#standing around and saying a few things
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i miss psychic sam. presumed potential king of hell sam. blood-addict sam. unholy sam. grieving jess, his father, his life sam. born-to-be-a-vessel sam. younger sam. fighting tooth and nail with his father, with hunting, with a life he yells he never wanted. told by everyone he's cursed, he's bad luck. not sure if he is or not. with demon blood in his veins, with azazel haunting him, with lucifer taunting him.
he's still a tragedy after season 5, but he gets used to it. thinks the trials make up for whatever curse he's so sure he carries in his veins. he talks back but he takes the blows without saying anything. he shatters into a million pieces but he keeps it for himself. learns to conceal everything. he flinches. he fights back. he still fades. little by little.
#no actialy i meant i am tired of sam not being centric in the later seasons but i couldnt word it propzrly so have this totally wrong post#i miss him having so many traits being defined by so lany things. reaching end of s11 and his usual sacrifice of self lasts 3secs#NOT MAD bc we dont need another moc season but also... where did his powers go where did his curse go let him do smtg else other than#standing around and saying a few things#and im saying this but s11 is a GOOD season. compared to thr atrocity that was s10. ending in WHAT???????? a circus.....#but nevertheless i miss when lucifer meant smtg. samuel what did they do to you#they robbed you of yoir evil gf... of your powers...#spn#sam winchester#textmistas
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My (very old) loscar brooch (?) that i just now made doodles for
More pictures under cut
#loscar#logan sargeant#ls2#oscar piastri#op81#and now starts the rant#my fave detail is probably tge eye. there few beads like this and they were laying around until my friend said that they look loscar relate#so o started making making whole thing around that bc in my opinion it's genius (also sorry this is gonna have extremely long tags bc i had#run out of them once. maximum is 30 apparently)#I'll go by lains from here so first obviously eagle. i think it's hilarious and what's even funnier is that i bought those charms before#even knowing who Logan was. just for shit and giggles#also to coala i added a bead on top to somewhat match the height#also i love mixing up their colours bc I'm insane about that. how they ideal negatives of eachother and how orange fits logan while blue-os#so i also mixed it up with those animals charms and their attachments here#next stop - oscar lane. there not a lot of black which is bas but at least last heart is actually black. beads above it represents eyes#(you can see with doodles) and next one is for his hair but i couldn't find how to show it#and round see through bead i use for his helmet bc it shines with red yellow and blue#middle part - i talked about the eye but also beads above it. i tried to match tones so they won't clash#then fish and i love that it's in form of heart bc i associate both of them with water so much i needed something here#and bead underneath that is for Logan eyes ofc. for doodles there tried to use brown so oscar would have blond/logan brown but didn't work#AND READ HEART. “-WELL IT'S NOT YELLOW” “PREMA RED THEN?”#as you can see I'm totally normal about their prema times plus i love how it stands out with everything else and can be read as#usual meaning of red hearts. also made out of corals so it fits them too#and last but not least - Logan my beloved#first and foremost STARS#I added as much as humanly possible party bc of American meme party bc i fucking love stars and associate him with them#also added all williams shades of blue and even white so it covers all that#okay no I lied a bit bc i used a button for their dark blue#another thing i would like to mention is metal ring bc it has extremely small hearts on it that you need to look for to notice#I HIT LIMIT FUCK.last thing to say is how I tried to play with circles in middle of every lane. okay goodbye
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juliana_rychlikova: thanksgiving with vampire fam ❤️ (2023)
source: pixielayer and jandythinker (Note: Juliana Rychlikova have her IG account private so i dont know how the fandom got this photo. maybe she privated the account after the fandom found the photos/videos yesterday)
It seems they celebrated Thanksgiving at Jacob’s house in Prague
Photos via Jacob Anderson IG
Screenshots: funtheysaid, lesbratprince and pixielayer
#jam reiderson#jacob anderson#sam reid#delainey hayles#eric bogosian#assad zaman#interview with the vampire#quoting tweets i found#Can’t help but think how much Jam/cast content is just sitting in people’s phones 😵💫#can we count this as a jam selfie?#i think it’s sooo cute that they celebrated at jacob’s house which naturally means sam stayed after everyone else left#ofc it's jacob slicing the food and sam taking the photo😌#jacob properly standing there like he was the only one sam was meant to take a pic of and everyone else just joined in last minute 😭😭👀😌😭😭#Sam cutting Delainey out of the photo so Jacob could appear more. Life imitating art bc that is so Lestat of him#A bunch of Brits and an Australian celebrating thanksgiving 🤣 this was eric idea for sure#my tags#i already had to block people over this on tw bc#i already saw people saying that jacob wife and his kid was in Prague the whole time with him & they are there but hiding from the pict 😤#sure honey 🙄 And that is why he was having dinner with Sam every single night at the same restaurant instead of dinner w/ her#you guys must think she is unemployed or smth 🤦#she probably came once in a while just so that he could see the kid#but i doubt that she was staying there as if she have nothing else to do besides following him around#but then jammers are the delusional ones here#anyway i was really confused why they was celebrating Thanksgiving when that is in October and they started filming on April 3 2023#but then i remembered they was forced to take a break bc of the actors strike in the summer#so the shooting must had gotten dragged on by a few months when they was meant to wrap things up at the end of summer
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name
#bruh lmao#so awkward. say something you dingus lol#ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already#gyatt#spacie spoinks#literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like#heres the thing#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate#im like a vampire like that#and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now#like dude sdkfjshlkdfj#im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic)#am i gonna hafta say something. lol#probably#''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.''#cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭#also like. this person has been staring at me lol#which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful#for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!!#its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks#im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin#i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs#i dont wanna put her on the spot#the only time i see her is when im in class#and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd
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scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god
apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.
i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au
ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks
anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.
Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.
Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.
It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.
It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.
Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.
Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."
It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—
You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.
And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.
Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"
Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—
Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.
Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.
"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.
"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."
"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.
"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."
"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.
"Be gentle, I bruise easily."
"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."
"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.
"Line like fishing?"
"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"
"Yes, yes, that."
Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."
"Doing the thing."
Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.
"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.
And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.
"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.
"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.
"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.
"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.
"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."
Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.
"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."
"Is that bad?"
"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.
So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.
"Oh, hilarious."
"If I was funny I would say jock."
"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."
"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"
"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.
#ask#instead of actually writing the things i wanted to get done i did this instead thanks guys#not to “controversially new hot younger girlfriend” maffhew but im gonna#timeline here doesnt make sense like quote wise so like you know#chat... matthew was not joking when he said well be seeing more of each other#he was fully intending to sit on that knot the first time he saw sasha#sasha is just dumb#god can you just imagine the ways in which maffhew would drive this nice polite alpha absolutely insane#can you imagine the way sasha accidently brushes his hand across the back of his neck because hes trying to wrap an arm around his shoulder#in camaraderie and sasha is so apologetic about it because dynamic classes in finland are intense and hes so remorseful about it#and then in the midst of all that maffhew just turns into this little purr machine and sasha is like oh i think i touched a button i should#not have touched at all oh god oh fuck#and maffhews like mmm? whyd you stop#pan to sasha silently freaking out#not to say sasha doesnt enjoy scruffing his omegas because they love it but he hasnt met one who enjoys it as much as maffhew does#and it kinda fucks him up#also speaking to ekky getting used to maffhews scent like oh boy i can see sooooo many ways that can go down like maffhew is respectful#of ekkys boundaries but also at some point ekky has had enough time to mope and for lack of a better word he does need to grow up#which is why maffhew starts off subtly you know standing on the dman side of the lockers for a few minutes. chatting up the guys over there#before ekky walks in you know leave a ghost of his scent around. its not strong and its not offensive but it certainly is there#eventually he just full on starts chucking his dirty socks at ekky after games#going oops sorry missed the bin didnt mean to snipe you (he absolutely did. he gets extra points if he hits ekkys face!)#sometimes a stray jersey too. if he really wants to make ekky mad he will just slingshot his biohazard-in-training-jock over.#i also think when ekky gets the yips when he starts pacing a little harder than usual when his chuckles turn a little too nervous#maffhew has enough and just like a worried hen of a men just manhandles ekky around in his arms and shoves at him till he puts his nose#in his neck and ekkys arguing the whole time like this isnt necessary im fine-#and matthews like right im sure thats why your teeth are chattering worse than a fucking woodchipper eh?#ekky cant really reply to that and maffhew tells him to just shut up and start sniffing#and it does help and he hates that he admits maffhew was right that he just needed to be clucked over by another omega#opening yapdoras box the lot of you. utterly awful. I HAVE THINGS TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO
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THE BEST OF ATTICAN TRAVERSE: KROGAN TEAM
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Grunt With: Urdnot Wrex, Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus and The Rachni Queen I don't need luck- I have ammo. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#urdnot grunt#urdnot wrex#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i finally finished gif’ing traverse and this set is cursed is all i will say :)#i don’t know why this one was such a pain in the ass but compressing them was a massive chore for some reason#and my dumb ass realized as i was assembling i set the frame hold wrong for like 4 of them so i had to go back and redo a few of them 🙃#the thing that pissed me off most is that there’s usually a nice planet shot with a normandy fly in to make a header from#and traverse just doesn’t fucking get one for some reason?? so ig we get rachni queen header#i’m so sorry but this is like my least favorite mission in the game 😭#like i do like grunt but this mission is just meh on all fronts to me at least#like the decision from ME1 to spare or destroy the rachni queen is so fucking cool?? and it has 0 consequences in ME3 LMAO#not to mention that half of this mission is just standing around with a flame thrower burning down webs lol#the only cool thing i’ll say is i ADORE the Aliens™️/xenomorph vibes that the mission has!! that is so cool the first time around#the cutscenes are alright but there’s really only some towards the front end and the back end? so you miss so much of the middle#which makes it hard to connect what’s going on to make a best of: set lol#grunt has some nice scenes if you have him here and the rachni queen quotes are cool#the enemies are also kind of interesting in concept? i just wish the rachni decision from ME1 had more weight here#james and EDI have a few nice lines towards the front in the shuttle but there’s not a ton of great dialogue like grissom has tbh#idk this mission is just okay to me i guess? like the ardat-yakshi sanctuary with samara is much more interesting to me#i feel like this one needed longer to cook and the rachni deserved more weight in the mission based on your decision in ME1#james and EDI looked cute like always!! and soph ate it up in cleric’s guardian armors for shepard (which continues to be gorgeous ❤️🔥✨)#idk seeing grunt and playing fashion dress up was the best part of this mission besides the wrex cameo at the end lmao
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regarding the previous post i made
#yea the two ppl following me should be aware of who the blue guy is#blue guy names is larry btw#teehee funny hippie man and stotic guy with a cynical view on life#might write about my thoughts on this later#but i wanna say while there might be A Thing going on between these two#they're not exactly romantic#i can see clive trying to maintain a distance between people due his past experiences and the last time he was close to someone it ended#horribly (rags) ((note i see them having a close friendship before fell apart due to her quest to kill god))#larry i imagine when he was alive he had a few casual relationships but never got serious with anyone#so he's not really sure what to do and just behaves like his usual self#but they're fine with not labeling themselves anything#they can just be two people who really like each other and thats fine by them#also if i make stuff about these two just know im not putting it in the tags lol#man this my blog i should write more of my bo ocs#okay one final thing clive isnt all for pda#but you definately notice that he's standing closer to larry than anyone else#and might even put a hand on his shoulder or around his waist if he's feeling bold
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made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it
#personal#like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand#it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character#but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it#you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences#if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such#basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending#locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on#friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like#how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone#it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out#because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want#if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending#but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as#valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that#isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because#valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO#you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience#if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead#you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons#there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like#learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation#sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa#sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule#and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise#being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save#but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on#difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla#and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things
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dutch brings grace along to bronte's ball at the beginning of chapter 4 and arthur is Mad about it
#like he's doing everything he can to keep grace Away from the gang and here dutch is waving her around on his arm like a toy#akfdsfg#she didn't grow up in high society but she's good at playing at it and dutch knows the power of a beautiful woman#hosea too#arthur climbs into the carriage and sees her there in a secondhand ballgown that tilly and mary-beth had to stitch up#and she's clearly also mad about being involved but putting on a brave face like always#and even if arthur is fuming she's also so achingly beautiful and he can't stop himself from staring#a few of the men at the party make passes at her and arthur has to fight himself to not snap at them like an angry dog#arthur leaving her to stand on hosea's arm while he sniffs around inside the mansion is the hardest thing he's ever done adsgfhdf#also when they finally get back to camp and they both have a few champagnes in them the air is charged#grace quietly unbuttons his suit while he just stands there fighting the urge to rip that pretty dress right off her#'im sorry for getting you so involved in this' arthur quietly says as he stops her hands against his chest.#'its a bit late for that don't you think?' she says but there's no heat in it#'lets just ... get some sleep okay? i'm not in the mood for any more posturing or testosterone tonight'#and so arther just smiles softly and mutters a little 'yes maam'#dfafhsdgfjsdaf#grace x arthur#oc tag
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Eunyung and stealing
HJ | Parallels | Details
Eunyung had never stolen anything before the first time he was accused of it, after running away the first time. He didn't steal those headphones, yet still got beaten up for it.
His dad didn't even let him explain himself before starting to hit him. Only afterwards did EY get the chance to say he didn't do it so his dad could hear, who ofc didn't care enough to believe him. Instead of trusting him or at least listening to him, he asked EY to apologize for sth he didn’t do and just get the whole thing over with.
^^ Here, EY was caught off guard by his dad's "gentleness" (<- not hitting him) when he leaned down and whispered to him (hence the small blush above). To me, it seems like he had a sliver of hope that his dad would be nice to him for once. But the gentleness vanished quickly as his dad then proceeded shaming and guilt-tripping him into apologizing (hence the blush below).
That tactic didn't work bc EY knows how unfair the thing he's being asked to do is. He knows he's innocent bc he really didn't steal anything. When he refused and insisted he really didn't do it, his dad pulled the "I'm so disappointed in you. You never change"-card.
Now, that tactic worked. In the end he just gave in and apologized as told in order to avoid more conflict and finally get out of that uncomfortable situation -> Something like resignation
(^^ This also ties into why EY was so upset with HJ's words during Thanksgiving's arc -> he hates the idea that he can't change and will stay like this forever. That's also a reason why he apologized despite being innocent -> EY wanted to prove his dad wrong: He can change. He can be something other than a disappointment not worth anyone's time.)
The guy who actually did it got away with it and EY got made fun of for being stupid enough to take the blame. He sought out the guy to take revenge bc he knew there'd be no other type of justice for someone like him.
His dad’s actions that day (wrongly accusing and forcing EY to take the blame) is what pushed him to try stealing -> If he was going to suffer the consequences anyway, he should at least benefit from it somehow by actually stealing sth and profit from whatever he stole. That way the accusation would at least be valid.
That day, EY learned to seek justice by himself because no one else would; and he learned to steal. He started stealing in his first year of middle school, one month after running away from home for the first time. All because of his dad. EY never had a father, he had the opposite of a role model -> he knew what he did not want to be.
#<EY's dad taught him to steal. EY never had anyone in his corner standing up for him. Ey did NOT want to be like his dad.>#this is again the 'growing into the role everyone around you gives you'#if you run away and are homeless people will expect you to engage in criminal behavior and steal things you need#<- you've already been assigned that role/label.#if people will assume and treat you like you're a criminal no matter what you do (and therefore suffer the consequences of said assumption)#you have nothing to lose. if you actually start stealing. nothing will change and no one would be surprised#your reputation will stay the same. however. this time you'll at least have the headphones you took when no one was looking to enjoy.#'everyone already thinks i'm a delinquent. might as well. why not? especially if i'm going to get sth out of it'#<- i'm trying to explain his thought process i hope it makes some sense#(guess what my major and minor are. i bet u won't get it right)#also if you look at how ey's dad treats and talks to him. you can see exactly where his issues with some of hj's words stem from:#'don't say i can't change. don't look at me like i'm trash or not worth your time.'#'don't dismiss what i'm saying/doing. stop flaunting your strength at me/hurting me for no reason.'#<- to name a few#no home#no home manhwa#meta#stealing arc#multipart#집이 없어#webtoon#eunyung baek#ey hj parallels
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!
#fred says a thing#personal#i havent slept (its 8am) but not for sad reasons! i was reading a good book and then i just had a lot of thoughts!#invariably i will be sad again - probably soon! i will definitely see stuff on my trip that i will want to show my parents and have to#experience the strange nature of grief-for-what-never-was several times over during otherwise great moments#- but i will also be happy in the future too!#my therapist says i definitely have ptsd! im learning more about emotional flashbacks and how to manage them!#im a human being and i will continue to be one for the rest of my life!#i hope thats a long time!#but even if that isnt something my genetics allows i was happy now! and people were happy to have me in the world!#im realising that sounds rather alarming but i just have a lot of fears about my genetics considering. you know. the cancer orphaning.#im trying to manage both my health fears and my health itself in a reasonable way! i made a chicken tomato pasta sauce last night#just from ingredients i had lying around and it was pretty good!#i have a ripe tomato i picked from the garden yesterday that today i will fry up with bacon and put on some toast i think#there are so many books i want to read#there are so many books i want to write#in a few days i will be experiencing snow (a rarity for me) and i will probably be handling the cold very poorly and i will feel excited#and uncomfortable at the same time#and for much of my life i will experience a lot of contradictory things at the same tiem#and i will experience times of great boredom and inaction! we all have to stand in queues and wait for buses and go to the dentist#and wonder what might have been#but i will experience them. i will.
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Thinking of the way other kids treated me when I was in school makes me crazy like why'd they do all that 😭
& it wasn't even that bad I have always just been really really sensitive. SAD.
It only got physical a few times too like how long has it been, 6? 7 years? And I'm still hung up on it somehow
It's actually so fucked up how whatever you go through as a child will Literally change you forever, can't I like... scrape those parts off.... and be a normal fucking person for once 😭
#I can remember like. being kicked around a few times or having trash thrown at me#or one time that I remember SO CLEARLY is waiting for the school bus inside (it works dif here)#and some kids knocking a bible stand over so it hit my feet like those things were HEAVY and made of like. metal or smth IDK#and I had to bear it until I got home and then I could barely walk around cause it was THROBBING so I just did my chores and went to bed#and another time not necessarily being hit or anything#but boys would take their socks off after PE and throw them at me and laugh#I think they did all that cause I was literally just. stoic. I never reacted even when I wanted to scream#I thought that if I didn't react they'd all get bored and stop#it only stopped around 7th grade when they stopped considering it fun I guess#and then they started being nice to me like WHAT.#I never called anyone out. I just didn't wanna deal with the shame yk#these tags are so FUCKING long. why'd I say all that.#whatever. MY diary ‼️#diary
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day 2 of what i call the redneck convention aka a family function
#it just so happens there's two events that call for a cookout--we never hang out two days in a row--usually i get a break of a few months--#so idk if i can handle it#not to mention my sister has work & my fave cousin brings her bf all the time & is busy talking with him#so it's just gonna be me & all these other family members i don't like ://#& okay let me say a thing#yesterday i was having a conversation with my sister--clearly a private conversation#& my weird aunt just literally barged in between us like 'what what are you guys up to huh what what'#& i just like nervously laughed & was like 'yeah we're just talking'#& then she just starts standing right next to me--like glued at the hip and literally says 'what if i just wanna stand right here--#next to you and just follow you around?'#& i just kinda nervously laughed & tried to shuffle away but she literally started following me around like that#& i know it's ridiculous but i could feel my fight or flight kick in because she was in my personal space & not listening to me#but all i did was kinda laugh again & say 'no thanks i gotta go wash my hands so i can eat--the food's almost ready'#& i had to say that like twice & then she actually got pissed & huffed before storming off#& then later in front of everyone she told my mom something like 'you need to correct your daughter's behavior she's very rude'#as if my mom could do anything#(like don't get me wrong my mom could say 'behave a certain way or we'll kick you out because you're an adult' but she's not gonna do that)#& my mom & dad were both just like '???' when i explained it because i didn't do anything rude--#like genuinely how The Fuck am i supposed to respond with some aunt getting into my space & refusing to leave even when i'm uncomfortable#my parents told me not to worry about it because she's just weird all the time (which i know) but because she's got nothing else going on--#in her life she'll probably still try to make drama out of that little interaction today#idk i might just gaslight her by pretending i don't remember what happened. gatekeep girlboss etc#& don't get me wrong i have complete sympathy for people who aren't good with social cues--i'm one of the most awkward people at these--#functions. but personal space is where i draw the line because you can't just get into someone's space & insist on being there even when--#they're clearly uncomfortable#sigh anyways these tags are so long. wish me luck ://#rose.txt
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