#sritaluna

[sritaluna24]

Over thinker

She’s already gone through a roller coaster of emotions...

Thinking the worst...

Wanting the best, but knowing it’s not...

You watch the twinkle of warmth receded from her soft eyes...

You watch the lonesome tear travel down her rosy checks...

You watch her sit...

You see the dark tendrils of doubt creep into her mind...

Creating a horrible ending....

You see her spine straighten... the anger and strength light her eyes...

She won’t let it get to her... she’s been too strong for too long to allow the denial...

Bing...

One unread message...

and all her thoughts subside into the back waiting until the next small infraction...

[sritaluna]

Happy birthday to me...

It’s been another year... full of tears, smiles and laughes...

I once read a quote that said something along the lines of: the human race will die of running out of time... because we are the only living thing that measures time....

Im happy to say, most of my heartaches have slowly been put together... it’s not perfect nor has or healed but it improvement...

Im sad to say I wish certain people were here with me in this time, but I can’t keep wishing for something if no one else wants it...

Im happy to say I’m slowly learning to stop counting time... it a useful and useless quality to have at the same time... always counting time, expectations on time length... it will come when it’s needed...

A little over a quarter of a century old... My advice to all those who would like to know is:

Stop counting time, enjoy it passing away without you worrying about it... don’t dwell on how long your path is going, and how fast others went... stop counting time.. and start counting the blessing along the way... start counting the changes you’ve made...

Oh.. and happy birthday to me again... 🥰

[sritaluna24]

I am my self destruction ...

SritaLuna🐞

[sritaluna24]

Simple Affection

I like the simple thing... simple dates... simple forms of affection...

Like lying on the couch, with my legs over you, as I read a book to us... (#bookworm)

Just being able to be the person, who slows your mind back into our reality, is a heart soaring feeling...

Having sweet picnics in the park, with a cute little basket, and a blanket.. is a definite swoon worthy date...

Holding hands as we walk... make me feel, as if you want to show me off to the world...

Bringing me a single flower... of any type.. wether you got it from our yard, makes me feel like you’re thinking of me every second just to make me smile.. (even though you aren’t and that’s okay haha life Is life..)

Smacking my ass... makes me feel like dammm that’s mine...

Kisses... goodness tons of kisses... don’t forgot a minimum of one in the mornings before you leave and one before you close you eyes to sleep...

A love letter... or love note... for me to find... or mailed to me... (swoon...)

Or just looking at me ... like there is no other girl in the world ... (😍)

Affections don’t always have to be money based... its the dang thought that counts... atleast in my eyes it does... it means you care enough to try... try... and keep trying..

*Don’t get me a wrong a fancy dinner date out..once in a blue moon is just as romantic...*

(6.14.18)

🐞

[sritaluna24]

Listen to my music... that’s everything you need to know about me...

SritaLuna 🐞

[sritaluna24]

Late night Turmoil

How can someone love me... if I can’t love myself?

I can’t see myself in the mirror without hiding... without covering myself...

I can’t accept my curves.. my rolls... my stretch marks... my stomach... my imperfections...

I’ve always been La gorda...

I can love my specific pieces of myself...

My lips... my eyes... my hips... my butt... my hair... but

Not the whole puzzle... why can’t I stand to see myself in a mirror and be proud? Be happy? Feel sexy? Why?

I am so jealous and PROUD of all those women and men out there who promote body positivity... and their acceptance of their body... why can’t I reach that...? (you make me feel amazing to be a women..)

How can someone love my body... accept by body... make love to my body... if I can’t do it myself? How can I ask someone to do something I can’t for myself??

Is it fair? ...

Will losing weight help?

Will looking like all those other models make me feel sexy?

Will wearing make help?

Will acting confident help?

Will taking more time in choosing my outfits help?

Will wearing heels help?

Will making the first move help?

Will rolling these thoughts in my head help?

Is there an answer to any of this?

Am I the only one?

Why does the number on the scale terrify me?

Why does society put these fucked up thoughts in our heads at such a young age?

Why are other girls so cruel to one another?

Why do men yell fatass down the hall as you walk by?

Why is physical appearance placed above all else?

Why don’t we see more people lift other up trending... then those tearing others down?

(6.29.18)

🐞

[sritaluna24]

I wish upon the moon...

That I find the love you read in books...

where your toes curl just thinking of them... where you find yourself smiling silly, as they pop into your mind...

where you could never see yourself hurting them...

where the two of you build each other up...

where you can see your whole future with them, just by looking into their eyes..

where you can’t see your life without them in it...

Is it too much to ask?

(6.10.18)

🐞

[sritaluna24]

Teacher mode

9 days and counting...

Winter break 😂

[sritaluna24]

Hiatus...

Sometimes I feel like I’m so close to reaching my goal... but it just brushes my fingertips... leaving desperation and failure on my tracks...

I tend to forget that desperation isn’t the person I see... it’s the feeling that accompanies incentive, it’s the fault to the strong point...

There is always a negative to the positive that can either tip the balance or keep it steady...

I need to remind myself, the negative comes with the positive... that the negative is not the only side to the coin... that I choose which side I want... which side I get... and which side I’m fighting for...

Failure isn’t a real thing... quitting is the real failure

🐞

(8.28.19)

[sritaluna24]

Survival skills

3 weeks into teacher mode...

1st day down of school....

I can do this, right? Right! 😂

[sritaluna24]

Day 04: song that calms me down Has to be yellow...I actually have plenty but this will get the spot light...

[sritaluna24]

Roots {Part 1}

I lay here on the floor and ask myself what is the root to this pain... to this hurt... why can’t I forgive you..?

He cheated on my mom with my cousin... someone I thought was my sister... my other half... he was sleeping with her and having a relationship with her for years...

One day... it all came cashing down...

It was like a bucket of ice was poured over me... I couldn’t believe... no way... impossible! No he wouldn’t... we... he... she... us... why???????????

Who knows the why... but then little things began to piece together... they began to make sense.. when before I was blind or unwilling to make sense of them all...

She would sleep in the same bed as me!

She would borrow my clothes!

She would hear my secrets!

She would tell me hers!

She... she... I loved her... how could they... how could they... to my mom.... she was a daughter to her...

It’s funny because I’ve always read... there is only one man who would never hurt you...

I bet there’s people out there who have been hurt worse then my petty little dilemma... but it doesn’t make it hurt an less... DECEPTION

I never understood his random out bursts of anger towards my mom...

I never understood his disinterest in us... until she was around...

I never understood his possessiveness over her...

I never understood his need for her to be with us everywhere...

I never understood the stares we got from our family...

I never understood his current need to be out of the state and show us new places when she was around...

I never understood their touchy games...

I never understood... I was so stupid and naive... I never understood ... how could I...

I never understood how you can have something right in front of you eyes yet not see it!!

🐞

-Peeling the Layers away (6.29.18)

[sritaluna24]

It’s sad that’s we’ve reached this point... it feels like there’s no turning back now...

SritaLuna🐞

[sritaluna24]

Heartbroken

You were the only person I thought wouldn’t break my heart...

And today all I can send you is a dang text message and I feel crappy... can you believe that?... crappy... and yet I don’t get a call from you... a message or anything... yet I feel crappy...

I do... and I still love you... dammit your my blood ... I am you... I am a part of you... as you are a part of me... I love you...

Happy Father’s Day... 💋

[sritaluna24]

Have you ever...

Have you ever felt suffocated... well that’s a strong word... have you ever felt the need to leave the house, the need to get out, but you don’t know where? The need to be somewhere anywhere but this exact place... yet you don’t want to interact with others...

(6.7.18)

🐞

[sritaluna24]

Ying Yang Emotions

Have you ever been with a group of friends... and you are looking at them smiling and you watch them laugh and you look happy and you are, to some extent, but...

yet you feel so far away? You feel as though you aren't with them....emotionally and mentally you are an outsider to the group... but you’re happy, yet you aren't... 

(6.5.18)

🐞