#squabbling like an old married couple

[anneowl2803]

My grandpa was 83 yesterday and today we’re going to have lunch with him 🕺and my uncle is coming with his wife and my cousins so it’s an extra special occasion.

He’s going to be so happy and he’s going to spend the entire lunch lamenting the fact that he’s old and that the end is near (cue for dramatic hand over his heart) but not before telling us how busy his and my grandma’s week was between meeting up with their friends in two different towns (he still drives) and taking care of their vegetable garden and animals. They’ve got chickens, rabbits, quails, two dogs and turtledoves.

Oh, and he’s going to tease my grandma for being old too. She hates it 😂 then they’ll show us how many likes their photo next to their fig trees got on Faceboook.

[kyurochurro]

💚💍💛 married zosan because IN MY HEAD. they end up married OKAY

[bardockarts]

meme posting once more. this is their dynamic. to me

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

CACKLING, I AM CACKLING

[thegreatyin]

TLDR; mr spices and mr wines (two masters of the bazaar- those evil robed monster guys that helped steal london away underground for Reasons™) are constantly bickering over who gets the domain of dreams.

like. constantly.

every master controls a specific part of trade in london- mr fires presides over coal and candles, mr pages has dibs on all things written and published, etc. in this particular case, mr spices controls drugs and, well, spices, while mr wines controls literally everything drinkable (sans water. it doesn't care for water.)

dreams in the fallen london universe come from a specific dimension found beyond mirrors, known simply as "parabola". you can access this dimension through a wide variety of ways, but the simplest and easiest method is via drinking a special type of honey. wines and spices both want sole dominion over this honey.

and thus they fight. A Lot. to the point where if one is mentioned in the same breath as the other, it is all but guaranteed that they will be at each other's throats. their insanely petty beef is honestly a running gag at this point. it's So Constant and So Unrelenting and they're such haters and while they've never been officially confirmed as divorced or even married in canon, it's like. They're So Incredibly Divorced, y'know??

also spices is one of the shortest masters while wines is among the tallest, so, you can imagine what the size difference fanartists have done with this information.

on the subject of explaining fallen london:

this image seems relevant.

[moonstruckme]

perhaps whimsical!reader x one of the marauders (you choose) who’s being made fun of but doesn’t realize it? And they defend you or talk to you or something?

Thanks for requesting <3

Remus Lupin x whimsical!reader ♡ 745 words

Remus watches as your eyes drift out the window beside his couch.

“I think you’d like it,” James continues, unaware that he’s lost your attention as he tells you about the shop he’d gone to with Mary the day before. “They’ve got incense and crystals, all that stuff.” 

When you don’t react, Remus nudges your leg with his. 

You look at him. “Hm?” 

“That does sound like someplace you’d like,” he tries to clue you in, “doesn’t it?” 

“Oh, yes.” You give James a breezy smile. He returns it with ease, not a lick of pique about him. “Thank you, James, I’ll have to go. Where is it?” 

James’ thick eyebrows come together. “You know, I’m not actually sure. Mary led the way there and I just sort of followed, but I want to say it was on fourth.” 

You nod, and Remus smiles at your obvious expertise on the matter. He doubts there’s a shop of that kind that you haven’t been to, but you’re humoring James just to be kind. “Right, there’s a string of them on fourth street. Maybe I can ask Mary sometime and see if—oh, the fawn is standing up!” 

You grab Remus’ hand excitedly, turning in your seat to get a better view out the window. Your eyes are very nearly heart-shaped as you coo over the baby deer wobbling to its feet a few yards from Remus’ home. “Oh my goodness, it’s so precious. Do you guys see it?” 

Remus shoots James an apologetic look, but his friend smiles and shrugs it off, coming to lean over the couch beside you. 

“It is really cute,” he agrees.

Sirius laughs. “You’ve really got yourself a goldfish, haven’t you Moony?” You don’t pay him any mind, but Remus regards him quizzically. “She can’t seem to talk to anyone for more than two seconds before she’s distracted by something shiny.” 

Now, you turn, your head tilting like a puppy’s. “It’s not shiny, Sirius, it’s a fawn. Do you want to come see?” 

“It’s a figure of speech, love.” 

“Pads.” Remus’ voice is hard. “Don’t.” 

Your brows pucker at your boyfriend’s tone. “Remus,” you sound almost hurt, “what’s wrong?” 

He wraps a protective hand around your thigh, but James speaks before he can. 

“It’s nothing,” he says cheerily. His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “They’re always squabbling like this, they’re like an old married couple. Best to do as I do and stay out of it.”

“Oh, please,” Sirius guffaws. “Like you’ve ever stayed out of anything in your life.” 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” James says. Remus relaxes as the beginnings of a bemused smile touches your lips. “I don’t partake in any such childish quarreling.” 

It’s only after his friends leave and Remus is cleaning up his kitchen from all the snacks they’d left strewn about, that he says quietly, “Don’t mind Sirius, dove. His sense of humor can be mean, but he wouldn’t tease you if he didn’t like you.” 

You pause sweeping up the floor, looking at him curiously. “What do you mean? I thought they were both really nice.” 

“They are,” he says, “but I just want to make sure you understand that when Sirius was making fun of you, he didn’t really mean anything by it.” 

“He was making fun of me?” 

Remus swears he feels his heart fall right out his ass. 

“Yes, sweetheart, but like I said, he was only teasing.” He gives you a small smile, but at your puzzled look, reluctantly clarifies, “You remember when he said you were a goldfish?” 

You nod. 

“That was it, dove. That was the joke.” 

“Oh.” You smile funnily, one side of your mouth quirking up more than the other. “Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I’d love to be a goldfish.” 

A little laugh startles out of Remus. “Really?” he asks.

You nod happily, resuming your sweeping. “They can see more colors than humans, did you know? And they’re really very pretty.” 

It’s all Remus can do to keep from crossing the kitchen to squish you in a hug. He’s grinning ear-to-ear. “Well,” he says, trying to match your serene tone, “then it suits you, dove.”

“I think so,” you say lightly. “You should be a goldfish too, Remus. Or actually, I think I see you more as a seahorse. We could both be seahorses, if you like.” 

“Don’t seahorses mate for life?” 

“Mhm. Suits us, don’t you think?”

[podcastenthusiast]

Imagine you're Crystal Palace and you get saved from your demon ex on the train by two people who at first actually look exactly like an old married couple, then it turns out they're teenage dead boys but they still act like that, then they squabble right in front of you about you being there and when they remember you're in the room they go into the closet together. Like how did she think Charles was single??

[wyervan]

DCA SLASHER AU: THE FIRST YAP

@furiouspersonakitten @r0tting-rat @stalkersamsrptumbler @g3nderbee ( yaaas @/crabsnpersimmons mention :D they’re an awesome artist) & hopefully this finds you well, dear anon, for I cannot @ you personally

Flabbergasted at the comments and questions I’ve gotten after posting my doodles over the past coupla months. I feel a special kind of silly when I see your guys’s responses 🫠.

I will do my best to explain the premise. Feel free to ask questions! Though there are things I’d like to keep close to the chest with specific story beats that I’ve got bouncing around in my head. Also sometimes I prefer to show instead of tell 🖼️.

light yapping and additional sketches under the cut. it’s probably not as much information as some of you might’ve hoped, but I’m an even slower writer than artist ☠️

🌞 🔪 🤡 🪓 🌜 🩸👾 🌞 🔪 🤡 🪓 🌜 🩸👾

New town, new life, and a new (used) car! You’ve even already gotten a new job within the first week of your move-in! Some small arcade in town was hiring and after a whirlwind of an interview, you started working there the very next day. Your new bosses are… a bit weird, but it’s kinda cool working in an arcade and it pays fair enough.

Okay, actually, they’re really weird. One of them is a high-energy neurotic neat freak and the other sleeps on the break room couch for a half of the day and is kind of a menace for the other half. At the very least it’s entertaining to watch them squabble like an old married couple. And they seem harmless…right?

Final Girl Y/N

they them pronouns, but comfortable with most gendered language

nicknamed Star by Sun and Moon (“one of us. one of Us!”)

new in town!

kinda punk (huge dork)

this is just my version of y/n who really is more like a fnaf oc within the AU. feel free to project your own idea of the character onto them and the story in general! I would love to see you guys’s Final Girls :3

Sun n Moon

not brothers, but have been almost inseparable since they met as children

coowners of the Superstar Arcade & Playplace, recently reopened after being closed for two decades

Ex-circus clown performers, they still occasionally do shows for children in the playplace on slow days

questionable after-hours activities

First thing I gotta lay down (cause this is a FNaF AU) is that Sun and Moon are not targeting children. In fact, many of the people they are targeting are those Sun and Moon judge to be harming children in some capacity. The situation… complicates further along, but this is the basis. Sun and Moon are driven to killing by their strong instinct to protect children.

Now their intentions may certainly sound pure and noble, but in practice and method they are decidedly… not.

FYI, this isn’t to say that dead children will not be present in this AU… this is a FNaF AU. Other characters from the FNaF lineup likely will make appearences in some form or another.

But Wyervan, if Sun and Moon only pick victims that are bad people, doesn’t that mean that Y/N is safe as long as they’re not a dick?

Ha ha. No :o)

🌞 🔪 🤡 🪓 🌜 🩸👾 🌞 🔪 🤡 🪓 🌜 🩸👾

thanks for tuning into station 106-point-yap. it takes me… a while to write these things…i might make small edits and will likely eventually put out a v2. I’m really challenging myself to work on this as a longer-form personal project. I think about these characters most of my waking hours and i want to salt them, toss them in oil, and bake them at 450.

[maeed2103]

Listen, I love seeing soft, yearning, bakudeku.

BUT…..

Guys, they are not gonna be that gentle with each other all the time, they’ve been friends(?) since childhood, Midoryia isn’t afraid to talk back to Bakugo, the two bicker like an old married couple.

Enough of the wholesome cuddling in bed asleep art where everything is perfect— those two would FIGHT for the blankets, limbs are thrown everywhere, Midoryia squirms so much trying to get to sleep bc he can’t turn his brain off, which in turn keeps Bakugo awake. If they try cuddling, Bakugo gets too warm and sweaty, Midoryia steals all the sheets and they always wake up tangled and discombobulated.

I also love the idea of Midoryia realizing bakugo has a deviated septum because the guy snores like a fog horn. This then leads to Bakugo finding out that it’s actually not normal to stop being able to breathe when eating or drinking (does not take this well)

I want to see more petty arguments, arguing over produce prices in the grocery store, Bakugo sending Midoryia to the grocery store with a specific list and pictures or else he gets overwhelmed with all the options in front of him (and bakugo is picky)

I wanna see how big their All Might memorabilia collection would look like when they move in and the arguments that would ensue when it came to organizing it all.

(Midoryia wanted chronological order while Bakugo thought they should do coolest to still cool but not as cool order)

All this to say, they’re friends first before anything else. They know too much about the other, they’ve memorized the others quirks and faults, knowing the others mood just by how they pour their coffee in the morning. They’re too strong willed, stubborn characters that would squabble over silly things but be gentle and understanding when life gets serious.

[zombieyvalia]

I hope every scene with Vox and Val in it is just them squabbling like an old married couple

[thinkdoctorriver]

"We're all gonna die right here

and you two are squabbling like an old married couple!"

[itsabouttimex2]

Quick question 🙋🙋🙋

This is gonna be about ur headcannons Whats the best ship ever (in your opinion) I like shadowpeach and spicynoods or dragonfruit

Goldendragon. I’m just… I adore the friends to lovers trope. Yeah, yeah, it’s a “boring straight ship” or whatever, but I love the “two healthy and evenly matched individuals are in a non-toxic and genuinely loving relationship” dynamic that is vanishingly rare in fandoms. The unending support? The constant physical affection? The raw, unfettered love?

I also ship Freenoodles! “Like an old married couple” is a trope I usually despise because it plays too far into the unhealthy end of things, but here it’s genuinely very well-balanced in a lovely way. They fight, they squabble, yes- but they also make up and move on quickly. It’s clear how much they love one another in both action and word. Also they literally raised MK together. Come on, now.

Alright, so hear me out-

I’m calling this Celestialchaos, I think. Xiangliu openly and outspokenly craves, wants, needs chaos. He’s sought it for what seems to be aeons. And what is Sun Wukong if not renowned and revered for the chaos he spreads? So positioning Xiangliu as an admirer who tries his best to enable the worst of Wukong’s trait (with roses and chocolates in hand) while the Monkey King tries his best not to succumb to that thrilling and wild call… because if he did, even if just for a day, the Great Sage could go back to what he was and live without his learned humanity and the guilt and sorrow it inspires in him. And when he breaks down afterwards and regrets what he’s done? Xiangliu is there to reassure him that he’s perfect, and encourage him to be worse.

I just think it’s a cool dynamic!

[lnights]

Hey! As someone who's only kinda recently started getting into Blind Channel, can you "introduce" the band members to me/tell me any fun facts? 😊

It's okay if not, I just feel like it's so fun hearing it from other fans than trying to dig it out myself LOL

Welcome friend 🖤

You're about to get an essay 😂 anyone please add in, this isn't an all inclusive list of everything about them.

Let's start with Joel - vocals (and guitar depending on if you're going back to the first couple albums)

Joel is the oldest member of the band at 30, has ADHD, has dealt with insomnia, talked about being bullied in highschool, handles the band's social media, has a wine and has made a lot of references to dating his hand 😂

He is one half of the (t)error twins with Joonas, such named by the other members of the band for their chaos and having the same birthday, one year apart. He has said more than once that Joonas is his closest friend and they're found hanging out a lot outside of the band, they have been called an old married couple, always squabbling (but with a lot of obvious brotherly love)

Joonas - guitar

Second half of the (t)error twins, sings backing vocals, has been photographed with his dick out on more than once occasion, has a naked painting of himself, he's (sometimes questionably) a fashionista, and is known to have a rather sensitive digestive system.

Joel met Joonas in highschool after their own bands ended and became friends, eventually decided to form their own band, Joonas had already been in a band with Olli and their now tour manager Santeri, and previously in one with Tommi. Joonas, Olli, and Tommi are childhood friends prior to highschool.

Niko - vocals

Niko went to the same highschool as the other founding members, but hung out with a different crowd. Joonas, Olli, and (maybe) Tommi were at a house party, Linkin Park’s In The End came on, Niko rapped Mike's parts and Joonas invited him to join him for the band’s first practice the next day. Joel picked him up, even though they hadn't met.

He plays and teaches piano, writes most of the band's lyrics (though there is collaboration), has a kitty named Rommi, has a long term girlfriend, Joonas lived with them for a while. He has a large band symbol on his side with roses for each of the band members (minus Aleksi, but he does have a matching tattoo with him)

Tommi - drums

Papa bear himself! Lot of bear references with him, he has the nickname nalle (teddy bear in Finnish) from the band. He used to drive the band around when they were still in vans rather than tour buses and his job in the band is to “have final say”.

There's a single brain cell in this band, and most of the time it seems like Tommi has it, but every once in a while he's as dumb (affectionate) as the rest of them. He and Olli are the only two still in the band's hometown and as far as we know he is the only member of the band without tattoos. And he's a nurse!

Olli - bass

Called the most beautiful member of the band by his bandmates and known to eye-fuck any camera that happens to be focused on him.

Or if you happen to be watching them live 😳 it's intense.

He used to have gauges. There are several photos and videos of him and Joonas just holding hands 🖤 (lots of love in this band)

He can come off as a bit of an airhead, the biggest example of this is his poor bass Simba (rip) that he left on top of a van at a gas station, didn't realize until they had left and was far far down the road. He did eventually get it back but it was destroyed.

He designed their newest stage outfits and even sewed the patches on himself. He used to work at a hospital transporting patients.

Aleksi - DJ/percussion

Newest member of the band and only non-original member.

Had/has a solo DJ career and career as a producer as Alex Mattson, and accidentally ignored Joel in 2016 when he reached out to talk about a collab.

He ended up meeting Joel and Joonas at a Bring Me the Horizon concert in November of 2016 (where they also met Joonas (Johnny) Parkkonen) and they cleared up the accident and became friends.

He collaborated with them and help with song writing/production before he officially joined the band in 2020

Baby of the band and a menace. He got his first tattoo with a couple members there to hold his hand, I think it was Joel and Niko, Joonas went with him to get his band tattoo.

He grew up around the music scene (his dad is a booking agent) and was a drummer in a band as a kid. He has a little dachshund named Rilla

Joel, Joonas, Niko, and Aleksi all have the band's symbol tattooed on them. Joel's is in his arm, Joonas has it in his hand, Niko on his side, and Aleksi near his wrist.

[jazzycarethnot]

Deadass came up with this in the middle of the night. Decided to post it this morning. Opinions? :3

(Narrator x Glitch! Reader, enemies to ???)

At first, Narrator hates you. He's curious, sure, but- ultimately- he just hates you.

To be fair, you're a glitch. You shouldn't exist. A mistake in the coding that he can't fix no matter how much editing he does.

Imagine your breakdown when you realized (and eventually got over) the fact that your life was a game and also a complete accident. Lol.

Plus the fact that Narrator is constantly trying to delete you. How fun. :D

Oh! And you make the biggest messes!

It's not like you intend to... Well, at least not the first time.

The second time was just to piss him off.

You two hate each other.

Eventually Stanley started up the game and you stood aside to watch for a few routes, to Narrator's relief and suspicion.

You got bored, tho, and started to interfere.

Stanley liked you!

Narrator despised you further.

Your squabbles grew in quantity. Stanley would mentally compare them to an old married couple.

During a particularly bad one, Narrator looked away from him for a second and that's all it took for Stanley to find a weak spot in the game and fall through.

Colossal freak out. Both of you.

Narrator couldn't get him- "human" (for lack of a better word) form, disembodied voice, or otherwise- so you two had to team together.

Not even begrudgingly at the time, you two were to focused on getting your wayward son.

Narrator told you what to expect on the other side and you glitched through.

It was really freaky outside of the map.

You eventually found Stanley though! :3

As soon as you brought him back, you two were nagging him just like the parents y'all basically were.

A developer came around to check the code after hearing of the incident.

Did Narrator hide your existence from them? Yes. So you wouldn't be deleted? No, of course not! It was only to save his pride! What type of expert game maker would mess up so bad as to make a glitch?! Surely not him!

Did you ever find out? Also no.

No reason to pointlessly stress you out, after all. He knows it's an anxiety of yours, you're so obvious with it (but he'll never approach you about it, no, absolutely not).

He doesn't care, though.

Right? Right

[sparklypinkflightsuit]

Stars Align: Part 8

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Warnings: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Violence, Mentions of Abuse, Angry Bradley, Swearing, Alcohol, Sexual Themes, Soppy and Emotional Scenes.

-- Part 7 Here --

-----------------------

18+ Only

-----------------------

Past:

''Would you hurry up? We're never going to get a good spot.'' Bradley groaned as he stood outside the guest bedroom while you got ready for your beach day.

''Okay okay, I'm ready.'' you said as you shuffled out of the bedroom, an oversized t-shirt draping over you like a blanket.

Bradley scrunched up his nose, ''How are you gonna catch any sun with that thing on?''

''I'll take it off when we get there.'' you said as you grabbed your beach bag and made your way down the stairs.

You opted to walk the short distance to the beach as the weather was perfect. Carole had given you one of her big sunhats and Bradley had fished out his dads old aviators. Together the pair of you looked like an old married couple, squabbling about stupid things jokingly as you walked.

Bradley slung his arm over your shoulder as the sound of the sea and happy vacationers became audible, and he sighed.

''One day when we're older and earning money, you're gonna live with me.''

''Why would I want to live with a gross boy?'' you teased.

''Because I'll be like super ripped and you won't be able to keep your hands off of me.'' Bradley winked, and you shoved him away with a groan.

''Yeah you wish.''

Little did you know everything Bradley had said would come true, eventually.

You found a little spot on the beach and put your things down, scanning the water for somewhere to swim.

Bradley bent over to remove his shoes, and as he stood back up you were in the process of taking the huge t-shirt off.

Bradley gulped loudly, your body was incredible. He wasn't sure when you really became a woman, but there was nothing left of that dorky teenager he'd helped years ago.

Your bikini was figure hugging and complimented every curve. Gabby had taught you a thing or two about dressing for confidence, and boy was she right, you felt much less awkward in your own skin suddenly.

You began to walk towards the water, ''You coming, Bradshaw?''

Bradley closed his mouth and nodded, ''Yeah...yup. Coming.''

As he followed you to the sea, he tried to keep his eyes on the water ahead, instead of on his best friend, who was really beginning to give him confused feelings.

He watched as you stepped into the sea, the waves lapping at your soft skin. You gasped as the cold water splashed your chest and hopped around as you adjusted, and Bradley's jaw hit the ground.

He suddenly couldn't hear or see anything but you, and he felt himself losing control over himself.

''Shit.'' he mumbled as he quickly sat down under the cold water.

''Wow that's brave, the waters freezing.'' you said, as the cold waves splashed up against Bradleys lowered form.

''Mhmm.'' he mumbled through gritted teeth. Sure, the water was cold and it wasn't a pleasant feeling being submerged so quickly, but it was doing wonders subduing something else.

He breathed as his erection went down, and waded deeper out into the water, following you as you finally submerged yourself.

You swam around and floated in the water for a while, enjoying the happy sounds of people splashing around, the smell of the sea and sunscreen filling your nostrils.

''It's so nice to be back.'' you sighed happily, looking back at the shore.

''It's nice to have you back. You have no idea how lame it's been without you.'' Bradley chuckled.

''You're so soppy all of a sudden, who even are you?'' you teased, and splashed Bradley in the face.

He looked at you in shock, ''How dare you?'' and splashed you back.

You laughed and lunged at Bradley, gripping his shoulders and trying to push him under the water, but you'd forgotten how tall he was, and he didn't even budge under your weight, instead your body landed against his, and he steadied you with his hands on your hips, your faces inches apart.

You flushed red and pushed away, swimming backwards as you glared at him playfully.

''Alright, I'm cold. Let's go get a tan.'' you instructed as you swam back to shore, your heart racing at how desperately you wanted to prolong the awkward little moment you'd just had.

''Okay, I'll... I'll be out in a minute.'' Bradley mumbled awkwardly, waiting yet again for the water to subdue his excitement.

_____________________________

Present:

You blinked rapidly, desperately hoping you were having a horrible nightmare and you'd wake up in the bungalow tucked safely under Bradleys strong arm.

Nat moved to your side and gripped your arm to steady you. Bradley had told her briefly about a bad ex and Nat was smart enough to recognise trauma when she saw it.

“Is it him?” She mumbled in your ear.

You nodded, as you forced some air into your lungs.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Jacob chuckled, his dazzling smile almost nonchalant as he edged closer. Alice grinned from behind him.

“Hope you don’t mind, Y/N, but a quick scour of your Facebook showed so many happy pictures of you two. I just figured… well, it might be nice to find him and reunite two old flames.” She smirked, a glint of revenge in her blue eyes.

“When I heard you’d left Fall River, it really hurt me…” Jacob stepped forward and took your hand, cupping it in his other.

You still couldn’t speak, for fear the tears would begin to fall and you’d look weak. You tried to put on what you thought was a brave face, but to everyone around you, you looked terrified, like a ghost of bad times past stood before you.

“I really thought that one day, eventually, you’d forgive our squabbles, and you’d come back to me. I mean, I called, I called so many times. And I came to your door but you were never home, but I just thought our love was stronger than all of that and you’d eventually wake up and see that too.” He sighed, his blue eyes crinkled as he grinned down at you, black hair slicked back perfectly as it always had been. Nothing about Jacob had changed in the last few years.

He was still the same devilishly handsome, darkly dangerous man as before.

You had somehow, inexplicably, been able to avoid him for the past few years despite the small size of the town. Jacob had changed schools after the breakup, but it didn’t stop the ferocious slander from the other teachers who sided with him.

You managed to memorise his very particular pattern. He shopped on certain days, at certain times, in certain stores. On Saturdays he went to the library for most of the day, so you knew it was safe to run your errands, and you mostly stuck to shopping in the evening when you were sure he was at home, sipping wine and tucked into a good book.

You felt immense relief when you left town, finally feeling a sense of freedom you hadn’t had in a long time, but suddenly you felt all of the sneaking around and moving was for nothing, and your body began to shake.

“Please leave.” You managed to squeak out.

“Leave? Do you realise how far I’ve come just to see you? The least you could do is have a drink with me, beautiful.” He cupped your cheek and your body locked up. A single tear slid from your eye as your nostrils filled with his musky cologne, all of the bad memories rushing back.

“Jacob I think you need to go, if you know what’s best for you.” Nat stepped forward.

“You called?” Hangman sang as he walked back into the room, Bradley following and both none the wiser.

“Not you, Jake. Him. It’s Birdy’s ex.” Nat scowled at Jacob. Hangman eyed up the newcomer and moseyed forward with his own face plastered in a cocky grin.

Bradley’s eyes finally landing on you and your shaking form, and man with his hands on you, his eyes went dark and his body tensed up.

“Well well well, I’m sorry ‘Jacob’. I’m afraid there’s only room for one Jake in this building… in this city even, and that’s me. I’ll be happy to escort you out.” Hangman drawled, taking the toothpick out of his mouth and flicking it dramatically to the floor.

Jacob let go of you and focused his scowl on Hangman, walking cooly up to him. “This is none of your business, kid. Maybe just stay out of it if you know what’s good for you.”

Suddenly, from just behind Jacob, Bradley cleared his throat. The two men were about the same height, but when Jacob turned to face him, Bradley seemed at least a head taller than him as he stood tall and angry with his fists clenched at his side and his jaw set.

“You’re Jacob?” Bradley ground out.

“That’s me, buddy. My girls been talking about me, I take it?” Jacob smirked over at you. But just as soon as he looked back, Bradley’s hand was wrapping around Jacob’s neck as he pushed him up against the nearest wall.

Jacob struggled as his neat hair came loose from its slicked back hold, huffing against the wall as his eyes scanned the room.

“I’m only going to tell you once to get the fuck out of here, if I catch you anywhere near her again, it will be me and every naval officer in this room you’ll have to contend with. Got it?” Bradley growled, his face red and a scowl etched deep into his features as his huge hand wrapped tighter around Jacobs neck.

The Hard Deck was now silent as everyone, including Penny, stood with bated breaths. Even Alice looked surprised.

Hangman, Bob, Javy, Mickey and Reuben stood in a half circle around Bradley and Jacob, ready to pounce at any sign of struggle. Nat stood at your side, her arm hooked around your waist just in case, as you stood watching in horror.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll go.” Jacob said, his shit eating grin still unfaltering as Bradley reluctantly let go of him.

Jacob smoothed his hair back and straightened his shirt and jacket, and Bradley followed him through the crowd towards the entrance.

The rest of the Daggers followed, and reluctantly your feet began to move too. You had to be sure he was really leaving.

Once out in the parking lot, a crowd beginning to gather at the door, Bradley stood with his huge arms crossed as he watched Jacob walk towards his rental car.

You breathed a shaky sigh of relief as you thought it was all over, but Jacob suddenly stopped, chuckled to himself, and then turned around.

“Actually, I always knew it would end like this. With me kind enough to give my girl another chance, but naturally the little whore has surrounded herself with more men than she can satisfy.” He spat, and it was enough to release Bradley’s rage.

Bradley surged forward across the gravel, “You fucker!” He growled, and his fist connected with Jacobs face.

Jacob stumbled back in surprise, touching his split lip and smirking at the blood on his fingers as Bradley stood over him.

“Stay the fuck away from her. She’s not your girl.” Bradley spat.

“You don’t know who you’ve fucked with. I’ll see you around.” And with that Jacob turned and climbed into his car.

Alice stood in the crowd and crossed her arms. Her plan had seriously backfired. All she wanted was for Jacob to take you away so she’d have another shot with Bradley, she hadn’t realised the full extent of the situation. Before anyone could pick a bone with her, she slunk off into the crowd and disappeared.

Bradley took a moment to breathe, his hands on his hips as he collected himself.

You stood behind him, hands still clasped over your mouth, shaking like a leaf. Bradley turned around and his angry face softened as soon as his eyes landed on you. Wordlessly he pulled you into him and held you, kissing the top of your head.

“Are you okay, Birdy?” He whispered into your hair.

You nodded, wrapping your arms tightly around him, “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m not... It’s nice to know so many people are fighting my corner, especially with you at the centre. I don’t feel so scared anymore.” You said as you looked up at him.

Bradley bent down and kissed you gently, his swollen hand threading through your hair.

You pulled back slightly, “What about the others? They’re gonna know.”

“I don’t care. I want them to know you’re all mine.” He said before his lips connected with yours again.

“I fucking knew it!” Nat chuckled from the entrance.

“Alright alright, let’s give them a moment.” Bob smiled, and everyone filtered back inside.

—————————

Past:

The summer had passed in a blur, and before you knew it, you were spending your final night in the Bradshaw household before you had to fly back the next morning.

The summer had been filled with perfect memories. Long days down at the beach, evening walks around the neighbourhood reminiscing about the good old days, lots of laughter at dinner times and movies in Bradley’s bed before you went to sleep.

Carole didn’t mind you spending time alone in each others rooms, provided you went to sleep in your own beds at night.

On the last night you finished watching The NeverEnding Story for the tenth time, a movie you and Bradley had loved when you were younger, and you said goodnight to him as you left for your bed.

Bradley sat in his bed for a long time after you left, contemplating how to sneak the letter he’d wrote you into your suitcase without you noticing. He’d been thinking about it all summer, and had decided he needed to tell you how he felt.

He wasn’t the best at using his words, so felt it better to write everything down, and hoped you’d be long gone by the time you read it, so that he wouldn’t implode into himself if you read it in front of him.

Once he was sure you must have fallen asleep, Bradley crawled out of bed and grabbed the letter from his desk drawer. His hands shook as he held it in his hands. Letting out a shaky breath, he snuck out of his room and padded quietly down the dark hallway.

He carefully opened your bedroom door, and he could hear your steady breathing. You were asleep. He snuck inside and crept towards your suitcase. He bent down and slowly unzipped the front pouch.

“Bradley?” Your soft voice hummed.

Bradley shot up and threw the letter on the floor, kicking it under the chest of drawers.

“Hey Birdy.” He whispered.

“What are you doing in here?”

He was quiet for a moment, but then he walked over to the bed and climbed in next to you.

“I just wanted sleep next to you one last time.” He whispered.

“Won’t your mom be mad?” You whispered back, turning on your side to face him, close enough to feel his breath on your face.

“She doesn’t need to know.” His heart was thudding against his chest.

“Okay, I’m glad you’re here. I always sleep better when you’re around.” You grinned.

You closed your eyes as Bradley stroked a strand of hair off of your face. You looked so beautiful, it would be so easy just to kiss you. But Bradley was terrified you’d reject him and he’d ruin the entire summer by making one wrong move.

Little did he know you were desperate to tangle your fingers in his hair and have your way with him too.

“Birdy?” Bradley’s hoarse voice mumbled.

“Hmmm?”

“I… uhm…” he trailed off, unsure of how to put what he wanted to say into actual words.

“What is it?” You hummed, your hand gently moving to lay flat against his chest. You could feel his heart thudding and you wiggled closer.

Bradley’s breathing caught in his throat, and suddenly he was overwhelmed by the fear of losing you.

“Nothing.”

“Okay.” You sighed, slowly turning over so your back faced him. You squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. You really thought he felt the same for a moment there, but you must have misread the room.

Bradley silently cursed himself. He knew the moment had passed to say anything, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t just enjoy having you there before you left again.

Edging closer, Bradley slipped a hand onto the dip of your waist, and lay his head on your pillow so he could rest his chin on your shoulder.

��Goodnight, Birdy.”

“Goodnight, Roo.”

—————————————

-- Final Part Here --

Note: I dunno about y'all, but this is who I imagine Jacob as:

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[sleepymccoy]

I just love the idea of Spock and McCoy being this old married couple, except they didn't actually get technically married they just live together whenever one or both of them isn't off in space. So plenty of people have no idea they're married.

On top of that they continue to squabble as a form of flirting so it's about impossible for strangers to clock them

The group chats at uni exploding because Ambassador Spock is here!!? He's having coffee with professor McCoy omg. Omg he's shouting 😮 omg is professor McCoy getting arrested 😢 they're walking away! I'm the balcony up and it looks like Spock is holding his hand, I think professor McCoy got arresteddddd! 😭 Does this mean class is cancelled tomorrow?

Spock, as a diplomat, gets a new assistant and one of her jobs is to memorise everyone at a party (based on Spock's summary cards) and feed Spock names. So when McCoy comes up and notices her frantically whispering in Spock's ear then saying "hello, Vice Admiral!" He just looks dead on at Spock

"did she just feed you my name?"

"I may have neglected to include some pertinent information to your card."

"why do you even have a card on me? Worried you'll forget my face?"

"so that my staff know who you are, beyond the context of your connection to me."

"connection?? Don't speak to me like that."

"Vice admiral, I think you are-"

"hey, Spock's staffer, please add to my card that the surgeon general McCoy hates being called vice admiral and Spock should know that by now. Thanks, darling. Ambassador, I'll see you later. Maybe."

Or them at some diplomatic meeting that requires a medical comment and McCoy just absolutely goes off about it. There's one other 'fleet person there who thought they'd heard that these two are dating but Spock doesn't seem at all embarrassed by McCoy's rant, and after a couple minutes starts tearing into McCoy's argument rather ferociously. Not the actions of a defensive boyfriend. It gets so intense they have to adjourn because the Ambassador and Surgeon General are both too angry to sit down.

Spock and McCoy have some genuinely wonderful sex in a cupboard during the adjournment. Somehow, they keep it under wraps and it doesn't further detail things. Neither backs off their opinion once their back in the room though, sex notwithstanding

Just. Not being clockable. I love it.