#tsp incorrect quotes

[incorrectstanleyparablequotes]

The Narrator: How does one turn their emotions off? Employee 432: Ok, well, first you go to settings Employee 432: … Employee 432: I’m a fucking idiot, I thought you said emojis. The Narrator: No, no, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead, I'm in settings, what do I do next?

[a-rand0m-bl0g]

Wheatley: Quit ponderin' me mate!

Narrator: Don't be orb shaped then, idiot!

[cclover953]

Stanley: I made tea

Narrator: I don't want tea

Stanley: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea

Narrator: Then why are you telling me?

Stanley: It's a conversation starter

Narrator: That's a lousy conversation starter

Stanley: Oh is it? We are conversing. Checkmate

[incorrect-quotes-lobby]

The Narrator, talking to Stanley on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Stanley: You bet!

The Narrator: At what temperature?

Stanley: 535.

The Narrator: That's the clock.

Stanley:

The Narrator:

Stanley: 536.

[sapphic-bats]

Stanley: I poisoned someone’s coffee, but I completely forgot who’s it was.

Everyone: …

Narrator: Stanley, wait.

Stanley, lifting his mug to his lips: Hm?

Narrator: You’re the only person who drinks coffee.

(Mariella and Curator raise their mugs in silent agreement, showing off the tea that resides within)

Stanley: Oh.

Stanley: WAIT-

(Inspired by that one @mpils image)

[orangmarkr]

Stanley: Narrator, what came first, the fruit or color orange…?

Narrator: Wh- Stanley it’s fucking 3am.

[notwhoarchivist]

narrator: Stanley.

narrator: Stanley!

narrator: STANLEY!

stanley: It’s 2 in the morning, narrator, this better be important.

narrator: what’s a meme

Stanley: for fucks sake.

[somegaymernerd]

"Stanley scrolled twitter instead of doing his job. Stanley is terminally online."

- The Narrator, probably

[randomgzy]

𓆏

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Incorrect quotes

Thanks @leahnardo-da-veggie here!

Rules: use this incorrect quotes generator to come up with incorrect quotes for your OCs!

Tagging @mk-writes-stuff @buffythevampirelover @willtheweaver @elsie-writes @rickie-the-storyteller

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

I get too excited with these things, so below the cut!

Robbie: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

Carmen: If I die, you can have what little I own.

Jedi: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die?

Carmen: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full.

Jedi:

Jedi: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again.

Gwen: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.

Ash: Thank you for your sacrifice, Robbie.

Lexi: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Carmen: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Maddie: Oh god, she texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Lexi. She's mad at you.

Lexi: No, it's Noelle. She's just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Noelle: And then I used a period so she'd know that I'm mad at her.

Robbie: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Noelle: I stand by my choice.

Ash: God is no longer with us, I’ll take over.

Robbie: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Rose: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

Ash: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Noelle: Where did you get that?

Ash: My pocket.

Noelle: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Ash: Skills.

Noelle: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Robbie: It's Kelsey's turn.

Kelsey: Don't die.

Robbie, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Gwen: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship.

Noelle: We’re not friends.

Gwen, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Kelsey, handing a balloon to Rose: I have no soul. Have a good day!

Rose, walking off: I don't have one either.

Kelsey: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Maddie: Kelsey likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Robbie:

Robbie: I like you.

Maddie: What did you get Akash for his birthday?

Rose: I got him a kitten.

Maddie: Really? Me too!

Kelsey: I also got him a cat.

Robbie: Looks like we had the same idea.

Rose: Lexi, please tell me you didn't get Akash a cat as well!

Lexi: ...I got him a kitten.

*later*

Akash, in his apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!

[incorrectstanleyparablequotes]

Stanley: Guess who just got ✨dommed by the narrative✨ Stanley: DOOMED I MEAN DOOMED

[a-rand0m-bl0g]

Narrator: GLaDOS can make 5 tests and I'll make 5 stories, I'LL MAKE 100 STORIES!

GLaDOS: Nobody wants your stories, Narrator.

Narrator: PLEAAAASE-

[cclover953]

Narrator : Stanley, are you drinking hydrogen peroxide?!

Stanley : It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water!

[incorrect-quotes-lobby]

Narrator: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Curator: Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Narrator: I was angry and envious of my neighbour, so I lazily seduced his bucket and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Curator: You forgot pride.

Narrator: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

[mysticaidenanimatez]

Credit to @incorrectstanleyparablequotes

[this-train-aint-stopping]

Incorrect The Stanley Parable Quote #4

Narrator: Stanley... Stanley: Oh no, 'Stanley' in B flat. Stanley: You're disappointed.