#spencer reid x ashley seaver

[gingerbread-in-july]

Under the cut lies my personal ranking of all of Spencer Reid's love interests, both actual and potential, from best all the way down to worst, plus a whole lot of unfiltered sassy commentary that nobody asked for. Then again, nobody asked for any of this, but my brain was just on one of its neurodivergent tangents. There's 11 total. Some of this- probably a lot of this- will piss some people off and I am truly sorry. I hope there's at least some other people out there who share my strong ass opinions.

1. Dorian Loker- I will never forgive these bitch ass writers for never following up on that storyline. He asked her out in Russian, for Christ's sake! One of the only times in the entire series he actually initiates a date with somebody. He complimented her coffee! For him, that may as well be a pickup line. He was finally moving on from Maeve. That was a huge fucking step. He was shy and unsure of himself, but he was clearly into her, he was flirting the best he could, and he fucking asked her out. Don't even get me started on him being into her enough to set aside his germophobia and touch her hand by the end of the episode. Or his gutted little expression when he realized he spoiled the book she was reading. They were adorable and they could have been everything. Of all the one-episode love interests, she's the one I'm most pissed at them for never fucking following up on. 

2. Ethan- They were not just friends. I read somewhere that Spencer was initially supposed to be bisexual. They might have scrapped that, but bi Spence still found a way. They for sure hooked up. For. Sure. The chemistry was just there. And I am not one of those weirdo bitches who are overly fetishistic toward m/m pairings. I'm too fucking gay myself to get off on two men together. But those two men for sure were a thing- and good for them. 

3. Austin the bartender- She was hot. They had chemistry. More chemistry than he did with his actual girlfriends. End of. 

4. Ashley Seaver- I know y'all hate her and that she wasn't technically a love interest. However, I guarantee that she would have been if they'd kept her around. They were definitely setting it up to be that way. And, you know what? They'd have been a damn cute couple. I'd have loved to see it. And no, the "sorry for asking" moment was not grounds to disqualify it. Everyone else said as bad or worse to him at some point. If you can ship him with a psychopath who drugged him, framed him for murder, got him falsely imprisoned and nearly killed, kidnapped and tried to kill his mother, and lied about r*ping him and getting pregnant? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can ship him with his fucking doctor who used her own loneliness as an excuse to violate all kinds of professional and ethical codes? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can, perhaps worst of all, ship J*id? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver.

5. Lila Archer- I think their worlds were ultimately too different for them to work long-term, but I do think they would have made a sweet couple for a while. They would each give the other things that their worlds were lacking. They wouldn't have been endgame, but they'd have stayed good friends. Also, "bUt aMbEr hEARD" isn't the dunk you think it is. Johnny Depp is a rich, 60-something year old white man who is problematic as fuck in his own right- and he's never going to fuck you. 

6. Cat Adams- Do I want them to actually be together? No. Does she deserve him? Hell no. Would the people further down this list technically be better for him than her? Probably. But......the chemistry, y'all. The chemistry was there. Matthew and Aubrey just play far too well off of each other. 

7. Maeve Donovan- I didn't hate her, but she was just a vehicle to give Spencer more trauma. I don't think she was "the one," "the love of his life," or any of that other stuff some say. I don't think they'd have lasted if she'd lived. They didn't really know each other. She lied to him about having a whole ass fiancé she never told him about. God only knows what else he didn't know. He started out as her fucking patient, for God's sake. The ethical violations were out the ass. I don't think she'd have crossed those lines if she weren't feeling so vulnerable and isolated from having to hide from her stalker. At least, not if she's as smart as everyone claims she is. Everyone- including Spencer- only puts her on a pedestal because of the tragedy of her death and not knowing what could have been. What would have been had she lived......probably wouldn't have been all that great in the long run. 

8. Linda Kimura- I'll be honest, I don't recall a single damn thing about this woman. I forgot she even existed until I saw her pictured on a potential love interest compilation. While I don't recall them having any chemistry whatsoever, I'll still include her for the sole purpose of ranking her higher than the rest of these shit bombs. And speaking of bombs, that brings us to......

9. Dylan Einstein- For the life of me, I just don't understand why people go so hard for this pairing. It's like she was generated in a Mary Sue factory to fit some stereotype of what AI might imagine Spencer's ideal woman to be. Her last name is Einstein, for fuck's sake. I'd probably respect it more if they did just name her Mary Sue. They were trying too hard to present her as Girl Spencer. The bitch even wore a purple scarf! She also just came across as annoying and overly eager and seemed like she didn't really understand when to fuck off. She butted in too much while Derek and Spencer were trying to work. Some poster here said that the actress who played her shipped the character with Spencer. That is more than obvious in the way she plays her. It's like she read a bunch of Wattpad fic and decided to use the character to try for her Y/N moment. Can't blame a girl for trying, but that is one "love interest" I am glad was a one-off. 

10. JJ- What could I say that hasn't already been said? The J*id plot was painfully forced. Spencer has more chemistry with a fucking paperweight than he does with JJ. Do I love their friendship? Yes. Do I love watching Spencer interact with her kids? God, yes. But, he's Uncle Spencer, not Stepdaddy Spencer. The only way Spencer and JJ are more than friends is that they're found family. Will is an absolute saint of a husband. Fuck them writers for doing him dirty like that. Even pre-Will, Spencer and JJ just didn't have the chemistry like that. I'm glad they scrapped that bullshit early crush storyline after just one episode. Also, am I the only one who remembers Spencer being totally unaffected and not even giving half a shit when JJ finally came out to the team about being with Will? He said something along the lines of "We all knew already." He was so unbothered. No way in hell has he been "waiting for JJ" this whole time or whatever these clowns pulled out of their asses toward the end. Such a waste of a plot. Literally any other pairing would have made more sense. 

11. Maxine bitch ass Brenner- Here we are. Last and least. Even J*id was better than this shit. What the fuck even was the goddamn point of this bitch besides having an excuse to have Rachael Leigh Cook guest star? Too bad this is who she had to play. She was just rude as hell with her snark, her bitchy little expressions and the way she mocked the kids- elementary school aged kids- she taught. As if it was beneath her grandiose idea of herself. How could they for one second think that somebody like Spencer- somebody who loves kids, loves to teach and to learn and values education as much as Spencer- could ever like somebody like her? They were already having to cram way too much into too little space that last season. It was already a shit show. What the fuck was the point of adding her only to never bring her back? I mean, good call there at least because she sucked. I can only assume Spence realized how much she sucked and ditched her ass. She was just a pointless waste of time and never should have been a thing. I'm glad Spence made out with Cat in front of her and I hope it chapped her ass that he never kissed her that way. Glad her family didn't die, but she and they can all fuck all the way off down the road.

Thanks for sticking this one out if you did.

[cece693]

A Bright Place in the Dark

pairing: spencer reid x gender neutral reader tags: first impressions, reader sees Spencer as innocent and too good to be true, pre-relationship, all knowledge of this fandom comes from Tumblr fics and personal opinion, not fact checked

By the time you arrived at the Behavioral Analysis Unit, you were practically reciting facts about Dr. Spencer Reid in your head:

Over 187 IQ

An eidetic memory

A heart too big for a world as harsh as this

Those whispers, however, never prepared you for how human he would be. No legend of brilliance or office gossip about his quirks ever quite captured the softness in his eyes, or the halting way he spoke when he was nervous.

Your first day at the BAU felt like entering another planet. The bullpen buzzed with conversations about suspects, horrifying details of cases, and the flickering overhead lights seemed to spotlight every anxious beat of your heart. And then you saw him—a lanky figure hunched over a precarious tower of files, as though he didn’t know quite how to balance them against his chest.

You caught him looking around, scanning for an empty spot to set the documents down. Except he chose the worst possible moment to shift his weight; the top of the stack slid, pages scattered in every direction.

Dr. Spencer Reid froze, a rush of panicked words tumbling out of his mouth. “Oh no—sorry, sorry. I’m usually not this clumsy. Statistically, people trip at least—”

You bent down to help, offering a friendly grin. “Hey, it’s okay. It happens.”

He paused, as though your small kindness were a revelation. Slowly, he lifted his gaze, and for a split second, you glimpsed the vulnerability behind those gentle hazel eyes. When you straightened up with an armful of papers, you noticed the shy half-smile tugging at Spencer’s mouth. His cheeks had gone just a little pink, and he quickly busied himself by reorganizing the files.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, more subdued than before. “I’m Spencer Reid, by the way…Dr. Spencer Reid. You must be the new profiler—”

“That’s me,” you replied, introducing yourself. “It’s my first day, so I guess we can both say it’s a learning curve.”

He nodded, an anxious laugh slipping out. Then, as if remembering his role, he cleared his throat and motioned to the files. “These are some old case studies. We…we keep them around for reference, though I try to digitize them in my spare time.”

“Sounds fascinating,” you said. And you meant it, curiosity tugging at you like an impatient child. “I’d love to take a look sometime.”

His eyes flicked from the pages to you, wide and a little uncertain. Then, almost imperceptibly, relief smoothed the lines of tension on his forehead. “Sure. That’d be…good. Really good.”

In the following days, you quickly learned that your new job was every bit as tough as everyone warned. Each morning, the team assembled to face tragedies as mind-boggling as they were gruesome. Photos, crime scene details, and psychological autopsies filled your laptop.

Amid all the darkness, there was always him, moving through the chaos with a gentle sort of efficiency. Spencer held a wealth of knowledge in that brilliant mind, quoting statistics, classical literature, and obscure references effortlessly. Yet, you noticed how he spoke as though he feared his own intellect would push people away.

You tried to reach out, offering a smile or a small joke whenever he started rattling off something about “differential equations” or “geospatial profiling.” Each time, his shoulders would relax a fraction, as if he was grateful someone was listening rather than judging.

It wasn’t long before you started working late alongside him. You’d catch Spencer hunched over his desk, stacks of books and case reports spread in front of him, a half-full mug of coffee growing cold.

“Hey,” you said one evening, easing into the adjacent chair. “Mind if I sit?”

He lifted his gaze, blinking as if coming up for air. “Oh, of course, sure.”

Silence settled, filled by the low hum of the overhead lights and the distant clatter of a cleaning cart in the hallway.

“How do you handle it?” you asked, your voice quiet. “All the darkness?”

Spencer leaned back, momentarily lost in thought. “I—well, I guess I try to understand it. If I can figure out why someone does something terrible, maybe it’ll help prevent the next tragedy. At least that’s what I tell myself.” He gave a self-conscious shrug, eyes darting away. “I’m not sure if that’s the best answer.”

You offered a gentle smile. “It’s an honest one. And I think that’s what matters.”

As weeks turned into months, you and Spencer found yourselves gravitating toward each other. Lunchtime in the break room became a quiet sanctuary, where his commentary on quantum theory or historical murder cases was punctuated by the sandwich you’d share half with him because he often forgot to pack lunch.

He’d fret, insisting you didn’t need to share, but you found a simple joy in seeing his face relax when he finally took a break. Sometimes, a ghost of a smile would linger at the corners of his lips afterward, as if he was unused to anyone caring enough to notice his hunger.

You don't know exactly when your interest in the doctor turned into adoration, but perhaps it could be pointed back to when the team was out on a case and you were stuck trying to piece together a spree killer’s timeline. You hit a wall and decided to take a short break—heading to the building’s small courtyard.

Outside, you found Spencer leaning against a concrete pillar, lost in his own world. The afternoon sun gleamed off his hair, painting him in soft yellows and gold. For a moment, you hesitated. He looks so peaceful. But then he glanced up, and the sun highlighted the hope in his eyes. He waved you over.

“Hey,” you said quietly, sidling up next to him.

“Hey,” Spencer replied, his voice warm.

You stood together, the hush of traffic and a distant bird cawing filling the space between you.

“I was thinking about that timeline you mentioned,” he began without prompting. “If the unsub is traveling by bus, then the times might not match traditional driving estimates, and—” He stopped himself, a self-conscious smile forming. “Sorry. Work brain doesn’t really shut off.”

You laughed softly. “Don’t apologize. It’s actually pretty helpful. I think I’ll re-examine the public transit schedules as soon as we go back inside.”

His gaze lingered on you for a long moment. Then, so softly you nearly didn’t hear, he said, “I’m glad you’re here, you know…with the team. With me.”

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you hoped he couldn’t see it in the bright afternoon light. “I’m glad, too.” Silence settled, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Sometimes no words are needed to enjoy someone's company—so, as you stared at nothing in particular, you developed the courage to ask Spencer out.

“I, uh, know it’s not exactly typical, but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to grab dinner sometime? Outside of the office, I mean.”

The request hung in the air. Spencer blinked, seeming to mentally catalog the entire situation. You could almost see the wheels turning behind his eyes.

“I-I’d like that,” he finally answered, voice a little too fast. A delicate pink brushed across his cheeks.

You had heard the rumors. You’d been told about his genius and his gentle heart—how he deserved the world, though the world often failed to deserve him in return. Watching him now, shoulders slightly hunched as he mentally rehearsed how to do something as simple as dinner, you couldn’t help but think:

If the world won’t cherish him…maybe I will.

He deserved that much, at least. And from the way Spencer offered you a shy smile—a small piece of his guarded heart—you knew he was willing to let you try.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Who I write for :

Criminal Minds

- Emily Prentiss

- Aaron Hotchner

- Spencer Reid

- Jennifer Jareau

- Alex Blake

- Elle Greenaway

- Derek Morgan

- Penelope Garcia

- David Rossi

- Jason Gideon

- Kate Callahan

- Ashley Seaver

Marvel

- Natasha Romanoff

- Yelena Belova(Platonic only)

- Kate Bishop

- Wanda Maximoff

- Carol Danvers

- Tony Stark

Brooklyn 99

- Rosa Diaz

- Amy Santiago

- Gina Linetti

Percy Jackson

- Annabeth Chase

- Hazel Levesque

- Piper McLean (Female reader only)

- Nico Di Angelo (Male reader only)

- Percy Jackson

- Frank Zhang

- Leo Valdez

- Jason Grace

- Reyna Ramirez-Arellano (Platonic Only)

- Will Solace

- Thalia Grace (Platonic only)

- Clarisse La Rue

AGGGTM

- Pippa Fitz-Amobi

- Ravi Singh

- Cara Ward

- Naomi Ward

Wednesday

- Wednesday Addams x reader

- Enid Sinclair x reader

Please request something! Anything really :)

[omg-hellgirl]

Spencer Reid and Ashley Seaver's anguish over an unexpected pregnancy and the fear of each of them passing on an unwanted gene to the child, aka schizophrenia and psychopathy, would be interesting to read.

[shipperoffanonships]

FANON SHIP WAR!

[sherrysgirl]

heather

spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

getting spencer’s sweaters is great, but seeing spencer give his sweater to someone else isn’t.

cw : jealous slightly insecure reader, reader isn’t ashley seaver’s biggest fan…

word count : 544

note : if there was an award for dropping short drabbles you’ve written in the span of twenty minutes but don’t even like, i’d be the winner. i didn’t proofread this and english isn’t my first language but enjoyyyy maybe??? happy belated third of december btw!! did anyone celebrate????

you loved the jet. it was spacious, the seats and the couch were comfortable, the little coffee / tea corner had expensive delicious coffee you definitely couldn’t afford on your own. everything about the jet was perfect except for the fact that you always got cold.

spencer always noticed that. it would take you approximately ten minutes until you started to shiver lightly. he didn’t understand why you never just wore an extra layer when you were quite literally freezing. he’d asked you about it plenty of times but you always dismissed him. a casual “it’s fine. i’m not that cold” would escape your lips. so instead of going back and forth with you, he secretly started packing an extra sweater of his for you. it’s not like you could ever say no to him. and that’s how during almost every jet trip, he’d offer you a sweater whenever you started feeling cold.

well, that was until ashley’s arrival…

she was amazing, beautiful, smart, young and so much more. truly a sight for sore eyes, you thought.

ashley was a sweetheart. everyone in the team adored her. even jj, who wasn’t even part of the team anymore, loved her. so, you were beyond confused on why you couldn’t warm up to her yet. maybe it’s because she’s somehow supposed to replace jj? or maybe because she’s landed a permanent job at the bau right after her graduation? you didn’t know.

but then it clicked.

you sat across from spencer on the jet, right next to emily. the second she had seen you at the bullpen she insisted that you sit next to each other on the jet as she had pictures she wanted to show you. jj had sent her adorable pictures of henry during their vacation. both you and emily had stared at the screen in complete awe, noting that after this case, you’d definitely have to visit jj and her son.

engrossed in your conversation with emily, you almost didn’t notice ashley walking by and sitting next to spencer. you tried your best faking a smile at her. the blonde started talking to spencer about whatnot. just the mere sight of her and the man you’ve loved for so long talking was enough to get your brain to shut down.

you excused yourself and got up to get a cup of coffee. and that’s when you saw it.

“is it always this cold in here?”, ashley asked with a giggle.

rhetorical question, of course.

spencer rummaged through his satchel, “oh! i have an extra sweater, if you’d like.”

she gladly accepted the sweater and thanked him.

you turned around, your eyes focusing on the drink you were making. you take a few sips once it’s done, trying to ignore that whole interaction you just witnessed.

“looks like you’re not the only one getting sweaters from pretty boy anymore.”, derek pointed out in a mere cocky whisper as he passed by you.

you rolled your eyes at him in an attempt to look unbothered, but you were bothered. you were so insanely bothered, you could’ve lost your mind.

he packed that sweater for you, but he gave it to her.

now you know why you hated her.

[gold-onthe-inside]

hemkärlek

based on: Request (only if you’re not already planning to include it in the main story): Seaver discovering Spencer and Piper are dating by popping up to Piper’s place for advice/council and finding Spencer there. Or some other similarly amusing reveal. Bonus points if you can incorporate the other BAU members. who: spencer reid x oc (dr piper bishop) set: season 6 (not part of main series)

Ashley let out a breath, walking up to the house, a pit in her stomach and her chest tight as she approached the door. She should have called first, probably, definitely, and almost turned around right there and then. She didn't even really know Piper that well, hadn't even really talked since the woman had directed a gun at her attacker on the first case she consulted with them for, or this last case where she finally got to see her in action as a profiler - the way she had made those instant connections, the way she was on the same word as, never mind the same page as everyone else on the team while Ashley was still stuck on the table of contents.

She shook her head, turning back to the door, and rung the bell. A woman in her late 60s opened the door with short white hair and sharp blue eyes. "Can I help you?" she asked and Ashley hesitated, frowning and checking her memo where Penelope had scribbled down an address for her.

"Sorry, I was looking for Dr Bishop?" Ashley asked, looking at the woman. "Is this the right address?" she asked, showing the woman the scrap of paper.

"Depends on who you are," the woman said, strangely evasive for a woman of her age.

Ashley fiddled in her bag for her trainee badge, showing it to the woman. "I'm Agent Trainee Ashley Seaver? I-I work with Dr Bishop." The woman took the badge suspiciously, giving it a onceover, then looking over Ashley.

"She's in the flat upstairs," the woman said, stepping aside to let Ashley in and showing her where to take her shoes off. "I'm Enid, by the way."

"Pleasure to meet you," Ashley replied automatically as Enid guided her up to the apartment and opened the door.

"It doesn't go there!" Piper cried, kneeling by Spencer with a instruction guide as he tried to put the cabinet together in her living room, the couch and armchairs pushed to the back.

"It… just… needs… a push," he grunted, his sleeves rolled up and Piper sighed, sinking her head into her hand.

"I thought you had a PhD in engineering," Piper chided and Spencer gave up, the whole cabinet falling apart the second he let go.

“A Ph.D. in engineering doesn’t mean I’m a carpenter,” Spencer retorted as the cabinet falls apart, causing her to huff a laugh. He sits back on his knees as he glances over at Piper. “Where did you get this thing?” he asks, frowning, and then looking up to find Enid and Ashley at their front door. Piper frowned, following his gaze to the door and stood up.

"Ashley?" Piper asked, approaching the two.

"Um…" Ashley frowned, looking between Piper and Spencer, wheels turning. "Am I interrupting?"

Piper glanced back at the mess on the floor. "Well, it's not like we're getting anywhere," she said, shrugging. "Come in."

Enid took her cue to go back downstairs and Piper padded towards the kitchen while Ashley closed the door behind her gingerly, like she had broken their bubble. "Can I get you something?" Piper asked. "Coffee? Tea?"

"Uh…" Ashley was completely disoriented, obsessed with how Spencer was haphazardly putting the nuts and bolts back into a box.

"Piper makes great coffee," Spencer whispered to her, nodding.

"Coffee, I guess," Ashley said, walking over like she was walking on thin ice. "Do you… usually do this kind of thing?"

"Clearly not," Spencer said, running a hand through his hair as he stood up. "You'd think a collective of 7 PhDs would be able to put together a cabinet."

Piper emerged holding mugs of coffee for Ashley and Spencer. He took a sip of his and frowned instantly. "This is decaf," he complained, his nose scrunched and Piper scowled at him.

"You've had like three cups today," she told him, and Ashley obscured her snicker at Piper's chiding tone by strategically sipping her coffee, then making a pleased noise by the taste.

"This is really good," Ashley said and Spencer beamed proudly.

"Right? She puts cardamom in it, which has phytochemicals that have anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties," Spencer said rapidly. "In fact, Ayurvedic medicine says that it helps purify the liver--"

"Spence, angel, I don't think she came here to learn about cardamom," Piper said, gently placing her hand on his arm, and Ashley caught the gesture, feeling sick. How had she not been able to tell? Spencer winced, catching himself.

"Sorry."

Piper looked at Ashley apologetically. "Sorry about the mess. We can talk in the kitchen," she offered and Ashley nodded, following Piper to the kitchen, Spencer trailing behind them with his decaf coffee. Piper sat on the stool at the kitchen island. "So, what brings you around?"

Ashley hesitated, looking back at Spencer who was leaning against a counter, sipping his coffee. "Uh, sorry, I just um…" She swallowed. "I feel like I'm missing something. Are you two…?"

Piper frowned, glancing at Spencer, then back at Ashley. "You didn't know?"

Ashley shook her head. "I knew you were undercover as a couple, but I didn't think… How long have you been together?"

"Uh…"

"2 years, 5 months and 19 days," Spencer said before Piper could answer and she pursed her lips.

"That long," she echoed and Ashley shook her head.

"I feel like such an idiot. I should have seen it sooner," she said, her face despairing and Piper fretted over her expression.

"In your defence, we do try to keep the couple thing under wraps at work-"

"Although, Derek figured it out the week after, and everyone else knew-"

"Because Penelope told them," Piper said, looking at him, an expression he knew well from interviews with victims - to let her take the lead and he nodded, sipping his coffee instead and Piper looked at Ashley. "What's bothering you, Ashley?"

Ashley looked up, frowning. "How did you know?"

Piper clicked her tongue, shrugging. "Let's just say, people don't tend to show up unannounced at my front door unless they're in crisis."

Ashley sighed, rotating her coffee absently. "I guess… I'm stressed out about keeping up with everyone. I mean, I'm learning at the Academy, and studying what I can, but… I don't know, I just want to be as good as you guys are."

Piper nodded. "I know how you feel," she said and Spencer frowned.

"You do?" he asked, squinting at her and Piper looked at him, raising a brow, and he shut up instantly.

"I started out in fieldwork a lot like you," Piper said, looking at Ashley again. "After 9/11, they needed as many psychologists in the field as possible. I was working with people who had twice my experience and were twice my age. So, I get how it feels to be playing catch-up."

"How did you get past it?" Ashley asked, looking at Piper eager and the woman took an uncomfortable breath.

"Not well. Unfortunately, the only way out is through. You come at it from a place of wanting to soak up as much knowledge and skills you can, because that's why you're here, right? To learn?" Ashley nodded and Piper continued. "Besides, I can tell, you're a natural at being able to regulate another person's emotions. I promise, you would not be where you are if you didn't deserve it."

"I guess, I kinda feel like I'm only here because of Rossi," Ashley said, sounding uncomfortable and Piper shook her head.

"Nepotism only gets you so far. It got your foot in the door, sure, but Hotch wouldn't have let you stay on if he didn't think you deserved it," Piper said.

Ashley let out a breath, nodding, seeming more assured. "Thanks," she said.

"Not a problem," Piper said and Ashley slipped off the stool.

"I'll let you guys have your Saturday back," she said, apologetic, wiping her hands on the back of her jeans and Piper nodded, getting up to walk her to the door. "By the way, you guys are totally perfect together," she said. "I ship it."

Piper laughed, opening the door for Ashley, and Spencer frowned, mouthing the words 'ship it' with a question on his face. "I'll explain later."

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

What Happens At Home: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: A new team member joins due to her traumatic past, hoping that she can give some insight before more people are killed. Meanwhile, you get the house ready for Spencer's mother on Christmas weekend.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"When we were children, we used to think that when we grew up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability, to be alive is to be vulnerable." - Madeleine L'Engle

Instead of grabbing coffee from the break room, you decide on a piping hot cup of hot chocolate. Emily brought in a machine a few weeks ago and it's been popular among the team. Winter is here, Christmas is this weekend, and the weather outside is freezing cold. You cover the entire surface of your hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows before capping the paper cup. Spencer walks in with his coffee and greets you with a kiss.

"Thank you for suggesting to bring my mom here. I really miss her."

"Of course. I miss her, too."

You two walk together to the briefing room where the rest of the team is besides Rossi. As soon as you sit, Hotch begins.

"Three women were murdered inside a gated community in southeastern New Mexico in the last two months. Marjorie West was strangled in her home in the middle of the night while her family was out of town. They found her the next morning. Jill Long was strangled in the laundry room while her husband and sons were camping in the backyard. Last night, Aubrey Jacobs was killed in her home office while her daughter and husband were asleep in the house."

"Having the house occupied is as high-risk as it gets. He's fearless. The proximity and the chance he might get caught could be part of it for him."

"You said gated community. I'm assuming that means security?" Spencer asks.

"A small security staff and perimeter cameras where everything's recorded twenty-four-hours, and no one has entered or left the compound since last night except residents. It looks like the unsub is part of the community. The local Detective says that demographics, general makeup, and socioeconomic status of the residents are essentially the same."

"That's going to make a profile difficult," Emily sighs.

"Unless we examine a different set of parameters."

"What different parameters?"

"Rossi's working on that right now."

Rossi is at the FBI academy recruiting one of the newbies, Ashely Seaver. She has a past that might help with the case at hand even though she isn't ready for field work. She has yet to graduate so she'll only be an informative instead of an agent, and she agrees to come help. Rossi may have fibbed a bit to get her to help, but she can back out at any time if she needs to. Rossi brings her back to the BAU to meet with Hotch before meeting the rest of the team.

"Do you remember Agent Hotchner?" Rossi says when they enter his office.

"Yes, of course," she smiles and shakes his hand.

"I told Ashley she may be able to help us with this case."

"What's the case about?"

"We have an unsub who manages to live in close proximity to his victims without raising an alarm. That we've seen before. What's new here is what the local police are telling us about the community itself. Demographically, everyone's basically the same. Most of the parameters we would look for to build a profile seem to exist in most of the men. We thought if the unsub has children, and the statistics tell us that he probably does, would the children exhibit certain specific behavior?"

"So, this isn't about my academic scores?" she asks Rossi.

"No."

"Great. Give me fifteen minutes. I have a change of clothes in the car."

She turns to leave but Hotch stops her.

"Agent, we're not detailing you to the unit. We want to ask you some questions," Hotch says.

"Right," she nods. "I see."

"Do you have some concerns?"

"I want to help, and I know that I can, but I don't think I can tell you what to look for without seeing the families myself."

"Do you understand that you go only as a consultant on this one case?"

"I understand."

"You're to do nothing without another member of the team present."

"Yes, sir."

"This won't be easy, Ashley. It may trigger some extremely painful memories," Rossi says gently.

"I appreciate the concern, but when your father kills twenty-five women before you're a teenager, painful memories don't need a trigger. They just are."

She leaves the office and Rossi looks at Hotch knowingly.

"You know Y/N is going to know who she is immediately, right?"

"I know."

Hotch calls you into the office, and you enter right when Penelope does.

"I've notified the primary Detective and the Oak Tree Hills security office of your requirements. You should know that that security office is particularly efficient," she informs.

"Except someone's killing people right under their noses. Call me old-fashioned, but that doesn't seem like efficient security."

"Yeah. I'm running background checks on all the male residents, too."

"God. Check wider in New Mexico for similar crimes and stranglings in occupied dwellings."

"Wish you, command me. I shall call you the moment I have anything to contribute or an overwhelming desire to speak to my beautiful Derek Morgan, whichever comes first," she grins.

"Let me guess who'll win," Rossi chuckles.

"Mm-hmm and you'd be right. I bid you adieu and safe travels, mon ami."

Penelope leaves and Hotch looks at you.

"The only reason I'm telling you this is because you'll figure it out on your own, and I don't want you saying anything about it unless she wants to talk about it." You look confused but allow Hotch to continue. "Ashley Seaver is going to be called on this case as an informant, but her last name isn't Seaver. It's Beauchamp."

"As in Charles Beauchamp? The Redmond Ripper?"

He killed twenty-five women before he was caught by Rossi and placed in prison for life. He killed those women all with a daughter under the same roof. How he managed to do that without tipping her off is beyond you. Maybe she knew but if she didn't... You can't imagine if it came out your own father was out there killing people without you knowing. No, he's not capable of something like that.

"Yes."

"Oh, wow. Um, I won't say anything. What about the rest of the team?

"They're going to need to know, but as far as how she wants to tell them, I thought we might play that by ear. I assume that she goes by Seaver because she doesn't want people to know who she is."

Ashley walks into the bullpen where Spencer, Derek, and Emily are, and the three of you walk over to them just as Ashley gets to them.

"Ashley, welcome. Agent trainee Seaver, they are supervisory special agents Prentiss, Morgan Y/N, and Dr. Reid."

"I've heard a lot about this team," she smiles.

"I hope it was all good," Derek chuckles.

"Very, sir."

"Anything specific? I mean about me in particular."

"Oh, please, don't encourage him," Emily rolls her eyes and Derek laughs.

"Agent Seaver is on loan to us from the academy while she's in remedial training with an injury."

"Concussion," she says before anyone can ask. "Hand-to-hand got a little out of control."

"I was remediated in the academy also," Spencer says.

"What was your issue?"

"What was my issue?" Derek snickers. "Marksmanship, physical training, obstacle course, Hogan's Alley, you know, pretty much everything that wasn't technically book related. They ultimately had to make exceptions to allow me into the field."

"He's very valuable to the team," you say and smile at Spencer.

"Agent Seaver's going to accompany us to New Mexico as a consultant," Hotch explains.

"On?"

"She has a unique perspective," Rossi answers.

"They don't know?"

"We weren't sure how you wanted to tell everyone."

"Seaver's not my original last name. It's my mother's maiden name. Mine used to be Beauchamp. My father is Charles Beauchamp."

"As in the 'Redmond Ripper' Charles Beauchamp?" She nods to Spencer. "He killed twenty-five women over ten years in rural North Dakota. I think that you caught him, right, Rossi?"

"Hotch was on that team, too."

"Based on her life experience, we were hoping that Agent Seaver might recognize something in the family dynamics inside the community that could be helpful. We have a plane waiting."

Ashley and Rossi leave but the rest of the team stays in the bullpen.

"Her father was a serial killer? That's definitely a different set of parameters," Emily says.

"I don't want her presence to get us sidetracked. It's a long shot that she's gonna see anything helpful. We work it like any other case."

"You got it." You and Spencer catch up with Ashley and Rossi in the elevator. "Hey, wait up. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I'm an empathetic psychic. I don't know if you believe in that sort of thing or not, but you're probably going to see me do stuff that's not exactly normal."

"I believe anything is possible."

"Good," you smile.

"She's the real deal," Rossi says.

"Since we're going to New Mexico, I think I'm going to fly from there to Vegas to pick up my mom. I already asked Hotch, and he said that was fine. We'll come down after that."

"Awesome," you smile.

The flight to New Mexico was uneventful; you mostly slept the whole time. After landing, the team takes two cars to the gated community, and you're greeted by security as soon as you pull up.

"ID, please."

Hotch presents his badge. "Agent Hotchner, FBI."

The gate is opened but Hotch doesn't get far since another man walks to the car.

"Harvey Brinkman, chief of security for the development. Detective Ruiz is in the model home. Park on the right."

"Thanks."

Hotch parks and Rossi parks right next to him before everyone files out of the cars. Spencer and Ashley were in Rossi's car so you're not sure what they're talking about, but you know Spencer is geeking out on her.

"The fact of the matter is, 'Beam me, up, Scotty' was never actually said. The closest they ever got was, 'Scotty, beam us up' in The Gamesters of Triskelion and The Savage Curtain episode, but interestingly enough--"

"Reid, come on," Derek cuts him off. "Give it a rest."

Spencer shuts his mouth, and you put a hand on his shoulder as a way to comfort him. You love his ramblings but there is a time and a place for it.

"Detective Ruiz?" Hotch asks when he walks into the model home.

"That's right. Call me Felix."

"I'm Agent Hotchner. These are agents Morgan, Prentiss, Y/N, Dr. Reid, Rossi, and Seaver."

"Thanks for coming. As your tech requested, we moved everything from the station right here into the model home."

"Agent Prentiss and I would love to take a look around and get a feel for the area," Derek says. "We'd like to see the latest crime scene, too, if that's possible."

"Of course. Let me just get everybody situated and I'll walk you over there."

"We can find it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's no problem."

You want to get a feel of the area and the residents, but you'll do that later. If the unsub lives in this community, then you have no doubt you'll be able to point him out. His energy will be all over the crime scene, and that means his house will be too. You look out the window and notice the neighbors standing outside with their eyes on the model home.

"They sure aren't the 'mind your own business' types," you mutter.

"How come none of them have seen our unsub?"

"He might not live here. Just a possibility."

Derek and Emily leave, and you look at Ashley when you feel a wave of uneasiness come from her. She's nervous. Unsure.

"Are you okay?" you whisper.

"Yeah, fine."

Felix shows you the boards he brought over from the police station. "These are the evidence boards. As you can see, we're still in the process of moving in. I didn't think the whole neighborhood needed to see the photos."

"You're right. It's a lot of work, Detective."

"Yeah, well, I'm not just the primary Detective. I also live in the community."

"Really?"

"Yeah, three blocks on the left. My wife thought it would be an excellent place to raise the kids. She's changed her opinion in the last couple of months. I hope you don't mind, but I also worked up a cursory profile."

"You did?" Hotch asks, surprised.

"Yeah. I took an FBI seminar on serial crime in Albuquerque. Twice."

"Okay, let's see what you've got so far."

"Alright. He's organized. He took everything to the scene and left nothing behind which means he lives with a spouse or some kind of long-term partner. Has a steady, skilled job. Physically, he presents himself as non-threatening, but he craves power and control so he may have a job or an activity that gives him that."

"Not bad," Rossi nods.

"Unfortunately, I just described sixty-four of the seventy-one men who live in the subdivision," Felix sighs.

With one phone call to Penelope, you're able to get information on all sixty-four suspects. You and Spencer are in the kitchen so you can talk to her without anyone else around.

"I just sent what is the whole kit and kaboodle on each of your sixty-four suspects. Nothing really stands out. They're all pretty plain."

"That's pretty much the main issue we're going to have here."

"Yeah. Vanilla doesn't make your job any easier."

Spencer looks at you. "No, it does not."

"So, um, how's it going with the agent whose father was a serial killer?"

"How do you know that?" you ask.

"I might have looked into someone's hidden background." You make a noise of surprise. "What? I am not gonna let some strange new person travel with my family and not find out who they are."

"She seems fine."

"She's nervous. I think it's about opening old wounds, but I think she'll be okay." Someone approaches you from behind. "We'll call you later."

"What was that about?

You turn to see the police chief, Harvey.

"Our technical analyst ran background checks on the suspects."

"Oh, I could have given you that."

"We typically gather our own intelligence. Our federal databases tend to have more detailed information."

"How do you know they're more detailed if you haven't seen ours?" he asks defensively.

"It's nothing personal, Chief," you say.

"You could have asked."

"Next time we will. Excuse us."

You grab Spencer's hand and drag him away from the head of security. He's not the unsub but he does come off a bit creepy. It's probably those sideburns. They're freakishly long.

"Has anyone vetted them?" Spencer asks Rossi.

"Garcia's doing a separate check on police and security staff."

"Why?" Ashley asks.

"Law enforcement and security are the kind of jobs that would attract this unsub. Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer, was a compliance officer in Park City, Kansas. Kenneth Bianchi, one of the Hillside Stranglers, worked as a security guard in California and Washington. Psychopaths love official jobs and uniforms."

"Did you interview every adult male in the community?" Hotch asks Felix.

"More than once. They're all digitized."

There's a bit of an edge to the detective's voice.

"Were all the interviews confrontational like this?"

"Is that wrong?"

"You didn't get much out of them, did you?"

"No. That's when I started thinking maybe I needed some help."

"All that stuff you said about BTK and the Hillside Strangler, it's all in your head?" Ashley asks Spencer.

You pull your eyes and ears away from Hotch and Felix to focus on Ashley and Spencer.

"I have an eidetic memory. Y/N has a photographic memory."

"So, you know everything my dad did, then?" Spencer nods. "I only know what I was told and what was in the papers. I don't have a lot of details."

"Details?"

"Agent Seaver." Their conversation is interrupted by Hotch. "There's going to be a community meeting tonight. We're going to all look for visual cues, but I want you specifically to concentrate on family interactions."

"Yes, sir."

"Cheif, we need to have a place to hold a town meeting."

"There's a church on the east side of the development."

"Will you have your men notify residents that there'll be a meeting there tonight at six? Stress that it's important but not compulsory."

"Yes."

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[blackbird-brewster]

CM Fanfiction on AO3

I'm a bit of a stats nerd, and I've been wanting to put this together for ages. The following are some statistics regarding Criminal Minds fanfiction of AO3. Do with this what you will, but if ever someone tries to tell me this fandom isn't misogynistic -- I will just point to this post.

I spent an abhorrent amount of time putting this together, hope it's interesting to other people. Please don't send me hate mail for my opinions.

Base Statistics

Total Fics Tagged Criminal Minds: 34,561

These stats were compiled by me on 20/06/23 via AO3's filtering system.

Note: These were taken at face value, meaning these numbers may not be exact. In order to get exact statistics, I'd have to stringently filter out things like mislabelled fics, spam, fics with multiple categories (to find pure slash, femslash fics), etc.

Tumblr will destroy the resolution of the graphs, just click to see full res :)

Fanfic statistics gathered from AO3, episode totals gathered from IMDB.

CM Fanfiction by Category

Most Popular Category: F/M (26.2%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 34,561

These totals weren't all that surprising, in a fandom that is largely obsessed with two men and no one else, I sort of expected this.

The only reason F/M has the largest amount of fics (vs M/M) is because 37% of all F/M fics are "Spencer/Reader". (More about pairings below)

If 'x reader' fics were excluded from the data, then the distribution would skew to: 34% M/M vs 24% F/M

Sorry, I just saw the 'other' category is the same colour as F/M on the graph. Other accounts for 2.3% of all fic categories

CM Fanfiction by Rating

Most Popular Rating: Teen and Up (30.3%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 34,561

I think it's interesting that the most popular ratings are Teen and General -- even though a huge portion of readers only read Mature/Explicit. There are absolutely incredible works that are rated Teen and General, and it's just a shame people don't read them as much as smut. That's probably the same in most fandoms though.

Top Relationships for Each Rating: General Audience: Spencer/Reader Teen and Up: Morgan/Reid Mature: Hotch/Reid Explicit: Hotch/Reid Not Rated: Spencer/Reader

It's no secret that this fandom worships Hotch and Reid above all other characters, but I think there's something to be said that a M/M ship dominates the Mature and Explicit ratings. Slash fic (M/M) has always been more popular than femslash (F/F) in pretty much any fandom, and the history of fetishization of mlm relationships in fanfiction (the fetishisation usually being written by cishet women, not talking about queer people writing queer fic) is always worth discussing.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Characters

Most Popular Character: Spencer Reid (19.9%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic:*indeterminate due to crossover (multiple characters per each fic)

No surprises here with the top three being the men who make up some of the most popular ships.

Notice how Jack Hotchner, a CHILD who was in 22 eps out of 300+ -- is featured in MORE fics than main characters (who were in multiple season) like: Luke, Matt, Tara.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 (BAU) Characters

Most Popular Character: Spencer Reid (20.5%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: *indeterminate due to crossover (multiple characters per each fic)

This one is filtered by BAU members only. Sorry, 'reader', this is about main characters only.

Notice how Gideon (45 total episodes, 2015 fics) and Elle (27 total episodes, 1371 fics) made the top 10 list even though characters who were on the show for YEARS missed out.

Main Characters not in the Top 10: (* denotes section chiefs. Bold denotes characters who appeared in more episodes than Gideon) *Erin Strauss (24 total episodes, 1361 fics) Alex Blake (48 episodes, 1190 fics) Tara Lewis (97 episodes, 1108 fics) Matt Simmons (49 episodes, 642 fics) Ashley Seaver (13 episodes, 279 fics) Kate Callihan (23 episodes, 247 fics) Jordan Todd (8 episodes, 130 fics) *Mateo Cruz (6 epsiodes, 88 fics) Stephan Walker (15 episodes, 66 fics)

All three men who didn't make the Top 10 are men of colour. Which is worth pointing out because the main reason Derek and Luke both made Top 10 is because they are popularly shipped with Reid. Outside of Morgan/Reid and Reid/Alvez -- I doubt they would have been tagged as much as they are.

Also worth nothing that Tara Lewis who appeared in 97 episodes, which makes her the EIGHTH highest billed character (above Luke, Gideon and Elle) -- doesn't even make the Top 10 most written about characters. She also happens to be the ONLY Woman of Colour on this list. Coincidence? Doubtful. She's also the ONLY canonically QUEER character -- and yet....even in the F/F tag she doesn't make top 5 (more about ships below)

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Relationships

Most Popular Pairing: Reid/Reader (24.5%)

Most Popular Character Ship: Hotch/Reid (18%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 20,873 out of 34,561 (*includes fics with multiple pairings tagged)

This was WILD to me. I knew that 'Spencer x Reader' fics (I grouped ones tagged 'reader' and ones tagged 'you' together for this graph) were popular but I wasn't prepared for how skewed this data was. I don't have much to say about it anything involving Reid tbrh

Only three out of ten top relationships DO NOT involve Spencer Reid.

For people who don't know: using a slash ( / ) to denote a pairing means the pairing is romantic, using the ampersand (&) to denote a pairing generally indicates a non-romantic relationship.

Notice the ONLY F/F pairing that made Top 10 was JJ/Emily (with only 10%)

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 M/F Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: Spencer/Reader (52%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 9741 (72% of the total F/M fics on AO3)

Look, I don't know what to say about this. It speaks for itself. This show had an incredible ensemble cast who were all integral to the show's success -- yet, the only character anyone cares about in the fandom is the generic white dudes. Misogyny at it's best.

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 M/M Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: Hotch/Reid (45%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 7870 (75% of the total M/M fics on AO3)

Again, no comment about the most popular ships

I was, however, surprised that Hotch/Rossi made Top 5

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 F/F Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: JJ/Emily (71%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 2927 (65% of the total F/F fics on AO3)

For people who don't know: using a slash ( / ) to denote a pairing means the pairing is romantic, using the ampersand (&) to denote a pairing generally indicates a non-romantic relationship.

It's not surprising that JJ/Emily dominate the femslash category. They have always been the main femslash pair in this fandom. However, they only make up 49% of all F/F pairings!

I was surprised to see that 'x reader' fics took 2 out of 5 slots on this one. And I was especially surprised that Emily/Penelope made top 5. (I mean it's only 148 fics, but there they are)

Again, note how Tara Lewis (a canonically sapphic character) isn't a part of ANY of the top 5 pairings, even though she was in 98 episodes. That's a travesty imo. Tara/Emily trails at about the 7th most popular F/F ship with a mere 115 fics

In Conclusion...

Most of this was to be expected. This fandom has always praised the male characters while pushing the women aside, so the amount of works focusing on Reid and Hotch wasn't that surprising.

I think it's interesting how people tend to throw Jemily shippers under the bus (broad statement made via my 18 years in this fandom), because Femslash is by far the smallest portion of the shippers in the entire fandom. People just hate women

Do with this information what you will. This was mostly compiled because I've always been curious, and also I think it serves as an important archival tool for the fandom.

Please don't send me hate mail for my opinions.

Word Count & Additional Tags Information Below Cut

CM Fanfiction by Word Count

About 52% of all CM fics (34,561) are under 5,000 words

This was a really fun one to do, and was mostly included because I was curious. I think it'd be worth getting even more specific by trying to work out the average word count for all fics under 5,000 words.

Hey, if you're a marathon author with long works -- look at YOU!! You're a very small percentage in this fandom, and as someone who prefers long-form fic -- I am personally thanking you for your dedication.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Addition Tags

Most Popular Tag: Fluff (21.7%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: *indeterminate due to crossover (multiple tags per each fic)

I honestly expected angst/whump/hurt/comfort to be first on this. I guess if you add up all the variations of those type of fics, they'd be top tag.

Obviously this one isn't ever going to be perfect, because tons of people either don't tag their fics, or they don't use the prescribed tags above. Still, I thought this was worth adding to the post.

For more stats please see my, [Tara Lewis Fic Stats Post]

[goldentournesol]

The Receptionist and the Profiler (Six)

Chapter Six: Lifted Burdens

(Spencer Reid x f!Reader)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

The word reverberated around her brain for days after she heard it. Her brain was mocking her and she knew it.

Girlfriend. Girlfriend. My girlfriend.

Over and over again.

A heartbroken Y/N went home that day to an extremely livid Penelope. Y/N was the one calming her down instead of the other way around.

“How could he be so stupid?! I mean, he’s a genius, but he’s still the stupidest person I’ve ever met! Oh my God, I’m gonna kill him! A girlfriend?! He’s out of his mind!”

And although Y/N agreed with every single word Penelope’d said, there was little she could do about it now. She had shown Ashley around just like she had with every other new agent. It would have been a lot easier to hate her if she wasn’t so...nice. You know, even though her father was a serial killer and all.

She was so normal. And Spencer seemed happy around her. That’s all she could ever ask for, right? So why was it still so painful every time the three of them were in a room together? Why was avoiding all the team members’ apologetic stares as they witnessed a moment between the couple turning into a sport? Well, she knew exactly why, but she didn’t really want to give that thought the time of day.

Derek was almost as livid as Penelope when he’d learned of the new relationship. It took everything in his power to not chew Spencer out.

Spencer, on the other hand, was convinced that this was the only way he’d ever get to get over Y/N. Besides, she’s married now, what’s everyone so upset for? Is his happiness too much to ask for? Although, he did find it odd that Y/N wasn’t wearing rings on any of her fingers. He would have thought that a newlywed wife would have been much more excited to show off her ring. It was also quite strange to hear that Anderson transferred to a different unit. But he stopped himself from thinking about her too much anyway. Stopped himself from thinking about how much her eyes stopped twinkling as much as they used to. Or how her smile always seemed a little less bright than he was used to.

Stop, Spencer. You have Ashley now. He reminded himself.

Ashley was a nice girl. They’d met a few times before they began dating. He first met her when Rossi took him to the Academy to speak with some of the recruits who were interested in joining the BAU. Then, after that, he’d ran into her while he was guest-lecturing at her university. She’d been taking extra classes to get her degree faster and ever since then, they’d kept in contact. They’d met again while Spencer was on his medical leave. He had practically begged Rossi to take him to any lectures. Despite being a homebody through and through, Spencer had had enough of sitting at home waiting for his knee to heal. He needed to get out of the house and do something. Ashley had been the one to suggest a date and Spencer was shocked to say the least, but he accepted. Who was he to deny a pretty girl a date when the love of his life was already married?

Coming back to work was exciting to say the least, even if he wasn’t authorized to go into the field yet. The rest of the team still had to go though, which made the bullpen kind of eerily quiet.

He tried to spend most of his time in Garcia’s batcave to be able to be a part of any video calls with the team, despite the fact that Garcia could barely look at him without wanting to crush the rest of his bones (it’s all in the name of love, she swears). Him being in Garcia’s cave made it practically impossible for Y/N to go in there as often as she normally would. She’d normally spend her entire breaktime with her, they’d chat, eat, and watch kitten videos on repeat. But now Dr. Genius was occupying her space there and it left Y/N sulking out in the empty bullpen. 

Now, Spencer wasn’t completely oblivious to the way the team was acting around him. He’d noticed a decrease in Penelope’s affectionate terms, he’d noticed Derek’s disapproving stares, even JJ was being short with him. Maybe it had something to do with him dating the new agent.

“Hey, Garcia?” Spencer asked from his seat next to her, he was currently going over a case file as she sorted through VICAP.

“Yes, Reid?” She asked, obviously not paying attention.

“Do you guys um, not like Ashley or something?” He asked tentatively, fiddling with his pen between his fingers. That got her attention because she turned in her chair and looked at him.

“What gave you that idea?” She asked with signature Garcia concern.

Spencer shrugged and pursed his lips together, “I don’t know, you’ve all just been acting super weird since I got back and every time I’m with her around you guys it’s super awkward.”

He saw Garcia take a deep breath and she slumped her shoulders, “No, Reid, we do like her a lot. I guess you can say we just weren’t expecting it. I mean, you’d just gotten shot and then came back with a girlfriend, it was kind of...surprising.”

“Why is it so surprising? Is it so surprising that someone actually finds me interesting?” Spencer almost scoffed, that had come out way meaner than he’d intended.

“No, of course that’s not what I meant, you know that!” She exclaimed, tears already threatening her eyes, “It’s just...we all thought it would...y’know, take you a while to get over Y/N.” She tiptoed around what she really wanted to say. Spencer held back a roll of his eyes.

“Well, I am. So...so you can all stop being so weird. Besides, what does it matter how long it takes me to get over her? She’s married now, remember?” Spencer said, not even trying to hide the bitterness behind his voice.

Garcia’s face drained of all emotion all at once, “What?”

Spencer analyzed her expression before shrugging, “What?” He asked, feeling like he was missing something.

Suddenly, she began laughing in disbelief, “No, no, no. There’s no way.”

Spencer’s impatience and irritability grew, “What are you talking about?”

“Spencer! Y/N has been living with me for the past 3 weeks, you big idiot! I’m not saying anything more to you. You need to be talking to her right now, not me.” He felt as though his brain took ages to process what she’d told him.

“What...why would she be living with you?” He asked, his brain raking through all the possibilities. Garcia shook her head and refrained from speaking to him for the rest of the day. The dread set in as he realized.

He’d only seen Y/N at her desk whenever he had to leave the batcave for something. Most times she’d just send him a polite smile but they rarely engaged in any conversation. Her energy has been cut in half lately. 

Near the end of the day, Spencer trudged all the way to the kitchenette on his crutches to make himself a fresh cup of coffee. While reaching up to grab his mug, he tried to balance on his crutches but was still very wobbly. The result of his wobbliness was a shattered mug on the floor of the BAU’s kitchenette. Spencer winced at the sound and sighed a deep sigh.

He heard quick footsteps to where he was, “Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” Y/N stood in front of him, taking in the scene. He hadn’t heard her voice in days, it was the closest thing he’d felt to relief hearing from her again.

“I-I’m okay, I just dropped a mug while trying to make a cup of coffee.” He huffed frustratedly, upset that his mobility was compromised.

“Spence, next time you can just ask me or something--or someone else, it doesn’t have to be me, but I mean, I don’t mind doing it, if you asked.” She stumbled lightly on her words, cheeks reddening. Spencer smiled in response and nodded, touched at her kindness, “Now, step back and let me help you clean this up before someone gets hurt.” 

Spencer took a step back, the feeling of guilt overwhelming him as he watched her pick up the pieces and sweep the floor, “I’m sorry...about that. You didn’t have to help me out, thank you.”

Her face cracked a smile and Spencer felt the hunch in his shoulders loosen slightly, “Come on, it’s really nothing. How’s the um, knee?” She pointed slightly as she brought down another mug and began to fill it with coffee for him.

He sighed, “It’s not great. It hurts sometimes, like a lot, but it could have been worse I guess.” He shrugged, unable to keep his eyes off her captivating face. If he thought the science of reading microexpressions was interesting, reading her face was on a whole other level.

“I’m sorry, Spence, I really hope you feel better soon.” She spoke while adding the perfect amount of cream and sugar. He could tell that there was something weighing on her heavily as she seemed to drift further away as she watched the swirls of the cream dance in the mug.

“Thanks, Y/N/N. Um, what about you? Are you okay?” He asked, noting the way she immediately snapped back into shape almost as if she’d been caught slipping. Her facade was back on as if it hadn’t slipped for a nanosecond.

“Yeah! I’m great.” She smiled, not meeting his eyes, Spencer was about to ask about her current living situation when she spoke quickly, not leaving a pause, “How about I walk this back to your desk for you?”

“Um, you don’t have to do that. I can take it.” Spencer frowned, feeling already guilty enough. 

She giggled slightly, purposefully glancing at both his hands wrapped around his crutches, “Got a third hand I don’t know about, Spence?”

Spencer grinned in defeat, realizing what she meant, “Right…” He sheepishly began to walk back to his desk, is Garcia needed him she would call. She set the cup down and flashed him a smile before turning around and walking right back to her desk where she stood for a few seconds as if contemplating something then continued on in the direction of Garcia’s office.

“Garcia...I did something bad.” She confessed sheepishly stepping into the office and closing the door behind her, feeling somewhat like a child who hadn’t followed instructions. 

Garcia turned around in her chair, “Oh no, sweets, what happened?”

“I talked to him…” She flopped down onto the chair next to Garcia’s and pouted. Garcia couldn’t hide her smile and shook her head.

“And…?” Garcia looked expectantly at her.

“I don’t think I can ever get over him, Pen.” She suddenly frowned, picking at a frayed thread on her skirt.

“Well it’s not gonna happen overnight, sugarplum. Tell you what, why don’t we have a girls night out when the team gets back tonight. Maybe you could get a little lovin’.” Garcia added suggestively but Y/N rolled her eyes and huffed playfully in response.

“Yes to girls night, no to getting any “lovin’”, I don’t think my heart can physically handle anything else.”

“Ughh, alright. But um...there’s something you should know…” Garcia began.

“What is it?” Y/N pushed.

“So...you know how Reid is a certified genius and stuff...yeah...he’s quite possibly the most obtuse man I’ve ever met.” Garcia spoke.

“Yes, we know this, what is it, Pen?” Y/N asked, growing more impatient and anxious.

“I found out today that he had absolutely zero clue that you called off the wedding.” She said.

“What do you mean? How did he not know?” Y/N almost laughed at the absurdity.

“I guess no one told him. I think we all got so caught up with him getting shot that no one told him. Y/N, I’m telling you, up until 1:22 pm today, he thought you were married to Grant Anderson.” Y/N almost grimaced at the mention of her almost-husband.

“Well, what good is it now, he’s got little miss Ashley, who, by the way, IS NOT invited to girls’ night.”

But she was, of course she was. But it wasn’t just her, oh no, the entirety of the BAU had invited themselves out.

Everyone was stuck in their own little conversations around the table and Y/N felt like the odd one out. She looked up from her glass to see Rossi and Hotch deep in conversation, Derek and Penelope were in the middle of a story to which Emily and JJ were listening intently, and finally, the cherry on top, sitting directly across from her, was Spencer and his precious Ashley sitting practically glued at the hip with his arm around her shoulders. This was supposed to be a girls’ night out, and here Y/N was, feeling as miserable and insignificant as ever.

“I’ll be right back.” She said to no one in particular as she got up from the table, not that anyone noticed or heard. Spencer caught her leaving out of the side of his field of vision but Ashley quickly began telling him another story. Y/N had almost made it out of the bar when a familiar voice stopped her.

“Y/N, hey!” She turned to see none other than Anderson himself, looking quite put together and smiling very largely at her.

“Hey! Um, you out here too?” She smiled awkwardly and looked around for his friends.

“Yeah, came out for drinks with the guys from the White Collar Crimes division. Hey, you should come say hi.” He nodded his head towards a table full of men. Y/N glanced back at her table and saw that no one was looking for her so she shrugged and agreed.

She sat at the table and they all immediately brought her into the conversation, which made her mood lift significantly.

Had Grant always been this funny? She thought. As the guys settled down after their stories, Grant turned to Y/N.

“Can I get you a drink?” He offered nicely and she thought about it. She spent 11 years with this man, what could one drink possibly do? 

As they sat at the bar and chatted, Y/N noticed that Grant was being extra gentlemanly and just...nice.

“So, yeah, this is my life now.” He tilted his beer at the table they were at previously.

“They’re really nice guys, I’m glad you’re happy at work.” She smiled and nodded. Grant smiled back and studied her for a moment.

“Um, so...I was wondering...I mean, do you...are you still sure about all this?” He gestured between them, “It’s just that we get on so well and I um, really wouldn’t mind doing it all over again for you.” He ended his sentence with a genuine smile. 

Y/N’s smile faltered from a grin to a sad smile, her eyes flitting across the bar to look for Spencer, who had been keeping a close eye on her since she left in case she was in trouble. Their eyes met for a moment but nothing longer.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She nodded with finality. Grant followed her eye-line and felt some jealousy stirring up inside.

“Wait--is this all about Reid?” Grant stared at her incredulously.

“What?! No! Of course it isn’t. We weren’t working out, I already told you.” She defended quickly, but Grant was unconvinced. He gave her a look and she avoided his eyes, “Me and Spencer are just friends, I promise. We kissed like, once, it didn’t even mean anything.”

“You kissed? When?!” Grant’s eyes immediately filled with rage, looking across the bar.

“It doesn’t matter, look, can we just step outside for a second, get some fresh air?” She tried to reason with him but before she knew it, Grant was out of the bar stool and marching his way over to the BAU’s table. Y/N followed him quickly, trying to minimize any damages.

“REID!” Grant yelled in the small bar, quickly alerting all the agents. Spencer’s worried eyes flitted to Y/N’s.

In one swift motion, Grant lunged forward to attack a still-seated Spencer, eliciting a frightened yelp from Ashley next to him. 

But thankfully, Derek was much quicker than Grant and effectively took him down yelling, “What the hell is wrong with you, man?” 

Hotch and Rossi visibly relaxed upon watching Derek drag a livid Grant outside the bar. Mortified, Y/N grabbed her things and ran out, unable to meet any of their eyes. She flagged a cab and tried to stop the sobs from tumbling out of her.

Needless to say, the next month was the most awkward month she’d ever been through. Anderson was lucky he’d only been suspended without pay and not actually arrested for attempted assault of an FBI agent. She was downright mortified after what had happened at the bar and had fully retreated into herself, having finally moved out into her own apartment. Her pickiness ended when she realized she couldn’t stay with Garcia anymore.

 Even JJ had tried multiple times to set her up with one of Will’s friends, but Y/N always refused. Invites to bar nights were turned down and ignored. Her days consisted of waking up, going to work, coming back home, pretending to unpack but in reality avoiding it and ending up sitting on the couch with a pint of ice cream. The entire team felt for her, but Spencer especially felt for her as well as felt like an absolute moron. Not about what had happened at the bar, he didn’t really care if Anderson had beat him up, maybe he deserved it for making her feel this way. 

He watched curiously from his desk as Derek and Penelope walked through the glass doors of the BAU and stood at her desk. Penelope placed a heavy cookie tin on the raised part of the receptionist’s desk, the sound making Y/N look up from her computer.

“Morning, lil’ mama.” Derek grinned at her.

“Morning, D. Hey, Pen. What are you two up to?” Y/N’s gaze shifted between them suspiciously, “And what’s this?” She referred to the cookie tin.

“Oh, you know, just your favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies.” Garcia said with a smile. She watched as Y/N’s face lit up and immediately reached for the tin but Penelope held it securely.

“Uh-uh-uhh,” Derek taunted with a smirk.

“What? Why can’t I have the cookies?” Y/N huffed.

“These, my love, are a bribe and I’m not afraid to admit it.” Penelope said with a dramatic upturn of her chin.

“Oh no.” Y/N said.

“Oh yes.” Derek and Penelope both said. When Y/N rolled her eyes and was about to refuse, Penelope opened the top of the tin and Y/N took a peek and was hit by a whiff of heavenly chocolate chips.

“Fine, I will listen to your offer, but no promises.” She tried to stay strong even though the scent of the cookies was already driving her mad.

“We thought you might say that, which is why the entire tin is the bribe.” Derek said smoothly and Y/N’s jaw dropped.

“That is low, chocolate thunder!” She exclaimed and Spencer unwillingly smiled at her reaction.

“Anyway, you get this entire tin of cookies IF you agree to come to Rossi’s tonight.” Penelope offered and Y/N paused to think about it.

“I don’t know, Pen…” Y/N began.

“Come on, pretty girl, we miss you. You haven’t been out in ages.” Derek tried. Y/N’s heart pulled in her chest, maybe she did miss them too.

“Alright, fine, fine! I’ll come.” Y/N crossed her arms, trying to hide her smile as Derek and Penelope celebrated with a hug and a cheer, “Now, give me these!” She stood and grabbed a cookie, quickly taking a bite and visibly melting back into her chair from the taste.

“See? I told you that would work. No one can say no to my cookies.” Penelope whispered to Derek as they separated to begin their days.

She finally got some motivation to empty her bags and boxes when she returned to her apartment. It was mainly because she had to look for an appropriate outfit to wear. Ever since she’d moved, she’d been picking out her work clothes and pajamas from her suitcases, rewearing all the blouses and skirts that don’t need ironing, but it’s time to start taking care of herself again. Perhaps she felt like the clothes she was wearing didn’t belong to her anymore, she decided that she’d take herself shopping soon. After a relaxing shower, she picked out a black satin blouse and tucked it into a pair of fitting blue jeans.

Arriving at Rossi’s, she took a deep breath before ringing the bell.

“Ciao, bella!” Rossi graciously greeted, hugging her tightly, “We’re all so glad you could make it. Come on in, dinner is almost ready.” Rossi’s warm greeting eased the anxiety that bubbled in her chest. She was also greeted warmly by everyone in the room when she walked in. Penelope pulled her to sit next to her immediately.

“You look stunning!” Penelope complemented, making Y/N blush.

“I agree, you are looking hot as hell, mama.” Derek chipped in, making her laugh.

“Oh, hush, you two.” Y/N rolled her eyes and accepted the glass of wine that Emily offered her. She sipped on the wine, glancing at Spencer over the rim of the glass. He caught her eye and sent her a small smile. Y/N sent him a small one back before feeling herself shut down as everyone around her started conversations. She hadn’t noticed just how much she depended on Spencer for conversation in outings with the BAU until his attention was taken away. He would always stick to her side but now he had someone else’s side to stick to. With no Anderson and no Spencer, she really had to fend for herself. All night, she felt this indescribable weight on her shoulders. She did everything to try to get rid of it.

Soon, one glass of wine with dinner turned into two, then somehow turned into two rounds of whiskey. Before she knew it, she was up dancing with Derek and Penelope in the middle of the garden. They all had migrated into the backyard after dinner, where most people were chatting and eating dessert.

“Spencer, are you listening to me?” Ashley’s voice cut through Spencer’s daze.

“I’m sorry, what?” Spencer turned to her, he’d been caught up watching them dance, secretly wishing it was him she was grabbing onto for support instead of Derek. If it wasn’t for his damn knee, he would have joined them in dancing.

“I asked you if you wanted another slice of cake.” Ashley said, with a small smile on her face. She was nice, but she wasn’t her.

“Oh, no thanks, I’m good.” He shook his head and reverted his attention to the dancing trio. She was finally smiling, he hadn’t seen her smile that wide in so long. Her laugh was heard across the garden and somehow it seeped right into Spencer’s bloodstream. The familiar feeling of jealousy creeped up on Spencer as he watched her twirl herself in and out of Derek’s arms.

“See? Aren’t you glad you came out tonight?” Derek smiled as she twirled back against his chest. 

She nodded and smiled, a tad bit too tipsy, “Yeah, I guess.”

Penelope grinned and pulled her away from Derek, “Alright! Quit hogging her, I wanna dance with her too!” Y/N laughed and wrapped her arms around Penelope, burying her face in her shoulder.

“Thank you for everything, Pen.” They swayed and Penelope squeezed her harder.

“Anytime, sugarplum.”

“Alright, I’m just about beat. I need some dessert.” Y/N said, pulling back and dragging them both to where everyone was.

While eating dessert, she watched as Spencer continued to converse with Ashley and felt her blood boiling beneath her skin. Or maybe that was the alcohol, she wasn’t sure. It was like a cloak of clarity cascaded upon her. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of everyone and speaking loudly, loud enough to halt the ongoing conversations. With her eyes on Spencer, she only ever had her eyes on Spencer.

“Spencer, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we’re not even friends. You were my best friend, the closest person to me. I don’t know what happened, but I miss you. I don’t want things to ever be this weird between us again. And--and I shouldn’t have been with Grant, I know that. There were so many reasons not to marry him, but the truth is I was ready to ignore every single one until I met you. I asked myself why I waited so long to get married and I thought I just wasn’t ready but I knew I didn’t want him,” she paused to swallow, her tears blurring her vision, “I want you. And now you’re with someone else, and that’s fine. She’s wonderful and she makes you happy and that’s fine,” A few tears escaped and she realized what she was doing, “and I think I’m drunk and I shouldn’t be driving home so if someone could drop me off that would be great.” She dropped her plate on the table and quickly made it inside, leaving a group of agents completely stunned.

And just like that, the weight she’d grown so accustomed to seemed to dissipate from its place on her shoulders.

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[ssavanessa22]

3rd and final part of the BAU ✨yassified✨

Next we have Ashley sever

Next we have Jordan Todd

Next we have Kevin lynch

Next Grant Anderson

Then we have Diana Reid

And last but very not least we have Alex Blake

Thank you all for coming to my presentation the BAU ✨yassified✨

[cherylsblossom]

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER as DR SPENCER REID and RACHEL NICHOLS as ASHLEY SEAVER 

SEASON SIX, EPISODE TWENTY ONE — THE STRANGER

[childhoodshour]

Prentiss: Would you stop flirting with Reid? It’s making me uncomfortable

Morgan: What? I’m not even flirting with him! I’m just joking around with my homie

Prentiss: I’ll give you 20 dollars right now if you can go up to Hotch or Rossi and “joke around” with them like you do Reid

Morgan, shuddering: Okay, so what if I am flirting with Reid? Mind your business

[twoshotsofspencie]

the world is getting this fic whether it wants it or not. 

my drunk, loose synposis: hotch and haley adopt a kid they have as teenagers out. when her (adoptive) parents die, she seeks her birth family out. hotch is startled to discover that she’s been a fan of the bau since she was a teenager and is a recent graduate from the fbi academy. it begins in the middle of season 6, before the whole doyle thing. i’ll be posting the chapter sometime this morning or afternoon. the fic as a whole will be titled “wasteland”, since the hozier album radiates criminal minds energy imo.

[shipperoffanonships]

Protective JJ...

Title: The Talk

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Ashley Seaver

"Don't take this the wrong way since you're close but, JJ is creeping me out." 

Spencer looked up from where he was staring out the window. Ashley sat on the seat across him, drumming her fingers on the table nervously.

"What makes you feel that way?" Spencer asked. 

"I don't know It's just the way she looks at me. It's like she's analyzing me, profiling me."

"Does she know?" Spencer said quietly. "About..." 

Ashley shook her head. "No. The last thing I want is another reason for her to not trust me."

"Seaver." It was JJ. Ashley gulped. She turned.

"Yes?" 

But the other blonde just jerked her head to the direction to where she was sitting.

Ashley looked at JJ, who stared back at her with an impassive look on her face.

"Why am I here? Did I do something wrong?"

"You tell me, Ashley Beauchamp." JJ said. Ashley gripped the edge of the table so hard her knuckles turned white.

"What did you just say?" Ashley hissed. "You looked into my files?" 

"I need to know the people I surround myself with." JJ replied evenly. "In our line of work, trusting in the wrong person can get you killed."

Ashley scoffed. "You-"

"But you seem all right." JJ cut her off. "Now, I can see you and Spence are close."

"Spence?"

"Sorry, force of habit. You're together, yes? Don't bother denying it." JJ said.

Ashley nodded. "Yeah. Wait, did you-"

JJ laughed. "No, nothing like that. I have a boyfriend. He's in New Orleans." Then she sobered up.

"My point is, I know Reid like the back of my hand. When he loves a person, he gives them his all. He's loyal, sometimes to a fault. He's clearly head over heels for you, and he trusts you with his life, and not only in the field. Do not take that love and loyalty for granted. Never do anything that will break that hard-earned trust. Are we clear?" JJ said seriously.

"C-crystal." Ashley stammered, taken aback and surprised at the other woman's protectiveness. "I-I understand. I won't let him down."

JJ smiled. "Good. Now rest; we still have an hour and a half, and you look beat."

[literateish]

criminal minds characters in hogwarts houses

gryffindor

“you might belong in gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, their daring, nerve and chivalry set gryffindors apart”

chivalry, brave, daring, nerve, courage, determination, adventurous

derek morgan

jason gideon

elle greenaway

ashley seaver

matt simmons

hufflepuff

“you might belong in hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal, those patient hufflepuffs are true, and unafraid of toil”

diligence, loyalty, kindness, tolerance, dedication, fairness, patience, modesty

aaron hotchner

jennifer jareau

penelope garcia

luke alvez

ravenclaw

“or yet in wise old ravenclaw, if you’ve a ready mind, where those of wit and learning, will always find their kind”

wit, learning, wisdom, acceptance, intelligence, creativity, originality

spencer reid

david rossi

stephen walker

alex blake

slytherin

“or perhaps in slytherin, you’ll make your real friends, those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends”

ambition, resourcefulness, pride, determination, leadership, self-preservation

emily prentiss

tara lewis

kate callahan

———

these are all just my opinions, lmk what you think :)