#speaking directly to a character
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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dont got much to offer for The Holiday but have these sillies!
happy valentines day :D
#sxf#spy x family#damianya#damian desmond#anya forger#my art#i am sleepy rn im scheduling this ahead of time like several hours ahead JKSDFKLS#unrelated to sxf. the tags are my speaking place shush#was not expecting the toby fox newsletter to have so much for me to think about JKKLDFSS#good ole gaster sending us love letters (we don't KNOW it's gaster but like. typing pattern + him being the only character to be like)#(directly referring to the game as deltarune)#ALSO THE WEATHERMEN HAVE NAMES NOW ?!?!? AND ARE IN LOVE ???!?!#so happy for them fr#i didnt get the mettaton card but like just know. that is my essence. all those blingee-core sparkles. those picmix hearts. me#anyway YIPPEE WAHOO
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BRYNDEN RIVERS MY MAN
#THEY REALLY DID THAT SHIT#literally spent the past month starting to stan bloodraven and then all of a sudden there my man is#also HELLO DANY THE PRINCE THAT WAS PROMISED?? YES??#anyways goddamn what a finale#could havr been a little better but lots of good moments#i was screaming for alicent and rhaenyra to kiss my gaydar was breaking the needle#that ending set up montage was kinda fire too full bodied chills#and then daemon rallying the troops for rhaenyra like okay maybe he gets a lil character development#also the implications that helaena was directly speaking to him I think??#anyways i wanna get a good smack in for ulf dude needs to stfu#ughhhhh why do we have to wait so long for season 3#fishgills speaks#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers#house of the dragon finale#brynden rivers
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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thinking about the character again (cinderpelt) and it's likely unintentional and a result of either her shifting narrative role from young go getter to wise mentor or a shift in how the books display their own politics but i find something really tragic in-universe in how she develops from a character who will actively and willingly break the warrior code when it conflicts with her own morals (immediately lying to cover for graystripe and silverstream, acting in direct defiance of her leadership to nurse littlecloud and whitethroat back to health) but overtime through her role she gradually grows more god-fearing and pious and embodies somewhat of a "starclan is always right, even when they are cruel, and we need to accept that" position
#i dont want to get too into the deeper philosophy behind cinderpelt's arc in twilight bc there's a lot of messier factors there#namely what is potentially intended to be a story about faith and emotional strength in the context of terminal illness#but in warrior cats fate is tied to starclan and starclan is also the theocratic government and the law and the status quo#and i think cinderpelt's character is an interesting microchosm of the influence that proximity to it can have#im interrupting a rant thread on my priv twitter to bring this point here instead but that's not even getting into how like#cinderpelt grew up in the bluestar era where bluestar was rebelling against starclan in a way that directly affected her own life#traumatising her sister with a demeaning name. indirectly killing her cousin. leading to the little+white situation.#leaving her (a child/teen/young adult) in the awkward position of being the ambassador TO starclan#but then when bluestar dies she immediately BECOMES the face of starclan. likely who cinderpelt would often speak with#it's fucked up!!!! theres a lot of implications about her character's relationship to starclan that are really untouched#and it makes sense that they are bc it's all built on headcanon and subtext and entirely unintentional coincidence but STILLL
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NEED zedaph villain arc
#this wasn’t prompted by anything just on my mind. all the time#looking mr plays directly in the eye become evil it would be so funny#idc how idc when idc how much I just think he’d do great with a villainous role. he already is morally bankrupt#(in character ofc)#hermitcraft#zedaph#astro speaks
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Any genre of game can have a disabled protagonist if you aren't a coward / willing to put the work in, but I'm currently batting around the concept of specifically point-and-click puzzle adventure games with a highly disabled protagonist.
Often, the pace of such games tends sedate and contemplative. Your character is seldom in a hurry; they are mostly faced by trying to figure out how to accomplish a particular task, and if a deadline is imposed, it's an extra thing to juggle.
This could be an interesting presumption to incorporate from a watsonian lens, through the viewpoint of a protagonist who may have limited mobility, pain and/or fatigue that make hurrying punitively inaccessible. It'd let the player familiarize themselves with early puzzles if the first thing they have to figure out how to do is say, get their player character out of bed in an environment where they don't have their usual fallbacks.
(also if this is also a walking adventure, it'd let you dodge accusations of the insurmountable waist-high fence- your intrepid hero MIGHT be able to climb over those bricks if they didn't have two bad hips and a walker to worry about!)
#writing ruminations#speaking broadly I think there should be way more games that have disabled protagonists and directly incorporate the protagonist's conditio#into game mechanics and structure#like that game Endoparasitic that had the basic premise your character has only one remaining limb (right arm)#and how this affects the structure of everything you have to do#I recall also hearing about a game where you play a blind protagonist navigating a haunted house#where tapping your cane to identify your surroundings is both instrumental and risky as the hostile forces can hear it
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ok but the thought of the code actually glitching to break Etoiles armor hits hard though. these monsters are literally made up of code, they can glitch appearances, glitch items - of course they glitched his armor.
besides that, it's an ultimate blow to his character.
he's upheld his expectations as the islands greatest warrior, their defender. with this comes not just that responsibility, but a sort of respect for who/what he's been fighting off. the codes he's grown so used to. if he were to ever lose, he'd expect it to be from exhaustion. from being physically unable to lift himself up and fight anymore, because there would be no other way he would not stand and fight - but he loses without being given a chance to win. the code messes with Etoiles’ own player coding to unnaturally break his armor, giving a dirty death to someone who fights with duty and honor.
it wasn't fair, and that's the entire point, it was never going to be fair. like how they psychologically fucked with him using fake Pomme before, and almost won - this was never a fight to see who could win. it was a fight to ensure that he would lose. he’s reminded of something important - that he can bleed, and he can die.
this island doesn't play fair, and he can't shoulder the weight of the world on his own. a single shield will never be enough to protect a whole village. and now he's lost the actual shield, the one thing he could use to protect them all.
the loss leaves him without protection, both feeling guilty failing as the guardian of the island, and unsatisfied, because how can he say he truly got a chance to beat the challenge? there is no satisfaction in this loss, no way to come to terms with his failure, because it wasn’t done on an even playing field.
it’s hardly a consolation, knowing his loss was unnatural, unfair, because it’s a loss he could not afford. not only did he lose the shield, but he learned that there are moves that are unfair and unnatural that he can’t fight against. how’s he meant to fight something that can influence his own coding, especially without the shield that gave him the chance to fight in the first place? how’s he meant to protect the island, when he can’t protect himself?
15-1, G fuckin G
#looking directly at my ‘etoiles is a shield’ analysis. breaks down into tears screaming crying throwing up#I’m never falling asleep during an etoiles stream again btw. last time I did and woke up he got the code sword. this time he lost the shield#I’m gonna have to watch the full fight and not just clips on twt and might add more after depending on what I see but fuck man#it wasn’t admins cheating just to give him a loss. it was codes cheating to give him a loss. it was unfair and cheap and entirely done#because of that. a reminder that the island does not play fair. maybe a reminder they can’t fight alone or smth#idk I’m fucked up about it#I can’t believe he lost#mcyt#qsmp#etoiles#q!etoiles#character analysis#z speaks
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Would Midnight be patient with my fellow discalculia girlies... I love her but am So So Pathologically Bad at math
Midnight teaches advanced algebra to cats, you'll be fine. She'll conjure up a fractal for you, color each part of the equation, show how each part interacts and what it looks like when you change it
She'll take you out to the beach and explain the wind and the tide, compare them to each axis on the formula she showed you, and modify one factor. The wind dies down and the sea becomes as smooth as glass.
"Smoothness for the-waves you-see?" She waits for you to nod, never rushing you along, even the most casual questions are genuine, "Excellent! For this is example of maths I-teach. Nature it-will-happen. Simpleness it-being. You-will-understand."
#Giant robot meme and person staring at it#Person says#''wow! There is beauty in every corner of life and all can be understood by learning the simple and complex sciences that govern existence!#Gun being shot up says ''math is incomprehensible magic''#I am also a dyscalculia girlie fhehdjdhd#Funfact a major reason I committed so hard to Clan counting being so convoluted is because I want the math girlies--#To be as confused with numbers as I always am <3#If I can't count you won't either that is a threat <3#I have noticed a recurring theme in my work (affectionate) is Weird Girl Who Does Math#This rework of Midnight is like... 1 example of at least 3 characters who use math for some magical purpose#And they are all girls#(And yes they smoke weed)#The other 3 are OCs though and it is always either a metaphor for magic or directly tied to something arcane in their universe#MATH SCARY (writes endlessly about math)#BB!Midnight#Better bones au#Also another side note she speaks Lakemew. Ancient Lakemew. Which is SVO ordered like English#So I write her in OSV order like Clanmew (and like her canonic cadence) in these examples where she's speaking Clanmew#But funny enough she would sound the most 'normal' to an english speaker
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honestly so fucking real
#it's insane#like again these are coincidental things that align heavily with some transfem experiences and fears but it's wild that this character#speaks to them so directly and metaphorically#gundam#g witch#g witch spoilers
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Not to sound like an asshole but I really do think some published authors should have their internet access revoked until they can prove that they understand how human beings actually speak to each other in real life and not twitter
#I feel like I'm a pretty forgiving reader like it takes a lot for me to straight up not enjoy a book once I've started it#but the phenomenon of writers in recent years writing blocks of dialogue#that read like overly articulate therapy speak riddled twitter threads#that are virtually impossible to read like natural dialogue in a characters voice#drives me up the wall#like please just let characters be characters!#let the story speak for itself!#they don't have to do the book equivalent of staring directly into camera and telling the reader the moral of the story!#I know this is not a brand new opinion or anything#but it really vexes me because so many books with real potential#end up falling flat because the author was too anxious that the audience know EXACTLY what it's about™#to leave room for even a hint of nuance or subtlety or human messiness
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Transcription: Zayne's ST "Beginning"
i transcribed Zayne's ST story for meta purposes and thought I would put the transcription here for others to have it if they haven't unlocked it yet/to have it more accessible than it is in game
everything with "Foreseer:" is Zayne speaking directly, anything not attributed is the poem. i did it this way to make it easier to read the poem on its own, since that's what i hope to analyze in the future <3
Foreseer: Shift your gaze elsewhere. Foreseer: Your expression shall not even earn an ounce of my pity. Foreseer: Though it seems a night in the throne room was not enough. Foreseer: Perhaps you desire to be frozen with the wall as your paltry confessional? [Ice SFX] Foreseer: Better to yield now than later. [Page turning SFX] Foreseer: Could you still be interested in what I’m currently reading? Foreseer: …Certainly, ’tis a poem related to Astra. Its descriptions suit you. Foreseer: Would you like to hear it? - A great distance beyond, …. north of ice and snow, Atop the Divine Mountain, When Light pierces through howling blizzards, The divine sing of Destiny’s crest My Emissary devout, Will thou be lost in these celestial halls? Will thou have the courage to wait for Mine words? To unveil thy fate predetermined. - Foreseer: You appear to be fascinated. Foreseer: [Laugh?] Hmph, then don’t speak. - With the frozen kingdom awakened, Greedy ants fall into eternal slumber. The divine rest upon their thrones, Yet hidden daggers lie beneath their robes. Brazen trespasser, Arcticyons sing of thy requiem. Dost thou know where thy stands, Upon white, gleaming bones? - Foreseer: I don’t mind repeating this verse. Consider it a prophesy of your future. Foreseer: Are you frightened? Foreseer: If this is all your courage is capable of, you best forget about the Creatio Protocore. [Page turning SFX] - Traces of destiny like shimmering starlight, Bind people who have never met… - Foreseer: I’ll stop here. The last verse is rather strange. Foreseer: Do you truly wish to strike a deal? Foreseer: You ask far too many questions. [Ice SFX] Foreseer: Must your wild curiosity be satiated? - Celestial Savior, Is thou prepared? To save him from darkness? To be his sanctuary amidst rime and gale, To allow the descent… of miracles once again? - [END] here is the poem in its entirety without interjections just to make it easier to read:
A great distance beyond, …. north of ice and snow, Atop the Divine Mountain, When Light pierces through howling blizzards, The divine sing of Destiny’s crest My Emissary devout, Will thou be lost in these celestial halls? Will thou have the courage to wait for Mine words? To unveil thy fate predetermined. With the frozen kingdom awakened, Greedy ants fall into eternal slumber. The divine rest upon their thrones, Yet hidden daggers lie beneath their robes. Brazen trespasser, Arcticyons sing of thy requiem. Dost thou know where thy stands, Upon white, gleaming bones? Traces of destiny like shimmering starlight, Bind people who have never met… Celestial Savior, Is thou prepared? To save him from darkness? To be his sanctuary amidst rime and gale, To allow the descent… of miracles once again?
#i'm so obsessed with this scene that i'm kind of pacing the floors of my apartment thinking about it constantly#i think that it is one of those things we will look back on and think#'wow they foreshadowed this entire zayne plot here thats crazy'#i have some crazy theories i fear#but i think ultimately this scene is very cool in that astra is speaking directly to mc via zayne#and... perhaps i am insane! but. i think that zayne's myth is what starts the entire cycle of death and rebirth#also thinking about that john keats poem they used to introduce zayne#before the game's release btw. insane#but i think this idea of cycles and death and rebirth are really central to his character Somehow#there is also something to be said about mc Not dying in zaynes myth#as opposed to the other two#i think zayne breaks the cycle only to start a new one#getting out my red string but i promise im onto something#anyway um#love and deepspace#lads#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#li shen#love and deepspace zayne#foreseer zayne
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An interview with Heloïse Bourdon and Mathieu Ganio on all things Mayerling.
#ballet#ballerina#danseur#etoile#paris opera ballet#mayerling#heloise bourdon#mathieu ganio#interview#some stupid questions#some predictable#some unimaginative#but still many great and in depth answers#also not me nodding the whole time Mathieu was speaking about Rudolf and his character#because hell yes you got him so right!#also if his smile alone could make flowers bloom#their smiles combined rival the power of a nuclear power plant#also also we can never thank enough for Dana Fouras and her impact on POB Mayerling 2024#I always find issues with questions from the public#it’s this second hand embaressement that is gripping me the whole time#even though the question themselves turn out to be perfectly all right and clever#there is still the possibility of someone asking#how come you are SO brilliant#which regarding Mathieu as Rudolf yes understandable#and it gave us a blushing Mathieu so thank you for tha I guess#but ffs what kind of question is that?!#just tell him you have found him génial in the role and then ask a question like a normal person#at the same time if he were looking at me directly and gave his radioactive smile#I wouldn’t really be coherent in any human language ever#how very teenage fangirl of my ancient self
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I was inspired by @/okartichoke’s ace avian AU to think about what kind of wings other characters would have (because I love the choices they’ve had for the designs they’ve posted so far)… and decided everyone in Khura’in should have insect wings! Huge spoilers for Spirit of Justice below the cut obvs
I like to think the wings come in at around 15-16 (or after an intense spiritual experience) so Rayfa doesn’t have hers yet by the end of the game (mostly to keep the mystery), but they’d be the same as Nahyuta’s
Nahyuta has Khura’inese butterfly wings with a white ribbon (to mimic the one he wears) and a green mitamah pattern (which’ll make sense when I talk about Dhurke’s)
Dhurke’s got green dragontail butterfly (Lamproptera meges) wings, which is where Nahyuta and Rayfa get the green mitamah pattern from! I literally only found out about it because I wondered if there were any butterflies with “dragon” in their name. Here’s a picture for reference!
Ga’ran and Amara have basic Khura’inese butterfly wings, but with a more purple tint because royalty
Non-royal monks like Ahlbi have moth wings; Ahlbi’s specifically are going to be a blue tiger moth’s (Dysphania palmyra) when he’s older because they’re cool and fit his color scheme
Datz, being a foreigner, wouldn’t have insect wings so maybe peregrine falcon because paratrooper?
I’m thinking monks might decide to either trim their wings or simply not use them because it’s seen as disrespectful? The wing types among the common populace would be more varied tho (think dragonflies, crickets, beetles)
Haven’t really thought beyond this tbh (why the Feys have feathered wings as opposed to insect, the specifics of certain people’s, etc.) so if y’all have any ideas feel free to tell me!
#Moon Speaks#aa6#aa6 spoilers#wing au#Again if you want to send in suggestions for the non-Khura’inese characters please please PLEASE tell me I wanna hear y’all’s thoughts!#not @ing directly bc I don’t wanna bother them
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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i don’t know what you guys are all complaining about i love that svu has vaporized olivia from woman on the verge to lady cragen
#she's behind the desk she's giving advice she's scolding the kids#she has a life we know nothing about but we know she's Seen It All and also is Lonely#i haven't been saying much about this season because here is the humiliating truth:#i am letting the cop show make me sad#(i should know better)#yes the lack of eo is a bummer but we've done it before we'll do it again#but having a season of genuinely interesting character work re olivia#to have the narrative directly engage with her as a soft furious grieving woman#to question her state of mind and what she does to herself in service of The Calling#only to not simply backtrack but neutralize her fully…#yeesh#is it a coincidence m has barely spoken a word about svu on any press appearances this season?#well no because what is there to say really#this is not a landmark season and there are zero plans to move olivia forward#she’s right where we left her tune into nbc thursdays at 8pm eastern#BUT what makes me most sad is that this shift was a demand from the viewers#(again! i should know better! and yet!)#i am just. a little heartbroken to have it confirmed that much of the audience loves olivia on the condition that she is Good#not only because she very much isn't#but also because that is boring and dangerous and speaks to our deeply warped perception of what it means to be a complete person#more specifically a complete woman#yet the audience lets out a sigh of relief! saint olivia is back! she is a Strong Woman giving Lawfully Good advice! phew!#remember when she was a little broken and volatile and seeing ghosts don’t worry she’s fixed now :)#please note my reaction is certainly tied to other real life happenings including 11/5 looming#alas it’s where i am#anyways dw you’re a loser
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