#st angst
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Mike didn't understand. If loving Will only meant more danger for the two of them, then why did he want to love Will even more? To prove something? To show just how much he'd do for Will's love? It didn't matter though, because Will was already happy and Mike was already dating El.
Mike loved El. As a friend, he really did, but he couldn't help but want Will ten times more than El. And he hated himself for it. He knows he shouldn't be having thoughts of other boys, especially of Will, and especially in that way, but he can't help it. It's how Lucas describes being in love is. You can't stop true love.
Mike had tried to stop these thoughts, by praying them away and begging to anyone in the dead of night who'd listen, but no one would answer. He didn't want to die, not from sin and not from AIDS and definitely not from bullies beating him to death. He just wanted to be happy.
He wanted to hold hands with Will in a friend of daisies. That was his happy. Just like when they were kids. He wanted a carefree life with Will, but he knows that's impossible. If only, but he knows that is only a dream
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hannahhook7744 · 2 years ago
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'Cats in the Cradle' Stranger Things Au;
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Summary: In a world where Steve dies instead of Eddie, Tommy and Carol find themselves responsible for the children he never even got to find out he had.
And of course, the upside down crew buts in to help.
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(Carol Perkins, Tommy Hagan, and Steve Harribgton as kids to teens).
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Steve's ex, Becky, who is the mom who wants nothing to do with the kids.
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Mr. and Mrs. Harrington (aka Richard and Norma).
Leave suggestions for what they do for work in the comments if you want cause I have no clue.
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Mr. and Mrs. Hagan (aka Jack and Jolene).
He's a truck driver and she's a waitress.
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Mr. and Mrs. Perkins (aka Andy and Jeanie Perkins).
She's a nurse and he's a news anchor.
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And finally, the quads as babies and as little kids.
Their names are Stephanie Robin Harrington, Stefan Dustin Harrington, Stella Chrissy Harrington, and Stewart Frederick Harrington.
Notes:
Chrissy, her brother, and Fred are Steve's cousins.
Phil Callahan is Steve's half brother.
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Tommy and Carol's house and car.
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Their cat and dog (Bowie and Mercury).
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sirfrogthe3rd · 8 months ago
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"If an artist falls in love with you, you can never die."
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stervrucht · 8 months ago
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@steddieangstyaugust day 16: Halloween
Steve is a little drunk. Scratch that, he's a lot drunk. And those indoor sunglasses aren't helping whatsoever. So yeah, maybe Steve accidentally made out with Eddie freaking Munson thinking it was Nancy, but it wasn't his fault. The fact that it took him a good five minutes to even notice...well, let's save that crisis for another time.
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jelliedlimes · 14 days ago
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Spock ear cropping AU :((
I've been thinking about Spocks hybrid nature a lot.. what if she was born with human ears, hidden and surgically adjusted as a kid, still wounded and bandaged by the time she's engaged to Tpring.
Extended ramblings below the cut
Tpring looking at this other kid that looks so damn miserable, neither of them wanting to be here. Maybe Spock's parents would cover her ears with a headpiece or something to hide the bruised up skin during the engagement ceremony, but when Spock would tilt her head Tpring could just make out the bandages.
And the inherent loneliness in Spock's identity is SO IMPORTANT TO ME AAAAAH, being the only one of your kind, with people constantly trying to push you into some kind of box and consistently failing. A Vulcan bleeds green but then again, is Spock's blood the right shade of green? And a Vulcan shouldn't feel the things she is feeling, or struggle in the ways she does.
In the disdainful eyes of the Vulcans around her she is not Vulcan enough and in the presence of humans she finds solace in how alien she is. Then she smiles or laughs or cries and there it is again. She is not Vulcan. And though she works as hard as she can, and studies and engages with her culture as much as she can possibly muster, her genetics make her feel so unfathomably disconnected, a stranger to humans and an actor to Vulcans. And when Spock has a nightmare in which she gets hurt it is not the act itself that scares her but the fear that when she looks down, her blood might be red.
Jelliedlimes out!!
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lovebugism · 6 months ago
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📼  ; ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY | 1/2
summary: by the summer of 1987, eddie munson has mastered the art of dying and coming back to life again. but worse than that: he can't seem to stop running into the pretty lifeguard from hawkins community pool. the grumpy ol' vampire slowly learns to love sunshine in the afterlife. (23k)
pairing: vampire!eddie munson / ditzy!sunshine!reader
contents: fem!reader, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, hurt/comfort, extreme canon divergence (most of the events of st3 and st4 still happen but starcourt is still standing, some people aren't dead, etc.) (i'm just here to have fun, honestly) cw for mentions of grief and ptsd, mentions of blood
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( best listened with headphones, full fic playlist here )
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
          she lives in the place in the side of our lives
          where nothing is ever put straight . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Being a vampire sucks.
No pun intended.
Eddie Munson’s too tired for puns. He’s too tired for most things, really.
That’s what they don’t tell you about being a vampire — it’s not nearly as cool as The Lost Boys make it seem. He isn’t any stronger now than he was the night he died. He isn’t any faster, either. And if he’s capable of shape-shifting into a bat, he hasn’t tried because the thought of becoming the thing that killed him feels like more of a purgatory than what he’s been doomed to already. 
He didn’t even get a cool cape out of it, which is more of a bite than anything, honestly. 
No pun intended.
All Eddie’s got to show for his death are the patches of marred skin on his stomach to prove it. And a couple of pointy teeth — which, so far, have only tasted his own flesh because he’s bitten his lip with them more times than he can count. And, yeah, maybe he’s got a heightened sense or two, but that’s it. It’s not nearly as cool as it sounds, either. Enhanced hearing and sense of smell are just code for being constantly overstimulated.
Eddie misses being alive. He misses not knowing what blood tastes like. He misses forgetting to eat all day and accidentally having ice cream for a first meal — which he’d then scarf down like a man starved until it inevitably made him sick, so that he could then complain about how sick he felt. 
He misses the consequences of humanhood because now he’s half-corpse, half-god — a dizzying mixture for a boy who used to just be somebody’s kid.
And what does Eddie do to cope with it all? He gets his weekly mint-chip cone at Scoops Ahoy.
Steve passes the ice cream over the counter with a kinder smile than Eddie’s used to. His skin is freckled and golden against the dark navy of his uniform. So full of life. The child’s sailor outfit hasn’t stopped being funny, but Eddie scowls at him ‘cause he’s jealous. He’s never been anything but pale, even before death, but he can’t exactly catch a tan now, can he?
“You look good,” Steve Harrington observes, distant but meaningful. 
The wild-haired boy ahead of him doesn’t seem nearly as poorly as he did a day or so ago, when he looked somehow more like death than the day he actually died. He’s got his usual color back now. A telltale sign of a recent feeding.
Eddie flashes the boy a dubious, brown-eyed glance. “Are you flirting with me?” he jokes with his ringed fingers curled around the waffle cone, too monotoned to sound as playful as he means.
Steve’s face screws. “No.”
“Damn.”
“See! That’s what I’m talking about!” the brunette proclaims proudly, waving an accusatory finger in the other boy’s direction. “Eddie from yesterday wouldn’t have made that joke. Eddie from yesterday wouldn’t have said anything, actually.”
“Well, Eddie From Yesterday, hadn’t eaten in two weeks,” the boy deadpans. (He isn’t talking about food, either). “And Eddie From Yesterday was so exhausted and filled with an inhuman rage that death was funnier than making stupid jokes.”
Steve tries not to cower at his faux-seriousness. “Touché,” he nods.
Eddie hands the boy the last bill in his wallet. Steve makes out his change and, like a total idiot, dumps a dime onto his palm. The silver hits his skin like a drop of acid rain or molten lava. Eddie winces at the burn, hissing through his teeth as he jerks his singed hand back. 
“Why are you giving me dimes, man?!” he shouts over the sound of clattering coins.
“Shit!” Steve grimaces. “Sorry, dude— I forgot.”
“Oh, you forgot?” Eddie bites in a mocking tone.
“Yeah! Sorry if I can’t remember everything about—” Steve pauses his rant to peer around the shop with cautious eyes. He quietens. “—Vampires, alright? Sue me.”
Eddie watches the boy scramble to gather scattered coins –– coth hat askew on his head, scarlet tie in his way. The sight alone makes him laugh. A sharp exhale through his nose, but a laugh nonetheless. “You know what? How ‘bout just keep the change?”
“You keep the damn change,” Steve grumbles under his breath.
“Nice one.”
“Shut up.”
Eddie takes a big bite from his fresh scoop. He lets the sharp peppermint and deep chocolate concoction melt in his mouth. The strange combination was always the best distraction from the coppery tang of blood lingering on his tongue. 
Distracts because the metallic taste never quite leaves him, no matter how often he washes his mouth out. The taste of death always persists. Not in a poetic way, though. It’s more like a mouthful of old pennies.
Only problem is, he can’t really taste it now — the tart mint-chip or the pint of blood he’d choked down yesterday afternoon. The sensuous scent of hibiscus lilts along an otherwise still breeze, sudden and very overwhelming. It’s powdery and floral, rich and fruity. A fragrance sweet enough to make him ill, and it’s accompanied by the rhythmic flip-flop, flip-flop of rubber sandals.
Eddie glances mindlessly over his shoulder, then nearly breaks his neck at the force of his double-take. The candied scent, he finds, belongs undoubtedly to the pretty face behind him.
You saunter into the ice cream shop like a rolling summer cloud — with a walk that’s as soft and delicate as you look. There’s something thaumaturgical in the honeyed atmosphere that follows you in, still unceremoniously punctuated by the flip-flop, flip-flop sound of your shoes against the linoleum.
You are, unsurprisingly, as pretty as the raspberry, marshmallow, lily-of-the-valley scent radiating from your sunkissed skin. There is much of it on display now, and what little is covered is hardly left to the imagination.
Straight from a shift at Hawkins Community Pool, your mandated uniform clings perfectly to your torso — a pretty, scarlet one-piece that scoops deeply at the chest. Stamped on the center is a pool floatie and two surfboards that make a more summery skull-and-crossbones shape. ‘Lifeguard’ is written just beneath it, right over the swell of your breasts.
You wear a pleated skirt on your lower half to match. The bouncy fabric rests scandalously, and perhaps unintentionally, low on your hips. A faint sliver of your skin is showcased in a way that drives him hopelessly wild. And you’ve paired it all with a pair of too-big sunglasses on your head and a cherry sucker in your mouth. 
Effortless. A total cakewalk of perfection.
Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington have never known much about either. 
The latter is still trying to dump change into the tip jar when he goes to greet you. Your eyes link, the words get stuck in his throat, and the coins scatter to the laminate all over again. Steve tries to catch them at first before realizing how utterly uncool he must look. He makes a bigger fool of himself by just letting them fall.
“Hey. Hi. Wel—Welcome to Scoops Ahoy,” the brunette clears his throat. He props his hands along the countertop and feels a rogue penny stick to his clammy palm. “You’re not lost, are you?”
Steve forces a lopsided smile at his sorry excuse for a joke. Eddie rolls his eyes. You blink at him and pluck the cherry sucker from your mouth — which has left your lips softly swollen and tinted a rosier shade.
“This is where pretty boys in tiny sailor outfits sell ice cream, right?”
Your deadpan expression makes it difficult to gauge whether or not you’re joking. Steve’s face glows red at the sort-of compliment. He nods rapidly until the words catch up to him. “Yeah— Yeah, it— It is, actually.”
You smile at him, tightlipped and warm. It fills the windowless shop with glittering sunbeams. “Then can I have a scoop of rainbow sherbet, please?”
Steve raps his knuckles against the counter and nods again. “Yep. Coming right up.”
Eddie takes another hearty bite of his ice cream while you linger at his side — a couple of feet away but feeling much closer than that. As the minty chocolate melts slow on his tongue, all he can taste is the fruity-floral scent of you. 
It makes his head go all swimmy because he knows your blood must taste the same. Like velvet. Or an expensive red wine people spend half a fortune on. He can hear the soft wooshing of your heart, too. Soft and unhurried. Gentle like an ebbing and flowing tide.
He shouldn’t be thinking this way, he knows. He fed yesterday; he should be feeling halfway normal by now. But your scent is dizzying still, and much stronger than Eddie figures it should be. If he’d met you a day or more ago, when the need for a feeding was quite literally eating him alive, he’s not sure he would’ve been able to contain himself.
He doesn’t think he would’ve hurt you, per se — because he hasn’t actually hurt anyone yet. Not in this stage of his afterlife, anyway. But it would’ve taken all the waning strength left in him to stop himself from doing something unthinkable. And that thought alone is somehow more terrifying than death.
Neither, however, is as scary as your gaze meeting his. 
Your eyes lock, and only then does Eddie realize how long he’s been staring. His blood runs cold. Cold-er. An eon blinks as he tries to recover from his hopeless leering. (He’s just as useless as Steve The Hair Harrington, turns out).
“Hi…” he murmurs through a mouthful of mint-chip once he realizes he’s got nothing else to say. How’s a freak like him meant to talk to someone like you? A walking fairytale of ethereal chaos?
You move the cherry sucker to the pocket of your cheek with your tongue. Through it, you mumble, “Yeah. I guess I am.”
Eddie laughs before he means to. His pink lips curl into a smile, and the inside of the delicate skin scrapes the fangs threatening to poke through his gums. They fit just perfectly over his canines, typically veiled by his gums until it’s time to feed. Or until he’s faced with a pretty girl who smells like Heaven and looks just the same, apparently.
He hides his grin behind his fist and scoffs a breathy laugh.
Your face twists in a delicate look of confusion. “Why’s that funny?” you question once you’ve plucked the piece of candy from your mouth.
His smile ebbs instantly. “Oh. It’s… It’s not— It’s not funny, actually,” he stammers, chocolate eyes wide and round like a pair of buttons.
Your frown deepens. “So you don’t think I’m funny?”
“No, it’s— it’s not that I don’t think you’re funny, I just— I think that—” Eddie stumbles over himself trying to get the words out. He inhales deeply through his nose and swallows hard. “I’m a little confused, honestly…”
There’s a brief moment of silence that passes like minutes. 
There’s something distinctly wild in your unwavering stare. It possesses a sort of magnetism that makes it impossible to look away from — though Eddie desperately, desperately wishes he could. But because he can’t take his eyes off you or the fire swimming laps in your irises, he catches a flicker in your gaze. A flame. A spark.
A smile quirks at the very corner of your mouth before a brighter beam blooms there. A sunshine sort of giggle sputters past your lips. “Oh, gosh— You should see your face right now,” you manage through a fit of laughter, swatting his shoulder with your free hand (a little harder than he thinks you mean to.) “I’m just kidding! Seriously. You can laugh now. It’s okay.”
Eddie doesn’t find it all that funny anymore, but your gaze is pretty and expectant, so he forces out a faint laugh just to appease you. He gapes in confusion the second you look away.
You’re a strange thing. Pretty, yes. But still very, very strange.
When Steve passes you a rainbow scoop on a waffle cone, you fish a crumbled bill from the chest of your swimsuit. The boy takes it with a trembling hand — like touching the cash is touching you in some way — and struggles to recall basic arithmetic when he makes out your change. 
Eddie watches you savor one last taste of your diminishing sucker, lips curled around the lolly before popping audibly off of it. “Is there a trashcan—” you ask and glance around the shop.
“There’s one back here,” Steve offers mindlessly. “I can chuck it.”
Your hands brush when he takes the paper stick between careful fingers. Silky sunkissed skin sweeping against silky sunkissed skin. 
Eddie’s almost jealous. He wishes he could touch you in such an innocent, accidental way — or anyone, really. But his blood stopped circulating about a year or so ago, and he’s had a glacial disposition about him ever since. Sometimes, when he’s just freshly fed, he feels sort of warm. Sort of normal. But that only lasts about an hour or so before his skin goes wintry and grey again.
“Thanks,” you lilt with a kind grin, sandals squeaking as you step back from the counter. You arch a brow, and the sweet smile turns suddenly mischievous. “And don’t worry about the change. I’d hate for you to make a bigger mess.”
You tilt your head and take a kitten lick of your scoop, fighting back a giggle when the sailor boy gapes at you. You spin around and flip-flop, flip-flop out of the ice cream shop — back to whatever fairytale you came from.
The scent of ripe fruit and freshly-cut flowers leaves with you, along with the lavender haze Eddie had been swimming in since he saw you. Drowning in, more like.
Steve laughs at your sort-of joke until the mist passes. Only then does he seem to notice the coins still scattered across the countertop and the half-eaten sucker in his hand. His fluffy brows pinch together in a very evident confusion — like he’s just woken up from a dream.
“…What the hell was that?” he muses after a few long moments.
Eddie shrugs and takes another bite of his half-gone scoop, tasting it for the very first time now that you’re gone. “No idea,” he answers through the mouthful.
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
          once you get it, you never wanna quit (no, no)
          after you've had it, you're in an awful fix. . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Eddie finds you again several minutes later. Not between the pages of a fantasy book, but on a lone bench by the bus stop. 
You finish your rainbow sherbet in silence, people-watching behind a big pair of Sharon Tate-style sunglasses. The sight of you alone makes him trip over his feet, like you’ve got your own gravitational pull that makes him stumble on thin air just to be closer to you.
“Oh—” The huff spills accidentally from his mouth when his sneakers scuff the pavement.
It garners your attention accordingly as you turn slowly towards him. You lift your sunglasses to your head again, just to squint at the vividity of the golden hour. You flash the boy an ice-cream-stained smile, tight-lipped and warmer than the setting sun — like he’s one of your old friends who deserves to be looked at so kindly. (He’s neither.)
“Hello!” you greet brightly as you lift the waffle cone to your mouth. You take another bite and add through the mouthful. “Again.”
“You’re still here?” Eddie squints, ‘cause he’s not sure what else to say.
“I’m on lunch—” you answer, slightly slurred through the melting ice cream on your tongue. A milky drop of pink and orange falls to the side of your thumb, and you lick it away mid-sentence. “—Late shift.”
Eddie hums with a slow nod, squinting one eye to block the sun. 
His pale skin buzzes, even under his leather jacket and dark thrifted tee. It isn’t because he’s hot, though. He hasn’t broken a sweat — not even swaddled in the ninety-degree evening — because he lost the ability to somewhere between getting eaten alive and rising from the dead. 
The sunlight just makes him feel a bit weaker than usual. Hungrier, too. And he hates being hungry because it makes him feel viciously ravenous. Like a total barbarian. Cruel and angry and inhuman. So he tries to stay out of the sun when he can.
He knows he should start plotting his way out now, but talking to you is like getting caught in a spider’s web. He gets all tangled in his words, netted in his want to impress you. He ends up superglued in a trap he isn’t totally sure he wants to get out of.
“Must be a slow day then, huh?” Eddie jokes dryly.
Your face twists. “Hm?” you wonder wordlessly as your tongue darts to the corner of your mouth.
“I just meant that— You’re a lifeguard and everything, right? And you— You’re dry, so… There must not have been a ton of lives to save today,” the boy explains, gesturing wildly with ringed hands. He laughs at himself and sticks the trembling limbs into his jacket pockets. “That’s… That’s what I meant.”
You don’t seem to notice his sudden floundering, or the way he can hardly make out an intelligible sentence when you’re looking directly at him. He can’t tell if you’re just kind enough to ignore it or if you’re just totally aloof. He hopes for the latter.
“It’s a lot less swimming than you’d expect, honestly,” you confess as you analyze the melting cone in your hand. You twist your wrist with your face pinched in concentration — like deciding whether to bite into the pink, green, or orange bit is that intense. “It’s just a lot of, like, blowing whistles... And walking around…”
You choose the raspberry pink side in the end, crunching as you bite into the waffle cone.
Eddie nods in response — not because he’s really heard you, but because he feels like he sort of understands you in some way now. You were sweet raspberry in the flesh. The color pink incarnate. Gold and glittering, like the sunset was fashioned in your likeness.
But then you smile up at him, with crispy wafer crumbs clinging to the raspberry-lime-orange concoction on your mouth, and the moment feels a lot less poetic than that.
“Sometimes I just wanna be like, ‘Jeez— Can’t one of you fuckers at least try to drown or something? God,” you mock in an accent that’s hardly your own, giggling at yourself halfway through. 
You flash Eddie another expectant smile. Grinning with all your teeth as you wait for him to laugh with you.
It takes him a second too long to force another chuckle — still trying to gauge how serious you are — but you don’t seem to mind. “Right. Well, uh… Here’s hoping, right?” Eddie quips with a crooked smile, lifting his right hand to flash his crossed fingers.
You giggle louder at that. Laughing with him, and not at him, for the first time since he started making a fool of himself in front of you. 
His chest swells like he’s still got a functioning heart hiding there. It’s sparkling and warm, full of pride, almost like he’s alive again. Truly alive. He realizes, then, that he never wants to stop making you laugh.
When your giggling ceases, you hum a contented sigh and take another sloppy bite of your ice cream cone.
Eddie watches you — unblinking, like a total freak — and tries to figure out if he made you up in his head. 
You were like a fairy-tale princess come to life. An enchanted form of imagination, slightly childlike and effortlessly romantic in a way. You were the kind of girl who held butterflies on the tip of her finger, who reached out to touch the stars at night, who shared her secrets with the moon when no one else would listen.
You’re the kind of thing that only exists in dreams. You have no real sense of reality, accordingly, which Eddie thinks only proves his point.
With sunshine glittering in the strands of your hair, your eyes flit back to his. Eddie averts his gaze suddenly (and very obviously) from yours, but if you’re perturbed by his leering, you don’t show it.
Instead, you look at him the same way you’ve been looking at him this whole time — like you’ve got a world of magic secrets hidden in your eyes. Like you want him to come searching for every single one of them.
“Did you— Did you walk here, or…?” the boy trails off, eyes falling to your rubber sandals. 
He hopes you hadn’t. It’s far too hot, and the pool is quite a few blocks from here. From what little he’s learned about you, though, he figures you’re probably crazy enough not to care.
“Bus,” you answer plainly, pausing mid-bite.
Eddie blinks. “The buses stopped running a half hour ago… You know that, right?”
You freeze. Melted ice cream pools at the edges of your mouth. A very loud answer, even in its silence. 
There’s a very audible crunch-ing sound as you chew through the too-big bite. You bring your palm to your chin to catch rogue crumbs and blink up at Eddie with wide eyes. 
“…What?” you wonder pitifully in response. Though, with your mouth still full, it sounds more like a deep, muffled, and utterly pathetic, “Wah—?”
“They stop running here at six-thirty.”
You swallow, face screwed.“Why?”
Eddie shrugs. “Beats me.”
You turn away — staring far off at the parking lot but looking at nothing, really. Eddie feels like he can finally breathe now, without your eyes strangling him.
He watches you go deep in thought and wishes he could see what the inside of your mind looks like. He imagines it’s full of confetti. Wild, glittering thoughts and a handful of sparkling confetti.
“Well…” you huff after a few moments, a deep and whimsical sigh. You look down at the melting cone in your fist and try to find a silver lining in the swirls of pastel colors. “‘Least the ice cream’s good.”
“Are you gonna walk?” Eddie wonders aloud as his chest pinches with misplaced worry. He crosses his leather-clad arms over himself in a feeble attempt to soothe the ache there — to smother his palpable empathy, which makes him feel like your burden is his to carry. 
He doesn’t have to. Carry it, that is. It’s not like you’re not asking him to. But he can’t ignore the overwhelming urge to help you — this strange, elven princess who needs rescue by a lowly bard way out of his element. It’s an instinct that borders on primal.
“Do I have a choice?” you respond rhetorically. Eddie shrugs and you shrug back, unfazed. “I can walk. The sunset’s pretty… And there’s a dog park on the way there, so… That’ll be fun, I guess.”
Eddie’s dark eyes flit to the sky, where the sun’s slow descent paints the wispy clouds in vivid colors of blush and honey. He understands the simple beauty of it but rarely ever gives it a passing glance.
He spends most of his sunsets inside, hiding from the pretty golden hour behind closed curtains. He cowers under his blankets like a child (‘cause his tiny square window is west-facing, painfully so) and tries to tell himself that he’s not as hungry as he feels.
That he’s not hungry at all.
That he’s still normal.
Eddie looks back to you a moment later, features twisted with uncertainty. “I’m pretty sure the park’s gated after sunset…”
You don’t ask him how he knows that, and he’s grateful. He figures you must assume that he’s got a dog of his own, which is a lie he’s happy to stick to. 
It’s better than admitting that Jim Hopper nearly caught him dealing a couple years back and had to make a quick escape through the park — where he then had to hop a locked fence he didn’t know was there. It wouldn’t have been so embarrassing if he hadn’t rolled directly into dog shit when he fell to the ground. That’s a secret he’ll take to the grave. 
If the Chief takes mercy on him, anyway.
“Well… The sunset’s still pretty,” you conclude with another sigh, because at least that can’t be taken from you. 
Eddie watches you take another bite and makes a very pointed decision not to tell you that that’ll be gone soon, too. By the time you walk back to work, the sky will be a muddy mixture of orange and lilac and navy. Hardly a thing worth looking at.
He lets you revel in your little nothings anyway.
“I should— I should probably go. I have a… thing to get to, so…” he trails off, chuckling at his own hopelessness. His worn sneakers scuff the pavement when he steps back from you. He scratches at the small curls twisted at the nape of his neck and tries to find the words to say goodbye. “Uh— Have a good rest of your shift, I guess. Hope it’s more… eventful.”
You smile at his stammering and his poor excuse for a joke. 
“Thanks,” you nod. “Have fun with your… thing.”
Eddie nods once. His smile wavers only slightly when he turns away. His cheeks puff as he exhales a deep breath — which he hadn’t realized he’d been holding until now. 
He stops short at the edge of the sidewalk. Doesn’t even make it off the fucking curb before his guilty conscience catches up with him. It stops him like a force field and weighs heavy on his chest with a similar strength.
He turns quickly again, curls whipping around his face. “Do you… Do you want a ride?” he blurts with a squint in his deep chocolate eyes. 
The offer is hardly from the kindness of his unbeating heart. He just wants to make himself feel better, if he’s honest. He wants you to decline, actually — so then he’d be alone, and his conscience would still be clear.
Your eyes widen softly at his offer. You shift on the hard bench. It squeaks quietly under your weight. 
“Well, I— I wouldn’t— I wouldn’t wanna intrude,” you tell him, stumbling over your words for the first time in front of him.
Something about it, how shy you’ve suddenly gone, makes you feel a bit more human compared to the glittering creature Eddie made of you in his head.
The boy shrugs. “You wouldn’t be.”
“No?”
“No. It’s just… on the way…” Eddie insists, sighing to himself, because Hawkins Pool most definitely is out of his way. “So, you know… It’s no problem.”
There is a beat of fleeting silence, filled only by a whispering summer breeze and muddled conversation from distant mall-goers. Eddie’s eyes dart over your features, twisted softly with a faraway look of worry. 
The anticipation has his heart in his throat. He isn’t sure now what answer he wants to hear. Both might equally break his heart. A double-edged sword.
Your chest deflates with a dramatic sigh of relief. A lazy smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. “Okay. Good. ‘Cause I didn’t wanna be, like, too eager, you know? But that would be… super duper nice.”
“Good thing I’m a super duper nice person then, huh?” Eddie jokes with a tightlipped smile, which ebbs into a scowl the moment he turns away from you. 
He becomes a storm cloud of annoyance as he stalks across the parking lot. Less so because of you and more so because of his deep-rooted sensitivity, where everyone else’s emotions demand to be felt by him and him alone.
It’s a very strange thing, indeed: to be dead and yet still carry the crushing empathy of a person with a bleeding heart.
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
         real to real is living rarity, people stop and stare at me
          we just walk on by, we just keep on dreaming . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Eddie doesn’t look back to make sure you’re following him. He knows you are. He can tell by your lingering strawberry-vanilla scent, and your rhythmic footsteps in rubber sandals that trail just behind him. The incessant flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop quickens as you rush to keep up with his longer strides, trying hopelessly to finish your ice cream and talk at the same time.
“Adam— my manager— he’s such a hardass. Like, if I was late today, he definitely would’ve fired me,” you ramble and crunch hard into your cone. “Well… maybe not fire me… ‘Cause we’re kinda short-staffed right now— But he definitely would’ve given me a lecture! Like, dude, just because your dad owns the joint, doesn’t mean you have any actual authority over me, you know?”
You giggle loudly at yourself. Eddie just nods in response, barely listening, and not bothering to glance back at you.
You continue anyway, through a mouthful, no less. “Except, he kinda does have some authority, I guess. Since, you know, he’s the one who signs my checks and everything, but… You know what I mean.”
The boy ahead of you stops suddenly in place. Your sandals scuff the pavement to keep from running into the back of him. He turns to face you, brunette curls flouncing, and your heart skips at the proximity. He’s much too pretty for anything else.
You can smell the cologne spritzed on his neck from here. A high-pitched and very boyish cedarwood that makes him somehow more endearing. There’s something floral in it, too — perhaps from the conditioner making his hair all shiny. And the subtle powdery scent, you figure, comes from his old Back Sabbath tee. An evident hand-me-down of some sort. 
You can see more of him like this without having to ogle like a creep. His brown eyes are so dark they’re almost black, but you can see flecks of gold in them, too. His pronounced nose is dotted with pores and faint freckles you think you could count if he let you. There are a couple of spots on his jaw, too — some still red, others already scared over — that make his scowling face more youthful.
He’s got a couple of dark circles under his eyes, which you think means he doesn’t get as much sleep as he should. He’s got a pair of perpetual smile lines beside his mouth, too, which must mean he laughs a lot (even if he isn’t now). And he’s got a subtle furrow between his bushy brows ‘cause he’s totally the quiet, observant type.
You’d like to think you’re taking a closer look at him than anyone else in Hawkins ever has. Where they see a freak with crazy hair and a dangerous attitude, you see an old soul with young eyes and a wild mind.
“Is this you?” you wonder aloud, with ice cream clinging to the corners of your mouth.
Eddie lifts his hand and taps the key fob twice. The rusted tin can behind him unlocks with a hearty ca-chunk. He fakes a tight-lipped smile, “Yep.”
You rush around the hood then, hurrying for the passenger seat and struggling to finish the rest of your ice cream. Eddie eyes you expectantly as he lifts himself onto the chipped pleather of the driver’s side. His deadpan face twists with amusement as you inhale the remaining bits of your ice cream.
Your eyes go wide when you catch him staring, cheeks jutted like a chipmunk’s. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, then swipe your palms together. “Sorry— Sorry, I didn’t—” you swallow hard and try not to choke. “I didn’t wanna get ice cream all over your van.”
A laugh sputters from Eddie’s mouth, a more boyish sound than you thought he was capable of, and he hurries to cover his mouth with his fist. He can feel the sharp stinging of his fangs as they stab slowly through his gums, more prominent now that you’re so close to him — smelling as sweet as you look.
“Well, this isn’t exactly a sports car,” he scoffs. “I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
You swallow down the rest and hop in beside him. The faux leather of the passenger seat has grown distressed with time, sticking to your sunkissed thighs where your skirt doesn’t reach and poking you in places. The smell of his cologne stains the interior, along with a more subtle, skunkier scent.
You have to tug extra hard on the seatbelt — once, twice, and then a third time — before it gives.
Eddie sticks the key into the ignition and twists. A heavy metal guitar solo blares suddenly through the speakers, rattling the old van and making both of you lurch with a momentary panic. 
“Shit!” the boy curses as he reaches for the blasting radio. He turns down the volume with pale, lanky fingers, wide eyes flitting from the console to the pavement as he peels out of the Starcourt lot. “Shit… Sorry.”
You shrug a bare shoulder. “It’s okay. I listen to my music loud, too. I’m pretty sure I’ve blown out the headphones to at least two Walkmans by now.”
“Yeah?” Eddie hums with a lazy smile. “What kinda stuff stuff do you listen to?”
You purse your lips to the side and avert your gaze as you ponder the question. “Van Halen, definitely… Dio and Def Leppard occasionally— oh, and don’t even get me started on Ozzy Osbourne.”
Eddie feels like his heart’s in his throat. It settles there and makes it hard to breathe while his anxious hands fidget on the steering wheel.
You can’t be this pretty and like all the music he likes. It’s just not fair. It’s like the universe is trying to kill him. (Even though it kinda already did that once.)
“Are you joking?” he wonders aloud, laughing with furrowed brows. His chocolate eyes dart from you, to the winding road before him, and back again. The soft smile on your lips blossoms into a more mischievous thing, and he nods slowly to himself. “You’re… You’re joking, right?”
“I might’ve been looking at your cassettes, yeah.”
Eddie’s gaze flits downward to where he keeps his tapes stacked in a cubby beneath the console. His chest aches with a distant embarrassment. “Right…” he huffs.
“Real answer?” you offer with a twinkle in your eye, spinning in the seat to face him more. You tuck your feet beneath you and count each name on your fingers. “Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, ABBA, and Blondie. That’s my top four— Not in that order, though! I love them all equally.”
“That makes… a lot more sense.”
“Do you have any of their tapes we could listen to?”
Eddie scoffs a faint laugh until he realizes you’re being serious. His tightlipped smile ebbs as he answers, “I can’t say that I do. No.”
“That’s too bad,” you huff and slouch further in the passenger seat. You gaze out the window with a faraway look in your eyes and start rambling before you mean to.
“I’ll let you bum one of mine, if you want. You can borrow my copy of Arrival, that’s one of my favorites! My most favorites. Or Super Trouper, maybe. I love that one, too...” You deflate with a heavy sigh. “Shit. I can’t decide— Which one do you prefer?”
Eddie stammers for an answer. He feels like you’re barely speaking his language.
“Screw it. I’ll just make you a mixtape,” you decide firmly. “It’s impossible to pick just one.”
Eddie nods wordlessly to himself, unconvinced that he’ll ever actually see you again — like this, anyway. With you making a home in the passenger seat of his van, which has never known a pretty girl like you before now.
“You could always swing by the pool if you want,” you offer with a hopeful grin. “Adam lets me man the radio sometimes.”
“Does he?” Eddie hums indifferently.
“When I wear my bikini, yeah.”
His face screws at the thought of someone taking advantage of you in that way, with you perhaps too gullible to understand. “Well, Adam sounds like a dickwad,” he grumbles and shifts his grip on the steering wheel.
“A massive dickwad,” you giggle like it’s your first time ever using the phrase. “One time, I played my Billy Joel tape, and he called it pedestrian. Pedestrian! Not only is that, like, totally sacrilegious or whatever, but it’s also extremely pretentious. Just call it lame or something, you sound arrogant.”
When your rambling ceases, you can hear Eddie laughing. Really laughing. Not just that weird breathy sound he keeps making. It spills from his mouth like sunshine, though he tries to stifle it with a fist pressed to his mouth. And even though you don’t remember saying anything particularly funny, you laugh alongside him.
“Why do you cover your smile when you laugh?” 
“Why do I do what?”
“You always put your hand over your mouth when you smile,” you observe with a curious squint. “Did you know that?”
Eddie’s tongue darts over his protruding fangs, which peek in faint slivers from his pink gums now. You would only see them if you checked his mouth like a dog, but he gets self-conscious about it, anyway.
“No. I didn’t. Must be an old habit, I guess,” he stammers, lying through his teeth as he turns into the parking lot of Hawkins Community Pool. 
The crowd there has seemingly ebbed with the setting sun, which he’s grateful for. He stays on the far edges of the property still, lest he draw any unwanted attention. ‘Cause the only thing more recognizable than his wild hair is the tin can he rides around in.
His ringed hands curl around the gear stick. The van jerks softly when he puts it in park. Eddie clears his throat. “We’re, uh— We’re here.”
You get distracted easily, and he’s grateful for that, too. You drop the conversation entirely as you reach for the seatbelt. The buckle clicks when you unfasten it. “Thanks for the ride, Eddie,” you chirp with a pretty smile.
His head snaps in your direction with enough force to give him whiplash. His mouth opens and closes like a fish as he gapes at you. He struggles to find the words to say. He thinks he’d rather face a hundred demobats (again) than have this conversation.
“You…” he swallows hard, adam’s apple bobbing. “You know my name?”
You shrug, oblivious to his otherwise very palpable fear. “‘Course I do.”
His heart would stop if he weren’t already dead. He thinks the force of his current shock could jolt it into beating all over again. Though, he figures he has no right to be so surprised. He is Eddie Munson, after all — the town freak who didn’t murder Chrissy Cunningham but left her to die instead. 
No one knows that she’d been long in the dying before Eddie ran like a coward. No one knows that there was nothing he could do to stop the dark wizard from killing her. No one knows that he died trying to avenge her death despite all that. And no one ever will — save for the handful of teenagers who saved Hawkins alongside him. 
Eddie knew, from the moment he rose from the dead and made it out of that godforsaken hellscape, that he would never be seen as the hero. He didn’t want to be. He just wanted to be a kid.
But here he is now. A half-dead and hated thing. A creature not worth loving.
And here you are, smiling at him like you intend to love him back to life.
“So… So you know what happened with… With the…” He talks with his hands and struggles to make the words out. He always has. He always will.
You nod before he has to. “Yeah. I think I just… I figured that wasn’t something you wanted to talk about with strangers—”
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he insists.
“Then me not bringing it up was a good thing, right?”
“I mean, yeah, but—”
“Well, I’m hearing a lot of talking for someone who doesn’t want to talk about it,” you mock, not totally unkind, just a little bit strange. 
Eddie almost laughs at that. “I’m just— I’m confused.”
“About what?”
Now, he really lets himself laugh because the answer’s rather obvious. 
“Because most people are scared of me!” Eddie blurts with a cynical chuckle, gesturing wildly with his pale, ringed hands. “Everyone thinks I’m some— psycho-killing murderous freak.”
“Well, I don’t,” you insist, all pretty in your way, as you shift on the worn pleather seat beside him. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”
You unlatch the glove box ahead of you and help yourself to its contents. The junk inside clatters together while you search very obviously through it, rambling mindlessly to yourself as you do so. 
“You like mint-chip ice cream cones smothered in sprinkles. And your initials are sewn onto the waistband of your jeans— like you’re gonna lose them or something. And… there’s a Blondie tape hiding in here.” You giggle to yourself and flash him the cassette.
Eddie blinks at you like an owl. “That’s not mine.”
“Secret girlfriend?” you tease with a scrunched nose.
“Secret tape,” he confesses before plucking it suddenly from your fingertips. 
There’s a whole story behind it that he’d tell you if he could. About how he couldn’t leave the house for some weeks after he came back to life and how his friends brought him things to pass the time. Robin Buckley had an elaborate assortment of board games that bordered on concerning, and Dustin Henderson had brought an entire library to his trailer. 
The rest of them put together a selection of tapes for him to listen to. He can’t be sure now if Nancy Wheeler really gave up her prized Blondie cassette or if Mike Wheeler did it without her knowing.
You struggle to bite back your laughter as you sort through the center console next. 
“See! That doesn’t exactly read psycho-killing murderous freak to me, Eds. Honestly, it kinda reads as someone who’s never hurt anyone in their whole life, who probably wants everyone else to stop hurting them—” You cut yourself off with a gasp. “Ah! Here it is.”
You dig a rogue ink pen from the depths of the console. A bright smile tugs at the edges of your lips. Eddie’s still struggling to breathe when you reach for him. “Can I have your hand?”
“Why?” he wonders with pinched brows.
“You’ll see,” you lilt mischievously and take his ringed hand in your smaller one. 
He worries, briefly, that you might comment on how cold he is for the middle of summer. But if you notice it at all, you don’t mention it as you scribble your number onto the back of his hand.
Eddie grimaces when the tip presses hard into his pale skin. “Ow…”
“See? You’re just a big baby,” you joke, giggling quietly to yourself. You click the pen with your thumb as you part from him. “There. Now you have my number.”
Eddie flashes you a dubious glance, unsure of what he ever needed your number for.
You answer his silent question like it’s obvious. “So I can give you the mixtape.”
“Right,” he hums with a slow nod.
“Well, I’m gonna go clock back in before I get a total earful from Adam,” you sigh and reach for the metal door handle. “Thanks for the ride, Eddie.”
“Don’t mention it,” he shrugs nonchalantly as you slide out of the van. The back of your pleated skirt rises softly in the process, flashing a glimpse of your ass. He swallows hard and stammers. “Just— Just, like, be safe, or whatever.”
“Or whatever,” you mock with a lighthearted chuckle.
“Well, this is a crazy world we live in, haven’t you heard?” Eddie jokes to cover up his blunder. He tilts his wild head to his shoulder as a pink smile forms crooked on his mouth. “I hear psycho-killing murderous freaks are roaming the streets these days.”
He expects you to laugh, but you grow strangely serious instead, furrowing your brows as you mumble to yourself. “Crazy World... That’s a good song, actually. I should put that on the mixtape—”
You forget to say a proper goodbye as you close the door behind you. The rusted metal hinges screech before slamming shut. You walk off towards the pool house without another word, flip-flopping the entire way to the front gate. Eddie watches you go with his features twisted in a subtle mixture of shock and awe.
Steve Harrington was right. What the hell was that?
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
         oh, how could i ever refuse?
          i feel like i win when i lose . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Three days pass before Eddie sees you again. Not that he’s counting, anyway. He debates, however, calling you on the second one — but by then, your number had long disappeared from his hand. He decided, then, to count his losses and pretend he wasn’t as boyishly heartbroken as he felt. 
Missing you was a double-edged sword. He never wanted to see you again, but he mourned for you always. He prayed he’d never run into you like before but searched for you in all the faces he met. It was agony. 
When he drops Dustin off at Scoops Ahoy after a long afternoon of campaigning, Eddie tells himself it’s not with intent to run into you there. He tells himself it wouldn’t be the worst thing, but not to get his hopes too high. That he’d only make a fool of himself. That it’d be better if he didn’t see you at all.
He’s left grieving anyway when he doesn’t immediately spot your face in the dwindling crowd of the ice cream shop.
“If it isn’t the man of the hour,” Robin lilts from where she sits at one of the tables, obviously on her break and eating from a bowl of the rainbow gummy bears they use as toppings.
“You dweebs talking about me?” Eddie scoffs as he shoves Dustin light-heartedly ahead of him. 
As soon as he crosses the threshold of the small shop, you come very suddenly into view. You sit ahead of Robin, in your usual uniform, and with your usual rainbow sherbet cone. You steal a few rogue gummy bears from her cup and dip them into your ice cream, which has started to melt with your distraction. 
He stills in place, struck with a bolt of blue. Your pretty, summer scent hits him full force, then — slaps him in the face and demands to be noticed. You flash him a small smile, and he has to remind himself to breathe.
“Not at all,” Robin answers with a knowing smirk.
Steve scoffs from where he wipes down the counter, tendons flexing in his golden arm. “Only for ten straight minutes.”
“We were talking about how I gave you my number. And how you never called,” you explain to the poleaxed boy, tilting your chin to your shoulder to peer at him from beneath your lashes. A mischievous smirk hints at the corners of your lips. “A girl could start to wonder, you know?” you tease, only partially playful.
Eddie stammers for an explanation. He feels like his heart’s in his throat, like it’s closing on him, and like he can’t really breathe.
He blinks rapidly as his head starts to swim. He zeroes in on your heartbeat, though he knows he shouldn’t. It’s a soft and rhythmic whoosh, whoosh, whooshing — like that of an excitable baby deer. His hands ball into fists until his dull nails leave crescent shapes in his palms.
Dustin gapes at the sight of you. “You’re real?” the strange, curly-haired boy blurts.
“Me?” you ask with pinched brows, motioning to yourself with the ice cream cone.
“Dustin!” Eddie scolds, nudging him pointedly on the shoulder.
The boy cowers. “Sorry. It’s just… I thought you were, like, an imaginary person Eddie made up or something,” he admits, squinting his hazel eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. You flash him a dubious look until he elaborates obliviously. “‘Cause Gareth was making fun of him for not having any friends outside of Hellfire and stuff—”
“Hey,” Eddie snaps to get the rambling boy’s attention, tapping the brim of his Thinking Cap. “Shut up.”
“What’s Hellfire?” you wonder aloud.
“Book club,” Eddie lies.
You grin with furrowed brows. “You talk about me at book club?” 
“I mentioned you. Once. ‘Cause Gareth asked— And I didn’t call because the pen smudged,” Eddie answers all at once, swallowing hard when he feels bile building in his throat. He can’t get your heartbeat out of his ears. Or your scent out of his nose. It’s suffocating, all of it. “Does that clear everything up, or…?”
Steve hisses through his teeth. Robin scoffs. You blink at him with wide eyes, hardly expecting him to be so short with you. “Uh-huh,” you nod with a forced smile.
Eddie would apologize for it if he didn’t feel so sick. But now he teeters on the knife’s edge of nausea, unsure if he’s going to faint or vomit or both. So he fakes his own smile and inches towards the exit. “Great. I’m gonna— I think I’m gonna go—”
“And leave us with babysitting duty?” Steve scoffs. “How nice of you.”
Dustin frowns and flashes the makeshift sailor his middle finger.
Eddie fumbles to come up with an excuse. “I just remembered, uh— Wayne wanted me to record Cheers tonight, and I totally forgot. The ol’ geezer’ll kill me if he misses an episode, so… I gotta run.”
He ducks out without another word, grimacing at himself because he’s usually a much better liar than that. The others can surely see right through him. They know that he’s unwell — that he’s just hungry and impossibly overstimulated. 
But you don’t. You don’t know him at all, and maybe that’s exactly why you rush out of Scoops behind him.
Eddie shoves the glass exit of Starcourt Mall with trembling hands. The summer breeze rushes over him immediately, billowing through his hair and clothes. He takes his first good breath and the swimmy feeling of nausea starts to fade.
The hunger remains even still. The ravenous thoughts remain, too — of your heart between his teeth, beating on his tongue, and your blood tasting of sweet red wine.
When he starts to scare himself, his mind tells him that he’d never hurt you. That he hasn’t yet, and that he never will. But still, the thoughts are there, and they hardly ever leave.
Your fresh berry scent covers him like a shroud as he rushes to his casket (his van, really, but the symbolism fits.) You struggle to keep up with his longer strides, pleated skirt flouncing as you hurry behind him — a kicked puppy who doesn’t know when to stay back. 
“I don’t mean to annoy you, you know?” you call after him.
Eddie stills and spins sharply around to face you. You stumble back on rubber sandals to keep from running into him, trying not to cower when he towers suddenly over you.
“What?” he asks with his features swirled in confusion and distant suffering.
Your wide eyes dart over his pallid features, more sallow than you remember. You forget everything you were going to say as concern drips from your pretty features. “Do you feel okay?”
“I feel— fine,” he stammers, less than convincingly.
“Okay…” you nod, unconvinced, then repeat yourself. “I don’t mean to annoy you, by the way.”
Eddie shrugs. “What makes you think you annoy me?”
“I dunno,” you answers, sheepish in a way he hasn’t seen you before. You shift your weight on your scarlet sandals and talk wildly with your hands, looking everywhere but at him. “I kinda talked your face off a few days ago, and then I made that stupid joke about you not calling, and I just… I realized you don’t know me all that well. And that I can be kind of a lot sometimes. Or, you know, a lot of the time. But it’s not like I mean to be, you know? I don’t mean to be a burden or to—”
“You’re not a burden,” Eddie blurts.
Your breath catches as you blink at him with wild, glassy eyes. He gets the feeling no one’s ever said that to you before and tries to ignore the stinging in his chest.
“No?” you echo in a mousy voice.
“Not even a little bit,” he answers instantly.
You inhale a shaky breath that leaves through your mouth in a sigh of relief. “So you’re not upset with me?”
“No,” Eddie scoffs. “You haven’t done anything to upset me. So far, anyway.”
You nod to yourself at the reassurance. “Okay. Good. I just— I thought you ran off in such a hurry ‘cause you didn’t wanna be around me or something.”
You chuckle to yourself, feeling silly about it now. 
Eddie shifts awkwardly ahead of you ‘cause you’re not too far off.
“Do you… Do you want a ride?” he offers despite himself — despite his overwhelming feelings for you and despite the fact the buses are still running for another fifteen minutes. 
He chucks his thumb over his shoulder and flashes you a sheepish look. Because he isn’t sure of what to say now, or if he wants to leave you at all.
You duck your chin and scrunch your nose, too pretty for your own good. “If it’s not too much trouble?” you lilt.
Eddie only grins. “Who says I don’t like a little bit of trouble?”
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       ��                    ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
         under those white street lamps,
         there is a little chance they may see . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
He survives the golden hour, but just barely. Eddie hides from the setting sun underneath the covers, writhing on the thin mattress as he waits for the ravenous feeling of insatiable hunger to pass. It never does.
Instead, he feels the absence of you most ardently. He withers away as he grieves for you, like a wilting flower craving sunlight. But he’s nothing but a pale, gray, and exhausted thing now — an unloveable creature aching for a feeding. 
“Wayne…” Eddie grumbles tiredly, half muffled into his pillow. When he receives no response from his uncle, he musters the strength to shout. “Wayne!”
Footsteps trudge down the hall, bulky work shoes heavy on thin carpet. His bedroom door creaks slowly open, and his uncle stands beneath the frame of it — wearing the thick navy coveralls that has his name sewn in cursive on the chest. His weathered hands work at the buttons below the collar.
“What is it, Ed?” Wayne wonders in a gravelly drawl.
Eddie takes in a rattling breath, peeking one eye open to look at his uncle. His vision’s too swimmy for anything else. “Can you call Hopper?” he slurs like a sick child.
Wayne’s graying brows furrow in worry. He squints at his nephew across the bedroom, languishing beneath his covers and growing more waxen by the second. He’s typically only this miserable when he hasn’t fed in weeks.
“You hungry again? It’s only been a couple days.”
“I know,” the boy grumbles, squirming on the mattress like he can’t get comfortable. “I just don’t feel good...”
Wayne can see that much from here, so he doesn’t put up any more of a fight about it. He fastens the cuffs of his sleeves with wise and suddenly anxious hands. “I’ll give him a call before I head to work… You gonna be alright without me?”
Eddie nods against the pillow, curls frizzing around his head. He responds in jumbled slurs, “Mhm. ‘M alright. ‘M just… real tired…”
“I’ll call Hopper,” Wayne repeats, firmer this time, before shutting the door behind him.
Eddie spends the next half hour rotting away in the lonely trailer. 
Jim doesn’t bother to knock when he arrives, but it’s not like he needs to. He makes enough deliveries of the riboflavin kind to Forest Hills that he deserves his own key.
Besides, Eddie could smell him when he pulled into the driveway — the pint of blood he carried with him, more so. It’s a deep, rich, and powdery scent. Nowhere near as sweet as you. But then again, he doesn’t think anything could be.
“What’s the special this time, Chief?” Eddie jokes with a small huff as Hopper helps prop him against the headboard. 
The mustached man is still clad in his khaki work uniform, gold badge glinting in the lamplight. His hardened face remains in its usual deadpan frown, though his bushy brows furrow in a subtle confusion. “Do you really wanna know?”
Eddie thinks for a moment, then sighs. “No…”
Jim opens the brown paper bag sitting on the nightstand. He pulls out a plain styrofoam cup topped with a lid typically used for coffee. The thing looks innocent enough, save for a few drops of crimson staining the white of it, likely from an overfill. 
There was a time when Eddie could do it himself. Where he could puncture the blood bag Hopper delivered and pour it into one of the mugs he and Wayne have been collecting for years.
He stopped being strong enough for that a while ago, though. The sight of blood makes him queasy now, which is ironic for very obvious reasons.
The chief does most of it for him now, though Eddie thinks Hopper likes it best that way. 
“Here you go, kid,” Jim says as he passes the boy his cup of liquid scarlet. He holds the lid of it in his other hand, face screwed at the coopery smell engulfing the small bedroom. “Try not to think about it too much, alright?”
Eddie takes the cup in a trembling fist and squeezes his eyes shut so he can’t see its contents. He forces himself to down it in one go — equal parts because it’s easiest that way and because he doesn’t want to be too much of a baby in front of the chief. 
The blood tastes like a strawberry milkshake as he swallows it down, but that’s always the easiest part. It’s the after that’s so ruthless. After the overwhelming bout of starvation passes. After he’s half normal again. That’s when the blood starts to taste like blood — all metallic, like a bunch of old pennies. That’s when he feels like a monster.
Eddie groans when the cup is fully drained. He passes it back to Hopper with his eyes still shut. The man takes it with one hand and pats him on the shoulder with the other. “Good job, kid,” he mumbles, dropping the empty cup back into the bag. 
The boy relaxes against the pillows with a shuddering breath.
Jim waits until then to interrogate him. 
“What happened between now and four days ago?” he asks with his arms crossed over his chest, towering over the boy’s bedside. “This is the first time you’ve needed to feed more than once a week. Hell, it took Wayne and me almost a year to convince you to feed more than once a month.” 
Eddie shrugs lazily, lips jutted and eyes lidded. “Nothing happened.”
“I need to know, kid. So I can keep you safe.”
And so I can keep everyone else safe, too, but he doesn’t say that part.
“It’s just— This girl,” Eddie confesses, then grumbles with a sigh. “I don’t know, alright. It doesn’t even matter.”
Hopper squints. “What girl?”
“No one,” Eddie insists, then cowers under the man’s glacial stare. “Fine. Some-one. She just— makes me go all weird or whatever. I don’t know.”
Jim hums, nodding softly to himself and trying not to be too amused at the thought of Munson having a crush. He scratches at the coarse hair underneath his chin. “And is… staying away from this girl an option, or…?”
Eddie ponders the question for a moment, then exhales a chest-deflating sigh. Just like he did when questioning the origins of the blood in his cup. You were a lot of the same in that way — a thing he needed to survive but wasn’t strong enough to face.
“No… I don’t think it is…”
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Hawkins Community Pool is strangely liminal after dark. The property itself is illuminated by only a few amber streetlamps, with most of its light coming from within — from inside the wooden pool house and beneath the sparkling cerulean water. 
Eddie parks his van on the darkened edges of the parking lot and tries to find the courage to leave it. The crowd is minimal now, having lessened significantly since he dropped you off some hours ago.
There are only a few stragglers left, most of them teenagers soaking in the last few minutes before closing. He’s grateful for that much. The fewer eyes on him, the better.
If he wasn’t being ogled at with gazes hardened with disgust or softened with pity, people weren’t looking at him at all. Their attempts to keep from staring were perhaps more blatant than they realized.
Maybe they didn’t want to be rude, or maybe they wanted to pretend he wasn’t there at all. It made Eddie hyper-aware of himself either way, which is why he often preferred to stay hidden.
He idles by the chain-link fence, swaddled in the humid summer air that smells overwhelmingly of chlorine and dewy grass. It takes several agonizing moments to catch your attention.
You dance softly in place and mouth the lyrics to a song Eddie can only make out vaguely from here, while the girl beside you stands perfectly and unenthusiastically still. 
You freeze when you catch Eddie’s gaze. Confused at first, then surprised. It takes a matter of seconds for both emotions to mix together and leave you a bumbling ball of excitement. 
The boy raises a ringed hand in a curt wave, which you reciprocate with a much more enthusiastic one. You turn to your co-worker and mouth something Eddie can’t hear before rushing to the parking lot to meet him. The flip-flopping of your rubber sandals grows as you make your way to him, along with the rustling of the windbreaker you wear over your bikini.
It’s a modest scarlet two-piece, with a high waist and a halter neckline — but much more of your skin is on display than Eddie’s used to. (If there was any time he needed to be grateful for a recent feeding, it was now.)
“Hi…” you greet, panting heavily as you stand before him.
“Hiya,” Eddie grins cheekily.
“I… I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I didn’t either, honestly.”
“Did you, uh— Did you and Wayne get to watch Cheers?”
It takes Eddie a moment or more to recall his earlier lie. He nods rapidly in response, perhaps too quickly to be truthful, but you don’t seem to notice. “Uh, no. Not yet. He’ll watch it when he gets back from the graveyard shift.”
“Okay. Cool,” you beam, eyes sparkling as they dart over his features — which have seemed to gain a bit of their life back. He’s still pale, but his eyes are less sunken in than they were. The dark chocolate of his irises swim with a melted honey color. “You look a lot better, by the way. Than you did when I left, I mean. I was scared you were getting sick.”
“Nah, I just… Needed a breather, I guess,” Eddie admits with a breathy chuckle. “I was with Hellfire all day, and… Babysitting’s a tough gig, turns out.”
You laugh alongside him, noticeably less forced. “No, I get it. I basically spend all day babysitting, so…”
“Right. I shouldn’t be complaining.” Eddie scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck and grimaces when his rings get caught in his hair. It takes a very noticeable moment for him to gain the courage to ask the question on the tip of his tongue. “Can, uh— Can I see your hand real quick?”
Your brows pinch. “Why?”
“You’ll see,” he lilts with the same mischievous smile you used on him some days ago now.
He holds a ringed hand expectantly out for you. Your gaze glimmers with intrigue as you put your fingers in his paler, colder ones. You watch him dig in his jacket pockets for a moment before pulling out the same ink pen you’d rescued from the depths of junk in his center console. He clicks it with his thumb, and you jerk your hand out of his.
“Wait!” you blurt. 
Eddie flinches, feeling like he’s done something wrong, like he must’ve hurt you in some way. 
Your features screw in a pinched look of concentration as you stick your hands in the pockets of your windbreaker. “I’m pretty sure I have a marker in here somewhere— Ah! Here it is!” You’re smiling all over again when you pass him the black Sharpie. “So it won’t wash off before I get to call you.”
“Right,” Eddie hums with a slow nod, taking the marker from you. He bites back a smile when he catches you shoving a pack of sparkly stickers back into your pockets. “What are those?”
“Stickers,” you answer, then grimace when you realize that much was obvious. You rush to elaborate. “For the younger kids that have older siblings. They usually get dragged here, and nine times outta ten, they haven’t learned how to swim yet, so… I try to make ‘em feel better with sparkly things.”
The grin Eddie tries to hide blooms very suddenly across the expanse of his pink lips. His chest swirls with a warmer feeling because you’re sort of his sparkly thing, in a way. A bright and glittering thing that makes him feel whole without trying.
You offer him your hand again, shier now. He wraps it in his larger one with fingertips that border on glacial. You fight back a shiver while Eddie uncaps the marker with his teeth. He mumbles through it while he scribbles his number on your wrist.
“Don’t let this scrub off before you get to call me like other idiots do, alright?” he jokes, flashing you a sparkling stare beneath his lashes.
“I’ll call you the second I get home,” you promise with a firm nod. “I’ll write it down, too, so I won’t forget.”
Eddie caps the marker with a lopsided grin sitting lazily on his mouth. “And it’s only for emergencies, alright? Like, if you need a ride or… A spare Blondie cassette that I may or may not have in my glove box.”
You nod again, this time with a giddy and very poorly hidden smile. “Emergenicies,” you parrot, so he knows you really heard him.
(You call him the second you’re back from your shift, though Eddie expected nothing less from you. The emergency in question? You missed him too much.)
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
          this is stranger than i thought,
          six different ways inside my heart  . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
You decide to visit him that weekend, unannounced and unexpected — which is basically how you entered his life in the first place.
You’re a smiling thing on his doorstep. A rival to the early morning sun beaming in rays behind you. Eddie squints one eye and grimaces at the brightness of each.
“Morning!” you chirp like a songbird.
“What are you doing here? How’d you even find me?” Eddie grumbles tiredly, rubbing his sleep-swollen eye with his fist. He wears his slumber all over — in the wild curls, and in the wrinkled shirt that used to be Wayne’s, and in the baggy plaid pants sitting low on his waist. 
The complete and utter opposite of you: an angel kissed with the summer season.
The sun sparkles in your hair. The warm breeze billows in your clothes. The scent of something sweet clings to your skin — of fresh cherries, vanilla cake, and swathes of dewy grass. Each is tantamount to your bone-crushing beauty, which borders on whimsical and intimidating now.
It’s weird seeing you out of your uniform. A strange, but welcomed sight. You’ve traded the mandated bathing suit for a flouncier dress. The thin cotton fabric clings to your torso and drapes over your thighs like summer rain. It’s a scarlet number, gingham-patterned, with two white bows for sleeves. 
Eddie’s tired eyes rake over your pretty form despite himself. He gapes when he finds the raging scrapes you wear on both knees, a bright crimson color to match your strawberry aura. “Jesus Chr— Are you okay?!”
You follow his gaze, bending softly at the waist to peer down at your legs. You press the skirt of your dress down with your palms, and your chest pinches at the sight of your raw knees.
Your eyes flit from the fresh scratches to the concerned boy ahead of you. “Which question do you want me to answer first?” you wonder with wide, sheepish eyes.
Eddie repeats, firmer now, “Are you okay?”
“I’m totally fine,” you shrug with a beaming smile before rambling an explanation, talking absentmindedly with your hands. “I decided to buy a bike after I got my paycheck, but I don’t really know how to ride it yet, so I’m trying to teach myself, and I… kinda accidentally swerved into a ditch on the way here.”
Eddie’s chest flares with a primal feeling. He can’t stand the thought of you hurt — can’t stand the thought of you hurt and him not being there to help you. “Okay…” he wavers with his face still screwed.
“I wasn’t stalking you, by the way! Scout’s honor!” you blurt, holding up four fingers instead of three. “I just knew you lived at Forest Hill’s, and, I mean, the van is a dead giveaway, Eds.”
“Fair enough,” he huffs.
“Besides, I really wanted to bring you something, and I couldn’t wait until I saw you at Scoops because the anticipation was driving me crazy—” You lose yourself in thought and slide past him in the doorway without thinking. 
Eddie just blinks and shuts the door behind you. “And… What is it… Exactly?” he wonders cautiously, only partially fearful of the answer.
It takes you a moment too long to answer him, as you get lost in the sights around you. The trailer was bigger than it appeared on the outside, not messy by any means, but very lived in. 
There’s a folded cot in the corner beside the recliner and a small square TV across from it playing morning cartoons. Vintage baseball caps line one wall, and a collection of mugs line the other. Everything feels like a self-portrait of the Munson family.
“The mixtape I promised,” you answer finally, spinning around to face him again. You pull a plastic cassette from the pocket of your dress and gesture with it in a nervous hand. “I was starin’ at this thing all night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you— about giving it to you, I mean.” You correct yourself with a nervous laugh and rush to move on. “I’ve always been super bad with gifts— I can’t keep ‘em a secret to save my life. I’m good for, maybe, five seconds, and then I’m just like, gosh, I can’t wait anymore, you know?”
You realize you’re rambling and trail slowly off. You swallow hard, muster a wavering smile, and motion for Eddie to take the cassette. You watch as he studies it with a careful hand — pale and lanky and devoid of his silver rings.
“You made this for me?” he mumbles after a few moments.
“Well, I told you I would.”
“Yeah, but… You made this? For me?” he repeats, with a different inflection. ‘Cause he doesn’t know who else to put it. Doesn’t know how to tell you he doesn’t feel half deserving of anything you could give him.
You giggle in response. “You said you didn’t own anything ABBA. Or Madonna. Or Cyndi Lauper— so obviously, I had to make you an entire compilation of their discography. I’m not an asshole,” you laugh. “And I put a few of my favorite songs on there, too…. And songs that made me think of you and stuff…”
Eddie smiles before he means to. It’s a strange thing, he finds, to be thought of in such an innocent way — to be looked for in the places where he couldn’t physically be. He ducks his chin and peers at you with glimmering eyes. “Yeah? Like what?” he humors.
You don’t miss a beat. “He’s so shy!”
Eddie flinches at your singing — the volume of it, more so. Your voice rings across the quiet trailer, and a laugh sputters past his lips.  “Yeah. Alright.”
“That sweet little boy who caught my eye!” you continue and reach out for him, digging your fingers into the junction of his neck and shoulder. His skin is milky white, smooth, cold to the touch.
“Okay!” he chuckles and swats you away with a playful hand. “I get it!”
“It’s the Pointer Sisters,” you grin.
“I’ll take your word for it.” 
His chocolate eyes dart back and forth between both of yours, momentarily lost in the way you’re looking at him — with your eyes all squishy around the edges. He’s not used to being looked at so softly. Or being noticed at all. 
He swallows hard and averts his gaze. Your scrapped knees enter his vision again, weeping a bright scarlet that threatens to drip down your shins. He ignores any instinct of hunger. 
“You’re bleeding pretty bad, by the way.”
You only feel the ache when you’re reminded of it. Your stomach gets all swirly at the sight of your bruised knees, rubbed raw and stained with the grass that partially cushioned your fall.
“Gosh…” you mumble to yourself, clutching the skirt of your dress in your fists. You flash Eddie a sheepish look and a wavering smile. “Any chance I could bum a bandaid?” 
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
The bathroom is a tight fight, but you make it work.
You sit on the counter, per Eddie’s instruction, while he retrieves the first aid kit collecting dust in the medicine cabinet.  He sits on the edge of the bathtub across from you, way out of his element (in more ways than one), as he cleans your cuts with trembling hands.
His throat is tight with nausea. His head swims with it, too. White stars speckle his vision that he tries hard to blink away. The sight of your blood, diluted and pink on the white tissue, makes him weak.
He isn’t sure if it’s instinct or desire that makes him want to swallow you whole, but the primal urge to consume you is there — in the figurative sense, of course; to bury his teeth in your neck and have a piece of you forever. 
Being between your legs in such close confines is ample enough distraction, though.
You push the skirt of your pretty gingham dress up the expanse of your thighs to give him space to work. You sit with them slightly spread, too — enough to reveal a sliver of your underwear, he thinks. Eddie isn’t sure if it’s intentional or not, so he fights the boyish urge to catch a glimpse of the most private part of you.
“Jesus…” he huffs and chucks the napkin into the bin. With the blood and the grass stains now wiped away, he can see the scratches more clearly. Your delicate skin is abraded and raging with it. Like you fell and kept on falling. “Did you get mauled by a bear or something?”
“In the knees?” you quip.
“Looks like it.”
“I just wanted to match my dress,” you shrug. “That’s all.”
Eddie opens an alcohol swab with his teeth, then meets your pretty smile with a scowl. “You’re hurt. It’s not funny,” he deadpans after spitting the package from between his teeth.
“It is a little bit, though,” you argue just to argue, scrunching the bridge of your nose. He presses the damp wipe to your knee, and you flinch at the sudden stinging feeling. “Ow!”
He smiles at your pouting. “Maybe a little,” he concurs.
“That was mean!”
“You told me to distract you, so I distracted you. Sue me,” the boy shrugs, feigning innocence, as he reaches to toss the swab in the trashcan beside the counter. 
The sight of wadded tissue, all stained with your ruby-colored blood, makes his breath catch in his throat. The ground starts to sway beneath his feet. His eyes go lidded and heavy. His mouth waters with need.
Eddie shakes his wild head in a feeble attempt to remove the ravenous thoughts from his brain, but all it does is make him dizzier.
He blinks wildly as he reaches for a bandaid in the opened container beside him. It slips from his clammy, tremoring hands. He fumbles to grab it again and slaps it to the counter beside you.
“You okay?” he hears you ask, sitting right in front of him but sounding much further than that.
He sits up again and clears his throat, gaze dim and glassy. “Yeah. Yeah, just— Just give me a second…” He breathes hard through his mouth. Eyes squeezed shut. Knuckles going white around the edges of the ceramic tub. 
You watch with a wide, inquisitive stare as you smooth the bandages over your knees yourself. Your concerned gaze flits from the pallid boy ahead of you, to the plasters on your skin, and back to him again. 
“If blood makes you queasy, you coulda just said,” you joke, trying to make him smile, ‘cause you hate seeing him so ill. “You didn’t have to torture yourself just to help me.”
“Blood doesn’t make me queasy,” Eddie tells you, though he’s still slurring his words.
“Then why do you look like you’re about to hurl?” 
His glazed-over eyes are slow to open. “That’s just my face,” he deadpans.
“No. You have a pretty face, Eddie,” you insist as your giggling swells like sunshine in the tiny bathroom. “It’s just all scrunched together, like you’re gonna be sick or something— like this.”
You swirl your features in a manufactured look of drama and pain. Brows furrowed, nose scrunched, mouth snarled. Eddie chuckles before he can help it. The sick feeling still lingers, though not as obvious now. 
“You are bizarre. Did you know that?”
“I did, actually,” you giggle. 
Your entwining laughter fills the bathroom’s close quarters. The glittering noise echoes through the small trailer and finds Wayne at the doorstep. He toes off his work boots and pauses at the sound of giggling — one familiar and lower in pitch, the other foreign and sparkling. 
His socked feet pad down the length of the carpeted ground until he finds the door between Eddie’s bedroom and the kitchen’s edge, already ajar. It creaks loudly under the man’s calloused palm when he pushes it slowly open.
His tired eyes widen at the sight before him — a pretty girl on the sink with a pair of scrapped knees, and Eddie sitting on the tub ahead of her with bloodied tissue in the bin beside him.
Wayne’s heart falls to ass like a steep drop on a rollercoaster.
You smile brightly at the strange man. “Hello!” you greet with an enthusiastic wave.
He blinks slowly at you for a moment, then nods politely. “Hi there,” Wayne says in a deep and gritty drawl before turning to his nephew. “What’s goin’ on here?”
“Nothing,” Eddie blurts, all wide-eyed and fidgeting. He struggles to be casual as he swipes his clammy hands over his thighs. “We were just, you know, hanging out…”
“Everythin’ alright?”
Eddie nods quickly, then stops when it makes him queasy. “Yeah,” he answers, clearing his throat. “Yeah, she just— fell on her bike on the way over, and—”
He flinches when you gasp. 
“Wait! You’re Wayne!” you shout with a sudden recollection.
The man tries not to recoil at the volume of your voice — much too loud for so early in the day, like a chirping bird outside his window. He forces a tightlipped smile and nods again. “I am,” he tells you.
You smile so wide your eyes squint at the edges. “You have Eddie’s nose!”
Wayne laughs, a single scoffed breath. “What can I say? Big noses run in the family.”
“Well, I happen to like ‘em that way,” you insist with a casual shrug, kicking your feet back and forth from where you’re perched on the counter. Your heels meet the cabinet in several rhythmic thunk, thunk, thunks.
When you look down at your bandaged knees, Wayne and Eddie share a look without you.
The older man raises his greying brows. This girl is bizarre, Eddie can hear him saying. 
He nods wordlessly at his uncle’s silent observation, as though to say: I know she is, and I happen to like her that way.
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
          i guess you’re just what i needed,
          i needed someone to bleed  . . .
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
The plastic case of the cassette you made him clatters on the dashboard of his van, filling a silence that would otherwise be occupied by you. 
Eddie’s passenger seat, cracked and worn with age, feels strikingly empty without you in it. Which is strange, ‘cause your presence used to frighten him once. It does, still, he thinks — but now he mourns the haunt like an old, empty house. 
He drives his rattling tin can across town to Hawkins Community Pool, with a cup of rainbow sherbet rattling in the holder at his side, like an offering for a ghost he no longer wants to exorcise from the home behind his ribcage.
“It’s gonna melt before you get it to her,” Robin remarked with a smirk as she scooped ice cream with an expert hand. “You know that, right?”
Eddie bowed his head and tried to hide behind his curls. “Not if I run real fast,” he joked sheepishly.
The pastel sherbet softens quickly in the summer heat. (Not even the van’s middling A.C., pointed right in its direction, could keep it sufficiently cool.) The muted hues of pink, green, and orange begin to swirl together as the milky concoction undulates in his ringed fist. He hopes you don’t mind and prays you see past his feeble attempt to be kind.
“Well, well, well…” Billy Hargrove lilts with a pretty pink smirk at the sight of Eddie Munson’s familiar face. He lifts his sunglasses to the top of his mulleted curls and rests his magazine on his lap. “The dead has risen…”
The poor boy sticks out without trying, despite his desperate attempts to stay hidden — all but swimming in his leather jacket, baggy jeans, and wild hair. He’s a pale, death-touched thing floating in a sea of golden life. 
But, unlike the contemptuous leers from the other patrons, (some who are still certain Eddie killed Chrissy, and others who have always seemed to look at him that way), Billy Hargrove only smiles. A fake, sardonic grin that shows none of his teeth and shines mostly in his eyes. 
His squinted ocean gaze glimmers like he knows all of Eddie’s secrets — which is only half-true. Billy knows what the end of the world did to him, because it almost killed him too, once upon a time.
So, no. He doesn’t know all of Eddie’s secrets. 
Just the biggest one, maybe. 
Despite being largely immune to the summer heat, Eddie still feels the burn of embarrassment stinging his chest. Clawing behind his ribcage like a thousand ravaging demobats. The hot-cold aching of wishing he were dead ebbs when you turn to look at him over your shoulder — when your wide eyes of sparkling hope lock with his darker, dead-er ones.
There’s an undeniable spark of delight in your irises, though Eddie doesn’t know what for. No one’s been this happy to see him in a year. No one’s been this happy to see him ever.
Something about it makes his stomach hurt. Or maybe it’s just the way you and Hargrove are sitting behind the front counter together, like a couple of old friends, with glowing sunkissed skin hugged tight in scarlet bathing suits. 
In that split second, Eddie feels like he’s in high school again — a loser, not yet dead, pining for the pretty girl way out of his league and praying the basketball jock doesn’t shove him into the bleachers.
If you notice the momentary fear in his eyes, you don’t show it.
And if you care that he’s a loser, you don’t show that, either.
“Eddie! Hi!” you greet, giggling as you push yourself off the countertop. Your pleated skirt swishes around your thighs as you rush to him. Your matching sandals pad rhythmically along the stone floor. The flip-flop, flip-fop sound echoes through the shaded breezeway.
Eddie doesn’t know how wide he’s smiling when you’re finally standing ahead of him, but he can feel it burning in the apples of his cheeks.
“You haven’t been around for lunch,” he says in place of a greeting, fidgeting with the cup of melting ice cream in his fist. “I was scared that you keeled over or somethin’.”
“You were worried about me?” you wonder aloud, voice a few octaves higher than he’s used to. You purse your smile to the side of your mouth and scrunch your nose. “Aww…” you croon and dig two fingers into the junction of his neck.
Your touch is soft and warm and less than gentle.
Eddie cringes, effectively set aflame by the electricity of you. He shrinks back with a wavering smile and finds himself grateful that he’s too dead to blush these days — or else you’d see how hopeless he is. 
You ramble an explanation while his skin buzzes.
“I’m a little slow on my bike, turns out, and I couldn’t make it back here in time,” you tell him, which rests his anxieties a little.
Eddie’s been worried about you ever since he patched you up in his bathroom. Everyone’s been worried about you, in truth, ‘cause it’s a well-known fact that you’re a total klutz.
“And after being late for the third time, Adam got kinda mad at me…” you continue, shifting on your feet. “He got really mad at me, actually. I wore his favorite bikini, and he still threatened to fire me. I was, like, oh shit, I’m actually in trouble—”
You giggle to yourself, but Eddie feels like there’s a knife between his ribcage. A sharp, burning, and pulsing urge to get you away from all of these assholes. To get you out of this town. God knows it doesn’t deserve you.
He swallows hard and tries to joke. “Must’ve been real bad then, huh?”
You exhale a dramatic sigh. “Yeah, so… I’m kinda trying to get back on his good side and everything. It’s easier to just stay here. I would’ve called, but I— I didn’t think you cared that much.”
“I care!” Eddie scoffs, pale face swirled with offense.
“You’re the one that said emergencies only!” you mock through another pretty giggle.
“Abandoning me for a week is an emergency.”
You light up like a goddamn Christmas tree at that. 
“See! I knew you were worried about me!”
Eddie scoffs again and looks away. He focuses on the crowd bustling outside the breezeway because it’s easier than meeting your eyes. Until one of them catches his gaze and flashes him a leery look, anyway. Then he feels like he might puke. 
“Not at all,” he answers in a playful deadpan, clearing his throat when his voice shakes. “That’s definitely not why I decided to bring you a… half-melted cup of rainbow sherbet.”
His chocolate eyes avert to the plastic container in his fist, swirling the milky pastels again for good measure. When he looks at you again, it’s through his lashes and with his head bowed sheepishly.
You smile with your lips curled under your teeth — obviously giddy and trying hopelessly to hide it.
“I thought it was for me, but I didn’t wanna assume,” you admit quietly, cheek squished into your shoulder.
“It’s basically a milkshake now,” Eddie mumbles and extends his arm. His voice shakes as much as his hand does. “Sorry…”
You beam at the pinched look of worry on his face. “I like milkshakes, too, silly,” you giggle and take the cup of melted ice cream from him. 
Your fingers are gentle and strikingly warm as they brush his colder, paler ones. Warm like dragonfire, or an old house bathed in candlelight, or a freshly sharpened blade through the heart.
Eddie bleeds out on the pebbled concrete as you turn away. 
You rush back to the counter you leapt from, balancing the container in one palm as you bend over the top of it. A satiny summer breeze rolls through the shaded shack and billows through the pleats of your skirt, lifting the thin fabric to reveal the thong of your one-piece — a sliver of soft scarlet running between your thighs.
Eddie’s undead heart lurches into his throat. He turns his gaze to the ceiling until the wind passes.
Billy looks up from his magazine to smile at you with his teeth. “This your boyfriend, sweet thing?” he asks as you pluck your straw from the styrofoam cup you were just drinking from.
The nickname floats on the humid air and strangles Eddie accordingly. Your mouth curls around the end of the bendy straw before you give him a proper answer. You blow hard to dispel the remnants of room-temperature water before sticking the plastic into the milky concoction in your fist.
“Yes,” you answer plainly, then take a long sip of the softened ice cream. You shrug with the raspberry-orange taste on your tongue. “He’s a boy. And he’s my friend,” you lilt. “Jealous?”
Billy laughs. Loud. 
“Of Munson?” 
You nod quietly, straw caged between your teeth.
He laughs louder and slouches in his swivel chair. The golden muscles of his toned chest flex as he flashes you a quieter smile — one that might say he knows a lot more than you do if you cared enough to read the signals.
“I can’t say that I am, no,” Billy hums, faux sympathetically.
“Well, maybe if you were a little nicer, he’d be bringing you food, too,” you tell him, very matter-of-fact about the whole thing, as you spin on the heel of your rubber flip-flop and saunter away. 
Eddie grimaces when you’re ahead of him again. “Please tell me this isn’t the only thing you’ve had today.”
Your face screws as you take another sip. “No,” you answer with a firm shake of your head, though the word comes out garbled from the fruity concoction in your mouth. You swallow it down and confess, “I had half a Poptart for breakfast, so…”
“That’s… not breakfast,” the boy monotones, then motions his wild head to the cup cradled in your right hand. “And this isn’t lunch.”
“Well, I told you I don’t have time to get lunch,” you argue like a child, soft and sheepish, head bowed to avoid his unwavering stare. You stab at the softened ice cream with the plastic straw, leaving holes in the pastel swirls, as you mutter to yourself, “And I can’t make it for myself, either. I’m not adult enough for that yet.”
Eddie feels it again. The sting of empathy in his chest. The primitive need to help you that makes it hard to breathe most days.
He shrugs his leather-clad shoulders and crosses his arms over his chest, tucking his trembling hands under his armpits.
“Well— Maybe— Maybe I can, you know, bring you something?” Eddie offers, stumbling over himself the entire way through. He shifts on his feet and swallows through the frog in his throat. “Like, when I have the time, or whatever.”
He doesn’t tell you that he always has the time. (‘Cause he only works nights at The Hideout now, and spends the rest of the day’s many hours rotting in bed.)
Your face pinches into a girlish pout. Something soft, but sterner than he thinks he’s ever seen you before. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” Eddie argues. “And I’m not doing it outta the kindness of my own heart, either— It’d just make me feel better to know you’re not totally withering away whenever I’m not here.”
You try hard to keep your scowl. But then your chest starts to glitter like a thousand sparklers in July, and you’re beaming before you can stop it. Eddie watches the pretty smile curl slowly on your lips despite your futile attempt to hide it.
“What’s that look for?” he cautions.
“Nothin’,” you shrug, smiling with the straw between your teeth. “I just like you.”
Eddie forgets to breathe and dies all over again, right at your feet.
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
         only boys who save their pennies
         make my rainy day!
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
Most Tuesdays, some Wednesdays, and every Friday — (the mornings after his late night shifts at The Hideout) — Eddie Munson buys you lunch. 
He stands at the counter of Benny’s Burgers and pays with the rogue quarters and crumpled bills he finds in random pockets of his jacket. The bearded man looks on in slow-blinking bemusement while the boy counts out the $4.89 your sandwich costs.
Benny ends up throwing in free fries for the effort.
It takes Eddie an embarrassing amount of time to realize you were sneaking money into his pockets every time he visited you, even though he told you not to pay him back. Even though you swore you wouldn’t. (He’ll never believe another one of your stupid Scout’s Honor promises again).
Saturday comes, and Eddie’s cleaned out ’til his next shift on Monday. 
He thinks he’s handling it pretty well — the very palpable lack of you — but the contrary is written all over his face.
He’s sprawled out on the sunken-in couch in the living room with the headphones of his Walkman around his neck. Madonna plays muffledly (and far too happily) as he stares up at the ceiling, trying to make constellations of your face from the cracks and water stains.
Dustin watches his best friend grieve from the other side of the coffee table and sighs. “It’s the sandwiches, right? You guys hate the sandwiches?” he wonders aloud, but to no one in particular. “God, I knew I put too much jelly in them—”
“The sandwiches are amazing, Dusty-Bun,” Robin insists from Wayne’s recliner, with a mouthful of PB&J jutting out her freckled cheek. Her chipping maroon nails are stained with crumbs as they flash an ‘ok’ symbol in his direction.
With grape jelly on the corner of his mouth, Steve mumbles from the floor in front of her, “Doesn’t explain why Eddie’s still sulking over there, though.”
“Exactly!” Dustin huffs, flailing his arms.
Eddie rolls his eyes. He exhales a heavy breath that makes his chest deflate, then turns to face the eyes staring back at him. “I’m not sulking,” he grumbles like a rain cloud.
“Yeah. It’s the pouting that’s so convincing,” Max scoffs from Dustin’s other side, blinking at him from behind her glasses as she fakes a tight-lipped grin. 
Eddie just squints at her. She’s not nearly as menacing as she used to be. Not when her ocean eyes are bugged out from such thick lenses, anyway. Now he finds her sort of adorable, in a subtly intimidating way — like a kitten holding a pocketknife.
“I’m not pouting, either,” the wild-haired boy retorts, features scrunched in a soft pout.
Lucas wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “He just misses Barbie,” the boy croons playfully.
Eddie blinks at him with a flat face. “Barbie?” he echoes.
“Yeah,” he shrugs, voice high. “Barbie.”
“Am I supposed to know who that is, or…?”
“Oh, you know who she is,” Lucas nods with a boyish chuckle. “Very well.”
He keeps on laughing about it until Max elbows him hard in the shoulder. Steve misses the silent cue as he tears off a piece of bread crust, snickering to himself at the inside joke.
He pops it into his mouth and meets Eddie’s gaze, emotionless and expectant. His eyes widen as he stammers for a response.
“The girl— Your girl— She was at Jazzercise the other day,” Steve explains, then swallows hard. “She was with that pretty lifeguard, too. What’s her name again?”
He looks instinctively up at Robin for an answer. Eddie beats her to the punch. 
“Billy Hargrove?” he monotones.
“Ha-ha.”
“Heather Holloway,” Robin tells him.
“Heather!” Steve exclaims, snapping his fingers. “I’m pretty sure I dated her freshman year, actually… Or was that Heather Hart?”
The boy loses focus quickly as he goes deep in thought. Fluffy brows pinched, honey eyes squinted. A heavy silence lulls over the crowded living room, and Madonna’s muffled voice grows louder. ‘Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl!—
Before Eddie has time to be embarrassed, Steve shrugs at himself. 
“Doesn’t matter. Anyway. She was at Jazzercise with Heather just, like, dripping in pink. Pink leg warmers, pink leotard, pink tights…” Steve trails off again, stare glazing over like he's imagining you all over again. “It was crazy…”
Eddie’s face swirls in disgust. Not at the thought of you, of course, but at the notion that your beauty is perceptible to others. That he isn’t the only one who can see you, admire you. He is not the only one you’ve threatened to kill with your piercing stare, and the thought alone makes his stomach twist.
“You’re such a boy,” Eddie scoffs.
Robin leans forward, freckled face solemn and serious. She rests her elbows on her denim-clad knees and slowly shakes her head. “No… It was crazy,” she echoes more earnestly.
It sounds different coming from her. It means something different coming from her, too. Eddie’s brows raise and disappear beneath his curly bangs. “Oh, yeah?” he hums with bated breath.
“Yeah,” Robin answers with a disbelieving sigh.
“Hence, the nickname,” Lucas nods, seemingly missing the meaning ‘cause the only other girl he’s cared to notice besides Pheobe Cates is the redhead sitting beside him.
The girl with magnifying glasses over her eyes and legs that don’t work as well as they used to. Despite the circumstances (involving dark wizards and a certain death), Max hasn’t changed at all. And neither has the way Lucas’ teenage boy heart beats for her.
Eddie scoffs a tired laugh. He turns back to the ceiling and throws an elbow over his eyes. “I’m gonna tell her you guys call her that behind her back, by the way.”
“It’s a compliment!” Dustin defends, a few octaves higher than normal.
“Or you could tell her to her face,” Max offers with an absentminded shrug, folding her napkin into a weird shape in her lap — only ‘cause she’s fidgeting, of course, not because Dr. Owens said it would help ease the stiffness in her fingers. (Being dead might’ve taught her some things, but listening to figures of authority is not one of them.)
“She’s working today. Billy said so.”
Eddie peeks at her, flat-faced. “Did he?”
“Yeah. Means you can go visit your girlfriend instead of bitching and moaning about how much you miss her all weekend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, Mayfield.”
“That’s beside the point.”
“No. That is entirely the point,” Eddie argues, laughing more sincerely now. “Other than the fact that the sun will literally kill me.”
Max’s light eyes narrow into thin slits behind her clunky glasses. She says the hard thing out loud, without blinking. that the rest of them are already thinking, anyway.
“You’re already dead, Munson.”
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
          hey, you, with the pretty face,
         welcome to the human race!
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
No wonder the streets seemed so apocalyptically empty, Eddie thinks to himself as he walks through the front gates of Hawkins Community Pool. Because every goddamn person in town has chosen to spend their Saturday here.
Benny from the diner sits by the kiddie pool next to the entrance, watching his daughter wade in the shallow water. He looks like a different person without his grease-stained apron on. His swim trunks are bright red and slightly too short for him, his Hawaiian shirt is unbuttoned to reveal his beer belly, and his face is burnt everywhere but under his sunglasses. 
Jason, Andy, and all the rest of their goons hog the picnic tables while pretty girls sit on the tops of them — wearing their expensive bikinis and basking in the sun like it’s shining just for them. The boys laugh and shove at one another, trying to pretend like they’re far too cool for it all.
Familiar faces fill the blue water, but it’s hard to make them out in the crowd. Everyone’s swimming and splashing and stuffed within the chain-linked fence like cattle. They all go blurry, like a bunch of indistinct shapes before a backdrop of bright colors. Like a Claud Monet painting, if he ever cared enough to paint uninspiring Midwestern towns.
It’s far too packed to feel self-conscious ‘cause this is the kind of horde you drown in. But that just means it’s catastrophically overstimulating. For Eddie, most of all, who’s sorely out of place in his leather jacket and baggy jeans and dirty sneakers.
The boy cranes his neck to search for you, dark eyes flitting wildly over the crowd — once, twice, and then a third time.
You’re nowhere to be found, and he knows this because your face is far too pretty and not easily missed. Your sweet hibiscus scent is equally absent, drowned out by the overwhelming smell of chlorine, sunblock, and sweat.
If you were around, he’d know it.
“She’s not even here!” Eddie huffs, lifting his arms only to drop them dramatically at his sides. Any arguments about his pouting are surely moot now. Even he can feel the petulant scowl pinching his features.
Max, equally confused, stands at his side and pushes her glasses up her nose. “Billy said she was working today. I heard him on the phone. He definitely said it,” she observes, mostly to herself, ‘cause she can’t stomach being wrong. “Well… He said he was opening with the two prettiest girls in town, so I figured one was probably Heather and the other was—”
“Barbie?” Eddie finishes flatly.
“Yeah.”
“Well, she’s obviously not here, so… Let’s just go back home and do— literally anything else.” 
Eddie spins on the heel of his worn sneaker with the intention of going back the way he came. His van is parked crooked, anyhow. Steve complained as much when he parked his shiny new BMW right beside him. He figures he should probably get back before someone slashes his tires. Again.
He nearly runs into someone the second he turns around. Someone standing far too close for comfort, in a bright red bathing suit and matching skirt, with too big sunglasses on the top of her head.
“Who’s not working today?!” the person shouts loudly in his face, with the evident intent to scare him.
Eddie stumbles back into Steve, who promptly shoves him forward again. It takes him approximately that long to realize it’s you.
You guffaw when the rest of them jump in fright — a loud and heavenly sound that refuses to be drowned out by the droning of a million different conversations.
“I totally got you guys!” you exclaim, giggling so hard your head tilts back. 
Eddie laughs with you, mostly in shock, as he clutches his chest where his heart isn’t beating.
“Admit it! I got you a little?” you say, pinching your thumb and forefinger and squinting through the sliver of space between them.
“Yeah,” the boy huffs a forced laugh. “Yeah, a— a little bit.”
Visibly delighted by his words, you beam brighter than the golden hour sun.
“I knew it!” you grin before your eyes flit over his shoulder, to the group of friends gaping wordlessly behind him. You scrunch your nose sympathetically. “Sorry… You guys were just collateral.”
“You know I have a bad heart,” Steve complains for the sake of complaining, clutching his chest over his short-sleeved button-up. He flashes you a stern look and gripes, “That shit’ll kill me.”
Your eyes narrow in a challenging squint. “You’re twenty-one years old, Steve.”
“Yeah,” he scoffs. “And being around you ages me five years.”
“Well, then, I guess we’re gonna have a very long, very happy life together. Aren’t we, Stevie?” you retort with a sickly sweet smile that Steve meets with a scruffy-faced scowl. 
Eddie watches the brunette boy roll his eyes like he wasn’t getting half-hard at the thought of you at Jazzercise an hour ago. It makes him only partly jealous.
He could never dream of being so casual around you. ‘Cause when your eyes find his again, it feels like his stomach’s doing backflips. It’s like he blinks, and he forgets how to speak.
“So!” you chirp. “Family trip?”
Eddie opens his mouth and doesn’t realize until that moment that every word in the English language has left his brain. Robin shoves him hard in the back to put his head back on straight. The words fly from his mouth like a pull-string doll.
“I didn’t wanna bother you, but these idiots forced me into it.”
“Good. You need to get out of the house from time to time, Eds— You’re getting so pale,” you ramble and reach suddenly for his face. Eddie freezes when you take his chin by your thumb and forefinger. The warmth of your velvety touch sets his skin aflame; more so when you look directly into his wide-eyed gape and say, “There’s nothin’ wrong with needing a little sunshine, Eddie Spaghetti.”
“Weird,” Max muses with a sarcastic lilt. “That is exactly what we’ve been trying to tell him, too.”
Eddie shoots her a glare — the best he can, anyway, with your hand still cradling his jaw. He can only see the redhead from the corner of his eye, but the smug smirk on her freckled face doesn’t go missed.
Your fingers slip from his face, and Eddie feels like he can breathe again. He feels strangely empty, still, without you touching him — like he’s starving, or like he’s never been touched before now. Sometimes, it feels like both are true.
He wonders if that’s just the price he has to pay. If being near you means feeling like he’s dying and coming to life all at once. There’s a nagging voice in the back of his head that tells him he’ll pay it, with your pretty fingers strangling his neck and all.
“You’re MADMAX, right?” you wonder aloud to the girl with auburn plaits draping her freckled shoulders.
She’s mostly a stranger to you now, but you think she must mean a great deal to the rest of them. They talk a whole lot about the redhead with chunky glasses who acts like she’s way too cool for it all but defends her Dig Dug high score like her life depends on it. 
The girl nods and crosses her pale arms across her chest, flashing you a suspicious, tightlipped smile. “Yeah. Which means you must be Barbie?”
“Barbie?” you echo.
Eddie chimes in then. “That’s what these freaks call you when you’re not around,” he says, nodding his wild head to the group of aforementioned freaks behind him.
Your face twists as you bring your hand to the center of your chest. “That is the nicest thing anyone’s ever called me before,” you respond, strangely sincere.
Lucas smiles from over Max’s shoulder, nodding like he’s proud. “You’re welcome,” he tells you.
Dustin stands just beside him with a conspicuous paper bag under his arm. You squint past Eddie and over to the curly-haired boy. “What’s that?” you blurt.
It takes him a second too long to answer. “Oh. Uh. A sandwich—” he stammers vaguely, extending his arm towards you. You take the sack from him without thinking twice and rifle blindly through its contents.
“PB&J?” you guess with an inquisitive arch to your brow. Dustin nods, looking pleased by your assumption. Your arm stills suddenly within the crinkling brown sack, and your eyes narrow into thin slits. “With the crust cut off?”
“Uh… no.”
“Good. That’s obviously the best part of the whole sandwich,” you respond, almost to yourself, as you pluck the snack from the bag. 
You unwrap it from its plastic seal and take a hefty bite in one fell swoop. Your eyes flutter shut like it’s something gourmet, and not just something Dustin slapped together on his kitchen step stool at home.
“Thank you for this,” you mumble through the wad of food in your cheek. “You’re officially my new best friend, Dusty-Bun.”
“Rude,” Eddie scoffs.
You swallow hard and fight back a smile, like you were hoping for that exact response. “And who said you were my best friend in the first place, hm?” you argue playfully, waving the half-eaten peanut butter jelly sandwich in his face. “That is very presumptuous of you, Eddie Spaghetti.”
Your pleated skirt flutters at your hips when you spin on the heel of your plastic sandal. You flip flop, flip flop out of the shaded shack and towards the sunshine and unadulterated chaos. The rest of them follow behind you — save for Dustin, who migrates to Eddie’s side with a far-off gaze.
“Sure she’s not your girlfriend?” the kid wonders, never once taking his eyes off the back of you.
Eddie looks down at him with a flat face. “I’m sure,” he monotones.
Dustin grins wide, likely forgetting that other people can see it, too. “Good,” he hums to himself.
“Don’t get any ideas, Henderson,” the older boy blurts before he means to, then tries not to cower under the expectant glance he gets. “You’re obviously way out of her league.”
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
The group fits in pretty well despite being the self-proclaimed outcasts of Hawkins, Indiana.
Steve most of all, but that usually goes without saying. He looks like small-town royalty in his brand-name polo and too-expensive navy swim shorts. He’s lost his touch since high school, though, as he tries and fails to flirt with Carol Perkins’ sister.
“So, Amber— What’d you say you were studying again?” you hear him ask as he lingers awkwardly by the longue chairs.
“My name is Autumn,” she corrects in a drawl that’d give a valley girl a run for her money.
Steve, oblivious to his blunder, only smiles. “Oh, cool. That’s, like, definitely in my top four favorite seasons—”
Robin, in a strange turn of events, is much more casual in her flirting than her co-worker-slash-best-friend. She spotted Vicki the second she walked in, sitting with a few girls from yearbook and rubbing sunscreen onto her supple skin.
She pretended she didn’t, though, which only made it that much more obvious that she had. Vicki waved at her once, then again to invite her over, and Robin was far too awkward to decline. 
Now, she sits gracelessly with a bunch of half-strangers and her biggest crush, looking only slightly out of place in her frayed shorts and Steve’s baggy tee. She nods politely in conversation and thanks the universe for making it so damn hot today. At least now she can blame her burning freckled face on the golden setting sun.
Dustin and Lucas, meanwhile, stuff their faces with ice cream sandwiches in a feeble attempt to consume them before they melt. The softened vanilla leaves messes on their fingers and faces, making them look somehow more boyish than their respective Spiderman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle swim trunks.
Max sits off to the side of them in her own chair, partly overstimulated, and trying to let the piercing sunbeams ground her again.
Eddie Munson, however, in his attempt to blend in, only draws more attention to himself.
He sits beside your post, shaded beneath a wide umbrella, in the same attire you’d see him in on any other day. The baggy jeans, and the thick leather jacket, and the Corroded Coffin merch. He’s dripping in black and silver but hasn’t yet broken a sweat. You don’t know how, though. ‘Cause you’re hot just looking at him.
You pluck your plastic whistle from your mouth to ask, “Are you sure you’re not burning up over there?”
Eddie laughs before he means to because the answer’s obvious to him. 
The last time he felt an ounce of heat was when he was bleeding out on the dirt floor of an alternate universe — when crimson blood ran warm over the mangled skin of his chest and ribs. He’s been colder than ice ever since. And he keeps forgetting you don’t know about any of that.
“Yeah. I’m sure,” he answers, angling his head to face yours.
There’s a white cast on his grey face from sunscreen deliberately not rubbed in. It feels like a shield in some way. Not in the warm-blooded human kind of way, of course, but in the vampiric curse kind. The kind that would otherwise make him debilitatingly weak sitting outside like this. Now, he feels somewhat normal.
The golden hour sun sits like a halo behind your head. He squints one eye to see you better. “If you wanna see me shirtless, you can just say that,” he jokes. “Instead of beating around the bush and everything—”
“I wanna see you shirtless,” you blurt in a strange monotone that makes it hard to tell if you’re joking or not.
The boy falters. Tries not to choke on his own spit. There isn’t a world where he can flirt with you where you don’t immediately snatch the upper hand. It’s like you’re immune to that sort of diffidence. Eddie wishes he was, too.
“Wow,” he scoffs after the few long moments it takes him to recover. “Way to be blunt, sweetheart.”
“You told me to say it!”
You give him a lazy shrug and a lazier smile as you swap the bright red lifeguard buoy to your other arm. Eddie shifts uncomfortably in his seat, as though physically affected by the way you look at him, and the plastic pool chair makes a weird squeaking noise beneath him.
“Yeah, well, most people tend to be more subtle about it.”
“I’ve never been subtle about anything in my life.”
You turn back around to scan the busy pool, and Eddie feels like he can breathe again. A laugh rattles through his tight chest as he quips, “I’m starting to realize that about you, actually—”
“God. Stop flirting,” Max groans from your other side, who has otherwise been so silent that Eddie was starting to forget she was there. She doesn’t turn to look at either of you from where she lazes on the lounge chair. “Sitting with Steve would be more bearable than this.”
“Yeah, Eddie. Stop flirting with me,” you grouse, obviously playful, and without missing a single beat. You glare at the boy over your mostly bare shoulder and try hard not to smile. (He can’t see it in your eyes, anyway, though.) “I’m trying to talk to my new friend MADMAX. Gosh—”
You spin on the heel of your plastic red sandal, and your matching skirt twirls with you. Eddie can’t take his eyes off the back of you. He forgets how to blink when the fabric swishes to give him a brief glimpse of your ass.
He’s always hated the sun, but he loves the way it kisses your skin — leaving you glistening and mouthwateringly supple. 
His fangs threaten to make an appearance when a warm breeze carries your cotton candy cloud scent to him. His gums start to burn with the sharp ache.
“—Hi, MADMAX,” you singsong to the scowling girl, grinning with your cheek pressed to your shoulder.
“You can just call me Max,” she deadpans. “You know that, right?”
“But MADMAX is so much cooler. And it suits you way better.”
“Does it?” MADMAX wonders with an unenthusiastic hum.
“Yeah. Maxine is a name for an old woman. Or, like, one of those ridiculously expensive French poodles,” you ramble and turn back to the pool again, head bobbing as you scan the crowd. “But MADMAX? Now, that is a name for a badass with really cool hair and a sick pair of reading glasses.”
There’s a beat of silence, filled only by the sound of splashing water and the buzzing of a thousand distant conversations, as Max tries to bite back a laugh. It sputters past her anxiety-bitten lips before she can stop it — a strangely airy giggle from such an intimidating girl. 
She shakes her head, still, to pretend she’s above the childish giddiness.
Your face screws in feigned offense. “Don’t laugh!” you scold.
Which, of course, only makes her laugh harder.
Eddie lifts his head, finally taking his eyes off you to gape at the redhead across the aisle, who hasn’t laughed like this since the world ended. 
It must be something strange you alone bring out of them, he realizes. Something special in you that the end of the world didn’t steal like it did everyone else.
“These guys bothering you, newbie?” you hear your manager call to you, only partially drowned out by the surrounding laughter and shouting from the bustling crowd.
His voice is annoyingly distinct. It’s deep and articulate in a way that makes him seem smart. You don’t know if he really is, but you do know that he’s really a raging asshole. 
Adam stands before you, gold and glittering under the setting sun like God’s first creation himself. He’s got veins up and down the length of his muscular arms, and a bulging chest that he waxes every two weeks like clockwork. He’s Steve The Hair Harrington pretty without an ounce of the charm.
“Huh?” you call back, brows raised and eyes wide, just to make him repeat himself.
“I asked if these guys were bothering you,” Adam repeats, flicking his cleft chin back to get the blonde curls out of his eyes. “You look distracted.”
“What guys?” you wonder with an innocent furrow to your brows.
The man’s emerald eyes flit instinctively over your shoulder at Eddie, who everyone has been trying and failing not to stare at this whole time. 
You wonder if Eddie notices it, too — if he’s gotten immune to the constant leering or if he’s bone-crushingly aware of it all. Either way, no one deserves to be ogled at like that. Like some kinda zoo animal. 
Everyone always walks on eggshells around him, refusing to look him in the eye out of fear he might bite. But you know he doesn’t have the teeth for it.
Despite that, you look at Eddie over your shoulder like he’s a stranger. His eyes are wide and swimming with apprehension as the chocolates of them dart between you and the man made out of chiseled marble. 
Adam knows that you know him. You know he knows it, too. Which makes lying to him all the more fun.
“I’ve never seen this man before in my life,” you shrug.
Adam squints and crosses his too-big arms over his chest. “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s loitering. Along with the rest of these kids—” He looks around him with a visible disgust. 
Max pretends he isn’t there. Dustin and Lucas, meanwhile, forget to be casual as they cower under his stare with their ice-cream-stained faces.
“It’s a public pool, Adam. Everyone's loitering. Duh.”
You turn away and stick your whistle back in your mouth. You chew absentmindedly at the plastic and scan the pool for any reason to use it.
Adam’s neck twitches. An angry sort of tic he didn’t know he had until he met you. “You’re still on the clock, newbie. If I see you gettin’ distracted again, I’ll—”
You blow the whistle. Loud. And for far longer than you probably need to. 
The high-pitched chirping rings in Adam’s ears from the close proximity. He flinches away accordingly.
“No running, please!” you shout sweetly to the pudgy middle school-aged boy on the other side of the pool. (His babysitter always brings him here so she can sunbathe, and he’s always roughhousing in the deep end. Billy’s developed a personal vendetta with him over the summer.) 
The suddenly quiet pool returns to its deafening chaos a second later.
You flash Adam a cheeky smile. “You were saying?”
“I was saying that I’ll take it out of your paycheck,” the man bites, angled jaw clenched tight. “You’re already on thin ice. Understand?”
Your lip juts in a feigned pout. You nod slowly, eyes wide like a puppy he’s just kicked.
“One more strike, and you’re cleaning toilets, newbie.”
“Ah, I knew that’s what this was all about…” you lilt seductively, lips curling into a mischievous smirk. “You just want to see me bending over—”
You lean closer toward him until your spearmint breath fans across his chiseled jaw. Your bottom juts out in Eddie’s direction, until he can see the very bottom of your ass from beneath your pleated skirt. It makes him as flustered as Adam the Asshole, who stalks off on long legs quickly after, sufficiently embarrassed.
You laugh at the back of him until he disappears into the crowd again. The bubbly sound ceases the moment he’s out of earshot, and your smile ebbs into a girlish pout. “Dickwad,” you mumble under your breath.
You recover from it all rather quickly while Eddie struggles to remind himself to breathe. His mind reels as he, for the first time ever, grapples with the very real possibility that he might actually be in love with you. Or that you’re not real at all, and that this is just Vecna’s doing — long gone but still putting visions in his head somehow.
He doesn’t know which is worse.
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                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
         oh, what a strange magic!
         oh, it’s a strange magic!
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
The golden-orange sky turns a milky pink and lavender. Eddie’s friends, sunburnt and sufficiently pruned, don’t leave until the first star blinks faintly in the sky. The rest of the crowd goes with them, bustling bodies spilling out in a swarm.
It takes the rest of the gang several long moments to realize Eddie isn’t behind them. (You told him you forgot your sunglasses, and he offered to get them for you, ‘cause he’s nice like that and everything.)
(He doesn’t know the sunglasses are currently hiding in the pocket of your windbreaker.)
“What, where’s Eddie?” Dustin wonders aloud to the rest of the group, head flitting wildly in search of the misplaced metalhead.
“He went to the bathroom, I think,” you blurt the first lie you can think of. “He was talking about a nervous tummy or something. I don’t know.”
Steve scoffs like he senses a non-truth. “So, he’s leaving me with babysitting duty again?” he quips with a cynical, lopsided smile. “How predictable.”
“You say that like we’re the spawn of Satan or something,” Lucas jokes.
“You aren’t?” the oldest boy deadpans.
Dustin flips him off with a chubby finger and a flat face.
They bid their leave tangled in mindless arguments and lanky limbs. You watch them leave with the understanding that Steve’s 733i will be a tighter fit than it should be, crammed with a bunch of rowdy teenage boys. You feel sorry for Max and Robin most of all. 
Steve’s car peels out of the parking lot one moment, and Eddie returns the next.
“I couldn’t find your sunglasses anywhere,” he confesses sheepishly, face twisted like a puppy’s as he scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I think some asshole might’ve stolen ‘em—”
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” you shrug with a tightlipped smile. “I found them in the, uh— In the lost-and-found bin.”
“Oh. Okay. Cool,” Eddie stammers, nodding slowly, just before a smile tugs at his lips. You watch from beneath your lashes as the subtle realization curls on his face. “You had ‘em the entire time, didn’t you?” the boy wonders in a low voice that makes your stomach do whirl.
“Yes,” you squeak in a mousy voice, then ramble before you can stop it. “But only ‘cause I wanted everyone else to leave! You know, so we can have a real date and everything…”
“As opposed to the fake ones we’ve been having?” he jokes with pinched brows.
“Exactly,” you nod, strikingly sincere. ‘Cause the constant carpooling and melted rainbow sherbet dropoffs had to have meant something. 
“As tempting as that sounds, sweet thing,” he humors, scrunching the bridge of his nose. “I do think I might be actually coming down with sunstroke.”
You turn your head wordlessly to the entryway of the shack. There’s only a sliver of the night sky visible from here, but it’s navy blue and sparkling with so many little stars. You look back to Eddie with a dubious glint in your eye. “The sunset twenty minutes ago, Eds.”
“Yeah, but… I’m still sick.”
He removes his hand from the pocket of his leather jacket and balls it into a fist over his mouth. He coughs once, trying hard to make it believable ‘cause he hasn’t been truly sick since the winter of ’84.
That’s perhaps the only cool thing about being a vampire — he’s basically got Superman’s immune system now.
“Well, I actually learned how to treat sunstroke while I was in training,” you lilt with an air of mischief in your voice as you take a daring step closer. The scent of sunscreen and cheap musky cologne clings to his skin. Something about the combination of the two is maddening.
You’re filled suddenly with the primal urge to bite into him like an apple. But you refrain, lest you scare him off.
Eddie’s caught in a similar dilemma, but with perhaps realer consequences than that. Your natural marshmallow-passionfruit scent suffocates him like a pillow to the face. His fangs threaten to force their way through his gums as his head starts to swim.
He ignores every vampiric instinct swirling in his mind and focuses, instead, on the pretty smile curling at your lips.
“Bet ya didn’t know that, did ya?”
Eddie swallows hard and shakes his head. “No, I— I don’t think you ever told me that,” he stammers, then clears his throat when the words get stuck there. He puts both hands back in his jacket pocket, balling them into fists until his nails bite into his palms.
“First, you gotta take off your clothes—”
“You’ve been trying to get in my pants all day,” the boy laughs. “You realize that, right?”
“—And then you gotta cool off in a very luxurious community pool.”
Eddie gets what you’re playing at, then. His smile ebbs almost instantly. “No,” he dismisses with a stern shake of his head. His deep chestnut curls, frizzed with the late-summer humidity, sway around his jaw. “No. No way.”
“Oh, c’mon! Please,” you whine. “The pool closes in, like, half an hour— Then it’ll just be us! We can swim together!”
“I don’t know how,” Eddie whines back, head tossed and face screwed. “Seriously. I grew up in a trailer park. No one ever taught me how to swim, alright? I’ll drown.”
Something about that seems to please you, as your pout curls slowly into another smile. You meet the boy’s wet brown eyes with a gaze that glitters something wicked.
Eddie can see your head spinning with a thousand bad ideas from here. His heart would race at the thought of getting into trouble with you if it was beating still. 
You’ll bring him back to life yet.
“Don’t worry, Eds,” you shrug with a sure grin. “I’d give you mouth-to-mouth in a heartbeat.”
                            ꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦ (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ) ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷
The pool glows a vibrant sapphire color. It makes the surrounding amber streetlamps seem dull in comparison. The water is as blue and crystalline as an early summer sky. Eddie figures you must be the sun, swimming in the center of it all. 
You wait patiently in the shallow end — out of both your windbreaker and pleated skirt for the first time in front of him — and swipe your hands over the water, letting it drip like liquid diamonds from your fingers. You hum quietly to the slow song playing on the boombox across the way, which now houses the mixtape you made that Eddie seems to take with him everywhere. 
The boy shifts uncomfortably at the head of the pool, feeling awkward in the pair of swim trunks you found for him in the break room.
You’ve never seen so much of him before. His paper-white legs are a lot longer than you expected, ‘cause his baggy jeans hardly do him any favors. And his arms are a lot muscular, too — likely from moving band equipment and bussing tables.
He’s already so pretty to begin with. You don’t know what he’s got to be such a Nervous Nelly about.
Eddie knows he’s making it harder for himself. It’d be a lot less awkward for the both of you if he just took his shirt off and jumped in the water. But he’s paralyzed by the misplaced panic that strikes that lightning in his chest. And by you, ogling at him like he’s a pretty thing that deserves to be ogled at.
“Stop staring,” he calls to you, pretending to be playful but meaning every bit of it. “It’s makin’ me nervous.”
“Would it make you feel better if I closed my eyes?”
“Much.”
You put your hands over your eyes, to make him feel better and all. Though, you can’t help but peek between the slivers of your fingers as he strips himself of his Corroded Coffin tee.
His torso is as long and lean as you imagined, with sprinkles of hair on his chest and the pudge of his tummy that trails into his borrowed trunks. You try very hard not to stare too long at the gray scars embedded in his pale skin.
Everything seems to come easier to him when you’re not looking at him. He slides the black fabric off his pale, pale torso, tosses it to his feet, and hurries to hide in the water in one fell swoop.
The chlorine makes his nose burn, but the water feels like satin on his skin. It’s soft and warm and smooth against the cold, sharp edges of him.
“You can open your eyes now,” Eddie scoffs when he notices your hands still over your eyes. He can see you blinking at him through the slits in your fingers. “I know you’re peeking.”
“I was not!” you gasp, mouth agape with a playful offense.
“Well, you weren’t exactly being discreet about it, sweet thing.”
“These are very nefarious accusations you’re making, Eddie Munson…” you scold with arched brows and wide eyes. The water ripples faintly around you as you stalk towards him like a predator to prey, eyes narrowed in a challenging squint. “Are you prepared to back them up?”
The boy cowers slightly under your unwavering stare. “I don’t like the way you’re looking at me right now—”
And he was right not to. ‘Cause you’re lunging suddenly towards him in a flash.
The water splashes violently around you as you wrap both arms around his neck and sweep him off his feet. Literally. You kick his legs out from underneath him, then catch him before he can fall completely backward. Both his downfall and his savior, ironically.
“Ha!” you shout in his face, the tip of your nose brushing his.
“Jesus!” Eddie gasps in response, still heart lurching in his chest.
“I asked if you were prepared!” you defend like you’re innocent, like you aren’t still cradling him in your arms — the only thing keeping him from going under.
“Not for this!” he yells back. 
Only then is he able to take a good breath in. He can smell the velvety scent of your blood from the achingly close proximity. He can feel your heart beating in his own chest from where you’re pressed so intently against him. It makes him instantly dizzy.
He fights back the primal urges that would otherwise drive him mad.
“Jeez…” he huffs, fangs burning. “You’re a lifeguard— You’re supposed to stop people from drowning.”
“Yeah, but no one ever needs saving,” you whine. “It’s so boring.”
His chocolate button eyes flit back and forth between both of yours. “You tryin’ to save me, sweet thing?” he jokes.
You squint. “Is it working?”
“Yeah, actually… If you let me up now, at least.”
He’s grateful when you do, though he mourns the lack of you when you step back a few paces.
His damp hair sticks to his skin when he rises to full height. He shakes his head like a dog, and you giggle when a few rogue droplets fly your way.
“You have freckles on your shoulder,” you observe distantly, eyes darting across the faint amber spots on his pale skin as you try to make constellations out of them. “I didn’t know that ’til now.”
Eddie’s lips jut downward as he peers at his arm from the corner of his eye. “Not really,” he shrugs.
“You do!” you insist. “There’s not many, though. I could probably count ‘em if I wanted.”
“Maybe on our second date.”
“I didn’t know you had a tattoo here, either—” You poke him in the chest, a little harder than you probably mean to. 
Eddie winces and rubs his palm over the fading black widow under his collarbone. “Well, you don’t know everything about me,” he quips. “I like it that way. It keeps you on your toes.”
Your face pinches into a girlish pout. “Only ‘cause you never tell me anything.”
“I tell you loads of things,” Eddie laughs.
Your frown deepens. “You never told me about the picture of Ozzy Osbourne you keep in your wallet.”
“…How do you know about that?”
“Dustin told me.”
“Of course he did,” Eddie huffs. “Remind me not to tell that little shit anything ever again.”
“You never told me about how you got those scars, either,” you blurt, eyes trained on his milky white torso. Beneath the clear, rippling water, you can see the parts of his supple stomach that are marred and turning pink.
You don’t realize what you’ve said until your gaze flits back to his startled one. Your eyes widen as you ramble quickly, “You don’t have to! I’m not trying to… I’m just— I’m just saying. ‘Cause, you know, Steve has the same ones… On his ribs…”
“I’m not even gonna ask how you know that,” Eddie jokes with a (mostly) feigned jealousy.
“Billy does, too. He’s got the same lookin’ scars on his chest,” you continue. “And then I started thinking, you know? I thought, since you all know each other and everything, maybe something happened to you guys. Like, in the earthquakes or something.”
Eddie swallows hard and debates on spilling his guts. 
He swallows his secrets down like bile, in the end.
“Yeah. You’re— You’re not too far off, actually,” he answers with a breathy, bitter laugh. He scratches at the back of neck, if only to busy his anxious hands, and flits his gaze to the velvety night sky.
The blinking white stars there ground him when the world starts to swim — reminds him that he’s on Earth, in Hawkins, and not in the hellscape he died in.
That was his final thought as he took his last breath that spring. How strangely fitting it was that there were no stars in the Upside Down.
“We, uh… We kinda went through hell and back, but, uh… ‘Least lived to tell the tale, right?” Eddie scoffs at himself, then remembers Chrissy — how young and full of life she was one moment, and how her wide blue eyes were sucked out of her skull the next. He recoils then, feeling like he’s said the wrong thing. “Wait. That was— That was insensitive. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“What are you talkin’ about? You’re right,” you assure him with a quiet, emotionless laugh. “You guys survived. You got lucky. We all did.”
Eddie peeks at you beneath his lashes, through the wild curls sticking to his face. “Where were you?” he murmurs. “When… When everything happened?”
“Crying into my milkshake at Benny’s Burgers,” you answer without missing a beat. The memory’s far too vivid for anything else.
A laugh sputters from Eddie’s throat. He’s sure you must be joking. You blink at him like an owl, and he goes solemn all over again. “Oh. You’re… You’re serious?” he mumbles.
“Yeah, I was… feeling sorry for myself over something stupid, and then the ground started shaking outta nowhere— like the universe was trying to say, ‘Hey, this could be soooo much worse, dude,’” you ramble quietly to yourself, skimming your fingers over the water’s surface. “…But then I found out people actually got hurt and everything, so I was like, ‘Oh, maybe I shouldn’t make this about my stupid broken heart, actually.’”
Eddie’s tight chest deflates with a wavering exhale. He didn’t know you back then, but something about knowing you were okay makes him feel better. ‘Cause, yeah, he died and all, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of Vecna taunting you.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” the boy confesses in a honeyed whisper.
A soft smile quirks at the edges of your lips. “I’m glad you’re okay, too, Eddie Spaghetti.”
Your hand reaches out for him. Almost instinctively. Like he’s a whole universe with his own gravitational pull.
Your palm settles soft and warm on the outside of his torso. Your thumb grazes the marred skin over his ribs, and Eddie tenses at the foreign feeling. You jerk back instantly.
“Oh. Shit. Sorry,” you stammer, face twisted apologetically. “I didn’t— I should’ve asked first.”
“No. It’s— It’s okay. Seriously,” Eddie assures with a rapid nod. There’s a faraway look in his chocolate eyes, almost like he’s daydreaming. He feels like he is, anyway. ‘Cause he’s never let anyone this close before.
“I just… I wasn’t expecting it. That’s all.”
Do it again, he says in so many words. Please, I think I might need it.
You reach for him again, more hesitant this time. Your hand settles over his scars again, and you breathe hard through your nose.
Your stomach twists with a phantom sort of ache, like you can feel every ounce of the pain he surely experienced back then. Thinking about how hurt he must’ve been makes you hurt, too.
Eddie can see it written all over your face. How much you ache for him.
He can’t stand it. 
He cups your cheeks between trembling, unsure hands. His touch is softly calloused and colder than ice. He tilts your jaw gently upward, urging you to meet his gaze once more. Your eyes are wet and glittering when they lock with his heavily lidded ones. Your mouth parts to say something, anything. But your brain doesn’t work fast enough.
‘Cause Eddie's kissing you before you can blink.
He tastes distinctly of nicotine and boyhood. Of midnight, full moons, and neon lights. You can feel every groove in his bottom lip from where he picks at it with his teeth. Every sensation is new to you, like cool sparkles of excitement in the pit of your tummy, but it’s strikingly familiar all the same. Nostalgia for something you’re experiencing for the first time warms the center of your chest.
You breathe hard through your nose. The gust of air tickles Eddie’s cupid’s bow as he parts from you, lips smacking apart in protest.
Your eyes, still yet to blink, remain wide and glazed over. “Whoa…” you sigh to yourself.
Eddie’s unsure of how to gauge your reaction. His face swirls with horror.
“What?” he mumbles, still cradling your face between worried hands. He can’t tell if your cheeks are heating or if he’s just colder than usual. Perhaps both are equally true.
“Nothing,” you answer quickly, still slightly faraway. “I just… I got a weird sense of deja vu just now…”
The boy forces a quiet laugh. “Who else have you done this with?” he quips.
“No one!” you blurt. “…But I think I might’ve dreamt about this once.”
“Really?”
“Definitely.”
“Was it better than you expected? Or should I just see myself out now—”
You lean forward to chase his mouth. The cerulean water ripples faintly around you. Your lidded gaze never wavers from his rosy lips, which you’re realizing now are all but begging to be kissed. You don’t know how you never noticed it before.
Eddie’s smiling too wide to respond appropriately.
“Why are you laughing?” you frown.
“I’m not!” he responds through breathy chuckles.
“You are—”
Eddie leans forward in a flash, pressing another chaste kiss to your pout.
You’re all smiles again the second he pulls away, bursting at the seams with a sort of giddiness that could give the sun a run for its money. 
He knows, somewhere deep down, that he shouldn’t make you this happy. He doesn’t even deserve the chance. But here you are anyway, smiling so wide at him that your eyes are starting to crinkle at the edges — showing him that there’s still sunshine in the dark, reminding him what it means to be living.
“Does this mean we get to do this forever?” you wonder in a mousy voice.
“What?” he chuckles. “Kiss?”
You nod wordlessly, blinking up at the boy with wide, wet eyes.
Eddie nods quickly back. 
“Then yeah…” he wavers, chest aching and gums burning. 
He loves you so much he’s gone hungry for it. For you.
He longs to devour you, in every way imaginable, and you want to devour him just the same. He can tell in the way you stare at him when you think he isn’t looking — in the way you stare at him even when he is looking — and in every one of your movements that urges him closer, closer, closer.
Your gaze is debilitatingly intense. Your attitude is mind-bendingly strange. You’re ruining his life, and Eddie can’t believe there was ever a time he wasn’t kissing you.
“Yeah,” he repeats, firmer now. “As long as you want.”
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if you made it this far: i love you. so sorry for making you read something so long. i'd kiss you on the forehead if i could. also pls consider reblogging! this took me so so long to write, and it really helps a lot! thank u, love u (▰˘◡˘▰)
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james-hearteyes-kirk · 3 months ago
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James T. Kirk is such a man that is pouring over with love. And the way he loves is selfless to the point of self destruction. Selfless to the point of selfishness. He will take on any pain that he can to unburden those he loves, because he knows he can take it. To the point that those around him notice and are concerned (see: “why do you invite death?” From the conscience of the king). He will help people until he dies, not realizing those who love him couldn’t bear to see him go.
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zirconpetals · 1 month ago
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McCoy's almost imperceptible little nod when Spock turns to look at him again & Spock's ghost of a smile 🥺
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thegaybyler · 8 months ago
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Mike Wheeler finally having a mental breakdown and letting out the pent up emotion and trauma he's has for years is going to be my roman empire, like bro you have no idea how exciting this is for me
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lesservillain · 1 month ago
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viii. like real people do
summary: things are finally said that change the tides of yours and eddie's relationship cw: SMUT, p in v (unprotected), a tiny bit of angst a/n: hopefully this makes up for the stress i put yall through last chapter! enjoy :)
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“Well, what a surprise.” A voice as sweet as syrup says to you. It pulls you out of whatever blackness you were in. A shining light floats above you, beckoning for you to swim towards it. “I wasn’t expecting you for a very long time.”
“But I’m here now,” you say in your own mind, unable to speak.
“I see that,” the voice says, cooing you. “But you shouldn’t be. Not yet at least.”
“Why not?” You ask, continuing to swim.
“Because you still have so much to do! Can’t give up now.”
“But…I miss you so much,” you feel yourself tear up.
“I miss you, too,” the voice says softly. “But there are people counting on you to keep going. You don’t want to let them down, do you?” 
The encouraging words give you a new determination. You swim closer and closer, until you can almost feel the warmth on your face again. The surface is just ahead, if you could just keep going a little more…
The light suddenly becomes so bright, so encompassing that you can barely see. You break the surface, taking a deep breath in and begin coughing. It takes you a moment to get your barrings, but you soon realize you’re no longer in the water. The blinding lights start to shift, your vision slowly returning to you the more you try and focus your eyes. 
You look around you, your mind processing what it’s seeing. You’re in a room, all white and sterile looking. Were you in a hospital room? That seems to be the answer as your hearing starts to come back, filling with a low beeping sound from next to you first, then the sound of muffled voices. Your head suddenly shoots with pain, and you bring your hand to your forehead to try and relieve some of the pressure. But the pain is coming from the back of your head, and you notice that there is something on your forehead that normally isn’t there. Bandages? You try and move, but find yourself limited by something around your neck.
“Hello?” You croak out, but it’s barely above a wheeze. Your throat is hoarse, burning with soreness. Then the soreness spreads, reaching your fingertips and toes. It felt like you’d been hit by a bus and ran over again. “Hello!” You call out a louder this time, voice squeaking at the volume you were trying to achieve. The voices suddenly stop and are replaced with a metallic clanging as the curtain to your room is pulled open.
“Oh my god!” Tonya comes running into the room with Charles hot on her heels, throwing herself on to you in a tight embrace. She squeezes you tightly as if you were going to float away if she let go of you. “You’re awake,” she says, and you can hear the tears in her voice next to your ear.
“Yeah, I am,” you say, voice coming in and out with each word. “Am I at the hospital?”
Tonya leans back, sitting on the edge of your bed. “Yes, and they’re taking really good care of you. I told them you were in school to be a nurse to try and scare them a little.”
You let you a soft chuckle, looking up at her. “How did you know I was here?”
“I’m your emergency contact, duh,” she says with a smile.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” you say, thinking about how surprised she must have been to get a call that you were in the hospital when you were supposed to be taking care of Eddie.
“Wait, where’s Eddie?” You say, trying to sit up, but the pain in your body prevented you from moving much.
“Don’t worry about him,” Tonya says, her tone shifting to a serious one. You didn’t like that answer.
“Is he okay?”
“He’s perfectly fine.” Her hands come to your face, thumbs rubbing against your cheeks. “I want you to focus on you right now. You really got banged up in the fall. I was so worried when they told me what happened.”
“What happened?” You ask, unsure of what she’s talking about.
“You don’t remember?” She says, her brows coming together with concern.
“I just remember Eddie said he was going outside to smoke, and then nothing. It’s all black.”
“Honey…” Tonya says, her tone laced with concern. “You…fell. Off of a cliff and into the water. They had to send a rescue team to find you.”
Her words didn’t make sense to you. How would you have fallen when you were inside with Eddie?
“How did I fall off a cliff? I don’t understand.”
“Sweetie, you hit your head really hard. Maybe you should focus on getting some rest.”
“N-no, tell me what happened,” you stutter out, feeling a wave of anxiety start to hit you. You will yourself to remember what happened, but come up blank. “I want to see Eddie. Where is he?” Tonya says your name to try and calm you but her reluctance only makes you feel more uneasy. Even with all the pain in your body, you push yourself up from the bed and try to throw the covers off of you. Tonya pleads for you to stop as the sound of an alarm starts to go off in your room.
“What’s going on?” A nurse says as she enters the room.
“She wont settle down,” Tonya says pushing against you to get you back in the bed.
“Just let me call him!” You shout, trying to look around the room with your limited mobility.
“I’m right here.”
You pause, eyes darting to behind the nurse. You see Eddie there in his chair, a pained expression on his face. You immediately feel relieved, leaning back in the bed with a sigh.
“Eddie--”
“I told you to leave!” Tonya yells at him, catching you off guard.
“I know,” Eddie says solemnly, hanging his head.
“Why would you tell him to leave?!” You ask, anger bubbling up inside of you at her knowing he had been here.
“Because he’s the reason why you’re even in here! He doesn’t deserve to see you!” Tonya shouts, gesturing wildly at Eddie.
“Everyone, I’m going to have to ask you all to please calm down or else you’re all going to have to leave,” the nurse says trying to diffuse the situation.
“I want everybody out. Except for Eddie.” He raises his head to look at you, sadness in his features.
“You can’t be serious,” Tonya says with frustration.
“I need to hear about what happened from him. Please.”
Tonya whines, but eventually relents. She starts to leave, stopping next to Eddie and pointing a finger at him. “You have 10 minutes. And you better tell her the truth.” Eddie nods his head and Tonya straightens up, leaving the room with Charles following behind her.
“You have a call button beside you if you need me,” the nurse says before leaving the room too, only you and Eddie remaining. It’s back to being quiet again, and you take the time to just look at him. He seemed so broken as he hung his head in shame.
“Eddie,” you say, and he flinches. “Please, just tell me what happened.”
His frown contorts even more, his brown eyes going glossy as he stares down at the floor. He shakes his head before bringing a hand to his forehead. “I-I can’t.” He stutters out, breath hitching as he barely contains a sob.
“Yes you can,” you plead, wishing you could just get out of this bed and shake him. “I need to know what happened.”
“I just…My head was all messed up…and I didn’t know what to do, so I thought it would just be better if--if I just wasn’t around and--”
“Eddie what are you saying?”
“Tonya was right.” His voice is wobbly as he speaks. “You’re here because--because I tried to do something stupid and you stopped me.”
You didn’t understand. You tried to will your memory back, to piece together what he was saying to make sense of it. “Eddie, what did you do?” You beg him for an answer. He sways in his chair, getting more upset.
“I-I-I…I tried to…to jump off the cliff.”
“W-what?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“I just, I couldn’t do it anymore.” His tears fall freely now, he doesn’t even bother to try and wipe them as they roll down his cheeks. “I thought it would just be better if I wasn’t around. You and Wayne wouldn’t have to take care of me anymore. And the voices, the nightmares would end.” He brings his hands to the side of his head and leans forward, rocking in his chair.
“Eddie…that is…that is so not fair.” Your breath hitches as you start to cry yourself. “You are not a burden Eddie. I love you so much, I can’t…I can’t even imagine my life without you in it now. Why would you do that to me? To Wayne?”
“Because I let him get in my head!” He shouts, startling you. “I let that bastard get in my head and make me feel like this! I’ve seen things in my nightmares that scared me and I just couldn’t let it happen! I couldn’t let him get to you!”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have been helping you this whole time, but you’ve just been pushing me away again!”
“I can’t tell you the things I’ve seen…” he says shaking his head. His leg bounces nervously. “I don’t want you to know about the images he’s been putting in my head. But every time I look at you I see what he shows me. It makes me sick to my stomach.”
You’re speechless. Eddie’s been dealing with these nightmares this whole time and you had no idea. Your heart breaks knowing that he’s been dealing with this pain with no one by his side for weeks. It’s not fair.
“Come here,” you say, and he finally looks up at you, eyes wide as saucers. He hesitates, but eventually he rolls himself to the side of your bed.
“Are you going to hit me?”
You shake your head with a small laugh. “Do you think I should?” You ask him, and you see a smile tug at his lips. 
“I think I deserve it.”
“Eddie, you don’t deserve any more hurt. You’ve been through enough as is it. But…I do think there is something that you need.”
“What’s that?” He asks, tilting his head.
“Therapy.” His face drops, eyes leaving you and going back to the floor. “Hear me out,” you say, trying to reign him back in. You lean down the best you can and grab his hand, taking it in yours and holding it tight. “I think you need to be able to talk to someone, professionally, about what you’ve been through. I know you want to be strong, but if anything what you’ve told me is that you’re finally at your limit.”
“I’ve been offered a therapist before…by the government. Can’t exactly talk about what happened to a random one,” Eddie says with a shrug.
“Then go see a government therapist,” you say, giving his hand a light squeeze. “They’re still a therapist. You need it.”
“Will you go with me?” He asks after a beat.
“Of course I will,” you say, elated that he’s considering it. You bring his hand up to your lips and kiss his knuckles, pressing against the scar that lives there.
“I’m so sorry,” Eddie says barely above a whisper. 
“I forgive you,” you say back. Eddie raises his head to look at you. “But…”
“But?” Eddie says, his brows pinching together nervously.
“But, I still need to hear the rest of the story.” Eddie looks at you with confusion and you gesture to yourself in the bed. “I obviously didn’t get here because you almost went over a cliff. So what happened?”
Eddie swallows, his eyes darting around the room anxiously. “Well,” he starts, “When I was about to go over, you sort of pulled me back. But…but you kept going. I watched you go over the edge and hit the water…” Well that explains a lot. “I freaked out. I thought about going in after you but this damn leg.” Eddie runs his hand over his thigh, letting it rest where it ends. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to get you, so I rolled my ass back to the house and called Hopper. He called the station and they got a bunch of people out to look for you. They found you washed up on some rocks by someone’s dock and pulled you out. They said it was a miracle that you were still breathing.”
You thought back to the voice you had heard before you came to, telling you that it wasn’t your time yet. It sounded so familiar, yet your mind couldn’t place whose it was. But you know it’s the reason you’re still alive after what you went through.
“I’m tougher than I look. Venca is going to have a hard time trying to get me,” you say, making Eddie smile. He rubs his thumb against the back of your hand soothingly, making you feel more relaxed at the motion.
“Did you really mean what you said?” He suddenly asks. Now it was your turn to be confused.
“Did I mean what?” You ask.
“That you love me.”
You feel coming to your cheeks at his question. Did you actually say that? It must have been in the heat of the moment, not like you to say that without caution.
“Maybe I do,” you say bashfully. “I’ve taken care of you for a while now, it’s hard not to love you.”
“Oh…” You see the way Eddie curls in on himself, almost embarrassed.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, tugging at his hand.
“I thought you meant you loved me like…” he trails off, but you get what he’s saying.
“Like, more than I should?”
“How much are you supposed to love me?”
“Probably less than I currently do. More on a professional level. Unfortunately, that’s flown out the window because I think I’m closer to head over heels now.”
Eddie straightens up in his chair and you’re almost blinded by how bright he’s beaming. Every bit of doubt you were feeling melted away with the heat of the sun shining through him. 
“Would it be weird to say I love you too?” He asks unsurely.
“Eddie, I just admitted my feelings for you. I’ll be pissed if you don’t say it back,” you joke, making Eddie laugh. 
He lets go of your hand before grabbing onto the side rail of the bed and pressing his other hand into the mattress. In one quick motion, he lifts himself from his chair and pivots until he’s sitting on the side of your bed. You try and move over to make more room for him, but he puts his hands on your shoulders to still you. You turn to look at him, his eyes on you intently as he starts to lean in. You let yours flutter close and wait, a giddy feeling swelling in your chest at the anticipation.
His lips meet yours and there’s an immediate relief that washes over your whole body. You sigh into him, pressing your lips against his in return. It’s nothing more than just a kiss, but you still feel it’s effects pulsing through your body.
“Oh, come on!” 
Eddie practically jumps ten feet in the air when Tonya’s voice erupts in the room. It makes you laugh to see him get so flustered so quickly, moving around unsure of himself like a bad kid being caught.
“What’re they doin?” You hear another voice and immediately recognize it. Wayne steps in the room beside Tonya and you suddenly feel sick. You’d forgotten about Wayne and what he would think about you and Eddie.
“N-nothing!” You stutter out, trying to come up with anything else to say but coming up short.
“They were kissing!” Tonya says, gesturing at the two of you.
This was it, Wayne was going to kill you.
“It was just a hug!” Eddie says, trying to cover for the two of you.
“Bullshit!” Tonya says, and you realize you’re totally fucked.
“Well, ‘bout damn time,” Wayne says with a laugh.
What?
You couldn’t believe your ears. Was Wayne…happy?
“Don’t encourage them! This is not okay!”
“Babe,” Charles says, putting a hand on Tonya’s shoulder. Tonya turns and looks at him, the two of them looking into each other’s eyes. After a minute, Tonya sighs.
“You’re right. If you two can look past everything, I guess I can, too.”
Eddie turns to look at you, confusion written all over his face. “What just happened?”
“Something good, I guess,” you say with a short shrug, wincing at the pain it gives you. Eddie looks at you with concern, his hand coming to rest on your cheek. You give him a small smile, leaning into his touch.
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You spent a few days in the hospital, mostly to keep an eye on your concussion. Your injuries consisted of a nasty skull fracture that you likely got from hitting your head on a rock when you landed in the water and a lot of bruising to your body. The doctors said it was amazing you hadn’t broken anything else in the fall, something you were thankful for. As long as you took it easy, you’d start feeling better in no time. 
But taking things easy was harder than you thought it would be.
“You probably shouldn’t even be driving in your condition,” Eddie says, arms crossed as you set your bag down on the couch.
“Eddie, I’m fine,” you argue, hands on your hips. “It’s not like you can’t do a lot on your own now. I’m only here if you need assistance.”
“You sure ya don’t want me to call Rick to come stay with ‘em?” Wayne asks.
“I’m already here, might as well stay,” you say, hoping that will be the end of it.
“Fine, but you’re not lifting a finger while you’re here,” Eddie says with a huff. It makes you smile and frustrated at the same time that he’s so concerned about you.
“What, are you going to take care of me while I’m here?” You tease, but Eddie only nods in response. 
“Yep. It’s my fault you were even hurt to begin with, so it’s only fair I get to take care of you for once.” You bring your hand to your chin and ponder at the thought of Eddie taking care of all the laundry and cooking you dinner. The thought made you laugh, but Eddie wasn’t having it. “What’s so funny?”
“Just thinking about you taking care of me. I can’t wait to see it.” Eddie’s arms relax as he smiles now too, clearly happy to see that you’ve given in to his demands. “So what’s first on the agenda tonight, boss?” You ask him.
“First, you’re going to sit on the couch and prop your feet up,” he says rolling over to you, nudging you towards the couch. “And you’re going to focus on your school work while I…I…”
“Should I order a pizza?” Wayne asks, walking into the kitchen to pick up the phone.
“Pizza sounds awesome,” you say, looking at Eddie. He’s smiles at you sheepishly before mouthing a sorry to you. You pat the cushion next to you on the couch, inviting him to join you. He rolls over, locking his wheels and lifting himself up to move to the couch. You go to grab his waist to help him, but he gives you a “nuh uh” before maneuvering himself over on his own. You look at him impressed, and he gives you a proud look back.
“You’ve been practicing,” you say, nudging him with your elbow.
“Yep,” he says, raising his arms and flexing. “Gotta be strong for ya.”
Eddie’s words make you melt. It was so good to have him back after the way he shut himself out for so long.
“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Wayne says, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. “You two behave yourselves.” He adds before closing the front door behind him. It made heat rise to your cheeks at the implication. 
You and Eddie hadn’t really discussed things between you since you kissed at the hospital, and you wondered if he still had some lingering guilt about what happened that was keeping him from speaking up.
However, you weren’t going to wait around for him anymore. You were planning on getting answers out of him whether he likes it or not.
“So, Eddie,” you say, turning your whole body to face him. Eddie looks at you with a side eye, not liking the suspicious way you’re looking at him right now.
“Y-yes?”
“Why are you so nervous?” You laugh.
“I’m not nervous,” he says, clearly nervous.
“You think I’m going to bite you or something?” You wiggle your fingers at him teasingly.
“Maybe…maybe I like biting,” he says, coming out more coy than he intended it to. 
“Oh, do you?” You lean into him, stopping just short of an inch from his face. Eddie flinches slightly, eyes screwing shut. You decide to mess with him a bit, not moving from your spot until he opens an eye to peek. That’s when you strike, pecking him on the lips and catching him by surprise. He hums in shock, letting out a giggle when you pull away from him. “I don’t know how I’m every going to get used to that,” he says with a toothy grin.
“Well you better get used to it, because you’re not getting rid of me any time soon.”
Eddie leans in and captures your lips again in a giggly kiss. “I can’t believe I almost gave this up.” He doesn’t sound sad when he says them, but the words are still tainted with a hurt that lingers. It was something you’d been thinking about a lot. That Eddie could not be here with you right now if you hadn’t gotten to him in time. If you hadn’t pulled him back from the edge…
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he says, interrupting your train of thought. 
“No, it’s okay.” You shake your head and give him a small smile. Raising your hand to his cheek, you caress his scared face tenderly, taking him in. He was still here, and that’s what mattered. “I wish you knew how much you mean to me.”
Eddie leans into your hand and closes his eyes. “One day I will. It’s just…hard to accept right now.”
“But why?” You ask, wishing you could wipe the frown from his face. He pulls away from your touch and leans back into the couch, gesturing widely to himself.
“I’m not the most desirable guy in the world. I got one leg,” he rubs his hand over the nub of his thigh, “I’m covered in scars, I’ve been seen as a freak pretty much my whole life. And you,” he raises a hand to you, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life. I don’t know what I did to deserve even the slightest bit of your attention, let alone your love. It just…doesn’t make sense.”
You place your hand on top of the one on his leg and rub your thumb against his knuckles. It pained you to hear Eddie talk about himself so lowly. You wish there was something you could do to make him realize how worthy of love he was.
Well, there was something you could do. It might not prove much to him, but it could be a start.
Slowly sliding yourself to your knees, you moved yourself until you were on the floor between Eddie’s leg and thigh. He looked down at you with wide eyes. “What are you doing?” He asks, shifting until his back is flush with the couch, almost cowering from you. You place a hand on either thigh and slowly glide them up and down, letting your fingers get dangerously close to Eddie’s crotch with each passing motion.
“I just want you to know how much I care about you,” you say, leaning forward and letting your head rest on his lap. “Is that okay?” You give him an opening to back out, not wanting to push him into anything he doesn’t want to do. This is all still new to you both, and even if you’ve been with each other before, Eddie may want to take things slow. 
Eddie audibly gulps, his eyes locked on yours as you wait for his answer. But he doesn’t give you one. It’s like he’s frozen in place, making you worry. You lift yourself off of him, sitting yourself back on your legs and put your hands up in defense.
“Eddie, I’m sorry I just--”
“No! No, wait--” Eddie leans forward and grabs your hands in his. He shakes his head before giving you a smile that made all the worry melt away. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that. My brain sort of short circuited for a second.”
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Eddie. I just thought…”
Eddie drops your hands and brings his own to your cheeks. He leans in, bringing his lips to yours in a deep kiss. It’s slow, but makes you burn for him, so you try to up the ante a bit by bringing your tongue to his lower lip. That gets him to open up for you and soon your tongues are dancing between you. Eddie’s still not the greatest kisser, still too eager and using too much tongue. But, with time, you’ll teach him how to properly kiss you.
You push against him with your mouth so that he would start to ease back against the couch, letting your hands find his legs again. This time, you let your hands meet at his crotch, one of them resting right over where you can feel him getting hard in his sweats. Eddie lets out a groan against your lips at the feeling of you touching him that pokes at the fire inside of you. You let your hand wrap around his still clothed length and give a slight squeeze, making Eddie jump against you.
“Oh, fuck,” Eddie says, leaning back to look at you with lidded eyes. You bring a hand up to his chest and push him back, his body going lax as he hits the back of the couch. Your hand rubs him through his pants a bit, giving him a bit of a tease before the main attraction. 
Finally, you let your hand wander up to his waistband, fingers dipping into it as you start to pull it down. You discover very quickly that he’s not wearing any boxers beneath them as his cock springs to life from the confines of the cotton pants. It’s hard and red and twitching under your gaze, and you can’t help but water at the mouth for it.
Taking a hand to it, you slowly start to work it, moving up and down against the velvety skin of his shaft. You make sure to pay extra attention to the tip, putting pressure on it when your hand rolls over it. Eddie’s hands grip the cushions of the couch as you work him in your soft hands, letting out little sounds here and there the more you move.
“Mmmph, that feels so good,” He whimpers out, voice strained.
“This isn’t even the best part,” you tease, looking up at him through your lashes.
“I can’t imagine it getting better,” Eddie says, eyes closing as his breath starts to pick up.. And, boy, are you ready to blow his mind. 
You take your hand off of him, making Eddie’s eyes open slightly to look down at you. He watches in awe as you spread his thighs apart and scooch in between them, his heart almost skipping a beat as you lean in until your barely an inch from his cock. Opening your mouth, you keep your eyes on him as you take the tip inside. Eddie lets out a hiss at the feeling of your tongue swirling around his cock, hand shooting to the top of your head and gripping at your crown. 
He doesn’t force you, more so just holding you to keep himself grounded as you begin to move your mouth on him. You go slow for the first few bobs, letting yourself get adjusted to his size so you don’t gag yourself too hard. But once you’ve gotten yourself opened up you start to go to town. His tip hits the back of your throat each time you go down, but you take it like a champ, not backing down with how Eddie starts to make so much noise.
He’s so happy Wayne isn’t home right now. He doesn’t think he’d be able to keep his voice down if he tried. You were trying to suck his soul through his dick and it was working with how light he was starting to feel. His mind flashed back to the night the two of you spent together and how you looked riding on top of him. Even in his depressive state, he still couldn’t help but think back to that night over and over. It was the best night of his life, and he wanted so badly to relive it again, much like you were doing for him now. 
But, even with how well you were moving on his cock, Eddie was being selfish and wanted more. He wanted to feel you again like he had that night, and with the rate that you were going, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. So he did some quick work, getting a better grip on your head and pushing it back. And boy was that a mistake, because you popped off him with the most fucked out expression on your face Eddie’s ever seen.
“Why’d you stop--” But Eddie doesn’t let you finish, slamming his lips against yours again, shoving his tongue into your mouth. He tastes himself on you and moans into you, eliciting a groan from you in return.
Eddie pulls away quickly, leaving you to chase after him. But he has other things planned as he grabs your arms and pulls you up into his lap.
“Mmm, what’re you doing?” You ask as you straddle his thighs, resting your hands on his shoulders.
“Want you,” he says, looking up at you. “Need you.”
“Oh, is that so?”
 You let your hands fall from his shoulders, slipping them down his chest. Backing up until you stand in front of him, you give him a little smirk as you go for the button of your jeans and undo it. He watches in anticipation as you bend over, pushing your pants down to your ankles and kicking them off of you, leaving you in your panties. You grab the hem of your sweater and pull it off as well, letting it drop to the floor next to you. Eddie’s eyes are as wide as saucers as he takes you in. You weren’t really expecting this, so you didn’t dress in a nice set or anything, but Eddie seemed to be the last one to care.
You decide to tease him more, turning around so your back was facing him as you undid your bra. You let it fall unceremoniously onto the ground before giving a little look over your shoulder. Eddie’s eyes were lazier focused on you, barely blinking so not to miss a single moment of the show you were putting on for him. 
That’s when you decided to up the ante. You let your thumbs slip into the sides of your panties and begin to slide them down off of you. Bending over, you make sure they get all the way to the ground before stopping for a moment. You wiggle your ass a bit for good measure and you know it’s affecting him by the sounds you hear coming from him. 
You snap to straighten up and step out of your panties, leaving them on the floor where you dropped them before turning to face Eddie. You find that he’s lazily stroking himself, eyes still glued to your body as you stand before him. “Holy shit,” Eddie says, mouth slacked open like he’s in a trance, hypnotized by you. 
You step forward and climb back into Eddie’s lap, letting your tits sit at eye level for him. He leans his head back in awe to get a good look at them, eyes darting back and forth like he can’t decide where to let his gaze land. You giggle at his goofiness and let your arms wrap around his shoulders, the proximity of your chest to his face increasing. Eddie feels like he doesn’t know what to do with you so close to him, so he just lets his face fall in between your plush breasts. You can’t keep back the laugh that erupts from you at his antics.
”Enjoying yourself?” You ask, bringing a hand to the back of his head. Eddie nods against your chest, which only makes you laugh more. “Well, while you distract yourself with that…” you say as you lower your bottom half against him until you can feel his length between you. You let your weight push down until your slit is pressing against his cock and begin to rock your hips forward and back on it. Eddie starts to groan into your chest, his hips bucking slightly into you. The pressure of his cock against your clit makes your breath hitch, only making you feel needier for him as you continue to move. 
Suddenly, Eddie is pulling away from your chest, his hands finding purchase on your hips to stop you from moving. You look down at him curiously, unsure as to why he made you stop.
”Can I try something?” He seems bashful with how he’s refusing to look up at you. But his question has your interest piqued. Eddie is still new to all of this, so you can only imagine what he may be wanting to do.
”Please,” you say, giving him the go ahead.
Eddie’s right hand loosens its grip from your hip and slowly starts to move between you. You watch as he slips his hand under you, touching your core with his fingertips. His hand explores you, feeling around at your underparts until a finger catches your entrance.
”Is that it?” He asks, looking up to you with wide eyes. You giggle at his innocence and nod. He swallows thickly before looking back down where his hand was. You feel his hand moving, and then his finger slips inside of you, the coolness of his rings stinging your skin. You let a little moan slip from your lips at the intrusion, and Eddie’s eyes are on you again. He watches you intently as he begins to move his finger in and out of you, keeping an eye on your face to gauge your reaction to his movements.
 It honestly wasn’t doing much for you, but you found it too cute that he wanted to do this with you that you just let him do his own thing at first. But the way his brows pinched together had you thinking that he was catching on so you decided to intervene.
“Eddie.” You say his name gently and he stops his movements all together to focus on you. “Go like this.” You raise your hand up and put your fingers up so that your middle and pointer were together, curling them together to show him what to do.
”O-okay,” he says with a nod. He looks down again, and you can feel another finger making its way into you. It already feels better just from the fullness of two fingers inside you, and you hum when he starts to move them inside you. 
Pushing your hips down, Eddie’s fingers dip into you further and you start to feel him moving against that spot deep inside you. “Shit, yeah, right there,” you say, letting your head fall back as you feel the little shock waves through your body. You let your hands roam up your sides until they reached your breasts, taking them in your hands and fondling yourself in tandem with Eddie’s movements. It all felt so good, but there was still one thing missing that you needed to resolve.
”You’re good with your hands right?” You say, looking down at Eddie with a smirk.
”Uh, yeah, I play guitar,” he says, unsure of what you’re getting at. You reach a hand down between your legs and grab his thumb, positioning the rough pad of it on your aching clit.
”Move it back and forth.”
Eddie follows your command, pausing his fingers to try and get a good rhythm with his thumb. It sent a heat all through you, but you couldn’t help but feel bad watching the way his face contorts as he moves his hands around, unsure if it was hurting him to move his hands like this.
”Eddie, as good as this feels, you don’t have to do this,” you say, tilting his head up with your finger.
”I know, but I want to. Wanna make you cum first,” he says, eyes moving all over your face like he can’t decide where to look.
”You’re so sweet, but this is supposed to be about you, remember? I’m doing this to make you feel good.”
”Can I try a little more. I’ll get the hang of it, I promise.” How could you say no to someone so eager to give you pleasure. Especially when they look so cute doing it. You give him a nod and he smiles at you, his tongue poking out from between his lips as he gets back into the groove.
He wastes no time getting down to business, moving his fingers in tandem with his thumb in a way that takes you by surprise with how good it feels. Your mouth drops open, and you have to grab his shoulders to keep you steady as he fucks his fingers into you. “Oh my god,” you say as he starts to move faster, getting a good pace going. You say his name breathily and he lets out a low chuckle.
”That feel good, baby?” He looks up at you and the cocky expression on his face had you shook. “Like it when I work you up like this?” 
Where was all this confidence coming from you had no idea, but you were loving it. “Y-yes,” you stutter out, followed by a low moan. 
“You gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over my fingers?” 
“Yes, yes yes!” Eddie’s words get the better of you as you feel that coil in you tightening, threatening to snap at any moment. Eddie’s free hand comes to your face, taking it gently as he guides you to face him. He looks you straight in the eyes and it’s like you’re seeing a whole new side of him that you didn’t know he had in him. 
“Look so pretty like this,” he cooes, and for some reason that does you in. Your vision of him goes blurry as your eyes roll back from how hard you cum. He keeps moving his fingers in you as you go through the motions, and you eventually had to grab his hand and physically pull it away from you from how over sensitive you were getting. 
You sat down in his lap and caught your breath, just looking at the way he was beaming with joy so bright it was almost blinding. Looking over at his hand, you noticed the way his fingers were twitching and grabbed it, not caring about your wetness being all over it. You spread his hand open and began to massage it gently, hoping to take some of the pain away.
”Thanks,” he says, looking at your hand moving his. Then he lets out a little giggle that had you looking at him crazy.
”What’s so funny?” You ask with a raised eyebrow.
”I made you cum,” he says with a cheesy smile.
”That you did,” you say with a chuckle. You let your hands drop between you, and you almost forgot about his hard cock until you felt it hit your hand. 
“Guess it’s your turn now,” you say, looking up at him through your lashes. His smile drops at the tone of your voice, eyes going wide as he watches you lift yourself up in his lap and hover over him. You grab him with your hand and line him up with your entrance, keeping an eye on his reactions as you slowly start to lower yourself down onto him. Eddie takes his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes screwing shut until you’ve gotten yourself fully seated in his lap. It feels so good to have him so deep, but you’re not letting yourself lose control so easy now that you’re back in it.
With a roll of your hips, Eddie lets out a gasp that was music to your ears. It was enough to keep you going, setting a steady rhythm as you moved your body against his. But as good as it felt for you to grind yourself against him, you decided that you needed to give him more. 
You positioned yourself so that you were steady on your knees and began to bounce on him. Eddie let out a few curse words as you started to move, making you laugh to yourself at his reaction. You moved yourself up and down on him, feeling the way he moved in and out of you so deliciously. That combined with his fat tip hitting that sweet spot over and over again had you already winding up for another orgasm. 
You leaned forward, pushing yourself into Eddie to let your bodies get close as you continued your movements on him. Your lips met his in a feverish kiss and you can tell by the way he’s having a hard time keeping up with you that he was definitely affected by everything you’re doing to him. But you don’t stop, wanting to get him as worked up as possible under you. 
He lets out little whimpers against your lips before pulling his head back from yours. “Fuck, feels so good,” he says, breathing labored as you continue to fuck him. “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” he chants, and you wouldn’t dream of it. 
You pull away from him, leaning back with your hands on his thighs as you keep moving on him. Eddie’s eyes are locked between you, watching the way he disappears in and out of your tight cunt. You can feel yourself teetering on the edge again, so close to cumming once again that you have to bring your hand to your clit to give yourself that last little push. But Eddie doesn’t let you do it for long, pushing your hand out of the way so he can replace your fingers with his. He mimics your motions and it has your moaning out into the open air of the living room.
“Fuck, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie!” You can’t hold back your voice as you feel yourself going over the edge, immediately stilling your hips as you reach your peak. You gasp out, throwing yourself forward and wrapping yourself around Eddie’s neck, burying your face in his shoulder as your whole body shakes in pleasure.
”Shit, fuck—“ Eddie grunts out, his hands gripping your hips as he suddenly goes rigid under you. Through your haze you can feel him cum inside of you, cock twitching as he does. You should probably be concerned with what’s happening, but you’re too boneless to care, letting Eddie fill you up until he had nothing left to give.
The two of you were still for a moment, just soaking in each other’s presence in your embrace. Eddie’s breathing was still a bit labored, his chest pressing into yours with each breath he took. You took a little bit of his hair in your finger and twisted it around it, examining the dead ends and thinking about how long it was getting.
”I need to cut your hair soon,” you say, breaking the silence between you. Eddie hums, turning his head to look down at his hair.
”You think so? I was trying to let it grow out some more.”
You nod against his shoulder, letting the hair drop from your hand. “Just the ends. It’ll grow longer faster if you keep the ends healthy.”
”You shoulda been a hair dresser,” Eddie says, smiling at you.
”I only know this stuff because of Tonya. I don’t think I could do what she does,” you say, shaking your head.
”But you can do nursing? Doesn’t that seem like a harder job?”
You push yourself off of Eddie so you can look down at him. You take a moment to admire him and the way he looks up at you with a light in his eyes that makes your tummy do flips. You realize in this moment that you’re…happy. Like, truly happy. It felt like all the pieces were starting to fall into place, and that this was what was supposed to happen for you all along. All the hardships you’ve had in your life lead you to this very moment, and you couldn’t be happier.
”What?” Eddie asks with a soft giggle, grinning at you.
”Nothing,” you say, taking your hands and cupping his face. You lean in and leave a kiss on his lips, eliciting a giggle from him. 
Suddenly, you hear the sound of Wayne’s truck pulling up in the driveway, his tires crunching loud against the gravel. You look down at Eddie, and his wide eyed expression matches yours. Jumping up, you pull yourself from Eddie with a hiss and get back on your feet. Your legs still feel wobbly from all the exertion, but you do your best to steady yourself, grabbing all your clothes from off of the floor and booking it straight to the bathroom. You feel bad for leaving Eddie behind, but trusted he could situate himself without your help.
You hear the front door open just as you close the bathroom door shut. You try and listen through the door, pressing your ear to the wood to try and hear better. Wayne says something to Eddie but his voice is too muffled to make out he’s saying. It doesn’t sound like a yell so you figured you were in the clear, letting out a sigh of relief.
That left you to tend to your current situation. You could feel the mess between your legs starting to drip down your thighs and silently wished that you could take a shower. But you worried about it being too suspicious to take one now, so you’d just have to do your best to clean yourself up. At least you’d have an excuse to take a shower with Eddie later.
Once you were straightened up and fully clothed, you rejoined the Munson men in the kitchen.
”There she is,” Wayne says, lifting the lid to the pizza box open for you to take a slice. You grabbed one and shoved some in your mouth, humming in satisfaction.
”That was fast,” you say, looking at Wayne. 
“They weren’t busy. Plus, they fixed up some’ve the roads in town so it was easier to get to get in and outta there.”
“That’s good,” you nod, “You can sit and enjoy it before work.”
”Yep,” Wayne says, finishing the last of his slice before grabbing another one. “So, what’d y’all do while I was gone?” Eddie chokes on his drink as he sips it, starting a coughing fit that had you patting his back to try and help him. Wayne looks at him with a quirked brow. “You good, boy?” 
“Y-yeah,” he coughs a little more, beating his fist against his chest. “Sorry, went down the wrong pipe.”
”We just, um, we talked while you were gone. Nothing crazy,” you say, hoping that you saved the situation with your lie.
”Well that’s good,” Wayne says, taking a bite of his pizza. You were relieved that he believed you, hoping that would be the end of the conversation. 
The three of you continued to eat your pizza until you were stuffed, putting the left overs in Wayne’s lunch for the night while he was getting ready for work. Eddie got himself situated on the couch, flipping through the channels to find something to watch as you got out some of your schoolwork to work on. He settled on watching Terminator and you cracked open your textbook and got to working on homework. 
“Y’all have a good night,” Wayne says as he grabs his keys, heading out the door for the night. You both give him a goodbye as he goes, the room going quiet once he’s left. It’s not an awkward quiet, though, rather a peaceful one. You didn’t need to be talking to Eddie to enjoy his company, just simply having him there with you was enough.
It stayed like that for a few hours, just the two of you keeping quiet while the other was preoccupied with what they were doing. Eddie got up at one point, returning to the living room with his notebook and a pencil, joining you on the floor as he used the coffee table to write on. You peaked over at the notebook and noticed he was writing something out on one of the pages.
”What are you working on?” You ask curiously.
”Some lyrics to a song,” he says, tapping the pencil on the page.
”Are you guys going to start writing music again?”
”I don’t know about that,” he says, rolling his head to the side. “But, this feels like a good way to get some of my emotions out. I guess it’s more like writing poetry since I don’t have any music to go with it.”
”When was the last time you played your guitar?”
Eddie was still where he sat, gaze set on the papers in front of him. With the shift in mood you felt like maybe you asked the wrong question. You know it’s been a while, the guitar case sitting in his closet collecting dust since you’ve started coming to take care of him. His hands were getting better, though, so you don’t see why he couldn’t try and pick it back up again.
”Do you know…it’s been a year already?” He says lowly, lip quivering as he speaks.
”Since you played?” Eddie only nods, and you can tell there’s something else bothering him. You reach out and put a hand on his arm, rubbing it up and down. “Eddie, what’s wrong?” He glances down at your hand and lets out a sniffle.
”It’s been a whole year since…since everything. Since Chrissy. Since they thought I killed her and I went on the run. Since I went into that damn place and—” Tears are running down his cheeks as he goes on, and you just let him get it out. You knew that it was March last year when everything went down, but you didn’t think it was today. 
You shift where you sit, moving your body so you can wrap Eddie in a tight embrace. He starts sobbing then, the tears soaking your shoulder as he presses his face into you. You give him soft shushes and tell him he’s okay hoping that it would help him calm down a bit.
You’re not sure how long you held him for, but you didn’t let go until he quieted down. Pulling back, you watched as he wipes his tears away with his shirt, still sniffling as he tries to steady his breathing. “Eddie,” you say softly, not wanting to startle him. He glances up at you, eyes still glassy and now rimmed red from all the crying. 
“I know that nothing I say will make it better, but I just want to tell you that I love you and I’m happy you’re here. And I’m always going to be here when it gets bad like this, okay? You don’t have to deal with this alone.”
Eddie sighs, rubbing his hand over his face as he nods. “Yeah,” he croaks out, “I know that now. Thank you.”
You place a hand on either of his cheeks and rub your thumbs soothingly against his skin. He gives you a soft smile and leans into your touch, one of his hands resting on top of yours. 
“Why don’t we go take a shower?” You ask, changing the subject to try and distract him from any lingering thoughts he may be having. 
“Yeah, okay,” he says, sitting up and getting himself situated. He uses the couch to raise himself up onto the cushion, then pulls his chair over and hops in it. Even if you’ve seen him do it before, you were still amazed at how much he was able to do on his own now. You were so proud of him.
You grab your bag and the two of you head back into his room and you get the bathroom ready for the two of you to shower. You grab an extra towel and lay it next to Eddie’s as he works on getting undressed. “Do you want help getting out of your chair?” You ask as you start to undress, putting your clothes in the hamper with his to wash tomorrow.
”Nah, I got it,” he says, using the railing to pull himself up on his leg, body plopping into the plastic shower chair with a creak. He turns to look over at you and his eyes go wide as he takes you in. You laugh at his crazed expression, not sure what all the fuss is about.
”What?”
”You’re showering, too?” He gulps, eyes still locked on your naked body.
”Yeah, I said we were taking a shower. Is that okay?” You didn’t think he would mind, but now you were starting to second guess yourself. Was it too soon to be doing stuff like this together?
”No, it’s fine,” Eddie stutters out, his hands coming to his crotch to cover himself. “I just—“
”Eddie, are you getting hard again?” You ask with a giggle. He looks at you like he’s been caught red handed, a red tint to his cheeks that you can see as you walk over to him.
”Would you be mad if I was? I mean we just did it earlier…”
”Eddie, I’m never going to be mad at you for how your body reacts. I just think it’s cute is all.”
”Okay,” he says, uncovering himself so his hard cock is out in the open. Part of you is telling you to ignore it so he doesn’t get more embarrassed, but the primal part of your brain is telling you to wrap your lips around him and suck his soul out of his body. You decided on the former for now and grabbed the shower head, turning the water on and letting it warm up against your palm.
What you didn’t know was that Eddie was absolutely losing his mind as you stood in front of him. He wanted to reach out and touch you but was afraid of how you might react. He knows you had sex once today, but Eddie felt like he could go again already. Was something wrong with him? He couldn’t help it, he was just so attracted to you that he didn’t know how the hell he was supposed to not get hard again just from looking at you. Not when he had the image of you coming undone on his cock still fresh in his mind.
”Okay, it’s ready,” you say, snapping Eddie out of his thoughts. Eddie’s eyes are fixed on your ass as you reach up to replace the shower head, trying to memorize the way it sways as you move. 
You jump when you feel something touching you from behind. Looking over your shoulder, you see Eddie has his hand on your ass, his gaze fixed on your rear end.
”Like what you see?” You tease, and Eddie immediately retracts his hand and curls it into his body.
”Sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”
”Eddie, I don’t care that you touch me.” You turn around to face him, grabbing his hands and wrapping them around your body until they land on either cheek of your ass. He looks up at you like you’ve shocked him, his body tense below you.
”This is so weird.” It’s not the words Eddie wanted to say, but it’s the words that came out of his mouth. He could kick himself for being so uncool right now.
”You’ll get used to it.” You grab one of the wash clothes that were laid out and ran it under the water before grabbing the soap and lathering it up. You took the cloth and started to rub it on Eddie’s body. He watched as you cleaned him, and somehow this action felt more intimate than the two of you having sex. It wasn’t sexual, but it wasn’t clinical like other times you’ve taken care of him before. It had a feeling of domesticity to it that was new for the both of you. 
Eddie’s hands slid from your ass and landed on your hips, squeezing you gently in his grasp. He closed his eyes as you continued to clean him, making sure to be extra gentle around the scars that adorned his body. You wanted to kiss them, every single one. They were going to be a constant reminder of what he went through for the rest of his life, and you wanted to just take that pain away from him. But you can’t, so you’ll just have to do everything you can to remind him that what he went through doesn’t define him. 
You’ve scrubbed the top half of his body thoroughly by now, so now it was time to move lower. Eddie was still hard, and you didn’t know if you should ignore it or if it was time to acknowledge it. You moved the washcloth down his abdomen until you reached his cock, washing around it first. Eddie let out a small hum when you brought the washcloth to the base of his cock, and you decided that you were just going to go for it. 
You took the washcloth in your hand and wrapped it around his cock. He jerked at the contact, his head tilting back as you moved it up and down his length. “Fuck,” he breathes out, his dead drooping forward to watch you work him. His eyes were heavily lidded, his mouth agape as you moved your hand around him. 
“S’that feel good?” You ask him, not stopping your movements. He nods lazily, his eyes opening and closing the more worked up he gets. Watching him get worked up again was doing something for you, that tingly feeling coming back between your legs. You decided to just give in to the feeling, letting the washrag drop from your hands before jerking him with your bare hands.
”Shit,” he hisses at the feeling of your soft skin on his. You keep pumping him, and he moans when you pick up the pace. His grip on your hips tightens and his hips start to lightly buck into your hand as you continue on. 
All the sudden, his hand leaves your hip and reaches up to grab behind your head. He pulls you closer to him as he leans forward, your lips colliding in immediate passion. All teeth and tongues moving in sync as you devour each other like you were starving for the other’s touch. 
Then you pulled away, leaving him to chase after you. But you weren’t going to wait another second to feel him again. You kicked your leg around his shower chair, hand still on his length to hold him in place as you lowered yourself onto him. Once the tip was in, you did a quick maneuver to bring your other leg around the chair, leaving you to sink down fully on his cock in one swift motion. You gasp out from the feeling of being so full so quickly, and Eddie can’t bite back the groan that is pushed from his lungs.
You give yourself a second to adjust in the seat, doing your best to get leverage so you could move on him. But once you were stable, you grasped his shoulders and started moving in short bounces on his cock. The sounds of wet slapping mixed with yours and Eddie’s moans echoed in the bathroom. 
As you moved on Eddie’s cock, you leaned into him and met his lips once again. Eddie wrapped his arms around you and held you close, your wet chests rubbing together as you rode him with reckless abandon. Even when you felt the water starting to get cold you were almost thankful because of how hot you were feeling as you moved at a steady pace. You only stopped moving up and down to switch to rolling your hips, grinding your clit into his pelvis to get that stimulation you were craving.
”Mmm, fuck, Eddie,” you whine against his lips and he let out a breathy moan of his own.
”Fuck, you feel so good.” His voice is strained as he speaks. You press kisses against the side of his lips, then his cheek, working your way down until you get to his neck. You kiss and bite at his skin there, Eddie seemingly enjoying it by the sounds he’s making. “Holy fuck, fuck!” Eddie yells out when you bite down on the skin under his ear. It was then that Eddie grabbed your hips, stilling your movements as you felt him stiffen under you, hope ropes of cum shooting inside of you as he came. You watched him come undone, his whole face contorting in pleasure as he rode out his high. 
Once he relaxed, his whole body went limp as his hands fell from your hips. You couldn’t help but chuckle at how spent he was, the way his head hung like he’d just exerted all of his energy. You thought he’d enjoyed himself quite a bit until he looked up at you with a concerned look on his face.
“What?” You ask, tilting your head to the side.
“Did you cum?” He asks with genuine concern.
“No, but it’s okay,” you reassure him.
“No it’s not,” he says shaking his head. “You’re supposed to cum, too.”
“I’m not going to cum every time, Eddie. That’s just how it is,” you say with a shrug. But Eddie doesn’t like that answer, his hand making it’s way between you and probing around with his thumb.
“Where is it?” He says, his tongue poking out between his lips.
“Eddie!” You laugh, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away.
“C’mon, let me get you off,” he whines, trying to shake your grip from his hand. “I don’t want to be one of those guys who doesn’t get his girls to cum.”
“It’s really okay, Eddie. You made me cum earlier so it’s not like I went without.”
Eddie scoffs, looking like you wounded him with your words. But you ignore his pouting, moving to get off of him as your legs were starting to cramp from the position you were in. The water in the shower was almost ice, so you turned it as hot as it would go to see if you could get enough warm water to rinse yourselves off. 
After a quick wash off, the two of you got out of the shower and dried off to get ready for bed. You blow dried and brushed through Eddie’s hair, getting out all the tangles from the day until you were satisfied with how it looked. You pulled at the ends and tried to gauge how much you’d need to cut off when you eventually cut it, guessing at around an inch or so. Eddie just watched you, enjoying the way you played with his hair. He’s never been happier to have decided to let it grow out his freshman year after buzzing it all off. He’d never cut it again if it meant you’d keep touching him like this.
Soon the two of you made your way to the bed and crawled inside, both of you worn out from all of the activity you’d done today. Eddie pulled you into him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders so you could lay against his shirtless chest, feeling the rise and fall as he breathed. It was quiet as the two of you laid there, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness of his room.
“I love you,” Eddie says softly, barely above a whisper.
“I love you, too, Eds,” you say back, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. You couldn’t see it, but Eddie was cheesing over the fact that you said it back. He really couldn’t believe he was so lucky to have you, and that you actually loved him, despite everything.
“It still feels weird to say.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
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thanks for reading!
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ourdawnishotterthanourday · 2 months ago
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Fool In Love — Jeon Wonwoo
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✧ Love is a foolish thing ✧
Plot: Picture this… you find out exactly why your boyfriend has been so distant lately.
🎥 Starring: fem!reader x boyfriend!Jeon Wonwoo 🎥 Genre: big time angst 🎥 Word count: 1k 🎥 Warnings: swearing, cheating 🎥 Notes: more angst! sorry but not sorry hehe 🙃 🎥 Shout out: as always, thanks to my lemon drop @nothoughtsjustfic for helping and keeping me sane 💜
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♡ REBLOGGING AND/OR FEEDBACK WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED — DON'T BE A STRANGER PLS ♡
Set The Scene Masterlist —  Masterlist
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“Do you still love me?”
You watched as your boyfriend tore his eyes away from his phone, his face scrunching up in confusion.
“What? Of course I do. Why would you even ask me that?”
“I don’t know. You’ve just been so distant lately, always too busy to spend time with me or too tired to be intimate.” You threw up your hands. “Hell, we haven’t gone on a date in what feels like forever. It just made me start to question everything.”
Wonwoo pushed up his glasses, putting his phone away before making his way over to where you were seated on the couch. 
“You have nothing to worry about, baby. I love you and I’m not going anywhere, okay?” he assured you, wrapping a comforting arm around your frame. 
You nodded hesitantly, still not entirely convinced by his words. While you deeply loved your boyfriend of five years, you couldn’t deny that there was a disconnect between the two of you. Whereas just a year ago Wonwoo would have jumped at the opportunity to spend every waking moment with you, he barely looked at you nowadays. 
No more daily compliments, no more occasional presents, and certainly no more spontaneous dates.
You didn’t quite know what had caused it but you missed what you once had. More importantly, you missed the old Wonwoo. 
“How about we go somewhere for dinner tonight, just you and me? Like old times?” Wonwoo proposed, offering you a smile as he squeezed your arm. 
“I’d love that.” You smiled, a spark of hope settling in your stomach at the thought of rekindling your relationship. 
“Got any places in mind?”
“You remember that Italian place I’ve been wanting to go to?” Your eyes lit up in excitement. 
Wonwoo instantly dropped his smile at your suggestion, his eyes growing wide.
“No, not that one.”
You frowned, not understanding his sudden shift. “Why? We both love Italian food and I’ve heard great things about this place.”
“I’ve heard the food and staff are shit so I’m not willing to risk it, baby. Let’s just pick one we both love, hmm?”
“Wonwoo.”
“Y/N.”
You sighed in defeat. “You’re really not going to give in, are you?”
“Correct. Choose any other place.” He kissed your cheek. 
“Fine, I’ll find us another restaurant. But you’re paying.”
You’d been so excited for your upcoming date, carefully planning out your outfit and makeup, making sure to pick some of Wonwoo’s favorites in the hopes of ending the night with some long-awaited intimacy.
But all your hopes came crashing down when the two of you had sat down at the fancy restaurant. 
Wonwoo was distracted throughout the entirety of the dinner, practically glued to his phone which seemed to go off every few minutes. Bad thoughts were floating through your mind as you watched him try to contain his smile every time he glanced at the device, not for a second believing his excuse of being so excited to spend quality time with the love of his life. But you also didn’t want to assume the worst because it was Wonwoo after all, the man who’d promised with his entire heart that he’d never ever hurt you like that. 
And you wanted to believe that, you really needed to believe that. 
But as the days passed, the distance between you never lessened, only seeming to become bigger and bigger until you felt like you could no longer be comfortable in your skin around your boyfriend. 
That’s why you eventually sought out one of your dearest friends on one of those nights where Wonwoo had to work over hours at the office. You were planning to share your thoughts about your relationship with her over dinner, needing to have someone to confirm that you were not actually going crazy. You knew she would understand, having had her fair share of relationship struggles herself.
“You’re telling me he didn’t want to go here? For real?” Nayoung asked in disbelief as the two of you entered the high-class Italian restaurant, several staff members approaching you to take your coats and name of the reservation. 
“Don’t get me started. Something about bad service and food,” you mumbled softly so the staff wouldn’t overhear. 
Nayoung snorted as you began to follow the hostess through the restaurant. “Now that is some bullshit if I ever heard some. I’ve heard nothing but praise. It has one Michelin star for god’s sake.”
“He wouldn’t budge. I wasn’t going to push it. Anyway, I’m glad to experience it with someone who can appreciate it.” You put a smile on your face as you both sat down at your assigned table. 
“Of course, you know I’m never one to turn down a fancy d— oh fuck no.” 
Nayoung didn’t finish her sentence, her eyes focused on something behind you. It couldn’t be anything good judging by the displeased expression on her face. 
“What are you looking at?”
“No, wait!” She tried to reach for you but you’d already turned around, your eyes falling on a couple, the man having just leaned in to kiss the woman on the lips. 
Wait.
“Y/N.”
You couldn’t even hear her since your heart was beating all the way in your ears, drowning out everything around you as you watched the man pull away with a lovestruck look on his face. 
It was the look he used to give you. 
As if sensing someone was looking at him, he slowly turned his head, freezing on the spot as his dark brown orbs connected with yours.
He obviously didn’t expect to be caught here of all places. 
You didn’t waste time making a beeline for the exit, ignoring the desperate pleas coming out of his mouth as you tried to keep it together for just a bit longer. 
Everything suddenly made sense. 
The distance, the phone, the restaurant. 
You should have trusted your gut.
But you chose to believe him like the fool in love you were. 
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itsriabby · 1 month ago
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Mona Lisa - S.H. (Part 2)
“Bob Ross over here”
actor!steve x makeupartist!reader
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Plot: When Steve meets his beloved makeup artist’s replacement, he swears it’s hate at first sight. But… is there truly such a thing?
Trope: enemies x lovers
Warnings: Mention of family trauma.
Helloooo! Thank you so much for the love on part one! Since you asked to make this a series, your wishes are my command. ;) Hope you like it!
Main Masterlist | Chapter 3
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“You’re a magician babe, I look bad as fuck!” Eddie exclaims excitedly, checking himself out in the mirror while posing. They were filming very action-filled scenes this week, so you had to do a couple bruises and cuts on Eddie’s face. Let’s say he liked the results.
“Right? You’re looking too hot Eds, you should get beaten up more often.” You nod to him, jokingly fanning your face.
“Gladly, if you do the honors.” He raises his eyebrows flirtatiously.
“I don’t know.” You shrug “I can’t fathom harming your beautiful face.” You smile at him, giggling a little.
“Oh babe, I would so enjoy it if it came from you.” He switched to a seductive voice, holding in his laughter.
“I’m gonna throw up.” Steve mutters, sitting on his phone in the corner of the room.
It’s been a couple weeks since filming began, and if one thing’s for certain, it’s the fact that Steve and you hate each other.
After that amazing first impression, you tried to be the better person and let it go. But Steve didn’t do the same. He started doing little things to piss you off; things like talking on the phone the whole time and moving excessively, pointing out non-existent errors (“you missed a spot here”,”you made me look too pale”,”actually, I liked it better before, change it”…) and being extremely late on purpose so you’d have to rush and do it in 10 minutes. It was making you go crazy.
So, you decided to inconvenience him just as much. You took the cushion off his chair, made sure to poke him in the eye a couple times, blended his makeup excessively hard, turned the air conditioner too cold, dropped his phone and belongings off your desk “by accident” because they’re in the way… It was a full on war now.
The quips and rude talking continued, not even trying to conceal it in front of other castmates. It was a known fact: Filming starts at 9 am, you come with your lines learned, Steve and you can’t stand each other.
Eddie was a pleasant surprise. He had joined the cast as a new character, and you immediately hit it off. He loves joking around and play flirting with you, and to be honest, you’re thankful for the lightness and fun he brings to the trailer.
“If I see vomit on the floor, you’re cleaning the whole thing with a toothbrush.” You harden your voice, making sure he hears it.
“Sure, why don’t you lend me yours?” He smiles sarcastically.
“Oh, you don’t own one? My bad, I assumed you did basic hygiene.” You return the same fake smile.
He rolls his eyes, falling back on the chair “You know I do, I see you getting unnecessarily close to me. You have a smell kink or something?”
You narrow your eyes “Nah, I’ve become accustomed to your odor, I can even stand it now.” You put your hands on your hips, like you’re proud of yourself.
“Haha.” he singsongs, visibly upset by you saying that, as if his bathroom isn’t filled with multiple scented products, 10-steps-routines, and a vast collection of colognes (he’s still trying to find his signature fragrance, ok?) “Her obsession is becoming a problem Munson, she’s just so in love with me.” He smirks, raising his eyebrows cockily.
Eddie puts his hands up in surrender and looks away, as if not wanting to take part in this whole situation.
You frown, offended “I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, Steven.”
“How many times do I have to say my name’s not fucking Steven!” He throws his hands in the air.
“You know, I’d love to keep watching you guys fight, but Frankie has to do my hair, so I’ll leave you to it.” Eddie stands up from his chair and does a soldier salute.
“C’mon man, do I seriously have to be alone with her?” Steve pleads to him.
“Yup, I’ll give you that privilege.” Eddie winks at you and turns around to leave.
“Lucky me.” You mutter under your breath.
“I heard that!”
“That was the point.” You roll your eyes.
The trailer is filled with tense silence as soon as Eddie leaves. It’s been two weeks now filled with conversations like these. Most times you enjoy making him mad, it’s fun, and you have to admit it makes you feel alive. But it’s in times like these that you realize how little you know about each other, and how unbearable it feels to sit in quiet resentment, wondering what the next issue will be.
You’re putting concealer on his dark under eyes when he starts to scoff.
“What?” You spit.
He shrugs “That’s not how Angela did it.”
You step back and look at him with desdain “Well that’s too bad, cause she’s not your makeup artist, I am.”
“Trust me I know, I pray for you to get fired everyday..” he clenched his jaw, still not looking at you.
“What a coincidence! I pray for your character to get killed off, so we’re even.” You keep tapping the brush aggressively on his face.
He looks up at you, frowning, and grabs your wrist, taking your brush off of him “What is your problem?”
“My problem?” You raise your eyebrows incredulously “What’s YOUR problem? You started this with your “oh my dear Angela got sent home and they brought this ugly skank in her place” shit.”.
“Ok, first, I never said you were ugly, second, I said I was sorry for insinuating you slept your way here. Get over it.” He stated, signaling the one and two with his fingers.
He’s so fucking smug. You roll your eyes.
You were about to make another remark when you step back a second, remembering what he said. A slow smirk takes ahold of your face, and you point an accusatory finger at him “You think I’m pretty?”
He looks taken aback by your reaction, letting his hands fall to his thighs “That’s what you take from what I said?”
He looks annoyed, looking at you like you’re something he’d rather get rid off quickly. He raised a hand to point at your brush, and before you can say anything, he beats you to it “Whatever, just finish already so I can be gone.”
You poke your tongue into your cheek, a little butthurt that he didn’t play along with the rouse, and a little insecure that he didn’t answer your question “Yeah, ok.” You mutter.
The hateful banter bubble has popped, and now you stay quiet, the air feeling uncomfortable. You keep your eyes focused on your brush strokes, and Steve subtly looks at your face, trying to read you. He starts moving his leg up and down, and his hands grip the arms of the chair. He’s thinking of speaking when your phone goes off.
You frown, like you shouldn’t be getting that call, and quickly drop the brush on the table, muttering a soft “sorry” and beelining for your purse.
Steve can see your face dropping when you see who’s calling you, then you make a gesture to him as if asking him to wait one minute. He nods. “Mum? What’s wrong?” You whisper into the phone, trying to keep your voice low. “It’s- mum, no just- just lay down. I’ll be there before you know it.” You rub your forehead in a stressed manner, clenching and unclenching your first. It’s something Steve used to do when he talked to his parents too, one thing you seem to have in common. “Mom I’m at work I have to- I- yeah… I know mom.” Your shoulders drop “I’m hanging up ok? I’ll talk to you later.” He can still hear the faint muffled talking when you cut the line.
You go back to work, while Steve looks at you worriedly. The fight, passion and sass you usually sport has been drained out of you, and he doesn’t get why it bothers him so much.
He lightly taps your arm, trying to make you feel better in a way but not knowing how, since you both don’t really do this kinda stuff “Um, are you… are you ok?”
Your stare falls to his eyes, taking in his troubled expression. You shake off your uneasiness and try to put on a normal face “I’m good.”
“You sure?”
You hum your affirmation, still not looking at him.
He gets a little closer to inspect your face, and after a couple seconds he leans back and takes your hands, lowering them and holding them gently in his “Hey it’s still early, maybe you could… I don’t mind if you take a break, you know?” He looks briefly at the clock in the wall and looks back at you empathetically, giving you a tight smile.
You scowl at him, taking your hands away and letting his fall on his lap “Don’t pity me.”
You hate when this happens, he doesn’t even know the situation and he already feels bad for you. You’re supposed to be professional, you’re young for this job as it is, you don’t want to seen like a little kid that has to take “breaks” in between her already short work hours. You need to be taken seriously, you need to be looked at as an adult competent enough to do this job.
“Woah- I don’t-“ he holds his hands up in surrender, trying to explain but you cut him off.
“I am perfectly capable of doing this in the scheduled time.” You glower, rushing to pick up more product to work on him.
“I never said you weren’t.”
“But you implied it.” You raise your eyebrows, finishing with the base and getting the eyeshadow palette to make his skin look a little dirtier.
“No I didn’t! I just- geez I just wanted to be nice for a second, It won’t happen again… God.” He mutters the last part, exhaling loudly.
You clench your jaw and stay quiet for a second. He has a point.
You speak under your breath, not wanting to say he was right “Maybe I overreacted a little.”
“You think?” He breaks into a small smile, and neither of you speak after that, letting you get your work done.
After 5 more minutes of him looking at you or resting his eyes while you put his makeup on, you speak softly “That’s all.”
You step back, letting him look at himself in the mirror, checking out the results. He nods and gives you a polite smile “Thanks.”
You return it “Don’t thank me, I get paid for this.”
He scoffs at your joke, shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable.”
“I’ve been told.”
He stands up, dusting his jeans off the specks of setting powder that might’ve fallen before “Well… I’ll see you tomorrow.”.
You nod “See you tomorrow.” He does an awkward wave goodbye and turns to leave “Oh, and Steven?”
“My name’s not-“ Sigh “What?”
You try to stifle your smile “Your fly is open.”
His eyes go big and he panic checks himself, quickly reaching for the zipper of his jeans. His face turns into a scowl when he sees you were taking a piss out of him “You think you’re so funny…”
“I know I am.” You giggle “Goodbye Steven.” You usher him out.
He rolls his eyes but lets a tiny smile slip out “Sure, whatever.”
He’s gone before you know it. A genuine smile comes to your face, and you hate the fact that you can’t hold it in.
This doesn’t mean you like him, it doesn’t even mean you tolerate him, not in the slightest. But… maybe he’s not that bad.
Like a Peace treaty… for now at least.
———————————————————————
The Peace treaty is out the fucking window.
“Give. It. Back.”
“No.”
“I swear to God, If that thing is not on my palm in the next three seconds…” You hold your hand out, pinching between your eyes in exasperation.
“It won’t be until you admit that I’m a good actor!” Steve holds your phone above both of you, his arm straight so there’s no way you can reach it.
Steve and you getting along barely lasted a day. Before you knew it, you both found new ways to bring chaos into the trailer again. You guess that’s just how it’s always gonna be with both of you.
“I mean, you’re here aren’t you?” You wave around to signal the set they’re in.
“That’s not- that doesn’t mean anything!”
“I don’t know Steve, maybe you’re blowing this out of proportion.” Robin shrugs, happily eating your bag of salted almonds.
You’ve become pretty good friends with Robin. She’s alone most of the time she has to be here, so one day you saw her eating alone and invited her to eat with you. She hasn’t left your side since.
When Steve said you can’t get rid of her, he really meant it. She follows you everywhere when Steve’s away, and even when he is, she usually takes your side, which makes you like her even more than you already do. She gets your humor, and she also gets the way young women are treated in here, so it’s not a surprise that you bonded over bad-mouthing certain creepy producers. It’s nice to have a girl friend here. You didn’t know you needed one so much.
“What?” His eyebrows scrunch and he looks at Robin like she betrayed him “Robs! Bob Ross over here said I was a telenovela actor, I’m not a telenovela actor!”
“Alright, alright… Calm your tits Steven it was just a joke.” You try to take the phone out of his hand while he’s not looking, but still, no luck.
“It’s not a joke, it’s an insult to my work.” His shoulders slump while he still keeps your phone high up. You can hear a sad tone on his voice.
Robin looks pitiful now, stopping her chomp on your food to give you a “fix it” look.
Ok, maybe it was a sensitive subject.
You cross your arms taking a deep breath “You’re a good actor.” You mutter in one tone, giving in. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’ll be upset by my comment”.
He raises an eyebrow.
“I mean, I knew you’d be upset, but I was hoping towards a passive aggressive talk back, not for you to go all sad puppy.” You look around, trying to avoid his gaze.
He smiles a little connivingly and drops his hands down, handing you your phone “See? It wasn’t that hard, was it?”
“Don’t push it” you give him a pointed look, and he nods with a tight-lipped smile.
——————
You’re packing up your things a couple days later when you hear knocks on the trailer’s door.
“Cleaning lady!”
You smile recognizing the voice, even in its high-pitched form “Come in Eddie.”
He opens the door, walking in that laid back attitude he always has. Robin walks behind, rushing around him to sit next to you. A couple meters away, Steve slowly steps into the room.
“So,” Eddie claps his hands together, looking at you with an all-knowing smirk “We have a proposition.”
You raise your eyebrows skeptically “I love you Eds, but if this is you asking me to have an orgy with you guys, I’m gonna have to pass.”
He cackles at your response, shaking his head no “Damn babe, you really know how to let me down… But no, it’s not that. I got tickets to a very limited, very exclusive party in the valley tomorrow night, and you’re coming with us.” He makes a little dance, grinning from ear to ear.
Robin nods enthusiastically beside you.
You give them a fake smile “I don’t know guys, I’d love to but I’m not sure I’ll have the time.” Truly you did have the time, but you were worried about leaving your mom home alone. Your depressed, alcohol-dependent, messed-up mom.
It’s not something you talk about a lot, plus you hadn’t really made any friends in the city until now, so it hadn’t been an issue until today.
But you need to keep these friends, and telling them the extent of your family trauma is not really the best way to make them think you’re cool.
“Bffff, of course you do!” Eddie pushes your shoulder softly “C’mon, you just have to get all dolled up for me, and I’ll pick you up from wherever.”
You silently think about it, maybe one night away won’t make much of a difference.
“Pleaseeeeeee, you can’t leave me alone with these pigs.” Robin jokes about Eddie and Steve, the last one looking at you, also waiting on your answer.
He’s got his hands in his pockets. It’s like he’s trying to make it seem like he couldn’t care less, but you can see the way he’s staring. Does he want you to say yes?
Do you want him to want you to say yes?
You do. Why?
You surprise yourself with the answer “Sure, alright I’ll go.”
Eddie picks you up in a bear hug, and Robin takes you from him to hold you too, jumping around and babbling excitedly non-stop about how fun you’re gonna have and how long it’s been since she’s gone to a party like this.
Lifting your stare from Robin’s shoulder, you meet Steve’s eyes. He notices and nods at you, smiling genuinely.
You return it, and nod slightly to Robin, making a face as if saying “She’s a little crazy.”
He chuckles softly and shrugs his shoulders, raising his eyebrows as if saying “What can we do?”
And it’s in this moment, you think Steve Harrington is rubbing off on you. He’s still insufferable, don’t get me wrong, but… maybe, just maybe, you could get used to it.
At the same time, Steve stares at you thinking the same thing, wondering if maybe the warm feeling inside him is a signal of a blooming friendship.
Well, he’ll see just what that feeling is the following night, in that extravagant party, where he can’t seem to take his eyes off of you, you and the guy shamelessly flirting with you.
————————————————————————
Hiiii! Did you like iiit? Someone said to make a taglist, so I added the people who commented and reposted. If you want to be on it tell me and you’re in! :)
@chelseypprimrose @stilesbilinskixx @campcampie @boomitsallie1 @spelliwasunder @wishing-on-a-staranise @stranger-things-mania @irrelevantbutembarrassing @thepassionatereader @cosmicspacewitch @seatnights @talkativecarnation @littlemisslovestoread @skipper2505 @aphetropy
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inkyarcturus · 9 months ago
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Harry having never learned how to play because the Dursleys refused to buy him toys, Dudley refused to let him play with his, and other kids generally avoided him.
When he gets adopted by Snape, pre-Hogwarts, Snape finds out about Harry never being allowed toys while they’re out shopping and he proceeds to buy him a little dear plush.
Harry is absolutely enamored by the plush, but has absolutely no clue what he’s supposed to do with it at all. So after about 30 minutes of him just appreciatively staring at the stuffed animal, Severus is completely perplexed and asks him what’s wrong.
Harry tries explaining to the best of his ability that he doesn’t know what to do, but truly does love the gift, leading to him asking Snape, “how do I play?”.
Severus is immediately reminded of his own childhood, pre-Lily, where he had no one to play with. He is absolutely distraught that Harry has had a similar childhood experience and needs to fix that now, like right now. He sits down on the floor, crisscross applesauce style, and attempts to teach Harry how to play despite having not done so in over a decade.
“First step, children tend to choose a name for their new toy. What would you think is a good name for our… little friend here?” Severus picks up the plush deer awkwardly.
Harry’s eyes crinkle in delight at the scene.
“Why do kids name them?” Harry tilts his head, staring wide eyed at the plush, “I don’t want to pick the wrong name.”
“Oh? Well, I suppose it makes you feel more attached to the toy, and it helps when it comes to imaginative play to specify which one you are referring to,” the tall man’s brows furrow for a second, “As for choosing the wrong name, there is no ‘wrong’ answer little prince. This is a gift. This is yours.”
Harry blinks, “Mine?”
“That’s right, now name please, it doesn’t need to be perfect, you can always change it later child.”
Looking around the room for inspiration, Harry mumbled out a name, “… Mr. Fawn?”
“Perfect, Mr. Fawn, it is. Now, it’ll be a little difficult to demonstrate pretend play with only one character, but I think I can manage a small display.”
Severus proceeds to give the cutest lil introduction for Mr. Fawn, going so far as to make a voice to keep Harry as engaged as possible. Harry is absolutely having the time of his life giggling, gasping, asking questions and yelling out responses.
They end up doing this until bedtime. Severus gives back Mr. Fawn to Harry so he can sleep with him, watching as they go through their nighttime routine that Harry absolutely refuses to let the deer go. As soon as Severus shuts the lights out in Harry’s room, he hears Harry whisper, “night Sev’rus, night night Mr. Fawn.”
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stevesgother · 7 months ago
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I Don't Want You Like A Bestfriend - S.H
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Pairing - Bestfriend!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader
WC - 2.3k
Warnings - mentions of anxiety, reader not liking large gatherings, swearing, alcohol (reader works at a bar). As always, let me know if I missed anything!
AN - Part 2 of the Dress mini series! This could technically be a standalone fic, but for the full context I would recommend reading part 1 :) 
Dress Series - Pt 1, Pt 2
December 1987
2 bowls of popcorn and 4 movies later, you’re laying on opposite ends of your twin bed with your best friend; gossiping lazily with droopy eyelids.
“I cannot go to their wedding without a date, Rob.” looking at her exasperated, “That’s like, totally embarrassing! Steve’s gonna have this Madonna-ey, bombshell blonde and with giant boobs and I'm gonna bring who? My cousin? Not happening.” You say with finality.
“Well forgive me,” Robin deadpans. “I only know like,” She gestures dramatically, trying to count in her head, “7 boys!”
May 1985
Immediately upon opening your eyes, you’re met with the blinding pain of your too big brain bouncing around inside your skull and a foreboding sense of dread upon recalling the way you behaved the night before.
You could only remember bits and pieces of the wretched night, but you were humiliated nonetheless. Had you said something you shouldn’t have? Your stomach churns at the thought and briefly you fear you might yak again.
A few weeks later, you were walking the stage, diploma in hand. Steve had broken up with Nancy Wheeler the week following prom. Feigning some bullshit about him leaving for college; not wanting to do long distance. Those cliche, overused excuses that everyone knows loosely translate to “I don’t love you anymore.”
Steve didn’t even get into tech, unbeknownst to Nancy. He was dodgy when you asked him about their breakup. “I just felt like we didn’t make sense anymore, you know? But it-” he sighed, “it’s just, it’s not like I could say that to her.” 
You didn’t want to push the subject further, despite your bewilderment. Part of you felt desperately guilty at the idea that you may have been the catalyst for what happened to their relationship. You didn’t dare ask, though. Maybe you didn’t want to know, or maybe you just didn’t want to make it about yourself. 
December 1987
The Wandering Dog was especially busy tonight. Folks trying to escape their in-laws for a few hours during the holiday season, college kids home for break trying to get wasted; and all of it was your problem. The pay was nice, you made good tips bartending. Right as you watch someone knock over an entire tray of drinks, a familiar head of hair makes its way to sit in front of you at the bar. Distracting, but not enough to suppress the groan that leaves your throat when it dawns on you that those drinks are your mess to clean up later.
“Steve-o,” you force a smile at him, “what can I do for ya on this..lovely evening?”
“Can’t a guy visit his favorite lady without needing a reason?” He lilts.
You try not to let on how flustered you feel at his usage of ‘favorite lady’. 
“You hate this bar, you’re also technically banned-” he cuts you off with a wave of his hand “Still? Seriously? It was one time-” Your turn to interrupt, “No actually, year prior? That was your first warning.” You’re met with a roll of the eyes, forgetting how utterly sassy he’s become in the last few years. You can’t decide whether you love or hate the development.
“I actually uh,” he runs a hand through his hair- a nervous habit, “I wanted to ask you something,”. You look at him quizzically, unable to pinpoint what's caused such a sudden shift in his demeanor.
“Okay…” you draw out the last syllable, more confused than unkind. “Spill it Hairspray, you’re kind of freaking me out.” you give an awkward chuckle. Your friendship is hardly what you’d consider serious. Sure, you’ve had your share of late night, existential conversations; but you can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve made the other actually nervous.
He clears his throat, “sorry yeah, sorry. I was wondering uh, ifyouwouldbemydatetojoyceandhopperswedding.”
The rest of his sentence comes out as one jumbled word. You do a double take when you finally process what he’s asking, and you choke a little on the Coke you were sipping. “What?-”
“-As friends!” he blurts loudly as his hands shoot out in front of him in a defensive gesture, “obviously, as friends. That’s- what I meant.” his words lose confidence every time he opens his mouth.
You stare for a little too long, mouth hanging open like a trout. “You don’t..already have a date?” You hope he doesn’t take offense to the inquiry. Steve Harrington can most certainly find a plus one to a simple wedding.
“Yeah I- something like that,” his mouth opens like he’s going to explain further before deciding against it; settling on a lopsided smile instead. He’s terrified he’s blown his cover. If he had given any effort at all to the endeavor, surely he would’ve been able to find a date. Fancy car, rich parents, million dollar smile and his infallible charm. The problem was that he didn’t want to go with another Heidi. Another Jessica. Another Stacy.
He wanted to go with you.
Even if it meant just as friends. You two were just friends.
-
Joyce and Hopper’s wedding was at Pokagon State Park, and the drive up was less than stellar. 3 hours stuffed inside a cramped BMW with Robin, Eddie, and Vickie. You were fortunate enough to be riding shotgun next to Steve for the trip, Eddie muttering something about ‘date privilege’.
When you arrived at the cabin you’d be sharing with your 4 friends, you were a little mortified. There was a room for Vickie and Robin, and Eddie claimed the pullout couch almost immediately. This leaves one more room. With one bed. For you and Steve Harrington. It’s possible Joyce may have misinterpreted the reality of your situation when booking the rooming accommodations.
If it bothered Steve, he didn’t show it. You guys had had sleepovers before, but almost never in the same bed. His house had a plethora of guest bedrooms, and your father would be found dead before he let a boy sleep in your room, even at the ripe age of 20.
We’re adults, you think. We can be mature about this.
There isn’t much time to dwell on it before you’re being stuffed by Robin into a too tight, wine red bridesmaid dress.
“I feel sick,” you say, groaning. “Do not barf on me,” she warns with a stern look, though you can tell she’s not really annoyed. “I really like these shoes.” Despite the itchy fabric of the dress and the obnoxiously loud color, you do look breathtakingly beautiful. Red has always been your color. 
“Hey dingus! Stop gawking and zip me would you?” Robin lightly kicks you with her bare foot, taking you out of your own head. When you exit the bathroom, you’re immediately met with the 2 boys. Even Eddie, who you don’t believe you’ve ever seen not in ripped jeans, cleans up nice.
Steve looks…strapping. Not handsome in the boyish way you’re used to. He’s all slicked hair, cufflinks and well-pressed wool. He meets your gaze and you swear his pupils dilate just slightly. An arm is offered to walk you to his car. He smells like cinnamon and cedar, woodsy and spice. He opens the passenger door for you and God, he’s a gentleman.
It’s going to be a long night.
The venue was terribly charming. Floor to ceiling windows highlight the snow falling outside in big, fat flakes over the water. The room was lit entirely by yellow string lights, casting a permanent warm hue over the lodge.
On a table clad in lace, there were 5 notecards scribbled on in cursive ink. The one that adorned your name was directly adjacent to one that read Steve Harrington. They were paired with party favors wrapped neatly with a white silk bow.
Steve wanted to pull out your chair for you. He wanted to sit beside you with his hand in yours. Hell, he would’ve bought you a corsage if he thought it appropriate. A death by a thousand cuts; he was again reminded of the fact that you were not his, and he was not yours.
You were unable to identify the source of the nagging anxiety you felt. You were never partial to big gatherings like this, but the unease you were experiencing now was different. All you could do was relax, and try to enjoy the reception. Try not to pay mind to the stark, masculine presence sitting beside you.
The newlyweds’ first dance was to the beloved ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ By INXS. You think about how remarkably fitting a song it was for them and everything they had endured together. The restlessness you had previously felt started to steadily fade after that; laughing and chatting with your friends. It started to feel..normal, for a while.
Just then, like some sick esoteric joke, you hear the unmistakable beginning notes of ‘I’ll Be Over You’ by Toto. When you turn to your left, Steve has a poorly concealed, shit-eating grin on his face.
In the most sober tone he can muster through his unseriousness, he asks, “Can I have this dance?” while extending his hand to you. He prays you don’t notice it trembling slightly. It’s the undeniable corniness of his request that manages to strangle a laugh out of you.
 “I thought you’d never ask.”
With one hand delicately placed on your hip, he threads the other one with your own fingers as he starts to sway. You clumsily try to match his rhythm; so nervous that you’re becoming uncoordinated. His chest is nearly touching yours, and your noses are a hairsbreadth apart. It feels profoundly intimate.
'as soon as forever is through, I'll be over you.'
He leans his head down so his lips just brush your ear as he whispers, “You okay?”
You scoff, unconvincingly. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You know he can see right through you. It’s fruitless to try and deceive him.
“You just seem,” he gives your waist a small squeeze, “a little tense.” You swallow hard.
“Just say the word and I'll take you home.” ‘Home’ meaning back to the cabin. Not the comforting safety of your own bed back in Hawkins. You appreciate his earnestly either way.
“I know, Steve.” you lilt, trying to lighten the intensity of the moment with a teasing tone. You rest your head against his shoulder, if only so you don’t have to keep holding his all-consuming gaze.
-
Despite the thermostat being set at a comfortable 75 degrees, you were still shivering slightly. You always ran cold. You stood in front of a dusty vanity mirror trying to extend your arms behind your back far enough to unzip this godforsaken dress.
You felt him more than you saw him. Steve’s presence displaces the air in the room as one does to water when they sink down into a steaming bath: noticeably, and comfortably. You pay him no mind as you continue to struggle with the zipper. Mulling around the same room; busy with your separate tasks, this was familiar to you. Not often did you have to acknowledge the other for them to know you were grateful for their company.
“Need a hand with that?” he asks, slightly amused as he saunters over to you.
You hesitate for a moment before looking over your shoulder and offering him a shy smile, “Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind?” You know he doesn’t.
His scent envelopes you like a thick fog when he approaches you. His calloused fingers pinch the clasp and pull it down its tracks slowly. The sound is piercing in the quiet of your shared room; your senses dialed up to 11. You can feel his warm, freshly minty breath fan over your shoulders and the nape of your neck. Your arms erupt in goosebumps at the sensation.
He stands there, he realizes, longer than he needs to. 
“Okay I’m gonna-” “There you go-” you both speak at the same time. 
You huff an awkward breath of a laugh before you finish your thought, “I’m gonna..go change.” you throw a thumb behind you in the direction of the ensuite. “Right, yeah,” he shakes his head as if to escape his own thoughts; his turn to act shy.
-
Lying in bed, you’re suddenly grateful that Steve has always been something of a personal space heater. The warmth he radiates makes you want to curl into him, against your better judgment. The silence in the room is deafening; the only sounds to be heard are rhythmic breathing and the creaking of the ancient plumbing.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Steve’s voice is hoarse, no doubt from the boisterous singing he’d been doing earlier in the evening. Still, you’re grateful for the crack in the wall that's been plastered between you.
“I like secrets,”
“I hate weddings.”
The stiff fabric of the pillowcase crinkles as you turn your head to look at him.
“I am happy for them, it’s not that,” he starts, “it’s just, what if it’s never me up there ya know?”  It’s not that he’s scared he’ll never marry; it’s that he’s scared he’ll never marry you.
You want to reach out for him then. Hold his face in your hands and tell him you understand. There are so many unspoken words between you. Things unsaid, but implied. The desire to yell and scream and confess how much you love him is overwhelming.
“Steve. You’re only twenty,” smiling lightheartedly, “there’s so much time for you. There are plenty of women out there that would be delighted to swear themselves to you for eternity. Believe me.” You chuckle and pretend like the reason you know that to be the truth isn’t because you’re one of them.
“I know, I know,” he brings a hand up to card through his bed mussed hair, “you’re right, it’s silly.”
“I didn’t say it was silly,” you elbow his side gently, consequently moving your body closer to his.
He doesn’t say anything then. Instead, his hand cautiously moves over the bed until it’s touching yours; intertwining your pinkies. He doesn’t breathe, as if any sudden movements might scare you like a frightened doe. If he breathes, you might remember you’re not supposed to be doing this.
“If we’re not married by the time we’re,” he pretends to ponder, “32, will you marry me?”
You laugh, the unexpected loudness of it making you cringe a little, “yes,”
“Promise?” He sounds deadly serious.
You tighten your pinky around his, “Promise.”
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 months ago
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Misc Doodles Side effects of repeated mind melds under duress Mind melds as self soothing & self harm They should invent a body that doesn't keep score [Patreon | Commissions]
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deadkraker · 10 months ago
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“Don’t hang up the phone, I love you to death..”
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