#soundtrack of my july so far

[vlindervin7]

who’s gonna hold hold you while you sleep? well it’s brave to be nothing to no one at all… when it gets tough i disappear, warm-blooded and wild, i can sense the changes in the air… clear water, still water, we could both wade… love will always last, love will always hold me down… that night i had a dream you took me dancing, it was 92 degrees at 2am, twirling my hair, it’s not everything i wished for but i didn’t care, i just liked having you there… if i could stretch these hours into a lifetime i would stretch these arms and do it at the right time, i would, in spirit you were there, well, maybe next time… now all that we’ve had is all that we have… if the family’s happy, let ‘em laugh let ‘em have their fun, my sister’s raising a baby in the house that my mother grew up… what stops me from sending the call in a midnight paranoia, hey, that’s love after all, isn’t it?… i’m not seeking a shelter, but ill be gone for a while and i don’t wanna be found… no horizon’s ever promised, so while i hold my baby in my arms i’ll count on god to wake us up by sunrise… going through your jewellery, i smile but i know you see through me, you knew who i was before i knew me, on the very first day, now i know what you’re onto, you were just looking for someone to talk to, a beautiful life to belong to, now you’re getting your way, i didn’t think i’d want to be here, but something told me i should stay, so go on mother, hallelujah for a little faith…

[hoodharlow]

Trials and Tribulations

AN: idek 😭😭😭 I was fighting for my life trying to make this happen. There was smut but it the vibes weren't it. Also Jack gif by @harlowgifs. Alsooooo Daisy doesn't exist in this universe

Requested? No

Warnings: mentions of violence (self defense and assault, nothing too graphic), mentions of stalking, mentions of abuse of power, vomit and Jack being 🥺🫂

Word Count: 6.5k words

Jack was about to text Miriam that he was going up her elevator when he spotted her tipping a food delivery driver. She saw him as well and waved. Jack picked up the pace and caught up to her. 

“Hey,” he said, giving her a side hug. 

“Hi, I'm so sorry for bothering you. You probably had better things to do tonight.” Miriam said. 

Clay had left for LA to work with an artist for a few weeks. But before he left, he was helping Miriam with a song for the Barbie soundtrack. She thought they had until July to send in the final product. Then earlier in the day she got a call for Greta Gerwig herself saying that she had until the end of the day to send in her song. She would've flown out to LA to meet up with Clay but she couldn’t because she had a home game the next day that she couldn't miss. 

A lot was riding on this game for her. Her dad had let her know that there were going to be scouts for the women's US team as this year was a world cup year for the women's league. This game could determine if Miriam finally gets to play with some of the best soccer players in the world. Four years ago was her first chance but it got ruined because of one of the coaches from Berkeley. That coach was also why she ended up playing in Brazil for the first two years of her professional career. As far as she knew, that coach was out of the picture and nothing stood in the way of her dream of playing at the world cup. 

It was a good thing that she procrastinated on her song because it was distracting her from thinking about the game.

“Also don't worry, I'm going to pay you for this.” Miriam added as they entered her private elevator. 

Jack shook his head, “Bro, don't worry about it. I'm doing you and my brother a favor.” 

“No, you're getting paid. This is more than just a favor for me. This song is going to be in one of the biggest movies out this year. You're getting paid and getting credit. Don't even think about arguing with me.” She pointed a finger at him.

“How about you just give engineering credit and we call it even?” He suggested. 

“Jack–”

“Miriam, I'm not arguing with you about this.” He said sternly as he pulled out his phone. 

Miriam swallowed hard and simply nodded. There was something about that tone that made her stomach drop. She looked at the receipt of their take out in hopes that it distracted her from the pool she felt in her panties. Thankfully the ride up wasn't long. She led him down the hall to her penthouse. She slipped in her key and pressed a code. The door unlocked and Miriam opened it for them. She closed the and locked it, reentering the code. 

“Don't tell me you have a laser alarm too.” Jack teased her.

 “My parents made me install all the extra locks since I live alone and all that. It was this or my old bodyguard would have to be in the apartment next to mine.” she explained. She handed him the food and pointed behind her. “Here, help yourself to any drinks in the fridge. I'm going to change real quick.” 

Jack nodded. He placed the food on the kitchen island and grabbed a water bottle. He texted Clay as he unloaded all the portable things he and Clay used for when they worked on music on the road. 

Miriam emerged from the hallway in Jack's Ear-X-Tacy hoodie and a pair black Ugg slippers, showing off her toned legs. Jack averted his eyes away from her ass and focused on setting up. He typed in his Dell laptop that he used for for producing, configuring the program to what Clay sent him for the song. 

“Aren't you going to eat?” She asked him, as she straddled the dining table's bench. 

“I ate when I was with Larissa.” He said, not looking up from his laptop. 

“Oh my god, you were on a date?! I feel even worse. I'm so–”

“One, I wasn't on a date, especially with Larissa. She's a friend and nothing more. I don't want anything more with her.” He cut her off, making a cringe face. “And two, stop apologizing for me wanting to help you. I haven't seen you in the last few weeks since we've been busy. So I'm glad I'm helping you so we can spend time together.”

“Oh.” She said quietly. 

Miriam's cheeks flushed. She nervously fluffed her bangs then shoved a forkful of noodles before she could say anything else that could potentially embarrass her. She looked at Jack's screen and frowned.

“Wait, I think Clay sent you the wrong configurations.” She pointed out as she passed him her phone unlocked. “I took pictures of the ones when we were at your studio. They should be the first few in my camera roll. You can look through my phone. I'll go get the hard drive.” 

Jack took her phone and pressed the camera roll. He saw the first picture and locked her phone, placing it face down on the table. The picture was a selfie of Miriam in his hoodie and a lavender lace trim thong. He rubbed the palms of his hands in his eyes, cursing. 

“You alright?” She asked him.

“Uh, the first picture was of you only…” he gestured to the hoodie.

Miriam looked at him confused. She unlocked her phone and was met with herself half naked. She also placed her phone facedown. She forgot she got home and took a bunch of selfies in Jack's hoodie. She took a few making silly faces and peace signs but then they got more explicit. She was going to delete them but forgot. She was so exhausted that night from an early morning practice to spending the rest of the day and evening holed up in Jack's studio. 

“I don't even know what to say. I didn't…those selfies…” She tried to explain.

“We can pretend like I didn't see anything.” He said.

“That would be great.” Miriam nodded, letting oit a nervous laugh.

 Jack leaned in a bit closer to her. In a hushed tone he said, “off the record you did look good in my hoodie.” 

“Thanks.” she smiled softly.

Jack cleared his throat. “So the configurations…”

“Right.” 

Miriam showed him the actual picture and they got to work. Mainly Jack was the one working. Miriam was still learning about producing and what really goes into song making so she just watched him. It was impressive to see Jack in his element. While he was just clicking around on his computer, adjusting the recorded instruments and Miriam's singing, it showed how meticulous he was and how much attention to detail he paid to make a song good on a technical level. 

At one point Clay briefly got on facetime with them to explain to Jack what he wanted. Then he went back to his own work. Miriam then got in contact with Greta Gerwig and the movie editors. They liked what Jack had done and when he finished polishing up the song, they were sending it over. 

“I think this is it.” Jack finally said after working in silence.

Miriam sat up and leaned in. “No way! You're fucking amazing! Thank you so much.” 

She threw her arms up and hugged him. Jack hugged her back, bringing her closer to his lap. So close she may as well just straddle him. They slowly pulled apart but still held onto each other. Jack cleared his throat. Miriam turned her head, only inches away from his. Her eyes drifted down to his lips and back to his blue eyes. 

Before anything could happen, the doorbell rang followed by a bark. Miriam cursed as she scrambled off Jack. She tugged down her shorts and opened the door. 

“Roni!” She exclaimed, hugging a golden retriever.

“No pos yo valgo verga.” Her dad mumbled as he trailed inside with a dog crate and medium sized suitcase. That was when he noticed his youngest wasn't alone. “Harlow?” 

“Hi Mr. Dominguez.” Jack waved from the table. 

Roni, the golden retriever, heard Jack's voice and wandered inside to sniff him out. He approached Jack cautiously and stuck its nose onto him. It leaned down and barked happily, wagging its tail. Roni then laid on his back. Jack reached over and scratched Roni's tummy. 

“Jack was helping me with the song for Barbie.” Miriam told her dad.

“We just finished it, so I should get going,” he said. 

“Are you sure?”she asked.

“I still have to pack for Vegas. We fly out tomorrow in the afternoon, but I want to have my morning free.” Jack explained. 

“If you're not busy in the morning you can join me and Miriam for some drills.” Mateo said. “I rented out an indoor soccer field a few hours before Miriam's game.” 

Jack's face lit up. “You mean like I can train with you?” 

“Papi, he just said that he wanted his morning free.” Miriam sighed. 

“I'll make time.” Jack waved her off.

“Okay now that el cabron is settled, I should get going. I have reservations for dinner with Isabela.” Her dad said. 

Miriam frowned. “Mami's here too?” 

“Yeah, we're staying at the 21C Hotel. I just came to drop off my baby.” He shrugged.

“I thought I was your baby.” She mumbled. 

“Isa is waiting for me.” Mateo said, ignoring what she said. He leaned over and kissed Miriam's forehead. “I'll pick you up tomorrow.” 

“Bye.” Miriam said. 

“I'll see you tomorrow at seven a.m. sharp.” Miriam's dad said before closing the door behind him.

Roni huffed and climbed on Miriam's bisexual velvet green couch. Miriam made a mental note to vacuum brush him so his fur wouldn't get all over her couch. 

“I'm all packed up.” Jack said, tugging on the strap of his backpack. “I saved everything on the hard drive and got a copy for myself just in case. I sent it to Clay as well. If you need anything just text me.”

“Oh, okay.” She said, trying not to sound disappointed. 

She was hoping that they could hang out for a little longer, maybe watch a movie. But she understood that Jack had a pretty busy schedule and she shouldn't be getting in the way. 

“I'll see you tomorrow before I leave.” he reassured her.

“I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but please don't come to practice. My dad's really tough when it comes to drills and all that.” Miriam said.

Jack gave her a pointed look. “Miriam, I was on varsity all four years of high school and I've been playing indoor soccer for years. My team won our league division. I'll be fine.”

*

Jack was exhausted. He'd been in the indoor soccer field with Miriam and her dad for over three hours. When Mateo asked him if he wanted to train with him and Miriam, Jack wasn’t expecting a full on scrimmage with drills. Especially since Miriam had a game later tonight. Hell, before they even began running drills, Mateo made them run ten laps around the perimeter of the indoor field. He was ready to tap out right then and there, but he wasn't going to let Miriam tell him ‘I told you so.’”

Mateo blew his whistle. “Five minute water break.”

He jogged over to Miriam's mom, who was sitting on the stands typing away on her MacBook. 

Miriam walked over to Jack and sat on the turf next to him. Jack laid on the ground and groaned in pain. 

“Don't even think about saying it.” He winced.

“Do you need tiger balm?” She asked, trying not to laugh.

“Not at the moment.” He said, pushing himself up. 

Jack looked over to Miriam and she hadn't even broken a sweat yet. She was in a sports bra and her soccer shorts, but she looked ethereal in them, like she was going to shoot a sportswear ad and not that she'd been playing for two hours. 

He could help but admire her. She was toned all over but she still looked delicate. Miriam carried herself with grace and elegance but when she played, she morphed herself into a different person. She was one with the ball and field. One thing he noticed was a scar on her left side near her middle of her ribs. It was the size and shape of a men's soccer cleat. 

“What?” Miriam asked, looking at Jack confused. She followed his eyes and covered up her scar by folding her arms over it.

“Hm?” He responded back.

“You've been staring at me for a minute straight.” She giggled. 

“Sorry, I zoned out.” He apologized.

“Oh, no worries.” She waved him off. 

They both sat in awkward silence. The only sounds were from Roni chasing down his toy lobster and Miriam's parents being all giggly in the stands. Roni trotted over to Miriam and pushed her on the ground. He pounced on her chest then plopped his lobster toy on her face.

“Roni, get off.” Miriam gasped.

Jack reached for the toy and tossed it across the field. Roni took off running after it. 

“Where did his name come from?” Jack asked. 

“One of my dad's friend's dogs had puppies and he gave them away. Another friend named his puppy Teo after my dad so my dad named ours Roni after his friend.” She explained. 

“Who's his friend?” He reached for his water bottle. 

“Ronaldinho.” Miriam shrugged casually before sipping her water. 

Jack choked on his water in response. 

“Don't act so shocked you met him too.” She laughed.

“How do you know?” He looked at her confused. 

“I went to his birthday party with my dad last year. I was expecting you to come up to my dad but you didn't. Which I get since Anitta was your date and all.” She said casually. 

“One, Anitta wasn't my date; she was the only personI knew and who spoke English. Two, I did say hi to your dad but I wasn't going to be all up on him. I can't have him think I'm obsessed with him.” He explained. 

“But you are obsessed with my dad.” She pointed out. 

“But he can't know that.” He said in a duh tone.

“Oh, of course not. It's not like you jumped at the first chance to play soccer with him.” She said sarcastically. 

Jack rolled his eyes, “You're a smart ass, you know that right?” 

“It's one of my many assets that people love about me.” she smiled. 

“What are the others?” he asked.

“You should've scrolled on my camera roll yesterday and seen for yourself.” Miriam smiled sweetly. 

Jack was silent, confused on what she meant. 

Mateo blew his whistle and jogged to the goalpost. Miriam got up and dusted off the black and green bits of turf off her shorts before going to him. Jack did the same and went to them. 

For the rest of the hour the three of them spent it on working on Miriam's penalty shots. One of her weakest skill sets. She was good for assisting in clearing a way for the ball to reach the goal. She scored obviously but she always felt more comfortable battling it out. She felt an immense pressure when it came to penalty shots. She got in her head and would freeze up, kicking the ball in the most predictable direction or she'd miss completely. 

After packing up their things, Miriam’s parents left for their hotel to freshen up for lunch. Miriam had a team lunch so she wasn’t going to see her parents until the game. So that left Jack and Miriam in the parking lot. They stood by Miriam's car talking. Jack was getting picked up by Urban so they were waiting for him to come and get him. Roni was sleeping in Miriam’s car with the AC turned up all the way. 

“Make sure to stretch. You’re going to be sore later.” Miriam said. 

“I’ll be fine.” Jack waved her off.

“You were out of breath three laps in our warm up.” she laughed.

“I don’t have the stamina for running laps.” He said defensively.

“What do you have stamina for then?” she asked him.

He smirked in response. 

“If only there was a way for you to prove it.” She gave him a coy smile.

Jack took it as his sign to go for it. He leaned down and kissed Miriam. She melted into him. She stood on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, deepening their kiss. Jack pressed himself against her and slowly rutted his hips. He swallowed Miriam's desperate moans and wrapped one of her legs over his waist. He slipped his hand in her shorts, gripping the fleshy part where her ass and thigh met. 

A loud honk startled them. Jack looked over his shoulder and saw Urban with the largest ‘I told you so’ smirk. He flipped his best friend and turned back to Miriam.

“When I get back from Vegas, I’ll take you out on a proper date.” He told her. 

“Okay.” Miriam smiled. 

He leaned in for another kiss but Miriam curved him.

“As much as I want to stay here and keep kissing you, I should get going. My mom probably checked my location and is going to call me, wondering why I haven't

left.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Drive safe and text me when you get home.”

“I will.” She kissed his cheek.

“Wait,” he pulled her arm back and gave her a proper kiss. “Okay, I’ll see you when I get back. Don’t forget to kick some ass later.”

Jack took a step back but Miriam pulled him back. She held his cheek and kissed him. 

Times like this Urban wished he carried a spray bottle. He pressed on the honk for ten seconds then pressed it short spurts. Miriam’s dog popped his head out from the window and barked at Urban. Eventually Jack and Miriam pulled away. That was when Urban stopped. 

Miriam fluffed her curls and waved at Urban. “Hi, Urban.” 

“Are you done dry humping my best friend?” He smirked. 

Jack was getting in the car and smacked Urban. 

“For now.” Miriam said. “Have a safe flight.” 

She got in her car and adjusted the AC so it wasn't too cold. Miriam waved to Jack and Urban as she drove off. She was on cloud nine and nothing could ruin her good mood. All she needed was to play her game and get recruited for everything to be perfect. 

*

It was half time. Racing Louisville was winning by two goals. One of which Miriam scored. She snuck into one of the bathroom stalls in the locker room and checked her phone. She'd been messaging Jack the rest of the day until she had to get ready for her game. The last thing she sent him was a silly selfie of her in his hoodie. He responded with a Tom from Tom & Jerry where he ascended to heaven after passing out. 

She decided to respond with one of the explicit selfies she took in his hoodie. Jack responded immediately with ‘are you trying to kill me fr’. Miriam frowned. He should be on his flight to Vegas by now. He could have wifi on his flight but something in her gut made her think this wasn't the case. 

‘Are you still in Louisville?’ She sent him.

‘Yeah, the jet reserved for us wasn't available anymore. My managers are trying to work something out. Congrats on your goal though.’ He replied. 

‘I can ask my dad if you can borrow his jet. My parents don't leave until later in the week.’

‘Don't worry about it. We'll figure it out. Focus on your game.’ 

Miriam attached her dad's number. ‘Here's my dad's number just in case. I'll text you later.’ 

She walked out of the stall and went to wash her face in the sink. 

“Miriam, guess who I saw!” Larissa yelled. 

“Jesus,” Miriam jumped back, clutching her phone to her chest.

“Hey, focus.” She snapped her fingers in Miriam's face.

“Don't do that.” She pushed Larissa's hand away from her face.

“Well pay attention. Guess who I saw.” She grinned.

“No clue.” Miriam said, dabbing her face with a paper towel.

“Couch Garrett, remember him. Apparently he's one of the coaches for North Carolina.” Larissa said. 

Miriam's stomach dropped hearing Coach Garrett. “I have to talk to my dad.” 

She pushed past Larissa and rushed out the locker room.

“Miriam!” Her dad approached her.

“He's here! He's not supposed to be here.” Her voice trembled. Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can't play. He–”

She rushed to the closest trash bin and threw up. Miriam flinched, feeling a hand rub her back. She looked to see who it was. She let out a choked sob when she realized it was her mom. Miriam wrapped her arms around her. 

“Beto already alerted security and the coaches. He's technically permitted to be in the premises.” her dad said in a defeated voice.

“I want to go home.” Miriam said in a small voice. 

“But–” her dad began.

“Teo, my daughter's safety is more important than some soccer game.” Isabela snapped at him.

“No, I should play. I shouldn't have to cower and not live my life. This is important to me.” Miriam said, pushing herself off her mom. She wiped her face. “I should go.”

“Miriam…” her mom began. 

“I'll see you guys in a bit.” 

Miriam gave them her best fake smile. She kissed her parents’ cheeks and went to meet up with her teammates. She reassured her coaches she was fine to continue playing. She went to her spot on the field. She looked over to where her old coach was. 

He was sitting in the back with a few players from the other team. They gathered around him all smiling and talking animatedly. He looked toward Miriam's direction. Their eyes met and he gave her a soulless smile. She averted her eyes and focused on the game. 

The referee blew their whistle and the game continued. Miriam couldn't concentrate. She kept making simple mistakes. She missed the ball and one of the other team's players took the ball from her. They scored. Then they scored once more. By the end of the game Racing Louisville ended up losing 3-2. 

It was the worst Miriam played and she once played with a fever and without her contacts. She went to the nearest trash bin and threw up once more. She took a sip of her water and swished it around her mouth before spitting it out. 

A man in a suit and a woman in a pantsuit with the US Women's team logo on the jacket pocket approached Larissa. Miriam watched as Larissa's face lit up. She nodded and shook their hands. The scouts didn't talk to anyone else. 

“I got recruited!” Larissa squealed.

A few of their teammates congratulated her but the rest exchanged looks. Truthfully Miriam was surprised Larissa got recruited. She'd been injured half of the time and for this game she only played for five minutes. Besides Miriam, there were more qualified players to have been picked. Despite that Miriam was happy for her friend. From their Berkeley days to now, Larissa had improved by a lot. 

“Okay, time to line up.” Their head coach said. 

For home games, the coaches lined up first followed by the team captain and the goalie, then the rest of the team in numerical order. Since Miriam was number 80, she went to the back. The visiting team lined up the same, but with the coaches in the end. 

As the line went down, Miriam realized she was going to have to shake hands with her old coach. If someone didn't shake hands with anyone from the opposing team, it was viewed as disrespectful. But Miriam couldn't bring herself to do it. At the last second she put her hand behind her back. 

She felt a rough pull back. It was her coach. He gripped her wrist and tried to open her hand to shake it. On instinct Miriam punched him with her free hand. He let go immediately but tried to reach for her again. One of the stadium's security guards grabbed him. 

Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. Beto gently grabbed Miriam and escorted her away. He took her to the medic room. Her parents were bickering on the opposite end of the room. When they saw her, everything resumed to its normal speed.

“Mi niña.” Isabela gasped, wrapping her arms around her.

Miriam hissed in pain. She clutched her wrist. It was bright red with his hand print burnt on her skin. The knuckles of her other hand were covered in blood. The medic treated her hands. The blood on her knuckles wasn't hers so that hand was fine. Her other hand wasn't sprained but they wrapped it up in a bandage to prevent it from worsening.

The security that pulled her coach off her was at the door with an actual police officer. Mateo and Beto walked out of the medic room to talk to them. The officer came into the room and asked Miriam to describe the events of the altercation. The officer kept pressing her as to why the coach would act like that towards her, irritating Miriam. 

“I used to hook up with his fiancé. At the time I wasn't aware. Okay?” She snapped. 

Her mom rubbed her arm. “Maybe we can come into the station and finish the report some other time.” 

“No, I just want to get this over with and go home.” Miriam said. 

She answered a few more questions for the officer. After what felt like an eternity they finished up. The officer had the nerve to ask for a picture with Miriam's mom. Isabela gave him a dirty look and walked out of the medic room. 

Miriam went to the locker room and gathered her things. It was pretty empty by the time she went. She turned off her phone and slammed her locker shut. She rested her forehead against the cool metal of the locker door. She took deep breaths to center herself. As she walked out, a few straggling teammates hugged her and offered their support. They didn't know for what, but they still wanted Miriam to know she was loved and appreciated by them. 

She followed her parents to their rental. They gave Beto Miriam's keys so he could follow them in her car. Miriam curled up in the backseat. She silently cried the entire drive home. Once she was in her home, she went to shower. She sat on the shower floor and cried. 

Her day started out amazingly only to end in one of the worst ways possible. 

*

Jack rubbed his temple as he listened to Larissa talk his ear off. 

“Please, this is the only favor I'm asking you for.” She pleaded. “I made the US Women's team and I want to celebrate.” 

“Riss, if I make the call, I have to go. And honestly, I'm not really up for it. Plus it'll be a huge slap in the face for my fans that went to Vegas. It'll look shitty if I'm seen at a club when I just canceled a paid gig.” Jack explained. 

“You're so lame.” She scoffed. 

She hung up on him. Jack rolled his eyes and tossed his phone his bed. 

Obviously he was happy for her, but she had to think for two seconds. Jack knew it would cause a lot of backlash for him if he was out partying. He felt like shit because he'd never canceled an appearance or a concert in all of his career. He also felt uncomfortable about how Larissa talked about Miriam. When she called him she vented to him about how Miriam took the spotlight away from her at the game. According to Larissa, Miriam was jealous that she didn't make the team and took her anger out on their old college coach. Because of that all the sports pages were talking about Miriam and the coach and about Larissa. 

It just didn't make sense to Jack why she would twist it like that. He watched a live stream of the game and he saw when the coach got physical with Miriam and she defended herself. Urban was watching with him and even he was disgusted with how the coach manhandled Miriam. 

Jack reached for his phone and texted Miriam. He'd been trying to check in on her in the last few hours, but everything went to voice-mail. He wanted to make sure she was safe. She was safe in the grand scheme of things, but he wanted to hear it from her directly. He didn't know why the coach reacted like that, but he knew Miriam didn't deserve it. He even called Clay to see if he knew anything, but his brother was just as unaware as he was. 

He grew more impatient so he got dressed in some comfortable clothes and grabbed his keys. He drove to Miriam's place. He checked in with the doorman, but he didn't let Jack go. He held up his finger for him to wait. He called up to Miriam's floor. A few nods and an ‘of course’, the doorman let Jack upstairs. 

When he reached the floor, he was met with Miriam's bodyguard. Jack had seen him a few times but he usually was a few feet away and never talked to him. He slipped inside and seconds later he came out. Beto walked down the hall and entered the other penthouse. 

The door opened, revealing Miriam. 

“Hey, I know this is late but I just wanted to check–”

“Do you wanna come in?” She asked.

“Sure.” Jack nodded. 

“What happened to Vegas?” She asked him, leading him to the living room.

“We tried getting a different jet but nothing was able to accommodate us.” He said.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Miriam said. 

“It happens. Sometimes things just don't work out for the best.” 

Roni got up from his crate and sniffed Jack. Then he went back to lay in his crate. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat? I have a bunch of stuff. Or we can order in and–” Miriam's voice cracked. 

She'd be trying her best to not cry in front of Jack. But she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Miriam wrapped her arms around Jack. He hugged her back. She immediately broke into sobs. Jack let her cry it out. He rubbed her back as she clung to him. A few minutes passed and Miriam relaxed. She pulled away and rubbed her face. 

“I'm so sorry. That was–”

“Don't apologize for feeling things. You were hurt and have every right to feel upset, Miriam. You didn't deserve it.” Jack said, brushing a few curls off her face. 

“Can we talk about something else?” She suggested.

“Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich? I've been told that I make a mean sandwich.” he offered her. 

“Okay.” Miriam nodded. 

She led him to the kitchen and showed him the sandwich and salad drawer in the fridge. It was filled with all sorts of deli meats, cheeses, condiments, sauces, spreads, and veggies. Jack picked the basics: white cheddar, mozzarella and shaved parmesan cheese. He also grabbed a jar of mayo. 

“Where's your bread?” Jack asked, carefully rummaging through her fridge. 

“In the pantry. Where else?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. 

“Oh you're an outside bread person.” He said in a fake judgemental voice. “Don't tell me you also put your ketchup in the fridge.”

“That's what the bottle says.” Miriam said defensively. 

“If you say so.”

Miriam went into the pantry and grabbed a loaf of sourdough she bought at the farmer's market. She also came out with a box of bagel chips. She handed Jack the bread and reached for the goat cheese she had near the butter. She sat back and snacked on them. She fed Jack some cheese and crackers while he prepared his cooking station. 

“This tastes expensive.” He said after trying a piece of white cheddar.

“I don't know. I bought it at Whole Foods.” She shrugged. 

“I rest my case.” He mumbled. 

Miriam tossed him a cracker, making him laugh. Their eyes met and they shared a soft smile. 

Jack focused on their sandwiches. He basically put his reputation on the line. He placed some butter on a skillet to melt while he spread mayo on both sides of each slice. Then he carefully layered on the cheeses. Once the sandwiches were assembled, he carefully carried them to the stove.

“I was hooking up with his fiancé.” Miriam blurted out, making Jack drop the sandwich. 

It landed on the skillet but most of the cheese fell out.

“Who?” Jack asked.

“My coach.” She said, shamefully. She didn't look up to Jack's eyes. She concentrated on the wrapper the goat cheese came in. “I didn't know when we first started seeing each other. She told me she was single. The natural thing was to believe her. She was doing her PhD in kinestheology at Stanford. So we didn't see each other that often to form an exclusive relationship. So we settled on friends with benefits. When I didn't have a game or whatever, I'd order her an Uber to come visit me.” 

“How long were y'all together?” Jack asked.

“About seven months during my third year of college. It wasn't until a team banquet with all of my teammates, our families, the coaches and their families towards the end of spring semester that I found out. Coach Garrett brought her as his plus one. He made a joke about it being forbidden love because she went to Stanford and we were at Berkeley. I pulled her aside and confronted her. She made up some bullshit excuse and tried to make me feel about confronting her.

I was confused for a while. She was technically the most serious relationship with a woman that I ever had. The other girls I've been with usually hook ups that fizzled out to flings. They never lasted. With Carly, it was different. Before finding out she was with coach Garrett. We talked about starting a life together, moving in, and all that. I eventually ended it. I couldn't be the other woman, no matter how much she tried to make me think it was okay. 

But that was when it took a turn. Carly wouldn't leave me alone. I'd see her everywhere. The final nail was when she showed up to my grandma's house when I was visiting her and my dad's step-dad. Dom called the police. It was a shit show. Coach Garrett had to bail her out and that was when he found out. 

Practices were a pain in the ass after that. He would tell the other coaches I was being difficult and they wouldn't let me play. Then one day I stayed late to work on some drills on my own. And that was when he…” Miriam sniffled. “Sorry.” 

Jack reached for her hand and gently rubbed her hand with his thumb. “You don't have to share if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything.” 

“I know, but I want to.” She said. She cleared her throat. “He saw me and decided to confront me about it. I tried to ignore him but he got closer and all up in my personal space. Then he grabbed me like he did today. But back then he threw me to the ground. I knew a bit of self defense so I was able to kind of protect myself. I tried running, but he caught up to me and threw me to the ground. He stomped on my ribs, fracturing two of them. That was when Beto showed up and tackled him to the ground. I passed out and I woke up in the hospital.

I made my whole statement with the police. My parents got me a five year restraining order. Coach Garrett ended up transferring to a different college for my fourth year at Berkeley. He has a lot of connections through his dad. They were also able to hide the restraining order from his record. It was still active but there was a loophole that we could be in the same premises as long as he didn't approach me. Then when it was time getting recruited for professional and club teams, he got me blacklisted. I didn't get drafted into any teams here or in Europe. My dad eventually pulled some strings and got me in a team in Brazil. But yeah that's pretty much it. My parents flew back to LA to have a judge reinforce the restraining order.” 

Jack was quiet. He couldn't figure out what to tell her. He was angry at the coach for hurting Miriam. She didn't deserve any of it. 

“You wanna know what the cherry on top is? According to Larissa they got married and had a kid.” Miriam laughed dryly. 

“You didn't deserve any–”

“I went through years of therapy.  I heard it all. It's just not something I share with anyone, but I trusted you enough to. You probably want to run for the hills. I totally understand if you do.” 

“You can't get rid of me that easily. I appreciate you trusting me enough to be able to share that.” Jack said.

“Okay change of topics, how are those sandwiches coming along?” Miriam asked, looking at the stove behind Jack.

“You gotta be patient.” He said in his customer service voice. 

While the sandwiches cooked, Miriam helped Jack clean up around the kitchen

 She also got them drinks from the pantry. Jack plated up their sandwiches and followed Miriam back to the living room. They ate in silence as they watched the original White Men Can't Jump. When they finished eating, Miriam placed their dishes in the sink. She grabbed a blanket and placed it over them while they watched the rest of the movie. 

Miriam curled up against Jack. Her legs draped over his thighs while he had an arm around her back. Their eyes met. Miriam took it as a hint and leaned in but Jack moved his head. 

“As much as I want to, not today.” He said.

“Okay.” She nodded. “Can you still spend the night with me?” 

“I was hoping so. I got really comfortable on your couch. I might visit you more often just to nap.” He joked.

“Only to nap?” She arched an eyebrow. 

“Among other things, but for tonight, we're watching tv and sleeping.”

[palmtreesx3]

Seeing Stars

I don't often share the words that vomit from my own head, but from what started as Hot Tub Steve appreciation inspired by the artist formerly known as @willowherbal (*insert Hunger Games 3 finger salute in memorial*) and the masterpiece that was Be With You Everywhere - Hot Dog Steve emerged and I couldn't remove the bumbling idiot from the depths of my brain. So thanks for that @sweetsweetjellybean @crappymixtape @superblysubpar

Steve Harrington x FEM!reader

Summary: The crew finally decides it's time to start celebrating the 4th of July again, but Steve Harrington finds he can't stop himself from staring.

References to past trauma, a dash of NSFW, staring, glaring and illusions to a hot tub hook up

Part 2: A Girl Like You

_________

It was hot. Not oppressive. Not stifling. But the kind of hot that has you seeing stars at one in the afternoon. Sunbeams bouncing off pool water, sunglass lenses and sweat glistening skin - not sure if you're more desperate for the cold beer or sticking your hand in the ice cold cooler to grab it in the first place.

Honestly, it's everything you could want for a celebratory, classic, absolutely patriotic 4th of July, but things are different at this particular picnic. It's been a few years, but the innocent holiday full of sparklers, sweet watermelon juice running down your chin and late night fireworks just hasn't been the same since everything that happened that year at Starcourt. It was when everything you thought you knew about the place you grew up changed in an instant and this motley crew welcomed you into their fold. Since then, most have pretended it was any other day, hiding away trying to busy themselves with whatever they can to avoid the Americana laced trauma.

You don't know whose idea it was to finally put a pin in the escapism, and while most tentatively agreed that it was about time you knock down the walls you all built to hide away the day, everyone unanimously also agreed they didn't want to spend it with anyone else that wouldn't understand. So that's how you found yourself here, hiding away for the holiday in the backyard of the Harrington house, poolside with people you grew up way too fast alongside, and others who are now far too grown to be the kids you once cared for. It's still surreal to you to think you can find yourself comfortably sitting here at this house with any of these people - none of whom (save the kids) were you big fans of before that star spangled day from hell all those years ago.

You were splayed out now, towel rolled up under your neck, daydreaming. Trying hard not to have your thoughts float back to all that you've collectively been through and instead on all the things you wish would go right from here on out. Behind a soundtrack of laughing, splashing and American Woman playing loud on the radio, you were grateful for the comfort of these people who turned into lovely friends and imagining the potential of a fresh start ahead after just finishing up your college degree that past spring. Things feeling far enough in the past to even consider what a future could look like.

That sparkling, blinking sunshine brought you back to reality - sunglasses snatched from your face in an instant by a meddling Dustin dashing by. The kids all now playing hot potato with your Ray Bans, you sigh before calling out "After all these fuckin years, you still think you can get under my skin? You know you're not 13 anymore, right?!" They laugh and you smile, because your favorite pastime is giving them as much shit as they can handle.

You squint hard against the blistering sun and in that moment become blissfully aware of the sweat dripping down your body. You casually reach in your bag, grab a second set of sunglasses and pop them on your nose while you swing your legs over the side of the lounge chair, considering your next move.

In that moment, your eyes catch on the steam now rising from the grill on the other side of the yard, Steve standing behind it ready to throw on a round of hot dogs to feed the ravenous troops. He's in navy blue swim trunks slung low and cut high, sunglasses perched on his head and a scowl of concentration on his brow. You selfishly pause for a moment to take him in, standing there so much more a man these days than before, but you quickly shake it off like you always have and make your way back over to the coolers, reaching in for a new can of beer and a handful of ice.

Behind the grill, Steve is doing everything he can to hold it together. He's kept himself busy today, lucky enough to be able to hide behind playing host in order to avoid suspicion. His issue isn't even the holiday - he doesn't need the 4th of July to remind him of his torture. He has chronic headaches and a ringing in his left ear to take care of that. His issue is you. You and the new view he has of you now that he's standing there behind the steaming hot dogs.

He takes a moment to gather himself, running both hands through his hair. You've never been one to fall for his charms. Not the King Steve brand nor the genuine yet still cavalier one that came after he actually got his shit together. He never did shy away from poking and prodding and exploring what he could get away with, but you…you always threw it right back at him. Playing what you assumed was a game of banter meant to keep each other on your toes - what he assumed was your attempt to remind him that you never really chose to be his friend. Despite everything you have gone through together, your friendship still felt a mile away from him and any semblance of a chance with you arguably further. He knows how you feel - felt? - about King Steve and he's pretty sure you being in his life is meant to be yet another reminder of what a shit person he used to be. So instead he settles for teasing and friendly yet biting remarks all soothed by his own fleeting glances.

And God damnit if he isn't cashing in on those fleeting glances today. He's pretty sure he's had to duck away inside the house at least twice to hide his half hard cock as he caught a glimpse of you sunbathing, sweat glistening on your tits in your festive red bikini or bending over, ass on full display, leaning deep into the cooler to pass out another round of beers to the group, including the kids who are now old enough for no one to give a shit if they have one, too. It's a challenge he wasn't aware he needed to be ready for. A battle of wills that makes tossing a molotov cocktail at an otherworldly monster seem like child's play.

Yet here he stands, making himself as busy as he fuckin can at the grill while you pass back over with a group to sit down again on the lounge chairs. Someone turns the radio up while you and Robin stand up and start belting out Wilson Phillips' "Hold On" to whoops and cheers from everyone around you. It's in that moment he slides his sunglasses down off his head knowing full well he will not be able to pretend he isn't watching you intently without the safety of his dark shades covering his eyes. He's taking deep breaths counting the hot dogs back and forth and back and forth again to ground himself when you run up next to him, out of breath from the sprint over, the singing, the dancing or all three combined and shove a can in his face.

"Can't forget the grill master, huh? Do me a favor and don't burn the dogs."

" Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks." He stumbled out. Normally he keeps his composure and plays his role giving you some bite in his responses, but you've already derailed him and he's pretty sure the sun is frying his brain while he's at it. So now you're here, standing there completely thrown off.

"You okay there, Harrington? "

He grumbles out a hum and you leave him be, figuring he may need a few more beers or a whole new personality, because every time you consider dropping the snarky act with him he totally blows you off and can't be bothered to speak to you in full sentences. He's come such a long way and you want to let the past be the past entirely, but you find that you're irritated with yourself for even looking his way when he acts like that, so you come to give it to him harder next time.

Everyone has settled in again with their fresh drinks and full bellies, some playing a card game on the pool deck, a group taking a break from the water spread out in the grass and others bobbing in the pool. You take the opportunity now that the pool is calm and all games of chicken are nowhere to be found and slide in too, deciding to be unbothered by whatever the fuck is going on with Steve. You grab a hold of a float and kick your feet up so you're floating on your belly, arms folded on your float and head turned to the side resting in the cool water. After a best of silence you spin yourself around, ready to strike up a conversation with Nancy about her own post-college plans when you catch it. The sunglasses are just low enough on the bridge of his nose to catch a glimpse of the direction of his eyes and you are one thousand percent sure that before you turned your float around abruptly, Steve Harrington was staring hard at your ass. Fuckin typical.

Your conversations continue to flow, you join in on games of Rummy and races in the pool. You find yourself shoulder to shoulder with Max on your towels in the grass giving the girl the kind of advice you know she needs. And all the while you feel his eyes. You thought the first one was a fluke - of course Steve Harrington would oggle any ass put in his view - but now you're not so sure. Because normally with you, he'd follow up his blatant stare with some kind of bite or tease, telling you to put your ass away before someone uses it as a flotation device. Instead every time you think you might be catching him staring you down behind his sunglasses he makes himself busy and jams another hotdog in his mouth. At this point you think he's eaten at least 6.

It's late now, and the group starts moving inside, picking a movie and settling in cozy spaces to wind down from the day. Everyone falls into their normal movie night rhythms, bickering over movies, Dustin talking through the opening credits and flicking the lights off for the ambiance. You find yourself in your favorite movie night chair, giant Hawkins High Tshirt slung over your now dry bikini, feet with red painted toes hanging over the armrest, when you're certain you feel it again - eyes on you in the dark of the room.

Robins first to fall asleep, unabashed snores falling from her for far too long before Steve nudges her and tells her to go the fuck upstairs and get to bed already. He leaves to set her up in one of the guest rooms and you can hear now that instead of returning to the movie hes clanging around the kitchen cleaning up from the day. The others also start, sun-beat and slightly buzzed, nodding off into a comfortable slumber around you, and you don't hear Steve padding around the kitchen any longer, so you also assume he has packed it in and went to bed.

When you quietly snuck back outside, walking while shedding your oversized t-shirt yet again in favor of a quiet moment in the Harrington's new hot tub under the stars, the last thing you were expecting to see when the shirt lifted over your head was Steve, already perched there in the bubbles.

" I thought for sure you had already gone to bed. " You say into the silence. He has yet to really acknowledge you so now you're even more confused than before.

At this point, you're fully committed, shirt already off so you climb in, with or without his permission to join. Dipping your toes in and lowering yourself into the jets, you catch him looking before he looks away and you've about had it. You know you might come off strong here, maybe a bit bitchy…and the way he's sitting there with shoulders freckled by the sun and his chest hair all on display under the jets has you second guessing your frustrated emotions, but you don't let what's in front of you distract you. You stick to your guns and open your mouth.

"What the fuck is your problem today, Harrington. I know we're not the closest, but I thought we were friends and I'm not sure what I did to offend you?"

" Offend me? I - uh, shit. What do you mean? "

" Well you won't stop staring me down today, so either I did something to offend you or you can't help yourself enjoying this fucking impeccable view. " And as you say it, you genuinely feel that it's just a normal bite back. A tease that is on par for your friendship. It's when you see the look on his face after you say it that changes everything. He looks like a puppy dog. One that's waiting to be kicked after sifting through the garbage. Like a little kid with their hand in the cookie jar. Like he's just been caught red white and blue handed at his own fucking 4th of July picnic because he wasn't able to tear his eyes away from your body. Oh my God.

"I-it's not, I mean...I...guess it is, fuck. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. Y-you just… . "

You watch him stumble over his words - a literal feat for someone who used to wear a crown like King Steve - and see him slowly slink down until only his eyes and nose remain above the bubbling water, shutting himself up without fail. Of course he acts like this with you. How is he supposed to ever convince you he's not an ounce of that old disgusting version of Steve if he can't act civilized around you even when you're in a bathing suit. His eyes closed slowly before he squeezes them tight. He can't will himself to look at you because he's so fucking embarrassed and he doesn't want to talk about it, but you - your not dropping it. You can't.

"Steve, you fucking look at me right now."

He slowly opens his eyes, keeping half his face still submerged in the water to ensure he doesn't say anything else so utterly stupid or make you any more mad at him than you clearly are. He looks at you so intently, directly in your eyes almost without blinking and you don't think anyone has ever seen that far into you before in your life.

"Were you spending the day checking me out?" you say, softer than he expected.

He slides up, ready to explain and admit his transgressions "yeah I mean, listen, I really didn't think anyone noticed, especially you... "

" Oh my God, you really were shoving hot dogs in your face to try and throw me off, weren't you? "

" Holy shit, yeah I ate like 10. Fuck, it was that obvious? That's so embarrassing. I really need to get a grip. You just looked so good today and I was probably just distracted and I'm sorry - " eyes closed again in utter shame, completely word vomiting his explanation to you across the water.

But before he could apologize again or continue his ramble, you moved quickly across the hot tub, slotting yourself low, down at his level and between his wide spread legs. He opens his eyes when he feels you floating in his space, noses almost touching, chins just under the bubbling water, and you are eye to eye now. He hesitates, thrown off by your proximity, before smashing his lips into yours. It's rough and sloppy and the water is sloshing everywhere as he brings you in closer by the hips so your legs settle in on each side of his.

And he can't help it, he breaks away and starts in again on it "I'm sorry, I - oh my God" he gasps out as you cut him off by grinding your bikini clad core down hard on his dick.

"I swear to God Harrington, if you apologize one more time I'm climbing off right this second" he nods, enthusiastically, fervently as you reach down into the water, between both of your legs and give him a nice firm squeeze. His eyes roll back in his head and he gasps.

"I swear I'm not apologizing, but Jesus Christ, I don't deserve this. You - I don't deserve you but not even this little bit - Fuck!" You grab his shoulder tight, holding on to give your hips another firm roll back and forth and decide to get a little soft and card your free hand through his hair as he babbles.

"I know what you see when you look at me - ah, sh-shit" you roll again but he reaches up and grabs both sides of your face to get you to stop and look at him "I know who I was, but I know you like to make me remember it too, so I never thought… I know I'm better. Fuck, I know it, but I don't know why anyone who knows how I was back then even gives me the time of day. "

You reach up and grab the sides of his face, too. Challenging his unwavering eye contact with your own, you lean in and give him the softest kiss he could have ever imagined, raking your hands back through his hair and tilting his head back a bit to look up at you. From this angle he sees the stars behind you and questions what kind of penance he did these past few years to deserve this moment.

✨

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 14C: Where Do We Go Now?

Soundtrack: “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses, 1987 [click here to listen]

Where do we go now?

Where do we go now?

Where do we go?

- Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (1987)

Tucson || July 1988

AA met every Thursday in a church hall not far from the studio. She’d borrowed Bobby’s Trans Am to drive Jamie, holding his hand the whole way, hearing about his chat with Alec – who had graciously agreed during their January trip to New York to be Jamie’s sponsor.

She kissed him when he went inside. Needing some peace and quiet of her own, in the car, as she waited.

She had tried NA off and on, but it hadn’t really clicked. She was so very happy that AA really worked for Jamie – it was always much easier for him to open up to perfect strangers – and she was grateful that he could get the support he needed, at a moment’s notice, in any city.

Not to mention that the Friends of Bill took the “anonymous” in Alcoholics Anonymous quite seriously – meaning, in those meetings Jamie was just Jamie the alcoholic, not Jamie Fraser the frontman of Print, not the rock star. Just a man who fought daily battles with addiction, who was trying to be better, who just so happened to have the number six record in the country today.

It was hard. It was always going to be hard. But he was worth it. The life they had together was worth it.

She pulled out the folded envelope. Smoothed the creases against the steering wheel. Reading and reading and re-reading the return address.

Listening to Guns N’ Roses and Def Leppard and Poison and Cheap Trick on the radio.

She didn’t see Jamie cross the parking lot. Jumped when he slid into the passenger seat, smiling, with a kiss.

“Hey.”

She offered a tight smile. “Hey. How are you?”

“Much better.”

His gaze found the envelope.

He didn’t need to say anything.

She couldn’t say anything.

But now that he was here, she opened it.

Held out the single sheet of paper.

They read.

Dr. Claire Beauchamp

via Colum Laird, Broch Productions

Dear Dr. Beauchamp,

Thank you for your letter and providing a forwarding address. Three months ago, the BMC board unanimously voted to terminate your employment. For legal reasons we will not provide further details, and the board’s decision is final.

However, we have communicated to the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that your medical license should be restored, with the provision that you no longer practice medicine in any kind of high-stress environment. You may contact the medical board at the below address to request a copy of…

Jamie watched Claire read and re-read and re-read.

“Sweet Child O’ Mine” played softly on the radio.

A long, long moment.

The song shifted to the bridge.

Where do we go now, sweet child? Axl Rose murmured.

Jamie took a breath. “Where do we go now, Claire?” he whispered.

She folded the paper and put it back in the envelope. Laid it on the dash. Reached beneath her shirt to pull the long chain up over her neck. Settled her left hand on Jamie’s thigh, skin hot through his jeans.

Jamie unclasped the chain, letting his grandmother’s engagement ring slide free. He slipped the ring onto her finger. Brought her hand to his lips, kissing so softly.

“I’d like us to have an extra day in Boston when we’re there next week. So that we can pack up my apartment.”

She was looking through the windshield, face turned to him in profile.

“Yes. What else?”

“I’d like a little house in the mountains of North Carolina. Not too far from The Ridge. It’s so beautiful and peaceful there. I’m sure Dougal and Gillian can help us find something.”

Gently he bit her knuckles. “Something small. Kitchen and living room. Bedroom for us. A room I can use for music. And a room for your medicine.”

She nodded. “I’ll transfer my license – I’ve already looked into how to do that. I can file the paperwork when we get to Boston. I don’t know if I want to be in a private practice, or just volunteer in a clinic, or maybe something else. We’ll get settled, and then we’ll decide.”

“We will. I – are you happy, Claire?”

She smiled tightly. “More…relieved. And yes, I’m happy, Jamie. Happy to be free. Happy to be marrying you.”

They sat in silence for a long while. Listening to the final notes of Slash’s guitar. And then the first two minutes of INXS and “New Sensation”.

Memory flared – the last time she heard this song was the one time she’d seen Jamie nude, changing into his leather pants backstage in Orlando, when she’d entered his dressing room without knocking.

She swallowed. “I want the house to have at least one spare bedroom.”

He laced their fingers. “Of course – for guests.”

She flushed. Finally met his eyes.

“Yes. And for children.”

He released a suddenly shaky breath. “Oh, my love. Yes.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m never taking this ring off again.”

He leaned across the console and kissed her. Kissed her. Kissed her.

[hellsw0rth]

Here it is! Doomsday in the style of 1976.

TWO MINUTE PREVIEW. FULL TRACK ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.

I was initially going to come up with a story to explain how the Doomsday scenario could happen in Season 14. Maybe Sarah-Jane was whisked away at the end of The Hand of Fear, as part of a backup plan by the Master and Chancellor Goth, and the Doctor found out about this, and talked with her at the end of The Deadly Assassin using Time Lord technology on Gallifrey.

But I thought it would be better to let you come up with your own ideas to explain how Sarah-Jane could get separated from the Doctor in a parallel universe, and how he managed to communicate with her. Feel free to share your thoughts about how this could happen, in the comments. I'd be very keen to hear how you think it could have worked!

I took inspiration from the soundtrack of The Deadly Assassin to come up with the instruments to use for this. There's heavy woodwind (oboes and bassoon's) and one of the backing instruments is an organ which featured prominently in that story. I tried to balance both authenticity with emotion and nostalgia - a balance I try to strike with most of my remixes. So, before anyone comments "this doesn't completely sound like it's from 1976", this is why. Tracks like this would not have featured in Classic Who, and to strip it down and make it as authentic as possible, much of the emotion and nostalgia would have been removed (in my opinion, anyway) that means it deviates massively from what I'm trying to do.

There are some brilliant creators out there who do an incredible job of making 'era authentic' music. @HudsonMedia and @GeorgeCMusic are two examples of creators who do a phenomenal job of this, and deserve infinitely more praise than they get for their efforts. I admire their work immensely, and would encourage you to subscribe to their channels.

My approach is to echo the nostalgia and emotion attached to the original track while making it sound like it *could* have sounded in the era being channeled. This is done by taking the original track and 'plugging in' the instruments or sounds of the era. My work has been described as "bombastic", "fun", and "emotional", which is what I try to prioritise with my mixes. That's a long winded way of saying that if anyone says 'it doesn't sound like the 70's' that I KNOW!

Also, I know someone is going to comment "this, but the 1960's" or something similar. I'm receptive to suggestions for future releases, but lately the suggestions have been more like a demand or insistence than a suggestion for the future. I've been getting a bit uncomfortable with the degree to which people have been saying 'do this', like they have the right to demand something from me. Like I said, I'm very receptive to suggestions, and several of my releases have been the result of a suggestion, but please don't phrase it in a way that shows you have the right to tell me what to do. I don't claim any monetary reward for this work, and I'm very unlikely to ever start some sort of monetary reward platform for these, for ethical reasons (it's copyrighted music, and I use sheet music and/or MIDI files made by other people). So, this work isn't rewarded by money, and it's something I do in my spare time, both as a therapeutic distraction from a tumultuous personal life, and as procrastination from my PhD. So, please phrase your suggestions a little more respectfully.

Lastly, I wondered about releasing this in July, being the 18th anniversary of Doomsday. But it seemed too far away, and as the Majestic Tale (1970s) is taking a lot longer to work on, I thought this would make for a decent release in the meantime.

Enjoy!

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Scenes From an Italian Restaurant:

WC: 2,000

Syd/Carmy falling in love to the soundtrack of Billy Joel, idk

It's past midnight, but Carmy & Syd still haven't finished closing. It might have something to do with the fact that neither of them can sleep without nightmares at home, and that there's something uniquely comforting about having another person with an equally fucked up sleep schedule to silently work with well into the early hours of the morning. They rarely talk while they're working like this; a blurry, unfocused period somewhere between opening and closing, things that do not strictly need to be done, but that they both take pride in doing anyway. It's their fucking restaurant, they both seem to enjoy treating it like a child they're co-helicopter-parenting.

This particular night, Carmy is in the kitchen doing food prep & Syd is sweeping up the dining area. It's quiet enough to hear herself breathe in, and the silence is getting annoying, so she finds herself sweeping toward the kitchen, peeking through to look at Carmy. As she gets closer to him, she hears him... muttering to himself, maybe? No, that's not it. She walks closer, slipping into the kitchen as quietly as she can, and realizes he's... singing. Carmy Berzatto. Singing. In the kitchen.

Her first impulse is to laugh but she stops herself.

He's kind of... good.

She listens for a little while, mesmerized, trying to make out the lyrics.

A bottle of red, a bottle of white. It all depends on your appetite. I’ll meet you anytime you want, in our Italian restaurant.

She moves slightly and Carmy freezes like a scared deer in the fucking forest, of course. His eyes are so wide and scared, Syd almost feels bad, so she tries to break the tension.

“Didn’t realize you moonlighted as a singer,” she says with an awkward smirk, leaning on her broom. “Did you write that?”

Carmy’s eyes narrow. “Did I— did you just ask me if I wrote that?”

Syd shrugs slightly, sensing she’s made an error.

“It’s Billy Joel,” Carmy says, looking genuinely concerned that she’s lacking this crucial piece of information.

“Okay, sorry, I’m not, like, Italian… and into 70’s music,” Syd says, with a dry, sarcastic smile.

“No, no, but this is a classic song,” Carmy says, “I mean, this is just a good song.”

Sydney just stares at him blankly. “I wouldn’t know,” she says.

“Alright, something’s gotta be done about this,” Carmy says with a disapproving shake of his head, tone as serious as it might be if he was noticing a typo on a menu or a smudge on a plate. He unplugs his headphones from his phone, walking to the restaurant’s sound system and connecting his phone.

A jazzy piano song overtakes the speakers, Carmy pausing to crank up the volume to far above their normal level before turning back to Syd with a smile on his face.

“Cold beer, hot lights, my sweet romantic teenage nights,” the voice of Billy Joel (apparently) sings out over the speakers of their restaurant. Carmy looks at her expectantly. Syd raises an eyebrow.

“It’s… loud,” she says.

“No, no, no,” Carmy says, rolling his eyes, infuriatingly smooth Italian-American vowels softening out as he speaks, an unquantifiable accent that Sydney is pretty sure is going to actually kill her one day. “It tells a story,” Carmy insists, turning back to his prep, chopping vegetables to the beat of the song, talk-singing along with the song, back turned to Sydney. “Brenda and Eddie were still going steady in the summer of ‘75, when they decided the marriage would be at the end of July.”

Sydney can’t help the laugh she lets out. Carmy spins around, an indignant smile on his face.

“Stop looking at me like I’m crazy,” he says, “you’re the one who doesn’t know Billy Joel.”

“I do know some Billy Joel,” Syd says. “Just not this Billy Joel.”

“Well I'm showing you this Billy Joel,” Carmy says. “Listen. Come on, you’re not listening to it. This is good music.”

He sets down his knife, walking over to her, holding out a hand.

Something in the pit of Sydney’s stomach fires off like an over-excited fire-cracker.

“Are you seriously trying to dance with me right now,” she asks flatly, glancing between his face and his extended hand, trying her very best to hold her sarcasm out in front of her like a shield against whatever fuckary this is.

Carmy’s smile fades, just for an instant. Sydney can’t stand it. She rolls her eyes, and takes his hand. Immediately, he grins, spinning her around him. She can’t help but smile. Carmy reaches out for her other hand, pulling her in on one side and pushing her away on the other, awkward high-school-dance moves that a grown man should probably not be pulling on her right now, and should certainly not be working as well as they are.

She meets his eyes, wide grin, slight flush, hair even more disheveled than usual. For a second, she just stares at him, forgetting to dance, forgetting to smile. Carmy, oblivious, is still singing.

“They parted the closest of friends, then the king and the queen went back to the green, but you can never go back there again, no no.”

Fuck.

She shakes her head ruefully, spinning him around to break their eye contact. And okay, maybe she spun him away from her slightly too hard because his hand slips out of hers and he stumbles a few steps away from her, laughing, and then, in a flash of movement, moving back to her, one hand coming to her lower back, the other settling around her shoulders pulling her into his chest, still laughing, still red in the face, breathing slightly heavier than usual, vocalizing Billy fucking Joel right into her ear.

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck?

Is she slow dancing with Carmen fucking Berzatto in their kitchen right now?

He’s ridiculously warm in a white tee shirt and jeans, solid and impossibly, weirdly soft, leaning heavily against her, breathing against her neck, smelling like kitchen spices and sweat. This is simply not fair. This is… seriously outside anything normal or manageable. Carmy’s hand on her lower back is keeping her in place against him, stomach to stomach, fingertips splayed out across her back.

She’s stopped moving, she realizes. Carmy stops too after a moment, but he’s still pressed against her, still smiling slightly. Syd lets out a short, nervous laugh.

“Is this weird?” Carmy asks, voice low, unsure, still holding her close—maybe so he doesn’t have to look her in the eye, maybe so he can just rest his chin against her shoulder for a little longer.

Very slowly, Sydney brings a hand to the space between Carmy’s shoulder blades, just resting it there. “Kind of, yeah,” she says. “But not bad weird.”

“Fuck, sometimes… it’s like I forget to be nervous in front of you,” Carmy says—quick, breathless words, slowly pulling back from her, an embarrassed little smile on his face. “And I make a fuckin’ fool of myself before I realize I’m doing it.”

Sydney smirks back at him. “Well it’s kind of too late to fool me into thinking you’re cool,” she says. “Might as well stop being nervous about it. I mean, that ship has sailed.”

Carmy laughs, shaking his head, going a bit redder in the face. “I just really want you to like Billy Joel,” he says.

Syd smiles. “No, I do,” she says. “I totally do like him. I really like him.”

“He has other good songs,” Carmy says. “I always liked this one though. I was like fourteen, thinkin’ I was gonna meet a girl and take her to an Italian restaurant and get… fucking married at twenty. Talk about a ship that’s sailed.”

He goes quiet.

Over the speaker, Billy Joel is still singing.

“A bottle of red, oh a bottle of white, whatever kind of mood you’re in tonight. I’ll meet you anytime you want, in our Italian restaurant.”

“It kind of did work out though,” Sydney says, over the last few chords of the song, “I mean, you do in fact own an Italian restaurant.”

“Yeah,” Carmy says, a boyish smile crossing his face. His expression lingers on her for a long moment.

The song ends, and abruptly, loud guitar chords blare through the kitchen.

“Oh my God,” Carmy says, grinning, the tension of the moment entirely shattered. “Fuckin’ love this one.”

He crosses back to his prep station, picking his knife and returning to his work like nothing happened, bobbing his head and singing, “You had to be a big shot, didn’t you?”

Syd watches him for a little while longer before going back to her sweeping, making a mental note to never think of this night ever again. She’s not sure she could withstand the sheer force of her own stupid fucking yearning. Minutes pass. Half an hour. Carmy cycles through ten odd Billy Joel songs, and then—

“Hey, Syd!” Carmy calls from the kitchen.

Sydney turns, white-knuckling her broom handle, collecting herself for a moment before walking toward the sound of his voice.

When she reaches him, he gives her a crooked, slightly unsure smile.

“If it’s not bad weird," he says, "can we keep doing it?”

Her face burns. She stares at him for a long moment, trying to gauge whether he’s joking or not.

“I mean, can you come here again?” Carmy says, quieter, sounding slightly desperate, while she’s still trying to gauge his sincerity.

Wordlessly she steps toward him, heart pounding. He wraps his arms around her waist, exhaling heavily, chin returning to its place on her shoulder, An Innocent Man playing through the empty restaurant.

“Some people live with the fear of the touch, and the anger of having been a fool.”

Sydney’s not entirely sure how the night ends. It sort of blurs together; Carmy holding her against him, clasped hands, kitchen knives, food prep, sweeping, laughing, blushing, Billy Joel and Carmy’s singing voice. Eventually, Sydney in the doorway, bag slung over one shoulder, Carmy flushed and breathless from laughter, Sydney mentally filing away exactly how it sounds when Carmy says her name, out of breath and slightly desperate.

“I feel like I should apologize to you,” he says, but he's still smiling.

"Yeah you should apologize for not finishing your prep," she says, clinging to the remaining shreds of her self-respect as she stares at him. "Get that done. I need some fucking sleep."

"Yes, chef," Carmy promises softly, with a rueful look on his face. She turns to leave, but he speaks again. "Hey. "Thanks, Syd."

She turns back.

"For what?"

He shrugs, looking down at his feet.

"I just had a nice night."

"Yeah, me too, Bear," Sydney says, and then forces herself to walk away from him, out the door and into the Chicago cold.

Maybe the sleeplessness is making them both crazier than she realized.

Or maybe it's not just the sleeplessness.

Because she's pretty sure she's going to be thinking about exactly how Carmy's arms felt wrapped around her for the rest of her fucking life. And if that's not insanity, she doesn't know what is.

[fairytale-poll]

PRELIMINARY ROUND! MATCH 2 OUT OF 5 - BATTLE OF THE RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN'S CINDERELLA ADAPTATIONS!

Propaganda Under the Cut

Julie Andrews as Cinderella (1957 Movie):

((This movie is the Julie Andrew’s one.))

Lesley Ann Warrens as Cinderella (1965 Movie):

tbh I think that both other films for this version are superior to this one, but I want the full 128 bracket so I might as well submit this. Starring Lesley Ann Warren as Cinderella, it's a distinct remake of the Julie Andrews version (which was incredibly popular, but hadn't been filmed in color, thus the studio's decision to make a new one). It is admittedly more similar to the 1957 version than the 1997 version was, so if you don't want to accept it as its own story that's fine; but there *are* some differences in the script, songs, and acting choices for the characters. I haven't seen this version of the film since I was VERY young, so I can't speak on the quality or anything lol, but I remember that I really really liked it when I was five, before the 1997 version came out and consumed me lol. I had briefly considered submitting it earlier because it felt unfair to have Julie Andrews and Brandy Norwood both have a slot while poor Lesley Ann Warren was left out, but ultimately decided she probably wouldn't get very far. But now I'm reconsidering lol sooooo yeah. A third version of Rodger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella for your consideration XD

Brandy as Cinderella (1997 Movie):

Because she is so cute in this, I love her outfits before and after the transformation, and this movie is just such a good adaptation of Cinderella.

the 1997 cinderella movie is the best one ever to me like. you have whitney houston as the fairy godmother and brandy is so so so pretty and she's such an amazing cinderella. 10 minutes ago the best cinderella song of all time ever she sounded so good <3

does this movie even NEED propaganda?

Brandy Cinderella with Whitney Houston! Need I say more?

Brandy plays one of the best iterations of Cinderella actually.

I just think she's neat. Also she looked the best in the ball gown.

One of the most iconic Cinderellas of all time, Brandy brought tenderness, earnestness, and heartfelt poignancy that transformed the story and emphasized its humanity and themes of dreaming for the future. Her voice is celestial! The power of her performance is undeniable! As a lifelong Cinderella fan she was always one of my favorites.

A lot of children grew up watching this movie around the holidays.

This is my favorite version of Cinderella and Brandy absolutely KILLS IT as Cinderella!! Her voice is so sweet and beautiful. And her dress!! I love her peplum. ALSO HER BRAIDS MAKE A BUN AND ITS SO ADORABLE. just look up the soundtrack for this movie PLEASE.

Various Actresses as Cinderella in the 2015 Musical:

[No Propaganda Submitted]

[cherrylng]

Muse Retrospective Interviews [STYLE Series #004 - Muse (August 2010)] - Matthew Bellamy (July 2003)

“A person's life is made up of things on various levels, including the past, and I think the music that is born from the unification of these things can be said to be the purest form of expression.”

After the chaos caused by their debut with “Showbiz” and the success and breakthrough of “Origin of Symmetry,” the three members of Muse have finally been able to sit down and work on a new album. This is an official interview conducted in London just before the release of the album. The interview was conducted with Matthew, Dom, and Chris individually, in that order, and their confident attitude is well conveyed.

Interview and text by Kaoru Abe

Matthew Bellamy “The last two albums and the time spent on them have been a journey for me, so I thought it was time to punctuate and take a break.”

London, July 2003. The intense heat wave, later dubbed “the most destructive weather disaster in European history,” affected the UK, which does not need air conditioning, and even Muse's private studio, which was designated as the interview site, was in no condition for a proper talk unless all the windows were fully open. Despite this, Matthew Bellamy appeared with a cool face and was in a completely relaxed mood, playing his old piano mischievously during a chat before the interview. There was none of the tense atmosphere that I had felt when I interviewed him in London two years ago, nor was there the sense of innocence that I had felt on my first visit to Japan, but rather, there was a smooth, freshness of heart that had been peeled off.

The studio, located in a quiet residential area of East London, was a converted flat that no one would have guessed was owned by Muse, and it exuded a sense of everyday life that was far removed from his rock star image. When we entered the studio, I honestly could not believe that this was where the basic idea for “Absolution” was born, but Matthew's words, as he began to talk to us from his comfortable position on the old sofa, told us that a flat state of mind for the three of us was the key to the album's production. The fact that the interview took place in a private studio was also a factor and a smart move on the part of the band, as it allowed us to gain a deeper understanding of how the making of the album began with a return to their pre-debut selves.

The idea was born in the studio, and the album was then brought to fruition while traveling to studios in Ireland and Los Angeles, and through the whole process, the band seems to have untangled itself from the tangle brought about by its busy and extraordinary schedule. And when those tangles are completely untangled, the completed “Absolution” will naturally become close to the soul of Muse and to Matthew's soul. In this sense, it is self-evident that the album takes on a more personal color, both in terms of the band and Matthew, as evidenced by Matthew's fast-talking and eloquent words.

—The 2-CD “Hullabaloo Soundtrack” consists of the B-side collection of the singles released last year (2002) and the live performance. What was the meaning behind the subtitle “soundtrack”? Matthew: I named it that because the live part is the soundtrack aspect of the live DVD “Hullabaloo - Live at Le Zenith”. The DVD is sort of like a documentary film about Muse, a live band.

—Did you feel like you were resetting your mind by putting together the “past” of your B-side collection and the “present” of your live show? Matthew: Between “Showbiz” and “Origin of Symmetry,” I had been working nonstop, with no personal time at all, and at some point I realized that the two albums and the time spent on them were a journey for me. I felt it was time to hit a punctuation point, and that a new approach was needed, so I took some time off before moving on to the third album. So, as you say, the time leading up to the third album was a turning point for us.

—The double A-side single “Dead Star/In Your World” (2002) marked a transitional period for the band. Matthew: I would say it was more a part of the live DVD than a transitional period. We knew beforehand that those two songs would not be on the third album.

—I found it surprising that you covered “Can't Take My Eyes Off You” (by Frankie Valli) in “Dead Star/In Your World”. Matthew: We have released covers of “Feeling Good” (Nina Simone) and “Please Please Please” (The Smiths) in the past, but we have definitely dared to take songs that are different from our own musical style, including this one, in order to do something that Muse cannot do. By doing so, we may find a new direction, and there is a possibility of doing pop music in the future, so the covers are more of an experiment than just enjoying our favorite songs. Incidentally, “Can't Take My Eyes Off You” was inspired by a TV show called “Re:covered” (BBC Choice), which featured covers and original songs.

“My songwriting process starts with the sound first, then the lyrics, then the title, and so on, but I usually write down bits and pieces of phrases that come into my head, rather than being influenced by the sound.”

—The downloadable single “Stockholm Syndrome” is the prologue to “Absolution.” Why did you choose the title of the song, which is a self-brainwashing mental situation for the weak? Matthew: My songwriting process starts with the sound first, then the lyrics, then the title, and so on, but I usually write down bits and pieces of phrases that come into my head, rather than being influenced by the sound. In the case of “Stockholm Syndrome,” the title came from the overall picture of the lyrics, a kind of contradictory mental situation in which one is in an oppressive environment and yet feels a sense of happiness, but I did not want to give it a very specific meaning. So, depending on the listener, it could be taken as social oppression, domination by God, and relationships between humans. …… I did not want to give a specific meaning to the title. For the writer, it is just a vague image (laughs).

—What did you have in mind when creating the sound for “Stockholm Syndrome”? Matthew: I think it is basically a traditional rock track, but I was conscious of the dynamic changes. I think we were able to deviate from the typical rock flow by not softening it up at the chorus and adding a more intense rock element. In that sense, it might be similar to a “New Born”-like development. It's like a tsunami that crashes down with more waves on top of it.

—The recording of the album “Absolution” not only took a long time, but was also recorded in different environments, in England, Ireland, and Los Angeles. This must have kept the inspiration fresh. Matthew: The production started in this studio (the band's private studio). After we had the basics down here, we flew to Ireland, where we recorded strings and other orchestral sounds. I was actually under a lot of stress when I was working in London, so I went to Ireland for a change of environment. Unlike London, where there are many people, including people I know, there is really nothing around the studio, so I was able to concentrate on the music and work on it in a more personal time frame. We recorded the drums in a swimming pool, and since the place itself was like a farm, we experimented with sounds using farming tools that were lying around (laughs). After that, we flew to Los Angeles for mixing, where I was able to record some nice vocal harmonies. I quite like it myself, but don't you think it's good too? (laughs)

—As a lover of “Pet Sounds” (Beach Boys), I was also impressed by the exquisite harmonies. Matthew: That analogy is funny (laughs). I'll tell Chris later because I like him. We actually recorded it in the same studio where “Pet Sounds” was made. Maybe it's because we recorded it in the same place…… We may indeed have something in common in that eerie atmosphere (laughs).

—What are the musical benefits of having two opposite production environments, London and Ireland? Matthew: When you work in one studio all the time, you get too used to the sound. When you listen to the finished product again, it sounds monotonous or …… Even if you think the sound is good there, it often sounds boring when you play it in another studio. In that sense, it made a lot of sense to change the location. If the concept or structure of an album is focused on one thing, it is possible to settle down in one studio, but for an album like this, which is a collection of various themes, I thought it would be better to record in different places to give it more diversity in many ways. I thought it would be possible to add diversity in many ways if we recorded in different places.

—Regarding the diverse themes of the album, did the timing of its production coincide with the attack on Iraq by British and U.S. forces have any influence? Matthew: The songs themselves were mostly written before the Iraq war, so it didn't directly affect me, but the timing of the production coincided with the war, and I often witnessed massive protests at the time. So I think it affected my mood. Even though the song was already written, it gradually took on a different meaning. When the lyrics happened to coincide with the social situation of the time, the meaning was pulled toward that feeling…… That said, I never intended the songs to have a political meaning. This album focuses on feelings and moods, so for example, it depicts things like our own helplessness and the misuse of faith.

—Is this feeling or mood reflected in the title “Absolution,” which means “absolution”? Matthew: The powerlessness and misuse of faith that I mentioned earlier makes up about 40% of the album, and the other 60% is more personal. The (Iraqi) war also gave me a chance to think about the atmosphere of the times that it created, and it made me think that the trivial things around me were very valuable…… In retrospect, perhaps I was explaining the chaos within me by making music. The process of giving an easy-to-understand narrative to what I was feeling was the making of this album, and in doing so, I wanted to show that there are more important things in the world than what we see on a daily basis. It was also a very valuable experience for the band to be able to do that.

“I feel spiritual when I'm playing the piano, and when I'm playing the guitar, I feel like I have some sort of animal instinct within myself.”

—I think the persuasiveness of the musical narrative has been deepened by giving order to the chaos, not by expressing it as chaos, but by giving it a counterbalancing order in the form of a melody. I think this was also a major change this time around. Matthew: I think it was a very natural change for us, not a conscious one. First of all, by not doing anything for a while after last year's Reading Festival, we got ourselves back to where we were before “Showbiz”. When we started the band, we were just making music and playing for ourselves, but as we started to release our work, and as it was accepted by more and more people, not only the situation around us changed, but we changed as well. I think “Origin of Symmetry” was a clear representation of the chaos that came with such a change. This time, we had no schedule at all, and the time we spent on making the album allowed us to feel very free. We were able to change ourselves again and face the music with a fresh mindset, as if we were starting a new band. In fact, the last few months we have been living the kind of life that most people would do at home, and it has been a great opportunity for the members to get to know each other. So if there has been a change in our sound, it is because we have changed.

—It's a real “New Born” feeling. Matthew: (laughs) You could say that.

—As for Matthew himself, it seems that you have become more active as a pianist as well as a guitarist. I have heard that you have a lot of respect for (Sergei) Rachmaninoff, but was he a big influence on the piano you played this time? Matthew: Originally, I had in mind the piano sounds of early to mid Romanticism and early contemporary music (Franz Liszt and (Sergei) Prokofiev, for example), but in “Butterflies and Hurricanes,” I wanted to mix the dynamics of a piano concerto with those of a three-piece band. By doing so, I think we were able to express the strength of the emotional impact.

—What is the difference between a guitarist and a pianist in your mind? Matthew: I'm not naturally one to settle on one thing, so I tend to sing, play guitar, and play piano (laughs). But I have to do this and that, so I guess I'm at an average level in all areas now (laughs). When I play the piano, I feel spiritual, and when I play the guitar, I feel aggressive, like I have some kind of animal instinct. Interestingly, the moment I move to the piano after playing the guitar for a long time, I feel as if I am in heaven. I can write a song within two or three minutes of playing the piano, but on the other hand, when I play the piano for a long time and then move to the guitar, a tremendous amount of energy wells up from within, and music is born from there as well.

—The music of Muse, which burns from within, seems to give solid form to something spiritually formless. Matthew: I don't often listen to what I make myself, but when I listen to other people's music and watch them play, I feel a sense of security, or at least a good sense of certainty, about my own music. Maybe that's why I continue to play music. The reason I like classical music so much is that no matter how long after a composer's death, the music remains strong. In that sense, I feel a spirituality in my music, and that is something I would like to continue experimenting with in the future.

—What you just said reminded me of the words of the American writer Don DeLillo (“White Noise,” “Underworld,” etc.), who said, “The deeper you go into expression, the more naturally you are led back into your own consciousness.” Matthew: That is an interesting point. Especially in this case, it was a good opportunity for us to reevaluate ourselves and accept where we are now while making the album. I don't really know how we've changed. I can't remember what I was like before, so I can't compare it to what I am now (laughs).

—As for who you are now, I overheard it during the chat before the interview, but how does love influence the album? Matthew: There are a few songs that do. For example, “Falling Away With You” is about the chaos of love, but in a good way. And “Endlessly” is a straightforward love song.

—You never wrote a love song before? Matthew: I tried to write a love song around the time of “Showbiz,” but “Endlessly” is the first proper love song I've written (laughs). Even with previous songs, even though they had elements, they weren't all love songs.

—Finally, what does the album title “Absolution” mean? Matthew: Actually, I was more conscious of the meaning of “purity” than “absolution”. A person's life is made up of things on many different levels, including the past, but I think the music that comes from bringing those things together is a pure form of expression. I don't know how other people see it, but that's how I feel.

—I am looking forward to seeing how this work will be expressed in a live performance. Matthew: I already have a lot of ideas, and I would like to do something involving animation at some point. The first step would be to make a video, and then build the stage from there. I think it would be a good idea to include other musicians, such as a choir, and I'm looking forward to it myself.

Dom's interview

Chris' interview

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Shuffle your on-repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!*

*any playlist on any platform will do!

tagged by @bengiyo totally and completely unprompted…

Keep You Safe by The Crane Wives. I have no idea where this song came from in terms of my on repeat, as far as I can see it’s not in any of my playlists but I do listen to a couple Crane Wives songs so it’s presence makes sense.

Touch The Sky- From “Brave” Soundtrack by Julie Fowlis. This one popped up in my Pirate Mix that Spotify made me, I haven’t actually listened to it that many times but I’ve listened to that Mix quite a bit.

Rule #4- Fish in a Birdcage by Fish in a Birdcage. I love the strings and especially the cello in this song so much.

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives. This one is in the playlist I made for my D&D character who is possessed by a devil.

Thus Always to Tyrants by The Oh Hellos. This one also has popped up as a Spotify recommendation in a couple mixes and blends probably because I have a couple other The Oh Hellos songs in playlists I listen to frequently.

Simple Song by Elliot Park. This one i just added recently to a playlist for a new D&D character I’m preparing for a campaign. I made that character Deaf and this song is supposed to represent them finally gaining access to sign language and having a way to communicate.

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott. This one is on the playlist for my possessed D&D character as well. I love the visuals that are invoked in this song.

Gut Punch/Don’t Meet Your Idols by Everybody’s Worried About Owen. I think this one came to me through Discover Weekly and I’m obsessed with it.

Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil. Again on my possessed character’s playlist. Great one for wishing to be protect someone from harm.

Just a Man by Jorge Rivera-Herrans, EPIC Ensemble. To be quite honest I don’t really love this song. But I stumbled across it and it fits very very very well as a song for my *other* other D&D character whose children were killed, so I recently added this to her playlist as well.

Tagging @solitaryandwandering, @happypotato48, and @respectthepetty

[crybabyddl]

Just finished my rewatch of jatp. My perfrct track record of not crying during Unsaid Emily remains untouched. I will say though, I was very close to shedding a tear this time. However, I didn’t even cry during Stand Tall! I always cry during Stand Tall!

Anyways, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the headcanons and theories that us tumblr fantoms created and the little easter eggs we discovered while watching and rewatching the series. It makes me really appreciative of the fact that we had a sense of community during a time where a lot of us were alone, scared, and uninspired. Just like Julie, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and hope. I think that a lot of people felt the same after watching the show. Julie and the Phantoms is what inspired me to learn the piano, the ukulele, and it led me to getting a guitar. When I learned how to play the chords for the soundtrack, I was playing those songs nonstop. It really helped me brave through the unsure feelings that came along with the pandemic. It made me forget my fears about the future.

I don’t feel as hopeful about things as I did back then, but JATP will always be a land-marking point in my life. It represents newfound joy, reignited passion, and abundant vivacity. As someone who loves and is extremely passionate about music, this silly little netflix show really hit me in the most sensitive places. And while I remember having a bout of serious depression after finishing the series, (along with intense rage that while I was dealing with my depression at its lowest point, the cast of jatp was living what felt like my dream) the lessons I learned from the show were far more significant. It literally brought music back into my life, no joke.

The friends I made because of JATP will always have a special place in my heart. A lot of them don’t use tumblr anymore, and I don’t use it nearly as much as I used to, but I’m still so grateful to have been introduced to such kind, accepting, and funny people. The stories, theories, headcanons, fanfictions, moodboards, inside jokes, memes, and fanart we created will always be remembered and cherished. I’m still pro-cheesecake, I’m still highly allergic to sleeves, and every time I see an unnecessary or fake zipper, I think of my fellow tumblr fantoms.

I don’t think I’ll ever truly “get over” Julie and the Phantoms. It was the first thing that truly resonated with my spirit as a new adult. I was 19 and had dropped out of college, feeling completely lost and like I had nothing going for me. Going into lockdown because of the pandemic didn’t help with any of that, and I was aimlessly, endlessly scrolling on social media, hoping to find meaning and purpose. And one day, my friend posted a clip on snapchat of what she was watching on netflix. The guy was cute and it looked like him and the girl he was next to had a nice connection so I asked what show it was. That’s how I discovered JATP, almost 2 weeks after its release. I also just have an unhealthy attachment to the show and the characters so I refuse to let this media that speaks to my soul die.

All that being said, we really deserved another season. I think it would cure me entirely, if I’m being honest. Even if it was just a little Christmas special where they decorate a tree and do those mini stories like filler episodes of a cartoon series. Hell, I’d settle for an animated JATP episode. I just think we all deserve it after what we’ve been through not only as a fandom, but as human beings. I will never forgive netflix for it’s terrible job at promoting, because they only failed when it came to this show specifically. They managed to keep every other show, even ones far less deserving of acclaim and attention, afloat during and after the pandemic. The only reason JATP managed to get anywhere was solely the cast, creators, and fans. Paul Becker was on fucking overdrive, churning out BTS videos WEEKLY. Fanfiction writers were bursting at the seams with multi-chapter series and one shots about every possible scenario. We got things trending on twitter during the two most chronically online years. Fanart was being shared like crazy, and we had the instagram fantoms so confused by the memes that they retaliated and claimed they were superior.

Meanwhile, tumblr was in its shadowbanning era, and fantoms were in the TRENCHES trying to get their content to reach beyond mutuals and taglists. We received barely any appreciation, except for when we trended on twitter asking to renew jatp and on tumblr for jatp appreciation week. Let’s not forget when we thought Owen had a secret tumblr and we all started accusing each other of being him. I will never forget when we all rallied to get Madi to 1 million followers because we didn’t want her to become overshadowed by the boys and all the attention they were getting. We all watched their instagram lives and I will always love the tumblr fantoms who made gifs of the cutest moments from those. Everyone saw me shamelessly simp over Charlie with facial hair wearing a santa onesie. We created a whole Carrie redemption arc out of thin air, we created origin stories for Rose and the Petal Pushers, and we forced the creators of JATP to give us the official last names of Reggie, Alex, and Flynn (This adventure SPECIFICALLY!!!) We were ruthless in our efforts to uncover their last names. We used breadcrumbs to make theories and speculations, only to end up begging in every comment section and dm inbox we could to get Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer, and eventually—though much, much later—Flynn Taylor. We gave Willie more crop tops, we basically storyboarded a second season, complete with episode titles and songs! We uncovered the Sunset Curve EP using the grainiest photos in existence, we created a loose timeline surrounding everyone’s birthdays, deaths, and significant events. We orchestrated a fucking CONCERT TOUR for this band. Oh, and let’s not forget when Kenny and the boys went to Hawaii. That Hawaii trip was so eventful for the fantoms, you have no idea how serious I’m being unless you were there for it. That was something unlike anything else for so many reasons. There’s a lot more, but that’s the stuff that came to mind immediately.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 20/04/2024

5 Nights of Snop Dog

Season 1 Featured on: Five Nights at Freddy's Original Soundtrack

Ripped by The Living Tombstone

Requested by Sabybeal, fezaki, robvatopper and an anonymous reader! (Request Form, Discord)

Yes, you read the ripper's name right. The very same The Living Tombstone whose headlining Five Nights at Freddy's fan song was recently featured in the franchise's debut feature film, has three credits to his name on the SiIvaGunner channel. And while yes, there's lots to say on the latter two as well, his debut rip back in Season 1 has been THE most requested rip for me to cover on here for a very good reason. For the annual weed day of 4/20, I shall provide you all with your long-running request - 5 Nights of Snop Dog.

For as much as SiIvaGunner as a channel has grown over the years, it's easy to forget that it all just started with a group of SoundCloud shitposters fucking around. The indirect nature of the channel's usual content means that this history isn't exactly one that gets brought up a lot, you can find traces of it in rips like History of the Enemy and anecdotes from team members on Twitter or Discord, but it really isn't all that important to how the channel has evolved since. SiIvaGunner began as an evolution of ideas flirted around with by SoundCloud's shitpostier side - "SoundClown" - and gradually grew to form an all-new audience completely unaware of just how the channel was started to begin with. I wrote a narrative in my post on Shopping on Star Road that the rip felt extra impactful as a tribute from one side of SoundCloud to the other, but really - how many of you reading knew that the SiIvaGunner team had notable history on the platform?

Of course, all of this talk about SoundCloud and SiIvaGunner's origins all circles back to the channel's founder, Chaze the Chat. He's contributed to many a good rip that I've covered on here, be it passion projects like Everyday Goodbyes (SiIvaGunner Band Cover) or sillier stuff like Take You To The Desert - but sure enough, he was on SoundCloud making silly mashups as far back as mid-2015. In that timeframe before SiIvaGunner but during his mashup days, Chaze the Chat would receive an outright legendary comment on his profile, a comment that you'd see echoed from time to time in the early days of SiIvaGunner itself from others in on the joke. Sometime in 2015, user Crimpsonfang9 handed Chaze the Chat one very simple ask: "I have a request - its five nights of snop dog".

It's the kind of unintentionally hilarious thing that was bound to become a running gag, the perfect storm in so many ways. The misspelling of Snoop Dogg, the completely unclear idea for the mashup (what music does FNAF have to put snop dog in?), the idea that this would have to be requested rather than just made by the person themselves...SiIvaGunner itself would, and still do, get tons of requests from new fans, but if you want something made, the best way to do it is to get it done yourself - but for this one legendary request in particular, Chaze the Chat saw it fit to go the absolute extra mile. "Five Nights of snop dog" HAD to involve The Living Tombstone's Five Nights at Freddy's 1 Song, and what better way to get that done was there than to ask the man himself?

And so, on one July day, we were treated to 5 Nights of Snop Dog, with an opening dialogue directly referencing the inside joke, bringing it all full circle. The rip delivers exactly what you'd expect from that story and its title, with Drop It Like It's Hot's vocals tuned to sound like the ones in the FNAF Fansong, althewhile being synced and pitched to the former song's instrumental. Nowadays we have rips like Bloody Freddy doing much the same thing, made by people from the SiIvaGunner team itself, but to clarify - back in Season 1, back in 2016, NOBODY knew how to get these vocals to sound that way other than The Living Tombstone himself (And I don't even think we had the song's instrumentals available?). It's a bit similar to how Grand Dad Metropolis absolutely amazed people back in the day as a seemingly-impossible feat, but more than even that, 5 Nights of Snop Dog was the kind of rip that could've ONLY been made with The Living Tombstone's involvement. Amidst all the laughs at the meme finally being realized, I very clearly remember just how many people were full-on in awe at how good the rip sounded, marveling at its mere existence.

Granted, it is still a little rough around the edges - the robotic tuning of the Snoop Dogg vocals paired with the pitch shifting makes it a bit difficult to even identify what's being sung from time to time, but that doesn't mean this was in any way a rushjob. It's still a banger, for one, but also sprinkles in some tributes to SiIvaGunner itself, showing that this was more than just something the team paid TLT to do for them. There's of course the opening dialogue exchange mentioned before, there's the bit where the vocals are suddenly yet surprisingly seamlessly pitch-shifted to The Flintstones theme partway through, and the song signs off with the iconic introduction to The Next Episode - where Snoop is edited to introduce himself as "It's the motherfuckin' D-O-G", referencing Crimpsonfang9's original misspelling. Those are the kind of tiny touches that I absolutely live for: It reminds me of how all the Jay Eazy rips on the channel, like You Are Book Smart, eventually started editing the introductory "S-R-G" to just say "S-G" as a reference to the channel's name.

And, hey - speaking of Crimpsonfang9, he actually got to see 5 Nights of Snop Dog, and he's seemingly still following the channel today! A comment of his approval was left and pinned on the video, truly bringing it all full circle after over 7 months of waiting. He did it! The "five nights of snop dog" guy got what he wanted! And his legacy lives on even today with many of us oldheads who still follow the channel, as I still see the meme occasionally pop back up in comments sections from time to time, even showing up in videos on the channel sometimes I'm not mistaken. It's such a fun reminder of just how far the channel has come, how this gag started by a SoundCloud user who would get bizarre mashup requests by the handful of people who found his work, has grown into this massive community of enthusiasts - in some ways, I might not even be here writing this today if it wasn't for everything that 5 Nights of Snop Dog represents!

So, Crimpsonfang9 - Thanks for the request! It alone led to one of the most perfect examples of how SiIvaGunner loves to play with its fanbase, iterates on its in-jokes - and gives you the sort of payoff you'd never think would be possible.

[rillils]

OK BUT STUCKY LIVING TOGETHER WITH THE AVENGERS AND BUCKY LOVES TO WEAR FLOWER CROWNS AND OTHER NICE AND PRETTY STUFF AND AVENGERS THINKING HOW CUTE BUCKY IS AND BEING "DISGUSTED" (not actually tho) ABOUT HOW DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE STEVE AND BUCKY ARE AND BUCKY DENYING THAT HES CUTE AND HIM DOING A CUTE POUTY FACE AND THE OTHER AVENGERS THINKING THATS CUTE AS WELL ALL THE WHILE STEVE IS STANDING THERE JUST WATCHING HIM WITH THE ABSOLUTELY BIGGEST FRICKITJN HEART EYES EVER AND AND YEAH

NONNIE, OH NONNIE MY LOVE, GOD BLESS YOU SO SO MUCH, DARLING 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 I don't know if you're the same lovely nonnie from the Thor + jealous Steve ask (if you are, then I thank you not 1000, but 2000 times!! 😘😘😘), but either way I LOVE YOU and thank you for bringing such preciousness to my inbox 💕💕💕 I simply adore this trope, and indeed I think this is one of the million opportunities the mcu wasted - so here, I wrote a silly little thing for you that I hope you will enjoy :3

1.5k words under the cut!

*

The popcorn kernels hit the bottom of the pan with a happy little tinkle, all tin-tiling-a-ling, spilling like summer hail out of the box. Steve barely hears the sound over the sudden burst of laughter coming from the living room, which – and here comes the pleasant surprise – is the baseline soundtrack of all their game nights lately, and he finds himself grinning along with it as he turns the stove on. Who knows, maybe Lucky went hurtling straight into Tony’s house of UNO cards again.

“Aw Barnes, you’re so cute, man,” Clint – of course it’s Clint – slurs through a mouthful of– possibly a pizza pocket. Could be a coupla pigs in a blanket getting shmooshed in there, though.

Bucky’s reply comes through gritted teeth and positively dripping with indignation. “I am not. Cute.”

Oh yes, ooh yes you are, Steve’s brain supplies instantly, and he steals a quick glance (do 37 seconds still qualify as quick?)– a quick glance towards the couch, where Bucky’s currently demonstrating his Eternal Glower of Profound Betrayal. Dark brows pulled tight together, pursed lips just entering the Hardcore Sulking stage, icing sugar caught in his stubble, and the sight alone makes Steve’s heart feel tender and juicy like chicken thighs after six hours in a slow cooker. Could pull him apart with a spoon, he’s so sweet on the guy.

And God but is Bucky cute; cute doesn’t even begin to cover it. In his new fluffy sweater with the kitty prints, the neon-green pj bottoms, and his arms and legs crossed stubbornly in a full-body pout, he’s just about the cutest thing Steve’s lucky, lucky eyes have ever seen.

He’s wearing his second-favorite flower crown, too – a half a wreath of the most delicate fake cherry blossoms that make the steel blue of his irises pop like goddamn fireworks on the fourth of July. The first time little Cassie caught sight of Bucky in that, she dubbed him an Actual Princess, very earnestly adding that he looked, and dare she say it, prettier than Rapunzel, thus producing the loveliest shade of bubblegum pink all over Bucky’s cheeks – a color which Steve has been trying to recreate, with much patience and dedication, with the loving touch of his fingers and the filthiest words he can fit in his mouth, if only to see how far down Bucky’s body he can get it to reach.

In other words, yes – he’s very much on Clint’s side on this one.

“The man’s right, Barton, he’s not cute,” Sam chimes in, his toothgapped grin all but glinting with mischief. “I believe the word you’re looking for is adorable.”

Amen to that, brother, Steve thinks to himself, just barely remembering to cover the pan before the popcorn starts popcornin’ right into his face.

“Fuck off, Wilson,” Bucky replies, helpfully illustrating the anatomy of a middle finger for Sam’s special benefit.

“Excuse me,” Tony pipes up, one UNO Reverse card tucked behind his ear and two more balanced precariously on top of his multi-story card tower, “I would urge all of you people to consider a true evergreen. The all-powerful, the all-encompassing, the one and only: precious.”

A chorus of cooing noises erupts across the room, rippling from body to body all around the coffee table, until Scott’s arm is shooting up, phone a-wiggling in the air.

“Wait wait wait, I’ve got one– JARVIS, if you please?”

There is a beat of silence. Then the AI’s voice echoes through the entire floor, somewhat mortified.

“As per Mr. Lang’s request, I submit for your perusal an animated Graphic Interchange Format, depicting a small child with cartoonish features, who appears to be holding an overlarge stuffed toy in the shape of a unicorn. The script beneath it reads, It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die.”

The GIF in question starts playing on loop on every screen available in the room – including the one that occupies the entire length of a wall – and the little crowd immediately explodes in a symphony of cackles and excited “Yes!”s and “Spot on”s and “Look Barnes, it’s you!”.

“I hate all of you,” Bucky grumbles, seemingly resigned to his fate; but Steve doesn’t miss the amused twinkle in his eye, nor the subtle curl in the corner of his pouty mouth.

Bucky’s gaze finds him, bright and beautiful, and they exchange a long look across the living room’s open space – intimate, somehow, even over the ruckus caused by their merrymaking friends.

And it might be the popcorn beginning to knock into the lid under Steve’s hand, but there’s something here, fizzing in the tips of his fingers, tingling at the base of his neck; something bubbly and sweet filling up his chest, that he just can’t keep a lid on tonight.

When he sees Nat perched on the backrest just behind Bucky, tugging on his half-braided hair and pleasantly threatening, You move your head again and I’ll bite your ears off – and Bucky drawls out a soft little Sorrey for her, but he keeps grinning up at Steve, his eyes like the shimmer of sunlight on clear waters.

When he finds Clint trying to stick fridge magnets to Bucky’s vibranium arm even through his fuzzy sleeve, then dragging Sam into it too like Hey man, check this out, and from there it’s all about how many times they can spell ‘DICK’ on him before Bucky notices and shoves them both off the couch.

Even when Thor interrupts his Mario Kart showdown with Bruce to offer, “Personally, I find it quite a dashing look – although in my experience, fresh flowers improve it tenfold. STEVEN! You must provide your beloved with fresh flowers for his hair every day! It’s tradition!”

And amongst all the snacks laid out before him, the teasing smile on Bucky’s lips is still the only thing Steve wants to taste tonight.

“You hear that, Steven?” Says his beloved.

Steve adores him. Steve would worship the ground his green-socked feet walk on. “Loud and clear, baby.”

Ohh, it’s worth saying it just for the lovely blush it puts on the apples of Bucky’s cheeks, rosey pink and delicious; and maybe, yeah, maybe even for the outburst of catcalls and Get-a-room’s it gets him, the second the word is out of his mouth.

“Aww, he said baby~”

“That’s so cute, you guys–”

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

“No, shut up– if you two lovebirds start making out in front of me again, I will throw up in the guacamole bowl and it won’t be pretty.”

“Nah, don’t you listen to this old sourball here, this is a PDA-friendly zone! If you guys feel like a bit of canoodling, some squeezin’ and a-lovin’–”

“Yo Rogers, that popcorn about ready or you still growin’ it?”

And. And Steve loves it. This– this, right here. It’s pure unadulterated chaos sometimes – all right, most of the time – but he can hardly picture his life without a healthy dose of this anymore.

Four years ago, he was a shell of a man; raw pulp under a too-thin rind, the chill of ice still creeping in his veins, with barely the will to see another day.

 Two years ago, he found something he’d thought he’d lost forever to the sharp embrace of a frost-coated ravine. Hope. And what a powerful fuel that proved to be.

Ten months ago, when Bucky first sought his kisses again, and slipped into his arms as easy as if he’d never ever left them at all, Steve rediscovered the meaning of bliss. He had everything he needed. Everything he’d dreamed of, night after day after night. What more could he have wished for?

Today, an unexpected answer presents itself to him.

“Hey, pass the chips, will you?”

“You think we’ve got any caramel sauce?”

“If you unleash one more of those green shells upon me, then so help me Odin–”

This. He wants this, with no name to put to it, except for the way it makes him feel inside. This thing that fills a room, warm and lovely, like hot chocolate poured in a cup, and feels so much like an embrace. Like coming in from the cold.

He never would have dared to wish for it. Hell, he didn’t even think he could afford to ask for it, but now that it’s here, he finds he’s hungry for it; and it doesn’t feel like greed at all. It just feels– good.

He’s only vaguely aware of Sam walking up to him, handing him an empty bowl to pour the fresh popcorn in. His brown eyes are gentle, knowing – but then, Sam always seems to know something Steve doesn’t.

“Happy’s a good look on you, man,” Sam says, and this smile, ah, this Steve couldn’t hold back if he tried with all his might.

He looks over to the couch, where Bucky’s holding his belly as he laughs, head thrown back and flower crown drooping perilously over his eyes. Steve is smiling so hard, it hurts.

“Thanks, man.”

[kamenstranger]

Before I dive into this review proper I want to give a heads-up that I am about to get into book spoilers and will be approaching this review with the assumption you've read the source material, which the show also expects. Likewise, I cannot talk about the show without getting into spoilers, due to the very nature of it. If you want my one piece of spoiler-free advice; think of it as a spin-off. Cause it kinda is. You'll have a much better time in that "What If?/Elseworlds" mindset.

If spoilers are cool with you, let's jump into it.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with the series in 2010. I was about 17/18 when I first got into the series. The 6th book wasn't out yet, and I can't even remember how I got into the series to begin with. But I believe I ordered volume 1 followed by 2-5 as soon as I finished, or maybe I went all in. I know for a fact I preordered vol. 6 when I finished vol 5. Still have the receipt for it; July 18th, 2010. 10.58 total.

I followed the various video updates on the movie, fan art, fell in love with the game, bought a Smashing Pumkins shirt, and the Anamanaguchi soundtrack was even the first digital album I bought for myself. I was basically just at the right age and state of mind for the series to grab me and have a profound effect with its themes. I think it's something I needed at the time.

But as much as the series meant to me, it's something I mostly moved on from. After all, the book ended in 2010, and until recently I probably hadn't reread it since 2013 or so. My books are in remarkable condition, actually. I mostly kept up with O'Malley's other works, and preordered Seconds when that was announced. Sadly haven't been keeping up with Snotgirl as much as I'd like, but I digress.

So when the show got announced… well, honestly my first reaction was "That thing they should've done after the Adult Swim short" Because, yeah, animation is a better medium for it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the 2010 movie- one of the best theater experiences because the like 5 other people in the audience were massive fan girls loving all the bits. And there is a lot to love about the movie: its visual gags; the performances; the music selection; the overall direction- seriously, Edgar Wright doesn't get enough credit for how good he is at keying in on visuals. Dude knows how to translate comic panels and mimic the vibe of the source.

But it lacked the depth of the books. There's no major character arc for Scott and Ramona addressing their flaws. Hell, the books weren't even finished yet. There are a ton of great translations from comic to screen, but mostly the superficial. Moments like Scott's meeting with Knives in the alley showing that he's becoming more empathetic and confronting his mistakes are either absent or glossed over. Likewise, Knives' own journey of maturity isn't there. This isn't a complaint mind you, it's not like those cuts are unreasonable. I can hardly blame them for not cramming 6 (and incomplete) books into a two hour film. That just ain't gonna happen.

The biggest advantage in a series as opposed to a movie is the opportunity to properly explore the characters beyond a surface level. I'm not saying anything particularly revolutionary by stating the most universally agreed-upon element from the books is that Scott is a bit of a shit.

However, I think that statement is overly simplifying the situation and the character, one far too often invoked by hack frauds who don't truly engage with the work, because clickbait engagement is more valued than a nuanced analytical one. I won't sit here unpacking the full 6 volumes, you can check out someone like Popculturebuffet for that. But part of what works so well with Scott is that we don't initially know the extent of his baggage- and rightfully so. His worst aspect early on is ignorantly getting involved with Knives in the first place, stringing her along even after becoming enamored with Ramona, and being a bit of a slacker. This is something which is pointed out by literally everyone (sans Stephen) as being shitty. But otherwise, he seems fairly average and even endearing in a way. Scott's an affable character that's easy to like in spite of his very major flaws, and that's a statement that remains true throughout. The reader doesn't even get to simmer much on the scenario with Knives until later- and to some degree, this even applies to Scott himself. He's slightly oblivious to his actions, past and present. A prime example would be that we're initially under the impression that Scott doesn't like to drink, which is mostly true. Mostly.

It's not until volume 6 that it becomes clear he got into a drunken fight with Envy on New Year's, suddenly re-contextualizing that and other events. It doesn't negate how Envy was very much a bitch who treated Scott like complete garbage, cheated on him, and screwed his head up something fierce. She is unequivocally the worse person there. But it adds nuance that wasn't present before. I focus on the event with Envy because it's sort of a perfect microcosm of Scott as a character. Scott "doesn't" drink because of what happened, except on the 3-4 social occasions over the course of the 6 volumes, showing how he has a habit of just flat-out lying in various ways, including to himself. He's aware on some level, but simultaneously suppresses that awareness from memory and even re-imagines scenarios outright (Sometimes with a little help, unbeknownst to him) acting like everything was always fine on his end. This is even more true in his prior relationship with Kim.

Scott's solutions are half measures where he can pretend that he was always the victim in a breakup, or at least innocent and free of blame, thus never growing in a meaningful manner. Hell, that's the reason he ended up with Knives in the first place; he was trying to get over Envy, but not in a healthy manner. Change is seen as scary to Scott, and yet it's inevitable. That is, at least due in part to Envy changing into a hateful person. As such, Scott wants something simple where he doesn't have to put in effort. Knives is naive and doesn't see Scott for the dick that he is, she doesn't ask him to be better because he's already perfect to her naive mind. It's shallow, and a tad messed up, and everyone knows it, including Scott- hence his continued dreams about being alone. He knows it's not, cannot, and never will be serious. He's stupid, but not a monster- but stupidity can be a form of malice if one doesn't change their heart. It's not exactly like the story is even subtle about this. The entire existence of Nega Scott is that you can't fight the past, you can't run from it even if you hate that part of you. You have to confront it and accept it to move on, hopefully changing for the better. To say nothing of how Gideon is what Scott could become if he never owned up to it. That angle is why I felt Scott and Ramona worked. Quite frankly, Ramona is just as flawed of an individual running from her past. She's constantly trying to change herself, but always on a surface level. She's afraid of normalcy, of being stuck in a routine, of being happy. She makes out (Not that much) with her ex, Roxie, in anger because she sees Scott hanging with Lisa Miller and suspects the worst. She (rightfully) gets enraged at how Scott was still with Knives when he and her first went out, thus cheating- yet she did the same with the Katayanagi twins, and possibly Lucas. And, ya know, she never formally handed off the breakup letter to Gideon, so she's kinda doing the same thing Scott did with Knives and her. Ramona's past is just as checkered as Scott's. She's just as jealous, hypocritical, and nuanced. It just takes longer to realize that because she puts up emotional barriers and isn't the titular character/main focus. Neither one is evil, but they've wronged people. Often they've been wronged, and sometimes it's not a clean-cut scenario of easily blaming anyone. For all the great supporting cast, gags, fun references, and so forth, our two main protagonists being flawed yet likable is what makes the series compelling. The heart is two people gradually learning to get over their selves and their mistakes. To stop running away, and accept their faults and one another. Over the 6 books, we see them (albeit mainly Scott) put in the effort to be better, to build and maintain something special, and not just go with what's simple and easy. It's not about fighting the exes, it's about fighting for each other.

That type of character arc requires time for development. So, when it comes to this Netflix series, my biggest hope was simply that they would capture that element found within the books. In the lead-up to the show, there were some rumors about the exes having more to do, and I can see that working. As much as I do think the book does a fine job, Todd and Roxie are the only ones with a decent amount of depth. Matthew works perfectly because his simple backstory is a gag in itself. Lee is a fun character with a tiny bit of backstory, but it's barely there. Gideon I can forgive due to his mysterious final boss nature and his schtick is being the extreme opposite of Scott. But the Twins? They're shafted pretty hard. They're there to fill out a roster. Honestly, though, even Roxie would've benefited greatly from the smallest of backstories ala Lucas Lee. She's perhaps the most interesting because she and Ramona are on good enough terms to have coffee together. Hell, Rox genuinely cares for Ramona, and unlike Lucas Lee, she's prominent enough in the story that a simple flashback could have been the cherry on top of all that.

The other part is streamlining story elements. No surprise there. From the get-go, O'Malley said it was not a 1-1 adaptation, and honestly, it shouldn't be. Some parts should be changed for the sake of convenience, and frankly, the book has some superfluous parts. Does anyone even remember Jason Kim? He shows up like twice as "dude with car" and apparently dating Kim Pine until dorking her housemate. That gives the impression of each character having their own life and drama that we're not privy to, which is nice. But it's also not important to include outside the books. Kim (Pine) becoming self-conscious when Envy is brought up, smiling when Scott stays over, or her dead-eyed expression as she lies during the fight with the Twins. All of that says far more about her, her feelings, her love life etc.

Then there's Knives' dad. Fun in the book, wouldn't take him out. But completely unneeded for emotional and narrative development. Sometimes you gotta look at the source material and realize that even if you like something, tacking on an extra hour for the most obvious whodunit would kill the pacing in an adaptation. (That was a LOTR reference for those playing at home)

However, the above scenarios are a trepidatious path. How does one decide what needs reworking, cutting, or expanding? They're necessary for an adaption, but they're not always obvious. If you're not careful, you can completely undermine or mishandle key elements that made the original so beloved. You risk removing seemingly innocuous moments that add a lot to a character's growth. Above, I mentioned that the Twins got shafted in the book, but there isn't really a good place to expand upon them in the original story. They're not as important as Ramona's growing discontent. It's why Scott's fight with robot 01 is relegated to background gags while we focus on Ramona and Kim. You could put a flashback during the final confrontation with the Twins, but that would muck up the pacing and take away from Kim's far more important character moment in lying to Scott to bolster him. The Twins are just narrative scaffolding holding a spotlight on what we should be focusing on. That's what all the exes are to some extent. Shallow, sure, but only so the other characters get depth.

It's not an easy line to walk. If you push too hard on telling a more original story or focus too much on "correcting" various details, you can negate what were otherwise successful plot points. Do too little and the pacing falls apart because the medium is completely different. Would the changes made still contain a similar level of depth and satisfying character arcs, or would it merely be a shallow reworking of the broadest of strokes? The only way to not lose is not to play. These are the concerns I had in the lead up to the show, which is fairly routine. We also weren't getting a lot of information storywise, aside from that it would be mostly doing its own thing (This is something that should have been emphasized more in marketing) The trailers showed familiar set pieces; that Ramona delivers DVDs for Netflix now, which is a great and absurd change; You saw some of the streamlining by having Scott rent Lucas Lee films, thus inadvertently getting a head start on that and cutting out the No Account Video segment; there's a brief original bit where Ramona talks to Julie about how well the date with Scott went. Most of the setting also looked like it was from the first and sixth volumes, which was a tad odd. But other than that, they were tight lipped about the narrative. Most of the promotional focus was on music, the returning cast, and the animation. All great things unique to this medium that we will get into in due time. Speaking of, let's finally discuss

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

So you know how Final Fantasy 7 Remake emphasized the "Remake" part? Well, we kinda have that here with the "Take Off" part.

I'll just cut right to the chase. Scott seemingly dies in the fight with Patel in the first episode. Episode two is his absolutely absurd funeral. Almost the rest of the episode is centered around Patel wanting to take over the league for himself, and succeeding in doing so, gaining all of Gideon's assets, while the league dissolves once they realize Patel didn't even get Ramona back after winning.

This is uh, certainly a direction to go.

Let's put aside not following the source material and this being an original story. Why should I care about this story? I'll concede that he and Gideon have a great fight. The animation from Science Saru is great, and the voice performances are great: Shoutouts to Satya Bhabha, his delivery is impeccable, hilarious, and a major highlight of the show. But why should I care about these events, this retake? What's the hook? Thus far, the primary purpose of the show feels like a fake out, gags, and fights. I spent the opening of this review going over the emotional weight of the books, that's the anchor. So far, I'm getting moments without substance. Am I supposed to care because I have a prior connection to these characters? This is something I wouldn't figure out a proper description and answer for until the finale. My issues also felt exacerbated by both the advertisements not making the original story angle clear, and also how good the first episode starts off. Because Cera as Scott is truly perfect. Cera was a voice actor before transitioning to the screen, and his performance is top-notch in addition to being a great vocal fit to begin with. So it's kinda disappointing to not have him around for quite a bit. Anyway, the second episode ends with Ramona dreaming and hearing Scott's voice, meaning that Scott isn't dead, he's in Subspace or somewhere.

Episode 3: Ramona Rents a Video.

As if answering one of my questions immediately, the third episode finally gives a hook as Ramona starts playing detective, like Pikachu Columbo. That's the selling point, that this is primarily Ramona's story.

She checks out footage of the Patel fight, showing that someone pulled Scott through a portal (Hence the title of the show, wink-wink.) Ramona then heads to First Cup to get a person of interest list from Julie- which is a pretty damn funny sequence, actually. I'm starting to enjoy the show at this point, and it's kinda wild how much more enjoyable Julie is in both the movie and show compared to the comics. Sure, she's a bitch, but she's a fun bitch due in no small part to Aubrey Plaza's wonderfully riled vocals. After getting the necessary info, Ramona is led to Kim since she knew Scott the longest. We even get a cute story about the poorly drawn Sheep Scott did, which looks hilariously WAY worse in the show.

There's also a key comment from Kim that I think is to make a point for dorks like me. Kim mentions that she was once kidnapped by a guy named Simon and rescued by Scott. That was a false memory of Scott's in the books. In vol. 6, Kim pointed out to Scott that Simon was just a dude she went out with like twice, probably hugged, and Scott beat up. This is one of a number of clues that seem to be here to firmly establish this isn't the same continuity as the books being messed with, and should not be thought of as a sequel if that was a concern.

Anyways, their conversation is cut short when Roxie arrives in the hope of rekindling her former flame. But things go south pretty quickly and Roxie's hotheadedness takes over.

What follows is one of the best fights in the show, equal parts funny and clever. Hell, it starts with Rox drawing her sword and accidentally cutting the sprinkler line. It adds a dramatic pseudo rain that's completely negated by Kim's wonderfully deadpan expression as all the damn tapes in the store become soaked.

During the scuffle with Ramona, a shelf of movies falls on the two which… somehow transports them into various movies? I dunno, we're working off video game logic, I guess Gex counts. It's a sequence that I'm sure was done purely for looking interesting. To its credit, the visual styling is on point. From Japanese historical drama to a post-Matrix early 2000s green filter era, to a scratchy film-grain-heavy WW2 film. The backing track also flows into each film genre. I also love a quick gag where Kim watches the fight on a CRT and fucks around with the rewind and pause feature, allowing Ramona to counter an earlier attack. Roxie gets knocked back into the store, smashes the remote, and gets dragged back into the movies by Ramona. That's great.

As the fight continues, Ramona and Rox begin arguing about their relationship, and we get that flashback sequence! It's a small thing, but they show that Ramona left without a word and how that tore Roxie up. Good lord, someone hug that poor girl, she looks like a sad puppy. In a legit great moment, Ramona has to confront how she treated Roxie, sincerely apologizing for it, which Roxie tearfully accepts it. I gotta say, Mae Whitman really gets to shine in the role more than ever. She's one of those I point to when talking about just how perfect everyone sounds exactly how I'd expect.

After the fight, she hangs out with Ramona and Kim for a bit, being very flirty with both. Kim even smooches her for the hell of it, although both admit there wasn't anything there. But hey, they managed to still get a Bi-curious Kim in here, and in a way that was better than in the books.

Elsewhere, a beat-to-hell Gideon arrives in town, meeting with Julie, an old schoolmate.

I legitimately liked this, there's actual emotional weight going on, there's interesting shit being done, and I'm settling into the show's intent. I like the idea of giving Ramona her own story with a slight focus on how she feels about her past. I think her going out of the way as much as she does for Scott, a dude she just met, is a little flimsy. Again, it's really expecting the audience to care because we, in theory, care about them getting together.

Ep. 4: Whatever.

Things get really fucking meta in this one. Ruling Roxie out as the kidnapper, who didn't even know Scott was alive, Ramona turns her attention to Lucas Lee, who is starting a new picture in Toronto.

Turns out the movie is from Young Neil's screenplay, which "he" wrote back in ep 3, or rather a mysterious "sleep paralysis demon" he saw did. The movie is about Scott's life if he won the fight with Patel.

This toying with the universe thing is getting a little unsettling.

Most of this episode is one big meta gag about making a Scott Pilgrim movie with Director Edgar Wrong. I'm not even mad at this, I'm just completely flabbergasted at what the hell I'm seeing. And this will become a reoccurring bit throughout.

Also hope you like gags about Knives' age cause holy shit they reference this a lot throughout the show.

It's at this point in my viewing process I have developed a headache.

To give some credit, Lucas is fun in this episode. He's more in line with the film version, and Evans actually sounds better than ever, likely thanks to age and simply having more to say. And like with Roxie, Lee has a Flashback. There isn't much more than what was in the book, but I think the presentation is better. Seeing Ramona patch him up after a bad fall, and Lucas arranging his Locker (which is filled with photos of Ramona) as she and Todd walk behind him. Man, that stings.

Needless to say, Lee isn't responsible for Scott's disappearance and with the whole "controversy" regarding him dating a 31 year old actress playing a highschooler, he's hounded off the lot and has to be replaced by Todd, which seems to be a reoccurring thing for him.

Ep. 5: Lights. Camera. Sparks?!

I'm now starting to believe this entire show may have been an elaborate troll towards people obsessed with adaptation accuracy to a fault. I almost want to applaud the sheer audacity of it. Suffice it to say, 95% of this episode is done in a documentary style, and there are a lotta hijinks on set. Ramona is working as Envy's stunt double just so she can have easier access to the set and hopefully get a lead from Todd. Wallace also bones Todd. A LOT. Oh yes, Wallace shacks up with Todd, and Todd is really into it. Wallace, on the other hand, just wanted to hook up with a hot dude, leading to a whole excursion and depressive vegan breaking episode for Todd. Brandon Routh really gets to go full ham here, and it's wonderful.

Some damn funny parts aside, Todd wasn't behind the portal, but it was certainly vegan in nature. Ramona is otherwise back to Square one until Patel, by happenstance, arrives on the lot to fire everyone. Afterward, Patel has a brief confluence with Stephen Stills and Knives, who manage to get an in with him. Since Scott's apparent death, Knives has taken his place in Sex-Bob-omb on Bass (and keyboard) making decent music with Stephen Stills. The importance of that will come into play next episode.

Patel then turns his attention to Ramona. Obviously, Patel wouldn't have any reason to keep Scott around, but it's entirely plausible Gideon, or rather his real identity, Gordon Goose, would as part of a revenge scheme.

Ep. 6: WHODIDIT. This episode starts with probably the best opening gag that I kinda don't wanna ruin despite spoiling everything else. I'm probably gonna be adding "I was gone for 90 %#&! minutes" to my quotes, though.

In any case, this is a fairly straightforward episode. Ramona interviews Julie once again, but it becomes clear that Gideon, Goose, has neither the mental state nor resources to pull something like that off. As an aside, we get a flashback with him as well, showing that he was the school nerd. He supposedly had no fear (No pain) until he aimed well above his status in asking a girl out, leading to him being laughed out of school, which Julie remembers all too well.

It seems like another dead-end, but when Ramona accompanies Julie back to her house, they both see a familiar Robot, the Twins' 01 Robot, which has been making very unsubtle appearances in every episode up to this point; Lee's place; outside the video store; the studio lot, etc. We also have a B-plot with Stephen Stills and Knives making music for a stage adaption of Neil's Screenplay so it doesn't go to waste.

Cute.

It's here where it becomes known that Neil didn't write the script, and upon checking the original file, realize something is off and that Ramona should be informed. All parties gather in Ramona's apartment as she goes over the pertinent information in whodidit (dunit?) fashion, including treating us to another flashback, this time with the twins. It's probably the least engaging of the flashbacks, honestly. Even in this, they get shafted. Regardless, the who and how are solved. But Not the why or where. Where Scott is remains a mystery, but it's likely the Twins know, which is where Ramona intends to check out.

Oh, and the information the gang has about Neil's Script? The metadata says it was written 14 years from now. But just as more questions are raised, another winds up on Ramona's doorstep; Scott, safe and mostly sound. The Twins were in fact behind it, and the robot, and… himself.

Ep. 7: 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim.

Yes, the one who pulled Scott out of Time was himself, from the future; a 37 year old Scott. The how is rather simple and already answered; the Katayanagi twins. Older Scott and them became friends in the future, even starting a band; Pop'n TwinBee (RIP Shatterband.) By the way, if you ever wanted to hear Will Forte sing a hilariously bad cover of Konya Wa Hurricane from Bubblegum Crisis as an older Scott Pilgrim, this is the show for you. I was laughing my ass off at this.

Anyway, the robot was disconnected from a fixed time stream, and being a vegan cause, ya know, robot, is able to create portals. Therefore Time portals. As to the why, Scott showed his past self using a virtual reality machine on the Virtual Guuy[sic], complete with red and black pixel art mimicking the style of the game. Past Scott sees memories on the not Virtual Boy; Defeating the Evil Exes, future marriage to Ramona, their honey moon at Universal… and divorce. Well, technically they're just separated after 13 odd years of marriage. Older Scott has since been living with Wallace and his husband.

Exactly what happened is never stated, just that the pain was so much Scott decided to follow through on a sarcastic comment from Wallace and prevent falling for Ramona in the first place. Old Wallace sums up the mental state of Old Scott to regular Scott, describing it as "Like after Envy, times ten." Which uh, yeah, no wonder Older Scott's a tad kooky.

It's at this point I have to bring up personal stuff, and it's something that I thought I might have to. So, when Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour dropped in 2010, I distinctly remember reading an interview with O'Malley about the ending. In the lead-up to the final book there was a lot of speculation from fans that maybe Scott and Ramona wouldn't end up together (there was a strong case to be made for Kim) maybe it would end badly since both Scott and Ramona have their struggles. Some people even thought he would end up with Knives, which is missing the entire point of her character arc, and also fuck no.

Ultimately we got the ending we did because, at the time, O'Malley was happy, so he thought Scott should be happy. But O'Malley divorced in 2014.

I dislike bringing that up, but that was leading me to speculate (and brace myself) if that would have an impact here. I mean, how could it not? And look, there is a good argument that Scott and Ramona needn't stay together for their journey together to be satisfying. It would fit right in line with the theme that things don't always stay the same. People can grow apart, even the important ones that change your life. I don't like that outcome, but it's not as if it's wrong to consider. Particularly for a story like this.

But I also think there's an element of overt cynicism to that. What's interesting is that the show doesn't go in that direction. In fact, it's actually insistent that Ramona and Scott can't help but be drawn to one another, there's a spark there. We even get a scene of Scott hooking up the 01 robot to the VR, and since 01 is connected across time, he can see into the past versions. The robot seen throughout the show was Scott seeing that Ramona was constantly looking for him, and that's genuinely sweet.

Still, the situation is bad, as Scott is trapped in the future and can't use the Robot to travel for reason.

On Young Scott's insistence, he and Older Wallace meet up with Older Ramona, discovering she was the one who went back in time and wrote Young Neil's Screenplay in a failed attempt to preserve their story and hopefully thwart Older Scott. (Let's not go crossed-eyed thinking too hard about paradoxes)

He's a misguided idiot, but Ramona still loves the moron, even if she has her doubts after her failed plan. But Scott's words of encouragement about his Ramona never giving up on him gives her hope. Importantly, she can time travel with her DeLorean roller blades, which is how Scott can and did get back to the past.

But even after Scott's return and reunion, their problems aren't over, as a force field prevents Ramona and Scott from kissing. Someone is still interfering, and the list of who might as well just be the entire list of exes. Thankfully, Stephen Stills and Knives have a convenient plan: The stage musical is going to have all the exes in attendance, so they've got one big gathering spot to get to the bottom of this.

This is one of my favorite episodes of the show. It's cool seeing older versions of the characters, and frankly, the presentation is just great. I do think that too much of that emotional weight is relying on events from the books for your investment. I know, I know. Can't enjoy a good thing without a critique. Still, this is a great episode, one of my favorites along with ep. 3, and our next and final episode.

Oh, and the end credits has a proper rendition of Konya Wa Hurricane, so that's fucking cool.

Ep. 8: The World Vs Scott Pilgrim.

So here we are at the big finale at the premiere of the Scott Pilgrim Musical.

The thing is, none of the exes seem to be suspect. Gideon is the only one with ulterior motives, but they're not towards Scott and Ramona, he just wants to blow up the stage and Matthew Patel.

But not long after everyone is seated something goes awry. A portal appears and transports all the exes and Scott's friend group (And also Julie and the robot) to a barren land.

The one behind this, and the force field, was an Even Older and very buff Scott (47) He slipped past Scott nano machines as a backup to prevent him from ever getting close to Ramona, but even that wasn't enough. So for 10 years he trained to take everyone out, as it's the only way to be sure. And so our final battle begins: The World vs. Scott Pilgrim. If you listen closely to the track during this scene "Big Bad" incorporates elements of "The Dark One" Nega Scott's theme from the game. That's a nice touch.

Even Older Scott is no pushover, he breaks Ramona's Hammer, and despite a fairly good comeback from regular Scott, he beats him pretty bad. The others come to his aid, Knives attacking with daggers, but Even Older Scott punches Knives so hard he knocks the highlights our of her hair.

Ramona begins handing out items from her bag, cyber broccoli for Todd, a cyber skateboard for Lucas, and a cyber sword for Roxie, just as the sub boss music from the game kicks in. Along with Matthew's mystic arts, they mange to actually lay into Even Older Scott, but that only causes him… to go… even further beyond, and One hit KO the four.

The Twins Robot is ineffectual and even Gideon's not quite the glow-douken has no effect. Even Older Scott just grabs it and turns it against Stephen, Knives, Kim, and Neil. This. This is actually fucking awesome. It's going full Shonen ham.

We're down to just Ramona and Scott, who team up and hit him together, followed by Scott and Even Older Scott literally butting heads. We get our obligatory speech between a younger Scott just wanting to live his life, and Even Older Scott saying he'll just end up where he's at if he does.

And it finally clicked into place what the hell Scott Pilgrim Takes Off actually is. This is like a Shonen spin off story. Your Broly Trilogy, Hunter X Hunter The Last Mission, Naruto Blood Mission. But with an X-men time travel plot slapped on. It's an excuse to play around and do different (mostly cool) shit with a set of familiar characters. Like a movie or OVA, the characterization isn't as deep as the main source material. It banks on you giving a damn because of the familiarity so they can mostly get right to the cool bits and not try as hard or waste time on the re-interpretative parts. Don't think too hard about the misgivings, think about Akuma Scott beating the shit out of everyone while the familiar music you're nostalgic for plays.

And goddamn that's frustrating because that's what they should've led with. All the damn trailers were dancing around the new material and making it seem like an adaptation. To keep on the Anime brand, if people are expecting a "Brotherhood" or "Ultimate" version with a Cast they like, and then they don't get that… well yeah that's not gonna go over well. I can't fault anyone for being mad about that. That's having the rug pulled out from under you. But once you realize what this is, and what it's doing, it's a lot easier to enjoy and be its own thing. It branches off a similar story to the books, but it's not like this is a canonical revision or sequel to them.

That said, just because it's "less developed" doesn't mean this is without heartfelt moments I enjoy. When it seems like Even Older Scott has the upper hand, an even older Ramona shows up to chew old Scott out for not even texting in 10 years, fighting people in the past rather than fighting for them, all because of one rough patch. It's funny, but it also confirms the biggest divergence. This is a world where Scott was never kicked out during the Roxie chapter, a world without Gideon's "Glow" mental manipulation, and presumably Scott never faced his inner demons because of it. This also means Ramona didn't run off after the twins' defeat because the glow wasn't affecting her mentality, and thus she faced her own. That one line snowballs into a lot of stuff not happening for their character growth. That- that is an interesting concept.

This all leads to a poignant scene where Ramona questions her older self if she should even bother. What's the point if it ends up like this? Maybe it's best to just keep moving. But, that's also Ramona's thing, isn't it? Running away from what she loves, which is presumably (along with his own stupidity) what set Older Scott down a spiral in the first place. In a scene that parallels Scott's own understanding within the books, Ramona comes to realize she's ran all her life.

In the end, Ramona chooses to stop running and embrace herself, quite literally. Both Ramona's combining into, as Scott puts it "Super Ramona" Able to see the situation for what it is, one Scott still in many ways a dumb kid, the other Scott just a sad mess. She simply sends Older Scott back to his time with the hope he'll straighten out. Meanwhile, the nano machines are still a problem with current Scott. But that's nothing a super form can't overload with a determined kiss. Daww.

Before things go back to normal and because she'll have trouble saying it later, she tells Scott she loves him, and that she tends to run away from what she loves. But who she was in the past isn't who she is now. She just needs help remembering that.

Everyone returns to the theater to enjoy the rest of the musical, and Patel's demon girls subvert Gideon's plans. After the show, he and Julie are apprehended, but Matthew instead begs Gideon to take all his crap back. He has no idea how to run a company, is stressed out, and has lost billions. All Matthew wants is to continue the stage show.

We then get an epilogue. Lucas Lee takes up a job at Second First Cup; Todd has returned to being a Vegan with coaching from Roxie; The rental store Kim worked at closes down; Wallace takes a vacation to Paris where he meets Mobile; Knives continues performing with Sex-Bob-Omb as their keyboardist; Ramona gives up delivery work and instead returns to being a stunt double.

We end on Ramona coloring her hair once again, before heading out and meeting with Scott and the others, as Plumtree's Scott Pilgrim plays us off.

Only for a mid-credits scene to show Gideon and Julie plotting revenge. Oooo.

And that is Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.

s'allright, innit? Okay, joking aside- I think I'm gonna have a hard time conveying my feelings on this one. But I still have three more things to talk about before we get to my final thoughts.

First off, the voice acting is great, shockingly great. I'm a person who is very much of the mindset that you should hire voice actors for voice roles BUT, in this instance, I can understand why. It's incredible they got everyone back and how well they work. I've already given my praise to Cera, Bhabha, Plaza, Whitman, Routh, and Evans in the story portion of this review. But I'm drastically overdue to talk about Winstead's performance. I think this was the one people were most curious about because in the movie there was this aura of Ramona feeling more "cold" in her personality. This was due to the original direction they wanted to take that version, and sadly it meant we didn't quite get a more angles. Here? Yeah, this is pretty great. We hear Ramona full of regret, angry, annoyed, sentimental. It's a much more well-rounded version. My one nitpick is Winstead needs to work on her battle cries, it really stands out in the Roxie fight opposite a veteran VA like Whitman. But otherwise, this is how I imagine Ramona sounding. And I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up how anytime Ramona has a vulnerable moment talking about Scott, she genuinely sounds smitten. The Future Ramona (the first one) in particular stands out to me. That's a version of the character that's older, clearly hurt, and weary, but still very much in love. I can't help imagining that being applied to scenes from the book. In Vol. 5 the part after The Twins are defeated and Scott returns. That scene always tears me apart when I read it. I'm fairly certain if I heard Cera and Winstead's performance of that it would rip my soul out. So maybe it's best we only have this original story. So yeah, I'm happy to see that she fits right into the role better than ever.

Another performance I've yet to mention is Ellen Wong, who is just as perfectly energetic as she was in the film. It's a shame we don't get to hear her do a somber Knives in this setting, but it's hard to complain with how pleasant it is hearing her chipper over the top excitement. Alison Pill's Kim Pine is as sardonic as always, and much like Routh and Evans, I think she's even better now. Johnny Simmon sounds exactly the same, no complaints, 10/10. Jason Schwartzman is an experienced VA, so no surprise he sounds fine. He doesn't get to stretch out much since Gideon isn't super prominent here. Although episode 6 did show a lot of range and potential for what you could do with him. Maybe next season? Similarly Brie Larson's Envy doesn't have a whole lot of screen time, but she's equal parts charming and manipulative. Honestly, for a small as the role is, it made me realize just how much Larson is good at the role and how that level of emotion is often subdued in roles elsewhere. Honestly, I hate to say it, but Mark Webber's Stephen Stills is probably one of the weaker performances on the show. It's not even that it's bad, it's fine and works- except for the animation. That's the one caveat. There are a couple of moments where Stephen Stills is pantomiming, and the voice doesn't match that energy. Truth be told, I even sorta have a similar issue with Kieran Culkin's Wallace, which I swear looks like the syncing was off in the earlier episodes. The saving grace is that Wallace has more scenes than Stephen Stills and therefore Culkin got more opportunities. This is sorta the area I mean when I think it's best to get trained VA. It's a completely different medium and hard to jump into immediately.

I don't wanna end this segment on a downer, so I'll once again mention Will Forte sings Like a Hurricane. OH, Segue.

Soundtrack

So I did not know what to expect going into this. I mean, I was a fan of Anamanaguchi, but I hadn't kept up since Endless Fantasy, sans the Miku single- which is really good by the way. And Joseph Trapanese I was most familiar with from his collaboration with Daft Punk on Tron Legacy, so no worries there. But I did wonder how well a chiptune heavy sound would work. As much as I dig it, it's a very upbeat vibe. Even some of Anamanaguchi's more dramatic tracks have a charming bubbliness to them. How would that work within a series? Well, the short answer is they don't have as much chiptune going on as you would assume. There are a few that incorporate chiptunes to a limited degree, others a bit more, but most not at all. The vast majority of the OST is more traditional fair and Synthwave, and in a way, it sorta mimics my own evolving tastes. I still listen to Chiptune stuff, but I'm also really big into synth music nowadays. It feels like a proper bookend to my late-teens early twenties listening to Anamanaguchi, and later Dance with the Dead and Midnight Danger, and now Anamanaguchi's synth offerings. One of the tracks, Yet Another Winter Again (Calling back to the first stage in The Game) has a Redbook audio sound with a hint of Chiptune, but not the NES/GB Anamanaguchi is known for. It sounds like a SNES. In fact, I would compare the track to something you'd hear in VA-11 Hall-A. So even when there are chiptunes, we're branching out quite a bit in both sound fonts and style. Of course, there are a couple of vocal tracks as well. Like the movie, there are universe songs for Sex-Bob-Omb. They have a unrefined roughness to them, which is perfect for a small unprofessional indie band. As for some of my favorite tracks, the aforementioned Yet Another Winter Again; He's You; And They were Roommates; Blame it on the Goose; Big Bad; Bad Guys; Knives & Kim; and God Only Knows. I'm sure that'll change as time goes on. I'm really digging Lucas' flashback music, and Fond Memories, nice parallel between those two. In fact there's quite a few pieces that, in tandem with the animation, do a lot to sell those heartwarming (or wrenching) moments.

Animation.

Oh right, the animation. So, if you read my Castlevania Nocturne review, you know I went on a slight tangent about how I think it's silly that they labeled it an anime despite it being produced and partly animated in goddamn Texas. It was just a label because they're embarrassed to call their super serious animation what it is because they think anime sounds more mature. I swear some people still think it's 1985 and Vampire Hunter D is the wildest shit cause blood.

Funny thing about Scott Pilgrim though, it's just straight-up animated by Science Saru. I'm not here to get into semantics, because then we'll be asking if Batman TAS counts because Sunrise. I just find it funny. At the very least Takes Off certainly fits the bill more than Nocturne does. But back on topic, it's fucking good. I mean, I don't think that comes as any surprise. Science Saru has made a name for doing really impressive work from Devilman Crybaby, to Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, and the shorts Akakiri and T0-B1 for Star Wars Visions. Not to mention supplemental work for the Garo anime, OK-KO, and Adventure Time. So Scott Pilgrim is perfectly in their wheelhouse, and they do an incredible job capturing O'Malley's illustrations while adding their own unique flare to the styling.

Sadly Tumblr's gif size limit means I can't easily showcase some of the fights as much as I'd like, but suffice it to say the level of fluidity and cinematography is astonishing. Again, episode 3 is an amazing showcase in itself.

To say nothing of how expressive everyone is in the show.

Also this is a weird one, but I think with the exception to episodes 5 & 7, each episode has Ramona going through a bleaching and dye routine. It is bizarrely satisfying to watch, like the tea making in Samurai Jack.

Final Thoughts.

Takes Off was both a confusing shock and a pleasant surprise upon first viewing. It's impressive in its existence, and has moments that I fucking love. Like the Shonen it emulates, it does also come off as a tad superfluous or melodramatic in many respects. But it is fun to bust out old toys and play with them again. The fact that in 2023 I'm seeing a new work related to Scott Pilgrim is fucking incredible. I'm happy that this exists, I'm happy to hear the cast together again, and happy to hear some great music tracks. And I do love the characters of Scott Pilgrim, I love the performances in this show, I love numerous parts of this show. But, I also think it's fair to say what I love most aren't these characters. And that's okay. Those characters should remain in the series that ended in 2010, while these are easily malleable versions for an animated series to have fun with. Maybe you could never capture or replicate the exact magic of the books again, so it's better to just do your own thing. Takes Off was, in the end, a fun time that I think works best when you know what you're getting into. Once you're armed with that knowledge, I think you'll find a show much easier to appreciate.

All that said, as backhanded as this is going to seem, I still think the nicest thing that Takes Off did was get me to re-read the book series for this review. I got to re-examine a profound series from the perspective of a 31 year old, but still find all that I originally loved as a 17 year old. When it comes to adaptive works, no matter what, the nice thing is you'll always have the originals to go back to. You change, maybe your tastes change, and certain things hit differently or don't hold up when you go back. But it's nice to revisit. I think nostalgia can be a poison. Too many people get caught up in wanting to relive the exact moment, to be trapped. But I think it's more fun to see something you love still remain a love even after so much time has passed. I'm happy with how I felt as a teenager reading a story about emotional growth. Some personally, some apart, and others closer. In my 30s, I still appreciate that, and it still affects me and resonates. But just because I cherish that above all else doesn't mean I wouldn't be interested in more Scott Pilgrim. And if O'Malley and Grabinski wanna make more people sing 80s anime songs badly, I'll be on board for that alone.

Or Roxie flirting with every woman. Seriously, she's so much fun.

As always, thanks for reading. Reblogs are appreciated and you can find me elsewhere on the worldwideweb at: Bsky Ko-Fi

So does Gideon still have his exes frozen somewhere, or is that another difference?

Oh, and now that we have a Netflix Series, can we get a Nendoroid Ramona? There's been like no high end merch since Mondo in 2017.

[sanzath]

Death's Door

In 2023, I've played and completed more games than in any other year so far. I've had many great experiences, and I thought it would be nice to write down my thoughts on at least some of them. This post may contain spoilers.

Developed by Acid Nerve. Published by Devolver Digital. Released in July 2021.

Death's Door is one of the first games I played this year. It was one of the five (5!!!!!) games I received as a gift from my Secret Santa in 2022 (you know who you are!).

The part of this game that really struck me was how it treated death--appropriate, for a game with "death" in its name.

In this game, you play as a soul reaper who is also a cute little crow, and your job is to reap the souls of the people who have lived for too long and who have become corrupted into monsters. But each time you defeat one of these corrupted souls, you are not met with a celebration of your victory. Instead, what you get is a scene much more reminiscent of a funeral. The deceased's friends and family (and enemies too) gather around, and your gravedigger companion delivers a touching eulogy. There is no gloating, there is no disdain. Despite their misdeeds, they are not a villain to be hated and forgotten; at this final step, they are treated with empathy and understanding. This is the element that really makes Death's Door stand out to me.

Moving onto the gameplay: I found each area a joy to explore, with various navigational mini-puzzles and hidden secrets littered throughout. The combat is fast and satisfying. You start out with a sword with a 3-attack combo, plus a bow and arrow; attacking with your melee weapon gives you ammo for your ranged weapon, encouraging you to use both methods of combat. As the game progresses, you unlock a few alternative melee weapons and ranged spells, and I quickly settled on alternating quick dagger attacks with arrows or fireballs. The enemies are varied with different attack and movement styles, and the encounters are often difficult without being unfair. Even dying doesn't feel so bad, the shortcut unlocks help to soften the blow and the DEATH screen is nice to look at.

As for the music. While the entire soundtrack is great--I've listened to the OST probably two dozen times--what really stood out to me was the way the Inner Furnace's moving platforms are synced to the area's music. That's just a treat. they didn't need to do it, but they did, and it makes the entire area feel so good.

What I think I enjoyed the most, though, was the final scavenger hunt of optional puzzles, secrets and challenges. I'm a sucker for these kinds of things, especially when a final reward is hinted at. And the game delivers strongly on that promise, with a cutscene making explicit the links with Acid Nerve's previous title Titan Souls, showing some of the story preceding the events of Death's Door, and if you're prone to wishful thinking, hinting at a potential follow-up game. Overall, a very satisfying 100% ending to a wonderful game.

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

i enjoy the two different flavors of depression that Hello Sadness and No Blues have quite a lot

so enjoy this massive rant

Hello Sadness is the more blatantly depressed one. Just from the title and image you already get that sense of sadness from it. And many of the songs themselves have lyrics that sound hopeless and even sound hopeless in the melodies at times (ex: Life Is A Long Time and Baby I Got The Death Rattle).

It’s almost poignant at times, filled with this sense of dread and hopelessness even when the melodies still have that sense of energy that LC!’s songs are known for. And even then, the melodies still sound a tad darker than normal. As I think was stated in an interview, it’s clear that this one is meant to be a break up album.

And then there’s No Blues

This album is much less blatant, but it’s probably even more emo. Which you wouldn’t expect with its neon pink clouds “setting off the entire box of smoke bombs at once in your driveway during the 4th of july” looking album cover.

As I describe it to my dad, “They’re less openly sad sounding.. they’re just really obsessed with death”

Many of the songs don’t sound necessarily sad. Some even sound really happy at times! But as far as I can tell, the majority of them have allegories relating to death. To the point that it’s, like, what I recognize the album for. Other than “that’s why they call me the avocado, baby.”

Some songs are definitely more sad melody-wise than others. Like, compare Selling Rope to Avocado, Baby. But that’s something I really appreciate about the album! All of the songs have such varying sounds, and yet it all seems to tie together really well!

Overall i adore these two albums, they’re good backing soundtracks for my frequent breakdowns 👍

[ultraskull1000]

AND SO I PLAYED A SHOW WITH THE GUITAR I BUILT (July 11th)

plus a few other updates

Okay so the last time I posted about this guitar (My partner dubbed it Bluejay) it looked like this

Which is fine and all and I love the color of it to bits and the contrast bit around the switch fucks and i love it with the pink strap (I got an orange strap for it specifically but its too saturated and i need to dampen it a bit) but i have decided that it is by far too plain so ive done a few things

First of all I sharpied it, bearing comparison to body marking on my partner's chest

This fucks. Being able to write messages on my guitar? fucks so hard. God i love this shit. There are a few particular stickers that i want to nab and throw on here, one in particular is the P! symbol that is on Haruko's vespa from FLCL (which, fuck i love fooly cooly. shit fucks so hard. the P! symbol is (iirc) a logo for the band that soundtracked the show, the pillows, but i havent found that sticker sold by them and i cant really find any specific evidence that its something that they sold or anything like that.) because my partner pointed out the palette similarity to Canti with the blue base color and the off-white accents and all that. Im likely gonna put that on the lower bout below the output jack area beside the vibrato.

Electronics wise, I continued adjusting some of the electronics, changed the value of the tone cap, and I modded the pickups to be coil splitable, which was simpler than i thought cause

okay so if you look at this pickup its not a 4 conductor pickup by stock, cause the larger black wire there connects the two coils without the option to disconnect it so all i had to do was desolder that wire and replace it with one wire for each side. I dont have pictures of all of that because i didnt think to do so and also my wiring on this guitar is messy as hell right now and im still trying to figure out what to put in the rhythm circuit section and I promise eventually ill go over the specifics of my wiring later. ANYway

I got some cheap toggle switches and threw them beside the pickups and it fucks with the aesthetic and i love the sounds it can make with this

AAAAAAAA i love this so much

once i figure out the rest of the electronics and make the rest of my modifications ill also do a sound demo and whatnot.

BEYOND THAT THOUGH

I PLAYED A SHOW WITH THIS GUITAR AND IT DID SO WELL

unfortunately there were very few pictures and instagram doesnt screenshot well but heres a single pic i got to work

7-26-23

Okay update this is what the guitar looks like now

not sure why i didnt post this before. but this fucks now.