#source: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

[smh0217]

*Neo and Jaune are riding in a car together after Neo took him hostage*

Neo, driving: It was good you decided to come with me.

Jaune, in the passenger seat: …I didn't decide anything. You said you'd kill me if I didn't go.

Neo: Well you decided it would be better to come with me than die. That was nice.

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Rogue: I spoke to the guard at the scene. Bard: What did they say? Rogue: "Go away".

[incorrectstanleyparablequotes]

Stanley, to the Narrator: Why did I forget how annoying you are?

[protecticarus]

todd: they’re making another planet earth

dirk, unimpressed: oh yeah? and where exactly do they plan on getting the dirt for it?

todd:

todd: the documentary series, dirk, not the astronomical object

dirk: oh

[clockworkcheetah]

Dirk: can i ask questions? Todd: you can ask me one Dirk: are you a child of divorce?

[sonseulsoleil]

Dirk: Alright, so you and I are married.

Todd: We are NOT married.

Dirk: Relax, it's just pretend.

Todd: I don't wanna pretend.

Dirk: Scared you'll like it?

Todd: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.

Hobbs: Are those two like this all the time?

Farah: Yes.

[incorrecthsrquotes]

Renaldo: This is a bad idear. Dangeresque: Nonsense, this is the perfect opportunity to get some answers! Renaldo: The man shot at us! Whart if he just pulls a gun? Dangeresque: Aha! That’s why I brought… this. Dangeresque: *pulls out a knife* Renaldo: Wha’s that supposed ta do? Dangeresque: Well you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight! Renaldo: That it’s… bad? Dangeresque: Oh my god, is that what that means!?

[lesbian-deadpool]

Y/N: Did I make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: Did I only make mistakes? Yes.

Y/N: But did it work out? Kind of!

[hawkinsincorrect]

Robin: Want to dig up some more weird crap buried by a dead guy?

Nancy: More than anything else in the world.

[incorrect-whos-lila]

Fisher: You're a person of interest. Permanently. Even though you're not necessarily an interesting person. William: That feels unnecessarily rude...

[deliciousdietdrpepper]

I’m so upset that dirk gently got cancelled why cant we have nice things :/

[strangest-blorbo-tourney]

Strangest blorbo tourney: prelims (propaganda under the cut)

AZ (Pokemon X&Y)

Vs. Dirk Gently (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency [2016-2018])

AZ:

he looks like a tall hobo. but he's also secretly an immortal king with a tragic backstory and a unique pokemon that still isn't officially available for players. he's also the source of the "it's been 3000 years" meme.

Dirk Gently:

He's a detective who doesn't use clues, he just intuits wherever and whenever he's supposed to be. He's gay. He's autistic. He's British. He's wanted by the CIA. His narrative foil is a woman who can't die who calls herself a holistic assassin. She can't kill him because he's the Universe's specialist little chew toy. He's a leaf on the stream of creation and she's a piranha. He asked Elijah Wood to push his bum and make him go up.

[lolo-l0ved]

Request Open + Updates

Since I’m back from camp now (with a godly tan and back pains) I will say again, request are open ! I haven’t done a update in awhile so here’s some updates

Sources Added

Percy Jackson and the Olympians books/show/movies, Hazbin Hotel, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Scott Pilgrim Comics, Undead Unluck, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency & Yellowjackets

Other Updates

I’m not gonna be doing Rentry graphics atm. I will just straight up delete your ask if you send in any graphics request. I refuse this blog to become one of those only graphic blogs because that’s not what I started editing to do. Let me make wallpapers and icons !! Give me layouts request

[incorrectstanleyparablequotes]

Stanley: You are an insane person who has insinuated himself into my life in a moment of desperation! Narrator: Ok well, I think you're an insane person who has insinuated himself into being my combination main character and best friend.

[protecticarus]

dirk: [on the phone] todd! i know you told me santa wasn’t real but jokes on you because i’m at the mall and guess who’s bloody here!

[clockworkcheetah]

Dirk: who ate my leftovers? Amanda: who ate my brother's ass? Dirk: okay