#speaking of uni I’m so scared
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velmashaircut · 2 years ago
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It’s day two of my holiday and I’m so bored. I’ve cleaned my room, cut my hair, continued reading Dracula but I feel so unfulfilled. I woke up at 12, ate lunch and realised I had nothing I wanted to do. I think I’ll just have to force myself back into my hobbies even if I don’t feel like doing them so I have something to do. I can’t hang out with my friends either because they still have exams and even when those exams are complete, it’s not like I can hang out with them everyday. I’ll probably start going on walks just to waste time.
I began applying for jobs but no one will hire me because I have no work experience, I tried applying for volunteering so I could get experience but there’s no spaces available anywhere. I’m offering unpaid labour and nobody wants it 😭. Im probably just going to try and fake having work experience and hope for the best.
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wendigoons-shoelaces · 2 years ago
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omg me after getting my masters degree on palaeontology :O lol
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Teach about anything! There is always somebody willing to pay you for it. - By the makers of WordPress.com.
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malachitezmeyka · 1 year ago
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As a result of hormones, being generally exhausted from lack of sleep, and the crushing pressure of the realisation that in a year I’ll be a legal adult, I have spent the last half an hour sobbing into my pillow. Fun times all around
#I don’t know what I want to do with my life#I don’t want to do anything with it#I’m so fucking emotionally unstable I can barely handle three hours of school a day#and you want me to go to college or uni? to get a job after? to live a life where I can’t afford to randomly break down in the evenings?#and for so long when I said ‘I don’t know’ the answer was ‘that’s okay#you have time’#but that answer’s changed now#I don’t have time#I need to decide which exams I’m doing right now so the school knows which lessons to give me#I need to decide if I’m leaving after this year or staying so I can go to uni after#I need to make so many fucking decisions and I just cannot handle it#and it’s so terrifying that the ‘when you grow up’ has been dropped from the ‘what do you wanna be’ discussion#because I have grown up. this is it. I’ll be an adult next year#and I’m still as lost as I was when I was 12#while everyone else seems to have figured it out#at least they can give a straight answer when asked#meanwhile all I can say is ‘a history major’ all the while not knowing if I truly mean it#I wanted to go to art school a year ago. an English teacher six months before that#now I realise none of those things speak to me#and I’m scared#I’m so fucking scared. of failing. of never figuring myself out. of ending up as a worthless good for nothing#like my dad says I will#even my little sister has her shit together. she’s the one he’s putting all faith in now#while I just. exist. completely lost and confused and feeling everyone’s disappointed eyes on me at all times#nothing can capture my attention for more than a few months. I can’t realistically put myself through four years of study#there is nothing I love doing in this world. I can’t even bring myself to indulge in hobbies most of the time#let alone turn anything into a job or field of study. it feels like I’m trying to brute force my way through life#like a toddler who keeps shoving a shape into the wrong hole and not understanding why it’s not working#I just want someone to tell me what I should do. to read my mind like they’re Janet from the good place and tell me what would suit me best#but that’s impossible. the world doesn’t work like that. I’m on my own. and I’ve reached the tag limit so rant over. I suppose
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preiyers · 5 days ago
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♱ TAKE A CHANCE — LUIGI MANGIONE X READER
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SUMMARY: your friend group takes a trip to the beach during summer break and one night, luigi just takes the chance to tell you how he feels.
WARNINGS: friends to lovers, making out, humping in the hot tub
A/N: i'll be using random names for their friends and a part of this is inspired by a scene in to all the boys i've loved before and this post
show a little loving, shine a little light on me
you and your friends have been staying at the beach for almost a week now. you'd be leaving in two days.
the six of you were currently finishing dinner and then planning on walking around the beach and getting ice cream, but things changed when the group insisted on resting and staying in the hotel instead.
as the group walked back, luigi was getting teased by the guys as you walked with the girls of the group, looking around the beach and talking.
"come on man, just take the chance while we're still here and tell her how you feel." marcus tells him and he just shrugs.
"i don't know, it might change things." luigi says with a hand rubbing the back of his neck. he was interested in you the moment you asked him for help on a computation — the way your eyes lit up when he said he'd help you and how happy you got when he gave you an example and you got it right.
he still remembered.
little did he know, the girls were also giving you the same talk.
"you never know y/n, it could be a good type of change!" they all agreed as one of the girls nudged you.
as you guys walked, you came across a souvenir shop. you stayed outside, looking up at the sky as the wind blew your hair. marcus gives luigi a look to hang back and stay with you which he was already going to do.
“hey,” luigi said from behind, startling you a bit which makes you jump. “i didn’t mean to scare you.” you both chuckle.
it was quiet between you two for a moment. you didn’t know what to say, how to start the conversation and so did he. the sound of the waves crashing and the rustling of leaves filled your ears.
until he spoke again. “are you okay?” he turns his head to look at you, inching a bit closer.
you could see from your peripheral vision that he was looking at you so you turned to completely face him. you just smile in response and nod.
“just thinking about how we have to go back to uni after all this,” you sighed, looking back up at the sky and crossing your arms. “i don’t know, i’m gonna miss it,” you glance back at him and he was still looking at you. the look he was giving you was something you’ve never seen before, it was unreadable but it made you feel something at the pit of your stomach. “i’m gonna miss everything.”
it felt like there was a magnet pulling the two of you closer and closer or if the tiredness was just getting to you and you were imagining things.
“i get that, nights where we’d just spend having fun together and not stressing over assignments,” he said softly, placing an arm on your shoulder, pulling you even closer. “i wish we could stay here forever.” he looks down at you and your heads are closer now.
tracy, one of your friends looked out for you guys and told your friends about it which got them to all smile at the pair of you, giving each other knowing looks. “it’s so happening,” marcus mouthed at the group.
you smile up at him, you notice he’s looking between your eyes and your lips. your stomach churns and immediately break away, afraid of what could possibly happen and your friends could be watching.
“we… we should head back, they’re probably looking for us.” you force out a laugh, rubbing your hand on your forearm.
after the group was done checking out the souvenir shop, all of you went back to the hotel. you and luigi not speaking a word at all. they all noticed and tried to get one of you two to talk but just got smiles from the two of you.
“i’m gonna stay in the jacuzzi for a while, you guys can go.” luigi tells the group once you’ve reached the hotel.
his gaze finds you, but your head was down, not wanting to look into his eyes. you could feel the awkwardness in the group and some of your friends glancing between you and luigi.
he sighs and parts ways with the group.
no one spoke during the elevator ride and when you guys were walking to your rooms. until tracy reached for your arm. “what happened?” she pulled you back from entering your room.
you shrug, “i don’t know. we were talking, it was good and then i felt like something was going to happen,” you looked down, playing with your fingers. “i got scared.”
she places a hand on your shoulder as a way to comfort you. “aw hun, it’s alright.“ she pulls you into a hug and then continues speaking. “but you do know, that boy does like you, and i don’t know exactly when it started, but i know he’s liked you for a while now.” the two of you pull away and she couldn’t read the expression on your face.
“i should go to him,” she nods at you. “you think he’s still there” you ask and she instantly nods, removing her hands from your body.
“yes go right now, you got this!” she says, gently pushing you to leave.
you rush to the elevator, press the button quickly, looking up which elevator is closest to your floor level. once an elevator opened, you immediately went in and pressed the button to the floor. you mentally prepared yourself for what you’d say to him.
luigi, i like you. no. that was too forward. luigi, remember when we-
the elevator doors open which cuts your inner monologue off. you focused on your breathing as you walked to the area where the pool and jacuzzi were.
and there he was. his arms up on the tub’s rim, back facing you. as you walked, it was like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest any moment.
“hey,” you said softly, him now being the one startled.
he turns his neck to look at your figure, going closer to the tub.
“hi.” he responds with a small smile on his face.
you walk to where the ladder was, climbing and sitting on the edge of the tub, taking off your shorts to put your legs in.
“i’m surprised you’re here,” he says, looking down at the pool then up at you. “thought i made you upset or something.”
you look away as he said the last part, watching the bubbles come up.
“no i’m okay. why would i be upset at you?” you looked up, his eyes still avoiding you which makes you just want to tell him how you felt already.
he bites his lip, then turns his head to face you. you can’t seem to read the look on his face, the same as earlier’s. he just shrugs. “i don’t know y/n, i just thought,” he shakes his head and closes his eyes.
and you already knew.
you took your tank top off and got in the tub completely now. the two of you sat at opposite sides of the hot tub.
“do you remember how we first met?” he asks you, opening his eyes to look at you.
you nod, waiting for him to continue.
“you asked me for help on the chemistry computation and you were so happy when i said yes,”
“and you even offered to tutor me for free,” you smile at the memory. “it was freshman year; i knew no one in class cause i enrolled late and everyone seemed to like you for some reason.” you teased, and he shakes his head with a smile on his face.
“yeah, well, what can i say, i’m a nice dude.” he joked, which made you roll your eyes and scoff jokingly. “uh, well, on that same day, i told marcus you were really pretty.” he avoided your eyes once again, and you just blinked at him.
“since then, i’ve liked you. i liked you when we were partnered up for projects, i liked you even when you made comments about my frat, i liked you when you’d give me massages when i’d get back pains, liked you even when you dated your ex and cried a whole week over the break-up,” he listed down which made you blush. it felt like he could go on and on the whole night with the list.
your gaze softened as he smiled at you.
“what i’m trying to say is, it’s always been you.” his breath hitches in his throat, the weight on his shoulders now gone after telling you what he truly felt.
the two of you looked at each other for a moment before you moved to where he was seated until you were in between his legs. the tension between the two of you could be cut by a knife. you take a breath before speaking up.
“i like you too lu.” you place a hand on his cheek and carress it. he smiles at you before grabbing your leg and wrapping it around his torso, now you were face to face with each other. the light from the pool, shining on your faces.
“there’s no one like you, y/n.” he whispers before crashing his lips onto yours.
the kiss started off slow and steady, his hands slowly moving up from your legs to your waist while you wrapped an arm around his shoulders, trying to get him closer to your body if that was even possible at your current position.
your lips were moving in sync, tilting your head a bit as you start to feel his tongue trying to slip in. once he does, he glides one of his hands to your ass, squeezing it a bit before placing it on top of his straining bulge.
he moves your hips as his tongue explores your mouth. you moan into the kiss, fingers finding its way to his curly hair and tugging on it softly.
never would you have expected this to happen during your trip, but at the same time, this is all you've wanted.
he's the first to pull away, leaning his head on your forehead, still keeping your bodies close to each other. the both of you try to catch your breath.
you giggle a little as you place your hands on each side of his face, caressing his cheeks before placing pecks on his moles and then his lips.
"come on, let's continue this in my room."
lmk if u wanna be added to the taglist!!
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2hightocare · 8 months ago
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DOWN BAD! 02
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Synopsis: Despite undeniable chemistry, your guys’ relationship remains undefined, caught between playful teasing to deeper, unspoken longing.
Pairings: bad boy! jungkook x fem! reader
Genre: friends to lovers. college au. slowburn!
Warnings: angst, drug use, profanity, explicit content, talks about abusive home, fighting, arguing, screaming, crying, flashbacks, oc and jk are nineteen (freshmen’s in uni) mentions of death, daddy/mommy issues.
a/n: GOSHHHHHHH! pray for my girl yn😓😓 she’s down bad and she fr ain’t getting up. Left you guys on a cliffhanger hehe. enjoy🤍🤍
01! playlist
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"What do you want?" He says, the smallest glint of amusement on his face has Jungkook's stomach recoiling.
"The regular," Jungkook found himself saying, reaching into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "I don't have opioids. My supplier said there was a shortage—want to try some new shit?" Yoongi says as he balances his cigarette on his lips, looking into a cabin.
"You've tried snow before, right?" He looks up at Jungkook who stands there. "No, I told you l don't fuck with that shit," Jungkook shakes his head, putting his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans.
"It's on me, just try it," Yoongi hands Jungkook a small bag filled with white powder. "Just snort it and let it do its thing, boy," Yoongi chuckles as he watches Jungkook look down at the drug in his palm. "It won't kill you if that's what you're thinking," he continues, taking a drag from his cigarette before exhaling.
Jungkook's mind immediately goes to you as the words leave Yoongi's mouth.
“You’re going to kill yourself,” you scream, your hands pulling on your hair as Jungkook watches silently—his heart breaking as he sees the tear fall from your eye. Whatever he wants to say stays stuck in his throat.
“I’ll be fine,” Jungkook finds himself muttering, a loud scoff heard from you as you hold his face in your hands, making him look up at you. “Tell me what’s wrong, fuck! I’ll fix it, just tell me,” you cry out. Jungkook watches as your legs give out and you drop to the floor in front of him.
Jungkook feels his stomach drop, his heartbeat stops, and his mind goes blank. He wants to drop to his knees and beg you to not care and run away as far as you can from him, but the selfish part of him wants you to stay.
“Baby,” Jungkook slurs, the drugs in his system not letting him speak normally. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he apologizes again for the hundredth time in the past few days. Jungkook drops beside you, removing your hands from your face as another sob racks through your body. Your eyes red and puffy as tears continue to cascade down.
Jungkook knows nothing about love, but there’s you. The highlight of his days, the only reason he even wants to wake up in the morning.
He hates how he drags you along with him—in every bad decision he makes. Jungkook’s life hasn’t been easy; an abusive household isn’t something anybody wants, but he’s one of the unlucky ones who got it. He knows he’s a legal adult and can move out, but his feet stay glued inside that house because of her, his mom.
God. Jungkook has seen everything fucked up in the piece of shit he calls his house. The blows his mom would take from the man whose blood Jungkook carries. He wasn’t a father to him, that’s for sure. Screams and fighting are the only things his house is filled with. He never heard a bedtime story or got a good night hug. The hug was replaced by a hit on the cheek, jaw, face—or anywhere his dad could get his hands on.
Jungkook blames his dad for the way he is, and every time he looks at you, he imagines the what ifs. Jungkook has done everything he could do to push you away, but instead of leaving, you stayed. It’s scared the shit out of him.
He’s in love with you. Jungkook has never felt anything more in his life than his love for you—it’s almost pathetic how much you make him feel. If your love were a drug, Jungkook would do it every day, every hour, and every minute instead of all the shit he put in his system to forget.
Your love is pure and innocent—everything that Jungkook isn’t. Every time he looks at you, he’s afraid he will break you. He wishes you could realize how unfixable he is and leave—but instead, you’re on your knees begging for him to be better.
How badly did he want to be better; so he could be with you.
“Stop saying sorry and stop doing it, fuck,” you sob, your fist holding onto his hoodie—your knuckles turning white from fear that if you let him go, he’ll vanish.
“You’re better than this. I know you are,” you cry, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, wetting his hoodie with your tears. “Please stop, you could die.” you beg desperately, like a child would.
“Shh,” he comforts, his hand rubbing your back as you sob into him, “I’m sorry.”
As Jungkook walked, the guilt inside him consumed him more and more. The hurt expression on your face after he disrespected you remained etched in his mind, feeling like someone was poking his heart with a needle with each step he took.
Similarly, the weight of the small bag in the pocket of his sweater sent a sense of panic through his body. He hadn’t planned on taking it, but the moment it was placed in his hand, he couldn’t bring himself to give it back. Instead, he bit his tongue and shoved it into his pocket.
His heart sank as an image flashed in his mind of what your reaction would be if you ever found out. With a shake of his head, he buried the thought deep within him before reaching the main door of his house.
Jungkook’s hand trembles as he holds onto the doorknob. He had nowhere else to go, it was either yours or this. He felt his throat close up as his mind went back to you, his heart screaming for you. To turn around and run back to you—like always, his safe space. The only place where he could let his guard down.
The aching sensation in his chest reminded him of the first time he told you about his dad. You were both seventeen—laying on the carpet of your room, staring up at the ceiling. The broken expression on your face after he confided in you made him feel worse than any hit he had ever taken.
“Did you seriously get into another fight?” you groaned as you examined his face, the purple and blue marks beginning to form twisting your stomach in knots. “Who was it this time?” you frowned, your hand reaching out to touch his bruised cheek.
“Didn’t fight anyone. I actually hit myself with the car door,” the lie flowed smoothly out of his mouth.
“A door?” You raised an eyebrow, not fully believing him. Jungkook had a tendency to throw the first punch after someone lightly touched him—he had more suspensions and run ins with the police than anyone could count. Every time you saw him, there was another bruise decorating his skin, always brushed off like it was no big deal.
“Who was it?” You tried again, your face turning to him.
Jungkook's eyes remained locked with the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. “I can’t tell you,” he mumbled softly into the darkness.
“Why not? Is it a secret?” You quipped, scooting closer to his side—your finger tracing his features as he let out a deep breath. “It’s a really big secret,” he hushed, to which you only nodded eagerly.
“I can keep a secret,” you smiled, your heart beating fast in your chest as you noticed the proximity between you two. You raised a pinky into the air. “Pinky promise,” you bit your lip anxiously, watching him interlock his pinky with yours. “Okay, now tell me.”
“My dad,” he said, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“What?” You stuttered out, hoping you had heard him wrong.
“My dad, he's abusive,” he restated. The color drained from your face, and Jungkook saw it.
Sadness written all over your face. Words didn’t come out when you opened your mouth; instead, an ugly cry replaced the words.
“That’s why I can’t stand someone’s hands on me,” Jungkook says, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to escape the pain in his heart. It felt as if he was being kicked and thrown.
“Fuck.. I always touch you,” you bit your lip, trying to contain your sobs. “Your touch is the only touch that doesn’t repulse me, baby. So if you plan on not touching me, don’t,” Jungkook quickly interjected, grabbing your hand and intertwining it with his.
Jungkook loved your touch; your fingers on his skin felt like heaven. It almost confused him how much he looked forward to it—sometimes he found himself initiating it. You were the only exception with such privilege; anyone else who laid a finger on him sent a sense of nausea and shivers down his body.
“I didn’t know. I’m so fucking sorry, baby. Let me help you.. we can tell the police, he deserves to be in jail. Please,” you sobbed, placing your palm on his cheek.
“You think I don’t know he needs to go to jail? For all I know, he should be put on a electric chair,” Jungkook spat out, shoving your hand away from his face.
“And fuck. Yes, my mom knows. She fucking gets hit too,” he rambled, his chest heaving as he tried to look anywhere in your room that wasn’t you, and for the first time, you saw him break down.
As Jungkook crumbled down with a loud sob, his hands cover his face as his shoulders shake as he weeps, you wasted no time dropping to your knees and pulling him into you, whispering reassuring words in his ear.
"She doesn't leave," he cried. "I keep telling her he's going to kill her if she doesn't leave, but she stays." The cracks in his voice mirrored the cracks in your heart as you listened, feeling the weight of his pain, as the double meaning clicks in your head.
"And I can't leave. Who's going to protect her if I'm not there?" he sobbed quietly, his hands tightening around your waist. "I'm scared that if I leave for too long, I'll come back to a house with a dead body in it," he confessed, sending shivers down your spine.
"Baby," you cooed, tears streaming down your cheeks,
"we should tell the police. They'll help you. I promise."
But his response shattered your hopes.
"No," he croaked out, untangling himself from your embrace.
"Listen to me. If you even think about telling a policeman what I just told you, I swear to god yn, I will never fucking forgive you," Jungkook shook, his face contorted with pain and panic.
"I trust you enough to tell you, but I swear if you say anything about this to anyone, we're done. Whatever the fuck we have, it's done. I will never fucking forgive you."
Jungkook pushes the door open, and he’s met with silence. Without thinking twice, he rushes to his mom's room, slamming the door open to be met with her limp body on the bed.
His heart stops beating, and suddenly everything stops—his hand trembles as he makes his way to her. He nudges her once.
“Mom,” Jungkook calls, only to be met with silence.
“Mom,” he tries again. She stirs in her sleep.
“Jungkook?” She croaks, her voice hoarse as she peeks from her lying position. Jungkook's heart picks up again, letting out a sigh of relief.
“Mom, are you okay? What happened?” Jungkook asks, dropping beside her on the bed. His fingers move her dark hair off her face carefully, revealing a bruise on her cheek.
“He hit you again?” Jungkook lets out a growl, his fist tightening beside him.
“I made him mad. It’s not his fault,” she defends, almost automatically making Jungkook scoff. “Mom, that's not an excuse!” He grits his teeth.
“He isn’t a bad man, Jungkook. He's still your father,” she sighs, the look of tiredness clear on her face as she winces when she moves to her side. Jungkook watches dumbfounded.
“You know, you remind me of him,” she shakes out a laugh, the whole sentence feeling like a punch in the stomach for Jungkook. The more he tries to breathe, the more difficult it becomes. “He was just like you, you know? Every time I look at you—it’s like I’m seeing him. He is a good man underneath it all, Jungkook. You have to understand that I could never leave him. I’m in love with him,” she continues, and every word feels like a hit in the gut.
“W-what do you mean.. I’m just like him?” Jungkook stutters, his throat drying up and the familiar feeling of tears picking up in his eyes have him clawing his nails into his palms.
“Do you think when I met your dad, he treated me wrong?” She finally locks eyes with Jungkook. The light in her eyes she once had is now gone, replaced with dull, tired eyes. “He was gentle with me, he was sweet, caring, he was everything to me. He’s still everything to me,” a tear rolls down her cheek, making Jungkook suck in a breath.
“What about me?” Jungkook's voice cracks, the knot in his throat tightening as he watches his mom shake her head.
“Am I not everything to you, Mom?” Another tear falls, followed by more.
“It’s more complicated than you think, Jungkook,” she sighs. Jungkook feels his heart crack into a million pieces as he watches the woman who brought him into this life discard him.
“He’s going to kill you one day,” Jungkook speaks, wiping the tears from his eyes before clearing his voice. “He’s going to kill you, and you’re going to let it happen.”
“He wouldn’t do that to me,” she whispers into the silence.
“He wouldn’t?” A shocked laugh leaves Jungkook's lips as he can’t believe what he just heard. “He fucking wouldn’t? He fucking hits you? Aren’t you fucking scared that one day he throws the wrong punch?” Jungkook shouts, anger taking over.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” she snaps. “I’m your mother, and you don’t get to fucking talk to me like that.”
“Well, you’re a shitty mother. A good mother would put their child first. The only reason I’m still here is because of you!” Jungkook snaps back, his frustration growing stronger as he watches his mom stay motionless.
“I keep coming back because I’m scared he’ll kill you. But apparently, you don’t give a fuck,” he breathes out, his hand tugging on his hair—feeling almost manic at the lack of his mother's reaction.
“Every hit he took on me, you blamed it on me. When all I did was try to protect you. But you always choose him. So fucking next time he comes in through those doors and has his way with you, don’t come running or yelling my name to come and save you,” Jungkook spits out before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.
Jungkook's mind kept racing, never shutting up for a moment, allowing him to think. His brain was filled with repetitions of everything his mom just said. The words "he was just like you, you know? Every time I look at you-it's like I'm seeing him" kept getting repeated in his head over and over again without a break.
Screams of his mom asking for him to save her echoed in his brain, the weight of his guilt and the haunting memories that plagued his mind had Jungkook pulling out the small baggie from his sweater, moving to the small desk in his room.
Jungkook dropped the white powder on the surface, making a line. Without hesitation, Jungkook leaned over, pinching one of his nostrils before snorting.
A sharp burning, stinging sensation spread through Jungkook's nose as he sniffed, rubbing off the remaining powder.
Jungkook dropped onto his bed in a star position as he stared at the ceiling, the feeling of numbness taking over his body. His muscles relaxed as the drug entered his bloodstream, sending a sense of euphoria—a warm feeling spread throughout his body, making him groan in pleasure.
And for once, the voices finally stopped.
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It was embarrassing how you found yourself looking for the man you were in love with every corner of the campus. You started with the lockers and hallways, peeking through every classroom, hoping you’d catch a glimpse of the boy who left you standing in your angel costume Saturday night.
You had debated on running after him; the guilt that weighed you down from the slap was intense. Your touch was supposed to be his only gateway, instead, you used it against him to hurt him the same way his dad does. As messed up as his words were, it didn’t compare.
“Have you seen Jungkook?” You ask, poking Dahlia on the shoulder. She turns to look at you, mouth filled with food as she nods without saying anything.
“You have?” Your eyebrow raises as she continues to nod eagerly.
“Y-yeah, he’s ou-outside, in the corner,” Dahlia finally says, swallowing her food. You throw a small ‘thank you’ and rush outside.
As you run to the corner where everybody meets up to smoke, you curse out loud as you trip on the crack of the pavement before changing your pace to walking instead.
Your eyes meet his in an instant as you pass the corner, the lit-up joint hanging from his lips. You look around to see Taehyung and Jimin with worried looks on their faces. As you walk closer to them, Jungkook passes the joint to his friend before crossing his arms in front of him, flexing his muscles. If you weren’t so mad at him, you would find it hot.
“What’s up, pretty,” Taehyung says, trying to break the awkward silence as he takes a hit off the joint before passing it to Jimin, who looks uncomfortable as hell.
“Hey,” you acknowledge them both, giving polite head nods before turning your attention to the boy in the middle, his eyes bloodshot red with a small grin decorating his handsome face.
“What’s so funny?” You snap, crossing your arms in front of you. A loud laugh slips out of his mouth, shocking the boys beside him. “Hi baby,” he says, his eyes dropping low as he moves closer to you. You push him away with a hand on his chest, making him pout.
“Rude,” he playfully scoffs, leaning back onto the wall and reaching for the blunt on Taehyung’s fingers as he raises an eyebrow at you.
“That’s enough,” you say, taking away the joint from Taehyung’s hand as Jungkook was about to reach for it.
“This is our cue to leave. Let’s go,” Taehyung hurries off, pulling on his blonde friends arm, before they both mutter something under their breaths as they disappear around the corner.
“Don’t throw that, it’s some good shit, and I just bought it,” Jungkook chuckles, reaching for it only for you to push him away.
“Alright then,” you pull the rolled-up paper up to your lips and take a drag. Jungkook's face drops, and suddenly nothing is funny. His hand immediately shoots up and yanks the joint out of your mouth before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jungkook roars, watching you cough loudly as white smoke rushes out of your mouth.
“Fuck, what were you thinking?” He panics, rubbing a hand over your back to coax your coughing fit. Your throat and chest burn as you continue to cough.
“Don’t ever do that shit again, do you hear me? It’s not good for you,” Jungkook sighs, his rough hand drawing circles down your back as you finally calm down.
“So, you agree it’s not good for you?” You say, your voice hoarse from all the coughing. “Let’s not do this right now, yn,” he pulls on your arm as he walks you to the parking lot. “You never want to do anything,” you yank your arm from his grip. Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying his best not to snap at you.
“Just get in the car, baby,” he continues, opening the passenger door for you. Instead, you push him off and slam the door shut.
“You’re high as fuck; you can’t drive, asshole,” you snap, throwing your arms in the air in anger. “And you’re not?” he clenches his teeth. “I took one hit,” you shove a finger in his face.
“Yeah, a big-ass one. Before you know it, you’ll be high, so get in the fucking car or I’ll put you in it myself,” he snaps. “You wouldn’t dare,” you spit out, and before you know it, your ass is in the air as he hauls you over his shoulder.
“I wouldn’t?” Jungkook mutters under his breath as he opens the car door and sits you down on the seat, reaching for the seatbelt and strapping you in. “Where are you taking me?” You roll your eyes as he sits down beside you.
“To your fucking house,” he says, pulling out of the parking lot of the school and driving you home.
The whole car ride is filled with silence; neither of you decides to utter a word. The moment the car stops in front of your house, you hurriedly unbuckle your seatbelt and open your door before sprinting to your door, unlocking it, and disappearing inside. Jungkook almost screams into his hands, wanting to throw a whole tantrum in this car, but he decides otherwise.
With a loud sigh, he turns off the car, turns to the back seat, gets his sweater, and jumps out of the car. He takes the same route he always did when he showed up at your house, climbing himself over the picket fence before climbing the tree next to your window.
The window is opened as you sit on the ground of your room, your knees up to your chest. Jungkook throws his sweater in first before jumping in.
Then his heart dropped, your small hands hold the tiny bag that was in the pocket of his sweater that had fallen out.
“What’s this, Jungkook?” You voice out, and Jungkook doesn’t miss the wavering of your voice as you finally look up at him. His heart might just have been stabbed by your shocked expression, the betrayal and the pain etched in your expressions send a shooting pain in his heart.
“Baby-“
“Don’t fucking baby me! What the fuck is this?” You interrupt him, your hand shaking as you think of every possible drug that could be in the bag. Jungkook didn’t reply; the words suddenly died in his mouth.
“Is this a way of pushing me away?” You ask, tears starting to flow down your cheeks, mixing with your anger and heartbreak.
“Did something happen at home again? Why? Fuck, why?” You cry, a soul-crushing sob that comes out of you, which has Jungkook coming back to his senses. He feels like shit, and that word doesn’t even cover half of what he’s feeling.
“Please tell me why? I’ll do anything. Let me help you, just fucking stop doing this shit, baby.” You cry, pulling his body to yours, wrapping your arms around his waist, crying into his uniform.
“Use me, scream at me, tell me horrible shit if that helps. Just don’t ever touch any drugs, Jungkook. I don’t know what I would do if you died.” You whisper the last words as you sob into his arms, begging for him to stop. “I’m never leaving your side, so get that into your head. If this is your way of pushing me away, it won’t work.” You sob.
And that’s where everything clicks for Jungkook. His mind thinks back to his mom, “You have to understand that I could never leave him. I’m in love with him,” and his heart drops to the ground. All the walls he took so long to build collapse. He was just like his dad—Jungkook wanted to say he wasn’t, but here he was, hurting you, making you sob into his arms, begging for him to change. The same thing his mom does anytime his father would get drunk.
“I’m not good for you,” Jungkook finally speaks, his hands cupping your face. “I’m not good for you.” He repeats, and you shake your head disapprovingly repeatedly. “Stop.” You cry, your tears wetting Jungkook's palms as he repeats the same thing over again.
“You deserve someone so much fucking better, baby,” Jungkook whispers, dropping his forehead to yours. “You deserve so much better than me. I can’t give you anything, baby, besides heartache and pain.” He continues as you repeat ‘no’ over and over again under your breath.
“Please don’t leave me,” you cry, as he untangles himself from you, pushing your hand away gently when you try to reach for him.
“Fuck, Jungkook, don’t leave. Stay the night; we’ll talk about this in the morning.” That was the last thing Jungkook heard as he jumped out of the window and ran to his car, leaving his heart in the hands of the girl crying on the floor, praying for him to be safe.
2K notes · View notes
missnxthingg · 29 days ago
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Hiii, i saw that you wanted some requests with Lando:
Lando and Reader met through a mutual friend. They met only about 3-4 months ago and have been talking almost every day since then. Both have fallen for each other but are too scared to admit it, feeling like it would be too soon/ quick. One day or night, after another win for Lando where the reader was invited to the Grand Prix and staying at the same hotel, they spend some time alone, just talking. At some point, the conversation becomes quiet, and Lando suddenly says, "I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the shit out of me."
WE CAN'T BE (JUST) FRIENDS ✮ LN4
pairing: Lando Norris x Female!Reader (strangers to lovers) summary: After meeting each other through mutual friends, Lando Norris and Y/N L/N became strangely close in such little time words: 4.5K - warnings: lots of fluff, just a tiny bit of swearing and not proof read author's notes: I thought this one was already up for a loooong time. So that being said, I'm sorry for taking too long to get to your request. I just loved it so much, that I wanted to make sure everything was perfectly written for you. This one is to celebrate the WCC!
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The loud music and the lights of the club were making Lando’s head spin, but he enjoyed that feeling. Every summer break, he finds some time to escape from his routine and run away with his friends to enjoy his days and nights in Ibiza. Tonight it wasn’t different; he had been having the time of his life with his friends so far and, at that moment, he was being dragged around the club by Pietra, his best friend’s girlfriend, as she looked around for one of her friends.
“I swear to you, she’s the sweetest girl in the world”, she told him earlier that day, while they were lounging by the pool and enjoying the sun in Spain. “She’s this girl I met in uni, and it’s pathetic how much you’re alike. I’ve actually been dying to introduce her to our friend group”.
“P, I know what you’re doing”, Lando chuckled. “And I’m not looking forward into being in a relationship at the moment, despite yours and Max’s attempts”.
On the past few months, his best friend and his girlfriend have made it their personal commitment to find Lando a new girl. Even though he was living a dreamy life, with success, wealth and every girl he ever wanted, they both knew it got very lonely for his friend. They wanted him to find someone who would care and love him as he deserves, and couldn’t help but try helping him in this journey. But after getting his heart broken in his last relationship, he wasn’t really interested in dating at the moment.
“Fuck, no! I don’t want you to date her. Despite her being, literally, your clone, I really want Y/N to just be part of our friend group. Because she’s a really nice person that I think we would love to be around, and she doesn’t have many friends since she moved to London recently”, Pietra explained. “And I would actually be very happy if you don’t fuck things up by trying to sleep with her”.
Lando knew that Pietra was lying; deep down, it was just another one of her schemes to try playing cupid in his life. But he couldn’t help but feel intrigued by her story. If she thought this girl was so special to the point where she didn’t want him to hit on her, then there must be something really good in her. That’s why he was now looking for Y/N around the busy and hot club in Ibiza after an entire afternoon wondering what she would be like.
“Oh, there she is!”, Pietra pointed out to a girl looking a little bit lost at the club, right close to the entrance. She smiled once she spotted her friend, relieved to finally see a familiar face after an entire day alone. “You finally made it! I’m so glad you’re here”
“I know, right? It’s good to finally escape our rainy London and get a tan”, the girl giggled and suddenly her eyes caught Lando’s at mid-sentence. He was speechless at the sight of her, forgetting how to speak, breath or move, for that matter.
Y/N was clearly one of the most attractive girls he had ever seen in his life. That night, she was wearing a strapless light green, almost white, dress that perfectly highlighted her curves. Her hair was tied in a bun, and it helped to show off her tan bikini lines. She just exhales a sweet aura, and he was instantly fascinated by her. If she was half of the things Pietra said about her, then Lando was sure she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
“Lando, this is Y/N, my friend from uni that I was talking about earlier”, Pietra introduced. “And Y/N, this is Lando, Max’s best friend”.
“It’s very nice to finally meet you, Lando. P talks very highly of you”, Y/N extended her hand and Pietra had to pinch his arm in order to get him out of his trance, taking her hand into his.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N”, he responded, opening the biggest smile. Contrary to his usual behaviour around girls, he decided to stick with his sympathetic smile, instead of his flirty one, just because something said that he should try being different with this girl. His sixth sense was right, and there was something very special about her. “And same here. She always goes on and on about how nice you are. I’m glad to finally put a face to the name”.
“Come on! We have a table near the DJ booth and everyone else is waiting for us”, Pietra entwined her arms with both of her friends, settling between them before she dragged them around the club.
Lando doesn’t remember the last time he felt butterflies in his stomach. It had been so long that he had forgotten what it was like. It hit him so hard that he had to take a few seconds before coming back to reality and used a shot of tequila to help him get his mind back together; or at least let loose for a second and forget about that feeling. While it was very good, it was still very scary to feel that way.
“Didn’t even wait for me to do shots”, Lando heard Y/N’s voice speak from behind him as he put the tiny cup back on the bar counter. She found a spot right next to him and waited for the bartender, who was now serving another group of friends right next to them.
“I didn’t know you wanted shots”, he admitted. “But I can join you, if you want”.
“I’m just joking”, she giggled. “I’m not doing shots, I’m sorry. I just wanted a drink, thought that maybe teasing would break the ice”.
“Oh, good, because I think I might puke if I down another shot of tequila”, he laughed along and gestured to the bartender to get her order. “This lady here wants a…”
“Mojito, please”, she asked and he quickly started doing her order. Lando, being the gentleman he is, kept her company while she waited for her drink. “Something refreshing, right? It’s so damn hot tonight”.
“Yeah, I’ve been here so many times and this might be my hottest summer in Ibiza”.
“Really? It's my first time in Spain, to be honest. I was very excited when Pietra invited me to join”.
“Oh, you're going to love it. If you're a party person like me, then you might've found your perfect holiday destination”.
And Y/N definitely was a party person like him. In fact, Lando was surprised to find how much alike they were. She loved golfing, since she grew on courts around the world following her dad, a professional golfer. She loved music, and especially creating music, and knew how to play various instruments and was very good at mixing songs, and gave a try at DJing a lot of times. She was also from England's countryside, and had recently just moved to London to study Public Relations. And she most definitely had the best sense of humour, with sassy comments that could make him laugh for days.
Lando was absolutely fascinated by her. And he found it very funny how easy it was to start and maintain conversation with her. It was like they had known each other for years; like they knew each other from other lives. He simply couldn’t ignore how much he felt alive again, like she had reignited the fire on his chest once again.
Maybe that's what love at first sight feels like.
“You should come stay with us at the villa”, Lando asked, as he dropped her off at her hotel. They had taken a walk all the way back, since the club wasn't so far away from where they were staying. “There's a spare room, you know? And I don’t want you to be left out of all the fun”.
“I really don't want to bother you”, she opened a shy smile and looked away to the ocean, where the sun had started to rise.
“Please, if the people that bother me were 10% of you, my life would've been so easy”, he admitted, making her laugh. as he did all night. “You're really cool, Y/N”.
“Thanks, I think you're really cool too”, she opened a shy smile at him before pointing back to her hotel entrance. “I think I might need to get going. But I'll think about your proposal”.
“If you want to, the doors to the villa are always opened”.
After that one night in Ibiza, there was not a single day that Lando and Y/N didn’t talk to each other. It was almost funny how this friendship bloomed out of nowhere, and that's all that it was: a friendship. Before anything, Lando was really happy with what they had created, where he could live carefree. He didn’t have to be the Lando Norris, F1 driver for McLaren, that everyone had a love and hate relationship. He was just a boy that loved having time with his friends, giggling until his belly hurt and playing video games until sunrise.
For Y/N, it was good too. Ever since she moved to London, she found it difficult to create real deep connections with people. Pietra was a close case, and she absolutely loved having her as a friend; but Lando was different. He understood her in some ways no one ever did, like an instant connection written in the stars. It was like they knew each other from other lives.
"Don't become a stranger", Lando told her as they were saying their goodbyes at the end of their trip. "I know I'm not around London often, but you can always text and call me, if you want”.
He got shy with his words, afraid she would take them the wrong way. Lando looked down to the ground and played with the car keys in his hands. He only looked up when she laughed and pulled him into a hug. It caught him by surprise, but he melted into her embrace a few seconds later. That's the type of person she is – one that likes to show people how much she likes them.
"You'll be tired of seeing my face, Norris. I can assure you that".
And she kept that promise, because the months that followed that summer break completely changed their lives. It started with small things like her joining their gaming sessions when he was in Monaco, and him always taking time to see her whenever he was in England for an MTC day. They would either grab some coffee or hang out with friends. Not to forget that, when he was away racing, he made sure to maintain contact through texting and calling. 
But things started to change once they got more intimate. It all started with golfing sessions with friends, and ended up with him being invited to play with her father on the countryside. Then he invited her for an early birthday celebration with his family at his parents’ house. Not to mention the countless times they spent alone at her house in London and his flat in Monaco; literally crossing the ocean just to see each other.
“Really, the benefit of having a rich F1 driver as a friend is this”, Y/N pointed to the view of his flat, where the ocean waves crashed on the rocks and the breeze brought the comforting smell of the salty water to her nose. It was sunny in Monte Carlo, and she had been wearing a pink crochet mini shorts, a bikini and one of his white tshirts, to keep her warm while they were inside.
“You can’t get this while it’s raining all the time in London, right?”, he chuckled, still sitting on his couch. She turned her head back at him and shrugged. “You stole my shirt”.
“You left it hanging around the house”, she teased. “Can we please go to the beach now?”
“What? Don’t you like spending time with me?”
“Not inside the house, when the sun is so shiny outside”.
Lando sat back in silence and admired her for a second. The sun made her skin and her hair glow, and she looked almost angelic under the light. She hadn’t done anything special or was making an effort to look good. She was simply… beautiful. And he felt his heart soften more and more while he looked at her.
“I like spending time with you anywhere”, he commented, making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. Lando got up from his seat and approached her, leaning against the railing to also look at the view. “I’m glad you came. I think I might’ve exploded if I had to leave for three weeks and not see you before I go”.
“Well, I would never deny the opportunity to come to Monaco”, she said, and after a few seconds, she completed. “Or to see you”.
Lando opened a big smile at her. At most times, she makes him feel like a teenage boy, with butterflies in his stomach and a vivid blush on his cheeks. But he didn’t mind it by now. Actually, he started to like how he feels whenever she’s around. Y/N became a reason for him to keep smiling every day.
“Come on, let’s go to the beach”, he broke the ice, getting up from his seat to finally leave the four walls of his flat.
Y/N considered that her best day in Monaco. Lando drove her to a beautiful private beach, where she got to have a few drinks, lounge by the ocean and renovate her tan. He stood right by her side, as they talked about nothing and everything. Just like the night they met, it was so easy to make conversation with her. They never die out of subjects to talk about; and if they did, it wasn’t uncomfortable.
After lunch, he surprised her with a jet ski ride through the crystal waters of Monte Carlo. He had done it many times, but it was so cool to hear her giggles in his ears, while she held onto him to keep her steady. They felt so happy to feel the warmth of each other’s skins touching as she hugged him from behind.
The day ended with them sitting at a deck restaurant, with a great view of the sundown in the ocean. They shared drinks and had a laugh while playing a card game as a duo. Y/N won twice, and was shuffling the cards to win her third round in a roll. And while she did it, Lando took it as an invitation to observe her; the few strays that weren’t tied in her bun falling over her face, the relaxed smile on her lips and the way her skin glowed with her trapless dress. She was breathtaking. And once he was gone for another triple header, he would miss her so much.
After three days of purely Y/N, he started to worry how much her absence would have an effect on him. In such short time, he got used to her humming while doing her morning eggs to go with her avocado toast, and how she was always up to joining him at his quick gym session before going out for the day. He loved the company for mundane things such as buying groceries, watching TV and driving. Then he got sad just by thinking this would be over in a day, when their weekend would’ve passed by, and he would have to fly to Austin.
“I’m gonna miss you so much when I’m gone”, he blurted out, making her look up from her cards, straight into his eyes. They softened at his words, and she stopped shuffling cards once she understood what he was saying.
“It’s not forever, you know that”, she tried comforting him. But deep down, her heart also ached just by thinking about going for three weeks without seeing him, just after having an overdose of Lando.
“Yeah, but I’ve grown so used to your company that it will be hard to go without you”.
Y/N didn’t want to agree with his words, but she understood every single one of them. Ever since they sat at that table, she was only thinking how much it would hurt once he was away, and she would have to go back to her routine.
“Let’s not think about it right now. We still have one more day to enjoy together”, she distributed the cards for one more round, and Lando thought that was her way out of the subject. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way about him leaving. Maybe he was stepping too far into this friendship. 
After all, who gets this attached to a person after only four months since you met?
“And… I win again!”, she declared, putting her last cards down at the table and making Lando groan in frustration.
“If this was a racing track, I surely wouldn’t be losing”, he complained, making her roll her eyes.
“Well, I’ve never seen it in real life”, she shrugged, shuffling the cards in her hands. “What guarantees that the TV isn’t manipulating us all into thinking you’re winning races?”
“Then come and watch one with your own eyes”, he suggested, and the table turned silent. 
Y/N and Lando had broken many barriers in this friendship, but she never went as far as stepping foot into his job. Of course, he invites a lot of his friends to join him on the paddock, even flying them across the world to have a crowd of his own in the garage. But so far, he had never asked her. And Y/N was burning her brain out, thinking that, if she accepted this invite, he would think she was stepping too much into his privacy.
“I don’t want to bother you”.
“That’s exactly what you said the night we met. And if you hadn’t bothered me back then, we wouldn’t be friends today”, he pointed out with a smile on his face. “Pietra and Max are coming to Abu Dhabi. Maybe my mom and dad as well, but you already know them. So, you’ll have company once I’m out on track if you want to join us”.
Lando was apprehensive with her response. His mind was telling him that she wasn’t interested in coming, but he had trapped her into this proposal. But he learned to trust Y/N over time, and the smile she gave him assured that she wasn’t lying about her response.
“I would love to join you, Lando”, she said. “And I will miss you too, muppet”.
Saying goodbye the next day was hard. He held onto her a little bit longer before letting her go at the airport, and made sure to slip one of his bracelets into her wrist, just so she could have a little piece of him while he was gone. Y/N, wanting to repeat the gesture, took off her teddy bear necklace and tied it around his neck.
“I know it’s a little bit feminine, but it’s something for you to carry with you”.
“My good luck charm”, he smiled as he held the bear between his fingers. “I love it”.
“Have a safe trip”, she kissed his cheek and hugged him again. “And remember to call me every night”.
“Always”, he winked, before waving her off to pass security on the airport. “I’ll see you soon”.
“In the blink of an eye”.
Both of them really wished it was as quick as the blink of an eye. Lando remembers having only her face on his mind on his way home, and again once he was flying to Texas. He held her teddy bear between his hands every time his chest got a little tighter and carried on with the routine of calling her every night. But it definitely wasn’t the same. Y/N was going through the same thing, except that she didn’t have racing to distract her from how much she missed him. And when it got rougher, she would turn into sports news programs just to see his face, and onto the race transmissions, to see him in action.
“Congratulations on P2”, she said when he called her later on that Sunday night, after he finished on the podium in Mexico. He was getting ready to go out for dinner, but never before hearing her voice. “You did very well today”.
“Not enough to win the championship”.
“But you did good. Don’t martyr yourself”.
“I'm not. It just…”, he sighed, not knowing how to finish the sentence. “Anyway, Carlos is dragging me to have dinner with his family, and then maybe go out partying. But I just wanted to talk to you before you pass out”.
“Look at you, keeping your promise of calling every day”, she pointed out. “I appreciate it”.
“Me too. Talking to you is always the best part of the day”, he admitted, and the air shifted between them. Y/N didn't reply, but she felt all of those words warm her chest. Even without a response, he knew she felt the same. “Just one more race and I'm home”.
“So enjoy every moment, and we'll see each other soon”.
“I miss you”, he added, making Y/N smile through the phone. It was the three words he always repeated at the end of every call.
That was everything Lando could think about lately. Why did he get so attached to a person he only knew for a couple of months? It scared him how much he likes her, because it has been a while since he last felt such strong feelings for someone. He didn’t even have the heart to tell her how he feels and potentially ruin everything. Loosing her would be an absolute nightmare scenario.
“I miss you too”, she replied. “Can’t wait to see your ugly face”.
“And I can’t wait to see your pretty one”, he flirted, which made her blush from the other side of the line. Luckily, he couldn’t see the effect he had on her. “I’ll be on my first flight home, I promise”.
“Go enjoy your night with Carlos, muppet”, she chuckled. “Good night, Lan”.
“Good night, Y/N. Sleep tight”.
Their reunion in London after the Brazilian Grand Prix was quick, but very warm. Lando turned 25 and got to spend an entire week next to the people he cherished the most, including Y/N, who prepared an entire day of pampering and golfing for the birthday boy. But he left to quick for the last triple header of the year.
While it was painful to leave again, they were both excited about the last race of the season, even without any real chances of him winning the driver's championship any more. It would be the first time she would step somewhere so important for him, and he was willing to do anything to at least finish on the podium to see her smile.
After another two weeks without each other, Lando opened the biggest smile to see her walking down the hotel lobby on Thursday before the race. He had gone through a long media day and wanted nothing more to just have dinner and relax. And he surely did relax once she pulled him into a comforting hug that made him let go of all the tension he had been carrying.
“Thank God you’re finally here”, he sighed, taking in her scent and enjoying the warmth of her body on his. It didn’t matter if it was burning hot outside, and that he was sweaty from the weather, he still wanted her as close as possible for as long as he could.
“Wouldn’t miss it for anything”, she assured. “You have a constructors' championship to celebrate, after all”.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself”, he pulled her to walk towards the lift with him, keeping her secured by his side with a hand on her waist. “I haven’t won anything yet”.
“I’m sure you’re gonna make something magical for me”.
“God, I hope so”, he chuckled. “Your first race! Better make it special”.
“You will. I trust you”.
And what he did on track was amazing. After a couple of terrible race finishes, Lando showed pure dominance at the last race of the season. Securing pole position and carrying it on until the very end, when he won the GP, and even getting the fastest lap for one last time at this round. The perfect race to bring the championship home to McLaren; and Y/N was there to witness it all.
“You stink of champagne”, she pointed out when they were back at his hotel room. Everyone had gone to get ready to party and he definitely needed a shower after getting soaked by his team’s celebration. After all, it’s not every day when you become a constructor champion in Formula 1.
“And I’m definitely a little bit drunk from the podium”, he giggled as he threw his tired body on bed. Lando didn’t care if he was dirty; he just needed a little bit of rest before going back to the outside world. Right at that moment, he was happy to be in the quiet and safeness of his room, in Y/N’s presence.
“But it’s all worthy, isn’t it?”, she asked, getting herself a tiny spot in bed right next to him. She couldn’t help but notice the content smile on his lips, the ‘mission accomplished’ aura. It was like this win had lifted an enormous weight from his shoulders.
“Yeah, it is”, he agreed. “All worth it to make you impressed”.
“I’m always impressed by you”, she shyly replied, keeping her voice low as she got herself distracted with the sequins of her bag, using her fingers to roll them around. 
“I’m glad this is the one you saw live”, he started playing with the sequins as well, but his green eyes quickly found hers as they played together. She could feel the flames on her chest and the heat on her cheeks as he looked into her eyes. It was like he could see past her soul. “Thank you for being here”.
“Thank you for asking me to come”, she shot back. They couldn’t tear their eyes away from each other, and the more they stared, the more confused about their feelings they got. It was already a big incognita in their heads, and surely this rush of emotions weren’t helping them at all. “Won’t you go get ready to celebrate?”
“I just need a minute of quietness”, he explained, now closing his eyes and breaking the contact with Y/N’s for once. She silently sighed in relief and went back to playing with her purse. “The calm after the storm”.
“And before”, she chuckled, making him agree with a grin. “It gets too loud sometimes, right? The media, the fans, the adrenaline…”
“Louder than I'd like to admit”, he chuckled, his eyes flickering towards her once again. “God knows how much they tried painting me as the villain this year. It pisses me off, but… the people that know me will always have my back. And it's good to share moments like this. It's what keeps me grounded. And in the end, it’s all about the people who are there for you when it’s quiet. Like you, right now”.
“You know I'll always have your back. If you ever need someone to hold your hand, I'll be right here”, Y/N stopped playing with her purse and rested her hand on top of his. 
A small moment of silence lingered in the air, but it wasn't awkward at all; it was comfortable. After a while, they learned how to appreciate each other's presence solely and enjoy the quiet. It was in moments like this they truly know what they got by their side.
“You know you're not at all what I thought you would be”, Y/N admitted. “When Pietra said you're an F1 driver, I thought you'd be more… full of yourself. A little bit arrogant. And from the first moment we met, you were humble and you were kind. Not to mention that the past few months have been nothing more than a Lando 101, learning how much of a good person you are. I'm glad I can be vulnerable with you”.
“I'm glad I didn’t meet your first expectations”, they chuckled together. “Honestly, not a lot of people see what you're saying. To everyone, I'm the bad driver that says a lot of shit to the media. But you've seen past all of that”.
A brief silence falls between them both. The atmosphere shifts slightly, the comfortable chatter fading away once again. Y/N zones out for a while, but when she comes back to her senses, Lando is looking at her. His lips are slightly parted, as if he was trying to come up with words to say. But his face is glowing a little bit more than before. The realization had just dawned on him, and after months of being insecure about his own feelings, he simply decided to be honest with her.
Lando swallowed the lump on his throat and his tone got more serious. He looked down to his hands, taking the courage to speak, before looking her in the eyes again.
“I think I’m in love with you. And that scares the shit out of me”.
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, it was like the world outside had gone quiet. Lando paid close attention to her reaction, and all Y/N got to do was gasp and slightly widen her eyes. She didn’t know how to react to this; and most definitely didn't know how to reply to such a confession.
“I know it's mental. I don’t like feeling like I'm rushing in and fucking things up. But it's just… it's just that I've never felt like this before. Like, the past year, I thought I could just have fun, enjoy my youth, focus on my career and so on. But then you came along, and... it’s different with you. You make everything feel… right. And it scares me. I’m not good with this stuff. Not with real feelings”.
Lando was nervous with her response, but the way she squeezed his hands while staying in silence assured him that he didn't fuck everything up.
“Lan, I don't know what to say”, she smiled nervously, flickering her fingers between his and trying to control her breath.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just needed to say it. I don’t think I could keep on pretending like it's nothing. Like being in love with you isn't consuming me”, he admitted. “Every time I leave you, my heart breaks a little bit more. And every time I don’t get to call you mine, it pains me. And I'm scared of how much I love you. Scared I'm not good enough for you. Scared this is rushed in”.
“You don’t have to be scared. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But I’m here. I’m listening”, she assured him, hands still firmly holding onto his.
“You're not freaking out?”, he frowned, making her laugh at his reaction before shaking her head no.
“Lando, sometimes I think you think too much into things. You worry too much about what people think of you, and that includes me”, she analyzed. “You think I'm freaking out because I still haven't come up with the right words to say I'm in love with you too”.
He opened that boyish and genuine smile once again, and tried biting it away when he got shy. It was nice to know she felt the same. And it was even nicer to know he found someone to be truly vulnerable with.
“I've never been good at letting someone in, and I most definitely have some problems with self doubt. But you, Y/N, somehow made it easier. You understand me. And I'm happy to have found someone that sees right through me. I hope I can be at least 10% of that for you someday”.
Y/N didn’t even notice that she was leaning into him, or that she was now playing with the collar of his shirt. Lando was so close, to the point that she could smell the champagne on his breath, and it was intoxicating. It felt amazing to be seen by him.
“Lan, you understand me more than you think. And you have more impact on me than you can imagine”, she chuckled shyly. “We don't need to have it all figured out right away. I just want to be here. With you”.
Her eyes flickered up to his once again, then rolled back to his lips, only to come up again. His gaze softened as he observed her from up close, and automatically, his hand moved up to brush over her cheek. Than, almost in a whisper, he said:
“You’re incredible, you know that? I’ve been waiting for the right moment to say this, but… I don’t want to wait anymore”.
And without another word, Lando leaned forward, his lips gently brushing against hers. He started as a soft kiss, testing the waters and making sure she's comfortable with it. But when Y/N didn’t pull away, he brought her closer and deepened the kiss. His movements became more certain, more desperate. The world around them disappeared, and the only thing that truly mattered was each other. A moment they have been waiting for so long, finally happening.
When he pulled away, Y/N chased his lips, making him smirk now knowing the control he has over her body. Then, as a reward, he pressed a few more pecks before completely stopping to admire her face. His thumbs rubbed circles on her cheek and he looked between her eyes with a huge smile on face.
“I should've done this sooner”, he admitted. “Would've been amazing to have kissed you all those months ago back in Ibiza”.
“To be totally honest, I was kind of disappointed you didn't kiss me that night”, she revealed, making him arch his brows. “I thought you were the cutest boy from the very beginning”.
“Everything happens for a reason, Y/N. If I had kissed you on that trip, maybe we wouldn't be here today”.
“I guess you're right”, she sighed and he gently kissed her again.
“I love you”, he mumbled against her lips.
“I love you too”, she says back, pulling him for another kiss. “But you still stink of champagne. I think you need a shower so we can properly celebrate your win tonight”.
“Alright, bossy”, he joked before pressing a kiss on top of her head.
And just before he closed the bathroom door, he leaned back and smiled again. Lando didn’t say anything, but just admired her one more time before going into the shower. Sometimes his life feels surreal; and tonight, having the girl of his dreams all to himself, it felt more like something designed straight out of his dream.
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⤿ add yourself to the taglist!
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livwritessometimes · 2 days ago
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Hello! I love your uni series and I'm so excited to see who's next! Could I request an Alex Albon smau with a baker reader?
: Alex Albon x Baker!Reader
: Main Masterlist
: Author’s Note - omgg tysmm 💕 Hope you enjoy this 🫶🏻
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liked by alex_albon and 72,393 others
Yourname: Nothing here to see…just a baker rolling through life one dough at a time 🤭
view all 56,921 comments
User56: Noooo queen you’ve been spending way to much time with Alex 😭😭😭😭😭 Your captions have taken a hit 😔
User02: I thought Y/n dating Alex would save us from his corny one lines but I was WRONG!! HE MADE HER JUST LIKE HIM 😩😩😩😩
alex_albon: I CAN SEE ALL YOUR CAPTIONS 😡🔪
-> User66: Oh no we’re so scared 😱
-> User51: Absolutely terrified
-> User09: Deleting this app as we speak! So scared 😦
-> alex_albon: 🤡 You guys are the worst 👎🏻👎🏻
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liked by patrickh_coach and 219,627 others
👤: patrickh_coach
alex_albon: Winter break? Never heard of her 🤷🏻‍♂️ 2025 Season, here I come 💨
view all 179,728 comments
patrickh_coach: Keep up with this routine and we’ll be unstoppable 💪🏻 And don’t forget about your meal plan 🍽️
-> alex_albon: 🫡🫡🫡
User51: I-Wow! COVER YOURSELF UP YOU WHORE 🫵🏻
User42: You thought you could show your knees and GET AWAY WITH IT????? That’s IT! YOU’RE GROUNDED!
Yourname: My man! my man! my man! 🤤
-> User23: Queen I get the appeal! I swear I do but please pull yourself together 🙏🏻
-> User49: Another one bites to dust 😞
alex_albon: Why can’t you guys be normal for once? JUST ONCE ☝🏻 THAT’S ALL I’M ASKING 🙏🏻
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liked by alex_albon and 92,013 others
👤: alex_albon
Yourname: The best part about winter break is having him all to myself 😈….Might not even give him back 🤭
view all 77,258 comments
User01: @/alex_albon how does it feel to be god’s favourite????
User32: LOVE LOVE LOVE 💕
alex_albon: oh 😳! I see…umm and what do you plan on doing 👀?
-> Yourname: Come back home and you’ll find out 😏
-> alex_albon: 🏃🏻
-> User42: why must I be punished like this??????
Williamsracing: Phew 😮‍💨 thank god! No take backs 🙅🏻‍♂️ He’s all yours now!!! Enjoy 😘
-> Yourname: WAIT NO I WAS JUST KIDDING!!! PLEASE TAKE HIM 🙏🏻
-> alex_albon: I- WOW! MY TEAM AND MY GIRLFRIEND! WOW
-> User52: @/Williamsracing @/Yourname I love you guys 😭😭🫂🫂🫂
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liked by Yourname and 104,927 others
👤: Yourname
alex_albon: You know what they say…The way to a women’s heart is through her stomach 😋
view all 98,161 comments
Yourname: 🙈🙈🙈🙈
User07: @/Yourname hand to your heart ✋🏻 tell us, how many times did Alex almost burn the kitchen down????
-> Yourname: Whattt??? No! He actually has become really good at baking. Honestly you’d be shocked at how good he- 7 times and he also dropped the jar of jam, so we had to go and get a new one 😇
-> alex_albon: I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW THIS WAS COMING
-> Yourname: Good for you ig 🫶🏻🫶🏻
User55: I love these 2 so much!!!!!! Please never change you guys 🙏🏻
User03: Umm *gulp* I- *stutters* nice *wipes sweat* nice arms *cardiac arrest*
*liked by Yourname*
User21: hmm so much sweet 🤔 isn’t he supposed to be on a strict diet or something???
-> alex_albon: shhh ���� Don’t tell my trainer about this or else 🔪
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liked by alex_albon and 99,738 others
👤: alex_albon
Yourname: I could watch him eat all day ☺️ Can’t believe he’ll be half way across the country soon!!! Stay like this forever my hungry boy 💘
view all 90,193 comments
User48: SO CUTE!!!!! 😩😩😩😩
alex_albon: omggg are you like obsessed with me or something???
-> Yourname: It’s okay you can go! I don’t mind anymore. Bye 👋🏻
-> alex_albon: I’m only kidding babe 😝
-> alex_albon: Y/n OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE 😫😫😫
User20: Good Food = Happy Alex
*liked by alex_albon*
patrickh_coach: It’s nice to see you’re eating healthy! I hope you’re following the meal plan as well, right Alex?
-> alex_albon: You know it 😅
-> User93: @/patrickh_coach you should see the post Alex had uploaded a couple of days ago
-> alex_albon: I SAID 🤫🤫🔪🔪🔪
User76: Not Alex fighting for his life, trying to hide the fact that he did not in fact follow his meal plan 😭😭😭😭
-> alex_albon: I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️ what your talking about 🗣️
-> User88: @/Yourname Queen 👸🏻 please drop the receipts 🧾
-> alex_albon: Y/n NO 😰😰
-> User32: Y/n YES
-> User11: Y/n YES
-> User02: Y/n YES
-> User78: Y/n YES
-> User50: Y/n YES
-> User64: Y/n YES
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liked by alex_albon and 108,972 others
👤: alex_albon
Yourname: TADA!!! Since, so many of you wanted to see the results of Alex’s cooking 🧑🏻‍🍳 BTW, it was very tasty, and Alex & I enjoyed it a lot 🤤
view all 90,193 comments
alex_albon: YES, I ATE ALL OF THIS! I WILL NOT BE SHAMED FOR MY CHOICES! I DEVOURED THE ENTIRE SECOND BATCH OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES AND ON TOP OF THAT, I ALSO HAD TON OF CHOCOLATE CAKE! THERE I SAID IT AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT AGAIN!!!
User32: Umm….I think we broke Alex????
User09: @/Yourname Is it okay???
-> Yourname: I- honestly have no idea. He threw his phone on the sofa and is now rocking himself back and forth muttering about how he’ll be fine 🙂 Please send help 🙏🏻
-> User68: Called 911! They’re on their way 🚨
-> Williamsracing: @/Yourname sending the pit crew for emotional support 🫂
patrickh_coach: Damn @/alex_albon didn’t know you could bake so well. Bring me a batch as well!!!
-> User53: @/alex_albon this the coach you were worried about???
-> alex_albon: @/patrickh_coach you got it!!!
-> patrickh_coach: Also, Alex hope you’re ready for a brutal workout session tomorrow 😊
283 notes · View notes
planetpedri · 21 days ago
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Apple cider 𖦹 Pepe Marti !
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Summary: Getting lost on your first day of uni was not planned, but you quickly became grateful when a cute classmate offers his assistance.
Word count: 1.3k+
Disclaimer/s: banter, fluff, university au ^_^
Bea speaks ! pepe marti is my f2 equivalent to pedri (they are both from barcelona) he is thee Culer ever aside from me and enya!!
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Your legs were beginning to ache with how much movement you were making. Nearly tripping over your own two feet as you spun in circles, even your head was beginning to ache with how much you were spinning.
God dammit.
The campus map was held up in front of your face, studying it carefully. Your face was contorted, looking like you were reading some sort of hieroglyphics.
Thats when he spotted you, his lip curling in amusement. You weren’t a face he’d recognized—not that he’d have recognized you even if he saw you a dozen times, he rarely talked to people on campus.
But, you were clearly distraught and.. well, cute.
So, gradually setting one foot in front of the other, he passed the couple dozen feet in your direction. “Hey,” He said lightly, careful not to scare you.
Your head twisted around, searching for the soft voice before your eyes landed on the face. Breath hitching in your throat, you nearly gasped. He had gorgeous tan skin and short black hair.
“You know, if you stare at it long enough, it might talk back.” He held a small, teasing grin as he spoke.
“Oh—“ You stammer out, heart beating quickly in your chest. “I, uh, I was studying it?” The questioning twinge to your tone elicited a small laugh from the stranger. The sound sending a wave of blood to your cheeks.
The raven haired boy tilted his head to the side, amusement flickering across his eyes. “Studying it? You’re acting like it’s an exam you forgot to study for.”
Right. So he was quick witted and cute. Got it.
Rolling your eyes at his joke, you fold the paper in half and glance around at the campus buildings. “Okay, fine.” You let out a defeated breath, “I am lost. Happy now? Please tell me the rest of campus isn’t as confusing as this part is?”
Unfortunately, he shakes his head. “Yeah, I wish I could put your concerns to rest.. but, they built this place like they were on shrooms and had a pen and a dream.”
That, well—you let out an undignified snort. Your mouth formed a wide toothy smile. Seeing your reaction, his face lit up too.
“Okay, well, thank you for the comforting words! I appreciate it.” You finally get out through a breathy laugh.
Shrugging it off, he gives you a lopsided smile. “My pleasure. So, where are you trying to get to..” He trails off, silently searching for a name.
“I’ve got to get to Mr.Garcia’s for biology.” You explain, then, you tell him your name, trailing off the same as he did.
“Ah! Right, Pepe.” He hums, then, he smiles. A genuine, eye squinting, smile. “And, I am going in the same exact direction.. Let me walk you?”
Your eyebrows lift, “are you sure? I wouldn’t want you to be late.” Slightly concerned flickers in your expression, and Pepe quickly waves it away.
“Oh! No, no. By ‘same direction’, I meant same class.” He rubs the back of his neck, head dropping as he chuckles, “I should’ve just said that in the first place.”
“You’re not going to bring me to a secluded location and murder me right?”
“Wha—Wait what?”
“Well?”
“No? No, I’m not going to murder you.”
Crumpling up the paper guid, you find the nearest trash can a few feet away. Turning on your heels to face him, you clap your hands together. “Great! Then lets go?”
“Look at this, I’m already growing on you.” He puffs his chest proudly, watching you walk towards him.
“Yeah like a fungus.”
“I’ve been called worse.” Pepe, shrugs. He waits till your by his side to begin walking. “The building is literally straight ahead, two buildings down.” He speaks up, looking down at you.
Your head snaps up, eyes widening. “Are you fucking joking? I’ve been looking at that damn map for fifteen minutes and it was right there?” Squinting in the direction of the hall, you nearly scoff.
Pepes hand slaps over his heart, his face twisting into one of hurt. “I would never joke about this. I take my duties helping freshman quite seriously.”
Your eyes flicker across his face, eyebrows quirking upwards. “So, do you meet many helpless women this way? Or, am I just special.” You were teasing, but also very curious. You knew very well how college men could be.
Shaking his head like he was offended you’d even suggest that, he frowns. “I’m hurt you’d even suggest that. And for your information, you are special. I’ve never seen someone look so.. determinedly defeated.”
“Oh, so you’re full of jokes is that it?” You laugh, head shaking at how quickly he came up with these stupid come backs.
To be honest, you quite enjoyed it. He was outgoing, has personality, and he was assuring you wouldn’t be late to your first class of the semester.
“I pride myself on my humor as well.” He nods assuredly, taking the first step up the many steps that were to come.
Why do colleges demand on having so many stairs just to get to one place?
“Ever heard of the word humility?” You quip, “you should look into it.”
Pepes eyes light up, “ah, so now you’re full of jokes, too?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You chuckle, gripping the straps of your backpack tightly the further you walked.
Once at the top, he leads you to the door, opening it like a proper gentleman. “So, you new to Barcelona or?”
“No, just switching colleges. Better options here.” You hum, walking through the door.
Going in after you, he continues walking down the hall beside you. “Do you have any friends here yet?” He asks nonchalantly—though, he had a purpose.
“A few, but not many.” You sigh, “are you offering or just finding something to tease me over?” Your gaze drifted back up to him, which you’d founded harder and harder to do the more time passed—your cheeks always seemed to flush.
“I’m offering my camaraderie, clearly those eyes of yours aren’t keen to understanding maps.” He meets your eyes, flashing a quick smile, with only a smidge of hinting behind it.
Words seem to fail you as you struggle to find words. You run out of time, because Pepe was stopping in front of a door. “We’re here.”
“Sorry! Yes, uh, I would love your camaraderie.” You clear your throat and reach for the door handle—only stopping when tan fingers wrap around your wrist.
The simple touch has your skin heating up. Eyes locking on his, you blink. “Uh..”
“We should exchange numbers first.”
Right. Riiiight.
“Right! Well, how about after class? We’re three minutes away from being late.” You nudge your head in the direction of your apple watch, which was lit up with the time; 8:57 AM.
Pepe blinks for a second, then drops his hand from your wrist. “Of course. Sit together then? That way we don’t lose each other in the after class rush.” Excuses. Excuses to be near you, more so than it was a practical move.
Your mouth slowly forms into a grin. “Yeah, sounds good to me.” And with that, you pull open the door and Pepe follows behind with a smug smile.
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likes, comments, and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future pepe posts.
ᝰ.ᐟ tags @halfwayhearted @lechrts @spidybaby @joaoflms @sakashq @h4vertzz @iovepoem
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misswhowrite · 6 months ago
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Big Brown Eyes
Summary: You’re Tony Stark child from a previous one night stand, how will everyone react to meeting you for the first time.
(english isn’t my first language) (back after one year, uni had me kms but hey I’m back)
Tony Stark, many would describe him as THE playboy of the year or the decade. While Tony wasn’t unaware of the women who claim that the playboy got them pregnant, all of them were just lies to have money from the billionaire but this time… There was no denying because the paternity test before was very real.
The journalist from “apparently” two years ago was in the hall of his penthouse, with a one year old child in her arms and a paternity test that was shoved in Tony’s face. Well there was really no need for the test because Tony thought he was looking at a picture of him when he was the same age: big brown eyes, little brown hair, chubby face, that child is a copy of Tony. And after a long discussion between the two parents it was decided that Tony would be a father to the child (not like his father that is sure) and would seem them every weekend at first to not disturb the routine of the babe.
Pepper wasn’t exactly surprise when Tony told her about the baby, of course she thought that they wasn’t Tony’s child but after seeing the test and the child there was no denying. She immediately engaged a team to make a room for the little one (in reality she was excited but she wasn’t going to tell or show that): a nursery was made in a week, just in time for the first visit of little Stark. Their mom was pleasantly surprised with the room but still a little hesitant to just hand over her baby to their father.
“_Hey...I know it must be hard for you but they’ll be safe here. I mean the team is going to visit so they’ll have the avengers to protect them and be at their demand.
_ I know Tony but it the first time that they’ll be away from me an entire weekend… what if they need me or they’re scared and you don’t have their teddy bear!
_ You gave me the teddy and the emergency on and the emergency one if the other is lost so I think we’re safe. Just have a stressless weekend, I’ll message you every two hours if want.
_Okay we can do that… I think”
After a lot more of convincing she left and Tony was having a staring contest with his baby and that’s the scene the team were welcome with.
“_ Why there is a tiny human with Stark?
_ Well team met my baby, Y/N, Y/N met the team… I guess”
While there was a bit a shock on their faces it wasn’t that surprising (they fought alien so Tony’s child was a piece of cake)
Natasha was the first to take you in her arms, with Clint looking over her shoulders, she was bouncing you lightly while Clint made baby noises to you. Little baby gurgles were heard that soften everyone hearts.
Then Thor thought it was a good idea to see if you could hold his hammer and Bruce was the one to hold him back, both were not comfortable enough to hold a baby but they were happy to see you.
Steve is another history, he was completely in love with your big brown eyes. He would hold you so softly in his big arms (you looked so tiny in his arms that Tony was afraid he would squish you), speaking softly to you with a baby voice and yes he tried to put you in his shield when you were sleeping.
The whole team loved you, you were their shot of innocence and happiness in their world full of violence. But nobody could love you as much as your dad, he look at you like you are the apple of his eyes, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to be a father but for you he would try his very best just to see your little gummy smile.
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maevstar · 3 months ago
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| Introducing myself in my fame dr ᯓᡣ𐭩
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ᝰ. My name is Maeve Amelie Solace, but people usually call me by “Mae”.
ᝰ. I’m 26yo and I’m an A-list american actress and singer. (I was born in 1997 but I didn’t turned 27 yet).
ᝰ. I started my way on acting when I was 16 when my older brother was doing a play on high school and begged me to participate. I did, and since then I’ve been in love with acting.
ᝰ. When I graduated from high school i moved out from my hometown — Austin, Texas — to LA and entered to UCLA School of Theater.
ᝰ. My first big project in Hollywood was “The Edge of Seventeen” when I was 19-20yo, before that I just worked with small projects, mostly from my uni.
ᝰ. That project gave me more visibility in the industry and I became more well known.
ᝰ. Some of my films: The Edge of Seventeen, The School for Good and Evil (adaptation of the books), Lady bird, Scream 4 (2018), Little Woman, Causeway, We Live in a Time, Challengers, Me Before You, Glass Onion 2, Duna, Anyone but You, Don’t look up, No hard feelings, Don’t worry darling, The outrun, and etc.
ᝰ. Some of my shows: Supernatural (Claire Novak), Looking for Alasca, YOU, outer banks (season 4).
ᝰ. I’ve been nominated for the Oscar 4 times as the best Actress in a Leading Role, but I’m just gonna win the award in the 4th time (2024). Futhermore, i’ve won a lot of awards and nominations like Emmy’s and Golden Globes. In 2022, I entered the list of The Most Influential People by Time Magazine.
Now, my singer career:
ᝰ. My mom is a country singer — not much known — in Texas, so I’ve grew up loving music, and I’ve been writing songs since I was 15, but these never turned into real songs, until 2019-2020, when I recorded my EP’s.
ᝰ. My first EP is called “Minor” and it has 7 songs. I released it in 2019 just for fun, was some songs that I’ve been writing during the years. In 2020 I released more 2 EPs, called “Bittersweet” and “Good Riddance”, with 7 and 10 songs respectively, again, just for fun.
ᝰ. Now, my new coming up project on music is my first Album, called “The Secret Of Us”, it has 13 songs (+ 7 from deluxe) and all of them will have a music video, cause my objective is making a visual album.
ᝰ. With my new album, I intend to go on my first tour.
Fun facts about me:
ᝰ. I know ballet and gymnastics cause when my sister was 8 years old she wanted to learn but was scared to do it alone, so I used to go to classes with her.
ᝰ. I have 3 siblings, Will, Kayla and Austin. Will is 2 years older than me, Kayla is younger than me 4 years and Austin is 8 years younger than me. (Another fun fact is that Austin is adopted).
ᝰ. My s/o is Drew Starkey, I met him in a party at Maddie Cline’s house (2021). Also, Madelyn is my best friend and I’m very close to the cast of the outer banks too.
ᝰ. I’m in fact brazilian. I was born there but my family moved to the US when I was 8 — my father is brazilian but my mom is from us, she was in a trip when met my dad in brazil and blablabla — so I have dual nationality. (latinas are better lol). But when I was 14, I moved again to Brazil and lived there for almost 2 years with my aunt before I came back to US.
ᝰ. When I was 16, I made a YouTube channel with my brother Will and we used to talk about the most random things ever (btw it was a flop lol, this channel just came up when we became famous). (another fun fact is that he is also a well known actor, but more on theater plays than on screen).
ᝰ. When I was in high school, I was planning on going to med school — mostly because of my dad, he’s a doctor (my obsession with greys anatomy might got me inclined to that too🤭) — but then I fell in love with acting (when I was 16, like i said) and never quit. Besides that, I’m still very interested with things related to science and human body, stuff like that; most of things that I know are bc of my dad tho.
ᝰ. I’m polyglot. I speak Portuguese, English, Italian, Spanish and a bit of French and Latin. I also know ASL.
ᝰ. I still don’t know how to ride bikes without training wheels cause no one ever taught me (😭).
ᝰ. I love the sea, beaches, everything related to that, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.
mood boards; mood boards details;
─────── ୨ৎ ───────
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yaniluvs · 5 months ago
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𝒾 ┆ ✦ (현진) : JUST FINE “ 𝑚𝑦 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑠𝘩 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑒! ” ── you have a crush on your own best friend, and you're scared of confessing. all because of 'her'.
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𝒊n𝒅ex | 𝒏e𝒙t ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎
𓍯 dancerbsf!hyunjin ʚଓ dancerfem!reader :( 𝒾 ) 534wc ── ༯ SERIES, angst, drama, mature themes, fluff, comfort, suggestive, petnames, unrequited love, melancholy, one sided, skz ensemble, uni au. ⸝⸝𓂃 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲. /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི
yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ my first series !! hyune's ig live motivated me to write this as a oneshot, but i got angst ideas and now it's a series !! there's a lot to come, i hope you look forward to it. taglist for all fics/this series is open, so are requests. i'll try to stay as consistent as i can ;3. comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! happy reading <3
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“seriously?” 
his voice shot through, brows furrowing in confusion as he ran his fingers through his freshly-permed, raven strands. 
“you’re saying you’ve never— ever, slept or made out with a guy?”
“how are we still on this topic?” 
the brunette that was nicely settled on her bed, whined, eyes quickly skimming through her economics course-book. she tapped her pen against the page, trying to focus. 
“i thought we were over this. yes, hyunjin, i’m so pathetic and picky that i’ve never slept or kissed a guy. can we end it here, please?”
he leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing slightly as he studied her life like it was some biography project. 
“what about that guy at the freshers’ party?”
“we had just met?” she sighed, flipping the pages of her textbook a little too forcefully.
he wasn't ready to drop the subject just yet. 
"but you guys were flirting the whole night. i thought for sure something happened after i left."
“flirting? you call conversing about similar interests— in this case, songwriting, flirting now? while your tongue was figuratively and practically down—” 
she got up from the bed, her voice wavering the tiniest bit, the twinkle in her eyes, fading just a tad. to which she continued by clearing her throat. 
“..seori’s throat the whole evening?” a glare was shot his way, as she walked towards him, or rather her desk he was nestled near, grabbing a pair of her pastel highlighters.
hyunjin's eyebrows furrowed further at her jab, but there was a softness in his gaze as he watched her. he knew her well enough to catch the shift in her tone, the subtle way her defences went up whenever this topic came around. they'd shared everything growing up—secrets, dreams, fears—yet, there were still things he couldn't quite figure out about her.
the soft sound in the background was like a lullaby, weaving through the air with a bittersweet elegance. the ethereal notes of "apocalypse" by cigarettes after sex drifted like whispered secrets, mingling with the soft hum of the room. its dreamy, hazy paints brushed over the room like on a canvas, accentuating the gravity of their conversation as if the song itself was echoing their unspoken intentions.
with her gaze lingering on him a moment longer, tracing the familiar curves of his face— her eyes flickered with a blend of frustration and vulnerability. 
those sharp yet calm eyes that seemed to pierce through her defences, his plump lips that moved so delicately, spilling words that always made her heart clench just a little too tight. 
there was a melancholy in the way her eyes looked at him, betraying a sadness she kept buried deep in the shadows, the familiar glint absent.
for a brief moment, she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to close the distance between them.
to let the words she never dared to speak tumble out. 
to feel those pink lips on hers, once again.
to let the outer world fade away in a muted embrace, even if it lasted just a mere minute.
but— there are always buts, right?
but— those lips could never belong to her.
but, he could never be hers.
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auspicioustidings · 5 months ago
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Ae Fond Kiss - Part 7
My Heart's in the Highlands
Summary: You speak with your kid and establish a new normal. A conversation is had with Johnny. Words: 2.6k TWs: mention of miscarriage
Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
The drive home was silent. Your mind was a mess but you tried to slow down your racing thoughts and put your parent head on. It was so hard right now to be a parent when you felt like an out of control child. You tried to run through a script in your mind, a way to explain what was going on to Joey without bringing your own bitterness into it. 
The kid in question seemed no more willing to have the conversation than you were. He was staring out the window. He seemed exhausted. You could understand that, the emotional gauntlet he had been going through with his parents not even there to help… God you felt awful. 
“...let’s get the mega-ultra sundae” you decided, indicating to turn off towards the ice-cream parlour.
“That’s for like 20 people. Luna from school said her brothers tried to eat it all and they threw up.”
“How many brothers does she have again?”
“Four. One of them does football at uni, two are on the high school team and the last one just won a boxing competition.”
“Well I guess we’re about to embarrass Luna’s brothers.”
You glanced over to him and he looked to you, both with tentative smiles. This was still your kid, you were still his mother, and you were going to eat enough ice-cream that you’d both spend the evening curled up on the sofa feeling sick and watching bad movies. You didn’t know how you ever got so lucky. You could strangle both of his dads, but you could never not appreciate the hand they had in this brilliant boy. 
While you immediately knew the mega-ultra sundae was a mistake when the server struggled to put it on the table due to the weight, you both grinned anyway. The first few spoonfuls you just took the time to think about what to say. 
“Did you really think he was dead?” Joe asked, carefully digging for marshmallows.
“We both did, me and your dad. I think… I think uncle John might have known he wasn’t and I’m very angry with him over it” you answered, aiming for complete honesty. 
“Was the stuff you said about him true?”
You thought on that while you took a mouthful of what you had thought was mostly ice cream but was almost 100% whipped cream. You had told Joe all about Johnny even if you lied about just what he was to him. You had told him how brave he was, how loving. How when he got really excited you and Simon could barely understand half the words that came out of his mouth. You’d told him about his temper, how he would explode and then after need to nap it off before profusely apologising. And God was he clever even if he seemed like a big dumb idiot sometimes. He could make an explosive out of anything and on New Years he usually did. 
“Yeah. We never lied about the kind of man he was, just… it felt scary to tell you he was your father. We should have told you. We shouldn’t have hidden it because we were scared about what you might think.”
“What would I think?”
You could still hear Johnny yelling in your head. You were afraid Joe would think what he did, that you loving Simon even when you thought he was dead was a betrayal. Although now you knew that you had been betrayed it felt like such a stupid fear.
“I didn’t want you to think of your dad differently because he wasn’t your birth father. And I… for some people me falling in love with Johnny’s best friend after he died was wrong. I just didn’t want you to think that.”
Joey thought on that for a while as he kept working on the sundae which didn’t seem like it had decreased in volume at all. You hated putting all of this on a 9 year old. He should be telling you all about the football game and explaining again how he could build a computer in Minecraft, not considering how he felt about finding out a war hero whose death was faked by the military was his father. God you hoped Kyle hadn’t known.
“I think it’s ok” he said eventually as he chewed through a chunk of meringue. 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s pretty cool that I have another dad. Does he always sound like that? Did he really take on a whole town of bad guys and win with dad?”
You shoved another spoonful in your mouth even though you were feeling a little nauseous because if you didn’t try and distract yourself with something you’d cry. He was supposed to yell at you, he was supposed to be mad and turn off his hearing aids so he couldn’t listen to your apologies. But that wasn’t the kid you and Simon had raised. Yeah he could get angry, but he was so good at cooling off and moving on and fixing the issue. 
So you told him all about Johnny but this time in present tense, you both gave the mega-ultra sundae your best shot and then you ran to the bathroom as soon as you got home to throw up which your kid did not let you live down as you watched a bunch of superhero movies. 
You didn’t think anyone but you three could pull it off, but somehow life went on. Simon and Johnny arranged a meeting with you and it was decided who would do what. School runs were completely off your plate, they’d share that between them and it seemed like a good way to have J be able to get to know his biological father in small, casual chunks. 
You did offer to let them stay in the guest room, but Simon could read you well enough to know that right now you really did not want to be around them and you were offering for the sake of keeping the peace, so he said no. He was staying in an airbnb nearby and Johnny to your surprise outright bought himself a flat the second week. Not really your business, but part of you felt your heart break that he had just accepted so quickly that you’d be separate for the rest of your lives. 
You never asked about what was going on with the two of them. Maybe it was cowardly, but you didn’t want to know. If they were together, then it would feel like you were always just the second choice and now they would be happy without you. If they weren’t, then it would feel like they were only holding back out of their love and respect for you which was no doubt making them miserable. Did you want them to be miserable? You didn’t know, the answer changed depending on the time of day.
You’d had a dream this morning of the two of them together, had woken up wet and needy and had let your hand wander between your legs to finish yourself off to the fantasy of it. Afterwards you promptly threw up and spent the rest of the day in bed feeling awful until J got back from football practice. Johnny had taken him and they were laughing together. He had taken one look at you and invited himself in, saying he’d order take away and get Joe to bed after dinner so you should just relax. You felt too ill and exhausted to really argue.
Joe was in bed and you were tidying away the leftovers when Johnny came back downstairs into the kitchen. It was the first time the two of you had been alone together. 
“Sorry, you used tae love cashews” he said.
“I still do. The place is usually really good as well, just really couldn’t stomach them today” you replied, frowning at the container as you put it away because it really had been sort of gross but Joey had tried some and said he’d eat the leftovers. 
“I can go grab something from the shops if ye want? Ye didnae eat an awful lot.”
You closed the fridge and raised an eyebrow at him. 
“..I’m naw Senga’ing!” he protested, knowing that raised eyebrow well.
“You’re Senga’ing a little.”
“Naw I’m not!”
“I dunno Johnny, if it worries like a Senga and fusses like a Senga…”
He threw a tea towel at you and you laughed. Senga was your old neighbour's very moody hen who treated the two of you like unruly chicks whenever you were out the back garden. It was sort of comforting to know the old Johnny from nearly a decade ago was still here, but bittersweet that he wasn’t yours anymore. 
“I…” you started, but trailed off because you didn’t know what you wanted to say.
You had spent weeks with the anger at finding out what had happened being difficult to predict. Sometimes you felt it so intensely, sometimes it faded away. It was all so long ago now. You were a different person. You all were. 
“I shouldnae have… well let’s be honest there’s a hunner things I shouldnae have done, but just going for recently I shouldnae ever have tried tae say it was wrong of ye to marry Simon. Especially naw when I knew myself that he…” he trailed off.
“That he’s easy to fall in love with” you finished for him, hearing almost a tone of commiseration in your voice. 
“Is easy the word?”
“Fair enough. I hated him at the start. Considered breaking things off with you more than once just so I didn’t have to be around him anymore.”
“I broke two of my fingers trying tae break his nose the first month on the task force.”
You gave a dramatic gasp and pointed accusingly at him. 
“And you never told me?! How did I not know this?”
“Cause it’s a pure riddy. Tried tae punch him with his mask on and he didnae feel a fucking thing. Didnae even try get me intae trouble for it either, just ordered me tae go to medical like a pure dick.”
You could imagine how mad that would have made Johnny and you could absolutely imagine how smug Simon would have been about the whole thing. One regret you had was the times you avoided going out with Johnny’s friends because you sort of wished now you had seen them together more. At the time you were young and so sure that Simon Riley was just a misogynistic tosser that you avoided him and you knew now you had probably missed out on so much. Maybe you’d have noticed how they felt about one another had you given him a chance. 
“I wanted to strangle him so much at the start. No clue how it turned into what it did. He didn’t even propose with a ring, just asked if I wanted to get married in the kitchen on a whim.”
Johnny looked horrified on your behalf.
“Absolute roaster! How in the fuck did both of us fall for such a wanker?”
The two of you took a beat to decide how you felt about this all being out in the open and then laughed together until you cried. God it was nice to just laugh about it. You’d never get over what the two of them did a decade ago, not really, but you didn’t want it to turn you bitter. You didn’t want to forget all the good things. And you wanted them both in Joseph’s life, you wanted him to get all of the love and support you knew these men were capable of. 
You wiped away a tear and sighed, leaning on the counter and looking at Johnny with a sort of sad smile. 
“I wish you had just told me how you felt about him. It’s not that you fell in love with him that hurt, it was that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”
Fuck, you guessed you knew how Joe felt now. Too scared to tell him the truth because you had imagined the worst of his reaction. 
“I was a shite husband. Naw even just what happened with Si, but all of it. Should never have taken that job without talking tae ye first. All well and good saying it was for your protection, but I should have trusted that ye wouldnae have told anyone, that ye’d have done your part if ye’d agreed tae it. Should never have taken that choice off of you.”
“Why the change of heart now?”
“Guess I’ve done some growing up. Over the last 9 years it’s naw been the soldiers that have been saving the world most of the time, it’s been the civilians. I used tae think I was some big hero just because I wore the uniform, but I was just being an arrogant prick. I hate that I treated ye like ye were less capable of making decisions because ye didnae have a set of fucking epaulettes. Never really deserved ye.”
“I’m sorry that you took it all on yourself. It must have been awful being alone all this time in enemy territory. Look, I’m pissed that you took the job, Price has been laying low because he knows I’m going to boot him in the balls next time I see him, but I know you did it to help people. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I never told you about… about that night with Simon.”
“I’m so so fucking sorry ye went through that bonnie, I cannae imagine” he said, and you knew he was sincere with the moisture gathering in his eyes. 
It was an old wound for you now, but this was new for him you realised. He hadn’t know until a few weeks ago that Joey may have had an older sibling. Remembering how painful it had been back then before time had healed you, you felt the sudden urge to hug him knowing there was a good chance this was still so raw for him. So you did.
He held you tight and buried his face in your hair like he used to. He smelled almost the same, although there was something a little less wild about him now. How long had it been since he had just been held? 9 years on mission, 9 years of the world on his shoulders. Fuck you almost wished Simon had known, then at least he would have had him to come back to without the complication of the lie between them. 
You stayed like that for a while, just clinging to one another in the kitchen. God you had missed him so damn much. You were just so angry that he had been alive all this time. So much time wasted. So many choices that could have changed things. If he had told you back then how he felt about Simon, what would you have done? If you had told him about the miscarriage, would it have changed things? But it was too late for any of that now. 
So when you broke apart and you took a breath to ask if he’d like to stay over, he beat you to it and said he’d best get going. Probably for the best.
“Why did you buy the place anyway? I thought you hated it down here, heart in the highlands and all that.”
“My heart’s in the highlands, but the highlands was never really about the place, it was about the person there in it with me. But the flat’s also close tae the uni Joe said he wants tae go to. I ken that he’s only little now so he might change his mind, but I wanted it tae be there for him just incase and it’s naw like I cannae buy another place for him if he goes somewhere else.”
You shoved him out of the door before you could go against your own best interests and kiss him.
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anaconamor · 1 year ago
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are you willing to write for trent alexander arnold? if so please write something fluffy or something antsy which gets resolved and turns to fluff
it’s you - trent alexander arnold x reader.
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quick sum: love is never easy. especially when you least expected it from liverpools finest bachelor. will you finally take the leap of faith, or lose the guy who’s willing to do the extreme for you to see reality.
wc: 1.9k | masterlist | trent’s masterlist
psa🗣️: hi angel! and hello to my trent girlies! i haven’t written for trent before so i hope you enjoy this 🤍
you felt stuck. constantly looking around and avoiding the man that had consumed your thoughts in ways you didn’t picture. feeling awkward and timid when he walked past you or your eyes connected. 
the trip was last minute, you didn’t plan to go if it wasn’t your friend insisting you went since she would be alone. you didn’t want to go, it meant you would have to see trent after you avoided him since he confessed his feelings to you. 
trent wasn’t one to speak much. always reserved and kept to himself, a completely different person on the pitch and in real life. but with you, he felt he could speak for hours about everything, not once get tired of it. you let him be the person he would’ve never pictured to be. 
what went wrong? 
he knew you from the back of your hand. needed to keep yourself busy in order to survive. an almost graduate from uni and working at your dream internship. a small volunteer worker just outside the city. 
he knew when you lied, scrunching your eyes brows and hands twitching. he knew when you felt happy, the small wrinkles and dimples popping on your face. he knew you were upset when you bit your lip and unfocused around your surroundings. 
trent knew you felt the same way he did but this time he couldn’t properly read you, left hurt and confused by your manner. “i’m in love you with y/n… i’ve never felt like this for anyone before. and it feels so right when i’m here, with you.” 
his brows drew in when your smile slowly dropped, pulling your hands back and cleared your throat. “trent…” you whispered, you clenched your jaw unsure of what to say. “i need time to think of this. i-i-i just don’t know what to say…” you stood up and grabbed your coat. 
“say you love me back,” trent prayed in his head, watching you stumble around to retrieve your belongings. “what do you mean? i confess how i feel and you’re running away?” 
“i need time to think. this is all so sudden, and i don’t want to pressure either of us. or give us false hope,” you smiled trying to reason and not break his heart. but trent’s heart broke, a millions thoughts racing in his head and the idea of not being enough tracing back. 
he fluttered his lashes and painfully smiled, was he about to cry? is this what pain felt like? a stab in the heart, millions of needles poking in his chest as his hands fisted. “well you know the way out…” trent motioned with his hand, walking to the side to let you go. 
you approached him, having the urge to explain why you said what you said, but he walked back. tears came out your eyes, knowing you hurt the man you loved in front of you. “trent,” you croaked, but he just shook his head. 
“don’t.” 
not a single soul knew of the two of you. a private secret. he wanted to protect you from his hectic world. and you wanted to have something genuine and real. you had something real. had. but like always you ruined it. like every person who walked into your life, leaving because you were scared. 
trent was straight forward with you. always communicating with you. the only person you found yourself lurking to at the end of the day. his touch lingering on you ever when you weren’t together. the way he smiled made your heart heat up and your hands slightly tremble. 
you didn’t deserve him. you were a broken person. afraid of committing. you were afraid of love. the idea of falling for a person, so hopelessly devoted to them, and in the end for it to not work out. you easily got attached, and it wasn’t any different with trent. 
trent had a way different life than yours. lights, money, women, his job, all shining on him wherever he went. he had a family, friends, a base supporting him, while you it was just your sister and trio. he constantly reminded you he wasn’t the person in the papers, which was true. 
he valued you. he trusted you. he confided in you. he respected you. he loved you. why couldn’t you just allow yourself to be with him? why did it feel hard to finally accept and take the leap of faith and be with the man who has ever truly loved you? 
you were stressed. constantly turning in your sleep. eyes closing but your head refusing for you to sleep. chest rising and falling as you listened quietly to the rain fall. the sheets barely covering your body, and the pillow feeling less fluffy and now hot. with a small groan you stood up, the time reading almost 4 am. 
you tipped tied downstairs. walking by the room your friends and his friends were occupied in. the thunder and lightning shining in the open and clear windows. you opened the cabinet and grabbed a glass, pouring cold water to relieve your dry throat. 
you closed your eyes, hands gripping the counter as you felt goosebumps suddenly rise. “couldn’t sleep?” you gasped quietly, the glass slowly tipping before quickly catching it and standing up straight. trent stood there, bags under his eyes, lips pursed with his arms crossed. muscles flexed under the loose black tee he wore with his black calvin klein boxers. 
“something like that,” you said, averting your gaze, hand coming up to brush your skin or maybe the nerves away. he stepped closer, inspecting you, noticing you were wearing the small black shirt he owned with your batman themed shorts. “same. couldn’t sleep with all the noise outside…” trent confessed, also grabbing a cold glass of water. 
you went quiet. the feeling of guilt consuming your insides as you kept asking yourself if this was truly happening. you couldn’t stop staring, savouring maybe the last few glances in case it would be the last. trying to make a mental imprint of the moles you traced while he slept, the small scar under his brow, his lips. 
your throat went dry again, but this time the cold glass of water wasn’t going to help, the only thing that could was finally take that leap and let him out of misery for the two of you. “trent…” you said softly, hearing him and finally connecting eyes. 
“don’t you think i deserve an explanation?” he asked with a sad smile. you bit your lip and nodded. “yes you do. and i’m willing to explain everything, but i understand if it’s too late,” you respected his feelings knowing he deserved this but also not wanting to push him to the limit. 
“i love you. i do. so much. i need you to know that before i start saying anything,” his eyes widened a bit, mouth opened to say something but you shushed him. “for once in my life, i can’t let you or us go. i made the mistake that night and i beat myself for it. not only did i hurt you in the process but also the idea of us.” 
“i’m scared,” you teared, smiling. “it’s scary to feel this way. to have my heart racing when i hear your name, our song, your voice. love to me always felt like a joke or fantasy. love is about letting someone know your map of flaws and imperfections. to fully be vulnerable.” 
“love with you though? is like a dream come true. you understand me more than i understand myself. you saw me for who i am and not the person i put myself to be. you love me at my prettiest and also lowest. you hold me close, kiss my forehead, and use those words of reassurance i need to hear and always believe.” 
“i love when you sleep next to me, where i get to stare at the prettiest man on earth as you sleep. i love to see your smile get bigger when i tell you about the kids at my volunteer work or my jokes. i love to sit with you at the end of the day and allow me to hear about your job and family. to see the flowers you send or bring when i see you. trent i love you, so much.” 
“i’m scared to lose you. to lose the only person i’ve let into my life this close,” you shrugged smiling painfully, holding yourself tighter as you wiped your tears away. you hear his footsteps approach, sobbing quietly when he pulls you closer to him, his hand brushing your head, feeling his lips kiss your temple. the longing feeling replaced with warmth and safety. 
your skin becoming hot and getting rid of the cold goosebumps and chilling feeling in your chest. you kiss his chest, tip toeing up as you continue to trace his neck and jaw, his cheeks with kisses mixed with your tears. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry trent,” you apologised, your hand gripping his bicep. 
“stop. don’t torture yourself anymore. let me hold you. let me feel you. it’s just you and me, okay? shhhh,” he hushed you, repeating his same movements to help you calm down. you sniffled, pulling back slightly after a minute. “i deserve you. i love you, and your imperfections and flaws. for allowing me to become the man i wished and longed to be.” 
“please don’t push me away anymore. you aren’t ever going to lose me, because what we have is eternal. your love to me is a safe space, the world and women i dreamed of having and i finally have it now. it’s you, always will be you baby,” he brushed your tears away, feeling your lips kiss his wrist and hand, losing himself in your eyes. 
“i love every single part of you.” 
the chilling counter made you hold trent tighter while laughing, feeling and hearing his deep chuckle as his hands traced your thighs. “are you ready now?” he asked, kissing your collarbone. “more than ready,” you said, officially taking the leap of faith. 
he sighed and let his shoulders fall in a relaxed manner and smiling, watching as his eyes closed and lashes touched his upper cheeks. “trent look at me…” he stood up and grabbed your chin, “i love you,” you felt the need to say to confirm your feelings and his. “i love you, pretty girl,” his nose nuzzled into your neck, tracing all the way up to your cheek. 
you sealed the night with the anticipated kiss. getting the blood rush through your veins, as you fully focused on him. his lips feeling like home. his fingers bringing your face closer to his and getting lost in the way he devoured you. not in a rushed or hard manner, in a passionate and loving way. 
“my girl officially.” 
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soobnny · 2 years ago
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to be human — han jisung. roommate au. friends to lovers. kind of comfort fic. supernatural au.
your shapeshifter friend forgets how to turn back into a human and has a crisis. inspired by this artwork. (~1k words)
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“Jisung?”
It’s quiet in your apartment where Jisung would usually blast music. It’s strange to be greeted by silence instead, a little concerning even.
“Ji?” You try calling out again, stepping cautiously inside as you briefly draw your eyes to each room in search of your roommate.
“I’m in here.” Jisung’s voice has a tone of dejection to it as he replies to you from the bathroom. Grogginess indicative of exhaustion and resignation.
You know something’s wrong.
When he hears your footsteps padding towards where he is, his tone shifts to one of panic. “Please don’t come in.”
You already know why.
“Jisung, I’m not scared of you.” The door creeks open when you enter, and Jisung is still hidden in the bathtub behind drawn out shower curtains.
He doesn’t want you to see him like this.
You know he startles easily in this state, so you do your best to keep your footsteps light, actions gentle as you peel back the shower curtain and step into the tub with him. One leg after the other. It’s small, doesn’t really fit the two of you — you press your knees to your chest in trial of a solution so you can give him more space in the tub.
A minute goes by.
“How many eyes do I have?” He squeaks, not being able to take the silence, and it’s a sign that it’s okay for you to look at him. Locking eyes with his form, you briefly scan his features, not dwelling too hard on anything. You know he wouldn’t want that.
You count in your head. One. Two. Three… “Uh, seven?”
“Just pick one to focus on.” You listen to him, eyes focused on the one of his eyes. He looks so small like this, despite doubling in his usual size, and you know cogs are turning in his brain (if he even had one). It’s been a while since he’s been stuck outside of his human form.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay.”
“Are you in pain?”
“A bit.” The pained way he speaks is so close to human emotion that it shatters you. “I’m sorry you have to see me this way.”
“You are still my friend, you know?” You try to speak with comfort. You know he needs it the most. You hope to cement in him that what he looked like didn’t matter to you — just that, at the end of the day, it was still him behind all the masks he puts on.
He scoffs. “Not looking like… this.”
“That doesn’t matter. It’s still you, isn’t it?”
A heartbeat passes. Yours. He simply sits in silence to process your words. You wonder what he’s thinking of.
“I guess.” You smile at his response. It visibly calms him down. “Oh, by the way, I got you something.”
You grab the backpack you had dropped just beside the tub. It’s his, had given it to you months ago, and there’s a picture of the two of you in the form of a keychain hanging by the zipper.
“I know you technically don’t need to eat anything but… I remember you said you really liked this when you were still human.”
It’s cheesecake wrapped in plastic, and if Jisung had a heart, he’s convinced it would be beating twice the normal rate.
You’re right, he doesn’t need to eat, but he will save it as something to remember this moment by.
“I hope it helps you remember being… you.” You place it on the space between the two of you in the tub. He’ll grab it later. There’s something else in his mind.
“Where did you get that?” Jisung questions, eyes fixated on something else entirely.
“Oh, just the bakery I pass on the way to uni.”
“No, the picture.”
“The picture?” You look down at where he’s looking. Your keychain.
“This? I always carry it on me.” You show it to him proudly. A memory passes in his head. He doesn’t remember much, but he does remember being happy the day that picture was taken.
“You do…?” You hum to confirm his inquiry. Silence washes over, and just as quick as it comes, it’s ripped away by sniffling coming from Jisung’s end.
He doesn’t cry, but it looks like he’s about to.
“Give me your hand.” You demand, though tone gentle in case he didn’t wanna be touched.
“What? No.” He’s still sniffling.
“I want to hold it.”
This time, he blinks. All seven of his eyes. Flashes of him attempting to hold your hand before, all in vain.
“Since when do you like holding hands?”
“Since now.” You mumble. Your hand is outstretched, just waiting for him to take it if he wanted.
Long sharp nails greet you, and you have to use both of your hands to hold his one properly. For a second, you feel a spark of life when your hands meet.
He feels it too.
“We’ll get through this together, okay?” Jisung lets you hold his hand. He’s looking at you now, less afraid of himself and how he looks. It’s quiet here with you, isn’t so loud. He could get used to this.
His fingers curl around your hand, completely swallowing it by the sheer size of his. Your whole hand fits in his. It feels nice. Warm in comparison to the cold he feels in this state.
“Okay.” Jisung’s tone is softer now.
It’s easier to remember what feeling human is like with you. He wonders if the unidentifiable feeling he gets when you’re with him is something he had felt back when he had a beating heart.
Wonders if the way he felt when he saw the picture you keep of the two of you mean anything to his humanness. Does it count for something if he wants to keep holding your hand every day after today?
Jisung doesn’t breathe, doesn’t bleed, doesn’t need to consume anything to survive — but he’s capable of loving, and that makes him human enough.
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unwanted-animal · 2 months ago
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WARNINGS: DEAD DOVE - DO NOT EAT. WOUND FUCKING. GURO. NECROPHILIA. HALLUCINATIONS. GUILT. DREAMSTAT. GURO.
Lestat’s shadow followed Louis everywhere, from the ship across the sea to the war-torn ravages of Europe. At first Louis loathed his appearances - he did not speak, or sing, or address Louis. All he did was stare and bleed, face devoid of emotion. Perhaps if Louis saw hatred in his eyes, righteous anger, it would have hurt less. That he could understand.
Soon, Lestat began to talk.
Je t’aime, mais tu ne m’aime pas.
Nous sommes unis par un cordon, Louis.
Es-tu heureux maintenant?
French bled into English, those hard consonants he liked to thank for his sculpted jaw. Accent thick, words heavy, they weighed on Louis like stones. He cherished them all the same. He never wanted to escape the sound of Lestat’s voice, even as it condemned him for his hateful actions.
A betrayal unlike any other. I wouldn’t expect less from you, Louis.
I’m going to fucking kill you.
Will you ever find someone to fill the void in your heart?
Thousands dead in his wake, and Lestat was the only one that felt like murder.
Claudia couldn’t hear Lestat, but she could tell when he’d come around. Louis was easy to read in those days. He’d stare into space, silent, only to scream to the smoke-filled sky in terror. Still picking a dead man over her, however tormented he might be. Clinging to his memory like a life raft in a stormy sea. Louis was scared of him, but she could feel the ache in him coursing just below that fear. Loss. Longing.
One morning, as she lay sleeping in a tomb beside him, Louis rolled to face the visage haunting his thoughts. Long blond hair spilled down his shoulders, the ends sticky with blood. Louis could smell it, the gash in his throat that wept rivers down the bone-white of his shirt. Darkness couldn’t hide his crime.
“Don’t ruin it with guilt,” Lestat said softly, carding his fingers through Louis’ loose curls. “It was beautiful. I loved the part where you screamed over me.”
“Stop,” Louis whispered. “Please, Lestat. Not now.”
“If not now, when, mon cher? Am I going to be less dead tomorrow?”
“I need to sleep -“
“You need to wait.”
“Why?”
“Because I cannot catch you if you keep moving.”
Louis reached out and touched his jaw, his hand trembling ever so faintly. Cool skin greeted him, and Lestat smiled. He could feel the scar shift beneath his palm.
“Take a walk with me, Louis.”
>> READ ON AO3<<
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deesseshesca · 6 months ago
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Message from your spirit guide
Message from your spirit team
 Just a head up …. We love you 
Good afternoon, pretty souls, today I’m channeling your spirit guides. 
Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 
Rules and Disclaimer 
I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 
TW: DV, MENTION OF ABUSE 
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PILE 1
You go ahead and purchase that Cartier bracelet that is not going to destroy your hard work. Make sure you wear it at the baby shower. We know how much you pray for your sister  regarding her fertility issue, your niece\nephew is on his/her way. And we are as excited as you. Don’t you dare overthink your body right now. You look amazing. Everyone is telling you so you better believe them. Ok you may not be at your dream weight but babe you must agree that you never looked so good. You better show off ! You told the whole truth and will be rewarded. I know you were scared to say it all because you felt like you messed up somewhere which is ok but that does not mean you deserve it. Yes, you agree to be in a relationship with him. But you did not agree to the mental abuse. You did not agree to the constant yelling, the name calling and disrespect. You did not sign for physical abuse. Whether or not you orgasm or not doesn't matter, if you did not want to do it, then nah. He did IN FACT abuse you. Let’s forget the couple slap here and there and the punches on the wall. People from his family want to drag you but everyone knows you are a good woman and did not deserve anything you were thru. We know it was an extremely stressful moment for you, but now you can sit back and relax. Everyone is congratulating you right now. Even the people on the street can’t wait but to compliment you on your glowing skin and amazing sense of style. But we know that it has been months, even years in the making. You decide to stand up when you had nothing but faith in YOU. The days that you had to stick to your diet. Stop eating your feelings. All the time you had to stick to a budget, so you can have this financial security. The hard work you did in uni so you can get the degree that got you this amazing job. Nothing grew overnight. Success looks so good on you ! The odd thing is you want more . You can see it because of the upgrade in your wallet. You went from fast food, to a five star restaurant.  You went from exam week to working in big cooperatives. But yet you want more. There are days where you feel so happy and extremely grateful for what you have but other times you fall into deep depression because you want more from life. People around you don’t get it. ‘’You went from HELL to HEAVEN’’. Not quite. There’s more for you out here. And your soul knows it and calls for it. So let’s do it. Don't let the doubtful people stop you. The success that you have at the moment, you did on your own. With very little support. So, what if you want more ? Go get it ! Stop waiting for validation when you are the standard. 
You are all about you right now. Focus on the future that you want for yourself. But people around you are calling selfish. I’m hearing ‘’ Why are you acting brand new ? Why are you so Hollywood all of the sudden ?’’. But you know better than to give those comments your attention. 
You may be a lawyer. Or a future one. You may want to start grad school. 
Advice from me : You don’t need a tower moment to know when a season is finished. If you want, go get it. That’s it, that’s all. 
What it is- Doochii
BIG SALE (CAD$)
General: 22 $
Love : 33 $
Mystery: 41 $
Message me to have the whole run down, ONLY 3 SPOTS (ONE OF EACH)
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PILE 2
We heard you… We heard you but are you telling them Always talking in front of the mirror what you are going to tell them. To tell them to fuck off. Tell them they got you fucked up. But nah. You know better. They know better. That’s why they are always coming back because you never switch up. They did. They switch is not just in your head. They are abusing you and anybody with critical thinking can see it from a continent way. I know it may not look like it in 3D but you are actually doing it. Ok you may not have the greatest grade. Ok you may not have the richest boyfriend. Ok your business is not making a milli a year . But let me remind you who the fuck you is. Nobody's surprised when you succeed because you always do. That’s why when you fail or struggle you get way more reaction since they wish upon you. But everyone knows that you are way better than them. They laugh because you don’t have the greatest grade. You are literally in one of the hardest programs. They are making fun of you while they did not even make it to uni. They are making fun of your man for not having extremely abundant funds. Not knowing the way he wakes you up with grateful text all the time, gives the best orgasm, even when he is mad, never raises his voice, always opens the doors for you, will not go to sleep without calling you, will literally throw  his whole life away just to see you smile. And he is ACTUALLY studying in a very rewarding and respectful major. Like c’mon. Those girls are out here messing with men for some cash while having a side of beating, cheating and sprinkles of hella disrespect. Literally   begging to be heard. While he's literally blowing your phone when he is with his friend because he can’t have enough of you. Your business went from being an idea to making weekly orders. They don’t even have a business. I don’t even think they have an IDEA to bring to life. Except they mean remarks and mean mug face. Since it kills them to see you win all their life, they prefer to wish for your downfall. Instead of asking for advice, lord know you would have given them some. Really girl, they wish they were you. They will accept to change life with you quicker than then their men can last, if God ask them. Why are killing yourself to impress them ? It hurts to see you go the extra mile for people that would rather see you die than to help you. Out here giving your last cent to that one annoying friend that humiliates you in front of everyone. Out here helping your mom knowing them well that she would never nurture you, even if Jesus ask her ? You don’t have nothing to prove to those people, because you are not on the same level as them. So let’s get it together and move on. They are mad at you because you are actually working towards your dream life. They thought you would stay miserable with them forever, but you know better. So YOU did better. If they mad about it let them. They were not there, when you overthink every move, when you were uncertain, when you could not sleep because of anxiety and  when you would crash on your bed completely exhausted without real result but your dreams to motivate you to keep going. Do us a favor and act like the queen that you are. 
You have a habit of loud outbursts of energy when something excites you. You give me the vibe that look like Jade (aesthetic) but act like Cat from Victorious. 
You have been putting yourself out here. The fact that you are surprise by your success get me. People been waiting for you. I feel like you think you don’t deserve it, but all your customers are more than happy. They never had such a good product. I’m hearing this is the best _$ , I spend in my life’’. In school you said you will have a academic comeback and babe YOU DID ! Plus you have a man that is sweeter than anything. Literally goes to the gym, work, study and lives to love you. (Man does he love you) 
Rules - Doja Cat
BIG SALE (CAD$)
General: 22 $
Love : 33 $
Mystery: 41 $
Message me to have the whole run down ONLY 3 SPOTS (ONE OF EACH)
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PILE 3 
We are behind you no matter what. But there's nothing we can do if you don’t act on it. You've been through a hard divorce with a very awful man. Intense narcissistic behavior. He made you believe in all his promises. You don’t have to explain yourself, we saw it coming. We also know that he was a fine con. He was all right at first. Everything a woman could wish for you got it emotionally and materially . People around you saw you guys as the ultimate couple goals. But he was hiding dark intentions. Disrespecting on a daily basis, humiliating a front of his colleague and requesting from you absolute submission and sexual intercourse when he felt like it. When you try to live you fear for your life with good reasons. You are a victim of military men. But you are not a victim of life. He mess you up so much, that your belief system is constant bad self talk. You don’t trust yourself with any decision even regarding that divorce. Knowing damn well he treated you like a piss of shit. How many times did he hold a gun at you ? How many time has he choke you ? How many times has he threatened to kill you, if you ever refuse to listen to him? Good looks and a good d were not good enough and will never be enough to deal with a deranged man.  Now, finally divorce, he is going around calling you cheater when you never did. Not that you never wanted too. Sometime you wanted im to feel as fuck as you did. But were too afraid of the repercussions. You literally have medical proof of STD’s he gave you. But God was he slick with it. Never laying hands on you but destroying everything around you. Never telling what to do or not do. Just warning you of how he would react if you did not act like he wanted. Never telling you he was cheating, just told you he needed space or asking for a threesome. Now here you are, years later. You rebuild your life on your own, brick by brick. Boundaries stronger than ever. You thought you over the self sabotage but damn is it biting you right back in front of that new man. The man of your dream. Is this one the real deal ? Or is it a trap ? You can’t take another heartbreak. But he is everything you need. There is a block coming from you. You know you are the problem. He knows you have a blockage that you are terrified to reveal and swear he will wait for you. Is that not something your ex-husband used to say before it all went south ? How can you actually trust your judgment with this one? Imagine if you are stopping him  from meeting the real one while he falls for the mess you are in. Please set yourself free. You got your divorce, you went to therapy, you develop strong boundaries but yet you are still bound to the past. You made a mistake, like all humans do. You deserve good things to happen to you. You have a way better judgment now than you did back then. Now, you actually know how to recognize a monster. You know damn well it ain’t him. Go for it, you deserve it. If it is too scary, set the pace, I swear he ain’t going anywhere. 
SELF SABOTAGE 
I was never there - Weeknd
BIG SALE (CAD$)
General: 22 $
Love : 33 $
Mystery: 41 $
Message me, to have the whole run down. ONLY 3 SPOT (ONE OF EACH)
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PILE 4
There’s a lot of things we don’t understand about you. Your love for rap music and obsession with Nicki Minaj. We don't understand that you love to learn everything and anything. We don’t understand half of the things you chat about regarding chemistry, physics or whatever other science took over your heart. But we LOVE YOU SO MUCH. We support you every step of the way ! We can’t not wait for you to have that damn degree in science that makes you cry on school night but brings a sparkle in your eyes the second a person asks you a question about it. Sometimes we push random people around you to ask about the likelihood of a cell in a decade body or something like that so we can hear you speak for hours. It gives you a glow. You aura shine so bright when you are in the lab. Even your teachers are in awe of your dedication. I know you keep reminiscing about the good old times. When having A’s in your fav subject was as easy as closing your eyes. Now you spend hours just to understand one slide in the professor PowerPoint. It is useless to beat yourself up. You are deepening your understanding about one subject at the moment. It is ok if some parts of it are harder to understand than others. I must warn you it will not be easy. You will spend more time in the library than with your friends. You will spend most of your time in the school year stuck in your room away from your loving family. But don’t hurt yourself with guilt. We are not taking your disappearance as any form of disrespect. We are so supportive of you. We never knew such a beautiful bundle of joy and knowledge would ever be born in our lineage. You know, we are a family of lawyers, business man, psychologist and philosoĥer. Your parents may not get half of that you're saying. Your brother may roll his eyes sometimes when you go on about one specific detail that sparks your interest but they are all amazing by the way your brain works. Let me tell you this, you will succeed. You will get it. We will be waiting at the finish line, with flowers and gifts to celebrate the day you will be walking on the podium. As proud as you, because we know how much work you put into every step of the way. The lonely nights, the hard exam and way too big project . Also stop procrastinating and start developing some discipline. You are not here to succeed in your exam but to prepare for your future career. Is time to build some stamina.Don’t worry, I PROMISE YOU: NOTHING BAD IS COMING YOUR WAY. It may get a little gray here and there but we are protecting you from any evil. You can calm your anxiety and enjoy the journey. I won't let ANYONE get in the way of my favorite prodigy. You may not be realizing it but are living in one of your prayers. 
I LOVE YOUR SPIRIT FAMILY. GOD ! They are amazed by you. Literally anything you do is an event that needs to be accelerated. Since you first breath they were going coco about you.  I had a clear image about your spirit team. I see 3 chair. A lot of wealth around them. One of the chairs is a throne where an older man sits in power. He was the one speaking but everyone else shared that feeling. 
So high - Doja Cat
BIG SALE (CAD$)
General: 22 $
Love : 33 $
Mystery: 41 $
Message me to have the whole run down. ONLY 3 SPOTS (ONE OF EACH)
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