#spock says sir the first time and jim the second time

[iguanadonis]

i'm a pianist making a star trek music album

here's song 2, an electroswing arrangement of Alexander Courage's TOS theme and Uhura's "Beyond Antares"

song 1 here

[bearsinpotatosacks]

I wrote a snippet of Bones welcoming some new Starfleet medical cadets. I'm not sure exactly how training works for Starfleet doctors, but after watching ER, I get the idea that it works mostly the same. Start training, do your rotations as a third year medical student, but I like to imagine that once you've chosen your area, surgery, psych, etc, you have to do a rotation on each kind of Starfleet vessel. Maybe they start on a starbase, then go to small ships that may or may not need your specialisation, then end up on some of the big ships such as the Enterprise. Enjoy!

Words: 1136

Looking at the group of fresh faced cadets in front of him, he knew that coffee wasn’t going to be enough. He hated when they hosted cadets. Partially because the little fuckers didn’t leave him alone when he was working, anything and everything he did was ripped apart and he couldn’t walk for two seconds without some question that a stupidly simple answer. The other reason was that they didn’t pester him anywhere near enough when they were off duty. It was like they were trying to pack all their questions into their eight hour shift and then were too scared to hold break their silence. 

Part of the journey of being a medical student, at least in his opinion, was pestering your mentors. You had to really get on their nerves because no matter how much it pissed him off, he knew that they had to learn somehow. And the ones who disregarded his gruff exterior, who plucked up the courage to ask him questions ten minutes after he’d woken up, or ten minutes before he was going to bed, were the ones who he answered. Not the fifth one in a row who’d stopped him as he went to go and check on a scan for a patient. There was a time and place for bothering him and these cadets never seemed to learn when that was. 

“Welcome to your rotation on board a constitution class vessel,” he said, not bothering to put any effort into the script they gave him to say. “This is where you’ll learn about the vital part you play, yada yada yada, be on the cutting edge of discoveries, yada yada yada, and face the final frontier.”

He rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his coffee. “Now that the mandatory stuff’s out of the way, here’s your real induction.”

The cadets looked at each other confused. Ah, so naive, they didn’t know about his reputation yet. Good, he wanted them to be shocked when they learnt how he really was. 

“Real induction, sir?” One of the cadets, who looked unnaturally groomed for someone standing in a sickbay, said.

He held up a finger and stopped the cadet before he continued. “First rule of sickbay, no one is sir, especially me, if you call me sir, I will not answer.” They seemed more puzzled. “You can call me Doctor, but that might get confusing fast, McCoy, Leonard, Len, or any number of curse words or well divised nicknames that I have no doubt the nurses will teach you in your time here, will suffice.”

They wrote that down. He almost laughed, but decided against it, he didn’t want to confuse them any further. Seeing them all so fresh faced was rather jarring for someone like himself. Medicine was in his blood, so to speak, it felt like a lifetime ago that he was in their place, all squeaky clean. Yet again, he hadn’t trained in Starfleet. And that was another point. 

“Who can hazard a guess as to why I don’t like being called sir, or by my rank for that matter?” 

Scanning the crowd, he didn’t see any hands popping up. Disappointing, he at least expected one person to be enough of a swot to look into the crew of the Enterprise. None of them were surprised when they saw Jim was their Captain, or Spock was XO, yet none of them did research into the department they were going to work in?

A sigh was on his lips as a cadet, near the back with her hair suitably tied out of her face, raised her hand. 

“Yes, Ms?”

“Cotteril.” She answered. “Is it because you didn’t train with Starfleet?”

“Bingo! I trained in Atlanta, Georgia, and despite the wonders we’ve made in socio-economic policies in the last few hundred years, some places remain rough, and nowhere else is that seen than in large cities. So trust me when I say, I am a doctor more than I am an officer of Starfleet, and I expect every single medical professional who works on this ship to follow that same rule of code.”

He stopped with the half hearted attempts at humour and made sure to stare across the group. A few of them gulped, some were either confused, or others annoyed. 

“My father, god rest his soul, was a doctor in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, so I learnt medicine in the best way you can, the messy way. My first experience in the medical field was helping a horse with a c-section because there ain’t no vet hospitals in the Appalachian Mountains, I can tell you that for free.” His accent was coming out now, it always did when he talked of his childhood home. “And I want you all to understand that when you walk into my sickbay you leave your politics at the door, understand?”

They didn’t reply. 

“Excuse me, I thought I asked y’all a question.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“Good, because if you have Vulcan with a sprain and a Klingon bleeding out, I expect every one of y’all to pick the Klingon,” He gestured at them with his coffee mug, a splash got on the floor. “So, repeat after me, the Hippocratic Oath is my Prime Directive.”

“‘The Hippocratic Oath is my Prime Directive’” The group chorused.

He nodded at them again, “Good, you may now step into sickbay.”

Turning around he gestured for them to follow. He’d never say the q-word, but he was grateful that there weren’t a lot of people in today. The last thing he needed was some part of engineering breaking and causing an overflow of red shirts. They weren’t the best of friends, engineers and those in sickbay, and it wouldn’t be such a problem if they knew some kind of first aid down there. 

“I will give you a full introduction of staff when we do rounds, but first I'll give you lesson number two of serving in the Enterprise sickbay,” he turned on his heel to face them. “Do not disrespect a nurse. Not only because they do some of the most vital and downright disgusting jobs there are to do, they set up the beds, machinery, administer the drugs, take samples and bathe the crew when the replicators malfunction and start spewing rotten fish guts in the mess hall, don’t laugh that happened last Tuesday, but also because if you do you will get doing rectal exams for most of your time here while also, most definitely, getting a mystery hypo that will make your dick turn purple, if you have one, or make you grow one if you don’t, and you won’t even feel it either. Understand?”

Yet again, more confused faces. One cadet was looking down at his trousers, concerned. 

“Excellent, now for the tour.”

-----

Take this an early WIP wednesday, I guess? I'm not sure if this will go anywhere apart from this snippet, but it could. I mainly just had this scene fully written in my head this morning and finally had a chance to write it.

[dreamthinkimagine]

Half Human

For @zerozerozio

"You're not gonna admit, that for the first time in your life, you committed a purely human, emotional act?"

"No, Sir." Kirk chuckled.

"Mr. Spock, you're a stubborn man."

"Yes, Sir."

That conversation happened one hour before and Kirk still wanted to hear Spock say that he wasn't 100 percent Vulcan ALL the time. So when Kirk finally got him alone, he picked up the conversation where they left off. "Come on, Spock."

"I believe I have already conveyed my thoughts on the matter."

"I know you're not as serious as you try to be."

"An incorrect observation, Captain."

"You said you acted on desperation."

"It was -" Kirk stopped listening, trying to find a way to show it.

"Don't make me prove it to you."

"'Prove it', Captain?" Kirk walked around to him and poked his belly. Then pinched his side.

"Jim!" Truth be told, Jim suspected that Spock wanted to let go and emote sometimes - he was half human after all. The only things stopping him were witnesses - which Jim had already taken care of - and the 'feeling' of vulcan guilt.

"Come on, Spock," he said, starting to scratch. "Lighten up!"

"Captain," he said, squirming out of Kirk's grip. A look of internalized conflict shone on his face, and Jim couldn't help but stop as he looked upon his friend with such compassion. Maybe this wasn't the best way to deal with it.

"You're not always 'logic,' Spock. And that's okay."

"Jim," he said, "not for a vulcan."

"You're not all vulcan."

"Sometimes, I wish I was." Spock had suffered all his life on his planet. He was ridiculed by the other vulcan boys for not being a full vulcan and his human half cried because of it. He remembered his mother trying to comfort him, but that was a human thing. He vowed there and then that he would be a vulcan for life, then he wouldn't be different. He would fit in and no one could say anything about him again, so he repressed his human half.

He had almost succeeded in becoming "fully" vulcan until he was surrounded by humans on the Enterprise, then the cycle continued. He was an outsider again, and it was obvious to everyone. Especially him. The side that he wanted so hard to hide wanted to come out. But even if he wanted it to, he didn't know how to let it out. He'd ignored it for so long that he almost forgot that it existed.

"Spock?" Jim brought him out of his train of thought. "Spock, I'm not judging you."

"Captain?"

" I don't care that you're half vulcan, half human. You're my first officer and friend, I want you to be comfortable. If you decide to let your human side out, we won't judge you."

"And McCoy?"

"He teases because he cares," Jim said with a smirk. "He doesn't really think any less of you. I think he'd like to see it too." Spock took a moment to think and Jim held back from saying that letting go was logical. It wasn't the time to make that kind of joke. "You don't have to feel ashamed. Do you look down on me? For my humanity?" Spock immediately straightened out, looking at him.

"Of course not, Captain."

"Then why look down on yourself?" Spock looked away again. "This isn't Vulcan," Jim said. There was a silence for a few seconds, broken when Spock took a breath.

"Will you help me?" Spock asked as he turned to face Jim.

"To be human? What do you want me to do?"

"Perhaps what you were doing earlier would be a good place to start." Jim smiled and started attacking his ribs.

And as he stood there, laughing, Spock realized that maybe being half human wouldn't be so bad after all.

[czarcaustic]

thoughts on AOS while I watch AOS for the first time (THERE WILL BE SLANDER)

wow this movie is really butch right off the bat... so much action... so much dousing of every corner of the film in shadow

this couple said "Tiberius is a bad name but naming my 2 second old infant son JIM sounds good" assigned 60 year old man at birth

jim almost going over the cliff... gotta hit every movie cliche -_- also what's with the giant rift on the flat plains of Iowa

BABY SPOOOOCK HIS LITTLE FRECKLES oh noooo

"he has human eyes" omg :'(

WINONA RYDER?

zachary quinto's voice has uuuh... no gravitas, I'm sorry guys. he just does not sound like spock to me

oh lord no, jim.... ssshut up and leave uhura alone!!! this movie is such a product of the 2000s.... cool guy main character bothers a woman as flirtation

omg I am hating the dynamic of Uhura as Cool Popular Girl all these random bros feel the need to jump in and defend because she's so hot? my accidental posse I developed by virtue of being Too Hot

kirk grabbing her boobs... wow this movie is so much worse than I thought it would be. I forgot the 2000s was this sexist, which is crazy because I lived it.

"a peacekeeping armada" bro that's just a "woke" way to say military

ok Bones is pretty good

nooooo why is Jim such a pervert freak

- not only did you violate ze RUles - twirls evil moustache-

Oh I REALLY like this Bones

the sounds the enterprise doors make omg it's like a mouse farting -shoop!-

wha- the computer didn't understand chekov's voice??? couldn't he have just spoken russian ??? what is the motivation for speaking english in the world of the universal translator

ok I assume this is like "ahaha imagine if a person had an accent" humour like man... that joke was already overplayed back then

Spock talks like an evil cat

Nero saying "Hulloh!" so casual when being hailed. Hey guys, how's it hangin'?

sksksk Sulu being like yes sir I have hand to hand combat training like yeah boy, I bet you do

"Kirk you're not cleared to be on this mission and should be at home, that's why I'm selecting you as the person I'll send on an even deadlier mission" make it make sense

that's like a head surgeon being like oh ok since you're not cleared to be in the surgery room why don't you just step up here and help me perform the surgery

Kirk's smirk at Spock when Pike gives him XO..... SHUT UP I HATE YOU NASTY MAN

Chris Pine always looks like he's hiding ice cubes in his cheeks

ngl this movie is boring as fuck

Pike is similar to SNW Pike, if you took everything interesting about Anson Mount's Pike and threw it away

omg what?!? what's with the bit where the guy is having too much fun laughing and being jolly to pull his parachute lmao

omg not a hanging off the edge of a cliff scene AGAIN, I can't take this

it's cute having Chekhov accidentally call Spock Commander instead of Captain

Chekov is a gamer, he can lock on

aw he's so cute.

"enah-jyyyzzze" Spock says while popping a squat... wow he's so gay

Vulcan getting sucked into the black hole really looks like a butthole

ok not to do with the movie but I accidentally just wrote "Vulvan"

Spock: ok guys just gonna record my very personal diary right in the middle of the bridge DON'T FOLLOW ME OUT WHEN I STORM OFF IN A DRAMATIC WAY

oh no Uhura's the best girlfriend

wahahaha tying my enemy up on a big slab and shining a light directly in his face and calling him by his first name, hey wait a moment do you guys hear Ghenghis Khan playing

not Spock quoting that Sherlock Holmes bit about the impossible I thought you were supposed to value logic

good arguing between Kirk and Spock though

did Spock just fucking drop Kirk on an inhospitable planet?!?!

oh my fucking god he's evil!

he really said it is logical to straight up kill this man rather than sedate him ok mr megalomaniac

oh nooo jim crying from spock prime's emotional transference, they have so much chemistry

"so you do feel" ok kirk your spock is like, the most emotional young spock of all, he wears his emotions on his sleeve

I love you bug-eyed alien friend of Scotty's

Scotty's whole shindig would hit harder if every person in this movie wasn't like ohhoho I'm the best guy ever at the thing I do within the span of like, a day

Spock Prime saying he learned to cheat by fucking with timelines from Jim, ah yes you love to see it

oh no Scotty got Charlie and The Chocolate Factoried

Spock being one of the antagonists of this movie is so funny

this fight is cringe.....

the little end intercom sound is the exact same starting note as MGMT's Kids

JIM YOU MADE SPOCK LOOK REALLY BAD IN FRONT OF HIS DAD!!!!!

"omg hiii, are we having a weird voyeurism moment in the transport bay?"

"I want Spock dead NOW!" child demands ice cream

OMG THIRD TIME JIM IS DANGLING BY HIS HANDS OFF A CLIFF, c'mon guys these moments are not good enough to demand the rule of threes

the parallel of Spock taking George Kirk's place as the self-destruct pilot - all to save his beautiful wife... Christopher Pike

Spock Prime just being like ah fuck it I'm not worried about Time Fuckery actually... I just needed to make sure you were gonna learn to love Kirk. we respect him for that

imagine if your future self was like hey I decided I don't care about temporal directives so I'm choosing to meet you but I did care so much about you learning to love and trust my best friend that I set up a scenario which would trauma bond the two of you to ensure you'd be friends and you're just like oh yeah I guess that's a normal situation to have with your platonic bro

Kirk got Captaincy of the Enterprise through uuuh... committing mutiny to save the ship, they were just like yeah ok I guess we'll give this ship to you now instead of it being like, an experience based thing. imagine if that's how it worked in real life.

in conclusion it just ain't my beloved SNW

[kirksfattitties]

i know i’ve posted a clip from this before but the full scene is REALLY something

[lenievi]

“Jim.”

The man stepped down from the transporter pad, and the Captain moved toward him, embracing him in his arms with a pleased, “Bones.”

Spock clasped his hands behind his back, straightening. The hug lasted eight seconds. It seemed a bit excessive.

When the Captain told him that the new ship’s surgeon was his personal friend for many years, Spock’s first thought was to tell him that he considered it a bad idea. Surrounding oneself with close friends on a mission where anything could happen, where their lives were in danger every day, did not seem very logical. He said nothing and hoped the doctor’s fate would not follow the one of Gary Mitchell, which hurt the Captain deeply.

-

“Captain. The way you let Doctor McCoy act toward you is disrespectful and improper,” Spock said two weeks later during one of their chess matches.

The Captain blinked at him. “Improper?”

“He questions your authority, never addresses you properly, and you yourself allow it with the use of the overfamiliar moniker.”

The Captain continued watching him with a baffled expression, mouthing “overfamiliar moniker”.

“Furthermore, the crew started to question the nature of your relationship.”

“And we can’t have that, can we, Mister Spock?” 

Spock understood the words as humorous, but the Captain’s eyes weren’t laughing.

-

The next time Doctor McCoy visited the bridge, the Captain greeted him with, “Hey, Doc.”

It felt somewhat mocking, and Spock could not shake off the impression that McCoy was glaring at Spock’s back, trying to burn a hole there.

He refused to turn around.

-

“Jim, they won’t hurt the doctor.”

The Captain stopped pacing. “I thought you said the use of my first name was improper and disrespectful.”

“I did not say that… exactly.”

“You sound like McCoy now.”

“There is no reason to be insulting, Captain.”

The Captain sighed. “Look, Spock. I don’t know what your problem with McCoy is…”

“There is no problem, sir. The Doctor’s behavior simply does not fit a Starfleet vessel and can cause distraction.”

“Did it cause a distraction?”

“Not yet,” Spock conceded.

“When…” The Captain cleared his throat. “When McCoy comes back, the next time he’s on the bridge, watch the crew, Mister Spock.”

-

Spock did as told.

McCoy did not only speak to the Captain. He’d stop at Lieutenant Uhura’s panel to talk to her, leaving her smiling. He’d ask Lieutenant Sulu about one of his many hobbies. He’d talk to everyone, addressing all of them by their names, leaving them relaxed and more open to joking with each other during the long voyages from one place to another that humans tended to find tedious and tiring.

It reminded him of Captain Pike, who’d take that role on himself. Perhaps the last year and two months at Kirk’s side made him forget something important.

-

McCoy would talk to everyone but Spock.

-

“Any time you can bluff me, Doctor!”

Spock turned toward the captain’s chair. The whole bridge was looking at Kirk in confusion and bewilderment. Spock wasn’t petty enough to remind the captain that this was what he’d meant when he talked about distractions.

He could tell the Captain understood anyway.

And to Spock’s surprise, so did McCoy. His demeanor deflated, and he oozed embarrassment, moving away from the chair, subdued, his hands curled into fists.

And yet, Kirk and McCoy’s uncommon disagreement turned out not to be a distraction at all. Somehow, it gave the Captain an idea. An absurd, illogical idea. But as Spock learned during his time serving with Kirk, sometimes it took such an idea to get them out of a predicament.

“However, it was well played,” Spock acknowledged, and in order to further lighten the mood on the bridge, he continued, “I regret not having learned more about this Balok. In some manner, he was reminiscent of my father.”

“Then may heaven have helped your mother,” Scott quipped.

“Quite the contrary. She considered herself a very fortunate Earth woman.”

-

Perhaps he did judge the nature of Kirk and McCoy’s friendship wrong, he thought as he watched McCoy step close to Kirk and touch his arm in apology.

“Doc… sorry,” Kirk said, and Spock wondered if the moniker “Bones” would ever make a reappearance.

-

When McCoy invited him for a group poker a few days later, Spock did not refuse.

He wisely didn’t react after Kirk kept calling McCoy “Bones” throughout the game. After the fifth time, he caught McCoy’s exasperated look. 

Maybe the two of them could find an understanding.

[starfleetbotanist]

Physician, Heal Thyself (But Not Always)

🌹

It had been stupid, even he would admit that. Academy students were typically supposed to avoid bar fights. But Cupcake had been talking smack, and he'd had a few too many, so he had allowed the inevitable to happen. What he hadn't expected was for six other cadets to decide to use him as a punching bag. More surprising, though, was Bones.

He'd vaguely heard Bones trying to reason with his assailants before the roar in his ears drowned him out, but a fist to the stomach is a much more pressing matter than a pacifist doctor trying to tell you logic you don't want to hear, so he'd more or less written him off. That is, until he saw a cadet fall at his feet and turned to see his friend wading- and punching- through the crowd towards him.

He leapt at one of Cupcakes cronies as he landed a solid punch to Bones' face, causing the man to stumble back, a protectiveness he hadn't felt since Tarsus rising in him. But Bones regained his footing and gave as good as he'd gotten, before finally reaching Jim. Then he grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and dragged him from the bar, much like a mama cat with her errant kitten.

He stared at him, stunned, the entire way back to their room, Bones loudly scolding him about safety and rules the whole way, wiping blood from his now evidently broken nose. A sick feeling overcame him. What happened now? Was Bones going to leave, like Sam had?

He found himself dumped on the couch in an ungraceful heap as Bones' angry footsteps carried him to the bathroom and back. He sat on the coffee table, and Jim was relieved to see his medkit resting on his knee. He was (mostly) a model patient as Bones scrubbed at his cuts with antiseptic before using the portable dermal regen.

"You've got too damn good a brain, Jim, to go and get it knocked around by fools like that, y'hear me?"

He blinked. No, he hadn't heard him. Upon realizing that, Bones rolled his eyes before reaching over and lightly slapping his head- a move too gentle to actually hurt, and which he immediately followed with an affectionate ruffle of Jim's hair.

"This, your brain. Use it."

With that, he got up and headed back to the bathroom. Jim followed on his heels.

"That's it? You're not... More angry?"

"Jim, I knew when I signed up to be your friend there'd be risks. If a bar fight's the most danger we get in together I'd be surprised."

"But you got hurt!"

"Yeah, and you owe me for that."

He stopped in front of the mirror, opening his case again and finding the regen and a hypo. He reached up and, with a grunt, popped his nose back into place. He swore as he turned the hypo on himself, eyes watering.

"Scratch that, you really owe me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," Jim replied. He meant it. He hated seeing Bones hurt.

"Just-- use your head next time. Okay?"

"Yeah-- yeah, okay, Bones. I promise."

"Good." He washed the blood on his face and hands before turning back to face him. "Then we can forget about it."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Okay. Thanks, Bones."

"Anytime, kid."

🌹

Nyota held her wrist to her chest, waiting in the academy clinic. She had hurt it in combat class that day, but thankfully not too badly. The clinic was understaffed that day, and she had told Christine she was fine waiting. It was just her and two other cadets in the waiting room, after all. Not everyone was quite so patient, though.

One of the others, a command cadet, was complaining loudly, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair, and bouncing his leg in agitation.

"How much longer is this gonna take?" He asked when Christine opened the door to call another patient back.

"Doctor McCoy or Doctor M'Benga will be able to see you soon, sir," she answered. "We will get to you as soon as we can."

Nyota prided herself on her ability to read people, and what she saw from the other cadet was not encouraging. He jumped up to his feet, crossing over to Christine with surprising speed.

"You can't just come back here!" She said, positioning herself between the cadet and the door.

"Watch me!" He snapped, grabbing her shoulder and shoving her out of the way.

Nyota rose, but she didn't need to interfere. Just as he was stepping into the hallway, he ran face first into Doctor McCoy, summoned by Christine's shout.

"Didn't you hear the lady? She said you ain't gettin' in here!" He snapped, though Nyota could see him running a clinical eye over the cadet. "Easy now. Looks like you're in withdrawal. How many stims have you taken?"

"None of your business!" The man snapped, and before anyone could stop him, caught McCoy on the side of the head with a right cross.

Christine leapt in, then, getting him into a safe hold and grabbing his arm to pin behind him as McCoy called for M'Benga to bring a sedative.

"Dammit," he swore as the other doctor handed him the hypo. "Sucker punches harder than he looks."

Once he was sedated, security called, and a treatment plan discussed for the over-use of stims to get him through the command courses, the cadet was taken to Starfleet Medical for a proper detox.

"You okay, Chris?" McCoy asked. Nyota had come to Christine's side as the cadet was taken away. The two had been friends since their first year.

"Just fine," she promised. "Didn't even fall. What about you?"

"I'll be fine," he shrugged. "Happens sometimes. Nothin' the regen can't fix."

"You might want to get on that before it swells too much, Len" M'Benga said. "I can finish up here."

"It'll hold," McCoy insisted. "But you can take that patient we just called back. C'mon, Ny, I only need one eye to see the swelling in that wrist."

"Only if you fix your eye, too," she threatened, following him back to one of the rooms.

"Wrist first," he said, taking out his tricorder. She answered his questions, let him strap the regen unit to her, and stared him into submission until he began treating himself while they waited.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked once they had both finished.

"Ain't that my line? Any residual pain?"

"None, thank you. Now answer me."

"I'm okay," he promised. "Not my first rodeo with someone hyped up on stims, and it won't be my last."

"Can't say I envy you."

"Yeah, well, it happens. Now, you be careful in that combat class, okay? Stretch right, and be careful which moves you use on which partners."

"I will. Thanks, Len."

"Sure, Ny."

🌹

"Scotty."

He looked up from the manual he was reading at the sound from the bathroom door.

"Ah, Doc! What can I do for you?"

"You can take a break from straining your eyes and come have some coffee."

He laughed, lowering the PADD he was reading from.

"Aye, that sounds good. What're you doin' up so early?"

He followed him into his room, where he could smell fresh coffee brewing. Like many things, McCoy seemed to prefer real coffee, and while Scotty tended to be more of a tea man, he never turned down real foods or drinks.

"Haven't been to bed yet- don't tell Jim or Spock."

He poured them both a cup, handing Scotty one of them and motioning to the sugar and creamer he'd set out.

"Aren't you the one always telling the crew the importance of a good sleep schedule?"

"Yeah, and that's why I'm askin' you not to tell on me," he grinned.

"Can you not sleep?"

"No, not really. I've been goin' over that last accident in Engineering. I've written up a few training proposals, and wanted you to read through them and tell me which you think'll work best before I submit them."

"Have you been working on this all day?"

"Since my shift ended, yeah."

Scotty saw him take two tiny pills from a bottle on his desk and take them before rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, headache. Ibuprofen. Been at this a little too long, I think."

"Why push yourself like this, then?"

He scanned the proposals, an interdisciplinary first aid course specific to Engineering and the various injuries and accidents that could happen, a triage proposal to better prepare medical staff for what to expect when an accident is called in, and new safety guidelines and equipment inspection schedules.

"Well, every second counts, you know that. The sooner we get this smoothed out, the better. It could be life or death, and I'm not about to play games there."

"You never do," Scotty grinned, picking up a stylus and making a few notes. "I like this so far. I hope you made a lot of coffee, because I have a few ideas, too."

"I hoped you would," McCoy grinned, and the two sat down to begin work.

🌹

"You called me, Doc?"

"Mr Sulu, perfect timing!"

Doctor McCoy was standing by a selection of plants, studying them intensely.

"The botany department sent these up. They're medicinal. But the labels got mixed up, and we don't really know what's what."

"That's unusual," Sulu grinned, looking down at the selection. "She's usually more organized when making deliveries."

He began to catalogue the plants, calling to mind their uses.

"Fever few, plantain... Several of these are for stopping bleeding."

"Yeah, that's what we're hoping for. We're training our medics to learn other ways to heal in the field."

"Good idea," Sulu nodded, fixing the lables.

"Thank you for the help," McCoy grinned. "Oh, Lieutenant Lyle brought another plant, but I'm not sure what it does. It was bigger than the others, so I set it in the office. Little bastard scratched me, too."

Sulu laughed, plucking a plantain leaf and handing it to him.

"Chew on that for a minute and put it on the cut, that will help."

He heard McCoy's thanks as he went into the office. He gasped. On the desk was a rare Andorian Passionflower- spiked where its Earth counterpart was not, and blue instead of purple. In place of a label there was a note, and he recognized the handwriting.

"Ben?"

"Surprise," McCoy said, stepping in. He had the chewed leaf against his finger. "We were asked not to tell you anything."

He opened the envelope. It was handwritten anniversary card. He smiled, warmth filling him.

"Happy anniversary, you two," McCoy said, patting him on the shoulder. "There's minutes on my computer for subspace communication. He's waiting for you to call."

"Thanks, Doc," he answered, wiping sudden tears from his eyes.

McCoy patted his back again before leaving him to his call.

🌹

"Doctor?"

"Mhm?"

"Why did you do it?"

McCoy looked at Chekov, who was eyeing wound on his arm with deep concern.

"Reflex," he lied, finishing ripping his uniform shirt into bandages. He turned his eyes away, focusing on tying off and tending the wound until the ion storm ended and they could contact the Enterprise.

"Captain Kirk is right. You are a terrible liar, sir."

He snorted, tying off his makeshift sling. He'd taken a rather severe cut from a spear from one of the inhabitants of this supposedly uninhabited planet. The spear had been aimed at Chekov, but he had managed to push the kid out of the way just in time.

"Captain Kirk can mind his own business."

"Doctor..."

McCoy sighed, leaning back against the cave wall. Chekov joined him, still looking at him with wide-eyed worry.

"You remind me of Joanna."

"Huh?"

"I did it because you remind me of Joanna."

"Who is Joanna?"

"My daughter. My whole world. I don't get to see her often, but she's my pride and joy."

"And I remind you of her?"

"Yeah. Can't explain it. It's probably because you're so young, or some misplaced guilt about not being there to protect JoJo that makes me want to look out for you instead that the psychologist really doesn't wanna think too much about."

He shrugged, closing his eyes.

"That, and I'm a doctor, and your senior officer. Not gonna let you get hurt if I can help it."

Running for their lives had worn him out, it seems. Chekov studied him for a moment before placing his head on his shoulder.

"You are very much the papa I always wanted. My grandmother, she told me stories about him. He was a good man. If he was... If I had known him longer, I would have liked for him to be like you, Doctor."

He felt a strong hand ruffle his hair.

"Get some rest, kid. I'll keep watch."

Chekov smiled, allowing his own eyes to close. He fell asleep wondering if McCoy would laugh or be angry that he had become, as the captain said, a "mama bear."

🌹

Spock stood beside Captain Kirk's hospital bed, arms folded behind his back. He had come to check on the progress of McCoy's serum on their friend. But, also, he was here to check on McCoy. Nyota had expressed worry over him that morning after visiting.

"You want a seat, Spock?"

He turned as the doctor entered the room, a cup of coffee in one hand and a PADD in the other.

"No, thank you, Doctor."

McCoy set the coffee aside, moving to the bed to compare the data on the PADD to the biobed readings. As Spock watched him, he began to really notice the state the doctor was in. His eyes were bloodshot, ringed in dark circles, his hair sticking at odd angles, as though he had run his fingers through it many times. He hadn't shaved, and was looking rather gaunt.

"When did you last sleep, Leonard?"

"Does it matter, Spock?"

"I think it would matter to the captain. And... I admit to a concern, as well."

"May miracles never cease," McCoy muttered, and they both knew what miracle he was praying for.

"Doctor, you must rest. The captain's status is unlikely to change in the time it would take for you to eat and sleep."

"I can't, Spock. Not right now."

"Why?"

"Because he needs me."

"He needs all of you, Leonard. Not a shell of yourself."

McCoy's shoulders sagged at that.

"I don't want to leave him," he admitted. "I promised I wouldn't leave him."

"You do not have to leave him. You could bring a cot into this room, perhaps. Shower in the en suite, and eat the meals Nyota has been bringing you."

"When I try to sleep, Spock, all I can see is him in that chamber. In that damn body bag in my medbay. It... It hurts, Spock. In a very human way, it hurts. It- this grief, it's like a wound, Spock."

"As you so often tell me, Leonard, you are a doctor. You treat wounds, better than most. You are healing the captain. The best way to heal that grief is to continue to do so. But if you damage yourself with overwork, you will not be able to care for him to the best of your abilities."

McCoy was silent for a moment before nodding.

"You're right... Thank you, Spock."

"It is... My pleasure, Leonard."

When he visited again that night, he found McCoy asleep on a cot not far from Kirk's bed, PADD still in hand. He had showered and shaved. The plate Nyota had sent him was now empty, and someone, presumably nurse Chapel, had covered him with the knitted blanket that he usually kept on the couch in his office.

Spock allowed himself to feel relieved, and quietly retreated, turning down the lights as he did so. The next morning, Kirk woke up.

🌹

"He may be a little disoriented when he wakes up," M'Benga told the assembled officers. "It was touch and go there, and we nearly lost him a few times. But I do believe he will make a full recovery."

"You are sure?" Chekov asked, his face pale. Sulu had his hand on his back for support.

"Yes. He is stable. Now all he needs is rest."

"Thank you," Kirk spoke up, gripping one of McCoy's hands from his place beside his bed. "Bones couldn't have been in better hands."

"You remind him of that when he wakes up," M'Benga laughed quietly, his calm manner helping ease the tension in the crowd. "You can talk to him now, too. Even if he doesn't hear you, it'll help him to have friendly voices around."

Scotty coughed to hide a relieved sniffle, and patted Kirk's shoulder amiably.

"Why don't you start, Captain?"

Kirk nodded, thinking.

"Bones, you know we all love you, right? So you've gotta come back to us. It's not the same without you here yelling at me."

"Indeed, Doctor. Your colorful metaphors are... Missed." Spock looked down the line of visitors expectantly.

"Da, and you promised to let us talk to Joanna next time she called you!" Chekov watched the sleeping man eagerly.

"Yeah, she and Demora are going to space camp together," Sulu pitched in. "If you don't wake up soon, who's gonna tell them how dangerous it is?"

Nyota laughed at that, and everyone (save Spock) grinned.

"Aye, Len. And you're gonna have to be the one to tell Jaylah what happened, you know," Scotty said. "Otherwise the lassie's likely to steal a ship and come all the way from Earth to make sure you aren't still hurt."

"What about you, Uhura?" Kirk asked. "You know how he likes to hear you sing. Why don't you sing one of his favorites."

"Good idea," she nodded, thinking. "I know just the one."

Soon the medbay was filled with her soft, comforting voice.

"I'll keep you safe..."

🌹 This was a long one! Thank you for reading! This was based on a prompt by @hlabounty96 ! I hope you enjoyed! 🌹

[mccoymccoymccoy]

Kirk - Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.

A/N: I KNOW. I KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE CONTEXT FROM WHEN HE SAID THAT. BUT WHEN HE SAID IT WE ALL GOT A TINGLE, NO? oh well. silly little brain.

Word count: 1,531

God, you were tired. Finally a calm day on the bridge- no engine repairs needed, no hostile encounters, no pointless orders from Starfleet- and yet it felt like the longest day since your shore leave on a planet with twenty hours of sun. Your nose was red and sore from patting at it with your sleeve, and you had a headache like what you imagined being struck by an ice pick would feel like.

“All in order, cap-” you paused, face contorting into the classic pre-sneeze expression. Oh, go away, go away, go away! Miraculously, it did. “-tain,” you finished, rubbing the side of your finger against your nose. He turned around and raised an eyebrow at you. “Lieutenant, it seems like you’ve still got a bit of that cold left. Didn’t Bones order you to take three days off? As long as I can still count, it’s only been two days.” Spock, who was walking past, nodded. “You can indeed still count, captain.” You sighed.

“Sir, with all due respect, a little almost-sneeze isn’t anything to worry about. I believe I’m perfectly able to perform my duties,” you lied.

He put one hand on his hip while the other pinched his forehead, and sighed right back at you. “Y/N, we don’t know how this cold- this virus, works. You heard what Bones said, it’s not like the old common Earth cold. You got hit the worst out of the landing party.” He may be a walking bullshit detector, but his reasoning was a void attempt to you.

You saw your duties as more important than anything, which he normally had incredible respect for, but you’d already lost out on two days. Two days, just kicking around your quarters and sneaking around your deck trying to find something to do. Somehow, every time, Bones or an ensign found you and had to bring you back. Mimicking him, you placed your hands on your hips and shifted your weight to one foot. You were starting to feel a bit light-headed, but you weren’t sure if it was because of the cold or him.

“Come on, Y/N.”

You looked down. His insisting this was really starting to make you nervous- not just because of the prospect of missing out on work. You were so fond of him that surely the rate of your heart and the anxious sweating would just make him more firm in his decision that you were unfit to work! Thinking about him made your headache worse than it already was, too. “Captain, please. I’m alright.” Your nose twitched another sneeze away.

“No more arguing, lieutenant. You’re off for the rest of today and tomorrow. That’s an order. Go.”

“Sir, please-”

“Go to your quarters or I’ll pick you up and carry you there.”

You froze. Your face flushed at the thought, and the pressure you’d been adding to your one leg became too much, causing a little stumble. Jim grabbed onto your arms quickly, steadying you. You started to explain about the pressure, but he shook his head. “Spock, you’ve got the bridge. Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you outta here,” he said before sweeping you off your feet into a bridal carry.

Captain Kirk, Captain James T. Kirk, was carrying you back to your own goddamn quarters. You pressed the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his neck against your face to cover your blush- What was his deal! “Captain, if you’re that concerned about my health, perhaps you wouldn’t want to be, well, this close to me? Please, put me down.” He looked down at you, brows furrowed. “It’s not a cold transmitted by contact, Lieutenant,” you sighed a little at him using your official title while carrying you like this. “Doctor McCoy explained that to you already. You’re tired, you almost collapsed on the Bridge, you need to get some sleep and rest. I won’t say it again.”

“But-” He softly stroked your shoulder with his thumb, and it shut you up immediately.

“That’s all I gotta do to quiet you down?” It had clicked for him just a few seconds prior that you weren’t acting strangely just because you were sick. He smiled down at you- something you’d usually expect to be snarky from anyone else after the last comment, but not from him. You knew your face must be redder than your shirt by now, and without thinking, you pressed into his chest to try to hide it. You felt his next chuckle more than you heard it.

You stayed like that for a few moments more until he made it to your door, inside, and to your bed, where he put you down gently. You sat up immediately, and he smiled again.

“Give it up, Lieutenant. I wouldn’t want to have to confine you to your quarters.” You frowned. “Captain, nothing is more important to me than my work. I’ve just got a headache and a tickly nose, at least clear me for tomorrow!” Your head pounded at the effort of raising your voice and you cringed in pain. Jim frowned now too, reaching out and then sitting down beside you. He thought for a moment, while you looked down with your hands in your lap.

“You know, Lieut- Y/N, you know, you’d be no good at your tasks right now anyway.” You laughed quietly. “Gee, thanks, Cap.” You watched as his hand found its way into your lap and between your clammy ones, fingers lacing with yours. He was looking at you, but your own eyes were glued to your lap. His next words were spoken so softly, you could hardly believe this was the same man who’d yelled at you earlier to take a rest.

“That didn’t quite come out how I meant. I meant, you’re an incredible officer who does incredible work here, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to dampen that record because you don’t know how to relax when you need to.”

“This isn’t relaxing,” you sighed. His other hand reached up to cup your cheek, turning your face so you’d look at him. And you did- oh, how you did. How lovely it was to look at him up close, to look so deeply into his eyes you thought you’d never be able to escape. You always tried to avoid eye contact with him, and contact in general- which had always proved difficult. He was always asking you to join the landing party, and then dinner after, and a game in the rec room, and a gym session- you always tagged along, feeling like a pity case and wondering why he’d have you there. It had never once occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about you as you did him.

“I know. Maybe I could help that?” His eyes flickered to your lips for a moment, then back up. You looked down, leaning into his hand on your cheek and finally beginning to grasp the one in your lap rather than just letting it be there. “Maybe,” you said, barely above a whisper. He closed in, slowly at first, then quickly- he kissed you sweetly, and to say you melted inside would be an understatement. You moved one hand to touch the edge of his jaw ever so gently and felt him smile. He pulled away from you a bit, but stayed close, resting his forehead against yours.

“You sure you won’t catch this cold, Jim?” You smiled, and kept your eyes closed. You felt his breath against your cheek as he chuckled before responding: “So now we’re on a first name basis, I see?” You sat up abruptly, the brain fog hadn’t allowed you to interpret that as a joke. “If we aren’t sir, my sincerest apologies, I just-”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and kissed you again. Shorter this time, but not exactly a peck. You blinked at him, and he grinned.

“I was teasing.”

“Ah. Of course. Maybe I really do need some rest.” His eyes suddenly lit up, almost in a comical lightbulb-moment way. “Why don’t I stay with you a bit longer? You know, make sure you actually stay put and all.” You smiled and looked at the floor once again, but not before picking up on a slight blush from him. He truly was a sweetheart. You nodded, humming. “That would be nice, I think. What about the bridge though?”

“Spock will have it under control for as long as needed,” he responded while laying the two of you down. You wrapped an arm around his waist and cuddled into his shoulder, despite still thinking it’s completely inappropriate for you to do this with the captain- but he doesn’t seem concerned at all. Your tiredness had caught up with you once you finally allowed yourself to relax- you let out a loud yawn, and couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore. “Try to sleep now, Y/N. I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Jim,” you mumbled as you started to drift off. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head, and you could feel him smiling again before your mind finally went quiet.

[hailbop1701]

Spock

Word Count: 580

Here's another one! This is about how Spock feels and thinks about when he first finds out that Bones is Reaper. I think it's a little word vomit-y but it works. I hope you all like it! No Beta so typos!

- H ❤🖖

Spock was a very logical man and prided himself -- as much as a Vulcan could -- in keeping his emotions in check. One plus one was obviously two so the Terran saying goes and the Enterprise has made it exceedingly difficult keeping that perspective. So when it was revealed that Doctor Leonard McCoy, “Bones” as the Captain affectionately calls him was not who they all thought something just snapped.

He felt multiple emotions coursing through him. Hurt, anger, betrayal, and once he focused on the pained, destroyed look on McCoy’s --Grimm’s -- face, he felt pity. The one who he called friend looked as if the world that he had carefully created, shattered into millions of pieces. Like waking up from a dream into the worst possible nightmare.

The man who wore Doctor McCoy as a mask showed himself, shoving his emotions down into a pit. The action surprised Spock greatly and couldn’t help but admire it and be saddened by it.

Watching the away team -- his friends -- run and fight their way through Genesis made Spock feel a form of anxiety he hadn’t felt since he was a child. His hands were tight on the armrests of the Captain’s chair, a PADD of notes and research resting on his knee almost entirely forgotten. Lt. Uhura left her station and stood at his side with a visible expression of worry and sadness on her face, she bit her lip and wrung her hands, her eyes never leaving the front screen.

The entire bridge was tense and quiet. An unusual and now after spending so much time with Jim and Mc-- Spock took a small breath -- it was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Seeing the party huddled over a terminal, safe for the moment, Spock hazard a look down at his PADD. The notes he made were neat, precise, and completely unnecessary. It would be said by the ship’s CMO that he was trying to work out an emotional crisis by making lists and notes. Trying to put them into a perspective he was comfortable with.

Leonard “Bones” McCoy → Johnathan Grimm

Lt. Com/CMO of Enterprise → Immortal Man infected with a compound known as “C-24”

Doctor → Soldier

Mask → Truth

Friend → ?

Spock stared at his note his mind running a mile a minute as he thought back. McCoy healing the crew, gruff and emotional. McCoy talking to him, helping him, being his friend. His eyes were honest and kind as they always were. Now that he sees the whole truth Spock could recall the well-hidden sadness and guilt.

Looking back up at the screen after 10.3 seconds had passed to see every monitor in the lab they had taken refuge in show images. All of McCoy but not. He was different in every picture and it only took Spock a single second to realize that these images were of his previous lives. A teacher, a farmer, a soldier, an officer, always helping, always compassionate.

Spock tapped at his PADD deleting a couple of lines in earnest.

Friend → Friend

More Research is required.

He will help his friend in any way he possibly can. Looking over at Nyota he saw that she was watching him with a soft expression contrasted by a flash of steely determination.

“Lieutenant, See what you can do to get around that jamming frequency. We must be able to contact to our away team.”

Uhura flashed him a quick smile and nodded, “Yes Sir,”

Tags!

Everything: @lauraaan182, @chickadee-djarin, @cowenby2, @bluesclues-1234, @sayuri9908

[klmeri]

Imagine an unknown cloudlike space entity finds it way onto the Enterprise, except this particular entity is quite benign, mayhap more so leaning towards benevolent if one considers - in hindsight, of course - the lingering effect of its unannounced visit.  The entity is a rather intelligent creature and, like many similar to its kind, has some empathetic ability regarding others, most especially it seems to the solid, strange and interesting beings who comprise the Enterprise’s crew.  In order to best communicate its intentions, it often changes shape while mind-speaking.  Thus, upon a cursory scan at arrival (not far from its initial entry point via an unmanned hatch near to one of the more private - and popular - amorous rendezvous spots on the ship), it notes one of the strongest emotions it has ever experienced since the beginning of its lifecycle.  So, using superior powers to read from those minds in that alcove an image which symbolizes this new emotion, it transforms to a shape which seems satisfactory for first contact and begins its pursuit of the ones who will speak to it.  

Floating along an oddly empty corridor, it lets the strongest mind it can sense pull it in a specific direction - and soon enough, it arrives outside a closed door and hovers there.  A moment later, a computerized whistling can be heard as the door slides back, revealing the quarry which the entity felt, a tall, looming figure who stands upon the threshold as if summoned in kind by the mind of new visitor.  Seconds of stillness pass, neither the being moving nor the entity doing more than gently hovering close by.  His scrutiny complete, the being arches an eyebrow, states, “Fascinating”, and proceeds to enter the corridor and walk away.  The entity bobs a second longer, and of course follows him.

Elsewhere, two men are pretending not to be deeply interested in each other while in fact the fluttering of their lashes and long looks have fooled no one else on the Bridge.  

“Spock’s never late,” one of them says to the other.  “Yet here I am, and here he’s not.  What do you make of that, Jim?”

“He’s on the way,” Jim says firmly, though no report has been given to the captain to confirm this matter-of-fact statement.  Then the man lowers his voice, teasing, “Bones, am I to believe you’re early on purpose?  Simply to antagonize my first officer?”

Leonard harrumphs as an answer and glances away, although quickly enough his gaze returns to catch on Jim’s.  

Their mild smolder of a stare is broken only the tell-tale ding of someone’s arrival by turbolift.  As one, the pair turns to greet their errant third.  McCoy immediately bursts out happily, “Mr. Spock!  You’re late!”

The captain is seen tamping down on a grin, but in the next moment his amused expression changes to first confusion, then a hint of delight as he rises from his chair.  “Mr. Spock,” he tuts, “what is this?”

McCoy’s eyes have widened in surprise alongside everyone else’s, but unlike the rest, his shock is accompanied by a deepening red hue to his face.  “Why, Spock,” he begins to drawl slowly, flustered by his own surprise and no doubt by some other sweeter emotion as well.

Mr. Spock, hands tucked at his back, merely looks back at the captain and the doctor a moment before stepping aside, allowing the object suspended in the air next to him to be fully viewed by a rapt Bridge crew.  It is bright red and heart-shaped, rather reminiscent of the helium balloons once widely used during celebrations of the long-ago Earth holiday known as Valentine’s Day.  Naturally one such as Jim Kirk recognized it straight away, being a man who prefers older, sappier traditions.

“Mr. Spock,” he says with a smile, moving to the upper platform, McCoy on his heels, “you shouldn’t have!”

The Vulcan raises both eyebrows this time, querying, “Sir?”

“Who’s it for?” Leonard chimes in, looking like he’s simply waiting for confirmation of what he already knows.

Spock blinks once, placidly, and says, “I see,” as if he is now in fact aware of the unfortunate misunderstanding taking place.  “Captain,” he starts, only to quickly step forward and lock a hand around the wrist of the man in question who is reaching for what he considers a beautiful gift (all-the-while murmuring appreciation for his officer’s unexpectedly romantic nature).  

“That would be highly inappropriate,” Spock remarks sharply.

Jim looks at him, surprised.  “It would?”

“But it’s for us!” Leonard argues, pursuing his mouth in consternation.

“I believe the creature is here to visit,” Spock informs them both, and the heart-shaped entity bobs in response.

Jim and Leonard snap their mouths closed as the entity proceeds to shimmer and sparkle with eagerness, signifying a strong desire to meet and learn about each of these beings so very unlike itself.

The men consider the newcomer a few seconds longer, share a look, and then return silently to the center of the Bridge.  Never has an encounter by a friendly creature inspired such abject disappointment, the remaining audience - barring one oblivious Vulcan commander - can mutually agree.  And it will be awhile before Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk hold a conversation with said curious visitor without simultaneously sending very long, very sad looks toward their mutual crush.

The entity has understood one defining characteristic of humankind, at least.  Love is, above all else, their greatest preoccupation!

[kairoscelrosis]

ST: Into Darkness

So I watched into darkness after a really long time, and for the first time after watching ST: WOK. And I liveblogged it.

*spoilers* 

Jim's so disappointed that Enterprise got taken away from him. owo

Aahh Carol Marcus is British

Scotty has a moral compass (which I feel TOS Scotty does as well)

When Kirk learns that Spuhura are fighting, and then the lift opens and Spock's about to enter, he looks at both of them. It really gives me the vibes that he knows both his partners are angry at him 😂

Bones McCoy: a dictionary of metaphors

Yaayyy Sulu on the chairrrr

Whaaatttt???? Sulu references Mudd (Harry freaking Mudd) in the movieeee!!!!! (He says: Acting Captain Sulu to Shuttle Bay 2. Please have the trade ship we confiscated during the Mudd incident last month fueled and flight ready) !!!!!

"If you test me, you WILL fail."

The way Bones' expression changesss 😂

"Mr. Sulu, remind me to never piss you off."

"I am not the only one who is upset at you. The Captain is too." "No no no no don't drag me into this."

"She IS right" spirkkkkk

"Captain we will not fit" "We'll fit. WE'LL FITTT."

"I told you we'll fit." "I am not sure that qualifies." 🤣

Why do the Klingons look so different???

Why is Benedict's voice so deep? Like deeper than usual.

SPUHURA 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Tho i hate that a british dude played KHAN, you can't deny Benedict's Khan has charisma

Carol Marcus says "I am a friend of Christine Chapel's" like what??? JJ do you even know that Christine would never be engaged with Kirk in a romantic relationship??? That he's not her type??? 🤢

"Any idea what caused it?" "No sir. But I expect full responsibility." Aww my baby chekov 🥺

"Jim? You're gonna wanna see this." Ooohhhhhh

Okay... so wasn't this Khan a dictator as well? Or like, did the Eugenics war never happen in AOS? Did JJ do this so that Khan would be morally grey? Cuz he loves Benedict? IDK

"I'm sorry." Ohh Kirk my bby 🥺🥺

SCOTTYYYYYY HELL YEAHHH YOU ARE A MIRACLE WORKER *cries in jimmy doohan*

"Captain, I strongly object." "To what? I haven't said anything yet." Bitch you really think he doesn't sense your crazy ideas?

"'The enemy of my enemy is my friend.'" "An Arabic proverb attributed to a pronce who was betryed and decapitated by his own subjects." 🤣🤣

Grab at the shoulder and "I cannot allow you to do this." and an almost "Jim"

"The Enterprise and her crew need someone in that chair that knows what he's doing... and that's not me." You can hear my heart shattering into a million pieces in the background.

How Jim's about to cry during that dialogue 🥺🥺🥺

Is there like... a competition going on between Pine and Benedict Cumberbatch trying to decide who's eyes are bluer???? Because I can't see anybody winning

"Captain. You can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew." Ooohh I so wanna punch you in the face. 👊

Aaaahhhhh TRIBBLLEEEEEEE

New Vulcaaaannn!!!! Our Spock's coming baaaackkkkkk yaaayyy

Aahh Sulu you are so talented

"This door is very wee. I mean, you know, small" 🤣

"It's gonna be like jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge, into your shot glass." "It's okay. I've done it before" Khan: 👀

"It's not easy. Just give me two seconds, all right, you mad bastard!" 😂😂

Bones, sitting down to watch the most scary movie of his life: Tell me this is gonna work.

Spock, shivering with fear in his seat: I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor. 😂😂😂😂

Bones: 👀 👀 Boy, you're a real comfort.

Omg Sulu's so nervous and worried 🥺

I actually kinda DO like the transitions.

"You're big." 😂

"Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about you bedside manner." Why is everyone so pbsessed with bedside manner in Star Trek😂😂

Scotty 😂😂😂 wheezing and panting, complaining he can't do it but he does 😂😂😂

Shitt the momentum!!! How would they have filmed that??? Rolling and rolling and rolling

LEONARDDD NIMOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Mr. Spock." "Mister Spock." Aaahhhhhhhhhh you both wanna kill meeeee 😂😂😂

He deserved that slap!!! GO CAROLL!!!!

"Where'd ya find this guy?" Ohh Scotty 😂

Spock!Prime really be like, "I can't tell you about it, but I am my own master, so I will. 😂

"Khan Noonien Singh is the most dangerous adversary the Ebeterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you." *cries in Ricardo Montalban*

"Did you defeat him?" "At great cost. Yes." Aaaaahhhhhhh how would you know the great costt spocckkkkk😭😭

The sudden appearance of the man scared the shit outta mee😂😂

"Where's Khan?" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH JIM SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO SPOOCCKKKK

Yaayyyy "Damn it, man, I'm a doctor not a torpedo technician!" 😂😂

"This way." Whewww.

Aaahh he's awakeeeee.

Yesss that's my Jim Kirk. No killing. Yes.

Aahhhhhhhhh. Wtf why're you punching Jimmmmm

Aahh Carolll ahahhh

Omg wtfffffffff nooooooooo frickfrickfrickfrickfrickk that was baaaddd

"Oh, you are smart, Mr. Spock." I really do wanna punch you in the face.

I will repeat myself. Having said that a white dude playing Khan is irritating, Benedict really does play him well.

Aahhh the ploy is same like the one in ST: WOK!! This time, it is Spock playing the game!!!

"Vulcans do not lie." Spock lies.

"No ship shoild go down without her captain." *silent screaming*

OMG he's firinggggg

"He armed the damn torpedoes." Is that pride I hear, Kirk

"Not bad, Commander." "Thank you, Lieutenant." XDDDD

Smarty pants Spock XD

WTF is Uhura doing in the Med Bay???

"Good to see you, Jim."

"Spock's cold, but he's not that cold. I've got Khan's crew." Awww :))))

"Seventy two human popsicles, safe and sound in their cryo tubes" POPSICLES😂😂😂😂

"Son of a bitch!"

"I hope you don't get seasick." 😂

"I will remain behind and divert all power to life supprt and evacuation shuttle bays." 🥺🥺

Sulu: Shut up, BITCH.

"I order you to abandon this ship!" The voice his voice cracks 😭 Who says Spock doesn't feel????

"All due respect, Commander, but we're not going anywhere." YEAAHHHH SULUUUUU GOOOO

"One day I've been off this ship! One bloody day!" Same, Scotty, same.

Hah. Running on walls😂

CHEKOV MY HEROOOOOO

Smart baby Chekov exclaiming in Russian.

"The ship's dead sir. She's gone." 😭😭😭

"You're not making the climb" JIM NOOOOO OH GOD YOU SELF SACRIFICING IDIOT.

Jim coming back to belt Scotty into place 🥺

How's he gonna do that????

Aaahh that oit of the clouds shot justttt 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Sulu's so HAPPYYY uwu

"It's a miracle." "There are no such things." Wait till you get to know Spock.

"Sir, you'd better get down here. Better hurry." *traumatic WOK flashbacks*

"How's OUR ship?" "Out of danger."

"That's a nice move." Is Jim referring to Chess????? You really have the nerve to do that???

"It is what you would have done." "And this, this is what you would have done." *TOS 😭😭😭😭*

"It was only logical."

"I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be."😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"I do not know. Right now I am failing." 😭😭😭

"Because you are my friend."😭😭😭

That Vulcan kisssssss 😭😭😭😭😭

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JIMMMM

KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Why tf is everyone wearing those weird goggles???

I don't like Zoe Saldana as Uhura AT ALL.

The way Zach's bangs are flying😂

BONEESSSSSS 😭😭😭

Yeaah yeah yeah yeah yeah that tribbleeee

How tf did spock jump that high???

Why doesn't he like nerve pinch him???

Why can't they use the blood of the man in the cryo???? They have the same blood right???

"You get that son of a bitch back on board right now!"

Ohnonononono he's tryna crush Spock's skull.

Shit Spock why so angry NOOOOOO

Yeah Spock stops when he hears the name 'Kirk'.

"You were barely dead." 😂

"Tell me, are you feeling homicidal? Pwer mad? Despotic?"

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know." Ohh bones😆😆

Spock called Kirk JIMMMMMMMMMMM

But, like, why didn't they kill Khan off??? He can be awakened again, can't he??? Like????

I love their formal uniforms!!!

Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy my introooooo 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"C'mon Bones, it's gonna be fun."

"Five years in space. God help me." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The fond look Spock has on his faceeeee

And on Jim's face toooooo

"I defer to your good judgement, Captain." 🥺🥺🥺

[sarcastic-space-gal]

Dark Past (Part 1)

Summary: Black shirts are supposed to be the most trained and deadly members of the Starfleet. However, they are considered just stories or legends, because no one has ever saw one before. But after John Harrison attacks the London’s Archive, the Enterprise may acquire a new crew member.

Part 2 

Pairing: ?

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Fighting (?)

A/N: Hi everyone! It was a long time since I wrote for Star Trek and I thought this was the time for another story. The pairing is voluntarily mysterious, if you want to guess who will be, send me a message or comment!  Hope you will like it, feedback is always appreciated. Love you all xoxo

The only one or the last one? Everyone who ever looked at you wondered about that every time, whether it was out loud or in their mind, and even he didn’t want to admit it, Kirk did ask to himself the same thing. I mean, seeing a black shirt was rather rare in the Starfleet, many of the crew members around the ships always thought about them as legends or as made up stories used to intimidate the enemies. As the Captain thought, they were probably rumors, just some odd, silly stories told by students in the Academia. Turned out, it was totally untrue.

When Admiral Pike convened all the Captains in order to decide what to do about John Harrison, Kirk couldn’t help but find in Pike’s expression a slight hint of concern: John Harrison was probably more than just a terrorist, what was his real purpose?

Admiral Marcus entered the meeting room “Be seated”

“By now some of you know what happened in London. The target was a Starfleet data archive. Now it’s a damned hole in the ground, 42 men and women are dead”

Silence filled the room.

“One hour ago, I received a message from a Starfleet officer, who confessed to carrying out this attack, that he was being forced to do it by this man, Commander John Harrison. He’s one of our own. And he is the man responsible for this act of savagery.”

“A single man against all Starfleet?”

“That’s what it seems” Marcus responded simply.

“I think we must introduce the black shirt”

After Admiral Pike had spoken everyone in the room started murmuring to each others both in surprise and amusement.

Marcus looked down at the table, hesitant “Are you sure about this?” he asked at Pike.

“Sir, what are you talking about? I thought that black shirts were just a story” a rather young captain said suddenly.

Marcus sighed and looked even more serious “Those stories are true” he said.

Kirk shared a confused look with Spock, who was on the opposite side of the table.

“But we have no time for a campfire story now. Kirk” he glared at him, making the captain’s eyes dart to him “the black shirt will go with you and your crew on the Enterprise, you will track him down and kill him.”

The Enterprise was his again. But something in all the situation just didn’t sound right. An archive? Why bombing an archive? What was his real purpose?

Soon after, Marcus invited him to talk about the matter, seeing him and Pike murmuring frantically.

What happened next was completely unexpected. As soon as Jim explained his concerns about the matter, the room shined in a deep red light as John Harrison appeared in a jumpship and attacked Starfleet Headquarters. It was a bloodshed. Many members of the Senior Council died along with Admiral Pike.

Kirk almost couldn’t believe it when he saw Pike’s limp body on the couch.

After that night Kirk was wracked, emotionally and physically. He knew he had to regain his composure, for him, for his crew, and for Pike: he had to complete the mission.

Admiral Alexander Marcus reinstated Kirk and Spock to Enterprise with orders to kill Harrison using a new long range stealth photon torpedo.

“Jim, I know you are here c’mon!” Kirk heard a far-to-well known voice coming from outside his cabin.

“Bones I told you already, I’m fine!” he said opening the door and quickly heading to the shuttle. The doctor was right after him with medical equipment steady in his hand ready to check on Jim.

“The hell you are” he said but the Captain could see his concern behind the snarky response.

With a heavy sigh he gave his friend a small smile “I’m fine”

Bones didn’t insist this time.

“Everything is ready Spock?”

“Yes Captain, we are ready to reach the Enterprise”

Suddenly a sound of quick footsteps echoed in the hangar as everyone’s attention was brought to Scotty. “Jim a black shirt? Aboard? I heard the others talking about it but I wanted to hear it from you sir” Spock and Kirk shared a look.

“It’s true” Jim said with a small smile. He wasn’t sure what to say, because the pieces of information he had were quite limited, even if he was the captain.

“Well, that’s a surprise” responded Bones folding his arms. The doctor was really curious and even if he would never admit it, he was rather excited. He wasn’t the only one: by the time they were talking, a small group of crew members formed around the Captain, probably out of curiosity. Word travels fast.

“We will all talk about the mission and the new uhm, member of the crew on the Enterprise, for now let’s just get there and gather everything we need”

With a shared sigh of delusion all the crew members who gathered around the captain quickly went to take their seats on the shuttle.

The Enterprise was ready to fly, all the check ups were done. Bones was gathering medical supplies in his studio when the sound of Jim’s voice echoed through the ship’s speakers. A meeting. And everyone knew what was the matter.

“C’mon let’s go and see this mythical creature” he said.

The CMO reached the bridge after few minutes and walked up to Jim and Spock who were talking to Sulu. Jim looked a lot better than few hours ago, as Spock kept his usual quite demeanor, with his hands behind his straight back, but Sulu was hiding a small smile, probably out of excitement.

“So? Where is the legendary black shirt?” the doctor said sarcastically.

“Trust me Bones, I was surprised too”

Sulu nodded “I think we all are, sir”

Suddenly the elevator’s doors opened to reveal a figure who steadily entered the bridge. The room went silent, all the chattering muted almost instantly as if their breaths were caught in their throats.

Adjusting the fabric of your uniform, you entered in the elevator and pushed the button. Your hands went behind your back as you used to do when meeting the Captain or the person in charge. Your eyes closed as you moved your shoulder softly inward and outward a few times, trying to relieve some of the nervousness. The elevator took just few seconds to reach the bridge but they were enough for your mind to drift away. So much time had passed since you joined a normal ship, with normal crew members, but it was quite refreshing you had to admit it. You opened your eyes again and saw your reflection on the glass doors of the elevator. The black fabric of your suit still fitted perfectly, even if you probably didn’t want it to be. This mission was very important and you had to handle it in the best way you could, as a black shirt should do.

With a soft sound the elevator reached its destination and you entered the bridge, feeling all the crew’s eyes on you. Even if you were aware of the fact that black shirts were considered nothing more than stories and jokes, that was probably why everyone’s mouth went shout the moment you entered.

Walking steadily with you arms still behind your back and a severe but calm expression, you approached the captain, who was now watching you attentively as you could attack someone at any moment. The men close to them looked the same way, only the Vulcanian First Officer remained calm, even if you noticed the slight movement of his weird-shaped eyebrow going up in slight surprise.

“Captain Kirk” you said, standing right in front of him “I’m the black shirt assigned to your mission, I’m really glad to be part of the Enterprise’s crew. My name is Y/n”

He looked at you hesitantly “We are happy to have you here, welcome to the crew Y/n” he then said with a small smile.

“Let me introduce you our First Officer, Spock”

“Welcome aboard Lieutenant” he respectfully said with a smile.

“Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, the Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy with his ‘legendary hands’”

The doctor turned his face towards Kirk and muttered “Unbelievable” 

“and Lieutenant Uhura”

You listened carefully and shook their hands, but all the time you felt two pair of eyes  on you, which you didn’t mind it at all. But now you had a mission, you had to keep yourself focused.

“So you exist” a male voice with a thick Russian accent caught your ears. The yellow shirt was a very young man who was looking at you in awe.

“Well,” you started, but Kirk quickly replied.

“I must say, as Mr Chekov has already introduced, that is very surprising, for all of us, to see a black shirt around”

“I understand that, we’re not so popular around”

Everyone had to admit it, your presence was quite intimidating, maybe for the deep color of your suit, but instead your voice was so calm and gentle, and at the same time steady and strong. They all probably expected a massive muscular mountain-looking man with a neutral face probably drooling in rage. Instead here you were, with the calmest voice in the universe and a killer look that rose in your face every time your smile faded. If possible, everyone was even more intrigued and they were all waiting to see you in action.

“Definitely not enough” Mr Chekov said with a small smile on his face.

“Mr Chekov, I think you should get back to the warp core”

“U- yes sir” he said before sprinting out.

You couldn’t hold back a small laugh.

“Well, Y/n, let me explain the mission”

Apparently John Harrison was now on Kronos. Perfect. Klingons. you thought. It didn’t matter what creature you would face, your had to complete this mission. You began gathering all thing you needed, eyes darting around your supplies with determination. When you were finally ready you headed towards the bridge.

Walking around the corridors was amusing: everyone looked at you like they saw a dragon let loose, but you were far too used to it. A long time ago this was normality...

Ten minutes had passed since the ship entered the planet’s atmosphere and even if the area was supposed to be uninhabited, a Klingon ship suddenly appeared in the sky. The captain had tried few quick maneuvers to avoid them but ultimately you found yourselves surrounded and forced to land.

Lieutenant Uhura offered herself to go out and try to talk to them, leaving you, Kirk, Spock and two others crew members aboard ready to take action.

“We should help her”

Spock looked at the captain “I would not recommend that”

Kirk sighed and then turned his head towards you “When was the last time you went on a mission Lieutenant?”

“Surprisingly not so much time ago Captain” you said as your eyes kept staring forward.

Some Klingon soldiers approached Uhura as she started talking to them in their language. Kirk’s hand tightened around the blaster.

Few seconds went by when suddenly the soldier talking to the lieutenant grabbed her neck ferociously, lifting her up.

“NOW” you shouted while exiting the ship as you started shooting at the Klingons. Uhura took advantage of the moment and stabbed the Klingon, who released the grip on her neck with a horrible scream.

Kirk and Spock, along with the others red shirts, followed you out the ship and started shooting too. The captain’s eyes searched for you in the battlefield but you were nowhere to be seen. Furrowing his eyebrows, he had no time to think about that and kept fighting.

All of a sudden, from an unknown position, someone started shooting at the Klingons.

“Where is Y/n? And who is it?” Kirk shouted while leaning on his back as Spock and Uhura approached him. That’s when he saw you, when they all saw you. With extreme agility you were fighting against the soldiers, swinging your legs and shooting, you never missed a shot. You were so skilled that all your movement almost seemed staged, as your eyes darted in every direction, fully focused. When all the Klingons around you were finally down, you looked up and saw a figure, your features darkened in rage. Kirk and the others looked up too and saw the mysterious figure pull off his mask to reveal John Harrison himself.

“John Harrison! You are-” Kirk started, but he couldn’t finish what he was saying because it all happened so fast.

Harrison jumped down from his high position without even flinching and started aiming his weapons, but, much to Kirk’s surprise, he was aiming them at you.

“You” he said in a deep and steady voice. He then dropped the blasters as you did.

Only few meters separated you both, as everything around you went silent for an instant: you stood steadily in front of him with an intense and undefined look on your face.

Kirk, Spock and Uhura shared a quick glance as they all thought the same thing. He knows her? What is happening?

“Khan”

As soon as you responded, you ran to him and started fighting with all your strength, punching, kicking as he did the same. Khan grabbed you neck but with a rapid movement you moved his hand away, pushing his elbow down and then swinging back your leg making him fall to the ground. You had no time to punch him because he had already stood up and punched you in the face. As nothing even had touched you responded striking a hard blow to his chest.

“So you work with them now?”

“Always had, always will” you responded seriously. He then took a gun from his belt and fired at you, hitting you on your shoulder.

“NO!” your crew members shouted, but they were all soon surprised.

You turned again towards Khan, your suit now had a big hole where the shot pierced but you weren’t bleeding, your skin was red but instead the wound was rapidly healing, leaving no trace of the hit.

Kirk watched in utter confusion as Spock and Uhura kept their weapons aimed to Harrison or… Khan.

He saw your skin healing and scoffed a little.

“Like I thought” his low voice pierced you ears. Analyzing the situation he asked one last question “How many torpedoes do you have on the ship?”

“72” Spock said.

You looked at him, your face contorted in rage.

He then looked back at Kirk “I surrender”

[boldlygo-boldlygoing-boldlygone]

And We Do It All Again - Chapter 7

Summary: Jim has two big problems right now. The first is that he is hopelessly in love with his First Officer and his Chief Medical Officer, and neither seems to return his feelings. The second is that he’s stuck in a time loop where his ship is destroyed and his crew killed, over and over again.

Things can never be simple for James T. Kirk, can they?

Warnings: angst, (temporary) character death, swearing, time loops, suicide attempt in a later chapter (again, it’s in a time loop so it doesn’t really work)

Pairing: McSpirk

Chapter 7 of 7

First  Previous Next

A/N: Can also be read here on AO3!

-

Jim woke and sighed, his eyes catching the chess board, the whiskey glasses. A familiar sight by now. He thought about the confessions.

Without another thought, he rolled in his bed and grabbed his communicator. Bones and Spock arrived together, just as Jim finished pulling on his uniform.

"Jim, is all well?"

"Seriously, you better be dying. I was still asleep!"

"I need to tell you both something." Jim informed them, watching them enter the room from his seat on the bed.

"It couldn't wait until breakfast?"

"It's waited long enough." Jim looked at them both, love and a desperate need for them to know rising in him. "This may sound insane, but I promise, I am mentally and physically fine. Bones, you can even check after this, if you want." He began calmly. Both looked concerned, but he continued before they could interrupt. "I am in love with both of you. Have been for a while."

There was a long silence, a moment where they both just stared at her. Then, Spock spoke.

"Captain, I must ask, what has caused this outburst?"

Jim shrugged. "It needed to be said. I'm tired of hiding it." He was so damn tired. It had been so long and he was just so tired. It felt good to admit this. After the last few cycles, it almost felt natural.

"Jim, stop messing around."

"I'm not." He shrugged. "I'm in love with both of you. Whatever happens next is up to you guys. I don't expect anything, but I needed you to know."

"T'hy'la." The word was whispered reverently, Spock's voice shaking. Jim felt a smile tugging at his face despite his exhaustion.

Bones glanced between the two then straightened, shaking his head. "Idiots." He mumbled, turning for the door. Jim rose to stop him, but Spock beat him to it. Spock caught the doctor's wrist and pulled him back. "Leonard. Please, do not leave. I- I must confess, I have also been harboring feelings for both of you as well."

Bones didn't look convinced. "Look, you two are great for each other. You don't need me mucking it up. Just- let me go with my dignity."

"Shut up, Bones." Jim couldn't think of a time when his heart had felt so full.

"I must agree, Leonard."

"This is insane. Actually insane. You just wanna jump into a polygamous relationship? What's the crew gonna say?"

"It's the 23rd century, Bones. I think it'll be okay. And we don't need to rush into anything. Like I said, I don't expect anything. I just... I needed you to know."

"Perhaps we should continue this conversation after our respective shifts. It is nearly time for us to be on the bridge, Jim."

Jim nodded. "We can meet here at 2300, okay? We'll figure out what this all means." The promise of later felt so abstract, so unreal, but it was what they'd expect him to offer. So he offered it.

"Affirmative."

"I guess."

Jim stepped forward, love washing over him as he took the two in. Then, he grabbed Bones and pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you, Bones."

Bones returned the hug. "Love you too, kid." His voice was gruff, but Jim knew better.

In the turbolift with Spock, Jim put a hand on his First Officer's bicep. "I know touch is sacred to Vulcans, so I don't expect anything. I just want you to know I love you."

Spock looked at him, face as calm as Jim had ever seen it. "I love you as well, Jim."

It should have made him happy. Here was Spock, saying he loved him. After everything, it should have been a relief. Somehow it only managed to break his heart.

"Captain on the bridge!"

He sat through his shift, sneaking glanced at Spock (who was doing the same to him) and hating everything. It had been shockingly easy. They weren't his yet, but they were willing to talk. They were both interested.

Well, Spock was. Bones hadn't said it explicitly, but Jim could remember how he'd kissed him, how he'd gripped him. He knew Bones loved him. He suspected he'd always known, deep down. Until now, he'd just been too afraid to allow himself to hope. Of course, now knowing that didn't do him much good. Not when he'd wake tomorrow starting all over again.

"Sir, there's an unidentified ship approaching."

There it was. The worst ship in the galaxy. If only he could stop it. Steer the ship to some safe location. Maybe get aboard it and-

Get aboard it.

An idea hit him hard and he jumped up, body in motion even before his mind had fully considered this new plan. "Mr. Sulu, shields up! Mr. Spock, take the con!"

"Captain-"

"Do it, that's an order!" He called, already sprinting from the room.

He commed Scotty to meet him in the transporter room. They both arrived just as the first hit shook the ship. Jim jumped onto the platform, the seconds ticking away in his head. "Beam me onto that ship!"

"Sir, I don't know if-"

"That's an order!"

Scotty's eyes widened and he began punching buttons, clearly shocked. Jim wasn't one to bark orders like that.

He wasn't sure where he was when he landed, but he had a half-formed plan and that was further than he usually got. Jim took off, squinting at the signs and arrows directing him. As he ran, he shot any and all he came across.

"Enterprise to Captain Kirk!" There was a tightness to Spock's voice. A small shift, something most wouldn't notice. But Jim knew his first officer well. Spock was not pleased with him.

"Kirk here." Jim responded, slightly out of breath as he approached the engineering room.

"Captain, you must beam back aboard the Enterprise immediately. We do not know who is controlling this ship, but they are clearly hostile."

"Can't, Spock. Nothing else is gonna work, they're too strong. I'm taking it down from the inside."

"Captain-"

"Sorry, Spock." Jim snapped the communicator shut and shoved it back into his pocket, just in time. He sprinted into the engineering room, scanning for the most volatile pieces of machinery. It didn't take long to find them. Jim wasn't entirely sure what he was doing. He knew how the Enterprise ran. He knew what to do to keep her happy (though not as happy as Scotty kept her), but this wasn't the Enterprise. It was all cruder, more basic machinery.

Good thing he wasn't trying to keep this ship happy.

"Hey!"

Jim spun, phaser up and firing, but too late. He gasped, grabbing his side as pain seared through him. Huh. Being shot. That was certainly different. Boarding the enemy ship really had opened a world of possibilities.

Still, his aim was true and the last guard was down. He turned back to the equipment and set to work destroying anything he could get his hands on. The timer inside his head was running out. Jim counted himself lucky, then, when something exploded a few feet away from him. The force knocked him down and sent pain up his side, but he ignored it and scrambled to his feet, sprinting for the door.

"Kirk to Enterprise! Requesting immediate beam up, if you have the capability! I repeat, requesting immediate-"

It was too late. Just as he cleared the door, fire engulfed him, catching him and spitting him out. It was somehow just like being on the Enterprise as it exploded and yet so different. Briefly, he was relieved he didn't have to see Bones or Spock die again. As he was thrown out into space, he shut his eyes and let the darkness come, that thought a comfort as he slipped away. Maybe next time he'd figure out how to save them all. Maybe next time, he'd do better.

. . .

He woke slowly and repressed a sigh, keeping his eyes shut this time. Briefly, he wondered if this was a day when he stayed in bed. It was like his pain from the last day had followed him. Everything ached and he was so, so tired. Still, he should probably keep working. Getting aboard the other ship was new. Exploring that might bring new choices. He had to escape this damn loop somehow. There had to be a way. There had to be.

It was just so hard to keep going.

"Jim?"

And now he was hearing things. Great. This damn loop had finally driven him crazy. He thought repeating the same day would keep that from happening, but evidently not. Because now he was hearing Spock's voice, and-

"Jimmy, open your eyes."

And Bones. Great, just great. Like this wasn't hard enough as it was.

"We can see your vitals. We know you're awake."

Might as well get it over with. Sighing softly, Jim let his eyes fall open.

He wasn't in his room.

Immediately, he bolted up, eyes widening and head twisting, searching the area. He was in the sickbay, in a private room. Spock and Bones stood beside him. "Woah, calm down!" Bones grabbed him and forced him back. "You need to lay down!"

"I'm not in my room."

"No, you're not." Bones scowled. "What the hell were you thinking, beaming onto that ship? You're lucky Scotty had the brains to get Chekov to catch you or you'd be dead right now!"

"Chekov caught me?"

"Yeah, after that damn ship blew up and spit you out."

"Wait, the ship- Is the Enterprise okay?"

"Oh for God's sake!"

"Yes, Jim." Spock responded. "There was substantial damage, but because of your early order to put up shields and distraction aboard the other ship, we were able to avoid destruction."

"How many dead?"

"None. Thirty-six injuries, but no deaths."

No deaths. Not a single one.

"We very nearly had one." Bones scowled at Jim, jabbing a hypo into his neck. "You damn fool!"

"Ow, Bones!" Jim complained.

"Don't wanna get hypoed, don't almost get yourself killed!"

"I had to."

"No you didn't!" Bones' eyes were burning. "You pull this damn stunt right after telling us you're in love with us and you expect me to believe you had to? Bullshit!"

"Bones-"

"I was preparing my speech to convince you two to enjoy yourselves without me and then I find out you beamed onto an unknown, hostile ship? Seriously, Jim?"

"I'm sorry."

"You damn well should be! You're an idiot!"

"I am."

Bones stared at him for a long moment, then grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss. "If you'd died before I had a chance to kiss you, I'd have brought you back just to kill you again myself."

"Noted." Jim let out a breathy laugh, chest bubbly with too many emotions to process. He could feel Spock's eyes on him, so he turned and raised two fingers, remembering the Vulcan way of kissing. The corner of Spock's lips turned up and he returned the gesture. Before Jim could speak, however, Spock's other hand curled around the back of Jim's neck. He pulled Jim into a human kiss. It was gentler than Bones', but still filled with emotion.

"As illogical as it is, I must agree with Leonard." He said once they'd pulled apart. "You must learn not to endanger yourself."

Jim let his eyes flutter shut and he laughed again, breathy and tired and so relieved. "I think I can do that. For you two."

Bones snorted. "Yeah right."

"Hey!"

"Lay back down. You still need to rest."

"I'm fine!"

"You were shot, you arm was nearly burned off, and you almost suffocated. Shut up and rest."

"Bones!" Jim moaned, obeying none the less. He let the doctor work, smiling fondly as he grumbled and Spock stood over his bed, watching with those sharp eyes of his. He thought about explaining his actions. Telling them about the loop, about being stuck going through the same day over and over. Giving them the highlights of his experience. But then Spock's fingers pressed rest lightly against his wrist and Bones' hands lingered a moment longer than necessary on his shoulder and he knew he couldn't ruin this. So he lay still and let their presences wash over him.

It was over. The nightmare was finally over. And in this moment, he didn't want to relive any of it. He'd tell them eventually. He'd explain why he'd done what he had, tell them about the highs and lows of his experience, about how much he'd seen and done and felt, but for now he just wanted to remain in the present and let himself feel loved.

And how so very loved he felt.

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 1: 3x06 Spectre of the Gun

Okay so, it might be a little early to declare myself a S3 apologist, since there are still a lot of eps I’ve never seen, but I feel like I’m pretty close..

This ep was so good!! Honestly I think it’s one of my faves. And perfect to usher in Spooky Season.

Honestly, this show really is my happy place. Just all the characters together on the bridge, on some kinda adventure, looking at weird space buoys and investigating stuff.

Again, this buoy looks like a Windows 98 screensaver.

Kirk keeps referring to Spock as “Science Officer.” Is he mad at him? Full of some particularly intense longing that requires him to put extra distance between them?

Excuse me, you address US as aliens? YOU’RE the aliens.

Hmmm, so it seems they’re not friendly.

It’s addressing them in different languages!!! I love it. Love the reminder that Uhura’s first language is not English,also.

“True telepaths are dangerous.” As opposed to fake telepaths like Vulcans lol?

The Melkotians withdrew immediately. They invented space travel, they saw space, and they said “not for us” and they turned around and left. McCoy would like them; they’d have a lot to gripe about together.

The welcome mat is NOT out.

“Unlike Mr. Scott’s transporter, this unit is not functioning.”

It legit looked like Spock put his hand on Kirk’s back there. Like he clearly raises it, but not far enough to be seen above Kirk, so like.. what was the point? Where did it go?

LEE CRONIN--oh no, flashbacks lol.

“We come in peace”--immediately pulls out gun.

I should have watched this when writing my Western fic.

Just bits and pieces of a Western town... and a completely red sky...

The guns are “crude but dangerous.” If only Sulu were here; he’d love this.

An announcement with a specific time and place on it--that’s a very precise detail to just pull from their minds. Must have come from Kirk’s, that nerd. Maybe Spock. But probably Kirk.

“Because my ancestors pioneered the American frontier.” I mean did they really get to the frontier? Or just... the Midwest?

Maybe it’s actually because he’s a cowboy at heart?

Aliens using his own ancestral sins as the pattern for his own death for breaking their law IS a great (possibly partially unintended) idea. Oh also, if they think that Kirk and co. are here to ‘tame’ or colonize them, then the Western setting makes even more sense--you’re no different from your ancestors, you came somewhere new and brought lawlessness and violence and death, but not this time!

Can you believe Kirk knows all of these details about the OK Corral? NERD.

Spock is so proud of himself for knowing the phrase “had it out.” Look, I used slang correctly!

These are some creative aliens.

“We know death is real here.” Or is it? They’re literally telepaths guys.

Hmmm, this building doesn’t need a roof I think. - The aliens probably

Can’t believe Scotty thinks his usual is his actual usual lol. You’re going to drink bourbon and like it!

Kirk and Spock look so good together.

They’re obviously Chekov’s disapproving parents.

“The day is still young, Ensign.” I don’t remember the exact context of this but Spock is SO judgmental.

What is Kirk doing? This guy is a hallucination; he won’t be convinced by touching some cloth. There’s nothing to convince! He’s only a Concept.

“Have you seen clothes like this?” / “Yes.” / “Where?” / “On the Claytons!” Comedy gold.

Kirk really thinks he can charm his way out of anything. Hmmm, maybe if I just talk nicely to the Earps, they won’t kill us.

“In small amounts, it [bourbon] was considered medicinal.” Lol.

Scotty is becoming a bourbon guy!

“Mr. Chekov is inVOLVed” lol. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

“A lot of people and things have tried to kill me.” No need to brag.

THAT’S how you make a city limits sign. Put a dead animal skull on top. I live quite close to a city limits sign and I think it could use a cow skull.

Western Cossacks!!

Poisonous snakes and cactus plants. That really distills the Aesthetic down to its core.

This is a good Kirk episode. He’s really being a good Captain: coming up with different ideas, being creative, pushing his crew to brainstorm.

Bones and his tranqs again.

Bones meets his old nemesis: Old Timey Medicine.

Why was Doc Holiday just...chilling in his own dentist chair? (My mom suggested: power nap. Let’s go with that. Power nap + ability for optimally dramatic entrance.)

Also I can’t believe McCoy just goes into this guy’s practice and starts helping himself to all the serious drugs.

Chekov definitely isn’t the marrying kind.

RIP Chekov.

Bones does not sound very sympathetic here. Jim, get over it, he just died, whatever.

And then two seconds later he turns around and tells Spock he’s not sad enough! You can’t win.

“We all knew the risk when we joined the service.”

“My feelings are not a subject for discussion.” !!!!!!! This line!!

“You worked closely with him.” Yes! Chekov is his protege!

“Bones, Scotty, stop bullying Spock.” <-- not an actual quote but it might as well be.

If this were AOS, Spock would already be choking Bones out.

Whoops, no one told Chekov he wasn’t supposed to die!

“Let’s organize! Let’s form an anti-Earp union!”

“I can’t kill them!” he says in a mad rage.

I mean, it is important, though. That’s not what he does.

Kirk is /disgusted/ by lawlessness and frontier justice. What a Rebel TM.

I feel like Bones was waiting for the gotcha moment when Spock compliments him. “Saying nice things about me? That’s not how this relationship works!”

“Nothing can go wrong.” / “Up to now, everything has gone wrong.” He has a point.

That pause before Spock admitted it hasn’t been tested lol--they don’t want to admit it.

“[The bourbon’s] for the pain.” / “But this is painless.” / “You should have told me that before.” The unexpected comedy stylings of Scotty and Spock.

It doesn’t work--guess Spock’s got to take back that compliment now.

“Captain, you don’t understand--they’ve been telepaths the whole time which we already knew!”

“We’re not going to move from the spot.” * is immediately in a different spot * Well I mean at least he’s trying. He’s doing his best!

Love the OK Corral sign also. Weirdly creepy. With its accompanying horse.

Spock doesn’t have any hips for the holster to rest on.

“What did Chekov die of?” / “A piece of lead in his body.” That would do it.

If the tranquilizer should have been effective, does that mean Scotty is actually passed out right now?

Honestly, this is all so spooky. TRUE Western Horror Ghost Vibes.

Also very trippy. If you don’t believe it... it’s not real... some kinda weird chicken and the egg argument regarding our belief in the truth of physical laws idk but it sounds good. Spock brings it home.

Even with the wind whipping around him, Kirk is SO in love. His absolutely adoring expression... So soft...

“Very well, Sir, I’ll meld with you again. Not that I particularly want to. It will be a sacrifice. But I’ll manage. Even though you’re such a dynamic individual haha ha I’m fine I’m cool.”

I feel like Scotty is NOT into the mind meld. He looks terrified. Maybe he should have saved the bourbon for this occasion.

I know the mind meld is supposed to be a replacement for on screen hypnotism...but is this not hypnotism? Like even more than past uses? In this case, Spock is leaving them with suggestions that he wants to continue AFTER the meld, as opposed to, like, efficiently sharing information or giving immediate suggestions. And the scenes themselves are very creepy and...hypnotic.

Kirk’s patented move: WHOLE BODY ATTACK.

Well, we wrapped that up right quick.

Did they... never actually leave the bridge? Or even navigate past the buoy? This actually brings up a lot of questions as to when the aliens started the hallucinations, what their bodies looked like to the rest of the crew, and how they woke up--since there’s obviously been a bit of a time skip, as Bones is already examining Chekov.

Lol at Chekov, saved by horniness. “Nothing but the girl was real to him.”

“A vast alliance of fellow creatures who all believe in the same thing...”

Kirk’s vision of the utopian future is so powerful, he’s effectively gotten the welcome mat put back out.

A personal question? Kirk is intrigued.

Ah, but it’s just another excuse for Spock to be a hypocrite--how did humans survive? How did VULCANS survive? And for the show to remind us of its utopian vision of the future... we will move past violence, we will prove ourselves attractive to and worth of new alien friends.

Then McCoy walks out so Kirk and Spock can have their Moment. He undoubtedly knows what’s up.

So this ep was shown one day before the anniversary of the shootout at the OK Corral AND on Halloween week. It is very much a spooky season episode. So surreal and strange. Ghostly.

I know using sets rather than on location shoots, and not even building whole sets, was a budgetary issue but tbqh I think it worked in the ep’s favor. It added to the alien feeling of it and was an accidentally creative way of showing that these images were pulled from Kirk’s mind.

This felt like a very Classic S1-ish ep to me. I think it’s because Kirk was foregrounded as the Captain/hero and we get to see not just his intelligence and creativity and leadership but also his compassion and his moral core. He IS the values of the series, personified, and that was clear here.

But we also got to see lots of him and Spock, casually working as a pair, and the use of the rest of the landing party crew was very deft also. I loved that there was time to mock Chekov’s horniness, to talk about Spock and Chekov’s professional relationship, to joke around with Scotty, to show more of the Spock and Bones dynamic.

Again, great sci fi concept. I think this would have been another possible inspo for my Pirate AU if I’d seen it in time (although I think I picked a good mission-concept ultimately). I’m fascinated by the Melkotians: who are they? What do they really look like? Do they communicate any other way but telepathically? Are they corporeal? What is their planet like? And most importantly, what experience lead them to be so isolationist? They specifically refer to the aliens as “disease” coming into their home. And it’s when Kirk shows himself to be fundamentally nonviolent even in the face of his own death, they let the Enterprise through.

Basically, I always enjoy hints of alien societies that bring up more questions for me than answers. I love speculating about it.

The next two eps I’ve seen and remember well and I know they’re classics. I’m really looking forward to them!

[httpfandxms]

Exploring a New World (7/30)

Pairing: James T. Kirk x Reader

A/N: Hi everyone!! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did. I really tried to add a lot more dialogue for Y/n, but feel free to let me know if I should add more lines for the character or any other type of suggestions. If something doesn’t make sense please let me know. I love your comments and it truly helps me keep going! 

I just want to apologize for my absence this past week. I wasn’t in a good place mentally because my “friends” are being very cruel to me for some reason so it was very hard for me to concentrate on anything else. It sadly is still an on going situation, but I have my family and my one good friend as well as you all to help me through this so thank you very much!

Just a little FYI: I wanted to add the scene where James becomes Captain in this chapter because I felt it would flow better. However, I’m having a little problem for the next chapter so I moved it there. When I eventually edit this whole series and I’ve hopefully figured out extra scenes for part 8, I’ll probably stick that scene back in this chapter where I originally wanted it.

Leonard entered the med bay while you closed the curtain around a patient. While he made his way over to you, he said, “you know Spock wanted to speak with you as well, but I saved you the trouble since you usually start hitting people when you’re angry at them.” He stopped right beside you and grinned.

You pushed his arm lightly, “I do not do that.”

He let out a small gasp, “see, you just pushed me.”

“Stop it,” you groaned with a smile. “How’d it go with Spock? Did he take that stick out of his Vulcan butt and admit about making the wrong choice about Kirk?”

“Of course he didn’t,” he scoffed. “All he did was acknowledge our friendship to Jim and then he…”

“Then he what?”

He mumbled something incoherent.

“What? Speak up.”

Leonard crossed his arms as he looked away from you then grumbled, “he threw my metaphor back in back in my face.”

You laughed, “about time someone did.”

“That’s funny to you huh,” he asked to which you nodded in response. “Oh, well then how would you like that I throw your feelings for Jim in your face?”

Your smile fell off your face and was replaced with a slight frown as you shook your head and avoided his eyes, “I-I don’t have feelings for Kirk.”

“Oh really? Okay then, what’s with the weird sexual tension and flirting that’s been happening for the past three years? And why do you only call him, James, when you have your guard down? You only ever call him Kirk when it’s professional or when you’re closing yourself off.” You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued, “I know you care about him, maybe more than you realize, but you can’t keep lying to yourself that you don’t.”

You chewed on your lip as you felt your cheeks heat up. You pondered for a moment, but then scoffed, “you’re ridiculous.”

Chapel walked over to you two, “sorry to interrupt, but Dr. McCoy, one of the injured crew members that were requested for a checkup left before we could proceed.”

Leonard replied, “I’ll see to it. Thank you.” She nodded then went back to her duties. He watched as she walked further away from you both then turned his attention back to you and said, “can you go find him?”

“W-what, no! Leonard, I have my own patients to take care of,” you whined. “My day is full while you’re just sitting around in your office probably picking random gunk off the bottom of your shoes. You just said you’ll take care of it yourself so you do it.”

“I don’t want to look for him,” he whined. “I’m your chief medical officer so you have to do as I say.”

You crossed your arms, “don’t you dare pull rank on me, that’s not fair.”

“Oh I’m definitely pulling rank on you. You think I want to go around looking for a patient who doesn’t want to be here,” Leonard babbled. “so have fun playing hide and go seek because I sure as hell am not playing.”

“You’re the worst pain in my ass,” you remarked.

“Oh, that’s an upgrade. I thought Jim was the worst,” he teased. “Anyways, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t annoy you at least once every day.”

“A better one,” you mumbled to which he laughed and gave you a light shove towards the exit. You waved him off as you said, “I’m going, I’m going. You owe me one, though.”

~

You walked along the engineering deck pursuing your search for the patient. Just as you turned a corner, you heard someone yell, “Mr. Scott.”

At the sight of a familiar blond, you froze and softly asked, “James?” You shook your head out of your slight daze. “H-How are you back on the ship?”

Kirk chuckled, “that’s a bit of a long sto-” he was interrupted by a knocking within the machinery beside him. Kirk’s eyes went wide and quickly placed his ear to it then yelled, “Mr. Scott, can you hear me?”

You quickly made your way beside Kirk and asked, “is someone actually in there?” A man appeared in the tube who you could only assume was Mr. Scott. “Oh my God.”

“Hold on a second,” Kirk yelled.

You and Kirk ran after the man while following the tube. The man went further away from us as he went up the vertical tube which made Kirk yelled, “No, no!”

Kirk kept his eyes on the man, yet your eyes quickly set on something else. “Kirk,” you said while you tapped his arm. He brought his attention to you and followed the direction to which your eyes were set on. Mr. Scott was heading towards the water turbines.

You ran towards the control board and Kirk quickly followed. You both pressed on various controls to release the valve that was located just before the turbine. The computer announced, “turbine release valve activated.”

The door opened and Mr. Scott fell to the floor with water pooling around him. Kirk kneeled over him and asked, “you alright?”

You knelt beside the two men and asked, “sir, are you okay?”

Mr. Scott sat up and coughed up water. “My heads’ buzzing and I’m soaked, but otherwise I’m fine,” he spoke in a thick accent. He gave you a once-over then turned to Kirk, “do you see her too or am I dreaming?”

Kirk only laughed as he shook his head.

“My name’s Y/n and you must be Mr. Scott,” you said then stuck your hand out.

He gladly took your hand and gave it a firm shake as he responded, “aye, but you call me Scotty.”

Kirk looked over to you and smirked, “what are you doing out here instead of in med bay?”

“Well… we um. We actually lost a patient,” you shrugged.

“I’m so sorry,” Kirk consoled.

“Oh, no! I didn’t mean he’s dead,” you blurted then let out a laugh. “He actually just ran away someplace and Leonard is making me look for him.” Kirk cocked his head slightly with a smile plastered in his face as you rambled on. “Which reminds me that we should probably get going now because they’ll be sending people down here soon.”

Kirk stood up first and lent a hand to you and helped you up. You both then turned to the soaked man and helped him to his feet. Kirk led the way across the engineering deck as you and Scotty followed closely. Once we went up a particular stairway, we were met by officers.

“Halt,” one said.

You all turned around to go in another direction, but were met with another officer who said, “come with me, cupcake!” You recognized him from the name he called Kirk as the officer from the bar a few years back.

They forcefully grabbed the two men you were with. One approached you, but you immediately took a step back as you raised a hand, “I can walk myself perfectly fine, thank you.” He gave you a curt nod and motioned his hand for you walk ahead and follow the others who were dragging Kirk and Scotty.

Tag List:

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[green-blooded]

So, I want to talk about Bread and Circuses. Or, I want to talk about Spock and McCoy in Bread and Circuses... plus the rest of the first half of the second season, because this episode isn’t actually good aside from the Spock and McCoy moments.

We start with this:

SPOCK: Fascinating. This atmosphere is remarkably similar to your twentieth century. Moderately industrialized pollution containing substantial amounts of carbon monoxide and partially consumed hydrocarbons. MCCOY: The word was smog. SPOCK: Yes, I believe that was the term. I had no idea you were that much of a historian, Doctor. MCCOY: I am not, Mister Spock. I was simply trying to stop you from giving us a whole lecture on the subject. Jim, is there anything at all we know about this planet?

(This post got long--nearly 4000 words???--so here’s a cut to save your dashboard!)

Which is kind of an odd argument for them? McCoy gets on Spock for a lot of things, but not usually for talking too much. In fact, it’s usually the reverse. In Trouble with Tribbles (the previous episode by production order), they have this exchange:

MCCOY: Spock, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there's one thing that I have discovered. SPOCK: What is that, Doctor? MCCOY: I like them better than I like you. SPOCK: Doctor? MCCOY: Yes? SPOCK: They do have one redeeming characteristic. MCCOY: What's that? SPOCK: They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir.

Far be it from me to accuse Star Trek of having continuity, but don’t these arguments seem related? In fact, both of these episodes have had particularly heated arguments between Spock and McCoy for no apparent reason in the plot. There are also a few heated exchanges in The Deadly Years (about Spock’s health, and then Kirk’s dementia).

Put a pin in this. Let’s return to Bread and Circuses.

MCCOY: Odd that these people should worship the sun. SPOCK: Why, Doctor? MCCOY: Because, my dear Mister Spock, it is illogical. Rome had no sun worshipers. Why should they parallel Rome in every way except one?

Let’s just ignore the fact that yes Rome did have sun worshipers and that there have been a hell of a lot more than one discrepancy, because if we talk about inaccuracies we’ll be here all day. The point is, they’re both postulating about this odd ‘parallel’ Earth, but McCoy’s interjection seems to annoy Spock for some reason... To the point that he brings it up again later, but in the meantime, they also have this exchange:

SPOCK: Even more fascinating. Slavery evolving into an institution with guaranteed medical payments, old-age pensions. MCCOY: Quite logical, I'd say, Mister Spock. Just as it's logical that twentieth-century Rome would use television to show its gladiator contests or name a new car the Jupiter Eight. SPOCK: Doctor, if I were able to show emotion, your new infatuation with that term would begin to annoy me. MCCOY: What term? Logic? Medical men are trained in logic, Mister Spock. SPOCK: Really, Doctor, I had no idea they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.

Hey guys, remember an episode called Amok Time (only 9 episodes earlier in production order instead of a whole season apart), where McCoy said this:

MCCOY: My orders were to give you a thorough physical. In case you hadn't noticed, I have to answer to the same commanding officer that you do. Come on, Spock. Yield to the logic of the situation.

And it, y'know, worked to convince Spock to listen to him that time. BUT let's also look at I, Mudd where they have one of those curiously heated arguments again:

MCCOY: All right. There's something wrong about a man who never smiles, whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won't talk about his background. SPOCK: I see. MCCOY: Spock, I mean that it's odd for a non-Vulcan. The ears make all the difference. SPOCK: I find your argument strewn with gaping defects in logic. MCCOY: Maybe, but you can't evaluate a man by logic alone. Besides, he has avoided two appointments that I've made for his physical exam without reason. SPOCK: That's not at all surprising, Doctor. He's probably terrified of your beads and rattles.

(Notice, McCoy realizes he’s offended Spock and immediately tries to fix it, but Spock remains annoyed with him.)

A couple of things here. First, like in Trouble with Tribbles (the next episode), Spock seems actually offended by McCoy. This was almost entirely absent from the first season, and not particularly prevalent in the first few episodes of the second season. There was plenty of banter and teasing before, but Spock seems more sensitive to it in this middle section of the second season. Then, again, McCoy brings up logic. McCoy argues that logic can't be the only means to evaluate a person. Then, Spock insults McCoy's medical skills. AGAIN, this is a newer development that makes it into almost every episode in the middle of the second season, including I, Mudd, Trouble with Tribbles, and Bread and Circuses. All back-to-back episodes in production order! 

So we have some things repeating in their arguments over multiple episodes. McCoy's interpretation of logic, Spock being offended by McCoy's teasing/insults, and Spock insulting McCoy's skill as a doctor. PUT A PIN IN IT. Returning to Bread and Circuses again. 

MERIK: There's been no war here for over four hundred years, Jim. Could, let's say, your land of that same era make that same boast? I think you can see why they don't want to have their stability contaminated by dangerous ideas of other ways and other places. SPOCK: Interesting, and given a conservative empire, quite understandable. MCCOY: Are you out of your head? SPOCK: I said I understood it, Doctor. I find the checks and balances of this civilization quite illuminating. MCCOY: Next he'll be telling us he prefers it over Earth history. SPOCK: They do seem to have escaped the carnage of your first three world wars, Doctor. MCCOY: They have slavery, gladiatorial games, despotism. SPOCK: Situations quite familiar to the six million who died in your first world war, the eleven million who died in your second, the thirty seven million who died in your third. Shall I go on?

I think this is one of the better exchanges that speak to the themes of this episode, which they should’ve elaborated on but instead went the Jesus Saves route... Whatever. The important thing is that this is another example of their philosophical differences AND very similar to an argument they had in The Apple a few episodes ago.

SPOCK: In my view, a splendid example of reciprocity. MCCOY: It would take a computerized Vulcan mind such as yours to make that kind of a statement. SPOCK: Doctor, you insist on applying human standards to non-human cultures. I remind you that humans are only a tiny minority in this galaxy. MCCOY: There are certain absolutes, Mister Spock, and one of them is the right of humanoids to a free and unchained environment, the right to have conditions which permit growth. SPOCK: Another is their right to choose a system which seems to work for them. MCCOY: Jim, you're not just going to stand by and be blinded to what's going on here. These are humanoids, intelligent. They need to advance and grow. Don't you understand what my readings indicate? There's been no progress here in at least ten thousand years. This isn't life. It's stagnation. SPOCK: Doctor, these people are healthy and they are happy. What ever you choose to call it, this system works, despite your emotional reaction to it. MCCOY: It might work for you, Mister Spock, but it doesn't work for me. Humanoids living so they can service a hunk of tin.

It’s super interesting to me that Spock is using relativistic contract theory to judge these cultures while McCoy is just a straight up anarchist, let’s be real. He hates hierarchical structures and authority figures, and believes that they go against human nature. Which you might say is weird for a Starfleet officer, but he also yells at people above his rank constantly and gets really upset in episodes like The Doomsday Machine when Spock refuses to ignore rank. He’s in Starfleet because he wants to help people, but I can’t imagine him staying if his captain weren’t someone he totally trusts. I mean, you could forget that McCoy has any rank at all with the way he carries himself. Meanwhile, Spock is Very, Very strict in his understanding of hierarchy and rank.

This is one of those deep divisions between the two of them. Put a pin in it. Let’s move on to the gladiator fight.

SPOCK: Need any help, Doctor? MCCOY: Whatever gave you that idea? ACHILLES: Fight, you pointed-ear freak! MCCOY: You tell him, buster. Of all the completely ridiculous, illogical questions I ever heard in my life!

The fact that McCoy is not a fighter is really brought out in this episode, and I have a lot to say about it in another post. The main thing here is McCoy bringing up logic again and agreeing with an argument that is, in my opinon, a step beyond something that McCoy would actually say. He makes fun of the ears, but freak is a little far, I think.

And all of this leads to the Big Scene in the prison, which I will break into parts. Part #1:

MCCOY: Angry, Mister Spock, or frustrated, perhaps? SPOCK: Such emotions are foreign to me, Doctor. I'm merely testing the strength of the door. MCCOY: For the fifteenth time...

McCoy is lightly teasing Spock for being more emotional than he lets on, while Spock denies having any emotion at all... this is a pretty typical part of the exchange. What really makes it work is Deforest Kelly's delivery. He says these lines with a degree of affection. He's not yelling, and he's not even using the tone he usually has when teasing Spock. In this moment, you can see that McCoy points out Spock's incongruous moments of emotion because he likes that about him. While it sometimes comes across as a 'gotcha' moment (like at the end of The Galileo Seven), the sheer number of times McCoy mentions Spock's emotions shows more than just a passing amount of interest in them.

Then, McCoy continues:

MCCOY: Spock, I know we've had our disagreements. Maybe they're jokes. I don't know. As Jim says, we're not often sure ourselves sometimes, but what I'm trying to say is-- SPOCK: Doctor, I am seeking a means of escape. Will you please be brief? MCCOY: Well, what I'm trying to say is you saved my life in the arena. SPOCK: Yes, that's quite true. MCCOY: I'm trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin!

Before I talk about this, I need to take a moment. I think that McCoy often gets painted at someone with his heart on his sleeve, who feels a lot and expresses all of his feelings. And it's just not true! He's very expressive when it comes to some things, sure. He can yell all day about how much he cares about people in general, but when it comes to expressing how much he cares about an individual? It's pretty damn rare. Look at his words AND his body language in Balance of Terror when he has a vulnerable moment with Kirk.

KIRK: I look around that Bridge, and I see the men waiting for me to make the next move. And Bones, what if I'm wrong? MCCOY: Captain, I-- KIRK: No, I don't really expect an answer. MCCOY: But I've got one. Something I seldom say to a customer, Jim. In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don't destroy the one named Kirk.

McCoy himself says here that he doesn't usually say this kind of thing, and if you look at the series, that bears out. He does NOT find it easy to tell people he cares about them, and when he does, he does it in this abstract way, barely able to make any eye contact. This is AGAIN why the conflict between Spock and McCoy is NOT logic vs. emotion. McCoy is not fully emotional, and he doesn't find emotion easy to express. I would argue that he has almost as much difficulty expressing his feelings for another person as Spock does. I would also argue that McCoy does not LIKE this about himself, and that is part of why it frustrates him so much when he sees it in Spock. 

 So, when he tries to be vulnerable and thank Spock, first of all, he doesn't just say "Hey, thanks for saving me in the arena." He starts with a lot of waffle, and when Spock interrupts him and insists that he keep it short (again, callback to the arguments in this episode and Trouble with Tribbles about which one of them talks too much), McCoy tries to simply thank him, but gets upset when Spock is still impassive and reverts to his usual way of talking to Spock. One remark from Spock, and McCoy loses his ability to be vulnerable and resorts to a sharp tone and insults. Leading into part three of this conversation: 

SPOCK: Oh, yes. You humans have that emotional need to express gratitude. You're welcome, I believe, is the correct response. However, Doctor, you must remember I am entirely motivated by logic. The loss of our ship's surgeon, whatever I think of his skill, would mean a reduction in the efficiency of the Enterprise and therefore-- MCCOY: Do you know why you're not afraid to die, Spock? You're more afraid of living. Each day you stay alive is just one more day you might slip and let your human half peek out. That's it, isn't it? Insecurity. Why, you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling. SPOCK: Really, Doctor? MCCOY: I know. I'm worried about Jim, too.

The last bit is powerful, and I think generally something people remember more than the rest of the conversation, but I really need to focus on that first exchange first, because there is a LOT going on, and I've been pinning things through this whole overly long post for this moment.

PIN 1: Their arguments have become more heated in the middle portion of season 2.

This is a very clear example of that. McCoy doesn't drop the issue after the insult and Spock insists he wouldn't have saved McCoy if he weren't logically useful to the ship. Ouch.

PIN 2: The repetition in these heated arguments. McCoy's view of logic, Spock getting offended, Spock insulting McCoy's skill as a doctor.

What Spock says here brings up all three of those issues. Spock has been frustrated by McCoy bringing up logic throughout this episode, and now he's shooting back at him with a logical view of why he saved McCoy's life--while still maintaining that he doesn't think McCoy is a good doctor. McCoy's been using logic against him, and now Spock is returning the favor. Spock understands Human interaction better than this! Something as simple as a "thank you" and "your welcome" is everyday for him, not only on the Enterprise but with one of the people who RAISED him. He is exaggerating his own non-Human qualities throughout this conversation to a truly absurd extent, because McCoy has repeatedly offended him for several episodes. However, McCoy seems unaware that his usual teasing has actually gotten under Spock's skin, because he has been surprised, again and again (especially in I, Mudd where he chases after Spock to apologize to him) when Spock actually acts hurt by him.

And then there's McCoy's response.

It's not "damn your Vulcan logic" or ending the conversation. He grabs Spock and forces him to look at him--which Spock has been avoiding throughout the conversation--and tells Spock that he's so afraid to be human that he doesn't fear death, because that would put an end to the fear that his Human side would show.

IF WE ARE ONLY LOOKING AT THIS ONE EPISODE, this doesn't make sense. This didn't build from the conversations in Bread and Circuses, which is why I keep bringing up several different episodes and why I'm insisting on production order.

PIN 3: These two have deep, deep philosophical differences that they are constantly discussing.

As I said in another post, Spock and McCoy have a different standard for morality which causes the two of them to butt heads a whole lot. In the first season, it was pretty much the same argument over and over again (should we risk a larger number of people to save a smaller number of people), but it's been evolving in this season to the discussion of freedom and cultural differences and more.

If these two men did not have any respect for one another, I don't think these arguments would continue. Yes, they work together, but they don't actually need to interact as much as they do, and they are VERY often seeing walking into a scene on the bridge together or walking down a corridor together, etc. It's not just missions. They choose to spend time together.

So, when Spock says he only saved McCoy because he's useful as the ship's surgeon, McCoy doesn't respond to THAT, because 1) he knows he's a good doctor and never seems fazed by Spock insulting him about that and 2) he knows Spock is not being honest with him here.

This is one of the reasons why I think McCoy gets frustrated with Spock because they have a similar difficulty showing how much they care about other people, and they have an especially difficult time showing affection toward one another.

While the ending of Operation: Annihilate! where McCoy tells Kirk not to tell Spock he called him the best first officer in the fleet is memorable, it's hardly the most vulnerable moment for McCoy in that episode. No, it's when he thinks he's blinded Spock because he didn't consider using the non-visible parts of the light spectrum to kill the parasitic aliens. McCoy can't even say for himself the deep guilt he's feeling about harming Spock--he never says that he's blaming himself. It's Kirk who tells him he's not at fault, and McCoy can't even bring himself to respond. If you look at those last lines about Spock being the best first officer in the fleet in context of how devastated McCoy was when he thought he'd blinded Spock permanently, it definitely hits different, right?

And then there are the times in the first season when Spock believes McCoy is badly hurt or dead. In Miri, Shore Leave, and City on the Edge of Forever, Spock has a strong reaction to seeing McCoy injured, but he does not verbalize this obvious emotional reaction at any time.

They don't know how to say that they care about each other, because that's something they both struggle with in general. They also both struggle with being emotionally vulnerable and allowing other people to know them on a deeper level. Spock uses his Vulcan otherness to keep people at a distance, while McCoy uses a the charm offensive of his "bedside manner" as his defense system.

So, McCoy says this thing about Spock not being afraid to die because he's so terrified of his Human side coming out IN DIRECT RESPONSE to Spock being unable to even look at him when McCoy is not only trying to thank him for saving his life but ALSO putting it into the context of how difficult their friendship is and how rarely they show any straight-forward affection for each other. And the most telling thing is, McCoy didn't seem to know for sure that he was right until he sees Spock’s reaction. Look at his expression when Spock turns away from him.

And look at his intensity when he says that Spock wouldn't know what to do with a "genuine warm, decent feeling."

When Spock turns to him and says "Really, Doctor?"

THAT is when McCoy is the one who breaks eye contact and changes the subject to someone that they both feel affection for, but who isn't in the room to hear it. I understand that there are other readings of this moment, and that's fine, but... I don't think this has to do with Kirk specifically. For one thing, it never comes up in the episode when they are reunited with Kirk, and for another Kirk is in the least danger out of the three of them. Instead, this moment is about how both of them struggle so deeply with showing affection when someone's right there in front of them.

By the end of the episode, we can see the two of them spending time together again, apparently by choice, and seeming very comfortable with each other... and the next episode is Journey to Babel, in which they are very friendly again with The Immunity Syndrome only four episodes after that, and the episodes in between showing them with much less contentious banter again.

Dare I say it, but I think this is a legitimate arc! And it's a shame that most people see the episodes in broadcast order, because it makes their relationship much more incoherent and makes this little escalation of frustration with each other more random and may make it seem like they genuinely dislike each other.

Anyway... this was. Not supposed to be such a long post, but I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about these two, and I can't help myself sometimes.