chinese dramas really don’t worry about casting people who resemble each other to play twins or whatever, so we can take Meng Zhi’s word for it. 

They talk about the Make-Prince-Jing-The-Emperor plan, with Meng Zhi wanting to help out, and Mei Changsu wanting to make sure that only his own hands get dirty with all the schemey stuff he’s planning. 

Hu Ge is really good at talking directly to the camera without looking into the lens. It’s a good technique for intense moments and because he doesn’t look straight into the lens, it doesn’t break the fourth wall. 

Building Team Nihuang

Liyang has spent the day trying to warn Nihuang about the roofie wine situation, but can’t reach her due to a lack of cell phones and/or embroidery skills. 

So she takes the daring step of going to Mei Changsu’s guest house--on her own dang property--which is such a high risk endeavor she has to wear a fancy cloak and cary a super obvious fancy lantern.  God forbid a woman walk around her own house at night.  Anyway, she’s able to pass the warning to Mei Changsu, and asks him to pass it to Nihuang. 

Of course that’s when her husband comes knocking, presumably looking for some affection--he actually is a nice husband who genuinely loves his wife, within the context of a society in which rape is perfectly fine, anyway. 

Her junior servants are freaked out, because visiting a man, even your own houseguest, alone at night is not perfectly fine, so if he catches her, they’re all dead, basically. But the elder servant tells them to chill and just watch how she handles it. 

She politely tells Xie Yu that his wife was reminded of their first date, and so maybe he should leave her and her feelings and her sharp hairpins and whatnot alone for a while. (I’m inferring the hairpins.) He looks slightly terrified and immediately withdraws.