#spn gods who eat souls

[shallowseeker]

Gosh, Chuck really set up Amara to trust Dean and then lose hope, didn't he?

What a cosmic dick!

The truth is: Amara's love was an immature love, a love of childhood, and even a little like Harper Sayles. In her own way, she's struggling with the Idealization of Apple Pie and the Romanticized Notion of the White Picket Fence.

In season 8, when Dean was reeling from total 24/7-360-degree war and the uncomfortable grayness of real-world civilian life, he too became fixated on an unobtainable concept of love (and people) as something that will never let you down.

In season 15, we find Amara dressed in vibrant hues and exploring life. And it's lovely that Amara has gained so much wisdom in her time spent individuating.

She encourages Chuck to see meaning in his creation. She lectures Dean about how "now is always better than then." She laments the loss of the opportunity to get to know Jack.

However, she's not integrated in terms of how she conceptualizes love, and in particular, she speaks of Dean in always-or-never statements.

AMARA: Like I told you when we first met, you and I will always help each other.

On accepting the wholeness of life, we can turn to Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, who wrote in her deeply insightful book When Things Fall Apart:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

Amara is a long, long way from the disillusionment necessary to truly see another person as a complex individual. She's a long way from the mature disillusionment-and-choosing of real relationships.

In season 15, it's even more of a contrast than usual, as it's flanked by the disagreement-and-repair spousal dynamic that characterizes Dean-and-Cas. Dean became disillusioned with Cas as early as season 4, when Cas and Uriel attacked Anna and especially so in season 6 during the Angelic Civil War. Cas became disillusioned with Dean as early as Dean giving in to Michael in season 5.

///

Chuck eases Amara into thinking that her love connection is real, in exactly the way she had conceptualized it:

CHUCK: The Winchesters have gotten to you, huh? Figures-- you and Dean have that whole weird... thing. AMARA (an awed, wondering smile): That wasn't you? Writing? CHUCK: Ugh! Not that part. Gross. Amara gives another, privately pleased little smile.

Then, once the plan he knows is brewing springs into action, he in turn snaps his jaws shut on her. He'd been grooming her for hopelessness and slaughter all along. And so, he consumes her.

AMARA: No, but... but Dean can't hurt me. CHUCK: No, but he can lie to you. He could send you into the meat grinder with a wink and a smile.

He capitalizes on and then leverages her naivete to cannibalize her. He cuts off her development in order to use her as fuel. "She's in here somewhere," is so ominous. It calls to mind how Amara talked about the beings she devoured, not an egalitarian shared mind-space of equals.

CHUCK: Look, I get it. You wanted him to care about you, but humans... they'll break your heart every time.

Chuck thrives on hopelessness.

[shallowrambles]

Some interesting, malformed, shapeless thoughts:

DEAN (About Jess): Now, I don't know what it feels like to lose someone like that.

KAREN (about Bobby): Oh…I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say, you’ve never been in love.

Paired with Amara:

In O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Amara looks slightly confused before she kisses Dean

In Hell's Angel, Amara seems intensely perplexed as Dean shouts for Cas

In All in the Family, the same look of confusion comes over her as she hovers over Cas's chest and uses it for symbolic wayfinding: straight to Dean THE HEART OF THE MATTER

Earlier in the season, in The Devil in the Details, she carved a message into Cas's chest...for Dean to read

AMARA: Blue eyes, you’re not even worth the effort... and no offence, but you look a bit used up. Plus, I have a job for you. Amara puts her hand on Castiel’s chest and Castiel screams as he is sent away in a blinding flash of light.

It's played as a joke, because for one, it's genuinely funny, but for two, the fact remains that she carved a threat to Dean on Cas's chest: I am coming

Twice, she uses Cas's heart to deliver threats directly to Dean

But the fact remains: Amara's never been in romantic love before.

She can't recognize it for what it is between Dean and Cas. She knows it well enough to use it, but mostly it fills her with writhing confusion.

But she does notice it and wonderingly ponder over it. Like season 10's Dean, she's dealing with the wounds of her nursery in order to become able to engage in that kind of self-actualization. She's also a little like all those girls craving attention in season 10, from Claire to the girl who is murdered trying to capture the attention of an older, unsavory man just to plug the familial lack of support at home. It's about throwing yourself into any distraction just to ease that absence of familial self-worth and security:

MR. McKINLEY: By suggesting my daughter was a slut? DEAN: I'll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home. MR. McKINLEY: You shut your face right now. DEAN: And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her. (Dean looks at Mr. McKinley and in a very calm voice says) Joe, who did this?

It's about the core wounds of the nursery, her brother leaving her. It's like Claire needed a loving parent, not Randy or Salinger. It's like Rose needed loving parents, not Reggie, who would murder her.

Amara's a little like Hannah, too, as Caroline cries out for her husband Joe:

HANNAH: Being on earth, working with you, I've felt things. Human things -- passions, hungers. To shower, feel water on my skin... to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him. Her husband -- his anger and his grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These f-feelings, they aren't for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it's time to step aside.

Amara isn't very good at parsing emotions. Retroactively, we know she brought back Mary to extinguish Dean's volatile "fire" and to quell his inner turmoil. She's trying to assuage the core wound of his nursery, too.

[ananke-xiii]

Form and Void... Hands and Hearts.

Intro.

Sam, Billie and the Poor Guy.

Form as Void and Void as Form is personified in Amara. Amara is The Darkness and she's empty, hungry and asks to be fed. But she's also got a very specific form and it's changing and growing very rapidly.

But this is also the episode where The Empty is mentioned for the first time and Sam asks God (who's absent) for help. I think it was a compelling triangulation that this episode suggested but it didn't really go anywhere. I mean, technically the themes kept theming (lol) because Dean got paired with Amara, Sam (very briefly) with God and Cas (eventually) with The Empty. However, to be fair, it's a feeble connection, a mere parallel that eventually doesn't really go that far in terms of meaning. It makes for a nice signifier, though.

Speaking of signifiers, I like the fact that in this ep Sam's the one asking people "What's your name?" and people don't immediately reply to him. He's looking for meaning and he's finding none. I also like how Billie, initially, was more of a threat to Sam, she's got beef with both brothers but in this episode she's very much focused on Sam as she's sensing that he's dying. I would have liked to see more but, as we know, Billie will later kinda of obsess a little over Dean so, once again, goodbye Sam's storyline.

Speaking of Sam, since Cain has been invoked in this episode and since he's starting to hear voices in his head we know that he's being paralleled to SPN's Abel and Abel's pov is completely missing in SPN. I personally would have loved it if s11 were a bit more Sam-focused but after mid-season s11 is definitely more about Dean, so... I think this was one of the season's flaws.

Sam's also super scary in this episode. He goes to a hardware store to grab tools to basically hunt people. He electrocutes a guy and he does it using both hands and going for his heart. He then proceeds to abduct him, chain him and handcuff him. I find it funny when people like to portray Sam as rational and well-adjusted cause, and I mean it lovingly (lol), Sam's fucking insane. I mean, yes, he wants to help people and these people have been infected but I love the fact that the first thing he does is to create a trap as if they were mice and then save them (well, apart from the electrocuted guy who dies after his pudding). It plays very well into the subversion theme of the episode: hunting people to save people.

Poor Guy handcuffed by Sam is very tender, he doesn't even ask to be freed: he wants something REAL, something to hold in his hands. Look at that gesture! I feel so sorry for him. He's the episode's established prey. I wonder who are the others (spoiler: Cas and Amara)?

Poor Guy asks for a pudding and tells Sam he's just taking his "sweet time" while he should "eat a bullet". Food here is very much related to death and, right on time, Billie the Reaper enters the stage.

Bille's first appearance is via her hand's shadow while she's singing this song:

O death, o death, o death won't you spare me over another year? Oh, what is this that I can't see with ice-cold hands taking hold of me? When God is gone and the devil takes hold who'll have mercy on your soul?

And then we get this beautiful shot (this is the shadow of Billie's right hand taking the guy left's hand):

Poor Guy wants to hold something in his hands while Death, with her ice-cold hands, is taking hold of people. Oh, poor guy, Poor Guy!

Sam is then handed a recycled version of s9 Dean's praying in the chapel but nobody comes for him (it's maybe for the better lol). He literally needs to save himself using Billie's suggestion (I love Bille, she's such an ambiguous character, she claims she wants him dead and then she helps him, same happens for Dean, I swear I wanted to know more about her):

So . . . I know it's been a long time, but . . . Dean and I, we've -- we've been through a lot of bad. But this is different. This is my fault, and I don't know how to fix it. And if I have to die, I've made my peace with that, but . . . Please. Dean deserves better. Dean deserves a life. There are people out there, good people, who are going to suffer because of me, and I am not asking you to clean up my mess. Hell, I don't even know if you're out there, but . . . If you are . . . And if you can hear me, I, um . . . We need your help, God. We need to know there's hope. We need a sign.

As I've stated before, Sam is asking for names which is a way to anchor reality by defining it in order to be able to keep on living. In other words, to find a sign that gives meaning to what's happening. But nobody replied when he asked for people's names and God won't reply either.

So what do we know about Sam? He's the hunter hunting for preys to save. He's devoid of meaning and nobody is willing to give it to him. He needs to give himself meaning. His form is decaying since he's dying. He's also becoming Abel and this is NOT a good sign because it means that he'll become Lucifer's prey. Sam's very much Amara's opposite: while she's growing, he's dying; he's asking for help and meaning but nobody is there to help him while Amara asks to be fed and she finds people (Jenna, Crowley) who are willing to provide for her. However, they have one thing in common: they both know one thing or two about cages.

We Need To Talk About Cas.

While Sam asked for a sign, Cas asked for help. However, he got something. What, you ask? A hand-me-down from S9, just like Sam and the chapel scene (LOL). Cas, like Dean in s9, desperately and stupidly asks ANGELS for help. Of course angels always come when they hear prayers to them, it's just that they usually come to scam people and so Cas gets scammed.

Angels are on a hunt to find the Winchesters and they're using Cas as a smear of blood on their trail. He gets abducted, restrained and handcuffed just like Poor Guy:

Castiel hanging like red meat.

Cas, again desperately and stupidly, asks for mercy in the name of brotherhood to which Ephram the angel is like: sir, this is a Wendy Heaven.

CASTIEL: Mercy, brother, please! EFRAM: Brother? Ha! What are you? CASTIEL: W-what? I'm an angel of the Lord. EFRAM: That so? 'Cause, near as I can tell, when you have to choose between heaven and the Winchesters . . . JONAH: You choose them. EFRAM: Every time. So, see, you're not my brother. And if I had it my way, I'd take this blade, stick it in your heart . . . and call that a damn good day.

Angels are very interested is some of Castiel's parts.

I think this is an important image. We know Castiel's got too much heart etc. so methinks it's suspish that angels are so concerned with Cas' heart... why do they wanna stick their blade in there? (this sounds awful but I'm proud of it LOL), what's inside these damn hearts of these damn characters that we can't know?! Sometimes storytelling must be bold and Supernatural, when it comes to the heart, rarely is. It's a real shame.

Anyway, here comes Hanna: they act like Gadreel coming to Dean when called to save Sam but they're the wolf in disguise. Hannah is Gadreel is the preacher/hunter from "The Night of the Hunter" is... Crowley.

Yes, look at these following shots:

Crowley putting lots of sugar in his tea with his right hand:

Crowley puts sugar in his tea. It's a shocking news for me.

Hannah single-handedly (with their right hand) freeing Cas from the ropes.

Now we've see how the right hand is NOT the hand of love so we know now that Hannah, just like Crowley, is pretending, they're not there to help, they're on a hunt.

As per usual, Cas kills all of his "brothers" and saves himself just like Sam. Nobody's there for these characters (Big Sad Face).

So how is Cas compared to "Form and Void" Amara? Well, in his case things are a little different. Amara is referred to as "a little angel" by Jenna's grandma while Crowley refers to Cas as "the idiot angel". Cas himself states that he is angel in front of his brothers.

Plot twist: Amara's got the devil inside ("The devil's in that girl!").

Soulless Jenna smashes angels' statues + that thingy that resembles a lot Poor Guy's open hands.

Plot twist 2! If both Amara and Cas are "angels" and now Amara's got the "devil inside" does that mean...? Yeah it does. Dabb literally told us Cas will be Lucifer's vessel in this episode and I hate it that he was so clever and smooth about it. Grrrr. It's such goood storytelling why is he writing it? Lol. Lucifer bearing the key to Amara's cage, Cas ending up in Lucifer's cage and setting him free... Is, perhaps, one might humbly asks, Castiel the key to someone connected with Amara? The Lucifer/Amara/Castiel of it all is absolutely beautiful. I L-O-V-E it.

The final blow. Sam and Dean are back to the bunker, we see the pile of books from S10's ending and the light illuminates just parts of a book's title.

I need to know the bunker's novels section.

The screenshot, as per my usual, is shitty but the very last book on the pile reads "Sec.....of the Heart" by Cynthia F..."

And then, boom, we find Cas on the other side of the pile. I told you that there is a secret in this episode and the secret is that between Form and Void there's something and this something is the heart of...? Of course we know it's Dean's.

[chuckwon]

Concept: Jack Kline was turned into an Ostium

And looking at how the Ostium was used in the season finale further underscores what will be needed in the future for the story to move forward, and for Jack and his family to heal.

Let's go through it:

LATA: Our box has a name. They call it the Ostium.

CARLOS: Oh. Latin for "an opening in the body." What, didn't any of you guys ever go to Sunday School? ...So is that thing organic? Is it a mouth or... [chuckles] any other kind of hole?

LATA: Let's just stick with a mouth, please.

ADA: So this box eats monsters?

–SPNWIN 1x07, "Reflections"

–––

ADAM: It's one of my ribs, dude. Everything can contain the spark of the divine, but this puppy? It's packing enough punch to create life. Or, in your case, destroy God.

SERAFINA: Jack, making your vessel strong, reclaiming your human soul, it was... it was all preparing you for this.

JACK: What'll it do to me?

ADAM: Start an elemental chain reaction. It fuses your soul and your grace into a... Like a...

SERAFINA: Metaphysical supernova.

DEAN: Meaning what?

ADAM: You'll collapse into a living black hole for divine energy. One nothing can escape—not the darkness, not God himself. But once it starts... you can't stop it. So, don't use 'til game time. You dig?

–SPN 15x17, "Unity"

–––

Dean: All that prep work we did to turn Jack here into a cosmic bomb? Oh. Well, it turned him into sort of a power vacuum. He's been sucking up bits of power all over the place.

–SPN 15x19, "Inherit the Earth"

–––

"A living black hole for divine energy" / "a power vacuum" is akin to how the Ostium functions. (And remember that Chuck orchestrated this outcome.)

The final step of Jack's transformation in 15x17 and the way the Ostium is activated are also similar:

Adam's rib, containing extra "spark of the divine," was placed in Jack's palm and he absorbed its power. After his initial explosion outward, Jack was then turned into a vessel that acted as a vacuum for divine power.

When an item was placed on the Ostium–like a rock from the Akrida's world–it absorbed the item, which determines what powerful beings the box "eats" and where it sends those beings when activated.

Both Jack and the Ostium were also wielded as weapons.

Which, of course, this show condemns explicitly:

LATA: So you had a friend stuck in a cycle of violence, and instead of helping him, you wielded him like some kind of weapon?

–SPNWIN 1x06, "Art of Dying"

And, with Joan / the Akrida Queen, we saw what happened to a hunter who absorbed monster essence: she became corrupted.

JOAN: What I decided was that the monsters weren't the problem, kid. Mankind is the problem. They always need saving. And Hunters are the ones who end up paying the price with our lives. And then what do these rescued humans do with their precious second chance at life? They waste it… kill each other, beat each other down, destroy our planet. Monsters have it right. Humans are nothing more than food.

LATA: Is that you talking? Or is it the monster essence that's powering you?

MARY: The monster essence drove her mad. She became so obsessed with making sure that Hunters were protected, and she believed the only way to do that was to wipe out everyone who needed saving.

–SPNWIN 1x13, "Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye"

(Joan is also a dark mirror for Dean, but that's a separate meta topic entirely.)

With how Jack is acting in 15x19 and the SPNWIN finale (and as part of Chuck Won as a concept), something seems to be wrong with him along those lines.

So in regards to the Ostium, what was the solution the team used in the season finale? What did they need to defeat the Akrida Queen?

ADA: The Queen is about to sing her swan song. We can't rewind this tape here.

CARLOS: Wait. What if we could rewind the tape? Metaphysically speaking, if you know what I mean.

–SPNWIN 1x13, "Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye"

–––

CARLOS: Well, whatever you feed it creates a portal connected to that object. So we fed it the rock, and it was able to shoot the Akrida back to their world.

MILLIE: So, if we feed it the journal and trace the sigils in reverse, the Ostium can bring here whatever was tied to the journal... the Mystery Man, if he's even alive.

–SPNWIN 1x13, "Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye"

They reversed the polarity of the Ostium to try to summon Dean, which required using the journal–something “personal” and “clearly connected” to him, as Mary said at one point.

Now, of course, the result when they used it on the Ostium was that it gave the team the Impala rather than Dean for plot reasons. However, the point holds: Dean's journal was the key to metaphysically rewinding the tape and getting the Ostium to release / return what it had absorbed.

That journal was filled with Dean's thoughts, which we got throughout the show in the form of the story he's telling / narrating. They're the healing lessons repeatedly demonstrated by the 1972 gang that Dean has to use in his own life to free himself from the trap he's in, break the cycle of violence, and get his own happy ending.

So, follow the through-line:

The Ostium and Jack are seemingly similar. Just like Dean's journal was used to reverse the Ostium and get it to release/return what it absorbed... The lessons inside of Dean's journal are what’s needed to reverse the polarity of Jack’s transformation, getting Jack to release the God power he absorbed too.

And what are those lessons in Dean's journal? Ah, well, that's what The Winchesters (the story Dean is telling) is dedicated to showing and telling us. That's the function of the entire show.

To highlight a few mirroring moments relevant to the topic at hand:

TONY: You're scared of your own son?

ADA: I'm not scared of you. I... you are my son, and I love you.

TONY: If you love me, you would've told me the truth.

[...]

ADA: I... was wrong to lie to you about who you are, and I was even more wrong for not believing in you. I know you're not your father. You're not the worst parts of him. You're not the worst parts of me. You're just... you're my... You're Tony.

–SPNWIN 1x05, "Legend of a Mind"

----

MAC (possessing John): Why did you give up on me?

TRACY: I didn't know how to help you. I was scared.

MAC: I was scared too. I needed my family by my side.

TRACY: I know it's about ten years too late... but I'm here now, and I am so sorry.

LATA: It's not too late, Mac. You can still break the cycle.

–SPNWIN 1x06, "Art of Dying"

–––

MARY: Because I still want to get out of hunting. I really do. But it's not gonna be at your expense.

–SPNWIN 1x06, "Art of Dying"

–––

Mutual honesty, apologies, and forgiveness between Dean and Jack are the vital place where they must start. After all... Jack went through with his transformation and later with the corrupting absorption of God power simply because he was desperately trying to earn Dean's forgiveness, something that was repeatedly emphasized throughout season 15. The cycle remained intact instead of broken, and that's why they lost.

So saying that they need to reverse the polarity... What does that mean? It means that their family needs to have emotional release for there to then be the cosmic release of God power, so that that power can be put back out into the universe and no longer have personhood.

Only then will they break the cycle of violence and be able to be free of Chuck's influence once and for all.

You don't need Jack and Ostium parallels to understand and know this about the story. But I do think it's neat, further enhances the overall themes, and once again supports the fact that a Chuck won plot / what happened to Jack was deliberately being centralized! :)

[shinelikethunder]

imagine a version of SPN s6 where soulless!Sam succeeds in killing Bobby, gets re-souled and spends a few episodes feeling terrible about it but mostly because he's afraid Dean will never forgive him, and then immediately eats enough radiation from Soul Chernobyl to depose Godstiel and usurp the throne of heaven

now consider original-flavor Godstiel, who is trying to fix the world with what amounts to a raging case of the If You People Would Onlies, a sheltered autistic teenager's understanding of what makes humans tick, a convert's zeal for the concept of free will with all the nuance of an undergrad who just got into Ayn Rand, several millennia of abstract knowledge of the world, and a reasonable command of his existing angel powers....... and replace him with a rambunctious golden retriever puppy with barely-controlled godlike powers and the emotional maturity & world knowledge of a six-year-old, who was parented by Winchesters and keeps getting people mortally injured in desperate bids for approval

now look me in the eye and tell me that Jack's s15 arc is anything but HILARIOUS and INSANE as a way to Fix Heaven and give the SPNverse a stable semi-optimistic ending. as opposed to a way to replace their Chuck problem with a brand-new, MUCH more exciting set of problems

("i guess if you stick to your plan to stay hands-off it might work, but how is that NOT a return to the eternal absent father-god in whose name all manner of atrocities, abuses of power, and ill-conceived bloodthirsty crusades can be justified?"

"because my vibes will be with you... always.")

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e15 gimme shelter (w. davy perez)

DEAN Well, right now, weak is all we have, okay, 'cause nobody's found anything. And without Amara, we're screwed. So, Atlantic City? All-you-can-eat prime rib, and possibly one all-powerful cosmic being. Come on, man, sounds like a roadtrip to me.

it sounds good to me but i've been striking out with this season in the fun department :p

cracking up at cas trying to get sam to back him up that taking jack on a murder investigation is a bad idea, but sam backs dean instead and dean is so pleased. and jack is just happy to be involved. reminds me of that scene in hannibal 2x10

(rocktheholygrail)

all right so we get cas and jack being awkward with local law enforcement, that's a combo.

JACK Like Sam always says, when in doubt, try social media. CASTIEL Oh, yeah. I did that once. There were so many cat photos, it was just... There were too many cats.

gasp

JACK It says I need a parent or guardian's permission to join. CASTIEL You have my permission. JACK Ah. I have his permission.

cheap but i'll take it, it was cute

ZACK No one's making deals. Like, at all. Uh, Rowena has a hard "people will end up where they belong" philosophy. It can be nice, less quotas. But, like, look at me, uh, a crossroads demon who can't bring in a deal? Like, what even am I? CASTIEL You're a deviant soul corrupted by Hell. ZACK Well, yeah, yes, but II mean more in, like, a work-life-balance sense.

look at this, throwing the bog standard demon a bone and having some personality, and the potential changes rowena would make

SAM That's not what I meant. We've been on the road for almost two days, and I get not wanting to talk about it, I do, but, you know, what we're planning on doing, killing Amara. DEAN Well, we're not pulling the trigger. SAM Sure, but we still have to find her. And then, if we find her, we have to lie to her. We got to set her up for her own death. DEAN Hey, man, Billie called us "Messengers of God's Destruction," okay? Did you think that was, what, gonna be easy? Bloodless? Mhmh. We knew there was gonna be a catch. Least this time it's not you or me.

okay. i'm not sure i'm following here. it's like they have some good feelings about amara and they're bummed about having to kill her. but aside from the whammy on dean, do they? like, she decided to not wipe out existence and no one had to kill themselves to take her out, and she brought mary back so maybe there's some feelings from that? anyway, don't really get this but ok. i'm also not convinced she actually has to die, but whatevs

JACK Well, I have more dads than most, and I always just feel like I'm letting all of them down.

a) cute cute b) oh, jack

spn s5e8 steve bacic as dr. sexy / s15e15 as pastor joe

thought this pastor joe guy looked familiar, apparently he was dr sexy in changing channels 5x08. and 3 episodes (as different characters) of the xfiles! oh okay i looked him up before lol, he was in the episode pusher as someone who was compelled to kill themselves by the baddie. didn't apparently deem it worth an hiky though

PASTOR You have kids? CASTIEL I, uh... It's complicated.

find it kind of interesting how jack talks about his dads straight up but when other people talk to said dads, they deflect to avoid saying they have a kid specifically. or maybe i just selectively remember the times they worm around the question

PASTOR It's kind of part of the job. My wife, she grew up in this church and loved it. They were a bit more hardcore back then. Chalked everything that happened up to God's will. Never seemed to realize that– CASTIEL God just doesn't care.

getting some laughs out of me. look at you, davy

sitting on the cold, wet car 😩

appreciate their commitment to filming in whatever weather, and at least in some shots showing them with the rained on/snowed in hair

so, based on that dun dun DUN type music, are they wary about the amara business just because she's you know, a juiced up god and presumably hard to kill? and not because they don't want to kill her?

SAM How'd you find us? AMARA I smelled you from two states over. You have a very distinctive musk. DEAN Thank you.

okayyy. that's something. he's pleased, for whatever reason

CASTIEL My name is, um well, my name's not important. I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. And then, of course, when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost. I didn't know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day, something changed, something amazing. I… I guess I found a family, and I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.

ha. after i just said they never tell outsiders that they do have a kid. here's cas, stepping up. i have no clue what the timeline would be on the, found a family thing. i have a terrible time keeping his plotlines straight

SAM The former Death, he told us you were the firstborn. AMARA Or he told you what you needed to hear.

they seem a little rattled about that, but they know billie hasn't always been right about everything in the past so it seems reasonable to not talk everything she says at face value? and presumably same for death 1.0

AMARA Chuck and I, we're twins. Creation and destruction, light and dark, balance. And when we split apart, all this was created. SAM The Big Bang? AMARA Eh.

huh. ok. how does that work with the alternate universes then? i feel like this is a very loosely thought out idea :p

this is very se7en :p if dude wakes up to thrash around....

DEAN No, no. No. Why did you bring her back? You said that you wanted to show me something, that you wanted to, uh to teach me something. I don't know if you were following along, but your little experiment, it came to a not-so-happy ending. My mom is dead. So what exactly did you want to show me? What was the point?

AMARA I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person, that the myth you'd held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life.

kind of shocked we're having this meaningful character moment and not plowing along with the plot. i... well. i'll be generous and attempt to believe that this was actually thought about when they brought mary back

DEAN And the second thing? AMARA I thought having her back would release you, put that fire out. Your anger. But I guess we both know I failed at that. DEAN You're damn right. Look at you. Just another cosmic dick rigging the game. You're just like your brother.

can't really argue with that, but they're making her out to be very nice this time around

AMARA It was a gift, Dean, not a trial. DEAN I'm not angry, Amara. I'm furious. To know that all my life, I've been nothing but a hamster in a wheel, stuck in a story. And you know whose fault that is? Chuck's. And it ain't just me. We're all trapped. Sam and Cas and Jack and even you. And you want to talk about the people that he's killing right now AMARA Stop. DEAN Why? He's not stopping. And you're doing nothing to stop it. Think he gives a rat's ass about you? Well, now who's living in a dreamworld?

this is all very convincing manipulation if he's just trying to maneuver her into a situation where she can be killed

PASTOR Whatever she needs, whatever it takes, I'll find a place where she can get help. I spent my life taking care of all these other people. Should've been taking care of her.

the subplot of the murdering pastor's daughter, all the meaningful looks between cas and jack. cas getting to come in and save the day, fingers, gut stab wounds

now cas and jack get to have a nighttime car chat about their feelings

JACK When we – When I kill Chuck and Amara, I'll die, too. CASTIEL What? JACK Billie's spells have been turning me into some kind of bomb, and when I go off, God and Amara will cease to exist. And... I won't survive. JACK Don't tell Sam and Dean. CASTIEL Oh, yeah? Why not? JACK They won't understand. But I know... This is the only way they'll ever forgive me.

of course! well, i can't say i'm surprised

CASTIEL No. I watched you die once, and I will not do it again. JACK It's not your choice.

true that

DEAN Wait. What's happening? Where are you going? CASTIEL Going to look for another way. I have to. DEAN What the hell are you talking about? CASTIEL Dean, in case something goes wrong and I don't make it back, there's something you and Sam need to know…

distressing way to leave the episode but ok. so that mean he's not keeping jack's secret? that's good

(wiki)

Alex Calvert posted a photo of the volunteer registration form Jack filled out at the Community Center

lol ok. that's a lot of exclamation points. and the marital statue made me laugh

didn't bitch my way through this ep, i'll take it

[italwayshadtobeyou]

@missjackil I'm putting this in a new thread, because it's sort of tangential to the original poll post, but I do think it's an interesting topic.

I'd argue that all of the 5 beings are at least a step down from cosmic entities, like Chuck. Lucifer's specific words ("only five beings in all of creation") don't include entities that never had to be created in the first place. They might not even include entities that were probably inevitable side effects of creation, rather than deliberately crafted by Chuck.

Given how wildly later seasons' worldbuilding diverges from earlier seasons,' it's hard to say if Amara counts or not. She didn't have to be created, but, prior to the Carver era, she... doesn't exist. If we're going by Kripke's canon, then maybe some of the pagan gods are immune to the Colt; if we're going by Carver's canon, then Amara is, and, probably, so is Death. However, since they may not qualify as part of creation, they don't count toward the 5 beings.

We know that archangels count, although we don't know if that means that each individual archangel gets a spot (which would account for 4 of the 5) on the list, if or archangels, as a category, get one spot. I'm going to assume the second, since I think it makes more sense in terms of worldbuilding.

Getting into real speculation: I think the horsemen (other than Death, who arguably isn't a part of creation) occupy the next slot. The only way that anyone even hints they can be killed is with Death's own scythe. Sam's powers would kill a demon, but they won't kill Famine.

Slot #3 and #4 probably go to denizens of Purgatory. According to Death, God created Purgatory because he was afraid that leviathans would eat "the whole petri dish." He could've just given the angels an order to smite any leviathans who got out of line, except that leviathans are, apparently, harder than angels to kill. Maybe they, or at least their king, are up there with archangels. Eve is another likely candidate, given that she's claimed millions of souls against the will of Heaven and Hell, without deals or consent.

#5? I don't think that early- and middle-SPN give us an answer, or even try to, but the Dabb era shows the Empty as formidable, evasive, and very old. If it's strong enough to absorb the energy of a bomb meant to kill God and the Darkness, then it's surely strong enough to absorb a bullet from the Colt.

My list:

#1: Archangels; #2: horsemen; #3: either Dick Roman or leviathans as a group; #4: Eve; #5: the Empty.

[shallowstories]

The story of the chicken and the black snake

NOTES FOR LATER:

1. Fun substitution stories: It bears a lot of similarities to the story of Zeus and the stone substitution. Zeus was supposed to be killed soas not to challenge ranking deity, who kept eating and damning any and all rival gods to his cosmic belly. Cosmic kings eat their rivals and their children in order to grow in power. The goal is to damn them to food, to becoming sources OF power, not challenges TO power.

///

2. Ineffective usurper God narratives: Cas tried to muster up "godly/creative" power by following the footsteps of cosmic paidophagy. By swallowing the Purgatorial souls and Leviathans, he became the black snake, and like all aggressive gods that try to entomb power by consuming others' children, he would arouse the mother's anger and fail.

The devilishly clever mother, knowing the usurper God is not efficiently boundless as she is, and is not strong enough Void, plants and incites a battle from within. This deception is typically wrought by enticing the predator to swallow poison (or a stone or a hardboiled egg), or by imbuing the children with secret strength to allow them to violently burst forth and overpower their father. So it was with Primordial Eve, hiding her her "bomb" from within, that would tear the inefficient God asunder.

Ergo, the Leviathans are the egg, Eve/Tiamat is the chicken, and Cas was the black snake in whose corpse the hidden children would feast upon. God overcome.

It's a cheeky reference to what Yahweh/or other culture hero god did to them, exploding and feasting upon the bodies of Leviathan as world nourishment to "create the world." Castiel's sundering is symbolically "Zeus as ineffective container" (or "Kronos as ineffective container"), bursting forth in an extremely violent reversal of Yahweh's original Leviathan victory. Cas can rouse chaos. But as "Heaven/Sky only," he cannot contain it.

This is because Cas is not a creator god, so in order to Wield Power of God, he must be facilitated by joining forces with Earth or other allies (Sam, Dean, Meg; later, Kelly Kline) in order to Complete the Circle. (When Cas turns his back on allies of Hell and Crowley, he effectively dooms himself.)

Cas "Heaven" cannot complete the circle "crown" alone. It is the Love and Healing, not War-making, that allows a more complete joining with his allies. (Image by LLA).

Interestingly, SPN 12x19 The Future (above GIF) is full of circle motifs because Jack is emerging into the Universe.

Jack, on the other hand, is much, much fuzzier in terms of his abilities. He's so strong that he embodies Both Modes (Earth AND Heaven, Human AND Angel). Jack is vast and boundless; Cas is not and never has been. That's why Jack is able to become God, but Cas is one-half-of-God/needing-allies, or else an ineffective solitary "culture hero" locked in eternal narrative of warfare without any real gains.

Castiel is more effective when he shares power/burdens and joins forces with his human family. (This manifests as, "support me and stand behind me 100%" VS "fight alongside me and don't be afraid to air your disagreements." It also manifests in the hiding of key details of the fights in order to "spare" them the burden of war's ugliness.)

Unfortunately, he tends to reach to share power with fellow angels on high, like Lucifer and Chuck, and that just leads to more of the same, ineffective "bright" wars. Ironically, it is his failing to share burdens (with his own rebel angels, Crowley, sometimes even Sam and Dean) that cause his most extreme losses.

Hell, Heaven, and Earth are most powerful when linked together; and they are weakest when ripped apart. Still, that isn't enough on its own, because they need to be linked together in peace, not isolation and aggression. (This is why Heaven, Earth, and Hell do not overcome Amara. Only choosing peace and reconciliation does. And yet, even that reconciliation is incomplete, because the light and the dark become too isolated from Heaven and Earth, cascading down into Lucifer's heartbreak and Dean's loss of Heaven in season 13's speech, "You said the earth would be fine, but it's not.")

///

3. Cas as culture hero: We see more power struggles at play in season 15 when Cas returns to Purgatory, where Leviathan corpses are again linked to blossoming of godly power, specifically the power to take down God (reference to the Classic Chaoskampf). Corpses of Leviathan are symbolic of Yawheh's (El's) original victory.

In Supernatural, the Leviathan were defeated/banished by the uniting of Cas and Dean against them. This is why their reconciliation is a key component of defeating God. United, perhaps they can take down God. It's why in 15x09 The Trap's deleted scene/alternate future/victory, they arrive marching in tandem, with the specter of the Double Diamond casino representing their combined pragmaticism. (However, as with all war, even when you WIN, you LOSE.)

Another interesting thing about Purgatory, though, is that Tiamat/Eve does not appear to be hunting down Dean. She's hunting down Cas, for "killing her Alphas and predatorially swallowing [her children]." Cas is characterized within the landscape as "Bright" and "Orderly," the eternal threat to her chaotic children.

Cas's characteristics of being Awake and bringing both Narrative and Meaning to The Empty also make him an eternal threat to the Cosmic Void, the Shadow. Cas imposes Limits/Order/Rebellion on the boundless forces, but he is independent enough to be flexible (unlike Death/Billie/Dean who swung too close to Order at the end of the series). These qualities liken Cas to Order and Disorder, "the spanner in the works," and he functions as The Great Escapist, which likens him more closely to the culture hero. (Which is why to so many astute viewers, Cas feels like not just A Main Character, but The Main Character.) In bringing Cas to such high highs (Superman, puppet God, angelic warrior) and such low lows (object of ridicule and scorn and emasculation), and such a wise middle of the road (renewed faith and values, finding strength IN weakness), they've accidentally transformed him to true protagonist.

Ergo with respect to Eve/Tiamat and The Empty/Void, Castiel IS the real cosmic culture hero. (Sam and Dean are culture heroes in their own right, but of Earth, so they can be heroes when aided by God/Heaven/"Equalizer" favors).

////

Jack is triparted God, the same as he represents Sam and Dean and Cas. He's also the egg and the chicken and the snake.

But when you try to be all things, as Dean tried to be all things (re: his conversation with Mary in season 12), you effectively became nothing. "It's not fair!"

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

@what-if-i-just-did

oh,,, oh Dear,,, hm. well the thing is that since the "unified canon" combined SPNWIN, CW Gotham Knights, and The Boys, TO NAME THE BARE MINIMUM.... it is absolutely batshit unhinged and so unlike spn that for a while I just told ppl I was writing an original book.

that being said, I can try to give you a condensed and somewhat-understable version.

first off, Sam and Dean aren't dead. Well, ok, Sam is dead, kind of, at least his body is. The Rebar(tm) was VERY much some magic fuckery, and "heaven" was an illusion, however Chuck (who did win btw) had no direct involvement

thing is. well, a couple things. first off, turns out fistfighting God does revoke your Human Being Privileges, and being a monster means you're probably weak to cold iron, stakes, and cold iron stakes through the back. Dean Winchester got staked by a vampire bc. lmao. however as spn lore has been very clear abt, shoving a rebar stake through a Creature(tm) can paralyze instead of kill, if the person doing it knows what they're doing.

and hoooo boi does Blurrywife know what she's doing.

yeah 2nd thing. we never officially meet the head of the vamp-mimes nest, bc Blurrywife was the head of the vamp-mimes nest (no she is NOT Eileen, but i think wbk on that one). She was waiting in the field outside the barn til one Winchester was out of commission so she could pick off the other

and then she did exactly that.

bit of a loredrop here (feel free to skip if you've seen Lost Girl or Ancient Magus' Bride bc u know this creature) "Blurrywife" is a type of being called a Leanan-Sidhe. she's from Irish folklore (specifically celtic-renaissance victoriana), but breaking her down into spn terms, she's a Faerie Vampire who feeds on stories. She uses succubus-style tactics, usually preys on artists, and acts somewhat like a parasitic/evil muse. her victims age extremely rapidly, and after death their souls are trapped in her service, playing out her favorite stories on loop.

tldr Narrative-Eating Vampire, Because Supernatural.

welcome to the Fae arc! everything since this has been Faerie-Realms Hot Nonsense with the fairly canon-predictable reveal of the Campbell lineage being Faetouched and the worrying addition of Rome Being Rome.

shit's going down in Hell, again. Chuck re-instated Lucifer, to which the Princes of Hell said "fuck this noise" and are currently rebelling. Lucifer, always one for making good decisions, has gone off to court Rome's affections (read: beg for help), LARP as Fae nobility, cause problems on Earth and wear a really stupid cape. ...and beget another antichrist on the wife of a VERY powerful folkloric figure and sort of "anti-fae", an action which definitely wont have devastating consequences when FCKING *BALOR, GENERAL OF THE FOMOIRE* finds out that Luci fucked his wife.

speaking of irish mythic women, Blurrywife and her thralls dragged Sam and Dean's bodies off to the Faerie realm while their souls haunted That Bridge for a while, stuck in the Leanan Sidhe Timeloop unless any of the new BBEGs needed them for something

Cas DID leave a ring full of his grace for Dean, which Dean had on him in 15x20. This ring allows Dean to time-travel, and regrettably the BBEGs know this. as the BBEGs are also using the Stake through Dean's heart to control him, this is very bad for everyone. Dean has now sliced/bit/firebreath'ed bloody swaths through humans & nonhumans alike across several decades, mutilated at least one god, and was at least semi-conscious for all of it. fuck!

Dean eventually Dean-ed his way out of any and all forms of control and was taken to rest/heal w Jack (who is now Jack O' The Lantern, Lord of Halloween- that was always his destiny and sneaking/breaking into Heaven was the last trial. he has his own domain/pocket afterlife. its very Jackcore in there) before SOMEHOW deciding that the 1970s were a good idea. They weren't, Dean changed exactly 0 timelines/futures but Jack did get captured when he followed Dean out, as did Bobby (who was also staying w Jack) and The Impala (who is a Fae, btw, always has been. she considers herself an older sister/cool aunt to Sam & Dean but lbr she raised them). God damn it Dean....

meanwhile on Cas' side of things: "The Empty" is literally just another name for tartarus, and Cas is not having a good time in the greco-roman underworld, in fact he's currently possessed by a roman god. Janus is awful, like if Casifer were a politician, war deity and also a fuckboi. icky. gross. none of Cas' Very Bad Time was made any better when, shortly pre-Janus, Dean's attempt to escape the aftermath of SPNWIN led to his body splattering against the marble floor of the greek underworld from a height of several thousand feet. Cas did in fact have to see this, and likely reclaimed his ring/at least his grace from Dean's body. there have been no more time shenanigans since then, at least.

Nobody wanted Blurrywife to ally with Rome but here we are. Apparently she's also kinda the goddess Victoria now?? i mean that association has precedent in folklore but, fuck.

where's Mars in all this? she ate Mars. I assume whatever is left is trapped somewhere. who cares he's a dick anyway.

in good news, Dean Jr, Sam's half-faerie son that he 100% does NOT realize wasn't just a dream, has followed in the Winchester tradition of Mommy Issues and Not Going Along With The Purpose You Were Created For, stabbing his mother through with her own blade after finding out that she 1) eats people, 2) made him from the life-force of a guy she ate, 3) made him as a weapon. Didn't kill her, but A for effort, DJ! No idea where he ran off to after that.

Dean ended up back in the Faerie realms and fell in w a Fae war goddess called Cathe (Celtiberian variant of Gaelic war goddess Nemain), who he apparently had a fling with pre-stanford era, thinking she was human???? Dean??? wtf???? (she's REALLY hot tho so i can't blame him-)

Sam's soul breaks containment and runs wild around the Fae realms for a bit before Cathe picks him up too, Adam is there and then dies and then is there and then dies, he's in Hell again (that poor fucking guy). various Princes of Hell show up and start shit, Azazel is back and may or may not be wearing John.

...yay.....

The Fomoire (also from celtic mythology) and Vuagh (scottish) are a thing, tldr two kinds of water demons, both hate each other and both suck, the Vuagh like to follow Lucifer around and kiss up to him, the Fomoire are w the Princes, that's basically all u need to know

s17 ends with a huge battle at Samhain that goes to absolute shit

the portals between the Faerie and Human realms are permanently wedged open, Cathe is in charge of the surviving Fae and immediately allies with both Lucifer and Rome (FUCK!!!!), Dean got exploded but is prolly just back in Hell, Sam and Jack are w Cathe, and Jack is (hopefully possessed and) doing Antichrist Things (oh yeah the Second Coming is happening, she seems rly nice tho), Cas is still possessed by a god, Bobby is being controlled by the FCKING Leanan-Sidhe, Baby is hiding if she's at all smart, and everything has generally gone to shit

here's higher hopes for s18???? it cant get any worse??? can it????

WHERE TF ARE EILEEN AND CHARLIE THEY SEEM BEST SUITED TO HANDLE THIS MESS

(there's a bunch of other episode-of-the-week type shit going on too, 2nd-generation special kids, Megstiel lovechild from like a decade ago, more Roman God Nonsense, etc, but this is the core plot. hope this made some sense. there's way too many shows shoved in here)

summarized season guide for anyone still here somehow:

s16: The BBEGs use Dean and Time Travel for deeply horrific purposes. General intro to Faerie stuff & some new characters, hints of the problems in Hell. ends w Dean breaking containment and going to live w Jack

s17: 1970s -> KNOCK KNOCK ITS ROME -> catch up w Cas & some new characters (+ a proper introduction to DJ!) -> Janus -> Sam breaks out/oh hey is that the Second Coming? -> ends w the Battle at Samhain

s18: just started!

tldr tldr: Chuck Won, Jack is a minor god, Sam and Dean were taken by The Fae. The Empty is Tartarus. due to those last two facts, and also bc Jensen somehow discovered this obscure-ass mythos for spnwin, shit's all Celtiberian (celtic + roman) now, and everything has spiraled rapidly out of control since.

“Supernatural season 16 keeps going!” My brother in Christ we are balls deep in at least season 18 by now

[wintrata]

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

pairing: dean winchester/castiel tags: spn 15x18 kinda-coda, angst, major character death, flash fic, 700wc (read on ao3)

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him.

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him. It’s been an hour and a half and I don’t think I’m getting up off of this floor, ‘cause he loves me. I never even got to say it back. Did You write my heartbreak, too?

Hallowed be thy name when he calls for You, even when You didn’t think to answer back, and that’s years, man, I watched him. I saw the fall. I’d say sorry for planting the seeds of doubt in Your good soldier’s heart but that was Your work as much as it was mine. You never even picked up the phone.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Does that please You? Is that sufficient? That my mama died flaming on burning plaster over my dad, and You wrote the pages to that book, was it enough? My baby tells me he loves me and has to leave, did You need more, still? Why would Thy Will need all this bleeding? Why would Thy Will mean the first of the sins was love? That all we’d ever do was get it wrong? I’m no saint, I know my day will come, and You’ve no room for me upstairs, I won’t fight that, but I love him, and I haven’t let him know yet.

Would You give us this day, and the day after that? Just a fraction of a fraction of a moment of his time, I’ll make him sandcastles and breakfast, and apologise some more. I don’t beg, You know that, You wrote that into my wirings. You know I’m telling the truth, but just give him back to me, I’ll not bite the hand that I eat from. I don’t trust myself to be deserving but for him You know I’d try. Just a day. For a day with my baby I’d penance with my life. Pay another forty years in the pit You heated, for the forty years I did it all wrong. Your measure of a lifetime in sulfur and sores for the one I'm living now, I haven't got much left anyway. I’ll make churches with my bare hands, if You bring him back, I would swim the deep, dig the grave back open, fit back into the box. Say You are love. Say You loved the world so much You gave Your only son. Say I'm desperate. Say I love him so much I don't even have to be here for it if it meant he'd wake in his bed and hold his son, I’m praying, man, can You hear? Can't You give him the chance I'm not gettin'? I can’t be all grief and handprints and running.

Do You take deals, God? I’ll put the drink down, I’ll stop the lies, give back our daily bread, our tender meat, the next headless corpse or frightful spirit, another go at my soul. Bring my sweetheart back.

And forgive us our trespasses, I promise not to make any more, do You hear me? It means You’ve won, it means I’m Cain, means I’m crawling on the dirt, I’m the murder. Means I'm whatever you need me to be. Means I’m scared. Means I’m afraid that if I were to lift my stone-wielding hand and ask my little brother to close his eyes, he would understand and turn his back to me. He knows I'm asking for my love back. He’d forgive me for this, just as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,

or at least deliver him to me. Or me to him. Or someone good to somebody who don't deserve 'em but loves 'em like nothing You've ever written in Your good Book. If You opened the door I would ask to be folded into the Empty just as he. I don't suppose I'm asking for too much. Heaven is a peace I'm not getting but long already made. If You can't lead him back to the phonebooth, can You at least let me slip into the dark?

Amen.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 256

Alpha and Omega

Because I forgot to download today’s spn episode and because it’s Destiel’s 15th anniversary (of when they met), we’re just doing one episode today…and definitely not because I want to start the One Piece anime……….

“Alpha and Omega”

Plot Description: the team scrambles to form a plan that can stop Amara and preserve the universe, but one of them will have to make a big sacrifice

“Carry On Wayward Son” gets neglected again…fine. I’ll do it myself *opens Spotify*

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: no one died

Ok but why would Cas know where Lucifer went after Amara ripped him out? I didn’t know where my teeth went when I had to get a couple pulled as a kid. Frankly, I didn’t even know they’d been pulled, I thought the dentist had to go get bigger pliers

I have zero sympathy for god…..

Now might not be the time to ponder on canine eating schedules, but at least “I didn’t know dogs had breakfast” is the most solid proof that Castiel is in fact back

I don’t know what I’m supposed to be seeing in the sky there. It looks DIFFERENT, sure but I’ve literally seen worse. This year.

I swear if Cas never gets to confront god himself I’ll be so fucking mad

“If you got something for me to punch, shoot, or kill, lemme know, and I’ll do it. I’ll do it til I die, but how are we supposed to fix the friggin’ sun?” They really wanted me to take that line seriously and not laugh

Why are we in London all of a sudden?? Who is she?? And why is she after Sam and Dean??

Rowena and Chuck talking about parenting is a much needed moment of levity, especially paired with Crowley being thankful the world is ending, hearing about himself at one year old

I’m just confused what Sam wants them to ACTUALLY do. “Anything” is not a real counter

Where ARE Dean and Cas going?? Beer run? Joy ride?

Behold, the face of a man whose crush just told him “you’re our best friend” and “you’re our brother.”

What an interesting solution. And honestly, I should have seen it coming. You can’t have just either darkness or light. Both have to be in existence equally….but what if equally….meant none at all?

Rowena’s eye makeup is fucking gorgeous, but omg did she really just say “if you get me enough souls, I can build a bomb”??? I am equal parts “this is a ridiculous line” and “LET. HER. COOK!”

I can’t believe we’re gonna try to vacuum some ghosts out of an old mental hospital to get some souls

Oh I bet the person…….I was wrong. Omg. The Reaper that wants Sam and Dean dead. All she DOES is collect souls!

If this pigeon feeding old lady convinces Amara to not destroy all of existence, I’ll scream

I’m…unwell at the thought of Dean being the bomb. They’re gonna shove hundreds of thousands of souls into him……and half of what I’m thinking about is when Castiel took all the souls out of purgatory and the parallels and how they’ll be the only two with that kind of experience. The other half is don’t let Dean sacrifice himself!! Billie’s gonna take him to the Empty and he’s not the only one with a PERSONAL CONNECTION TO AMARA. Chuck is literally right there

One day, I’ll figure out how to put eyeshadow or more liner under my eye without it looking bad. I want to make this look work. It’s stunning

Oh are we getting the London lady again? For like ten seconds……

Take those souls out of Dean and do it yourself, you fucking coward

“I could go with you” CASSSSSSSSSSSS

Watching Dean say goodbye to Sam is so hard. After all the times they’ve fought tooth and nail to keep the other from dying…to have this air of acceptance because it’s for the sake of all existence

Why are all these family therapy sessions led by one or more Winchesters working so well??

Guess the sun’s back…so what does Dean do with all those souls now?

The way Cas’s first thought upon seeing the sun back was about Dean

So Amara heals Chuck, Chuck takes the souls out of Dean, and then Chuck leaves again

One, I can’t believe that lady just shot Sam, Two, I can’t believe Amara and Chuck just left Dean stranded……EXCUSE ME?!?! What I really am having trouble grasping is MARY’S BACK?!!

[shallowseeker]

Shal, I hope you are feeling better! I wanted to add something to your Silvia-Amara meta if you don't mind me putting something into the mix as a long shot. Carmen from the djinn dream in What is and Should Never Be looks a lot like both of them. That seems like something!

Thank you. I'm feeling some better, but veeery sore and sleepless for the pain. (On the flipside, I can breathe better and already have more energy.)

This is so iiiiiiiinteresting, thank you!

I'll be honest...I had to go back to remind myself what Carmen even looked like. But yes! Carmen from the El Sol ad! Carmen the nurse! (I always thought she was a nod to one of Dean's psychosexual fixations, too; that is, films with hot men who dance like Swayze (Carmen 1983). I mean, hello Antonio Gades.

Plus, you know his thing for Spanish soap operas... ("Mi amor! Mi amor! Por favor despierta!" Poor Ricardo.)

And Dean's love for soaps from 7x03 The Girl Next-door. (Yes, the "My love, my love, please wake up!" one.)

//

Ahem. Anyway. Back to our Carmen. *points* Oh, my God. Yeah, it's El Sol, but it's also the specter of the beach. I am choking on my own spit here.

There's definitely something analogous in Sylvia (from season 15's Gimme Shelter) being an idealized something that Connor maybe thought he wanted, felt comfort going after, or tried to make himself want.

For that matter, I think there's something parallel here in how Amara views her love for Dean, too. Amara's view of Dean is idealized, draped in always-or-never statements, and impersonal. Meanwhile, the Dean of season 11 has grown immensely since the djinn dream in season 2. His conceptualization of love has become less romanticized:

DEAN: I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that.

Carmen was an ideal, and Amara was perhaps the network's ideal, but Sylvia is actually not quite as one-to-one to either of them here. Sylvia was a real relationship with Connor, even if was perhaps a tragic childhood misstep for Connor while he was trying to figure himself out.

Of course, Carmen Porter's own words come back to haunt the Dean & Amara and Dean & Carmen relationships. Even our idealized romantic relationships falter, and they too become as baggage-ridden as our family, and our family is imperfect.

CARMEN: Well, you don't really spend a lot of time together. I mean, I just think you don't know each other all that well.

In early days, Dean's conceptualization of Carmen is adorably immature, like a teenager's dream: someone who accepts my eating habits n' idiosyncrasies, listens to me, and loves me. Someone who is "respectable" and stable. (In season 2, Dean is still, like Amara, dealing with the core wound of his nursery.)

Sylvia and Connor seemed to know each other quite well and were "a couple." He genuinely loved her, in his own way. Their connection just wasn't exactly what Sylvia thought it was, or wanted it to be. She became angry with Connor and called him a LIAR, and then she murdered him.

Dean has carried healthy relationships with dark-eyed beauties as well, like Lisa Braeden and "I-thought-we-had-a-connection" Risa from season 5's The End.

Hmmm. Okay, yes. I think your point is a good point. And it has branching points, too. There's a lot tangled up in here! Season 15's Sylvia Jones has some uncomfortable similarities to season 5's Risa, especially.

//

(REF: Here's the recent stuff about Sylvia and Amara-Silvia stuff and more Amara failing to recognize romantic love and Chuck setting Amara up for disappointment.)

[maipareshaan]

Okay plan, i infilitrate D/sticule, how? Channel a gay fetish, Heller googles, self centered whiny "activism", zero doing media right or fandom right but hyperfocusing on doing it positive and right bcz its good and happy narrative for me. Violent hatred and superiority complex for anyone who doesn't watch spn for ultimately being good and progressive via found family D/stiel. Also be real most blogs going to be cancelled do this too, they are just more proship about fanon and like problematic stuff within this attitude. The attitude itself being the problem. Anti eat anti world whatever.

Then i make a hateblog and be like 'w* dni, or i will stab you" and say 'send hate asks guys for fun and ofcourse activism.'

Okay practice

Dean loves Cas, Dean could fuck Cas and poeple would be like Dean is straight, Dean fucks women bcz he is gay and is forced to fuck them by comphet that his homophobe father forced on him, god why won't this homophobic het evil incest supporting world get this. We were queerbaited and silenced. #Deanisgay. I am such a brave pure innocent soul and an activist, everyday i endure.

Convincing?

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Okay IIm up.

So the conceit is like. Let's consider that Lucifer's fall involved an actual angellic civil war that was some time in the making. Or at least the beginnings of one. Divided loyalties and skirmishes and such. I don't think this is actually textually supported but it's what I'm going with for this.

Castiel is your regular rank and file angel, aware that there's tension brewing in the upper eschelons of heaven but not really affected by it. He thinks humans are pretty neat so he's in a position to remain ideologically opposed to Lucifer. He gets assigned to protect some group of humans, some village with some important lineages in it perhaps. And then because of the growing tensions in heaven he gets left alone with very little oversight. He's a good loyal little soldier with a middlingly important assignment that no one is very concerned about. He probably gets approached by more than one person who's considering Lucifer's side of things to try to scope out whether he'd be sympathetic to their cause, but he's unintrrested in what they have to offer.

Time passes, Castiel gets overly attached to his charges and starts getting more hands on with his interactions with them because no one is paying enough attention to tell him not to. They almost certainly start worshipping him as a God and Castiel tries to gently discourage that if he notices it at all, but he probably doesn't. The love his humans have to offer him is not something he's capable of turning away. He adores them and throws himself entirely into not just protecting them but ensuring their community flourishes and all their needs are met, going well beyond what he's meant to do to safeguard them.

Eventually lines are drawn in heaven and Lucifer splits with his followers, conflict is probably still just like skirmishes between lesser angels but forces are gathering and both sides are looking to consolidate power. Orders probably come down for angels to start returning to heaven and amassing at Michael's side and Castiel just kinda tells himself they're not meant for him. He's not really important and him going awal isn't noted right away so he gets away with staying for a bit.

The real problem arises due to the nature of souls. They're an incredible powersource and both sides start amassing them as much as possible. It's no longer a guarantee that reapers will reach their destination safely and Castiel is terrified about what could happen to his charges when Lucifer gets his hands on them. This feeds into and justifies a growing jealousy that has already been a problem for him, because while he cradles each and every one of the souls of his charges and hands them off to the reapers personally, he has grown to resent the fact that he has to hand them off at all, that they go to heaven and leave him. Now without the assurance that they will safely make it there, he can't bear it anymore.

So he starts eating them.

He makes a space for them inside himself, not as complex as a heaven, the experience is more of an endless miasma of love and light, with the impression of being surrounded on all sides by loved ones and the occasional moment of connection and recognition between souls all jumbled up together like soup. Castiel consumes them and they become part of him, a gradual loss of their sense of self in favour of being part of the bliss of a greater whole. This is ideal for Castiel, who gets to keep them safe inside of him forever, and experience the joy of becoming one with what he loves, no longer suffering the pesky separation of having to adore something external to himself. He may or may not get them all to pledge themselves to him so that it's less likely that their souls will stray or go missing. An afterlife that involves achieving oneness with their god isn't even all that odd a concept or a particularly bad deal as far as spn afterlives go. They don't even have to work very hard to achieve their eternal reward.

Obviously the sudden lack of souls incoming from Castiel's neck of the woods is a cause for concern and someone finally looks up and realizes they haven't heard from him in decades and only received cursory reports for centuries before that. When they send a few angels to check on him they're horrified by what he's become, expecting a turncoat funneling souls to Lucifer and finding instead a madman carrying out blasphemies even the adversary hasn't considered.

Castiel doesn't understand what he's done wrong. He's protecting his charges, and that means protecting them from everyone, even the forces of heaven, skirmishing with increasing frequency and devasting lands, sending more refugees to the safe haven Castiel has created, the only one who cares enough to protect them and keep them safe, his humans.

Fortunately he has consumed enough souls at this point to be far more powerful than the average angel, and he rebuffs the first frantic attack, but he's spread thin over his growing base of followers and knows he won't be able to protect them alone forever.

His humans are good and selfless though, and many of them volunteer to help protect their community, although they are only human and are small and frail, they have indominable spirits, and it is those spirits that Castiel learns to mold into suitable protectors for the rest of the flock.

Maybe he's heard rumours about Lucifer making demons from human souls, maybe he comes up with the idea on his own. Either way his methods are different, gentler in intentions but in practice only more surgical. The process of becoming a demon is always torturous but the actual torture is somewhat superfluous, it's really only about breaking the human down until they're willing to do it to themself, because the human soul is not something that can be altered by outside forces. But Castiel's humans have already given themselves over to him entirely, they've already consented in any way possible, he doesn't need to coerce a yes from them. He can twist them directly, strip away parts of their light to make them stronger, and consume every piece they have to lose for safekeeping.

The resulting demons are no less capricious and cruel, but possess more of their former character, maybe a bit more of a tendancy towards clever and cunning than brute strength. In the future they'll be crossroads demons, controlling that arm of hell almost entirely and funneling as many souls as they can get away with down to the very depths of the pit where their own true fathergod resides.

They're unshakably loyal and inescapably monstrous, and Castiel loves them dearly as they are, the twisted opposite of everything he adored about the bright shining souls in his care, but his creations nonethelessand thus perfect in his eyes.

It's not long after this that Lucifer starts to approach him. Castiel rebuffs him at first of course, but his position is far less secure than it was the first time, and Lucifer is far more convincing than his followers. Castiel has been rejected from heaven and is under seige, it's not ground he can hold forever no matter how powerful he's become. Lucifer promises allies, protection, and as many human souls as they can get their hands on.

There's still the inescapable ideological differences, but Lucifer talks about freedom, how he doesn't hate humans, but only wants the freedom not to bow down to them, how in the world they create, Castiel will be free to do whatever he wants as well, implying or even outright promising he'll give Castiel stewardship over humanity as a whole once they win.

So Castiel agrees, and the end result is him taking control over a large portion of troop production. He still prefers to make demons personally, but the torture method is more effective for mass production so that continues as well. At some point the necessity for a base of opperations off earth becomes apparent, an equivalent to heaven, and Castiel who has like. Expanded and modified himself drastically, first under the influence of the souls he's consumed and then in an effort to be more hospitable to his demonic children, becomes like. The basis for that. With a help from Lucifer he turns his body into the structure for a pocket dimmension that eventually becomes hell. It quickly expands outward and beyond him but he still supplies the foundation for it. His consciousness/being gradually sinking lower as hell is built on top of him and he is entrapped, relying on his demons to ferry souls and information back and forth to him.

For obvious reasons this means he's not directly involved in the fighting, and heaven is generally under the impression that he's dead. Lucifer is defeated and gets trapped into the cage, which gets sunk into the same dimmension Castiel is occupying and provides kind of like. A counterweight. Like if reality was a thin sheet and Castiel was holding hell together by spreading out his limbs to make a little pocket in it, Lucifer's cage creates another structure that opens up a pocket of empty space between it and Castiel. Over time this is where most of the growth happens on hell, so while Castiel is still part of its foundations it has frown far beyond him, and as the centuries pass most demons don't even know he exists.

Except that if you venture down far enough into the pit, you don't come out. Everyone knows that. Fewer people know that there's a certain quota of souls that gets directed down there based on some ancient agreement only the oldest demons know and hate talking about. There are unsubstantiated rumours that a lucky few have been down there, where all the light goes out, and something keeps drawing you further and further in, down floors of bone and corridors that press in tight and pulse made of something not quite flesh and not quite metal. Until you see distant pinpricks of light again, dozens of them, brilliant and blue, getting bigger in the dark until you find yourself surrounded by them, dozens of eyes, each of them bigger than your whole body. All of them focused entirely on you.

Hungry.

If they ever talk about it, the demons that ventured into the pit and made it back again always tell it that way: It's down there, it's ancient, alien, and powerful. And it's hungry. They leave out this part: It loves you. It's hungry because it loves you so much it could just eat you right up. And you don't even want to stop it.

The demons that come up from the pit without having ventured down in the first place, well they don't say a thing about it. They know exactly what's down there, and they know what the ones who've seen it won't admit even to themselves: that walking away is only bearable because deep down you know one day you'll be back.

And then of course, one day. The righteous man's soul enters hell.

Once long ago I looked at a handful of AUs where Cas was a demon or fallen angel allied with hell since way back when Lucifer rebelled and I went that's neat I wonder if I can think up a motivation for him to end up in that situation that feels in character to me personally and the end result was an AU where Cas as a warped former angel and literally was hell. As in he had constructed it as a pocket dimmension out of his body and as he was fed more souls it just kept growing, and if you went down deep enough you could find him down there and he would almost certainly swallow you whole because he was a being of toxic all consuming love for humanity in all its forms.

[impishglee]

Angels as Eusocial Insects: Caste Determination and Task Allocation

hey guys im back at it again with the applying my studies to xenobiology and my cringe interests <3 and im here to talk abt the angels of supernatural bc i saw this post and it made my brain start zooming. i don’t know shit abt christian or jewish mythology nor will i be digging into it bc thats just not what this is about. im explicitly treating angels basically as a species of alien and only working w what is provided by supernatural itself.

In Supernatural it’s implied that angels are separated into predetermined ranks, largely determined by how powerful they are as a function of their grace, as well as having several specialized angels such as cupids, rit zien and grigori. You know what else experiences a similar phenomena? 

(image source)

ANTS!! As well as other eusocial species like some bees, wasps, all termites and weirdly, naked mole rats. I’m going to be focusing on ants primarily bc that is what i know best. i’m going to be breaking down angels as eusocial insects in two topics:

CASTE: what are the castes and how are they determined, and what are analogous biological examples?

TASK ALLOCATION: on a smaller scale, how do angels divide work among the same caste?

Before we get into it, let’s just get a definition of eusociality out of the way and see if angels check the requirements: Eusociality is the most “advanced” or “complex” form of sociality, defined by:

• Cooperative brood care - we know basically very very little about how angels are “raised” and they more or less seem to be created fully matured, but from the vibes it seems like younger angels are taught and accountable to a variety of older angels. 

• Multiple generations living in the same colony - eyup. 

• Division of labor into reproductive and nonreproductive groups - I would argue yes! In this case I am defining angelic reproduction as the ability to make more angels (excluding nephilim, we are just. ignoring nephilim for the purposes of this meta). In this case God and Archangels are our reproductive castes. 

o Angels reproduce asexually, so we thankfully don’t have to worry abt sex determination. There are no drone/male equivalents.

Stunning. Incredible. Angels are eusocial. MOVING ON!

CASTE:

Caste in eusocial organisms is a morphological category that is roughly split into the queen(reproductive female), workers(nonreproductive females) and drones(male reproductives.) These are not harshly defined in all species and you can get intermediate forms, as well as highly specialized subcastes of workers. If I were to apply these castes to supernatural angels I would sort them like this.

Queen: Chuck lmao

Intermediates: Archangels

Workers: Basically everyone else

• Some specialized sub castes of worker would be the cupids, rit ziens and grigori. Examples of some cool specialized ant castes are twig nesting ant soldiers who have a big flat head they use to plug the entrances to their nests and honeypot ant repletes who basically just eat a bunch of food and hang around and feed other ants through trophallaxis(regurgitate into other ants mouths)

Now castes are morphologically distinct, and these morphological differences are determined by a combination of genetics and environmental factors. In many eusocial insects, reproductive caste determination is a product of how much they are fed in the larval stage, quantity over quality, royal jelly is fake and doesn’t actually affect the development of queens.

In some eusocial species(some wasps, naked mole rats) the reproductive queen is determined by who can beat everyone else up. If the current queen/alpha female dies or is removed from the colony, the strongest females will then enter a period of conflict where they will beat each other up, sometimes even killing competitors. I think this is basically how spn angels work and why the archangels are at eachothers throats as soon as God dips.

In summary: angel caste is determined by “genetics” aka how they were initially made, how much power they obtain, and dominance.

TASK ALLOCATION:

So! If 90% of angels are the same caste, how to they decide who does the smiting and who gives the heavenly lobotomies? 

In social insects there are a couple theories and it varies by species, but in the case of angels I think the two that align the best are morphological and spatio-temporal task allocation. 

Morphological Task Allocation: 

This one is pretty straight forward. In social insects, often bigger, burlier workers will do more dangerous/physically demanding jobs, like defending the nest, foraging and scouting for resources. Smaller ants will be in charge of tasks like tending brood and queen, cleaning the nest, and nest construction.

Bigger, stronger angels will be in charge of more dangerous jobs like smiting demons, fishing the michael sword out of hell, etc and weaker angels will be in charge of maintaining heaven and it’s souls and ambiguous corporate angel duties. Also the lobotomies. 

Spatio-Temporal Task Allocation:

This theory on task allocation is the idea that as an individual gets older they do progressively more dangerous tasks, a good example of this is honeybees! When a bee pupates into a bee, it’s first job is tending brood, then it moves on to nest maintenance/construction, then nest defense, and then the last thing it does before it dies is scouting/foraging. This is the temporal aspect. It’s basically to maximize the efficiency of a lifespan. 

The “spatio” aspect is that ants are essentially doing whatever job needs doing wherever they are, so when they are born they tend the the brood, then other ants pupate and they run out of work, so they move further out in the nest to see what else needs doing like nest maintenance, then more ants start doing that job, so they go further out to forage. 

I think there’s decent enough evidence for this for angels. The temporal aspect is less strong admittedly, though I do think younger angels are probably more relegated to working in heaven instead of going to earth or hell. A strong piece of evidence to me is that Metatron gets saddled with the job of being God’s scribe just because he was there, he was just a random worker in proximity to a job that needed doing, so he did it. 

SUMMARY: Bigger angels do more dangerous jobs, stronger angels also do more dangerous jobs, older angels do more dangerous jobs, and also angels just do whatever job is in front of them.

WOW I THINK I’VE SAID EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY ON THIS TOPIC! THIS WAS SO LONG! IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR, I LOVE YOU <3 I LOVE ANGELS AND ALSO ANTS!

[zepskies]

Aww yay!! Honestly it makes me so happy that you were anticipating this one, because this "Midnight Espresso-verse" is really so dear to my heart and soul. 🥰🥰

And....yeah, sorry about the cliffhanger again. (You know me. 🫠)

But omg thank you so much!! Like I get it, it's fanfic, but isn't the romance all the more delicious when there's friction? I strive for a balance of realism and "fantasy" world, if you will. I feel like that's something that SPN itself did very well with the world in general.

But specifically when it comes to writing romance, I think it's all about the "push and pull." And like you said, arguments and compromise and coming back together makes it all work. 🥹

Two different people are trying to figure out how they combine their lives and there’s always going to be disagreements and frustrations but it’s how those are handled that makes it.

1000000% this! 👆🏽

Lol I loved writing Sam's interjections too. Patient, coaxing, mildly teasing and chiding at the same time. Like really Dean, you're bitching to the guy who has as many issues as he has with keeping a girlfriend? 🤣

[On the reader's haircare, hour-long showers]: Oh, you're absolutely welcome. I drew from personal experience there. 🤣

Washing hair takes time god damn it! Then there’s the drying and the styling and even light make up takes time.

Like YES. How TF can anyone get ready in 5 minutes? It's beyond me. Just 'cause our girl's a hunter doesn't mean she can't have a self-care routine! Dean, it takes time to look this good, honey. 💅🏽

Honestly Sam and Dean deserve someone to make them a home-cooked meal every now and then. 🥹 But you took me out at the knees with this one:

Like I know it’s a big joke how much dean eats and it is genuinely such a funny line but it also makes me think of the little boy who always made sure his little brother had enough to eat and probably went hungry more often than not 🥺

😭😭😭

How dare you!! lmfao 🤣🤣 Now I'm crying internally for baby boy. This is why I wanted to write this reader who's a nurturer like he is, so someone takes care of him for a change.

And thank you for shouting out my favorite lines to write in this one:

“Dean quirks a smile. It’s taken him time to get used to how open you are with your affections, but he likes it. All of it. Every time you reach for him, touch him, brush against him, intentionally or not. He always has.” Oh my sweet boy 🥰 this just makes my heart so full. This is just what Dean deserves in a relationship and it makes me so. Damn. Happy.

It brings me so much joy -- not just the thought itself but that you enjoyed it too. Because this right here is what I want most for Dean in a relationship. To have him know that his girl loves him in every familiar touch. (I need to stop before I get carried away. 🫠🥲🥲)

[On self-deprecation, body insecurity, and new families]: Yeah I wanted to continue the theme from "Midnight Espresso," that she still carries her insecurities deep down. Even though she knows how Dean sees her, it's going to take time for her to change how she sees herself. But he's nothing if not stubborn. 😜

Oooh I knew I could trust you to pick out the Fleetwood Mac reference. 😉😉

Oof, I know this vamp case is rough. Idk why my brain came up with this (yeah, go ahead and write the most depressing scenario ever). Unfortunately, Dean does have a point, doesn't he? I wanted to continue the threads from ME again: he was attracted to the fact that she cares, but there does come a point where that works against her.

You're right to have alarm bells going off. I won't spoil it (but I think you know where this is heading. 😥) It will be a bumpy road in Part 2, but it's ultimately very hurt/comfort, then very fluffy (and more stuff lol).

Thank you so much as always!! Can't wait to put out Part 2 next week!!

Devour Me - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized/Latina!Reader 

Summary: When you and Dean start to press each other’s buttons, both of your tempers ignite. To make up for it, you give him an impromptu salsa dancing lesson…one he didn’t exactly ask for. (18+)

AN: This is a two-part sequel to “Midnight Espresso!” I would read that one first before you dive into this one. (It’s fun, I promise!)

Word Count: 3,800 Tags/Warnings: Supernatural shenanigans, tiny bit of body insecurity, hurt/comfort, fluffy fluff, and a cliffhanger...

Part 1: A Takeover

When Dean asked you to move in with him, he really didn’t think it would come to this.

Clearing a nightstand for you, half of the dresser, a section of his closet. Those things are reasonable. 

But this is a total takeover, he thinks, as he surveys the sheer amount of crap you’ve brought into his room.

Mind you, despite this still being a bunker, the décor is nice. You brought in sturdy, but stylish wicker baskets for his pile of cassettes (and your CDs) next to the TV, filing bins for the haphazard shuffle of papers on his desk, installed dark wood shelves on the wall for his various weapons and your collection of books. 

But he’d had his music organized—not alphabetically or chronologically, but by his own personal rankings of awesomeness. Now they’re all shuffled together by band name. 

Plus, he likes having his shotgun on the floor by the bed, within reach, not three feet above his head. And where the fuck is his collection of…magazines?

The point is, every time he looks for something, you’ve put it in a different place. Not to mention the damn bathroom (don’t get him started on all your shea butter lotions, makeup brushes, frilly-smelling soaps, and the army of hair products now taking up space in his cabinets and drawers). 

Dean is sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to figure out where the hell his cassette of Zeppelin IV is, when you breeze into the room he now shares with you. You’re dewy with sweat in a Guns & Roses shirt and some yoga pants you reserve for cleaning. 

And that’s another thing. You’re more anal than Sam about having the bunker smelling like Pine Sol. However, as you’ve expressed before (after nagging him to pick up his dirty, and occasionally bloody clothes from the floor), while you like a clean house, you are not in fact the maid.

“Hey, baby. Can you fold these for me?” you request. “I need a shower.”

He raises a brow as you dump a new basket of fresh laundry onto the bed. It looks like you washed your clothes mixed in with his, which he actually doesn’t mind. He fishes out one of your red, lacey thongs with a hint of a smile. He bought you these last week, and they already have a tear. (His fault.)

“By the way, next time you move one of my things, mind leaving me a post-it note or something?” he dryly remarks. “It’s like a scavenger hunt in my own damn room.” 

You pop your head out of the bathroom, though he can tell by your bare shoulders that you’ve already gotten undressed. Your mouth is quirked at the corner. 

“It’s called organization,” you tease. “Apparently a foreign concept to you.”

You disappear back into the bathroom, giving Dean the privacy he needs to grumble almost inaudibly to himself. But then he hears your voice behind the door.  

“Oh, by the way. Your vintage collection of smut is in the bottom of your nightstand,” you call out. “That 1996 edition of Busty Asian Beauties is particularly classy.”

Dean hears the wryness in your tone, and his face actually heats up in embarrassment. He frowns at the bathroom door, his jaw tensing, but he takes a breath. Deciding to let it go with a roll of his shoulders, he puts on the TV to catch up on Dr. Sexy M.D. He also neglects the task you gave him, just for a little while.

When you’re still in the bathroom an hour later, Dean starts to get curious about what the hell you’re doing in there. The shower isn’t even running anymore.

That’s when he hears the hairdryer go on. 

He knows he’ll never be able to concentrate on his show with all that noise. So with a sigh, he clicks off the TV and eyes the pile of laundry. You probably cleaned the whole freaking bunker this morning. Despite his annoyance, he figures folding your clothes along with his own is the least he can do. 

Dean scoops up the pile back into the basket and takes it elsewhere. 

He finds his brother at the kitchen table and joins him with his basket. Sam’s gaze raises from his laptop to meet his brother’s grumpy face. He watches in mild curiosity as Dean plops down across from him and dutifully begins folding one of your shirts. 

“You okay?” Sam hazards the question. 

“Fucking peachy,” Dean replies. “Looking for a new case?”

“Yeah. Nothing yet.” Though Sam raises a brow when Dean all but tosses one of your girly sundresses on the table after it’s folded. (It’s yellow, and it happens to be his favorite on you.)

“Everything all right?” Sam asks. 

Dean glances up, finds his brother’s knowing eyes, and doesn’t have it in him to lie. He lets go of a breath, as well as one of his undershirts to rub at his forehead. 

“She’s nosey, Sam. She’s all up in my business.”

“Your girlfriend?” Sam clarifies, with raised brows. “Of six months.”

“Yeah, that one,” Dean quips, with all due sarcasm. “Ever since she moved in, she’s been going through everything, moving my crap every which way, making it so I can’t find a damn thing.”

Sam’s mouth edges at a smile. 

“I’m tellin’ you, Sam, she’s damn near taken over,” Dean insists. 

“You done?” Sam teases. Dean just leans in, like he’s about to level his brother with a secret. 

“Matter of fact, she locks herself in the bathroom for like, forever. I just heard the hairdryer go on, meaning another hour at least. What the fuck is she doing in there, getting ready for prom?”

Sam finally has to chuckle. “Clearly it’s been a long time since you’ve lived with a woman, Dean.” 

Dean scoffs. “Right.”

“And she’s actually been a big help in cleaning up around here,” Sam says, with a growing smirk. “Which is, quite literally, a refreshing change.”

Dean snorts at that. 

“Of course, you’re happy,” he says. “A new damn dish rack turns you on.”

Sam shoots him a wan look. “The question is, are you happy?”

That manages to take Dean by surprise. He hesitates to answer…

But he’s saved when he hears someone approaching. He knows it’s you because he can smell the mix of your floral soap and coconutty shampoo; it’s a scent that often lingers on your pillow and has unconsciously infiltrated Dean’s nose. 

His reply to Sam dies on his tongue when he sees you.

“Hey,” you greet both men, all bright and smiley with your hair in wild curls down your back. 

A lot of the time you keep your hair straight or loose and wavy, so it’s rare for Dean to see your natural look. It’s a good one for you, he thinks. Along with those jean shorts hugging your curvy hips, and the V-neck top you’re wearing, which offers a nice peek of cleavage. 

Your hand falls on his shoulder, with your thumb stroking his neck. You then brush that hand across his back as you pass by on your way to the kitchen. If possible, you’ve become even more touchy since you two got together.

Dean holds fast to your hand, stopping you in your path. 

“So that’s what you were working on in there,” he remarks. “Thought I was gonna need to break out the fire extinguisher.” 

You grin in amusement and do a little twirl under his hand, shaking out your curls a little.

“You like?” you ask. Dean tugs you back over. He reaches out and fingers at the soft ends of your hair. 

“Beautiful,” he says.

“Looks real nice,” Sam adds.

“Why, thank you.” Your smile is contagious, and Dean can’t help reciprocating. You drop a hand on his shoulder again.

“I know you’re our resident Gordon Ramsay, but I kinda feel like cooking today,” you say. “Is Cas coming home anytime soon?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, he called this morning. Probably dropping back in tonight.”

You nod. “Good! I’ll make plenty then…oh, wait, he doesn’t eat.”

“What did you have in mind?” Sam asks. 

“Well, I know you guys haven’t had much Cuban food, so I thought you might like to try some ropa vieja,” you reply. Sam’s brows knit together. 

“Old clothes?” he translates. His two years of high school Spanish can give him that much.

“Yeah! But it’s basically shredded beef with onions, garlic, tomato sauce, and a bunch of other good stuff,” you explain. Then your eyes brighten. “Oh! And I can make my grandma’s famous black beans, white rice, some bread with crushed garlic and olive oil…”

By the time you finish listing the things you plan on making, Dean is already salivating. 

Later that evening, when Dean actually gets to sample said food, he’s eaten enough for three men in the span of forty-five minutes.

“Jesus, man. Going for a record on indigestion?” Sam cautions him, despite his amusement. 

Dean pointedly ignores his brother to look over at you. After he swallows another forkful of beef stew, he says, “Not for nothin’, this is probably the second-best meal of my entire life.”

“Oh, yeah?” You giggle. “What’s number one?”

“Diner called Slammies in Alabama. Best fucking pie on Earth,” he easily recalls. “Double applewood bacon cheeseburger, chili cheese fries, brick oven pizza. Bar none.” 

Sam inclines his head, remembering the food coma he and Dean had that night. They’d hit the rock-hard pillows at the motel and slept like they’d been on an all-night bender. 

“But this is like, right there,” Dean says to you, leveling his hand up by his head. 

“Well, let’s see if this moves the needle,” you reply as you get up from your seat. You answer the question in his eyes. “Forgot something, hold on.”

But before you can leave the table, Dean reaches over and takes your hand. 

“Thanks, sweetheart. For all of this. I mean it,” he says. 

A soft, genuine smile grows across your face. You lean down and press a tender kiss below his hairline, stroking his cheek before you go. 

Dean quirks a smile. It’s taken him time to get used to how open you are with your affections, but he likes it. All of it. Every time you reach for him, touch him, brush against him, intentionally or not. He always has.

Though he has to resist embarrassment when he notices the way his brother is watching him. Sam raises a brow, smiling that irritating smile of his. 

“Oh, yeah. You’re not happy at all,” he intones.

“Never said I wasn’t,” Dean says defensively. But he perks up when you return. Maybe you’re bringing more garlic bread. 

Instead, you’re holding a tin pan.

“What’cha got there?” he asks.

“Dessert,” you announce. It’s a Cuban flan: creamy, rich custard with a consistency smoother than cheesecake, and thicker than pudding.  

You haven’t even sat back down yet when Dean carves himself a generous slice. He moans when a large forkful melts in his mouth. You start to blush as you watch him with crossed arms and a hand over your smile. You don’t know whether to be amused or flattered.

Sam watches his brother stuff his face with a subtle shake of his head.    

“You’re enabling him,” he tells you. You shrug, but then you rest your hands on both Sam and Dean’s shoulders. 

“Now I have someone to cook for,” you say. You have tears in your eyes, but you quickly blink and try to turn away. Frowning, Dean takes your hand. 

“Hey, where you going?” he says, and aims to pull you into his lap. You hesitate, knowing you’re not going to be able to squeeze between him and the table.  

“It’s okay, these hips don’t fit,” you chuckle wryly, with a sniffle. But Dean just backs his chair up from the table a bit to make room. 

“What’re you talking about? You fit right here,” he says firmly, and he tugs you down. This is the one thing Dean has tried his damndest to break you out of—that self-deprecating streak of yours. 

You finally accept being guided into his lap, where you indeed fit snugly across his thighs. His arm comes around the front to hold you close by your hip, while his other hand rests comfortingly on your back.

Looking up into his eyes, you draw enough courage to be honest. 

“I was mostly raised by my grandma,” you begin to explain. Your father wasn’t ready to be one, and so wasn’t in the picture. Your mother died when you were in high school. So when your grandmother also passed away a few years ago… 

Well, you’ve been alone for a while.

You sniff and wipe at your face, but your eyes close as Dean’s lips press above your brow. When you next open your eyes and cautiously look between the brothers, Sam’s sympathy warms you. 

“If it isn’t obvious, you have a home here,” he says. “We can never replace what you’ve lost, but…we’re your family too.”

You know that Dean feels the same way by the way he brushes the tears from your cheek, thumbing at your bottom lip.

"You're right where you need to be," he says, with a hand squeezing your hip. His sincerity is in his even tone, in the firmness in his eyes.

You’re able to smile a bit.

“Ah…I’m interrupting, aren’t I?”

The three of you turn to the kitchen doorway, where Castiel stands awkwardly. He clearly senses emotional tension, but it breaks the moment you turn to him with a tearful laugh. 

“Hey, Cas. Have you ever eaten ‘old clothes?’” you ask. 

His puzzled expression is absolutely priceless.  

When Sam finds a possible hunt in Hope, Indiana, Castiel agrees to go with you all. It’s a small, corn-fed town in the middle of nowhere, and five people have gone missing over the course of a year. 

The latest is a nine-year-old kid named Andy Campbell. That alone upsets you; if you have one weakness, it’s for kids.

“Local farmers have been reporting dead cattle too, drained of blood,” Sam says from the passenger seat in the Impala. “I’m thinking vampires trying to keep a low profile.”

“Sounds about right, if a bit sloppy,” Dean remarks. They are in the Midwest though. If this is a coven, or even a rogue vamp who’s been here a while, maybe they got lazy. “So what, police station first? Get any details they might’ve missed.”

“I want to talk to the kid’s mom,” you say. It earns Dean’s gaze at you in the rearview mirror. “We can get the last time she saw him, where he went missing, anything she might’ve held back from the police.”

He nods and shares a glance with Sam. “I’ll go with her. You and Cas scope out the station.”

The angel has gotten better at pretending to be a Fed, but not by much. Sam agrees, even though Dean sees in his face that he’d rather be taking his brother. Dean tempers a smile and keeps driving to the closest motel in this dusty town. 

You don a sensible pantsuit to match Dean’s Fed suit, along with your badges: Agents Buckingham and Nicks. 

When Andy’s mom, Rachel Campbell, opens the door of her modest home to you and Dean, he lets you take the lead. You’re good at this part, connecting with the victims and getting them to talk. He sometimes worries about you though—that your soft, sympathetic heart will get the best of you. 

“How long has Andy been missing?” you ask, accepting a cup of tea from the woman. 

Rachel is around your age, maybe a few years older. She looks run down, a shell of a human as she looks at the carpet rather than at you or Dean. You can’t know exactly how she feels, but you have a vivid imagination. 

And from the various pictures of her and Andy on the wall, just the two of them, you deduce that she’s a single mother. Just like your mom had been.

“Almost four months,” she admits. “The police station doesn’t even return my calls anymore.”

That upsets you, but you keep a lid on your emotions to focus on the woman in front of you. 

“Andy’s father, he’s not around?” Dean asks. Rachel shakes her head, confirming your suspicions.

“No, we split up shortly after he was born,” she replies, her tone tired and resigned. “I was at work. I uh, I work at a doctor’s office. Andy was supposed to come home on the bus, like any other day…but he never did.”

She sucks in a shaky breath as the beginnings of tears make her eyes red and glassy. 

“His school couldn’t tell me why he wasn’t on the bus. But one of his friends said he was late getting out of class, so he must’ve tried to walk home. Even though he knew he could call me when that happens…anyway, somebody must’ve grabbed him.”

Rachel looks away as a tear streams down her cheek, followed by another. You feel your throat tighten with a sympathetic burn behind your eyes, but you keep it at bay long enough to set down your tea. You reach out and lay a hand on the woman’s hand. She meets your steady gaze. 

“I promise, we’ll find your son,” you tell her.

“What?” you ask Dean as the two of you leave the small house, walking back to the Impala in the driveway. You just know there’s something up with him by the stoic look on his face. It isn’t so stoic to you. 

He waits until the two of you are in the car before he levels you with a raised brow. 

“Look, I know you want to find this kid. I do too,” he says. “But watch out about making promises you can’t keep.”

You frown back at him. “What’s better, letting that poor woman have no hope at all?”

In his mind, Dean thinks it’s worse to give her false hope. But he sees how stubborn you’re getting, so he doesn’t push it. The fact that you care about people like Rachel is part of what drew him to you in the first place, but there’s a line, he thinks. A point where you can care too much. 

When you two eventually meet up with Sam and Castiel, they’ve been able to confirm from the body of a recent Jane Doe, with a row of lethal bite marks on her wrist, that this is definitely a vamp case. 

After narrowing down where each of the victims were taken, the four of you sketch out a perimeter of where the monsters could likely be hiding. It’s Dean who finds the old barn on the verge of a corn field, about three miles away from the school where Andy was taken. 

You all wait until high noon the next day to scope it out. Looking into the front windows is useless; all evidence points to an empty home.

The back of the barn is another story. Cracking the barn door open reveals a large storage area, where a nest of vampires are sleeping in their beds. Some are coupled off, but you note a few on single beds.

Then, your eyes narrow on the humans sleeping piled together in the corner—three women, a young man, and Andy Campbell on a twin-sized bed of his own.  

Dean carefully closes the barn door, and the four of you regroup back to the Impala.

“It’s a bigger nest than we thought,” Sam says, though he keeps his voice quiet. Dean is already opening the trunk for his favorite machete. 

“First, let’s get those humans out,” he says. You agree with a nod when he hands you a weapon.  

Dean shoots you a wink. “This one’s Brenda.”

“What happened to Lucille?” you ask, taking the knife from him.

“That’s the bat wrapped in barbed wire. Matter of fact, I should break her out.”

Dean reaches into the trunk and pulls out the blood-stained bat. He rubs the handle fondly. 

“Ahh, Dad loved this thing.”

You sidle up next to him and glance over wryly. “You want some alone time with your big stick, there?”

Dean flashes you a smirk, giving you a long once over in your form-fitting shirt and jeans. “Well, you’re certainly welcome to join me, sweetheart.” 

You snort in response, bumping into his side with your hip. Dean teasingly bounces one of your curls in your face. You smile and swat his hand away.

Sam subtly rolls his eyes, despite a small smile as he shares a look with Cas.

“All right. Can we go, please?” Sam says in amusement. Castiel awkwardly straps on a machete to his belt. He doesn’t believe he’ll need it, but Sam and Dean are always prepared. He wants to be as well. 

You’re ready to go, but Dean holds you back by your shoulder. You look up at him curiously.

“Hey, follow our lead on this one, okay?” he asks. 

You sense that he’s hedging at something more specific with that request. 

“What do you mean?”  

“The kid. I know you wanna beeline for him the second we get in there, but hold off,” Dean says. His gaze is serious. “He could be turned.”

He got a good look inside, the same as you. The kid was lying on a bed while the other humans were chained up on the floor. Still, you shoot him an incredulous look. 

“Why would they turn a kid?” you ask. “They have the others.”

“Yeah, and they were chained up. Why not him?” Dean asks, imploring you to think logically. He shares a look with Sam, who silently agrees. You look between the brothers with pursed lips. 

“Maybe they don’t give a fuck, because they’re cocky assholes,” you retort. And you walk past them to head back towards the barn. 

The brothers and the angel share one last look, with Dean letting out a subtle breath before he follows you.

You creep back into the barn, as quiet as possible through the room of snoring vampires. The brothers and Castiel go to the sleepy women in the corner. They look dirty and malnourished, wearing threadbare clothing. Sam feels the pulse of the man prone on the floor, but he’s already dead. 

When one of the girls wakes with a whimper, Dean holds his finger to his lips, warning them all wordlessly to be quiet. He looks over and doesn’t find you next to him. He nearly curses out loud when he sees you heading for Andy’s bed across the room. 

Meanwhile, you touch the little boy’s shoulder and shake him a little. He wakes with a small sound of reluctance, but you shush him gently. 

“Andy?” You grasp his shoulders. He nods, though his blonde brows are furrowed with confusion. 

“Who…who are you?” he asks. He rubs at his sleepy brown eyes. 

“I’m here to help,” you reply in a whisper. “I’m going to get you back to your mom, okay?”

After a moment, he nods and lets you pick him up into your arms. You hazard looking over across the room, and you find Dean’s annoyed gaze. Despite the uncomfortable churning in your belly, you ignore him for now and head for the back door.

You’re only able to take a few steps when you feel a hand wrap tightly in your hair and pull it away from your neck, just for rows of several razor-sharp teeth to sink into your neck.

AN: 😬 ...Sorry. If you don't know me by now, I love a cliffhanger. But how'd you like Dean getting used to sharing his space? (And having someone to occasionally put him on his toes.)

Part 2 will feature a good old fashioned "you should've listened to me" fight, some angst, some making up, some salsa dancing, and a healthy dose of smutty smut.

Next Time:

“I don’t care what that legendary gut tells you,” you sass back. “I’m not a little girl, and you’re not my damn father!”

Dean raises incredulous brows at the way you’re shouting at him. He crosses his arms. 

“What’s this, some kind of Latina temper?” he asks snidely. 

You truly become incensed at that. 

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