#spoiler for the ending: I didn't intend it to be so bittersweet at the end (with an slight emphasis on the bitter)

[gold-rhine]

like its literally insane how beat for beat this lantern rite goes into the same notes as natlan final act, but just does it well. the contrast is crazy-making. SPOILERS 2025 LANTERN RITE i guess

like. oh its a story about pyro girlie who had to lose her family very early and tragically, and then she came under huge amount of dire responsibility, but she didn't let it break her and she stayed positive and bright. she is now confronted with a critical situation where she has to do hard decision and be ready to die to save her country. she says goodbyes to her friends, trying to not let them know she's going to sacrifice herself, but they realise it and do everything to save her. in the end, she realizes her life isn't over, its too early for her to go, has heartfelt reunion with ghosts of her family and is saved by unified efforts of her friends, showing how much she's loved and wanted in the world of the living. (im joking, last part didnt happen to mavuika lol, i'll get to it)

but like you can actually see how liyue kids are ACTUALLY friends and how they like each other, they have palpable chemistry that is shown, instead of just like. flatly declared in natlan. hu tao pestering embarrassed yun jin into performing her silly cringe hilichurl song in operatic style has more character than mavuika had in all acts of natlan and her story quest COMBINED. and hu tao visiting friends to give them goodbye gifts under the guise of holiday tradition with half-jokey heartfelt well wishings is what i think natlan tried to do with ancient name thing, where characters like say why they like traveler. except in lantern rite it works because its personal and meaningful, and in natlan its just flashy anime poses and random cliches. "i love being traveler's friend!", "surely she comes from a good home!" like??? its fucking nothings that coworkers awkwardly say at the birthday party because they don't know you.

and suddenly in liyue they know that characters can have differences and STILL be respectful and well-intended, with hu tao and baizhu exchanging jabs about being archenemies, instead of entire cast being blandly okay yay all the time in natlan. hu tao's conversation with zhongli exploring her mental state before going into danger, bittersweet, but finally honest, just straight up doesnt have a parallel in natlan because they never give mavuika any fucking way to express herself. not to mention that hu tao has more conflict and complicated feelings about her lost family and grief than mavuika ever has with her sister where they talk about fucking nothing and just like politely nod at each other.

and the theme of unity actually works in liyue because it does have all other characters uniting to share hu tao's burden and save her, instead of capitano ex machina just showing up and solo taking her place bc he's here to hijack the narrative and make it about khaenriah instead of natlan. so natlan's theme about unity just never goes anywhere except of characters standing in the circle and yelling "for natlan!!", there is no tangible effort for this unity, nothing they have to overcome together. they just wait for everyone to awaken their ancient names, stand in a circle to power up mavuika, and then she solo finishes everything with carpet bombing. and then she solo beats up abyss boss. and then capitano makes it all about himself. like. much unity.

and even traveler being a descender isn't really used in natlan despite making a big deal out of it, her ability to challenge fate or whatever literally never actually comes up. meanwhile in liyue it is used within established lore reasons - not being connected to irminsul, BUT, very importantly, just being special descender would not be enough to save hu tao, its the fact that they are friends, they share a bond and care about each other, i.e. only by using the plum's branch traveler is able to connect and find hu tao.

[on1knee4marksmen]

A Different Type of Real

Worst! Wolverine x reader (this one's platonic)

Word count: (almost) 2k (yikes)

Description: Logan doesn't really know how to get used to his new life after the Void. And even if you hide it,neither do you.

(Reader is Laura's big sister in this one. I intended adoptive,but you could read into it as biological too c: )

Warnings: GET READY FOR FEELS!! Also like bittersweet themes revolving around the whole "from another timeline" thing; mentions of death

Tags: sfw; platonic relationships; angst with a happy ending; no use of Y/N (basically no dialogue too); girldad Logan (he adopts yet another kid along the way smh); kind of a comfort fic; Worst! Logan x reader; (also mentions of old man Logan cuz I'm attached to him)

A/N: This was supposed to be a set of hcs but I got carried away a bit teehee. I'm really not sure what to think of this,it sadly might be a bit boring to read😔 I'm still getting back into writing, so apologies for that.

(Also I cried while writing this so there's that)

English isn't a first language,so mb for mistakes

SPOILERS FOR BOTH LOGAN (2017) AND DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE BELOW THE CUT

It wasn't easy for the Worst (Best) Wolverine to adapt to all this. First, the whole Void shenanigan, then the possibility of Wade's whole timeline literally ceasing to exist.

..And now this. A life alongside the merc, his blind roommate, a smelly dog-

And you and Laura.

Laura grew on him quite quickly - she was a lot more like him than he initially thought, and in a good way, for once. But you? He was still working on that.

It was mainly because you were so.. caring.

At first, he'd quite literally jump at even a little brush of your shoulder against his arm just because even such a tiny bit of contact felt foreign. And then he'd deny it if you brought it up or asked why he was always on edge.

He was unsure how to react to a gentle touch such as yours, because punching? Fighting, rough shoves? Those he's used to. But a hug? A comforting squeeze of his hand, a pat on the back, a shoulder rub? Heck, even a smile was something he didn't get often. And all of a sudden he was feeling himself frowning, his body tensing up,solely because it's coded into his brain at this point that it can't be just that - there has to be an edge behind that kindness, something waiting to sting him when he least expects it.

...But that sting never came. Instead he was always left with a warmth in his chest that he wasn't really sure how to react to.

It's like when you try to pet a stray cat - the little fuzzball might secretly want to be coddled with gentle touches,but it's so not used to pets that it automatically does what it knows will protect it - it scratches.

It's like that with Logan at first. He pushes you away. Snarls or frowns your way at any attempt of yours to get close to him, physically or emotionally. But unlike Wade,you don't push. You just nod,maybe give a teeny tiny smile and you respect his personal space. And that's when he slowly begins to realise that he misses it all. Only when you stop does he start digging up his emotions and trying to make sense of them.

He's not a violent dog, why does he feel the need to bite?

Then one night,it all occurs to him - you're different than Wade. Hell, you're different than Laura, even if that's where the two of them found you - with her.

You're older than her, but shared the same fate with her, as Logan found out from Laura herself. From his clonedaughter's own words, you were there even before she found your Logan. You used to tell her stories about your time with the X-Men before the incident, used to throw in little remarks about the Logan you knew - the one that wasn't as grumpy, the one that you found smiling every now and then, the one that sassed everything that breathed. You'd tried so hard to make her laugh, tried so hard to raise her right, even after you both were forced to bury your own father in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota.

And even as the TVA sent you to the Void, of all places, you did your best to keep your hopes up. To at least make it seem like you had it all under control, like you really through everything was going to work out.

Like you didn't cry yourself to sleep most of the nights when you didn't just straight up pass out from exhaustion the moment you hit the makeshift mattress.

You weren't like Wade, no. Wade was all about recklessness, all about poking and prodding. It's not like he wasn't trying to cheer Logan up, but sometimes it really seemed like he was doing it only for his own amusement.

You were gentle. So damn gentle.

You had built your whole life upon understanding, helping, pleasing. Protecting.

You were this Logan's polar opposite, he himself had thought.

He could see the care in your eyes, could feel the underlying tone of fondness in your voice when you talked to him. He'd never seen you angry. And yet that was what most unsettled him.

Ever since that realisation came to him, he'd start noticing other things when you came around to his and Wade's place. How you'd try to hide the bags under your eyes with make-up, how you'd sigh heavily at any chance you had to plop down on a soft piece of furniture. How tired you'd look when you closed your eyes, even if it's just for seconds at a time before you put on the calm, comforting façade back on.

How every time you'd look at him or speak to him, every time you'd try to get close to him, your eyes would sparkle with something he couldn't quite name. Up until now.

Hope. Vulnerable, raw, innocent yearning. Not for anything else, but to see him happy. To catch a glimpse of a smile, to hear even a tiny bit of that warm and raspy chuckle you'd grown to know by heart. To see his gaze soften for once, to see his body relax, to see him let go of the tension always looming over him.

Even if you were an adult already, there was still a little girl inside you. And that little girl saw her old man in Logan.

And it fucking wrecked him.

All those thoughts awakened something that he didn't know he was still capable of - raw and overwhelming protectiveness. It pierced through him like an arrow, hit him like a freight train. It wasn't just Laura that saw him as her papa - it was you too.

The next time you came over, this time to help Al with some cooking for a hangout she was apparently going to go to tonight, he promised himself he'd try. For you.

And he did. Instead of sitting in his and Wade's room or on the couch, he instead decided to hang around on the kitchen table, using the beer bottle he was nursing as an excuse to do so. Whenever Al was beside you, he'd quietly sip at his drink and either look out the window or watch you two's interactions. A strange feeling of warmth in his chest.

When the old lady decided to leave you to finishing the meat loaf so she could go get dressed, however, he tried to strike up conversation with you. And he couldn't deny the feeling of accomplishment when you answered and kept the conversation going.

You yourself were surprised at the switch-up in Logan's behaviour, but it wasn't a bad surprise either. You found yourself smiling, as you got the meat loaf ready to put in the oven. Found yourself enjoying the exchange.

And as you allowed yourself to take in the atmosphere, - his presence in the room, his voice - for a moment, you felt like a kid back at the mansion.

All of a sudden, you were twelve again, chatting with your Logan in the institute's kitchen in the middle of the night, sipping on a glass of milk and laughing at the light-hearted teases he threw your way with a smirk.

At the same time,you were twenty-one, trying to make whatever dinner you could with the miserable amount of veggies and meat you could get with the money you guys had. Doing your best to make something tasty, something that would make the man once called the Wolverine feel at home when he came back from a long shift of driving, something Calliban would approve, something Charles wouldn't complain about eating..

You didn't know when you'd started crying. Didn't know when the feelings of grief, nostalgia and bittersweet reminiscence caught up to you, didn't know when silent sobs and warm tears started making your lower lip quiver and your hands shake.

But Logan did. He could practically smell the shift in your demeanor before he could even see your shoulders tense. Could feel the change in the aura around you before he heard the sobs you were choking back.

He didn't even think before he stood up, couldn't process what he was doing as he walked up to you. Acting on pure instincts, on a lull in his chest, he reached out before he could realize it. And in a matter of moments,his hands grasped your shoulders to turn you away from the counter and get you to face him. His arms slowly wrapped around you, pulled you into his chest, held you there with gentle firmness he didn't know he was capable of... And he just stayed there. Rested his chin on your head. Held you.

You were too stunned to say anything, too emotional to comprehend what was happening. The man before you, a shadow of the person you once called a father, a one to one copy of the figure in your memories, of the healthy, happy version of your dad, was right here and he was hugging you like you were his own, goddamn it.

How could you not hug back? It felt like he was here again, felt like he was alive. You almost forgot it wasn't your Logan, almost forgot that he was dead, that he wouldn't come back...

But it was Logan nonetheless. Not yours, but still Logan. And you couldn't help but try and lose yourself in the familiarity of those arms around you, the oh so bittersweet sound of the heart beating in his chest, of his breath fanning against your hair.

...And he let you.

You were breaking down even more now. When was the last time you felt safe enough to cry? The last time you allowed yourself to be the one being comforted, instead of the one comforting? You couldn't bare the answer, as you found yourself hugging him tighter, burying your face in his shirt...

You wanted to say it all. To explain, to thank, to apologise? You didn't know. But it all got lost somewhere deep within your heart, you couldn't make your voice work... So you just squeezed him,nuzzled your nose against the fabric of his shirt and cried harder. And when he squeezed back and let his hand run up and down your back, you knew he understood.

Logan wouldn't have known how to react, wouldn't have known how to comfort anyone else under these same circumstances. But it was you he was holding. And with you, it felt natural. Like he was made for the sole purpose of having you close, of being an anchor for you and Laura. Like the very thing he was missing all this time was what the version of him from this world had - a family.

And for the first time in his whole life, he let himself have it.

[gooeyyeehaw]

ofmd s2 spoilers !!

so two things i wanted to talk about that basically everyone is talking about, now that ive properly processed everything and need to officially get out of my system

i really really really wish the season had better, slower pacing. so much would happen before anyone could process anything and it took a loooot of thinking to truly understand some shit. i really really hope there's a season 3 with the proper amount of episodes as intended.

izzy's death - it truly felt so rushed. to be honest, i didn't even see him get shot at first, my eyes were on something else at the time, i think, but that's my fault. nevertheless, it felt so rushed, and i'm not mad, nor do i disagree with his death, but i wish it was executed better than it was. it felt brushed over, rushed, and he was too great a character to receive a death like that. it had me saying "what the fuck??" because his death was over in about two minutes. i'm not mad about how and when it took place, because it's just like real life, you don't get to choose when you get to live or die, especially in their business.

i did warm up to him and felt sad that he could finally recognize and declare his understanding of family and what it meant to be a part of the crew and never got to experience the warmth and joy of life; however, i think its okay that he died. con is a fantastic actor and his performance was astounding every scene. i think he deserved a better sending off and lucius and pete's wedding could have waited til season three, cuz that felt brushed over too.

stede and ed's inn - i used to not love this idea, more for a personal reason, the desire to have adventure in life. to not settle down and have fun all the time, to not conform to the normality and monotony of life. i get the emphasis about the brutality and harsh reality of the violence and mentality that comes with piracy, but it felt bittersweet especially with izzy's speech about what it meant to be a pirate and zys' offer to team up. it sounded fun. fun to be at sea with your found family, (on top of stede's long term love for the sea) and they were leaving that behind and it would just be then.

i later realized that them living together wouldnt necessarily mean theyre completely abandoning their old lifestyles. theyre just taking a break from the rough and tough shit they had just gone through, and they need it to work out their relationship and find themselves. to have some time alone. they might rejoin the crew and have fun sailing and shit, who knows. but it doesn't have to be that end forever. plus i like all the fun/funny ideas the fandom has come up with for the inn.

and ive seen the theories that if buttons can turn into a seagull, he'll turn izzy into a seagull OR izzy will come back as a ghost and haunt their inn OR they'll bring him back to life with magic.

just saying, the fandom was wrong about lucius living within the secret passages of the ship, please let them be wrong about that one.

[your-local-neighborhood-nerd]

BBC GHOSTS S5 CHRISTMAS SPOILERS AHEAD

So uhm

MAT BAYNTON AND JIM HOWICK DID BEN MFING WILLBOND POSSESS YOU TWO?! I BET HE GHOSTWROTE THIS EPISODE (pun not intended but very welcome)

- I knew from the start that this would have a bittersweet ending, and I knew it was something with Alison and Mike somehow leaving the house or the ghosts getting sucked off, but it still hits, y'know? (Although I'm glad no one got sucked off/moved on because I feel like that would have hurt more than anything)

- I've been seeing a few posts that this wasn't the best episode, and I totally agree. There was something kind of. .lacking? I don't know if that was intentional because of that mellow buildup to the end of the episode but yeah

- But I do love the scene where the ghosts realized they were just as bad as Betty, because that was when I realized where this episode was heading- SO I STARTED CRYING

- Wonderful PatCap in this episode though, I must say

- In my opinion, I really didn't like Kitty's jealousy storyline. I feel like over time in Button House while the Coopers lived there, she would have matured to at least be aware of *gestures to the baby*

- We got a double entendre Fanny joke from Cap, always love those

- THEN FANNY SAYING SHE SEES ALISON AS A DAUGHTER HELLO??? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

- Speaking of character development, all of the ghosts have grown so much. First, they wanted Alison out, not wanting to do anything with her or Mike. They all wanted to be alone (aka just be with each other). Then it transforms into something beautiful, they all become a family for the course of however many years. They've all had their moments, and it all comes full circle, the ghosts telling Alison that it's for the best that the Coopers leave, not out of malice, but out of love.

- Seeing elderly Mike and Alison was just a personal attack ISTGGGGG

- And then the very last scene is with Robin's monologue. The ghost that's been there the longest, the ghost that didn't feel the Christmas spirit at the start of the episode, ends it all off.

But of course, I count on the Six Idiots, my favorite group of writers/actors, to make me cry

Goodbye BBC Ghosts <3

[ivys-valentine]

…

Hi! So I thought I would try to write some Astarion fanfic since BG3 and the pale elf himself have been latched onto my mind. However, I have never written fanfic or really anything before. Apart from some cringey entries in my diary when I was younger.

Anyway, I kind of just jumped into this out of nowhere. I intended for it to be about one thing but then I got so focused on what I had so I hope it isn't too messy to read. Potentially would like to write more in the future but just thought I would at least try this out yk. I reallyyyy hope that I didn't trail away from Astarions personality too much and that I did him/the game justice.

If you have any suggestions etc. I would be happy to hear them. Right! Enjoy!

******

Bittersweet Escape

Established relationship|Non ascended Astarion|Possible spoilers|After Cazador|Lotsa sad feelings|Astarion x f!Tav | 600+ words

Even as a Baldurian, Lower City can be intimidating and exhausting. Chaos runs rampant across the city. Tensions soar so high, in anticipation of the Absolute, that one feels as though they can almost see it in the air.

After defeating the bastard Cazador Szarr, Tav contemplates the turmoil Astarion must be experiencing. The loss of a life once known; Of a life once controlled and the loss of a life that could have been.

Tav knows that persuading Astarion to not ascend was the right decision. That if he had, Astarion would never be himself or have the opportunity to be better. The seven thousand souls sacrificed could never make up for the destruction of his own. But even so, her mind was plagued with guilt.

Constant “what ifs” battled around her illithid-infested brain. Her beloved would perhaps be soon unable to feel the loving warmth of the sun against his pale elfish skin. He may be cast into the shadows once more. Her heart hammers in pain for the life they must mourn. Amongst these feelings, Tav internally declares she be damned to the Nine Hells if she doesn't try her hardest to do everything and anything she can to help him.

A click of a tongue, “You're so adorable when you're thinking what to say.”

Tav, startled and momentarily confused, glances up to notice a soft smirk on an observant Astarion. A brief moment passes as Astarion awaits Tav to fully re-enter reality. “Would you like sharing what's invading that wonderful mind?-” A now cheekier smirk, “other than the illithid of course.”

Tav shakes her head whilst the faintest smile creeps atop her lips. Their eyes meet and a look of adoration is shared between them both. With this, Tav manages to temporarily shove these thoughts to the back of her mind while focusing on the most important thing she knows to be true at this very moment. - Astarion is here. He is free from any additional cruelty of Cazador. And he is safe. Or at least as safe as they can be in their rented room at the Elfsong Tavern.

The faint smile slowly fades. “It was terrifying seeing you in that ritual Astarion. I was so afraid I was going to lose you and I was also slightly angry at myself for entertaining this idea of confrontation.” Tav pauses, deeply breathing in and attempting to relax her muscles, “I know it had to be done but Gods Astarion, what if I had lost you forever? What if-”

Astarion furrows his brows thoughtfully before interrupting her, “Darling, I appreciate your concern - truly. However, I am eternally thankful for your help and belief in me. Regardless of the outcome, this was something I needed to do. For the first time in 200 years, I had the opportunity to face the man who stripped away my life. The man who took away my autonomy. A man who doomed thousands of others and used me to help. Had that encounter ended up much differently than it did - I believe that I would still be grateful for that final opportunity to face him with the freedom I finally had. An opportunity I would not have had, if not for your help and trust. So please, my sweet, allow those worries to rest, even just momentarily, but long enough that we can appreciate our victory and decimate some gods awful wine.”

She dryly swallows and nods before coming to stand before him. Their eyes meet again, interlocked with understanding. Hesitantly, Tav reaches for his hand, planting a timid but ever-loving kiss upon it. Quickly, she glances up at him to gauge his reaction; when she sees his body relax, she reaches up to cup his face with both hands. Once again, eyes intimately interlocking before she sweetly smiles and rests her forehead against his.

[scalamore]

(Spoilers/Speculation) Tori

This is purely speculation on my part, but there's a chance that Tori's "ending" will be different in the manhwa than the novel. I say this, because Tori has gotten more focus in the manhwa thus far compared to the novel, and she's written in a way where the audience is intended to feel sympathetic to her situation. Here, it's more obvious there's a discrepancy to her: she cares about Lari/Rupert, but at the same time she doesn't. All the extra focus on the ribbon Lari gave her in S2 serves to show how "the sweet Tori" is still there. During the main story, she dies and is "finally at peace" during the rebellion. The whole point of that is that her suffering has ended, she no longer has to be compelled to obey orders from Eva forever anymore, and she's finally "free" (a big theme of the series is one's freedom and ability to make one's own decisions and choices). She doesn't appear in the first set of side stories (the epilogue), but has a small mention in the end, and a year and a half later, when the second set of side stories were released, she makes an appearance again as a "pure, untainted.... person (?)".

As a big fan of the series, I felt thematically the second set of side stories and Tori's inclusion and reasurrection kinda cheapens the theme of the main story - The end of the main story is supposed to be bittersweet, how you can't save everyone, and there is always a loss amongst the success. Eva had a tight hold of Rupert and Tori - and at least Rupert was able to escape her clutches. Tori had already died before the start of the series, was "living" as an alchemic doll for years, and lived long enough to have her thoughts and personality distorted by Eva's command for destruction. Since she had already died, there's no way she can return to being a human, which is what she truly wanted - she wanted to grow up and become and adult. But her other wish, is to be free and see RupeLali happy. During Lari's talk no jutsu, in that moment, Tori made her decision to stop listening to Eva, for RupeLali's sake. She then completely broke down shortly after - it was inevitable she would. Meanwhile, in the second side story which takes place an unknown amount of time later, her blue eagle core crystal had been absorbing the Holy City's holy energy in that lake for years, and she somehow manifests a physical body again?? (Her alchemic body dissolved into dust, leaving the crystal behind) and she lived for a period of time as a mysterious girl in the middle of the lake?? She had all her memories but didn't remember them until she conveniently meet Ellie and Rupert? It took Lari some more talk-no-jutsu and she immediately stopped trying to murder Rupert, and now they're all a happy family eating dinner together with Louis at the dinner table?? Tori now travels the world and acts like an auntie who sends souvenirs back to Ellie, yet still physically looks like a 9 year old? She's not a human, nor an alchemic doll... what is she then??? It's great at the very end Tori is now alive, has a family, a place to belong, is now happy and free to do whatever she wants, but I didn't like how RupeLali forgave her so easily (as well as her trying to murder Ellie and Rupert again), and forgetting how much trouble she caused in the main story... and she somehow was resurrected through some unexplainable reason to get a super happy ending, tied up with a nice bow.

I didn't like how kind Lari was, crying for Tori in the side stories as well and missing her so much: Did she forget how many times Tori tried to frame or kill her?? or threaten her?? Did Rupert forget that Tori had intentionally withheld info about Lari's plans to disappear while he was freaking out where she was that night? Or that she was the one who was going around spreading rumors Lari was a slut or framed her for poisoning him? I'm keeping appropriate expectations for the inevitable moment they give Tori a happy ending in S4 >_> *grumbles*

[naoxm]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

ִ ࣪𖤐 Old memories of you

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

𐔌  .  Just as usual, Phainon would come over to your apartment to clean up your bedroom, only to find a certain old camera in one of the boxes....  ⸝⸝  ୧

♡ . — ꒰ Cws ꒱

phainon x reader, angst, hurt no comfort, gender natural reader, no use of yn, reader is bad at feeling, mentioned of suicide, no happy ending, bittersweet, no spoilers, childhood friends to lovers, out of character, past character death, modern au

˖ ֹ੭୧ Part Two ⊹ ࣪ ⑅

.𖥔 ݁ ˖╭ ┆Maybe, I will see you again, love ╰⊹ ࣪

˗ˏˋ ꒰ In the end, I still couldn't move on ꒱ ˎˊ˗

──── ୨୧ ────

It's been three years since the day you took your own life.

When the news reached Phainon, he was completely speechless, panicking, begging to see you one more time before they would take you away.

He hasn't been his usual self since then, from a bundle of joy to a cold stranger barely recognized. Phainon hadn't taken care of himself. He feels empty without your company, which makes people around him worry about him.

Every single night before bed, he asked himself; why didn't you tell him about your feelings? Why didn't you come to anyone to seek comfort and help? Why did you decide to take your own life, when you have the future ahead of you?

But of course, some questions remained unanswered.

His parents decided to seek a counselor for him to move on, and it took him months to be back to his usual self. But yet, he couldn't deny that his life hasn't been great since the day you left him.

One day, your parents decided to offer Phainon that he could clean your room, to which he immediately agreed without hesitation. It has become his weekly daily since. Whenever he comes over, he would clean and tidy your room up without missing a single spot of dust. Sometimes, he would find himself staying longer than he should or falling asleep on your bed while hugging your shirt. He wished he could stay here, but he knows he can't. He has been doing this for three years now.

One day, as usual, he came to visit your parents, clean up your room, stay longer than he should and go back home. Or so he thought.

While cleaning your cabinet, he accidentally found a small box filled with dust. Has it always been here? Curiosity got ahead of himself and he immediately grabbed it while sitting on the edge of your bed.

There is some sort of sticky note on it. His eyes widened in shock when he realized what it is for.

'For my dearest Phainon.''

This box was actually meant for him? How come you didn't give it to him, or did you never intend to? But yet he feels something bitter in his chest. He actually found something after those years. Phainon took a deep breath before slowly opening the box.

An old camera, the one you used to have back in your childhood. He remembers how you usually would bring it with you whenever the two of you are hanging out.

Then, he found the photos of your shared moments with him. From kindergarten to college. He can't believe it. You still actually kept them.

One picture was when the two of you are playing together in the sand back when you two are still kids, making a huge sandcastle together and proudly taking a picture of it.

Another was in elementary school, Phainon was dressing up as a knight while you dress up as a princess for the school's play. He still remembers how nervous you were when you stood up on stage, but Phainon reassured you, that he was there with you.

Another is a high school graduation photo with your friend group. He noticed how wide your smile is while holding his arms, making a peace sign for the photo while he's completely a blushing mess, staring at you in disbelief.

Phainon is on the verge of crying right now while holding the photos. He can't believe that you keep something precious for such a long time. He's glad that there's actually something that will remind him of you other than the remains of your room.

Then, his eyes wandered to a certain picture, it was your first date with him when you two started dating. He holds it like it was the most precious thing in the world. He was kissing your cheeks when you were busy eating your ice cream, completely caught off by his sudden affection. His tears fell onto the pictures, making wet stains as he turned it around to see some words written on it.

'The sun of my life.''

Phainon broke down on the spot trying to wipe his tears away using his arms, but yet it never stopped. Oh how much he misses you dearly, how much he wants to whisper 'I love you' in your ears, holding you tightly and never letting you go.

In the end, he still hasn't moved on. He swore that he'll never fall in love again other than you, his beloved guiding star.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[arachnopoda]

I personally don't like the ending to How I Met Your Mother- and here's why

Okay I know this is a popular opinion I keep seeing online- but apart from everybody who seems to be split down the Robin x Ted ship and the Robin x Barney ship- I think there's more reasons as to why the ending just didn't feel complete, or like a proper ending for how the show should have ended

And seeing how I have rewatched the entire show once again for probably the third or fourth time- here's my own analysis of why the ending didn't really hit home for me!

[Spoiler warning for the entirety of How I Met Your Mother]

*this is also 100% my opinion- so my analysis is less objective and more personal- no hate intended with this post!

The first main argument I see online with season 9- is that the ending was insanley rushed and basically wrapped up in a single final episode. And honestly, I agree with that argument- since that ending di come out of almost nowhere, constrasing the buildup that had been established at the beginning of season 9. And for me, that's the main issue with the ending- the disharmony between the ideas and concepts introduced at the start of season 9 and the end.

With the start of season 9, establishing Barney and Robin's wedding, they spend pretty much the entirety of this last season displaying the growth they faced as individuals, and especially- as a couple. Barney is the most obvious example of a character undergoing development- going from a socipoathic man who'd do 'plays' and sleep with god-knows-how-many women- to a man who got over the fear of marriage, accepted the idea of commitment, and overall- a character who understand that love wasn't just a series of one-night-stands. And who even transformed his tendancy of lying to trick women, into using it to lovingly surprise Robin.

And Robin, while not displaying such a strong change in her character, also displayed development. To accept her emotions, and even help at times. But regardless- she gains a lot of benefit from learning how to overcome multiple issues while with Barney at the wedding.

That being said- the final few episodes kind of throw most of this out of the window. Where the entire season had displayed Robin and Barney growing as a couple, and as individual characters- seems to entirely backslide back in the final episodes.

It wouldn't have mattered much if the last episodes were taken in a vaccum- that they seemed to mirror the behaviors and flow of a season 1 episode. And sure, there was foreshaddowing for Ted with the locket debacle- but when I had watched it for the first time, the locket felt more like the final chapter to Robin as Ted's love interest.

Because in reality, love is complicated. There are many times where relationships just don't work out and yet- some people will always have those last remaining feelings for a person that is behind a door long closed and locked. That's what it felt like for me- since at the same time you had the balancing of introducing the actual mother of the series. Introducing really strong, chatracter-building moments with every single member of the core cast of characters, displaying an almost 'soul-mate-like' bond the mother had with each member of the gang.

That's also partially why this ending felt cheap. That she was built up to be the perfect woman, and that despite this confusing love story Ted has told- it had a bittersweet ending. That finally, the children got to hear the story about how Ted met their mother- and was used as an act of rememberence on her (since she was revealed to have died), rather than an 'opportunity has opened to get with Robin- finally'.

I did like the idea of the constant blue horn that went throughout the seasons- and that the entire series started with Robin, rather with the introduction of the mother. But if that was how the ending was meant to be- then Robin's introduction as the 'aunt' should have been kept a bit more ambigious, and season 9 should not have been the wedding between Robin and Barney- considering how much time was spent developing them.

And of course, considering how Robin and Barney had first gotten together turned out to be trainwreck- the show decided to give not only their relationship another go, and helped them grow as a couple instead of being insanely dysfunctional. But if Robin and Ted were always 'destined' to end up together, then they should have taken a different route which developed Robin and Ted more as a romantic duo. This would give them the opportunity to solve the problems that prevent them from being a couple- instead of doing that exact strategy with Barney and Robin. And in doing so- having the mother instead seperated instead of dead would allow the story to feel a bit more grounded in real life- instead of a cheap kind of 'easy-staple-solution' to get Ted and Robin together in the end.

Personally, I don't mind whoever Robin ends up with- I'm not super swayed towards her ending up with Barney or Ted- but I do want the story to feel comfortable enough to choose one love interest, and to stick with an ending that would feel the most complete. Whether that is Ted ending up with the long-awaited ending with Robin- or accepting the loss of that relationship, and accepting/reminicing the death of his wife- who lets face it- needed a lot more screentime since she did seem perfect for Ted.

Anyways! That's kind of the view I had for the ending of How I Met Your Mother- and why personally, I was unhappy with how it concluded (and how the ending didn't seem to stick it's landing).

[st-helga]

Okay finished serial experiment Lain. For the first time, actually. I do not know how but I think on my first watch through I just. Skipped the last episode. I watched it like a year ago now I think so I honestly don't remember what was going through my head. Not knowing yhe true ending did however just make it hit me harder like a bowling ball to the stoumach. I always remembered it ending with alice and Lain comforting each other but not anymore.

Spoilers below

Okay this post will just be about the ending cause I have a lot of thoughts. Good?bad? I dunno just thoughts. In no particular order. Sorry if these ramblings dont make sense it is like 3am as I write these

I like the stuff they do with the reseting/redoing the timelines. I really did miss all of that on my first watch. I think Alice ending up married to her teacher is a little weird but I get it "ideal" timeline. I don't love it but i'll accept it.(for now. I will however complain about this later) Another thing I don't love but can accept is Lains story ultimately being one of sacrifice. I saw someone say something about it being a happy ending because Lain is able to connect with anyone anywhere. But like i felt like the ending of episode 12 was meant to show us that is very much not true and Lain needs real connection. I feel like again and again we see Lain being off to the side of a larger group and this feels like the most extreme manifestation of that. Being able to watch as her friends grow up while she doesn't. She can talk to them but seems unable to make a true connection. Her being a part of the collective human conciousness is of course differant from being a part of the wired but it still feels like the connections she can make are hollow. Which I guess is maybe why it's a sacrifice. But also the idea of lain doomed to be unable to make a true connection with others is just really fucking sad. I dont know what else to say. Maybe I would've had a differant reaction if I went in expectinf a bittersweet ending.

Also I wasn't gonna say this but thinking back and reading what other people have said I do feel like it's kinda implied alice and the teacher had a weird affair thing. It looks like their isn't like a singular answer but idk that was the vibe I got from there interactions. Certainely moresothen her just having a crush on him. I don't know how the writers wanted me to interpret Alice getting together with the teacher at the end but like even if he didn't basically groom her it's still weird and makes me second guess if this reality is really the "perfect" one. Or just perfect through the eyes of Lain.

Okay now we're gonna transition into my alternate analysis of the ending which may or may not be anything similar to what was intended. In these kinda situations all I can do is shrug and let my interpretation trump truth. Is this what the writers intended? Probably not but the way in which lain just dismisses her alt persona, Alice's relationship with the teacher, Her dad and alice both having bits where they seem to notice her absence before writing it off for one reason or another. This "timeline" just feels a little wrong. And I think the catalyst for a lot of this is Lains supression of her other self. What I believe in this context to be the manifestation of Lains selfish desires, which is only made null after suggesting rebooting reality so Alice can be an active participant once more, what Lain probably interprets as stealing everyones happiness for her own sake. In addition to being her selfish desires I think the other lain is a lot of parts of lain that she isn't particularly fond of. the impact the wired has had on Lain as a person, the maturity being forced upon her by those around her, and like on a more basic level the manifestation of her id (which I like due to how it matches with the final episode being named Ego).

The main thing going against this interpritation is other lain starting of their final conversation being pro pseudo-existance. However most of her reasons for being pro pseudo existance is still very selfish basic reasons. Fear of being looked down upon. Fear of being judged, fear of causing others to be hurt. She never sayss anything like "they're happier like this" cause she still doesn't care about that she cares about lain not being forced to be involve in the world (which feels like a callback to the repeat theme of apathy being preferred over the pain of participation). Only when it became obvious that lain wasn't happy like this did other Lain suggest rebooting the world. Which, of course caused her to be basically suppressed by Lain, pushing down the side of her that she sees as selfish for wanting to take away everyones happiness.

Assuming this theory is true it kinda changes my interpretation of the last few scenes. Lain starts off just off to the side watching being being noticed by Alice. even if she doesn't have any direct memories of Lain she still recognises her. Moreso then other characters who remember her, Alice seems to still be actively drawn to her wether she knoes why or not. On top of that the line "maybe we'll meet again someday" gives me hope even if it is false hope. note how lains response to Alice saying "maybe we'll meet again someday" is "we can SEE each other anytime". A line is being drawn between lain seeing/watching from the side and actually having an interaction with them even now. Implying she is still very much in the camp of self sacrifice for the "greater good".

When Alice and the teacher walk off their footsteps are drowned out by the hum of a motorcycle. Soon after it cuts ti the humming of the telephone wires which also feels like a very intentional parallel. this world much like the wired isn't perfect and is really just a method Lain uses to guard herself. Also Idk if this is intentional or an audio error but the motorcyle being cut out when Lain says that she and alice can see each other any time feels like on some level her pushing back against the sacrificial role she has been put into. But idk. Lain herself doesnt seem to be willing to reboot just yet but there seems to be a voice inside her still which is for it even if it isn't the "morally right" thing to do.

Lastly. I wanna give my interpretation of Lains message at the end right before the outro plays. Ill just say, I think this is other Lain. Mostly because of this message being given to us through a green tinted screen. (Green being a color usually associated with both other lain and the wired in general). is meant to tell us that no matter how much she supresses it Lain still has that part of her inside her. The selfish part of her which wants to live even if she doesn't feel like she deserves to.

"I'll always be right here. I'm right next to you. Forever"

Started rewatching Serial experiment Lain last night. Im about halfway through and plan to finish it tonight.

I watched it when I just finishes Watamote because people acted like they were similar even though they aren't outside of being about socially isolated preteen girls. So like I didn't really have the most realistic expectations going in, that combined with me watching the mixed quality english dub really hurt my enjoyment of it. Not that I didn't enjoy it just like not as much as I could've.

So far however on a rewatch i've been liking it a lot. I haven't finished it yet so I'm not gonna go into depth with it but it's really hitting differant. I love how everyone who isn't directly involed in the wire has the same sorta apathetic "leave me out of it" mindset. Apathy seems to be a central theme here, her mom just going 😐 after lain tells her about the email stuff, her friends treating the shooting at the night club they were present for like a scene from a movie, her dad even noticing Lain becoming addicted to the wire until Mika directly points it out to him. there is probably more examples but thats what hit me while watching.

I also love the little "present day hehe, present time Ahahahaha!!!" that plays at the start of every episode. I'll make another post about what I think the show is "about"/ what themes stood out to me after I finish it.

[danwhobrowses]

3 Ways I Think One Piece Could End

Well, since Shonen Jump has forced a break out of One Piece, I thought I'd throw another rare theory video into the mix.

Aside from the Pan D. Aman joke post I made a while back, I haven't wanted to think about how One Piece would end, but with Wano looking to wrap up next chapter and the final saga beginning, the final chapters will soon be upon us before we know it.

So, in the times I have thought about One Piece ending, I'm throwing 3 ways I feel One Piece could end, and be satisfying doing so

Potential Spoilers up ahead, probably best to be up to date with at least the anime (ep.1028), probably as early as Ep.1000 tops

To start I'm going to point out that I firmly DON'T believe that the story will end with Luffy finding the One Piece, I think there will be a little bit after that. This is mainly because Whitebeard and Rayleigh have noted that finding the One Piece will turn the world upside down, so there will likely be a considerable fallout from finding the One Piece too.

With the likes of the Yonko and at the least Kid also gunning for the One Piece, there will likely be a convergence when the Straw Hats arrive to Laugh Tale anyway, which will potentially lead to the grandest and greatest battle of the series.

With that in mind, I will rank the 3 in which is most satisfying to me as a finale, so let's start with No.3

3 - Luffy Bets his Straw Hat on the Next Generation

I'm sure we all expect that Luffy is 98% likely to not be able to return his hat to Shanks as he intends or that he will still manage to keep it under some circumstance, and will then pass it onto another like him to pass on his will. I see this probable within a timeskip of probably aged 40 Luffy in the good timeline hanging with his crew all still happy and well, so the recipient is unlikely to be Momo or Tama or Makino's son.

It works story-wise as a cyclic ending, much less bittersweet than the possibility of Luffy repeating Roger's antics that triggered the era in death, but I rank this the least because it'd feel too obvious, too tidy and would imply that all the things we don't see the Straw Hats achieve were simply achieved off-screen. I'd also worry for the fan peer pressure Oda may be subjected to if he left the possibility of a legacy sequel.

2 - The Straw Hat Pirates Disband

A sad ending it may be, but I could clearly see Luffy imitating Roger's pose in this part of the manga having completing everything he set out to do. There would be a finality in the adventure ending, not just for Luffy, but for Oda and the audience.

This would very much be a 'smile because it happened, not because it's over' kind of endings, but I rank it higher than Luffy giving his hat away because of it being a proper ending, preventing the sequel threat the previous had while also maintaining the cyclic nature of imitating Roger rather than Shanks.

1 - The Adventure Doesn't End

A cheat you say? Wishful thinking you accuse? Well I told you this was ranked on most satisfying to me, didn't I?

Finding Laugh Tale and the One Piece is a given, but do we expect Luffy to achieve his dream of Pirate King, become the freest person in the world, and do nothing with it? There's also the matter that other crewmates' dreams don't simply end by finding Laugh Tale; Nami's map of the world would be incomplete, Chopper would have diseases still to cure, there will still be more history for Robin to discover, more sea to sail for Franky on his ship, more joy to spread from music for Brook and food for Sanji, and more stories for Usopp to regale.

This is why I like this option the best, because the end of one story, one dream, one voyage, isn't the end of everything, the crew are now free to seek more; more dreams, more islands, more lies to come true

The story of 'One Piece' may be over, but an open-ended finale of the Straw Hats setting sea again, plotting a new route around the world this time, would probably be my ideal ending for them, and something more on brand for Luffy to do. While the sequel pressure is still there, in a way the open end allows the fans the freedom to make the crew's next journey(s) their own way

And on to a New Adventure.

[systemdump]

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review

I finished RDR2 a few weeks back now, so the review is long overdue. Buckle up.

Unlike most games I review, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I booted up RDR2. I knew a fair amount of the story prior to playing; being one of the biggest games out there, I knew the fate of Arthur Morgan. Spoilers were inevitable. However, I did not know about his journey to that point, so I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered its narrative. I tried to start this game back in July 2021, but I stopped before the first chapter ended as I didn't feel compelled by the story. With this in mind, I decided to give it another shot. If it turned out I still didn't like it, then no biggie. It's just not for me.

Story

RDR2 is a tragic story. A tale of a man who is self-loathing and morally ambiguous (depending on how you play him) who inevitably wants what's best for everyone. He is someone who cares a whole lot, and none of it is reserved for himself. His guilt for his unlawfulness rears its ugly head when he becomes ill. Making amends isn't so easy, especially when he is who he is. Not only does he have TB, but the gang is falling apart. I loved the togetherness the gang provided, especially socialising at camp. Engaging with members made the story more immersive.

Regarding the ending. I would be lying if I said I didn't cry. There's something bittersweet about his death. He knew it was coming and he never once looked behind him. He wanted desperately to see the good in Dutch, the man who raised him since he was a boy. However, Micah was a parasite that latched onto the gang, polluting Dutch. Once a man who had some form of morality to his killings was now running wild. The true TRUE ending, however, was lovely. I'm happy John managed to make it out, even if we know he doesn't stick around for much longer with the events of rdr1.

Combat

Combat was okay. I think something is satisfying about pulling the bolt and getting a clean headshot. Meanwhile, it was unforgiving in places. The trigger between interaction and open fire was a thin line. I shot people many, many times when I intended to speak with them. The gunplay is great. I love the customisation it allows you to really make the gun your own. Melee combat was something I rarely used outside of missions. Usually, it was the result of running into someone, or a bar fight that started randomly. RDR2's combat isn't the shining beacon of the game and I think it acknowledges that.

The World

This is where the bells and whistles are at. As some of you may know, I am a big fan of huge open word games. I love immersive RPGs that let you take this world and make it your own. Even if you aren't someone influential, like Jin Sakai in GOT, your actions still have an impact. And even when they do, the world still moves on without the player present. You are not the sole progressor of the world. Continuity was well established, with rewards for helping people on the road. The random encounters in this game were super fun. I also loved the amount of detail that was put into the world. The interior of the shops in particular really stood out to me. Actually picking stuff off the shelves? Unheard of. Not for Rockstar, though. Not only is the world immersive, it's also stunning. From the swamps of Saint Denis to the snow-capped peaks, it truly is breathtaking. You can tell that a lot of care was put into the creation of this map.

Final Thoughts

I love this game. Truly. It's now near the top of my list. It's an experience that I enjoyed thoroughly, and will likely return to in the distant future. There's no surprise as to why RDR2 is considered one of Rockstar's greatest accomplishments. Maybe one day GTA6 will top this masterpiece.

[willmarstudios]

Bookworm Will Review 2023 (#9)

Title: 'A Scatter of Light'

Author: Malinda Lo

Rating: 5 / 5

Review: (MILD SPOILERS)

I absolutely loved 'Late Night At the Telegraph Club' so I was thrilled to finally get my hands on Lo's companion novel!

The story itself was rather bittersweet and truly another story about self-discovery and some harsh realities about expectations. I didn't see a whole lot of connections/throwbacks to Late Night, but it was still a really great stand-alone novel, so you really didn't need to read them in any particular order. Aria is a distant niece of Lily (the protagonist from Late Night) who was a victim of slut shaming by her peers and her family, more so her mother, but after the event took place has to spend her summer with her grandmother. Its not labeled a punishment, but its more so intended to be a 'think about what you've done and learn from your mistakes' situation.

To be fair, I was so pissed that the dude who got her into this situation got away free without any punishment. Its such a hard thing to read about, but its relevancy is something that is still timely to today and needs to be handled better. He's a fucking douchebag and needs to take accountability, but I'm digressing.

Joan is Aria's grandmother who lives alone, but does a lot of art and begins to influence Aria by getting her back into art and using it as a way to help her understand her feelings/emotions. I am a huge fan of this concept of art therapy so I was thrilled to read all the illustrative descriptions and conversations between Joan and Aria about art.

While there, Aria meets Steph, Joan's gardener, who basically helps Aria challenge a lot of self-feelings regarding her life up to this summer. Steph introduces Aria to the queer community of California and thus begins the relatable internal conflict of self-discovery which is always interesting to read because everyone experiences it differently. There were so many external factors influencing Aria and it really kept me engaged as a reader, despite some initial choices made by the characters.

That being said, up and after Joan's death, we as readers, really got to indirectly experience a lot of grief, regret and some bitters from reality showing us that not everything can be/have a happy ending, but can influence our growth as individuals.

Overall a really emotional and reflective read!

[kyanitedragon]

Gonna try to answer these with no spoilers!

❤️: Power is Best Girl! She's very funny and entertaining, and I enjoy just how different she is from your typical supporting female character.

💔: Himeno really squicks me out with her whole coming-onto-teenagers thing. I really wish it was at least handled more seriously in the manga, if not taken out entirely. It ruins her whole character for me, which is a shame because otherwise she's really neat!

💕: Platonic Denji and Power! They're so cute, and I'm so happy that they stayed platonic the entire manga!

📖: The Bomb Girl arc is my favorite arc! I really enjoyed Reze as a character and her relationship with Denji, and Beam and Aki & Angel also had some great moments!

🚫: Not really, since I tend to stay away from the toxic sides of all fandoms.

📺: I really wish we got an actual trailer instead of a pre-animated trailer, as well as a release date, but I'm still really excited! I don't think we have anything to worry about, and I'm sure it'll be a good adaptation!

👺: Bomb Girl was able to do a lot with her powers! From detatching and exploding any part of her body, to forming her limbs into various explosives.

👤: I'd probably be a human with a Devil friend, like Denji and Pochita at the very beginning

🫀: My top favorite scene would probably have to be the dumpster scene with Power and Denji because of how cute yet bittersweet it was.

As for quotes, it's this scene in the Eternity Devil arc:

✏️: It's in my top 3, next to Tokyo Ghoul and Noragami!

🧠: I actually technically read it when it first came out. Chapter 1 came out right after Tokyo Ghoul had ending, and the whole TG fandom was looking for a new manga and tried out Chainsaw Man. I kept up for several weeks and enjoyed the start, but I slowly lost interest during the slow pace of the Bat Devil Arc. Then I didn't read it for a few years until I decided to catch up. With much more story to get to, I ended up liking and appreciating the story a lot more than when I first tried it.

📚: Since CSM, I've read a chapter or two of Fire Punch and intend to finish it one day, and I've read most of his one-shots, like "Yogen no Nayuta" and "Niwa ni wa niwa niwatori ga ita", which is named after a japanese tongue twister.

🌼: To have the level of determination that Denji does, as well as his unique but effective approach to problems

💭: I hope to see Quanxi make some appearances, Reze to show up and go to school with Denji, and lots of cute found family content with single dad Denji, Nayuta, and their cat and dogs.

🖤: I think that other anime female characters are prettier than Makima is. Even in Chainsaw Man, I think Quanxi and Reze are prettier than she is, so I don't quite get the extreme level of simping for her

🤍: ALL OF THEM. Denji and Aki especially, but even Makima herself deserved better than what she became

🤡: The Himeno scenes with Denji and underage Aki were pretty uncomfortable and the comedic framing made it worse

💲: I'm more than content with the two we got. Aki would be fun to complete the family, and Makima's design would be really neat to have a figure of. And matching Reze and Quanxi figures with their respective hybrid forms to match the Denji nendroid would be awesome too!

📈: I'm pretty excited! I generally prefer watching to reading so I'm glad that people who may not like to or be able to easily read manga will get to experience the story, especially since the adaptation seems like it'll be faithful and well-animated. I'm totally going to force my anime-only friends to watch it when it airs! On the flip side, I'm certain the fanbase is going to be terrible, but like always I'll be sticking to the non-toxic sides

🌹: It's not really important to me in a personal way, but I appreciate and really enjoy all the symbolism and depth to the story, and I can't wait to see how much further it goes in Part 2. My favorite symbolism in the story is probably the Country Mouse vs City Mouse symbolism, because it was compared to so many characters as well as mice themselves.

👀: The running joke with Kobeni's car is hilarious, and I'll never get over just how fitting it is for Kobeni's character

chainsaw man ask game!

❤️: who is your favorite character? why?

💔: is there any character you dislike? why?

💕: do you have any ships? if so, what made you start shipping them together?

📖: do you have a favorite chapter or arc?

🚫: is there anything you dislike about the fandom?

📺: how do you feel about the upcoming anime?

👺: which devil do you think has the best power(s)?

👤: in the csm universe, do you think you would be a human devil hunter, fiend, devil, or hybrid?

🫀: which is your most memorable scene or quote?

✏️: do you rank chainsaw man among one of your favorite mangas? why or why not?

🧠: do you remember why or when you started chainsaw man?

📚: have you read any of fujimoto's other works?

🌼: is there any character you admire or aspire to be?

💭: what do you think about chainsaw man pt. 2? do you have any expectations, hopes, fears, etc?

🖤: do you find any character overrated?

🤍: do you think any character deserved better?

🤡: is there any chapter/arc/character/etc you wish was handled differently? alternatively, do you have any complicated feelings about something in the manga?

💲: is there any character you really wish was a nendoroid? or if your character is already a nendoroid, do you plan on getting them?

📈: how do you feel about the manga's increased popularity? are you dreading or excited for the influx of new fans thanks to the upcoming anime?

🌹: is chainsaw man's symbolism important to you? if so, are there any specific symbolic elements that you think about a lot?

👀: share your favorite csm meme!

💌: (free space to talk about anything in the manga!)

[topherfoxtrot]

Nosy neighborhood

(or a reflection on the bittersweet nature of nostalgia)

What about a one shot about a tv show I never watched? It sounds fun doesn't it? Well it contains spoilers for the third Webisode of the walking dead called "The Oath" released in 2013. It can be easily found on Vimeo. Trigger warnings include grief and pessimism. Also I wrote this one on first person because I just think first person writing is neat😄

Everyone was gathered in the building that used to be a church. Except from the obvious architecture though you couldn't even tell. Even the beautiful stained glass was mostly gone. And there was no giant wooden cross in sight. Only tables full of food, drinks, and of course the band composed of four singing voices, an acoustic guitar, two saxophones, half a set of drums, a fucking button accordion, a xylophone and a def. Basically every instrument the scavengers could find over the years. Since the world has ended our neighborhood united to form a urban fortress.

I was in a corner with some friends not really interested in the conversation. My eyes scanned the whole place looking for the handsome, tall man with his long blonde straight hair. When I finally spotted Paul grabbing some food I whispered without actually intending to.

"There you are!"

"What?" One of my friends followed my eyes, "Oh my god are you really going after the man?"

"Dude is just introvert!" Another friend rolled his eyes, "That's why he is always in his basement."

"That is simply not true!" I said, "Y'all know how much I hate people, alive or otherwise, and yet I'm always here for our sunday gatherings."

"You know what?" my friend finished her beer before continuing, "Fucking go after him. If it turns out he's just lonely you will get my cleaning shifts for the whole month. And if you find a big secret of his or whatever I'll get yours. How about that?"

"It sounds like a deal!" Me and my friend shook hands with smiles on our faces.

"I can't believe you're going to bother the poor man just because he likes to eat by himself." My other friend shook his head in disapproval before smiling too, "But anyways if you find anything please spill the beans to us!"

"Gotcha!" I winked at them before making my move.

Paul put a lot of food inside an old Tupperware and walked towards the door like he usually did. I moved between the people trying to avoid being seen by him. Paul briefly talked to one or two people before leaving. I left the church a little after, making sure to give him time to step further from the door.

Most of the people were at the church so the streets were empty. I sneaked around corners and alleys and cars like I did so many times outside the walls. I still remember before the outbreak when not everyone needed to be a soldier in order to survive. It's been almost seven years but I still caught myself getting nostalgic sometimes.

I followed Paul for a few blocks. Housing was an issue in our community. Over the years more people started to come and babies started to be born once we reached a certain stability. Paul was one of those people who duo to his efforts towards the community gained the privilege to live on his own instead of in one of the communal houses like I did. He was one of the scavenging teachers after all. And my favorite one, I might add.

Besides being handsome he was also super quiet about anything that didn't concerned the classes. And to become a survivor as good as him you gotta have a past. We asked about it before but he always avoided the topic. This made me even more curious. I've always felt like he was hiding something and tonight I would finally figure out what!

It took a couple minutes for him to reach the big house with two floors and a front yard. Instead of entering the front door though he bypassed the house to enter through the basement door in the back. Paul lives in a basement just like a character from a book I read before the outbreak. Something about a woman watching her neighbours or something. I don't remember the details but I do remember one of the characters lived in a basement like Paul does.

I leaned on the wall and listened carefully as Paul opened the metal doors. After listening to his steps gradually fading as he went downstairs I sneaked into the entrance feeling glad he didn't lock it. I waited there for a while until I was confident Paul was distracted enough not to realize the sounds the doors would make. I opened just one door super slowly and checked every few seconds to see if there was any abrupt movements inside. When I closed the door behind me everything was in darkness expect for the light coming from one of the rooms. My hand instinctively reached for my gun but it wasn't there. I didn't carry my gun inside the walls.

I cursed myself in silence and started to walk downstairs. I wish I could see all the furniture Paul had but I couldn't announce my presence so my only option was to follow the light, which I did swiftly. I could hear a voice but it took me a while to make any sense of it.

"I know you would love those parties they make every Sunday." Paul's voice came from the only room with light, "We even had those back in the day, you remember?" He let out a deep sigh, "I still miss those days. We didn't have much like we do here, but we were happy, weren't we? I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything but I miss that, you know? I miss you, Karina."

There was not a sound to be heard expect for Paul's voice. The easiest explanation was that Paul was probably talking to a portrait ou painting like so many of us do. Death is such a common experience among the survivors. With this conclusion I could leave the house, but I wouldn't be satisfied. I wanted to know more about this Karina woman he was talking to. And about those old days.

I reached the entrance of the room but didn't dare to look inside. Instead I stayed there in silence, all my muscles stiffed. Quietly listening to Paul eating his dinner.

"Dominic talked to me again. You know, about the shifts and all that." Paul chuckled, "I'm not sure if we are just talking or flirting at this point. I know you are as terrible at this as I am but a little help would be good."

Paul chuckled again and a moan was heard. I felt my spine freeze as I obviously recognized the sound. A guttural and tired moan only a walker could make. I finally peeked into the room. There was no bed or beside table or any fortnite whatsoever. Paul was sat on a wooden chair eating his dinner with a fork. The most shocking thing though was the walker. The undead had it's arms tied tightly in a straightjacket. Saliva was falling from her mouth in the most grotesque waterfall I've ever seen. Paying special attention I realized her mouth was toothless. There was almost nothing left of hair in her head and the skin was this unnatural tone of grey. That walker was old. A thick chain kept it near the wall.

"What the fuck?" I whispered in terror.

Faster than I could even register Paul got up and pointed his revolver at me. I put my hands up and froze still.

"It's me! It's me! Please don't shoot."

It didn't seem like Paul would shoot me but he didn't put the gun down either. Instead he looked deep into my eyes. I tried to read him but as usual it was impossible to know what he was thinking.

"What are you doing here?" He asked finally with a deep voice.

"I... I was just-" the truth is that there was nothing to be said. I was there because I wanted to know what was up with him. And now I did.

"You shouldn't be here." He said firmly.

"I k-know!" I stuttered, "But you know what I'm already leaving, actually!"

"No!"

I stayed still. Paul took a deep sigh and finally put his gun down. The silence was only broken by the walker's unnerving sounds. Paul walked across the living room and brought a chair with him. Without saying anything he invited me to the room with the walker. I sat with them. Looking at it made me so uncomfortable all I wanted was to runway from there as fast as I could. Still, I stayed.

"This is Karina." Paul started, "We met in a settlement right after the outbreak."

"She died." I said, "And you couldn't let go of her."

"It's a little more complex than that."

I tried to look into Paul's eyes, but he was facing the ground. Once he was ready, Paul looked up at me.

"We made and oath. We wouldn't abandon each other no matter what. And when would fight for each other. One lives, all live."

Paul lifted hir shirt a little to show a huge scar on his belly. It looked well healed, "Our camp got raided by walkers. Me and Karina were the only survivors. I got this scar as a souvenir. But it looked bad, and I went unconscious for a couple hours."

At this point I kind of realized where this was going. I read Romeo and Juliet back at school. I hate tragedies. Paul lowered his shirt and shifted on his chair a little.

"Karina couldn't face the world on her own. She wanted to end all this pain and suffering."

"Oh no..." I covered my mouth slightly.

Paul tilted his head, "She killed herself. Once I got there it was already too late."

He stayed in silence for a while and I realized there were actual tears dropping from his eyes.

"But we made an oath!" He cried out. "We vowed never to leave each other and that's what I did!" He said even louder. The tears cleaning his face. "That's what I did-!!"

He choked on his own tears and couldn't say anything else. Paul just buried his face on his hands and cried while the walker (or should I say Karina?) moaned quietly in it's never ending hunger.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, no knowing what to say.

Paul got up still facing the ground. I quickly got up too and hugged him. He was taller than me so he had to bend a little to hug me back. That made his weight fall upon me. I had to stiff my legs in order not to simply fall down. But I carried him. He kept crying louder and louder. The walker got agitated but it didn't left it's place due to the restrains. I closed my eyes shut wishing with all of me for this to be over. Not Paul or the walker. Just everything else.

Pain and suffering left a scar on everyone. And I couldn't help but think, clouded by my own nostalgia, how much better things were before.