#spaced out over 2 days
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🐈⬛🖤INTRO POST🖤🐦⬛
I'm finally making an intro post! under the break you will find everything from DNI to Hyperfixations/Interests, plus a new tagging system I'll be using so my blog isn't such a wasteland <33 Enjoy
alright lets start with some info!
My name is Onyx
I'm a non binary lesbian
I use they/xe/it and a bunch of neopronouns
I identify with a bunch of xenogenders!
I flip from hyperfixation to hyperfixation super easily but my special interests are musical theatre and psychology/mental illness. (2 very different things i know).
I'm 18 years old and Australian :3
before you follow !
I might spam reblog sometimes, but I'll have all reblogs tagged so you can mute that if you like.
I'm always happy to receive asks and such, anonymous or not!! please i want mutuals ;-;.
i might vent at times, nothing too serious of course and always properly tagged.
Just keep this in mind!
DNI IF:
- you fall into basic DNI criteria (homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc.)
- you're pro-ana or pro-sh as I'm in recovery for both of these.
- you're a proshipper
- you're under 12
- you're a Monika apologist (DDLC)
- you fake claim
- you're anti neopronouns/xenogenders
some of my triggers are ,
vomit, in any way, this is my biggest one!! i have very severe emetephobia and dont really even like the word.
IRL sans hoodies/blue jackets that look similar to that.
Sayoris death scene from DDLC
i love musical theatre, rock/metal music, LGBTQIA+ advocacy, mental health advocacy, psychology, dungeons and dragons/other TTRPGs and witchy stuff :3
I'm in a lot of fandoms, including !
DDLC, Dimension 20 (fantasy high), Danganronpa, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Ride The Cyclone, SIX, Beetlejuice, Hamilton, Heathers, Vocaloid, Sanrio, Unus Annus, TBHK, MLP, FNAF, Marvel, NITW, Pokemon, Supernatural, Markiplier egos, WKM, ADWM, AHWM, ISWM, Jacksepticeye egos, Doctor Who, Starkid, The Hatchetfield Trilogy AND MANY MORE I CANT REMEMBER RN!!
this section will update every now and then with whatever I'm hyperfixating on !! right now its;
will wood/will wood and the tapeworms!!!
I kin !
Sayori (DDLC)
Kokichi (DRV3)
Angeldust (HH)
Jane Doe (RTC)
Fave characters are !
All kins <3
Ibuki Mioda (DRV2)
Emu Otori (PJSK)
Celestia Ludenberg (DRV1)
Ocean O'Connell Rosenburg (RTC)
Kuromi (Sanrio)
Kristen Applebees (D20)
Figueroth Faeth (D20)
im gonna introduce a tagging system to make my blog less of a messy hellscape!!
reblogs will be tagged with #onyx rbs
me yelling about fandoms will be tagged with #onyx fandom posting
vents will be tagged with #onyx sad
more serious posts will be tagged with #onyx serious
random shit/rambles will be tagged with #onyx is rambling
answering asks will be tagged with #onyx answers asks
heres some stuff that doesn't fit into any of the previous categories!
my favourite mutuals are @frogsareallgay , @elias-pluto , @tumbletryr and @teslapenguini !!
My favourite animals are black cats, crows/ravens, moths and bats! and i identify heavily with black cats specifically!! (im the real black cat gf sorrry not sorry >:3)
Some of the neopronouns i use are :3
glitch/void/moon/star/spirit/crow/moth/hallow/cat/kit/arcade/wisp
heres some links to my other socials !!
Insta: rock_lesbian
Twitter: Dnd_Lesbian
Discord: onyxjae
Pinterest: Onyx Jae
Carrd: Onyx Jae's Carrd
Spacehey: Onyx Jae
anyway, to close out, thank you for reading through all of this!! i hope you enjoy your stay on my blog !!! love yall <33
#this took so long to put together#i took a lot of breaks but id say a good 3 hours#spaced out over 2 days#whatever#im proud of it#<33
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honestly all of them are really bad at enduring the silent treatment/you wanting to be alone after an argument but satoru and megumi are the absolute worst like satoru cannot do it he cannot have you not talking to him he will do anything he will beg he will cry he will grovel he will buy food and presents and a house and a car and sing to you outside of your window and beg and beg and beg, and megumi cannot stand the idea of you going to bed angry at him
#yuuji feels bad that he made you mad/sad so he has to give u space if u ask for it#but he's vibrating and anxious the whole time#he stress bakes an entire bakery in like 2 hours and then comes over with flowers he picked out of the ground himself#and is like i know ur still mad at me bc can i at least be here while ur mad pls i wont make noise#hes SOOOOO baby boy :((((#i think shoto does his best to give u space but he still like. hovers like a deflated balloon even if it is from a distance LOLLL#LMFAO just picturing him like. moping in the window watching u leave to get in ur car and go to work#and he doesnt move from that spot until like. 20 mins after youve pulled away#spend the whole day just floating around GODDD#this doesnt work w katsuki u two are going to work it out.mp3 even if it kills u both LMFAO#💌
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2 am thoughts about roommates
#small dooble at 2 am :)#I think the they were roommates trope is great because living with someone beyond the sort of intimacy of sharing a space also comes with#compromises and accomodations for each other’s differences. small psychological changes such as internal clock and lighting and such#I’m glad I have roommates haha though it’s a bit lonely right now since one of them is doing summer research in Wisconsin#and the other is on vacation and went home for July 4th long weekend#a bit sad that I’m working over July 3 and 4 but I did plan it out that way for myself since there’s not anything else to do on those days#anyways I should go sleep
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breaking out of selective mutism is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do tbh and anytime someone makes me feel bad for not speaking i want to kick them in the shin
#cw vent#not rlly tho bc id never have the guts so i cast a menacing glare#i didn’t speak for over 2 years and i know that drastically fucked up my social skills#but i often slip back into it and when someone loudly points it out makes me wanna scream#but ofc i don’t bc my voice has vanished and im suddenly the weird little girl again#i’ve made so much progress over the years but i still struggle with it a lot and go through stretches where i just … can’t speak#tbd i’m just so annoyed that i have to be this way#it’s the most frustrating thing in the world actually#i’ll get over it again + move on but i’m just thankful for this little space bc i feel like i CAN use my voice here (most times)#i love when ppl on here think of me as bubbly and everything bc that’s the True me if i feel safe enough to express it#and i wish i could express it more irl beyond my family + close friends#one day :’) !!!!!!
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if the trope works, it ✨works✨ y’know~
#(aka chizuchan manga ch5 is coming out in 18 1/2 hours and im too excited to sleeeeep)#(s o im reading rofan isekai manhwa as a bedtime story☆ but the story is too interesting to lull me to sleep☆ ✨sad times✨)#still thinking about this rofan webnovel i binged over the weekend with a dynamic like this^#the dude pined for over a hundred chapters before going from 0-100 the moment they were in an enclosed space together it was so funny#the fact that his interest in her started bc she gave him tips on tax evasion was iconic tbhhh#m a n i cant forget that dumb biscotti boi no matter what i do… that novel was pretty good and it had reasons™️ for why the fl was so op…#thinking about them and their hilarious dynamic again kinda makes me want to see lxl in a rofan setting tbh#they’d have the pettiest of arguments esp in a ‘formal’ nobles setting#i d o kinda have a draft/stuff for a lxl villainess isekai au fic… but i think it’d be too sad if they dont un-isekai themselves back#so i havent done much with it… hm. maybe some day…#b u t on another note fanart of meoto rofan aus are always fun to see#their costumes are so complex yet the artists always draw them so beautifully… thank you for the food lxl twt#but… demon x human sacrifice is. lowkey. kinda… beauty & the beast-esque… right…?#except for how demon!aizo prolly wasnt cursed into demonhood. but. still.#oh well… maybe that’s enough rofan lxl thoughts for one day… see y’all when chizuchan ch5 drops later~~~~~~
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Anyone got any recs for actual play dnd (or other ttrpg) podcast thats actually intended to be audio based and not "Visual but we turned the audio into a podcast"??
#ive got over an hour commute EACH WAY 5 days a week now and theres only so many educational podcasts you can listen to before realising that#youve essentially extended your workday another 2-3 hours each day. oh and i also have trainings which are another 40 minute commute IN THE#OPPOSITE DIRECTION#:'(#but yeah i digress. i need podcasts where i get to turn my mind off#ive been through taz and ive tried cr and dimention20 but its too visually based and i feel like im missing out or have to focus way toomuch#also did listen to dungeons and daddies but parents loosing their kids is a trigger for me so yeah...#so preferably tips where child endangerment / looking for lost kids / losing parents isnt a big plot point#not space
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Bro i was listening to Taylor swift and ‘don’t blame me’ song reminded me of Rin deadass
✦゜ANSWERED: YEAHHHHH!! IT TOTALLY FITS HIM!! @yourunhingedgirlfriend once made a Ren mood board(?) including that song as well, and it hasn't left my mind since ^^ <3
But yeah!! I still stand by the headcanon that [REDACTED] is in his Reputation era and Ren is in his Lover era ;v; Also, in this 391,490,009 page essay I will be talking about how "Mastermind" and "Hey Stephen (Taylor's Version)" are such Ren/[REDACTED] coded songs, and that the entire Evermore and Folklore albums were the inspiration behind Elanor's charac-
#Mother Taylor raised me so you KNOOOOW I'm all over that cryptic and machiavellian stuff >:)#It's why I have /massive/ 14DWY spoilers hidden all over this blog for y'all to find and work out ghjsdghjs#And there's even a TS song reference in one of the endings for Day 2!!#But ya.... I love her sm ;v; She's a big inspiration for me#Like.... this is probably gonna sound really cliche and silly but I /genuinely/ do admire Taylor Swift and her music <3#Everyone probably thinks she's overrated because Shake It Off/Love Story/Blank Space/etc were so overplayed on the radio#But Clean?? My Tears Ricochet??? You're Losing me????? GAHHHH!!!!!!!! T____T#So many amazing songs and people aren't listening to it!!!!!! /lh#Anyways!! Speak Now (Taylor's Version) is coming out soon and it's gonna feature Paramore and FOB <3 I'm crying. Sobbing actually /silly#Also!!! That means Last Kiss is gonna make a comeback and my inner child is healing!!!#💌 — answered.#💖 — about ren.#🖤 — shut up sai.#Not me ranting in the tags about how much I love TS kjgbSDJG Embarrassing..........#💖 — 14 days with queue.
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Come out to the garden, beneath the wisteria and beside the moonflowers...
Somebody's waiting for you...
#heppy early valentynes day i suppose <3#don't get your hopes up they're just gonna sit your ass down pour you some tea and nerd out over relics and space#...and maybe give you a leetol smooch?? 👀#my time at sandrock#mtas#mtas qi#mtas builder#shady learns 2 art#mtas wisteria#mtas fanart
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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oh yeah update on the shelter for my cat, they emailed me back but it's cuz they're moving locations so i won't be able to surrender her till mid january at the earliest.........
#msposts#text#complaining#yeaahhh#and my roommates called me at work like#oh yeah the handyman is calling an exterminator for the roaches to treat hopefully the whole building#and im like it ebetter be cuz im certain the neighbours are adding to the issue here#i mostly see them at water sources in our house and rarely around like our garbage#so im certain theyre eating well somewhere#but then they were like uhhmmm we cant fit all 4 cat carriers into the back of our car and im like you could if u put two on the floor but#ig the issue isnt the space its the fact they just dont want to#told me “figure it out”#my only friends i know here i can ask fer help are super busy and theres still no eta for the guys to spray#and i gotta be otu fer 4 hours min#i cant bring the cats on the bus cuz one is very loud and if i uber anywhre itll be like 40 bucks for the day#assuming anyone will allow me over at all#so im prepping mentally for sitting outside with yowling cats for 4 fucking hours#and i just know the shit ass handyman will give us like 2 days notice and i wont have time to book it off for work#so i wont have enough for bills and will have to scrape by again#so whatever i guess idfk
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i need to get back on testosterone oh my god.
#you can track my period just based on me going I need to get back on t. i need to get back on t#remember when i didnt have it for like 2 years... hey guys can anyone hear me#like i always would like to be back on d (if only bc my hormones are actually insane#but Goddd esp period#which is whiny bc mine rly is not thwt bad theyre very spaced out (recently theyve been getting more consistent) and only like 4 days long.#and my cramps arent that bad#i just feel awful and bad and i want evrything to be over.#tmi btw sry. but im beautiful so......
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once again i am on the playlist lol
#just me hi#my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh#i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs#yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv#i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv#but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv#it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao#which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv#/what else what else uuum#i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv#and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper#yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3#/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj#balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg#prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D#maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY#though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT#it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit#just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago#also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3#//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3
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i still have some hospital haul stuff in the main area of my house rn that i need to clean up today. and it’s been on the itinerary to clean that up today and i for sure have the spoons for it. and i like want to do it. but earlier before my mother left to get her hair done she reminded me it needed to happen in that classic mom “i don’t mean to pressure you but i do lowkey mean to pressure you” kind of way and now i . don’t wanna.
#marzi speaks#mother i love you. i would have gotten this done 2 hours ago if you just didn’t say that at me#i think it’s a bit tricky bc my approach to things vs my parents’ approach to things is very different#when my parents have a to-do list for the day they try to get through as many things as possible#as fast as possible. they only really take breaks if they have to or for food#for me though? i operate way better when i do things in chunks#task complete. reward: break before next task#and spacing it out like that makes me have a much easier time of it all#but they look at that and are like. why not just get it all over with so you’re not thinking abt it all day#but the thing is i’m NOT thinking abt it all day. i’m not bothered bc i know it’ll get done i just get to chill for a bit first :)
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it may be unpopular to say but if i get 3 messages in a row for my inbox im gonna go out on a limb and say there's something fishy afoot here
#personal#getting asks spaced out over days is probable#but 3 in a row? In the span of 2 minutes?#so uh#i dont think i'll be sharing donation links for a while#just the ones for organizations#like the pcrf
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got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those#themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready#it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group#the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask#if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit#bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run)#honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own)#and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn#ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain#except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away#solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time#you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty.#digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time#maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both.#maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would#maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough
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starting on eclipse's bouquet...
#random#finished solar's a few days ago#i feel a little bad cuz his is mostly made up of flowers used for foliage#(which is a little interesting symbolically ehehe)#eclipse's though...#lot of tree leaves#so I'm gonna have to find more sources for actual flowers#and a lot of the ones I picked out for him are complex in folds#which is not something I'm used to#wish me luck guys the last one took me a good 6 hours spaced out over the course of 2 days
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