#spent the whole night thinking about him
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please take all of tills period cramps and give them to luka
#spent the whole night thinking about him#brain:10k word analysis mouth:i love my musical prodigy wet cat#i kept saying hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby but he legit put up a good fight against luka even with the homophobia psychological torment#this part here was definitely my favourite bc hes barely holding on#he glanced at the audience and immediately tried to regain his composure#my boy was locked in#hmm i just like how hes the most sensitive in the whole cast and doesnt know how to handle his emotions well#but hes trying very hard#im on the till alive truther but the neck wound damaged his voice (it was symbolism for him no longer having to play along with the system)#music is all he knows they only kept him around bc of his talent#so it will be a character arc of learning that he deserves to live even without that talent#i sound delusional its because i read too many r7 analysis threads
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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#Kross ship#(Kinda. It's up to interpretation)#Long post#I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to be THIS much#I started this like a week ago -A-#Lies down and lets out a long howl it's finisheeeeeed#I could have just drawn them spooning and written the rest but noooo I love to do things the hard way#Anyway I think they should be bed buddies#The company helps Cross relax enough to sleep and the touch helps knock Killer out#Cross has to be big spoon because otherwise Killer's soul gets squished and it's too uncomfortable to sleep#Also I realised Cross and Nightmare are the only two in the castle who didn't have knock knock jokes in their backstory#I like to imagine Nightmare has had similar confusing interactions with at least one of them#Cross probably spends the rest of the day panicked that he overstepped a boundary or the others will make fun of him#Not realising that Dust and Horror have fallen asleep together many times#Or that Killer hasn't slept properly in weeks and he's in heaven#I'm NOT drawing a follow up so just imagine Killer coming to Cross's room the next night and finding every excuse to stay#Because he wants it to happen again but he has no idea how to ask (and also Cross seems kinda awkward about it)#Absolutely terrified that I spent my whole week off working on this and it might be not that great so I hope at least one person likes this
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anyway. gillions hair is the texture of green algae and he bites things and has a big fatty muscular fish tail and when he switches from breathing with his gills to breathing with his lungs he has to empty all the water out through his mouth and its really gross and hes got claws and scratches things by accident a lot and hes not a very good singer but he does it anyway and pretzel is a therapy animal and his corals will bleach if he doesnt take care of them so they start going pale if he gets sick/hurt and his skin is sort of rubbery and he eats raw fish straight from the ocean with his teeth and he is deeply deeply superstitious and sorta paranoid and on guard 101% of the time because of how he was raised and hes gullible and dumb sometimes but hes not stupid hes just out of his element
#i mjss him :(#sorry. tbis is nothing. i miss him#i spend a lot of time touching hair algae bc of my job and. i have cknstructed a whole thing jn my head about triton hair#it is like. symbiotic algae and mostly aesthetic but has some cultural importance#i think about fantasy biology somuch#chip knows a bunch of sea shanties because he grew up on a pirate ship but its been so long that he cant remember the words#so he just hums the tunes when he thinks nobody else is listening but gillion likes 2 hear him do that#gillionnand jay have spent so many nights laying flat on their backs on the top deck talking about the structures of their childhoods#and the similarities and differences and intricacies in the habits theyve both unintentionally carried with them#and the constant paranoia and vigilance#i think they understand each other in ways nobody else can even though they wre raised on two separate ends of the child soldier spectrum#anyway. thinkingnabout riptide tonight can you tell
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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Messy school doodles HAHEHHE
Season 2 Robbie (not canon Robbie ofc, but rather the "S2" of my own fic which I may or may not ever finish). The lore is that his hair was MUCH longer than this, but it got shaved off due to Lore Reasons™ and now it's growing back :]
NOT STAN. That's my beta Dipper HAHEHHEE. My notes are just emphasizing how similar they look. Me, earlier today, drawing beta Dipper: "STAN PINES ?! 😨😮😮😨😨😨"
Perhaps. Gay people. I am thinking about it really hard fr
#sometimes writing a story is toying with different dynamics and being like “auughh i LOVE this plotline but it'd go completely against -#- everything else in the whole story 😭“ so I gotta kill my darlings.#and I don't mean “killing off a character”#i mean “killing off this cool ass dynamic that sounds awesome but may not fit the story I'm trying to tell”#anyway#gay people... perhaps#do you see the amazing dynamic these two would have in the context of the story I'm making ??? no you don't#because i haven't told you anything about my story LMAO AHDHABHAHAHR#but point is: i love them#god#toxic yaoi is real#they've got the situationship that can almost rival whatever the hell Stanford Pines had going on (unfortunately they do not beat him)#they've got a dynamic that makes others think they don't care about eachother at all. that they hate eachother and that's all#and they DID hate eachother for most of their time together but after a bunch of years spent with no one else to rely on except eachother?#maybe you DO hate them still. but you can't deny the bond you share because the only other person in the world who GETS IT is him#you've seen him at his best and worst. you've driven him to the brink of insanity. you've taken everything from him#and yet you cuddle when the night is cold and it's so so lonely outside#you know how he likes his pancakes. how he'd rather cut his hair off than brush it. how he's entranced by the stars he never saw so clearly#you recognize when he's about to have a panic attack. you sit with him til he calms down. you hold hands and miss your families together#and you know he's the toughest person you know. so the occasional bang sessions? oh; those are NOT gentle#there's nothing more than a single safeword they never used more than once. because they've been together for so long and they know how far-#-they can push until it becomes too much. but to be gentle? to be soft? to a person who has grown so used to dodging your knives?#that is a whole entire INSULT !!! how DARE you treat me like I'm fragile NOW after we spent our lives on opposite sides of a battlefield?#how DARE you be gentle to me now after you ripped open my guts and shoved salt and dirt inside?#you know how much i can handle and you know I've always loved the thrill#so don't you dare make this any less of a battle unless you want me to bash your head in with a hammer. moron#the real valenpines dynamic i stg. i love them so much you don't understand#i can't believe I'm gonna have to sacrifice this dynamic#robbie valentino#dipper pines
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In a life swap AU rather than just a role swap I think it would be sooo fucked up if Patroclus swapped with Theseus and Achilles with Asterius
#Loving a monstrous hero Slaying a beautiful monster etc etc .#The fact that Theseus felt such an innate connection to Asterius because of his physical entrapment and how that translates to the trappings#of his role . Not to mention how the greater public would handle a hero who looks like . well Asterius .#And then on Patroclus’s side of things I’d say his relationship to Achilles was actually really slow burn with him probably not getting it#at first . But from what I’ve heard he’s also softer than most other soldiers when it comes to murder . So I think while he wouldn’t have#the immediate ‘/oh/‘ moment Theseus is implied to have had I think he’d spent endless nights trapped in that labyrinth reliving that moment#and just . *thinking* about it . much like he did in game with his monologues about them .#I’m not sure about where that would leave us post game . Because Patroclus and Achilles probably die more or less the same way Asterius and#Theseus did . (Though I think Patroclus less . dramatically ? I think he’d grow despondent and a metaphorical ghost from his past would#finish him off . Since I imagine HADESGAME Theseus having a similarly anticlimactic and unglamorous death .) But sulking and then dying in#a rage just *so* isn’t Asterius . Maybe if Theseus and Achilles got swapped but I feel like thematically that’s just less interesting to me#? Trading one pretty insecure blonde boy for another . Maybe actually if Asterius was disrespected in a different way like something#relating to his monsterhood - I mean I’m sure he’s used to it but most people and certainly superiors would know better than to comment on#it when he’s literally in the midst of being the best soldier on the battlefield . And Theseus would be more morally righteous about their#reasoning for being in the war so while he’d stand up for Asterius he also couldn’t abide by what he found to be an amoral action .#There’s no way anyone would mistake him for Asterius though obviously so - oh my god wait JUST NOW realizing Achilles and Pat aren’t just#matching THEYRE WEARING THE *EXACT* SAME SET OF CLOTHING OKAY OKAY . So the whole armor thing isn’t gonna be a plot point . But the main#stuff would still be more or less the same . After Theseus dies I can imagine Asterius doing something stupid . Especially if he was already#like . pretty fucked in the head .#Okay I’m actually lowkey attached to this AU now .#post game plays out basically like a role swap AU I’d imagine . (Let Patchilles be together in the arena they deserve it <33)#Patroclus would be pathetic in a different way but he’d still make a decent heel because of his in game wittiness and original disdain#translating decently to the role . He would just be so so miserable when he loses though I think . And not even in a fun way .#Patroclus’s in game depression is nowhere near as fun as Theseus’s whining but . Unfortunately for him I love a melancholic king so I’m#keeping it .
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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finally made an ultrakill blog
ultrakill yayyy woooo woohooo hoorayyyy yippiee wooo yeahhhh pumps fists in air wooooooo
#im gonna try to maintain a tagging system#vp.texts#? for text posts like this ?/??#vp only because that the name of my 1st ultrakill oc v-p i love him very much#named the blog after act 1 bc i couldn’t think of a creative name#i spent so long trying to edit the theme for this blog#like the custom profile yk 😭#im tired it 3 am#why did i start making this blog late at night waaahhh#anyways trying to get the music to work was the hardest part i have a small brain#this blog will get exactly 6 posts before i forget i need to keep posting about things#on the blog theme i put a drawing of v-p this makes me go yippieee !!!!!!!! yipppoipieeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbs up emoji#i still need to fix the blog theme so i’ll be doing that.. to the best of my ability#need to say that this whole time from creation of this blog to now i’ve been fighting against the effects of melatonin#raaaagh
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absolutely EATING THE DRYWALL over the act 2 resist!durge scene. it’s been three fucking days and im still like. you MEAN i have to Get Up and Go To Work and Function when ALL i can think about is this and it makes me go INSANE. like the absolute emotions of that are something i haven’t felt from anything less than actual tabletop and it’s just. here. in this goddamn video game. and fucking. we all know the scene. probably everyone knows the version of the scene i personally got, even if they didn’t get it themself. and yet. and YET. i cannot even put into WORDS exactly how all of that hit because it’s not even just the one goddamn scene it’s the 60+ hours of choices i have been making up to that point and 60+ hours of time i have put into the relationships i have built with the rest of my party and cutscenes before it that maybe only went the same way for like 0.1% of other people as they did for me or even happened At The Same Time as they did for me and i just. i just!!!!!!
#I JUST HAVE TO GO TO WORK AND PRETEND TO BE NORMAL MEANWHILE IM SITTING HERE EATING THE DRYWALL LIKE#THEY DONT KNOW I ALMOST KILLED MY VAMPIRE#WHO SPENT LITERALLY THE ENTIRITY OF ACT 1 BEING STANDOFFISH AT ME#WHO ONLY DECIDED HE TRUSTED ME LITERALLY THE NIGHT BEFORE#WHO FUCKING STOOD UP FOR ME TO THE REST OF THE CAMP AFTER THE FIRST TIME I KILLED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN’T LIKE ME YET#THEY DON’T KNOW THAT I LET HIM KILL ME WAY BACK IN ACT 1. THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE PARALLELS.#THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT THE INCANTATION FOR THE LESSER RESTORATION HE HEALED ME WITH THE FOLLOWING MORNING MEANS *i absolve you*#SCREAMING AND CHEWING THE DRYWALL AND CRYING#god fucking. neil newbon put his WHOLE CHEST into voicing that scene!!!!!!!!!!!#COMPLETELY ripped and tore into my entire heart#unquestionably my favorite moment in a video game i have EVER experienced and like. i eat up rpgs constantly. i have a lot to compare to.#that was really something fucking *incredible*#and to think i have a good hundred hours left to go!!!!!! screams!!!!!!!!!#who even knows what will eviscerate me next!!!!!!!#bg3#the paranoid android speaks!
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Ignore tag venting about 20 year old pirate films </3
#I am tags rambling in 2023 but I've been analyzing myself about my selective watching of potc#and like why am I overlooking Davy's flaws and misogyny#and I think it's because after Barbossa's behavior in 1 the bar for misogyny became underground for these films#so everyone that didn't threaten women with assault like three times in the movies runtime (like Barbossa)#was already fine in my book#like when Barbossa set that bar Davy could clear it easily because he doesn't do anything like that despite being an abusive ass#its a matter of perspective#also in the deleted scene I feel like Wills like -choose the right woman- was a bit worse than like#what usually will does since will is the only non misogynistic char around#I don't know I spent the whole night lowkey thinking about this shit for no reason#not because of any moral high ground but because I feel like a fail film student if I don't pick up on these things#and let them slide bc of my own emotions#I am pretty sure I can tear into Davy's character and point out the shitload of unlikable qualities#but I just don't want to#and sadly I also wish Barbossa wasn't like that in 1 because I wanna like him and that's the only way I can
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#ok. going to bed soon BUT. some final thoughts#gonna be writing most of tmr because i want 36 done THIS WEEK i am as done with long chapter wait times as yall are. if not more#whole thing is oulined it just needs to exist and umm considering the next 1-3 weeks will be some of the most stressful in my life#i need a distraction!!! thank you tpg#but unrelated. to anyonewho also watches mandalorian who follows me.#i need to write a oneshot exploring existentialist and mortality themes. i need to#because umm just saying grogu is going to outlive his found family father by 800+ years#all of which will be spent without him...nothing left but memories. how do you deal with that#'we all love things knowing we will lose them someday.' Ok#i'll do it when s3 rolls around in march#anyway#uraume pic because im love them & thinking very hard lately about the only established relationship in tpg#GOOD NIGHT#tpg
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Might have to scrap a fic idea because I thought the panic that came with time moving too slowly or too quickly was a universal thing, but now I'm realizing I probably have chronophobia and the fic might not feel the same to other people. Don't want it to drag on or feel rushed if readers won't get the same kind of anxiety the character's getting.
#it was a camp camp jasper fic centered around the whole ''ghosts walk the island on the night of the full moon'' line#*new moon#in the fic jasper would *only* be there during the new moon#he wouldn't notice it at first but when he saw the seasons change to winter he'd start to realize that camp's been over for months#and what would only be maybe a year for him would be all the way up to the canon present for everyone else#actually now that ive done more research into the fer.al blood tundra lore#if i ever continue the fic i might rewrite it for ende instead since there's a lot more canon backing behind that#of course it wouldn't have the same plot points. so maybe two different fics?#the camp camp one more centered on jasper the possibly vengeful ghost. and a fer.al one centered around time.#. noticing the connections to fer.al im starting to wonder if that was subconsciously my inspiration for the cc one#but i don't even think i ever got that interested in the lore until very recently. after starting the fic.#im pretty sure my inspiration was just being very scared of the irene dimension from minecraft diaries#cause i had a whole conversation with echos about how i thought being in a dimension where time moves slower than the outside world#was a lot scarier than being stuck in a dimension where time moves faster than the outside world#using the irene dimension as my only example.#anyway it is 3 am and i am writing this to stop stressing about how my mom gave me one two days to#apply for and get my first job completely on my own without any help.#instead i spent the whole day trying to avoid That but unfortunately there is no way to avoid a deadline#so looks like i remain without a job. yay.
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i keep thinking about gale and olympia and the deep conversation they probably have at some point around faith and gods
#txt#olympia x gale#idk i just think gale is so impressed and in awe of her and how steadfast she is in her faith#while also being her own person#also#bg3 spoilers#but olympia is also so mad about the whole mystra debarcle#not at gale but on his behalf#because she’s spent her life in service to lathander but by Choice!#her faith is a big part of her but it doesn’t control her! and she hates to see him feel so compelled to follow mystra’s every word#anyway i can’t stop thinking about him quietly asking her about her faith in camp one night#and gale just staring at the way the fire plays in her golden hair as she speaks of her god#🥺🥺🥺
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man what a fucking nightmarishly bad weekend this has been
#nat.txt#was not feeling well but had to come out to visit with family anyway because it's my grandparents' anniversary#grandma spent 15 minutes on the phone with my distraught and confused grandpa laughing at him and gaslighting him last night#then was like ''he thinks it's all about him hahaha'' girl he's in the hospital for at least 3 months maybe the rest of his life#STILL do not feel good and have been overstimulated and upset all weekend#lack of control over grandpa's situation & grandma's behaviour has led to my mother turning all her Must Control Something attention to me#which has of course led to a whole weekend of food shaming and her making fun of just like. my personality and preferences#we're having a great time (this was a lie)#emotional abuse tw#for my grandma that is. my mom's just bad at reading the room
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I had to tell my manager, borderline in tears, that I had to go home just minutes after clocking into my second shift after finally returning to work this week because my son’s father is so incapable of watching his own children that he had a tantrum until I came home. But I got to dance in the kitchen with my kids while my oldest very proudly made pancakes all by himself, and although I sobbed the entire way home, seeing my children smile at me with that much love almost made me forget it.
#I didn’t leave him with them alone ofc#my mom was also home but she said she wasn’t prepared to watch the baby and so I had to come home if he wasn’t gonna do it#this man told me to go back to work#told me watching kids was easier than working#spent an entire year berating me for being lazy and not working even though I was fucking half dying in the hospital and I’ve never not wor#even though I’ve been the primary parent and the primary supporter this whole goddam time#and then because I woke him up at 5:30 AM and he was hungover and tired from going out the night before and because my child is still adjus#to my absence#and was crying#he decided absolutely not#blew up my phone cursing me out and calling me selfish and accusing me of abandoning my child because I care more about leaving the house#sending me videos of my son crying and saying he wasn’t going to pick him up at all so I better come home#even though my mom said she watched him pick him up to console him immediately after the video so he was just being a#manipulative ass#telling me he wasn’t a babysitter and demanding I come back and even though he spent so much time telling me to go#he tried to tell me he told me not to#even though once again he said he was moving out last night and wouldn’t be giving me a dime so idk wtf he expected me to do#Sure with the right person I’d love to stay home and raise my children to think I want to go to work ???#but I’m not about to remain trapped and ar your mercy forever but#I could not stay and work after all that. My heart was breaking and I’m not strong enough to watch videos of my baby crying and not react#and even though my mom took him at my request she did not want to take care of him doe ten hours and I had to come home#and I just don’t know how she can continue to judge me daily and say things like you’ll figure it out when I’m trying my fucking hardest an#no one is able to help like it’s no one’s responsibility and I wish I could do it alone but I cannot stay home with y kids 24/7 and not rel#on him#and I csnnot go to work and support my fsmkly#Without him if I have no one to watch my kids#and I was sobbing so hard on the way home I almost couldn’t drive because I feel so trapped that I couldn’t breathe#truly an awful morning but I will spin the memory of my son laughing at the perfect pancakes he flipped#and my other son giggling for the first time when I tossed him up into the air#inside my brain so many times that it’ll erase everything else
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Sukuna assimilating to you
Synopsis: After discovering that Sukuna has been wide awake every time you nap together, you become embarrassed around him.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
It is a scientific fact that when we are around people we love and trust, while in a healthy relationship, the release of oxytocin makes us sleepy.
Sukuna does not need sleep. He is the king of curses, able to continuously use his technique without ever becoming exhausted. When you first suggested that his chambers were "perfect for napping", he had simply raised a brow and considered what that could possibly mean.
You are like a weak creature to him. A kitten or perhaps a rabbit. And since you are never safer than when you are in his presence, you frequently find yourself growing sleepy when you are around him.
Throughout your strange relationship with the king, something that you loved most, is that there never needs to be words exchanged between the two of you. You were both contented to sit in silence. Frequently dozing off together, or so you thought.
You caught on eventually, that he was always awake before you. That his breathing pattern never really changed. That his face never relaxed more than it would if he had simply been sitting with his eyes closed.
One morning, after having stayed the night sleeping, you mumbled to him, "How is it you're always awake before I?"
He rose a brow at you, his upper set of eyes were looking into yours, the lower staring at how you lay across his bed sheets.
"I do not know your meaning." He grumbled out.
You huffed, rolling your eyes. "You never sleep in longer than I do, one day I would like to wake up before you."
"I never sleep at all." He stated before you had even really finished your sentace.
"What?" Your breathy outburst echoed slightly in his bed chamber, "What do you mean you don't sleep?"
"I do not require such things." He turned his torso now toward you, all four eyes studying your face, you had quickly sprung up, seemingly miffed.
"So... so all this time, you've just been... laying there while I've been sleeping?"
"I suppose I have, I do not see how this matters in the slightest." "It matters because I've been... It's just been a big waste of time for you. Sukuna you should have said something." You're upset, he can tell. Your face is scrunched up, your blood is pounding in your veins. Sukuna, however, does not know what to say in this situation.
In all honesty, he figured you knew and were just including him. Did you really think he was that weak? Or could you simply not conceive of a restless existence? Whatever the answer, he had no response for you, expecting a shrug of the shoulders- you he would discover, would not so easily let go of things.
And how humiliated you were. How many HOURS had you spent sleeping with him, within his grasp, in his space for him to have been conscious the whole time? You tried thinking back, attempting to recall a time you had requested a nap when he was uninterested.
He had never uttered a word about it. Never turned you down. Sukuna was not a kind king, he rarely ever did things that were not out of necessity, and he certainly did not do things he didn't like. That, at least, was consolation. You knew he had not been suffering for your sake, but even so, it was embarrassing.
Sukuna, still, could not understand your sheepishness about the subject. He did not care to explain that time works differently for him, that his mind is not so simple as yours and does not require entertainment all the time, that he could sit still for years and not be bothered, and frequently did before you came along.
He assumed you would get over it quickly. In your time as well as his. But days passed and he rarely saw you. You took your dinner with other people of the palace and spoke with him in the most cordial manner. One night, he informed Uraume that they needed to prepare a dish suited for you, something that would entice you, and serve it to him.
He figured this would bring you crawling back to him, tail between your legs. Yet, you did not budge.
Odd.
You were wallowing. You knew it. He did not care to spend time, what? Watching you sleep? Of course, he wouldn't, but it hurt your pride, to know you had been taking up such huge chunks of time lazing about in his presence. Well, not anymore. You slept in your chamber and your chamber alone. Gone were the days of blankets on the engawa, gone were the days of resting beneath the kotatsu while laying your head in his lap, gone were the days of sharing his bed.
If ever he wished for someone to share his bed, he had a whole cast of concubines, though you knew they were never of any use to him, they were mostly just house staff with a fancy title.
The evening he finally decided enough was enough, you were in the washhouse doing laundry.
Your back was arched over a bin full of soapy water. Your hands working tirelessly on some cloth.
"Have you not circumvented me enough?" He spoke in a low and slow tone.
"Lord Sukuna." You bowed, clothing in your hands, suds up your forearms, you bent your neck as to not look at him.
"You will reply now." He raised a brow, watching your hands quietly splash in the washbin.
"Was there something you would like me to assist to?" You questioned. Your head was full of possible reasons for what the king meant by seeking you out personally.
"Do you believe that by not sleeping in my presence I would come to believe you do not require rest?" He spoke in an unserious tone, eyes unblinking.
"No, my lord." Now what was he playing at? Of course that wasn't your intention.
"Then you hide yourself from me because you no longer have time for your king, I suppose." He mused.
Oh, for heaven's sake, "No, my lord."
"I see," He bent down to look you dead in the eyes, "So, you must no longer crave my occupancy of your space. You must not desire my hand running through your hair? I suppose you have tired of staying in my chambers?" His tone remained deep but his eyes were dead serious now.
"I-" You began, but suddenly you felt the urge to cough, swallowing you tried again, "I wished not to preoccupy so much of your time."
"And you made this decision without enlightening your king."
You said nothing.
"You will eat with me tonight, you shall stay in my chambers henceforth." He rose in record speed, turning without a second glance your way, maids were staring wide-eyed at the king of curses as he halted at the entrance of the washhouse. You could not see, but there was finality in his voice.
"I wish not to waste-" You were cut off by Sukunas voice, his broad back still facing you.
"Your wishes do not interest me now, so it seems. It is my wish for you to spend your time with me." His steps resounded through the compound, your face slack.
The maids smirked, and with shocked faces, side-eyed one another. A couple entered the washhouse giving you big open-mouthed smiles, and patted your shoulder as they passed.
That night Uraume made something you would go on to beg them to make for years to come. And when Sukuna pulled you prone from your seated position on his bed, he took a firm fingertip and stroked the space between your eyes, one of his enormous hands encircling your skull and massaging your temples with his thumb and ring fingers. He traced the bridge of your nose to your forehead, the way you would stroke a cat.
Perhaps he thought this would induce drowsiness but all it did was make you feel all floaty inside at his silliness.
And for the first time since that night, you slept alongside him. Within his embrace, and when you awoke, Sukuna's eyes were closed.
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