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🐈⬛🖤INTRO POST🖤🐦⬛
I'm finally making an intro post! under the break you will find everything from DNI to Hyperfixations/Interests, plus a new tagging system I'll be using so my blog isn't such a wasteland <33 Enjoy
alright lets start with some info!
My name is Onyx
I'm a non binary lesbian
I use they/xe/it and a bunch of neopronouns
I identify with a bunch of xenogenders!
I flip from hyperfixation to hyperfixation super easily but my special interests are musical theatre and psychology/mental illness. (2 very different things i know).
I'm 18 years old and Australian :3
before you follow !
I might spam reblog sometimes, but I'll have all reblogs tagged so you can mute that if you like.
I'm always happy to receive asks and such, anonymous or not!! please i want mutuals ;-;.
i might vent at times, nothing too serious of course and always properly tagged.
Just keep this in mind!
DNI IF:
- you fall into basic DNI criteria (homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc.)
- you're pro-ana or pro-sh as I'm in recovery for both of these.
- you're a proshipper
- you're under 12
- you're a Monika apologist (DDLC)
- you fake claim
- you're anti neopronouns/xenogenders
some of my triggers are ,
vomit, in any way, this is my biggest one!! i have very severe emetephobia and dont really even like the word.
IRL sans hoodies/blue jackets that look similar to that.
Sayoris death scene from DDLC
i love musical theatre, rock/metal music, LGBTQIA+ advocacy, mental health advocacy, psychology, dungeons and dragons/other TTRPGs and witchy stuff :3
I'm in a lot of fandoms, including !
DDLC, Dimension 20 (fantasy high), Danganronpa, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Ride The Cyclone, SIX, Beetlejuice, Hamilton, Heathers, Vocaloid, Sanrio, Unus Annus, TBHK, MLP, FNAF, Marvel, NITW, Pokemon, Supernatural, Markiplier egos, WKM, ADWM, AHWM, ISWM, Jacksepticeye egos, Doctor Who, Starkid, The Hatchetfield Trilogy AND MANY MORE I CANT REMEMBER RN!!
this section will update every now and then with whatever I'm hyperfixating on !! right now its;
will wood/will wood and the tapeworms!!!
I kin !
Sayori (DDLC)
Kokichi (DRV3)
Angeldust (HH)
Jane Doe (RTC)
Fave characters are !
All kins <3
Ibuki Mioda (DRV2)
Emu Otori (PJSK)
Celestia Ludenberg (DRV1)
Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg (RTC)
Kuromi (Sanrio)
Kristen Applebees (D20)
Figueroth Faeth (D20)
im gonna introduce a tagging system to make my blog less of a messy hellscape!!
reblogs will be tagged with #onyx rbs
me yelling about fandoms will be tagged with #onyx fandom posting
vents will be tagged with #onyx sad
more serious posts will be tagged with #onyx serious
random shit/rambles will be tagged with #onyx is rambling
answering asks will be tagged with #onyx answers asks
heres some stuff that doesn't fit into any of the previous categories!
my favourite mutuals are @frogsareallgay , @elias-pluto , @tumbletryr and @teslapenguini !!
My favourite animals are black cats, crows/ravens, moths and bats! and i identify heavily with black cats specifically!! (im the real black cat gf sorrry not sorry >:3)
Some of the neopronouns i use are :3
glitch/void/moon/star/spirit/crow/moth/hallow/cat/kit/arcade/wisp
heres some links to my other socials !!
Insta: rock_lesbian
Twitter: Dnd_Lesbian
Discord: onyxjae
Pinterest: Onyx Jae
Carrd: Onyx Jae's Carrd
Spacehey: Onyx Jae
anyway, to close out, thank you for reading through all of this!! i hope you enjoy your stay on my blog !!! love yall <33
#this took so long to put together#i took a lot of breaks but id say a good 3 hours#spaced out over 2 days#whatever#im proud of it#<33
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honestly all of them are really bad at enduring the silent treatment/you wanting to be alone after an argument but satoru and megumi are the absolute worst like satoru cannot do it he cannot have you not talking to him he will do anything he will beg he will cry he will grovel he will buy food and presents and a house and a car and sing to you outside of your window and beg and beg and beg, and megumi cannot stand the idea of you going to bed angry at him
#yuuji feels bad that he made you mad/sad so he has to give u space if u ask for it#but he's vibrating and anxious the whole time#he stress bakes an entire bakery in like 2 hours and then comes over with flowers he picked out of the ground himself#and is like i know ur still mad at me bc can i at least be here while ur mad pls i wont make noise#hes SOOOOO baby boy :((((#i think shoto does his best to give u space but he still like. hovers like a deflated balloon even if it is from a distance LOLLL#LMFAO just picturing him like. moping in the window watching u leave to get in ur car and go to work#and he doesnt move from that spot until like. 20 mins after youve pulled away#spend the whole day just floating around GODDD#this doesnt work w katsuki u two are going to work it out.mp3 even if it kills u both LMFAO#💌
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2 am thoughts about roommates
#small dooble at 2 am :)#I think the they were roommates trope is great because living with someone beyond the sort of intimacy of sharing a space also comes with#compromises and accomodations for each other’s differences. small psychological changes such as internal clock and lighting and such#I’m glad I have roommates haha though it’s a bit lonely right now since one of them is doing summer research in Wisconsin#and the other is on vacation and went home for July 4th long weekend#a bit sad that I’m working over July 3 and 4 but I did plan it out that way for myself since there’s not anything else to do on those days#anyways I should go sleep
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if the trope works, it ✨works✨ y’know~
#(aka chizuchan manga ch5 is coming out in 18 1/2 hours and im too excited to sleeeeep)#(s o im reading rofan isekai manhwa as a bedtime story☆ but the story is too interesting to lull me to sleep☆ ✨sad times✨)#still thinking about this rofan webnovel i binged over the weekend with a dynamic like this^#the dude pined for over a hundred chapters before going from 0-100 the moment they were in an enclosed space together it was so funny#the fact that his interest in her started bc she gave him tips on tax evasion was iconic tbhhh#m a n i cant forget that dumb biscotti boi no matter what i do… that novel was pretty good and it had reasons™️ for why the fl was so op…#thinking about them and their hilarious dynamic again kinda makes me want to see lxl in a rofan setting tbh#they’d have the pettiest of arguments esp in a ‘formal’ nobles setting#i d o kinda have a draft/stuff for a lxl villainess isekai au fic… but i think it’d be too sad if they dont un-isekai themselves back#so i havent done much with it… hm. maybe some day…#b u t on another note fanart of meoto rofan aus are always fun to see#their costumes are so complex yet the artists always draw them so beautifully… thank you for the food lxl twt#but… demon x human sacrifice is. lowkey. kinda… beauty & the beast-esque… right…?#except for how demon!aizo prolly wasnt cursed into demonhood. but. still.#oh well… maybe that’s enough rofan lxl thoughts for one day… see y’all when chizuchan ch5 drops later~~~~~~
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Anyone got any recs for actual play dnd (or other ttrpg) podcast thats actually intended to be audio based and not "Visual but we turned the audio into a podcast"??
#ive got over an hour commute EACH WAY 5 days a week now and theres only so many educational podcasts you can listen to before realising that#youve essentially extended your workday another 2-3 hours each day. oh and i also have trainings which are another 40 minute commute IN THE#OPPOSITE DIRECTION#:'(#but yeah i digress. i need podcasts where i get to turn my mind off#ive been through taz and ive tried cr and dimention20 but its too visually based and i feel like im missing out or have to focus way toomuch#also did listen to dungeons and daddies but parents loosing their kids is a trigger for me so yeah...#so preferably tips where child endangerment / looking for lost kids / losing parents isnt a big plot point#not space
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one thing i find really difficult about navigating the IF space is the direct line of contact between readers and authors. we share the same space, and i think that plays a big part in this weird blurred line we have in this community and overall lack of boundaries.
for a lot of people this is a fun hobby and while i personally try to keep it... semi-professional most of the time, it's easy to get wrapped up in having fun on tumblr (or the forums, or reddit, wherever it is that you mainly post/interact) and have a lot of personal interactions with both readers and authors alike - which is fun! i like it more often than not, but i also think that's why a lot of comments in this space can end up being really entitled, over-familiar, and inappropriate.
it's no secret that most authors get really weird messages on here, and while this is also a problem on social media at large and not just specific to IF tumblr, it is still definitely a big problem in this community.
and to be clear i'm not saying that you can't be friendly with authors or readers (i've become friends with a handful of readers myself) and i definitely don't mean to imply that there needs to be a huge divide between us; that's silly - again, most authors are readers, most readers are authors, we’re just people on the internet sharing the same space. but all of us deserve to have our boundaries respected. this is my story, and we are strangers. as a general rule of thumb: if you wouldn't say it out loud to someone you just met, you probably shouldn't be saying it to a stranger online. especially anonymously.
#i also think this is why some criticisms get so messy in this space as well#authors should not always be in the same space as the readers/reviewers#and readers shouldnt be able to directly @ authors with their extremely negative reviews esp when it's subjective#(‘’i hate this’’ as opposed to pointing out genuinely harmful content or other criticism)#for everyone's sake#& on a kinda related note: speaking as someone who has been receiving targeted harassment for *checks watch* over two years now#some people really need to reevaluate the way they interact with certain media#i think IF feels very personal due to the interactivity and the customization of the mc#but not everything is written for you. and it's fine to just not like something#without sending weird harassing anonymous messages for 2 years straight to a stranger on the internet. lol#honestly criticism is another can of worms and that's not really what i'm talking about here#but i do think that's also part of the entitlement and overfamiliarity as well#so imo it's connected a little bit. something to think about#at the end of the day my advice to other authors about this is to know your limits and know when you need to extract yourself#and know that you don't have to respond to every ask#especially if it makes you uncomfortable#and im definitely not trying to sound like the authority here this is something i've struggled with as well#like i said it is hard to navigate#and authors can be guilty of this too. wanting to defend yourself or insert yourself into conversations where you shouldn't#i've done that myself#and i've also had other authors i dont know be way overly familiar with me in the past#all of this is just an unfortunate part of online community i think. but im trying to be more mindful about it#anyways. this post brought to you by the weird messages in my and my friends' inboxes lately#i just think you should not be telling authors about pesonal bodily functions in anonymous asks#as an example. lol#personal
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Bro i was listening to Taylor swift and ‘don’t blame me’ song reminded me of Rin deadass
✦゜ANSWERED: YEAHHHHH!! IT TOTALLY FITS HIM!! @yourunhingedgirlfriend once made a Ren mood board(?) including that song as well, and it hasn't left my mind since ^^ <3
But yeah!! I still stand by the headcanon that [REDACTED] is in his Reputation era and Ren is in his Lover era ;v; Also, in this 391,490,009 page essay I will be talking about how "Mastermind" and "Hey Stephen (Taylor's Version)" are such Ren/[REDACTED] coded songs, and that the entire Evermore and Folklore albums were the inspiration behind Elanor's charac-
#Mother Taylor raised me so you KNOOOOW I'm all over that cryptic and machiavellian stuff >:)#It's why I have /massive/ 14DWY spoilers hidden all over this blog for y'all to find and work out ghjsdghjs#And there's even a TS song reference in one of the endings for Day 2!!#But ya.... I love her sm ;v; She's a big inspiration for me#Like.... this is probably gonna sound really cliche and silly but I /genuinely/ do admire Taylor Swift and her music <3#Everyone probably thinks she's overrated because Shake It Off/Love Story/Blank Space/etc were so overplayed on the radio#But Clean?? My Tears Ricochet??? You're Losing me????? GAHHHH!!!!!!!! T____T#So many amazing songs and people aren't listening to it!!!!!! /lh#Anyways!! Speak Now (Taylor's Version) is coming out soon and it's gonna feature Paramore and FOB <3 I'm crying. Sobbing actually /silly#Also!!! That means Last Kiss is gonna make a comeback and my inner child is healing!!!#💌 — answered.#💖 — about ren.#🖤 — shut up sai.#Not me ranting in the tags about how much I love TS kjgbSDJG Embarrassing..........#💖 — 14 days with queue.
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Come out to the garden, beneath the wisteria and beside the moonflowers...
Somebody's waiting for you...
#heppy early valentynes day i suppose <3#don't get your hopes up they're just gonna sit your ass down pour you some tea and nerd out over relics and space#...and maybe give you a leetol smooch?? 👀#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas qi#mtas builder#shady learns 2 art#mtas wisteria#mtas fanart
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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oh yeah update on the shelter for my cat, they emailed me back but it's cuz they're moving locations so i won't be able to surrender her till mid january at the earliest.........
#msposts#text#complaining#yeaahhh#and my roommates called me at work like#oh yeah the handyman is calling an exterminator for the roaches to treat hopefully the whole building#and im like it ebetter be cuz im certain the neighbours are adding to the issue here#i mostly see them at water sources in our house and rarely around like our garbage#so im certain theyre eating well somewhere#but then they were like uhhmmm we cant fit all 4 cat carriers into the back of our car and im like you could if u put two on the floor but#ig the issue isnt the space its the fact they just dont want to#told me “figure it out”#my only friends i know here i can ask fer help are super busy and theres still no eta for the guys to spray#and i gotta be otu fer 4 hours min#i cant bring the cats on the bus cuz one is very loud and if i uber anywhre itll be like 40 bucks for the day#assuming anyone will allow me over at all#so im prepping mentally for sitting outside with yowling cats for 4 fucking hours#and i just know the shit ass handyman will give us like 2 days notice and i wont have time to book it off for work#so i wont have enough for bills and will have to scrape by again#so whatever i guess idfk
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i need to get back on testosterone oh my god.
#you can track my period just based on me going I need to get back on t. i need to get back on t#remember when i didnt have it for like 2 years... hey guys can anyone hear me#like i always would like to be back on d (if only bc my hormones are actually insane#but Goddd esp period#which is whiny bc mine rly is not thwt bad theyre very spaced out (recently theyve been getting more consistent) and only like 4 days long.#and my cramps arent that bad#i just feel awful and bad and i want evrything to be over.#tmi btw sry. but im beautiful so......
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The Ideal polycule in Work, Around the House, and Date outfits
#Emile's Arts#Teruteru#Koro-Sensei#Fatgum#I really wanted to do MORE art for this takeover#I was gonna draw the reaction images and have Koro 'Leak' little snippets of the house and day to day life throughout the month#but my god y'all#I do not have spoons I keep thinking I do and then I draw for an hour and feel like Death#Which is REALLY stupid in my opinion#This took me about 5 hours over all most of it was spent figuring out modern guy fashion#If it was up to me all three date outfits would be dresses I promise#Koro-Sensei'l little moon space dress is so freaken cute with the cardigan and belt#I love him he was the easiest took the least time#I fought with myself for half an hour about putting Teru in a sweater and eventually caved and sweatered him up#I wanted him to dress different but I cannot stop the allure that is Turtle Neck and Blazer#On point like a lazer in him turtle neck and blazer#and scarf to add layering and color#Taishiro took the longest though at 2 hours#The only thought I had going into his outfits was I wanted to keep the hoodie aspect#Becuase he just seems like the guy to always have a coat#He's not like cold he's just comforted by hoodie#Koro-Sensei again was easy 30 minutes I took the longest on the cat ears of his gamer time hoodie#because just his Gamer Girl hoodie wasn't enough#He has many many gamer hoodies and never wears pants#And I love that for him#Anyway midway through this week I'm gonna try to up the amount of art I do#So this week might be a little slow starting as I charge up for it#I have a big ask game for tommorrow and Tuesday though and I'll try to be more on top of asks!#Thankyou everyone again for participating in this Takeover#I just wanted to spend a little more time focusing on these three and their tags were just... always empty?
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once again i am on the playlist lol
#just me hi#my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh#i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs#yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv#i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv#but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv#it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao#which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv#/what else what else uuum#i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv#and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper#yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3#/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj#balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg#prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D#maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY#though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT#it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit#just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago#also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3#//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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i still have some hospital haul stuff in the main area of my house rn that i need to clean up today. and it’s been on the itinerary to clean that up today and i for sure have the spoons for it. and i like want to do it. but earlier before my mother left to get her hair done she reminded me it needed to happen in that classic mom “i don’t mean to pressure you but i do lowkey mean to pressure you” kind of way and now i . don’t wanna.
#marzi speaks#mother i love you. i would have gotten this done 2 hours ago if you just didn’t say that at me#i think it’s a bit tricky bc my approach to things vs my parents’ approach to things is very different#when my parents have a to-do list for the day they try to get through as many things as possible#as fast as possible. they only really take breaks if they have to or for food#for me though? i operate way better when i do things in chunks#task complete. reward: break before next task#and spacing it out like that makes me have a much easier time of it all#but they look at that and are like. why not just get it all over with so you’re not thinking abt it all day#but the thing is i’m NOT thinking abt it all day. i’m not bothered bc i know it’ll get done i just get to chill for a bit first :)
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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