Tumgik
#stacks of money
msterpicasso · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
@kheumani
3K notes · View notes
motleyluu · 16 days
Text
Tumblr media
99 notes · View notes
okaydiscount · 27 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
based off a headcanon that scout's ma is part of the mafia :)
3K notes · View notes
ayertrinity · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
940 notes · View notes
siyelius · 23 days
Text
Tumblr media
sampo nation wya we have to jump this guy
262 notes · View notes
weareravershq · 2 months
Photo
Tumblr media
REMA | Money On His Mind
235 notes · View notes
stuckinapril · 8 months
Text
every time i walk into my local library i make sure to look at the receptionists with big wet eyes before heading to my corner to study bc i really want them to hire me as a part-time aide
479 notes · View notes
riplikeren · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
kingshook1 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Stack It
131 notes · View notes
ongawdclub · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
D a f f y D u c k
646 notes · View notes
motleyluu · 5 days
Text
Tumblr media
74 notes · View notes
mod2amaryllis · 8 months
Text
i know vet prices are out of control expensive but it's because the world is expensive, not greed, and so every time i encounter someone complaining about it in bad faith i want to grab them by the hands with shaking, sweaty desperation and say "on average human nurses are paid 30-50 dollars an hour. vet techs, who are nurses of every department and every specialty and also janitors and mma fighters, are lucky to break minimum wage."
165 notes · View notes
salamispots · 5 months
Text
mom while setting up mahjong: aren't you going to be uncomfortable sitting sideways like that in the chair?
me: do you not see me sitting like a little gargoyle in my computer chair
82 notes · View notes
handledwithgloves · 5 months
Text
How Harry Potter Ended Up With Three Dads (wc:2k)
"He's drunk," Remus says, peering through the curtains at the slumped over figure on their front porch, "We can't just leave him out there."
Sirius scowls, waving his hand dismissively, "Oh, you and your... kind heart. Damn you! Let him in then!"
Remus makes no rush to open the door but once he does, he could feel just how cold it is outside. He tucks himself further into the warmth of his bathrobe before stepping out onto the porch.
"Severus?" Remus asks warily, inching closer still to the man, "What are you doing here?"
Severus looks up then. Still the same gaunt, thin, sad face from their school days, if not worse from the drunken aura of the man. He looks as if he hasn't slept in days.
"Are you well enough to talk?" Remus asks, squatting down so he could be eye to eye with the man.
Severus only shivers in response. Remus's eyes grow wide in shock.
"Merlin!" he nearly shouts, "Your lips are blue! Just how long have you been out here? Sirius!"
"What?" Sirius grumbles from the front door, "Did he finally keel over and die?"
"Sirius, help me carry him in. I think he's got hyperthermia," Remus says, taking one of Severus's arms and throwing it over his shoulder.
"Hypothermia, Moony," Sirius smiles, taking Severus's other arm and slinging it over his own shoulders none too gently, "I thought you were supposed to be the word-y one here?"
Severus grunts as Sirius 'accidentally' smacks his head against the door. The two of them haul Severus's body into the house as Sirius shuts the door with his foot.
"Over there," Remus says, nodding his head to the fireplace.
As soon as they got him settled and the fireplace is roaring with life, Remus and Sirius finally catch their breaths. Severus looks less dead now but they still had no idea what to make of him. Sirius was the first to voice his concern.
“What the ever living fu - “ one look from Remus cuts him off before he continues with a scowl, “What is he doing here, Remus? And why is he half dead? Doesn’t the bastard know how to cast a warming charm?”
“I don't know,” Remus looks over to Severus’s sleeping body. He’s sitting up, stock still. “I didn’t even know he knew where we lived. I mean, it’s not a secret but still, I didn’t think he cared.”
“Well, whatever. We can’t keep him here. We have a - “ Sirius mimes cradling something in his arms and then points upwards.
“Yes, you don’t think I know that?” Remus snaps, “As soon as he’s better, I’ll wake him up and have him leave. Problem solved.”
Sirius sighs with attitude as he sits down on their couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. “Better be soon,” he says testily, “It’s near three in the morning. I’m exhausted.”
Remus sits down beside Sirius. “Oh, you’re exhausted?” Remus scoffs, “You’re not the one - “ he mimes changing diapers but Sirius only frowns in confusion, “The very fact that you don’t know what I’m doing only further proves my point.”
“Whatever,” Sirius says, “When one person in this house wakes up, we all wake up.”
“Better take what little chance we have while we have it,” Remus says, resting his head on the back of the couch and closing his eyes.
When Remus opens his eyes again, he is disoriented; unsure how he got to the living room and why he left the fireplace on. Then he focuses on an empty spot near the fireplace, alarms in his head going off that he’s forgotten something important concerning that specific area. Then there is a sudden thump upstairs and Remus leaps to his feet without hesitance. The baby - Harry!
Remus swings across the stairs skipping steps by two as he rounds the corner of the hallway to Harry’s room. The door was wide open. Remus bursts in to find Severus hovering over Harry’s crib, muttering something. Harry is awake, cooing at him as if he understood what Severus was saying. Remus draws his wand immediately.
“Severus,” Remus calls authoritatively, “Step away from the child.”
Severus tenses at Remus’s voice but he doesn’t comply. His wand is drawn and Remus steels himself to fight as a last resort, not wanting to get Harry between the crossfires. Remus opens his mouth again to speak, to lower the tension in the room, when suddenly a spell zooms past his head. Before he knows it, Harry is in Severus’s arms.
“Petrificus Totalus!” Remus shouts just as Severus darts across the room, missing him by inches.
Severus flings open another door to the room and dashes past him before he could utter another spell. Damn! Why did they have to put Harry in a room with so many doors?
“Sirius!” Remus shouts in panic, “Sirius! He has Harry!”
He chases after Severus, always just barely missing him as he darts around corners of his house, jumping through doors, and gliding through hallways. He can hear Sirius’s heavy footsteps running around somewhere, trying to find a way to corner Severus. And then he hears it; Sirius’s footsteps getting closer, louder, and faster.
“Sirius! Don’t!”
Sirius seems to understand a millisecond before colliding with Severus and Harry, barreling instead towards an unsuspecting door and crashing through it.
“What part of ‘he has Harry’ did you not understand?” Remus shouts behind his back as he passes Sirius.
“The part where you bloody let him in the house!” he hears Sirius shouting back.
He’d lost sight of Severus now, finally slowing down to a stop as he tries to listen to any doors being open or, potentially, any windows being smashed so he could escape with Harry. Sirius pats his shoulder, panting just a bit, but not from running, from anger.
“Why does he know the layout of our house?” Sirius shouts incredulously.
“Severus has always been very… complicated,” Remus replies evenly.
“Complicated. Oh, be nicer would you?” Sirius spits, “He’s mad. He’s mad and he’s got Harry!”
“Sirius,” Remus tries to calm him, “He’s still in the house. I think he was doing something to Harry, talking to him or something, before I found him.”
“Talk - talking?” Sirius waves his hands up in exasperation, “Jesus, Remus! He could’ve been cursing Harry for all we know!”
Just then, the most wonderful sound could be heard from downstairs; Harry’s laughing. Sirius moves first, shoving past Remus to get to the stairs. It takes a while for Remus to recover. He had done this. He was the one who brought Severus inside. He believed Severus wasn’t so bad and for a moment, he doubted himself but hearing Harry laugh reignited that belief.
By the time he got to the downstairs hallway, Sirius was already there, banging hard on the bathroom door and trying his best to peer in through the frosted glass. Remus had no idea why the previous owners of this house would want their guest bathroom to have a frosted glass but he’s so glad that they did because he could see the blobs of Severus Snape and Harry sitting on the floor of the bathroom, safe and unharmed.
“When I get you Snivellus, you’re going to wish you were sent to Azkaban with all the other filthy Death Eaters! D’you hear me?” Sirius shouts, jiggling the handles again just to try to scare Severus, “Worse than death! I’ll tear you to pieces if you touch a hair on that boy’s head!”
Remus was still looking in next to Sirius when a thought had come to mind and he was never happier that Sirius was far too angry to think straight. He walks back down the hall and turns a corner to the kitchen, down another hall. Then, quickly, before the door could shut, he barges into the bathroom where Severus slams the door shut with a spell. But he was too late, Remus was already inside, thanking the previous owner for their love of rooms with multiple doors.
Severus is sitting on the bathroom floor with Harry in his lap, facing him. He’s bent over Harry, muttering again, as the infant plays with his hair. He’s crying, Remus notes from the sniffling he hears coming from the man.
“Remus!” Sirius shouts excitedly from behind the bathroom door, “Remus do something! He’s molesting the baby!”
“Shut up, Sirius!” Remus shouts, fists clenching his wand at his side. Jokes like that shouldn’t be made so lightly. Remus takes a breath, trying now to sound as gentle as he could, “Severus, you can’t cry on Harry.”
“You don’t even love him.”
Remus sighs with a roll of his eyes. “And you do?” he tucks his wand away, noticing that Severus’s wand had rolled towards the far wall.
“Listen, he can say my name. Go on, say it,” he prods at Harry.
“Oh, for Godric’s sake, Severus!” Remus flings his arms frustratedly, “He’s not a talking doll! You can’t just poke him and make him say your name!”
“You tell him, Remus! Get that sniveling drowned bastard away from my godson!”
“Sirius! For the love of - Shut up!” Remus shouts.
Severus is mumbling again and this time Remus really is a bit worried he’s putting a curse on Harry but as he nears, he hears him much more clearly.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’re Lily’s precious boy, aren’t you? Will you ever forgive me? I’m so very sorry,” Severus chatters like a mantra into Harry’s face.
“Severus,” Remus gently places his hand on the other man’s shoulder, “Severus, give me the boy. It’s his bedtime.”
Severus sniffles. “I came to apologize,” he says, “I - I never got to - to Lily.”
“I understand,” Remus sighs, crouching down and placing his other hand gently to Severus’s forearm, “but he doesn’t. If you really want to apologize to him properly, do it sober and when he’s understood everything.”
Severus sniffles again, giving a slow nod before he leans back onto the bathtub behind him. Gently, carefully, Remus takes Harry from his arms. Harry seems unharmed, thankfully. He’s smiling brightly up at Remus, generally happy. He lets himself relax, standing up and towards the door, opening it to a stressed Sirius.
“You got him?” Sirius says, peering down at Harry who’s yawning now.
“This whole ordeal must have tired him out,” Remus says with a laugh.
“Yeah,” Sirius rolls his eyes, “He’s the tired one. I swear tonight just shaved ten years off my lifespan. What happened in there? I couldn’t hear a thing.”
“We just had a chat,” Remus replies, moving past Sirius and heading up the stairs.
“You mean he’s still in there?” Sirius’s temper flared.
“Leave him be,” Remus gives him a glare, “He’s fallen asleep against the bathtub.”
“Remus,” Sirius starts, “You can’t be serious?”
“He just wanted to apologize to Harry,” Remus says calmly, “I’ve already talked him down from it.”
“We can’t let him stay!” Sirius says desperately.
“You’re welcome to stay up and watch him all night Sirius,” Remus smirks, “Merlin knows you have some sort of wild fascination with him, but Harry and I will be off to bed. Won’t we, Harry?”
Harry gives another, large yawn as his eyes droop lower and lower. Remus smiles. Not even two years on his earth and he’s already a handful of trouble, Remus sighs, placing Harry in his crib. Sirius indignantly complains about Severus’s stay and that Remus thinks he has some ‘wild fascination’ with Snape all the while they make their way to their room.
The next morning, Remus and Sirius are down in the kitchen, with Harry sitting in his feeding chair, when Severus appears with a hand to his head and seemingly looking like he’s going through the worst hangover ever experienced by man. Remus hands him a potion.
“Drink it,” Remus says, “It’ll help with the hangover.”
Sirius grunts, “Brewed it myself, Snivellus, so you better not have any complaints.”
Severus gives Sirius a sneer as he takes the bottle without question and gulps it down. He grimaces for a moment, the taste surely not the best so early in the morning. Then, he looks like his usual, depressing self.
“Compliments where compliments are owed, Black,” Severus says, placing the potion on the counter, “Though I would add just a touch more - “
“That’s enough out of you, Snape,” Sirius scowls, aiming the spatula he was using to stir their scrambled eggs at Severus, “I brewed it perfectly and you know it. You just want to be an arse.”
“Severus,” Remus steps forward, “Do you remember anything that transpired here last night?”
“I do not recall,” Severus says smoothly, looking away as a light blush flushes his cheeks.
So he did remember everything. Which means he remembers the conversation they had in the bathroom about Harry. Remus smiles. That was good. If not for Severus, then for Harry, when he’s ready to learn everything that happened that night with his parents. Speaking of - 
Harry makes a loud indignant shout, upset that he’s being kept out of the conversation. Remus watches as Severus slowly inches towards him with a face of slight disgust or discomfort. Sirius rushes forward as well, thrusting the spatula into Remus’s hands.
“Snivellus, if you even think about kidnapping that boy again - “
“Please, Black. It was hardly a kidnapping if I remained in your house,” Severus says lazily before turning back to Harry, “Pathetic little thing. Isn’t it overweight?”
“Babies look like that, Severus,” Remus says over his shoulder as he plates the scrambled eggs next to he bacon.
Sirius scoffs, hovering over Harry and pinching his cheeks, “Just because your baby pictures have you looking like a drowned cat doesn’t mean our cute little Harry is the same.”
Harry slams his fists down on the table at that, babbling to Sirius.
“Oh, Harry didn’t like that jibe towards Severus, Sirius,” Remus chuckles, “Best to apologize.”
Just then, Harry does the most amazing thing. “Sebuh,” Harry says.
Severus takes a step back, hand flying to his mouth as Sirius peers closer at Harry’s face.
“Sebus,” Harry says again, laughing and making grabbing motions towards Severus.
It was Sirius’s turn to back away in awe then, clutching his chest in shock and disbelief. Severus on the other hand was inching towards Harry again. His hand reaches out and he lets Harry grab at his fingers. Ever so quietly, they could hear sniffling coming from Severus again.
“Oh, come now, Snivellus,” Sirius rolls his eyes.
“I want to be a part of his life.”
“What?” Sirius shouts as Remus says, “Okay.”
101 notes · View notes
huellitaa · 28 days
Text
dear universe. may my bank only grow bigger and my ass only get fatter. amen
43 notes · View notes