#staff jacky speaks

[local-x-reader]

Letting you guys decide

[voraciousvore]

Giganterra (Chapter 34)

Prologue/ TOC | Previous (33) | Next (35)

Content Warning: Vore themes, vulgar language

Word Count: 2.6k

------ Chapter 34: I Can't (Won't) Help You ------

Bucky was furious after the whole incident with Chef Gore. He came into work the next morning in a disgusting mood: smacking around the lower-level kitchen workers, demanding the floors and counters be mopped to an immaculate shine, and cursing out his staff over the most trivial errors. Cruor didn’t get the chance to fawn over Addison and feed her breakfast, as was his typical morning ritual. He tried to stay out of his boss’s way, but Bucky was hankering for a confrontation. 

“Cruor!” he blustered, swinging his arms aggressively as he stamped over. “What’s the hold-up?” He clapped his hands rudely in the chef’s face. “Hurry your ass up! We’ve got food to serve!” 

Cruor huffed. “Working on it, boss.” He poured pancake batter into a skillet and sprinkled in a handful of blueberries. 

“Well, work harder. You’ve got some big shoes to fill with Chef Gore gone.” He regarded Cruor with skepticism, plucking at his blond mustache, as if inspecting a fresh meat delivery that he suspected was rotten. Cruor squinted back with irritation, wishing he’d just leave already so he could get back to cooking. “You’re so dang bony too, like a half-starved chicken. You need to fatten up. You know I like big meaty boys.” 

“Uh, no. Absolutely not. I’m not replacing Gore as your slut, you freak,” Cruor snapped, tossing his wavy hair back. “You’ll have to find a new dog to torment.” 

Bucky scowled before a seedy grin grew across his face. “Speaking of fattening up...” Cruor stiffened. “How’s your little lady in the jar doing?” 

“She’s getting there. It takes time,” Cruor mumbled. 

“Hmph. You know, I’m starting to think we’ll have to dispose of her, if she’s not ready for dinner soon.” 

“What?! No! That’s…” He scrambled for an excuse. “That’s premature, to say the least. A huge waste.” 

Bucky clucked his tongue. “We’ll see.” He spun around, spotting a gravy spill on the floor, and stormed over to rake one of the kitchen workers over the coals. Cruor ground his teeth in troubled thought as he flipped his pancakes. With Bucky’s attention diverted elsewhere, he dripped a few drops in the pan to make fluffy, human-sized pancakes for his girl.  His heart fluttered when he thought about her. At least somebody appreciated the blood, sweat, and tears he poured into his culinary art. 

Bucky stopped over at the human tanks, glaring down at Eren with vicious hatred. She stared back smugly, crossing her arms in fearless defiance. As upset as she had been over her recapture, she was elated by her unprecedented victory. She had accomplished the impossible, without dying, so she was very proud of herself. She wanted to do it again, scheming over how she could sate her thirst for blood. She hoped to see her confidant Joey again. 

Bucky lowered his face to her level and pounded on the glass with his fat finger. “I may not be able to kill or mutilate you, ya little bitch, but don’t think you’ve gotten away with it without any consequences. I’ll be sticking you into every last food order that comes out of this kitchen, mark my words!” He snapped his teeth at her before stomping off, shaking the glass walls with his footsteps.  

Eren was unintimidated by Bucky’s threat, but Jackie was shaken. She couldn’t understand how Eren was able to be so gutsy around those giant brutes. She gave a sidelong glance to Eren, hoping that her fellow human wouldn’t wind up dead, before looking over sadly at Iris. During the entire drama, with the death of Gore and Eren’s recapture, she’d remained as immobile and indifferent to her surroundings as if nothing of note had occurred at all. Jackie hated to see such lifelessness. 

She was already struggling not to cry, but the sight of Chester strolling into the kitchen really made her heart bleed. She didn’t want to face him in her distressed state and pretend to be unruffled by his gigantic presence. She didn’t want to be eaten again, to have him slobbering all over her with voracious desire. She didn’t want to play his game; she doubted if she’d even be able to sway him to her side, after seeing him thwart Eren’s escape attempt. She felt like giving up. 

Bucky intercepted Chester on his way over to the humans. “Chester!” he growled. “I know why you’re here! Pay up! All of it!” 

“Bucky, that’s not fair,” Chester reasoned. “A little human isn’t worth all that. Besides, I helped you catch the other one. Shouldn’t that count for something?” 

“I shouldn’t have to credit you for doing your fucking job!” Bucky snarled in return. “Pay the bribe or get the hell out of my kitchen!” 

Chester pouted, but he recognized he couldn’t win. He had no leverage, and Bucky had called his bluff. To him, Jackie was worth a lot more than the comparatively trivial trinkets loading down his pocket. “Alright, Bucky. I’ll pay,” the hungry giant agreed quietly. 

Jackie watched with trepidation as Chester dumped a truckload of sparkling jewels and gold into Bucky’s greedy fat paw. Her heart dropped into her stomach. For that exorbitant price, there was no doubt he would eat her this time, whether she was willing or not. She backed away into the wall, feeling small and trapped, as the gargantuan man approached. 

He looked down at her with softness in his green eyes before opening the lid and offering her his hand. Unlike last time, she cringed away, hiding her face and whimpering. She wasn’t ready to be eaten again, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to convince him otherwise. Chester frowned, not expecting this response. He gingerly wrapped his hand around her shaking form and lifted her out of the enclosure. He clutched her protectively to his chest and retreated to his customary hideout, the food closet. 

Once they were secluded from the hustle and bustle of the kitchen, Chester settled in and carefully cupped Jackie in his palms, surveying her closely. She curled up in the bowl of his hands, trembling relentlessly. He thought about what to say to her. The withering glare of betrayal she had scalded him with yesterday, followed by the fear she exhibited today, suggested to him that he needed to mend the trust that he’d broken. 

“I can’t take it anymore…” Jackie stammered faintly. 

“Hm?” Chester leaned closer, prompting her to coil her body tighter. Her eyes turned shiny and wet. 

��Please don’t…” The fear and despair in her tone was palpable as she hid her face again. “Please don’t eat me… I’m begging you.” 

Chester furrowed his brows and swallowed the inevitable deluge of saliva that flowed through his maw at the suggestion. Her aroma was tantalizing, her flesh beckoning mere feet from his waiting mouth. “No, no, Jackie, I won’t. I just… want to talk, I swear.” He restrained himself from licking his chops. 

“T-talk? Really?” Jackie looked up him, glistening trails streaming down her cheeks. 

“Oh, Jackie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Chester apologized tenderly. He stroked her back and huddled shoulders gently with his pinky. “I know I must look like some sort of monster, but I really do have quite a fondness for you.” 

“For my taste,” Jackie spat bitterly, wiping away tears with her slender forearm. 

“Not… just that,” Chester confessed. He found his shameful inner thoughts difficult to bring into the light, but he wanted Jackie to know. “Ever since I met you—and yes, first tasted you—I’ve been obsessed with you. I can’t get you out of my head.”  

He gazed upon the object of his affection in earnest. “And—and yes, I’ve fantasized desperately about putting you into my mouth, and tasting you, and swallowing you, and keeping you in my stomach.” Jackie blanched. “B-b-but don’t misunderstand! I’ve felt so much more than that! Feelings I shouldn’t have for my food, for a human—inappropriate feelings, admittedly—but intense ones. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite this way about a tiny woman before, but you’re just so sweet and cute and lovely, I can’t resist…” His fingertip, thicker around than her whole body, trailed down her back. “I… I might be in love with you.” 

Jackie gazed at him with stupefaction, mouth agape. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She never expected that the giant man who wanted to devour her so badly, enough to risk stealing from the princess to pay bribes to have her, would feel anything more for her than he would for a supremely delicious cut of steak. She had hoped to influence him, perhaps gain his trust, but she never believed in a million years that he would be in love with her! The very concept was astounding, impossible, implausible. And yet… here he was, pouring his heart out to her, those brilliant green irises fixated on her, waiting urgently for a response, as if she held all his hopes and dreams in the palm of her tiny hand, within his much larger hands. 

Jackie gulped, unsettled by his obsessive attention on her. She realized in a rush that she had accomplished the first step in her plan, despite her failures. Her pulse rocketed up with intensity. “If you really mean that, and you care about me that much, then help me! Save me!” she cried out, slapping her hands into the cushion of his palm for emphasis. “Save us all!” 

Chester blinked, the adoration in his expression fading. “I can’t,” he informed her sadly. 

Jackie’s hopes shattered and her eyes moistened with fresh tears. “W-why not?” 

Chester sighed. “You’re the property of the king. If I stole you, or let any of his precious humans escape, he would slaughter me.” 

“Then… then… take down the king!” Jackie shouted. Chester’s eyebrows shot up at the bold declaration. 

“Absolutely not.” 

“But why?! Why NOT?!” 

Chester had no intention of performing regicide, no matter how badly Jackie may want him to, but he humored her and listed all the reasons why such a feat would be impossible. “First of all, even if I wanted to betray him, how in the world would I accomplish that? He’s got his guard Ajax always by his side, so physical violence is out of the question. And I have to eat and drink the same food as him, right in front of him before he eats it, so I can’t poison him.” 

“You can’t just slip it in, while you’re pretending to check it?” 

“Hell no. I mess up and he notices, that’s instant death for me. And what if I somehow succeed? What then? He dies, and then his brat of a son ascends the throne and executes me for treason. No thanks. Even if I somehow miraculously kept my head, nobody would trust me any longer. I’d lose everything.” 

Jackie ruminated on his words, seeing in them only excuses. “So it’s hopeless. You won’t help me,” she uttered in words as heavy as lead. More tears sprinkled down. 

“Oh... Jackie...” Chester curled his fingers around her lovingly and brought her up to his chest. “I’m sorry...” He felt a need to reassure her, even if he didn’t believe his own words. “Don’t fret, Jackie. We’ll find a way... somehow...” 

She sniffled and buried her face in his shirt. “My friend, Iris... she’s going to die. They keep talking about disposing of her.” 

“Oh... the lethargic one in the case next to you? Yes, I did observe that.” 

Jackie nodded. Chester petted her with his fingers. She let out a shuddering breath. “I’m scared for Eren too.” She glared up at Chester, her temper flaring. “Why did you have to bring her back? She almost escaped and now Bucky will probably squash her!” She smashed her fist into Chester’s chest out of frustration, but to him it felt like nothing more than a small poke. 

“It’s my job, Jackie. I had to.” Chester knew this explanation would be insufficient in Jackie’s eyes, but it was the truth. He elaborated, “I can’t just let humans run free. The king knows I can track their scent. If one gets away from me, he’d likely have me executed.” No human had ever escaped the castle, thanks to Chester’s acute senses. 

Jackie beat her fists against the giant’s sternum to vent her spleen. “You’re not even trying! Why won’t you HELP me?” She collapsed with a heaving sob, burying herself in his shirt as hopelessness washed over her. She understood Chester’s point, but she knew if he truly cared that much, he would find a way. He was too comfortable in his palace job to really sacrifice anything to save her. She was still a lesser being to him, and they both knew it. 

Chester cradled her in his hands, hugging her snugly against him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated softly. He held her against him for a long time, rocking her soothingly as she wept until she was dried out. The giant felt a stab of guilt over his unwillingness to do more, but he couldn’t see a happy ending for Jackie, or any of her friends.  

He felt even worse when his stomach grumbled, exposing the inner desires of his flesh that he strained to repress around Jackie. He didn’t think he’d be able to save the other humans, but he had secretly considered stealing Jackie for himself. However, if he absconded from the castle with her, cut all ties, and went into hiding, he’d lose access to the magic anti-digestion potions. He doubted he’d be able to restrain his ravenous urges around her for an extended period. He’d eat her, and she’d be dead. That was not an avenue he was willing to explore. 

Sitting on the dusty hard floor of the closet was uncomfortable, but Chester lingered, relishing every last moment he had with Jackie. He realized, with the extortionate price Bucky was demanding, he would probably never be able to share personal time in private with her again. He couldn’t get away with stealing any more of Princess Bianca’s jewelry, and he wasn’t a rich man by any means. Perhaps cutting all contact was for the best, since she resented him now. A pang of sadness wracked him to his core. Why couldn’t he have his cake—his girl—and eat her too? He couldn’t win. 

He stayed, refusing to leave until his time was up. As angry and heartbroken as Jackie was, she understood, in a cynical way, Chester’s perspective. Remaining with him, despite the unpleasant situation, was preferable to being on display as a food item in the kitchen. She could even find some comfort with him, the only giant who saw her as more than just an edible scrap, even if she still wasn’t quite a real person to him. She could sense the care and tenderness in his every touch as he caressed her with his fingers. She couldn’t entirely blame him for existing as the giant that he was, she supposed. After all, he could’ve just treated her as insignificant and gobbled her up, rather than taking the time to talk and reason with her.  

When Chester didn’t emerge from the closet by dinnertime, Bucky had to barge in and ruin everything. “Time’s up, Chester!” he belted out. Chester glared at him morosely. He didn’t hand Jackie over, but he didn’t resist either as Bucky clawed at his hands and wrenched Jackie away from him. She maintained doleful eye contact with Chester as she dangled from Bucky’s fingers. 

“Now get out!” Bucky demanded and pointed to the back door out of the kitchen. With a labored sigh, Chester hauled himself to his feet and dusted off his pants. He gave Jackie one last look, swollen with meaning, before washing his hands of the whole affair and trudging out. 

Chapter 35

Tag List: @yummynomms @tinycoded360

[jacquesthepigeon]

The miracle box is Chinese in terms of base aesthetics and nothing else. Which is embarrassing for a professional work that can afford to hire cultural experts. I do more research for my fanfiction than the professional writing staff apparently did for this mess of a show.

In China, black cats symbolize GOOD fortune, not bad luck. The idea of black cats being unlucky is very Western and also relatively modern when you considered that the box is supposed to date back several millenia.

Ladybugs seem to be associated with good luck, too, but so do lots of other animals and it doesn't seem like a Ladybug is the "lucky animal" go-to in Chinese culture. It's hard to research this since I don't speak Chinese and so many sites spout BS "oriental mysticism" type stuff, but lists of lucky Chinese animals never mention Ladybugs. You have to specifically look for Chinese lore around Ladybugs to find anything. In other words, I don't think a box based on Chinese lore would have a black cat and a ladybug as Creation and Destruction with clear luck themes.

As best I can tell, none of the zodiac powers are based on Chinese mythology around the zodiac either. I mean, Fluff is pretty explicitly designed around Alice in Wonderland, which has nothing to do with ancient China or Tibet. It's glaringly obvious that they just went with the zodiac because it's neat.

In other words, I think it's more culturally sensitive to redesign the miracle box so that it's not tied to a specific culture than to try and make the existing one work with Chinese culture unless you're going to completely rework what the miraculous actually do.

(I'm sending this in partially because I'd love to see comments from any followers who actually know about this stuff and can chime in with thoughts or good resources! I've been curious about the Chinese zodiac ever since Jackie Chan Adventures introduced me to the concept as a kid)

I recall that guy explicitly stating that the reason they decided on Chinese origins was to make the lore ~exotic~ which like

I don’t have to explain the implications

[escapepodding]

Workplaces on Sea

Have watched the first 3 episodes of ofmd s2 and am loving it! Seen lots of interesting takes but haven't seen too much on season 2's focus on workplaces so just wanted to weigh in. Ed's turned the Revenge toxic, and when Izzie finally speaks up (the middle manager having to liase between toxic boss and rebelling staff) Ed asks if they all had cake. The joke is about how some super toxic workplaces offer perks and think that makes up for the horrors. Jim rebels first because they have now experienced a healthy workplace culture, and even tells Archie about it. As for the other captains...

Spanish Jackie has the rest of the crew in indentured servitude, with them living in a basement on a tiny salary that she then reclaims so it's all for nothing, like minimum wage jobs that make you pay for the uniform. Zheng Yi Sao seems to have the best workplace culture but its also reminiscent of all encompassing big companies like Google whereby they get nice food and wellness benefits (and an ultra charismatic leader) but their entire lives are gladly given to The Cause and to her vision.

Stede's crew originally started off as a vanity project, his own Marie Antoinette pastoral ideal on sea, and is now becoming more real. There's a life debt the crew seem to be taking seriously (or the Swede at least) but they follow him and he looks after them, so his leadership is coming out. This definitely makes me a very boring and dull adult but I'm interested to see how this theme continues!

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart 2 - Chapter 13

Control

TW: Miscarriage and infertility is further discussed A/N: Here's The Prayer that is sung later

Matthew hadn’t realised how comfortable he had got with the hospital routine until Ethan announced his vitals were stable and he was officially being discharged to rest at home. Matthew was looking forward to his own bed and having a cuddle with Spooky, but with Rafael still in hospital and his friends still at work, the empty hours were suddenly very unappealing. It wouldn’t be the same without people checking in regularly, and without Rafael a few doors away.

He did his best, looking for distractions in the form of TV, books, art, and video games. He deep-cleaned the apartment three times in the week, only stopping when the cleaning products started irritating his hands, but the knot in his chest only ever loosened when his friends came home.

No matter what he did, nothing could stop the nightmares. Gigantic hazmat suits bearing down on him, but he couldn’t see the faces of the people inside them. An endless ocean of plastic smothered him, and Rafael’s lifeless body was always just out of reach. More than once, Sienna had overheard him thrashing around and had woken him up. She would keep him company for the night, but he would be too afraid to go back to sleep.

A memorial was to be held for Danny and Bobby on the 25th November. The families had held a private service each, but agreed to a joint memorial for the hospital staff who wanted to pay their respects. As someone who had been there at the time of death, Matthew had been asked to say a few words. He wasn’t sure why that made him qualified to speak; it had been made to sound like he had kept vigil by their bedside as they had peacefully slipped away. On the other hand, how could he say no?

A bright spot was when Rafael was fully discharged a few days before the memorial. He was indeed going to stay with his grandma first; his parents still worked full-time and he would need extra support whilst he was still weak.

The night before the memorial, Matthew was sat on the sofa sipping warm milk. Jackie was keeping him company.

“You’re going to see Raf tomorrow morning, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’ll be back in plenty of time.”

Jackie took a sip from her mug and looked at him thoughtfully.

“Are you two back together or anything?”

“I…no.”

“But you want to be.”

“Well…yes. But…it’s hardly the right time to talk about it.”

“That’s your excuse?”

“But…his health…!”

“I know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.” Jackie sighed and shifted in her spot on the couch. “But when exactly is the right time? You’ve both been discharged now, and if you keep pushing it back, you’re at risk of losing him again.”

Matthew gulped, gripping the handle of his mug.

“Would you judge me?” he asked. “If we did get back together?”

“No.” Jackie’s voice was unexpectedly gentle. “Not if he makes you happy.”

Jackie gave Matthew her car keys the next morning – she had bought a cheap old banger after Landry moved out last year – and he drove over to Raf’s neighbourhood. It was a quiet part of the city, with more green space. Apartment buildings gave way to small houses, and traffic thinned out.

He pulled up outside a small brick house with a shaded porch and a neat front yard. The familiar old-fashioned street lamps brought a small smile out of him as he climbed out of the car and started up the path, but he was barely halfway there before the door opened to reveal Juliana Aveiro.

“Matthew!”

She shot towards him like a dart, hitting him with a force that made him step back, as she wrapped him into a hug so enormous he wouldn’t have believed it came from such a small woman.

“Careful there, you’ll break me,” he chuckled, hugging her back. He’d only met her once, but she greeted him like her long-lost friend. It was very touching.

“Oh, you can take it!” Juliana beamed. She pulled his face down to kiss him on both cheeks and grabbed his hand to shepherd him into the house.

The smell hit him instantly: a decadent blend of chocolate, cinnamon, hazelnut, and something fruity. Juliana’s kitchen table was littered with brightly coloured candies and cakes that she had clearly put her heart and soul into making.

“I have food! I have drinks! I have everything you need! My home is yours!”

“Please, this is far too much—”

“Nonsense.” Juliana held his hand tightly in both of hers. “You saved my beautiful boy! Nothing is too much for you.”

“He saved me too, you know. We saved each other.”

Juliana was not deterred. “Then when he visits you, let your grandmother dote on him!”

Matthew chuckled – not wanting to tell her his grandparents had passed away years ago – when the door creaked open and they both looked over to see Rafael standing there. He leaned heavily on the door frame and the weight loss was still extremely noticeable around his face and baggy clothes, but he smiled brightly at the two of them.

“Vovó, please! You’re embarrassing me!”

“And what could you have to be embarrassed about?” Juliana laughed, calling his bluff. “A grandmother who loves you and knows how to treat her guests? Now please, eat!”

Matthew’s appetite still wasn’t quite back to normal, but he could hardly turn down Juliana, so he tried a cajuzinho. It was sweet, with a sublime peanut flavour, and melted in his mouth and he couldn’t resist a second one. Juliana smiled in satisfaction and said she would pack him a tin. As she busied herself, Matthew took the opportunity to speak to Rafael.

“How are you doing?” he asked, as they shared a quick hug.

“Well, it’s easier to walk every day and I can get up the stairs to my bedroom without wheezing so that’s something.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“And…things between you and Sora…?”

“Definitively over,” Rafael sighed. “But I think that’s for the best. My heart wasn’t in it the way it should have been. Maybe, in time, we can be friends again.”

“Makes sense,” Matthew nodded, trying not to let too much relief show on his face. “Are you coming to the memorial for Danny and Bobby this afternoon?”

“I can’t,” Rafael said, his face falling. “My doctors are still really concerned about my immune system and they want me to steer clear of large crowds.” He shook his head, real pain in his eyes. “Pathetic, isn’t it? I can’t even go to the memorial of the men I failed to save.”

“Stop it,” Matthew said, fiercely, putting his hands on Rafael’s shoulders. “They wouldn’t see it that way and you know it. You did everything you could. The only person to blame for this is Travis, and he’s dead.”

Rafael looked surprised at Matthew’s sudden speech, then his face softened.

“What would I do without you in my life, Matthew?”

“The same stuff, probably. But you wouldn’t have anyone to sass you about it.”

Raf smiled, and seemed to relax a little.

“So, listen…I know you have to get ready for the memorial but…if you have some time, I’d love some company on my walk.” He scratched the back of his neck again. “I’m attempting a whole block today…big stuff.”

He looked like he still had a few things on his mind, and Matthew suspected he didn’t want his grandma to hear a lot of it. Raf looked relieved when he said he would walk with him.

“Vovó! Matthew and I are going for a quick walk around the block.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Juliana asked, her eyes anxious behind her glasses. “Dr Mirani said you needed rest…”

“He also said I needed to build my strength up,” Rafael chuckled, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Besides, Matthew’s a doctor too, remember? He says it’s OK.”

Juliana glanced at Matthew, and nodded.

“OK, if Matthew says so. Just be safe!”

“It’s a promise.”

“Don’t worry, Juliana, I’ll make sure he gets home safely,” Matthew interjected, teasing Raf just a little.

“I know you will, darling.”

Juliana handed him a tin stuffed to bursting with sweets before kissing them both goodbye.

“She’s just put your life in my hands, hasn’t she?” Matthew smirked as they closed the front door and he put the tin of sweets in Jackie’s car.

“Wouldn’t trust it with anyone else.”

They began walking slowly down the street.

“So, how are you doing?”

“I’m good. Great, even!”

“That’s what you told me in front of your adorably worried grandma. I’m asking for real, just between you and me.”

“I…” Raf faltered and his face fell. “I don’t know. The truth is, I’m all over the place. Some moments I feel grateful but other times all I can think about is Danny and Bobby and how I couldn’t save them. I keep replaying it in my head. If I’d moved quicker, or seen the signs sooner…if I’d thought faster to throw myself on that goddamn cannister…”

“But then you’d be dead.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No. No buts. Please, Raf, not on this.” It still scared Matthew to hear Rafael talking about his death. “You’re alive, and that’s important to me. It’s important to everyone.”

Raf was quiet for a moment, lost in thought, before he turned to Matthew.

“I had an appointment with a therapist the day before I was discharged. Um…my mom told you a bit about why I’m an only child?”

“She just said a big family wasn’t meant to be.”

“She had three miscarriages before me. I remember being about five or six and having to move in with my grandparents. I ended up living with them for quite a few months, and just visiting my parents every so often. When I was older they told me it was because they had tried again, but remained unsuccessful. It damaged her mental health and she needed professional support, but at the time they just told me she was really sick. I remember picking up on the fact they were sad and I wanted to them to be happy again, and I wanted to help them as much as I could back then. My therapist thinks I never really let go of that mindset. I was trying to be a good kid, then I grew up and continued wanting to help people, and then it just snowballed, you know? I was the guy who helped and saved everyone, I think it became…not a goal, but a measure of my value if that makes sense?”

“You mean if you weren’t taking crazy risks, you weren’t trying hard enough?”

“God, it sounds ridiculous but…yeah. If I was prepared to risk my life for a stranger, then I was where I was meant to be. But when I talked about it in therapy, I started thinking that Mom and Dad would have been appalled to hear that was my way of thinking. They never would have wanted me to feel like I had to sacrifice myself to ‘earn’ my place.”

“You’re not wrong,” Matthew said gently as they turned a corner. “Was there anything else that made you question your mindset?”

“…The look on my vovó’s face when I came home,” Raf said, quietly. “Her desperation and her fear…and the way she hugged me and just sobbed and sobbed.”

He quickly wiped his eye. Matthew reached out and squeezed his shoulder in quiet comfort as Raf took a minute to pull himself together.

“It got me thinking,” Rafael continued. “What if I really had died? How could I do that to her? To you? To Mom and Dad, after they struggled so much to have a child?”

“You did amazing things as a paramedic,” Matthew said, giving him one more squeeze before he let go. “But there’s so much more to you than taking big risks. You’re you. And you matter.”

The corner of Raf’s mouth tipped upward as they crossed the street. A pair of old men were sat on a nearby porch playing chess, and they called out ‘hello’ as Raf walked past.

“Raf?”

They turned to see Raf’s friend, Lucas, jogging over to them. Matthew had briefly met Lucas last year. He and Raf volunteered at the civic centre on a regular basis.

“Hi Lucas.”

“Good to see you, man. Back from the dead and better than ever!”

Matthew winced as Lucas hugged Raf tightly.

“I know you’ve got a long recovery, but come visit the civic centre when you’re ready? The old ladies are very worried about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want to teach samba alone!”

“C’mon, you know what they’re like when the music heats up!” Lucas laughed, as he turned to Matthew. “How about you, Matthew? You doing OK?”

“Yeah, not bad,” Matthew smiled, pleasantly surprised that Lucas remembered his name.

They chatted with Lucas for a minute longer before moving on, with Lucas promising Rafael he’d take him out for a drink when he was up for it. Matthew didn’t miss the way people continued to smile and greet them when they saw Rafael.

“God, they really love you here, don’t they?”

“It’s a warm neighbourhood. We love each other.”

“You know what I mean. Look at how they look at you.”

It was heart-warming but Rafael seemed distracted.

“It can be a lot of pressure, actually.”

Matthew thought of how unsettled Raf had been since the summer, and how moving to Brazil was supposed to be a fresh start. He wondered if some of the uncertainness was still there, if Raf was still considering a move when the time was right. At the time, Matthew had swallowed his pain to support Raf but – selfishly – he didn’t want to do that anymore.

“I’m happy you’re staying,” he said, quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Matthew glanced at him, and then away. “I know I distanced myself when we broke up…but it didn’t change the fact I was really going to miss you. Boston wasn’t going to be the same without you around.”

As he said it, he wondered if it was too much, but Rafael smiled with a softness that reminded Matthew of how it had been before Sora had come into the picture.

“I was going to miss you too,” Raf said. “But the funny thing is, since moving in with Vovó, I’ve been increasingly glad that I didn’t move to Brazil. I’m sure I’ll go back to visit but I’d have missed my home too much.”

Matthew laughed and wrapped an arm around Raf’s shoulders. Raf squeezed him back in return as they walked into a small, empty park.

“It’s nice here,” Matthew noted, looking around. The path was lined with rows of coloured pansies and led to a small fountain. The trees were mostly bare, but orange leaves flooded the surrounding grass. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Hm? Oh. Yeah, sometimes, when I need to clear my head.” Rafael suddenly stopped and turned to Matthew. Desperation was written all over his face. “Matthew, what the hell do I do now? I think I know what I don’t want but without that…who am I?”

“Just take it one day at a time, Raf,” Matthew said, taking his hands. “You’ll figure it out when you’re meant to.”

Matthew wasn’t sure what made him do it. If you’d asked him, he would have said it was still too early. But Rafael looked so scared and all Matthew could think about was calming him down. He leaned forward and very gently pressed his lips against Rafael’s for a brief moment.

Rafael froze at his touch, staring at Matthew wide-eyed. But then, his eyes hardened, he pulled Matthew close to him and kissed him back, with a long, deep kiss that was as tender as it was desperate. Matthew melted into his touch, enveloped by his warmth, as his hand traced up Raf’s arm and he tangled his fingers in Raf’s thick hair. He kept his hand there until the kiss ended and Raf rested his forehead against Matthew’s. They were both breathing hard.

“Matthew…”

“Ssh…”

Matthew kissed him again, pouring out months of yearning and pining. Raf returned it eagerly as his hands ran up Matthew’s back and sides. Matthew sighed longingly as Raf’s arms came to rest around his waist.

“Matthew, listen…” Raf gasped, pulling away again. “I’m sorry for the way things went down. With Sora, with us…”

Matthew suddenly didn’t want to hear it. He had been dreading this day, but now the best thing in the world was happening to him, and he couldn’t ruin it with anything else. He gave Raf another quick kiss.

“We’ll talk about it later. I promise you, we’ll talk about it properly later. Right now…this is all I want.”

Raf cupped Matthew’s cheek in his hand, stroking his pale skin with his thumb.

“God, you’re gorgeous, you know that?”

Matthew’s cheeks warmed under Rafael’s palm, and then they were kissing again. They slowed down now, desperation giving way to softness as they both realised the moment wasn’t going to disappear. Matthew was good at focusing on work instead of personal problems, but now everything about him was focused on Rafael and nothing else. He wouldn’t have noticed if they had grown wings, lifted off the ground and ascended to the heavens.

And then his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket.

“Crap,” he muttered, digging it out and switching off the alarm.

“The memorial?” Rafael brushed his lips against Matthew’s forehead as he spoke, which made him shiver.

“Yeah. I have to get ready.” Matthew reluctantly stepped out of Rafael’s embrace. “C’mon, I can at least walk you back.”

It was a shorter route, completing the circuit back to Juliana’s house. They didn’t say much – just their hands brushing together as they walked – until they were stood at the edge of the front garden.

“I’d offer to invite you in,” Raf said. “But Vovó might not let you leave.”

Matthew didn’t say anything as he looked over at the house. He was suddenly very tempted to run inside and hide in Rafael’s arms all afternoon.

Perhaps Raf could tell what he was thinking. He pulled Matthew into a fierce hug.

“I’m here for you, I promise,” he said. “If you need to talk after the memorial…you can call me, whenever you need.”

“Thanks,” Matthew murmured, cherishing his touch and breathing in his scent. Then he gave him one more gentle kiss.

“Can we do this again soon?”

“Oh yes. Absolutely.”

Matthew climbed into the car and watched as Rafael made his way up the path and into the house. He had a small smile on his face as he started the engine, which made him jump as it roared to life. It seemed too loud, as if his ears had been blocked, muffling sound for months, and had now just cleared.

His smile didn’t last as he drove back towards the city. Skyscrapers loomed and the overhead clouds thickened and darkened, and he could no longer ignore what he was about to face.

He was surprised to find a small bouquet of flowers sat on the kitchen counter when he got home, with a card that read ‘Sorry for everything you went through – Best wishes, Farley’.

“Hi.” Jackie had just come out of her room. She wore a smart black dress and was clipping her hair back. “How’s Raf?”

“He’s OK…well, about as OK as he can be for now.”

Jackie looked him up and down, but said nothing else about it.

“The others decided to head out early, but we’re not running late yet. Do you want me to put the flowers in some water?”

“Yes please. Did he deliver those personally, or…?”

“Elijah found them at the door and brought them in. I never had Farley as a flowers person, to be honest.”

“Me neither.”

Matthew handed Jackie back her car keys and put his box of sweets in the fridge before going into his room – which was the tidiest it had ever been thanks to his obsessive cleaning. He had gone out with Bryce after he was discharged to buy a suit. He had found a black three-piece suit and, as he was trying it on, had spotted a black dress coat. The ensemble was perfect. As he looked in the mirror, he saw the respect that Danny and Bobby deserved for losing their lives in his place.

He and Jackie didn’t speak as they drove through town to the cemetery. Matthew distracted himself by fiddling with the radio. Jackie didn’t tell him off for it, which was a little unnerving.

“Holy crap,” she muttered, suddenly. The small car park was full. Cars lined the street. People were walking into the cemetery in droves. Matthew recognised a lot of hospital staff, but there were so many patients among them, and more family and friends than he’d thought possible. He bit his lip and squeezed Jackie’s shoulder.

Chairs had been assembled – not enough – in front of a podium, and a table that overflowed with flowers and held framed photos of Danny and Bobby. Bryce and Elijah were looking at it as Bryce talked about an event that happened earlier that year. A particularly paranoid patient had gone into a panic right before going into surgery and had refused any help or even anaesthesia. Eventually, Danny had gotten desperate.

“…So he grabbed the emergency paddles and just said ‘I don’t have a taser but these will do the job pretty well’. The patient finally let us operate after that,” Bryce chuckled. “Not the toughest emergency surgery I’ve ever done, but certainly the most eventful.”

“There are senior doctors here, Bryce. Maybe you shouldn’t be talking so loud…”

“They won’t be able to do anything. Danny felt he had to report it to Naveen afterwards. Naveen found it hilarious, and I think he bought Danny a drink that night.” There was a twinkle in Bryce’s eye but it faded as his face fell. “God, I can’t believe that was only a few months ago.”

“Me neither,” Matthew murmured. He looked over at Elijah to find him staring passively at the framed photos.

“Elijah? You OK?”

“Yeah.” Elijah blinked out of his absent-mindedness. “Just…been to too many of these.”

Matthew was about to ask what he meant when he felt a gentle touch at his wrist and glanced down to see Aurora, dressed in a black shirt and trousers. Her eyes were a little bloodshot and Matthew squeezed her.

“Thanks for saving my life,” he said gently, which always managed to draw a small smile out of her. “How are you doing?”

Aurora stopped smiling. “Not great. I just spent half an hour talking to friends and families of the men I couldn’t save.”

“Don’t say that,” Matthew said. “You did everything you could.”

“If I’d just thought to bring Tobias in earlier…”

“What-ifs will drive you crazy, Aurora. Trust me, I know.”

Aurora wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

“So, listen, I’m trying to put together a pitch for merging our two hospitals and I was hoping you could help me with it? I could use back up when appealing to Tobias and Ethan.”

“Of course I’ll help. Maybe one night this week we can—”

But then the priest had taken his place at the podium and was calling for the crowd to take their seats. Elijah rolled himself up to the end of the second row, Matthew sat beside him, then Jackie sat beside Matthew. Bryce and Aurora were next to her.

“Thank you all for coming to today’s service to celebrate the lives of Daniel Cardinal and Robert Gunderson,” the priest said. “It warms my heart to see so many of you here. Their loss has devastated all of us. Both men lived their lives in the service of others, up until the end.”

Matthew’s throat tightened when he remembered Bobby walking straight into the patient room without hesitating. Risky situations were the nature of his job, and he did his job well. Danny lost his life just for running a regular health check on a patient. A patient who was only in the hospital because Matthew had coerced him into transferring, in the hope of getting some money. It seemed so trivial now, when all they had was two bodies in the ground. It could have been three, or even four bodies in the ground.

Matthew’s hands started to tremble and his eyes stung. At his side, Jackie was sniffling and tears were rolling down Elijah’s cheeks. Matthew took a deep breath and reached for both of their hands. They held on to him tightly as Elijah rubbed his forearm and Jackie leaned against him.

The priest went on to talk about how Danny was a sweet, caring little boy who had loved to play hospitals. He had been forever asking questions and constantly bandaging stuffed animals; some of the attendees chuckled at this. The dark-haired woman in front of Matthew bowed her head, and a younger woman beside her wrapped her arm around her shoulders. The grey sky above only got darker.

The priest moved on to Bobby, how he had served in the military until his late thirties, when he decided to move back home and focus on his family. Apparently hospital security had offered a good balance between the two. Matthew remembered how Jackie had snuck him into the hospital to visit Rafael last year and had almost bribed Bobby with coffee to let him in. Injustice burned in Matthew’s heart. Bobby was supposed to pass away peacefully of old age, after his children had grown up and children of their own. Matthew clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms. He saved lives every day at work, except here. And now all he could do was listen to a speech and toss a flower onto a grave.

“Dr Valentine?”

Matthew jumped. The priest was looking at him, along with what felt like everyone else.

“Would you like to say a few words?”

No. That was what Matthew had thought when Danny’s mother asked him if he would be able to speak; he was Danny’s friend and he had been there in his last moments, she had said. It would mean a lot. In the end, he didn’t have the heart to refuse. So he stood up in front of the crowd and prepared to speak about the deaths that might not have happened if it weren’t for him.

He thought of Rafael, safe at home, and how upset he had looked that medical advice prevented him from paying his respects. Matthew squared his shoulders and stood up, doing his best to hide his shaking as he made his way to the podium and took the speech from his pocket. Writing it had been hard…it was a group effort with all his friends. He glanced over at them before he began.

“We’ve heard so much today about the amazing people Danny and Bobby were. For me, and everyone else who worked with them, they made every day brighter. Bobby always had a smile on his face, and he found a nickname for every doctor in the hospital….and you all know it’s a big place.”

The crowd chuckled appreciatively, and Matthew smiled despite himself. Bobby never failed to say hi when he saw Matthew at work, and sometimes it made all the difference. His personal nickname for Matthew had been ‘Dr Lightbulb’ after Matthew had been casually chatting to him and had a sudden brainwave about a case. Too bad he hadn’t had a sooner brainwave about Senator Farrugia…

“Danny wasn’t just one of the best nurses I’ve had the privilege of working with. I counted him as a friend. I was new to Boston when we were all sitting out on Boston Common, sharing picnics and watching movies. He helped this new place, this new city, feel like home.” Danny’s kindness on his first day. After making a fool of himself in front of Dr Ramsey, a group of nurses, and a waiting room full of patients, Danny had shown him the way to the locker room, talking and laughing with him the whole time. Within minutes, Matthew had gone from complete humiliation to light-hearted optimism about working at Edenbrook. He sometimes wondered whether he’d have given up if it weren’t for Danny. He had to fight to keep his voice steady.

“What happened was…a tragedy. Every single day, Danny and Bobby gave back. They helped other people. It’s hard enough to lose them…but knowing that two good men  lost their lives to something as ugly as revenge…it’s just devastating.” He took a minute to pull himself together. Aurora was sobbing, Bryce’s arm was tight around her.

“The world is a darker place without them. I’ll miss their smiles, their jokes…but most of all, I’ll miss them. I’ll miss the people they were. And I want to thank them both…for everything.”

People were crying again at the end of the speech. Matthew stumbled back to his seat, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breathe properly. Jackie held on to him tightly as his shoulders heaved and he tried to calm down. The priest murmured his thanks.

Matthew wasn’t the only one to speak, and for the next few minutes, various people said their pieces. The head nurse went up and spoke very fondly of Danny. Bobby’s sister read out his favourite poem. And then a man and woman stood up and sang ‘The Prayer’, which was enough to fully reduce Jackie to tears. Finally, the congregation were given a pair of orchids each and directed to each grave to place it by the headstone. Matthew felt he should say something else as he placed the flowers, but words failed him. All he could think was I’m so sorry but even that seemed insignificant against the scope of what had happened.

The memorial moved into a wake, hosted in a nearby hall that Edenbrook’s administration had organised. A long table was set up alongside the bar, offering a selection of food. Tables and chairs were all set up, and the walls were adorned with pictures of his friends. Matthew looked around at Danny’s school pictures and Bobby’s wedding photos, until he saw one from last summer that made him have to turn away: a selfie by Bryce, featuring Matthew, Danny, Sienna and Elijah. That was when they used to meet up to watch movies on the Common. Matthew had been so happy but he hadn’t even realised how much at the time.

He looked around the room and spotted Sienna in her black dress, standing in the corner of the room and looking a bit wrung out and overwhelmed. He quickly made his way over to her.

“Are you OK? I looked for you at the service…”

“I stood at the back with Ethan. There were a lot of old people there, it didn’t feel right to take a seat.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Just so…”

Sienna bit her lip, then screwed up her face and suddenly thumped at her thighs.

“I’m just so freaking mad! That scummy senator…Travis…the whole freaking world!”

Matthew caught hold of Sienna’s fists and gently pulled her away from a nearby group who had looked over at her sudden outburst. Sienna didn’t fight him.

“The world is so scary, Matthew. Why do people have to make it worse by hurting each other?”

“I don’t know,” Matthew murmured. “The world hasn’t made much sense to me for a while.”

“I used to believe if you were good and kind, the world would be good in return…but that’s bullshit, isn’t it?” Sienna scowled as Matthew rubbed her back. “Danny and Bobby got murdered for doing their jobs…and then I had to pretend that the senator was a good guy…and Danny…”

“Sienna…”

“It was working,” she sobbed, tears falling steadily. “I…I thought we finally had it right, I was excited for what was to come…but now…it never will.”

Matthew pulled Sienna into a tight hug and didn’t let go as she sobbed into his coat. He stayed that way, shielding her from any onlookers. It was so unfair. Sienna had done nothing wrong. She didn’t deserve this pain, and she certainly didn’t deserve to suffer in her relationships for the rest of her lives. Yet again, Matthew wished he’d thought to get Danny out of the room.

Sienna calmed down enough to pull away from the hug, though she held on to Matthew’s hand.

“You saw Raf this morning, right?”

“Yes, he was so sad he couldn’t make it today—”

“Did you talk about your relationship? Now that you’re both out of hospital?”

“Sienna, I don’t know if now’s the right time—”

“Then when is the right time?” Sienna groaned. “What if something else happens? Or what if you keep thinking about it and never bring it up and it starts to breed resentment? You got a second chance! Don’t waste it!”

Matthew couldn’t speak, so just nodded dumbly. Sienna wiped her eyes.

“I need to go wash my face. But thanks for being here, Matthew.”

“Any time you need me, I promise.”

“Yeah…I don’t think we ever stop needing each other.”

Sienna made her way to the bathroom and Matthew was alone with his thoughts. Now that Sienna had mentioned it, it was getting harder not to imagine Rafael being included in the memorial: his pictures on the walls, and the size of the congregation being ten times as big to accommodate those who loved him. He looked around, desperate for something to focus on, someone who needed him…and then an idea took hold.

He found Aurora moving through the crowd and rushed to meet her, without pausing to think his idea through.

“We need to talk to Ethan about your plan. Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook need to merge.”

“Wait…now?” Aurora blinked. “We’re at a memorial service, besides I haven’t put a pitch together…”

“It doesn’t matter! Ethan just worked with Tobias to cure the incurable. The longer we wait, the more they start to forget that and move back to their stupid competition.”

He didn’t bother to wait for a response and marched toward Ethan, leaving Aurora no choice but to hurry along behind him. Ethan raised an eyebrow as he approached.

“We have an idea to save the hospital.”

“…Can’t it wait until we’re back at the hospital?”

“No!” Matthew snapped, all of his frustration bubbling over. “For months I’ve been busting my ass finding ways to save the hospital and you’ve blocked me at every turn. How about this time you actually try and meet me halfway?”

Ethan’s eyes widened as Matthew realised he had basically just told his direct supervisor to shut up, but when Aurora tried to apologise for him, Ethan just shook his head. He was giving Matthew a pass, this time.

“Tell me.”

Matthew looked at Aurora, who sighed before launching into a brief explanation of merging the two hospitals and sharing the research grant, splitting resources and minimising redundancies. It promised good press for both hospitals. Ethan stayed quiet, glancing between the two of them with a look that bordered on intensity. It put Matthew on edge.

“Help us pitch it,” Matthew said, after Aurora finished explaining. “We’re nobodies; the board won’t listen to us. But if you and Tobias can work it out…”

He trailed off when he realised Ethan was shaking his head again.

“Matthew, you know that if it worked, it wouldn’t be a cure-all. Minimising redundancy isn’t no redundancy. People will still lose their jobs in this scenario.”

“Then I’ll be the first person to volunteer for the lay-offs. If that’s what it takes to save Edenbrook, so be it.”

“You don’t need to throw yourself on to the fire for this,” Aurora said, shocked.

“I’ll do whatever needs doing,” Matthew said, before turning back to Ethan. “So will you talk to Tobias?”

Ethan spluttered. Matthew growled in frustration.

“Danny and Bobby just died. The least you can do is talk to a man you don’t like.”

Ethan’s face fell.

“I’m not saying no. Just…give me a little more time to look into it, OK?”

“…Fine.”

Knowing he was arguing a lost cause, Matthew stalked away, feeling a lot of eyes on his back. His own eyes were on the floor as his face burned with humiliation. He shouldn’t have lost control at a memorial service, particularly not this one, but he was sick of everything being out of his hands. Especially with Ethan and his damn morals. This was the same Ethan who had broken dozens of hospital rules to secretly treat Naveen last year for god’s sake…

Matthew wanted to leave. Every time he looked at a picture of Danny or Bobby, he saw Rafael in their place, dying for him. He hated every fake smile and gentle conversation he had with someone else who was grieving: they wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. The smell of food made him feel sick, but it seemed like every time he had a chance to escape, someone else wanted to chat to him and he couldn’t say no.

At long last, the crowd thinned out and people said their goodbyes. Jackie was at the bar and Matthew wondered how long she had been there for as Bryce wandered over to him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Sorry I haven’t been able to see you before now,” Bryce said, opening his arms for a big hug. It helped a little. “Though I thought you’d have gone by now.”

“I want to. Except I really want to see Raf. But Jackie can’t drive herself home.”

They both glanced back to the bar. Bryce nodded.

“Go see Raf. I’ll make sure Jackie gets home.”

“Thanks Bryce.”

Matthew slipped outside and called Raf first, then five minutes later he was running through the rain to the nearest T station. By the time he turned up at the house, thunder was rumbling and he was soaked through, to Juliana’s horror.

“Good god, Matthew, what were you thinking, walking around in the rain?! You must be freezing! Come inside before you get sick!”

She grabbed Matthew’s hand before he could say anything and practically dragged him through the house and up the stairs to the bathroom, calling to Rafael in Portuguese the whole time. Rafael met them on the landing, dressed in a long-sleeved grey t-shirt and red checked pyjama pants, looking mostly surprised at the scene.

Juliana pushed Matthew towards the bathroom, where she got the shower running, as Rafael brought out a spare pair of pyjamas for him, and taking his keys, phone and wallet in return. Juliana squeezed his hand and told him to take his time. They would be waiting in Rafael’s room.

As the water heated up, Matthew glanced around. The bathroom appliances were modern, all sleek chrome, but the wall tiles dated the room: pale yellow with a dainty pattern of purple and blue flowers. Thick, fluffy towels were folded on a wall rack next to the sink. Above the sink was a small shelf of bath lotions: all floral scented. Stepping into the shower, he saw the available shampoo was lavender. According to the label, it was supposed to be calming.

He finished up and dried off with a warm towel, rubbing it over his hair until it stood out in a damp cloud. His funeral clothes were left in the tub: Juliana had told him to leave them there to be washed, ignoring him when he said she didn’t have to. The pyjamas Rafael had left him consisted of blue pants with a star pattern, and Matthew suddenly smiled when he unfolded the t-shirt: Snoopy.

Juliana and Raf were sitting on his bed, talking quietly. They both smiled when he came in.

“Thanks for letting me use the shower.”

“Of course, darling.” Juliana stood up. “Would you two like some hot chocolate?”

They both said yes and she left to make it. Matthew sat on the edge of the bed, glancing shyly at Rafael.

“Were you OK this afternoon?” he asked.

“As well as I could be, I think,” Raf said. “I got upset, I couldn’t help it. But Mom and Dad had come over so we could be together. They went home just before you called. What about you? I’ve been worrying about you.”

“It was…It was really hard,” Matthew said, his throat tight. “My speech went OK, but…having to be there…when…” he swallowed, not looking at Raf, even when Raf moved to cover his hand with his own, and he wanted to say more but Juliana was coming back up the stairs and he couldn’t say it in front of her.

She came in to hand them both a mug of hot chocolate and said she would leave them to talk, before putting her hand on Matthew’s shoulder and telling him he was welcome to stay as long as he liked. Matthew thanked her, deeply relieved. He and Raf were quiet for a few minutes as they drank.

“Matthew…?” Raf said, gently. “What’s on your mind?”

Matthew paused, then placed his mug on the floor beside the bed. Raf did the same and watched as he twisted his hands in his lap. He scooted a little closer.

“It was my fault,” Matthew said suddenly in a rushed whisper. “I snuck into Mass Kenmore and talked the senator into transferring to Edenbrook. I thought it would generate money for the hospital, but two people are dead because I convinced this stupid senator and his crazy aide to come to Edenbrook.” He took a deep breath and carried on. “I hated having to talk about how brilliant and brave they were when I was the reason they’re dead, and everyone thanked me for speaking, I felt like such a fraud. And the whole time during the wake, I kept thinking about how it was very nearly your funeral as well. I don’t think I could have handled that,” he whispered. Tears welled in his eyes when he finally looked at Raf, who was wide-eyed.

“Matthew…”

Matthew looked away again as his hands trembled and his stomach knotted.

“None of this is your fault.”

“But if—”

“If you hadn’t told the Senator to come to Edenbrook, his aide would have attacked him regardless,” Raf said. “We were both there when he said he’d been hoping to get revenge for years. Farrugia has no one to blame but himself.” He took Matthew’s hands in his own. “There was nothing you could have done to stop this. In fact, you did everything you could. You tried to talk him down, but he was too far in his revenge obsession to see reason. Even when we were poisoned, you never stopped caring for everyone, even though you were a patient too. In my opinion you went above and beyond.” He stroked Matthew’s hands. “Don’t forget, I ran into the room when I shouldn’t have been there, and that was my own fault. Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

Matthew’s lip trembled. “I’ve really missed you!” he choked out, and then he was sobbing. Raf let go of his hands to hug him tightly, rubbing his back as Matthew cried everything out.

He clung to Raf as tightly as he could, pressing his cheek into Raf’s shoulder as his tears flowed without stopping. Now that he didn’t have to control his emotions for the sake of other funeral-goers, he couldn’t seem to stop crying. Every time he tried to calm down, he was shaken with another sob, and he was starting to feel light-headed, but then he heard Raf’s deep voice simply telling him to breathe. A simple instruction that never failed. As his sobs slowed down, his shaking subsided and his head finally felt clear again. He sat up slowly, and Raf let go of him but brushed away a tear as he did.

“I’ve missed you too,” Rafael said. “Since the summer I felt like something was missing but I didn’t know how to fill it until you came into my room and took my hand.” He took Matthew’s hand now, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. Matthew didn’t move, even though he wanted to.

“Raf…why did you choose Sora over me?” he asked quietly. “You said you wanted to see how things go with him…but as far as I knew, things were going really well with us and then you just…ended it.” He swallowed, trying not to cry again. “I just wanna know…otherwise it’ll play on my mind.”

Guilt crossed Raf’s face as he turned to face Matthew properly.

“I’ll tell you,” he said. “But first, I want you to know that I didn’t cheat on you.”

“I believe you.” And he did. Rafael didn’t have a dishonest bone in his body.

Rafael nodded as he sat back against the head board.

“OK. Umm…well, to start with, we agreed to break up because he was moving across the country for college, whereas I was staying in Boston; there was no bad blood, we were just moving in different directions. Then I started studying and got my paramedic license and started working for Edenbrook. By the time I met you, I had actually almost forgotten about him.”

Matthew nodded, taking it in. He wondered where this was going. Rafael scratched the back of his neck as he tried to explain.

“The thing is…Matthew, you’ve achieved so much in a short space of time and I’ve always been, and still am, so proud of you. I’ve always thought you’d have the world at your feet…but I’m not the same. I didn’t think I’d ever leave Boston.”

“Raf…”

“I’d never want to hold you back in your life or career. When Sora came back to town, he just asked if I wanted to catch up, and we did, and we got on really well. It made me think that…maybe I was better suited to someone like Sora. It seemed like fate was trying to tell me stay in my lane. And then after I broke up with you, word got round that Dr Ramsey was going to work in the Amazon for a while, and it just felt like a confirmation that I’d made the right choice…that is to say, the safe choice.”

Matthew looked at Rafael silently as he tried to wrap his head around what he’d just said. He’d never imagined that Raf thinking Matthew was too good for him was the cause. If anything, he’d thought the opposite.

“You thought…you weren’t good enough for me?” he said eventually, and Raf nodded, looking anguished. Matthew shook his head, dumbfounded.

“I…you…Jesus, Raf, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re a smart man but that was really idiotic!”

“I know,” Raf said, quickly blinking his own tears away. “I’m so sorry, Matthew. I fucked up.”

Matthew had never heard Raf swear before, and it caught him by surprise.

“I can’t disagree with that,” he said, softening a little. “Because you did. But Raf…I care about you so much. And if anything, I always thought that maybe you were too good for me.”

“What?” Raf blinked. “How could I be?”

“Exactly!”

They looked into each other’s eyes…and then started to laugh. They couldn’t stop for a few minutes. The air was clear and a certain freedom had settled between them.

“I’m really sorry I hurt you, Matthew,” Raf said, gently. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

Matthew shifted closer to Raf, reaching for his hand and linking their fingers together.

“Listen. I appreciate and accept your apology, but I don’t need to hear anymore. I’m here because I want to be with you, and I want to give you a second chance. I forgive you. So don’t obsess over apologising, or feeling like you have a debt to settle, I can tell you mean what you say.”

A hardly-daring-to-believe-it smile was crossing Rafael’s face.

“So…you mean…?”

“Raf, I want to be your boyfriend!”

“I wanna be your boyfriend too!”

And then they were laughing again, hugging each other tightly, and everything felt right. Some of Matthew’s hurt finally melted away as Rafael rested his forehead against his and gazed at him tenderly.

“Thank you,” he said simply, and pressed his lips against Matthew’s, soft and slow. His hand traced Matthew’s cheek, as if memorising every detail of his skin. Perhaps he was reminding himself. He had memorised it before, thinking it was something he couldn’t have but would remember it in moments of sentimentality. Matthew kissed Rafael back, leaning into his touch. Rafael could have every inch of him and treasure every detail.

With nothing else they needed to say, they finished up their lukewarm chocolate, still holding hands and stealing glances at each other, smiling when their eyes met. When they were done, Raf placed their mugs on top of the dresser and sat back against the headboard, holding out an arm inviting Matthew to cuddle. He didn’t need telling his twice and instantly curled into in, resting his head on Raf’s shoulder. God, he’d missed him. It was so wonderful to just be able to hold him.

“Is everything else OK?” Raf asked. “You still look very tired.”

“Hmm…”

“Have you been having nightmares too?”

“Every night,” Matthew sighed. “Just…I don’t remember them exactly, but it’s always that I’m on my own and I can’t find you and I know that you’re in trouble but I can’t help.”

“Me too,” Raf admitted. “I remember this overwhelming feeling of helplessness…and that’s not really something I was used to feeling.”

“Do you talk to your grandma about it?”

“Not in depth. She knows I have nightmares but when it’s something she can’t help with…I don’t want her to be worrying about me any more than she already does.”

“I get that. Sienna helps me through it if it gets too much but…”

“She doesn’t fully get it?”

“No. She tries but…there’s something missing.”

He held on to Raf tightly, sharing his warmth, and listening to his strong, beating heart. Back in July he had listened to Rafael’s heartbeat during a dance he wasn’t sure they should share, thinking he could only have that small moment to pretend everything was OK.

“Raf? If the nightmares are too much, you can talk to me. I don’t even mind if you have to wake me up to do it, as long as I can help you.”

“Thank you, and the same goes for you. I’ll be here, whenever you need, I promise.”

Matthew traced his fingers along Raf’s arm.

“Will you cuddle me? It might help.”

Raf gave him that warm smile that he loved so much.

“Of course.”

He pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows a little before they snuggled down together. Juliana’s bed was softer than Matthew’s, with thicker pillows. Matthew practically sunk into them and wrapped his arms around Rafael, squeezing him tightly. He’d wanted to do this ever since Raf had woken up from his coma. Now that they were together, it seemed silly that he’d kept looking for reasons not to. They liked each other, they were together. Nothing else mattered.

Raf nudged Matthew gently.

“Turn on to your other side?”

Matthew did so, smiling when Raf cuddled up behind him, enveloping him in his arms and nuzzling his neck, kissing his cheek. His body felt different, but he didn’t care. The muscle would come back, but Rafael was irreplaceable. Matthew brought Raf’s hand to his lips and let his eyes slowly close. His mind drifted, and for the first time in weeks he slept without dreams.

Tags: @sazanes @rafasgirl23415 @ceruleansnake0

[huffle-dork]

Swap Across the CrystalVerse Chapter 11: Shadow City

Read Swapboys | Crystal’s AUs

Read SITCV | SATCV Masterpost | AO3 Link

Back upstairs, Jackie, Schneep, and Marvin all have their phones go off at the same time. Schneep is the first to check the message he's got. His eyes widen as he shows it to JJ, Chase, Bro, and Jackieboy. 

I think that Magnificent guy is here now. Someone else is with him too but idk who its too dark. 

Jackieboy and Chases's eyes widen too and Bro quickly pushes Jackie behind him as he looks around, eyes glowing with power. "We beat him... I guess that's good... no casualties here."

Marvin checks the message next. He gasps, leaning across the desk to get up in the librarian's face. "Look, this guy is here right now, you have to act now!" 

Meanwhile, Jackie shows Alt the message, too. 

Alt blinks and then pales as he sees the message. 

"Okay, okay, a-alright, sirs," the librarian says. 

He picks up a landline phone from the desk, presses a button, and speaks into the reciever as the loud BRAP! BRAP! of an alarm starts to play. "Attention all library patrons, please evacuate immediately. If you cannot evacuate, a staff member will show you to our hidden area." 

Immediately, there's a scramble. About half of the patrons disappear into thin air while the other half hurriedly run out of sight. Some of them leave their books behind, some of them take them with. 

Jackie frowns. "I thought the library was warded against teleporting," he says. 

"Teleporting in, yeah," Marvin says.

Alt whips around, trying to see if he can feel Magnificent's presence. "Fuck...!" He looks to the others, and nervously tells them, "O-Okay uh... for Mag be prepared for more black magic but also hypnotism! He usually goes for that first..."

"Hypnotism?" Schneep repeats, then glances at JJ. "Do you think that would work on us?" 

Only one way to find out, JJ says. 

Chase leans over to the elevator and sticks his head through the closed doors. Then he comes back. "The elevator is moving," he reports. "Either someone else has the worst timing or your Magnificent guy had to use it." 

"Heh. Kinda funny, actually," Marvin says. He pulls his mask down and the tattoos on his hands start to glow. "Okay, let's make our stand." 

Jackie turns into a wolf. He stumbles a bit, making a small whining sound, and licks the burns on his side before turning back to the elevator and growling.

Alt looks back towards the door with determination. He just hopes he has enough magic... it's been a while since he refueled. He then blinks and digs something out of his pocket and calls out to Jackieboy, "Jackie! Catch!" 

Jackieboy pops out from behind Bro and fumbles to catch Alt's pocket knife. 

Alt grins. "You said you were getting better with knives, right?" 

Jackieboy smiles and nods, flicking the blade open. 

Bro eases into a fighting stance, watching the door like a hawk.

And then... the doors open.

The metal doors go flying off as purple and green electricity blast them. Magnificent emerges from the debris with a shit eating grin, his eyes reflective in the low light. "Well well well~! The annoyances beat us here it seems!" He tilts his head back with a sick grin, power radiating off him as he laughs, "Perfect." 

In a burst of static, he suddenly appears behind Marvin and tries to grab him.

Marvin spins around but is too slow to avoid Mag. He yelps in surprise and squirms against him. 

"What the--hey!" Schneep shouts, turning around. Jackie also turns, growling, and the two of them rush at Magnificent at the same time. 

Magnificent grabs Marvin by his arm and holds him tightly, giggling as he digs his claws into his skin. "Hello there, Marvin~! So nice to meet you!" He sees Jackie and Schneep attempting to get to him and wipes out a hand to send a blast of magic at them, driving them back. He then laughs and focuses on Marvin, trying to drain his magic.

Jackie and Schneep fall backwards, skidding across the floor. 

“N-no! Marvin!” Schneep gasps. 

Meanwhile, Anti strolls casually out through the broken elevator doors and scans the library. And his eyes land on one person in particular. He grins. "Oh hey, JJ! Are these the fucks you keep ditching me for?!" 

JJ backs away, fear and shock taking over his face. He unconsciously reaches up for his neck, checking that the high collar of his shirt is in place. As he adjusts it, he briefly reveals the scars on his neck he was hiding behind it. Some sort of terrible tearing happened there.

Alt stiffens as he hears the new voice and takes in his appearance. Jesus- this Anti really looked like him! Even his eyes! He shudders and trembles back and sees the scar of Jameson's neck. His eyes widen. 

Bro also seems disturbed by the sight of Anti but he steps in front of the others and growls, "Listen- I dunno who you think you are! But- Back off!"

“And I don’t know who you are, and I don’t care.” Anti bares his fangs. “But you look tough. Are you?” And he lunges for Bro. 

Bro bares his teeth and quickly manages to grab Anti's blow and throw him back. "The name's Bro Fantastic, you best remember it!"

Anti staggers backwards, laughing. "Wow--that's fucking ridiculous. But okay." His eyes drift over to Jackieboy. He grins and lunges for him next. 

Bro growls and then shouts as he sees Anti sprint around him to grab Jackieboy. 

Jackieboy shouts and tries to hold out the knife to defend himself but he quickly gets tackled to the ground. He tries to kick Anti off him. "H-Hey! Let go!!" 

Marvin gasps as Magnificent starts draining his magic. It flows freely, a sour power that burns slightly—but is strong and vivid. Marvin slumps, eyes rolling back in his head… 

Magnificent hisses slightly as he drains some of the magic but soon laughs as he feels it merge with his own. 

"No!" Alt shouts, trying to glitch over to help. But, then he stops and his eyes widen. 

Marvin’s tattoos start to glow brightly, so bright that the ones on his arms and torso can be seen through the fabric of his clothes. 

“I w o n ‘ t l e t y o u,” says a voice from his mouth—and suddenly a wave of green light bursts outward, a wave of concussive force.

Magnificent looks confused but then cries out and gets blasted back as the force hits him. He skips across the floor and is momentarily disoriented. 

Alt now glitches over to help, "M-Marvin?!"

Marvin's head lolls, eyelids fluttering. He's not unconscious, but he's on the very edge of it. 

Schneep also rushes over, checking him over. "H-his skin is hot," he gasps. 

Jackie growls and jumps for Magnificent, planning to pin him to the ground. 

Alt looks over Marvin with worry. Is there anything he can do to help? He stiffens though as Magnificent staggers to his feet behind them and laughs loudly. "What incredible power!" He licks his lips like a hungry cat and then lunges to try to grab Marvin again, just narrowly dodging Jackie's jaws. 

Alt glitches in front of him and tries to keep Mag back. He manages to make an electric bubble around him, Marvin and Schneep. 

Jackie misses attacking Magnificent and turns around, growling, getting in between him and Alt's electric bubble. 

"Jackie no you are still injured!" Schneep asks. "Damn it! Alt, let me out of here so I can kick this man's ass!" 

Anti laughs, grabbing Jackieboy tightly. Then, suddenly, he bites down on Jackieboy's shoulder, fangs passing right through his clothes. Blood is drawn. It feels so wrong. 

Jackieboy gasps and lets out a strangled scream as he's bitten, his back arching. He kicks weakly with his feet and tries to pull away but- his body is freezing up, feeling weak. 

Anti! No! JJ rushes forward, trying to pull Jackieboy free. Anti stops biting and smiles a blood-stained smile at JJ. "Oh? Why don't you help me instead?" 

JJ stops, quickly backing up, looking suddenly terrified. 

Bro screams in rage and tries to tackle Anti off of Jackieboy. 

Anti yelps as Bro knocks him away, but then laughs some more. "Alright then! Let's try again!" And he tries to bite Bro's arm.

Bro has an arm holding Anti down, the other reaching up to punch his lights out as power blooms in his eyes. He then screams and nearly crashes to the floor as Anti's teeth sink into his arm. 

Jackieboy curls up on the ground, gripping where Anti bit him as his vision swims. 

Alt feels panic rising up in his chest as he breathes and tries to keep the shield up. At Schneep's shout, Alt grits his teeth and drops it for just a second. "F-Fine! I'll protect Marvin!" 

"Oh.. will you now, pet?" Magnificent grins sinisterly. But, the mutt is in his way. He sees his injuries and laughs, building up more purple fire in his hands, "Awww... is the puppy dog hurting? Here... lemme help~!" He lunges to attack him. 

Jackie the wolf quickly dodges by jumping to the side. As soon as the shield flickers down for a moment Schneep runs out, reaching into the pocket of the coat he's wearing and pulling out something thin and made of metal--a scalpel. He slashes it towards Mag. 

Magnificent laughs more, his eyes filled with madness. He hardly takes notice of Schneep until the scalpel is cutting down his arm. He staggers back then growls, throwing purple fire towards him. 

Alt's head whips over to the sound of his friends and he hesitates- then glitches out of the shield and leaves it in tact, going to try to grab Anti and glitch him away.

Schneep ducks and dodges, going faster than humanly possible in order to avoid the near-point-black blast of magic. He laughs. "They said you were powerful! They must have overestimated you!" 

While Schneep distracts Mag, Jackie jumps for him from behind. 

Magnificent roars in anger and tries to lash out his claws at Schneep. He doesn’t see Jackie until he’s tackled face first to the floor by the heavy weight. He growls and lashes out to find one of Jackie’s burns, trying to pump it full of even more black magic. 

Anti's eyes light up with sadistic delight as he drains Bro's blood. He doesn't even notice Alt grabbing him until it's too late. "Whoa!" he shouts after the glitching. "Fucking lightning magic!" 

Bro slumps to the floor, disoriented and dizzy. 

Anti twists around to look at Alt, grinning. "So? Now what?" And then he looks at JJ. "Come on, don't you want to help me?"

JJ covers his ears, as if that can help. "Come on." Anti's eyes turn red. "Help me." 

Alt breathes heavily, looking at his other self with wide eyes. His friends’ blood was dripping from his lips. Anger burns bright around him as his magic reacts to his rage, bright arcs of electricity sparking. But, his stomach drops as he sees Anti’s eyes turn red. 

It turns out covering his ears doesn't work at all. JJ suddenly lunges towards Alt. 

Alt glitches away, crouching down on the ground as he looks at JJ with slight fear. He then roars in rage and gathers up electricity to shoot at Anti.

Jackie yelps, jerking backwards, falling to the side as Magnificent pushes more black magic into his system. 

"No!" Schneep rushes forward, pulling Jackie back-- 

And then suddenly a face appears in front of Magnificent, a pale face without any eyes. "I've never done this before, but I think you deserve it," Chase says, and leans forward, disappearing. Suddenly, Magnificent feels cold all over, down to his very core. 

Magnificent shouts out in surprise as Chase appears in front of him. He gasps as he enters his body and shudders. He grips at his head and yells out, “F-Fucking specter! Get out of me!” 

Anti dodges the blast Alt shoots at him, laughing. "Vamps are faster than you think," he says. "For example--" And his eyes turn red again. JJ suddenly attacks Alt from behind.

Alt staggers back, his fear evident on his face. He feels JJ behind him and manages to glitch away again. But, spots are starting to dance in his eyes. Still- he’s not out yet. His eyes burn green-white and then glitches over take his body- and out pops a black fox that snarls and rushes at Anti with a burst of electricity.

"Holy fucking shit!" Anti is not expecting the transformation, and immediately gets tackled by the fox, raising his arms to defend his face from the teeth and claws. After a struggle, he manages to throw the fox Alt off, and scrambles backwards. 

Alt snarls and claws and bites as much as he can before he gets thrown off. He barks at Anti, electricity snapping around him like live wires.

{Sorry,} Chase's voice says in Magnificent's head. {But I can't let you hurt my friends.} The cold gets heavier, and it's hard for him to move. But he feels himself get to his feet anyway. 

"I can do this for a little while, I think," Chase says through Mag's voice. 

Magnificent tries to scream and claw his way back to control- but he can’t. 

Schneep looks at Mag--Chase--impressed. "Nice!" he says, and Jackie barks and wags his tail. 

Jackieboy and Bro push themselves up and looks at Chase possessing Mag with wide eyes. “W-Well… that’s one way to stop him.” Bro says, trying to push himself up to his feet. 

Jackieboy can’t really seem to keep his eyes on Mag like this, gripping at his shoulder. 

Anti glances towards Magnificent, currently being possessed. And for a moment, he looks impressed. Then he shakes his head. "Fuck this." He gets to his feet, bleeding from various wounds, and walks around the circulation desk. "JJ, come home when the sun rises, we'll talk more then," he says. Then he ducks down and disappears into a shadow.

Alt yells out as Anti leaves and tries to stop him, transforming back and skidding in a collection of electricity and glitches right at the shadow’s edge. He looks at it and then yells out in anger, hitting his fist against the floor. 

JJ sighs in relief as soon as Anti is gone. He still looks a bit nervous, but with Mag also temporarily taken care of, the situation is a lot better. 

Sorry, Alt, he says.

Alt doesn't see JJ's apology as he's focused on the shadow.

"It won't last long," Chase says. "Is there any way you could knock him out or something?" 

Bro blinks and then grins, "Oh I could do that! I love doing that." He gets up and grabs Mag and starts to wind up a punch. But then he stops, "...wait this wont hurt you will it?" He asks Chase. 

"I mean... I can't really feel all that much, actually." Chase looks down and flexes Mag's fingers. "It's all weirdly numb. I could feel more as a ghost. So, it probably won't hurt." He smiles--such a sincere expression is strange to see on Mag's face. "So go ahead." 

Bro does look weirded out by seeing such a soft expression on Mag's face. So- he doesn't hesitate to knock the mad magician's lights out. Mag's body crashes to ground with little resistance. 

After Mag collapses, Chase's form lifts away from it, stretching. "Huh. It's weird, being in a body feels so... heavy." 

JJ turns his attention to Bro and Jackieboy and hurries over. It shouldn't be bleeding too much. Do you have bandages? 

Meanwhile, Marvin groans, lifting his head gently. 

"Everyone wounded over here," Schneep says. "I can look at you all." He drags Jackie, still in wolf form, over by Marvin.

Jackieboy looks Schneep nervously as he comes over. "... t-this isn't gonna turn us into vampires, is it??" 

As Schneep drags the injured into one place, the shield around Marvin flickers in and out before disappearing completely and Alt sways dazedly and then slumps to the ground.

Schneep shakes his head. "No, there is a whole process to become a vampire. You must first lose most of your blood, then drink a vampire's blood, then spend a full day enclosed--Alt?!" 

Jackieboy starts to look relieved at Schneep's explanation then jumps as he hears Alt fall. "Alt!" 

JJ hurries over and helps Alt up, guiding him over to the rest of the group. 

Alt dazedly blinks up at JJ and bonelessly lets himself be lead to the others, more spots dancing in his eyes. 

Bro hurries over and guides Alt to sit down, worriedly checking his temperature. "... I think he just used too much magic..." He mumbles. 

Alt slumps onto Bro's shoulder and mumbles quietly, "...'dun like vamp're me... s'aprick..." 

He really is a prick, isn't he? JJ agrees. 

Alt laughs loopily at JJ's signs and nods. 

Bro pushes back his hair with a bit of worry. 

Marvin raises his head. "...d' we w'n?" he mumbles.

Jackieboy looks down at Marvin and then laughs, patting his shoulder. "Yeah we did... you okay, mate?"

"Head hurts," Marvin groans. His eyes flicker over to Alt. And he reaches out and grabs Alt's wrist. "Schn'p, put my mask back on." 

Schneep nods, and does so. Marvin's tattoos flicker with light, and Alt suddenly feels a jolt of energy. 

"Wait a--Marvin you fucking idiot!!!" Schneep grabs Marvin's wrist and snatches back. 

"'m fine," he mumbles. "Th' mask helps. I stored some spare in there. Worry 'bout Jackie." 

Jackie lies where he is, ears drooping. "Oh... Jackie, we are getting you to the hospital right away," Schneep says softly.

Alt blinks blearily and then jolts slightly as he gets a burst of energy. He looks down at his hands and then back at Marvin in disbelief. "W-Why?" 

Marvin smiles weakly at Alt. "Looked like you needed it." 

YOU needed it, you dumbass, JJ says. 

"Yeah. But Alt's a visitor... Seemed, uh... right." 

Alt smiles gratefully at Marvin then quickly drags his bag out and digs through it, "I-I...! I can try a purification spell...! To help Jackie..."

Schneep looks at Alt. "That would be great, Alt. Anything would help." Jackie inches closer to Alt, putting his big wolf head on his lap.

Jackieboy looks at everyone and then swallows, "Should we all just... go to the hospital? T-Try to rest?" 

"I dunno... Mag might not be out for long..." Bro mumbles. 

Schneep looks at the unconscious Mag. "Yes, people do not tend to stay knocked out for long when you hit them. Maybe we can find something to tie him up." 

Bro looks around the area, trying to think of something to tie up Mag.

Behind the circulation counter are some stretchy belts, similar to seatbelts. Most of them are binding stacks of books but in this situation it's probably fine to take them. 

Alt jumps slightly as Jackie lays on his lap. Then, he laughs. He gently pats his head and hurries to look for a purification spell. 

After a bit he finds the spell and starts to trace sigils over Jackie's burns, runes of light left hovering over them. He then finds Jackie's heart and holds his hand over it, pushing some magic into it with a whispered spell word. Light races from his heart towards the burns and the sigils pulse with magic then the light rushes over the wound like a wave, taking any sign of corruption away. 

Alt sways a bit again, a little dizzy but manages to shake it off. He smiles down at Jackie, "...I think that just takes care of the black magic... you might still need to get some things for the burns..."

Jackie nods at him. He backs away, sitting up... and transforms back into a human. He sighs. "Oh thank god. I was having difficulty changing for a while there. Thought I might be stuck. You don't want to spend too long in one form as a werewolf. Thanks so much, Alt."

 Alt smiles and nods, "Glad I could help." 

"Good to see you better." Schneep smiles. "We can pick up burn ointment on the way to the hospital for Marvin." 

"I don' need the hospital," Marvin mutters. "Jus' some rest." He closes his eyes--then opens them again when Schneep shakes him. "Jeez, Schneep. I promise I'm fine." 

"Better safe than sorry," Chase says.

Bro makes an ah-ha noise as he finds the stretchy belts and then grabs one. He hurries over to Mag and ties his arms behind his back. "There! that should hold him for a bit." 

"...I still think we should try to rest-" Jackieboy mumbles, "The TRVLR hasnt exactly had the greatest track record getting us home..."

“Well… if you all wish to rest, and if Marvin is sure he doesn’t need a hospital,” Schneep says slowly, “I think my flat is the closest to the library. I assume. I do not know where JJ lives.” 

Anti is probably going to be there, anyway, JJ says. And I’m sure none of you want to see him.

Alt narrows his eyes at this. He looks at JJ, "... what's his deal with you? He... he was... was controlling you."

JJ sighs. He looks tired. Anti is the vampire who made me. 

"Ohhh, that bitch was here?" Marvin says. "Man, wish I hadn't fucking... passed out. I would've punched him." 

"Alt beat him up on your behalf, don't worry," Chase says. 

Alt beams and looks proud and Bro ruffles up his hair, much to his displeasure. 

JJ chuckles a little. He does deserve it. As for how he was controlling me... there's a ritual a vampire can do while making another. In the period where their body is enclosed. It binds the new vampire to them, meaning that they have to follow commands given by them and can't go too far away from them. 

"Which is super fucking illegal, by the way," Jackie says. "Every Night Council in the country has forbidden it." 

Funny enough, that law went into effect the year after I was made, JJ says. Which makes me think Anti planned it that way. He shakes his head. He's not the worst vampire out there, I think. He has moments of humanity. But still... He gestures vaguely around them. 

The swaps then look horrified. 

“T-That’s… that’s awful…” Alt says quietly, shivering just thinking of having to follow every order given- never being to stray from the one who hurts you. He glances at Mag. “Sounds absolutely like something Mag would do…” 

Jackieboy mutters. “Even if he’s not that bad- he still bit the shit out of us. Let’s head over to Schneep’s flat and rest up. …at least for as long as we can before cat face wakes up.”

JJ sighs. It was worse in the beginning. I’m just glad that I have these guys now, as friends. 

Marvin nods. “We’re tryin’ ev’rything we can to help.” 

Schneep leans over and pats JJ on the shoulder. “Very well. Let’s go. I am sure Jack is waiting for us anxiously. Those who can teleport should meet us there once again.” 

————— 

Schneep’s apartment is on the second floor of a well-off apartment complex. The inside is neat, with mostly dark furniture that looks about a decade old. The living area has a comfy-looking sofa and a couple chairs, along with a coffee table, a TV stand, and some bookshelves, all tied together with a circular purple rug. A modest kitchenette is attached, with a couple stools and a counter. A hallway to the left leads to a set of closed doors, probably a bathroom and a bedroom. The front and right walls have windows, all covered in thick blackout curtains. 

“I do not have any food, but you may help yourselves to the drinks in the fridge,” Schneep says. “All of you are welcome in my flat.” 

The group piles in. Marvin has to summon Chase again, but everyone else walks in normally. 

“Bit crowded with everyone in here,” Jack comments.

“We’ll make do, your flat is really nice, Schneep!” Bro says, hoisting the still passed out Mag on his shoulder yet again. “…though man- getting real sick of carrying this guy.” 

“Maybe he’ll get brain damage from being knocked out so much.” Jackieboy snickers. 

"You can dump him on the sofa or that chair," Schneep says. "Or even on the floor, I don't really care." 

Bro unceremoniously dumps Mag on the floor and dusts off his hands. Then, he flops into a chair and checks over his bite wound. “…he bite me through my jacket! Fucking prick-“ 

"Vampire fangs are pretty sharp," Schneep says, smiling to show off his in turn. "Unless you wear something as thick as leather or very tightly woven, they tend to pierce through the smallest openings." 

Marvin and JJ crowd around the fridge, opening it up. After a moment, Marvin grabs a bottle of purple soda and passes a plastic bottle of red liquid to JJ (it's obvious what that is). 

Chase looks around. He drifts down the hallway, and back. "So you do have a mirror in your bathroom." 

"It has an aluminum back, I can see myself in it," Schneep says. 

Alt goes to glitch into a corner and digs around in his bag- finding some snacks and starting to tear into them. Jackieboy notices this and goes to hand him some more, just in case.

Jackie flops down in the nearest chair with the attitude of someone who's been here often and always sits in the same place. "Oh hey, you guys have snacks?" he asks Jackieboy. "D'you mind if I have something? I'm starving." 

Jackieboy laughs and nods, tossing him a protein bar. “See? You guys were making fun of me for taking a big backpack!” 

Alt huffs out a laugh and rolls his eyes. “We thank you for your Sage dad wisdom, Jackie.”

I'm truly very sorry for Anti, JJ says. 

"That fucker was acting more wild than me when I was a literal wolf," Jackie says. He accepts the protein bar. with a "thanks" and tears it open. 

Bro waves JJ off, “S’not your fault dude. He decided to be a motherfucking menace.” He tests his arm and nods as he can feel the punctures already starting to heal. 

Jackieboy takes out some of his first aid and starts wiping at his shoulder so at least it won’t look too bloody. Damn.. his white shirt though- 

JJ watches Jackieboy struggle with the shirt and walks over. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small test-tube-sized bottle of pale blue-green liquid, which he hands to them. 

When you next get some soap and water, wash the shirt with that. A quarter of it should be fine for that amount. 

"You sure, JJ?" Marvin asks. 

You'll just have to sell me some more, JJ says, grinning. 

Marvin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, sure." 

"Ah, Marvin, I need some more blood remover too," Schneep says. 

"Neither of you are getting discounts, by the way." The two vamps laugh. 

Jackieboy blinks and then grins, taking the bottle. “Hey thanks! I was really bummed this shirt was ruined. It’s one of my wife’s favorites.” He laughs. 

"It's a very nice shirt," Jackie agrees, grinning. "Schneep, if I got this shirt for you would you wear it?" 

"Maybe on my nights off," Schneep says. 

"It'd look good on you," Jack agrees. 

"So... now what?" Marvin asks, glancing at Mag. "We can't keep him in here forever." 

“Don’t worry,” Alt says as he hurries to finish his snacks. “I’m just fueling back up so I can get us out of here.” He shakes himself out and glitches easily over to grab a soda from the fridge and down that too. He starts to buzz with more glitches. “I need a decent amount to power the TRVLR.”

"The traveler?" Chase asks. "That's how you got here, then?"

Alt nods, pulling the device out of his pocket. “Yup- this thing is programmed to help take us to other worlds. It should be taking us home… but…” Alt’s mind wanders to his reading before and he pauses. 

“But…? Do you think you know why it’s not working?” Bro asks. 

Alt shakes his head, “no I… I still don’t know why… malfunctioning I guess but… Marvin and I read some cards earlier and… I think we still have a bit of a journey ahead…” 

Jackieboy scoffs slightly, “you got that from a card reading? Those things can’t actually tell the future…” 

Marvin raises an eyebrow. "Not normally, no. Do I need to remind you you're in a world with fucking witches and ghosts and supernatural creatures? And you think cards telling the future is absurd?" He grins. "Though I will say they're not always right." 

Jackieboy opens his mouth to argue but then quickly shuts it, turning red.

"Maybe something's happening... when you're traveling?" Chase guesses. "Like... I-I don't know what, actually. But if you can't figure out what's wrong with the thing, maybe it's something else." 

Maybe if you try heading somewhere with fancy technology they can fix it for you, JJ says.

Alt looks the TRVLR over, “I mean… it was damaged before… but it seemed to work just fine. Now it just… doesn’t. It’s not going where we want it to go.” He lets out a huff of a laugh. “…if we get lucky enough to find a place with good tech then… yeah. But… I don’t know…” 

Bro is quiet for a second before he gets up and smiles. “Well- now it’s kinda like our first trip again, huh, Alt? We don’t know where we’re gonna go next so- let’s just hope for the best!” 

Alt tries to give his brother a soft smile back. Then he sighs and glitches over, grabbing his bag and slipping it on. “…in that case though… I guess we… gotta leave.”

"Don't forget your evil version of me," Marvin says, gesturing at Magnificent. "I think leaving him here is kind of like leaving a vampire in a blood bank." 

Stealing from everyday blood banks is illegal by the Council, though, JJ says. 

"And other people need that blood," Schneep says. 

"Okay, it's like leaving a vampire with no morals in a blood bank." 

The swaps laugh. “Nah, we wouldn’t do that to you guys. He’s bad enough in our universe.” Bro shakes his head and loads Mag back onto his shoulder. Mag starts to stir, groaning, his face aching.

Jack laughs. He looks at the group and grins. "It was nice to meet you all." 

Jackieboy knocks Jack lightly on his arm, “You too! Nice to see a normal lad like me around~ keep these crazies in line, won’t you?” He teases. 

"It's practically my job at this point," Jack chuckles. "You too with your guys." 

"Yeah." Chase nods. "Nice to meet you, Bro. I know this is probably strange to see, but... you're cool. If that makes sense." 

Bro blinks at Chase and then smiles warmly. “It was nice to meet you too. It was weird at first but- you’re cool too. I hope you’ll figure all this out. Seems like you got a great team.” He smiles at the others too. 

"Thanks." Chase grins at him. 

"Maybe we can hang out more if your thing gets fixed," Jackie says, smiling.

Alt looks reluctant but then grips the TRVLR tighter, “I’m gonna come back- someday! I- I need to read things in that library! And properly look at Marvin’s shop! So… this isn’t goodbye.” He smiles, “We’ll see you all again.”

"I'm looking forward to it!" Marvin says, eyes alight with excitement. "We can exchange all the knowledge." 

"Good luck getting home," Schneep says. 

I'm glad to have met you for a while, JJ adds. 

"I hope we'll meet again," Jackie waves goodbye to them.

Alt nods with a grin and goes to grab the others. Jackieboy and Bro wave as Alt opens up the TRVLR and hits the jump button, bracing for their next jump.

They fall into nothing, and--it's almost expected by now what will happen. Their course shifts, like a swimmer caught in the rip tide and being pulled out to sea.

[whymustyouhurtmeinthisway]

Finally read Soul Eater vol. 14 three entire months after initially buying it, and I gotta say, it was fine.

I’m enjoying the series for sure, Crona’s story is captivating as always and I’m interested to see where it goes, but man, the pacing seems to get worse and worse as the chapters go on. Like I’ve talked before about how the series skyrocketed way harder in scope size than it probably should’ve, but Jesus.

The series is so cool in concept, basically all the characters are so sick, I love so many of the ideas and plotlines, and the artstyle is one of the best I’ve seen in manga ever (or really in general ever), but I find it just fumbles the execution not enough to ruin it, but just enough to frustrate you.

Outside of the scale/scope thing I talked about before, there are just so many ideas that start out cool as fuck but then eat shit on the landing. Like Soul’s corruption to the imp has been building up more and more since even before the kishin was released, with him using more and more of its powers hinting towards some huge unraveling where everything comes loose and he becomes a big chaotic threat with a big arc about rescuing him. In the end that kinda happened, and his chaos form was pretty cool, except he got over it in like a chapter and everything’s cool now (though I will say his conversation with the imp and whole character struggle is cool)

Honestly now that I mention it, Soul’s a weird character for me, where I think his internal struggle and arc are interesting and I enjoy them, but I just have no thoughts about him as a character outside of that. I just can’t really think of anything about how he acts outside of his own head that really endears me to him, I find him just kinda bland. The majority of his time acting normally around others really doesn’t display much personality I find, which is unfortunate considering how cool his internal arc and piano thing are.

Speaking of characters, god there are a lot of them aren’t there? From what I can tell Atsushi Ohkubo kinda runs into a rare writer issue, being “I have more ideas than I know what to do with”. He just seems to have so many sick character ideas in his head that he can’t help but add to the series, but as he keeps adding them he finds he can’t handle the increasing responsibility of actually using them all well in the story.

Like think of how many characters are at least active by volume 14:

We of course have the main 7 (Maka, Soul, Black☆Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz, Patty)

Then another 7 in the rest of the Spartoi (Kiriko, Fire, Thunder, Ox, Harvar, Kim, Jackie),

Then we can add on the 5 (important) DWMA staff members (Death, Spirit, Stein, Sid, Mira)

Then the 6 other Death Scythes (Marie, Azusa, Justin, Tezca, Dengu, Djinn)

And the 5 members of Medusa’s (former) gang (Crona, Ragnarok, Free, Eruka, Mizune family)

And the 4 surviving members of Noah’s gang after that fell apart like wet toilet paper (Noah, Gopher, Index, the Clown)

And the 3 elder gods we know besides Death (Eibon, Asura, that dude in Eibon’s book)

And 7 assorted characters who are (presumably) somewhat important but don’t fit into any other categories (Blair, Imp, Excalibur, Maba, Angela, Akane☆Hoshi, Clay Sizemore, probably more I forgot)

That’s 44 characters in total, and that’s only including the ones who are alive and shown to be at least somewhat involved in the current conflict and/or important in the world as a whole, which seems to me as very clearly being a lot to keep track of in a series as quickly paced as this one

Anyways, this is a lot of words to say Soul Eater’s very good so far, but I really wish it just got to reach the full potential of its ideas more than it ended up being able to

[archvillain-bea]

BRAWL STARS HEADCANONS LET'S GO

• brawl stars takes place in a future timeline, where humans and robots are learning to coexist. (in other words, sam is basically racist towards robots💀)

• it's also in a parallel universe where people can only truly die due to natural causes. that's why there are weapons and explosions and violence everywhere. it's normal to them.

• brawling is considered a sport, lots of amusement parks have brawling events all day long, they're popular and people watch them a lot. anyone can go through trials, but they have to do training sessions to officially become a brawler for the park.

• starr park has had many allegations of exploiting its staff and brawlers. they are manipulative as hell, to the point they can put their staff through hell and have them put all the blame on each other. the brawlers themselves are not under mind control, but there have been cases of mind control to employees who had failed to comply with orders.

(wow that got dark real fast, but worry not, here come the fun ones!)

• shelly, colt and bull are in a polyam relationship, colt is the only one of them who can't speak spanish, shelly speaks broken english, that leads to funny shenanigans.

• el rudo is not el primo dressed differently, that's actually his twin brother.

• jacky and carl went from coworkers who can't stand each other, to frenemies, to lovers. it took a lot for them to admit they actually had feelings for each other, though, they both thought it was embarrassing.

dynamike was their shipper since day one though.

• bea is an adult, but she gets mistaken for a child a lot. sometimes she will just be minding her business and someone will approach and ask where her mom is. it pisses her off😭

people also make bri-ish jokes towards bea but she likes those.

• gray is deaf and mute. he became a mime and silent film actor, and actually paints himself black and white every day. he's a really fun man.

• amber is banned from a lot of places, for obvious reasons. most notable example, the snowtel. she went once and melted everything.

→ let me know if you want a part 2, or a headcanon post dedicated to a specific character!!

[justforbooks]

Sir Bobby Charlton, who has died aged 86, was one of the greatest footballers England has ever produced. He was certainly the most successful, the only English player to win all of football’s major honours – the FA Cup, Football League and European Cup with Manchester United, and the World Cup with England, accumulating a record number of international caps and goals.

As captain of United in 1968, when they were the first English team to win the European Cup, and a key player in the 1966 World Cup-winning team, he was the embodiment of a golden age of English football. But he was also involved in one of the game’s darkest moments, the 1958 Munich air disaster, in which eight of his team-mates, three United staff and a further 12 passengers were killed.

Charlton was renowned for his raking passes and explosive long-range shots, with either foot, and was blessed with speed, athleticism and perfect balance.

Some commentators say he was a scorer of great goals rather than a great goal scorer, but the statistics undermine that claim. For England, he scored 49 in 106 appearances, and he was United’s highest all-time scorer, with 249 in 758 games, until 2017, when his record was beaten by Wayne Rooney.

But it was his modesty and gentlemanly demeanour, as much as his outstanding ability, that won him admiration far beyond Manchester and England. At the height of his fame in the mid to late 60s, when London and the counterculture were in full swing, one of the world’s most famous Englishmen was an old-fashioned sporting hero. Across the world, the first or only two words of English many people could speak were “Bobby Charlton”.

He was born in the Northumberland mining village of Ashington, the second of four sons of Robert Charlton, a miner, and his wife, Elizabeth, known as Cissie, who came from the famous Milburn football family. Four of her brothers were professional footballers and her cousin was the Newcastle United and England centre-forward Jackie Milburn. Bobby’s elder brother, Jack, also became a footballer, and, although not as gifted as his younger brother, he enjoyed a distinguished career as a centre-half for Leeds United, and later as a successful manager. Jack and Bobby were England team-mates in 1966.

Most Ashington boys went down the pit on leaving school (as Jack did briefly before joining Leeds), but from a young age it was apparent that Bobby would become a footballer. He passed the 11-plus but attending the local grammar was unthinkable because it was a rugby-playing school. However, he was such a prodigy that his headteacher – with encouragement from Cissie – arranged a place at another nearby school, the football-playing Bedlington grammar.

In his last year at school, he played four times for England schoolboys, scoring five goals, and football scouts from across Britain were soon knocking at the family’s door. He received offers from 18 clubs in all, but was charmed by Manchester United’s chief scout, Joe Armstrong, and signed for them in 1953.

Apart from a brief swansong with Preston North End and then Waterford, in Ireland, it was to be his only club, and an inspired choice. Not only were United a club on the rise, but their inspirational manager, Matt Busby, was prepared to give youth its head, assembling a precociously talented young team that played with swagger and flair, capturing the nation’s imagination and earning them the nickname the Busby Babes. They swept all before them to win the First Division (the equivalent of today’s Premier League) in 1955-56, and retained the title the following season, in which Charlton scored twice on his debut, against Charlton Athletic, on 6 October 1956.

As champions, United entered the European Cup, the first English side to do so, and reached the semi-finals in 1957. A year later they beat Red Star Belgrade in the quarter-finals, with Charlton, now an established first-teamer, scoring three goals over the two legs. On the flight back from Belgrade the following day, the team’s plane stopped to refuel in Munich. In freezing conditions, it crashed and burst into flames while attempting to take off from the snowy runway.

Charlton was catapulted 40 yards from the plane, still strapped into his seat, and clear of the burning wreck. He woke minutes later, suffering only from shock and minor cuts. He later described his escape as a miracle, but it would haunt him for the rest of his life. The grief of witnessing friends perish left its mark, turning an already shy young man into an introspective one. Many close to him, including Busby and his brother Jack, said that Bobby changed for ever after Munich. “He never got over Munich,” said Busby. “He felt responsible. Those were his kids that died that day.”

Characteristically, Jack was more blunt. In his 1996 autobiography, he wrote: “I saw a big change in our kid from that day on. He stopped smiling, a trait which continues to this day.” The book lifted the lid on the brothers’ strained relationship – they barely spoke for many years, partly due to the cooling of relations between Norma (nee Ball), Bobby’s wife, whom he married in 1961, and his wider family, in particular Cissie, to whom he did not pay a visit in the final four years of her life. Fortunately Bobby and Jack were reconciled before Jack’s death in 2020.

Despite all the success and veneration that would come Charlton’s way, he always carried a slight air of melancholy. He was not withdrawn, however, on the football field, where he exuded the freedom, desire and commanding presence characteristic of great athletes.

Just 23 days after Munich, Charlton was back playing for United, and for the remainder of that traumatic season, and indeed the next decade, he was the foundation stone on which Manchester United were rebuilt. Showing remarkable spirit, United reached the FA Cup final within three months of the disaster, with a patched-up team of youth players, stop-gap signings and four players who had survived the crash. There was a tide of public sympathy behind them, but they lost the game 2-0 to Bolton Wanderers.

On 19 April, shortly before the Cup final, Charlton made his England debut, scoring in a 4-0 win against Scotland at Hampden Park. He scored twice more in his second game, against Portugal at Wembley, and this earned him a place in the squad for the World Cup in Sweden that summer. It was the first of his four World Cup squads (another record for an Englishman), though he did not get off the bench in Sweden. By the 1962 World Cup in Chile, he was a first-choice player and scored against Argentina as England reached the quarter-finals before losing to the eventual champions, Brazil.

As hosts of the 1966 World Cup, England made a disappointing start, with a 0-0 draw against Uruguay. It was in the second game, against Mexico, that Charlton lit up England’s hopes with a magnificent goal, running from his own half with the ball before unleashing a trademark thunderbolt shot. In the semi-final against Portugal, he had the international game of his life, scoring both goals in the 2-1 win that put England into the final.

He had a relatively quiet game in the 4-2 final victory against West Germany, given the task by the England manager, Alf Ramsey, of marking the brilliant young Franz Beckenbauer, who had been told to mark Charlton, so that they largely cancelled each other out. But the battle between the two best players on the pitch was pivotal to the game’s outcome, as Beckenbauer acknowledged years later: “England beat us in 1966 because Bobby Charlton was just a bit better than me.” Ramsey declared that Charlton was “very much the linchpin of the 1966 team”, and he was voted player of the tournament. He ended the season not only as a world champion but as Footballer of the Year and European Footballer of the Year, too.

There was to be one last World Cup hurrah, in Mexico in 1970. He was 32 by then and, although he was still perhaps England’s best player, in the quarter-final, again against West Germany, with England winning 2-1, Ramsey controversially substituted Charlton to conserve his energy for what seemed like a certain semi-final. But the Germans came back to win 3-2 and England were out. It was Charlton’s record 106th cap – the game in which he passed Billy Wright’s tally, and a record that stood until passed by Rooney in 2015 – and his last, an unsatisfactory end to a glittering international career.

His halcyon days with England coincided with Manchester United’s post-Munich renaissance. By the mid-1960s Busby had built his second great team, Charlton now at the heart of it, playing as an attacking midfielder. The line-up included the Northern Irishman George Best and the Scot Denis Law, who together with Charlton formed a dazzling forward line that reignited the legend of the Busby Babes. They were brilliant individuals (in the space of five years, all three were named European Player of the Year) and together helped United win the FA Cup in 1963 and the league title in 1964-65 and 1966-67.

Ten years after the Munich disaster, United finally realised Busby’s dream of playing in a European Cup final, against the Portuguese club Benfica. United won 4-1 at Wembley, with Charlton scoring twice and lifting the cup as captain. For him and Bill Foulkes, the only two crash survivors in the team, and for Busby, it was an overwhelming evening. After the match, while the rest of the team celebrated, Charlton was so exhausted that he could not get off his hotel bed to go downstairs and join the party. Busby retired as manager a year later, and United went into slow decline, though Charlton played on until 1973.

With his playing career over, he felt uncertain about what to do next, and simply waited for the phone to ring. It was three weeks before it did, and he accepted the first offer that came his way, to manage Second Division Preston North End. The club were relegated in his first season in charge, and he resigned the next. It was a chastening experience after so many illustrious years as a player, and he never returned to full-time management.

He had more success in the media, working as a BBC football pundit, and in 1978 he also set up the innovative Bobby Charlton Soccer Schools, which provided top-level coaching to young players. In 1984 he returned to Manchester United as a director. He developed a close bond with the United manager Alex Ferguson, and his diplomacy and peerless standing in the game made him the perfect ambassador for the club as it developed into a global sporting brand in the 90s. Such qualities were not lost on other sporting bodies, and Charlton, who was knighted in 1994, was an automatic choice for the teams bidding to win the 1996 and 2000 Olympic Games and the 2002 Commonwealth Games for Manchester, the 2006 and 2018 World Cups for England, and London’s successful pitch for the 2012 Olympic Games.

He is survived by Norma and their daughters, Suzanne, a former BBC weather presenter, and Andrea.

🔔 Robert Charlton, footballer, born 11 October 1937; died 21 October 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[sugarrspice]

What does Chase do when he figures out what’s going on????

((Oho. Well, let's actually take a look, shall we? ;)

Ask me later, and I might have another piece about when Chase realizes it without overt confirmation.

Warnings for mentions of graphic injury, emotional and psychological manipulation.))

--

The couch is definitely fucked. There's singe marks on it from where a spell of Marvin's had been flung, wild and off-kilter, and glass glitters, embedded in the side of it from where Henrik had shattered his mug and snatched up the largest shard.

Jackie snarls, and the strings sear, hissing and popping under the weight of the heat that Jackie pushes up them.

Later, Jackie will blame it on the fact that he'd been caught in a three-way match; Marvin, blinded by furious tears and Henrik, cold and desperate. Or maybe he'd simply forgotten that Chase was slated to get home early that day, exhausted from fighting them every step of the way.

Regardless, the end outcome is the same.

Marvin screams-- howls, more like, wild and furious, as the strings brand fresh marks atop old scars, and Jackie's teeth rattle in his fucking skull. Henrik shoves himself between Jackie and Marvin, immovable as a winter storm, glass clutched in his hand like a deadly prayer.

The door slams shut. All three of them freeze-- well, Jackie does, staff levelled against Henrik's chest, and so does Henrik, immovable in front of Marvin's shuddering form.

Chase's steps pound up the stairs. "Jacks? Is everything okay? I heard someone scream-"

"Chase, don't-"

"Chase, up here!"

Jackie levels a searing glare onto Henrik; Henrik tenses, and Chase slams the door open, eyes flickering wildly between the three of them. Between Marvin, curled over wrists burnt black, between Henrik and Jackie, at a stalemate.

He has his gun, drawn and to the ready, Jackie notes next, and oh, this is going to get messy.

Henrik sucks in a sharp breath, but doesn't move.

"Chase. Marvin's hurt. Jackie's not who he's been saying he is."

Jackie grimaces, and pivots, ever so slightly. Chase's face, he sees, is impassive, still, gun loose in his hand. "Look. Chaser, I can explain-"

"Shut up for a moment," Chase says, quietly. He brings the gun up; from this position, Jackie can't make out which of them he's angling it to. Judging by how Henrik carefully, carefully lowers his hands to a less threatening position- he can't, either. "Both of you."

"He's a liar," Marvin spits, from behind Henrik; his hair falls, tangled and wild, over his face, but Jackie can make out one burning eye, piercing and gold. "He's a fucking liar, and-"

"I said," Chase hisses, "shut up for a second."

He takes a step closer; the gun remains rock steady. Jackie's barely breathing, feeling for the strings. He can bring them to heel, quickly, but he needs to focus-

"Hen. You first. What happened?"

Henrik draws in a slow, ragged breath. Jackie feels him press against the end of the metal staff. "Marvin tried to cut us free of Jackson's strings. Jackson disagreed, violently."

Jackie huffs a soft laugh, a bitter smirk curling the edge of his lips. Chase doesn't look at him, but he can see the way Chase angles himself in Jackie's direction.

"Jacks. Your turn."

"Marv tried to sling a lightning bolt in my face," he hums, and shrugs, holding the staff still. "He thought he'd get rid of the strings if he got rid of me. I protected myself."

Henrik's eyes narrow, and Jackie only smiles back, mirthlessly. "I tried to protect you two. I really did. But you really try to make my job as difficult as possible."

Neither of them speak for a heartbeat; somewhere along the line, Chase has stepped up. He's side by side, now, with Jackie, and- oh.

Oh.

His gun is trained on Henrik, eyes flinty.

Jackie bites down on the smile, bright and fierce. His sunshine, his guiding star. People always did forget how easily the sun burned.

He lowers his staff before the two of them, and Chase stands, steady and unyielding. Henrik sucks in a sharp breath.

"Chase. Put the gun down. You're not-"

"I'm thinking just fine, if that's your concern," Chase cuts in, cold and smooth. "Put the glass down, Hen. Keep your hands where I can see them."

Henrik stares at him. Doesn't move. Marvin's gone dead silent, not even trembling. "Chase?"

Henrik's voice comes out as a rasp. Chase hums, and clicks the safety off; in the silence, it's louder than a gunshot would've been.

"Glass down, Hen. I don't want to see any of you hurt."

"You're defending him," Henrik says, slowly, and Marvin barks out a laugh, bitter and poisonous.

"Of course he does. It wasn't ever about any of us, and Chaser knows it. But it makes a pretty fucking lie, don't it? The golden hero, protecting his lover, protecting us."

"He did a pretty good job of it, actually," Chase snips back, and takes another step forward. The barrel of the gun is inches away from Henrik's chest, now. None of them have any questions about who can get off a shot first, if it comes to a fight. "Haven't seen hide nor hair of Anti for weeks, have you? He didn't ask shit of you, just asked for you to let him fight for you. Added a little extra assurance. But you like messy, Marv, don't you? You like needing the reason to fight, and Hen likes being needed after them."

His chest heaves in near perfect sync with his own, Jackie notes idly. One half of his heartbeat. The thing about a hearth, Jackie thinks, is that it knows the people who choose to partake in its warmth. It remembers the way they shiver at thunder, or the way that a fight leaves them wild-eyed with lightning in their blood.

Quietly, he taps one end of his staff against the scorched floor.

"I think you should drop it, Hen. You should take Marv, and go."

Henrik ignores him, still fixated on Chase. Jackie watches, fascinated, as the curve to his shoulders sags.

"You knew."

It isn't a question. Chase shakes his head.

"I suspected. This room gets pretty loud for a weapons room. Patrol doesn't burn Jacks that badly."

Jackie winces, and Chase shoots him a sharp smile. "Oh, yes, Jacks. We're going to have a nice, long talk after this."

"After," he agrees, and- oh, he knows there's an edge of- vindication to his voice, because caught out or not, Chase still chose him. Chase is still his.

(He's still Chase's.)

A knot unwinds in his chest, and he gentles his expression, lowers his staff. Henrik is shaking his head, again.

"Why?"

I thought you loved us, too. Jackie is well practiced at not wincing, at tamping down the bubbles of fondness in his throat.

Chase shrugs, takes another step forward.

"He's still mine. He is keeping us safe. And right now?"

The warm barrel of the gun rests against Henrik's chest, Chase's eyes no less steely than it.

"You're the biggest danger in this room. Last warning. Get out."

Henrik inhales, and then steps back, slowly, dropping the glass to the floor. Jackie has that- odd feeling in his gut, again, of taking a curve too quickly, too recklessly.

He bites down on it, hard, and waits, shoulder to shoulder with Chase. Things are working out fine. They'll be fine.

(Chase, at his side. Chase, not leaving. Chase, staying.)

(Oh, yeah. Things will be more than fine.)

[agentem]

I watched WAKANDA FOREVER again and thinking about Chadwick Boseman. Not just “he was a great actor” or “it’s awful that cancer takes people too soon.”

But about his purpose. When he died, there was an article with one of the friends that knew Mr. Boseman (it feels weird calling him Chadwick). And the friend said he selected his roles very carefully not just because it’s important for creative people to put something out there. Sometimes we put comedy out there to make people laugh or we write a memoir hoping to be seen. (Samuel L Jackson says he wants to make movies he would’ve seen as a kid, and I think he’s doing a good job with that purpose.)

The friend said Chadwick’s purpose was he wanted everything he put out into the world to have a positive effect. On the culture, on the world.

That means not just taking culturally conscious roles like Jackie Robinson and Thurgood Marshall. He also added his star power to August Wilson plays. And he took the role of T’Challa in CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR because he thought it would be a positive effect on the culture to see a Black superhero.

Ahe worked really hard on it. He studied capoeira, Muy Thuy, and Tae Kwon Do for BLACK PANTHER even after he found out he had cancer. (He was diagnosed in 2016, the year CIVIL WAR came out) And if I had been in his shoes, my purpose would then become to not move unless my doctor told me to because I’d be scared of the cancer.

But positive effects on the culture was what he wanted.

Ryan Coogler said in an emotional interview about how much Mr. Boseman created Wakanda because he was the only one making decisions during CIVIL WAR. He, for example, convinced the directors T’Challa should speak to his father in an African language because “why would they speak English?”

So John Kani (the actor who played T’Chaka) taught him how to say his lines in Xhosa, Kani’s own language. He wanted it to be a real African language and not, I don’t know, Dothraki. A made up thing. And that was a decision made on that day, that had a ripple effect through the future.

Because ultimately what happened with Wakanda, was this decision to use very specific cultural reference points. Not to make it look “vaguely African” or “completely made up” but to pick a specific thing from the continent of Africa. To weave the Blanket of Wakanda with real threads, that maybe don’t go together or wouldn’t be in this region, but have some real world inspiration.

More African Americans tried to learn Xhosa after BLACK PANTHER. Maybe it’s not the “correct” language for the place Wakanda is supposed to occupy on the fake map. People are connecting to a real culture that may have been ripped from them by Slavery. Maybe. (And, at the very least, also not paying Disney for a fake Wakanda dictionary like LORD OF THE RINGS have to buy for Elvish.)

That is something positive that Chadwick Boseman put out into the culture. He did that.

And it rippled out to a lot of African artists who were used for the cast and crew.

And then they have those people, who can make a Wakanda real, already on staff when they have to do it again for WAKANDA FOREVER.

Chadwick Boseman’s ripples will keep going out until all the cultures have a Marvel superhero, I think. The success of BLACK PANTHER allowed for things like SHANG CHI and MS MARVEL to be maid. (Also helped CAPTAIN MARVEL, I should add but that was already in production.)

Not only that but he’s having such a positive effect on some artists who were close to him. Coogler again talked about how he basically “had” to cast Letitia Wright as Shuri because she was the only one who could make him smile a “Chadwick Boseman” smile (lots of teeth) and not just a T’Challa (regal, restrained) smile.

And Chadwick’s positive ripples have made Letitia Wright a leading lady.

Chadwick’s ripple might get Angela Bassett the Oscar, which would make me happy in the future and Make Amber Ruffin feel positive in 1993.

I know Black people have asked to see fewer white people’s thoughts on Mr Boseman.

But, man, I have to say. If you wanted to put positive into the culture, man. You did it.

[my-brothers-corrupted]

Be safe, help each other stay grounded if he tries to put thoughts in you. You’ll always be too many to handle!

"Let's just go to him," Adrienne says, pulling JJ forward. Jackie holds out a hand in warning.

"That other one is here, too, if he's spoken with Cedar. You can't go forward without watching for him."

He hefts his staff and strikes mercilessly across the length of the hallway, checking for invisible magicians. If all you have to do is touch to make the illusion go away, Jackie isn't worried - he loves to hit things.

"So the corrupted one is your ally in this, then?" calls Cedar. "You led my sister astray."

JJ doesn't even pull his arm out from Adrienne's to speak, letting her hold onto him. "He's here to help me with things I had to do one way or another, Cedar. You used to agree with me, you knew things were wrong here."

"I can start with him, then," says Cedar.

Jackie swings out and connects with something, and he yells as it grabs his staff and kicks him in the stomach, stumbling him. He reaches up to catch Mateos's blow - but instead of the dark-eyed magician, he looks up to blue and green.

"Now, now, darling," says a voice much too familiar, even all these years later. "You are going to get yourself in a lot of trouble with all that, Red."

"Cheap shit," Jackie snarls. "You're dead. And you never get to fucking touch me again!"

He lashes out, but the false Anti is leaping back, and he glitches out of existence, and then back in - a half-dozen versions of him, surrounding all five of them, armed with knives.

"I can see your nightmares," says Cedar, from somewhere they can't see. "And Mateos can make them real."

"No, Jackie's right, you can't scare us with this," Marvin snaps. "He's gone, and this is all fake."

"Not all fake," says Cedar. "One of them is real."

"I'll fight all six," says Marvin, lashing out with fire, driving Mateos's doubles back. Henrik's just as steady beside him, gun held low, eyes bright with focus.

But JJ's eyes are closed, his hand wrapped up in Adrienne's arm, and it's as she turns to look at him that the view from the camera closest to him changes entirely.

You're in a shed, on a mountain in Peru. It's quiet, and dark, with only slats of gold light striving their way through and falling against the ground. Anti stands beside Jameson, looking perfectly human, even pretty with long hair and silver earrings. "There you go, pet," he's saying. "Doesn't it feel good to let the monster out?"

At Jameson's feet, Genesis is covered in flowing cuts. She hangs low in her chains. She's never done anything wrong to him.

He is covered in her blood.

Jameson presses down on the weight of Adrienne's arm in his own, turning away from the false Genesis. Cedar emerges from the walls of the shed, towering over Anti and Jameson alike, much taller than his sister. His eyes glow gold as molten iron.

"You came here trying to be her hero," he says, voice quieter and harsher at the same time. "Trying to make things better for other people, is that your reasoning? Who are you to help anyone? All you are is a torturer pretending to fit in with the rest of the world."

JJ never lets go of her arm to say a word, but he looks up at Cedar, mouth tight.

"You had your chance to make peace with Dapper," Cedar says. "But I see what you really are - still just his Carver. And this part of you will never find any peace at all."

JJ closes his eyes, but it doesn't block the images out as Cedar begins to pull back old thoughts, memories, fears - you can see him coated in blood a dozen times, see corpses, see innocents tortured into screaming, see his brothers begging him to stop.

"Take your hands off my sister," Cedar hisses. "Or I will show her exactly who you really are."

JJ does not let go.

[safyresky]

I am thinking about fusion AU very much. It has OCCURRED to me that I have NEVER talked about the OTHER two frost fusions: Blinter (the ultimate Renny) and Fire, so uh. Have some quick facts?

Fire is Fiera/Fino, if that wasn't obvious by the name lmao

They are ALWAYS on FIRE. But sometimes they have a magical stick (Fino's staff, as he gets more experience being a Warlock)

They are UNHINGED, more so than the Frosts usually are

I'm half tempted to say they are just a giant vaguely human shaped fire, but I think they just CHOOSE to be a flaming ball of fire 90% of the time

When NOT on fire (very rare) they look perfectly normal (I mean. They're a fused pair of identical TWINS who get on quite well)

Would add extra limbs for funnsies sometimes, but have to think really hard about it bc whenever they're around, they have 2 of each (tragic)

Fire and Jackie are like, the WORST. Like, to other people. These two get to you? They will ROAST you (with words and maybe actual fire) in 5 seconds flat. Menaces. NOBODY pisses these two off

Like, everyone KNOWS that if you fuck with Fire (Fusion), you will get burnt, but not by them, by Jackie, who will kill to protect their little sibling

AND if people who AREN'T Fire fuck with Jackie, Fire gets very offended and it's on SIGHT

Jackie: SICK 'EM, FIRE

Fire: HELL YEAH 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

If someone were to fuck with BOTH fusions, they will be roasted and have a lot of regret when Jackie inevitably takes a very deep breath in and yells RENNNYYYYYYYYY

Because that's Blinter. And Blinter is the biggest renny bear. They will go to TOWN on ANYONE who hurts their kiddos, and Fire and Jackie know this, and abuse it very much when fighting really annoying enemies or whatever

Blinter I think is even taller than Diteline, and more often than not carries their terrible kids away like potato sacks

Just the IMAGE of this giant PERSON holding Jackie in one arm and flaming ball of Fire in the other arm is goddamn hilarious

It's like momma cats with kittens when they grab the scruff? Blinter scoops up the kids and Fire immediately extinguishes and Jackie just goes limp.

It's very confusing

They understand the fire going out thing, but getting Jackie to sit still?

Unbelievable. Inconceivable.

Blinter's deffo a little bit on the quiet side, they're always having a conversation with themselves and Jackie and Fire can tell exactly what Blinter says with a look

And Blinter can indeed just. Mind message them, lol, so there's no need to speak especially since 80% of the time, if Blinter's around, it's because Jackie and Fire have Done Some Chaos >:)

[uneasylisteningradio]

The Pilgrims Just Don’t Understand November 24, 2022

a show for NO THANK U’S GIVING which ironically is about quite sincerely thanking our wonderful wonderful listeners who would never do a genocide on us quite the contrary!! THANK YOU. 

stream on Mixcloud

Big Star - Thank You Friends

DJ speaks over Kashmere Stage Band - Thank You

Sinéad O'Connor - Thank You for Hearing Me The Ohio Express - Grazia Soul Brothers Six - Thank You Baby for Loving Me

DJ speaks over Jackie Mittoo - Be Thankful

Mischief Brew - Thanks, Bastards! Deutscher Kaiser - Danke Sinnamon - Thanks to You Drug Czars - Thank God for Drugs M.D.C. - Thanks for Giving Me What I Didn't Want Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Angels Watching Over Me Grupo Sub-1 - Solar? No, Gracias

DJ speaks over Duke Ellington - Thanks for the Beautiful Land on the Delta

Mott the Hoople - You Are One of Us Hearts of Stone - Thank You Tommy James & The Shondells - On Behalf of the Entire Staff & Management Indirekt - Godzij Dank

DJ speaks over The Panpipes Play ABBA - Thank You for the Music

Johnny Moped - Thanks for Making It to Side 2 ABBA - Gracias por la Música Naked Raygun - Thank You Ralph Lowe - Thank You Mr. Seward Jorge Ben - Moça The Soul Children - Thanks For a Precious Nothing Trin Tran - No Thanks, OK

DJ speaks over MFSB - Thank You Miss Scott

Sparks - Thanks But No Thanks Eddie and Ernie - Thanks for Yesterday Tony Ferrino (Steve Coogan) - Papa Bendi The Free Design - Friends (Thank You All) Subhumans - No Thanks

DJ speaks over Junior Mance - Thank You Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again

Magazine - Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) Rövsvett - Vuxen, Nej Tack Sylvester - Grateful Johnny Cash - Thanks a Lot (feat. The Tennessee Two)

DJ speaks over Paul Butterfield Blues Band - Thank You Mr. Poobah

Bobby Swanson - Thank You Chumbawamba - That's How Grateful We Are (Version) Unknown Hungarian Choir - We Thank You, Comrade Rákosi Adeva - I Thank You Scaffold - Thank U Very Much Misery - Thanksgiving Day

Earth & Fire - Thanks for the Love The Pastels - Thank You for Being You The Wedding Present - Thanks The Ikettes - I'm So Thankful

DJ speaks over Horace Silver - Gratitude

Dexys Midnight Runners - The Celtic Soul Brothers (More, Please, Thank You) The Pale Fountains - Thank You Nützliche Idioten - Danke Articles of Faith - Give Thanks Sly & The Family Stone - Thank You for Talkin' to Me Africa

Betty Wright - Don't Thank Me Baby, Thank Yourself

[tani-b-art]

I didn’t watch today’s game. Didn’t feel like going thru the stress the Aces like to put themselves and us thru.

HOWEVER, it looks like Megan started today in place of Kiah. Annnd the results are in:

When I say it is unreasonable what the coaching staff is doing, I mean it! So we could’ve started Megan games ago and those games we lost could’ve probably been won (we can’t say for sure but it’s possible. I’m not saying Megan alone would’ve won us any of those games but it’s no telling what her impact could’ve been to change the course). Why does it take her this long to adjust her starting lineup? The minute we saw what Megan was doing on Spain’s team in Paris, I would’ve made the decision then and there that she’s in the starting 5. Megan has literally given more positive production in this one game that Kiah hasn’t all season. Just heard her say in the post-game press, “We’re struggling to win games, there’s just no margin for error” when speaking on who starts and who gets subbed in. She isn’t understanding that because of this struggle, especially at this period and this far into the season, you can modify the strategy. You are allowed to make the adjustments. Try your hand at everything because what you had and have been doing isn’t working. You can run the risk for the “margin for error”. The starter loyalty package…throw that away. Right now, you don’t have the cushion to keep that in consideration. The Aces are just about in desperate mode so let that go.

I can’t say exactly, based on stats, what Kate’s impact was today. Stats vs actually seeing what she provided to the team that doesn’t show up on paper is another thing. The stats up there show it wasn’t much but it is a + there. And seeing that Jackie is still severely struggling (she’s nursing her thumb injury and it’s stifling her), keep Kate in or put her in for Jackie until Jackie gets back to her comfortable state because she clearly isn’t. Kate has got to get more minutes to gain confidence. She isn’t getting enough to even test her and get the feel of what she can possibly do to replace her teammates when they aren’t having a great game. Especially with the playoffs next in line. Testing all the bench now to get what they’re capable of can give a good preview for the near future.

It came down to the wire/a buzzer beater bucket to win against the Sky…let me just be content with the win.

[off Aces: good gosh Angel snatched 22 rebounds! I may need to add her to my DPOY candidates. And Kamilla was a nuisance on A’ja lol! I saw the highlights—that 1 block & stare down was brutal (had to look away because I was embarrassed for A). The SC showdown. You can tell A’ja made a specific mental note of that. Watch out Kamilla. That lick back is gonna be something! I like this tit-for-tat they have going on. A’ had a huge block (or two) on Milla 1st matchup, now she got hers 1,2,3,4,5 times today. And don’t take it personal A’, Kamilla does that to everyone. The Sky bigs do this all the time. I just heard A’ja’s in-game interview about the stare-down…I can’t😆]