#spent the whole night thinking about him
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please take all of tills period cramps and give them to luka
#spent the whole night thinking about him#brain:10k word analysis mouth:i love my musical prodigy wet cat#i kept saying hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby but he legit put up a good fight against luka even with the homophobia psychological torment#this part here was definitely my favourite bc hes barely holding on#he glanced at the audience and immediately tried to regain his composure#my boy was locked in#hmm i just like how hes the most sensitive in the whole cast and doesnt know how to handle his emotions well#but hes trying very hard#im on the till alive truther but the neck wound damaged his voice (it was symbolism for him no longer having to play along with the system)#music is all he knows they only kept him around bc of his talent#so it will be a character arc of learning that he deserves to live even without that talent#i sound delusional its because i read too many r7 analysis threads
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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#Kross ship#(Kinda. It's up to interpretation)#Long post#I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to be THIS much#I started this like a week ago -A-#Lies down and lets out a long howl it's finisheeeeeed#I could have just drawn them spooning and written the rest but noooo I love to do things the hard way#Anyway I think they should be bed buddies#The company helps Cross relax enough to sleep and the touch helps knock Killer out#Cross has to be big spoon because otherwise Killer's soul gets squished and it's too uncomfortable to sleep#Also I realised Cross and Nightmare are the only two in the castle who didn't have knock knock jokes in their backstory#I like to imagine Nightmare has had similar confusing interactions with at least one of them#Cross probably spends the rest of the day panicked that he overstepped a boundary or the others will make fun of him#Not realising that Dust and Horror have fallen asleep together many times#Or that Killer hasn't slept properly in weeks and he's in heaven#I'm NOT drawing a follow up so just imagine Killer coming to Cross's room the next night and finding every excuse to stay#Because he wants it to happen again but he has no idea how to ask (and also Cross seems kinda awkward about it)#Absolutely terrified that I spent my whole week off working on this and it might be not that great so I hope at least one person likes this
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anyway. gillions hair is the texture of green algae and he bites things and has a big fatty muscular fish tail and when he switches from breathing with his gills to breathing with his lungs he has to empty all the water out through his mouth and its really gross and hes got claws and scratches things by accident a lot and hes not a very good singer but he does it anyway and pretzel is a therapy animal and his corals will bleach if he doesnt take care of them so they start going pale if he gets sick/hurt and his skin is sort of rubbery and he eats raw fish straight from the ocean with his teeth and he is deeply deeply superstitious and sorta paranoid and on guard 101% of the time because of how he was raised and hes gullible and dumb sometimes but hes not stupid hes just out of his element
#i mjss him :(#sorry. tbis is nothing. i miss him#i spend a lot of time touching hair algae bc of my job and. i have cknstructed a whole thing jn my head about triton hair#it is like. symbiotic algae and mostly aesthetic but has some cultural importance#i think about fantasy biology somuch#chip knows a bunch of sea shanties because he grew up on a pirate ship but its been so long that he cant remember the words#so he just hums the tunes when he thinks nobody else is listening but gillion likes 2 hear him do that#gillionnand jay have spent so many nights laying flat on their backs on the top deck talking about the structures of their childhoods#and the similarities and differences and intricacies in the habits theyve both unintentionally carried with them#and the constant paranoia and vigilance#i think they understand each other in ways nobody else can even though they wre raised on two separate ends of the child soldier spectrum#anyway. thinkingnabout riptide tonight can you tell
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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I just finished watching S2E13 The Stan Who Came To Dinner, and there's a scene I didn't remember before in which Stan asks for Dorothy's forgiveness for all the times he cheated on her, because he wants to face his operation with a clear conscience. Which is,, yikes, of course, but also not the thing I want to talk about right now.
What surprised me is that Dorothy seems to be shocked at his revelations? It seems like she really didn't know about Stan's infidelity? I mean, the whole dialogue begins with her saying:
"I've already forgiven you for that, Stanley. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, it's not bad to wait 38 years to make your first big mistake."
I initially thought his mistake was divorcing Dorothy (since his line before this one is 'I love you, Dorothy. That sounds crazy because I walked out on you, but it's true.' ), but then he admits that the divorce wasn't his first mistake, because he's cheated on Dorothy before -- and she seems genuinely taken aback:
"I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I always assumed something like this could happen, but..."
And this was so strange to me, because I always sort of assumed she did know. She even caught him one time! In S7E8-9 The Monkey Show, she recounts this episode about Stan:
"[...] I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress."
So... she does know (of at least one time)? But then, why didn't she say anything?
I feel like there's three possible answers:
She really doesn't know. She thought the incident with the waitress was a one-time occurrence, and she's believed him all throughout their marriage when he said he was 'going at a convention' or 'working late' or whatever excuse he used to cover his actions.
She's lying to him in the S2E13 scene -- and she's lied to him all throughout their marriage. She does know about his affairs, and never confronted him because she wanted to keep their marriage and their family together more than she hated his guts; she didn't want to rock the boat, so to say. What shocks her in the S2E13 scene is that he's admitting this stuff out loud, with plenty of details.
She lied to herself all throughout their marriage. As trustful of him as Dorothy can be (and as trustful of him as she was in her youth, especially), she's also a smart cookie, and Stan's not really the sharpest tool in the shed. It's hard for me to believe that she never figured out that he was cheating on her, especially after catching him with that waitress; it's easier to think that she forced herself to believe his gaslighting, as part of her efforts to be a good wife to him. When Stan (sort of...) comes clean, she's shocked because it's sinking in, in real time, that she was right.
I'm not sure which option is more likely; I feel like it's probably a mix of the three. At the beginning of their marriage she likely didn't think it possible and believed everything he told her; once she caught him with the waitress, she had a sort of transition phase where she tried to believe he was faithful to her even though she knew the truth, deep down, and then by the end of her marriage she was over it, and simply chose not to let him have it. She's shocked in S2E13 because she can't believe he's admitting this stuff out loud, but she doesn't seem as shocked (and angry) as she would be if she was just finding it out in the moment, imho.
I also feel like her knowing about his infidelity doesn't change the meaning of the first mistake line, because, well... he's always come back before. He's come back to hurt her again and again, but he has come back -- and then she gets a phone call, and suddenly, for the first time, he's not coming back anymore. It's the one time that's so devastatingly painful it eclipses everything that came before -- no wonder she counts it as his first mistake.
#it's 'thinking about dorothy's marriage' hours once again folks#ohh dorothy... oh honey.......#there is so much going on in this episode this is just a part of it. the mere fact that this sorry excuse for a man comes to her for help?#and then he proceeds to LIVE IN HER HOUSE for months?? being waited upon for his every request??#and then he has the gull to LIE TO HER and fake a relapse just to keep being waited upon?? he asks for her forgiveness for his cheating???#he TELLS HER HE LOVES HER??? bitch im going to murder you!!!! leave the woman alone!!!!!!#blanche and rose and sophia are really good in this one they *do not* let him catch a breath i'm so grateful for them#half their time is spent insulting stan and the other half supporting dorothy. perfect no notes#i only wish dorothy telling stan to 'grow up' and to stop relying on her had had any consequence... and instead#he kept bothering her until the very end like the parasite he is#i also wish blanche and rose had kept this energy for the whole 'dorothy remarries stan' thing but oh well#that answer 3 is hurting me so much... like the mere idea...#i can see her lying in her bed at night alone and trying to convince herself that surely. this time. he really is away on a work trip.#there's no way he's having another affair. he's working. he's providing for the family. surely this time he didn't lie#but deep down she knows. she knows he's with someone else. and it eats her up even worse because she pretends everything's fine#AGH dorothy!!!! girl you should have planted a knife between his eyes!!! im sure you would have gotten away with it!!!#i'll go back in time and do it for you if you won't do it!!! just PLEASE girl stop giving him the benefit of the doubt!!!!!#YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak
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finally made an ultrakill blog
ultrakill yayyy woooo woohooo hoorayyyy yippiee wooo yeahhhh pumps fists in air wooooooo
#im gonna try to maintain a tagging system#vp.texts#? for text posts like this ?/??#vp only because that the name of my 1st ultrakill oc v-p i love him very much#named the blog after act 1 bc i couldn’t think of a creative name#i spent so long trying to edit the theme for this blog#like the custom profile yk 😭#im tired it 3 am#why did i start making this blog late at night waaahhh#anyways trying to get the music to work was the hardest part i have a small brain#this blog will get exactly 6 posts before i forget i need to keep posting about things#on the blog theme i put a drawing of v-p this makes me go yippieee !!!!!!!! yipppoipieeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbs up emoji#i still need to fix the blog theme so i’ll be doing that.. to the best of my ability#need to say that this whole time from creation of this blog to now i’ve been fighting against the effects of melatonin#raaaagh
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absolutely EATING THE DRYWALL over the act 2 resist!durge scene. it’s been three fucking days and im still like. you MEAN i have to Get Up and Go To Work and Function when ALL i can think about is this and it makes me go INSANE. like the absolute emotions of that are something i haven’t felt from anything less than actual tabletop and it’s just. here. in this goddamn video game. and fucking. we all know the scene. probably everyone knows the version of the scene i personally got, even if they didn’t get it themself. and yet. and YET. i cannot even put into WORDS exactly how all of that hit because it’s not even just the one goddamn scene it’s the 60+ hours of choices i have been making up to that point and 60+ hours of time i have put into the relationships i have built with the rest of my party and cutscenes before it that maybe only went the same way for like 0.1% of other people as they did for me or even happened At The Same Time as they did for me and i just. i just!!!!!!
#I JUST HAVE TO GO TO WORK AND PRETEND TO BE NORMAL MEANWHILE IM SITTING HERE EATING THE DRYWALL LIKE#THEY DONT KNOW I ALMOST KILLED MY VAMPIRE#WHO SPENT LITERALLY THE ENTIRITY OF ACT 1 BEING STANDOFFISH AT ME#WHO ONLY DECIDED HE TRUSTED ME LITERALLY THE NIGHT BEFORE#WHO FUCKING STOOD UP FOR ME TO THE REST OF THE CAMP AFTER THE FIRST TIME I KILLED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN’T LIKE ME YET#THEY DON’T KNOW THAT I LET HIM KILL ME WAY BACK IN ACT 1. THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE PARALLELS.#THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT THE INCANTATION FOR THE LESSER RESTORATION HE HEALED ME WITH THE FOLLOWING MORNING MEANS *i absolve you*#SCREAMING AND CHEWING THE DRYWALL AND CRYING#god fucking. neil newbon put his WHOLE CHEST into voicing that scene!!!!!!!!!!!#COMPLETELY ripped and tore into my entire heart#unquestionably my favorite moment in a video game i have EVER experienced and like. i eat up rpgs constantly. i have a lot to compare to.#that was really something fucking *incredible*#and to think i have a good hundred hours left to go!!!!!! screams!!!!!!!!!#who even knows what will eviscerate me next!!!!!!!#bg3#the paranoid android speaks!
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Ignore tag venting about 20 year old pirate films </3
#I am tags rambling in 2023 but I've been analyzing myself about my selective watching of potc#and like why am I overlooking Davy's flaws and misogyny#and I think it's because after Barbossa's behavior in 1 the bar for misogyny became underground for these films#so everyone that didn't threaten women with assault like three times in the movies runtime (like Barbossa)#was already fine in my book#like when Barbossa set that bar Davy could clear it easily because he doesn't do anything like that despite being an abusive ass#its a matter of perspective#also in the deleted scene I feel like Wills like -choose the right woman- was a bit worse than like#what usually will does since will is the only non misogynistic char around#I don't know I spent the whole night lowkey thinking about this shit for no reason#not because of any moral high ground but because I feel like a fail film student if I don't pick up on these things#and let them slide bc of my own emotions#I am pretty sure I can tear into Davy's character and point out the shitload of unlikable qualities#but I just don't want to#and sadly I also wish Barbossa wasn't like that in 1 because I wanna like him and that's the only way I can
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#ok. going to bed soon BUT. some final thoughts#gonna be writing most of tmr because i want 36 done THIS WEEK i am as done with long chapter wait times as yall are. if not more#whole thing is oulined it just needs to exist and umm considering the next 1-3 weeks will be some of the most stressful in my life#i need a distraction!!! thank you tpg#but unrelated. to anyonewho also watches mandalorian who follows me.#i need to write a oneshot exploring existentialist and mortality themes. i need to#because umm just saying grogu is going to outlive his found family father by 800+ years#all of which will be spent without him...nothing left but memories. how do you deal with that#'we all love things knowing we will lose them someday.' Ok#i'll do it when s3 rolls around in march#anyway#uraume pic because im love them & thinking very hard lately about the only established relationship in tpg#GOOD NIGHT#tpg
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sitting in bed eating cheese absolutely stewing
#so im doing the dishes and heard a knock on the door right. and bc both my parents r downstairs i answer it#and guess fucking what? its the guy i literally switched out of french to avoid because he kept asking me super invasive questions#so im like What the fuck do u want. and he starts this whole pity story about how he was soooo worried when i kept disappearing from school#and how id sometimes come back with bruises and never explained anything to him so he had 'no choice' but to FIND MY ADDRESS and check in#his words btw. this boy told me to my FACE that me having a private life FORCED him to stalk me to my fucking home#and i just saw RED. good thing is that when i get mad i get icy and brutal so i spent five minutes telling this thick skulled idiot that#he has no right to know anything abt me that i didnt tell him and you know what he does????#this audacious motherfucker says Lets not do this on the porch. and then tries to push his way into my fucking house. thats a hard no for me#so i told him exactly what was gonna happen: he was either going to get off my property and stay away from me or i would call the cops#and remove him by force. id like to say that i literally said he had ten seconds to leave or id start throwing punches#and he goes .... Cant we just talk abt this 🥺??? so i break his nose. and i was within my legal rights to do so bc he was trespassing soooo#yeah anyways i just cannot fucking BELIEVE the entitlement and audacity of some ppl. like its my fucking life i dont have to tell u shit !!!#what the fuck!!! why do they always think im playong hard to get like ffs leave me ALONE#so that was my night 😙✌️ i hope he dies !#l
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One day I gotta tell you guys about the seemingly a time traveller dude I met once who looked almost identical to henry now that I think abt it
#like imagine if you met a deranged looking Jamie Campbell bower in a stairwell at 4 am#and he lost his mind over the existence of a smart phone because ‘you have a map in there?’ and spent 2 hours rambling to you about how#‘there used to be a roundabout’ in one part of the town and would not stop tlaking about how the roundabout disappeared and so how he#couldn’t figure out how to get home as a result. also he would not tell me where home was. not in a ‘wouldnt give me his address’ way but in#a ‘wont even tell me what fucking country or town or city he is so desperately trying to get back to#way. like. it was bizarre and that’s not even the half of it#and then I met a dude who looked and acted identical to him IN ANOTHER FUCKING COUNTRY 2 years later#which was extra weird because the second guy (?) spotted me from across a public bus at night based solely on noticing one of the keychains#on my bag. a keychain that was FROM THE UNIVERSITY WHERE I MET THE FIRST GUY/MET HIM THE FIRST TIME#don’t even get me started. the whole thing was so fucking strange dude like eagle eye spotted my tiny keychain from across a crowded bus#and looked identical to the first dude and insisted on walking me home and it was just. so strange#and not in a ‘dude my age flirting with me’ way bc this dude was past his mid 40s and just. that was Not the vibe but the vibe wasn’t creepy#either like it was creepy in a what the fuck way but not in a stalker/predator way yk#dude also had the most BIZARRE legal name and I can’t even type it here without like doxxing him bc he’s gotta be the only guy w that name#second guy/second time I met him he was rapidly playing sudoku the whole time he was wlaking and talking#strange as fuck#you ever spent like 4+ hours stuck in a stairwell with a time traveller? because I think I might have#I’m half joking but that’s what it felt like FR like dude acted like he’d just come from some far off age#he also somehow managed to get into a completley keycard locked building?? and said he didn’t know how he got here???
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Might have to scrap a fic idea because I thought the panic that came with time moving too slowly or too quickly was a universal thing, but now I'm realizing I probably have chronophobia and the fic might not feel the same to other people. Don't want it to drag on or feel rushed if readers won't get the same kind of anxiety the character's getting.
#it was a camp camp jasper fic centered around the whole ''ghosts walk the island on the night of the full moon'' line#*new moon#in the fic jasper would *only* be there during the new moon#he wouldn't notice it at first but when he saw the seasons change to winter he'd start to realize that camp's been over for months#and what would only be maybe a year for him would be all the way up to the canon present for everyone else#actually now that ive done more research into the fer.al blood tundra lore#if i ever continue the fic i might rewrite it for ende instead since there's a lot more canon backing behind that#of course it wouldn't have the same plot points. so maybe two different fics?#the camp camp one more centered on jasper the possibly vengeful ghost. and a fer.al one centered around time.#. noticing the connections to fer.al im starting to wonder if that was subconsciously my inspiration for the cc one#but i don't even think i ever got that interested in the lore until very recently. after starting the fic.#im pretty sure my inspiration was just being very scared of the irene dimension from minecraft diaries#cause i had a whole conversation with echos about how i thought being in a dimension where time moves slower than the outside world#was a lot scarier than being stuck in a dimension where time moves faster than the outside world#using the irene dimension as my only example.#anyway it is 3 am and i am writing this to stop stressing about how my mom gave me one two days to#apply for and get my first job completely on my own without any help.#instead i spent the whole day trying to avoid That but unfortunately there is no way to avoid a deadline#so looks like i remain without a job. yay.
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i keep thinking about gale and olympia and the deep conversation they probably have at some point around faith and gods
#txt#olympia x gale#idk i just think gale is so impressed and in awe of her and how steadfast she is in her faith#while also being her own person#also#bg3 spoilers#but olympia is also so mad about the whole mystra debarcle#not at gale but on his behalf#because she’s spent her life in service to lathander but by Choice!#her faith is a big part of her but it doesn’t control her! and she hates to see him feel so compelled to follow mystra’s every word#anyway i can’t stop thinking about him quietly asking her about her faith in camp one night#and gale just staring at the way the fire plays in her golden hair as she speaks of her god#🥺🥺🥺
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man what a fucking nightmarishly bad weekend this has been
#nat.txt#was not feeling well but had to come out to visit with family anyway because it's my grandparents' anniversary#grandma spent 15 minutes on the phone with my distraught and confused grandpa laughing at him and gaslighting him last night#then was like ''he thinks it's all about him hahaha'' girl he's in the hospital for at least 3 months maybe the rest of his life#STILL do not feel good and have been overstimulated and upset all weekend#lack of control over grandpa's situation & grandma's behaviour has led to my mother turning all her Must Control Something attention to me#which has of course led to a whole weekend of food shaming and her making fun of just like. my personality and preferences#we're having a great time (this was a lie)#emotional abuse tw#for my grandma that is. my mom's just bad at reading the room
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Sukuna assimilating to you
Synopsis: After discovering that Sukuna has been wide awake every time you nap together, you become embarrassed around him.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
It is a scientific fact that when we are around people we love and trust, while in a healthy relationship, the release of oxytocin makes us sleepy.
Sukuna does not need sleep. He is the king of curses, able to continuously use his technique without ever becoming exhausted. When you first suggested that his chambers were "perfect for napping", he had simply raised a brow and considered what that could possibly mean.
You are like a weak creature to him. A kitten or perhaps a rabbit. And since you are never safer than when you are in his presence, you frequently find yourself growing sleepy when you are around him.
Throughout your strange relationship with the king, something that you loved most, is that there never needs to be words exchanged between the two of you. You were both contented to sit in silence. Frequently dozing off together, or so you thought.
You caught on eventually, that he was always awake before you. That his breathing pattern never really changed. That his face never relaxed more than it would if he had simply been sitting with his eyes closed.
One morning, after having stayed the night sleeping, you mumbled to him, "How is it you're always awake before I?"
He rose a brow at you, his upper set of eyes were looking into yours, the lower staring at how you lay across his bed sheets.
"I do not know your meaning." He grumbled out.
You huffed, rolling your eyes. "You never sleep in longer than I do, one day I would like to wake up before you."
"I never sleep at all." He stated before you had even really finished your sentace.
"What?" Your breathy outburst echoed slightly in his bed chamber, "What do you mean you don't sleep?"
"I do not require such things." He turned his torso now toward you, all four eyes studying your face, you had quickly sprung up, seemingly miffed.
"So... so all this time, you've just been... laying there while I've been sleeping?"
"I suppose I have, I do not see how this matters in the slightest." "It matters because I've been... It's just been a big waste of time for you. Sukuna you should have said something." You're upset, he can tell. Your face is scrunched up, your blood is pounding in your veins. Sukuna, however, does not know what to say in this situation.
In all honesty, he figured you knew and were just including him. Did you really think he was that weak? Or could you simply not conceive of a restless existence? Whatever the answer, he had no response for you, expecting a shrug of the shoulders- you he would discover, would not so easily let go of things.
And how humiliated you were. How many HOURS had you spent sleeping with him, within his grasp, in his space for him to have been conscious the whole time? You tried thinking back, attempting to recall a time you had requested a nap when he was uninterested.
He had never uttered a word about it. Never turned you down. Sukuna was not a kind king, he rarely ever did things that were not out of necessity, and he certainly did not do things he didn't like. That, at least, was consolation. You knew he had not been suffering for your sake, but even so, it was embarrassing.
Sukuna, still, could not understand your sheepishness about the subject. He did not care to explain that time works differently for him, that his mind is not so simple as yours and does not require entertainment all the time, that he could sit still for years and not be bothered, and frequently did before you came along.
He assumed you would get over it quickly. In your time as well as his. But days passed and he rarely saw you. You took your dinner with other people of the palace and spoke with him in the most cordial manner. One night, he informed Uraume that they needed to prepare a dish suited for you, something that would entice you, and serve it to him.
He figured this would bring you crawling back to him, tail between your legs. Yet, you did not budge.
Odd.
You were wallowing. You knew it. He did not care to spend time, what? Watching you sleep? Of course, he wouldn't, but it hurt your pride, to know you had been taking up such huge chunks of time lazing about in his presence. Well, not anymore. You slept in your chamber and your chamber alone. Gone were the days of blankets on the engawa, gone were the days of resting beneath the kotatsu while laying your head in his lap, gone were the days of sharing his bed.
If ever he wished for someone to share his bed, he had a whole cast of concubines, though you knew they were never of any use to him, they were mostly just house staff with a fancy title.
The evening he finally decided enough was enough, you were in the washhouse doing laundry.
Your back was arched over a bin full of soapy water. Your hands working tirelessly on some cloth.
"Have you not circumvented me enough?" He spoke in a low and slow tone.
"Lord Sukuna." You bowed, clothing in your hands, suds up your forearms, you bent your neck as to not look at him.
"You will reply now." He raised a brow, watching your hands quietly splash in the washbin.
"Was there something you would like me to assist to?" You questioned. Your head was full of possible reasons for what the king meant by seeking you out personally.
"Do you believe that by not sleeping in my presence I would come to believe you do not require rest?" He spoke in an unserious tone, eyes unblinking.
"No, my lord." Now what was he playing at? Of course that wasn't your intention.
"Then you hide yourself from me because you no longer have time for your king, I suppose." He mused.
Oh, for heaven's sake, "No, my lord."
"I see," He bent down to look you dead in the eyes, "So, you must no longer crave my occupancy of your space. You must not desire my hand running through your hair? I suppose you have tired of staying in my chambers?" His tone remained deep but his eyes were dead serious now.
"I-" You began, but suddenly you felt the urge to cough, swallowing you tried again, "I wished not to preoccupy so much of your time."
"And you made this decision without enlightening your king."
You said nothing.
"You will eat with me tonight, you shall stay in my chambers henceforth." He rose in record speed, turning without a second glance your way, maids were staring wide-eyed at the king of curses as he halted at the entrance of the washhouse. You could not see, but there was finality in his voice.
"I wish not to waste-" You were cut off by Sukunas voice, his broad back still facing you.
"Your wishes do not interest me now, so it seems. It is my wish for you to spend your time with me." His steps resounded through the compound, your face slack.
The maids smirked, and with shocked faces, side-eyed one another. A couple entered the washhouse giving you big open-mouthed smiles, and patted your shoulder as they passed.
That night Uraume made something you would go on to beg them to make for years to come. And when Sukuna pulled you prone from your seated position on his bed, he took a firm fingertip and stroked the space between your eyes, one of his enormous hands encircling your skull and massaging your temples with his thumb and ring fingers. He traced the bridge of your nose to your forehead, the way you would stroke a cat.
Perhaps he thought this would induce drowsiness but all it did was make you feel all floaty inside at his silliness.
And for the first time since that night, you slept alongside him. Within his embrace, and when you awoke, Sukuna's eyes were closed.
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Broke up with my man today for real this time
#we broke up on the 6th#then immediately got back together#i knew then that i was out#like i fell out of love#so since then ive been hanging on#and i was tired of that#and he was manipulative#like swaying my thoughts about the whole breakup#at least we spent one last night together#but it sucked bc his bed is broken and slumps onto one side#and his stupid cat wouldnt stfu#so maybe it was a sign it was the end#i miss the fun parts#like all the dates we went on obviously#but we hadnt been on a date in months#bc he lost his job#in april#since april ive been dating a man who used to spoil me whenever i wished and now its gone#it had been gone since then#im just thinking about it now#Listening to sad music#ill get over it#i just miss the summer of last year so bad#i had a new job and was making a lot of money#so was he#very stable income for both of us but he took such good care of me i never had to worry#we got chilis all the time too#and i remember sleeping so soundly next to him#i never would wake up in the middle of the night like i did when i slept alone#it really felt special during those moments
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