#getting taken advantage of

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Everything I wasn't

Whumptober : Day Two!

BAU!team x underappreciated!reader. Mentions of Emily Prentiss x reader

Tw: Character death, feelings of loneliness, being taken advantage of.

Word count : 1.3k

Summary : You always loved them more than they loved you. And it would be the death of you.

Strauss had warned you that it would take a while for the team to get used to you. And you understood that. But you didn't account for the fact that you were still an outsider even after a year. You shrugged it off at first that it was trust issues. You had the same.

But when you were stood there, in the rain, you knew that was not the case. You were stood outside a window. A window to a restaurant to be exact. And sat inside was the team. The team and Alex. She had been there for a week at most and they already trusted her. What did she have that you didn't? Oh. Right.

She was everything you weren't. You weren't dumb but you weren't exactly smart. Not as smart as Alex at least. You had wanted to be a part of this small family. It was what you had wished for since you heard of it. And you saw it. Their tight knit family.

A family Alex was immediately accepted into while you weren't. You couldn't blame her though. She was smart, pretty and did her job a lot better than you did. But you couldn't help but feel jealous.

The envy ate you whole as you watched them. You just stood in the window watching them. Your eyes darkened with envy. You were tired of doing everything you could to fit in. So you stopped trying.

It was the small things at first. Soon, there was no coffee left and no one restocked. And not long after, Emily and Spencer found there were no longer song lyrics on post-it-notes arriving at their desk in the morning. Penelope found that she no longer had any sticky notes left, the ones that were always restocked at the start of the month. And then it turned to larger things.

You didn't input as much, only doing so if it was needed. Not like anyone listened to you anyways, all they did was hear you, ignore you, suggest your idea, get praised for it. And they found that a case that would normally take three days took a week. And no one knew what was wrong. They all blamed it on everyone's tiredness. You almost laughed at that. Of course it was.

You always knew that you were going to die because you let them take advantage of you. But it was a habit you could never let go. You felt weird leaving them so you picked up all of the habits again. The ones you swore you would never do again.

There was one case. They had found the unsub. But what they didn't account for was there being two unsubs. So when one appeared behind them and you heard the ringing of the gun. You knew what to do.

You snapped around and ran. Not away like most would think. But to Emily. She was going to get shot. But you had forgotten. You were tired both physically and mentally. You were so tired you had forgotten to put a vest on. Yet so did the rest of the team.

And as you ran. You knew. It was either yourself or Emily. And you would choose Emily every damn time. It was the same if it was any member of the team, Hotch or you? You would pick Hotch. Spence or you? Spence. It was as easy as lifting a feather. It was almost reflex. You would pick everyone but yourself.

And as you pushed Emily aside. As she turned to shout as you. As the bullet hit you. As Emily's shout of anger turned to shouts of desperation. You smiled.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone."

Famous last words. Sure. But Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had made sure everyone had a vest on, this wouldn't have happened. But your words rang in her ears. As the light left your eyes, it rang through her mind. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

No one ever knows what they have until it was gone.

They realized that after you were gone.

They realized why the coffee was always ordered, why their files were done in the morning, why there was always their favourite snacks in the break room.

But they realized all too late. They didn't realize. Not until your desk was empty. Not until your funeral came and passed. Not until your face was framed on the wall of deaths.

They all thought of what they could've done.

Penelope cried. Maybe if she had researched into it more, she would've noticed another person so similar to the one before.

Aaron felt himself crumble. Maybe if he had remembered to get everyone to wear vests. Maybe you would still be alive.

Spencer was solemn. Maybe if he had noticed the traits of two unsubs. Maybe if he saw what he so obviously saw now before, you wouldn't be dead.

Rossi was stressed. Maybe if he had invited you to a few more dinners. You would've fell with Emily. You wouldn't have been killed.

Derek was aggressive. Maybe if he had noticed the second unsub before the gun rang, you wouldn't have had to push Emily out of the way.

Emily. And Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had moved when the gun rang out. Maybe if she had grabbed you to fall with her. Maybe if she wasn't so dense, you would still be alive.

The team was.. Different. New agents had come and gone. None of them stayed. None of them were you.

None of them would make sure Penelope had little post it notes. None of them knew how much she liked to doodle on them when she was researching.

None of them took Hotch's paperwork so that he could go to his son, Jack, earlier. None of them asked how Jack was. Jack didn't ask where his favourite agent was now.

None would pick up Spencer's rambles and show they were listening by asking questions. None of them bothered to listen past the information needed. None of them gave Spencer little things during the day for him to research about when he finished his paperwork.

None of them put recipes on Rossi's desk. None of them asked how his daughter, Joy, was. Hell, none of them knew who Joy was!

None of them made teasing jokes with Derek. None of them had the same humor as Derek. None of them would make fun of his past as he did with you.

And.. None of them loved Emily like you did. None of them asked how she was when she went silent. None of them would smile at Emily and ask her about her interests. None of them gave her a shoulder to cry on.

None of them were you. None of them made sure they slept on the jet. None of them brought in small pastries after a bad case.

None of them had loved like you did. And that was why no one lasted. Their grief had taken over. It was different than when Emily had 'died' because Emily was shown care and love throughout her experience in the team.

While you..

While you were taken advantage of. While you weren't accepted into the family they had made early enough. While they didn't love you like you loved them. You always had a lot of love to give and you gave it to them. You gave it them a lot. But they never gave anything in return. They hadn't even given you a chance. Not a single chance.

You had given your love to people who didn't deserve it. You had given your love to people who didn't appreciate it. And you had died because of it.

They thought of the things they could've done. That they should've. But it was too late. You were gone. And it was their fault.

But you knew. It was like a curse. You could never love someone equally. You would always love them so much more than they do you.

[grouper]

[psychopomp-namine]

day 1 in bridon really is such a day and night experience for shiguang huh.

cheng xiaoshi: there are so many kind people here! 😊 someone helped me get my phone back, someone else helped me find my dad's book, and someone else offered to introduce me to the owner of the bar that has a clue about my dad. we got rescued from a bar fight. I GOT TO MEET THE CUTE MODEL!! bridon is so nice 😊😊😊

lu guang: loop number [redacted]. the times have not changed. my nightmare keeps following me... I cannot escape the Horrors™ ☠️☠️☠️

[itsmetheabnormalone]

Saw someone say on twitter „luke experienced subdrop and needed aftercare“ and I haven’t stopped thinking about this video/interview/comment bc I REALLY hope the producers are aware how much their actors are doing for this show and are taking proper care of them (e.g. having competent intimacy coordinators).

[2isted-chocol8-art]

Yeah. Um. Can't explain myself on this one chat

-> More Outer Wilds Art!

[dykedvonte]

I like to think that Curly and Jimmy had parallel lives on earth.

That Curly was an only child and his parents died shortly after he became a captain. They got to see his biggest accomplishment but he had no one to really celebrate it with after. Jimmy has siblings and his parents and they didn’t care when he got the co-pilot job cause he’s just the back up. Sure they’re happy for him but no reason to celebrate.

They could both barely afford rent. That’s how it is that late in capitalism and the world the live. The difference is Curly could down size, Jimmy would end up down on the curb. Jimmy had flings and Curly had partners. Both fleeting but Curly pulled away and they left Jimmy.

I like to think they lived parallel to each other in a way they both noticed. Curly felt a kinship and Jimmy felt resentful. Curly worked to make a good deal with what he had and Jimmy scorned his dealt cards and wanted the hand he thought Curly had made.

[georgeharrisonsmiling]

Only a Northern Song

[diaospuppy]

Rak, sometimes it’s nothing complicated. Don’t make it seem that way. Just say whatever you’re feeling. Sometimes, the things you’re worrying about in your mind might not be like what you thought.

[jaggybot3000]

the ruler electric

(text in alt, my handwriting is shit)

[rainbowspinch]

Don’t talk to me about the rules of ancestor titles I’m a rapscallion

[naarlar]

I don’t get akeshu / shuake at all.

Like I get it from a typical “fandom loves the enemies to lovers trope” perspective but in all honesty I don’t get the insane brainrot the persona 5 fandom has for this ship.

Like do I think Joker cares for Akechi? Yes.

Do I think he was genuinely conflicted/tempted by Maruki’s ultimatum? Yes.

Do I think they have a genuine relationship and see a lot of themselves in each other and actually somewhat understand each other? Yes.

That being said, I really don’t see how anyone can look past the fact that Akechi tried to kill Joker. And okie fine enemies to lovers, fandom’s favorite ship aside, I don’t see how Joker can actually want a full on relationship (like romantic) with this dude when Futaba, Sojiro, and Haru are like right there?

This may just be me but I reallllllllly wouldn’t be friends with someone who is friends (hell forget even in a romantic relationship) with someone who horribly hurt me.

And I don’t think Joker loves Akechi more than Futaba, Sojiro, or Haru. Especially Sojiro and Futaba. Those two are like his family, and Akechi is responsible for their suffering.

Like… it’s kind of one or the other. Joker can’t be friends/dating Akechi without horribly betraying Futaba, Sojiro, and Haru. That’s just how I see it (but I’m open to hearing other perspectives!)

[orangeisthecolorofblood]

i love natsume yuujinchou so much but also reading it does feel like someone has carefully pried your heart out of your chest and cracked it open like a pomegranate, and is now gently, adoringly, cradling it in their hands in front of you

[rottenk1sses]

Youre so real i need to do crazy things to re2 leon💔 making him cry and not understand what’s happening to him sighhh

kissing shots of alcohol into his pretty mouth till he’s stumbling and grabbing your shoulders for leverage. he’s a giggling mess, hiccuping into your neck and slurring his words, until you’ve got him in the bar bathroom and you’re wringing three consecutive orgasms out of his cock while he squirms on the sink and shakes his head, asking what’s going on but moaning whenever you touch him:/ hips reflexively bucking with each merciless pump of your hand on him, and then the tears start coming

[pingchitters]

ive made an executive decision that chitter posts are called cheets. i dont know if it was the right decision but ive made it.

i wanted to do some silly fan interractions and go SO carried away this is incredibly self indulgent <3

[potatobugz]

Lucky is he, Who lives unaware

[paint-it-dead]

i would say that denji and casca should open a survivors club, but then again im pretty sure if you put them in the same room together they'd sit on opposite ends like cornered animals growling at each other...