#reid x seaver

[shipperoffanonships]

FIGHT ME-

The moment you realize that in terms of TV/movie 'ships, you're mostly into fanon rather than canon...

[gingerbread-in-july]

Under the cut lies my personal ranking of all of Spencer Reid's love interests, both actual and potential, from best all the way down to worst, plus a whole lot of unfiltered sassy commentary that nobody asked for. Then again, nobody asked for any of this, but my brain was just on one of its neurodivergent tangents. There's 11 total. Some of this- probably a lot of this- will piss some people off and I am truly sorry. I hope there's at least some other people out there who share my strong ass opinions.

1. Dorian Loker- I will never forgive these bitch ass writers for never following up on that storyline. He asked her out in Russian, for Christ's sake! One of the only times in the entire series he actually initiates a date with somebody. He complimented her coffee! For him, that may as well be a pickup line. He was finally moving on from Maeve. That was a huge fucking step. He was shy and unsure of himself, but he was clearly into her, he was flirting the best he could, and he fucking asked her out. Don't even get me started on him being into her enough to set aside his germophobia and touch her hand by the end of the episode. Or his gutted little expression when he realized he spoiled the book she was reading. They were adorable and they could have been everything. Of all the one-episode love interests, she's the one I'm most pissed at them for never fucking following up on. 

2. Ethan- They were not just friends. I read somewhere that Spencer was initially supposed to be bisexual. They might have scrapped that, but bi Spence still found a way. They for sure hooked up. For. Sure. The chemistry was just there. And I am not one of those weirdo bitches who are overly fetishistic toward m/m pairings. I'm too fucking gay myself to get off on two men together. But those two men for sure were a thing- and good for them. 

3. Austin the bartender- She was hot. They had chemistry. More chemistry than he did with his actual girlfriends. End of. 

4. Ashley Seaver- I know y'all hate her and that she wasn't technically a love interest. However, I guarantee that she would have been if they'd kept her around. They were definitely setting it up to be that way. And, you know what? They'd have been a damn cute couple. I'd have loved to see it. And no, the "sorry for asking" moment was not grounds to disqualify it. Everyone else said as bad or worse to him at some point. If you can ship him with a psychopath who drugged him, framed him for murder, got him falsely imprisoned and nearly killed, kidnapped and tried to kill his mother, and lied about r*ping him and getting pregnant? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can ship him with his fucking doctor who used her own loneliness as an excuse to violate all kinds of professional and ethical codes? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver. If you can, perhaps worst of all, ship J*id? You can ship him with Ashley fucking Seaver.

5. Lila Archer- I think their worlds were ultimately too different for them to work long-term, but I do think they would have made a sweet couple for a while. They would each give the other things that their worlds were lacking. They wouldn't have been endgame, but they'd have stayed good friends. Also, "bUt aMbEr hEARD" isn't the dunk you think it is. Johnny Depp is a rich, 60-something year old white man who is problematic as fuck in his own right- and he's never going to fuck you. 

6. Cat Adams- Do I want them to actually be together? No. Does she deserve him? Hell no. Would the people further down this list technically be better for him than her? Probably. But......the chemistry, y'all. The chemistry was there. Matthew and Aubrey just play far too well off of each other. 

7. Maeve Donovan- I didn't hate her, but she was just a vehicle to give Spencer more trauma. I don't think she was "the one," "the love of his life," or any of that other stuff some say. I don't think they'd have lasted if she'd lived. They didn't really know each other. She lied to him about having a whole ass fiancé she never told him about. God only knows what else he didn't know. He started out as her fucking patient, for God's sake. The ethical violations were out the ass. I don't think she'd have crossed those lines if she weren't feeling so vulnerable and isolated from having to hide from her stalker. At least, not if she's as smart as everyone claims she is. Everyone- including Spencer- only puts her on a pedestal because of the tragedy of her death and not knowing what could have been. What would have been had she lived......probably wouldn't have been all that great in the long run. 

8. Linda Kimura- I'll be honest, I don't recall a single damn thing about this woman. I forgot she even existed until I saw her pictured on a potential love interest compilation. While I don't recall them having any chemistry whatsoever, I'll still include her for the sole purpose of ranking her higher than the rest of these shit bombs. And speaking of bombs, that brings us to......

9. Dylan Einstein- For the life of me, I just don't understand why people go so hard for this pairing. It's like she was generated in a Mary Sue factory to fit some stereotype of what AI might imagine Spencer's ideal woman to be. Her last name is Einstein, for fuck's sake. I'd probably respect it more if they did just name her Mary Sue. They were trying too hard to present her as Girl Spencer. The bitch even wore a purple scarf! She also just came across as annoying and overly eager and seemed like she didn't really understand when to fuck off. She butted in too much while Derek and Spencer were trying to work. Some poster here said that the actress who played her shipped the character with Spencer. That is more than obvious in the way she plays her. It's like she read a bunch of Wattpad fic and decided to use the character to try for her Y/N moment. Can't blame a girl for trying, but that is one "love interest" I am glad was a one-off. 

10. JJ- What could I say that hasn't already been said? The J*id plot was painfully forced. Spencer has more chemistry with a fucking paperweight than he does with JJ. Do I love their friendship? Yes. Do I love watching Spencer interact with her kids? God, yes. But, he's Uncle Spencer, not Stepdaddy Spencer. The only way Spencer and JJ are more than friends is that they're found family. Will is an absolute saint of a husband. Fuck them writers for doing him dirty like that. Even pre-Will, Spencer and JJ just didn't have the chemistry like that. I'm glad they scrapped that bullshit early crush storyline after just one episode. Also, am I the only one who remembers Spencer being totally unaffected and not even giving half a shit when JJ finally came out to the team about being with Will? He said something along the lines of "We all knew already." He was so unbothered. No way in hell has he been "waiting for JJ" this whole time or whatever these clowns pulled out of their asses toward the end. Such a waste of a plot. Literally any other pairing would have made more sense. 

11. Maxine bitch ass Brenner- Here we are. Last and least. Even J*id was better than this shit. What the fuck even was the goddamn point of this bitch besides having an excuse to have Rachael Leigh Cook guest star? Too bad this is who she had to play. She was just rude as hell with her snark, her bitchy little expressions and the way she mocked the kids- elementary school aged kids- she taught. As if it was beneath her grandiose idea of herself. How could they for one second think that somebody like Spencer- somebody who loves kids, loves to teach and to learn and values education as much as Spencer- could ever like somebody like her? They were already having to cram way too much into too little space that last season. It was already a shit show. What the fuck was the point of adding her only to never bring her back? I mean, good call there at least because she sucked. I can only assume Spence realized how much she sucked and ditched her ass. She was just a pointless waste of time and never should have been a thing. I'm glad Spence made out with Cat in front of her and I hope it chapped her ass that he never kissed her that way. Glad her family didn't die, but she and they can all fuck all the way off down the road.

Thanks for sticking this one out if you did.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Who I write for :

Criminal Minds

- Emily Prentiss

- Aaron Hotchner

- Spencer Reid

- Jennifer Jareau

- Alex Blake

- Elle Greenaway

- Derek Morgan

- Penelope Garcia

- David Rossi

- Jason Gideon

- Kate Callahan

- Ashley Seaver

Marvel

- Natasha Romanoff

- Yelena Belova(Platonic only)

- Kate Bishop

- Wanda Maximoff

- Carol Danvers

- Tony Stark

Brooklyn 99

- Rosa Diaz

- Amy Santiago

- Gina Linetti

Percy Jackson

- Annabeth Chase

- Hazel Levesque

- Piper McLean (Female reader only)

- Nico Di Angelo (Male reader only)

- Percy Jackson

- Frank Zhang

- Leo Valdez

- Jason Grace

- Reyna Ramirez-Arellano (Platonic Only)

- Will Solace

- Thalia Grace (Platonic only)

- Clarisse La Rue

AGGGTM

- Pippa Fitz-Amobi

- Ravi Singh

- Cara Ward

- Naomi Ward

Wednesday

- Wednesday Addams x reader

- Enid Sinclair x reader

Please request something! Anything really :)

[amberjazmyn]

dr spencer reid one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - instagram part two

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - none

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - a series of instagram posts from usersdrsreid and ynreid.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i had so much fun writing the first part that i knew i had to do it again and just because i really love dr spencer reid

part one masterlist

- - - 

liked by drsreid, derekmorgan, emilyprentiss, penelopegarcia, jenniferj and 456,789,50 others

ynreid what you don't see in the first photo is me laughing at spencer crying over the realisation that we now share the same last names 

View all 839,45,10 comments

drsreidi knew i was gonna cry all day anyway love, so it's okay to laugh

derekmorgan i think we were all crying at one stage

drsreid derekmorgan apart from y.n lol, she didn't cry once derek and big props to her because i did at one stage think we had gotten her but, we never did

emilyprentiss this day was literally the best wedding i've ever attended omg

penelopegarcia hands down my favourite wedding in the world. congratulations you silly poms

aaronhotchner and i thought i had cried my tear ducts dry but nope

ashleyseaver omg you guys are so fucking cute! 

ellegreenway lol, jj in the right-hand corner just screaming in joy 

liked by ynreid, emilyprentiss and 783,149,67 others

drsreid the reason why i cried the entire day wasn't that i was "losing my freedom as a single man" or anything else like those snarky comments i see. i cried the whole day because i had waited so long for today to arrive that when it did, i couldn't grasp the fact that i was finally marrying the girl of my dreams. 

i absolutely adore you mrs reid, more than words in any of the english or any other language dictionaries can explain. the reason why i cried all day was that i hadn't ever woken up as happy as i did this morning with the knowledge that i was going to be marrying my best friend. i cried all day because i got to fulfil the dream that your dad dreamt and made for you before he had the opportunity to see his gorgeous little girl get married to the love of her life. i cried all day because i didn't get to see my wife be walked down the aisle by her dad. i cried all day because we got to see aaronhotchner walk her down the aisle. i cried all day because finally got to vow my everlasting love to my soulmate. i cried all day because i finally got to fulfil my father-in-law's wish of marrying his little girl, just like he wanted me to do, that he had written down on his bucket list of "last things to do before i die". i love you so much mrs reid and i promise to love you every single day until i can no longer do it on earth. 

View all 928,875,67 comments

ynreid it was a perfect day spence, even though daddy never got to be here physically <3

emilyprentiss best wedding ever!

aaronhotchner i'm forever grateful that i was able to hand y.n over to you, spencer. it was an honour and i'm so glad i got to honour her father and your father-in-law

penelopegarcia omg, i cried so hard when i realised that hotch was walking y.n down the aisle, my lord.

jenniferj bro, didn't think i'd tear up seeing hotch walk y.n down the aisle but, it did and then i couldn't stop crying.

davidrossi so glad i had the pleasure of officiating the ceremony. it was beautiful you two.

ellegreenway i'm so glad we got to be a part of it, spence.

ashleyseaver i'm still so frustrated that i ugly cried any time that the camera was in my direct eyeshot 

ynreid ashleyseaver you still looked fucking gorgeous dear daughter! thank you for being one of my bridesmaids <3 

liked by drsreid, aaronhotchner,derekmorgan and 456,781,90 others

ynreid did someone order a baby reid?

View all 543,836,77 comments

drsreid yeah, i think i ordered it a few months ago. it still hasn't arrived yet

ynreid drsreid how rude, cannot believe it's taking this long!

aaronhotchner you guys just got married and already you're popping out children!

derekmorgan i think i just choked on my saliva holy crap what?!

penelopegarcia i've only just emotionally recovered from the wedding and now you're telling me you guys are pregnant?!

jenniferj and now i'm sobbing

liked by ynreid, emilyprentiss, penelopegarcia and 932,581,50 others

drsreid say hello to sage eleanor emily reid everybody.

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ynreid my two precious angels <3

emilyprentiss omg sage eleanor emily reid! only the cutest name ever!

penelopegarcia cutest goddaughter ever!

derekmorgan ok but like, who named sage?

drsreid derekmorgan y.n did actually, derek. sage was a traditional name in your family as was eleanor and then we wanted to honour one of you guys and we decided emily would be the perfect name. i cried instantly when she suggested we name our daughter after her grandpa's sister.

jenniferj best girl dad ever!

liked by drsreid, aaronhotchner, davidrossi and 894,142,99 others

ynreid spence, today is all about you and the amazing father you are to our little girl, sage eleanor emily. you love our daughter in ways that i could have only seen in dreams. you always make sure you give her all the attention in the world. you are sage's entire world and she is yours and it's plainly obvious. i am so grateful we get to parent our little pretty girl genius. i love you so much reid sr. 

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drsreid can you please stop making me cry bubs? i've been crying all day because of how loving you have been! i love you mrs reid

ynreid drsreid i love you more mr reid

aaronhotchner happy fathers day spencer <3

davidrossi happy father's day reid. sage is a beautiful girl, just like her beautiful parents

derekmorgan happy father's day pretty boy 

ashleyseaver happy father's day, spencer! sagey has gotten so big! 

liked by ynreid, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 876,912,34 others

drsreid happy mothers day mrs reid. you are the best mother to sage and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. it was almost magical to see the way your body changed during your pregnancy with our daughter. seeing you nurture her before and after she was born whilst still being a kick arse with the fbi always brings tears to my eyes and motivates me to be a better agent because you were born to be a natural mother and fbi agent and sage is the luckiest little girl in the world, just like i'm the luckiest husband in the world. sage eleanor emily and i love you every single day and every day is mother's day in this household!

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ynreid i can see why you got me to cry today without even trying. it was payback for making you cry during our wedding, our entire pregnancy and when i named sage. touché mr reid, touché

drsreid ynreid i sincerely promise it was not as payback because it made me cry seeing you cry. it was not payback at all

emilyprentiss happy mother's day y.n. can't wait to see the reid fam tonight <3

ynreid emilyprentiss thank you em! spence and i can't either. sage is also very excited to see her godmother, it's the cutest thing <3

aaronhotchner happy mother's day my darling y.n <3

derekmorgan happy mother's day pretty girl <3

- - - 

imagining spencer as a girl dad is everything in my dreams and therefore imagining mgg as well being a girl dad is everything of my dreams. i'd love either of them to become girl dads!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 1651

[beelmons]

BAU guys + Love Languages (Pt1)

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there're 5 main ways in which we show and receive love. These are some head canons on the love languages I think apply to each BAU guys. Are you compatible? My ask is always open if you want to share your thoughts and hcs with me! If you want to find out your love language you can take a free test here!

Spencer Reid

Giving: Spencer definitely shows love through acts of services. He's the type of partner/friend that will help you with a chore or offer to do it for you. He's a "fixer" even if sometimes he doesn't understand what that means. As a friend, he'll constantly notice if you're struggling with a task and offer a solution. As a romantic partner, he'll always be ontop of your needs, physical and emotional, to make sure that they are being solved.

When communication is not good, he might come across as insensitive, sometimes you just want to vent and be heard. He might seem like he wants to one-up you or show you that he could solve the problem faster, but that's not his intention. He wants you to be well again, as quickly as he can make it happen.

Receiving: Words of affirmation is how he understands you love him. Thanks to his autistic tendencies/neurodivergent coding he has trouble understanding social cues and underlying messages. You have to be forward with him about everything you do, no matter how fast he can pick up on your mood, if you don't tell him what's wrong, he won't be able to tell.

If you're not able to communicate properly, he might feel unwanted and pushed away. Simple expressions such as "you did good" "thank you so much for helping me" "I appreciate your input on my work/issues" can be very fulfilling for him. He needs to be reminded of what he does well so he can continue doing it, even if he himself doesn't verbalize his feelings a lot. Physical touch and quality time are his least present languages.

Aaron Hotchner

Giving: Hotch mentions time and again how he tries his best to provide both the team and his family his undivided attention. Doesn't this sound just like quality time? His job might take him away for weeks at a time, sure, but it's his whole and complete intention to give you every second he has destined for you without any interruptions.

Because of the line of duty, this can be complicated, sometimes making you feel as if you come last. Even when his love language is in conflict with his line of work, once he's not working, it's all about you and his loved ones. Listening to hours of your rambling, not even looking at his phone (if it's not an emergency), watching an entire movie without falling asleep. When you're with him, he's there, he's present in every way.

His guilt and regret from being away can sometimes add a bit of gift giving to the love language, but even if he shows up with a bouqué of flowers, remember that's only a token, he's there for you and nothing but you.

Receiving: In the same way he makes all the effort to be there, he expects you to be there with him. If you start looking at your phone or pioritizing time with others over time with him, he will feel unhappy and unloved, it’s all about the quality time. Receiving gifts and physical touch don't go a very long way with him, so if you are making him feel unloved you will have to find another way to remind him. This doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy cuddles and gifts every now and then.

Words of affirmation can also be a good way to communicate your love for him, but it's only a support language for quality time. Having dinner without looking at the time, doing a puzzle together, cooperating to help Jack with his homework, those are the moments his heart feels the fullest.

Derek Morgan

Giving: This man will shower you with so many words of affirmation and compliments you might feel like suffocating at times. He will praise you and let you know how adored, cared for, and desired you are. Mix it up with a bit of gift giving, and you've got that attentive boyfriend. Communication is key, because you might run into some trouble if you can't agree exactly on what a praise is. He can run his mouth, and sometimes he says stuff that, even if it's not ill intentioned, might come out as harsh and judgemental.

If you struggle with your self-perception, at times it might feel like he's lying to you or trying to deceive you for an specific purpose. Remind yourself that Derek Morgan is one of the most honest men to ever exist, and he would never say a word he didn't mean (as long as he isn't angry!).

Receiving: This PDA king needs his share of lovin', physical touch is how you can remind him he's the man of your dreams. Holding his hand, touching his shoulder, kissing him in public. He loves being displayed as your man, he loves feeling the electricity generated by your skin when it touches his. If you struggle with physical touch, he might come to think you don't desire him. You'd have to be open about your feelings towards the gestures, and come up with some rules, maybe you don't initiate the contact but try your best to not reject them.

During intimate times, it's very relevant that you initiate contact every once in a while, otherwise he might feel the relationship is one-sided. If you're unable to provide the touch he needs, at least make sure you give him quality time, when you're with him, it should only be about the two of you. This is only a supplement, but it will remind him of your care for him. The least understanble love languages for this man are acts of service and receiving gifts. He can do and buy things for himself, thank you very much.

[omg-hellgirl]

Spencer Reid and Ashley Seaver's anguish over an unexpected pregnancy and the fear of each of them passing on an unwanted gene to the child, aka schizophrenia and psychopathy, would be interesting to read.

[chithereader]

jealousy, jealousy / aaron hotchner

here’s my masterlist! pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader / shy!reader word count: 2.4k genre & cw: fluff, a little jealousy and pining angst if u squint, mentions of made-up case, different use of cm character a/n: thank u so much for all the support i've been getting on my fics!! hope you love this one as much as i do, i really enjoyed writing this one the most!

Today was a bad day. That much was clear. From the moment you woke up to the minute you arrived at the BAU– you’re convinced that the universe has simply gone the extra mile to make your life a little harder. 

You slept through your alarm and a few phone calls from Garcia, making your morning stressful and complete chaos. You didn’t have time to grab a cup of coffee or a snack, and apparently you also didn’t have time to remove the colorful pimple patches that adorned your face. 

Your blouse is buttoned asymmetrically, your hair resembling a bird's nest, and you left your ID at home, making your arrival more delayed as you had to employ Garcia’s help in presenting a copy of your ID to let you through. 

That too was not without stress given that your phone was on the verge of dying as you were in the call, but thankfully you could finally breathe in the elevator. Or so you thought. 

There were two things that immediately caught you off guard as you walked into the bullpen: one, almost all the desks were deserted and two, Reid and Morgan were watching you- as if waiting for your reaction, which led you to look around in anticipation. Is there a surprise? A prank? Did I miss a patch? I’m…wearing pants, right? 

Not wanting to prolong your search, you look at the two for any indication or clue. Tilting your head to the side as if to ask what? But to your surprise, they both nod their heads in one direction. Oh.

Strauss was in Hotch’s office, along with Rossi and a woman you don’t recognize. Hotch looked a bit tense, Strauss firm, Rossi is as relaxed as ever, and the woman… is looking directly at Hotch. Just Hotch. Huh. 

You were stood just shy of your desk when you shook thoughts out of your head, slowly approaching your desk to settle your things. Dozens of scenarios were running through your head, trying to make sense of new additions to an otherwise normal day. 

But the way she was studying him made your chest tight like someone was stepping on it.. and you couldn’t figure out why. 

You approach the two rascals only to lean on Derek’s desk as you whisper under your breath, “What’s happening there?” 

Morgan shrugs but his focused face remains, “I don’t know, kid. I tried Garcia but she doesn’t have a clue either.” Eyes studying the people in the room, noting anything that could tell them something. 

Mulling over more possibilities, you hum in response. Turning to Reid, you ask him- hoping that his eidetic memory can tell you anything about the woman even if they’d only met in passing. 

“Do you know anything, Spence?” But Reid only pouts at you, a sign that he’s thought about it hard but is coming up empty. 

Shaking his head, he soberly replies, “No..I don’t think so. I– I’ve never seen her before. Sorry.” 

Before any more thoughts could be voiced between the three of you, the door to Hotch’s office opens and all four of them file out- the woman walking a little too close to Hotch. 

-

You’re approaching your usual seat on the jet beside Morgan and across from Hotch when suddenly Agent Seaver overtakes you and sits on your seat. Caught by surprise, your eyes instinctively go to Hotch who’s already looking at you. 

He nods to himself, moving from the aisle seat to the one by the window. But it appears Agent Seaver misunderstood his gesture and moved beside him, “Oh! Thank you, sir.” Even going as far as touching his arm and leaning closely. 

Now, you’ve never been a violent person. Rage has just never overcome your senses like that but today.. of all days– you couldn’t help the image of spilling your hot chocolate all over her cream blouse. 

You don’t even notice that you’re frowning as you sit beside Morgan, somehow still unaware of how much their closeness really upsets you. You honestly thought you’ve maintained an expressionless face until Morgan looks up from his file and leans close to whisper in your ear, “You’ll need claws not paws, baby girl.” Winking at you as you separate. 

You steal a glance at Hotch only to see him watching you and Morgan with furrowed brows. He almost looks normal if it weren’t for the clenching of his jaw that’s his tell of irritation. Moving your gaze to Seaver, in case you missed something that’s causing his new mood, you find her reading the case file. 

As you return your gaze on Hotch, you watch as Seaver touches his arm again and engages him in conversation about the case. It’s through the whole jet ride that you had to stomach the constant Agent Hotchner, Agent Hotchner! paired with a giggle or a slight touch. UGH!

If it weren’t for Strauss personally recommending Agent Seaver as a consultant for this case, you would have done– …still absolutely nothing. You had no claim whatsoever over Hotch. Morgan and Rossi may tease the two of you occasionally, forcing that he treats you specially or whatever but his behavior could simply be chalked off as him being a good and attentive boss. 

And yes, okay fine. You may have some moments here and there… but! they could honestly just be built up in your head because of the feelings you have for him. Like when he said he likes it when you stare? Come on, being stared at can be flattering and that’s just a universal truth. 

- 

After a whole day of coming up with theories, visiting crime scenes and M.E.’s, you’re all completely spent. Lounging in the makeshift discussion room, all of you are still working tirelessly on the case given that the unsub’s on a spree and his timeline is alarmingly short. 

Reid’s been silently staring at the board for 20 minutes while Morgan’s pretending to read files of potential suspects with his legs stretched out and feet on the table, “This is impossible. We just don’t have enough.” He exclaims as he tosses the file on the table with a thud. 

To the left of Morgan, you’re also silently mulling over files of potential suspects. Not wanting to admit that he’s right, you guys don’t have enough…bodies. You barely have anything on the guy, barely any clues- for a working profile. 

You sigh heavily, peeling your eyes off the paper and looking at the board. “Reid?” The boy genius shakes his head softly, confirming that the known dump sites don’t say much about the unsub’s comfort zones or hunting ground. 

You suddenly wonder where Seaver, Hotch and Rossi are. You and Morgan got back to the precinct at around 11PM, and you realize you haven’t seen any of them, “Where are the others?” 

Morgan, in an effort to lighten the mood, jumps at the chance to tease you, “Hmm. I think what you’re really asking is: Where’s Hotch and is he with Seaver?” He punches your arm lightly, making it obvious he’s only teasing. 

The smug, playful smile on his face makes you fight one of your own, desperately trying to not give yourself away, “Shut up,” hitting him in the head softly with the file in your hand. 

While you two were exchanging playful glares, Reid interjects, “Seaver wanted to turn in early since she’s also the one meeting with the families tomorrow so Hotch brought her to the hotel.” 

You instantly lift your gaze to him and watch as he removes the marker’s cap and scribbles rapidly on the board, quickly adding “And I’m pretty sure Rossi’s getting us coffee from the diner around the block.” 

You want to blame it on your exhaustion– your inability and ineffectiveness at hiding how you truly feel about what Reid just revealed to you, groaning loudly in pain and frustration. You put your head in your hands, muffling the sounds you’re making that are somehow a combination of a laugh and a sob. 

Morgan understands your reaction immediately and laughs out loud. 

“It’s not funny!” There was honestly no point in hiding it. As much as Morgan teased you, you knew he wouldn’t tell anyway, and Reid.. well, he was honestly an even better keeper of secrets than Morgan, Rossi and Garcia. 

He puts a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, “Baby girl, worry not. You know you hold a special place in boss man’s heart.” Then gripping both your wrists to pry your hands off your face. 

Pressing your face even further into your hands, you let out a muffled version of “That’s not true!” that came out more as “Daffs noft thwu!” 

When Morgan successfully pries your hands off your face, you’re surprised to see Reid’s moved from the board to behind Morgan, half leaning half sitting on the table, curiously watching you. 

Morgan turns around to look at the door behind you, making sure the coast is clear before he says, “Kid. Be real with me for a sec… are you blind?” That was not the question you were expecting. 

You must have looked so lost because he continues, “Hotch cares for you. Deeply. And not in the same way he does for us. You’ve gotta have felt that, kid.” Funny, you are starting to feel like a kid– the only thing missing are his hands on your shoulders to complete that huddle pep talk experience. 

“That’s just not–” you try to start. But Reid swiftly raises his hand, signing you to stop–

“Did you know that every morning Hotch makes sure all the pens and mug handles on your desk are pointing to the right– the way you need it to be– in case the night janitors move any out of place?”

“Or that he never really ate lunch in the office before but started bringing sandwiches and other food he could microwave, while timing his lunches with yours presumably so he could strike up a conversation with you during break?” 

“Or do you remember that one time the AC in the bullpen broke and we were all sweating badly, and I said the heat was making me too thirsty then he disappeared into his office and came back with a bottle of water and an orange juice box only to give it to you?” 

Morgan lets out a loud laugh at that one while Reid pouts playfully, “I mean I was genuinely dying then.” 

Not without his own input, Morgan smiles softly at you with a raised brow “Did you know he personally restocks your favorite hot chocolate in the pantry and on the jet? Including the marshmallows.” 

You breathe in deeply, the revelations sounding too good to be true but winding nonetheless. You crack a small joke, trying to play it off “And I thought the bureau was just feeling really generous.” 

The two, who have grown to be such brothers, give you the exact same look of Really? 

As Reid rounds the table to go back and stand by the board, Morgan catches your attention and holds your eye, “Look, there’s so much more, kid. But they all point to the same thing.” He says this as softly as possible, as if to not scare you away. 

You let out a soft, breathy laugh. Shaking your head, “That just can’t be true.” 

With all three of your backs to the door, you don’t notice Rossi nearing. You just suddenly hear his voice from behind, rounding the table and settling the coffee cups in front of all of you, “Coffee, anyone?” 

As if trapped in the null of the previous conversation, you’re still looking at Morgan as you lean back in your chair, slumping further to seek non-existent cover. Reid, who is now back in his own world with the board, is handed a cup by Rossi, who didn’t even turn to look- only stretching out an arm to receive it and mumbling a distracted “Thanks.”  

Rossi, who is simply too smart for his own good, impressively senses something hanging in the air, nonchalantly asking about the tailend of a conversation he was not supposed to hear, “So… what can’t be true?” 

Back to lounging excessively on a chair that is a tad too tiny for him, with legs outstretched and feet on the corner on the table– Morgan spouts, “That she’s Hotch’s girl, and has no reason to be jealous of Seaver– who by the way needs the HR orientation more than Penelope and I.” 

-

Now– all of your backs are to the door except Rossi’s. Not one of you tried to move due to fatigue, let alone look.

Unbeknownst to you, Morgan, and Reid, on the way back to the precinct from the hotel, Hotch had the genius thought of picking up Rossi so the latter wouldn’t have to walk a block with trays of coffee on hand.

Hotch and Rossi arrived together. And as Rossi went around the table to give you your cups of coffee, Hotch stayed behind– leaning on the doorframe with arms crossed, watching you and the team.

Imagine his surprise, hearing what Morgan just said. His heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropped. His entire being froze entirely.. What? Jealous? 

In his mind, he had two choices: Act like he didn’t hear it and save you from embarrassment or use it to his advantage and make his intentions clear..ish. 

-

You gasp loudly at his bluntness– and in front of Rossi! Straightening in your chair and pointing an accusatory finger at Morgan, “You little– I am NOT jealous! and I am NOT Hotch’s–” 

Cut off by someone loudly clearing their throat from behind all of you, you all freeze, including Reid who hasn’t been actively paying attention until now. 

The hair on your neck stands up as you hear the nearing footsteps, already envisioning digging your own grave in your head when finally, Hotch is standing right beside you. 

You’re all still pretty frozen, save from the slow movement which is your eyes slowly lifting its gaze to the man in question until they meet his hazel orbs. He holds your stare as he leans on the desk, arms straining in his shirt– 

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Rossi fighting a smile, and just as you’re about to mentally curse him in your head, you’re broken out of your thoughts by a deep voice, 

“You don’t think you’re my girl?” 

[miley1442111]

saving me- s.reid

-------------------------------

-------------------------------

a/n: fem reader, but as always imagine what you like :)

summary: spencer has to save you before it's too late.

pairing: spencer reid x fem bau! reader

warnings: general cm topics, sexual assault, hostage situation, drugging, the team don't know about you and spencer, injuries, reader gets injured, reader is allergic to opioids, drugs, alergic reaction, knives, guns, reader begs to be killed, spencer shoots someone. (i think that's it, tell me if i missed anything :))

-------------------------------

Another migraine. Another fucking migraine. 

Your life was truly a joke. 

You sat beside Emily in the car, eyes heavy with pain as you profusely rubbed them, the sunlight from the sky beside you far too bright. 

“Y/l/n? Any ideas?” Morgan asked, kicking you softly under the table.

“The unsub will probably be extremely interested in the investigation but they probably won’t bring themselves into it. We’ll end up seeking them out,” you rattled off. 

“Are you alright?” Prentiss whispered. 

“Fine,” you lied. “Just tired eyes.” 

-------------------------------

Spencer’s eyes were on you from the second you’d spoken about your ‘tired eyes’. He was meant to be working up a geological profile, but his focus was completely on you. ‘Tired eyes’, you’d been wearing glasses or contacts all week, you’d been drinking enough liquids, you’d been eating, he assumed you’d slept, you'd been busy most of the week and sleeping at your own apartment instead of his. 

What could cause ‘tired eyes’?

“Reid!” Seaver all but shouted in his ear. 

“Y-yeah? Yes?” He answered, eyes focusing on the map again. 

“Is Y/l/n here?” Rossi asked. 

“W-what? No. I thought she went with Hotch and Prentiss,” he hesitated. 

“She told them she was with us,” Rossi sighed. “So then where is she?”

“I-I don’t know,” Spencer admitted. “I’ll call her.”

Rossi held up your cell phone and Spencer’s stomach dropped.

“Shit,” he cursed.

“Shit is right,” Rossi nodded. 

-------------------------------

It had been 24 hours, you were officially a missing person. You had no idea where you were, someone must’ve drugged you. That hadn’t been a regular migraine. Your head thumped with pain as you struggled against the duct tape around your hands and feet. 

“You’re one beautiful girl, aren’t you?” You could hear the smirk in his voice, feel the way he was watching you. 

You tried to scream but the duct tape around your mouth made it difficult.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” he came closer, into the light. You could see his face. He was a white male, between the ages of 35-40, dad-build, and a sick smirk. 

You didn’t fight back, you couldn’t. You didn’t even notice the camera in the corner. You didn’t know that this was being recorded, or live-streamed directly to Penelope. Penelope, who showed it to the team. To your boyfriend. 

They were watching the worst moment of your life unfold. 

And you had no idea. 

-------------------------------

“Guys,” Penelope squeaked. “This j-just came through,” she showed them her laptop and looked away, tears clouding her vision. 

“Is that-” Derek started

“Y/n,” Aaron finished for him. 

“What about her? Did you find her?” Spencer asked, staring at the group from behind Penelope. “Is she ok?”

The team’s eyes were glued to the screen as Spencer stood there, demanding an answer. 

“Guys what?!” he shouted. “Someone answer me!”

“Come here,” Seaver sighed. Spencer stood beside her and watched in horror as the unsub hurt you. 

“We have to find her,” he stated. “Now.”

-------------------------------

“Please, please just kill me,” you begged. He’d taken the tape off a while ago. “Please kill me.”

“I’m not a necrophiliac,” he laughed in your face. “I like my girls alive.”

“Fuck you,” you sobbed. Blood, dirt, tears, and sweat coating your skin. “Fuck you!”

“I’m actively trying to fuck you,” he laughed again. You hated him. You hated this. You hated everything.  

“Just kill me,” you sobbed. “Please!”

He hit you on the head and you went out again. 

-------------------------------

“FBI!” Morgan’s voice rang out through the warehouse. Spencer was hot on his heels, walking ahead of him and ignoring proper protocol. “Reid!” He ran after him. 

“FBI! Put the knife down!” Spencer shouted at the unsub holding a knife to your throat. Something had gone wrong. He scanned the room quickly. 

“I-I didn’t mean to- I was just-” The unsub stepped away, dropping the knife. “She wasn’t meant to die.”

Die. Dead. You were dead.

Spencer fired his gun without a second thought. He ran over to you and checked your pulse, there but barely. 

“Hotch I need an ambulance!” He shouted. “Y/n, baby, I need you to wake up,” he begged. “Please, please, wake up, I need you Y/n. Please.” 

“Spencer-” Prentiss started but Spencer silenced her with his own words. 

“We’re dating. We have been for a year and a half, don’t you dare tell me to ‘step away’,” he sighed. 

The paramedics rushed in, starting you on an IV. 

“She’s allergic to opioids,” Spencer rattled off. “She can’t have any opioids.”

“Spencer,” Hotch sighed. “She’s had some already,” Hotch pointed to the vials in the corner of the room and the rusty needle beside them. 

Fuck. 

-------------------------------

“So when were you planning on telling us?” Derek sighed as they all sat in the waiting room.

“I don’t know, soon-maybe?”

“A year and a half is a long time,” Emily smiled. “Congratulations.”

Spencer nodded.

“Dr. Reid?” The nurse asked. Spencer shot up and out of his seat. 

“Yes?” 

“Ms. Y/l/n is stable but she is severely hurt. Physically and... mentally. She endured hours of sexual assault and her body and mind reflect that. I suggest someone non-threatening to see her first. Maybe a woman?”

Spencer gulped and nodded. “Emily?”

“Yeah of course,” she nodded, walking behind the nurse as he led her to your room.

-------------------------------

You wanted Spencer. You needed him.

Emily walked in and tears filled your eyes. “Where’s Spencer? Is he ok?”

“He’s fine, they just thought that you’d want someone non-threatening to come in and see you first-” Emily explained. 

“Can you go grab Spencer please?” you sniffled. She smiled and nodded, then left the room. 

-------------------------------

“Spencer?” Emily called into the hall. “She wants you.”

Spencer had never walked faster in his life. 

There you were. Bruises and scratches littering your body and face. Your beautiful face. Your beautiful smile and teary eyes.

“Come here, please,” you whispered. Spencer sat at your side, your hand in his. “Thank you.”

He chuckled sadly. “For what?”

“Saving me. All the time,” you smiled softly.

-------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, challengers, the bear, the hunger games, obx+)

[sherrysgirl]

heather

spencer reid x fem!bau!reader

getting spencer’s sweaters is great, but seeing spencer give his sweater to someone else isn’t.

cw : jealous slightly insecure reader, reader isn’t ashley seaver’s biggest fan…

word count : 544

note : if there was an award for dropping short drabbles you’ve written in the span of twenty minutes but don’t even like, i’d be the winner. i didn’t proofread this and english isn’t my first language but enjoyyyy maybe??? happy belated third of december btw!! did anyone celebrate????

you loved the jet. it was spacious, the seats and the couch were comfortable, the little coffee / tea corner had expensive delicious coffee you definitely couldn’t afford on your own. everything about the jet was perfect except for the fact that you always got cold.

spencer always noticed that. it would take you approximately ten minutes until you started to shiver lightly. he didn’t understand why you never just wore an extra layer when you were quite literally freezing. he’d asked you about it plenty of times but you always dismissed him. a casual “it’s fine. i’m not that cold” would escape your lips. so instead of going back and forth with you, he secretly started packing an extra sweater of his for you. it’s not like you could ever say no to him. and that’s how during almost every jet trip, he’d offer you a sweater whenever you started feeling cold.

well, that was until ashley’s arrival…

she was amazing, beautiful, smart, young and so much more. truly a sight for sore eyes, you thought.

ashley was a sweetheart. everyone in the team adored her. even jj, who wasn’t even part of the team anymore, loved her. so, you were beyond confused on why you couldn’t warm up to her yet. maybe it’s because she’s somehow supposed to replace jj? or maybe because she’s landed a permanent job at the bau right after her graduation? you didn’t know.

but then it clicked.

you sat across from spencer on the jet, right next to emily. the second she had seen you at the bullpen she insisted that you sit next to each other on the jet as she had pictures she wanted to show you. jj had sent her adorable pictures of henry during their vacation. both you and emily had stared at the screen in complete awe, noting that after this case, you’d definitely have to visit jj and her son.

engrossed in your conversation with emily, you almost didn’t notice ashley walking by and sitting next to spencer. you tried your best faking a smile at her. the blonde started talking to spencer about whatnot. just the mere sight of her and the man you’ve loved for so long talking was enough to get your brain to shut down.

you excused yourself and got up to get a cup of coffee. and that’s when you saw it.

“is it always this cold in here?”, ashley asked with a giggle.

rhetorical question, of course.

spencer rummaged through his satchel, “oh! i have an extra sweater, if you’d like.”

she gladly accepted the sweater and thanked him.

you turned around, your eyes focusing on the drink you were making. you take a few sips once it’s done, trying to ignore that whole interaction you just witnessed.

“looks like you’re not the only one getting sweaters from pretty boy anymore.”, derek pointed out in a mere cocky whisper as he passed by you.

you rolled your eyes at him in an attempt to look unbothered, but you were bothered. you were so insanely bothered, you could’ve lost your mind.

he packed that sweater for you, but he gave it to her.

now you know why you hated her.

[padsfirewhisky]

YESSS

reputation as the bau

this is not law, it’s just who each song reminds me of:

ready for it - elle greenaway

endgame - ashley seaver

i did something bad - jennifer jareau, elle greenaway

don’t blame me - kinda derek morgan, idk why

delicate - penelope garcia, don’t ask me why

look what you made me do - emily prentiss

so it goes… - spencer reid, again pure instinct

gorgeous - also spencer reid 

getaway car - lauren reynolds

king of my heart - will & jj

dancing with our hands tied - alex blake

dress - aaron hotchner

this is why we can’t have nice things - david rossi

call it what you want - penelope garcia

new year’s day - aaron hotchner, again don’t ask me why

[shipperoffanonships]

FANON SHIP WAR!

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Got Off On The Wrong Foot

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: fluff

Request by anon: can you do a spencer reid x bau!reader where they have banter/act like anya and dimitri from Anastasia plz and thank you

Summary: You and Spencer got off on the wrong foot, and instead of trying to fix it, you keep finding new ways to piss him off. He’s cute when he gets angry.

Square Filled: ashley seaver (2021) for @spencerreidbingo​

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

You’re very thankful for your sister to get you the job you have. She joined the BAU to complete her training courses, and she told you how much she loved the energy. It eventually got to be too much for her to handle which is why she left.

You had gotten to know the team through her, so it didn't come as a shock when you wanted to take her place. You have police experience, and you are an agent for a different department within the FBI. Hotch knows you have the skill and credibility, so it wasn’t hard to transfer you over to his department.

Everyone was thrilled to hear you were coming over… Everyone but Spencer. It’s no secret that you’re incredibly smart, and you like to show it off to people. You’re not rude or cocky about it, but you don’t hide your confidence. You have a very high IQ, and you flaunt your intelligence when you can.

Spencer saw you as competition, and he grew irritable whenever you proved him wrong about something.

He's never had competition before because he was always the smartest on the team, but now that all changed. He's salty, but you’re not going to let that bother you. Plus, it’s kind of fun getting him all riled up about stupid shit. He’s fun to mess with because it’s too damn easy.

Everyone can see your feelings towards Spencer and his feelings towards you except for you two. It’s clear you two like each other, but neither one of you will do something about it. It’s frustrating to watch, especially when you two bicker like an old married couple.

Derek often says you two need to fuck, but you stopped listening to him a long time ago.

The briefing only takes about an hour, so you have the other six to do whatever you want while on the plane. You’re sitting on the chair that's across from the couch where Spencer is sitting. They’ve upgraded the planes to where the seats can swivel, so instead of facing the small table in front of you, you swivel your chair so you’re facing the couch.

You’re trying to get some sleep, but you can feel Spencer burning holes into your head from how hard he’s staring at you.

“What do you want, Spencer?” you sigh and open your eyes.

“Look, I have to admit, we got off on the wrong foot.”

“I completely agree. I accept your apology.”

“Whoa, I’m not apologizing. I’m--”

“Please stop talking,” you cut him off. “It’s going to make me upset.”

“Fine. I’ll be quiet if you do,” he says and crosses his arms.

“Fine, I’ll be quiet.”

You put your feet on the seat next to him so that you’re completely off the ground.

“Fine.”

“Fine,” you shrug.

“Fine.”

“Fine,” you say more sternly.

Spencer pushes your feet off the couch, and you stick your tongue out at him like a child.

“Are you seeing this?” Derek whispers to JJ.

“Every day,” she chuckles.

“Would you sit up? You’re not at home,” Spencer complains about your posture.

Instead of doing what he asks and finding a common ground, you slouch down even further which seems to piss him off. You put your feet back onto the couch and flip him off before trying to go to sleep.

Those six hours fly by fast when you’re asleep. You don’t even feel when you’ve landed. Someone shrugs your shoulders to wake you, and you lift your arm so fast that it smacks whoever tried to wake you. The person groans in pain, and your eyes open wide in guilt.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t--” You look up to see Spencer, and your entire demeanor changes. “Oh, it’s you. That’s alright then.”

“We’re here,” he grumbles and walks away from you.

You smirk and grab your bags before following him off the plane. The weird thing about this case is that the police already know who committed all these heinous crimes. There are seven dead people, and they all have evidence pointing to one person: Trey Vanderpool. The only reason why you were called in is because he is nowhere to be found.

If you can somehow put together a profile, then you can release it to the public in hopes they will help find him. The thing about Trey is that he’s so filthy rich that he can afford to disappear. He must have teams upon teams of bodyguards and security that makes it very hard to locate someone like him.

However, you have Penelope on your side, and she knows more than she lets everyone else think. She can work some serious magic, and while she couldn’t locate Trey immediately, she did find out important information about him.

For example, he never passes up big parties. He loves to attend the really expensive ones that play boring music and are filled with important and sometimes dangerous people. Usually these parties are a front to drug use or underground weapon sales, but he never misses one of those parties.

And there is one happening two days from now.

It gives your team enough time to come up with a profile to give out to the public, and enough time to get yourself ready for this party. Hotch made a deal with the person hosting it and got his entire team invitations.

The only thing in your control is what you’re going to wear, and luckily, you always come prepared for these types of things.

You’re wearing something elegant with a bit of a raunchy twist. The dress is emerald green that hangs off the shoulders, exposing your collarbone and the top of your breasts. The dress shimmers all the way down to your feet, but there is a large slit in the front that shows off your long legs. Your hair is pinned up, you have a diamond necklace on, and long thin earrings to tie the whole thing together.

Spencer is the first one at the party with Derek, and you’re the second. He looks to the front of the mansion where you stand, and his entire mouth goes dry. He is speechless, which doesn’t happen often. If you weren't such a pain in his ass, then you would be the most attractive person in the room.

Scratch that. It doesn’t matter if you’re a pain in his ass or not. You’re still the most attractive person he’s ever laid eyes on. Part of the reason why you bug him so much is because you make him nervous and flustered. Half of the time, he isn’t irritated at you but himself for feeling this way.

“Why don’t you admit you like her?” Derek asks Spencer when he sees who he’s looking at.

“What?” Spencer snaps out of his trance. “I don’t like her. I’m just amazed that she’s actually on time for once. She’s always freaking late.”

He leaves his friend’s side and approaches you, and you look at him with a dazzling smile.

“Wow, Reid, you clean up nicely.”

“So do you.”

The rest of the team gets to the party, and hotch splits you into pairs to look out for Trey. You have to wander the entire mansion until you find him, so you and Spencer take the main room where the open bar is. It’s where most of the people are.

No matter how many times you do this or how many bad guys you take down, you’re always nervous. This could be the one who brings a gun to the party and shoots you. This could be the one where he shoots someone you care very much about. Everything is on the line tonight, and your nerves are taking over.

Spencer notices how nervous you are, and he looks down at your hands where you’re scrunching a napkin to keep your hands busy. He sets down the drink someone handed him and grabs yours. You look over at him the second you feel him, and you give him a nervous smile.

“Everything is going to be alright.”

He takes the napkin away from you and discards it before intertwining his fingers with yours. You get lost in his eyes for a second, and you think why you haven’t noticed how bright his eyes are. If he weren't so damn irritating sometimes, then you could see yourself falling for him.

Scratch that. It’s because he’s so damn irritating that’s got you hooked. You glance at his lips once before pulling away from him completely.

“Want to dance?”

“We’re supposed to be looking out for our unsub.”

“We can dance and look.”

“I don’t know how,” you shyly admit.

Spencer smiles and grabs your hand again before pulling you closer to the middle of the room. There are a few couples dancing slowly to the soft music playing, and no one notices you and Spencer doing the same. He slides his left hand to your back while the other is still in your hand. He pulls you closer and begins moving gently to the music.

You don’t know how to dance, but the longer you stare into his eyes, the more you feel like you can.

“You know, you’re not so bad. I really would like to start over. If you want to, of course,” you quickly add.

“I’d like that,” he smiles.

You can’t help but look down at his lips again, and this time, he looks down at yours. You both inch forward slowly until you’re about a whisper away from each other. However, before your lips can touch, Derek interrupts.

“We found him. Come on.”

You let out the softest sigh before pulling away from Spencer. You follow Derek, but Spencer stays behind for two seconds. He watches you go off with Derek, and he thinks to himself that, yeah, he’ll do anything to make you his.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[spencereidlovesshoes]

Spencer Reid x Boxer!reader Headcanons

A/N:

You met in a hospital

Spencer was there because he was shot and you suffered from a very aggressive diarrhea

After three weeks there you were so bored you just sneaked into others patients rooms and observed them for unspecified periods of time

One time you stumbled into Spencers room

You were stunned. You had to go talk to him

At first he was a little bit scared because you smelled, but he was also amazed by your muscular arms. He knew he would never had those

Because he was a profiler - a great one actually, he knew you were probably a boxer, once he realised that he felt so safe.

It didn't matter to him that you were a shitty boxer.

After that you guys started to talk to each other often even after you left the hospital.

You realised pretty soon that you loved him.

His hair reminded you of Jesus. But that wasnt so special, you thought everybody looked like Jesus since you had a concusion mixed with that poopy thingy. That wasnt a good combo

You started dating and Spencer begged Aaron Hotchner on his knees that you could be his personal bodyguard. He succeeded

You traveled with him everywhere. Even to the bathroom. Most of the time you were the one using it.

Spencer felt really safe with you on the cases. He knew he was built like a life sized pipe cleaner.

But it wasn’t always just shits and giggles...

You had to really fight for his life sometimes, especially when he was being hit on by some girls

this was not exactly part of your contract but Aaron.

It really pissed you off when people weren’t paying attention to Spencers rambles and they were mean to him

The final straw was when Seaver aka JJ from Temu, the girl who wasn’t in the team for even a month, told Spencer she was sorry for asking when he rambled about some stupid ass thing like Doctor Whoa

You didn’t care you were on the plane, you just beat the shit out of her. She was bleeding a lot.

Suddenly the pilot came out of her cock pit and yelled at you: "WTF? I don’t know how to ride this thing."

Spencer loved you even more after you showed everyone who’s the man in your relationship

[blackbird-brewster]

CM Fanfiction on AO3

I'm a bit of a stats nerd, and I've been wanting to put this together for ages. The following are some statistics regarding Criminal Minds fanfiction of AO3. Do with this what you will, but if ever someone tries to tell me this fandom isn't misogynistic -- I will just point to this post.

I spent an abhorrent amount of time putting this together, hope it's interesting to other people. Please don't send me hate mail for my opinions.

Base Statistics

Total Fics Tagged Criminal Minds: 34,561

These stats were compiled by me on 20/06/23 via AO3's filtering system.

Note: These were taken at face value, meaning these numbers may not be exact. In order to get exact statistics, I'd have to stringently filter out things like mislabelled fics, spam, fics with multiple categories (to find pure slash, femslash fics), etc.

Tumblr will destroy the resolution of the graphs, just click to see full res :)

Fanfic statistics gathered from AO3, episode totals gathered from IMDB.

CM Fanfiction by Category

Most Popular Category: F/M (26.2%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 34,561

These totals weren't all that surprising, in a fandom that is largely obsessed with two men and no one else, I sort of expected this.

The only reason F/M has the largest amount of fics (vs M/M) is because 37% of all F/M fics are "Spencer/Reader". (More about pairings below)

If 'x reader' fics were excluded from the data, then the distribution would skew to: 34% M/M vs 24% F/M

Sorry, I just saw the 'other' category is the same colour as F/M on the graph. Other accounts for 2.3% of all fic categories

CM Fanfiction by Rating

Most Popular Rating: Teen and Up (30.3%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 34,561

I think it's interesting that the most popular ratings are Teen and General -- even though a huge portion of readers only read Mature/Explicit. There are absolutely incredible works that are rated Teen and General, and it's just a shame people don't read them as much as smut. That's probably the same in most fandoms though.

Top Relationships for Each Rating: General Audience: Spencer/Reader Teen and Up: Morgan/Reid Mature: Hotch/Reid Explicit: Hotch/Reid Not Rated: Spencer/Reader

It's no secret that this fandom worships Hotch and Reid above all other characters, but I think there's something to be said that a M/M ship dominates the Mature and Explicit ratings. Slash fic (M/M) has always been more popular than femslash (F/F) in pretty much any fandom, and the history of fetishization of mlm relationships in fanfiction (the fetishisation usually being written by cishet women, not talking about queer people writing queer fic) is always worth discussing.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Characters

Most Popular Character: Spencer Reid (19.9%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic:*indeterminate due to crossover (multiple characters per each fic)

No surprises here with the top three being the men who make up some of the most popular ships.

Notice how Jack Hotchner, a CHILD who was in 22 eps out of 300+ -- is featured in MORE fics than main characters (who were in multiple season) like: Luke, Matt, Tara.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 (BAU) Characters

Most Popular Character: Spencer Reid (20.5%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: *indeterminate due to crossover (multiple characters per each fic)

This one is filtered by BAU members only. Sorry, 'reader', this is about main characters only.

Notice how Gideon (45 total episodes, 2015 fics) and Elle (27 total episodes, 1371 fics) made the top 10 list even though characters who were on the show for YEARS missed out.

Main Characters not in the Top 10: (* denotes section chiefs. Bold denotes characters who appeared in more episodes than Gideon) *Erin Strauss (24 total episodes, 1361 fics) Alex Blake (48 episodes, 1190 fics) Tara Lewis (97 episodes, 1108 fics) Matt Simmons (49 episodes, 642 fics) Ashley Seaver (13 episodes, 279 fics) Kate Callihan (23 episodes, 247 fics) Jordan Todd (8 episodes, 130 fics) *Mateo Cruz (6 epsiodes, 88 fics) Stephan Walker (15 episodes, 66 fics)

All three men who didn't make the Top 10 are men of colour. Which is worth pointing out because the main reason Derek and Luke both made Top 10 is because they are popularly shipped with Reid. Outside of Morgan/Reid and Reid/Alvez -- I doubt they would have been tagged as much as they are.

Also worth nothing that Tara Lewis who appeared in 97 episodes, which makes her the EIGHTH highest billed character (above Luke, Gideon and Elle) -- doesn't even make the Top 10 most written about characters. She also happens to be the ONLY Woman of Colour on this list. Coincidence? Doubtful. She's also the ONLY canonically QUEER character -- and yet....even in the F/F tag she doesn't make top 5 (more about ships below)

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Relationships

Most Popular Pairing: Reid/Reader (24.5%)

Most Popular Character Ship: Hotch/Reid (18%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 20,873 out of 34,561 (*includes fics with multiple pairings tagged)

This was WILD to me. I knew that 'Spencer x Reader' fics (I grouped ones tagged 'reader' and ones tagged 'you' together for this graph) were popular but I wasn't prepared for how skewed this data was. I don't have much to say about it anything involving Reid tbrh

Only three out of ten top relationships DO NOT involve Spencer Reid.

For people who don't know: using a slash ( / ) to denote a pairing means the pairing is romantic, using the ampersand (&) to denote a pairing generally indicates a non-romantic relationship.

Notice the ONLY F/F pairing that made Top 10 was JJ/Emily (with only 10%)

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 M/F Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: Spencer/Reader (52%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 9741 (72% of the total F/M fics on AO3)

Look, I don't know what to say about this. It speaks for itself. This show had an incredible ensemble cast who were all integral to the show's success -- yet, the only character anyone cares about in the fandom is the generic white dudes. Misogyny at it's best.

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 M/M Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: Hotch/Reid (45%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 7870 (75% of the total M/M fics on AO3)

Again, no comment about the most popular ships

I was, however, surprised that Hotch/Rossi made Top 5

CM Fanfiction - Top 5 F/F Relationships

Most Popular Relationship: JJ/Emily (71%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: 2927 (65% of the total F/F fics on AO3)

For people who don't know: using a slash ( / ) to denote a pairing means the pairing is romantic, using the ampersand (&) to denote a pairing generally indicates a non-romantic relationship.

It's not surprising that JJ/Emily dominate the femslash category. They have always been the main femslash pair in this fandom. However, they only make up 49% of all F/F pairings!

I was surprised to see that 'x reader' fics took 2 out of 5 slots on this one. And I was especially surprised that Emily/Penelope made top 5. (I mean it's only 148 fics, but there they are)

Again, note how Tara Lewis (a canonically sapphic character) isn't a part of ANY of the top 5 pairings, even though she was in 98 episodes. That's a travesty imo. Tara/Emily trails at about the 7th most popular F/F ship with a mere 115 fics

In Conclusion...

Most of this was to be expected. This fandom has always praised the male characters while pushing the women aside, so the amount of works focusing on Reid and Hotch wasn't that surprising.

I think it's interesting how people tend to throw Jemily shippers under the bus (broad statement made via my 18 years in this fandom), because Femslash is by far the smallest portion of the shippers in the entire fandom. People just hate women

Do with this information what you will. This was mostly compiled because I've always been curious, and also I think it serves as an important archival tool for the fandom.

Please don't send me hate mail for my opinions.

Word Count & Additional Tags Information Below Cut

CM Fanfiction by Word Count

About 52% of all CM fics (34,561) are under 5,000 words

This was a really fun one to do, and was mostly included because I was curious. I think it'd be worth getting even more specific by trying to work out the average word count for all fics under 5,000 words.

Hey, if you're a marathon author with long works -- look at YOU!! You're a very small percentage in this fandom, and as someone who prefers long-form fic -- I am personally thanking you for your dedication.

CM Fanfiction - Top 10 Addition Tags

Most Popular Tag: Fluff (21.7%)

Fics Counted in This Statistic: *indeterminate due to crossover (multiple tags per each fic)

I honestly expected angst/whump/hurt/comfort to be first on this. I guess if you add up all the variations of those type of fics, they'd be top tag.

Obviously this one isn't ever going to be perfect, because tons of people either don't tag their fics, or they don't use the prescribed tags above. Still, I thought this was worth adding to the post.

For more stats please see my, [Tara Lewis Fic Stats Post]

[zephyrwrites2]

BYF

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Zéphyr / Zeph | Used to be @zephyrwrites | +21 | 🇨🇵 | They / It / Iel / Ol | Queer | Feminist | Pro-choice | Anti-censorship | Anti-harassment of all kinds

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I'm not comfortable with minor interacting with the posts/reblogs with a "suggestive" tag. Beside that I don't have a DNI and I don't care about yours.

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Posts tagged "untagged" are things I don't have the energy/will to tag so be careful with the possible triggers.

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Block the tags Suggestive / Sex Mention if you do not want to see / read nsfw stuffs

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Origins of the "I retconned my gender" joke

(The link is for a french youtube video about 2 guys watching and theorising about Petscop).

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AO3: Zephyr_Cloe_Ambroise

ko-fi.com/zephyrcloeambroise

I have Twitter, Insta and Aethy but I nearly never use them

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I can help with any question about French and French culture for your stories + I can translate them

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Thanks @dankgemestho for my new pfp 😊

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(Nearly) All my fandoms in alphabetical order (the crossed out ones are not my current obsession but you can ask about them):

Boku no Hero Academia (BakuDeku is still my ultimate otp)

Cyrano de Bergerac (Cyrano/Christian/Roxanne OTP <3)

DC Comics (especially everything that has to do with Damian <3)

Detroit: Become Human (especially Connor and the Jericrew)

D.Gray-Man (favourite manga forever and Allen is best boi <3)

Harry Potter (very occasionally and mostly about Harry or Regulus)

Hetalia (Japan, Germany and N. Italy or FACE Family centric mostly)

Le Comte de Monte Cristo (2024) (obsessed with the Count, André and Haydée's relationship)

Marvel (Team Iron Man, Matt Murdock and Loki centric + Poolverine and very anti Steve, Clint and Wanda)

Percy Jackson (especially about my boy Percy)

Petscop (Paul has retconned his gender like me :D)

Rusty Lake/Cube Escape (about everything <3)

Sherlock BBC (Sherlock centric and not that much of a johnlock shipper anymore because of the last season)

Star Wars (mostly reading about Luke, Leia and Han + Anakin, Obi Wan and Ahsoka + Rey, Finn and Poe)

The Sandman (mostly the TV Show, I haven't finished the comics even if I spoiled myself months ago)

White Collar (I'm in love with Neal and Matt Bomer <3 also wc OT3 forever)

Ace Attorney (very occasionally and mostly about Phoenix or Miles)

Assassination Classroom (Class 3-E centric)

Avatar: The Last Airbender (especially Zuko)

Blue Exorcist (very occasionally and Rin and Yukio centric)

Creepypasta (nearly only fanarts)

Criminal Minds (Reid centric and not a big fan of JJ or Seaver)

Danganronpa (only Trigger Happy Havoc)

Danny Phantom (Danny centric and somewhat anti Maddie and Jack)

Deltarune (nearly only the original FUN Gang + sometimes Noëlle and Berdly)

Detective Conan / Magic Kaito (Shinichi/Conan and Kaito centric)

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club (very occasionally and Iwatobi + Rin centric)

Fullmetal Alchemist (Edward my beloved childhood crush <3)

Good Omens (everything about the Ineffable Spouses, Anathema, Warlock or Adam)

Hades and Hades 2 (mostly Zagreus my sweet boi and Melinoë the GOAT!)

Haikyuu!! (Hinata centric)

Heartstopper (very occasionally and mostly Charlie centric)

Hollow Knight (The Knight/Little Ghost centric and not against The Pale King + The White Lady bashing)

Hunter x Hunter (very occasionally and Gon/Killua/Kurapika/Leorio centric)

Ib (anything about Ib, Garry, Mary and Guertena)

Into The Spiderverse (mostly Miles centric)

Katekyou Hitman Reborn (Tsuna centric and All27 or Skull centric and nice crossovers)

Kuroko no Basket (Kuroko and Seirin centric and very much NOT Aomine)

Lucifer (very occasionally and mostly Lucifer centric)

Lupin III (mostly Lupin, Jigen and Goemon centric)

Macgyver 2016 (Mac centric with a good dose of Jack, Riley, Bozer, Mattie and Page + not a fan of MacDesi nor of James)

Merlin BBC (Merlin centric + preferably good/redeemed Morgana)

Miraculous (Marinette centric and NOT Adrien or Adrienette friendly)

Mulan 1998 (very occasionally and mostly about Mulan)

NCIS (Tony, Abby or Gibbs centric mostly)

Naruto (Mostly Naruto and Obito centric + not a big fan of Sakura, Jiraiya and Sarutobi)

One Piece (Mostly about the ASL Brothers and Law)

Pandora Hearts (very occasionally and mostly about Oz)

Perception (very occasionally and mostly about Daniel)

Prodigal Son (or as I call (and love) it “Let’s Whump Malcolm!”)

Professor Layton (either Luke or Layton centric)

Resident Evil (Ethan and Leon, my fav DILFs <3 + Jill my love <3)

RPF (French Youtube only)

Scorpion 2014  (very occasionally and mostly about Walter + not a big fan of Page and the rest of the team because of the last season)

SCP Foundation (nearly only fanarts)

Shugo Chara!  (very occasionally and mostly about Amu and Ikuto)

Star Trek (mostly the J.J. Abrams remake and Jim centric)

Supernatural (Dean centric and John bashing + a little Sam bashing)

The Big Bang Theory (very occasionally and mostly Leonard and Sheldon centric)

Teen Wolf (mostly Stiles centric and pretty much anti-Scott)

The Queen’s Gambit (very occasionally and mostly Beth centric + only the TV show)

Undertale (mostly Frisk and Chara centric + NarraChara truther)

Voltron (Lance centric and Langst fan)

Yuri!!! On Ice (Yuuri, Yuri and Viktor centric mostly)

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[de4dlyniightshade]

the same anon from ur last post here! OMG I was talking about Emily x Specer more bc of season 12! and ngl, Reid is hotter since S12 HAHAH. Anyway, you should continue! I like Hotch, but I do prefer Luke allll the way compared to Derek, and I think the new team respects Spencer way more than the old one (as they should).

I do realize how JJ and Derek treated Spencer made it seem okay, which is why Seaver was also such a jerk to him. It's like when the environment does so, the others just follow. I think that's why I like the new team (lol, unpopular, I know). Sure, the case stories become terrible, but team-wise, I love how they do respect Spencer.

honestly i'm both excited and scared to get to the later seasons bcs all my sweet babies leave and i can't handle it but i'm excited to see luke and spencer bcs i've seen clips and he's so good to him actually💔