ssa-neeks-prentiss

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

I just wanted to say happy birthday to Aaron Hotchner, who is in fact, one of my favourite characters ever <33

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Penelope Garcia x fem!reader decorating for Halloween or putting on Halloween costumes together?!? both would be so so cute!!

Note : I wrote this to cheer myself up because my friend bailed on trick or treating the day before so :( but I'm going as the queen and icon Penny :3

Penelope Garcia x tall!fem!reader

Word Count : 1.2k

You laughed at the sight of Penelope's pout, she wasn't able to reach the ceiling and she was attempting to put up orange streamers.

"Here let me do it."

Her pout dropped and she grinned at you.

"Thank you!"

You smiled in response as you took the streamer from her and went up on your tip toes to reach and stick it up. It looked slightly tacky with the blue tack easily seen against the orange, but neither of you cared. You had invited everyone over for a Halloween party that would end up with all of you going trick or treating with Jack, Henry and Michael.

You had maybe two hours until people would start to arrive and you were almost finished with decorating.

You successfully put the streamers up and helped Penelope bring the pumpkins to the dining table. It was an activity for the night, you knew the kids would enjoy it a lot and, to be honest, you would too. You had always loved Halloween, but you had never gone to the extent you had today, not that you minded. You loved seeing Penelope happy and doing this obviously did.

You watched her eyes light up as you carefully placed the pumpkins down to prevent any damages. You did so as she watched, she was precise with where she wanted each pumpkin. You followed her orders and put one pumpkin on the table before going back for another. Once the pumpkins had been put on the table, you went back to the kitchen for the tools, you made sure to put the kid friendly tools to a few pumpkins and made an internal note to direct the kids to those pumpkins.

You smiled softly as she squealed on about how cool this was going to be and how excited she was, the excitement was contagious as you could feel yourself getting more and more excited, she then took your hand and dragged you to your shared bedroom.

The two of you had decided to go cliche with matching costumes and went with an angel and devil. Penelope had chosen a white dress while you had gone with trousers, preferring those over a dress, they were a deep red and you were putting a corset over the top of a red long sleeved button up shirt, matching with red converse trainers that had little horns that you had sewn on a few days prior.

You put the costume on and finally gave in to Penelope as you let her do your makeup. It was a simple look with some red lipstick and a deep red eye shadow. You paired it with some little red horns before checking the time. Penelope did the same and groaned in frustration.

"We still have an hour!"

You smiled sympathetically. You knew she was excited and wanted time to hurry so people would get here. You smiled as you had an idea and you went to the living room, knowing Penelope would follow, and turned the music on.

As you turned to her, you saw she was looking at you with confusion on her face. You simply flashed her a smile as you held a hand out, she got the idea as she took your hand and you began to dance, going from song to song.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You continued to dance until the doorbell rang. She squealed in excitement and rushed to the door, you followed suit with your hands in your pockets. She opened the door to Hotch and his son, Jack. Jack grinned and immediately ran to you. You smiled and picked him up and rested him on your hip.

"Well if it isn't my favourite Hotchner."

He grinned as you took in his costume. It was a Darth Vader outfit and you looked up to see Hotch carrying his helmet. You grinned as you playfully spun him around and he laughed as you did so.

You playfully threw him down on the sofa as he scrambled up and begged you to do it again. You laughed as you picked him up again to spin him, you two were having so much fun, you didn't notice the bell rings again or Penelope and Hotch greeting them until you heard him speak.

"Well, well, well, the tiger has lost its claws."

Both you and Jack jumped at the sound of his voice and you half heartedly glared at him.

"This tiger will still beat your..."

You trailed off as you remembered Jack on your hip but Derek seemed to get the idea as he held his hands up in faux defeat.

"Okay! Damn!"

You rolled your eyes at him before whispering to Jack.

"Hey, should we get him back later for scaring us?"

Jack grinned and nodded before whispering to you.

"Can we get Uncle Spencer in on it?"

You nodded.

"Of course."

You grinned as you stopped whispering and you walked past Derek who seemed a little nerved by your whispering.

"I like your costume, Jack!"

"And I like yours Y/N/N!"

You smiled as you set him down on a chair in front of one of the child safe pumpkins.

"Can you be on mine and Daddy's team?"

You nodded.

"Sure! We will beat everyone else!"

Jack grinned and nodded.

"Yeah we will! When are Henry and Michael getting here?"

You shrugged in response when the bell rang again.

"I'll get it!"

You called and you smiled softly as Jack got down from his chair and followed you like a lost puppy.

To Jack's delight, the people behind the door were JJ, Henry, Michael and Will. You nodded to the two as Jack and Henry ran off to the living room together. You then held the door for the three of them and kept it open as you saw Emily. You grinned as you playfully flirted with her.

You and Emily had a similar flirty friendship that Penelope and Derek had. The two of you moved to the kitchen as you waited for the last two to arrive. You started to guess what Spencer would come in dressed as.

You didn't have to guess for long as the bell rang once again, showing both Spencer and Dave. You grinned as you held a palm out to Emily and she begrudgingly gave you five dollars. You had guessed that he would come in as Frankenstein's monster. And your guess was correct. Dave in his fashion, just came wearing his normal clothing. You walked over to Spencer as you whispered yours and Jack's plan in his ear. He grinned at you and agreed. Penelope called everyone in for the party to get started.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

It was maybe an hour in as you and Hotch were scraping the guts out while Jack carefully drew what he wanted carved. He showed you and you grinned and nodded before starting to carve it out. Hotch helped as well and in no time, the pumpkin was done.

You then placed the lit candle inside and carried it out to the patio. Jack followed you and you put it down. He grinned and you stood outside, waiting for the others to finish and one by one they filed out.

You hugged Penelope close with a soft smile. Everyone crowded around the pumpkins. Your friends. Your family.

Everyone you loved was right with you.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Do you think I should post the first Halloween fic today or post all the ones I write tomorrow?

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

I beg of someone, gimme something Halloween themed to write, Emily, Aaron, Spencer, Penelope, anyone. I will write for anyone on the team or has been on the team, I just wanna write something Halloween themed

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Prompt: someone on the team has a secret child (the reader) and the team is shocked, but Hotch get into dad mode/uncle mode and has the child wrapped around his finger in minutes.

You choose the age of the child. I mean they could be an adult I guess.

Note : I might make this into a series and sorry if your name is Eleanor! I've also decided to stray and now she has three kids instead of one... Sooooo! I've also got like a little storyline and backstory planned out so it's like a 90 percent chance it will be a series! I also may have strayed a little of track :3

Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Word Count : 1.1k

AARON'S POV

He had been at work for roughly three hours by the time the team started to file in. He was always early, always getting there earlier than Spencer or Dave. It was a normal Tuesday. Except Tuesday meant paper work day. Despite how the team viewed him, he, in fact, did not like paperwork. At all. But he suffered through, wanting to be the best agent.

But he knew he wouldn't be. You were there. Wait, no, that sounded like jealousy. Okay, it kind of was. But you were just perfect. You were deterimined, young, agile and creative. The perfect agent. He was honestly surprised at the fact you hadn't been move up or been transferred to a higher department by now. But, their loss was a win to him.

He was then dragged from his thoughts as he heard a commotion from outside his office. Confused, he stood up and stepped outside. He looked down to meet the deep blue eyes of a young girl. His brows shot up in surprise as he spoke with a gentle tone.

"Hello?" He tried to not let his demeanor scare the girl and sighed in relief as the girl didn't seem to care, instead opting to grin and wave at him.

"Hello! I'm Eleanor, but everyone calls me Ellie! What's your name?"

He smiled at her introduction, the innocence of a little child always seemed to amaze him. He then leaned down.

"I'm Aaron. Nice to meet you."

She grinned up at him.

"You're Aaron! My mama told me about you!"

He looked perplexed.

"Your mama? Who's your mama?"

She looked at him with an incredulous look as if he had said the most stupidest thing ever.

"My mama? You don't know mama?"

He shook his head.

"Not by the name Mama. I would know her by a different name."

Eleanor nodded in an understanding way.

"Sorry, I don't know my mamas real name. I just call her mama."

She spoke with a shrug. He frowned.

"Can I pick you up? Then we can try and find your mama."

Her eyes lit up and she nodded.

"Okay! I don't know where mama went. She told me to stay put but I got Distracted."

He smiled softly as he picked her up as rested her on his hip. He then straightened up as he saw Derek walk up to them.

"What the.. You know.. I'm not even gonna ask."

Derek spoke with his hands up as he turned away but he paused when Eleanor spoke.

"You're Derek, right? Mama told me about you! She says you like.. Kicking doors down?"

Aaron chuckled quietly as he turned back around with a smile, well, it was more of a smirk.

"She did? Well, who is your mama?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know her name. Me and Aaron are going to find her! Do you wanna come? Ooh! Can I go on your shoulders? My uncle Azrael let's me go on his shoulders while he carries my sister!"

Aaron stopped and frowned.

"Your sister? Where is she?"

She looked up at him.

"Oh, she's at school, but mine was shut because of... Uh.. Stuff!"

Derek laughed at her explanation.

"But Azrael had this important job thingy or whatever so I got to go to her job with her! Which is this. But then I got lost. So I don't know where mama is now!"

The two shared looks of amusement at the girls words and her nonchalant tone while speaking. Aaron cleared his throat as he spoke.

"So, can you describe your mother?"

Eleanor nodded eagerly.

"She has Y/H/C hair!"

Aaron nodded. So that was still about half of the people in the building.

Eleanor moved to jump down and Aaron let her. She scrambled away surprisingly quickly for a little kid and Aaron and Derek shared a glance before a mutual agreement was made as the two jogged after her. The two caught up to her quickly and they decided to just walk around. Eleanor ranted to them as they walked, she was similar to Spencer in that way, constantly having something to rant about.

"Oh! And we have a dog! A German Shepherd! He's called Rex! He's a police dog for my Uncle Azrael but he stays with us so he's technically my dog!"

Aaron paused. He swears he had heard of a police dog called Rex. It was definitely mentioned by someone on the team... Who though? He couldn't for the life of him remember, which annoyed him because it was important in the moment.

She skipped as she had a hand in Derek's and a hand in his. Then then heard a familiar voice frantically calling the girls name.

"Eleanor?! Ellie?! Els?!"

They used multiple nicknames and they paused. Eleanor's face lit up as she called.

"Mama!"

Eleanor let go of the twos hands as she ran.. Right to you.. You sighed what he assumed as relief.

"Eleanor! Don't you dare run from me again!"

She spoke in a cross tone but she hugged Eleanor nonetheless. Derek's face shifted into one of surprise and Aaron could feel his do the same. You clearly hadn't noticed them until Eleanor grinned at you.

"Look who I met!"

She then pointed to then and you stood up to thank them until you saw who it was and you froze.

Aaron raised a brow and Derek voiced their question.

"You have a kid?!"

"Two kids?"

Aaron added after as he remembered Eleanor talking about a sister. You then grimaced.

"Three."

Aaron's eyes widened in surprise and so did Derek's.

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

She shrugged.

"It was on my information when I applied?"

She added meekly. Aaron rolled his eyes.

"What's going on about kids?"

The commotion had attracted Spencer and Penelope. Derek turned to the two of them.

"Y/N has three kids! Three!"

Penelope's eyes widened.

"Really?! I wanna meet them!"

Eleanor grinned from where she was beside you.

"I like your dress!"

Penelope's head snapped to you and Eleanor as she squealed and jogged to you.

"Who's this bundle of joy? Why did you hide her from us!"

She immediately leaned down to wrap her arms around Eleanor who did the same and accepted the hug with a grin. You smiled at the two and when the hug broke she put Eleanor on her waist. She then turned to Spencer.

"You can do magic tricks right? Can I see one? I wanna do magic!"

She spoke excitedly and Spencer's eyes lit up. He smiled as he nodded eagerly and Eleanor immediately jumped off of her mother and ran to Spencer who waved his hands excitedly as he spoke to the little girl. Her turned back to you and saw you watch the two with fondness in your gaze.

He smiled and walked over to you. You looked at him and smiled greatfully.

"Thank you for looking after her."

"It was no problem."

And it wasn't because he loved you. And he would do anything for you, and, by extension, your children as well.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Please someone send me a fluffy Spencer Reid or Aaron Hotchner request, I beg of you

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

I've decided not to do whumptober any more so requests are open again <33

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Hey guys, I won't be posting for however long because I've just had an asthma attack. I hope to have whumptober finished by the end and have a massive post of them instead of doing daily stuff, thanks and see ya <33

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Day 9 of Whumptober!!

BAU x mute!reader

Word Count : 1k

Pariah : An outcast

You had always felt like an outcast. A parish if you will. All because of something you couldn't control. Your speech.. Or.. Well.. Your lack of it. You had sworn that it would be the death of you.. And.. Well it probably has.

──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────

Last thing you remember was that you were in a tunnel with the rest of the team until the tunnel had collapsed. And everyone had been found.. At least they thought they had. Hotchkiss was doing a roll call as they had managed to successfully escape.

"Dave? Spencer, Derek, Emily, JJ, Y/N... Wait. Where's Y/N?"

He spoke, his usual composed tone gone as he realized they had forgotten you.

"They were right next to me.."

Spencer spoke aloud, looking around.

"Yeah, that was before the tunnel collapsed!"

Emily panicked.

"We left them behind! How could we do that? Oh god we're such bad teammates. And friends. And everything!"

Penelope spoke up, she had gone on the mission with the team as it was a closed space in Alaska that the tech wouldn't be able to reach from Quantico. Spencer and Emily couldn't help but agree.

"We can just call and hope they reply?"

Emily suggested and Spencer turned to her confused.

"But they can't speak?"

"They can get over a little fear if it means saving their life!"

Emily replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No! Emily! You don't get it! They. Can't. Speak. At all! They're mute! They've never been able to speak."

He then started to panic.

"How will we find them?!"

The team was now getting his panic as they realized the same thing. And by the time they could find you.. Well it would most likely be too late. Wait. No. Don't think about that. They would find you if it was the last thing they would do.

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

When you had woken up in the tunnel, you immediately checked your phone and cursed internally when it was broken. You chucked it against a wall in frustration. You were stuck and you had nothing to communicate with. You were truly and utterly stuck. In a tunnel with depleting oxygen to top it off.

You had tried your best to cry out for help, the panic making you think if you tried hard enough you would be able to speak again. Coming to your senses, you knew that was ridiculous. You would never be able to speak. After calming down as much as you could in the situation you were in, you looked around for any escape.

It was no doubt you were in the underground tunnels that were underneath the main tunnel. Maybe there was a way out? You hoped and started walking.

You had been walking for who knows how long. Minutes? Hours? Days?? Who knew? You certainly didn't. You hoped that everyone else had found their way out. That they were safe. The hope you had held on to had kept you calm for the however long journey you had been on through the ever winding tunnels.

Seriously. When did the tunnels end? Hold on.. You swore you had passed this large rock before.. You were going to go crazy before you would manage to escape.

You were so tired..

So..

Tired..

Maybe if you just..

No. You need to keep going.

But just a little nap..?

No. You knew naps could result in dying in your sleep due to no oxygen. Especially down here where the air was getting mustier. Does that mean you were further away?

So tired..

Maybe if you took just a little break..?

Yeah..

A small one..

Like.. 5 minutes..

Yeah..

Okay..

You were too tired to think a coherent thought as you sat down on the uncomfortable makeshift mud floor as your eyes fluttered shut and you drifted off.

You didn't even notice how shallow your breathing was... And you didn't notice the others calling your name. You were just so tired..

So...

Tired...

...

..

.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The others were frantically calling your name through the underground tunnels. Hoping you would hear them and come running. Every now and then they would all quieten down to see if they could hear any thumping feet. But each and every time there was nothing. Nada. It was silent. Too quiet. You had to get through this.. Right? The team needed you, despite your disability. They needed your wits and caring eyes cast upon them when they were sick.

They needed you.

"GUYS. I FOUND SOMETHING."

Derek shouted. The team rushed over and Derek held out a phone. Your phone.

"They must've been here! They must be close!"

Spencer exclaimed and they began calling with new found energy. You were near. They were sure of it.

They rushed through the tunnels until they stopped and listened closely. Nothing.. Maybe you were further ahead?

With their hope slowly diminishing, they slowed down until they were trudging through the mud. Spencer, still determined you were close by, was in front with a slight pep in his step. You were near. He was sure of it! You had to be! They had found your phone.

They were all beginning to tire out. Even Spencer had slowed down. Until..

Until...

"Y/N?! IS THAT YOU?!"

They had heard Sonecer call as he raced forward, they're adrenaline replenished their energy as they ran over to the body and it was you! But how did they not hear you? Or your breathing. You were breathing right..

Wrong.

"Y/N? Hey, Y/N, wake up. Wake up!"

He checked your breath. Nothing. Crap. He immediately pushed you to the ground and with tears in his eyes he started CPR.

1..

2..

3..

4..

"Come on! Don't leave me!"

Again.

1..

2..

3..

4..

5.

Tears were in each of the teams eyes as Derek pulled Spencer's sobbing body away from your lifeless one.

You were gone.

If only you could talk.

If only you hadn't been stuck on your own.

If only they had searches faster.

If only they had noticed you weren't there quicker.

If only..

If...

Only.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Day 8 of Whumptober!

BAU x CIPA!reader

Hints to David Rossi x reader

(Congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis (CIPA) is a very rare and extremely dangerous condition. People with CIPA cannot feel pain. Pain-sensing nerves in these patients are not properly connected in parts of brain that receive the pain messages.)

^^ Google definition of CIPA btw!

Note : I do not have CIPA, so all of this is just research! I am very sorry to those who have CIPA and I have done it wrong

Word Count : 1k

Spurious : False but designed to seem plausible

You didn't notice as the unsub slashed your leg. You didn't cry pit in pain. The team didn't even notice you were injured. You weren't limping or wincing or showing any signs of injury.

You were stood after you had arrested him, you were panting heavily but you blamed it on the chase instead of any injuries you could have. You then walked out of the way before Derek pointed something out.

"Uh. Who's blood is that?"

You turned around to where Derek was motioning to.

"Probably from where I beat his ass."

You joked as you spotted the pool of blood. You joked like any normal person except.. Except you speech was slightly slurred. But it was so slight that no one noticed it. Not even the observant Spencer Reid.

Your joke made everyone chuckled and they went about their day and arrested him until Spencer and Derek jogged over to everyone.

"Hey. So uh. That blood isn't our unsubs." Spencer spoke.

Everyone looked up.

"So who was it?"

JJ asked with her worried mother tone.

Derek shrugged.

"We don't know."

"All we know is there is a trail of blood that leads right over here."

Spencer explained as he pointed to the line of blood spatter.

You cursed yourself silently. You should've checked. Everyone looked at each other as Emily questioned nobody in particular.

"Everyone looks fine?"

The rest of the team murmured in agreement as you grimaced. You didn't want to check but you probably had to. You cast a quick glance at everyone before looking down silently and sure enough. You could tell the blood was coming from you.

"Are you okay Y/N?"

Spencer asked as he noticed you looking down.

"Uh.. Yeah.. Every- every- everything is- is- good."

You spoke with a stutter and slurred speech. Fuck. So much for masking it.

"Are you sure?"

Emily inquired.

"Yeah- yep-."

You answered as you took a step forward.

"See. Fine-"

You stated before promptly collapsing. Rossi immediately moved forward to catch you.

"Hey, hey, are you okay? Where does it hurt?"

He questioned and you grimaced as he kneeled to the ground to help you sit up.

"No, I can't feel anything. That's the problem. It doesn't. It never has and never will."

You admitted truthfully. As you opened your eyes you could see his questioning gaze before he voiced his confusion.

"What?"

Spencer, the ever genius he his, answered for you.

"CIPA, right?"

You nodded in response. You could see a few people running towards you.

"CIPA? What's CIPA?"

Rossi asked, concern lacing his tone.

"CIPA is a congenital insensitivity to pain and anhydrosis is a very rare and extremely dangerous condition. People with CIPA cannot feel pain. Pain-sensing nerves in these patients are not properly connected in parts of brain that receive the pain messages."

Spencer recited and for the first time in a while, Rossi listened intently to Spencer's ramblings.

"Wait, so, basically, you can't feel pain?"

"Yep."

You then sat up on your own with as much ease as a normal person would, much to Dave's surprise.

"Wait, wait, don't move, you're going to bleed out!"

David fretted. You couldn't help but roll your eyes as the paramedics finally arrived to help. You muttered under your breath.

"So much for fast arriving. I could've bled out."

David let out a slight chuckle as he heard what you said and he silently agreed as they wheeled you away.

He stood up, not caring for the blood that covered his clothes, or the blood that stained his hands.

The only thing going through his mind at that moment was concern. Would you make it? How come the team didn't know about your.. Predicament? Until now. Until it could be too late.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

You blinked open your eyes slightly before squeezing them shut as the fluorescent lights flashed brightly above you. Just becoming aware of your surroundings, you felt something clutching your hand and the side of the hospital bed dipped slightly.

You waited a minute or two to adjust to the brightness before you could open your eyes fully and figure out why the bed was dipping.

You turned your head as you looked to the side of the bed.

"Dave?"

You muttered quietly. David's eyes shot open and up to your face.

"Y/N?"

He confirmed quietly. You hummed in response, your mouth dry as a desert. He immediately sat up and grabbed a bottle from the beside table and handed it you. You drank it and after your mouth was less dry you uttered out a simple thanks. It was all you could get out.

He smiled in response.

"I haven't been so tired in ages."

You joked quietly, trying to diffuse the tension. It obviously didn't work as David's face was serious.

"You lost a lot of blood. Too much. You were so pale.. You looked dead, Y/N."

You looked down to the ground and couldn't help feel a bit embarrassed. You hadn't wanted anyone to see you like that. Ever. But, what you want never gets. That was clear enough. You looked back up in the silence to find David staring at you and he whispered so quietly you thought you were making it up.

"I thought I had lost you.."

I. Not we?

"How did the team react?"

Before he could get another word in, Penelope barged through the door.

"Y/N?! Oh god, you're okay. You're good. Great!"

She then called the others in as you laughed weakly.

"Yeah, Penny. I'm good."

You smiled as the others filed in. They cared at least. You had never felt so loved before. You could get used to this feeling. The feeling of family. Of unconditional love.

"I should get injured more."

It was meant to come out as a joke but at the immediate shut down of the others with a glare from each of the you muttered.

"Jeez, okay, nevermind."

But seriously, you should get injured more if this was how they would react.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Woohoo! Week one of Whumptober! I've decided to just do whatever one I want to now :)

BAU x Reid!Reader

Tw: Descriptions of blood and injury, major character death

Word Count : 1k

Meraki : To do something with soul, creativity or love; to put something of yourself into your work

Your breaths were slow and laboured. The team stood solemnly around you and Spencer. You knew you weren't going to make it. You just knew. And the rate your blood was flowing out of you proved it.

Tears stung each of your families eyes. They had watched you grow up. Had watched you become the person you were. And they were about to watch your death too. Spencer's cries and lies of comfort were somewhat endearing if you didn't know that you were without a doubt going to die. It was obvious.

Your brothers arms were wrapped around you, for once not caring about any germs in the blood or the ground the two of you were sat on.

"No. No. Your gonna be okay."

You smiled softly.

"I love you Spence."

"No. Don't speak with such finality. You're going to make it. You have to."

Your heart broke as he cried. You didn't know if his words were to comfort you or himself. You shifted your head to look at the team. Pity in your gaze. Most of them expected to grow older with you.

Rossi watched you with grief. He was meant to die first. He was meant to watch you get married and have the children you always wanted. You were meant to live to get older than him. Not to die in your 20s. This was not how it was meant to go. Tears threatened to fall as you took your last breath. After your death, his tears fell without his permission.

Spencer pulled you closer. Not caring about the blood that coated his clothes. You were gone. His little sister was gone. And it was to save him.

You had put your soul into this job. You had always told him you wished to be as great as him.

"You were always a better profiler than me."

He whispered as sobs wracked through his body. Spencer was now alone. For this first time in a while, he was empty. Numb. His sister and soulmate gone. It was the worst feeling in the world. A feeling so heart breaking he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

You had died and taken some of his soul with you. You had taken a piece of everyone in your last breath.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Spencer trudged through the halls of the BAU, each step he took a memory of you flashed through his mind. The others followed behind him. A quiet sadness washed over the group as Emily spoke.

"Penelope doesn't know."

Spencer halted. Penelope was your best friend and you were hers. This would break her just as much as it broke him. He took the last few steps into the bullpen where Penelope was stood. She smiled brightly at them and joked.

"What? Did somebody die."

Tears filled Spencer's eyes at the joke. Of all the jokes she could've said. She spoke the one of truth.

Penelope looked at the group as she searched for someone. You. But you weren't there, you never would be again.

"Where's Y/N?"

Her happy smile twisted into one of confusion. Tears now streamed down his face and Penelope's usual upbeat tone turned somber.

"Spencer. Where's Y/N?"

He sobbed as she repeated the question and he looked at her through his blurry eyes. She was pale and her face was full of sadness.

"No. She can't be. She can't!"

Tears fell as Derek stepped over to her and pulled her into a wrenching hug. Something you would normally do if it was a hard case.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Spencer sat at his desk. His coffee long gone cold. His mind sunk deeper into his thoughts. It was supposed to be the summer season. A season that brought joy upon those who experienced it. But Spencer found the only thing that covered his mind and heart was gut wrenching grief.

You had loved summer. You had loved running through the leaves and solving summer cases, which were usually a lot happier.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

It was the day of your funeral. His black suit was damp with tears. This day only a reminder of your passing. He had done many things to try and undo what had happened. He doesn't want to talk to anyone right now. He just wanted to drown so he didn't have to watch you leave.

He was sorry for not protecting you as much as he should've and now you had payed the price. If only he could go back to the night you two had met for the first time.

Spencer had never felt so alone. He had nothing or no one. He was alone again. He walked around the house. The place you used to love. The only thing missing was you.

Hadn't he given enough?

Hadn't you given enough?

He didn't want any help. He didn't deserve it. The only person he wanted to help him was you. And now you were gone. Nothing ever stays the same. He wished and wished that it was him instead of you. You didn't deserve death. Especially not so young. You deserved the world and it was cruelly taken from you.

JJ stepped over to him after letting herself in.

"Spencer?"

He looked up with a hum.

"It's not your fault."

He looked at her in surprise.

"What?"

"It's not your fault."

She repeated and fresh tears were now falling down his cheeks. He pulled her into a hug and he sobbed as she held him.

"Y/N wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself."

His heart broke a little more when he heard your name.

In the end, it's just him again.

Cursed to be indefinitely lonely.

He should've been there.

You were taken from him too early.

Tears filled JJ's eyes as he unknowingly muttered his thoughts to her.

"You're not alone. She's still here. In there."

She pointed to his heart and then his head.

"She will never be gone. She would rather die again than leave you alone."

He laughed bitterly. At least he knew that was real, you were so selfless.

And in the end, it was the reason for your death.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Whumptober day 6!

Note : This is now a series! It'll be my first one :D

Word Count : 1k

Alexithymia : The inability to express your feelings

You were reading when Anderson rushed into the room.

"There's been another victim. With another note. It said 'Eleanor. You ran from me. And because of this, prepare for another trial.' It was signed this time with Vixen."

"Vixen is the name for a female fox."

Spencer explained. You paled. You knew who had done it. You looked around the room. How do you reveal you know it without revealing who you are?

You paused for a moment before sighing aloud, making every turn to you.

"Fuck it."

They were surprised and Derek joked.

"Didn't think ya had it in ya to swear N/N."

You glared at him.

"Now it's not the time for jokes.."

You took a deep breath in.

"I know who it is. And what family is being targeted."

They all stared at you in surprise until Spencer made the connection.

"Your family is what the murders are about."

You nodded.

"The trials were something my family had faced for centuries. It's why my family is so large. Each generation has to have at least 9 children before the next 30 years or.. The Vixen comes after them. It sounds like a fairytale. I know."

You thought back to the trials and you shivered. The agony you and your siblings had been put through.

"Let me guess, it's been 30 years?" Derek murmured. You nodded.

"And there's only been 2 kids."

They all grimaced and nodded.

"So what are we gonna do?"

You stared at them.

"You are gonna do nothing. This is between me and my family."

Derek snorted.

"Like hell we're not."

You were surprised. You through they were just going to agree.

"What?"

"You're not doing this alone." Spencer added. You were now double surprised. Normally, Spencer was timid and shy. But now he was determined. Determined to held you..

You smiled and looked down.

"Okay."

Spencer smiled.

"Okay." He repeated.

"Now. What in the supernatural bullshit are we dealing with."

Derek interrupted and you laughed before shaking your head and turning serious.

"There is a lot of things that exist that you wouldn't think did. Things that completely go against science and everything you know. But you've got to trust me. And trust that everything I say is real. Got it?"

You got murmurs of agreement and nods. This was really happening. They trusted you. You smiled again.

"Okay. Now, first things first, stuff like vampires, werewolves, ghosts? They exist, but not like how society depicts them in movies and TV series."

"What are the trials?"

Spencer asked and you paused. The trials. You flicked back to one certain memory.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You heard your siblings calling your name. But you couldn't take it. You were so close.

"Y/N! C'mon!"

You couldn't do it. And your siblings realized too late why. You heard your sister, Maisie, cry out your name.

"Y/N!"

Then you heard your cousin, Celeste.

"Crap! She's injured! Someone come help me."

And that was all you heard before blacking out. It was an injury you had managed to hide for almost a week but then the blood loss had gotten to you.

When you were waking up after promptly fainting. You realized you were in your bed and safe. You didn't know how you had survived. Did the others come get you? You heard your name being called again.

"Y/N!"

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Y/N!"

You snapped out of your daze as Spencer clicked his fingers in your face. You frowned and shook your head.

"Yeah?"

"You spaced out. Are you okay?"

You smiled and nodded.

"As great as I can be when there's someone hunting down your family. But anyway, the trials. They're cruel, grotesque things."

You frowned and debated internally before giving up and lifting your trouser leg. They gasped as you revealed a long jagged scar that ran from the beginning of your ankle up to your hip.

"This was the best injury there's been in the trials for a while. To put it bluntly. Most don't escape. My generation was lucky that we all..."

You frowned. How could you forget.

"That only one of us didn't make it."

Your voice was cold again but they understood. Obviously someone had died in the trial. Someone you were close to. They decided among themselves to just let it go. It was a traumatic event for her if the that was the best thing that had happened in centuries.

You looked to the floor. You were revealing your entire life story. Something that you had hidden so very carefully for years. It's was all unravelling when you didn't want it to. You were just beginning to trust everyone. You had wanted to reveal it in your own time... Which was preferably never, but oh well. Life is harsh. You knew that much. Everyone in the BAU knew that much.

The team collectively frowned. They knew it was getting to you but it was weird seeing Y/N Y/L/N so.. Vulnerable.. Normally you were calm and collected, an asset in times of chaos. But now it was the greatest chaos and you were apart of it.

"Let's get going. I can show you my.. House.. And my family."

You spoke before grabbing your file and standing up. The others swiftly followed you, it was the end of what would've been a normal shift anyways, so they grabbed their stuff and followed Y/N to the car park.

You frowned. It was weird. Knowing you were introducing your team to your family. Kind of like introducing a blood family to a found family. They were both your family in some ways. You had gone through trauma with both and you had had most members of each family cry on your shoulder. You loved both families.

But you thought introducing them wasn't a great idea. Especially when you were coming unannounced. You didn't have time to go and warn them. You wanted to get to them as quickly as possible and make sure they were all safe. Even if you knew they were. Just to be sure, right?

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Whumptober day 5!

Bau x fem!reader

Word count : 1k

Anguish : Extreme pain or suffering, both physical and emotional

Everyone in the BAU had hard cases sometimes. Like, JJ always had hard cases with children. But, for some reason nothing seemed to affect Y/N. She was what the FBI deemed a 'perfect agent'. Nothing fazed her or got in the way of her work. She was never tired. Never sick. Never anything except the utmost agent.

They also found her to be very isolated, she would say no to outings to bars with the team, she would say no to going to any of the others houses. She was always at work or at home.

Speaking of home, the team didn't even know where Y/N lived. They knew nothing about her personal life. Well. Not until this case. Then they would know everything. And why Y/N Y/L/N was the way she was.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It had all begun when you were in the conference room, JJ had said there was a case. An urgent case. You were sat up in your chair, waiting for JJ to arrive with the case files. You had preferred a paper file, just like Spencer did. You worked best with the genius.

Your eyes followed JJ as she walked into the room with the files and iPads.

"This case has been requested to us by the higher ups."

Ah. So this must be a major case then. But why us? There were many other teams that could do it better than them. You could hear murmurs of surprise from the others but you ignored them as JJ spoke again.

"The first victim is 25 year old Auryn Caladrius. She was stabbed through the heart and left with a message saying 'You must've lost your heart, so I'm here to return it.'

Caladrius. That was the name of an agent in the CBI.

"What's so interesting about this case that we were requested?"

JJ frowned at your tone. It was void of emotion like always when debriefing. But she answered your question anyway.

"Each of the victims are part of under the wrap families. Files that not even Garcia's hacking can reach."

It was then silent. No one noticed you had paled. They were murdering under the wrap families. Which means yours might not be safe.. Crap.

You shook your head before anyone could notice your pale face.

"The next victims?"

JJ frowned again. You knew what she was thinking. You knew what they all thought about you but you had to be the best, or your family would be revealed. But it may not last much longer.

"Next is 30 year old, Blaze Barnes, also stabbed through the heart with a note stating 'I will find them before you find me. I will find every single one of them.'"

Barnes was of course another popular agent, responsible for the jailing of many people, you would just stop commenting about each agent and listen.

"Flora Clarke, 14. Same death, with a note saying a name 'Alexis.' No surname or nothing."

You paled. Alexis. Your younger sister, she was also 14. Could be a coincidence.. Right?

"Cassie Hawksley.. 3.. The note had another name and another paragraph. 'Soleil. I will find all of their names until every last one has been found and then I will murder them all."

It was then Hotch that spoke up next.

"Uhm.. How many victims have there been with names on the notes?"

"Seven."

You were doing you best not to shake. Alexis. Soleil. This was no longer a coincidence. They were targeting your family. The family that meant everything to you.

"11 victims? How come we haven't been warned until now?"

JJ shrugged as Emily asked the question.

"They wanted to keep it from causing mass panic. They're still looking through files to find out who has a family with those names. They have to do it long hand due to not having any hackers that can reach the files. But onto the next victims."

"Nyssa Rodriguez, 27, 'Clover, lucky number 3. How many are left to go? Only [first initial of your first name] will know. So hurry up before I find all of them.'"

"It.. Seems to be a personal vendetta against one person. They're trying to find every member of their family, correct?"

You asked no one in particular. They all agreed though. And Spencer spoke verbally.

"So we have to find who has a family with these names and get them to help us."

JJ nodded.

"The rest of the names and notes are in your files. We can read them now to speed things up. It is also a local case so we can stay in the precinct.

You nodded and scanned the rest of the victims. The rest just had names until the last one.

Kaia Cunningham; Spark

Mars Thompson; Edith

Elsie Crawford; Ayla-Jane

Myra Hawksley; Maisie

Remy Ryder; Aria-Rae

Kade Monroe; Celeste.

Mars was the only one with an extra note.

'Only 4 more left. How do you feel being hunted down? Do you even know it's your family that's next. I know you will get this case. So chop chop. The clock is ticking.'

The rest of the victims had an extra word that was either 'tick' or 'tock'.

"I guess the Tick and Tock's refer to the clock on the note Mars was left with. Though, what do these victims relate to for the reason they were murdered other than they were under the wraps due to having an agent as a family member?"

Spencer asked and Emily wondered aloud.

"Maybe it's to do with age? The notes have a small number in the corner correlating to the victims age."

Only if Emily knew how on the mark she was.

You were worried. No one has seen you break. But you don't think your pain will stretch this far. If anything happened to your family you would lose it. And the team would not want to see what happens when you lose control...

Okay that sounded cringey. But still. No one had seen you be anyone except the cold, collected perfect agent. And this had resulted in someone hunting your family like a pack of rabbits.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Whumptober day 4!

Emily Prentiss x reader

Word count : 1k

Hiraeth: the feeling of being homesick for a home one is not able to return to; homesickness pertaining to a home that never was.

You stared, your eyes wide. Tears filled your eyes. No. She couldn't be. She was alive yesterday. She was here yesterday.

Tears filled your eyes. The eyes that a few days ago, Emily had complimented. You now decided you loved your eyes. Because you loved her. You loved her so much, but you never got to say it. You never got to say how much you enjoyed her company. You never even got to say goodbye.

You thought back to all the little moments you had shared. The hugs that lasted a little longer than necessary. You would never forget her touch. How her arms felt around you. How her arms would longer around your waist after you pulled apart.

You would never forget the moments you shared. The moments you had taken for granted. These things were done thinking you had a lifetime. But you didn't. You didn't act on your actions. You should've known it wouldn't last. She wouldn't last.

It was as if everything you touched died. Everything you would love would disappear. Everything you wanted would leave. You were alone in this cruel world.

It was silent. Almost peaceful. The solemnity of the world was opposite to the thoughts raging through your mind.

You took a deep breath in. This is not what Emily would've wanted. She would've wanted you to live. To continue your life. And you did. You continued on. For Emily.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It had been almost three months since her death. And the team was finally close to finding where Doyle was. Where the arsehole who murdered Emily was. You wanted to find him and... And you wanted revenge.

You wanted to murder him. You wanted him to feel the way Emily had felt in her last moments. You wanted to bash his head in. He deserved it. He killed the most precious person in your life. For nothing. So you had every right to want to bring him harm. You loved Emily. More than anyone. But you hadn't realized until it was too late.

You were brought back to reality when you heard Hotch walk in. He was back after being placed in... It was Pakistan right? You couldn't remember. You were way too focused on Emily's death to care where anyone else was situated.

You listened as he spoke about some weird shit like 'it was for the better' and 'it will hurt'. You weren't really listening. You didn't really listen after that. You lifted your head slightly at the sound of clacking heels. Were you getting a new member?

Assuming that, you rested your head on your palm again. It was irrelevant to you right now. But then.. You heard it.

You.

You heard her.

Your head snapped up as everyone stood up. You along with them. They all rushed to her, giving her hugs and all that. You couldn't think straight. Your mind malfunctioning. She was alive? She was alive. This entire time. She was alive somewhere.

This is what you had hoped for but now it was happening. You didn't know what to do. It felt like hours before Emily turned to you. Or it could've been minutes. Or even seconds. Time was weird in your mind.

You stood there. You wouldn't make the same mistake. You loved her. And you weren't going to waste another second.

You ran into her open arms and instead of just going to hug her, like Emily assumed. You pretty much smashed your lips against hers.

Clearly Emily had had the same idea because your lips met halfway. You decided to promptly ignore all of the others in the room. You had waited long enough for this moment.

They took the initiative and left. Leaving the two of you alone. Emotions were poured into the kiss.

Relief.

Regret.

But most importantly, love.

Right. You loved her. You loved Emily so much, it was unbelievable. You loved her with your heart and soul. With everything you had.

You only broke away from the kiss when you both needed to breathe. But your hands didn't leave her waist. You weren't going to let her go for a long long time. And she understood it. Emily would've done the same if it was the other way around.

But that wasn't important right now. Emily was here. And she was alive, safe. You nestled your head into Emily's neck while wishing this moment would last forever.

You were here. Emily was here. You were home.

You smiled. You were home. And home was Emily. You hugged her tighter at that. She was in your arms and would be for a while. You didn't let go when Hotch came back in.

"We still have a case to finish."

You nodded but didn't remove yourself from Emily. Emily didn't make any effort either and Hotch didn't do anything to stop you. By now, the others were filing in.

Reluctantly, you let go of Emily, holding her hand instead, you sat down on a chair, Emily sitting in the one next to you. You were glad.

You listened intently to the case at hand for the first time.

You just functioned better around Emily. Especially now you knew she was beside you and not six feet under.

You thanked the world for giving Emily back. The greatest gift anyone could've given you.

You still couldn't get over the fact she was here. And that you had kissed her. It took everything in you not to reach for her face and kiss her again.

You laughed quietly as Emily turned to you.

"What?"

Her voice like the sun on a rainy day.

"I have to agree with you when you said Sergio is the best man ever."

She smiled softly.

"You took Sergio for me?"

"Of course."

And it was of course. You would do anything for Emily.

Anything.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

It's all lies.

Whumptober: Day Three!

BAU!team x reader.

Tw: Wrongfully imprisoned, feelings of betrayal

Word count : 1.4k

You were standing in a cell. You never thought you would. But you were. But you hadn't done anything. But they didn't know that. They thought you did it. But you didn't. But you had no alibi. You were asleep, on your own, after declining to go to a restaurant with the team. The evidence was piling up against you, and if it was someone else from the team where you were, you would think it was them too.

As the door clicked open, you didn't bother lifting your head. You couldn't bear the look in their eyes. The betrayal you would see. You didn't know who walked in until they spoke.

"We know you did this. No point in denying. Just give us a confession so we can get it done."

Your eyes watered at the coldness in his voice. The coldness that was once warmth. You never thought Spencer could sound so cold. You didn't speak. You didn't do it. And you wouldn't get thrown into prison for something you didn't do. You heard a sigh escape from him.

"I trusted you. I want to know why. Why did you do it?"

Your heart broke as his voice cracked; you could almost see the tears fall in your vision, and you decided to speak.

"I didn't do it."

Your voice wasn't like his. You weren't cold. It wasn't in your nature. And how could they not know that? They saw you cry whenever you hurt someone, even an unsub. They were there when the sobs wracked through your body. And they thought you were capable of this?

Spencer simply stood up and left, and that's when you lifted your head. You looked directly into the mirror, where you knew someone from your team. Or well... Ex... Team... Now...

You sat there, gaze fixated on the'mirror' until someone walked in. They were trying someone new. Okay. You looked down again. You couldn't look them in the eye. You couldn't look at those you loved. They thought you did it. You knew who walked in. The glimpse of him was enough as you looked down.

Derek. You thought back to when it was'revealed' that you were the murderer. You couldn't push it out of your mind. How quickly he moved his gun to you. How quickly he pushed Spencer back. The way there was nothing but coldness in his eyes. You didn't want to see that look in his eyes again. Even if it meant never looking him in the eyes again.

"Come on. Just give us an answer. You did it. We know that. You know that. You have no alibi."

You kept your eyes on the floor. His voice was just as cold as Spencer's. Probably even colder. You just couldn't deal with that. Knowing that those who you loved the most. That they thought you were a murderer. They thought you had killed innocents. You could never.

You lifted your head slightly as he was called out; it sounded urgent as he scrambled up and left. Tears pricked at the back of your eyes. He was so eager to leave. To be away from you.

He turned the gun on you so easily.

He turned the gun on you like he was prepared.

He turned the gun on you like he didn't trust you.

He turned the gun on you like he didn't know you.

But he did. He knew everything. Because you trusted him. But he didn't trust you.

You let your head rest on the table. You were debating whether or not you would just.. Confess. They didn't believe you when you said it wasn't you. So what was the point. You didn't move your head as someone walked in. The cracking of heels signified it was either JJ or Emily. Probably Emily. You were right as she spoke.

"What is wrong with you?"

The accusation in her voice was everything you had to listen. You hummed.

"What?"

"I thought I could trust you. And you.. You turn out to be this."

The disgust was clear in her voice. She didn't even try hiding it. You lifted your head slightly. Looking up just enough to look her in the eyes.

"I didn't do it."

You repeated. Because you didn't. But they wouldn't believe that. You were the suspect to them. To them it was so obvious. They were probably discussing your betrayal behind that mirror. That wretched thing. You hated not knowing. You zoned back into reality at the sound of Emily's voice.

"Don't bullshit me. You did it."

You sighed softly. What was the point.

"Fine then. I did it."

The surprise in her eyes surprised you too. You narrowed your eyes at her. She knew something you didn't. You just dropped it as you dropped yout head.

"I did it. So just take me to whatever shithole you're planning on taking me to."

Emily let out a scoff.

"You're gonna stand up for that asshole who really did it?"

Your head snapped up in surprise.

"What?"

Emily looked at you.

"You didn't do it. We found another body. But why? Why did you say you did it?"

You stared at her. Oh. So they knew? Had they known this whole time. The softness in your gaze turned to coldness.

"You knew?"

You didn't even let her respond as you yanked yourself out of the chair.

"YOU KNEW?!"

Emily flinched at your raised voice and the abrupt standing up.

"You."

You didn't finish the sentence as you dropped back in your chair. You refused to meet her gaze. Just, this time it was for a different reason.

"Let me go."

You spoke shortly. She knew. They all knew. And they stared at you with that coldness. Emily accused you. You had heard the disgust and accusatory tone she had used. You had seen how quickly they had turned the gun on you. Especially Derek.

You didn't look at her as she uncuffed you.

You didn't look at the others as you stalked out of the police department.

You didn't look at them when you picked up your go bag and left.

You didn't look back when you got in your car and left.

You stayed in your apartment for a few days. You didn't do anything. You just thought and thought. You had had enough.

You stood up. You were tired of what they had left on you. You went and had a shower. Maybe that would make you feel better? And it did.

You decided to finally read all the voice mails the other had left you. You started with the first one you got. Hotch.

"Y/N? Hello? This is.. This is Hotch. I wanted to.. Apologize. But.."

You heard a sigh.

"Strauss wants you back at work in a week."

You paused the voice mail to look at the time that he sent it. Five days ago. So you had two days to get your shit together and get back to work. You unpaused it.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I believed it was you. I guess. We all knew deep down it wasn't you."

You paused it again and shut your phone off. Bullshit. It was absolute bullshit. You had heard them. They wholeheartedly thought it was you. But you knew you couldn't hold it off forever. Especially not when your door rang. You lifted you head to look at the door and you trudged over to it and opened it.

To your surprise, it was the whole team. They were all here. And before you could say anything, Penelope barelled into you, engulfing you into a hug. You could feel her sobs and your gaze softened. You couldn't be mad at her. It was Penelope. You looked up and smiled softly. They all looked guilty at least. You awkwardly moved to the side with Penelope still wrapped around you.

"Come in."

And as they all sat down, apologies left their mouths.

"I'm sorry-"

"I don't know how-"

"I don't expect you to forgive me but-"

You shushed them.

"It's okay."

They all stared at you. Derek being the first to speak.

"It's.. What?"

"It's okay."

You repeated. You didn't have it in you to be mad at them for long.

"I understand."

"But you shouldn't."

Spencer spoke. The guilt clear in his voice. You knew you shouldn't. But it was them. You loved them. They were like your family.

"But I do. I would've done the same."

You smiled at them. A soft smile.

They smiled back. You let out a laugh when Spencer barelled into you.

"Is this an on going trend or something? Trying to take me out?"

They all laughed. And you smiled. A genuine smile. This was your family. So. Even if they didn't really trust you. You would still love them. No matter what.

That's what a family does.

And they were your family.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Everything I wasn't

Whumptober : Day Two!

BAU!team x underappreciated!reader. Mentions of Emily Prentiss x reader

Tw: Character death, feelings of loneliness, being taken advantage of.

Word count : 1.3k

Summary : You always loved them more than they loved you. And it would be the death of you.

Strauss had warned you that it would take a while for the team to get used to you. And you understood that. But you didn't account for the fact that you were still an outsider even after a year. You shrugged it off at first that it was trust issues. You had the same.

But when you were stood there, in the rain, you knew that was not the case. You were stood outside a window. A window to a restaurant to be exact. And sat inside was the team. The team and Alex. She had been there for a week at most and they already trusted her. What did she have that you didn't? Oh. Right.

She was everything you weren't. You weren't dumb but you weren't exactly smart. Not as smart as Alex at least. You had wanted to be a part of this small family. It was what you had wished for since you heard of it. And you saw it. Their tight knit family.

A family Alex was immediately accepted into while you weren't. You couldn't blame her though. She was smart, pretty and did her job a lot better than you did. But you couldn't help but feel jealous.

The envy ate you whole as you watched them. You just stood in the window watching them. Your eyes darkened with envy. You were tired of doing everything you could to fit in. So you stopped trying.

It was the small things at first. Soon, there was no coffee left and no one restocked. And not long after, Emily and Spencer found there were no longer song lyrics on post-it-notes arriving at their desk in the morning. Penelope found that she no longer had any sticky notes left, the ones that were always restocked at the start of the month. And then it turned to larger things.

You didn't input as much, only doing so if it was needed. Not like anyone listened to you anyways, all they did was hear you, ignore you, suggest your idea, get praised for it. And they found that a case that would normally take three days took a week. And no one knew what was wrong. They all blamed it on everyone's tiredness. You almost laughed at that. Of course it was.

You always knew that you were going to die because you let them take advantage of you. But it was a habit you could never let go. You felt weird leaving them so you picked up all of the habits again. The ones you swore you would never do again.

There was one case. They had found the unsub. But what they didn't account for was there being two unsubs. So when one appeared behind them and you heard the ringing of the gun. You knew what to do.

You snapped around and ran. Not away like most would think. But to Emily. She was going to get shot. But you had forgotten. You were tired both physically and mentally. You were so tired you had forgotten to put a vest on. Yet so did the rest of the team.

And as you ran. You knew. It was either yourself or Emily. And you would choose Emily every damn time. It was the same if it was any member of the team, Hotch or you? You would pick Hotch. Spence or you? Spence. It was as easy as lifting a feather. It was almost reflex. You would pick everyone but yourself.

And as you pushed Emily aside. As she turned to shout as you. As the bullet hit you. As Emily's shout of anger turned to shouts of desperation. You smiled.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone."

Famous last words. Sure. But Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had made sure everyone had a vest on, this wouldn't have happened. But your words rang in her ears. As the light left your eyes, it rang through her mind. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

No one ever knows what they have until it was gone.

They realized that after you were gone.

They realized why the coffee was always ordered, why their files were done in the morning, why there was always their favourite snacks in the break room.

But they realized all too late. They didn't realize. Not until your desk was empty. Not until your funeral came and passed. Not until your face was framed on the wall of deaths.

They all thought of what they could've done.

Penelope cried. Maybe if she had researched into it more, she would've noticed another person so similar to the one before.

Aaron felt himself crumble. Maybe if he had remembered to get everyone to wear vests. Maybe you would still be alive.

Spencer was solemn. Maybe if he had noticed the traits of two unsubs. Maybe if he saw what he so obviously saw now before, you wouldn't be dead.

Rossi was stressed. Maybe if he had invited you to a few more dinners. You would've fell with Emily. You wouldn't have been killed.

Derek was aggressive. Maybe if he had noticed the second unsub before the gun rang, you wouldn't have had to push Emily out of the way.

Emily. And Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had moved when the gun rang out. Maybe if she had grabbed you to fall with her. Maybe if she wasn't so dense, you would still be alive.

The team was.. Different. New agents had come and gone. None of them stayed. None of them were you.

None of them would make sure Penelope had little post it notes. None of them knew how much she liked to doodle on them when she was researching.

None of them took Hotch's paperwork so that he could go to his son, Jack, earlier. None of them asked how Jack was. Jack didn't ask where his favourite agent was now.

None would pick up Spencer's rambles and show they were listening by asking questions. None of them bothered to listen past the information needed. None of them gave Spencer little things during the day for him to research about when he finished his paperwork.

None of them put recipes on Rossi's desk. None of them asked how his daughter, Joy, was. Hell, none of them knew who Joy was!

None of them made teasing jokes with Derek. None of them had the same humor as Derek. None of them would make fun of his past as he did with you.

And.. None of them loved Emily like you did. None of them asked how she was when she went silent. None of them would smile at Emily and ask her about her interests. None of them gave her a shoulder to cry on.

None of them were you. None of them made sure they slept on the jet. None of them brought in small pastries after a bad case.

None of them had loved like you did. And that was why no one lasted. Their grief had taken over. It was different than when Emily had 'died' because Emily was shown care and love throughout her experience in the team.

While you..

While you were taken advantage of. While you weren't accepted into the family they had made early enough. While they didn't love you like you loved them. You always had a lot of love to give and you gave it to them. You gave it them a lot. But they never gave anything in return. They hadn't even given you a chance. Not a single chance.

You had given your love to people who didn't deserve it. You had given your love to people who didn't appreciate it. And you had died because of it.

They thought of the things they could've done. That they should've. But it was too late. You were gone. And it was their fault.

But you knew. It was like a curse. You could never love someone equally. You would always love them so much more than they do you.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Whumptober : Day One!

Notes: This can be read as gn reader but they are confused with a female and have hair long enough to cover their face.

Tw: Blood, mentions of last torture, character death.

Summary : What happens when you get kidnapped and they arrive a little too late?

Word Count : 1.2k

Your ears perked up at the sound of crunching above you. It sounded different to the steps of the.. You didn't even know what to call him. You didn't know who he was. But he acted as if you knew him. And he kept referring to you as Leila. That wasn't your name. But as the crunching steps disappeared, new ones followed. Steps you recognized. The steps of him. You would know them anywhere. It was always a habit, learning the sound of the steps to distinguish who it was behind you.

You shook those thoughts away as the thumps of his feet got louder and louder, coming up close behind. You were tired. So tired. Your skin and clothes and anything that belonged to you was stained with blood and dirt. And you could still feel the slaps.

He was in front of you now. You shut your eyes in hopes that it would delay just a little longer for someone to find you. Anyone. You prayed to a God you didn't believe in. Prayed to multiple. You didn't know which one to pray to. You just prayed that you would make it alive.

But those prayers were dashed against sharp rocks as you hear the click of the safety on a gun being take off. This was it. No use for praying. You were gonna die. Well, you knew you would at some point. But you didn't want it to be now. When the team was so close to finding you. But you were struggling to remember now. Struggling to remember who's footsteps had crunched against the snow earlier. All you could think of was him. The crunch of his steps. The feel of his hand against your cheek as the stinging pain begun. The sound of his laughter if you let out a cry of pain. The smell of his cheap cologne as he stepped closer to you. It was taking over your mind and it didn't leave room for anything else.

You racked your brain for something nice. Something that would make dying a tiny bit easier. Your mind flashed to the team. Of course it would. They were the family you never had. The one you would spend nights in your room wishing for. You had it and now it was all going to leave.

You thought of Hotch first, he was like a father to you now. His concerns for you when you were ill one time. That one time you saw him reading a trashy romance novel, you almost smiled at that, you had teased him ruthlessly for it, never thinking he was the type of person to read that kind of thing. You thought to the one time where Hotch invited the team to watch Romeo and Juliet on Broadway and you had a great time.

You then thought to Rossi. The little pastries you found on your desk after a hard case. The time where you were watching a movie with the team and after you saw Rossi crying and the excuse he made of allergies.

You wondered how they would feel when you passed. Would they cry? You hoped that they wouldn't. You knew they would. Tears stung your eyes as you imagined their reactions and the sound of Penny's sobs. Change of topic. Back to the team.

JJ. She was like a mother. When you were sick she would always check up on you via phone. And when you were rejected another time, she was the one who comforted you, the one who made you realize you were worth so much more than your ex crush gave you.

And Emily, oh sweet Emily. She would take it the hardest. You were like sisters. And she would lose you. She had already lost enough of her family. You thought back to when you had thought you lost her. That was when you realized how important she was. It was like a part of you was missing. But that part came back. You hoped that Emily would feel like that, her missing piece would be back. But you wouldn't be back. That piece of her would be gone forever.

You were going off topic. What was the guy doing? He was just stood there. No, think back to the team. He will kill you soon. Wait.. Will he make them watch? No. He wasn't that cruel.. Right..? Then it clicked. There was always one survivor. One witness. He wanted them to feel what it was like to lose someone. Your heart clenched. The team would watch you die. You hoped it would be in their arms. No that's selfish. But you were going to die so what's the point of being selfless? There was nothing and no one to be selfless for.

Off topic again, Penny. She would take it second hardest. No. Think of the good things. You thought to the shirt you had on. Penny had made it for you one time after a particularly bad case, at least you would die with something that reminded you of her. You hoped you would be able wear something she made to your funeral.

Spence. The boy you had watched grow and get better. The one who you helped after he got addicted. He was like a younger brother to you. You would listen to his rants. You wished that maybe you would be able to die listen to the soft lull of his voice. You think to the time you found out he was afraid of birds. He said something like 'they descended from dinosaurs! They're dangerous things!'

You think to Derek. The teasing between you, the play fights you had when you were both bored. You thought to the time when you found he coached a basketball team and you had mentioned you used to play, you were then dragged to each game he coached to be an assistant, not that you minded.

You finally thought to the team as a whole. You think of the late nights out. The monopoly games that made a screaming match. You remember the sounds of them screaming your name after you.. Wait. As you were hauled to your feet you realized. That wasn't a memory. You opened you eyes and in from of you was the team, minus Penny.

They all looked horrified and shocked. You offered them a small smile but as you felt the cool metal of the gun against your blood soaked skin your smile dropped. Right. You were going to die. You kept your gaze on the team. You didn't hear the unsub. You only saw the team. Nothing else mattered and as you felt the bullet pierce your skin you kept your eyes open. You heard their screams. You dropped as the guy ran. No one cared at that moment as some agents you didn't recognize rushed past them.

Nothing else mattered as you were scooped into Hotch's arms. You looked up and smiled. Nothing else mattered as you heard Spencer's voice as he ranted. It was a nervous mechanism. And it was something he needed right now. There was only one thing you needed to do before you let go. Oh how you wished they had come quicker. But you knew that wasn't gonna happen. It was a race against the clock.

"I.. I love you guys."

You uttered it out as a goodbye and their cries didn't register as you let go of the thread of life. They were a fast team. The fastest team you knew. They always won against every race against the clock. But, this race, the only race that mattered to them. They were too slow. They had lost this race against the clock.