#speaking of sleep. i need to go do that!!

[wileys-russo]

Hi , (Leah , apartment, "You set the kitchen on fire?!Just a little, but it means we can start the remodelling sooner, right?)

part of the milaverse remodel II l.williamson

you didn't think much of it when you were stuck at the red light and a fire engine came flying past, cars all screaming to a halt to let them through, humming along to the radio.

you'd just come from a full day of media commitments, starting at 5am with a morning radio interview and ending around 5pm with a photo shoot you were almost certain would require some serious photoshop for the bags under your eyes.

so 12 hours later, utterly exhausted and almost home, you couldn't wait to just curl up with your wife and your daughter. with nothing to do tomorrow at all you'd promised mila a family day you'd cautiously left to leah to plan, hinting heavily if it involved a sleep in and breakfast in bed you'd make it worth your wifes while.

however, every single thought was emptied from your head and replaced with the screaming of alarm bells as you turned the corner onto your street and saw the fire engine again, only this time parked right out the front of your home.

you cleared the gap in record time grateful there didn't seem to be another car on the road and you barely threw it into park before you leapt out, leaving the engine going and the keys in as you pushed your way past neighbours and onlookers without a word.

you heard a few of them call out your name but it fell on deaf ears, shrugging away the hands that poked at you until you were at the front, a tiny amount of relief flooding you as you spotted the back of your wifes head.

leah almost hit the ground as your body hurtled into hers, scowl set and mouth ready to let whoever had just shoved her have it until she realised it was you, your smaller frame wrapping tightly around hers.

"hey hey hey, stop. breathe." you rambled off a million questions a minute as several firefighters came strolling out the front door also unharmed, leahs hand coming to rest over your mouth.

"mila is fine, she's at my mums house for the night, she wasn't even in the neighbourhood when it went up." leah spoke firmly as your eyebrows shot up and you wrenched her hand off you. "when what went up leah? what the fuck happened!" you shoved at your wifes chest, anger masking the fear that was still set deep in your bones.

"thanks mate." leah smiled politely over your shoulder as one of your neighbours handed her the keys you'd left running in the car, advising he'd turned it off and locked it before ushering his own wife away, two police offers having arrived now to disperse the rest of the crowd.

"god this is going to be all over the news tonight." the blonde shuddered at the thought, quickly brought back to reality as you smacked her arm and she whined. "ow!" the defender rubbed her shoulder as you glared at her.

"what. the fuck. happened, leah?" you growled, interrupted yet again before she could answer as the captain of the fire department tapped your wifes shoulder. "you got very lucky. the blaze was contained quite easily and really its only caused damage to the one room-" you tuned him out at that, ducking away and marching off toward the house.

"thank you so much sir. really. its been a valuable lesson learned! i promise this will never happen again." leah rushed out, shaking the mans hand and standing up on tippy toes to catch the back of your head storming toward the front door.

"that the wife?" the man glanced behind him with a small chuckle as leah nodded frantically. "we'll make sure the rest of these lot clear off, and the police shouldn't need to speak to you, i'm happy to rule it an accident. good luck!" the man smiled, leah shaking his hand once again and racing off after you.

"leah. move." you warned sternly as your wife appeared in front of you right as you'd stepped through the door. "babe. now, before you take another step-" the blonde started as you scoffed, shoving past her as she winced and hurried after you.

"look love its not that-" but your jaw dropped, mouth wide open in a state of stunned shock, not a single word of leahs registered as you froze in the doorway, eyes scanning what you were sure used to be your kitchen.

"you-you-this-our-" you stammered out, hands flailing around wildly as leah rubbed the back of her neck with a grimace. "yeahh..." your wife whistled, able to take in all the damage properly herself now, though the chief hadn't been lying when he said she was lucky it was only the one room, the living room mainly untouched.

"you set the kitchen on fire!?" you rounded on her sharply, leah quickly backing up as you advanced until she backed into the fridge with a stumble. "a little?" your wife laughed nervously, your right eye twitching and leahs own gaze darted out to where the knives were, contemplating for a moment if she should move them out of your reach.

"but hey you hated that splash back! and with the insurance money it means we can start remodelling sooner, right?" she perked up hopefully as your mouth opened and closed, not even sure how to respond to that.

"how leah. how did this happen?" you spun back around away from her, eyes scanning the scorned and blackened walls in front of you as leah exhaled a small sigh of relief, subtly side stepping and pushing the knife block back out of sight.

"well. i knew you'd had a full on day and you'd be exhausted, so i organised with mum to take trouble for the night and i thought i'd make dinner-" you scoffed at that, the blonde shooting you a look.

"which i did!" she shooed you out of the way and pulled the fridge, which was mostly unscatched given it was on the other side of the room from the blaze, showing an oven dish of some sort covered over with foil.

"but then i tried making crème brûlée because i know thats your favorite, and i borrowed a blow torch-" leah started as your jaw dropped again and you shook your head in disbelief.

"you borrowed a blow torch!?" you spat out with wide eyes. "a cooking one!" leah tried to defend as you gave her a look. "i was just trying to see if it worked because i was going to finish them off once we'd had dinner and well..." the blonde guiltily gestured around as you exhaled shakily.

"i just-" you could only shake your head, staring at the damage as suddenly a million and one scenarios of how this could have ended very very differently came hurtling to the surface of your mind.

your wife grunted as suddenly you turned and rammed into her, face pressing into her neck and hugging her tightly as leah tensed up in surprised before quickly embracing you.

"i was so scared leah. i just saw the fire engine and-" you trailed off, body trembling in the blondes hold who gently shushed you. "i know love. i know. but i'm safe, mila is safe, you're safe, we're all okay." leah whispered softly, hand rubbing up and down your back as the two of you stood there hugging in silence, your wife not daring to even move until you did.

eventually your death grip on the blonde lessened a little, a few kisses pressed against your lips as your wife repeatedly assured everything was going to be okay but she knew it would take more than words and some time before you believed her.

"i'll call mum, we can stay at her place tonight with mila." leah spoke, reading your mind completely as your body sagged into hers with a small nod, adrenaline all wearing off now as the exhaustion returned and the defender tenderly kissed your forehead as you sighed.

"you are never allowed in the kitchen unsupervised ever ever again."

[fushigujiro]

boyfriend!onyankopon loves watching you get ready. don’t matter for what, how, if it’s lazy or all out, he just loves watching the process of you getting ready for anything even your temper tantrums because your hair isn’t cooperating or you have nothing to wear (your closet is full as shit). he loves the makeup part the most. he watches intensely from start to finish, just quietly sitting like an obedient boy. he observes your style when you get to the dressing part and just admiring the small details you make to accessorize your outfit. his little fashionista baby (he swears you get the drip from him).

boyfriend!onyankopon just has to touch you. he can’t just not touch he wants to touch you, he needs to touch you. he loves touching you, simple as that. everytime you guys are home he wants you cuddling by him, on him, straddling his lap, to lay his head on your thighs, your chest, your arms- he wants to be in your skin and i’m also going to add that he loves smelling you. he thinks it’s a fetish but to be honest he can’t help it he loves your natural smell and the scent combo you use all the time, makes him wanna lick you…n sometimes he does randomly but you allow it

boyfriend!onyankopon is very intimidating from afar but as you both got closer and he became your man, he’s a big ass softy not only for you but small animals. (he’s a cat lover) you both have a pet kitty at home that he secretly acts like he’s not obsessed but lets kitty sleep with you guys at night, takes her out for errands, and gets her cute clothes. one time, in the middle of the night, 3 of you were in bed and you’re just resting your eyes while he thought you were sleeping and played with kitty on his lap. he was just softly cooing at her and humming until you heard him say “i love you two girls so much” his deep voice professed, softly petting the smaller girl that purred at his touch and love…a little did he know, you did too<3

boyfriend!onyankopon is so freaking sassy it’s actually ridiculous but i’ll get to that part soon. he loves to tease you. he can never go a full day without being “did i annoy her today? i need to do so before the day ends” it’s his mission to annoy or else he wouldn’t think he was an up to par man for you apart from other things that he knows he’s got down..multiple times *wink* but i digress. he teases you, will mock you, bother you, annoy you and it’s very irritating but adoring because it’s him. though, the thing is the second you tease him back he’s like a damn sass man and so childlike which brings me back to the beginning on why i said he’s so damn sassy. muthafucka will stay having his arms crossed, looking everywhere but you, will side eye you, roll his eyes, give attitude that’ll make you be like… “is this me right now? huh??” but if you make it up to him he’s grinning like a cheshire cat…just bad

boyfriend!onyankopon is a very laid back man. he’s very chill. he’s chill about you, he’s not obsessive- crazy obsessive at that, he lets you do you and he’s your personal cheerleader (we love to see it). he will always encourage you to do anything you wanna do but because i said he’s a laid back man doesn’t mean he won’t get protective over you. if a guy bumps into you he won’t hesitate to get in front and confront the man in his face. he doesn’t have to say too much, with how he speaks, his deep almost baritone voice and his low lidded but intense gaze is enough to turn a grown man into a baby and back off scared.

boyfriend!onyankopon loves taking pictures of you. yess he loves living in the moment but then again, he can live in it and remember it when he goes to his photo album that's named 'my pretty girl🤞🏾' and looks at all the pictures and videos he's took of you over the years. baby pictures ‘n videos he got from your family, pictures you asked him to take of you when you dressed up nd felt pretty, funny pictures you both laugh at as well as pictures you'd kill him for because they’re the off guard. you’ll forever see a phone in his, has flash on ( purposely) and will go up in your face, snap it and put it as his wall paper….he loves you so much

boyfriend!onyankopon will let you do anything to him. did I mention baby boy has a whole tattoo sleeve? looks so yummy on his buff arms but I digress for the nth time. he'll let you use washable multi color markers on his tattoos as when you get bored 'cuz you tend to use him as a "experiment" is how he'd put it. if you wanna do his makeup he'll huff and puff but he'll let you do it just so he can hear your pretty laugh and gaze at that beautiful smile. wanna put a soothing face mask on him? he's agreeing. he likes doing these things with you it creates beautiful memories with his girl. he enjoys the mask, the roller, gua sha- even you tweezing his eyebrows. he'll lay back with you straddling him, his big veiny hands rubbing up and down your thick thighs whilst his eyes are closed to just enjoy the moment of you blabbering nonsense with you doing his face and kitty coming on the bed to cuddle by his shoulder....he loves it here and never would dream wanting it to end.

꒰ note ꒱.....it's been 3 years of procrastination + writers block and lord have mercy it's been too long since i've wrote something but my life has been too much since then. after some motivation from my bf and the most help (from my bf<33) i'm back again! i'm open for requests to get more things out andddd just happy to be back<3 (thank you babe for everything)

[edenspoem]

ermmm jackson!ellie fluff (that slows into suggestive themes) (not planned) trigger warning: Pregnancy. loser!faggot!GAYGAY!ellie. conclusion ellie loves milfs. center img from joelbebi.

sorry not sorry thinking about jackson!ellie x pregnant!reader (ripcord promo what about it?): who insists on throwing a baby shower for you, come rain or come impenetrable shine. now—ellie has no soft spot for parties; once, the town held a get-together for her seventeenth and invited joel, whom at the time she would entertain not a single word with, so, that speaks for itself. but something cracks her poor, forbidden and encrusted heart seeing you, sullen, fearful, and prepared to bring a little one into jackson without a smile about it. her freed heart gives itself a firm squeeze imagining all the impossible things she could give to your child—or the love of her life. but do you know that?

the whole hating-parties ordeal still strums its chord within ellie; she doesn't suck up to vanity and hosts it in joel's living room, (don't worry—they've made with good terms at this point!) all plain poppies, carnations and yellowed wallpaper (because the red means she loves you) but quite a humbling of invitations: her immediate friends and a few regulars on patrol, but nothing serious. and it especially makes sense when ellie chooses to give you your presents (or theirs) in private, the subtle rapture of conversation subdued a floor down. “here.” her freckled hands held out a box, with suspiciously good brown-paper wrapping you speculate to be joel's handiwork, unable to withhold the smile when she does. she follows along it with a continuation, “found it a long time ago—but, i guess you'll need it more than anyone else, now.” she pats her own thigh anticipatingly once its in your curious grasps, bouncing the same leg.

you sighed, soft as heaven. “you're too sweet.” and she is, going out of her capacities to accomodate your needs. the promise after that proves it. “um, you can also.. borrow or use whatever the fuck you need from my place—or joel's, cause he suggested that i.. uh, keep a warm bed ready. i think that's what he said, not sure what he meant by it though,” she all but sailed smooth, stuttering herself into confusion, and a laugh. it mattered no more, though, than the sweet, quick, quirk of her lips post-sentence, and her awkward (but cute) picking-at-a-random-spot-on-her-jeans is saliently interrupted—with a kiss. “it means you'd be sleeping on the floor.” you inched closer, catching her off-guard when she perked up at the silent shifting of the bed. “but i don't mind sharing.” moreso, when she forgets to close her eyes the second your lips clasp her upper one, surprised—but not at all complaining. she accepts it with an overwhelming kiss to reciprocate (the one she's been dreaming of, with a hungry pout and loving hand reaching up), and possibly a few marking over the round of your belly as she does what a Milf-loving-girl would do. The End <3

[muqingslover]

hiii, can you please share more goofy habits caleb has while sharing a bed with u 💝

[ By popular demand i'm here to share extra thoughts on Caleb's sleeping habits! Kinda of a part two to this, in case you missed! ]

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Oh boy there's so much to unpack here. We all know Caleb has experienced a loooot of bad things and has not worked through them in an actual healthy way at all. He is also a master at hiding it from you, but you can get a glimpse of how damaged he truly is during bedtime.

First of all, you will rarely, if ever, catch him sleeping on an actual bed. Or sleeping at all to be honest. What Caleb does is take power naps whenever he can on his couch at the office or when he's at your place waiting for you to. The one to (partially) blame for this is his chronic insomnia. I like to believe Caleb has always been a very light sleeper and it's only gotten worse throughout the years— The sound of a door opening is enough for him to be wide wake in a matter of seconds. Trust issues anyone?

When he wakes up, if alone, his go-to activity is working out. He'll do push-ups or leave the house for a loooong late night jog, anything that will tire his body out since he's wired up. Then, he takes a freezing cold shower to reboot his system and either starts to work early or sits down to solve some calculus problems to prevent his mind from thinking about anything else since it's 98% of the time never anything good.

To add to that, the main reason as to why his insomnia is so bad is the fact he has nightmares on an almost daily basis. They're often about you in some way and he wakes up panicking about where you are, how you are, if you're with someone else, why you aren't here with him instead and if you plan on leaving him. That's why it's so crucial for Caleb that you stay somewhere he can see you whenever he needs to. Otherwise, his anxiety will gnaw at him until he just shows up unprompted on your front door in the middle of the night.

On the topic of nightmares, next thing on the list is a more...sensitive one: His reactions to nightmares that involves the abuse Caleb himself went through. I say sensitive because this man is a trained soldier and he wakes up in very high alert which, sometimes, means he might hurt you by pure reflex similar to retired war veterans.

The first time you woke up with his hands tightly wrapped around your neck you seriously thought you were a goner. The sound of your voice calling his name was fortunately enough to make him snap out of the haze he was trapped in, believing he was under the threat of the ghosts of his past and had to defend himself before it was him the one who would end up dead. You have always been his anchor, it was not a surprise that you were the only one able to pull him back even in a moment like this.

Regardless if he had been in control or not, Caleb would blame himself until his last day on this world. He wouldn't sleep (Key word being sleep because he will stay in bed with you, he just won't *sleep*) on the same bed as you anymore after this and instead spends his nights on a mattress on the floor next to you. The sight of your bruised neck and the tears in your eyes because of his hands, because of him, only serve as fuel for his nightmares. He doesn't even want to imagine what would've happened if you hadn't been able to speak loudly enough to wake him up.

"Caleb is a big spoon!!" people yell at me and I agree! However! If you want this man to have some peaceful sleep then the only way to achieve that is to have him laying on your chest where he can both listen to your steady heartbeat and feel your warmth as he holds you. Run your fingers through his hair and promise him you'll be right there when he wakes up to soothe his anxieties as much as possible and he might just sleep throughout the entire night.

Moving on to more sweet thoughts so we don't end on a bitter note— He has serious beef with the plushies you own, specifically the ones you hug to sleep. I mean, he's right here? Hello??? Why would you want to hug that fat ass bear of yours. If your plushie goes missing one day through suspicious means don't be sad because you can just cuddle him! He promises he'll behave this time!

Another silly thing is Caleb cannot keep his hands to himself when the two of you are sharing a bed. Literally. His hands have a will of their own and they must be touching you at all times in some way. That also means he will bother you by torturing tickling you non-stop until you're on the verge of tears. He loves the sound of your joyful laughter and how red your face gets while you try to escape the evil tickle monster so I'm afraid there's no way to get him to actually stop.

[agneaul]

i can’t sleep so i wrote this

Harsh, white light illuminates your face in the dark. You’re meant to be asleep. If you want to be any version of productive in the morning, you need to go to sleep. You’re exhausted, too tired to even rest. The bed creaking with laughter at every toss and turn, mocking your weariness.

You need to go to sleep.

Instead, your thumb scrolls down your phone screen. Tara certainly posts a lot. You’re careful not to like any of her posts however - she’ll see the timestamp and fret over you in the morning. Best not to worry her, she has enough on her plate.

The sudden vibration of your phone jolts you out of your mindless haze. Blink once, twice. Read the contact. Sylus.

For a split second you consider ignoring him, he’s probably going to pull you into some mess - then again, if he’s calling you this late…he could be in trouble? A deal must have gone wrong, or he’s gotten into a fight with a Wanderer. What if he needs your help?

You answer quickly, speak on an urgent breath. “Are you okay?”

His easy chuckle flows over the line, your shoulders untense. Damn him.

“Worried about me, kitten?”

You huff, easily pull a lie out from under your pillow. “You just woke me up, what do you expect?”

He scoffs, a familiar sound to you at this point. “I expect honesty. you weren’t asleep at all, were you?”

You roll over on your back with a sigh. You force out a dramatic yawn to double down. “How could you know that? My curtains are drawn, Mephisto can’t see in here.”He chuckles openly at this, you both know he’s not above sending his mechanical little spy to check on you.

Metal clicks and clinks over the phone, you have a brief but vivid image of his hands disassembling a revolver. You swallow.

Sylus’s voice is matter-of-fact, he’s knowingly caught you in a lie. “The twins saw that you are ‘currently active’ online.”

Your silence is all the answer he needs.

Again, he laughs.

A surge of irritation forces a groan out of you. You can feel his smug little smile all the way in Linkon.

“Alright, you caught me!” You drape your forearm over your eyes, heave out another sigh. “I can’t sleep, okay? did you call to pester me or tell me a bedtime story?”

The line is quite a moment, except for the weighty, metal thunks - the distinct sound of bullets being loaded into a chamber.

“Would that help you fall asleep?” Sylus’s voice softens around the edges in a way you haven’t heard before. You eye your phone skeptically…You (of course) won’t admit it to him, but the deep timbre of his voice does help you relax.

With a hum, you adjust your pillow, pull the blanket up your chest. “If you insist, i won’t stop you.”

He scoffs at your teasing lilt. All the way in the N109 Zone, he smiles at you.

Sylus clears his throat, and begins telling you a (rather boring) story about a girl who spent most of her days stuck inside a sanctuary.

Before he can get to the ending, you’re already asleep. Sylus listens to your steady, even breaths - his shoulders untense.

You’re fast asleep, so you don’t hear him say, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

[crippleprophet]

let me open by saying I Know How This Sounds (fem whose undergraduate chemistry professor recommended ze take turmeric to cure zyr arthritis, etc) so no hard feelings if you keep scrolling, but hopefully folks who know me know i'm speaking honestly about my experiences, even if those don't end up being the same for other people. so!

2 Tbsp of a common kitchen spice is doing as much or more to manage my ME/CFS as any of my meds or self-medicating drugs

@lakeeffectbitch outlines a way of trying this with a control in their reddit post (link); i just went directly to the one they thought might work so i'll put my experiences & the science/theory behind this under a cut for folks who want to avoid potential placebo effect :)

i'll get more specific about this in the "spoilers" but please be aware, especially folks with diabetes or other blood sugar conditions, that this substance may cause a blood sugar drop. it's less likely at this dose but probably keep a sugary snack on hand just in case

if you experience post-exertional malaise & want to try this but don't have spare money to spend on spices feel free to dm me & i'll see if i can help!

my experience:

i took 2 Tbsp ground sumac mixed with warm water on February 11. i tried taking it with a straw first because that's what my colonoscopy prep had said would make that go down easier but because the sumac particles were so big they didn't want to remain suspended & trying to get them in the straw was difficult, which then made it harder to swallow without, yknow, noticing that you're slurping down sediment

what worked better was getting the powder wet, putting a big clump of it on my tongue, then swallowing it with water like a pill

within about half an hour of taking the sumac it was like my fatigue just faded around me where i stood. it dissolved to the background & when i thought "oh i want to do this" or "i should do that" suddenly i found myself just doing it. i had spent the past week at least bedridden except for the bathroom, & though i took the sumac on a better day, i'd been planning to return to bed with a snack after taking it.

instead, i made myself lunch, and i sat on the couch to eat it. all of this was without taking an edible that day; usually i've gotta take at least 25mg delta 8 + 25mg cbd to even consider sitting on the couch. also, it was storming.

from my write-up the day of: "everything felt very sharp & clear & lucid." i washed the dishes from my lunch. all of these activities were about 2 hours, & at that point i emphatically needed a nap. waking up felt like after taking a muscle relaxer & sleeping: my muscles were more relaxed, & my whole body felt like it'd gotten a bit of a break

i've taken sumac at least 8 times since then on at least 5 different days (this time by modifying this sumac tart recipe to include a lot of sumac powder in the crust, which has been much more enjoyable than the Glass O' Sediment lmao) & adjusting for factors like weather, the effect has been comparable every time:

i watched Inception on the couch with my husband, & understood when she explained things to me

i watched leverage on the couch all day when it was below freezing

i worked a bit on fanfics i've barely been able to touch in a year

i "meal prepped" measuring spices, gathering ingredients, & soaking beans to make beans & rice in the instant pot later that day. i literally can't remember the last time i was able to use my instant pot, after thinking about it i think it was when i made palak paneer last summer, but that was a one-off special occasion thing, i've used it maybe 3 other times since developing ME

i wrote this post

the science:

okay a lot of this shit was over my head before i developed ME so i'm gonna be summarizing at my level lol, look to @lakeeffectbitch for a higher-level analysis

but what i do know! (all images from "The malic acid inhibiting inflammation in ankylosing spondylitis by interfering M1 macrophage polarization" by Ji et al., January 2025)

sumac contains high levels of malic acid, which is found in certain fruits (apples, peaches, etc)

the drugs.com page classifies malic acid as an inactive ingredient, so there are no known drug interactions

mice with ankylosing spondylitis had lower levels of peripheral malic acid than control mice

ID: bar graph showing mice with AS had about 0.03 micromoles per milliliter of peripheral malic acid, compared to the control mice level of over 0.2 micromoles per milliliter. the difference is labeled significant via asterisks. end ID

mice with higher malic acid concentrations had lower ESR and CRP (inflammation markers)

ID: two graphs showing lines with a downward slope. the top graph, ESR versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6802, 95% confidence interval =-0.8843 – -0.2578, p=-0.0053. the graph shows ESR, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. the bottom graph, CRP versus malic acid concentration, is labeled: r=-0.6068, 95% confidence interval =-0.8537 – -0.1371, p=-0.0165. the graph shows CRP, an inflammation marker, decreasing as malic acid concentration increases. end ID

mice treated with malic acid had lower levels of TNF-alpha than the mice with untreated ankylosing spondylitis. humira & similar biologics that treat autoimmune diseases are TNF-alpha blockers

ID: a bar graph of relative mRNA expression of TNF-alpha. M0, the control mice, has a relative expression of 1. M1, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis that did not receive treatment, has a relative expression of slightly less than 4.5. M1+MA, the mice with ankylosing spondylitis who received the malic acid treatment, has a relative expression slightly less than 3. this indicates that the mice treated with malic acid had lower expression of TNF-alpha than the untreated mice. asterisks between M0 and M1 and between M1 and M1+MA indicate significance. end ID

the mitochondrial function of M2 macrophages in mice treated with malic acid "was significantly enhanced"

analysis of the mice's spinal tissue blew my fucking socks off. trying not to jump to conclusions & i know journal articles are full of errors but that looks potentially disease-modifying.

ID: a 5x3 presentation of samples of mouse spinal tissue. the control mice, which are healthy, have thick, undamaged, glowing tissue. the mice with ankylosing spondylitis have thin, curved, cracked-looking tissue. the mice treated with celecoxib, a common prescription NSAID for arthritis, appear very similar to the untreated mice. the mice treated with 250mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue in between the untreated and healthy appearances; the tissue is "glowing" like the healthy tissue but still narrower and curved, although less so than the untreated tissue. the mice treated with 500mg/kg of malic acid per day have tissue which looks even closer to the healthy appearance, with less curvature than the other treatment groups. end ID

since i started drafting this post i've started taking these malic acid supplements from Nature's Life – the full dose made me feel weird including some heartburn so i cut the capsules & take roughly 2/3 – 3/4 of it at a time (i drop the rest into a spare pill jar to make more doses from). it's been similarly effective for me

please be aware that the supplement instructions say to only take it once a day, i haven't had any issues but everybody is different & this avenue is definitely under-researched! (the mice were given 250mg/kg per day which for me would be like 27 grams but i am not a mouse lol)

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

I'm curious about the if scenario of player who snuck away from platonic yandere Doey.

How would Doey or the three personalities react if player sneaks out of the safe haven but dies or gets badly hurt for some reason and Doey finds it?

If this makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to ignore

Oh, this is going to be sad. You have been warned!

If you like my work, please consider commissioning me or leaving a tip on Ko-fi (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Yandere Doey & badly injured Player

★ Doey was frustrated when he discovered you had snuck away. When he found you, his heart sank. You were slumped over in one of the interrogation rooms, badly hurt. But thankfully nobody else had found you, if someone had, you would've been eaten by now.

★ Matthew, the most "grown up" of the three, was the first to react in any meiningful way. "We need to help them. Now!" He can't help but blame himself for not keeping a closer watch on you. Doesn't help that Kevin shares his opinion.

★ Kevin's first reaction is to try and find someone or something to blame. "How could they do this?!?" He shouts at Mathew. Lashing out at him because he is the closest target. His rage, however, quickly fades as Doey begins to look you over.

★ Being the most emotional, Jack tries to let Mathew and Kevin take charge. But as he sobbed uncontrollably, his tears left through Doey's eyes. "Please don't be mad at me" he thinks. When you feel better, he will need some hugs.

★ He hadn't been able to protect you, and now you were suffering because of it. As the days passed, he barely left your side. Slightly paranoid that if he looks away, you'll try to leave again. And trust me, that won't be happening.

★ At night, when the others in the Safe Haven were resting, Doey stayed awake. The feeling of inadequacy loomed over them all. When you stirred in your sleep he was immediately by your side. Ready to comfort you if you woke up.

★ Whenever you speak about leavening, Jack's personality shines through. His eyes well up and tug at your heartstrings in a way that’s impossible to ignore. “Please don’t go. I don’t… I can’t see you hurt again.”

★ Matthew tries to balance Jack's emotions with logical arguments. "Do you remember what happened last time?" And "We can't protect you if you keep running off." He would say, his voice steady.

★ Being the last resort, Kevin will turn to fear in an effort to keep you safe. "Do you want to end up like last time?" he would ask, his voice lower and more threatening than usual. "We can't protect you if you keep running off." His tone was harsh, but there was an unmistakable fear in his words.

[wbbfannnnnn13]

Almost, Always - Chapter 9

paige x azzi

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

A/N: I think I'll just let this chapter speak for itself, but just a heads up, this is mostly angst. The next handful of chapters will be a little shorter so I can go back and forth on perspectives as I advance the storyline without confusing myself lol.

Hope ya'll like it!

WC: 2.5k+

Chapter 9: The Spiral 

Paige didn’t sleep. She was spiraling, and it started the second her head hit the pillow, if not earlier. Her chest felt tight, her thoughts too loud, looping the same questions she couldn’t outrun. Was this the beginning of the end? Or had they already passed that point and she just hadn’t realized it yet?

She stared at the ceiling for hours, jaw tight, stomach twisted, phone still glowing beside her like a taunt. Her body was exhausted, but her mind wouldn’t shut up, looping the same questions, the same anger, the same regret.

How did this happen? Why did this happen?

She was mad at herself. For being naive enough to think that love could conquer all, even when she’d seen how unforgiving the world could be. Azzi had once told her that love didn’t mean much if it couldn’t withstand the hard parts, and Paige had believed her. But now, lying in bed with regret crawling under her skin, she wondered if maybe she’d mistaken hope for strength. Maybe she’d underestimated just how much pressure came with being seen. That it would be strong enough to hold under the weight of exposure, instead of warping under it. Believing the media wouldn’t be able to affect their relationship. She lay there questioning all the choices over the past few months. Maybe she had stepped out into the light of her relationship with Azzi too fast, hoping their love would be enough to steady the glare. Maybe she'd been foolish to think their love could exist outside the scrutiny of the public eye.

More than anything, she just wanted to hear Azzi’s voice. That was all she kept thinking. The silence was unbearable. It was unfamiliar because it wasn't like Azzi at all. Her last text to Azzi had been simple, desperate: I just want to hear your voice. And now, with nothing but the faint glow of her screen beside her, Paige realized how deeply she meant it. It wasn’t even about fixing anything. She just needed that one grounding sound—the one thing that always made her feel like she wasn’t drowning—her voice. 

She told herself to stay off her phone, but curiosity got the better of her. Soon she was scrolling through TikToks, watching people stitch her press conference moment, where she’d all but confirmed her relationship with Azzi, against the photo from the restaurant and that old college video. Clips of strangers reacting to fragments of her life, dissecting her body language, her words, her choices. Some came to her defense, calling out the double standards, the reach of internet speculation. But others were quick to pile on, questioning her loyalty, her values, even who the woman in the restaurant photo was.

How people were taking two disconnected moments to spin a story that couldn’t be further from the truth made her feel sick. And yet, that story had traction now. It wasn’t just background noise—it was starting to shape perception. Paige knew her agent was already working with a PR team to do damage control, but she couldn’t stop thinking about how little that actually mattered. The rumors were already circulating, the headlines already shaping opinions, and no statement or carefully worded press release could rewind what had already sunk its teeth into the narrative. 

And she hated that. She hated having her integrity and values called into question. She had always tried to be a good person, someone others could look up to- a role model for younger girls and boys who followed her career. Now there was this blemish on her name, her reputation, and her career. She wished she could brush it off. But she couldn’t. The noise still got to her—still found the cracks in her armor, still made her feel exposed in ways she couldn’t shake.

What cut deepest wasn’t the internet or the headlines. It was wondering what Azzi thought. That’s what mattered most. That’s what kept her spiraling. Not strangers’ assumptions, but the silence from the one person whose opinion could actually hurt her.

Azzi hadn’t answered. Not after three FaceTimes, a call, five texts. Just silence. Paige couldn’t stop thinking about how it must have looked from her perspective. And worse, how it made Azzi feel.

She cared what people thought. She always had. But that paled in comparison to how much she cared about what Azzi thought. That silence meant something. And the more it dragged on, the more Paige began to wonder if it meant everything.

Some anonymous account had handed that video to Azzi raw. Without context. Without nuance. Without explanation. Of course Azzi was upset. How could she not be?

And Paige resented the way that memory resurfaced, uninvited and sharp, cutting through everything she’d tried to leave buried. She didn’t like remembering that version of herself—the one who reacted instead of thinking, who tried to numb her hurt instead of facing it. But there it was again, playing on a loop in her head. The truth was, yeah, she got drunk that night. Stupid drunk. Sloppy, loud, reckless in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. And that girl? The one from the video?

She didn’t even remember her name.

She’d barely spoken to her. Someone handed her a shot glass, another song came on, and she let herself get lost in the noise. She danced, laughed too loud, leaned into the distraction. Somewhere in her head, a bitter thought had crept in—If Azzi doesn’t care, why should I? It wasn’t spiteful, not fully. Just wounded and impulsive, the kind of reckless thinking that never led anywhere good.

It wasn’t some calculated betrayal. It wasn’t planned. It was messy and impulsive and fueled by the kind of hurt Paige didn’t know how to sit with at the time. And yeah, maybe the girl had kissed her neck, and maybe Paige didn’t stop it fast enough. But it hadn’t meant anything. Nothing about that night meant anything.

Except the regret.

Because the truth was, Paige had brought the girl home. Not because she wanted her, but because she was drunk, angry, and aching for something to distract her. They had stumbled back to her apartment, laughing too loud, still riding the buzz of liquor and adrenaline. The girl had started to kiss her, hands wandering, breath warm against her skin. Paige let it go for a moment—long enough to feel like she was slipping into something she couldn’t come back from.

But she pulled back. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t pretend. Because no matter how far she tried to run from the hurt, it wasn’t this girl she wanted. It never had been. And she knew, even drunk, even reckless, that sleeping with someone else wouldn’t dull what she felt for Azzi. It would just make it worse. And she wasn’t cruel enough to use someone just to try and forget the person she couldn’t stop loving.

She had mumbled something—an apology, maybe—and asked the girl to leave. Alone again, she’d collapsed into bed with the taste of regret already sour in her mouth.

She hadn’t slept with anyone. But it still felt like a betrayal. Because she knew that no matter how she tried to distract herself, there was only ever going to be one person she wanted. Azzi had always been the one. No one else even came close.

She’d never told Azzi the whole story. Not what it looked like, not what it meant, and definitely not how much it had stuck with her afterward. They’d patched things over, but only on the surface. They’d talked around it, avoided the sharp edges, and let time do the smoothing. But they’d never gone back to that night, never really unpacked it. And now, Paige couldn’t shake the feeling that Azzi might think something worse had happened. Maybe she thought Paige had crossed a line she hadn’t. Maybe she’d filled in the blanks with her own worst assumptions. That thought turned Paige’s stomach. Because Azzi’s silence didn’t just feel like space—it felt like suspicion. And there was nothing worse than knowing the person you loved might be doubting you.

There was another part that made her chest tighten. The photo from the restaurant—of Paige laughing with the woman no one recognized. The internet had latched onto it quickly, theories spiraling within hours. But now, as she replayed it, she wondered how it might have looked to Azzi. Out of context, it looked… loaded. Suspicious, even. And if Azzi asked about it, Paige wasn’t sure how she’d explain without spoiling everything. The truth wasn’t scandalous—it was a secret she’d been carefully planning for weeks.

She even started to wonder if Azzi had actually been upset about the video at all, or if Paige had just projected all her guilt onto it. Maybe it wasn’t the past that stung, but what the present now revealed. What if Azzi was more unsettled by the photo from the restaurant—the woman with her hand on Paige’s arm, the one Paige hadn’t even mentioned—than the video itself? What if it wasn’t about what had happened back then, but about the cracks that had started to show now? What if the silence wasn’t about an old mistake, but about what it exposed—everything Paige had never said, never explained, never been brave enough to confront out loud?

That doubt started to twist in her chest. Maybe the silence was an indication of something deeper. A shift. A change in how Azzi saw them—saw her.

What if this wasn’t just about old mistakes but about the pressure they were both under now? What if Azzi was starting to believe that Paige wasn’t strong enough to carry the weight that came with being seen? The thought gnawed at her, subtle and constant. The questions pressed against her chest, heavy and unyielding, turning her worry into a slow, suffocating ache. Paige could only hope Azzi would answer—just one message, one reply, anything to bridge the silence stretching between them.

She got up sometime after sunrise, unable to lie there anymore. Her body moved on autopilot. Coffee. Shower. A half-eaten granola bar. Everything mechanical, nothing comforting. Her phone remained untouched, unanswered, the screen lighting up with notifications she didn’t check. Because none of those notifications were from Azzi. Paige kept checking, hoping for something, anything. But there was nothing. Just silence. And the longer it stretched, the more it settled into her bones, cold and unrelenting.

Then her eyes landed on the drawer.

She walked over, pulled it open, and gently sifted through everything inside. Beneath a few loose papers and old notebooks sat a small, light blue box, barely the size of her palm. The color alone made her heart ache—a soft, almost sentimental shade that had felt perfect the moment she’d seen it. Inside was a ring. Simple and elegant, set in a delicate silver band with a single diamond, understated but striking. She’d spent weeks finding it—researching styles when no one was watching, texting Aaliyah, Nika, and KK in their group chat late at night with options.

From a couple of weeks ago. 

GROUP CHAT — “No One Tell Azzi 💙"

Paige: ok i’m losing it. which one of these says “marry me forever” but like… in a chill, non-flashy, not-insanely-expensive way???

Paige: like obviously I’d sell a kidney for her but I want it to feel like us not like I robbed a Tiffany’s 😭

Aaliyah: paige omg BREATHE 💀

Aaliyah: but top row, second from the left. it’s giving “lifelong love but make it soft”

Nika: yeah that one. it’s subtle but still says “I’d walk into traffic for you”

KK: you’re so deep in the trenches lmao just pick the one that makes your heart do a cartwheel

Paige: I’m STRESSING. what if it’s too much?? what if it’s not enough?? she’s not even into jewelry like that. she deserves something perfect but like perfect in a quiet way not perfect in a shiny way

Paige: why am i sweating. i’ve looked at the same five rings 47 times

Aaliyah: you’re spiraling and honestly it’s beautiful to witness

Aaliyah: this is like watching a rom-com meltdown in real time

KK: proposal brain got her in a chokehold

Nika: fr you’re one Pinterest board away from completely blacking out

Paige: I JUST WANT HER TO LOVE IT 😭

Aaliyah: she’s gonna say yes even if you propose with a ring pop pls relax

KK: honestly she might like that more 💀

Paige: stop i’m actually considering it now

They’d teased her, but they’d helped her too. It made her feel closer to all of them again, like college hadn’t slipped so far behind her. And it made the idea of proposing feel real, like it belonged to a future that was possible—not just a dream she kept tucked away. That tiny box was a piece of that future. One she’d picked with her people, for her person.

She stared at it for a long time, the weight of it in her hands heavier than she’d anticipated. Not just the metal. But what it meant. What it risked. What it promised.

Then she carefully placed it back and closed the drawer. As her fingers lingered on the handle, something heavy pulled at her chest. That ring, the one she’d chosen on instinct, quietly and without fanfare, held more than intention. It held memories. The bus rides at USA camp, when Paige started to realize Azzi wasn’t just important — she was everything. The first time she saw Azzi laughing in the kitchen of her dorm, barefoot and wrapped in one of her hoodies. The quiet nights tangled on the couch, the whispered dreams about a future they’d only just begun to believe in. The way her name sounded when Azzi said it after a long game, tired but warm. The nights after big wins in college, when they’d sneak off from the noise and stretch time between them — some nights talking for hours about what came next, other nights not speaking at all, just wrapped around each other in quiet, wordless connection that felt like everything. That ring wasn’t just a promise for someday. It was a symbol of every version of them that had existed along the way, every moment that made Paige sure. And now, it sat tucked away in a drawer, waiting. Just like she was.

It wasn’t a decision. Not fully.

It was a pause. A hesitation between the life she wanted and the fear she thought she’d recently outgrown—a fear that still knew exactly where to find her. And now, it whispered something even colder: maybe Azzi didn’t want this anymore. Maybe the silence wasn’t about sorting through things, but stepping back altogether. That thought alone tightened every nerve in Paige’s body, and made her question whether she’d mistaken progress for permanence, hope for certainty.

[oopsiedaisydeer]

ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ

…𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘣𝘰𝘺!𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰

phone sex, angst, loneliness, mental health struggles, sub!chris?, longing, vulnerability, petnames, intimacy, anonymous relationship, love square?

word count - 2k

Daisy sat back on her bed, lazily flicking through the pages of an old magazine, the quiet of her room wrapping around her like a cocoon. The phone sat on the nightstand, the faint hum of the city outside her window the only sound. 

Then, the sharp ring of the hotline broke the silence, making her jump slightly. She reached for the receiver, her fingers brushing the smooth plastic as she answered.

“Hello, this is Daisy speaking.”

“Hey, Daisy,” came the familiar voice, a warmth creeping along her face.

“Hey, Sun. How’s it going?” She leaned back, trying to keep things light, her fingers playing with the cord.

“Ah, same old, you know,” he replied with a soft chuckle, but it sounded a little off, like something was weighing on him. 

“Been thinking about you.” His voice dropped a little lower, the words lingering in the air.

Daisy’s fingers stilled. “Thinking about me, huh?” She could hear the smile in her own voice, the one she had fought to bury under the guise of professionalism. This was just another job. But there was curiosity behind it now. She knew ‘Sun’ well enough to recognise when he was skirting around something.

“Yeah,” he said, and there was a noticeable hesitation before he continued. “I’ve been wanting to… for a while… to ask you for something different.”

Daisy’s heart skipped a beat. "Different how?" she asked, keeping her tone casual but feeling the shift in the air.

There was a pause, and she could almost picture him fidgeting, trying to find the right words. “I don’t just want to talk, Daisy. I... I want to feel close to someone, like... really close, you know? Not just words on a phone.” He exhaled sharply, his breath shaky. “I want you to feel good too. To make someone else feel good.”

She felt a twinge of something in her chest at the softness in his voice. The genuine need. It was a side of him she hadn’t heard before, but now that it was here, in front of her, it struck deep.

“You want me to feel good too?” she echoed, her voice shifting from professional to something more personal, almost tentative. She was used to guiding, used to hearing the desperation in his voice, but hearing him say that made her heart race a little.

“Yeah,” his voice was raw, a quiet pleading wrapped around his words, “Not just me. I want you to feel good too. Can we… can you do that?”

Daisy let the words hang in the air for a moment, feeling the heat creeping up her neck, her pulse quickening. It wasn’t the typical call, and she could tell he was searching for something more, something crossing even their unusual routine.

“I can do that, Sun,” she said, her voice a little lower, a little more intentional now. “Tell me what you need.”

“I just—” His voice wavered, but there was a sense of need now, of real vulnerability she didn’t hear often. “I just want to hear you. Please.”

Daisy’s breath caught at the rawness in his tone, his words softer than usual, as though he was trusting her more than he usually did. Her fingers brushed lightly over her own skin, an unconscious movement that made her feel almost as exposed as her words. She tried to push the shame away, but it clung to her like a shadow.

“I’m here, sweet boy,” she murmured, her tone so gentle that it felt like a touch. “I’ll take care of you.”

His breath came out in a quick, almost frantic exhale, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please. Just... make me feel you. I need you.”

Daisy did something completely stupid then. She slipped her hand under her sleep shorts, laying her hand gently against her slit. It wasn’t like she’d never been affected by particular calls before, but she’d never acted on it, not properly given in before. She tried to steady her breath, keep her voice clear as she spoke again.

“You’re such a sweet boy, Sun… are you touching yourself for me?”

“Mmm yes, Daisy,” he whined into the phone, voice already straining.

Daisy’s breath hitched, fingers brushing the side of her neck as she closed her eyes, Why am I doing this? But it wasn’t about that, was it? It was about the quiet way his presence filled the space between them. Her pulse quickened, a quiet heat spreading through her that she couldn’t explain but didn’t want to stop.

She felt a twinge of guilt twist in her chest as she continued, her fingers trembling not just with desire, but with the weight of the choice she was making. She rubbed a soft, slow circle around her clit with her index finger, “Baby, you sound so needy right now.” 

“I am Daisy, don’t know why, you get me so-” he said, interrupting himself with a groan, “Wish it was you here, right now.”

Her heart sinks, just like the heat does, pooling in her abdomen as she continues her slow movements. It’s too late though, it sends a rush through her, and before she can even stop to think, she’s being stupid again, her voice a mix of insistence and cautiousness. 

“If you were here, what would you do?”

He inhaled sharply, the breath ragged and impatient. “I’d... I’d touch you, everywhere sweetheart. Put my hands on your hips. Feel your skin. Taste you.” His words came out in a rush, each one sending a shiver down her spine. “I’d love every inch of you, Daisy.”

Daisy’s breath came out in a shaky exhale, her body reacting to his words, to the hunger in his voice. “You’re eager to please, Sun…” she murmured, her voice a soft taunt.

Her caller let out a sound that was almost a growl, his breath catching at her words. “Yes,” he admitted, his voice heavy with need. “I want... I want to please you… just…”. He cut himself off, his breath ragged, his control slipping.

She was dripping now, slowly edging herself whilst she listened to his desperate sounds, and she sped up her movements. Daisy teased her opening with her fingers, just enough so that she could still maintain her composure. 

“Are you going to come baby?”

Sun’s breath got even heavier at the question, a deep gasp escaping his lips. “Yeah,” he managed to say, his voice shaking, “Yeah, I... I can’t hold back, Daisy. It’s too much.”

The words sent a shiver down her spine, her body responding to them, to the heat in his voice, the need in his words. “Are you ready?” she said, her voice a soft gasp, “Come with me like a good boy.”

“Daisy,” Sun gasped out, his voice strained but needy, “I’m close. I’m so close.” It was a plea, a gasp, a desperate need for release. 

She moaned in response, soft but full of need, the sound sending a jolt through Chris on the other end. “Daisy,” he said, his pleading voice thick with pleasure, “Please let go. I want to hear from you. Please.”

And she did, her body shuddering as they both came, a low moan escaping her lips. The pleasure coursed through her, leaving her trembling and breathless. “Fuck…”, Chris bit out, his own climax rolling over him, leaving him panting and shaking. “Daisy... fuck... I…”. His words dissolved into ragged breaths.

As her fingers brushed the soft fabric of her shirt, a subtle shiver ran through her. The room felt too quiet now, too still, as if everything around her had slowed down to focus solely on the heat rising in her cheeks. Daisy’s body hummed with the aftershocks, her thoughts swirling, unable to grasp the magnitude of what had just happened. But her heart still beat a little faster, and she wondered if he felt the same.

The phone is warm against her ear, slick where she’s pressed it to her cheek. Her breathing is uneven, drawn out in shallow inhales that don’t quite steady her, no matter how hard she tries. Her hand, still trembling, falls slack against the sheets, fingers curling weakly into the fabric.

Chris’s voice drags through the speaker, rough and ruined, something low and unfiltered slipping out between breaths. She shivers, warmth coiling in her stomach at the sound of him like this—unraveled, lingering in the same haze she’s caught in.

The silence that follows is thick, heavy with the weight of what they’ve done. Not quite a secret, not quite something real. Just this.

Daisy exhales, grounding herself in the rhythmic static of the line, the quiet proof that he’s still there. Still with her.

The phone crackles faintly, the air between them thick with the aftermath of what just happened. Chris lies back on his bed, his breathing still unsteady, his hand resting on his chest. There’s a quiet comfort in the silence, a strange sort of peace that feels almost too soft after all that tension.

He can hear Daisy’s breath on the other end, slow and steady, the sound of her being just as calm and grounded as he’s trying to be.

Chris swallows, his voice rough. “That was… that was a lot.”

Daisy’s laugh is quiet, gentle, more of a hum than anything else. “Yeah… I know.”

They both settle into the soft hum of the phone line, neither of them rushing to break the silence. The weight of the moment lingers, but it’s no longer suffocating. It’s just two people, breathing, existing in this odd, unspoken understanding.

“You good?” Daisy asks after a while, her voice soft and caring, like she’s genuinely checking in.

“Yeah,” Chris says, his lips curving into a small smile. “I’m good.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then she speaks again, this time with a tone that’s different—gentle, almost wistful. “You know, Sun, I think you’re ready to put yourself out there. Whenever you’re ready, of course.”

The words hang in the air, soft and quiet but somehow weighty. Chris blinks, his mind momentarily racing. “What do you mean?”

Daisy’s voice is warm, full of that calm reassurance that always seems to settle his restless heart. “You don’t have to stay stuck, you know? I think you’re capable of more than just… well, this.”

Chris presses his lips together, feeling the faint stirrings of something in his chest, some kind of resistance. The words are like a subtle push, as if she’s gently urging him to step away from all of this, from the lines they've drawn between them, and move forward.

“Maybe you should go for it,” she adds, her voice quieter now, like she’s not just talking to him, but talking to herself too. “Take the risk. Put yourself out there, with someone who’s real. You deserve that.”

Chris’s throat tightens, a soft sigh escaping him. It feels like everything’s shifting in him, like this is the nudge he’s needed but never really wanted. She’s telling him to do something he’s afraid to do, but the way she says it, with that gentle confidence, makes him want to believe it.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” he mutters, more to himself than to her.

“You will be, Sun,” she says, and there’s a softness in her voice, like she knows him better than he realizes. “You just have to trust yourself.”

There’s another quiet pause, and this time, Chris can hear the soft rustle of her breathing. It feels like she’s been both a friend and something more, something that’s so hard to untangle, but it’s comforting, even in its complication.

“Thanks,” Chris says quietly, his hand reaching up to run through his hair, trying to shake off the lingering fog in his mind. “For everything.”

“No problem, Sun,” Daisy says, her tone light but still sincere. “You’re gonna be fine. Just… take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will,” Chris replies, his voice steady now, though he’s not sure how much he believes it.

The silence stretches on, only mildly comfortable this time, like it always was when they first started talking.

“Goodnight, Sun,” she says after a while, soft and warm and sleepy, like she’s already halfway gone.

Chris hesitates. His fingers curl into the sheets, grounding himself in the weight of her words, in the quiet press of something reluctant and unwilling.

“Night, Daisy,” he murmurs, and it feels like a closing, like the beginning of an end he’s not ready to touch just yet.

The line clicks.

Chris stares at the ceiling, the echo of her voice still resting against his skin.

He doesn’t move for a long time.

thank u rose for the divdiers !! @bernardsbendystraws

a/n: im not sure abt this smut but this chapter is vvvv important for lore!!!! also pretty please send asks abt these two i'd love to yap about them <33

taglist: @applecidersturniolo @throatgoat4u @sturnslutz @desreads @courta13 @kier-with-a-k @bluestriips @sturns-mermaid @sweetshuga @snoopychris @st7rnioioss @herewegoagain-b @cowboylikenat @joanakaulitz comment to be added !

till next time <33

[salemlunaa]

Hello sai! hope you're well.

I wish its possible to talk through dm because its kind of vulnerable but itll do!🤗

So, this past two years i have underwent a shift in my mindset. Granted, the void is still one of my main goals but it doesn't dominate my mind like it used to. the @luckykiwiii101 series that was posted before they left the community is why i am more focused on actually using loa instead of leaving my chances up to entering the void via lucid dream.

however... i cant help but feel like im never doing enough, and what comforted me with the void was that i was using methods, TONS of methods so i find it very hard to let go and accept.

Like, i want to enter it everytime i fall asleep but to have that trust that it is a fact is hard.

Its as though all the Edward art lectures and the countless posts im reading are telling me exactly what to do but it still doesn't feel enough yknow?

i get scared when I just live my 3d and forget my desires because what if it just doesn't change? how do i know im doing it right if im not actively doing something!

Everytime i feel fulfilled in my imagination, my 3d knocks me back down to doubt because it is right there. in front of me at all times. im not exaggerating when i say that i am living the same day everyday. wake up before sunrise, go to uni, do a lab go home and bed rot or study. repeat.

even imagining has started to feel like a chore because im not feeling anything, im numb to my desires but not in a fulfilling way.

and i think its because im over actually having desires, i want to have. i dont want to yearn, i want to HAVE it thats why i dont feel when imagining.

what should i do? what would you do in my position?

i, and a lot of people here, know what it’s like to have the 3d smacking you right in the face, repeatedly.

I will say it’s okay to doubt, don’t push yourself further into a spiral with the belief that you must 100% have faith, all you need is to remind yourself that it’s already done. You’re not living this life anymore, you’re a master of the void state (if that’s something you still want) it’s already happened

manifestation should not feel like a chore, you are so much more powerful than you know and and you can have anything by just speaking something or even thinking something into existence. No other methods needed if you keep the reminder in the back of your mind that your desires are already here.

Let’s say your teacher has your name on a piece of paper to do a presentation, no matter what you do whether you try and hide away to the back corner of the class, giggle while hiding behind your friends, go extra quiet so the teacher doesn’t notice you, your name is still on that piece of paper, it’s already done. That’s it, that’s all.

If you need help with reminders, i would recommend rampages on youtube, there are a lot of very useful ones for almost every situation. You can visualise your day and revise the life you live, this especially in the state akin to sleep is so powerful.

Remember you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to lift a finger or put any effort in, even mentally. The life you want is yours.

[matchalovertrait]

Will the truth prevail? 🤔

Start from the beginning (Gen 2)

Previous | Next

NOTE: The build is by the awesome @authorspirit! One of my favorite builders ever. Seriously, I feel like I try to snatch all the builds from her 😆 Unfortunately, my screenshots didn't do the place justice. You can check it out here.

NOTE: Selene is pronounced like Seh-leh-neh. No, the "mrow" was not a typo hehe

NOTE: Imagine this whole conversation was in Spanish! Speaking of which, "Andele güey" is basically Antonio saying, "Way to go, man," in a sarcastic way or "see what you did?" I'm not really sure how to translate that directly. And before anyone comes for me, no I don't mean "andale," I do mean "andele"! That's what my family says lol

[Antonio's Apartment; Del Sol Valley, California]

[It was midnight when Antonio heard a knock on the front door... but he wasn’t expecting anybody? Before doing anything, he looked through the peephole in case it was anyone dangerous.]

[It was Yoltic! When Antonio opened the door, the guy with the red hair strutted inside and promptly handed Antonio a packed meal in a brown bag.]

YOLTIC: Uber Eats delivery!

[A puzzled Antonio placed the bag on the surface behind him.]

ANTONIO: ..Thank you for the lunch?

YOLTIC: Dulce made you vegan enchiladas. You never showed up to the party, so she asked me to bring you some. Her family and friends were asking for you.

ANTONIO: Really? I hardly talked to them.

YOLTIC: Yeah. Do you know how difficult it was to defend your absence in front of your girlfriend and in-laws? You’re welcome for that.

ANTONIO: Not my girlfriend. Not my in-laws.

SELENE: Mrow.

ANTONIO: Andele güey, you woke up the cat.

YOLTIC: Oops! Sorry, Selene.

YOLTIC: ..Listen, I wanted to talk to you.

ANTONIO: Right now?

YOLTIC: You’ve been acting weirder than usual lately.

ANTONIO: You’re not completely normal either.

YOLTIC: Don’t try to change the subject!

ANTONIO: I’m fine. You can go home now.

YOLTIC: Then why have you been hiding? You leave at the most random times.

[START FLASHBACK]

NOEMÍ: Are you sure you're not also an actor? Something about your face tells me you’re famous.

ERICK: We are near Hollywood after all!

DULCE: I see Angel and the rest of the family!

ANTONIO: Sorry to crash the party but we need to head inside now.

YOLTIC: Hey, why the rush?? 5 more minutes!

[END FLASHBACK]

ANTONIO: I have a busy schedule.

YOLTIC: Then why’d you go on Operation Fox? That’s not like you either.

ANTONIO: I couldn’t let Isabela win.

YOLTIC: I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. And as your best friend, I think I deserve to know the truth.

ANTONIO: Truth about what?

YOLTIC: You know what I’m talking about. Weren’t you the one that said “truth prevails” in court?

ANTONIO: You know I have to say shit like that. This is a waste of time. I’m going to sleep.

YOLTIC: You haven’t been sleeping! I know you work long hours, but I can see something is bothering you. You have the day off tomorrow, anyway. Just let me help you.

ANTONIO: Nothing is bothering me!

YOLTIC: Fine! You leave me no choice!

[Yoltic handed Antonio a folded-up sheet of paper. Antonio stared at him. What the hell is this? He turned around to unfold it.]

ANTONIO: ...How did you-

YOLTIC: Now do you want to talk?

[breezyblossoms]

PART 1

PART 2

The days after your conversation with Xaden were quiet. The halls of Basgaith seemed emptier without his presence, even though you tried to fill the silence with Bodhi, Garrick, and the usual activities. It was as if the weight of your words had settled in the air, hanging between you and the world around you. You had been careful to keep your distance from Xaden, though you couldn’t stop yourself from stealing glances every now and then, especially during the times when Violet was by his side.

She was always with him now. Whether it was during meals, in training sessions, or while they were preparing for the next mission, you saw the way Xaden’s attention shifted entirely toward her. There were moments when his gaze lingered, so obvious that it nearly broke your heart, and you would look away, pretending that you didn’t care. But you did.

You loved him, and it was an ache that wouldn’t leave.

⸻

A week had passed since that day on the parapet. You hadn’t seen Xaden since, nor had you spoken to him. You had locked yourself in your room, convinced that distancing yourself from him was the only way to survive this ache in your chest.

It was late one evening, long after the rest of the riders had gone to sleep, when a soft knock echoed against your door. You hesitated, the familiar ache in your heart making it difficult to even consider opening the door. You knew it was him.

With a deep breath, you stood and walked over to open it.

Xaden stood in the doorway, his figure framed by the dim light of the hallway. His eyes were filled with a mix of guilt and something you couldn’t quite name. He stood there, as if unsure whether to speak or to leave.

“Can I come in?” he asked quietly, his voice uncertain.

You looked at him for a long moment, your heart pounding in your chest. He had hurt you, yes. But there was still a part of you that wanted him to come in, to hold you and make the pain go away. But you couldn’t let him do that. Not when things were this broken.

“I don’t think we should talk right now, Xaden,” you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady, trying to guard your heart. “We’ve already said what needed to be said.”

“I know,” he said quickly, almost too quickly. “But I can’t leave it like this. Please, Y/N… Let me explain. Let me try to fix this.”

You stared at him, the tears threatening to spill. “You’ve already chosen her, Xaden. There’s nothing left to fix. You’ve made your choice, and I respect that.”

He flinched, as if your words physically hurt him. “It’s not like that,” he whispered, taking a tentative step forward. “It’s not about choosing her over you. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. You mean everything to me.”

“Then why are you with her?” The words left your mouth before you could stop them. The anger, the hurt, it all came rushing out. “Why are you pushing me away and staying by her side? Why didn’t you choose me when I needed you the most?”

Xaden’s expression softened, and he reached out for you, but you stepped back. “Please,” you whispered. “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he breathed, his voice cracking. “I was selfish. I thought I was doing what was right — what I had to do. I thought you’d understand, but I see now that I was wrong. I took you for granted. I always have.”

You shook your head, a laugh escaping you, but it was bitter. “You didn’t just take me for granted, Xaden. You left me. You chose to let me go without a second thought. And now you come to me, asking for forgiveness? You don’t get to do that. Not after everything.”

“I know,” he said, voice hoarse. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t deserve anything from you. But I need you to know that I’ve made a mistake. And I’m willing to do anything to fix it. Please.”

The raw desperation in his voice made your heart ache. But you couldn’t let him in again, not when the walls you had so carefully built around yourself felt so fragile.

“Xaden… you made me believe in something that wasn’t real. You made me feel like I was the one. And now you expect me to believe that after everything, you can just fix this? After everything you’ve done… you really think I can just go back to how things were?”

He stared at you, clearly broken by your words, but he didn’t move. ���I don’t know how to fix it, Y/N. But I can’t live with the thought that I’ve lost you. I can’t. I’ll regret it every day for the rest of my life if I don’t try to make this right. If you give me a chance, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll show you that I’m not the man who left you behind. I’ll be the person you thought I was. I’ll be the person you need.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, the weight of his words settling on your shoulders. You wanted to believe him. You really did. But the pain of his absence had been too much, too deep. You weren’t sure you could ever trust him the same way again.

“I don’t know if I can,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “I don’t know if I can trust you again, Xaden. It hurts too much.”

Xaden’s eyes filled with unshed tears, but he didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, like you were the only thing in the world that mattered. And in that moment, something inside you shifted. You knew he wasn’t the same person you had known before. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t hope.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice trembling. “I can’t promise anything. But maybe… maybe we can try again. But I need time. I need you to give me space. I need time to heal.”

He nodded, a small, almost imperceptible sigh escaping his lips. “I’ll give you all the time you need, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere. I just… I need you to know that I’m here. For you. Whenever you’re ready.”

As he stepped back, the door between you slowly closing, you felt a wave of uncertainty and fear rush through you. But there was a small part of you that still held on to the love you had once shared with him. Maybe it wasn’t gone forever. Maybe it just needed time to heal.

And maybe, just maybe, with time, you’d find your way back to each other.

But for now, the distance was all that could save you.

[cheeseborgorbord2]

Beauty Created in the Strangest Way

(amab) Sevika x (afab) Harpy reader headcanons

Men and minors DNI

Warnings: fluff, dead dove content, dead animals, depression, smut, breeding, breastfeeding

Jinx and Isha cammeos

SFW

⇒You and Sevika cuddle and sleep every night in your makeshift nest. She's completely forgotten her own bed exists.

⇒Isha has been teaching Sevika American Sign Language and cues you use to communicate with the lack of hands, while Jinx has been teaching you to speak. You couldn't get it right the first few times, but slowly, you mimicked her. And to Sevika's dismay, you occasionally go on cursing tangents.

⇒You hide any feathers you take off into her hair. Sometimes, you come to her with any old flight feathers and bring them to her as a gift. She now has a box dedicated to all the feathers you give her or that she finds herself.

⇒Sevika noticed something strange about you. Recently, you had become more motherly and protective towards Isha when she and Jinx visited and stayed over. You nearly suffocated Isha trying to incubate her and always kept her in your makeshift nest. You would follow her around to make sure she was safe, even to the bathroom- outside, of course. Even harpies understand privacy.

⇒When Isha wasn't there, you'd baby Sevika. You would chew her food and try to regurgitate it back to her. You'd bring her any rats or mice you caught in the apartment and tried getting her to eat them. Sometimes you'd leave them on her pillow as she slept, scaring the fuck out of her when she woke up.

⇒The feathers around your chest and inner thighs were falling off. Some you pulled yourself. Your intimate areas were becoming more visible. Sevika had to slap some clothes on you so you wouldn't scar Jinx and Isha by accidentally flashing them.

⇒She's begun doing more research on harpies. She's read on behaviors, diet, anatomy, and mating habits and rituals.

⇒She learned that the change in behavior was due to the upcoming mating season. You were getting ready to raise a baby, explaining your treatment towards Isha, a child.

⇒You've stood in your nest for days, not getting up for food or water. Sevika had to get it for you. To lessen the load on you, she would take turns on keeping the nest warm. She wanted to get an understanding of what she might get into.

⇒Then, one miraculous day, you laid an egg. The egg was as large as an emu's, with brown freckles scattered around the white shell. You were so proud of your creation that you brought it to Sevika the moment she returned from work. She could see the joy in your eyes as your feathered tail wagged. She placed a gentle kiss on the egg before handing it back to you.

⇒She watched as you kept the egg warm under your feathers for 2 months.

⇒She also watched as the disappointment and sadness glossed over your eyes when month 3 hit and your first egg never hatched.

⇒You became depressed after your first egg didn't hatch. You wouldn't eat or leave the nest, not wanting to leave your precious egg unattended. Sevika had to fight you to get the egg out, which resulted in several scratches and bites on her attached arm and repairs needed on her mechanical one.

⇒You hadn't eaten in a few days. You refuse to eat. Not even your favorite food, thawed rats, tempts you. Sevika doesn't know what to do.

⇒She brings Jinx and Isha over; she needed some help.

"She won't eat, Jinx! I'm terrified! What if I lose her?" Sevika rambles.

Isha is currently combing through your hair and feathers in comfort.

"When did she stop eating?" Jinx asked.

"After I took her egg away."

"Why would you take her egg away? It's like kidnapping a baby. Even I wouldn't do that," Jinx crossed her arms. "You practically took her baby away."

"Damn it, I know. But her egg didn't hatch. She wouldn't leave her egg. I had to take it."

"What if you get her a fake egg?" Jinx proposes.

"Where in the world am I going to get an egg the size of Isha's head?"

"I dunno," Jinx shrugged. "Wait, did you say the size of Isha's head? Damn...Which side did she push it from?"

"Jinx!" Sevika scolded.

"What? Geez, I can't ask?" Jinx puts her hands up in defense.

Sevika huffed as she looked over at you. She saw how motherly you were with Isha. She didn't know what to do. She felt helpless, and that was her most hated feeling.

⇒One night, as she lays in the nest next to you, she thinks back on the research she did. She remembers a page she read on mating rituals and habits. Female harpies have been known to force humans into mating and becoming sperm donors, resulting in female offspring. Then, an idea popped into her mind; she could willingly mate with you.

⇒The next morning, she caresses your face, her calloused hands running over your skin. You let out a small tired trill as you're awaken with rare gentleness.

"Morning, Birdie. You okay?" She asked, her thumb running along your cheek. You shake your head, resting it against her chest.

"I can make it better."

NSFW

⇒Sevika kisses you with passion and sweetness. She puts all her love in the way she kissed you, the way her hands roamed your feathered body.

⇒Her hands slip off the tube top and boxers she lended you, revealing your fully naked parts to her. She worshipped your nipples with her mouth as her thick fingers ran along your slip.

"You want this, my good girl?" She whispered into your ear. You nod, letting soft moans slip out.

⇒Her fingers start at a low pace inside you at first but speed up when you beg her to.

"P-please, fuck, fuck," you choke out.

⇒When she makes you come, you waste no time in struggling to take her pants off, but damn these wings.

⇒ She's huffing and panting as she thrusts her hips up as her cock drives deeper into your tight pussy. The sounds of skin slapping echo throughout the room. Your gummy walls gripped her like a vice, sucking her in further, the tip of her cock hitting your cervix. Your wings wrap around her as she brings you closer to another orgasm.

"Co...come..ing!" You squeak as your walls spasm around her.

"Fuck!" Sevika groans, her hips thrusting up a final time, her hands holding your hips down as she shoots thick ropes of cum into your womb.

⇒She peppers kisses all over your face after coming down from her orgasm. She gently lays you down against the pillows, allowing you to relax before moving her hips again, fucking her cum more into your womb. Your tits bounce with every impact of her hips against your thighs.

⇒She lifts your hips up, angling them, her shaft rubbing against that special spongy spot that makes you see stars. The friction quickly brings you to your third climax. She slows her movements.

⇒ The next thing you know, she's folding you in half, knees to your chest, into a mating press, roughly pounding herself at the delicious angle. Her heavy balls, churning copious amounts of cum, slap against your slightly feathered ass.

⇒She's whispering sweet nothings into your ears as she gets close.

"Gods, I love you so much. Good girl. I can't wait to have a baby with you."

⇒Her hips deliver the final blow as she busts more seed into your womb, holding you close. Her cum drips out with her cock inside, your womb and pussy filled to the brim.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

SFW (again)

⇒Sevika is happy when you begin eating again.

⇒She's awoken in the middle of the night by you shaking her to show her the five new eggs you finished laying. She smiled, a tear slipping out her eye.

⇒It's been two more months. Any day now, the eggs should hatch. Sevika has called in sick with food poisoning and is staying at home. She wants to be there when her babies are born.

⇒You two are asleep when the sounds of cracking break the silence of the night. You two immediately perk up at the noise. You lift up your feathers to the sight of cracked shells. As you move for Sevika to get a better view, your eyes light up.

⇒Two of the eggs hatched successfully. Two baby harpies are born, naked wings and small yet sharp talons. Their skin is light brown, and they have small tufts of hair and feathers covering spots on their heads.

⇒You hold one baby girl to your breast, helping her latch on, your daughter hungrily feeding. Meanwhile, Sevika holds your other daughter in her arms, looking in adoration at her two daughters.

"They're beautiful."

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Headers made with Pinterest images (no art featured in the future is mine, unless stated otherwise). I did make the headers.

Please do not copy my work without credit. Likes and reposts are appreciated.

[mashkatzi]

Luigi’s daughter having a nightmare and Lu comforts her 🥹

You finish up your night time routine and slide into bed. You grab your book off the nightstand and begin reading. The faint sound of Luigi helping your daughter get ready for bed can be heard from across the hall.

Luigi loves spending as much time as he can with his daughter. He helps her change into her pjs, placing a hot water bottle in her bed to get it nice and warm for her. He instructs her to brush her teeth and then smooths her curly hair into a single braid.

“All ready, wanna jump into bed?” She nods in response. He places a hand on her shoulder, guiding her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. She jumps into bed and demands her dad to read her a story to help her sleep. “Ok, baby. What should we read tonight?” Luigi asks. She walks over to her bookshelf and carefully picks a story, handing it to Luigi while he helps her back into bed.

From the bedroom you can hear Luigi reading to her, he puts on a different animated voice for each character and your daughter gasps, laughs and sighs in time with the story. Once the book is finished, your daughter is already snoring, tired from the day’s activities. Luigi tucks her into bed, making sure to leave a small light on in her bedroom in case she needs it. He leaves the door slightly ajar before making his way back to your shared bedroom.

“She’s knocked out, probably exhausted from all that running around she was doing earlier” he tells you. You look up from your book to see Luigi beginning to undress. He takes off his shirt and replaces his jeans with a pair of plaid pjs. “That’s good. Hopefully she sleeps through the night. I worry about how often she has nightmares.” You say. “No need to worry too much. I think it’s just an overactive imagination. I was the same at that age. She’ll grow out of it don’t stress it, babe” Luigi is always good at putting your mind at ease.

He jumps into bed, equally as exhausted and gets comfortable. You put your book back and switch off the lights, lying back and placing your head on your pillow. Luigi pulls you closer to him, kissing you deeply and wrapping his arms around you. He lets out a soft sigh before kissing you goodnight. “Love you” you tell him. He mumbles a quick “love you more” before he shuts his eyes and drifts off to sleep. You’re not far behind, as you’re lulled to sleep by the warmth and comfort of Luigi’s body wrapped tightly around yours.

You’re awoken by the creaking of your bedroom door. A soft sniffle and a small voice calling out for you. “Mommy, daddy?” Luigi stirs in bed next to you, answering the small voice. “Baby? What’s wrong?” She begins to sob and walks further into your room, closer to the bed. She walks over to Luigi’s side of the bed and he helps her up into his arms. You, a little more awake now, ask if everything’s ok. “I had a scary dream.” She begins to explain. “Again?” Luigi asks, wiping her tears with a gentle hand. Luigi turns himself and your daughter around so she’s sat in between the two of you in your bed. You prop yourself up with one hand and use the other to place it comfortingly on her head, stroking her hair and face.

“It was so scary. There was a giant dragon hiding under my bed and he wasn’t letting me leave. He said he was going to blast me with his fire!” She explains, tears welling in her big puppy dog eyes. She, much like her father, gestures with her hands as she speaks. She extends both arms, almost knocking into you, as she explains how big the dragon was. She carries on explaining how she was feeling, strangely articulate for a child so young. Luigi listens intently, stroking her face and wiping her tears.

“Everything’s ok now, my love” you tell her. “Yeah remember what we talked about? Dreams aren’t real. They’re like your stories that we read, It’s all made up, sweetie.” Luigi explains to her.

She appears more calm now, no longer crying but letting out small sniffles every now and again. “But daddy I was so scared” she says. “I know. But me and mommy will never let anything bad happen to you, would we?” He smiles at his daughter as he talks, taking her small hand into his big one, rubbing a comforting finger across her hand. “Yeah me and daddy are always here for you” you continue to reassure her, copying the small display of affection and taking her other hand. She’s smiling now, calmed by the reassurance that her parents will never let any harm come to her.

Before you can take her back to her own bedroom she asks, “can I sleep here?” She pats the mattress under her and looks up at Luigi, longingly. He could never say no to such a request. Of course baby” he says, chuckling because he knows the hold she has over him. She is a daddy’s girl after all. She lays down in the gap between her parents and smiles. Luigi kisses her on the cheek and tells her she’s safe now. You also kiss her placing a comforting hand on her arm. You adjust the blanket so that it’s covering her and place another small kiss to her cheek. She giggles slightly before kissing both you and Luigi back. “I love you” she tells you. “I love you back” you and Luigi say, in unison. She slowly drifts back into a slumber and you and Luigi watch her as her eyes fall shut.

You see Luigi’s compassion in her. Her caring nature and loving gestures are all from her father. She’s naturally kind and displays a level of understanding that most children her age lack. You know that she, like Luigi, will grow up to be special.

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Station, 3/1/2025 Issue ft. No.1 Sentai Gozyuger Cast Members (translation below)

Publication: February 26, 2025

Fuyuno Mio x Suzuki Hideharu x Kanda Masakazu Matsumoto Jin x Imamori Maya

Fuyuno: While Hoeru has a foul mouth and gives off the impression of being unapproachable, he's occasionally kind, and has a cute side that makes him a character who's prone to being teased.

Suzuki: Mio's normally like Hoeru, don't you think?

Kanda: He's quiet and cool. His way of speaking is abit blunt, which seems to also be similar.

Suzuki: He also has a pure heart, so his kindness can come out at any given moment.

Kanda: He and Hide are the same age, and they're always flirting with each other. Occasionally, the distance between him and us feels off (laughs). However, that changes drastically when it comes to his performance.

Fuyuno: I'm trying to be positively influenced by the atmosphere of the scene, and to react accordingly to everyone's performance.

Suzuki: Rikuo's a former super idol with an overconfident side. He's also putting in the work to justify that, and has a good side to him, that being his kindness. I try to be conscious of my idol like behavior, facial expressions, and speaking patterns.

Kanda: From his vibes to the way he speaks, everything about him is soft and gentle.

Matsumoto: It made me think that such good looking nice guys do exist. He's committed to listening to what others have to say. He's overflowing with kindness.

Kanda: It's amazing that we've gotten this far without him getting cocky over those visuals of his!

Suzuki: Thank you!

Kanda: Ryugi's an out of touch freak, and the only one who's a "Tega Sword follower." He's the oldest of the five, and although he's strong willed, he also has a mischievous side. I hope that I can find just the right balance in expressing that gap without overdoing his character.

Matsumoto: Kanda-san's like a leader. He invites us all to go out for meals together. I feel like we're more of a team now, and I'm really grateful that he creates such opportunities like that for us.

Imamori: He usually pulls us along and is reliable, but……he's abit of an airhead, isn't he?

Kanda: How did you know? I've always kept that hidden (laughs).

Imamori: It felt like you were doing your best to hide it.

Matsumoto: Kinjiro's a 17 year old high schooler. At his core, he's a serious person, but his goal is to become a "party person." It's interesting to see how his values don't match up with those around him. Since there's no character among the five of us who restlessly moves around, I thought I'd take charge of that position.

Imamori: He's surprisingly cool for someone with a cute face.

Fuyuno: I was gonna say the same thing (laughs). The composure he has makes it hard to believe that he's 19 years old, and he's also very good at giving compliments.

Matsumoto: I think I'm just conscious of trying to put my thoughts into words.

Imamori: Sumino-chan is cool, but she's a "high class detective" who'll use her cunningness as a weapon when she needs to. To create a gap between the two, I took it upon myself to play the role more characteristically. I'll watch anime and idols in order to study their cunningness.

Fuyuno: Maya-chan appears more mature on screen. She's always full of energy and makes the atmosphere around her pleasant.

Suzuki: The way she switches from her normal self is amazing.

Imamori: I'm just going along with the fun vibes everyone else helps create.

Fuyuno: Although the five members have widely different personalities, you'll be able to see each and every one of their human dramas. Enjoy this festive program, which also features tons of previous Sentai Reds! _

Sleeping Conditions on the Location Bus

Suzuki: Everyone has a particular way of sleeping, don't they? Masa-kun will lean forward with his neck bent at a 90 degree angle, while Mio doesn't sleep.

Fuyuno: It's true that I don't sleep.

Suzuki: Maya-chan tends to lean against the window, while Jin's head pokes out into the aisle (laughs).

Matsumoto: Something like that happens.

Imamori: Hide-kun's mouth hangs open.

Suzuki: Don't say that. I end up showing off a stupid face, huh?

Fuyuno: Everyone's probably looking at you.

Imamori: Kanda-san brings his own pillow, right?

Kanda: I get motion sickness easily, so if I look around for even a moment, I start feeling nauseous. That's why I use a pillow to keep my neck in place.

Suzuki: I'm the same way, so I get that!

[yaggmurwrites]

the moth & the flame. | armin a.

pairing: armin arlert x reader, mentions of eren jaeger as ex lover

word count: 4k

warnings: +18. mature content. mdni.

the moth & the flame les deux love orchestra -highly recommend listening to this while reading.-

summary: reader is having a difficult night, and in such moments, they always find solace in the comforting presence of Armin, who has always been there to help. yet, there is a plan that has long been residing in Armin's mind, a plan that now beckons.

author's note: it’s been two years since I last wrote something meaningful. I’ve come back with a sudden burst of inspiration. as you read this, just keep in mind that it’s been a while since I’ve written, and this is the first time I’m being this open. enjoy.

7 missed calls from y/n.

03:28

Incoming call from y/n.

03:29

He fixed his gaze on the incoming call, silent, unmoving, as he took another deep drag from his cigarette.

His feet rested comfortably on the coffee table before him; from the outside, no one would have noticed the turmoil stirring within him. The only trace of his quiet excitement was the growing pile of cigarette butts in the ashtray beside him. But he was alone now—there was no need to conceal it.

Tearing his attention away from the phone, he let his eyes drift into the darkness of the night. A deep sense of peace settled over him. He smiled to himself, nodding slightly.

Everything was unfolding exactly as he had imagined. Everything.

He noticed you were calling again. "Sleep," he murmured, as if you were right there beside him, as if you could hear every word.

After that call, the phone fell silent for the night. The mere coincidence stole a quiet chuckle from the blond man. "My good girl," he whispered into the night.

For a fleeting moment, he almost felt bad for you.

Almost.

But he couldn’t afford to let such emotions ruin his plan. There was no need for you to worry.

He knew you were hurting. But you had to.

Until the pain found a new source.

By the time you called him one last time, the screen had become nothing more than a blur. Your eyes were drowning in tears. You were exhausted.

"Please don’t go, Eren! Please…"

Your voice trembled, your breath uneven. You took a few shaky steps toward him, reaching out—but your fingers grasped at nothing before they could even brush against his wrist.

Eren averted his eyes.

Be firm. Be sure, he reminded himself.

As he turned toward the door, you stepped in front of him.

"Don’t do this," you whispered, then your voice rose.

"It doesn’t have to be this way! We can fix it, please!"

This is for her own good, ’Ren. You said it yourself. Your way of life only fuels her anxieties. She's worse than ever... she needs to be away from you.

But Eren only shook his head. His gaze was dark, hard—yet at the same time… empty.

He cleared his throat, as if speaking was a struggle.

"It’s over."

Be sure. Be firm. Be emotionless.

Your head snapped up. "What?" He repeated it without meeting your eyes. "We… This is over."

No.

No, this… this couldn’t be happening.

"No, no, no," you began to whisper. Why? I don’t understand. Why? Why aren’t we trying to find a way? We’ve overcome everything before—we always did, we always found a way!

This is for her own good. You’re hurting her, he reminded himself.

Your legs finally gave out. Trembling, you collapsed to the floor, resting your arms on your knees, hiding your face. Your uneven breaths melted into quiet, broken sobs.

You heard Eren’s footsteps. He hesitated for a few seconds.

You waited, hoping—waiting for him to say something.

But nothing came.

If you love her, you have to let her go. You can’t leave the door open. You have to make her hate you.

And for the last time, he said, "It’s over." Then he stepped past you and opened the door.

The cold air slipped inside.

And the door closed.

The moment he heard your sobs echoing through the house, that cold, detached man vanished.

In his place stood an Eren with glassy eyes—one who did not turn back, but still, for a fleeting second, wavered.

He had done this… for you.

Because his life was riddled with dangers, and your heart was far too fragile. Your anxieties were so heavy, he feared that one day they would crush you entirely—that you would wake up unable to breathe beneath their weight. You couldn’t enjoy life, because your mind was always trapped in the worst possible scenarios.

You had never told him these things yourself—you hadn’t dared.

But Armin had.

Armin knew you well. Maybe even better than Eren did. And he knew Eren, too.

So he must have been right, mustn’t he?

Eren had noticed the way your anxieties had worsened. Some nights, they swallowed you whole, so completely that you would end up at Armin’s embrace.

In the apartment you two shared with your lover, there were nights when Eren had to call Armin in the middle of the night, his voice tight with urgency.

Because only Armin could quiet your cries. Only Armin could hush the whispers that crept into your mind. And so, those certain nights haunted Eren’s thoughts—nights when you buried yourself in Armin’s shoulder, trembling from your own tears. Nights when you curled up in his lap as he murmured soothing words into your ear, his fingers threading gently through your hair.

On those nights, jealousy lodged itself deep within Eren’s chest. He was certain—certain—that no one loved you more than he did.

And yet, in your most desperate moments, he was the one you could not reach. His touch couldn’t ease you. His words couldn’t find you. But Armin’s whispers always did.

And sometimes—just sometimes—Eren could have sworn he saw the faintest trace of amusement flicker across Armin’s face.

But that was only jealousy playing tricks on him.

It had to be.

But one thing was certain. When morning came after those nights, no one ever spoke a word. With an unspoken agreement, the past was quietly buried beneath the new day, and when the breaking points came again, Armin would return—like a saving angel.

Neither you nor Eren noticed it, but the need you had for Eren was slowly fading beneath the shadow of the trust you placed in Armin.

Your body could no longer fight off sleep. You knew Armin would have an answer for you in the morning. And so, you let yourself drift away.

As he pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray, he hesitated for a brief moment before rising to his feet with slow, deliberate steps.

He glanced at his watch. The message or call you were expecting in the morning wouldn’t come.

Not yet.

For the plan to be perfect, you needed to be alone a little longer. You needed to hurt a little more. Because the more you suffered, the more you would reach for Armin—even in the darkest corners of your mind.

His soothing voice, his gentle touch, his soft whispers—without them, you would become incapable of comforting yourself.

All those nights spent in his presence had shaped you without you even realizing it. They had stolen away your ability to calm yourself, to stand on your own.

Now, without his voice echoing in your ears, without his hands brushing against your skin— You would never find peace.

And if your need for this feeling grew, in time, you would forget your own pain and become trapped in nothing but your longing for him. His absence had to leave a greater echo in you than his presence ever did.

Until now, whenever you needed him, Armin had always been there. In the middle of an important meeting, at a candlelit dinner with a beautiful woman, even at the end of a wretched day—it never mattered. When you called, he came.

Because all of it had been leading to this moment. But today, he wouldn’t be there. The phone would remain silent. The hours would pass, and you would grow restless. You had to wonder where he was.

You had to.

But that was the essence of it all, wasn’t it? Shifting the direction of your pain. Tearing its roots from your own heart and planting them in him. You had to worry about Armin. Those all-consuming fears that ruled your mind—they should no longer be for yourself but for him. And if he could make that happen— God, even the thought of it sent fireworks exploding through Armin’s chest. Could you forget yourself and think only of him?

This entire plan was meant to find out. He had to make you cling to him so tightly that you would forget even your own broken pieces—so that your only concern would be him.

He had to become your everything. Armin could have done it with his own hands—but no, that wouldn’t have been any fun.

He had already seen the potential in you. With the right environment and conditions, he knew you would devote yourself to him. And most importantly… you had to do it of your own free will.

As he stepped into the bathroom, the cold white light struck his face. He stopped in front of the mirror, studying his reflection. He truly had a beautiful face—saying so wasn’t just a compliment; it was a fact. Delicate, almost feminine features blended seamlessly with the strength of his masculine frame, a perfect harmony of contrasts.

Slowly, he curled his fingers into a fist, then, without hesitation, drove it hard into the wall beside the mirror. A sharp sting spread from his knuckles.

When he opened his hand, he watched the blood smear across his skin.

It hurt.

But there was no hesitation. His gaze traveled over his hands, tracing the fine veins and the cracked joints.

Just the way he wanted.

He couldn’t have faced you this morning with that beautiful face.

Now, there had to be an explanation for the silence he had been protecting. When you couldn’t reach him, when your messages and calls went unanswered... And here’s the reason he would give you.

You opened your eyes in the morning with a restless heaviness. To suppress the growing anxiety in your chest, you buried your head into the pillow and took a deep breath.

You wished everything was just a bad dream. But you woke up, and the reality, like a cold blanket clinging to your skin, collapsed upon you.

Your hand, trembling from habit, reached for your phone. In fact, the only thing on your mind was whether you had received a call from Eren. After everything that happened during the night, you thought he might have regretted it and tried calling you this morning.

Maybe a message, maybe a missed call...

But when the screen lit up, your eyes reflexively searched for Armin’s name. You were almost sure you would see his missed calls. Because it always happened this way. While you were falling apart throughout the night, he would try to put you back together with the first light of morning.

But this time, as your fingers scanned through the notifications, your breath caught in your chest.

Armin hadn’t written anything.

No calls, no messages. You quickly scanned your last messages. The emptiness you saw settled in your stomach.

Unread. Unseen. Unanswered.

This wasn’t like him. He was the only one who never made you feel lost. So, what now? Your mind immediately began to imagine the worst-case scenarios. Something had happened. He must have been hurt. There was no other explanation. You gripped the phone tightly in your hand, at first forgetting why you had even picked it up.

You had grabbed it to call Eren, but now Armin’s name appeared on the screen.

Your fingers trembled as you pressed the call button. With every ring, the unease inside you grew a little more.

Armin noticed the call on his phone screen. His eyes saw the name in the corner of the display. Then, without answering, he smiled slightly at the emptiness and, with a deep breath, said, “Good morning, beautiful.”

These words blended into the silence of the room, but in that moment, he knew something was beginning. He was ready to come to you.

One last time, he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Since the last time he had checked, there was now a bruise under his eye and a bleeding nose. He quickly grabbed his things, got in his car, and set off toward your house.

He knocked on your door three times. He did it with such a rhythm that you knew it was him whenever it rang. You weren’t sure if he was aware of it. But you had already shouted his name silently as you reached the door. You were certain he had arrived.

When you saw his bleeding nose, you paused for a moment.

"Damn it, what happened to you?" you said, your voice trembling. You instinctively reached out to him, but before you touched him, you noticed the open wounds on his knuckles. You cursed quietly.

As you looked at his face, your eyes focused on him as if waiting for an explanation. You were sad, but it wasn’t sadness for yourself; it was the deep sorrow you felt for his condition.

And at that moment, Armin couldn’t believe that everything had gone so perfectly and according to plan.

He wanted to laugh, but not even a smile appeared on his lips.

Like moving pawns on a chessboard, like writing a book he authored...

But he hadn’t done that.

He had only set the necessary conditions. You had become his favorite experiment; every move, every step was part of his plan, but you were the one playing the cards.

In the end, he realized that all his efforts had worked down to their most delicate points. But now, he was eager to see what you would do next.

'I couldn't be with you last night. I'm sorry. On the way, from him—he deliberately avoided saying Eren’s name— I listened to what happened a little.' He took a step toward you. Your hands were still in his.

"W-what ?" You only managed to say...

You had forgotten.

When you saw him, even if for a brief moment, you had forgotten your own pain. You just wanted to get lost in his suffering.

In that moment, Armin wanted to press you against the wall and kiss you roughly.

But he had to wait. It wasn’t part of the script. Everything had its place.

You were still in shock. You took him to the bathroom, sat him on the toilet, and nervously searched for the first aid kit.

He sat silently, watching you. His face wore an innocent expression.

Finally, you found the kit. As you gathered the items to clean his wounds, your hands trembled.

You had never seen Armin like this. You were used to seeing Eren like this in such a state. With a shy look on his face, he’d let you clean his wounds. But Armin always protected himself from such dangers. His cool, calculated demeanor had always made you trust him. But now, these wounds, this pain, this collapse... Why hadn’t he protected himself? Why had he left himself so vulnerable? Everything you knew contradicted this moment.

Slowly, you pulled your hands away and found yourself staring at him. He was already looking into your eyes.

"You've cried so much," he said. In that moment, reality shifted for you.

The sobs and pleas at the door flashed back into your mind. As you remembered, you noticed Armin observing how your body lightly trembled. With the hand you had just wrapped in bandages, he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer.

You were now standing between his legs. He placed his hand on the back of your head and gently guided you to rest on his shoulder. With his free hand, he started drawing small circles on your back.

You were crying. Again. He slowly rose from where he sat, lifted you into his arms, and carried you to your room.

Silently, you continued to cry in his arms. In that moment, Armin was doing everything he could to not leave you alone. He wanted to share your pain, to ease it even if just a little.

You stayed like that for a while, without noticing how much time had passed. When he looked at you, there was a deep sadness in your eyes.

Suddenly, softly, with a low voice, you whispered, "I... I couldn't reach you."

Armin’s eyes opened. In that moment, he was almost grateful that you were too lost in yourself to notice his heartbeat had quickened.

With everything that had happened, the first words that reached him amidst it all were about not being able to reach you.

At that moment, he wanted to give you everything in the world. But he couldn’t say anything; his heart was too full.

From the moment Eren introduced you to Armin, he had felt something for you.

Armin, by nature, wasn’t one to believe in love. He had always treated the women in his life with respect. But he didn’t remember falling in love.

After a long time, he felt a feeling close to love— thanks to you, but it wasn’t pure, innocent love.

Perhaps it was the hunger a hunter feels for its prey—this was the kind of love that fit Armin’s understanding.

He didn’t want a relationship with defined boundaries like the ones that existed with others.

What he wanted was a ritual that had begun today and that he hoped would continue. The men who entered your life would never understand you the way he did. And one day, either on their own or with Armin’s help, they would leave your life. And when that happened, Armin would be there, at your door, by your side, in your bed, and if you allowed it, inside you—whenever you needed him, he would make you forget all about them.

“I’m sorry, baby. I…” he began, but the words hung in the air. You immediately stopped him. “No, no, don’t apologize. I just… I was worried, and I was so scared. But you’re here, it’s okay. Please don’t leave me,” you said, your voice trembling but determined.

He gently pulled your head from where you had hidden it, slowly meeting your gaze. “I’ll be here as long as you want me to be. Always,” he said.

In that moment, you wanted to look away, but Armin gently cupped your cheeks with his hands, guiding your eyes back to his. “Okay?” he asked, his voice soft but steady. You gave a small nod of yes.

Armin, trying to comfort you one more time, gently laid you down on the bed, and you rested your head on his arm. It felt as if he had wrapped you in his wings. You were safe.

“Tell me about yesterday,” he said, his tone softer now. At first, you didn’t want to speak. The pain that had gathered in your eyes frightened you to show it. But Armin’s calming presence began to bring your emotions to the surface. You stayed silent for a while, then slowly began to speak. You told him everything about Eren’s departure, the deep pain inside you. In that moment, your tears started to fall, each drop feeling like a piece of the pain itself. You shared with him how much Eren’s disappearance had hurt you, the emptiness inside, your anxiety, and your fear.

Armin listened quietly, his gaze fixed on you.

“Without you, I couldn’t silence myself,” you said. “Even though it was Eren who left, I missed you.”

fuck—.

And at that moment, without realizing what you were saying, the words flowed out of you.

He didn’t look away. He was struggling to hold himself back. He knew that under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t accept this.

You were in love with Eren. That was a fact. But you were also in love with Armin. That was another truth you had hidden even from yourself.

It was clear that you didn’t understand the impact of the words that had escaped your lips. You were confused, and your mind was overwhelmed with thoughts. But the longing within you was pushing at Armin’s boundaries, making him desire you even more.

He should have waited for you to make the first move. He shouldn't have scared you. Then...

He felt a short, open kiss on his lips. Your eyes were tired of crying, closed. It was like a foreign kiss trying to get everything it can from him in this short time. You had always wondered about kissing him.

Armin knew that if he didn't act quickly, you would get embarrassed and pull yourself away.

Before you could pull yourself away, he wrapped his left arm around your body. You were stuck between his arms. He slowly pulled you towards him. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

Your chest was touching his chest. Before you knew it, your lips met again.

He copied the kiss you gave him without scaring you. He slowly pulled his lip back for a moment. As if waiting for your approval.

You had thrown one leg over his with the feeling of the kiss. You were so close. Even though you had cried in his arms countless times, this was completely different.

Maybe you should have felt guilty, but there was no trace of that feeling. Maybe it was because Eren had broken your heart so much. Maybe it was because this was one of your biggest fantasies.

You didn't leave Armin's question unanswered and brought your lips together again. This time, more intensely, more emotionally. It was as if you had both been waiting for this for a long time.

His hand on your back slowly moved down to your hip. He helped guide you towards him. Your most sensitive spots had touched each other in a closed way.

This sudden contact stole a moan from you. Armin took the opportunity and brought his tongue into your mouth and continued exploring you. You started to caress his hair with the hand on his head.

He brought you to a sitting position with his strong hands. Now you were sitting on his lap. His two hands were on your ass so he could sit you up more properly. You continued kissing.

When he squeezed your ass with his hands, you breathed out for a moment and your kissing stopped.

You leaned your forehead against his broad shoulder.

You were embarrassed. This made Armin smile. He leaned his head towards you and started kissing your exposed neck. Tiny open mouth kisses. Slowly moving up to your ear.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

He already knew the answer. But he needed to hear it from you. You were driving him crazy. He had always dreamed of this moment but he hadn’t expected it to be this good.

You shook your head no. But that wasn’t enough of an answer. Armin wanted to push you to your limits. "I need to hear you, baby. Do you want me to continue?"

A thin ‘please’ escaped your mouth. Armin was practically blinded. But he shouldn’t have scared you.

He took a deep breath. 'said, “Come here,” and positioned you over him again with his hands on your ass.

You knew you were wet, but you realized it better when he made you sit fully on his length.

He released your lips so he could hear your moans properly. He was kissing your neck, while also helping you grind yourself against him with his hands.

This—this was too much.

You locked your hands around his arms. You tried to keep up with Armin’s rhythm as you found your balance.

You were a complete moaning mess.

You tried to hold back, but Armin encouraged you. Don’t hold back. Yeah? Please, he begged.

You liked how he begged—Armin knew that you would love it.

Even though he knew you so well, he was no longer stuck to the plan. Because the plan had ended there.

From here on out, it was all you and him. No one else, no plan, no game. No pain from the past, no anxiety about the future. There was only the present. You were together. You were dangerously close, and both of you just wanted more.

"Armin.. 'need more," you babbled.

Hm? Yeah baby?  You need me, don't you? You need more of me. —Don't worry I'll give you what you need. I'll give you everything.

there might be a next chapter—or not. it’s my first time writing something like this, so I kind of chickened out lmao.

don’t forget to share your thoughts!

yaggmurwrites, 2025.