#spoilers for kingsman: secret service

[officialbruciewayne]

I'm fond of this movie, not least because I love the energy of a fun spy film, but chiefly for its commentary on the exploitation and denigration of poverty and class. Its examinations of democide are resonant for a Gothamite.

[h00d13d09]

The amount of gay shit that happens to Harry and him only makes me inclined to think he's queer.

1. Dude in a bar thinking he rented Eggsy for s3x

2. Saying he has a boyfriend to that christian lady

3. Cowboy dude calling him a f@ggot

4. Elton saying if he saves the world he can have a backstage pass for his show and blowing him a kiss

Tell me I'm not crazy

[straightforwardmoviereview]

Kingsman: The Secret Service

1 sentence description: A fairly classic style spy movie, with goofy gadgets, grandiose villains with convoluted plots, and a right hand man who is 100x cooler than the actual villain.

Story: Its good, its got the hot men in suits, the fun gadgets, and characters you can relay care about. It has a villain that does feel like their motives are nonsensical till the final act, and I found myself fully rooting for them in the first two. And it does tend to ignore consequences of actions, such as leaving an untended dog in an unfamiliar environment with a single mom who is very traumatized, and even more, that would be big spoilers. But bonus points for beating up an abusive dad.

Music: quite good, only complaint is the villain's playlist, I personally would have gone with something more classic like "Burning down the house", "Murder on the dance floor", off the top of my head, but this is a small complaint.

Writing/Acting: Characters can be written pretty Cheese-ily, but this is mainly because people are acting like a posh British noble while in a downtown London pub. But the actors do a great job, besides scenes where someone acts like a normal person when reacting to the agent personality, the characters feel great.

Choreography: Very well done, amazing scenes which both don't feel too heavy and overcrowded, and don't feel empty and devoid of interest. Highly recommend you at least watch the church scene if you watch any part of the film.

Star Cast?: Collin Firth plays King George VI in the Kings speech (Quite the upgrade from a kingsman) Samuel L. Jackson (Needs no intro)

Ending: Ending is alright, They set up the main character with the other spy girl, but he cares more about getting laid than celebrating with friends. As well as they end the movie despite the fact all major leaders are dead but whatever. It doesn't do a great job of tying things in a great not, besides with his mom. But the fight scene leading up to the ending *Chefs kiss*

Rating: 6 / 10 (+0.5 for an amazing right hand man)

[hiddengems16]

Argyle

Finding the Patterns

Director:  Matthew Vaughn https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0891216/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk

Writer:  Jason Fuchs

Producers: Adam Bohling (produced by) (p.g.a.) | Jason Fuchs (produced by )(p.g.a.) | David Reid (produced by) (p.g.a.) | Matthew Vaughn

Cinematographer: George Richmond

Casting Director: Lillie Jeffrey | Reg Poerscout-Edgerton

Well, I really had high hopes for this one - with the all star studded cast and the $200million dumped into this movie I was really excited to see what new action adventure we'd be taken on. Unfortunately it didn't live up to it's hype. That being said, I'll have to watch it again when it comes out on Apple +. We have to try everything a couple times to really truly appreciate it, right? Don't forget, if you're not an expert in this field, be nice. You know what you like as an audience member, but any movie that comes out is worthy of admiration. The things that have to happen in order for it to even it the screen is nothing short of a miracle. For that I say good job and valiant effort.

Obviously spoilers lie ahead, so if you want to stop here, just know that it is an at home movie that can be found on Apple + . (Highly recommend watching with a bottle of wine.)

On to the juicy bits -

To be honest I was most excited about watching it because of Henry Cavill, with his casting fit to be James Bond, I thought to Myself, "This is going to be a great spy movie". Not to mention - Matthew Vaughn has given us some great action packed movies like "Kick-Ass", "Kingsman: The Secret Service", and "X-men: Days of Future Past" to name a few. Needless to say, the expectation was set quite high. With the film being announced back in 2021 - we've been waiting for this "banger" for a long time, only to be met with a confusing - plot twisting story. Not to mention, not a lot of Mr. Cavill - but I digress.

This story follows the journey of Elly Conway - played by Bryce Dallas Howard. We meet Elly at the height of her career as a novelist and as she is about to finish her final book, she's met with a writer's block from hell. As she travels to get a fresh perspective for her new book, she's whisked away by a spy that suspiciously reminds her of her lead character, "Argylle" played by Henry Cavill. As the story progresses, we find that Elly is actually a spy who had her memory erased by her bosses, and the whole time her partner/lover "Aiden Wilde" - played by Sam Rockwell - has been trying to help her get her memory back while trying to out the bad guys.

There were so many twists and turns that it's hard to write them in a summary. Which leads to the first issue of this film; half-way through you think the movie is wrapping up only to be shoved in a different direction with a new story unraveling. This happens a couple more times before the movie ends. If there were 1 maybe 2 plot twists, the story would have been captivating, but the turns just kept coming.

Next, what started as an adventurous romantic spy story, turned into a ketchy cheesy love story. There was one scene where Aiden and Elly are fighting for their lives after they've found out the truth about each other and they start spraying gas everywhere that turns colors and this weird dance occurs.... it just was out of place. Sam Rockwell did "kill" that dance - pun intended! He really is a great part of this film, never faltering in what he wanted, plus his dance moves were on point.

Lastly, the casting may have been just a bit off. Bryce Dallas Howard is a talent of this age, but she may not have been right for this part. I believed that she was the author of a spy book who's been taken by surprise by reality. But a hardened spy with years of killing under her belt? It just didn't fit. Also, all of the cameos of outrageously famous people, made it feel like they were just trying to break even on their $200 million spend. On the other hand, maybe the outrageous is exactly what Matthew Vaughn was going for - to make it really feel like a story book. But as an audience member it just felt like we were being force fed famous people.

On a more positive note, the action sequences, stunts, and costuming were AMAZING! If you're looking for action, then you've found it! The wardrobe department deserves and absolute standing ovation. The colors, textures, and contrasts of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER was impeccable! Stephanie Collie, I tip my hat to you, great job!

Also, what the hell is the cornfed Henry Cavill cameo at the end? I didn't understand that tie in with the entire movie or the preview during the credits.

On to the next one old chaps.

Thanks for reading my not expert opinions

Ta ta

[kingsmannetwork]

[incorrectbatfamandpals]

Dick: The question is: Is Masputin (Minion Verse Rasputin) also bisexual like Kasputin (Kingsman Verse Rasputin)?

Bruce: I'm in physical pain.

[faolanorionsstuff]

Just finished re-watching the 2 Kingsman movies back to back in anticipation for the 3rd movie of the franchise!

Watching Roxy, JB, and Merlin pass away again fucking broke me dude... I swear if they don't show up in the new movie with a ridiculous comical way as to how they survived I'm going to be livid!

[filthyfirth]

i’m here to clarify that dolores fighting stubbs scene at last night episode is just as hot and nutting as harry in the church scene

[missmorton]

Poor Eggsy [Spoiler warning]

This took two days but it was worth every minute Based off of [this] video

[ezrudine]

Redbubble Shop!

Planning to open a redbubble shop soon <3 

I want to make designs based off of the fandoms I’m in and DnD themed stuff too! I’ll post the link here right when I’ve finished setting it up! :) 

[h00d13d09]

I rewatched Kingsman after years and oh my god the amount of bizzare shit that happens there makes you wonder "what the FUCK am I watching right now??"

Like wdym people's heads are exploding like fireworks??

Wdym there's a car chase with car mounted machine guns IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING LONDON?????

[soldierwinters]

Eggsy Unwin + Outfits

[singing-not-sleeping-beauty]

kingsman 3 better center around Eggsy and Harry rebuilding kingsman with a diverse team of agents.

There can be a villain, but their only goal is to stop them from rebuilding, and the Statesmen make an epic comeback, and there are no major character deaths

also, can we get a statesmen solo movie?

[koalas-koalas-everywhere]

People are... over here, saying Tilde was emotionally manipulative/abusive/that her and Eggsy’s relationship is toxic... because she got upset that he said he couldn’t marry her?

(More under the cut. I always think I’ll barely fill three paragraphs but end up here.)

Has anyone considered that marriage is a major aspect of one’s life, one of the breaking deals in a relationship, there along with wanting children, and something you can and should break up with someone over if you absolutely can’t see face to face on?

I mean, sure, it’s 2018, back then 2017, we all know marriage isn’t necessary for a fulfilling relationship or life, but some people just really want to get married, and Tilde’s a princess. She’s got the whole old-blood, traditional thing going on, she was probably raised to think marriage was not optional in a relationship. That a relationship led to marriage or it was going nowhere.

She’s got the pressure that comes with fame - she’d have to hide the fact that she’s even dating Eggsy, which would probably lead to questions about why she’s single. She was ready to marry Eggsy, and Eggsy wanted to marry her, or at least spend the rest of his life with her. They weren’t planning on breaking up. Imagine being a 50 year old Princess having to hear speculation from the press, from people at your court (I don’t know how modern Swedish monarchy works), from your parents, who have no idea about Kingsman, about your “single” status while you’re hiding your boyfriend.

She also probably knows about Kingsman’s rules against relationships- heck, she might think that’s the only reason why they’re keeping their relationship a secret, since Eggsy had to tell her why he couldn’t marry her. But that was probably also making her worry she wasn’t that serious to him, since he wasn’t commiting. No, I know making your partner the most important thing in your life, above the job that gave you your life as you know it and love it now, isn’t necessarily good, but as far as she knew she was there to look pretty until Kingsman found out and she was dropped. After all, she can’t really know that he isn’t using her because she’s a pretty Princess and a reliable source of sex when he’s home and picking up someone else when he’s as far as Scotland. Mind you, I’m not saying she doubted him, but it is a thought that might have come up after he refuses to marry her.

See, now Kingsman’s all but dead. She probably thought that the last obstacle to a free relationship was gone (a silver lining). Then Eggsy calls her and tells her he has to have sex with someone else for a mission, not even explaining the particulars. From their reactions it’s clear that, in the last two years, Eggsy had never done anything similar. Then Kingsman dies and he has to cheat on her? She doesn’t even know why. Does he want info? Was he ordered to do it? By whom? They’re all dead! Did he just decide sleeping with her was the best way to get what he wanted? He’s never done this before and she has no reason to think he did (actually, she has every reason to think he hasn’t because he bothered to call her and is actually upset at not getting her permission), but is this the first stain of mud of a slippery slope? 

Then she asks him if he’s offering to marry her when he proclaims his fucking undying love for her and says that a proposal would make her feel secure enough in their relationship to let him sleep with someone else. Trusting nothing but his word that he’s doing only what needs to be done and that he’ll marry her later.

Then he says no for completely understandable reasons. I’ve already said that being a Kingsman agent is not only a big part of what gives Eggsy a feeling of fulfillment, but also the reason he loves his life. Because of Kingsman he met Roxy, his best friend, Merlin, the only real friend he has available at the moment, the people at Statesman, the only support he has at the moment, Harry, the man who made it all possible and trusted him, and Tilde. It’s the reason he and his family’s not living in poverty, probably why he’s not in prison. It’s the reason he’s happy. He can’t give it up and not only because of what it has done to get him where he is now, not only because he loves that job, but also because people depend on him doing it, especially now that he’s the only field agent Kingsman has. (There’s Statesman, but there’s a reason Kingsman existed, it’s too much for only one organization to handle it. He probably also thinks that, since he’s capable, he’s also responsible.) 

However, that also means he can’t marry Tilde, since (disregarding the rules, who’s gonna enforce them?), by making himself a public figure he’d risk getting discovered, which would endanger him, Tilde, and all of Kingsman, including the new, inexperienced recruits they’re probably planning to get once they are running again. Maybe even Statesman, too. 

So, the situation’s like this. To be happy with their relationship, Tilde needs Eggsy to marry her. To stay happy, Eggsy can’t marry her. They were incompatible in that way. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, Eggsy wasn’t backing down about fucking that other girl. He wasn’t giving her, them, the chance to talk it over later, he couldn’t. Tilde did the only thing that would let her keep her dignity: she broke up with him. Usually, things like this need to be discussed first, to see if they can reach an agreement, but there wasn’t time, Eggsy was at that very moment literally in another girl’s tent at Glasto set on fucking her with or without Tilde’s permission (as far as she knew, and she was right). While it’s commendable that he told her and wanted her to be okay with his actions, was ready to abandon the mission because she wasn’t and, when it proved to be to costly to do so, did his best to keep the sex to the bare necessities, he didn’t really to ask for permission, he called expecting to get it and knowing that he might not be able to back out if he didn’t (which he wasn’t). It wasn’t a bad thing, with people who’d been on Kingsman radars since even before they blew them up running amok. Call me cold-blooded, but I'd rather someone prioritzed the fate of the world over their personal relationships, even if it sucks for them and it hurts seeing a beloved character suffering on-screen. But the relationship will suffer, especially since that one action was indicative of how things always are in that aspect of the relationship. 

Some people can deal with that and that’s fine, but Tilde couldn’t and that’s fine, too, as long as you either solve this with your partner (which they couldn0t have and, if you ask me, they shouldn't have, not as they did) or you back out. And Tilde backed out. She wasn’t “emotionally manipulating” Eggsy into marrying her. She went “this is a deal breaker - I can’t not marry you” and when Eggsy said they couldn’t marry, she broke up with him, even though it pained her just as much as him and she didn’t even have some world-saving mission to keep her grounded. She wasn’t waiting for him to grovel his way back to her. He was already groveling his way back to her and she wanted him to give it up. 

She did the mature thing and ended a relationship she saw no future to and people are calling her amotionally manipulative and abusive and saying that their relationship became toxic when she decided she’d rather take the chance to love someone again and be happy with them instead of unhappy with Eggsy.

She didn’t break up with Eggsy to get him to marry her, she wasn’t planning to take him back. She just realized the life she wanted wasn’t compatible with the one Eggsy was planning/leading.

About their romance in general: was it unnecessary? I guess. Aren’t most relationships in a movie which isn’t about that relationship in particular unecessary, though? 

And couldn’t they have used other important people in his life to motivate him? I guess. I mean, beyond asking him if he’s all right, (although, then again, they might know he doesn’t use anymore) I don’t see why his friends would call him, since they don’t know that he can help. His mom, on the other hand, definitely would have known and definitely would have needed his help since she’s a confirmed user. I wish she had appeared more. 

The thing is, Vaughn had a goal which was doing the complete opposite of James Bond movies. You can see this in how, for example, the male characters don’t perform toxic masculinity*, Roxy (for all that she’s the token girl) is given the same respect by the characters that they give anyone else (in-universe - out of universe this movie has some issues. Although, brownie points for making her having to hook up with a girl barely a deal and not having her sexualized at any time, don’t know if it’s a good thing that they developed her more than the other characters or if I should be rolling my eyes that it was making her be afraid of heights. But then again, she overcame her fear twice while that other guy almost messed up the test. But then again) and she even becomes Lancelot, and probably other things people who are better versed than I in James Bond films can point out.

What I’m trying to say is that putting the main character in a committed relationship that’s important to him was something even I, who hasn’t seen a James Bond movie in her life, knows has to be done. So they were going to make a big deal out of it. 

It also served to jolt him out of his indecision over whether to marry her by making her (almost) die just days after they had a fight, when Eggsy was probably still hopeful for a reconciliation and probably felt guilty for not marrying her, for cheating an her and, if he finds out she was smoking because of him, maybe for killing her. (We’re talking about guilt here, not blame.) And he had to marry her to carry on the anti-Bond theme.

Once more, we might say, “marriage is not the mark of a happy relationship”, but to the writers it probably is. More to the point, it’s probably the mark of a successful one. For all their attempts at being progressive, they miss the mark as often as they hit it.

But it’s perfectly acceptable for them to think so just as it’s acceptable for Tilde to think so.

I didn’t like that they got married. Unless Eggsy left Kingsman right when he was most essential, since he’s one of its last three members (Statesman might still be there, but there’s more to being a Kingsman than to be a spy and that’s something only a Kingsman can understand. This is not about Statesman being worse, but about it being different.), nothing got resolved. Which is why, I think, a lot of people think Tilde was abusive. She won. She didn’t have to give up anything while Eggsy did. What it is he gave up, we’ll find out in the next movie (we better - in this respect, I actually have a lot of faith in Vaughn, which is weird, to say the least. Writers are usually enemy #1 where I’m concerned), but he sacrificed something. The fact that he came to the decision of marrying her after facing the possibility of losing her, when part of losing her involved Tilde breaking up with him probably doesn’t help. The point is, while the wedding is probably a mistake, it’s not the result of manipulation on Tilde’s part, and she sure as hell isn’t reprehensible for wanting to be happy and keeping her dignity while at it.

None of them were wrong.

(I mean, Eggsy does a lot of very agressive stuff, but I read that as more of an “abused kid who saw his life go down the drain and so has anger management issues that appear in ways ‘acceptable’ by his surroundings’ standards” than “you offended my masculine sensibilities so now I have to show you that I’m the alpha”. He’s agressive towards 1) his abusive step-father (verbally), 2) his gang who are actively threatening him, at a moment when he’s in a bad mood, and say his abusive step-father might be doing him a favor, 3) Charlie and his clique of classist assholes when they’re picking on him [he tries to fight them when they throw water on him, which,  may a remind you, instantly takes him back to that time he almost drowned and he thought someone actually died, but later only responds by telling them to fuck off and by proving he’s better than them], 4) Merlin when he thinks he was chosen as the expendable one, 5) enemies, 6) you’ll have to complete this part for me because I can’t think of any ocassion when Eggsy is agressive towards anyone. Maybe his friends when they won’t get out of the carwhen he’s trying to get them a chance to escape? None of these are about him feeling they’re trying to usurp his place of privilege, they’re about him trying to prove he deserves respect as a human being [and him killing people, that too]. The thing is, his outbursts are related to either his abusive stepfather or his class. So against the man who harms him, his mother and will probably be a danger to his baby sister or whe he’s being discriminated against, which isn’t only a matter of dignity which is often denied to him but also his and his family’s very survival. He never hides his feelings, whether they’re hard or soft.) 

[starsville]

someone: “country roads... take me home...”

me:

[silversatori-blog]

Am I the only one who’s confused and more than a little worried that there are so many recent books and movies that present genocide as a solution (although a solution presented by the bad guys) to overpopulation?

I mean... how far off is it that someone actually gets that idea at some point and I doubt there’s a Professor Langdon or Kingsman or Avengers to stop them.