#source: jane got a gun

[sharp-silver4795]

The Creepypasta’s Worst Injuries

I get some inspo from “HC Prompt” posts and that’s what I got going on rn!

⚠️DISCLAIMERS⚠️

BLOOD: Mentions of injuries (ofc), graphic details in some of them, and just blood. Weapons will be mentioned, including guns.

INJURY: the situation is explained and can be a lil uncomfortable- but idk. Severe injury or explicit imagery.

SOURCE: Some of these are product of self harm, betrayal, attempted murder, abuse, general assault, or common causes of death.

ALL SENSITIVE TOPICS WILL BE MARKED AHEAD OF IT!!!

Mild Mention > Detailed > Extreme Details > Sensitive Content

Proxy Behavior miscellaneous

Details of how the injury happened. Jumping, defenselessness, detail of scars and the origin of them. Extreme detail of how the injuries occurred, attempted murder, Marble Hornets Spoilers, ig? Car accidents/injuries

Wilson, Zechariah, Neon Spike, and Rogue will not be included. They’re too sheltered smh 🤦

Kat Hunter: he once got shot 7 times by a few police officers. The other proxies came to his rescue.

Kate the Chaser: once got cornered by Bloody Angel and Scarecrow. She ended up bloodied due to being scratched, hacked at, stabbed, and all sorts of things. The most prominent ones were on her face and thigh. Bloody Angel had kept grabbing her legs to keep her from getting away. Bloody Angel has claws. Scarecrow has gloves very similar to that of Rouge and clawed down Kate’s face. Kate’s face was exposed in the first place because she got hot and couldn’t breathe, so she was jumped basically.

Brian/Hoodie: Fell from a two story building… duh

Tim/Masky: got into a tussle with Alex…

Ticci Toby: Car accident. Even though he didn’t feel the physical pain.

Depression

graphic/horrific death, freak accidents, Self harm, attempted suicide, Religious stuff/demons, mourning

Nathan the Nobody: Masky rocked his shit.

BEN Drowned: accidentally electrocuted himself and couldn’t stop glitching and getting bent and twisted

Eyeless Jack: he dies by biting his own tail and literally exploding his organs-

Clockwork: she got skewered, but somehow survived.

Jeff, Jane, and Nina the Killer: burned alive ofc

Puppeteer: Liu wears a rosary to remember his mother…

Liu Woods: when he was alive, he used scissors to cut at his shoulders and chest. He cut at his arms, legs, and abdomen as well. He nearly bled out in his bathroom.

Zero: she stabbed herself with glass shards cuz she had a mental breakdown

Kagekao: purposely ran into oncoming traffic.

This is what happens when you mess with kids

severe injury/free amputation

Jason the Toymaker: kid ripped out a ton of his hair and made his head bleed

Laughing Jack: got his arms cut off somehow- they grew back tho

Laughing Jill: a parent hit her upside the head and her own chainsaw went through her chest and abdomen

Clumsy Bitches

Mutilation, stupidity , how the fuck did they survive this shit? segments of body being removed and explicit injury mention(?), Experiments, self inflicted injury

Ani the Wight: existing in summer heat

Chess Master: boinked his head, tripped, and landed on the grass… off of a 10m tall tree

Candy Pop: fell off a building. He’s clumsy.

Bloody Painter: he jumped off a building and landed safely, then stepped on a bear trap. How does that even happen?!

Bloody Angel: her whole thing is that she got mutelated into a monseter by a crazy circus… do the math.

X-Virus: while working on a project and it exploded in his face. So, he now has giant burn scars on his face, neck, and chest.

Judge Angels: Rouge kicked her ass and she has claw-like gloves. She ended up with scars on her face for a long while.

Scarecrow: Hoodie once cut her in half with a tree branch.

Doll Maker: Stabbed himself in the eye

Divider Creds: Sister Lucifer; adorneswithlight

Header Creds: ME!!!

[swordofmoonl1ght]

GIF PACK - in the SOURCE LINK you’ll find 80 gifs of JOEL EDGERTON in the Western JANE GOT A GUN (2015). Joel is white, Australian and of Dutch descent.

Edit as much as you like for your rp needs, but please give me credit even if you edit them into gif icons or anything else. Please like or reblog if you save or find these useful.

[respectthepetty]

Not a Review: Manner of Death - Manga Version

I got the manga versions of Manner of Death that were released in 2023, and y'all . . .

This is wild bananas! Bun has an older brother and ex-boyfriend in Bangkok even though he is in the closet and dating women as a cover. Tan is younger, has a sick mother, and he thought Jane died by suicide because she was sad he was gay. Bodies are dropping dead left and right until the very end. Sorn and That aren't even side crumbs because they are just a crumb, as in one single crumb and nothing else. Oh, and the inspector is married, to a woman.

Pretty sure it follows the novel closely, so congratulations to Screenwriter Title, who was also behind He's Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, Love Stage, and Low Frequency, for condensing the novel and making the series into a BL because looking at (a version of) the source material, Title really balanced this bad boy out for the show.

Combined, the two volumes are over 500 pages, which, once again, even though they aren't the original novel, probably are close to it, and there is constantly something happening on every single page. If this is how the novel was, trimming it down to a fourteen-episode series took skill. I loved Manner of Death, but people had issue with some of the plot holes in the series. However, compared to these versions of the original novel, the show is very focused and balanced.

These two volumes are enjoyable. I'm glad I have them to add to my small manga collection of BL favorites with Old Fashion Cupcake and Our Dining Table, but this journey is a lot. Seriously, Bun walks out to the balcony after having sex with Tan on the very last page since they got engaged in New York after reconciling two pages before, and a body falls from the sky. The End.

I know Tan proposed to Bun by pretending they were being taken hostage with guns pointed at their heads in the series, but . . . it wasn't a dead body jumping out of nowhere, you know?

Now I see how Dead Friend Forever aligns with Sammon's style, which is a non-ending ending where something ends, then starts again. That also happened in Make a Wish. And I ain't mad at it! It's just a lot, all at once, constantly. But it helps me appreciation the show more. I got two gay men who never felt bad about being gay and scoffed with the inspector even suggested they were straight. I got murder-mystery and romance. And I got a settled ending with Tan and Bun married.

Oh, and I got that kiss in the very beginning.

So this isn't a review. It's an appreciation post.

Because Manner of Death, the series, is solid.

[omniblades-and-stars]

WIP WEDNESDAY or some shit I dunno I'm not your real dad.

Bare feet thumped mutely on the decking behind them, moving at a sprint.

"Shepard!"

The Commander swung around, gun raised and finger carefully poised over the trigger. There was nothing.

"Did you guys hear that?" she asked Zaeed and Jack, searching back and forth across the space in the tight, modular laboratory set up in the corpse of a Reaper.

"Nothing but our boots, Shepard," the bounty hunter assured, but still carefully checked back in the direction they had been walking even as he said so. There wasn't enough space in front or behind for anything to get moving as fast as she'd heard.

"Didn't hear shit," Jack muttered with a shrug. "Can we get a move on? This place creeps me the fuck out."

"Yeah, let's keep moving," Jane replied and narrowed her eyes, checking behind them before taking point again and moving forward into the airlock that led into the greater, open area of the Reaper ship.

The ground shifted beneath their feet, nearly throwing them off balance and onto the floor. There was the unmistakable noise of a mass effect core cycling power. Jane would know it anywhere, and she had not imagined it.

"Normandy to shore party!" Joker hailed them over the comm.

"What's going on, Joker?" Jane asked through gritted teeth, regretting every choice she had ever made that led her here, to this moment. Standing inside of a dead Reaper that was clearly not dead enough.

"The Reaper's put up a kinetic barrier. I don't think we can get through from this side."

"Stuck on a fucking Reaper ship, Shepard?" Jack asked with barely contained disbelief.

Jane pinched the bridge of her nose and counted to three before resolving, "We'll turn it off from in here, this thing has to have an off switch somewhere. Right?" Please let it have an off switch.

"Don't leave."

Shepard twisted, searching for the source of the voice in her ear.

"At the moment of activation, I detected a heat spike in what is likely the wreck's mass effect core. Sending the coordinates now," EDI answered. "Be advised, this core is also maintaining the Reaper's altitude."

"Excellent. Just what I was hoping for. We hit the power button, we fall inside of a planet," Jane responded, exasperated and worried.

Joker cut in, "And that means everyone dies. Yeah, I got it."

Shepard motioned for Zaeed and Jack to ready up as she hit the button for the airlock door. "Joker, if you get us out of here, I'll throw you a party, the kind with strippers and lots of liquor." Perhaps if she joked, the scrape of fingernails at the back of her neck and the whispers in her ear wouldn't feel so real.

"You're the best, Commander."

"Shepard."

She led the trio into the belly of the beast. The angles inside the Reaper were wrong. There was so much space between the catwalk and the vaulted ceiling, and yet the slope of the walls gave her the impression that they were closing in on them. Long, enormous cables ran along almost every surface, and bright, white light shone out from the cavernous depths. Everything was tinged with a wrongness that set her teeth on edge. They walked in the mausoleum of a cruel and uncaring god, disturbing its rest.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Do you understand?"

Her head snapped to the side, "What did you say?"

"You're so tired. Don't leave."

"Shit, Shepard, no one's said anything. You doing okay?" Jack asked, her eyebrows raised high, not bothering to hide her concern.

Jane clenched her teeth tight enough that her jaw ached. They shouldn't be here. It was wrong. Shadows moved in the periphery of her vision and -

This time, the slap of bare feet on thin, grated metal was undeniable, real. Shepard spun on her heel and blew the screaming husk into a mess of shredded "skin" and that strange, unnatural fluid that was definitely not blood. "They're coming over the sides!" she shouted, pointing at human shapes, climbing in distinctly inhuman ways up and over safety rails.

"Aren't you tired of the fight, Shepard? Is submission not preferable to death?"

[kayssweetdreams]

The Perfect Finale Ch15

On Trisha Jane's mark, the Negabosses, while still extremely reluctant, began to make lots and LOTS of noise. This drew the attention of Yin, who still was waiting for Kaylo to read the map, unknowing that she had been able to HEAR the Wonderworld Map now, and has actually been playing dumb. The pink haired girl couldn't let Yin find out that she had found Wonderworld's power source, but she couldn't do much...especially with Yin breathing down her back.

Yin glared upwards. "Oh. We have GUESTS." He growled, grabbing what appeared to be a strange type of gun. "By the time I get back, you better have figured out how to read that map. OR ELSE." He threatened, glaring at Kaylo before making his way up to the upper levels of the crater. Kaylo swallowed a gulp, How could anyone know that she was here?...unless...

Meanwhile, With Yin...

The Banished Maestro stomped up the steps of the crater. He was so close. He was SO close to finding the source of Wonderworld's power, so close to completing Project X. And there was no way that some pathetic, nosy human would stand in his way-

He stopped for a moment. And focused on the sound. He suddenly began to Grin. He gave a Grin that would make a serial killer shiver. "Hehe...Well Well. I guess the Pink Haired Brat's pleading heart called my home. Might as well visit my old stomping grounds." He said, before launching himself up into the air.

Yin smiled. It's time to pay a visit to his old "Home"

Meanwhile, Back Outside...

The Negabosses were still making as much noise as they possibly could to draw out Yin. Although, they were all pretty terrified of this as well...and could you blame them? They were all about to be face to face with the same maestro that made all of Wonderworld miserable for everyone.

Fortie hid inside of Fortsepher, shivering as he himself held a chainsaw as protection should Yin try anything. "Fortie! We all have to be doing this! Get out of me!" Fortsepher shouted. "NO! I'm not crazy enough to go up against Yin!" The pawn shouted. "Fortie. We're gonna eventually have to face him...so there's no use in delaying the inevitable.

"Well...Look at it this way. Maybe all those years Banished from Wonderworld did a number on him, and maybe he won't have all of his-" a powerful blast of wind knocked them all back, causing them all to give screams of fear. When they landed and got their bearings back, they looked up in fear at the one who had caused it.

"Why Hello Negabosses...is that any way to greet a maestro?"

Trisha Jane belongs to @lovelyteng

[autisticsupervillain]

FTF: Isekai Invasion

The show where we take a character and drop them into a different franchise at a random location to see if they can conquer the world.

This Episode....

Mary Jane Watson invades Mount Massive Asylum!

Conditions:

Insomniac Games's Mary Jane

MJ as of Spider-Man 2 with all her associated equipment.

MJ will be replacing Miles Upshur in the plot of the original Outlast with all the same goals. If she can escape the Asylum alive with all the evidence needed to bring Murkoff to justice, that will count as a win.

MJ cannot call in the Spider-Men or anyone else for help.

Scenario:

The same set up as Outlast but with MJ replacing Miles Upshur. Mary Jane Watson, reporter for the Daily Bugle, gets an anonymous email from a burner account about the atrocities being committed by Murkoff at Mount Massive and goes in to investigate. MJ speculates that the building has a jammer when she mysteriously losses all signal after getting in range, but she pushes on regardless. It is only after MJ can no longer get out the way she came in that she realizes the building has been overrun, leaving her no choice but to push in deeper.

Invader: MJ

Mary Jane Watson. One of the most iconic damsels and love interests in comic book history. Though iconic for her role as damsel in distress in the Rami movies, Insomniac's Mary Jane is more in line with her comic counterpart. She's a freelance reporter capable of kicking as much ass as her superhuman boyfriend sometimes and she'll do anything to unbury the truth.

She's surprisingly an expert in stealth and infiltration. She's snuck into the compounds of crime lords like Tombstone and Hammerhead, snuck past the international mercenaries of Silver Sable and her men, and avoided capture by Kraven the Hunter's mercenaries. Using her boyfriend's Spider Lures as a distraction, she's even managed to break into the Oscorp undetected.

While writing a book on the country of Symkaria, MJ got some self defense training from Silver Sable herself, as well as a fancy new taser that can drop a goon in one shook. She later upgraded this taser gun with Peter's gadgets, allowing it to shoot webs and shoot sonic blasts loud enough to ward off a symbiote behemoth. With these tools, she's able to take down Kraven's hunters, who are strong enough to kick down steel doors with a single kick snd survive rpg rockets exploding in their face. These are the same rockets that usually explode with an energy equivalent to 650 kilojoules.

Source:

What's more, MJ is fast enough to dodge arrows from a hunter's crossbow, which csn travel up to 350 feet per second or 106.68 meters per second.

Source:

Honestly, Mary Jane Watson is kind of a badass. She's escaped from being captured by Kraven's hunters, fought her way through a symbiote hive, outrun a Symbiote controlled Spider-Man trying to kill her, and managed to fight off the control of the Scream Symbiote, with some help from Peter.

This MJ is a far cry from the damsel in distress she's stereotyped as and she's just as vital a member of Spider-Man's team as the Spider-Men themselves.

Invaded: Mount Massive

The Murkoff Corporation could never be said to have had a sterling reputation. The company had an unofficial history of human experimentation and exploitation. Never on American soil, of course. Never anywhere that the American public would actually care about. Not until they bought out Mount Massive Asylum.

Because if there's one group that Americans care about less than foreigners, it's the mentally ill.

Murkoff wanted to exploit the theories of the retired Nazi Dr. Wernicke by diving into dream theory. The enlisted him in their Morphogenic Engine program, hoping to summon, empower, and control the nanotechnological ghost known only as the Walrider. To this end, the experimented on the mentally ill, physically and psychologically torturing them. Turning the compatible into human engines so their nightmares could fuel the god they wished to enslave while leaving the incompatible to rot and die. Even loyal members of the company, like executive Richard Trager and Father Martin Archimbaud, were used as test subjects at the earliest convenience. The variants, as they were called, begain to mutate and deform. Tumors formed over their bodies, clogging their mouths and block their eyes. Their hair begain to fall out and they emancipated into borderline skeletons.

The variants pre-existing conditions worsened. At best, they became catatonic and unresponsive to the outside world. At worst, they became violent and murderous.

And then they found a subject fully compatible with the Walrider. Able to sustain it, control it, and survive as its host. Billy Hope. As soon as he was in control, all hell broke loose. The Variants broke out and happily took their revenge on their tormentors. Scientists and security alike were butched like pigs, heavily armed soldiers were impaled on pikes. And the Walrider was set free.

Notable Variants include the likes of Eddie Glusken, a misogynistic serial killer who was only made worse by the Morphogenic Engine. Granted superhuman strength by the treatments, he was now strong enough to lift a full grown man off the ground with one arm. "Doctor" Richard Trager was now strong enough to cut off limbs, decapitate his victims, and cut open the gates to the elevator with his giant scissors. And every varienty in the build was now strong enough to bash down doors and kill reporter Miles Upshur, who survived a massive explosion that blew him out a window. An explosion thst generated an energy equivalent to 11,840 kilojoules.

Source:

But the most dangerous Variant in the entire building was Chris Walker. Once a simple war veteran suffering from severe PTSD, Chis became a killing machine with an enhanced sense of smell, hearing, and sight that could let him track down his victims even in the dark. Obsessed with containing the threat of the Walrider, Chris's judo skills and military training make him a veritable beast, capable of easily ripping Miles's head clean off with one hand and bashing down reinforced steel doors.

But even he is still just a man next to the Walrider. A futuristic marvel of nanotechnology that feeds off the dreams of its host to survive, the Walrider can fly, go through walls, go through your pores and rip you apart from the inside, and is nigh-invisible to the naked eye, only complely visible on night vision cameras or during the day.

The only issue, however, is that the Walrider is completely submissive to the will of its perfect host, reliant on them to survive. And if its host is not perfect, as Miles Upshur turned out to be, they will be reduced to a walking corpse overtime by the possession.

Mount Massive Asylum represents one of the biggest atrocities committed in the name of corporate greed. A warcrime that even drew the digust of the Nazi forced to work on it. No one cares about "a building full of forgotten lunatics". Let it burn, I say.

Throwdown Breakdown:

The stats on this one are rather interesting. Miles Upshur is 11x more durable than the goons MJ can one-shot, meaning every single thug in the building is going to be strong enough to rip MJ apart if they get their hands on her, seeing how Miles is almost completely helpless against them.

But, none of the Variants have ever demonstrated superhuman speed, meaning they're absolutely never catching MJ, who can move fast enough to dodge subsonic projectiles. Sure, Chris Walker is fast, but MJ is faster than a speeding car. If he doesn't get the drop on her or corner her, he's not getting his hands on her.

Then there's MJ's other gadgets. Her sonic blasts will likely have no effect, as they're specifically designed to fight Symbiotes and ordinary humans are unaffected. At most, I could see them potentially stunning Chris Walker due to his advanced hearing. MJ's noise devices could be a good distraction, but her taser could likely be tanked due to how much stronger the Variants are. On the flipside, I don't see any of the varients breaking free of her webbing. This is the exact same webbing Peter regular uses to lift cars and restrain his supervillains. That's a bit out of the league of most Variants. Meaning she could probably skip Trager's whole segment by webbing him to the wall, which is admittedly funny.

This is compounded by MJ's far superior stealth. Walker might be a military veteran, but MJ's snuck past some of the best international mercenaries on the planet. It's no contest on that front, even with Chris's enhanced senses.

It's with the Walrider that this becomes tricky.

The Walrider isn't invisible or intangible in the same way, say, a ghost is. It's basically a cloud of microscopic nanites. It's difficult to spot and touch because it's a very thin cloud. For most people in most circumstances, it's difficult to spot until it's basically right in front of you, at which point it's too late to escape. This means that I'm pretty confident in it getting through MJ's webs, even if some of its components get stuck.

The issue is how damn fast MJ is. The second it appears in her face, she's gone halfway down the hall. It doesn't help that it prefers to throw its victims around before killing them, which would only give MJ the opportunity to escape.

I think the Walrider could easily end MJ's run if it got the drop on her. Which it very well could. It got the drop on Miles several times and he actually has the means to see it coming in less than optimal conditions, something MJ wouldn't without a night vision camera.

But, this is where MJ's superior stealth comes into play. With a sneaking ability far superior to Miles and a speed that the Walrider can't keep up with, MJ could avoid getting ambushed by the Walrider by never getting found by it in the first place.

There are plenty of scenarios where MJ gets ripped apart or, worse, possessed by the Walrider. But there are more where MJ uses her superior stealth and speed to avoid it long enough to complete her mission. And once she kills Billy Hope, whose sitting helpless in a tube at this point, the Walrider wouldn't be able to make her a new host to survive due to her just being too fast for it to catch.

Overall, I think Ms. Watson has all the skills she needs to get the scope she's after.

This Throwdown's Winner is...

Mary Jane Watson!

[theeverlastingshade]

Favorite Songs of 2023

100. Dust Bunny- Crumb

99. Fever- Yaeji

98. I Saw- Young Fathers

97. Steppa Pig- JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown

96. Retriever- Braids

95. Meant To Be- Wilco

94. Obscure- Jlin

93. Sparks- Cornelius

92. Prizefighter- Youth Lagoon

91. TV in the Gas Pump- Wednesday

90. Moonlight- Kali Uchis

89. Time Bandits- Angel Olsen

88. FLA- Empty Country

87. Satanist- boygenius

86. Tiny Garden- Jamila Woods ft. duentita

85. dazies- yeule

84. Club People- Alan Palomo

83. Out of Town- Hotline TNT

82. Don’t Let the Devil- Killer Mike ft. El-P & thankyougoodsir

81. Ms. America- Bully

80. Everybody (Source Codes)- Mach Hommy & Tha God Fahim

79. I Believe- Caroline Polachek

78. Swing (In a Dream)- Squid

77. Champagne Shit- Janelle Monáe

76. HEAVEN TO ME- Tyler, the Creator

75. Rosa Rugosa- Olof Dreijer

74. It Must Change- Anohni and the Johnsons

73. Dangle from the smoke ring- draag me

72. moonworld- Full Body 2

71. Town Crank- Clark

70. Imagination- Parannoul

69. Freak- feeble little horse

68. Mount Meigs- Lonnie Holley

67. This Stupid World- Yo La Tengo

66. Bloom- Blue Lake

65. Rats Come To Play- Bruiser and Bicycle

64. Flimsier- King Krule

63. skin meadow- Home Is Where

62. Sun Girl- Julia Holter

61. Aurora- Infant Island

60. THE GOV’T GAVE US GUNS- ICECOLDBISHOP

59. Everlasting Days- John Cale ft. Animal Collective

58. King- Chat Pile

57. Another One Another- Drop Nineteens

56. Rabbit- Youth Lagoon

55. Goodbye Evergreens- Sufjan Stevens

54. the CIA- glass beach

53. True Life- Water From Your Eyes

52. I Thought You’d Change- Hotline TNT

51. Say It Like You Mean It- Sleater-Kinney

50. Divers- Model/Actriz

49. Peach Fuzz- Mandy, Indiana

48. Wall of Eyes- The Smile

47. Laura- M83

46. Uncertainty Principle- L’Rain

45. Rudolph- MJ Lenderman

44. Fling- Jane Remover

43. D.A.R.E.- ICECOLDBISHOP

42. Paces- feeble little horse

41. Babylon By Bus- billy woods & Kenny Segal ft. ShrapKnel

40. Defeat- Animal Collective

39. Arrival- Parannoul

38. Changing Channels- Pangae

37. Turkey Vultures- Wednesday

36. Freak Me Now- Jessie Ware

35. The Blades- Squid

34. Suspended- Sampha

33. blue trio- Full Body 2

32. Dustine- Empty Country

31. Wespennest- DJ Koze

30. I Got Heaven- Mannequin Pussy

29. Making the Band (Danity Kane)- Earl Sweatshirt

28. Younger & Dumber- Indigo de Souza

27. Contact- Kelela

26. everyday feels like 9/11- Home Is Where

25. New Utensils- Fever Ray

24. borealis dancing- Jaimie Branch

23. I Can't Hush- Lonnie Holley ft. Jeff Parker

22. Three Drums- Four Tet

21. STUNTMAN- Tyler, the Creator ft. Vince Staples

20. We Thought the Sky- Bruiser and Bicycle

19. Pinking Shears- Mandy, Indiana

18. Year Zero- billy woods & Kenny Segal ft. Danny Brown

17. Unbreak My Love- Nourished By Time

16. Vampire Empire- Big Thief

15. Sleepless- Model/Actriz

14. Bath County- Wednesday

13. Blossom- Parannoul

12. Shit Talk- Sufjan Stevens

11. Bending Hectic- The Smile

10. N/Y- The Haxan Cloak

9. Raven- Kelela

8. Sinatra Drive Breakdown- Yo La Tengo

7. Barley- Water From Your Eyes

6. We Shine at Night- Parannoul

5. Kandy- Fever Ray

4. Lips- Jane Remover

3. floral organs- Home Is Where

2. Quarry- Wednesday

1. Pocket- feeble little horse

[shhisp]

1.I read your hc about Alpha Kids education and I wonder how much of Grandma English not telling Jake about HIC was because she thought she still had more time. Like he was still very little when she died. But at the same time for me it makes Jake look very sharp that he managed to survive on that island. Buuut yeah, he wouldn't survive normal school (mood).

2. Im really curious if you have hc about Jake relationship with Jade? I'm still sad that them being penpals and clearly friends for years was ignored in Homestuck. They build murderbunny together! Best bonding time ever. Plus I bet that Dirk was veeeeeery jealous that Jake build a ROBOT with SOMEONE ELSE for SOMEONE ELSE.

1. I do think she told him ENOUGH about HIC that, like, he got a helping of generational trauma from both Condy and LE which I love because angst. I do think she would've told him more, though, when he was... you know, older. But I can just as easily see her not going into true graphic detail about the stuff she used to experience. You have Jake remembering vividly about her mother killing her dog, but she told of a more "fantastical" tale despite that detail, curiously enough. Jade has so much she just builds up inside of her that I don't think she'd ever say enough to make Jake feel as truly devastated as she knew he probably would. I imagine she told him about Bec first and foremost, which had Jake spiraling, the poor boy. She tried to tell him what she could without breaking his heart ):

2. I could probably talk about Jade and Jake and their relationship together for fucking ages and all the different dynamics, because imo there's an infinite amount of ways I handle them in my head! In which case I'll probably go into my favorite platonic dynamic for them post-game, which I've done a LOT of thinking over since 2017.

Platonic route aside I love Dirk being jealous of Jade anyway. Jake clearly went to his grandma first and foremost as his main source of comfort after such a traumatizing game and a messy breakup with a hint of sexual assault to boot, and this is more or less Hussie-confirmed! In the epilogues, out of all the direct pairs (John and Jane, Dave and Dirk, Rose and Roxy), Jade and Jake seem to be the absolute closest with each other! And the umm. Well the whole Harlenglish annual orgy thing which is....... MOVING ON!

I think she always ends up seeing him as more of her grandson than she does her grandpa, especially since they know each other as kids and all! Jake, though, just naturally seems to fit into the role of soft submissive boy raised by an awesome woman trope. He greatly idolizes her, just like he canonically does John, who I imagine he saw as more of a "Poppop" than Jane did, seeing as everything Jade told him about dear old John! It's honestly so adorable I could cry! Jake loves his family to bits and pieces and it's so... SO very wholesome.

I have my own ideas about how John would see Dirkjake working out ("EB: how can a black eye be consensual??") but Jade I think definitely Gets It more than anyone. That being said she is so horribly hard on Dirk anyway. That's her baby boy her grandpa her grandson her BROTHER!!! and she will aim a gun at him if he does something fucking stupid (and he does that a lot, I think.) Dirk however respects her to hell and back and he's like. Alright. If my boyfriend's grandma tells me to kill myself I'm gonna respect her wishes, because she's right. A lot of mutual respect remains between them all the same, imo, especially when their main goal is to just see Jake happy. I love them getting closer and starting to talk about their shared interests more than life itself as the years go by.

The conversation when he calls Jade about wanting to get out of his relationship in the candy route is one of my favorite parts between them and says sooooooo much, even if we didn't get it in canon Homestuck proper. He trusts her more than even Roxy, at that point, and that personally says so much to me. Ugh I love them. Even when they're only cousins in some AUs I make, they're always two peas in a pod that almost always share the same bed when they can.

I have some other ideas of course that would be better suited for another post, and some particular details for Grandpa and Jade and Grandma and Jake (likewise, very specific circumstances) but this is how I like to write their relationship in almost every regard. Jane doesn't strike me as very protective at all, much as I love her, but Jade and Jake will defend each other to the ends of the Earth. Jake basically threatened Dave in candy for not giving her a child, imagine if he BROKE HER HEART!!!

Harlenglishes 4ever. I would do anything for more content of them together. 😭

[owltypical]

i've been grumbling about the branagh poirot movies a fair amount lately, and honestly i keep thinking about it in connection to that recent post about how differently and cynically movies are made these days, and how it all comes down to my big gripe that i've actually had for a long time now, about how modern media just doesn't trust the audience with adaptations of old books

it can't just be conversations and quiet thoughtful moments and characters acting like normal-ass people, there has to be ramped-up violence, gun fights, dramatic action, explosions, you gotta spice it up, and be sure to dumb down/minimize the dialogue

you can't have a full cast of characters of all kinds and let them be established and breathe, you have to get rid of a bunch or just combine them into fewer characters, and be sure to make them secret super criminals or turn them into something that has nothing to do with the source material at all, and make sure they've all been cast with generically attractive actors within a certain age range

like i remember a few years back trying to watch an adaptation of the bronte novel the tenant of wildfell hall because i'd liked the book a lot, and when it got to a part that had been relatively mild when written, suddenly it was a big violent fight sequence with intense dramatic music and was so wildly out-of-character and offbase that i immediately stopped watching

i have a strong fondness for the 2006 jane eyre miniseries, because the lead characters are so well-cast with good chemistry, but whenever i've gone back to watch it i actually just skip most of it to just get to certain scenes because there's so much that's just absurd and over-the-top and out of place

sometimes adaptations improve on books, sometimes greatly, but it's so tiresome to read something and then watch or look up info on the adaptation, and see how it's almost nothing like the source, it got changed around to something almost completely different because poirot needs a tragic origin story and a love interest and to stand in front of explosions, elizabeth and mr. darcy have to have an extended hot sexy half-naked makeout at the end of the movie so you can know they're truly in love, mr. markham has to scream and beat the shit out of a dude for the drama, even a bunch of poirot and marple tv episode adaptions i've looked up change things to an absurd degree and make it flashier and more intense

i think that's why knives out was so refreshing when it came out, it's just a fucked up family in a house and an eccentric detective, it has tense moments and confrontations but nothing super outrageous, it's going for an old school character-based whodunnit vibe and it nails it far, far more successfully than anything branagh's ever done with his own ostensible period pieces

glass onion is definitely a lot more absurd and even has a big explosion, but at least that absurdity is established as a very particular brand of modern absurdity with particular modern subject matter, and large chunks of the movie are still thoughtful and well-plotted and just feature a bunch of people in a house, or sitting and talking and having very interesting conversations

all this rambling to say: please trust the audience more, it's okay for something to be relatively quiet and character-focused, let things breathe, let things be expansive, give the audience room to think and take things in, inspire the audience to consume media more thoughtfully and with more literacy, you don't have to distract them every five minutes with an explosion or a tiddy

[st-theskaterdude-blog]

Thanks for the answer.

Trista is great. I'm always super excited to see more Black mutants get page time that isn't just Storm or Bishop when people aren't using him as a Cable stand-in.

Ewing is an Associate Professor in the Department of Race, Diaspora, and Indigeneity, so I don't have the usual worries about characters not feeling Black, for lack of a better term. I think my best example is how Bendis likes creating Black characters, but then it takes several more writers to make them feel like Black teens in America (maybe my problem is just with Bendis).

I liked Trista’s back-and-forth with Kitty—it was great. She really feels Gen Z in a way that other young X-characters should, technically, due to the sliding time scale, but don't. Ewing wrote for Champions, so I'm not too worried about the young cast in this, and I'm excited to meet Melee in issue #2.

I will say that her grandma's voice feels exactly like an older woman in my family because I've had that conversation, and it's great that she's supportive of her. In NYX Ms. Marvel, Kamala gets verbally accosted by a guy for being a mutant, and there's a woman in a hijab on his side. In a Cerebrocast episode, one of the writers commented that this was intentional, showing how that intersectionality can really alienate minorities from their own communities.

For Uncanny, my favorite is probably Calico. Some of my favorite characters in media are the "pretty rich girl with problems," and that's what I got here. Leaning into the mutant metaphor a bit, it reads very much like internalized homophobia. Her power is like Psylocke mixed with Ghost Rider and a dash of Jane Foster Valkyrie. She hangs out with mutants, and at the very least, Ransom cares about her safety, but she will look you dead in the eye and say she isn't a mutant.

Visually, she is probably the first or second most distinct of the group, being one of the few X-characters with an animal companion. I've found all the jokes about the horse actually being a mutant kind of funny.

I know the "dirty goblin" line seems weird, but I think that's just how she relates to all of this. Her powers turn her into a literal flaming paladin, so her parents had her process everything through fantasy terms. Like, if you insert "devils" instead of "goblins," she just sounds like a religious bigot.

I would be more into Deathdream if his name wasn't Deathdream, but I don’t think there’s a mutant character with manipulation of the dead, so I could see him being used in the future beyond this book—or killed off, with no in-between. Some have said he’ll stick around in some way because his powers make him undead, but a writer can always find a way. First Class Darwin taught me that.

I'm not too interested in Jitter, but Ransom having a black hole in his heart has me curious, and I want to know the application of that. It’s similar to Chamber and Xorn, but they have ways of expressing their mutations outside the body. He was just fighting hand-to-hand, so I think it’s just a power source in a Kirby and Maggot-like way. I do wonder if Simone is going to blow his chest open later in this run. To me, it seems like a Chekhov's gun—it has me asking the most questions and tickling the sci-fi part of my brain. He seems to fit the "cool guy" archetype, so I hope we get some more depth.

I'll definitely agree that their introduction isn't as strong as Trista, with them asking for help and Wolverine being an asshole. I chose to let the Eye of Agamotto thing go, hoping it comes back around, but Logan seems to be the least favorite part of this book so far. I haven't read his solo yet, so maybe that's better.

I wish the output of Exceptional matched Mckay's and Simone's stuff.

And I really love your page.

Do you have any thoughts about the new mutant kids from both exceptional and Uncanny?

Hey!

I loved Trista from Exceptional. They're likeable, vulnerable, really personable, kind but willing to push back against some pretty fucked up oppression. You only get one shot at a first impression and the moment a young mutant 'manifests' is a classic for a reason. It's tough to get all that across when a character is going through something terrifying and traumatic, but I think Ewing pulled it off well.

We get to meet their grandmother briefly who's super cool, and I found it endearing that they reached for friendship with Kitty. I'm not the right person to break down the race/mutant dichotomy there, but it shouldn't surprise that they look for allies and strengths in response to such an incident. I have a feeling we're going to see more of them and I'm eager. We've seen so many new mutants come and go without sticking around and it's one of the few sources of lasting change Marvel has.

Definitely a sweet and character establishing sequence.

As for the kids in Uncanny, we don't really get to know them very well. There's four of them (except one is not a mutant and says multiple racist/weird things) and the fight is super contrived IMO. It's like woo here's these kids, and we're fighting them for some reason, and they're winning for some reason, then they're not. It showed us they can throw hands which is cool, but I couldn't tell you their names or powers without looking them up and I've read that book double digit times to review it.

Dirty goblins, WTF? The goth kid is great though. I'm a sucker for weird goths that say odd shit and have gnarly powers. Not sure what those powers are, but the army of dead folks behind them are a hint as to what a 'Cyanide Dream' is. Could they be this Endling (last of their kind) people keep talking about? Maybe.

Super weird that two separate children have yelled that Rogue is hot in both issue 1 and 2 of Uncanny. I don't really get it tbh. For that matter, Rogue keeps talking about sex at odd moments.

Here's where we meet them properly. Deathdream sticks out again for me, simply because they're not talking like you'd expect them to. They could be just a goth kid who says fucked up stuff, or they could have wild death powers. Likely both. Them stinking of death is interesting, and I flipping the question back on 'Logan of the Trees' in Japanese (that they know he understands)was slick. Not sure I trust them but I want to know more.

Jitter didn't make much of an impression yet, and Ransom would be the same except for the 'Brotherhood' comment. (I swear that better not be about the Alaskan X-Men.) Calico... I'm not sure. I need to see more tbh. As a group I'm curious and see potential, and I'd like to see where this goes both narratively and characterisation-wise. 50/50 they're not what they seem, and I wonder what 'voice' directed them here. Xavier?

Thanks for the ask! What did you think of them?

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

jake, frantically pointing a gun: Please dont lie to me jane.

jake: I know about your cooking. 

jake: TAKE OFF THE HAT.

jane, calmly slicing a carrot: Jake, you are hallucinating. 

jake: THERES A RAT

jane, who definitely has a rat on her head: And if you are wrong?

[hannahhook7744]

Isle kid Moodboards revamped part 2;

Marya Grigorievna Rasputin, the 20 year old daughter of Grigori Efimovic Rasputin and Baba Yaga (bartok the magnificent).

One of the medics of Harriet Hook's crew.

Lover of skeletons, magic, taxidermy, bugs, roses, and whiskey cake.

Not too great st speaking English.

Bestfriend of Big Murphy and Claudine Frollo.

Currently single.

Reza Vizer, the 15 year old son of the former Royal Astronomer of Agrabah and a harem girl as well as the adoptive son of Mozenrath and Sadira. Older brother of Omar and Alya.

He is the forensics expert of the Badun Detective Agency and is rivals with Carlos De Vil as well as a student at Dragon Hall.

He's good with swords, daggers, guns, tea, and breaking and entering, and He always acts like he is the smartest in the room (which he is most of the time) and doesn't like it when that title is challenged because he has earned that title.

He also doesn't like it when people treat him like he's less than Carlos, which is why he didn't join the Anti-heroes club (because it was being run by Yen Sid who is not found of him at all).

He is dating Yzla Sorcerer of Enchancia.

Claudine Esther-May Frollo, the 19 year old daughter of Claude Frollo.

She is homeschooled and apart of Harriet's crew, the Bad Apples, and the Anti-heroes club. She is also the bell ringer at Dragon Hall.

She is left handed and a redhead who loves science, art, music, sweets, and things being fair. Which of course while paired with her beauty did not bode well for her due to how her father is.

She works at her father's crepes shop and is dreaming of the day she can escape with her friends.

She has a thing for Lefou Deux.

Richard 'Rick' Perseus Ratcliffe, the 21 year old son of Governor John Ratcliffe.

He is apart of Harriet's crew, The LeGume Hunting Club, and The Bad Apples.

He and his dad do not get along at all due to many factors—like his dad being racist and naming him after his dog. If anyone dare mention the origin of his middle name, they will get a black eye from him.

He had his own pug named Prometheus.

Once when he and Clay Clayton were young and rough housing, he accidentally knocked the other man out of a second story window at Hook's inlet. They're still friends though, surprisingly.

He also has a habit of saving people from water sources like John Smith, much to his father's annoyance.

He has two younger siblings (Rachel and Rory) and is very protective of them as well as the kids of his father's former crewmates who got stuck on the isle with him.

He is dating Mad Maddy.

Claymore 'Clay' Comrade Clayton, The 20 year old son of William Clayton.

He is a member of the Bad Apples, Harriet's crew, and The LeGume Hunting Club.

Though unlike his dad he doesn't enjoy poaching or being crueler than necessary when hunting because it makes him uncomfortable, so he avoids doing it.

He loves graffiti and sailing and the jungle as well as tree climbing, rope swinging—on vines—, and partying. He also likes carving his intails into things and rough housing.

Especially with Rick and Anthony.

He and Rick once overdid it and he ended up getting thrown through a window, which no one has let them live down since.

He and his dad have a volatile relationship, which is arguably better than what most kids on the isle have, though those in Auardon would argue that that's still bad. He gets along alot better with his aunt and brothers though and has no clue who his mother maybe.

He has no problem with speaking his mind, which gets him in trouble often. He has tons of weapons as well as a stuffed grollia and would get along swimmingly with Tarzan and Jane, and their family. Especially their son, Taylor, who is just as rambunctious as he is.

He doesn't have the best grades but he's a good person and arguably Ginny's conscious, and that's all that matters, right?

Also he's terrified of getting hung like his dad and the idea of drowning again.

He's protective of his younger brothers, Cassius and Wilson, and is dating Ginny Gothel.

Jadeana 'Jade' of Agrabah, the 19 year old daughter of Nasira and the niece of Jafar.

She is in Harriet's crew and is the messenger of the isle, so no one really messes with her.

She's a bit of a loner but when she cares about people, she cares about them deeply—i.e. Jay. She'd help him steal so he could stock Jafar's shop quicker and so he would get hit or have to sleep outside. She rarely ever goes near Jafar's shop—since her mom who isn't all bad strictly forbade it—but when she does, it's to see Jay.

She was heartbroken when Jay left without saying goodbye but slowly over time she's gotten angry and bitter and resentful because she thinks he forgot about her.

She likes crocodile wrestling since it's an easy way to get out her aggression and she has two pets—a snake named Hassan and a parrot named Tygo.

She has magic but goes to Dragon Hall because she thinks the witch school is pointless on the isle.

Oh and she's dating Jonas Olympian (a member of Uma's crew).

Hermione 'Hermie' Leona Bing, the 14 year old daughter of The Ringmaster and Miss Atlantis.

She is a member of the Badun Detective Agency and as well as the Anti-heroes club.

She was an orphan by 7 and left to run what was left of her father’s circus on the isle.

She lives by herself with her animals in her father’s old trailer by the woods where the circus tents and trailers are located.

She is known as an animal whisperer and a Jack of all trades on the isle because she can do nearly every circus act there is.

She obsessed with circus related things—ESPECIALLY clowns.

She is in denial about the true nature of her parents' deaths and is emotionally and mentally unstable due them.

She has quite a sweet tooth—especially when it's traditionally considered circus food.

She collects glass figures as well as odd/deformed furniture, toys, and photos (along with just vintage photos in general) and loves colorful things.

She also loves reading, filing, painting, dagger throwing, acrobatics, gymnastics, dancing, playing games, and taking care of animals.

Her and Eddie Balthazar are dating.

Edmund 'Eddie' Seraiah Balthazar, the 15 year old son of Sarah Dear /Aunt Sarah and Edgar Balthazar.

He is apart of the Anti-heroes club and the Badun Detective agency.

He has alot of old school hobbies like croquet and crochet, golf, birdwatching, and collecting things. Things like stamps, coins, and bugs. He likes reading and listening to music and writing and he loves picnics, sewing, and knitting.

He had a litter of kittens that he adores as well as a motorcycle.

He also likes red wine, coffee, tea, champagne, slushie, hard candy, chicken pot pie, cigar, and toast with beans. Not that his parents know that he likes alcohol.

He usually shows little more than indifference to those outside his inner circle and has been taking care of his elderly parents (and their pets) since he was 9.

He is dating Hermie Bing.

Gaston Junior and Gaston the 3rd LeGume, the 21 year old sons of Gaston LeGume and Laurette. Aka Junior and Bronze.

They are hard heads lacking in education because of their father and can hold one hell of a grudge (as well as an ox) but have hearts of gold. When it comes to the people they care about that is.

They are both members of Harriet's crew and have many shared (and differing) hobbies.

They are very protective of their little brother (and sister) and their little cousins, even if they love getting under their skin at times.

Junior is dating Daphne Tremaine and Bronze is dating Sammy Smee.

Also Junior has a bad leg from trying to ram through the barrier with his dad.

Gemma Enchtra LeGume, the 3 year old (by d3) daughter of Gaston and the Enchantress. She is the younger half sister of the Gaston twins and Gil as well as the younger cousin of LeFou Deux, Claire Bimbette, and La Foux Doux (by default).

She is every bit as good, innocent, and bubbly as Gil is. She loves Magic, fruit, candy, roses, lifting rocks, animals, the forest, mirrors, and adores her older siblings and cousins with all her heart. She also loves her parents too despite not knowing them all too well.

Oh and she likes weight-lifting, though her elder family members don't allow her to do it.

And she loves mirrors as well and carries around the doll that her brothers and LeFou Deux made her.

She is my oc based on the toddler from d1.

[genieofthebooks]

Incorrect quotes Ft. Mercy and Talia

Jane/Penny will just be called Jane as it is slightly easier for this.

(Gus as Mischa, I just couldn't find a group photo with everyone together)

Ricky: The floor is lava

Ocean: *Helps Constance on the table*

Mercy: *Kicks Mischa off the sofa

Jane: *Lies on the floor*

Ricky: Are you okay?

Jane: No

__

Ocean: Look from the outside it seems like I am holding it all together.

Noel: No it doesn't

__

Mercy: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Talia: Mercy no.

Mischa: Mistlefoe.

Talia: Please stop encouraging her.

__

Mercy: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Talia: How am I supposed to know?

Mischa: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Talia: *sighs*

Talia: You wouldn't be trapped.

__

Ocean: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Mischa: I'm a knife.

Talia, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

__

Jane: Mercy and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Ricky: *Sighing* What did Mercy do?

Jane: She chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Mercy: Who wants a steering wheel?

__

Mercy: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Jane : In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Ricky?

Ricky: Probably “road work ahead”.

Talia: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

__

Mercy: Rules are made to be broken.

Ocean : They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Ricky: Uh, piñatas.

Constance: Glow sticks.

Mischa: Karate boards.

Noel: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Mercy: Rules.

Ocean:

__

Mercy, walking into her, Jane and Ricky's house house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Ocean : Hey.

Noel: Hi.

Constance: Hello.

Mischa: Hey!

Mercy: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Noel: We were out of Doritos.

__

Mercy, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

__

Store Worker: Would a Ms Mercy Bachinski please come to the front desk?

Mercy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Mischa and Noel

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Mischa and Noel, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Mercy: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

[ltwilliammowett]

The end of Blackbeard and the fate of Lieutenant Maynard

In November 1718, the pirate Edward Teach also known as Blackbeard was operating from a base on Ocracoke Island, in North Carolina’s Outer Banks. Governor Spotswood of Virginia sent a small naval expedition to deal with him, led by Lieutenant Robert Maynard of the Royal Navy, who commanded 50 sailors in two hired sloops. Maynard lauchned his attack at dawn on 22 November. Blackbeard had just 25 men on board of his sloop Adventure , but she was armed with 8 guns. Maynard’s sloops, formally merchant sloops the Jane and the Ranger had no guns just small arms ( just for these event they got the prefix HMS) and were crewed by 56 well armed and well trained sailors from HMS’s Pearl and Lyme. As the sloops approached the Adventure they were both raked by gunfire, which killed several sailors, and forced the Jane to drop out of the fray. Blackbeard taunted his enemies, and he must have been convinced he could defeat Maynard.  However, by the time the two ships collied Maynard had hidden most of his men below decks. They surged up out the hold, taking the pirates by surprise.

Capture of the Pirate, Blackbeard, 1718 depicting the battle between Blackbeard the Pirate and Lieutenant Maynard in Ocracoke Bay, by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris 1920 (x) 

What happened then, however, is still the stuff of myths and legends, and the sources are also at odds about this. But one thing they all say is that Maynard and Blackbeard got into a duel, which is said to have been very furious. Maynard is said to have injured Blackbeard several times, including shooting him twice. Now some sources say that Maynard himself was a very good fighter and hit Blackbeard in the back so hard that the blow killed him. Others say that Blackbeard was about to deliver the final blow to Maynard when a Sailor attacked him from behind, hit his back and then cut his throat.

Blackbeards Death (x)

But so hard that the head fell off. Other sources believe that it was Maynard who cut off Blackbeard's head to demoralise his pirates and force them to surrender. Others, such as his supposed letter to his sister, say only that he cut the head, but not why. Maynard himself, after examining the body, was said to have found that blackbeard had been shot 5 times and stabbed 20 times before he finally died. He then disposed of the body overboard before hanging his head on the bowsprit. 

April 25 1719 Weekly Journal and Saturday Evening's Post - alleged Maynard letter published Capt. Charles Johnson,the controversial author of A General History of the Pyrates

In the end, Blackbeard was dead and the Lieutenant a celebrated hero. You would think so, but it wasn't so. On the contrary, Maynard disappeared very quickly and was neither promoted nor celebrated. The question is why. Because Maynard should have been promoted for this extremely heroic act. But he was not made captain until 1740, when he was already 56 just 10 years before his death. There are several theories, one being that Governor Spotswood did not have the authority to call out the Royal Navy. Therefore, the act of killing Blackbeard would have been illegal and there would have been disputes over the booty that Maynard took.

Memorial Plaque to Capt. Robert Maynard (x)

For he captured goods from the Adventure and sold them. The governor took part of the money to cover his expenses for this action and another part ( around £ 1400) is said to have gone into Maynard's own pocket. An unexplained sum of £ 2000 which he stated in his will is supposed to speak for this. Now this is no proof, it could be that he had come to this sum otherwise. However, he had a legal dispute with the Admiralty that lasted for years, unfortunately there is no mention of what it was about.

However, since the booty automatically belong to the king and the crew received a prize money from such actions, Maynard had stolen from the king. Normally, if he had done so, he would have been thrown out of the Navy and punished. However, there are speculations that he was protected by his family, who had a high level of influence. This is not conclusive, but it would be a possible explanation for his faltering career.

If you want to read more, I recommend Murder at Ocracoke! by Baylus C. Brooks.

[avatarvyakara]

Strands of Webbing

A Spiderverse Fanfic

Prompts 253-264

“Not Sidekicks”

First | Previous | Next

253. Mentor

The Original Six—the Spider Gang—the Cluster—the Veterans—they have many names. But what they also are, is a rallying symbol. In a cosmos where the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider is so often alone, they're the ones who get it.

Most of the time, they're also the first to find someone new. Someone like them.

And there's always room to learn something new.

254. Nephew

"This is Charles!" says Ham, proudly showing off the tiny spider in his hand. "My great-niece Nelly's kid, she left him to me in her will."

Miles and the other Spiders exchange glances.

"Um…"

SP//dr's face produces an "it's-so-cute!" emoticon, and the robot waves gently.

Charles extends one leg and wiggles it up and down.

"Well done, Charles! The nice lady's name is Takara. Can you say 'Takara'?"

Apparent silence.

"That's neither here nor there, kid."

"What was that?" asks Peter, who quite frankly looks exhausted already.

"It's a spider thing. Now, you guys got any mashed bedbugs?"

"Not in this house, we don't," says Aunt May sternly.

But Ham isn't paying attention. He's turned back to his nephew and is tickling under his thorax. "You're gonna be the best superhero ever! Yes you are! All we need to do is find someone to bite you…"

SP//dr raises its hand.

“Nah, nah, it’s gotta be something different. Something unique...”

?_?

“Not that you’re not unique!”

255. Simian

The first and only time Peter tries to make money in a wrestling match, it's a terrible mistake. The man's gotta be pushing sixty and he's literally got a god on his side, how is he losing?

"Come on, you little masked menace!" calls Crusher Hogan from below. "You gonna get your hands dirty, or are you just gonna sit on that pole jumping around instead of fighting like a man?"

Figures he'd have to go for a "shooter", which apparently means "someone who doesn't fake matches and therefore knows exactly how to hit where it hurts". And here he thought it meant he could use his guns...

Odd, though. He's glowing. His costume is literally glowing Red.

(The Spider-God wouldn't give him the Red unless there was a good reason.)

"Why don't you come up and fight like a spider?" he asks, letting the colour sink into his words.

The old Black man stares up at him for a moment—

And grins.

Uh oh.

"Nah," says Crusher. "How about I fight like a monkey instead?"

The light around the ring turns Blue.

"Oh, son of a—"

POW.

The man just jumped eight feet like it was nothing, grabbed him, and tugged him down into a chokehold.

"Language, son," he says, mildly reproachful. "There are impressionable youths in this place."

Peter loses as gracefully as he can, to the sound of cheering from the (quite young) crowd.

That night, the Spider-Man stops by the arena to see the Monkey King.

“What’s that colour you got around you, son?” asks the surprisingly hirsute hero—more than he was before, anyway. He’s using a long, featureless iron pole as a walking stick. (Definitely for show.)

“It’s red.”

“I wondered. Never seen red before. Mine is blue.”

“I know.”

The Monkey King grins. “That sounds like a tale, young’un. You got time to swap?”

“Maybe. If you can tell me what you’re supposed to be doing with that power.”

“Hah! Nothing too special. Have fun. Keep my family safe. Take what I want from the Man. Help people out on quests. That kinda junk. Wrestling helps pass the time and keeps the neighbourhood kids out of trouble.”

“How often do you get quests?”

“You would be amazed. You good with tea?”

“Much obliged, Mr. Hogan.”

“Call me Crusher. Or Sun, if you want. That’s his name, but he don’t mind my using it. That or The King.”

Now Peter grins. “Guess you’d better shut my mouth and call me Anansi Boy.”

The King of Brooklyn roars with laughter.

256. Uneasy

As far as Mary-Jane Watson is concerned, Carnage is a Symbiote, a remnant of her best friend Steff “Stay” See (who was once the Red Spider and didn’t tell her until it was too late) and the source of Mary-Jane’s powers. It's a way to feel closer to her lost companion, and an ally in protecting her version of New York.

As far as Carnage is concerned, Mary-Jane is a legacy, a comrade mourning their lost friend. And for a while the resentment and guilt battled each other, and so Carnage and Mary-Jane had to make a decision as to which they would follow. But one thing is for certain: whatever darkness lies within Mary-Jane, it is far more manageable than Knull was.

Both of them assume they’re in control. Both of them are right.

(Both of them also agree that, whether Flash Thompson or Venom is in control, the individual on the whole is a bit of a prat.)

257. Duality

Most of the stuff Hida knows about, Peni has as much connection with as Billy has with Peredur’s time, and vice versa. (“No, it’s not magic, you daft brush, it’s not even a particularly good record, the Beatles really went downhill since they brought in Ringo Starr—”) So there’s a cultural impasse. Noir, on the other hand, while much closer in terms of tech level and linked to a spider-spirit directly like Hida is, knows basically no Japanese at all, and what little he knows is from Peni’s time. So there’s a linguistic impasse.

They work on it, together. They both seem quite happy to. Peni learns more about her mother’s ancestral culture, Noir learns his friend’s native language to the degree he can actually manage simple conversations.

And Hida gets better at web-slinging, and her English is pretty good after a year of learning, and they get a chance to work on water combat so she can move better in her home environment. (Well. Swim in a lake uptown. But still, water combat.)

“So...is it like adoption? Did Peni and Noir agree to joint custody of Peni’s mom or something?” asks Miles from the side of a building in Peter B.’s world, to some very weird looks. “What?”

“Think about that sentence for a moment,” says Peter.

“...oh. Oh, urgh, dude, no. Not like that!”

Gwen snickers.

“But I get what you mean,” says Peter. They’re like a brother-sister team-up.”

“Taking care of Peni’s mom. Who is also a demon spider in human form.”

“That would explain so much...” muses Miguel, only for Peter to elbow him.

"Behave. That's my baby sister you're talking about there, O'Hara."

"You don't even have the same parents, Parker."

"Regardless."

258. Combo

Ava Ayala, the White Tiger, huffs in annoyance.

“Really, Spidey? One of you wasn’t enough?”

“You’re welcome,” says Spider-Glitch drily, pulling off the door of the hanging cage. “Think you can get down while the others handle the VENOM agents?”

White Tiger squints. “Isn’t one of them a VENOM too?”

“A Carnage, actually. Don’t worry, she’s cool.”

“I’ll bet.”

Something’s a little odd about the fight down below. The five other Spider-...people?...well, they’re fighting, but whenever they land a hit green numbers appear in the air.

“Bet you can’t beat that, Peni!” crows the little black-and-red spider, after a couple of shots knock three VENOM agents unconscious and reverting back to their original forms.

“You’re on, Morales!” says the red-and-blue giant robot.

Spider-Glitch grins at Ava’s expression. “I think they took to the Matrix pretty well, all things considered.”

“They’re treating it like...a video game?”

“I know, right? I can’t believe Fury never thought of that!”

259. Elastic

“Uhhhh...hey!”

Spider-Man stares.

"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that." The…rather strange girl (she can't be more than thirteen) shrinks her fist down from colossal size to something approaching normality. "So! …what's up?"

"¿Debería volver más tarde?" asks the Scorpion, fresh from a punch from the aforementioned fist. "Puedo dejar la plata si lo quieres."

"Don't move, this will just take a minute," orders Spider-Man. For good measure, he quickly webs the Scorpion down.

"It is as if you don't trust me…"

“So...can I hang out? Not, you know, as a sidekick, but maybe just kinda shadowing you for a bit? Until I’m ready to work back in Queens. If...that’s okay?”

"Okay, first off, what are you doing out of school?"

"…it's March break and I took the two-week option? Why aren't you in school?"

Miles almost splutters. "Wha—who said anything about being in school?"

(It's his last semester, for your information.)

"And why do you sound like you've got a bad cold all of a sudden?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Then Miles remembers himself. "And what's with the costume?"

The girl draws back, looking a little self-conscious. "It's not like I just have materials that stretch with me lying around…" she mumbles.

"No, no, that's okay. I had the same problem, went around in a store-bought suit for my first few days too. I can help with that if you want," Miles offers, wondering how to explain this to Mrs. Parker. ("Hi, I found a stray superhero and she needs a suit"? Probably not the best opening line.) But the strange girl brightens up a bit, at least. "No, what I meant was, why the Captain Marvel costume?"

"That's because I'm Ms. Marvel!" says the girl proudly. Trace of an accent…Hindi, maybe? Urdu?

“Seriously? You know that’s probably copyrighted, right?”

“Okay, to be fair, you basically just took over the franchise. This is a tribute.”

"I did not—okay, look, bottom line, you do not just go out into the street and start swinging! That's not how superheroing works! You gotta practice a bit, maybe get yourself some decent digs, some kind of support network, again you can start with part of mine, and…and what am I saying? You don't need this kind of life, kid! My advice? Just stay outta the game until you’ve got your future settled. I can handle stuff until you do."

"I think you're gonna be a baaaad teacher," mutters Ms. Marvel, which annoys Miles for reasons he can't quite place.

"Probably!" calls the Scorpion.

"Stay out of this, Marco."

"Wow. It's not like secret identities mean anything around here, is it."

"Cállate."

260. Include

And Kron Stone, alias Venom, is down for the count.

“Lyla? You getting this?” murmurs Miguel.

—well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can actually tell you who it is—

Odd way of phrasing it, but...

“Hey!” calls Miguel in his Spider-Voice. “Whoever you are, you did good, kid. But this isn’t safe for you.”

“If it’s safe for you, then it’s plenty safe for me,” says the copper-bodied figure through a modulator. “And I’m not a kid.”

“You sound like a kid.” Actually he sounds like Gabriel with a sore throat.

The shimmering mask of liquid metal (a Stark-Fujikawa specialty—maybe a corporate rival?) twitches into a face like an annoyed gargoyle. “I’m not. Uh...I am the Green Goblin, here to clean up this town!”

“Uh huh.”

“Look, I just saved your life, dude, give me a break.”

“I’m trying to. Go home, kid. You’ve got better things to do with your life.”

“Right about now?” says the Green Goblin, fanged face looking surprisingly solemn. “This is exactly what I want to be doing. I’ll...see you around, Spiderman.”

And he gets on his hoverboard and starts to fly away.

“Hey!”

The Goblin turns in midair.

“...thanks.”

The metal face twists into almost a soft smile, and on he goes.

Stark-Fujikawa tech again. Hmmm...

Maybe he can ask Gabriel if he’s seen anything suspicious lately. He works for Stark-Fujikawa, right?

—honestly I have no idea who that was—

And maybe he needs to bring Lyla over to Xina again, she’s definitely malfunctioning and he didn’t even ask her to this time.

261. Corporeal

The fact that there's another Spider in Miles' dimension? That's…cool. The fact that she's about the same age as Peter Parker, was bitten by the same spider as Peter Parker, and had a bit of a tough time for some reason so she moved out of town? Also cool. The fact that she's got a bit less experience than Peter so Miles doesn't have another mentor (not that he really wants one)? All good.

But San Francisco?

"That's like…the anti-New York."

The ghostly figure beside Silkworm on the rooftop rolls his eyes.

that'sabitrudeisn'tit?

Silkworm (who is wearing what seems to be a yellow and white hanbok-style suit with black web patterns and a domino mask) grins.

"Okay, so it takes some getting used to. But it's not too bad. And hey, it's nice to know there's another Spider around, just in case."

andyou'renotthrowingyourselfatthisoneso.

"Spectro."

Spectro just grins.

Miles blinks.

"I don't think you two have been properly introduced. Miles Morales, Spider-Man, meet my idiot boyfriend, Hector Cervantez. Alias Spectro."

Miles scratches his head. "Uhhh…correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he…aren't you…"

dead? Spectro finishes. probably.

"Dude, I'm…"

actuallythat'sreallyunclear, butyouknowwhat? i'velearnedtolivewithit. sortof. He smiles. plusitmeansIgettohelpoutabitmorearoundhere.

Silkworm smiles back. With practiced ease, Spectro makes a karate-chop movement, which Silkworm catches easily, and they hold hands for a couple of seconds.

"So…what kind of bad guys do you get around here?"

"Would you believe me if I said Pokémon?"

"Come on," says Miles dismissively. "You ain’t gonna fool a Brooklyn kid that easy."

There's a roar on the horizon, and a large pink dragon soars overhead.

"…man, that's not fair."

Silkworm and Spectro laugh.

262. Wail

Taking a piece of Peter’s grave to another dimension? That’s one thing. Him asking to be carried around all the time? That’s another.

“Gee, Stacy, aren’t you a little old to have a pet rock?”

Gee, Allen, aren’t you a little old to need to get a life?

...okay, fine, she snorted at that one.

It hasn’t been very helpful on the job either. Up until now.

“Any last words?” asks Doc Ock, squeezing tight.

Mind you, now’s not the best time to find out.

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod just stay there I’ll help!

“That,” grunts Gwen between her teeth as she tries to push the mechanical limbs apart, “would be a really bad idea—”

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The sound pierces Gwen’s ears and turns her stomach. Doc Ock is literally blown backwards. Her ears are bleeding.

It disappears as quickly as it started.

A few quick webs and an anonymous text later, and Gwen’s up on the rooftop squeezing the rock tight enough to crush it. (She doesn't. She wouldn't.)

“What the hell, Parker?”

...I’m sorry. Are you okay?

“Never mind about me, what was that? When did you turn into a banshee?”

I didn’t! Honest! I just...gathered up some of the sounds floating around and kind of pushed them out. It’s like how I talk to you, just...not like that. Maybe a bit stronger.

Gwen pauses. “How long have you been able to do that?”

Far as I know? This is the first time I’ve actually tried. I honestly didn’t think it could work.

“...hmm.”

...can I try it again?

She knows the hope in that voice. That curiosity tinged with mild desperation.

“Only on bad guys,” she warns him. “And only in emergencies.”

You got it, Sensei.

“Shut up.”

Hey, how's "The Banshee" as a codename?

"About as on-the-nose as 'The Lizard'."

It's straightforward at least.

"You're gonna be the death of me, you know that?"

I wouldn't dare. You'd give me hell for the rest of my afterlife.

"And don't you forget it." But she's smiling again.

263. Mentee

One evening, Doctor Octavius—not Doc Ock, don't mix lab work with mask work—starts glitching.

"Whoa! Doctor Octavius, are you okay?"

She bats his hand away from her shoulder—and then falls to the floor, starts going fractal again with a noise like a lightsaber put through a DJ mix. "Don't worry, Mi/les, I'm ab/sol/utely f/ine! …owwwww." She cricks her neck. "Just a side effect from a personal experiment."

"This is…"

This is weird. This is very weird.

(And if she hadn't just tried to kill him again last week he might actually be worried.)

She looks at him softly, puts a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "Hey. Hey, it's okay, kid. I'm alright. Nothing to be s/caaaaaared/ offffffffff. Aargh, that hurt."

Miles winces in sympathy. "What—what can I do?" (Play dumb.) "Can I get you anything to help?" (Smart dumb. Nice.)

She nods, panting. "You think you can g/et a bage/lllllllll…get…get me a bagel from the cafeteria please?"

"Extra cream cheese?"

She grins. "You know me so well, Mister Morales."

Better than you'd think, Miles thinks to himself as he rushes down the hallway.

Okay. Option One, there's a parallel-world Olivia Octavius who's managed to get through. Unlikely but possible. Option Two, travelling too many times between dimensions causes you to start glitching in your home dimension because of the other atomic structures incorporated into you. Again unlikely—he's never glitched at home—but worth talking to Tech Support about. Option Three…

Option Three is that travelling too many times between dimensions when you don't have a stabilizing factor, like, for instance, being a Spider, causes your atoms to slowly fall apart regardless.

None of these are good. Other hypotheses may be even worse.

Much as he has concerns about Doc Ock, much as he really doesn't like Liv based on Aunt May's stories, he doesn't want Doctor Octavius to die. Least of all like that.

Bagel. Toasted. Extra cream cheese. Strawberry jam. Some water as well. Bed rest is next, he can handle the project report (a re-evaluation of thread theory based on “anonymous research”, i.e., collider data). He's been at this job for two years now anyway. And then…he hopes Miguel's still up, at least.

Miles doesn't need to imagine how painful it could be. He knows. But he, for one, is not going to wait around and watch.

264. Collective

"See?" says Ham, proud as can be. "Told you guys that Charlie would be amazing."

"Well, yeah," says Peter B., who looks mildly ill, "but…it's not exactly just him, is it?'

"Well, no. But hey, the psychic link seems to be holding up fine. Who would've thought being bitten by a radioactive human would do the trick? Millicent, stop pulling your brother’s legs!"

“How do you even tell them apart?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

The large mass of churning, scuttling spiders in roughly the shape of a human being manages to stand up inside one of Peter’s old suits. It waves.

"How many kids did your great-niece have, exactly?" asks Peni.

"Nelly was always very popular," says Ham, wistfully.

SP//dr, oblivious to her best friend's mild discomfort, waves back eagerly.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you the one, the only, Spiders-Man!"

Now there's just the matter of a mask, which is duly provided, brought up to the top of the pile, and inhabited. There’s a small vocal translator in said mask, designed specially by Miguel.

And so speaks the Spiders-Man for the first time:

“...hi.”

[traincat]

I feel like I've read a ton, but I'm honestly still pretty new to comics rn. That being said... What is one more day? Ik we don't like it and it happened a while ago, but that's about it [,=

Time for Spider-Man History With Traincat: Highly Controversial Storylines! And that feeling is totally normal with comics with huge canons -- you can read a ton and still have some fairly big blindspots in your understanding of the total picture. That being said, this is kind of a big one, both in terms of Spider-Man history/canon and in terms of how Spider-Man fandom functions. I would say probably no other storyline has had quite as much impact on how the fandom views and interacts with the source material as One More Day/Brand New Day. It's been the Wild West out here ever since it happened. (Which was in 2007, so like, yes, fairly long ago, especially when you look at how Spider-Man canon has evolved since, but in the grand scheme of things, also kind of recent. One More Day is not old enough to rent a car.)

So when people talk about Spider-Man's One More Day, they're usually actually talking about two related arcs: One More Day and Brand New Day. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to be covering both. For the sake of transparency, I am going to admit that I think One More Day, as a self-contained story, is good, actually. This is controversial! I admit that! But I stand by my stupid opinions on this blog, for some reason. I think One More Day when you examine it on its own, by which I mean you ignore the decade and a half worth of canon that came after it, as a Spider-Man story and as a PeterMJ-centric story holds up under scrutiny and that people who don't like it don't like complicated love stories and might actually throw their own mothers under buses. No offense to the OMD haters. Little bit of offense to the OMD haters. Brand New Day, which is the continuation of One More Day, on the other hand -- largely bad. Very largely bad.

But let's backtrack. One More Day is a four issue crossover storyline that takes place directly after Civil War, during which Iron Man and Captain America got divorced and divvied up the superhero community and Spider-Man made some startlingly bad decisions and made a fugitive out of himself and his family in a manner that got Aunt May shot, and Spider-Man: Back in Black (Amazing Spider-Man #539–543) which examines Peter's actions immediately after Aunt May is shot and ends with him humiliating the Kingpin in front of an entire prison. One More Day consists of Amazing Spider-Man #544 -> Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24 -> Sensational Spider-Man v2 #41 -> Amazing Spider-Man #545. In One More Day, Aunt May is dying, all of Peter's efforts to save her have thus far failed, and, consumed by guilt, he is rapidly running out of time. Approached by Mephisto, a literal demon from hell, Peter is offered a deal: Aunt May will live -- and Peter's identity, which was previously revealed to the world at large during Civil War, will once again be hidden from the memories of all but a select few -- if Peter trades him his marriage to Mary Jane. Peter and Mary Jane struggle with this, but eventually both agree to the deal. The clock strikes twelve, the deal is done, and Peter and Mary Jane's marriage fades into history.

(ASM #545) A reasonably simple premise for a story that caused so many problems -- most, I would argue, not actually the original story's fault. So obviously, this was an unpopular move -- Peter and Mary Jane had for a long time been a fan favorite Marvel couple, and in a fictional universe where most relationships are doomed as soon as they begin, the enduring Spider-Marriage was sacred ground. And then, with a snap of its fingers, it was gone: Peter wakes up in Aunt May's house, no longer married, with Mary Jane out of the picture. (She would not return to the book on any sort of consistent basis for over 50 issues.) In the wake of One More Day began Brand New Day, which is basically what it sounds like: a promised "brand new day" of "exciting" Spider-Man content and a publishing schedule where Amazing Spider-Man came out three times a month. (Which sounds good on paper but I think in practice caused more problems than it created good storylines.) Peter, newly single again, had new love interests! And also Harry Osborn was alive again for some reason! I generally like Harry's post-BND stories so that part's fine with me.

But overall? Brand New Day is a mess. It knows it wants to tread new and exciting ground with Peter -- tell new stories! ensnare new readers! make them fork out for a book three times a month. -- but it doesn't know what those stories should be. Readers who were invested in Peter and Mary Jane's relationship -- a major facet of Spider-Man comics for decades at that point -- felt rightfully betrayed that the marriage could be so easily traded in and that Mary Jane herself, perhaps the second most important figure in Spider-Man comics after Peter, could be tossed aside. From a personal point of view, I think Brand New Day fails in large part because it abandons what has always made Spider-Man such a compelling series, and that's the mix of Peter's personal life with his vigilante life. BND sees Peter with new friends, new jobs, new love interests, etc -- it is very much a brand new day! But it isn't a better day compared to the stories that came before it. I do like some post-BND stories, especially American Son (ASM #595-599) and Grim Hunt (ASM #634-637), but compared to pre-BND where I think the majority of canon is good, it's a very lacking body of work that is hurt by the way it divorced itself from the PeterMJ marriage as Spider-Man's central relationship.

"But Traincat, I thought you said you liked One More Day?" Yeaaaaah. I do. This is why I keep saying I like One More Day on its own merits, and not on the merits of the stories it opened the doors for. I like a good romantic tragedy in fiction, and the way Peter and Mary Jane's final scene in One More Day plays out is beautiful. I like the idea of Peter caught in this impossible situation, being asked to choose between two women he loves more than his own life. A really common criticism I see leveled against One More Day is that Peter should have chosen his relationship with Mary Jane over May's life, which is -- okay, I think it's weird that people keep insisting on this, not in the least because by asking Peter to sacrifice his aunt's life they're essentially demanding he commit a callous, out of character act in order to further his own interests. It's also weird because the thing is, Peter already chose Mary Jane over May -- that's what gets them into this situation. It's literally in the scene where May is shot:

(ASM #538) When the gun goes off, Peter's spider-sense kicks in, and he covers Mary Jane, leaving May in the path of the bullet. He does choose Mary Jane over May, regardless of whether he realized what he was doing. And that's why he can't make that choice a second time. His actions in One More Day do make sense for him as a character, whether or not any individual reader likes them, and Mary Jane's actions make sense, too -- after all, she's the one who ultimately tells Mephisto that they agree to the deal when Peter can't bring himself to voice it.

A lot of people also like to nitpick One More Day by going, well, why could (x) or (y) with life saving powers save Aunt May which is like -- yeah, I guess, but if we're going to ask that about this specific comic book near death setup, you kind of have to do it with every single one, and I'm not going to stake every single moment of comic book drama on whether or not that gold kid from the X-Men was busy at the time. Comics are soap operas in flimsy paper form: serialized longform storytelling that relies heavily on melodrama. Sometimes you have to go with things. Sometimes you sell your marriage to the devil. Stuff happens. That in and of itself doesn't make One More Day a bad story -- and while some people blame the Spider-Marriage's dissolution entirely on One More Day, I think that's a little shortsighted when you look at the history of Spider-Man since the turn of the century. It's clear -- and Marvel themselves have been perhaps a little too open about this -- that Marvel in the past few decades has had trouble with the direction they want to take Spider-Man. They WANTED Spider-Man to appeal to a distinctly youthful audience that they didn't think they were actually reaching -- understandable, considering that Marvel nearly went bankrupt around 2000 and was saved by Ultimate Spider-Man, an out of main continuity series which retold Spider-Man from the beginning and focused heavily on Peter as a teen -- but the problem was Spider-Man in the main continuity was at that point in canon a happily married man who was pushing the dreaded 30 whether or not they wanted to admit that. This is also why Marvel has continually pivoted away from Spider-Man having kids, because they feared that making him a dad would age him too much and make him unrelatable to their coveted audience of Teens. (This is also why almost every new Spider-Man property, especially the live action movies, perpetually stick him back into high school, despite that occupying a very small slice of 616 canon.) So around the year 2000, they started trying things in relation to the Spider-Marriage, which was viewed as a major problem -- after all, what's more adult than being married and liking your wife. First, they had Mary Jane presumed dead. Then, they had Mary Jane and Peter separate. Then, when Mary Jane and Peter had only recently gotten back together, One More Day struck. If One More Day specifically hadn't gone the way it had, it's pretty clear that the Spider-Marriage was going to go one way or another -- it's a little bit of a shame it happened when it did, because OMD is the end of J Michael Straczynski's run, and JMS wrote a really beautiful Peter and MJ relationship. But Marvel as a company and especially editor in chief at the time Joe Quesada viewed Peter and Mary Jane's relationship as a major problem in how they wanted to portray Spider-Man and thought that striking the relationship from the books would allow them more freedom in their portrayal of him as younger and more relatable to their Desired Audience of people who I guess really wanted to see Peter sleep with characters who weren't Mary Jane.

(ASM #546. Younger! Fresher! Less attached! Kissing random women in the club!)

The problem with One More Day has always been in the follow through -- from the content of Brand New Day to the pacing of events to the fact that Marvel withheld key information for such a long time that it allowed misinformation to thrive. After all, what does it MEAN to trade Peter and Mary Jane's marriage to the devil? It altered the events of canon in Peter and the majority of other characters' memories so that the marriage didn't exist, but it left people wondering -- did the relationship as they remembered it existed? How much of Spider-Man canon was altered? And the answers didn't come for over 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man. One Moment In Time or OMIT (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641), which revealed that while Peter and Mary Jane never got married in the altered canon they did continue their long committed relationship up until just after Civil War, was published in 2010, so essentially readers were hung out to dry without answers for three years. That's a long time to string people along, but not as long as it took Marvel to confirm that the popular fan theory that Mary Jane retained her memories of the original timeline as part of her own deal with Mephisto was also true, which happened this year. I would say, at least from my perspective, a lot of the frustration doesn't come from the individual One More Day storyline so much as how Marvel has continually dragged out the aftermath, using the promise of a Spider-Marriage return to keep fans on the hook. Which is why One More Day continually comes up in discussion of current Spider-Man, because Spencer's run has relied very heavily on imagery from that period with a serious question of whether or not there actually was going to be payoff, something which is still up in the air.

This has been Spider-Man History With Traincat, brought to you by anonymice like you.