#stan: finally some good fuckin food

[violeteyedkiller]

"It's been a while since I've properly messed around with a stranger~" Stan rumbles, seeming to be in a good mood.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

So I just dropped the OJV Stan Angst, and uhhhh now it’s Kyle’s turn bc I’m thinking about it.

Sorry Kyle (below the cut in case of ed triggers)

So I started the OrangeJuiceVerse timeline at sophomore year of high school bc as I’ve said, ojverse hinges on healing, and freshman year may have been when Stan and Kyle got together, but that was a veeerrrryyy rough year for him. I vague about his eating disorder in some of the fics, but I’ll never go into detail, however, right now, I wanna talk about the moment mentioned here, when Stan references Ky admitting his issues with control manifesting in the form of eating problems.

So during the summer before the boys start hs, Kyle’s super fuckin stressed. Like his dad made one casual stupid comment about how “high school sets the tone for the rest of your life” and Kyle, who definitely reads way too far into the things people say, ran with that. He never wants to fail, at anything, ever. He put soooo much pressure on himself to succeed. Like they aren’t even in 9th grade yet and he’s spending his summer trying to get ahead and the guys are trying to get him to come hang out but Kyle’s so insistent that he needs to be in all the AP classes and already know everything, and he struggles with science but at this point he wants to be a doctor so that’s another stressor, and he feels like he’s running out of time when he isn’t. And he can’t control the feeling of panic, or (this is in his head btw his parents aren’t totally on his ass abt it) the pressure he feels. He’s so scared of disappointing them and not being their Perfect son, and it’s so irrational bc Sheila and Gerald really aren’t trying to control his life, but Kyle feels out of control. So he turns to the only thing he thinks he has control over.

Eating.

And ojv Kyle is diabetic. He absolutely should NOT be restricting his intake or ignoring what his body needs. Plus, he’s an actively growing teenage boy. But he wants to control something. And Kyle is competitive as fuck. He starts competing with himself to see how little he can eat without anyone noticing. He’s so incredibly smart and absolutely knows what he’s doing is wrong, and the rest of the main 5 know somethings up, because Kyle would usually never hesitate to go join them to throw rocks at boats in the quarry, but he never wants to anymore. He skips Randy’s 4th of July bbq that year not only bc he hates Randy, but because all the food there scares the fuck out of him. Stan may not be the most observant person, but he fucking KNOWS his super best friend. Somethings going on, but Kyle waves him off when he asks.

High school starts. Kyle spends lunch period in the computer lab. Then, a few months later around September or October, after school at off season basketball practice, he is feeling really awful, stumbling over to the bench, but doesn’t make it. He passes the fuck out. Do his teammates call 911? Do they call his mom? No. They call Stan. Stan knows Kyle better than anyone ever could.

Like Stan’s just on the other side of the school with his own extracurricular (recycling club) and he picks up the phone like “hey Tolkien what’s up” “it’s Kyle” and he fucking BOLTS and finds his favorite person being held up by half the basketball team while he blinks at them all barely conscious. That’s when they find out he’s diabetic, and they think it’s just that.

Stan absolutely freaks (but in true Stan Fashion, his mantra is “Kyle first panic later”) and takes him over to the locker room, he still thinks this is a normal low, but he senses it’s more than that. So he swings his backpack to the front to grab the juice he keeps just in case and he’s like “dude you’re always really good about keeping an eye on your levels what’s going on?” And Kyle stares at him for a second, and like everyone’s noticed his clothes getting baggy on him, everyone has seen that he doesn’t eat when the guys order pizza while they’re hanging out. But Stan connects the dots finally. “Oh,dude.”

And Kyle, who is the LAST of the 5 to break down into tears, is crying, and he tells Stan that he’s fucking scared, he didn’t mean for it to get so bad, and he’s ranting about how none of his clothes fit him anymore, he’s begging Stan not to tell Sheila, saying that he doesn’t know how to stop, and Stan is so upset because yeah he knew Ky was stressing himself out but not to THIS point. They leave their after school clubs early with Stan making Kyle promise to eat at dinner and not make an excuse to take a few bites and go work on something, and Stan goes home and Sharon is right there when Stan starts crying as he walks through the door. And he tells his mom everything.

A few days later, Kyle’s knocking at Stan’s door. And he throws his arms around him and just whispers “thank you.” Because turns out Sharon told Sheila and the Broflovskis looked into what their son was dealing with and found him an outpatient program, they took him to the doctor and were horrified that he’s so physically unwell, and he’s gonna be out of in person school for nearly a month, but Kyle DOES want to get better. He’s kicking ass in online classes and the zoom calls with his therapist every day are really helpful to break down the motivation behind the ed, and Stan, because he can’t go a single day without seeing Kyle and not having him in the desk beside him his excruciating, brings him flowers from Sharon’s garden every goddamn day.

One afternoon, Stan goes over and they’re in Kyle’s bed, Kyle is a lot better mentally and physically but Stan’s still hesitant bc he’s still a little fragile, but this is Kyle, the strongest person he knows. And that’s when his simp ass is like “dude, I’m so sorry if this is weird, but I’m fucking in love with you.”

And Kyle’s so shocked, bc these two are both oblivious losers and he didn’t know either, but he’s loved Stan right back, forever. “Holy shit you asshole. It took you this long to say something?” “Wait, you too?” and Kyle pulls him close. “Yeah, me too”

Shdgskaljk they’re just holding each other like that until Sheila comes in bc Kyle has a drs appointment (this is when he gets his dexcom) and she isn’t even phased by those two cuddling smh they’ve done that forever she’s just like “oh stanley you’re still here, anyway. Kyle it’s time to go bubbeh” lmfao and afterwards Kyle’s texting Stan from the doctors office like “dude are you my boyfriend now” and Stan’s giggling kicking his feet smiling texting back like “can I be? Really?” “Yes, dumbass”

I love them so bad

[calpalirwin]

Numbers

Summary: Sebastian doesn’t want to be another number to you, but little does he know he’s the only one.

A/N: Everyone say thank you to @jessalyn-jpeg​ for always being willing to cry over this man with me. 

Important distinction: Italics represent his thoughts, while bold italics represent hers

Word Count: 3.2k

And away, and away we go!

__

The sun was high and warm, and the sounds of wood cracking against leather grew louder as Y/N walked towards the baseball fields. “Yo, Number 1, lookin’ good!” she whistled, her fingers wrapping themselves in the chain link fence surrounding the field.

There was a loud laugh from the man playing shortstop, and he turned to either flip her off or stick out his tongue, but a baseball came flying in his direction, high and powerful. But not high enough. Almost lazily, Sebastian lifted his heels off the dirt, raising his left hand in the air, the ball coming to a stop in his glove.

“Right field, get ready!” Anthony, the pitcher shouted. “Stan’s lucky charm showed up!”

“I don’t need luck, Mackie,” Sebastian taunted, pulling at the sleeves of his jersey. “I’m Number 1 for a reason. Best shortstop in the state, right here, baby!”

“Mackie! Stan!” the coach barked in warning.

“Sorry!” both men laughed. And with his brief pause, Sebastian took off his hat, waving it at Y/N in greeting as she took a seat in the stands, before putting it back over his sweaty locks of brown hair.

As the practice continued, more girls made their way out to watch the team, and Y/N couldn’t blame them. Something about a guy’s ass in baseball pants, especially when that ass belonged to Sebastian Stan. And the college baseball team didn’t have any complaints about the attention they gathered, plays becoming more dramatic than they needed to be as a chance to show off, until the coaches finally called it quits.

“So,” Anthony asked Sebastian as they headed for the dugout. “Is today the day you ask out Y/N finally? Or should I try to shoot my shot? Like what's going on here, man? Cuz whatever it is between you, it’s gone on way too long, and I only got so much patience.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure how his face could grow warmer after being in the sun practicing for two hours, but it did. “I- We’re friends, ya know? And it’s not that I don’t wanna ask her out. It’s that I don’t know how. Or how she’ll react. It’s… a whole thing, ya get me?”

“Dude…” Anthony shook his head. “I say this because I care. But if you’re gonna make a move, make it fast. No one wants to be the one to cross you when we all know you got a thing for her. But if you’re not gonna shoot your shot…”

“Thanks…” Sebastian said, not sure if he appreciated the obvious advice or not. He knew he needed to ask Y/N sooner rather than later. But the idea that his teammates were lying in wait for him to either make a move, or step aside stirred up feelings of jealousy. But the only way of making sure they didn’t date her… He slung his bag over his shoulder, before squaring them and strutting out of the dugout, headed straight for Y/N. “Now or never, Stan,” he whispered to himself.

“Seb!” a girl called out and he turned to the sound, putting a smile on his face.

“Hey.” He offered a small wave, his eyes spotting Y/N, and kept walking, but then more girls were calling his name, batting their eyelashes, and touching his arm as they asked questions, and somehow Y/N got lost in the shuffle.

Y/N watched from her spot, the smile on her face dropping as she watched Sebastian get swarmed by girls who only wanted his attention so they could later brag to their friends that they’d gotten to talk to the star of the baseball team. And Sebastian wasn’t the type to be rude, even when he should.

Sighing, she shouldered her bag, heading down the bleachers, figuring she’d she go rescue him from his oh-so terrible prison of adoring girls.

“Hey, Y/N,” a shy voice called out as her feet hit concrete.

She lifted her gaze to find one of the newer players smiling at her. “Oh, hey, Tom,” she smiled back at him. “Good practice out there.”

“Heh, thanks,” he mumbled, his cleat digging into the ground. “So… you waiting for Seb?”

“I was yeah,” she admitted, looking over at Sebastian who was still under siege. And then a swell of anger bubbled inside her. If he couldn’t be bothered to pull himself away from them for her, then she didn’t have to wait for him. “But I’ll just catch him later. So, what’s up?”

Tom blinked in surprise. “Uh… I… Not much really. Was gonna head back to my dorm. Ya know, normal stuff I guess.”

“Well c’mon, I’m headed that way myself, I’ll walk with ya.”

Tom brightened as someone whistled from behind. “Damn! Kid’s got moves!” Anthony’s voice called out loudly. He jogged a few steps to join the couple, “Yo, Y/N, what about Seb?”

Y/N looked over her shoulder at Sebastian who still wasn’t even looking her way. “What about him?”

~~~

She mumbled airplane sounds under her breath, twisting her wrist to make the paper airplane fly around, before she really sent it flying across the living room. She watched as it glided through the air before nose-diving into the carpet as the front door opened.

“Apology food?” Sebastian asked with a hopeful smile, holding up a bag of takeout as he kicked the door shut.

“And what’s the apology for?” she asked, rising to her feet and crossing her arms.

“For being a dick after practice.”

“Chinese?”

“Your favorite,” he said, handing her the bag.

“Fine. Your transgressions against the crown are forgiven. This time.”

He tilted his head back as he laughed. “Thank you, your Highness. Although a little birdie told me that you ended up alright. Holland, huh?”

“Mackie is worse than girls with gossip, I swear…” Y/N said with an eye roll. “But yeah, Holland and I talked.”

“You know he’s a freshman, right?”

“Aw, is somebody jealous?” She flashed him a sardonic smile as they both plopped down on the couch and dug into the food.

Sebastian let out a scoff. “Me? Jealous of Holland? Pfft, yeah right.” Yes, insanely jealous, actually.

“Oh, so if I said he walked me all the way to the apartment, that wouldn’t make you mad?”

“You’re not my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said around a swallow of food. Despite how much I wish you were.  “If you wanna make baby Holland feel like a man for escorting you home, I really don’t give a shit. But you can do better than a freshman.” Like me.

Like you? “And you’d smell better with a shower,” was her retort as she knocked her shoulder into his.

“Mmm, you gonna join me?”

“Pfft! In your dreams, maybe.” And in mine.

Only in my dreams cuz once again, I fucked up.

~~~

Y/N figured one date would be enough to stir Sebastian into action. But one, the man had already made himself scarce by the time she left for her date. And two, the date sucked.

You’re not Sebastian was all she could think about throughout the dinner of cheesy one-liners, and bad jokes that bordered on offensive.

“So…” he asked suggestively as they walked out. “Wanna head back to my place?”

“No, I’m kinda tired,” she declined politely.

“Oh… well then I’ll call you sometime and we can do this again, maybe?”

“Yeah… no,” she said, shaking her head. “This was… nice. But no. You and I? Not gonna happen.”

“Right… I forgot you’re friends with Stan.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh, c’mon. Dude obviously likes you. And he’s not the one anyone wants to have on their bad side.”

“Then why did you ask me out? If all of you are so scared of Seb?”

“Cuz you’re hot, and I’m not on the baseball team,” he shrugged.

“Yeah… I’m gonna go home now. And you… ugh… yeah, no. Not gonna happen.”

~~~

Sebastian turned his head as the door opened. “Back before curfew, huh? Whatta gentleman.”

“Fuck you,” she told him with a roll of her eyes before stalking off towards her bedroom.

“Whoa, whoa, wait,” he said, bolting up off the couch. “C’mon, what happened?”

He wasn’t you. “He’s a pig. Said all the wrong things.”

“That sucks. But hey, can’t all be winners, right?”

“I guess… Although he did say one thing that was somewhat interesting.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Apparently you scare people off from asking me out.”

He snorted. “That’s fuckin’ stupid. Will I be pissed if some jackoff makes you feel like shit? Yeah, and I’ll probably say something. But shit… I’m not your boyfriend, or your dad, or some shit. Sounds like a lame cop-out because they just don’t wanna admit they’re pussies.”

And what’s your lame cop-out? “Ugh… I need a drink.”

“Grab me one, yeah?” he asked, sinking back down into the couch as she changed directions to head into the kitchen instead.

“So, how was your night?” she asked, grabbing two beers from the fridge.

“Uneventful,” he shrugged. “There was a girl I was hoping to go out with, but it didn’t work.”

“Aw damn. That sucks,” she said, as she joined him on the couch and handed him one of the beers. 

“Eh, it was my fault for not asking sooner,” he shrugged again, clinking his beer against hers. “To shitty nights.”

“Here, here,” Y/N cheered half-heartedly as they both took a long drink. “Fuck it. Paper airplane contest?”

He snorted into his beer. “We’re not seven anymore.”

“Aw, afraid you’ll lose?”

He sat up straighter. “Loser buys next case of beer?”

“You better get your wallet out, now.”

~~~

Sebastian knew he should have taken his chance after that first date gone bad. And Y/N knew she should have pushed him harder in her confrontation. But for whatever reason, the friends stayed at their stubborn stalemate.

Without Sebastian willing to make a move, Y/N began to wonder if maybe everyone had it all wrong. Maybe Sebastian was simply protective of her without having an ulterior motive behind it. So, she continued to go on dates with other guys on campus to ease the ache, until she couldn’t pretend they weren’t Sebastian anymore.

For his part, Sebastian not only took careful notes of the reasons Y/N gave for each of her short-lived romances, he also stupidly pointed her in the direction of new interests. And then he tried not to drown in his jealousy, before learning to grow doubtful of wanting a romantic relationship with her at all. Why would he want to sacrifice a lifelong friendship just to become another nameless guy she tossed to the side once she had her fun with him?

~~~

“Sebastian!” she gasped at him when he came home one night as she nursed away the end of yet another short-lived romance that wasn’t him.

“You’re drunk,” was the observation as he dropped his duffle bag to the floor.

“Ooooohhhh yeah,” she giggled at him with a wide grin, eyes hazy. “You gonna join me?”

“So we can both be sick? Yeah… Not a chance.”

“Boo…” she pouted. “You never wanna do anything with me.”

“One night. One night I don’t wanna drink with you, and that equates to me not wanting to do anything with you ever? Make it make sense, Y/N.”

“Well, you don’t wanna date me, that’s for sure,” was the drunk scoff.

He balked. “When did I ever say that?”

“Well it’s true, isn’t it? Everyone keeps saying that you like me, but you don’t do anything about it. Are they all lying? Or are you?”

He shook his head. “I’m not doing this. I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Why not?!”

“Because you’re drunk off your ass!”

“Just answer the question!”

“I don’t know!”

“What type of bullshit answer is that?! How do you not know if you wanna date someone?!”

“It’s the answer you give when you used to think you wanted to, but now you’re not sure anymore! Now… I gave you my answer. And I already told you once I’m not having this conversation. Not when you’re drunk. I’m going to bed. G’night Y/N.”

“COWARD!” she hurled the insult at his retreating back.

In his room, Sebastian didn’t sleep. He lay in bed watching his ceiling fan spin in slow hypnotic circles, cursing himself for letting it get this bad. If he had just asked her out after that one practice… If he could just rewind the clock…

In the living room, Y/N sobbed into her hands. The distractions never worked, even the promising ones. And Sebastian… If it turned out he didn’t want her…

Thoughts spiraled and time ticked by, Y/N growing more sober, and Sebastian more angry with himself.

“Seb?” she asked in a small whisper, knocking lightly on his door as she pushed it open, finding him still awake in bed, the little lamp on his nightstand illuminating the room.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he asked, more harshly than he meant to, as he pushed himself to sit up against his headboard.

“I- Nevermind… It’s stupid…”

“No, wait,” he called out to her as she turned to leave. “I didn’t mean it like that. I- What’s up? What did you wanna ask?”

She took a slow breath to steady herself as she turned back around to face him. “Do you like me? God, that sounds so juvenile…”

“Of course I like you, Y/N. You’re my best friend.”

“But you don’t like me enough to date me. Just enough to be protective about me dating anyone else.”

He sighed. Now, or never. “It’s not that I don’t wanna date you, Y/N. It’s that I’m scared to.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“To you, maybe. But to me, it’s perfectly valid.”

“How? How is that a valid reason? Sebastian Stan, scared of dating a girl? A girl who he’s known his whole life? Make it make sense.”

“You think I wanna be one of the guys you date? Maybe if you actually dated people, I wouldn’t have ever thought twice about dating you myself. But you don’t date, Y/N. You… God, I dunno what it is you do, but it’s not dating.”

“Fuck you,” she spat, feeling tears well up. “Fuck you! You don’t get to slut-shame me!”

“Slut-shame you?! How is it slut-shaming that I don’t wanna be another number to you?! That I don’t wanna be another source of entertainment for you until you get bored of me?!”

“Because you’re not a number, Sebastian!”

“Bullshit I’m not! You literally call me Number 1! You don’t love Y/N! You… you entertain yourself until someone better comes along!”

“That’s not true…” she whispered, heartbroken that he thought it was.

“It was for all the other guys! I don’t wanna be like them, Y/N! I don’t wanna be some random number to you! I wanna be the one! I don’t know how much clearer I can make that.”

“You know I only dated them to make you jealous, right?”

“Well congrats… you win. I’m insanely jealous of every guy that you parade through that goddamn door.” His mouth twisted and his vision started to swim.

“I didn’t wanna win, Seb. I wanted you.”

He hissed through his teeth. “Past tense… that, uh… Yeah, that hurts. Thanks for that… For this…” he twirled his finger about the room. “Awesome conversation. Glad we could have this talk.”

“You wanna know why it never worked with those guys?!” she yelled at him, her hands flying up in the air. “They weren’t you! God, I tried so hard to make it work with those guys! Any of them! But none of them made me feel the way you do. None of them get me the way you do. And… God! I wish they did! I wish at least one of them did, because then I could finally stop wasting my time on you when it’s obvious you don’t feel the same way about me!”

“I don’t feel the same?!” He grabbed a small notebook, hurling it at her. “If I never felt the same, explain that!” He pulled down the collar of his shirt, pointing at a small tattoo of a paper airplane on his chest “If I never felt the same, explain this!”

“Y-you got a tattoo? When?”

The sudden drop of her voice level took him a moment to realize what she’d asked. “When you started dating the guy with tattoos…” he told her.

“And this?” she asked, bending down to pick up the small notebook he’d thrown at her, thumbing through it. “Blue eyes, tattoos. Text back on time. Don’t say stupid shit,” she read aloud. “A-are these notes on how to date me?”

He shrugged. “I like to think they’re observations.”

“W-why would you need notes on how to date me?”

“To make sure you don’t get bored of me. To make sure you don’t forget me.”

“Seb-”

He shook his head fiercely, feeling his throat close up. “Don’t. Just don’t, okay? I know this is all my fault. I know if I had just stopped being a little bitch, and said something sooner like I wanted to, none of this would be happening right now. But I- Fuck… It’s always been me and you, and I dunno what I’d do if that stopped happening. You’re my best friend. And I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. And… I can’t risk losing you. I won’t lose you. Even if that means spending the rest of my life jealous of the guys you date.”

“And you never bothered to think that I had the same fears? That I’m just as in love with your stupid ass?”

“Why would you be? I’m just the idiot best friend.”

“Haven’t you been listening? I- God, did you really get a tattoo?” she asked. “What even is it?”

“It’s a paper airplane,” he mumbled, face turning red.

“Can I see it again?” she asked somewhat shyly.

He shrugged, taking off his shirt and tossing it to the side. “Happy now?”

“Oh, Seb,” she giggled, crossing the room to him. “You didn’t have to take your shirt off. You could have just tugged down your collar again.”

“Are you complaining?” he teased lightly, pulling her into his lap.

“God, no,” she said with another giggle. “Oh, Seb,” she sighed, her fingers tracing the ink on his skin. “God, we’re so fuckin’ stupid, aren’t we?”

“Oh, I’m definitely stupid,” he admitted. “Said and done so much stupid shit I shouldn’t have said or done.” His nose nudged against hers, his lips brushing against her cheek when he said, “God, I’m so sorry. I shoulda manned up sooner. And I shouldn’t have said those things about the guys you dated. I just- I fucked up. I let my insecurities get in the way, and I fucked up.”

“I fucked up too, Seb,” she whispered, carding her hands through his hair. “I was trying to fill a you-sized hole when I had you in front of me the whole time.”

“So you still want me? Even after I was the idiot coward that kept fucking up?” The blue eyes were big and watery with small traces of fear as they held her gaze steady, foreheads knocked together.

“Of course I still want you. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Seb.”

__

Tag List

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[shurisneakers]

shut in [8]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, implied abuse, death, implied ptsd, injuries, guns, anxiety

Word count: 4.2k

A/N: oh my god oh my god sam stans how are we feeling djkghdfjkhgdf. no thoughts only sam wilson in ep1 of tfatws <333

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“Hey, I’m just going to step out for today.” You looked up from the doodle you were making on the corner of the paper. “Catch you later? Just find me if you need anything.”

“You okay?” You automatically sat up straighter, blanket creasing under you. Something was amiss in his body language.

“Yeah, just-” He seemed like he was struggling for words. “-Brooklyn.”

You didn’t get what he was making a reference to until it suddenly dawned on you.

It was the codeword he had suggested right at the beginning of your time in the house. If he was in danger you were sure he’d tell you, at least an inkling of information.

But no, this was for some time alone, further confirmed by the distant look in his eyes.

“Oh.” You blinked. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here if you need.”

He gave you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, turning around and leaving the room.

You were left staring after him, the drawing you were making of the house layout discarded on the bed. You were working on strategies, vantage points- anything that could help in case something went wrong.

Was it because of the dumb ‘moment’ you had shared two days ago? It didn’t seem like it because he hadn’t brought it up at all and God knows you would never. Was it something else that had happened, something you did?

Stop overthinking. He probably just needs a day to himself.

You had spent almost a month in each other’s company and he had never once complained. He had a tendency to be petty about minor inconveniences, like you trying to watch a movie when his favourite segment on the local news channel was going on. He liked the cooking show they hosted.

He had never made it a point to specifically tell you that he needed some time to himself, much less use the word.  

“Get yourself together,” you whispered to yourself, shaking off the nagging feeling you had.

If he had an issue, he would have voiced it. He never shied away from doing that before and you knew he wouldn’t start now.

You forced yourself to think about something else, grabbing the copy of American Gods you had already gone over once before but were subjecting to a reread. Opening the page you had last left it at, you were determined to distract yourself.

Nearly twenty minutes later and exactly zero pages since you had started, you realised that no matter how much you forced yourself to get into it, you went over the same line over and over again, not a single word registering in your head.

“Motherfucker,” you groaned, letting the book fall on your face. You took a long look outside the window, mind drifting.

It was a nice day out. Maybe some sun would help.

You lifted your legs off the bed, taking your book with you to the kitchen. You could get a nice sandwich-- the same as the last three fuckin’ weeks but you digressed-- a glass of water, and you could sit outside for a while. A mini picnic.

You opened a new packet of sliced bread, taking two out before stopping. You pondered over whether you should make him a sandwich for when he returned, knowing that he didn’t eat lunch before he left.

You thought about it for a good minute before rolling your eyes, pulling out two additional slices to make him one as well. It was just a sandwich. It wasn’t a big deal.

Tucking your book under your arm, you carried your lunch and a glass of water to the patio around the back.

The wind rustled the leaves and the sun wasn’t harsh. The low buzz of insects was the only sound that kept you company.

The air was crisp and you instantly felt better than you had all day in the room.

Setting your stuff down on the bench, you sat down, inhaling deeply.

The book suddenly didn’t seem so impossible to complete as you tried once more, slipping into the pages easily. Even after you finished your food, you continued to lounge about there, too engrossed and content to move.

You didn’t notice the afternoon go by, evening coming and going just as swiftly. You swatted at the occasional fly but nothing else bothered you.

It felt like summer break. At least what you thought it would feel like. You never had one, being homeschooled about things from various people in the organization. There wasn’t a singular, long break. You were just forced to adapt.

You didn't know how to deal with the suffocating realisation of knowing there were so many things you missed out on. It grew the longer you spent time away. You just shoved it away, forcing yourself to deal with it another day.

He comes back when the sky is slipping into shades of orange, a backpack on his shoulder. There was a patch of sweat around his neck and his head was hung low as he walked.

“Hey,” you hoped it didn't look like you were waiting for him. It could easily be taken as you camping out there, waiting for your husband to return from a hard day in the fields.

Sam looked up at your greeting. You noted that the bruise on his nose was starting to change colour but the swelling had reduced from how bad it used to be.

“Left you a sandwich on the counter if you’re hungry,” you added. He nodded in acknowledgement, making his way up the stairs and into the house without another word.

You let out an exhale, feeling a little better knowing that he was at least back in one piece. No reason to believe otherwise other than the anxiety you had developed over imagining the worst case scenarios.

You picked up your book again, intending to finish off the last bit before you went back inside for the day.

About half an hour later Sam re-emerged from the house, your attention snapping to him as the door opened and shut. He had changed into a new pair of clothes, looking a little cleaner like he was fresh outta the shower. He had a sandwich in his hand that he had already taken a few bites out of. You wondered if it was the one you left for him.

You didn’t expect him to take a seat next to you on the bench. He didn’t look at you or open his mouth to talk so you followed suit. You continued reading, or at least tried to, as he just sat there, finishing his sandwich without any kind of other interaction.

There was a strange tension he wasn’t addressing. He instead leaned back, arms crossed behind his neck to support his neck and closed his eyes. His foot tapped against the wooden floor and rather than getting annoyed, you found solace in the repetition.

“They recruited me on this day,” Sam said to no one in particular. His eyes were still closed and his feet still tapped against the ground. “Parents died when I was a kid, I got shifted around orphanages and homes a lot. Finally Ransone had someone pick me up.”

You closed your book softly, setting it down beside you. That’s what was bothering him.

Secret adoption is what they called it officially in the business, but around the organization it was just known as the recruitment process. Every record of Sam being alive would have been destroyed to maintain anonymity.

To the world he just… disappeared.

It was a day that clearly brought with it so much pain. You were too young to remember when you joined, and no one had kept track either. You supposed it was for the good.

It was supposed to be a happy day, one filled with new beginnings. Maybe that’s what he would have thought when he got picked. It’s what you did.

“I’m sorry,” you said, not having anything else to offer. You relieved your memories everyday in your head. Having a morbid anniversary of sorts would no doubt drain the life out of you; remembering one singular day that would trigger the rest of the decisions you made in your life.

He didn’t say anything in return. You turned your attention to the sky, finding it easier to look at that than the disturbed look on his face.

“Do you regret this?” he asked out of the blue.

“All of it,” you replied, without skipping a beat.

“Every single one, huh?” Sam’s one eye opened to peer at you.

“It wasn’t up to me to take someone’s life away.” You were just a child. You knew nothing other than what you were taught; so then why was it so fucking hard to forgive your past self for straying into this. “Even once I realised that I couldn’t leave.”

You didn’t form any relationships while you worked with Ransone. Whoever you did allow yourself to care for ended up dead or worse, sometimes as a cruel lesson to not make friends in the organization you worked in because all they served as were distractions and liabilities. Others were plain scum; people who you knew were using you but you didn’t care. The loneliness hurt worse.

“What about you?”

“I’d give anything to go back and change things,” he admitted. He didn’t have a say either. It didn’t make things easier.

“You regret all of ‘em too?”

“Mostly,” he said. “One of them I don’t.”

“That one must have deserved it then,” you deduced. It was the only logical explanation you could think of; the worst of the worst.

“Nah. I let him go.”

It took a while to register what he said.

“What?” You twisted your body to look at him.

“First mission I ever did.”

His hands were shaking lightly, barely holding on to the gun. This wasn’t what he was taught. Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm.

He had already managed to get his way into the house through the back. His partner had taken care of most of it and Sam only had to knock people out. He hadn’t had to kill anyone yet.

But now his partner was injured outside the door. Quick shot to the leg, a punch in the face and he was out cold. Sam was already in the master bedroom by the time it happened. He had no idea about where his partner was, only the crippling fear of being left alone and the nerves from the threat posed to him if this didn’t go right.

He knew he didn’t have enough time. He had only a few minutes to kill him and get out of there before his family returned.

The man itself was sitting at the study table, his back towards Sam. Just pull the trigger and get out of here. It was deadly silent.

“I know you’re here to kill me,” the man said suddenly. Sam nearly jumped but instead tightened the grip on the gun.

“Stay where you are.” He sounded confident.

“I’m not planning on going anywhere.” His chair swiveled around, letting him face Sam. His hair was white with a beard that matched. He was dressed down in his pajamas, a robe covering him. He didn’t look nervous.

“Stop talking.”

“You’re younger than what I expected,” the man observed, not paying heed to what Sam was in. He was a considerable distance away. “You’re not even legal yet, are you? I got kids, I would know.”

Sam didn’t say a word, only lifted his gun up to align with his forehead. “I said, stop talking.”

“I’ve made mistakes. Several, actually,” he mused, “It’s why your boss sent you here. I’ve accepted my fate.”

“Then it should be easy.”

“Oh, it never is,” the man chuckled. “It doesn’t get lighter. You learn to ignore it but it’ll weigh on you for the rest of your life.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. It would get easier. It had to.

“I doubt that’s what you heard, however,” he continued. “Ransone’s a bit… unstable. It’s in his blood, but you- you don’t look like you could live with it.”

Ransone’s history was well known enough that rival gang leaders knew it too, apparently. The man would have been delighted at his infamous reputation.

Just shoot him. Just shoot him and end this.

“What’s your name?” the man asked, taking a sip from the tumbler he had in his hand. “You’re going to be the last person I talk to. It’d be nice to have a name.”

“Sam,” he whispered, inwardly cursing himself.

“Sam. That’s a strong name,” the man said, clicking the roof of his mouth with his tongue. “Are you sure this is what you want to do, Sam?”

It wasn’t.

“I don’t have a choice.” He hated how defeated he sounded. It was a weakness.

“They want you to believe that. It takes away your freedom. I would know, I’ve used it.” The man smiled, setting down his glass. “I’ll tell you this though, Sam. You always have a choice.”

“Stop talking, man.” Sam pulled the safety off.

“Once you go down this way, there’s no way you can escape. Someone will always have to die; either him or you.”

“That’s not true.” He could leave at any time. He just needed-

“You’ll see for yourself.” The man leaned back on his chair, resigned. “But for now, go ahead. I’ll make it easy for you.”

He simply closed his eyes and sat back.

You waited for Sam to continue.

“Couldn’t do it,” he said, shaking his head lightly. “Son of a bitch got in my head and I knew what he was doing too. Told him to get the fuck out before my partner shot him in the face.”

“Does Ransone know?” You were still reeling from the incident he recounted. You didn't know what else to say.

“Holds it over me every damn day,” he scoffed. “Some fucked up way of saying that I owe him one.”

To be frank, you were surprised Sam was still alive to tell you. Everyone knew that Ransone forgiven the first mistake someone made, but this was huge. If it were anyone else, he would have had someone try out a hundred different ways to push Sam to the brink of death and back; having him begging for the release that death would bring.

“He hasn’t ever cashed in that favour?”

“He did. Had me take out the leader of the Ten Rings after that.”

“So then why did you still continue?”

“I did something extremely dangerous a couple of years ago that he found out about recently. Used that to get me to come for this mission.”

He didn’t elaborate what he meant and you didn’t ask him to. You supposed it was a story for another day. This was heavy enough.

“He wants to get rid of me as much as I want to get away from him, trust me. We’re the weird, toxic relationship those self-help Instagram pages warned you about.” Trust Sam to make a dumb joke during a conversation like this. “Probably the only time someone from the gang let their target go and not died.”

That wasn’t as true as he thought he was but you didn’t want to seem like you were one-upping him. You didn’t want him to think you were making this about you.

“You remember the big break you were talking about?” you tread carefully, gauging his reaction before you continued. “The one that pushed me up the ranks or whatever.”

He gave a small hum of acknowledgement, bringing his hands from behind his head to fold across his chest.

“Similar story, ‘cept Ransone doesn’t know.”

“What?” His eyes shot open. “How?”

“I was so tired of him treating me like a child. Everyone around who joined after me was out there doinghardcore missions and I was stuck with petty shit.” You didn’t know any better. You wished you had. “So he told me if I made it through this one, he’d send me on more.”

This wasn’t your first mission. You had handled hits before, mostly in the shadows, from a distance.

This was different. It was broad daylight, waiting behind a wall near the gated entrance of the house for a car to pull up.

A challenge, Ransone had posed, with strict instructions to do it in broad daylight. If you got out of this undetected, he’d consider sending you on more sophisticated missions.

“Highly stealthy. They’re dangerous,” you were warned. “You won’t know what hit you if you’re caught off your game.”

The low rumble of the car outside the gate alerted you of your target’s arrival. The gates weren’t going to open, the guards were dead.

The car stopped, waiting for the path to open up. When it didn’t the car’s engine slowed to a stop. The man in the driver’s seat got out to open the gate, giving you a clear shot.

You took a deep breath, clenching your eyes shut for a second before taking aim.

The body hit the gravel and you quickly made your way to the car. You could see the woman in the backseat gaping at where the man was standing a few seconds ago. She was struggling against the door, trying to escape.

She finally succeeded, the door opening suddenly as she stumbled over herself trying to get out.

“Stay there,” you commanded. She slowly looked up at you, face white as a sheet.

“Please,” she croaked. “Don’t hurt us.”

“I’m sorry.” You truly were.

Her face changed, dropping the facade immediately. She just looked on in acceptance, not making an effort to move. Manipulative. She almost had you convinced

You held the gun over her, pulling the trigger. A single shot. Her body slumped over.

You stared at her in silence, expressionless. You let out an exhale, tucking the gun back into the waist of your pants, stepping over her body to leave.

A small, staggering breath made you stop in your tracks. It was so slight you barely heard it. You took a step back, trying to trace where it came from.

You ducked your head to peer into the car, your heart stopping. Your hand instinctively reached for your weapon.

“What the-” you muttered, facing a boy who looked only a few years younger than you. He was staring straight ahead, muscles in his jaw tight.

The son wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be abroad, according to the case file. Unless there were two of them you didn’t know about, this boy wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Listen,” you began, but he didn’t look at you. Just stared straight ahead, body trembling. He was scared. He didn’t show it.

“Show no mercy,” Ransone’s voice rang in your head.

“He’s a child,” you murmured to yourself. Your gun felt heavy in your hand.

Show no mercy.

You could only imagine what would be in store for you if you returned to Ransone with some tale of sympathy. This boy was only a few years younger than you. He didn’t have anything to do with this.

Show no mercy.

“Kid,” you called out. He slowly turned his head. “Go on. Get out of here.”

“What?” he asked, voice hoarse.

“Leave. You can’t be seen if someone comes back,” you urged. “I won’t be able to help you.”

“You killed my mom,” he jeered, unmoving.

“I’m sorry. I had to.” Your voice was quiet. Your hand clutched at the hood of the car to keep your balance. “But I don’t want to hurt you. Go.”

When he didn’t shift, you slammed the hood of the car, scaring him enough to pull at the door and stagger out of the car.

You turned your back to him, not waiting to see where he was going. The more deniability you had, the better.

“Did he make it?”

“He did,” you divulged the information you had found out a while ago. It was a messy confrontation to say the least but you got out unscathed.

“And Ransone doesn’t know.”

“There’s no record of this kid. He thinks he was at boarding school.” You shrugged. “Wasn’t going to correct him either.”

“If he did find out-” Sam trailed off.

“I’d be dead,” you concluded. “Being his favourite wouldn’t matter.”

“Why was it such a big deal, this mission?”

“She was a part of a major gang that Ransone was losing to.”

Sam just nodded knowingly, looking ahead again. You knew he’d done missions like this as well. Things like this were common so it didn’t need further elaboration.

“This job sucks,” he let out.

You gave a short laugh. That was an understatement.

“I want out. Can’t keep doin’ this for much longer,” he continued, however, to your surprise. “Don’t wanna keep doin’ this.”

You bit your lip, eyebrows knitted in concern. “You will.”

“How?” You hadn’t seen him like this before, this hint of desperation in his tone that left as quickly as it came. “I’ve tried, everything just comes up short.”

“I’ll help you.” You wanted to, God you did.

“You gonna kill him for me?” He looked at you. “‘Cause that’s really the only way out of this.”

If you were pushed to the limit, if he was on his knees in front of you and there was a gun in your hand pointed at him; would you be able to pull the trigger? Would you be able to kill the only constant you’d had for more than half your life?

“I can’t,” you muttered, dejection making its way into your thoughts.

“I know,” Sam said softly, “I wouldn’t ask you to either.”

You took a moment to observe him. The sun did him good. There was a soft glow to his skin, the colours of the sunset dancing in his dark eyes. Laugh lines were becoming more prominent around them, only adding to its charm.

He was a good man. He deserved better.

“I’ll find a way,” you sounded determined, “I promise.”

You didn’t say that very often. Your word didn’t mean a lot to people in the business, but it seemed to, to him.

“Thank you.” He appeared taken aback but didn’t show it in his words.

You simply sent him a smile, a reassurance. You knew what you had to do, just weren’t sure how.

He was right. There wasn’t a way out of it other than the one he proposed, but it wasn’t an option. You had to find another.

You would. You’d figure it out.

“It’s Cinnamon, by the way,” he said without any context.

You looked at him in question.

“My embarrassing nickname.” This was not where you saw the conversation heading but you were delighted all of a sudden. “My ma used to call me that all the damn time. Mortifying.”

“Cinnamon and Buttercup.” You didn’t bother hiding the grin that spread across your face. “World’s best assassins.”

“If that name ever leaves this conversation, I’ll know who to murder.”

“You couldn’t even if you tried,” you said playfully, nudging his shoulder.

He shrugged, face relaxed. “T’was worth a shot.”

An unintentional pun you snickered at. You didn’t tease him any further, just filed the name away as a memory. Maybe you’d use it later.

“Have you ever let anyone go after that?” You didn’t want to keep coming back to this conversation but you liked having someone to relate to.

“No.” Sam shook his head. “Didn’t want to test my luck.”

“Me too.” One had been enough. You lived in fear for so long, waiting for someone to pull the plug and tell him what you’d done. That fear only grew everyday, finding a place at the deepest corner of your mind to fester.

“It’s what I meant when I said Serpentine had a motive to want me dead,” Sam said, piquing your interest once more.

“Huh?”

“The man I was supposed to kill- he was their old head. He disappeared after that and no one heard from him but it pissed off everyone, right from Ransone to their stupid gang’s janitor,” he explained, your eyes going wide with every word. “So the irony is, if we’re right, I might have led us into this situation. They’re looking for revenge.”

“Holy shit,” you uttered under your breath.

“I just assumed he died of old age if someone didn’t get to him first. He looked like he was one birthday away from the grave anyway.”

“How are you still alive, Sam?” you asked in wonder.

“I’d do it again.” He laughed, a deep one from his stomach.

He was reckless, clearly. Happily and unashamedly so. And if you continued to hang out with him after this was over, he’d probably get you killed in some stunt or two.

But maybe you’d deal with that if the time came. 

He leaned back again, this time no creases on his forehead from stress. He looked at peace.

You sat together in silence. You occasionally stole glances at him as the sun set in front of you, a small smile on your face.

You leaned your head on his shoulder tentatively. You could feel him tilt his head to look at you and you prepared to have him ask you to move.

It never came. Instead, he scooted closer to you, letting you rest against him more comfortably. Your heart skipped a beat; barely but surely. 

A realisation quickly hit you, suddenly before consuming you. Your stomach sank.  

“Fuck.”

Next part

[writingsbychlo]

if the world was ending | mitch rapp

word count; 5152

summary; mitch broke up with you because he couldn’t handle being in love again, and now he regrets that decision, and would do anything to take it back.

notes; this is a song fic, but I didn’t include all of the lyrics, so don’t send me asks about missing chunks, please! check out the song!

warnings; smut, unprotected sex.

I was distracted, and in traffic I didn't feel it when the earthquake happened, But it really got me thinkin' Were you out drinkin'? Were you in the living room Chillin', watching television?

His key would continuously seem to miss the lock on the door, and Mitch let out a low growl, shoving at the metal once again as he tried to force the lock to work, blurry eyes and exhaustion taking him over. Before he could question it, the door was opening from the inside, metal shifting and gears clicking before the wood was moving from his sights to reveal you instead, a bright smile on your face and one of his black henleys on your shoulders, hanging slightly loose around the open collar as it faded away into a pair of sleep shorts and fluffy socks clad on bare legs.

You were a sight for sore eyes, messy hair and teasing grin, and all. 

“You didn’t even check who it was, what if I’d been an intruder?” He chastised, stumbling forwards one tired legs and pressing a kiss to your lips, humming happily as you pressed back into him just as eagerly, before he was kicking the door shut behind himself and dropping his bag down by the front door. 

“An intruder with a key?” You raised your brows at him, his lips flicking up at the sides as his shoes followed; phone, wallet and keys all being discarded onto the side unit, and his eyes were locking onto the couch, joy filling him at the idea of laying down. “Not that you know how to use it, apparently.”

“You try using a key after six days in Russia with no sleep and having to fight, like, four people at once. Everything hurts.” You placed a hand on his chest to stop him in his movements as he edged toward the couch, a whine falling from him as he turned to look at you.

“You’re covered in blood, you’ll ruin my cushions, you need to wash up first.” He let out another sigh, despite knowing that it was a true and fair request, and nodded his head. “How about I run us a hot bath? I’ll put those bath salts in that make your muscles all tingly, and I’ll wash your hair for you.” 

He nodded, a wave of serenity already washing over him simply at the idea that he’d get to relax in the warmth of the water, his back pressed to your chest as you wrapped around him from behind, holding him close. You were always so good at making him feel safe when he came home, and he knew it was one of the reasons he’d fallen for you in the first place. What was intended to be a simple fling to satisfy the cravings for basic affections and the lust deep in his gut had become much more. 

He had a key to your apartment, and the cat the roamed the halls was friendly enough to bump its head against his shins and purr. He’d met your friends, and knew the names of every worker in that Thai place down the street that you loved so much, and they knew him. It had been so easy to slip into something more deep and meaningful with you, but there was still a clawing guilt in his stomach every time. The true intentions he’d had that night when he’d bought you a drink in a shitty bar while you wore a tight dress and danced under low lights, not to woo you and love you but simply to find a quick fuck, someone to warm his bed and quash the loneliness for a little while. 

He hated that he couldn't give you what you needed, that he wasn’t able to love you, because he just didn’t know how anymore. Every time he came home and went to your place instead of his, the key he held and the emotion in your eyes every time you looked at it, it was only a matter of time before you said those three little words to him that he couldn't say back, and everything he so deeply craved would come crashing and burning down at his feet once again. Warmth would shift to icy chills and he’d have locked himself out once again, because commitment just wasn’t something he was capable of anymore.

The water was running, gentle hands skimming up his sides as you helped him to undress, his own hands working over soft skin as he pushed your clothing to the floor, mouths melding in soft kisses, fingertips leaving goosebumps over flesh as you embraced one another’s touch once again, and even with the respite from his guilt that your presence provided for him, it was still always there. A pit in his stomach that was growing bigger and bigger, because as the tender moment stretched on and on, he knew tonight was going to be when you said it, full of bliss and joy and expecting to hear the phrase back, and so he kissed you, deeply, willing you not to, so that he could selfishly claim just a few more hours with you before it was all over.

It's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to let you go and let communication die out I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine

Pressing his forehead against the side of the plane, his eyes fluttered shut for a second, the painful ache spreading over the entirety of his body was enough to make any other grown man cry, but that wasn’t the cause of the burning behind his eyes today. Today, Mitch had the painful reminded of this day a year ago when he’d been on his way to see you, but he didn’t quite have that luxury anymore. His throat was tinging, choking back the emotions he held, one’s he so wanted to release, and his nostrils flared with a deep sigh instead. 

“You’re been pouting like a child all fuckin’ day. Will you cheer up? You’re ruining the beer I’m anticipating when I get home with your foul mood.” 

He cracked his eyes open, hoping they didn’t appear as glassy and red as they felt, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat, scowling at his mentor in hopes that he’d lay off. That tactic clearly hadn't worked, however, because Stan shifted a little more in his seat, dragging a curious gaze over every inch of his face in a way that made Mitch squirm in his seat a little, uncomfortable at the scrutiny he was being afforded. 

“You look depressed.”

“That’s because I’m stuck on a plane with you.” He muttered, moving himself to look out of the window instead, and his mentor barked out an amused laugh, but Mitch could still feel his lingering stares. 

“No, I think you’re freaking out about what happens after you’re no longer on the plane with me.” He hated that Stan could read him so easily, that to everyone else he was a safe that was locked up tight, and that it was so easy for the other man to crawl under his skin, get on all of his nerves and be one of the only people who truly knew him. “You weren’t even this on edge and tense when we were on our way out, never mind coming home.”

“I just don’t like going home to an empty house, okay? It’s too quiet. Cold.”

He grumbled the words out, but Stan scoffed, and was fixed with a harsh glare in return, but he didn’t flinch like Mitch wished he would, seemingly unaffected by the burning stare. “And who’s fault is that, huh?”

Mitch opened his mouth, gaping a little, before snapping his jaw shut tightly, feeling the muscles twitch and tense as his teeth ground together. He could feel the divet between his brows, where they had puled together, a spot that always formed when he was angry or confused or concentrating, and he could still feel the warmth and weight of you sinking down into his lap while he wrote up his reports, your thumb smoothing over the spot, followed by a brush of your lips as you told him to relax. 

The thought made his eyes sting once again, and he cursed a little under his breath, giving in at the stares they were sharing as he cowered out, blinking forming tears away quickly. “I don’t get what your problem was. You clearly care about her. Why can’t you just tell her that, and stop sulking? It’d do you good o have her back, I liked you better when you weren’t sulking and single. Less of a bitch to work with.”

“You’re a bitch to work with.”

“What are you? Five?” 

He knew it had been a weak response, and he cringed a little on himself, sinking down further into the plush leather of the plane seat and trying to sift through his thoughts, something that Hurley clearly acknowledged, because he waited patiently but expectantly in silence, running a hand over his jaw as he watched Mitch try to gather his thoughts up and sort himself out. “It’s not so easy to just say. It’s complicated.”

“It really ain’t.” Stan shrugged, something about his tone making Mitch feel like he was about to get some kind of fatherly advice, and his curiosity got the best of him as he peered over at his superior. “I’ve heard you say that word before. Heard you say how much you love beer, how much you love beef dumplings and noodles on a Friday night, how much you love knocking cocky recruits on their ass.”

“Saying I love food is not the same as being able to say I love (Y/N).” He hissed, hopes dropping as he realised the statement wasn’t going to be useful, but Stan smirked at him wickedly, shrugging his shoulders and sipping his drink.

“Yeah, well, you just said it.” His face twisted up, moving between several different expressions, before a slightly nauseated shock was what he settled on, as he realised that the words he’d never been able to say aloud before, or even internally acknowledge, had finally been voiced for the first time. In front of Hurley, of all people. He was never going to be able to live this down. “Now, why can’t you say that to her?”

“Because everyone I’ve ever loved before has died, Stan.”

He could see the shock flick across the older man’s face, and it brought him a sick kind of amusement to know he’d caught him so off-guard, but then he was shrugging, and again moving back to that irritating level of passive smart-ass that only he had managed to master so effectively. “Yeah, well, you didn’t have the same training you did before now, did you? You’re not even thirty. You gonna’ spend the whole rest of your life miserable and unhappy just because of a car crash and a shooting, both of which were beyond your control?”

A dull aching in his chest flare dup a little at the mentions of those events, but he knew it was true, and his body deflated with the breath he let out as he gave the weakest rise and drop of his shoulders that he could, his hands clasping over his stomach as he turned to stare out of the plane window. A large hand found his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly, but he didn’t bother to look over. 

“Just stop being a dumbass, you clearly love this girl, so why don’t you just get your head out of your ass and go see her?”

Stan wandered away after that, ice clinking in his glass as he handed it off to a flight attendant before disappearing to the bathroom, and Mitch was left alone to wallow in painful thoughts with a stabbing pain in his chest as his heart continued to long for you. 

But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant If the world was ending You'd come over, right? The sky'd be falling and I'd hold you tight And there wouldn't be a reason why We would even have to say goodbye If the world was ending You'd come over, right? Right?

He was sweating, hands clammy with a nervous perspiration that made him feel uncomfortable in his clothes, like he wanted to curl up into a ball, dig a hole in the earth, throw up, or some combination of all three. The walk he’d done was so familiar to him, and yet right now, as he stood before your door, it had felt eerily unfamiliar.

There were definite changes. 

Your neighbour’s suspicious cat sat out on the front of the apartment building but did not come over to him, even when he’d called out its name, taking the welcome distraction as he crouched down and held his hand out to it, trying to tempt it into remembering him, into approaching him again, but it hadn't. The small animal had simply stared at him as he stood there, before mewing loudly and running away when he’d taken a fraction of a step closer to the door. 

The elevator in the main building was working, it had broken only a few months into seeing you before, and now it was back up and working like it had never been broken. The lights in the entryway were brighter, and the hallways had been repainted, the soft grey that they had once been was replaced with sky blue, much brighter and cheerier, and he remembered you telling him about it while laying in bed together one night, it was the exact colour you’d voted for when the building meeting had taken place to discuss it. 

The crack in the framing by your door that you’d never gotten around to fixing was mended, damage done by the previous tenants and he’d always said he would fix it for you, but had then always forgotten to bring the tools he would need for it, and he choked down the regret in his throat as he brushed a finger over it. He knew the route, his feet feeling like dead weight under his body as he’d trudged along the halls, before finding himself here, all but trembling with fear and anticipation outside of your door. 

The paper and ribbons wrapped around the flowers in his hands were crinkling loudly with every shake he made, and he took a deep and steadying breath, shaking himself down from head to toe. The rapping of his knuckles on the door felt like it reverberated along his entire body, his heart thumping painfully hard against his chest as he waited, eyes fixed on the floor as he watched warm light spill out from under the threshold and into the corridor, soon blocked by a shadow as he heard the scuffling of your feet along the floorboards.

Breath was stuck in his lungs, a choked sound leaving him as the door swung open, your voice ringing out but dying in your throat as you spoke, claiming that whoever it was that you were expecting - certainly not him - was early, and he dropped his eyes, just for a split second to scan along your body, before he was looking up at your face once again.

So pretty, and if he’d thought the melodic ringing of your voice was enough to end him then he had been entirety unprepared for the sight of you. The little black dress he loved so much was fitted to you like a second skin, a cocktail dress he’d seen you wear so many times before as he took you out for drinks and celebrations, his body flooding with heat. Hair styled up, makeup to perfection, and he would have been just as breathless if you’d crawled out of bed to answer the door but you were stunning, and he hated every ounce of himself for ever letting you go.

His jaw dropped as you stared at him in shock, pain flashing in your eyes before you hardened your gaze on him, an act he’d never wished to have you aim at him and yet he knew he deserved it, and yet the words were burning on the tip of his tongue as every moment he’d ever shared with you flashed before his eyes, swirling in his mind, and pulling one very prominent one to the front. 

The last time that he’d almost uttered the phrase to you, the one he was determined for you to hear from him now, even if you no longer felt the same. The last time you’d worn this dress, and you’d taken him with you to celebrate one of your friend’s birthdays, his cheeks heating up as he looked at you, but saw that day.

I tried to imagine your reaction It didn't scare me when the earthquake happened But it really got me thinkin' That night we went drinkin' Stumbled in the house  And didn't make it past the kitchen Ah, it's been a year now Think I've figured out how How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out

You were giggling into his mouth, red lipstick smeared across his chin and cheeks as your fingers scratched at the stubble lining his jaw, tongue tangled together as you stumbled into your apartment. The door slammed as it closed, hard enough to shake the walls, but neither of you cared, especially not when you were making such sweet sounds for him as his hands slipped lower and lower across the silk lining your body. 

Shoes came off first, his shoes being toed off as you tried to kick off your heels, sinking a few inches further down his body as the height fell away, and he wrapped an arm around your waist to be able to lean over you, keeping his mouth firmly on yours as wet tongues tangled together. You were stumbling through the apartment, tripping over one another’s feet and laughing breathlessly as your hands worked down the buttons on the front of his shirt. 

You were pushing the material from his shoulders, blazer and dress shirt falling away to the floor with a distant ‘thud’, the fluttering of material sounding out, and the heat around you both was crawling higher and higher. It was frantic, a night of teasing and longing looks, sipping champagne and cocktails with sly winks and whispered needs. He’d cleaned up for the event, and you’d made it clear before you’d even left just how good you thought he looked, and you were clad in dark black silk with thigh slits and heels and you were enough to bring any man to his knees, and he absolutely intended for that to be his next destination. 

He was rucking up layers of fabric in his hands until the skirt was bunched around your waist, making you hold it up, and the closest surface he could pin you to was the counter of the breakfast bar, barely having even made it through the kitchen, and hissed as bare skin found the cool marble. His knees hit the floor, your panties following until the scrap of lace was pulled tight around your knees, but then he was helping you up, sitting you on the surface, letting your lay back as he spread your legs and dived right in. 

You were dripping for him, before he’d even done anything but kiss you, a groan slipping from his lips as he all but drooled at the thrill of getting to indulge in the honey that was slick on your thighs. That was where he started, licking up the mess you’d already made of yourself as you squirmed and panted underneath him, letting him tease you with small bites and sucking at your soft skin until you’d growled in frustration, a hand in his hair pulling him closer until you were burying his face into your core, sounds that filled every wet dream he ever had taking over. 

His scalp had burned, the scratch of your nails and tugs of the strands and your thighs and hips had been littered with red marks the shape of his fingerprints that would be purple in the morning, but he knew you loved it just as much as he did. Two fingers had slipped into you, scissored and curled as he lapped around them, driving you to the point of senseless babbling just with his fingers and tongue, before you’d exploded around him. Then, he’d fucked you. 

Deep and slow on the counter with your arms wrapped around his neck, legs tights around his waist as you clung to one another, a collection of tangled limbs, a moaning mess and you chased your highs, until the two of you had been all but sobbing one another’s name into the other’s mouth as you kissed your way through your peaks, and he’s spattered your thighs and cunt with his arousal, pulling out at the very last second and leaving you trembling underneath him when he’d scooped it up and pressed it to your lips. 

It was hot, and erotic, but the moments after had been loving and tender. Taking a shower with weak muscles, sinking to the bottom of the tub together as water thrashed down from overhead, soft kisses and laughs and whispered confessions until the water had gone cold, and you’d collapsed into bed together, leaving a mess t tidy up int he morning, sheets sticking to wet skin as you were too lazy to even dry off, just cuddling together under the sheets, drunk on one another, and the words had been so close that night. A sleepy, post-orgasm haze, he’d so nearly whispered them against your lips as you kissed him goodnight.

I know, you know, we know You weren't down for forever and it's fine I know, you know, we know We weren't meant for each other and it's fine But if the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over and you'd stay the night Would you love me for the hell of it? All our fears would be irrelevant

“I love you.”

You flinched, like you were standing too close to a fire and had been burned, and it felt like a knife twisting in his stomach as he watched your reaction. Your arms came up to wrap around yourself, toes digging into the wood of the floor as you stood your ground but he knew your nervous ticks, he knew you, and he frowned, but didn’t let it deter him. 

“I love you so, so much. I’m a fucking idiot, I know I am. I know you hate me, and you’ve probably moved on and can find someone who actually deserves you, but I’m selfish, okay? I wanted you to hear it, I had to tell you, for my own peace of mind. I had to know that I cam here, and had the balls to tell you that you are the person who hasn’t left my mind in an entire fucking year. Every thought, every dream, every time my heart beats, it’s all for you, and I had to tell you.” He took a deep breath, scanning your face for even a twitch, any slight tell of an emotion he could get, but you were offering him nothing. “I couldn’t say it before, I was scared and I didn’t know what I was feeling and I know that I hurt you. It kills me every day to know what I did, to think about your face, and the way you’d cried when I walked out, because it haunts me, okay? A year ago today, I lost the best thing in my god damn life, and I just had to tell you, because in another year, and another ten years, and forever on, I think I’ll still love you then. I had to know that you knew.”

You were staring at him, eyes wide and a little glassy as he took a deep breath, lungs screaming out for oxygen and his mind was finally blank. The incessant buzzing he’d become accustomed to as his mind whirled around you on a loop had finally stopped, and he was left in calm, the aftermath of an event, the silence that came after an explosion, the harmony after a fight when everything just went still. 

But there was always more to come. 

Only then did the thoughts about what you were wearing catch up to him. Pretty painted lips and sharp eyeliner and that sinful dress that made his blood run warmer in his veins as he burned from the inside out. A quick glance behind you confirmed that there was a pair of black strappy heels to match the outfit, a necklace with a gem that he’d never seen you wear before was hanging between your breasts in the low neckline of your dress, skin soft and freshly shaven on the slit up your thigh on your dress. 

He let out a sigh, shoulders slumping a little, but he tried to offer you a reassuring smile nonetheless. “Date?”

Your brows pulled in with confusion, and he could physically see the walls surrounding you begin to crumble away, before you let out a heavy sigh, your arms dropping as you caved under his faze, finally speaking to him; “No. Drinks with the girls.”

“Ah, right..”

A tepid silence took over, and he tried not to drop his eyes from yours. Soaking up every moment he had with you before you inevitably kicked him off of your doorstep, and you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning on the doorframe. “A distraction. They’re taking me out to cheer me up, because it’s been a year since the best thing in my life walked out on me.”

Mitch felt his breath hitch in his throat as he stared at you.

If the world was ending You'd come over, right? The sky'd be falling while I'd hold you tight No, there wouldn't be a reason why We would even have to say goodbye If the world was ending You'd come over, right? You'd come over, right? You'd come over, you'd come over, you'd come over, right?

A fistful of his shirt, a harsh tug that he wasn’t expected that made him fall over his own feet, and then there were lips on his own. He couldn’t help it, the embarrassingly needy whine that left him the second his brain caught up with what was happening, and he dropped the bouquet to the floor, hands finding your hips as he pulled you into him. Bodies collided, flush and pressed together, your hands circling his neck and fingers in his hair, heat flooding him from where you were pressed to him, and it felt like he’d been cold for the entirety of the past year, goosebumps rising and falling along his skin as he fell back home, into your arms.

Your cheeks were wet as you gasped into his mouth, tongues sliding together, panting from breath as noses bumped. It was urgent and rushed, not the kiss he’d imagined with you if you’d forgive him, but the one that seemed most fitting. Messy and uncoordinated as if you were learning each other for the first time, becoming familiarised once again with every inch of the other, hands roaming and tongue exploring, until you were satisfied that you were thoroughly reconnected. 

He let out a wet and hoarse laugh, raising one hand to sit on your jaw and wipe his thumb under your eyes, clearing away the tears that were already threatening to spoil the masterpiece you’d created, and he knew how long it took you to do it.

“Baby, please don’t cry. You’re going to ruin your makeup.”

You let out a laugh, and he cleared your face, stealing a few more pecks as though at any moment you were going to realise what he’d done, go back to hating him, push him away as if this was the last he’d ever get to see you. You were staring up at him, with glassy eyes and the sweetest smile he’d ever seen, and Mitch swore he couldn't even feel the floor anymore, as if he was floating, up in the clouds and lost to the world. 

“I’ll wait. I’ll wait right here, until you come back. We can talk, or you can yell, whatever you want. I’ll be here.”

“I‘m not going anywhere.” You pulled him back in, another collection of sweet kisses that he didn’t deserve but would always accept, never willing to give them up again. “I’d rather stay in and watch TV with you, but you have to go and get us takeout. You know I hate walking to get it.”

“I do, I do know that.” He sniffed, breathy exhale like a laugh as he held onto you tightly, before dipping down to collect the discarded flowers from the ground. A few crumpled petals fell away to the floor, but they were otherwise intact, and he pressed them into your hand carefully, watching as you admired them, thumbing at the delicate leaves and bringing them to your nose. 

“This doesn’t get you off the hook, you know.”

“I’ll spend the entire rest of my life making it up to you, I swear.” You only nodded, letting him into your apartment as you led him inside, smiles and tears and he dipped down, lips brushing your earlobe as he listened to you gasp in surprise. “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, Mitch. Even if you are a fuckin’ idiot.” He only nodded, following your lead as you took him by the hand and guided him through to find a vase and water for the flowers. “Go get my phone, I need to text my friends.”

He did as told, trailing through the apartment, bringing your purse back with him and presenting the item to you, his hands searching for your body once again, just needing to hold you and know that it was real, to know that this time, you weren’t just a dream his mind was conjuring up to torment him with.

He didn’t need a night out, he didn’t need you to be dressed up, he didn’t need anything but you. You and him, and the love you shared, it was enough to get him through anything. 

If the world was ending You'd come over, right?

[avengersapology-vid]

Avengers: College Edition

Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.

Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.

Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.

Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.

Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.

Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.

Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.

Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.

Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.

Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"

Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.

Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.

Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"

Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.

Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

"Recipe for Disaster" sounds like a perfect title for MC and Mammon lmao

Human cooking channel youtuber AU! Hear me out!

Mammon's a model who made a YouTube channel to come across as more relatable and get more fans (earn more money). During his first ever video he makes a stew for lunch out of anything and everything he finds in the fridge while talking about what it's like to be a model etc. (Time is money and he's all about efficiency and that includes multitasking). And the concoction he creates is so bizarre that 90% of the comments are talking about his food rather than his actual modeling career.

Mammon has a nose for sniffing out the newest schemes business ideas if nothing else so his whole channel becomes dedicated to making bizarre food out of whatever ingredients he has at hand and feeding them to his less than willing brothers. His channel grows in popularity (it helps that not only do all his brothers look like super models they're also some of the weirdest people anyone has ever seen. Half his viewers are convinced they're all just characters that these guys are playing. Some of them have theories that all the brothers are based off a sin, kinda like that one spongebob theory. One of his subscribers swears that one of the brother's- Stan maybe? actual name is Satan and everyone else has just been hearing it wrong)

MC has a much smaller channel, at first they use it to talk about tips for photography (HC that MC is a photographer and all those professional pics of the brothers on Devilgram that could only have been taken by someone else was actually taken by MC) and then it pretty much becomes a vlog where they rant about one of their roommates (Solomon) and how he set the kitchen on fire three times during the last 5 days but still happily ate the burnt food (charcoal. It was charcoal at that point). It eventually evolves into a channel of them fixing Solomon's nightmare fuel food and making it something actually edible and this actually makes their channel grow somewhat. (And no it's not just people coming in to catch the occasional glimpse of their other roommate's shoulders)

Eventually Mammon gets a comment saying MC should fix Mammon's food.

He goes on a full rant about how there's nothing to fix and his food is good so what if it's so spicy one of his victims brothers passed out that one time that's just cause they have no taste.

He ends up watching MC's latest video then and ends up binge watching them all through the next few days and getting a stupid crush

Someone links MC to his rant video, and they make a video on how all his recipes seem really unique and how they'd never have thought of that by themself and they don't actually look hazardous to humanity as a whole like Solomon's food is but here's how you fix it so that it's actually edible and won't make you meet God

He sees this and isn't sure if he should be giddy because they praised him or pissed off because they tried to fix his creation. He obviously chooses the latter and rants about them while making something that looks suspiciously radioactive

MC replies with a video complimenting all the ingredients he chose and explaining them while simultaneously calling him an idiot for dipping his bare hand in boiling water to take out potatoes and ending it with a suggestion to get pot holders to drain the water and take the potatoes out after they cool

He replies with a video about how he's not gonna waste money on pot holders when his hand works just fine before he makes chocolate sauce and black licorice mashed potatoes and uses his bare hand to fish out the potatoes just to spite them.

MC replies with a video on how to fix the dish so the flavours won't clash while still keeping the essential ingredients but doesn't mention his hands

He gets a set of bright yellow pot holders and (to be on the safe side) oven mitts with little crows on them ("because your hair looks like a crow's nest") in his P.O. box.He uses them in his next video to make a batch of ketchup and peanut butter cookies

MC fixes another one of Solomon's messes that ended with something with the same consistency of glue stuck to their ceiling while happily snacking on ketchup and peanut butter cookies

This back and forth goes on for a bit, Mammon refuses to change his recipes but they still silently exchange gifts

Obviously their (now shared) viewers notice and start calling out for a collab

MC agrees immediately but Mammon refuses (he's shy fuck he couldn't imagine meeting them face to face) but the draw of money (not their puppy dog eyes in the last video!) makes him agree. They discuss the details over email and agree to do it at his house because he's got the bigger kitchen

They meet at his house and it's awkward at first because he's red af and can't meet their eyes and all his brothers are crowding the doorway to the kitchen and giggling but once the filming starts they fall into an easy routine. They riff off each other and move around the kitchen comfortably as if they've been working together for years. That doesn't mean they don't still argue though, but there's no hostility in it. Mammon gives out the idea of his latest recipe and MC plans out the specifics so that they can execute it. Since it's their first video they make something small and work together easily. Their spicy mayonnaise cupcakes turn out perfectly and are actually good considering none of the brothers are rushing out of the frame.

They are asked for more collabs and they do because they had fun in the first one. The viewers now have to watch two obviously pinning idiots being disasters in a kitchen together. (Just because MC can fix recipes doesn't mean they aren't a mess). They have to watch Mammon go from blushing and stuttering to casually offering MC his finger to lick when he gets icing on it. They have to watch MC going from lowkey flirting to pulling out brightly coloured clips and pinning back Mammon's bangs while his hands are kneading dough. They have to watch the brothers slowly warm up to MC until they're being treated like they've been part of the family from the very beginning (yes this includes viewers catching the first few seconds of an hours long lecture that MC gets from Lucifer). They still have their own channels but they also start up a new channel called 'Recipe for Disaster'. This channel also has vlogs of them randomly buying ingredients for their next cooking video.

Of course there are the rumours and speculation of whether or not they are actually dating, people shipping them, Levi comes up with a ship name, others saying how weird it is to ship real people. MC and Mammon neither confirm it or deny it. During the early days before they had a joint channel Mammon would loudly protest to any such claims while MC just fondly smiled in the background. And sure now he refers to MC as his partner a lot but he could easily mean partner in crime against the food pyramid.

Their viewers finally get their answer when MC one day walks out into one of Mammon's videos in sweatpants and one of his shirts, sleepily kisses him on the cheek and he doesn't even twitch as he says "Mornin' Babe" and continues with his monologue while they grab the milk and walk off frame. They don't even stop to think about whether they should edit it out because they've been dating for one and a half years now. But obviously everyone freaks out and just - Mammon reading the comments with MC looking over his shoulder:

"Heeeeey? Did people just not know we were, ya know, datin'?"

" ...that's weird."

"Wasn't our first video on Recipe for Disaster me tellin' them you were my partner?"

"Yeah weird...the Internet's full of freaks. Remember that time they all thought you were a demon and started mailing holy water?"

"Yeah, what the fuck was that 'bout? Stan got fuckin' pissed!"

I'm tired af & I'll do the rest later! Pls let me know what you think tho❤

[80srichie]

just a bet, part 9

30 days remaining

Richie woke up to his phone ringing with a start. It was Eddie calling him. He missed the answer button a few times since he wasn’t wearing his glasses. “Hello?”

“Richie! Good morning.” Eddie was talking cheerfully.

“What time is it?” Richie asked, rolling over on his bed to grab his glasses off his nightstand.

“11 A.M.” Eddie replied, then paused. “Did I wake you?”

Richie snickered a little. “Yes.”

“Well, good, you should be up anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today? My mom is visiting her sister.”

Richie paused for a moment, stretching out his arms and legs. “Well, toots, I’d be delighted.”

Eddie laughed a little. “Okay, well, get over here after you shower and all that. Please brush your teeth, Rich.”

Richie pouted, even though Eddie couldn’t see him. “Are you implying my breath stinks?”

Eddie laughed again. “Yes. See you soon.”

Richie heard the telltale beeps of an ended call and he put his phone down. He stretched again, finally standing up out of bed. He grabbed a new pair of boxers and headed into the bathroom to shower. Richie more than thoroughly washed his body, purely for the sake of Eddie, and brushed his teeth afterward. He threw on a shirt and some pants, not bothering to make his hair look presentable. He was out the door within the hour Eddie called him.

When Richie arrived, Eddie had already opened the door and was ushering him inside. Eddie seemed very upbeat and excited. “What’s going on with you, huh? Excited to see me or something?” Richie teased.

Eddie smiled. “You could say that. I was making lunch and I got a perfect idea and you get to taste test it!”

Richie raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really? You can’t taste it yourself?”

Eddie frowned a little. “I can! I just want another opinion, asshole.”

Richie smiled, nudging him with his shoulder and bringing him close to him. “I will try anything you make for me, Eds.” He paused, “even your.. bodily fluids…”

Eddie shoved Richie off of him. “You are disgusting and I hate you. I thought you were being sweet.”

Richie scoffed, feigning hurt. “I was Eddie Spaghetti. That was endearing.”

Eddie made a face. “Your definition of endearing is very wrong.” He turned back to the stove, grabbing a wooden spoon and stirring something in a metal pot. “Anyway, come here. I want you to try this.”

Richie leaned over Eddie to peer into the pot, a red sauce lightly simmering. Richie took the wooden spoon from him and sipped a little sauce off the utensil. It was a sweet and spicy tomato sauce. “That’s good, Eds! What is it for?”

Eddie smiled and took the lid and placed it back on the pot, turning the heat on the stovetop down. “Ironically, spaghetti. Unless you’d rather have a rotini or penne pasta, that’s an option too. I didn’t know what pasta shape you liked but thinking about it now, it probably would be something like a bowtie.”

Richie chuckled. “I appreciate the consideration you took into my pasta shape preference, but honestly, I’ll eat anything.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I know that Richie, you eat everything. I just want you to actually like it.” He put another pot on the stove with water in it, turning on the other stovetop to boil the water.

Richie smiled, feeling his heart swell with affection. “You’re going to be the death of me.” He paused for a few moments, before continuing. “Of food poisoning, of course.”

Eddie groaned as he put the box of spaghetti noodles on the counter to await the other pot to boil. “You can’t just compliment me normally, can you?” He turned, staring at Richie with a small grin on his lips. “You’re the worst.”

Richie smiled widely, reaching forward and pulling Eddie towards him by his hips. Their height difference was clearer this way and it was Richie’s favorite. Being able to look down on Eddie and see his innocent brown eyes stare back up at him - it was heavenly. “Eddie…” He started, wetting his strangely dry lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Eddie bit his bottom lip to cry and contain the smile that yeared to appear. “Depends, did you brush your teeth as I asked?”

Richie chuckled, already leaning down to meet Eddie halfway, mumbling out a yes that was muffled by their lips connecting. They fit together seamlessly. Both of them had wordlessly learned each other’s favorite ways to kiss and it never ceased to amaze Richie just how easily their lips fit together. Their first kiss was messy and off-kilter, but every one after that continued to get better and better.

Eddie pulled back after a moment, staring up into Richie’s eyes before taking his hand and sliding it up the back of his neck. Eddie’s hand tangled into Richie’s unruly curls and gently tugged, pulling him back down for a deeper kiss. Eddie had gotten increasingly more forward as time went on and as they both got more comfortable with each other. Richie loved it.

The two of them spent a good few minutes kissing before Eddie, lips a bit swollen, pulled back and detached himself from Richie. “I have to put the pasta in the water.”

Richie made a noise of dissatisfaction but let him go, watching as he dumped the entire box of noodles into the now boiling water. The meal itself was done not soon after, two bowls of perfectly sauced and portioned spaghetti sitting in front of the both of them. They ate in comfortable silence before Richie spoke up. “Hey, Eds, I have a game tomorrow. You’re coming, right?”

Eddie smiled softly, wiping off his mouth with his napkin and setting his fork in his empty bowl. “If you’d like me to.”

Richie nodded. “Of course, I love seeing you in the stands. I always play better knowing a hot guy is watching me.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes and stood, picking up his bowl and taking Richie’s as well.

“Hey! I wasn’t done.” Richie protested.

Eddie laughed a bit. “I know, dickhead. I’ll put the leftovers in a container but my Mom will be home soon, so…” He trailed off, letting Richie fill in the rest on his own. He watched as Eddie put the extra spaghetti in a Tupperware and closed the lid, handing it back when he was done.

Richie took it from him with a smile. “You’re practically my perfect housewife. House… husband?”

Eddie blinked at him, intentionally not playing into his joke. “Uh-huh... Okay, bye, Rich.” He ushered him to the front door and left him outside with a peck to his lips. Once Richie got home, he checked his phone for the first time since that morning and noticed he had multiple texts from Stan, as well as a missed call. He pushed Stan’s number and held it up to his ear. It only rang a few times before Stan picked up with a sigh. “Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

Richie shrugged, laying down on his back on his bed. “I was with Eddie. Why? What’s going on?”

Stan paused for a few seconds. “I wanted to talk about Eddie, actually.”

Richie sat up, looking at the ground in confusion. “Why?” He could hear Stan talking to someone in the background, as well as some shuffling before Stan spoke again.

“I think this has gone too far. The bet.”

Richie scoffed. “I did try to say that like, a month ago, Stan. Why are you bringing it up now?”

Stan sighed again. “You’re going to hurt him if you continue with this and you know it. It’s not fair to him, or you, for that matter.”

Richie took a moment to process what Stan was saying. “Stan, I don’t know if I haven’t made it clear enough, but I like him for real. Like, seriously, genuinely have feelings for him.” The line was uncomfortably silent. “Stan?”

“Okay. How are you going to tell him why you went after him in the first place?”

Richie frowned. “I don’t fuckin’ know! Unless you have an idea, I have no intention of telling him until it’s on my deathbed.”

Stan exhaled dejectedly. “You have to at some point.” He pointed out.

“I know,” Richie groaned. “I know and I will, so, just let me deal with it. Why did you call me anyway?”

Stan clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. “No reason, I suppose. Is he going to be at the game tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Stan said and took a few beats before continuing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Without another word, Stan hung up the phone, the line going to dead static on Richie’s end. He pulled the phone back from his ear and stared at the screen, frowning.

-

The night of Richie’s soccer game was uncharacteristically chilly, most patrons wearing hoodies or light jackets to cover themselves from the cold. It was nearing the end of Fall and the Fall soccer season, so Eddie came prepared. He stood among the rest of the audience in the stands, his hands balled up inside the sleeves of his hoodie and tucked into the front pocket to keep warm. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, watching the soccer game in front of him. Since he had started dating Richie, the rules of soccer started to make more sense. He could easily name the different positions and even knew some of the penalties and why they were called. Half-time had just been called when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. Eddie turned, a bit startled. “Oh, sorry, hi, Bill. You scared me.”

Bill offered him a friendly smile. “H-Hey, Eddie, can we talk real quick?” He jutted his thumb over his shoulder to a grassy area beside the bleachers that was mostly empty, apart from a man and his dog.

Eddie glanced back at the game and nodded. “Yeah, sure, I just wanna get back before the game starts back up.”

Bill nodded in agreement, leading Eddie down to the area he had pointed to, the man and his dog moved on from the area, leaving the two of them alone. “So, um, what’s up?” Eddie asked, bouncing on his feet to keep himself warm.

Bill wrung his hands together anxiously and Eddie waited patiently with a confused smile on his face. “You okay?” He eventually asked.

Bill nodded. “Yeah, I juh-just don’t know how to p-phrase it.” He let out a long sigh before talking again. “I… I like you, E-Eddie.”

Eddie’s friendly smile dropped from his face, hating the way his stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Um…”

Bill continued before Eddie had the chance to talk. “I h-have for a good wh-while, too.”

Eddie managed to crack an uneasy grin. “Uh, Bill…” He laughed awkwardly. “You... Why are you telling me this?”

Bill frowned. “Because I wa-wanted you to know, a-and I think y-you deserve better than Richie.”

It was Eddie’s turn to frown now. “I don’t think you have a say in that.” He mumbled, taking a step back towards the stands. “If that’s all, I’m going to-”

“Wait!” Bill reached out, grabbing Eddie’s arm.

Eddie gently pulled back from his touch. “Sorry, Bill, I have to get back to wa-”

Bill grimaced. “No! There’s something you need to know.” When Eddie made no move to leave, Bill sighed and spoke. “Richie never liked you.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, Bill, seriously? We have been together for a good few weeks, I would know if-”

“He’s dating you because of a bet, Eddie!” Bill exploded. “It was Beverly’s idea and Stan knows about it too - He hasn’t told you yet because you guys haven’t slept together and that was part of the deal.”

Eddie’s movements faltered, his body growing colder as Bill spoke. “What?” He asked, shaking his head. “No, you’re making that up. He told me the bet Beverly was talking about had to-”

“-do with Stan. He lied. She was talking about you, Eddie, she always was. Richie’s been lying.”

Eddie let out a shaky breath, turning his back to Bill and facing the field. He could see Richie jogging towards them and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “No… You have to be lying.”

Richie approached them, smiling at Eddie. His smile faltered, though, when he saw the look on his face. “Eds? Bill? What’s going on?”

Eddie felt his tears prick with tears. “Tell me he’s lying, Richie. Tell me right now.”

Richie was alarmed. “Lying about what?” He turned to Bill. “What did you tell him?” He demanded.

Bill stood his ground. “The truth.”

Eddie was staring at Richie, his eyes burning from oncoming tears. “Did you date me… Are you dating me, for a fucking bet, Richie? You told me Beverly was talking about you and Stan.”

Richie’s face fell, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. “Eds-”

“Tell me!” Eddie cried, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Richie’s jersey and shaking him a bit. “Tell me right now.”

Richie could feel his entire life fading in front of him. “You have to let me explain.”

Eddie abruptly dropped his hold on Richie’s jersey and took a step back, tears finally finding their way out of Eddie’s eyes and rolling down his cheeks. “You promised me, Richie.”

Richie tried to close the gap between them, but Eddie pushed him away. “Don’t!”

Richie couldn’t breathe, his world was spinning anxiously around him. He felt like he could get sick right here. “Eddie, please, let me explain. It will make sense, I promise, none of this was fake!”

Eddie scoffed, using his sleeve to wipe away the tears pilling under his eyelashes. “You’re so full of shit. I can’t believe I trusted you, you stupid fucking asshole.” Eddie’s voice was laced with malice and regret; It made Richie’s heart hurt more. Bill made a move towards Eddie, and he backed up from him as well. “I don’t want to fucking talk to you, either.” He threatened, sniffing and glaring at Richie. “If it wasn’t clear, do not ever fucking call me, text me, speak to me again.” With that, Eddie was gone, disappearing around the backside of the bleachers and into the poorly lit school parking lot.

Richie stood there, shocked and heartbroken, before turning to Bill. “What the fuck did you do?” He asked angrily, moving towards him.

“I-I told him the truth!” Bill said, backing up a bit. “He d-deserves better than you, R-Richie, and you know it!”

Richie pushed Bill harshly by his shoulders. It all clicked. “Oh, and you’re much better?” He pushed him again, Bill falling into the wired fence behind him. “You are a selfish fucking prick, Denbrough, and I’ll make sure everyone fucking knows.”

Bill stood there, leaning against the fence. “Everyone already thinks you are, Richie.” He said, pushing past him to leave, heading the same way Eddie had gone.

Richie stood alone in the grassy area, attempting to calm his rapid thoughts of anger. Bill told Eddie and Eddie believed him and now he was gone. Richie knew he needed to tell Eddie himself but he couldn’t find any time that would have gone better.

Someone approached Richie from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Richie?” It was Stan.

Richie pulled away from his touch. “It was your idea, wasn’t it?”

Stan blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Bill telling Eddie! It was you, wasn’t it? You put the thought in Bill’s head so he would end this stupid bet!”

Stan frowned. “Bill did what? Eddie knows?”

“Yes!” Richie cried. “Eddie fucking knows! Do you see him here, Stan, huh?”

Stan grimaced at Richie’s yelling. “I didn’t tell Bill to do anything. He had a crush on Eddie-”

“Isn’t that fucking sweet,” Richie mumbled, moving past Stan to chase after Eddie. He was going to make things right, he was going to explain himself.

“What about the game?” Stan asked and Richie nearly exploded.

“I don’t give a fuck about anything but Eddie right now, Stan! Isn’t that obvious?”

Stan nodded his head. “Just tell the truth. Tell him how you’ve always felt, Richie, he needs words.”

Richie stared at him for a few beats, before turning to walk away without another word.

30 days remaining

Richie woke up to his phone ringing with a start. It was Eddie calling him. He missed the answer button a few times since he wasn’t wearing his glasses. “Hello?”

“Richie! Good morning.” Eddie was talking cheerfully.

“What time is it?” Richie asked, rolling over on his bed to grab his glasses off his nightstand.

“11 A.M.” Eddie replied, then paused. “Did I wake you?”

Richie snickered a little. “Yes.”

“Well, good, you should be up anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today? My mom is visiting her sister.”

Richie paused for a moment, stretching out his arms and legs. “Well, toots, I’d be delighted.”

Eddie laughed a little. “Okay, well, get over here after you shower and all that. Please brush your teeth, Rich.”

Richie pouted, even though Eddie couldn’t see him. “Are you implying my breath stinks?”

Eddie laughed again. “Yes. See you soon.” 

Richie heard the telltale beeps of an ended call and he put his phone down. He stretched again, finally standing up out of bed. He grabbed a new pair of boxers and headed into the bathroom to shower. Richie more than thoroughly washed his body, purely for the sake of Eddie, and brushed his teeth afterwards. He threw on a shirt and some pants, not bothering to make his hair look presentable. He was out the door within the hour Eddie called him.

When Richie arrived, Eddie had already opened the door and was ushering him inside. Eddie seemed very up-beat and excited. “What’s going on with you, huh? Excited to see me or something?” Richie teased.

Eddie smiled. “You could say that. I was making lunch and I got the perfect idea and you get to taste test it!”

Richie raised his eyebrows. “Oh, really? You can’t taste it yourself?”

Eddie frowned a little. “I can! I just want another opinion, asshole.”

Richie smiled, nudging him with his shoulder and bringing him close to him. “I will try anything you make for me, Eds.” He paused, “even your.. bodily fluids…”

Eddie shoved Richie off of him. “You are disgusting and I hate you. I thought you were being sweet.”

Richie scoffed, feigning hurt. “I was Eddie Spaghetti. That was endearing.”

Eddie made a face. “Your definition of endearing is very wrong.” He turned back to the stove, grabbing a wooden spoon and stirring something in a metal pot. “Anyway, come here. I want you to try this.”

Richie leaned over Eddie to peer into the pot, a red sauce lightly simmering. Richie took the wooden spoon from him and sipped a little sauce off the utensil. It was a sweet and spicy tomato sauce. “That’s good, Eds! What is it for?”

Eddie smiled and took the lid and placed it back on the pot, turning the heat on the stovetop down. “Ironically, spaghetti. Unless you’d rather have a rotini or penne pasta, that’s an option too. I didn’t know what pasta shape you liked, but thinking about it now, it probably would be something like a bowtie.”

Richie chuckled. “I appreciate the consideration you took into my pasta shape preference, but honestly, I’ll eat anything.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I know that, Richie, you eat everything. I just want you to actually like it.” He put another pot on the stove with water in it, turning on the other stovetop to boil the water. 

Richie smiled, feeling his heart swell with affection. “You’re going to be the death of me.” He paused for a few moments, before continuing. “Of food poisoning, of course.”

Eddie groaned as he put the box of spaghetti noodles on the counter to await the other pot to boil. “You can’t just compliment me normally, can you?” He turned, staring at Richie with a small grin on his lips. “You’re the worst.”

Richie smiled widely, reaching forward and pulling Eddie towards him by his hips. Their height difference was clearer this way and it was Richie’s favorite. Being able to look down on Eddie and see his innocent brown eyes stare back up at him - it was heavenly. “Eddie…” He started, wetting his strangely dry lips. “Can I kiss you?”

Eddie bit his bottom lip to cry and contain the smile that yeared to appear. “Depends, did you brush your teeth like I asked?”

Richie chuckled, already leaning down to meet Eddie halfway, mumbling out a yes that was muffled by their lips connecting. They fit together seamlessly. Both of them had wordlessly learned each other’s favorite ways to kiss and it never ceased to amaze Richie just how easily their lips fit together. Their first kiss was messy and off-kilter, but every one after that continued to get better and better.

Eddie pulled back after a moment, staring up into Richie’s eyes before taking his hand and sliding it up the back of his neck. Eddie’s hand tangled into Richie’s unruly curls and gently tugged, pulling him back down for a deeper kiss. Eddie had gotten increasingly more forward as time went on and as they both got more comfortable with each other. Richie loved it.

The two of them spent a good few minutes kissing before Eddie, lips a bit swollen, pulled back and detached himself from Richie. “I have to put the pasta in the water.” 

Richie made a noise of dissatisfaction but let him go, watching as he dumped the entire box of noodles into the now boiling water. The meal itself was done not soon after, two bowls of perfectly sauced and portioned spaghetti sitting in front of the both of them. They ate in a comfortable silence, before Richie spoke up. “Hey, Eds, I have a game tomorrow. You’re coming, right?”

Eddie smiled softly, wiping off his mouth with his napkin and setting his fork in his empty bowl. “If you’d like me to.”

Richie nodded. “Of course, I love seeing you in the stands. I always play better knowing a hot guy is watching me.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes and stood, picking up his bowl and taking Richie’s as well.

“Hey! I wasn’t done.” Richie protested.

Eddie laughed a bit. “I know, dickhead. I’ll put the leftovers in a container but my Mom will be home soon, so…” He trailed off, letting Richie fill in the rest on his own. He watched as Eddie put the extra spaghetti in a Tupperware and closed the lid, handing it back when he was done.

Richie took it from him with a smile. “You’re practically my perfect housewife. House… husband?”

Eddie blinked at him, intentionally not playing into his joke. “Uh huh.. Okay, bye, Rich.” He ushered him to the front door and left him outside with a peck to his lips. Once Richie got home, he checked his phone for the first time since that morning and noticed he had multiple texts from Stan, as well as a missed call. He pushed Stan’s number and held it up to his ear. It only rang a few times before Stan picked up with a sigh. “Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

Richie shrugged, laying down on his back on his bed. “I was with Eddie. Why? What’s going on?”

Stan paused for a few seconds. “I wanted to talk about Eddie, actually.”

Richie sat up, looking at the ground in confusion. “Why?” He could hear Stan talking to someone in the background, as well as some shuffling, before Stan spoke again.

“I think this has gone too far. The bet.”

Richie scoffed. “I did try to say that like, a month ago, Stan. Why are you bringing it up now?”

Stan sighed again. “You’re going to hurt him if you continue with this and you know it. It’s not fair to him, or you, for that matter.”

Richie took a moment to process what Stan was saying. “Stan, I don’t know if I haven’t made it clear enough, but I like him for real. Like, seriously, genuinely have feelings for him.” The line was uncomfortably silent. “Stan?”

“Okay. How are you going to tell him why you went after him in the first place?”

Richie frowned. “I don’t fuckin’ know! Unless you have an idea, I have no intention of telling him until it’s on my deathbed.”

Stan exhaled dejectedly. “You have to at some point.” He pointed out.

“I know,” Richie groaned. “I know and I will, so, just let me deal with it. Why did you call me anyways?”

Stan clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth. “No reason, I suppose. Is he going to be at the game tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Stan said and took a few beats before continuing. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” Without another word, Stan hung up the phone, the line going to dead static on Richie’s end. He pulled the phone back from his ear and stared at the screen, frowning. 

-

The night of Richie’s soccer game was uncharacteristically chilly, most patrons wearing hoodies or light jackets to cover themselves from the cold. It was nearing the end of Fall and the Fall soccer season, so Eddie came prepared. He stood among the rest of the audience in the stands, his hands balled up inside the sleeves of his hoodie and tucked into the front pocket to keep warm. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, watching the soccer game in front of him. Since he had started dating Richie, the rules of soccer started to make more sense. He could easily name the different positions and even knew some of the penalties and why they were called. Half-time had just been called when he felt someone tap him on his shoulder. Eddie turned, a bit startled. “Oh, sorry, hi, Bill. You scared me.”

Bill offered him a friendly smile. “H-Hey, Eddie, can we talk really quick?” He jutted his thumb over his shoulder to a grassy area beside the bleachers that was mostly empty, apart from a man and his dog. 

Eddie glanced back at the game and nodded. “Yeah, sure, I just wanna get back before the game starts back up.”

Bill nodded in agreement, leading Eddie down to the area he had pointed to, the man and his dog moved on from the area, leaving the two of them alone. “So, um, what’s up?” Eddie asked, bouncing on his feet to keep himself warm.

Bill wrung his hands together anxiously and Eddie waited patiently with a confused smile on his face. “You okay?” He eventually asked.

Bill nodded. “Yeah, I juh-just don’t know how to p-phrase it.” He let out a long sigh before talking again. “I… I like you, E-Eddie.”

Eddie’s friendly smile dropped from his face, hating the way his stomach clenched uncomfortably. “Um…”

Bill continued before Eddie had the chance to talk. “I h-have for a good wh-while, too.”

Eddie managed to crack an uneasy grin. “Uh, Bill…” He laughed awkwardly. “You.. Why are you telling me this?”

Bill frowned. “Because I wa-wanted you to know, a-and I think y-you deserve better than Richie.”

It was Eddie’s turn to frown now. “I don’t think you have a say in that.” He mumbled, taking a step back towards the stands. “If that’s all, I’m going to-”

“Wait!” Bill reached out, grabbing Eddie’s arm. 

Eddie gently pulled back from his touch. “Sorry, Bill, I have to get back to wa-”

Bill grimaced. “No! There’s something you need to know.” When Eddie made no move to leave, Bill sighed and spoke. “Richie never liked you.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, Bill, seriously? We have been together for a good few weeks, I would know if-”

“He’s dating you because of a bet, Eddie!” Bill exploded. “It was Beverly’s idea and Stan knows about it too - He hasn’t told you yet because you guys haven’t slept together and that was part of the deal.”

Eddie’s movements faltered, his body growing colder as Bill spoke. “What?” He asked, shaking his head. “No, you’re making that up. He told me the bet Beverly was talking about had to-”

“-do with Stan. He lied. She was talking about you, Eddie, she always was. Richie’s been lying.”

Eddie let out a shaky breath, turning his back to Bill and facing the field. He could see Richie jogging towards them and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “No… You have to be lying.” 

Richie approached them, smiling at Eddie. His smile faltered, though, when he saw the look on his face. “Eds? Bill? What’s going on?”

Eddie felt his tears prick with tears. “Tell me he’s lying, Richie. Tell me right now.”

Richie was alarmed. “Lying about what?” He turned to Bill. “What did you tell him?” He demanded.

Bill stood his ground. “The truth.”

Eddie was staring at Richie, his eyes burning from oncoming tears. “Did you date me… Are you dating me, for a fucking bet, Richie? You told me Beverly was talking about you and Stan.”

Richie’s face fell, his heart twisting painfully in his chest. “Eds-”

“Tell me!” Eddie cried, reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Richie’s jersey and shaking him a bit. “Tell me right now.”

Richie could feel his entire life fading in front of him. “You have to let me explain.” 

Eddie abruptly dropped his hold on Richie’s jersey and took a step back, tears finally finding their way out of Eddie’s eyes and rolling down his cheeks. “You promised me, Richie.”

Richie tried to close the gap between them, but Eddie pushed him away. “Don’t!”

Richie couldn’t breathe, his world was spinning anxiously around him. He felt like he could get sick right here. “Eddie, please, let me explain. It will make sense, I promise, none of this was fake!”

Eddie scoffed, using his sleeve to wipe away the tears pilling under his eyelashes. “You’re so full of shit. I can’t believe I trusted you, you stupid fucking asshole.” Eddie’s voice was laced with malice and regret; It made Richie’s heart hurt more. Bill made a move towards Eddie, and he backed up from him as well. “I don’t want to fucking talk to you, either.” He threatened, sniffing and glaring at Richie. “If it wasn’t clear, do not ever fucking call me, text me, speak to me again.” With that, Eddie was gone, disappearing around the backside of the bleachers and into the poorly lit school parking lot. 

Richie stood there, shocked and heart-broken, before turning to Bill. “What the fuck did you do?” He asked angrily, moving towards him.

“I-I told him the truth!” Bill said, backing up a bit. “He d-deserves better than you, R-Richie, and you know it!”

Richie pushed Bill harshly by his shoulders. It all clicked. “Oh, and you’re much better?” He pushed him again, Bill falling into the wired fence behind him. “You are a selfish fucking prick, Denbrough, and I’ll make sure everyone fucking knows.”

Bill stood there, leaning against the fence. “Everyone already thinks you are, Richie.” He said, pushing past him to leave, heading the same way Eddie had gone.

Richie stood alone in the grassy area, attempting to calm his rapid thoughts of anger. Bill told Eddie and Eddie believed him and now he was gone. Richie knew he needed to tell Eddie himself but he couldn’t find any time that would have gone better.

Someone approached Richie from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Richie?” It was Stan.

Richie pulled away from his touch. “It was your idea, wasn’t it?”

Stan blinked in surprise. “What?”

“Bill telling Eddie! It was you, wasn’t it? You put the thought in Bill’s head so he would end this stupid bet!”

Stan frowned. “Bill did what? Eddie knows?”

“Yes!” Richie cried. “Eddie fucking knows! Do you see him here, Stan, huh?”

Stan grimaced at Richie’s yelling. “I didn’t tell Bill to do anything. He had a crush on Eddie-”

“Isn’t that fucking sweet.” Richie mumbled, moving past Stan to chase after Eddie. He was going to make things right, he was going to explain himself.

“What about the game?” Stan asked and Richie nearly exploded.

“I don’t give a fuck about anything but Eddie right now, Stan! Isn’t that obvious?”

Stan nodded his head. “Just tell the truth. Tell him how you’ve always felt, Richie, he needs words.”

Richie stared at him for a few beats, before turning to walk away without another word. 

-

hi all!

I'm not dead and i clearly have been rusty with writing reddie specifically, is it as obvious as it feels?

I do intend to finish this fic at some point in the near future. writing this chapter was not as bad as I imagined it would be. i was terribly afraid of how out of my element with these characters I was - but I went back and watched the movie and re-read some of the previous chapters and felt like I could give it a go. i hope to be able to wrap this monster up in one more chapter, so be on the lookout for that. for those of you who have stuck around and are reading this - I love you. thank you for your continued support. this fic was my baby and I intend to have a finished product that I'm at least happy with the last 20% of it. also, if any of you are into anime, I have a separate ao3 account under the name kenmqs so be sure to visit me there.

<3

[just-jordie-things]

Hot Dream - Richie Tozier

word count: 5467 warnings: swearing, it’s not smutty but there’s like.. themes of boning ya feel summary: (y/n) has a really steamy dream... about the person she’d least expect.  And when Richie finds out it’s about him, he can’t help but tease her a bit ___

You hummed into Richie’s mouth as his hands traveled lower, just barely ghosting the curve of your ass, as his slender fingers slipped under the hem of your shirt, and tracing with a feather light touch to the dip of you back.

You shivered, and instantly arched your back, pressing your chest and hips further against him.  You could feel him smirking against your lips, and he broke the kiss.

He was an excellent kisser, it was like he could anticipate your every move, and sensually kiss you in sync.  His mouth was hot against yours, the perfect contrast to his freezing fingers on your skin.

“Are my hands cold, baby?” He asked in a teasing voice before gripping your hips.

You shivered again, but you giggled as you nodded your head.

“You want me to let go then-?”

“Don’t you fucking dare” You muttered before he could take his hands off of you.

He chuckled, and fully pressed his lips against yours.

Finally, he knew how to put that mouth to good use. ___

“Wow…” Beverly monotoned.  “That’s… actually really dirty”

“I know,” (y/n) grumbled, putting her face in her hands.  “It came out of fucking nowhere”

“I can’t believe you had a hot dream about Richie”

“Please don’t talk so loud,” (y/n) muttered, eyes wandering the library to make sure no one could hear them.  “Bev, I need your help here, what am I supposed to do?”

Her dream last night had been… really good.  Really good.  But she’d never even looked at Richie that way before, so to have such a… dirty dream about him was turning her inside out.  They’d been friends forever, and she’d always liked him, as a friend, or so she thought.  But sometime in high school he shot up like a tree, and the features of his face became a little more defined, his voice deepened, and the other girls at school were starting to notice Richie Tozier’s sudden… hotness.  (y/n) wasn’t immune to it, she could see clear as day that her friend was attractive.  But she’d never really had a second thought about it until last night.

The red head giggled, shaking her head.

“I don’t know, girl.  You’re the one with a trashmouth kink,” (y/n) glared at her, while she burst into laughter.  “Maybe you have a thing for being called baby? I mean, how many times in that story-”

“Okay, I’m done, you’re no help at all”

(y/n) gathered her things from the desk and shoved them all into her backpack haphazardly.

“Alright, I’ll be serious, don’t leave,” Beverly said quickly.  “Come on, maybe it’s simple”

“What do you mean?” (y/n) sighed dreadfully.

“Maybe you just have a crush on him” She said with a shrug. ___

It had been a few days since her dream, and since telling Beverly about it.  And (y/n) was on edge.

She barely hung out with the Losers all together, not when Richie was there, anyways.  She still studied with Bill, Stan, and Eddie, and she still spent most of her free time with Beverly, but if they were doing something that Richie would be at, she made up an excuse and hid at home.

There was no way she was going to risk seeing him.  She knew that she would inevitably embarrass herself, and then he would tease her, and she just couldn’t have that.

Not to mention, for the past week she’d been dodging him in class, in the halls, at lunch, it was starting to become noticeable.

Richie would wave at her while she was at her locker, and she would turn the other way and race to class.  He’d ask to partner up for a lab and she would lie and say she already had a partner, only to do the entire project by herself.  And when he walked into the cafe for lunch, she made up an excuse about needing to study, and ate lunch alone in the halls.

And Richie was starting to catch on to her peculiar behavior.

If he couldn’t track her down to tell him what was up, he’d just have to go to the next best thing.

“Beverly,” He gave the girl a cheesy grin, and leaned up against the locker next to hers all too casually.  “How ya doing sweetheart?”

“Whatever the hell it is you want, the answer’s no” The red head told him, not even looking in his direction as she grabbed her books.  

“I’m not up to anything,” Richie said, putting his hands up innocently.  “Promise”

“Right,” She mumbled back.  “What is it then?”

“You’re (y/n’s) best friend, right?” He asked, and she nodded her head, but gave him a confused look.

“Why?”

“Because, she’s been ditching me all week and I want you to tell me why”

“Sounds like that’s you business with her, not me,” Beverly said with a smirk.  “Just man up and ask her yourself”

“See, I would, but you must’ve missed the part where I said she won’t talk to me,” He said, voice thick with sarcasm.  “So could you help a buddy out and just spill? Because I know she’s told you why-”

“I’m not gonna gossip about my best girl to you,” Beverly told him, shutting her locker and narrowing her eyes at the boy.  “Why don’t you just figure it out and talk to her,” A knowing smirk tugged on her lips.  “I’m sure that’ll go over well”

Richie’s brows furrowed as she licked her lips and walked away.

What the fuck does that mean?

Maybe he’d have to try the next best thing. ___

“O-oh, yeah, she’s r-really ignoring you” Bill said with a chuckle.

He’d decided that if he couldn’t get the information out of who (y/n) spills to, he’d get it out of who Beverly spills to.  And sure enough, Bill knew what was up.

“I know that, what I wanna know is why the fuck she is!” Richie shouted, making heads turn as the other students in study hall glared at him for his loud mouth.

“More like w-what you d-didn’t do” Bill snickered, only furthering Richie’s confusion.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It m-means,” Bill leaned closer to speak quietly to his friend.  “(y/n) h-had a dream a-about you”

“So?” RIchie asked, still at full volume.  “That’s not that fuckin weird, and it’s definitely not an excuse to ignore me-”

“A hot dream” Bill clarified, voice void of his usual stutter.

For once, Richie was speechless, and Bill was laughing as he went back to doing his homework.

Well, that was certainly an interesting piece of news. ___

(y/n) had been minding her own business in the school’s library, copying the chem notes that she was lucky enough to get from Ben since she’d started skipping the class entirely.  It was just too risky.  It felt like Richie was always looking her way trying to get her attention, and it was distracting.

She didn’t like skipping classes, it made her uncomfortable, and she really didn’t want to get detention, but maybe detention was the lesser of two evils here.

Bill Denbrough wandered up to her, and took a seat across from her.

“Hey,” He greeted, with his always-so-pleasant smile.  She smiled back, silent as she went back to her notebook.  “S-so some of us are g-gonna go to the arcade.  F-for food and games a-and stuff”

“Sounds fun,” She hummed, setting down her pen.  “Who’s going?”

He knew she was going to ask that.  

“M-me, Bev, and M-Mike,” He said.  “M-maybe Eddie t-too.  He’s n-not sure yet.  B-but Ben had a l-lot of homework, St-Stan’s grounded and Richie said h-he wasn’t up f-for it”

“Okay,” (y/n) shrugged.  “When should I head over?”

“Seven-ish, w-we’re waiting until Mike’s done with his s-schoolwork”

(y/n) gave a half smile, feeling bad that Mike was always doing schoolwork.  Being homeschooled and having to work on his grandfather’s farm was hard on him.  But at least he could hang out with them tonight.

“Sounds good, see you then” ___

Bill Denbrough was a no-good-mother-fucking-liar and (y/n) had never wanted to hurt the sweet boy before but dear god she wanted to hit him with a car right now.

When she walked into the arcade, there, sat at the table, were her friends.  Bill, Beverly, and Mike, as promised.

And then there was Richie fucking Tozier.

He looked up at her as she approached the table, a smirk on his face.  As though even he knew he wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Finally! You made it!” Beverly said excitedly, and gestured for her to sit.

But both sides of the booth were full.  Bill and Bev on one side, and Richie and Mike on the other.

“I’ll grab a chair-”

“Nonsense, you can sit with me” Richie spoke, and the next thing she knew he was tugging her to sit next to him.

She was pressed up against him completely, and his arm was wrapped around behind her to keep her from falling off the seat.  Before she could object and go find a chair to pull up to the table, Mike went back to talking about something that happened on the farm.

(y/n) tried to listen, she did, but it was hard when Richie consumed every single one of her senses.  From the way he held her tightly against his side, to the smirk on his lips every time he looked down at her, and fuck he smelled good.

She kept herself occupied by stealing cheese fries off the large plate on the table, and doing her best to listen to what Mike was saying.

She made it about ten minutes before Richie was pestering her again.  His fingers were tapping on her shoulder.  It was just a little beat at first, and then it was a constant tap, and now he was rubbing circles.  She thought it was just him being his usual nonstop-moving self.

It was driving her crazy, and she shifted in her seat, trying to put a little distance between their bodies.  Not that it was possible without falling out of the booth.

Richie’s arm dropped to wrap around her waist, his hand firmly holding onto her.  He lowered his head so that when he murmured only she could hear.

“Something wrong, baby?”

He said it so casually, in a voice so low that a shiver went down her spine, and he smirked when he noticed.

(y/n’s) eyes shot up to look at him, taken aback from the pet name.  Richie never called her that.  It was always toots, or hotstuff, or sugar.  The only time she’d ever heard him call her baby was in….

Her eyes widened.

“N-no” She stammered back, and his smirk only widened.

“You sure? You look kind of pale”

She swallowed and nodded.  Her voice was untrustworthy.

In fact, she didn’t talk much the rest of the time they were eating.  And everyone noticed.

Except Mike, who wasn’t in on the gossip to know what was going on.  As far as he knew, Richie was just being his weird teasing self as usual.  Nothing to even question.

He didn’t notice Beverly’s knowing grin, and Bill’s eyes constantly wandering between the cuddled up pair.  Hell, Mike was sat right next to Richie, and still couldn’t see the drastic change in his  and (y/n’s) demeanor.

It made for an amusing evening for Richie Beverly and Bill.  (y/n)... not exactly.

When Bill suggested they play games, she practically leapt out of the seat, shoving Richie’s hand off of her and making her way to the arcade as quickly as possible.

“You’re stupid” Beverly said to Richie discreetly with a shake of her head.

“Y-yeah, what are y-you trying to d-do, seduce h-her?” Bill asked.

Richie just rolled his eyes, shaking his head and standing to follow after (y/n).

“Wait, what?” Mike asked, looking at the remaining two friends.  “Does Richie have a crush on (y/n)?”

Bill and Beverly burst into giggles, only furthering Mike’s confusion.

“Does everyone know something I don’t?”

“Yep,” Beverly said, popping her lips.  “Richie’s just messing with her cause she had a sexy dream about him”

Mike’s eyes nearly popped out of his head, and his jaw dropped open.  He looked more shocked than Richie had when he’d found out.  

“Are you serious?”

The others just laughed at him, and made their way off to play games, despite Mike’s begging for more answers.

Richie was talking to (y/n), as expected.  She was at the change machine, trying to get her dollar smooth enough that it would read it, while he leaned over her and tried to convince her to play Street Fighter with him.

“I have a high score to beat” She muttered back, intently focused on rubbing the dollar over the side of the machine to smooth out it’s wrinkles.

“Oh really?” He chuckled, and she nodded her head.  “I don’t believe you”

She glanced over at him, only intending to do so for a second, but his eyes were so concentrated on her that it was hard to look away once they met.  His brows were furrowed a bit, as if he were studying her.

“Fine” She mumbled, licking her lips which suddenly felt very dry, and finally slid her dollar into the machine.

Richie grinned, clapping his hands once, very loudly, enough that she jumped a bit.

“Excellent” He said, and leaned in to kiss her cheek, and squeeze her hip.

She practically whirled around when he pulled away, watching him confusedly.

“I’ll go save the machine, baby” He said, and headed off without another word.

She grabbed her change from the machine, and then stormed over to where Beverly and Mike were playing skee-ball.

“You told!” She hissed at the red head.

“What?”

“You told-” Her eyes wandered to Mike, but then shook her head as if to say fuck it, and continued on anyways.  “You told Richie that I had a dream about him!” Her hushed scream was embarrassed, but the blush on her face already told her that.

Mike began to laugh, while Beverly shook her head.

“No I didn’t.  I mean… I didn’t tell Richie…”

“What?” (y/n) squeaked.  “Who did you tell then?”

Beverly winced, and glanced over to Bill where he was playing Pac-Man.

“Bill?” (y/n) groaned.  “That’s just as fucking bad! He’s Richie’s best friend-”

“So?”

“So,” (y/n) stressed the word.  “He probably told Richie”

“So?” Bev repeated.  “Is that so bad?”

(y/n) blinked, and that was enough of an answer.

“Come on.  He’s been flirting with you all year, and he’s been all over you tonight.  You’re loving it”

“I’m not”

“Well I didn’t exactly see you pushing him away,” Beverly said with a smirk.  “(y/n/n), I know you, and I love you.  If you didn’t want his hands on you then you would’ve punched him in the face-”

“Okay okayokayokay” (y/n) shut her eyes and shook her head before Beverly could say anything else that would embarrass her.

“Just go bang one out” Mike said simply.

(y/n) sputtered, and she swore she could’ve died right there.  Right on the skee-ball ramp.  It was a pitiful way to go, sure, but at least she’d get out of this conversation.

Beverly was giggling, but only because it was strange to hear Mike say something so… vulgar.  

“Go on.  We’ll leave you alone,” She told her friend, pushing her slightly towards the Street Fighter machine.  “And have fun” She murmured in a low voice, giving (y/n) a wink before going back to skee-ball.

As (y/n) made her way back to Richie, she mulled over her options.

Beverly… wasn’t wrong.  She did like the attention, the touching, the pet name… she got a little lost in thought as she recalled the events of her dream and what happened at the table.

Richie did have a nice looking face… and… body…

“What took you so fucking long?”

Her brows drew together as she stared at the boy for a moment.

She wondered if he was as good of a kisser as she’d dreamed him up to be.  And she certainly would like to find out.  But she wasn’t 100% sure that he even knew about it.  He might’ve just been messing with her just for the sake of it.

“I was talking to Bev,” Her answer was delayed, and she shrugged a shoulder.  “You didn’t have to wait up for me”

“Had to make sure some punk kid wouldn’t hog the game,” Richie said, putting his quarter in.  “That one over there was eyeing it for a while”

(y/n) slid her quarter into the slot before glancing over to where he gestured.

“Richie,” She giggled, “That kid looks like he’s six years old-”

“Yeah, a six year old that’s gonna try and beat my score” He said, looking over at her seriously, except for the smile on his face.

He was very close, the game wasn’t that big so they were already standing side by side to play together.

She quickly and bashfully turned her head away, picking her character on the screen.

“Are you gonna keep staring at me or are you going to choose your fighter?” She asked, and it took every ounce of confidence in her to glance up at him, raising a brow.

He smirked at her, before turning his attention to the game, and choosing his fighter.

The first round was over fast, because (y/n) had started it early and beat him quicker than he’d ever been beaten before.  He called her a cheater, but she told him she was just practicing her trade.

“Your trade?” Richie repeated.  “This is my game”

“Maybe not anymore” She said playfully with a shrug, and landed a few punches on his character.  

Richie just laughed, and beat her in seconds.  He let out a victorious laugh, and she narrowed her eyes at him.  He returned the look, and then continued on to round three.

“Want to put a little wager on this one?” He asked, in a tone that made goosebumps crawl over her skin.  “Since we’re tied”

“What kind of wager?” She asked, and then cursed when her fighter got knocked down.

“Like… if you win, I’ll do your chem homework for a week” He suggested.

“And if you win?” She asked.

“Then you have to fess up to why you’ve been dodging me all week”

(y/n) thought for a moment, losing her focus on the game as she weighed her options.

“Do my homework for two weeks” She bargained.

“Fine,” Richie shrugged.  “You’ve got a deal, baby”

And there was that word again.  And made her stomach drop and her heart beat a little harder in her chest.

She had to win this round.  There was no way she could look Richie in the eyes and lie to him without him catching her, and there was definitely no way she could tell him about-

Oh no.

The machine made a little depressing tune as her character was knocked out, and Richie beat her.

Oh no.  No no no no no.

“I win” He said, like she didn’t already know, and give her a big grin.

She stared at the screen a minute longer, in denial that she’d really lost that fast.  And when it faded to black, and then to the Start Game page, she knew her fate was sealed.  When she looked up at Richie, he was still grinning, and tugged on her arm so she’d walk with him.

“Come on, I’ll beat you at skee-ball too”

She was grateful that he at least didn’t cash in on what she owed him right away.  But maybe if he already knew the reason, then he was smart enough not to ask her about it while they were still in public.

She tried to calm her nerves, even her breathing and ignore the rapid beating of her heart while they played their next game.  But she was so goddamn anxious that she was failing to get any of the balls into the rings, and they all slid up the ramp and into the pit.

“(y/n), I don’t mean to be cruel,” Richie spoke when he finished his game next to her, because he’d actually played it.  “But you really suck at this”

She laughed shyly, shaking her head and picking up her fourth skee-ball.  He could see her hands were shaking as she rolled it up the ramp and it plopped right into the pit again.

“Alright, this is pitiful, you’re breaking my heart” Richie chuckled, and walked over to help her out.

He came to stand right behind her, close enough that she could feel his chest against her back.

“Alright, first of all, take a deep breath,” He said into her ear.  His hands smoothed down her arms slowly, calming her a little bit.  “Why are you so tense, baby?” His voice dropped to a whisper.

She almost pushed him away, starting to feel too hot.  But she liked his closeness too much to shove him off, so she didn’t say anything.

“It’s not that hard,” Richie said, grabbing her next ball, and placing it in her hand.  “You’re just not swinging hard enough, and your release is too early”

He could see her swallow while he whispered the instructions into her ear.

“Got it?” He hummed, and she nodded.

One of his hands slid around her waist, the other taking her wrist and swinging with her so it would roll up the ramp, and into the ring.  300 points wasn’t all that much considering the high score was 10,000, but it was her first win, so she cheered quietly anyways.

Richie found it adorable, and then they went through the motions again, until she was out of balls, and actually had some points.

She turned around in his arms, a proud smile on her face that softened when she looked up at him.

As soon as her eyes met his, she lost any sense of what she was going to say, and she was just standing there, staring at him, silently.

(minus her heart, which she was so certain was going to burst out of her chest any minute now)

Her eyes wandered down to his lips, and she subconsciously set her hands on his arms for support.  He was still loosely holding her waist, and just watching her with amusement while she debated kissing him right now.

Richie could almost see the gears in her head turning as she thought about it.

And suddenly, she cleared her throat, and side stepped out of his hold.

“I’m gonna- um- go buy a uh… a soda.  Yeah, a soda” She coughed and walked off before he could have the chance to say anything.

She made a bee-line for the counter, grabbing Beverly by the arm on her way, and making her walk with her.

“Woah, slow down,” Beverly said, stalling in her steps so they could walk at a normal pace.  “Are you freaking out again?”

“Yes, I am clearly freaking out again!” (y/n) seethed.  “Help me Bev, I need your help” She added in a quieter whiny voice.

“I don’t understand why this is so hard for you,” Beverly said, rubbing her friend’s back as they walked up to the concessions counter.  “You like him, he’s clearly showing an interest in you, it’s not rocket science”

“But I- I don’t know if I like him like that” (y/n) whispered.

“You want to bone him?” Beverly asked, with no care for the volume of her voice.p

(y/n) shrugged as she thought about it, but ultimately nodded her head.

“Yeah I- I guess-”

“No, sweetheart, you already know,” Beverly said with a small giggle.  “And… you enjoy his company?”

“Yeah, I always have”

“And you think he’s nice? And funny?”

“Of course-”

“You like him” Beverly told her nonchalantly.

“But I-”

“If you think he’s genuinely funny, then honey, you’re already in deep for him,” Beverly said genuinely.  “Besides.  You check him out a lot.  I’ve seen it”

“I do not…” (y/n) tried to deny, but as she thought about it… “Oh my god I do…”

The red head laughed again while (y/n) paid for her drink in a trance.

“You do,” She confirmed.  “So stop stalling and just go get it fucking over with!” Beverly said, and took off to play games with Mike and Bill.

(y/n) sighed, being left alone at the counter.

Her eyes caught Richie’s, while he was talking to Bill.  He smirked at her for a minute before saying something to Bill, and walking up to her.

“Better?” He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as he eyed the drink in her hands.  “You took off real fast there”

“I- was really thirsty” She answered lamely.  But it amused Richie, because he let out a laugh and his smirk was back on his face.

“Right,” He hummed.  “So you weren’t just avoiding me again?”

She could feel her face and neck go hot as she shook her head.

“Well good,” His smirk turned into a smile.  “I don’t like when you do that”

Her brow furrowed, and her head tilted to the side.

“Richie, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make her embarrassment flare up.  “I was only…”

“What?” He mused, patiently but eagerly waiting for her answer.

Her mouth opened, but his eyes were staring so intensely into hers that she got nervous again and shook her head.

“Nothing,” She sighed helplessly.  “It’s nothing”

Richie hummed, and then he smacked his lips and looked around.

“I need a smoke,” He told her.  “When you’re ready, you know where I’ll be”

He raised his brows for a moment, and then left the arcade.

(y/n) sighed, watching him leave.

She couldn’t believe that this was so hard for her.  But the embarrassment kept weight down on her shoulders and confusing her.  She didn’t know what she wanted to do.

What she did know, was that she really wanted Richie.

So she gathered what little courage she had, and followed him outside.

The smoking area was really just an alley between the arcade and the bar, with a large trash can topped with an ashtray.  At least her and Richie were the only ones out there, so she didn’t have to make a fool of herself in front of an audience.

Richie had just pulled out his cigarette, and almost lit it when she came out the door.  He was surprised she’d come so soon, or at all really.  He thought maybe she’d sneak out and go home, and avoid him the rest of their lives, but here she was.

“I was embarrassed,” She announced, and took a deep breath right away.  “That’s why I was avoiding you, I’m sorry”

Richie smirked, and stuck his cigarette back into the box.

“Apology accepted,” He told her, and walked up to her, until her back hit the brick wall of the bar next door.  

Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned ever so closer, towering over her with that dumb smirk still on his lips.  Her eyes flickered between his quickly.

“Wh-what’re you doing?” She stammered.

“Just waiting for you to tell me the rest, baby,” Richie said expectantly.  “You know, the good parts”

“The good parts?” She repeated, breathless from her shallow breathing.

“Yeah,” He said.  “The part about you having a dream about me, you know, the one that sounded really hot?”

“I- I don’t-”

“Bill already told me,” Richie said before she could make an excuse to get out of it.  “So which is it, was I so good that you were too nervous to look at me, or were you just scared that it wouldn’t live up to your expectations?”

“Richie,” (y/n) breathed, and her eyes fell shut so that she didn’t have to look at his taunting face anymore.  “I-”

“Listen,” He murmured, and leaned in closer until his lips brushed the shell of her ear.  “I promise I won’t disappoint, baby,”

She let out a sigh, despite trying to hold it back.

“You’ve got a bit of a kink for that don’t you?” He teased, pulling back just enough to look at her.  She was biting down on her lip, and he could see her chest moving with every deep breath she took.  “That’s kinda hot”

One of his hands held tightly onto her waist, while the other trailed up her arm, over her shoulder, and then slid behind her neck.

“Richie-” She mumbled, her nerves choking her up again.

“Tell me to stop,” He said softly, in the sweetest tone of voice she’d heard from him all night.  “And I will”

She swallowed thickly, and then gently shook her head.

“Please don’t” She whispered back, a small smile playing on her lips.

And that was all he needed to hear before crashing his lips down against hers so hard that she was shoved back into the wall.

(y/n) wasted no time in throwing her arms around his neck to pull him closer, hungrily kissing him back, like it was the end of the world and this was her only chance.  Her hands cupped his face, and then dove into his hair, and then held tightly to his shoulders- she couldn’t stop touching him.

This was hardly her first time making out with someone- but it was certainly the first time where she felt like she just couldn’t get enough.

Without warning, his hands reached down to wrap under her thighs, and without breaking their lips he managed to lift her right up and shove her right into the wall again.  She gasped at the impact, and Richie only took it as an invitation to shove his tongue haphazardly into her mouth.

They slowed down at their tongues tangled and he leisurely explored her mouth, and then did it again, as though mapping it to memory.

When his lips trailed along her jaw, leaving short wet kisses over every inch of skin he passed, (y/n’s) eyes fluttered open, looking up at the stars while he was busy marking her neck.  Sucking and nipping at her sensitive skin and eliciting delightful little whimpers.

He smirked against her neck, and pulled away to look at her.

She was a mess, a hot mess if he did say so himself.  Her hair in tangles and pushed all over the place, her lips swollen and eyes half lidded with lust as she looked back at him.

He set her down, but still held tightly to her hips so her legs wouldn’t buckle underneath her.  She staggered only for a moment before he caught her balance.

“Why’d you stop?” She mumbled, already pulling his lips towards hers.

He had to chuckle at her desperation, but he only gave her a short kiss.

“I had to look at you,” He told her when he pulled back much too soon for her liking.  “Baby” He added, almost as an afterthought.

“You’re going to have to stop calling me that in front of our friends” She told him seriously, but her volume was low, almost a whisper.

“Why’s that?” Richie asked playfully, pushing her strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear.

“Because I’m gonna want to kiss your face everytime you do it”

He smirked at her, and she reached up to kiss him quickly.

“Why not, then?” He mused, and she pulled back, brow furrowing.

“Because…” She said slowly.  “I don’t think our friends would like that we’re… um…” She licked her lips as she tried to find the right words.

“You don’t think our friends would like you to be my girlfriend?”

“G-girlfriend?” (y/n) choked on the word, and Richie laughed softly.

She hadn’t thought that this was heading that way at all.

“Y-you want me to be your girlfriend?” She asked quietly.  “You don’t just wanna… like… mess around?”

“I don’t see why we can’t do both, that sounds pretty fucking good to me,” Richie said with a lazy sort of grin.  “What do you think?”

She smiled back at him, nodding excitedly as her hands reached up to lay across his cheekbones.

“Yeah?” He asked, and she kept nodding.

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good,” She hummed.  “Really good” She added before pulling him in and kissing him patiently.

“So,” Richie sighed, “What else happened in this dream of yours?”

It was finally her turn to smirk at him.

___

xoxo ~ jordie

[buckysbitch107]

I don’t know if requests are open, but if they are can I request a Steve Rogers x Reader where at the end of end game he goes back to his lover from the 40s but instead of Peggy it’s the reader(include any backstory that you want)? Like even his compass contains the picture of the reader and not Peggy. I love your wring so far btw, keep up the good work!!!

Home Isn’t Just A Place | Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: When Colonel Phillips himself delivered the letter stating the love of your life (and best friend since 5 years old) was dead, you were more than devastated. You were still mourning the loss of your fiancé, mindlessly fiddling with the ring on your finger, when a much harsher knock rang at your door. You expected it to be perhaps your sister or a delivery boy. What you certainly didn’t expect was for your fiancé, who you were told was dead, to be standing at your doorstep.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Crying

Word Count: 2.38K

A/N: Hope this meets your standards! I tried my best with this one and i hope you enjoy it! Just a reminder that I will always be accepting requests! I will be writing a Part 2 to this, so stay tuned!

“It’s fine guys! I can cook something in the apartment!” You speak, the men on either side of you giving you a small glare.

“It’s our last night, (Y/N/N). We wanna make it special before you’re alone in the apartment.” Steve mentions, wrapping his arm around your waist. You’re still taller than him, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“That restaurant isn’t that good anyway.” You whisper, trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice. You’d been looking forward to sitting in that restaurant since it opened, and when Bucky and Steve said they were taking you, that meant you could finally get a chance. That is, until you got there, and they didn’t have your reservation.

“Doll-” Bucky starts, soon being cut off by your voice.

“Guys. It’s fine, really.”

“No, it’s not (Y/N)! We wanted to treat you to something special, and now it looks like we’re having cabbage fuckin’ stew for dinner… again.”

“Or,” You pause, lifting your arm to point at the sign hanging off of the corner store at the end of the street. “We could get some food from Stan’s. It’s still open and we have enough money for some hot dogs.” The two men agree shortly after and the three of you quicken your pace, eager to get some food in your stomach. The small bell above the door rings through the air as the three of you walk in, the owner walking out from the back.

“Steve, Bucky, (Y/N)! Nice to see ya! What can I get for you?” Stan asks, his smile always bringing comfort to you three.

“Three hot dogs and three cokes please!” You respond, offering him a small smile yourself. He nods and taps some button on the register, pulling the crank before turning his head back up to you.

“Thirty cents please.” You start digging in your wallet when a hand stops you, and your head snaps to meet Steve’s eyes before he starts digging in his own wallet. He hands the man 30 cents before discreetly grabbing your hand, a small chuckle leaving your lips. Stan walks to the back and returns with three hot dogs in hand. He sets them down on the counter before reaching in the fridge and pulling out the drinks. You take them and thank him before walking out the door, Steve and Bucky following you out with their own.

“Let’s go to the docks! Watch the lights in the city!” You propose, turning back to face the two men. They agree and you all walk down to the docks, finishing your food and drinks shortly after getting there.

“Sorry, it had to end like this, (Y/N/N).”

“Meh, I liked this ending better. At least this way I can say fuck.” You giggle, turning back to look at your boyfriend. A soft melody fills your ears and you search for the source of the music. You soon find it as a band plays at an oceanside restaurant, where people are probably dining on the finest steaks and champagne, but you’re happy right where you are. Steve’s hand grabs yours and he smiles, both of his hands wrapping around your waist.

“Dance with me, doll.” You nod before placing your hands around his shoulders, the two of you slightly swaying to the music. Bucky lets out a short laugh before leaning against a lamppost. Steve grabs your hand and spins you around, the blue dress flying up around your waist as he twirls you in his arms. Your eyes drift closed as he continues to spin you, a laugh bubbling out of your mouth, and you finish turning and open your eyes to see Steve on one knee.

“Oh.” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth and you see Bucky smiling out of the corner of your eye as Steve pulls out a ring.

“I know, I know it isn’t much, but it’s what we could afford.”

“Wha-Whe-How?” You whisper.

“Well, we saved up for a bit.”

“I think you’re supposed to give a speech now, Stevie.” Bucky comments. 

“I’m getting there!” Steve responds, making you let out a hoarse laugh before you start choking on your sobs. “Doll, you are the best thing to ever happen to me, Buck being a close second. You’ve always been there for me when I’m sick, which is a lot. I wanna be with you forever. I want to have kids with you, I want to give you the best white-picket-fence life I can. I swear to love you for the rest of our lives, if you’ll be mine. What do ya say doll?” By this time, your hands have migrated from your mouth to your chest, and you wipe your eyes while nodding your head, choking out a short “yes” before Steve slides the ring on your finger. As he stands up, you begin to cry harder as you pull him into a bear hug. He pulls away and you place both hands on his shoulders, looking at him sternly.

“You better come back to me, you hear me?”

“I promise I will, doll.”

“No, I need better than a promise.”

“I swear on my life, dollface. Besides, I wouldn’t leave my best girl behind.”

~~~

You’ve seen all the adverts and movies about the one and only Captain America. People see him as a hero, as the man who punches Nazis straight in the face and kisses babies, but you still see him as the little guy from Brooklyn who couldn’t run the mile from fourth grade on. Yes, you missed your fiance very much, but you had faith that he would keep his promise and come home after the war. A few months after Bucky and Steve left, you picked up a waitressing job in a mom-and-pop diner on the weekends and weeknights alongside your job as a science teacher. Bills aren’t going to pay themselves, and Bucky and Steve aren’t here to help you. You walk in the door, returning home from your morning shift at the diner, planning on quickly changing clothes before running out and volunteering at the animal shelter, something you always did on Saturdays. You throw on a simple dress, the pale yellow glowing in the sunlight streaming in from the window. Your plans suddenly change when a knock rings at your door.

“One second!” You yell, finishing pulling up the zipper on the back of your dress before walking over to the door, opening it to see Colonel Phillips himself. “Colonel Phillips.”

“Miss (Y/L/N). May I come in?” He asks, the solemn look on his face causing an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

“Of course, sir.” You open the door a little bit wider and he enters the apartment.

“You may want to sit.” You follow his instructions and sit yourself down at the kitchen table, now noticing the letter in his hands. “I wrote it all out on paper, but I also figured I should tell you in person.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the ice to save the lives of millions of people yesterday morning. I would have gotten here earlier but there were some complications with the plane.”

“No.” You mumble, standing up to directly face the colonel.

“He has been declared Killed in Action, along with James Barnes.” Your head snaps up at his comment, tears already pooling in your eyes.

“What-what do you mean they’ve both been killed in action? What-” A sob rising in the back of your throat cuts you off and you have to steady yourself against the table. Phillips places the letter on the table as you try to quiet your sobs. He quietly nods his head before turning to the door, about to step out when you choke out a short “wait”. Colonel Phillips turns around as you compose yourself, wiping the tears off your face.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Am I allowed to give you a hug?”

“Yes ma’am.” You wrap your arms around him and place your head on his shoulder, the colonel hugging you back shortly after. The two of you pull away and you whisper a small “thank you sir” before he nods and walks out the door. You turn around and grab the letter, ripping it open before focusing on the words carefully typed on the page:

Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

437 West Clermont Street

Brooklyn, New York, USA

11201

I regret to inform you that both Captain Steven Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes have been killed in action in service of their country. As you know, Captain Rogers freed over 200 men across enemy lines in Azzano, Italy. He then formed a squadron, the Howling Commandos. That squadron took down more enemy bases than any other in history. It is with deepest condolences that we regret to inform you than on Saturday, February 19th, Sergeant James Barnes fell out of a moving train while defending Captain Rogers. On Friday, February 25th, Captain Rogers crashed a plane into the Arctic in order to save over three million lives from nuclear bombings. Not only has America lost a soldier, America has also lost a hero.

Deepest regards,

Colonel Chester Phillips

A loud sob erupts from your mouth as you throw the letter on the table, your hands quickly covering your mouth.

“No. Nonononono, they can’t be dead. I can’t- I can’t do this alone.” You back up against the wall, slowly sliding down as your fingers thread through your hair. It’s only when you look back at the ring on your finger that your tears of pain turn to those of anger. “YOU PROMISED!” You scream, not giving a damn if the neighbors can hear you. Your head falls into your hands as you curl up into a ball, your sobs echoing through the now eerily empty house.

“You promised.

~~~

It was a nice funeral. A lot of people you knew were there. Dum-Dum, Gabe, Jim, and Monty came, while Jaques sent his condolences. It was small, but Steve would have liked it. Yeah, you sobbed, but so did everyone else. You sit numbly in your house, the walls no longer filled with laughter, the floors no longer covered in flour and paint, now only scuff marks from your pacing panic attacks. You’re mindlessly fiddling with your ring when a knock sounds at your door, this one sounding louder and overall harsher than the other ones you’d been experiencing for the past week. You stand up and walk over, not caring to check the peephole before opening it. And standing there, is the man you were told crashed a plane into the arctic.

“Wha-”

“Hi, doll.” You slowly start shaking your head before walking away from the door, simply leaving it open.

“No, no. Nonono. You crashed a plane into the arctic. Your signal went dead. You were presumed dead! I’m going mad, I’ve gone absolutely bonkers and now I’m imagining the love of my life is in my living room when he’s buried somewhere in the Arctic!” You rant to yourself, tears slowly gathering in your eyes. You stop when Steve puts both hands on your shoulders, stabilizing you and forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“God, is this what happened after I crashed?” He mumbles, looking up and down at your frantic form. Your clothes have become a little looser, your hair a little thinner, the bags under your eyes just a bit more noticeable. But that’s not the only thing that’s changed. You look at Steve and notice he looks… different. He looks older and more exhausted.

“You aren’t my Steve?”

“Sit down doll, I have a lot of explaining to do.”

~~~

“So you’re from-”

“Yeah.”

“But you still-”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m still-”

“Yep.”

“But wouldn’t this-”

“Nope.”

“Huh. And this Thanos dude he-”

“Eliminated 50% of all living beings. Yes.”

“And you’re back here because you’re delivering the stones back to their original places in time and wanted to see me?”

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Huh. Okay.”

“So, can I have this dance?” He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You smile and take it, the man pulling you into him. You notice as the two of you start swaying that he’s suddenly more relaxed, and that he’s definitely gotten more muscular over the years. You dance for a little while longer before he tilts your chin up, meeting your lips for a gentle kiss. “God I missed you doll.”

“I missed you too.” The two of you stay silent a little longer before he pulls back slightly, a serious look on his face. Uh oh.

“Come back with me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Come back with me. To 2023.”

“Stevie, I can’t. I have so many responsibilities, and it could mess up the timeline and-”

“Nope. Already checked with the Ancient One. Said it should be fine as long as no one knows about it.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, you can meet my friends, and we can finally get married, and Bucky will-”

“Wait what? Bucky’s alive?”

“Oh yeah, he was captured by HYDRA but we got him back.”

“You’re gonna need to catch me up on everything.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Fine. I’ll come with you, but if I throw up it’s your fault.”

“Deal.”

~~~

“I’m trying to bring him back!” Banner yells, flicking switches and pressing buttons on the dash. Bucky bites at his cuticles, something he does when he’s nervous, also something you used to yell at him for. The launchpad starts whirring again and both Bucky and Sam’s heads shoot up at the noise, not familiar with it at all.

“Um, is that supposed to happen?” Sam asks.

“Only when there’s more than one body being transported.” Banner mumbles, pressing a few more buttons. “Okay. Bringing him back in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

“AH-oomph.” Bucky’s eyes widen as his brain registers the yellow dress, the sparkling eyes, the dazzling smile.

“(Y/N)?!” He yells, giving both you and Steve a confused look. You sit up on the launchpad and look around, not familiar with any of your surroundings.

“Hiya Buck! Oooh, love the hair! Nice to see it change from the ol’ buzzcut.”

Permanent Tags: @wintersoldierslut​ @breakmy-bedbarnes@stuckys-hot-dogs​ @andreasworlsboring101 @yaxamarvel @donutloverxo

Just a reminder that all requests are open! My masterlist is in my bio, so you guys know who I specialize in, but really I do anyone y’all request. As I’ve mentioned, nothing is too fluffy, angsty, smutty, or gorey for me. I mainly write Marvel and its characters/actors. I can also write some characters from other things, you just have to ask! Also please let me know if you want to be a part of the Permanent Tags! But please, for now,

Call me Emily

[aveys6]

little wip

how richie's health changes in relation to his relationship w eddie

* the dialogue is rough bc i intend on actually putting it into structured sentences in ao3, bare w me

age 13 - 1989

"sorry guys, cant hang today. i have a hot appointment scheduled with dr noelle" he lifted his eyebrows and shit to insuate prostitution

"so, what, you have a physical?" stan said unimpressed

"that's the techinical term, stanny, but we all know better. i cant wait to have her hot bod all over me on the examination table-"

a chorus of dismissal waves around him, and eddie elbows his upper arm. stan even mutters something about 'examination' being quite a big word for richie to use.

"i bet theyre gonna test you for HIV. or maybe you'll get diagnosed with lung cancer from all of those cigarettes you've been smoking. *insert fact about smoking here that was probably exaggerated*"

"oh yeah? and where'd you hear that? your mommy?" richie challenged, ignoring eddies mention of the 'queer disease'

"ill have you know, dipwad, that my mom is highly educated in the field of medicine. cigarettes are insanely addictive-"

rich cuts him off and mocks with a nasally voice

"according to my calculations, cigarettes have roughly 236 chemicals in them-"

"thats basically true!"

"you guys are infuriating, but im pretty sure eddie's right on this one"

"thank you stan!"

"my mom says its fine because im young"

"im pretty sure she said that in reference to your junk food intake which you should also cut back on-"

"anyway," rich cuts in "im 100% sure everything will go completely fine. my doctor will be swayed by my irresistible charm to which she will then add a couple inches to my heigh chart so i can officially be 5'4 and make fun of you all"

eddie was determined not to smile, his quivering lips miraculously staying straight and expressionless "thats not how it works and you know it"

"not with that attitude!" noogie on eds

"fuckin quit it!"

-

his heel was practically slapping the waiting room floor, eyes flittering over childish paintings of sea creatures on the walls.

eddies irrational-but-not-quite-irrational rants finally processed in his mind.

richie never liked worrying his friend. he knew the boy's mom was a nutjob and said as such often (as well as vocalized his extreme desire to 'love her up'). he knew eddie was basically brainwashed.

it was scary, having someone worry about you. it means they cared. richie never truly comprehended why they cared. why eddie specifically cared. but it also felt good to have someone worry about him, outside of his mother, who, speaking of, gently placed a hand on his knee to stop its incessant movement.

richie wasnt the prime of schoolgirl crushes. he looked a little buggish: big eyes, thin limbs- clumsy and annoying. he wondered why eddie of all people gave him the time of day, and sometimes even more than that.

"richie toe-zee-air?"

the pair stood up despite mispronunciation.

-

richie was more than delighted to announce that his appointment was flawlessly average. everyone knows the deal: lie about how many fruits and veggies you consume, exaggerate how early you go to bed, deflect when the doctor asks if you've experienced any romantic or sexual attraction, count the inches of a growth spurt- no biggie.

"im sorry for, like, berating you earlier. i dont like doctors."

"i would hardly call what you did berating eds. it was your normal amount of neuroticism. dont sweat it"

there was a pause

eddie breaks the silence "i just worry sometimes"

ah, so it was confirmed.

"i know you do, eds."

-

"how do you know the word neuroticism?"

"heard my dad say it."

--------

age 25 - 2001

richie was back to tapping his foot on the linoleum of a waiting room. this time, alone, with no one to calm his fire-y energy. its not like he wanted the tapping to stop anyway. the repetitive motion helped ease the anticipation of getting scolded for letting himself go. this time not by a boy he couldnt catch the name of, but by a licensed professional.

he reasoned that he would rather hear it from the boy. what the hell was that shit bag's name?

this was the first appointment he had attended and organized since his pediatrician refused another after his 22nd birthday. she was already stretching the age limit of which he could visit (said extension curtesy of his dad being friends with medicinal people).

he figured it was time to move on with his life once snotty kids started giving him weird looks for fidgeting with the baby toys displayed near check-in. what says being an adult more than scheduling your own health appointments? richie answers that question by saying 'having to pay for them'.

richie's silent complaints are interrupted by a soft knock. a very typical, white-haired, doctor you'd see in movie, type of dude sauntered in.

"mr tozier, im dr sigman, how're we doin'?" he said, pumping obscene amounts of hand sanitizer.

richie replied automatically, "i'm doing pretty well, doc', how are you?"

as one can tell by the excruciatingly boring small talk, richie seemed to have lost his most palatable edge: quirky socialization.

"eh, my condition is not what's important here. how about you sit up on this here table and we can listen to your heart and lungs."

richie followed the instruction, heart rate increasing accordingly. the paper on the bench-table-thing crinkled far too loudly to be acceptable. maybe he was hungover. it would explain the heightened senses.

"so, according to your medical records, tozier, you haven't had an annual physical since- uh..." the man scanned his clipboard, "1998, correct?"

"that is correct, sir" his ears were aflame.

"mkay. you eat healthy?"

okay, then, they were getting right into it

"as healthy as i can, sir" what kind of fuckin answer was that?

dr sigman grimaced a bit, clearly knowing richies response meant his patient ate an apple every month or so to throw his body for a loop or, rather, 'reset' the ol' immune system. a shallow try at 'taking back your life' like some tabloid bullshit.

"you have a stable sleep schedule?"

richie shrugged with an "i guess" that conveyed that his average hours of sleep per night were as dreadful as his attempt at a balanced food pyramid plate.

"smoke or drink?"

now thats the million dollar question

[hoochy-coo]

If he gets exposed stepping out it’s the best thing that could happen to them cuz finally some good fuckin food

And then the stans are gonna have to fight amongst themselves to defend him or hold him accountable lmao

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S2 EPISODE 10 RECAP!

This was an interesting one! Definitely gave me more space and stuff to be able to question Akito’s motives a bit more. And it had a glorious ending!

Let’s gooo!

------------------------------------------

Cute! <3

Another cute moment! Such a great group shot :)

- Lol that background convo that Yuki, Kisa, Hiro and Haru were having about Mogeta and them debating whether it was a mystery, adventure or romance pretty much reminds me of every time I try to explain furuba to newbies. I’d probably automatically go for romance cos kyoru is always my first thought when it comes to this anime, I can’t help myself.

- The convo between Kyo and Momiji about whether leaving Tohru behind was beneficial to Tohru or not was interesting, especially when you attach it to Momiji’s later actions in the episode. But, I also wish they sat Tohru down and explained to her how dangerous Akito was instead of just keeping a happy pretence (this anime is full of people putting on brave faces for people and it’s kinda grating on me a bit, if I’m being fully honest). BUT, then again, I guess that’s a side effect of the curse and their cursed loyalty to Akito.

FALLING IN LOVE

FALLING IN LOVE

FALLING IN LOOOOOVVVVEEEE 💖🎶

Anyways... Momiji and Kyo moments? Yussss

- I know that Tohru wouldn’t be Tohru if she wasn’t always so self-sacrificially giving but... I just want her to care for herself! PLEASE.

I love the colour grading/tone of this scene.

*sigh* but I guess... I do like the fact that Shigure seems to be pissing Akito off... for some reason 👀.... 

Also, that hint at Ren? ooo la...

*insert X-Files theme song*

After the beach arc ends, I really hope this is the last we get of Akito being presented by the animators as the evilest of evils because I’m personally getting to the point where I just wanna understand what’s Akito’s fuckin deal instead of just saying I hate them every week haha

- Momiji really is the Best Boi of this whole beach arc cos of this episode. He REALLY tried to rationally calm down Akito as well as try and protect Tohru at the same time. And even though it didn’t work out for the best, I definitely think he had the best approach in protecting Tohru. Best bunny. 🥺

Oh wow. That... was a... punch... 😣 (I always thought Akito slapped Momiji in the manga but either way: booooo 👎🏾)

- I find it fascinating that Akito uses words like ‘save’ and ‘help’ for Tohru’s actions even though they find her ‘monstrous’... Maybe it’s a translation thing. 

But all this time, I’ve been trying to work out whether:

Akito is being petty when it comes to Tohru 

Akito truly believes that they are the villain of the story or

Akito believes the zodiac curse is as it should be and nothing should disturb that. 

Maybe it’s a collection of all three. But for the most part, I’m gonna go with the third option. However, I do wonder why they are so insistent on everything being as it should be even though it’s limiting and inconvenient for everyone, including Akito themselves... 

I’m just gonna leave it at that otherwise I’ll start going into spoilers lol

Even though I have a grand dislike for Akito, I gotta admit...

Akito finally being revealed as the personification of ‘God’ was pretty badass.

Still terrible.

Also, how sharp must your nails be to scratch someone that deep? Lol

- I love the fact that Haru had to hold Kyo back from fucking Akito up but then it becomes sad when you realise that even if he was let loose he probably wouldn’t be able to really hurt Akito because of the curse...

As always Tohru’s ethereal goddess energy is protected by the dawning of another day :)

Head bumps! <3 I’m curious to see what Momiji/Tohru shipping content comes out after this episode! While I don’t personally ship it, I’m interested in what people like about this ship! I can’t help but always see their relationship as a ‘big sis, little bro’ dynamic but this is an interesting ship.

- Lol wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a snake firework in real life and this wasn’t a great introduction haha

Baby Kyo!!!! <3 (still lowkey asking for that Kyo and Kazuma mini-series)

- I like that Kyo asked Tohru about her and her mum using fireworks cos she probably still feltawkwardabouttalkingabouthermadreandI’m-

...I’m love.

I’m not making any promises to not screencap every smile that Kyo directs at Tohru from now on. Once again, I can’t help myself.

HARU! 🤣

I love it when my favourite angry bois who should stereotypically be delinquents are actually sticklers for the rules and ‘safety first’! Hi, Bakugou!

- Rin playing Black Widow and sneaking around in the shadows, trying to bring the establishment down from the inside. We stan.

YaaaaaaaAAASSS, BITCH! TEAR IT DOWN WITH KINDNESS.

- Momiji meowing to get attention is so embarrassingly me, I can’t haha

The pettiness. I live for petty Yuki! I’m so glad we’re getting more of this side of him. But also, I love that he kinda acknowledged that Kyo obviously is in adoration of Tohru but that isn’t gonna stop him from setting some jabs directed towards Kyo 🤣

What a pretty ending to an emotional rollercoaster of a chapter :)

-----------------------------------------

This was a good one! I don’t feel like my emotions and thoughts towards Akito are defined yet and I feel like I might have more questions than I ever did 10 years ago but I’m excited! 

Also, a bit of food for thought... how would you guys feel about a live action Fruits Basket? Out of all of the anime I watch, I feel like this would be the most easy to adapt and the most exciting to see whom would be cast as who so I’m for it!

See you next week!!

[lailarain]

Warning: Spoilers for Danganronpa: The End of Hope's Peak High School:Despair Arc

(I'm watching for the first time)

We're back at it again, guys!

Also, yes, I've realized that I porbably should've watched Danganronpa 2.5 first, but I'll do that after Despair Arc

Episode 1:

Oh it's ponytail teacher lady🙂

NEW INTRO YEAH BABY

POTHEAD GUY I MISSED YOUUUU

FUYUHIKO, SONIA, MAHIRU, AND HIYOKO THE NOSTALGIAAAAAA

I'm only a few minutes in and I'm already dying of laughter from the dialogue😭

MIKAN I MISSED YOU

This ponytail teacher lady, istg😂😂😂😂😂

THE TEACHER HAS A BLADE WHY DOES THE TEACHER HAVE A BLADE

Okay where is Nagito he's the only reason I'm watching this🙄

"oH goD jUrAsSiC pArK"

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?

NEKOMARUUUU

Isn't that that one pervy chef?

Teruteru, that's pretty gay😀

AKANE HELLOOOOO

Soda the simp has arrived

GUNDHAM YES I MISS YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭

IBUKI MY GIRL

PEKO WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE I MISSED YOUUUU

NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO NAGITO YES

NAGITO'S LAUGH🥺🥺🥺

I fear this teacher😀

Wait....Mitirai...and the Ultimate Imposter......what the fuck is going on

HAJIME IS THAT YOU, MY BELOVED NON-SHAPE-KNOWING BOI

Awwwww he's hurt by what people say🥺

CHIAKI I MISSED YOU

Hajime, you DO have a talent. You're the Ultimate Nagito Magnet

Man, I'm probably not gonna get to see Hajime on screen a lot in this anime😔

Hey blonde bitch how ya doin

Okay we've officially seen the gang! Time for episode 2!

Episode 2:

"They're all good eggs" tell that to killing game nagito lol

Why the fuck are those two always fighting😭

"I'll have you know that we are training in real life combat conditions" "Oh in that case, knock yourself out"

This is why you don't take random glowing bottles from pervert chefs, kids.

NAGITOS JUST SITTING THERE SMILING LMAOOOOOOOO

Hajime looks so uncomfortable that a teacher is trying to have a casual conversation with him😂

Oh are they talking about the Kamakura project?

Gundam playing video games makes me so happy and idk why maybe because I love how dramatic he is lol

You ever like someone so much that when they do something as simple as speak you start freaking out at how awesome they are? Yea that's how I feel about Nagito.

ARE THEY PLAYING MARIO KART?!?!?!

why is the school rumbling GUNDHAM WHAT DID YOU DO

Nagito crying over the food lmaooooo

What did Akane sayyyy😀

NO ONE TOLD ME THIS WAS A HENTAI

WHAT THE FAWK IS GOING ON

Props to Fuyuhiko for being a man and stopping Kazuichi

Istg whatever they pay these voice actors clearly isn't enough

MIKAN WHAT DID YOU SAYYYYY NO ONEE TOLD ME YOU WERE A LESBIAN

I don't even know what to say about Nagito😳

CHIAKI JUST FUCKIN PUNCHED HIM

"I regret nothing"

Nagito's so wholesomely making everyone uncomfortable🥺

Chiaki and Hajime's relationship is soooo wholesome🥰

Episode 3:

Hajime has literally solved the murders of his friends 5 times, and he calls himself average🤨

Why are all the other Reserve Course students blue?

Wait isn't that blondie Fuyuhiko's sister?

Hajime being in the middle of these random girls fighting be like 👁👄👁

Okay I'm kinda scared to ship the green hair girl and Mahiru because they might be siblings

Hard to believe that this girl is my baby boi's sister. At least Fuyuhiko has the dignity to not randomly bully a girl for no reason

Okay I hope the FBI doesn't come to my door if these two are siblings but MAHIRU I SAW YOU BLUSH GIRL I SHIP IT

Thank god fuyuhiko understands that his sister is crazy

Hajime and Chiaki gaming together is so cute🥰

I hope Chiaki didn't just accidentally convince Hajime to do the Kamakura Project😀

The blonde just called her lovesick for Mahiru...I think we got non-related lesbians on our hands

Wait.....THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT SYNDROME MURDER CASE WHAT THE FUCK

Okay I'm kinda starting to feel bad for the blondie

GREEN HAIRED GIRL KILLED HER HOLY FUCK THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

Wait...if the green-haired girl didn't kill her...then who did?

Woah....why is the green-haired girl acting like that🤨

WAIT GREEN HAIR GIRL IS DEAD WHAT

Is this really how people normally treat Reserve Course Students? The discrimination is so unfair.

HOW DARE THIS BASTARD TOUCH MY PRECIOUS HAJIME😤

Oh so they're on a mission

Omfg Hajime don't you DARE think you're nothing and agree to be a lab rat I swear

FUCK NO HE AGREED

I am so close to crying rn😀

How's Chiaki gonna react to this😔

Episode 4:

Chiaki is sad aww🥺

Okay Nagito looking serious is NEVER a good sign

SHIT NAGITO FROWNED THAT'S NOT GOOD

Komaeda is so polite😌

Nagito.....what is Plan B😀

WHITE-HAIRED GIRL HOW YOU DOIN😁

Oh its other blonde boy and peach-haired bitch

WELL CLEARLY NAGITO'S LUCK AIN'T SHIT

HOLY SHIT NO😭

WAIT NAGITO SET UP FUCKIN BOMBS?!?! Man, I love my chaotic boi🥰

THEY SWITCHED BAGS TOO?!?!?

This is gonna be a huge shit show, isn't it?

POOR WHITE-HAIR GIRL SHE'S COMPLETELY INNOCENT😭😭😭

What the fawk😀

HOW IS HE SO CALM, JUST LIKE "I don't think that was a laxative😕"

NAGITO'S JUST TALKING BOUT HOW UNLUCKY HE IS WHILE ALL THIS SHIT IS GOING DOWN LMAOOO

WAIT SHE JUST SLAPPED HIM

YES TEACHER LADY YOU TELL HIM HOW FUCKIN AWESOME HE IS

Yay Komaeda won't get expelled😊

WAIT NO DON'T TRANSFER HER I LOVE HER NOOOOO

Uh yeah he did it all for yall 'cause he's fuckin nagito komaeda🤨

WAIT SHE'S GONNA COME BACK?!?!?! HOLY SHIT YES

Episode 5:

Poor Mitirai🥺

yeah, see? This is why I relate to Mitirai. ANIMATION IS FUCKIN MAGICAL.

Thank GOD. I thought we were gonna have to watch the teacher lady suffer😅

Okay I know this is pretty off topic, but where the fuck is Hajime

Of course as soon as I ask that question, they start talking about the Kamakura project😅

Expelled? Bullshit.

Wait NO I WANNA SEE MORE NAGITO🥺🥺🥺

WAIT THOSE ARE THE CHARACTERS FROM THE FIRST GAME

Awww they're so happy to see her how wholesome🥺

"You perfect cinnamon roll" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

SAIONGI WENT THROUGH A GROWTH SPURT HOLY FUCK

Wait Mitirai and......Mitirai? So he IS the ultimate imposter.

"People flake out and let you down, but carbs are always there" - Mitirai. Truer words have never been spoken😢

IT'S JUNKO FUCKIN ENOSHIMA BABY

Right, the killing game hasn't happened yet, so both Mukuro and Junko are alive and well

So, are the ultimate imposter and mitirai sibings?

Mitirai no don't overwork yourself🥺

Did he just....say "I need you"....pick her up.....and give no other context?😀

Poor Mitirai

WAIT MIKAN NO IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE

MAKOTO MY BOY I MISSED YOU

HAJIME IS THAT YOU? YOU LOOK TERRIBLE

Wait...HAJIME NO

HAJIME DON'T YOU DARE

WHAT ABOUT CHIAKI?!?!?!

HAJIME'S EYES ARE RED NOOOOOOO

I'm gonna miss good old Hajime😔

Episode 6:

HAJIME NO TALENTLESS PEOPLE ARE STILL PEOPLE

WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING THIS TO AN INNOCENT HIGH SCHOOLER

It's......Izuru Kamakura😔

Hajime no🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Awww Chiaki misses him

Wait why didn't the teacher just lie and say that Hajime was expelled🤨

I am so close to crying rn😀

Ponytail teacher lady is gonna realize the heartbreaking truth about Hajime, isn't she?😔

Awwww buff guy🥺

That is the weirdest tourture I've ever seen

The sad thing is she doesn't even know that it was Hajime who was made the victim to the project.

Wait why is Kamakura there what's going on

"KAMAKURA KAMAKURA YAS Q U E E N."

CAN MUKURO STOP LETTING JUNKO MAKE FUN OF HER LIKE BITCH YOU ARE AWESOME

Ikuru literally the entire time Junko is talking is basically just: 😑

WAIT HE AGREES WITH JUNKO NO

wait....MITIRAI IS GONNA MEET JUNKO FUCK NO

FUCK NOOOOOO

Okay we're officially halfway through, and I'm super pissed that Nagito is god knows where because he's the ONLY reason I'm watching this

Episode 7:

MITIRAI STOP TALKING TO HER RUN ASAP AHHHHHHHHH

Junko does realize that she basically just triggered every single fan of Danganronpa, right🤨

"aWw lOoK aT hiM trEmBLe hE'S goNnA bUrsT a blOoD veSsEL bEcAuSe I jUsT diSseD hiS wAifUS"

WAIT JUNKO NO DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT

THEY THINK HE'S DEAD LMAOOOOO

NAGITO YES FINALLY

NAGITO WTF PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

Wait so is that the crash site of the what killed his parents🥺

Kazuchi, Teruteru, stop being pervs and shut up please🥰

GUNDHAM YES WE STAN

MITIRAI IS MISSING NO

Istg if they lay a hand on Mikan they bouta lose a hand😀

Poor buff guy🥺

SHIT NO THEY'RE GONNA BRAINWASH HER

Junko's eyes really went ⬆️↗️➡️↘️⬇️↙️⬅️

Wait who tf are these people🤨

Junko what is it with you and killing games😀

Wait she's actually really good at singing😯

Can we get an f in the chat for these poor students

IZURU WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO

THEY'RE SWEEPING IT UNDER THE RUG AGAIN?!?!?!?

So that was his promise😔

It's the cool moving comic thing from the games😯

The Reserve Course students are NOT happy😀

Poor Chiaki still misses him😔

Imagine if she knew HE was the killer

Episode 8:

(So some of my notes were deleted and when I rewrote them they got deleted twice. So I'm just gonna go where I left off.)

NAGITO YES MY BOY I MISSED YOUUUUU

"Who are you" lol

At least CHIAKI is nice to Nagito

YES NAGITO YOU LIFE-SAVER😤

Talk about what🤨

WHY ARE THEY TREATING THESE STUDENTS TO "KNOW THEIR PLACE" ISTG

Okay Nagito what is it with your luck

"Oh we found a secret passage cool😶"

POOR MITIRAI

WAIT NAGITO KNEW?!?!?!?

NAGITO HAS A FUCKIN GUN I REPEAT NAGITO HAS A GUN WHY DOES HE HAVE A GUN

OKAY WHY DOES NAGITO SOUND SO THREATENING ALL OF A SUDDEN

Okay am I crazy or was that interaction between izuru and nagito just now pretty gay?

NAGITO HOLY FUCK NO

OH THANK THE LORD

NAGITO THIS IS NO TIME TO BE A SIMP FOR IZURU

Episode 9:

That....is Hinata😔

WAIT NO DON'T YOU DARE HYPNOTIZE CHIAKI

Teacher lady is gonna be hypnotized, isn't she😖😞

OKAY JUNKO THIS IS TOO FAR

Wait is Mikan pretending?

Poor Guy😢

YEAH LISTEN TO NAGITO

I mean, I don't wanna abandon the teacher but it's already too late

WAIT IS THAT WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE?!?!?

It's so sad to know that they're just running into destruction😔

NO POOR TEACHER LADY

STOP IT RIGHT NOW

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO

You're already too late😞

WAIT WHY ARE THEY BEING SO VIOLENT

Poor Mitirai, man🥺

WAIT NO JUNKO YOU WOULDN'T

Junko STOP LEAVE HIM ALONE

You're in deep shit, Junko

WAIT NO DON'T DIE MITIRAI

Oh thank god😅

Mitirai😭

Poor Nagito too

WAIT MIKAN WHY

NO THE TEACHER IS DEFINITELY HYPNOTIZED NOPE

Episode 10:

Something's wrong....

Chiaki, don't be fooled

Wait is he actually gay tho

Okay Junko please SHUT THE FUCK UP🥰

This isn't gonna go well, is it?

CHIAKI NO

JUNKO DON'T YOU LAY A HAND ON HER

Wait why are they in a trial room

WAIT NAGITO WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN THEM BEFORE

CHIAKI NO

(Won't let me type anymore. Continue post here)

[stargirlfics]

Everybody's talking about eating male celebrities out like Henry and Chris, but... Flo tho. Gripping his shaft and jerking off as he grunts for you to continue. Blushing by how much he's enjoying it and just lets his guard down. Or Pedro getting it so good that he switches up the language. Or both at the same time 😝

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKIN FOOD YES 🥵 we stan!