#spn amara

[spn-rewatch-ventzone]

This show is all Dean has a weird romantic bond with Amara. AND YET every five minutes Dean is talking about how much he misses and worries about Cas

[ch3ck-mat4]

Uh. Just some practice sketches, so I drew Amara and Dean.

Ignore Dean's shoes. I was experimenting with my art style.

[dna2023]

Bumper cars

ps. No life gets hurt.

[roublardise]

they're so distinguished lesbian // disaster bisexual siblings

[gayangelcrimes]

Hi everyone.

(you can pick which version of Death)

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

It's interesting how the perception of some characters, especially in the show itself, comes only from how forgiving Dean is.

Dean hates Alastair and Apocalypse World!Michael because of what they did to him, but especially because they used him to hurt other people, and they're written as unredeemable.

On the other hand, you have Crowley and Amara. They never used Dean to directly hurt other people, so he brushes off what they did (leading him to the Mark, turning him into a demon, having that "connection") and they're textually treated as greyish characters, redeemable.

If the Crowley and Amara things happened to someone else (let's say Sam) I bet it wouldn't have been treated that way by the text. The trauma of bearing the Mark, been turned into a demon, having that unwanted connection, would have lasted more than a couple of episodes. It'd have been used for far more than "I can't go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again." (spn 10x09) and "The real Amara does have a hold on me (…) Something happens and I can't explain it, but to call it desire or love…it's not that." (spn 11x13) It would have haunted the narrative and been referenced to seriously several seasons later.

[wetsocksinbed]

the fact crowley was a better father to amara than he was to his own son

[shallowseeker]

Gosh, Chuck really set up Amara to trust Dean and then lose hope, didn't he?

What a cosmic dick!

The truth is: Amara's love was an immature love, a love of childhood, and even a little like Harper Sayles. In her own way, she's struggling with the Idealization of Apple Pie and the Romanticized Notion of the White Picket Fence.

In season 8, when Dean was reeling from total 24/7-360-degree war and the uncomfortable grayness of real-world civilian life, he too became fixated on an unobtainable concept of love (and people) as something that will never let you down.

In season 15, we find Amara dressed in vibrant hues and exploring life. And it's lovely that Amara has gained so much wisdom in her time spent individuating.

She encourages Chuck to see meaning in his creation. She lectures Dean about how "now is always better than then." She laments the loss of the opportunity to get to know Jack.

However, she's not integrated in terms of how she conceptualizes love, and in particular, she speaks of Dean in always-or-never statements.

AMARA: Like I told you when we first met, you and I will always help each other.

On accepting the wholeness of life, we can turn to Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, who wrote in her deeply insightful book When Things Fall Apart:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

Amara is a long, long way from the disillusionment necessary to truly see another person as a complex individual. She's a long way from the mature disillusionment-and-choosing of real relationships.

In season 15, it's even more of a contrast than usual, as it's flanked by the disagreement-and-repair spousal dynamic that characterizes Dean-and-Cas. Dean became disillusioned with Cas as early as season 4, when Cas and Uriel attacked Anna and especially so in season 6 during the Angelic Civil War. Cas became disillusioned with Dean as early as Dean giving in to Michael in season 5.

///

Chuck eases Amara into thinking that her love connection is real, in exactly the way she had conceptualized it:

CHUCK: The Winchesters have gotten to you, huh? Figures-- you and Dean have that whole weird... thing. AMARA (an awed, wondering smile): That wasn't you? Writing? CHUCK: Ugh! Not that part. Gross. Amara gives another, privately pleased little smile.

Then, once the plan he knows is brewing springs into action, he in turn snaps his jaws shut on her. He'd been grooming her for hopelessness and slaughter all along. And so, he consumes her.

AMARA: No, but... but Dean can't hurt me. CHUCK: No, but he can lie to you. He could send you into the meat grinder with a wink and a smile.

He capitalizes on and then leverages her naivete to cannibalize her. He cuts off her development in order to use her as fuel. "She's in here somewhere," is so ominous. It calls to mind how Amara talked about the beings she devoured, not an egalitarian shared mind-space of equals.

CHUCK: Look, I get it. You wanted him to care about you, but humans... they'll break your heart every time.

Chuck thrives on hopelessness.

[vendettasfanfictioning]

dean meeting god it's like heads or tails, bud, He's either gonna be your father-in-law or your new brother, depending on which of his relatives you decide to marry

[shallowrambles]

Some interesting, malformed, shapeless thoughts:

DEAN (About Jess): Now, I don't know what it feels like to lose someone like that.

KAREN (about Dean): Oh…I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say, you’ve never been in love.

Paired with Amara:

In O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Amara looks slightly confused before she kisses Dean

In Hell's Angel, Amara seems intensely perplexed as Dean shouts for Cas

In All in the Family, the same look of confusion comes over her as she hovers over Cas's chest and uses it for symbolic wayfinding: straight to Dean THE HEART OF THE MATTER

Earlier in the season, in The Devil in the Details, she carved a message into Cas's chest...for Dean to read

AMARA: Blue eyes, you’re not even worth the effort... and no offence, but you look a bit used up. Plus, I have a job for you. Amara puts her hand on Castiel’s chest and Castiel screams as he is sent away in a blinding flash of light.

It's played as a joke, because for one, it's genuinely funny, but for two, the fact remains that she carved a threat to Dean on Cas's chest: I am coming

Twice, she uses Cas's heart to deliver threats directly to Dean

But the fact remains: Amara's never been in romantic love before.

She can't recognize it for what it is between Dean and Cas. She knows it well enough to use it, but mostly it fills her with writhing confusion.

But she does notice it and wonderingly ponders over it. But she doesn’t understand it. Like season 10's Dean, she's dealing with the wounds of her nursery in order to become able to engage in that kind of self-actualization. She's also a little like all those girls craving attention in season 10, from Claire to the girl Rose who is murdered trying to capture the attention of an older unsavory man just to plug the familial lack of support at home. It's about throwing yourself into any distraction just to ease that absence of familial self-worth and security:

MR. McKINLEY: By suggesting my daughter was a slut? DEAN: I'll admit that thought crossed my mind. Then I came here, and I smelled the deceit and the beatings and the shame that pervade this home. MR. McKINLEY: You shut your face right now. DEAN: And you know what? I don't blame Rose anymore. No wonder she put on that skank outfit and went out there looking for validation, right into the arms of the monster that killed her. (Dean looks at Mr. McKinley and in a very calm voice says) Joe, who did this?

And for Amara, it's about the core wounds of the nursery, her brother betraying her. It's like Claire needed a loving parent, not Randy or Salinger. It's like Rose needed loving parents, not Reggie, who would murder her.

Amara's a little like Hannah, too, as Caroline cries out for her husband Joe:

HANNAH: Being on earth, working with you, I've felt things. Human things -- passions, hungers. To shower, feel water on my skin... to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him. Her husband -- his anger and his grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These f-feelings, they aren't for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it's time to step aside.

Amara isn't very good at parsing emotions. Retroactively, we know she brought back Mary to extinguish Dean's volatile "fire" and to quell his inner turmoil. She's trying to assuage the core wound of his nursery, too.

[spn-rewatch-ventzone]

Season 11 is so crazy to watch when you realize Amara was right for hating Chuck. When she says, “You don’t know what he’s like” she’s being so genuine because Chuck is canonically the worst.

[soullessjack]

I keep forgetting that before Amara grew up she was like actually a little kid / teenager who watched cat memes on a laptop while Crowley literally played silly evil uncle with her. can babyjack fans just latch onto this instead of infantilizing an autistic dude all the time . Like everything you want is literally right here with Amara already. that would be so great. Thanx xoxo

[shallowstories]

For @notrenu / @angelcasendgame

"I love all your takes on Jack and since you said we could request smth, I'd love a lil snippet on what Jack would be up to post canon 💕💕"

///

The spindly shape of giant ribs hangs above them, suspended in the starless ceiling like jagged parts of great big birch trees.

They're bone-white, and they stand out of the darkness like otherworldly glowsticks.

The more Jack stares, the more it feels like some kind of giant birdcage.

Or something.

It has a numbing effect.

Every once in a while, something drips from the ceiling, like rain except darker and sludgier. Jack has to close his eyes to keep it from stinging.

///

Amara hasn't moved the whole time they've been here.

Wherever here is.

Jack is has so much trouble remembering how he got here.

(Sometimes, Jack thinks he'd like to forget everything, even his family.)

She's bent over at the waist, elbows resting on the floor, hands balled up tight. Her hair trails out over the front of her face, dragging the floor. It looks long and wet, like something out of The Ring. Like Samara Morgan, or Sadako Yamamura, like a string-haired ghost girl.

Her silk V-neck gets darker the more the muck from the ceiling drips down on her. It makes her recede, into the shadows.

Somehow, it feels like if she disappears, she's going to get digested.

Jack tries getting her attention again.

(He's tried everything, from talking about Chuck to chatting about Sam and Dean. He's even retold the entire plot of The Walking Dead, season 3.)

"You know," he says, speaking quietly, like you would to a spooked horse. "This kind of reminds me of Monstro."

After an unfathomably long silence--days or years or centuries--she replies.

“What’s Monstro.”

This, Jack remembers.

“It’s this…giant whale. From uh, Pinnochio.”

Her fists twitch and then relax, just a little bit.

"Pinnochio."

"Yes. It's a movie."

"A movie."

She seems disgusted or annoyed or both.

"Monstro comes at the very end. It swallows Pinocchio. A-and Geppetto and Figaro and Cleo."

Her hair slides away from her face as her back straightens, and somehow Jack can perfectly make out her eyes. For all her despair, they're dark and shining with intelligence.

"How did they get out?"

///

My very first request. I hope you like it! In this take, the white!Jack that we see on screen must keep each forearm covered, as twin marks, representing Jack and Amara, have appeared on each. And they are trapped in a cage of Chuck’s making.

[hoarderheart]

Oh. OH. It's about. wow. it's about the unwanted yet undeniable connection to such incomprehensibly powerful celestial beings, seemingly unstoppable forces. Ones that would shake the ground and bring upon a storm as they'd like. It's about how scary it is to then be singled out by such a being. By Castiel. By Amara. By God. Because why me? Out of all the people, why'd you pick me? Why'd you save me? Because you're special, Dean. You're different.