#source: william charlton

[incorrectdwpquotes]

Emily: As a kid I would just sit in my closet.

Emily: …There’s probably several jokes to be made about that.

[theamityelf]

The twist is that they're married and this is both their kid.

Audrey: Excuse me. Why did you tell my son to stop doing what he was doing?

Uma: You see, we have a rule, and he’s not allowed to eat the legs of chairs, so…

Audrey: But why is that? Why is he not allowed to?

Uma: That’s a…Hm. You know, honestly I didn’t think this would go this far. I thought that you would come upon the scene of your child working his way through the second leg of a chair, and then assume that I was in the right for telling him to stop, but I can see now that you’re both insane.

[everything-here-is-incorrect]

void!Stiles: I’m gonna talk in riddles

Y/N:

Y/N: permission to treat the asshole as hostile 

Scott: permission granted

Y/N: I’m gonna shoot you in the face

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Warlock: Well, if it isn't Paladin...

Paladin: But it is me.

Warlock: No, it's an expression-

Paladin: Your evil tricks won't work on me!

[the-skull-breaker]

Miiko : how did you take down Ashkore... ?

Valkyon : we shot him in the legs, 'cause his shield is the size of a dinnerplate and he's an idiot.

[incorrect-beetlejuice]

Lydia: Beetlejuice, eat a snickers

Beetlejuice: Why?

Lydia: You aren’t you when you’re hungry

Beetlejuice: It’s gonna take more than that for my fat ass.

[incorrectsso]

Justin, in druid prison: Alex I’m not trying to bribe you, but would you like the other half of this cosmic brownie?

Alex, slamming her fist into the wall: This man goes free!

[theprodigypenguin]

Doflamingo, holding a harmonica: If you play it you get a hundred million berries, but a hundred million people will die.

Law: [aggressively plays the harmonica]

Corazon: Law NO!

[fairytail-incorrectquotes]

Lucy: Would you rather fight a group of kindergarteners, or-

Natsu: I wanna fight kindergarteners!

Lucy: No, see, that's not the whole-

Natsu: Those kids are getting slapped!

[incorrect-eah]

Cerise: we've run out of chocolate milk.

Ramona: And I've run out of patience.

Cerise: Okay cool but can you pick up some chocolate milk when you're out-

[incorrectstevesagaquotes]

Nightmare Steve, evil slow turn: Well, if it isn’t Rainbow Steve...

Rainbow Steve: But it is me.

Nightmare Steve: No, it’s an expression -

Rainbow Steve: Your evil tricks won’t work on me!

[unknowncrashingthroughthewindow]

Saeran: Well, well, well, if it isn’t Yoosung Kim.

Yoosung: But I am Yoosung Kim.

Saeran: What? No, it’s an expression——

Yoosung: Your villainous tricks won’t work on me!

[amphorographia]

Will: For a long time I thought I was depressed

Hannibal: oh?

Will: But it turns out I just really like dogs and when they leave I get sad

[everything-here-is-incorrect]

Y/N: well isn’t this the man with no nose

Voldemort:

Voldemort: I’m the Dark lord

Y/N:

Y/N: the man with no nose

[whaleiumsharkspeare]

*Varian’s trial that he likely didn’t get*

King Frederic: You have any uh, witnesses you’d like to call?

Lawyer: As a matter of fact, we’d like to call the raccoon to the stand

King Frederic: The what

Ruddiger: ASDFGHJKLGFSJUGKLHSSJ

[misty-vals]

Pete: Would you rather fight a bunch of little kids or-

Jimmy: I want to fight kids

Pete: That’s not even the whole-

Jimmy: Those kids are getting slapped!