#spoken from the sol

[sol1nvictus]

I was reading random djs and suddenly came across a hidden gem of a manga (a BL that doesn't seem like a BL!) what Joy! how brilliant this discovery is!

I'm ecstatic about this. I've been reading it all night... I really can't put it down, but I'll have to because I planned on reading monochrome checkmate tonight x_x

[sol1nvictus]

@molqr look this could be m

[wileys-russo]

pass outs and paperwork II fresa putellas (oc) x solstråle engen (oc)

the people have spoken - a little fresa x sol fic set in the future after they’ve gotten together written by @girlgenius1111 and i for your enjoyment! pass outs and paperwork II fresa putellas (oc) x solstråle engen (oc)

“and you’re sure i have to do this?” sol sighed heavily, refusing to make a move from the passenger seat as mapi cut the engine off, having parked right outside the clinic. “sí mi sol, unless you would rather go back to the doctor and-” the norwegians seatbelt was undone and she practically flew from the car making mapi chuckle.

“can we get a coffee first? we should get a coffee first.” sol tried to run and was stopped in her tracks by the shorter spaniard in front of her. “no you have to fast you know this nena. i reminded you, ingrid reminded you and i know fresa reminded you. clinic first, coffee later, i will even buy you lunch after.” mapi patted her back, turning her around and lovingly pushing her forward toward the clinic.

“oh wait, my phone! i left my phone in the car mapi i have to go back and get it." sol scoffed again trying to turn back as mapi hummed knowing it was a lie, shaking her head and turning her back around, a slightly harsher shove forward this time.

sol couldn’t even take her time entering as the doors were of course automatic, opening by themselves the moment she was within a foot's distance, mapi’s hands on her shoulders still walking her forward despite their obvious height difference the defender was stronger than she seemed.

“vamos solstråle, that nurse there is cute eh? should we go talk to her?” mapi teased making sol roll her eyes, the norwegian's girlfriend not having noticed them come in yet as she sat typing away at the front desk.

“she’s not technically a registered nurse yet actually she-'' sol started, words dying in her mouth as fresa heard her voice and looked up, smiling in their direction as the older girl's knees buckled making mapi snort with amusement and mutter some sort of teasing remark under her breath.

“bon dia! i will not lie maría, i really did not think you would get her here." fresa grinned as the pair arrived in front of her, only three other people sat in the waiting room. “hey!” sol frowned as her girlfriend sent her a wink, reaching under the desk and grabbing out a clipboard with a new patient's form and a pen.

“fill this in then bring it back over and we’ll head back, don’t lie on it solstråle.” fresa warned, a perfectly manicured finger held up menacingly as her girlfriend's eyes rolled and she grabbed the clipboard, the younger girl blowing her a kiss and turning back to the monitor in front of her.

“dios mio you really see the alexia in her as she gets older don’t you? i thought it was bad when she was a niña but now she is so bossy, just like her hermana!” mapi tutted as the pair sat down in the waiting room, sol starting to fill in the new patient sheet with a hum.

“translate please.” the norwegian gave in with a defeated sigh after struggling through the first two questions, shifting the clipboard onto the defender's knee and handing her the pen.

it shocked her that mapi barely had to check anything with her, near flawlessly filling in all of her health details and only clarifying a few small things here and there when the defender wasn’t sure.

“acabado. now go give it to that cute bossy nurse!” mapi handed her back the clipboard with a smirk anna wink as sol shot her a dirty look. “yeah yeah she’s not a nurse, now hurry up i’m hungry!” mapi mocked, shooing for her to go, pulling out her phone as the girl stood.

“you’re hungry? i’m the one whose fasting! you ate two dinners last night!” the younger girl scoffed as the spaniard just impatiently waved her off toward the front desk.

“gracias amor!” fresa sang out, plucking the paper from the girl's grasp, setting it down in front of her and beginning to quickly type everything into their system to set her up with a clinic profile.

“you look very pretty today.” sol smiled charmingly, resting her chin on her fist as her girlfriend glanced up in amusement with a small smile.

“you look pretty everyday.” “you look prettier.” “you’re the prettiest.” “you look prettier than the prettiest so-”

“excuse me this is a work environment not a bar, be professional putellas no flirting with the patients!” fresa rolled her eyes as one of her coworkers, carmen, joined her, watching with a grin as sol's face flushed bright red in embarrassment and she quickly straightened up from where she’d been leaning against the front desk.

“ignore her cari. she is just joking, jealous and hopelessly lonely.” fresa teased her friend with a sarcastic pout who pulled a face back, the catalan sending her girlfriend a wink as she finished inputting her information into their system.

“vale. ready?” the younger girl pushed back out of her chair, swapping out with her coworker who sent sol a kind smile and took her seat at the monitor, fresa moving out from the front desk. “no.” the norwegian mumbled nervously under her breath, following slowly after her girlfriend as mapi joined them, the trio heading out of reception and toward the collection rooms down the hall.

“go into this one here. solstråle mi amor up on the bench and take your hoodie off por favor, mapi you sit down in that chair, and i will be just a minute." fresa slid open a door on the right and gestured inside. “oh and don’t touch anything maría, i mean it.” the youngest putellas warned seriously, closing the door again and leaving the pair alone.

“see! diablillo. so bossy, just like alexia.” mapi scoffed, though the norwegian kicked her gently as the older girl immediately reached out to grab a 3D model of a heart from the desk in front of her. “well she has a point.” sol chuckled as mapi huffed and crossed her arms, dropping the model back down on the desk. though seeing sol's face pale as she looked around at the posters and shrugged off her hoodie mapi sat up properly knowing she was needed now.

“hey. mi sol you will be fine nena, you are in the best hands possible you know fresa would never hurt you.” mapi promised softly, a hand settling on the younger girl's knee as she sat up on the bench with a shaky nod, chest tightening with anxiety as her left leg bounced lightly up and down.

the norwegian jumped suddenly as the door slid open again and closed with a small bang, her girlfriend returning with an armful of vials and a box of gloves, setting them down and messing about grabbing out a few more items from the drawers beneath.

“did you touch this? i said no touching, tonta! why do you have such big ears if you cannot use them to listen?” the brunette narrowed her eyes, smacking mapi on the shoulder and moving the 3D heart back where it came from as the older girl whined about abusing clients in the workplace making fresa roll her eyes.

“now cariño do you want me to explain exactly what i am doing as i go, or do you want me to go ahead and have the bocaza distract you?” fresa stopped right in front of her girlfriend, hands on her knees and a kind smile on her lips as she jerked her thumb toward the tattooed defender beside her.

mapi scoffing in offence at the nickname she muttered something under her breath, resisting the urge to sweep the youngest putellas’s legs out from beneath her.

“i don’t know.” sol answered quietly, fresa grabbing her hands where they nervously fidgeted in her lap. “okay. well first i am going to get this band and wrap it around your bicep, then i will pump it with air and that will feel strange but it is to cut off the blood flow so it is easier for me to find your vein.'' fresa explained softly, sol nodding in understanding.

“aquí bebé, fiddle with this but try to sit still, then we can get this done faster!” the younger girl messed around with the tie on the woven bracelet on her wrist.

sol knew it held a large amount of meaning to her girlfriend, given to fresa by her sister alba to help with her own nerves when she was much younger, the girls older sister now always replacing it with a new one she’d make when the strings would fray and fade.

managing to untie it fresa wasted no time tugging it off and slipping it onto her girlfriend's wrist, tying it back up with a smile and softly kissing the taller girls palm as mapi fake gagged, a loud smack echoing as again fresa’s hand collided this time with the back of her head.

“bocaza, distract her.” fresa ordered addressing mapi this time with a click of her fingers as she grabbed out the band. “no please? no manners? your hermana raised you better than this.” mapi tutted as fresa rolled her eyes. “stop feeding alexia’s delusions that she’s my mami, she is already too protective.” the girl huffed, grabbing her girlfriends arm and wrapping the band around before starting to pump the air which sure enough felt strange as sol grimaced.

“do you think when ale has kids they will call you tía or hermana?”

“maría, you are supposed to be distracting sol, not annoying me. or one of these needles might slip and fall into your leg, or maybe your forehead. ya sabes i am not trained in botox but…” fresa threatened as her girlfriend cracked a genuine smile and mapi’s jaw fell open in shock.

“if we were not in your place of work, diablillo…” mapi inhaled with a shake of her head, the younger spaniard smirking and sending her girlfriend a wink. “i can take you anyday león. i have before!'' fresa reminded as mapi’s face blushed red at the memory. “you cheated and i was drunk! that does not count.” the defender huffed.

“when barca won the champions league a few years ago we went to a big party afterwards with all the family and friends. mapi had a few too many shots and tried to lift leila onto her shoulders, she fell over and thought i pushed her and then tried to tackle me-” fresa recounted, sols eyes never leaving her face nodding along with the story.

“-but she missed and tackled a pot plant instead. then she tried again but tackled alexia because she could not see straight, and la tonta can show you the photo of the black eye which followed.” fresa finished, grinning at the melodic sound of her girlfriend's laugh. “that is not how it happened putellas!” mapi scoffed incredulously, shaking her head.

“i was minding my own business just trying to celebrate with the team. then i tried to hug your sister, diablillo stuck her leg out and tripped me over out of nowhere, and sent me flying into a table and i smacked my face on the corner." mapi’s hands flew around the room determined to defend her honour.

“not what happened.” fresa whispered to sol as mapi continued to rant and rave behind her. “has mapi told you about the time she and leila looked after me for the weekend when i was little?” fresa spoke up again as the norwegian shook her head.

“she tied us up and tortured us for two days!” mapis hands flung up into the air as sol grinned watching her neck and ears turn red with frustration. “i told you both i was in charge, you did not listen. you should be embarrassed, letting an eleven year old tie you both up.” fresa shook her head as mapi scoffed. “you tricked us! you pretended to be sad you were left behind and said you wanted to-”

“and done!” the norwegians eyes widened in shock at her girlfriend who interrupted. “what? already?” even mapi was stunned into silencing her stories, both girls wide eyed as fresa nodded.

“sí. i told you, i am the best!” fresa shrugged, unwrapping the pressure band and setting it down beside sol on the bench as she grabbed out a marker and started to fill in the labels on the eight vials of blood she’d taken while her girlfriend was distracted.

“you even got a lollipop because you were such a good girl.” fresa smiled smugly, holding out the jar to her girlfriend and relishing in the way the girl's entire face blushed beet red at her words and she hastily grabbed one.

with the norwegian the tall and tattooed individual she was everyone always assumed the dynamic between the pair would sway in her favour, which was occasionally true (when fresa allowed it), though really fresa enjoyed nothing more than watching how easily she could get the seemingly more dominant girl to crumble, knowing in reality most of the time she was anything but.

“wait, are those all from solstråle?” mapi asked wide eyed as fresa's head whipped around to glare at the defender, sol’s own eyes dropping to the vials of blood. “por qué preguntas eso, estúpido idiota!” fresa hissed, mapi’s mouth opening and closing trying to find an answer.

though their pending argument was cut off by a loud thud, sol having passed out and fallen to the floor collapsed in a heap, mapi dropping to her knees right away to lay her down properly as fresa let out a loud groan, burying her face in her hands.

“por el amor de dios! maría do you know how much extra paperwork i have to do now because she passed out? i had a near perfect patient record until this, and i just came off my probationary period!” fresa groaned dragging her hands down her face with a sigh.

“mi sol? sol? nena? solstråle?” mapi repeated, tapping gently at the norwegian’s cheeks with the back of her hand. “fresa make her wake up, i hate when she does this.” the girl demanded with a scowl.

“well whose fault is it that she passed out maría? you just had to point out the blood didn’t you? idiota!” fresa bit back and rolled her eyes at the spaniard’s panic, knowing well enough by now that this was a normal occurrence for her girlfriend any time she saw blood.

“this happens when she pulls on a hangnail too hard and see’s a drop of red, how are you not used to it by now mapi?” “well fresa i do not like my girlfriend’s hermanita looking lifeless on the ground in front of me, would you like to call ingrid and tell her what has happened?”

at those words fresa paled and dropped to her knees, admittedly quite terrified of her girlfriends older sister despite the fact ingrid had never really given her a reason to be, mumbling a quiet “no thank you.”

with a light touch to her cheek and soft encouraging murmur from the younger girl, sol was blinking her eyes open, a glazed over look finding its way onto her face as she recognized her girlfriend hovering above her.

“oh hi fres.” the norwegian mumbled, smile only growing when the girl above her smirked back. “hola dopey, did you have a nice nap?” the spaniard teased with a wink, tracing sols jaw with her thumb.

“sol! ay dios mio nena, you have to stop doing that.” mapi exhaled dramatically, clutching at her chest as if the poor girl had just attempted some life risking feat and not fainted at the sight of her own blood.

“you should not have pointed out the b-l-o-o-d and she would have been fine!” fresa snapped, though her touch remained gentle as she ran her thumb across sol’s cheek and forehead, tracing across the taller girls worry lines which she knew from past experiences helped to ground her again.

“i can spell.” sol interrupted. “i know you just spelled blood, i’m not stupid.” “of course not mi amor, maria is the only stupid one here. do you want another lollipop?”

“yes please!” sol replied excitedly, effectively distracted, though it meant she sat up much too fast. “uh oh.” the girl mumbled, head spinning at the sudden movement.

sol shut her eyes tightly, reaching out to grab on to the nearest stable object; that just happened to be mapi’s arm. with a sigh, the defender lowered the girl back down onto the ground mumbling something inaudible and encouragingly squeezing her shoulder.

though whatever was said seemed to reach fresa’s ears who smacked the footballer on the shoulder with an unimpressed glare before getting back up to her feet to finish labelling the vials, handing mapi the jar of lollipops as sol blinked groggily.

“i will be back. once she is a little more stable can you try to get her back up on that bench? legally i am not allowed to let her leave until her heart rate is normal and i test her blood sugar levels.” fresa sighed, collecting the vials and addressing mapi who nodded.

stepping out fresa made her way out back where only staff were permitted, bagging up the vials and slapping on the sticker of her girlfriends details, carefully placing it into the storage fridge and hurrying through to reception where carmen still sat typing.

“can you print me off an incident report please?” fresa asked quietly. “what? did you try to have sex with your girlfriend in one of the rooms and get caught?” the older girl teased as the younger girls ears burned red in humiliation. “carmen! cállate.” fresa hissed looking around to make sure no one heard as carmen rolled backward to grab the paperwork from the printer.

“relax chica i am only teasing. is everything okay?” the girl asked, much kinder this time handing fresa the stack of papers who nodded. “sí, está bien. solstrale is not good with blood, she took a look at her vials and passed out.” fresa sighed as carmen smiled.

“and you know to-” “monitor her heart rate, check her blood sugars, keep her till i am happy with the results?” fresa recounted in a somewhat questioning tone as carmen nodded happily. “perfecta.” the older girl praised filling fresa with pride as she nodded.

“oye fres? when you are done, take your break. go get some lunch with tu novia!” carmen informed as the spaniard frowned.

“are you sure? you started before me so you take your hour first?” fresa questioned as carmen waved her off. “oh sí, i just have to check with the manager…” she paused looking around for a second until her eyes fell down to her nametag on her scrubs.

“oh look, that is me! and i say it is fine, now go before i change my mind amiga.”

~

“sol will drive you home?” eli questioned as she parked outside the apartment building where her youngest daughters girlfriend lived. “sí mami, and i will be home before ten. gracias!” the girl leaned across the console to kiss her mamis cheek, unbuckling and stretching over to grab her bag from where it sat on the backseat.

“mija do not forget to tell her about family dinner on friday, i will make her favourite!” eli called after her youngest who frowned. “why do you always cook her favourite? you used to like me more than my girlfriend, eli.” the girl scoffed, paling instantly at the hardened look at the use of her mamis first name.

“lo siento mami, i will tell her.” fresa apologised quickly, waving goodbye again before using the key given to her by her sol and letting herself into the building.

stepping out of the elevator fresa barely knocked twice at the front door before it swung open, a squeal leaving the girls mouth as her feet were no longer touching the floor, her girlfriend tossing her over her shoulder.

“solstråle! put me down tonta, ya mismo!” fresa laughed hitting the taller girl on the back who ignored her, kicking the door closed and carrying her further into the apartment making a beeline for her bedroom.

“hi fresa!” ingrid called out with a small smile from the kitchen where she was making dinner, mapi out walking scout to burn off his extra energy since he’d been home alone all day.

“hola ingrid!” was all the girl could get out before sol made it to her room, dropping her girlfriend very ungracefully onto her bed and closing the door. “door open solstråle!” her sister yelled out in warning as sol groaned but opened it just ajar again.

“mi amor no i need a shower por favor i still have my scrubs on and-” but the catalans protests fell on deaf ears, her girlfriend flopping down on top of her without a care. “you can shower later.” the norwegian decided for her, hand patting her cheek lightly as she wriggled around to get comfortable.

“there is blood on them.” but at that she shot bolt upright, rolling off fresa who grinned and pushed herself off the bed. “hey no there isn’t!” sol scowled looking her girlfriend and her seemingly clean scrubs up and down and crossing her arms, fresa only sticking her tongue out and grabbing her bag off the floor, making a beeline for her girlfriends ensuite.

“do you have to do all of that?” the norwegian groaned, dragging herself into the bathroom as fresa made her way through her post shower skincare routine. “you already look pretty all the time babe, even without all this shit on your face.” the girl mumbled, hugging her shorter girlfriend from behind, hunched over and scowling.

“sí amor, quiero.” fresa chuckled, patting sols hands which rested on her stomach as the girl huffed, unwrapping herself and taking a seat on the lid of the toilet. “i am done anyway cariño, your turn!” fresa cheered as sol threw her head back with a loud groan, her girlfriend moving her legs apart so she could stand between them.

“no i don’t wan-” but before she could even finish her sentence sol grimaced and quickly closed her mouth, moisturiser already being smeared across her face as the older girl deflated with defeat, allowing fresa to do as she wanted.

though when finally fresa was done and sol was ready to pull her into bed, ingrid called that dinner was ready and her girlfriend was already up and headed out, the norwegian groaning and begrudgingly following after her to the table.

“no we don’t want to watch a movie, no we don’t want to play a game, no we don’t want to hang out with you both but great dinner so good so delicious one of your best thank you bye!” sol rambled out quickly once they’d all finished their food and fresa had of course insisted she help clean up, grabbing her girlfriends hand and practically hauling her back toward the bedroom, ignoring mapi’s teasing remarks yelled after them.

“finally!” sol exhaled, ever so carefully closing her door with the softest of clicks, waiting a moment and when ingrid didn’t yell for it to open again she let go of the handle.

“wait what? what are you doing?” sol frowned as fresa was knelt down rummaging through her backpack, not making herself comfortable in the middle of the bed like she normally would be, scout already curled up on the end waiting patiently.

“studying amor, i have a unit due at the end of the week!” fresa frowned as she pulled out a textbook, mumbling something to herself in spanish as she hunted for something else and sol groaned loudly, dramatically back flopping onto her bed. “nooo!”

“you should be studying too! your history paper, did you finish it?” the spaniard asked, standing up with an armful of school supplies and staring her girlfriend down who shook her head. “did you start it?” fresa asked, giving the taller girl a hardened look who scoffed. “yes! don’t give me that look putellas.”

“well then don’t lie to me engen. oh did you buy more lego?” fresa realised as she tried to clear some space on her girlfriends desk, noting a few new additions to the norweigans very large and very proud collection as the girl sprung to her feet eager to show them off. “yes! look i got the jaws set, and another succulent and then mapi finally found the add ons for my-” she fell silent seeing the amused smirk on the younger girls face.

“don’t laugh!” sol scowled, crossing her arms and glaring down at the shorter girl who placed her books down on the desk. “i am not laughing mi amor, it is muy adorable how much you love your little legos.” fresa grinned, hugging her and staring up at the stone faced norwegian, stretching up to peck her lips a few times.

“solstråle!” fresa yelped as once again she was picked up off her feet. “i told you to stop manhandling me!” the girl warned, her accent when she spoke english making her girlfriend grin as once more fresa was dropped on the bed, scout jumping off and making himself comfortable in his own bed in the corner.

“no no bebé i told you i need to-” but fresa sighed as her girlfriend again collapsed on top of her causing her to grunt. “you need to cuddle me.” the girl demanded tiredly, fresa wanting to argue but unable to stop the smile curling into her features at the sudden softer shift in sol when she was needy.

“you are such a big baby.” fresa teased, the two of them moving around for a second until both were comfortable, sol grabbing her girlfriends hand and moving it to tangle in her hair, fresa already knowing exactly what she wanted as the taller girl turned on the tv.

“can i pick? you will be asleep in ten minutes.” fresa chuckled knowingly, sol grumbling something in norwegian and refusing to give the remote up making her girlfriend roll her eyes, fingers messing about with her hair.

“another nature documentary?” “they’re interesting!” “sí, for old people.” “fresa!”

“bien. watch your stupid tree show!” fresa gave in with a sigh, admittedly far too comfortable using her girlfriend as a makeshift weighted blanket to be bothered to argue. “well i did go through a horrible experience today, this mean nurse stabbed me and made me pass out!” sol sighed, laughing as her girlfriend scoffed in offence and tried to push her off to no success at all.

“oh lo siento, poor bebé.” fresa pouted sarcastically and rolled her eyes, her feisty attitude part of what had solstråle so attracted to her in the first place. “mmm i think i need spanish kisses to make it better.” the girl grinned wolfishly, tapping her lips as fresa sighed deeply as if it was a chore, sol pinching her softly and shuffling up the bed a little.

“lucky you are cute sometimes engen.” “only sometimes?” “si, you are also very annoying amor.” “so charming putellas.”

“i love you.” sols features softened as she pushed herself up to hover over the younger girl a little whose hands moved from her hair to cup her face, perfectly manicured fingers tracing her jaw. “i love you.”

“i love you more.” “i love you most.” “i love you more than the most.” “i love you-”

“ay dios mio i have had to hear this all day! you two are disgusting give it a rest!”

[girlgenius1111]

alone.

i wrote this in maybe a half hour and it's very short but i was very in my feels so you get angsty sol as a result before the events of family line. sol struggles. there is change on the horizon, but she doesn't see it.

-----

It was the same every morning, the same every day. A quick knock would wake you, a second knock a few minutes later telling you it was time to get up. You’d throw on clothes that didn’t quite fit with Spain’s climate, tie your hair up in a bun, and go downstairs. 

Breakfast was always quiet, ever since the first few weeks, when Ingrid had tried to engage you in conversation and you rejected every attempt. She’d ask you a question that would remind you how little she knew about your life now. You’d snap back at her unintentionally, she’d get angry, and the table would fall quiet. Eventually, it just stayed quiet. 

You’d go to school, barely understand a word spoken to you. Scrape by with passable grades, most of the time. Go back to Ingrid’s house. Do your school work at the kitchen table, where she could keep an eye on you. Hide in your room until dinner. Hide in your room after dinner. Distract yourself with a mindless show, or more often, a nature documentary of some kind. Fall asleep, dream of lakes and forests and grass and mountains; things that could never be disappointed in you. 

You went through the motions. Step by step, day after day. Not really living, just existing. Not trying, either. 

You’d stop trying a long time ago. Long before Spain, before the small, bland extra bedroom you slept in. Before disappointed looks had begun to come from your sister. You’d stopped trying when you were still in Norway, still disappointing your parents. 

Back in Norway, you felt content being mostly invisible. Your parents ignoring you was better than being yelled at, though they still did that a fair amount.There was something about being here, though, in Spain that was just… different. 

Perhaps it was that part of you, little you, who still remembered Ingrid as someone who gave the best hugs and always knew how to make you smile. Little you hadn’t ever had much hope in her parents, but she’d had hope in Ingrid. That part of you clung to the idea that Ingrid could still make everything better, like she had when you were small. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t let go of that hope. 

It crushed you, time and time again, when Ingrid yelled at you, or frowned at a bad grade, or sent you to your room for being a few minutes past curfew, without even letting you explain why you’d been late [there’d been a turtle in the road on your walk from the climbing gym, and it had taken 5 minutes you didn’t have to make sure it got across safely]. When she’d sigh after another weekend passed, and you remained locked in your room. When she’d tell you to just try harder. At speaking Spanish, at making friends, at school. 

You didn’t have anything left to give. All of your energy was spent dragging yourself out of bed. Why couldn’t she see that? Growing up, it had felt like Ingrid had been the only one to see you. Now, though, she was just like everyone else. She saw what your parents saw, you decided. Someone who just wasn’t worth it. 

Ingrid had always loved you. Even when it was hard to believe that your parents did, Ingrid always told you she loved you. She hadn’t said it in a while, though. You hadn’t heard from your Mamma in weeks, the last text you’d gotten from your Pappa had been scolding you for spending too much money. [You’d bought Ingrid a birthday present, but he made you return it before you could give it to her]. 

Maybe you just weren’t someone who could be loved. You rolled onto your side, covering your ears to block out the sound of Ingrid’s loud laughter at something Mapi had said. Tears dripped off your face, and you wished you were 7 again, burying your face in your sister’s shoulder and knowing that as long as she had you, you’d be okay. That was back when she loved you, though. You were pretty sure she didn’t anymore. How could she? When all you did was screw up, who could love someone like you? 

You weren’t 7 anymore, you were 17, and you were all alone. In a house hundreds of miles away from home, with your sister who you felt like you barely knew anymore. All alone. You were beginning to think that was all you’d ever be. Alone. 

You didn’t know a lot of things, though. You didn’t know about the book shoved under Ingrid’s pillow, about troubled teens. You didn’t know that she’d stand in your doorway sometimes, just watching you sleep. Enjoying that, at least while resting, you didn’t frown. 

You didn’t know your Pappa picked up the phone often, but never called, feeling like he’d created a gap he wasn’t sure he could ever fix. Didn’t know that sometimes your Mamma slept in your bed, remembering the small child that had once smelled of syrup and brought her flowers from the garden. 

You didn’t know that Mapi stayed up late at night, duolingo open on her phone, hoping that maybe speaking a language you understood would make you feel more at home. 

You didn’t know that Ingrid loved you more than her heart could take, sometimes, and that she was just doing what she thought would work. She didn’t realize you didn’t need discipline, that you just needed a support system. 

Things would improve, but you didn’t know that. As you sobbed into your pillow, you were pretty sure you’d always feel like this; unloved and completely alone. 

[emiko-matsui]

Okay, I just need to get something out of the way when it comes to the Kipperlilly conversation nobody's brought up yet, which I think is insane. Almost all of The Bad Kids would be more powerful if they didn't have their tragedy porn tragic backstories.

First of all, this doesn't apply to Fig and Gorgug because if Fig wasn't Gorthalax's child she would be a lot like Kipperlilly and not the ruler of hell. I wouldn't say Gorgug has a tragic backstory, he's got a pretty normal growing up experience with ups and downs.

Let's start with her #1 nemesis, Riz Gukgak. She's so jealous that his dad was murdered and that gives him an advantage in the adventuring life. To be crude, no, it doesn't. What would give Riz an advantage in the adventuring life would be living with someone who has a direct contact to all the government's inner workings and conspiracies. Now that would be an advantage. That gives you connections and clues that no one else can get. This is not what happened. What happened was eating cereal with water for breakfast, what happened was not getting an opportunity at college, what happened was a 9 year old who stopped sleeping, what happened was not your secret agent dad giving you an advantage in the school conspiracy because he's dead. Otherwise he fucking would've.

And now Kipperlilly's new #1 nemesis, Kristen Applebees. She was ostracised from her religion for her sexuality, she achieved sainthood, and raised a dead god back to life. None of this would've happened if she hadn't been raised in The Harvestmen. No, it wouldn't, but what would have happened if Kristen had been straight? Disgusting thought, yes, I know, but let's talk about it. A Kristen who never left Helio behind would have so many more fucking advantages than the one with Cassandra has. If she had followed her birthright she would be the only chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods. Sol is the biggest god in Spyre and Helio is his son. Helio does not have a chosen one anymore because Kristen left. It's not a title that's just given out, it could only have been Kristen. You know what's an advantage? Being the chosen one of one of the world's most powerful gods, being a god's spoken favourite, and deified by all of that god's followers. Now that would be an unfair advantage. You know what's not an advantage? Being homeless at 14 and being at the mercy of your ex-girlfriend's uncle for housing, dying and having absolutely no one there for you so you're only option to survive is to trust your own abilities enough to raise yourself from the dead, and failing school because of biased teachers.

And what of Adaine Abernant? The Elven Oracle? Her tragedy porn tragic backstory is surviving an abusive home. Now I just have to imagine that Adaine would have it a lot easier than most students, an incredible amount of unfair advantages, if her old money parents paid for every wizard whim she wanted, kept her diplomatic immunity so she could do literally anything she wanted without consequences, and gave her a direct contact into the heart of the Fallinell government. Now that is what I would call an insane amount of unfair advantage. I would be furious at this rich kid who's never had to work for anything myself. This is not even close to the case. She's barely passing classes because she can't afford the material you're required, she goes to the guidance counsellor for panic attacks, and she's being hunted by her home government. I'd say that's about every single thing in her life working against her having it easy.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster. He's complicated since he is very privileged already. He gets 5000 gold a month just for existing. He's the captain of the Owlbears because he killed the previous one. He lives alone in a mansion. Yeah, that's pretty privileged. His parents are also so severely fucked up that if they hadn't been filthy rich they would've been absolutely horrible for him. If he had parents who unconditionally supported him and stayed with him through everything, then we could talk about perhaps the most powerful person in Elmville. In Solace possibly. The most feared pirate in history who single-handedly dismantled a monarchy and fights against armies on his own is at your beck and call, does whatever you ask him to, and loves you more than anything. The greatest swordswoman in the world, that bested the most feared pirate in the world, the daughter of one of the most influential elven families and immortal will do anything you ask her, loves you to bits, and would cheat any rules for you. To have that would just be insane. You can argue that Fabian already has unfair advantages because of his social status and inheritance. This is true, but this is also true within his own adventuring party. Now his parents aren't helping him with anything and are determined that he reach his legendary status on his own. Otherwise talk about a fucking advantage.

All this to say is that if Kipperlilly got all of The Bad Kids tragedy porn like she wanted she wouldn't have been better, but she would've made them better. There is an adventuring party out there in the multiverse that has a secret agent at their disposal, the only chosen one of a Sol religion, Bill Seacaster and Hallariel Lomenelda unprompted in their corner, and a seer with unending resources and diplomatic immunity. These would've been people you start a platform about adventuring not being fair for everyone because of. The people you went against was a homeless kid, a kid with an anxiety disorder, a trust fund kid, and someone with PTSD.

I've seen your posts about Kipperlilly being wrong for her validation, but right in the fact that The Bad Kids have been given larger plots and mysteries because of their families and circumstances and I don’t want to fucking see another one. When you make that I want you to think about the adventuring party they would've been without their backstories. The insanely powerful and privileged adventuring party that almost happened. Their life got made worse, not easier because their life could have been so fucking easy. Kipperlilly can take all the tragedy porn she wants and then maybe realise that that's not what makes the adventurer. That the reason she's mad at The Bad Kids is the only reason she can even tangentially compete with them.

[sol1nvictus]

i keep watching this one izuleo animatic set to Losstime Memory I am supposed to be workinf rn bruh

I dudkin love izuleo. for someone who isn't a KnightsP I sure do talk about Knights alot.. maybe too much

and I goddamn love Kagepro RAAAHHHH

[solxamber]

I love your writing so much sol🫶🫶🫶 and for this event I want Diasomnia,9,fluff.

"The only thing more incredible than your smile, is when you smile at me"

Thanks in advance :)))

Gimme a Smile || Sebek Zigvolt

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "The only thing more incredible than your smile, is when you smile at me" ; Genre: Fluff

a/n: thank you so much 🫂🫂

Sebek is not someone who smiled often. At least, not when anyone else was looking. His usual expression leaned more toward sternness, exasperation, or a surprising intensity that could scare off most people. But today, for once, you caught him completely off guard.

He had been helping you carry books back to the library—an unintended favor that resulted from his insistence on "assisting the weak." You’d smiled at his grumbling but hadn’t protested. Any excuse to spend time with Sebek was fine by you.

“You’re taking far too long,” Sebek muttered, walking a pace ahead of you, arms stacked high with books. “How can you hope to improve if you don’t even carry these yourself?”

“Why would I need to carry them when I have such a strong knight here to help me?” you teased, grinning when you saw the tips of his ears turn pink.

“Knight—?!” Sebek sputtered, nearly dropping the books in his hands. He cleared his throat, hurrying to cover his flustered reaction. “H-hmph. I am merely ensuring efficiency! If I left you to this task alone, we’d be here until the sun set!”

You bit back a laugh, watching as he carefully placed the books on the library counter. Even in his sternness, Sebek had a strange charm about him. His dedication, his drive, his intensity—it all made him, well... him.

As he turned back to you, still fussing about your supposed lack of diligence, you couldn’t help but smile warmly at him. Sebek froze mid-sentence, caught off guard by the softness in your expression.

“What?” he demanded, his voice quieter now, the usual sharp edge missing.

You stepped closer, the teasing tone in your voice replaced by something gentler. “The only thing more incredible than your smile,” you said, “is when you smile at me.”

Sebek blinked, completely dumbfounded. For a moment, he looked at you like you’d just spoken in a foreign language.

“Wha—? My—?!” His cheeks flared a brilliant red, his usual confidence slipping away. “You—! That’s—! What nonsense are you spouting?!”

You laughed, leaning in slightly. “It’s not nonsense. You should smile more often, Sebek. It looks good on you.”

“I-I don’t—!” He tried to retort, but the words got caught in his throat. His hands fidgeted at his sides as he avoided your gaze. But then, for just a moment, you saw the tiniest upturn of his lips—barely a smile, but it was there.

“There it is,” you said softly, your heart fluttering.

Sebek let out a dramatic sigh, his blush still raging. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re adorable,” you shot back, grinning.

Sebek groaned, shaking his head. But even as he turned away, complaining about humans being insufferable, you noticed the small smile lingering on his face. And you couldn’t help but feel proud that you had been the one to put it there.

Masterlist

[vexing-imogen]

Now that Critical Role has dropped an entire album, and not just an EP, I thought I’d do a short & sweet review. Nothing crazy, no ratings or anything, just for fun

Overall Impressions: it’s a fun, if incredibly niche, holiday album. They know their audience, and they’re playing directly to them. I feel like they struck a good balance between parodies and original compositions. I love that each cast member got their own song, even those that may not be as confident in their singing. The ballads really stand out, and end up being 3 of my top 4 songs

Track 1: Winter’s Crest Welcome (spoken word by Matt Mercer): a nice little intro/lore dump. I think it’s cool that Winter’s Crest is going international (likely thanks to Taste of Tal’Dorei lbr)

Track 2: Winter’s Crest Festival Time (Matt Mercer as Pumat Sol): when I tell you this song has been in my head for weeks. Fun and catchy and a little silly. Matt sounds great even in a goofy character voice. The bridge where he’s in (I think) four part harmony with himself? Wild

Track 3: Silent Mind (Laura Bailey as Imogen Temult): my favorite song off the album, to the surprise of absolutely no one. I knew Laura could sing, but goddamn. Chills

Track 4: Naughty & Nice (Sam Riegel as Scanlan Shorthalt): Sam has such a great voice for a jazzy, sexy song like this. And they really nailed the vibe, I knew it was a Scanlan song immediately

Track 5: Nothin’ Under the Tree (Taliesin Jaffe as Ashton Greymoore): this song rocks, pun fully intended. I never knew I needed a Christmas song I could headbang to until now. And Taliesin sounds fantastic. I fucking love it

Track 6: O Mighty Nein (Liam O’Brien as Caleb Widogast): oh, Liam, my heart. This song is so sweet and beautiful, and I was almost in tears by the end

Track 7: Twelve Days of Grogmas (Travis Willingham as Grog, feat. Ashley Johnson as Pike): it’s fun, it’s stupid, it’s catchy as hell. Another earworm that’s been in my head since it dropped. It is so perfectly Grog, and Pike’s little asides are the icing on the cake

Track 8: Cold Inside (Marisha Ray as Laudna, feat. Matt Mercer as Pate, Sam Riegel as FCG, Travis Willingham as Chetney, and Laura Bailey as Imogen): knowing that Marisha is likely the cast member that is least confident in their singing abilities, I’m so glad she did this song. Laudna is the perfect vehicle too, her character voice is more distinct than Keyleth or Beau, and she has a flair for the dramatic that Marisha can really lean into without worrying about how she sounds. For a song that people were advertising as an Imodna song, I wasn’t expecting it to be so funny. I think my favorite bit was the deadpan “I think that’s just arson, Chetney”. And then Imogen coming in at the end, you can just hear the eye roll and the fond smile

Track 9: Winter Anymore (Ashley Johnson as Yasha Nydoorin): this song is so achingly tender and yearning. Ashley has such a gorgeous voice, I’m in awe. I was initially unsure if she was singing as Yasha or Pike, but I love that the lyrics could apply to both. I love that despite the overall sadness of the song, there’s still an air of hope

Track 10: Deck the Bear (Liam O’Brien as Vax’ildan and Laura Bailey as Vex’ahlia, feat. the rest of the cast as Vox Machina and Matt Mercer as Trinket): another silly, goofy one, though admittedly this one is my least favorite from the album. I do like the ensemble song, and Matt’s bear noises are incredible as always (will he ever feature in a song not in a character voice? spoiler alert: yes lol)

Track 11: It’s Critmas (Critical Role cast as themselves): yet another earworm. This was tied with Silent Mind for my favorite song from the EP, and it’s still definitively in the top 4. Again, I love the ensemble, and everyone getting their moment. It’s catchy, it’s fun. It’s Critmas

[sol1nvictus]

this was super cute, nya ^3^

hey guys there's this really cute personality quiz here and i think it'd be a fun chain game :)

@kadethecat @biocrafthero @littlest-bugz @the-hydra-sys @anyone else who sees this!!

[minkdelovely]

catharsis

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“we are more

than our disguises,

we are more

than just the pain.”

Alastor x Lucifer ; RadioApple ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: angst (w/a happy ending), established relationship, hurt/comfort, crying, mentions/allusions of abuse, mentions of death from illness, sexual content (biting, blood/blood play, kissing, palming)

word count: 2.5k

author’s note: guess who’s writing angst again?? this kinda hit me out of nowhere, but is fully inspired by @sunlit-mess / SOL 1 x 1 (on twitter) recent works (linked HERE and HERE) with alastor seeking luci’s comfort. seeing these back-to-back just set something off in my mind and i couldn’t rest until it was out. a special thanks and shoutout to our darling @fraugwinska for helping me get a title on this baby — without her y’all would have been reading ‘untitled’ 😂💖 quote is from twin flame by weyes blood. without further ado, buckle up and dive in; i hope you enjoy 😌 (also posted on my ao3 if that’s your preference)

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It was surprising, even to himself.

Alastor couldn’t recall the last time he had cried, much less in front of a witness. Composure and a display of strength were hard-won attributes he had built upon himself. Each unpleasant memory in his mind was a brick in his fortification; the tears he denied himself to shed the mortar between them.

He hadn’t always followed his own code of conduct and taken the ugliness of life on the chin. Before he had found his own strength, he could admit to being swayed by the will of others. Alastor found words to be harsher than the switch and was more than familiar with the sting of both. Though the switch was a boy’s punishment… A closed fist was more suitable for raising a man.

Or so his father had thought.

Mama’s boy… Just my luck. I got me a mama’s boy... C’mere you little pansy!

The repulsion in his father’s words hadn’t lost any of its potency, even after all this time. Alastor recalled them with more clarity than the face of the man they came from, which only served to plunge him further in his despair. Hadn’t he proven his resilience? Not only in body, but in mind and spirit? Perhaps not as much as he thought, with the way he was sobbing. If his father could see him now — bereft of stoicism and drenched in tears, drool, and mucus — he’d have been absolutely disgusted. Alastor loathed how much that bothered him. The fear of inadequacy lurching in his gut like a bad tonic.

Hot, angry tears flowed down the streaks that shame had carved on his face. Not that Lucifer would be able tell the difference with the way Alastor had burrowed into his chest. It was merely a fresh bout for the candy-striped vest to soak up. The saline fabric was beginning to chafe Alastor’s face, but he didn’t feel ready to surface; arms tightening around his lover’s waist as his hands gripped Lucifer with a desperation he assumed was buried long ago with his innocence.

Stop hidin’ behind your mama and come take your whoopin’ like a man!

Alastor choked on another sob and gasped for breath, heaving in Lucifer’s arms as the angel held him firmly. Gloved hands petting red hair and anguished, downcast ears. Hushed words of comfort spoken into the crown of Alastor’s head to soothe in tandem as they both shook from the force of the demon’s sorrow.

“I’ve got you. Shh, honey, I’ve got you.”

So much love conveyed in so few words. Alastor still grappled with accepting it. Evidenced by more tears fighting their way through his clenched eyes and a muffled, heart-wrenching cry into Lucifer’s chest. The pain of it went straight through the King’s heart as he pressed a firm kiss to Alastor’s head, feeling the distress on his face as he did so. How he wished to unburden the demon of his suffering. More than anyone, Lucifer could understand what it was like to be wracked with such melancholy.

If only Alastor could remember what had set him off, if he had, in fact, been triggered at all. He had just woken up this morning feeling low. Why was he dwelling so much on things that were better left to the past? Unbeknownst to either of them, they were sharing the same thought. And both knew that dwelling on things that couldn’t be changed did nothing other than inflict harm. Must they be plagued by the ignorance and rejection of their fathers for eternity? The cost of the scorn they’d endured seemed to grow ever higher some days.

That was one of the first things they had bonded over, sharing self-deprecating laughter to hide from their aching wounds. When love is built on a foundation of hurt, it’s only a matter of time before the walls crumble. Most times they were Lucifer’s, and sad as it was, it felt much easier to navigate. The angel was much more comfortable wearing his feelings, after all, and he’d had millennia of experience weathering his storms. Alastor was no stranger to being the shoulder to cry on. If anything, it came to him too naturally; a trait he couldn’t be sure was born in him or a side-effect of the wall he had built.

When Alastor buckled under the weight of his grief, it was devastating. He repressed himself for such long bouts of time that the force of his woe had the impact of an avalanche. Sadness, anger, shame, and regret cascading through his lithe frame until he was utterly hollowed out. Lucifer’s task of mending him was only beginning, he knew. It would be days before Alastor returned to himself, but he was more than willing to put in the work. Stitching his love back together with his needle of assurance and thread of devotion.

It was impossible to tell how long they spent this way. Alastor kneeling on the floor between Lucifer’s legs, knees sore and body aching, face still smothered in the drenched clothes donning the angel’s chest. Lucifer on the sofa in their bedroom, comforting the demon with every ounce of strength he could muster.

Until finally the tears stopped, replaced with uneven, sometimes stuttering breaths and hiccups. And soon enough those were gone too. Lucifer’s right hand rubbing Alastor’s back as his left cradled Alastor’s head. Before long, the demon was stirring. Sniffling a bit as he nuzzled his face into the mess of fluids he had left on the King’s vest and shirt. Lucifer didn’t mind, knowing that he could have it all gone with a snap of his fingers, but it wouldn’t do any good for Alastor to try wiping his face on his clothes in the state they were in.

“Let me clean your face, love. You’ll get a rash if you stay there,” Lucifer chided softly, manifesting a warm, damp handkerchief as he bent down to kiss Alastor's forehead for good measure.

It wasn’t a very convincing threat, both of them knowing that if Alastor did suffer a rash Lucifer would heal it in an instant. But Alastor conceded, and gingerly peeled himself away from the safety of the angel’s chest. His poor face was raw from tears, eyelids chapped red with irritation; dried salt crusted his cheeks like the vestiges of sea foam on the shore.

Alastor knew he looked awful. He could see himself reflected in Lucifer’s eyes proving as much. Every bit of moisture his body had was soaked into Lucifer’s chest, and he could feel the headache promised by dehydration blooming in his forehead. He was wrung out and exhausted but nearly began crying again, too moved by the tender act as Lucifer gently wiped his face. His Sire hushed him, voice calm and gaze full of adoration. Not even bothering to clean himself up before ensuring that Alastor was taken care of first.

The swell of affection Alastor felt in that moment was overwhelming, and he swallowed thickly as he closed his eyes, succumbing to the comfort of his lover’s hands tending to him. His father’s cruel words fading into darkness with every soft swipe of the warm cloth.

You’ll find someone special someday, mon amour.

Alastor was grateful for his mother’s memory, and wondered — not for the first time — what she would think of Lucifer. She had been a God-fearing woman, after all. A fear that she did not pass down to her son, choice of partner aside. He had turned his back on God long before his eyes had set their sight on the fallen angel. If she could see him from Heaven, he hoped that she would be happy. The Devil wasn’t all he was made out to be, if the way he cherished Alastor wasn’t proof enough.

His mother never pestered him about settling down, but worried for him deeply when they realized that she was sick and wouldn’t be getting better. Alastor was self-sufficient by then, with a year of working at the local radio station under his belt. Not that he didn’t take her concern to heart. If anything, when it came to her, he took things all too seriously. He wasn’t weighed down by the need for partnership or marriage, especially not when his career still had traction to gain. Alastor would try to tell her as much, assure her that she had nothing to worry about, and they would drop the subject and speak of other things. But he never left the sanatorium without receiving her prayers; his large, warm hands looking almost comical in her frail, cold grasp. Her hold on him was as fervent as the words and wishes she spoke to someone Alastor knew wasn’t listening. Though that didn’t make the act any less sincere or appreciated.

It was a brand of care Alastor thought he would never know again after his mother finally succumbed to her illness. The near-decade that passed after this had only cemented that fact. He didn’t seek companionship nor did he deny it when the mood struck. But beyond his small circle of friends, Alastor was content with his solitary life. Besides, a partner or spouse would have only made his nighttime affairs much harder to juggle — if not damn near impossible — and having the reputation of an elusive bachelor only helped with his fan base when it came to his radio segment.

It wasn’t until Lucifer had broken through his defenses that Alastor understood how he had barricaded himself from the world. And that he wanted support and comfort and understanding more than he cared to admit.

There are things you need that you can’t take care of on your own.

Basked in the warmth of Lucifer’s affection and his mother’s memory, Alastor hummed and opened his eyes, a tired smile curling his lips. Lucifer smiled back at him, expression benevolent and soft as his hands found their way back into Alastor’s hair to resume their petting. And grateful as he was, Alastor couldn’t ignore that Lucifer had yet to address the mess setting into his clothes. He fought against the pain as he uncurled his fingers, stiff from the grip on Lucifer’s waist, and silently began unbuttoning the candy-striped vest he had come to adore as the angel’s signature.

“Hey, you don’t have to —”

Alastor stopped him with a kiss, his fingers continuing their work as Lucifer sighed against his lips. The tension in both their bodies deflating as they shared hungry pecks and inhaled each other’s breath. All the while, Alastor’s hands remained busy with the undoing of buttons. First on the vest, then on the white shirt beneath it. Each open button providing relief like the snapping of a taut string.

Perhaps it was the musician in Alastor subconsciously rising to the task, but Lucifer would never cease to be caught flat-footed by the demon’s impeccable timing. How Alastor’s fingers managed to perfectly sync with his kisses was a feat Lucifer could only describe as divine. As if the acts were always meant to be one, never separate. It made the golden blood in his body turn molten; roiling through his veins as he sighed and chased every touch with relish. He was not often given these affections without needing to ask, whether with a look or an outright plea. Games that Lucifer was content to play, knowing that anticipation and a good tease left them both more than satiated.

With the collar of Lucifer’s shirt loosened, Alastor straightened his back and bent his neck to suckle and kiss down the angel’s pristine throat. The demon took his time with this, hoping to convey his gratitude and desire with every press of his lips against the milky skin beneath them. When Alastor made it to the junction between neck and shoulder, he was unable to resist the urge to sink his teeth in; the flesh yielding to his fangs like a ripened peach, and the nectar that soon coated his tongue was a gift in itself.

Lucifer hissed through the bite, hips jerking in space between them as Alastor groaned and languidly sucked and licked the blood rising from the wound. With his hands free from buttons, Alastor let them explore. How he adored the feeling of Lucifer’s small frame beneath them. Endlessly fascinated by the twitches and sounds he could elicit from the angel with little more than the slightest drag of his claws against sensitive skin.

Alastor released himself from Lucifer’s neck with a salacious pop and licked his lips for good measure. The whine that escaped Lucifer from the action had Alastor’s ears and groin at attention. The low creaking sound of antlers branching out mingled with their shallow breath. Alastor’s crimson eyes drank in the almost bashful look on Lucifer’s face, accented by a golden flush that made his abdomen tight with hunger.

How lucky he was, truly.

The silver lining of Lucifer’s descent was heavily in Alastor’s favor. Had Lucifer remained God’s favorite, he’d be in Heaven — a place Alastor had never planned to be. In truth, he never intended to be in Hell either, which is where luck came into play. He wasn’t destined for mortal companionship, but for something transcendent. Not a god to worship, but a sin. A king.

An angel.

“I’m unworthy of your benevolence,” Alastor lamented, desperately kissing and kneading the supple skin of Lucifer’s chest. “But I’m devoted to you, always.”

It was a sentiment he had expressed before, feeling much like Mary Magdalene washing Jesus’ feet with her tears. But it made Lucifer’s heart jump all the same; its rapid beat calling to Alastor like a siren from under skin and bone as his teeth latched to Lucifer’s breast. Their pleasured moans harmonized as Lucifer cupped the back of Alastor's head, encouraging him to continue with a whisper of his name. Alastor happily obliged. Tongue lapping at the pert nipple, hot and fervent, as his mouth and teeth provided a deliciously sharp suction, drawing out the ambrosia in Lucifer’s veins.

Lucifer struggled to remain cognisant, lost and overwhelmed as Alastor’s mouth peppered a trail of kisses from right to left. Alastor shifted slightly between Lucifer’s legs as teeth sunk into the top of his left pectoral just as Alastor’s left hand palmed his groin. The wanton cry that echoed off the walls of their bedroom only served to make Alastor desperate for more. Eagerly succumbing to his need to worship the angel, the agony he had suffered earlier behind him but not forgotten.

An offering of gratitude and declaration of fidelity in a language they shared when words failed. When adoration was beyond articulation and the only thing strong enough to quell their aching hearts was propinquity. The evening had started with Alastor falling apart in Lucifer’s lap… but it would end with Lucifer falling apart in Alastor’s hands.

And they would wake in the morning with tangled hair in wrinkled sheets. Sharing hushed jokes and lazy kisses as the early morning sun colored their room in a hazy, pink glow.

Healing each other one day at a time.

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tag list: @fairyv-ice, @wat4r, @midorichoco, @raynerrold, @krak-jj, @tremendoushearttaco, @redfoxwritesstuff, @chibistar45, @kaylopolis, @cutiebimbo, @lousypotatoes, @rfox1998, @cosmiccandydreamer, @hyperfixations-keep-me-going, @cherry-cola-100, @wonderlandangelsposts, @catticora, @velvette3, @sailorsmouth, @reath-solia, @junieshohoho, @cxrsedwxrlds, @littlebluefishtail, @hazelfoureyes, @sugoi-writes, @nxcxllxsevens, @swagkittybear

[soldearestsoulmate]

Warnings: Implied nonconsensual acts towards the reader, abuse, abusive relationship, kidnapping, and yandere stuff of nature. Proceed with caution.

Sol x GN!Reader

You hear the sound of the door unlocking to your room...You don't bother to look to see who it is. You know who it is, it's always the same now. It's always him.

Casually he walks in, he sets some things down on the table, checks his phone. A ritual of his now. Then like always, grabs something from the bag, a bouquet of flowers. Bright colors to grace the room, but none compare to your beauty he feels.

He walks over to you, repeats the same questions. Same lines "Have you been good while I was away, pumpkin? Of course you were. I know you were. You're so good, so well behaved. Heh...You're beautiful. I love you so much."

He touches your face, before you used to flinch at his touch, even move or fight away. Now you don't move away from it or even towards it as he wishes and hopes. You just accept it. Let it happen, until its over.

He shows off the flowers he got for you, a gift, then brings them in close for you to smell...Some you instantly recognize...Some are known to help calm one down...Relax them...

He sets them by your bed side, to look at, to let them do their job...As if its even needed now though.

Then he does what he always does...He checks your restraints. Not too tight, not too lose. No signs of tempering, no signs of unlocking. They are perfect. As it should be.

"I was thinking of making something nice again for our special date tonight. I'm sure you'll love what I have planned. A nice dinner, some wine, maybe soothing music..." He goes on about the plan, the fantasy he wants to make reality.

You try to power through it, to not let it bother you, but you know what comes after every special date now...What happens after the meal is finished. There's no romance involved, no love, or what a normal person would call love.

It's just a sick desire, obsession of his put into play...And you're his obsession...His sick twisted desire...

"--you'll love all of that won't you, pumpk--" So stops talking, as he notices the tears falling from your eyes. You haven't moved, haven't spoken, but yet your tears fall. "Oh pumpkin...It's alright. I'm right here now." He wraps his arms around you, holding you close, comforting you. He takes in your scent, your warmth, it drives him crazy but he tries to contain himself, for now... "You're safe now. Your husband is here again to always love and protect you. Now and forever, my love."

You wish this nightmare would stop.

You wish you would wake up already and be free from this all.

But there's no waking up from this nightmare.

No freedom for you now.

This is your home now.

This is your life...

For now and forever, with your beloved husband Sol...

[voxmilia]

The difference between helio and logran soulforger kills me.

helio's chosen asks him an existential question and he waves her away

one of logran's clerics, not even his chosen just ONE of his clerics, calls him out for his silence and he looks her dead in the eye and says "I'm sorry, you deserve to be spoken to."

when helio's chosen strays from the path to forge one of her own, helio himself doesn't even seek her out - it's sol and galicaea who have to talk to kristen. helio himself never makes amends for his part in his chosen turning from his light on his own, without prompting from his father and aunt.

ostentatia, by contrast, hears that sincere apology and is able to see how hard her god is working. That his silence is not uncaring, his silence is caring TOO much about too many things. And she takes up a pair of tongs and forges at his side. And her devotion is rewarded - she's given near prophethood, a miraculous divine intervention, she saves countless jobs including her father's.

Because she was willing to raise her concerns and logran was willing to listen.

[sol1nvictus]

thanks for the tag, I made an oc

tags are YOU!! the reader / whoever wants to do this :)

Fuck it, I'm starting one of these myself

Picrew chain time!

Tagging: @cute-as-buttons @bloop-arts @slymanner @mira-blue @garthcelyn @flowingleaves @pickastitch

[stardancerluv]

What the Emperor Wants

Part Eight

Summary: Justice is served, feelings are realized.

Warnings/Notes: 18+ & over! P in V consensual sex, implied violence…death in the coliseum, drinking, old time thoughts about the gods & life.

Sol Invictus: Roman god of the Sun, Pluto: Roman god of Death, & Ursa: Bear

❤️s, comments, feedback & reblogs are always welcome! Thank you for reading! (A bit long!)

Sitting in the royal box of the coliseum made you nervous. You had only stood and served prior to this day. As you settled in your seat you felt like all the eyes were on you. You knew that wasn’t the truth of the matter but it didn’t help. Your heart kept a steady beat.

“Don’t worry. The eyes will be on me soon enough.”

Startled, you glanced at Geta. A slow smile spread across his face.

You glanced around the intensity of his gaze made you shift where you sat. Taking a breath before looking back at him. “Sire?”

“Justice is going to be served.”

“Good.”

*******

This was going on to send ripples in the water. He looked forward to seeing if it would bring about a storm. Regardless, the earth will be free of one enemy. Perhaps, others will scurry out of the shadows and reveal themselves.

The herald, called for the attention of the vast audience. Trumpets sounded. He felt as if the gods, were on his side as he walked to edge of the royal box.

“People of Rome!”

He shouted. A thick silence fell over the arena, it ceased what remaining words flew from people’s lips.

“People of Rome!” He repeated, he looked over the seats.

“When dawn broke this morning, before Sol Invictus flew across the sky to bring us the sun; a man snuck into my dwelling. He wished for me to meet, Pluto.”

The crowd erupted. He allowed them to scream their disgust, their unpleasantness.

Easily, the herald brought the coliseum once more the order.

“My trusted guards, have questioned him.”

He let his lips curl into a wide smile.

“And it is here I will let you all witness justice. You will see what happens to anyone who tries to end my life.”

The clanging of metal filled the colosseum as the gates rose up, the man beaten and bruised was brought out. Seeing his condition pleased him greatly.

“Now, I will allow you and the gods to choose his final fight.”

A snarl followed by a loud, guttural roar filled the arena. A lion, pounced and rocked his iron cage. He circled in the small space eager to be released.

“Shall we allow a lion have its way?” He called out.

The man now standing by himself could be seen trembling at the place the guards had walked him too.

The creaking of a much larger cage came into the arena. Just as some of the loose sand was kicked up in a breeze and blew when a roar from the depths of its belly was heard. A bear, far taller than serval men stood on its hind legs and banged against his cage. Spit, fangs were bared as it roared once more.

“Who shall this assassin be brought to justice by?”

The crowd went wild. Their screams, their cheers were far louder than both of the beasts that were in the arena.

He watched from his perch, the man fell to his knees. His eyes, which had once been filled with hatred and malice now were watery and full of pleading, remaining on his knees. He completely forgot the sword the guards had dropped near him as he appeared to cry out with pleas for mercy. The man who had wanted him dead not that long ago.

A laugh erupted from his throat and he threw back his head in amusement. His crown of golden leaves remained where it rested atop his head.

Power, surged through him. He spread out his arms. He got his answer. It was as if the words had been whispered in his ear.

“The gods have spoken!” He hollered.

The crowd, once again silenced.

“Today, a bear is what deliver the sentence!”

The men who drew out the lion, returned it to the shadowy tunnels where they fed and kept it ready for any match or punishment.

The men who brought in the bear, bowed to him before turning to the locks that held the bear secure.

The man jumped to his feet, barely able to grab the sword left for him. He bowed quickly. That irked Geta, but he would be dead soon enough, he mused.

The bear, shook himself off ignoring the men who retreated back to passageway from which they came. He appeared to look around.

“Be the hands of the gods, great Ursa!” Geta called out.

The bear rose at his words, letting out a roar. He had been trained well. Geta smiled. The bear finally saw the man. He lowered himself onto all fours.

“Now for justice.” He said softly and caught the eyes of you, his brother who actually looked pleased for the first time in a while and the general. Who looked actually ill at ease. he shrugged it off. He knew he liked the freedom of a battle. The landscape of the earth beneath his feet as he fought along side his legion with a sword in hand.

Sitting down, he saw as the bear and the man clashed. A scream and roar mingled and became one. The man did manage to graze the bear’s shoulder with the blade before he was knocked into the air from the full force of the bear. A fight ensued.

Geta, glanced away to see you. There was a flush in your cheeks and your eyes looked as if a storm had rolled in, reminding him of how you spoke of things to him. But your emotions, he couldn’t be certain of. He watched as you turned towards him, surely you felt his gaze up you. Your eyes met his.

“He is getting what he deserves for what he attempted to do. In the underworld, he will never forget.” You said, with a great strength behind it.

It pleased him.

“Yes. And he will know that a girl, who is as delicate as a spring’s bloom saw him and foiled his dark, devious deeds.”

“Anything to keep you and Rome, safe and at peace, Sire.”

********

“I had thought, you told the others we would be joining them for the festivities being held. Food, dancers would be brought out for your pleasure.”

Your stomach was still in knots, after watching the man torn apart by the bear and fights that had been held after to further celebrate the justice that had been severed. The gladiators had fought with great pride that afternoon.

Wine, the fruit did nothing to calm you. A shadow of what could have been, fell over your heart. If you had not returned for his crest that held your clothing, it would have been a completely different day. You were certain of it.

Your place, would be different. You would mostly would have been in that arena. You knew in your heart that Caracalla despised you. Though, with this glorious delivering of justice and Geta’s kind words, you would continue to live, to breath.

“That is true. They will be. Wine, will be poured. Toasts will be made. Words, will fly in my praise. Though as a man, an emperor I wish to take a moment.”

“If that is your will, Geta. I can give you some solitude if it is what you wish?”

A light chuckle came from him. You glanced at him, his eyes that met yours were bright as if the sun itself was blessing the fresh earth it chose to shine upon.

“No, that is not what I wish.”

The warmth of his hand on your lower back could be felt through the soft fabrics you wore. He easily guided you to his quarters. Once the door, closed behind the two of you.

“I need to be one with you.”

“Geta?”

“Yes?”

You watched as he carefully took his crown off and laid it on a table near where the two of you stood. Your heart quickened in your chest. With quick pace, he was in front of you.

“This is a pleasure, the great Venus has given us. I wish to feel it once again.”

His fingers grazed the curve of your jaw.

You closed your eyes and nodded. “I wish to feel it as well. But then shall I retire for the evening?”

He shook his head. “No, we shall go and enjoy the banquet, watch the dancers. I want one of my favorite possessions at my side.” He smiled.

Something about his words, that smile made a fluttering in your stomach. It was the very emperor, that wished for you and no one else. In all the stars and prayers you made, would have been something you ever thought would be bestowed upon you.

“This will be our own display of gratitude to the gods for the justice served today.”

His thumb grazed your lips, your heart began to thud like the night before. If not harder since now you knew what you would be feeling.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

********

“Wait?”

“Yes?”

He let his eyes move over you. A softening of his words, that came to his tongue urged him to speak. You had been the to save his life. Not the guards that stood outside his door.

“You are far lovelier than any fresco, in my domus. I will have to fetch in artist in the coming seasons.”

“Truly Geta?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

His hand glided down your soft side, the fabrics made you only more pleasing. He brought his hands to your hips and squeezed. You winced, parting those flower petal pink lips.

“Just as your breasts, shall be good for a baby to eventually suckle these hips,” He smiled. “These hips,” He repeated will help carry that baby. A real gift from the gods.”

“You think so, Geta?”

Your breathless, made him pull you against him. He loved how you felt against him. Made his desire in his lions for you tighten.

“Certainly. Now go and lay down.”

“What of my clothes? Will they not be amiss?”

“No one will take sight.”

He watched as you went and laid down and pulled aside where the fabrics met and parted ways.

“Remove the scrap of modesty fabric, I want nothing to hinder me.”

Stepping closer, he finally he freed himself. The coolness of his room gave him a gentle relief from the heat of his passion. He came to kneel beside you, open and ready to receive him.

“Do you want to see more of me, Geta?”

“Yes, that would be very pleasing.”

His heart squeezed as he watched you pull the folds of fabric away from your full breasts. You were truly his own living piece of art. The gods, truly pleased him with giving you to him.

The soft sound from your lips as he entered you and the one that came from him became one. It felt so good.

“You were made for me.” He managed to say before he began moving in and out of you.

Your body tightened as your moans grew louder. He had braced himself on the bed underneath the two of you. Easily, he lost himself in his passion as it took ahold of him.

“Yes, yes let me hear you.”

“Yes, Geta. My emperor.” Your moans and breathlessness grew louder, stronger.

His body tightened as he felt his pleasure growing. That’s when he remembered the soft bud at the apex of your legs, the ones that caused you flutter around his length. He needed to feel that again. Reached down, his thumb gently grazing it. Your body matched and moved with him.

“Give yourself to the pleasure. Let it fill you.” He urged you.

He let his thumb graze your soft bud once more. Your moans filled his room with more beauty than a lyre and seeing that he was the cause, made him move even deeper into you. Causing, his pleasure to finally come over him, and soon he was filling you with the seed only he possessed. The strength he felt earlier came over him. He felt as everything had the soft glow a sunset would give all within its reach.

*******

“These are the dancers from the new providence brother, are they not divine?” Caracalla, leaned in smiling as he nodded to one who swished near. Hints of jasmine, lingered in her wake.

“Yes. I knew that alliance would reap several good tidings.” Geta, smile and sipped at his wine.

At the moment, he was still settling into the comfort from the pleasure you and him shared. Everyone, there was in good spirits even his brother. Turmoil between them could come back another day but tonight there could be peace.

He knew of the history of Romulus and Remus, he truly wished that history would not befall him and Caracalla. Though, he would never push away the lingering of his trust he had for his brother in his heart.

As you sat near Geta and watched the dancers while nibbling on some fruit. Something blossomed in you. After, his pleasure had taken him over, he had for moment pulled you closer to him while his breathing finally calmed. He glanced back at you from over his glass, as if he had known your thoughts and gave a fleeting smile, it stirred a warmth in you.

@honey-eyed-munson @amethyst-serenade @screaming-blue-bagel @kitkat80 @blondie324 @alyisdead @hellomadamebutterfly @heartsforjosephquinn @helsa3942

[txttletale]

youve previously spoken about i was a teenage exocolonist and its confused politics, and i agree, and now im thinking, how would one revise the story so as to improve them?

i think the game would have to either not be so proudly About Colonialism or would have to revise its story so that the theming actually matches the events. like imaginining that my proposed rewrite aims to 1. make the game's politics coherent while 2. changing as little as possible and 3. keeping the game's intended themes, i think the things that are most dissonant and jarring are:

the game not understanding what colonialism is but wanting to very much assure you that It's Bad

the game not understanding what fascism is but wanting to very much assure you that It's Bad

the game not understanding what capitalism is &c. &c. &c.

the bizarre unexamined eugenicist elements

so let's start on the first thing. you would want to lean much more heavily on the colonists as 'refugees' rather than 'colonists' -- the game treats 'colonizing' a place the exact same way as 'living there', and that kind of sucks (a common problem when using 'Space Colonization' as a 1-1 metaphor for actual colonization). so while we want to keep the weird culty aspects of the colony's society we'll ditch most of the colonial intentionality until the Helios arrives. secondly, we need to have the planet's indigenous people, like, actually present and not secretly hiding away as supercomputers.

so, like, let's keep the Gardeners as artificial life forms dedicated to protecting the ecosystem, but let's make them biotech. let's make them giant, imposing trees that reach up into the sky, with root networks that span the whole planet. then, rather than the colony being colonialist because it straight up doesnt know indigenous people exist (because they're secret computer people), we can make a much more interesting conflict by having the colonists be ignorant (and, as the game progresses, willingly ignorant) of the gardeners' sentience. have the raids start after the colony fells one of the trees (killing a Gardener) to make room for their own expansion, maybe really lean into the nasty parts of the colonial metaphor by having the Gardener's wood be the construction material of the new wing of the colony.

then Lum arrives as part of an intentional colonization project from the Earth we fled, assumes military command as in the current story, and immediately ramps up existing exploitation and destructive enviromental practices. his administration deliberately suppresses information of the Gardeners' sentience and spreads propaganda about them being 'monster trees'. have Lum clearly backed by Earthbound corporate interests, seeing the colony as an excercise in extracting value and using fascist dictatorship (usurping elections and the council with a permanent state of emergency and martial law) as a tool to maximize that value.

instead of defeating Lum at the ballot box, you can remove him in a coup. you can keep the getting-the-councilors-on-side minigame, you can even make it a bloodless coup if you don't want to put revolutionary violence in the game (but considering how much other violence there is in there, including terrorism, genocide, and murder, seems like a strange omission tbqh). and dont make him your fucking tiktoker put the guy in Jail. hes killed people sol.

have Sym still have his humanboo interests but also hint at an internal power struggle within the Gardeners, make it clear that there is a real and thriving culture among these indigenous gigantic environmentally networked tree-ecosystem-people, make his motivations for seeking peace more multifaceted.

then make the peaceful resolution to the whole colonialism issue to integrate the settlers into Gardener society rather than the weird siloed reservation thing going on in the base game. the head of the settlement or an ambassador (probably Dys) gets to go to the big fancy Gardener meetings where they decide things, the settlement gets permission from the Gardeners to farm and expand sustainably and is integrated into the ecosystem rather than neatly separated from it. the excolonists stop being colonists and become citizens of the planet.

as for the capitalism stuff, you can just drop that from marz' character, honestly. or if you want to make it make more sense without having to get into What Capitalism Is (which i think would be outside the mission statement of these proposals), make her thing wanting opulence and excess (it already kind of us, the game just keeps saying 'Capitalism'), have her excited when Lum starts giving people the opportunity to have that, then have her moment of excitement turn sour when she looks into Earth history and realizes how destructive this kind of extraction is in the long term.

and the eugenics--i think the simplest case here while still keeping all the cool genetic mutant character tics is just to make the genetic mutations a random glitch in an artificial womb system the refugees were using to have kids in space. this lets you keep the weird and wacky stuff going on with tangent and dys without raising questions like 'hey isnt this society insanely fucking dystopian'.

that's my in-a-nutshell rewrite of the game. obvsies an actual rewrite would need to change some more in-depth things, but i think off the top of my head these are the changes to the narrative that would make the heavyhanded attempts at political commentary work for me (that said, you could also go the opposite route, stop trying to draw parallels to colonialism and fascism and keep all the weird shit as is. but i think that's less interesting and more like stuff that already exists)

[ncfan-1]

I’ve spoken these thoughts before in less complete form, but I guess it’s time to put it all together in more or less coherent form: the Khofar massacre serves its storytelling purpose as the Brendok massacre redux, an explosive resurfacing of the violence in Sol’s past that he has refused to reckon with and has instead suppressed and displaced onto the shoulders of the woman he is trying to stalk through the woods, except this time, Sol is in Mae’s shoes.

Khofar’s flora and fauna is Brendok but denser, far more forbidding and hostile. A densely-forested, largely uncharted planet, as Brendok is a densely-forested, now-uninhabited planet. Khofar’s wilds are not Brendok’s lush but gentle, easily navigable forests, but instead forests of trees so tall and so dense that they all but block out the sun, and navigating these forests is difficult even with the aid of an experienced guide/tracker. In place of Brendok’s delicate pink flutterbies, we are met with the umbramoths, large, hostile carnivorous insects which Osha finds herself drawn to as she was drawn to the insects of her homeworld—and when one of them hatches, Sol does not pacify it nor even harmlessly scare it off, but instead kills it, doubling down on denying the violence of his past by committing yet more violence. The area around the umbramoth colony has a rotten stench, like bodies left out in the open to rot, coming back to light for the first time in years.

Sol is leading a team in stalking Mae through the woods, as he once stalked Osha and Mae through the woods when they were children. And it’s when he finds her, it’s when he reaches the woman he has displaced the burden of his guilt onto, that Qimir arrives. Qimir whose storytelling function as the masked Dark Sider on Khofar is to serve as the manifestation of Sol’s shadow. Qimir who has concealed his true identity from Mae, as Sol has concealed a dire secret of their shared past from Osha. Sol, who is ultimately the only Jedi sent to Khofar who can actually hold his own against Qimir. Qimir, who has accepted his darkness, versus Sol, who has repressed it. And what you repress always comes back to haunt you.

We have Osha, Osha who is on Khofar closely associated with the Jedi but not actually a Jedi, just as on Brendok, she was closely associated with the witches but not actually a witch. Osha who is in some amount of danger from Qimir, but whom Sol doesn’t have that much difficulty keeping safe from him, because Qimir’s goal at this point is the same as Sol’s once was. Sol, whose goal on Brendok was to get Osha and keep her, versus Qimir, whose ultimate goal now is to get Osha and keep her.

We have Mae, who is in considerably more danger from Qimir, and whom Sol cannot effectively protect from him. Mae, who is ultimately saved by sheer chance in the form of Yord just happening to show up at the right time and just happening to hit on the right solution to free her before Qimir can kill her, just as she was saved by sheer chance as a child. Qimir tells Sol and Mae “Look at you two. Right back where you started,” and this is just as true for Mae as it is for Sol. Mae, who became nothing more than second rate to Sol once Osha came into focus on Brendok, and Mae whom even without betrayal to add into it, Qimir is ready to toss to the wayside now that Osha has come into focus for him as well.

And Sol. We have Sol, who is at the epicenter of the Khofar massacre, just as he was at the epicenter of the Brendok massacre as well. But there’s a difference this time. On Brendok, Sol’s role at the epicenter was to be the one who pushed things past the point of no return, to be the one who ensured that all of the witches would die by killing Mother Aniseya, ensuring that all of the other adults would never back down until the Jedi were dead, or they were. On Khofar, Sol now occupies Mae’s former role at the epicenter, to be the witness to the massacre and the sole survivor of the Jedi sent to Khofar.

The Jedi sent to Khofar die, just as the witches died. Sol watches Jecki die, helpless to prevent it, just as Mae once watched her mother die, helpless to prevent it—and so too is Mae watching as Jecki dies. Sol watches all of his team die around him, cut down by this specter of destruction that has come into his life seemingly out of nowhere, just as the witches were cut down by Sol and Indara, who came into their lives seemingly out of nowhere.

Sol now stands in Mae’s shoes, is dealt the same wound that he dealt Mae… and it breaks him. He responds just as Mae responded. He stands stunned for a moment after Qimir kills Yord, processing the fact that now, every last member of his team is dead, and then he flies into a rage and goes after Qimir with a vengeance. He effectively speedruns Mae’s arc through her discovering that Osha was still alive, nothing short of Qimir’s death being enough to satisfy him, until Osha calls out to him and stops him just short of killing Qimir. Sol breaks, and he breaks along the same lines that Mae broke.

And then, in the aftermath, Sol flees the scene with “Osha” in tow, when he knows that if Qimir survived his encounter with the umbramoths, he’s leaving Mae somewhere in the woods, at the mercy of a man who has made it very clear that he wants to kill her. Just as he once left Mae to die on Brendok. Except it’s not “Osha” leaving with him at all. It’s Mae, and now Qimir gets Osha, the way Sol once got Osha. By taking her away with him while she was still unconscious.