#sorta lol let's get it going
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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Random but whew finally another bowuigi artist/writer who isn't into proship stuff! Too many artists I like end up being creeps, that or while they are not into it are fast to call people antis and block for simply setting up boundaries and keeping a distance when it comes to content or people that make them uncomfortable (like just because you can tolerate a mutual that makes stuff you're not always about doesn't mean everyone else has to tolerate and accept people like that interacting with them ew)
UUUHHHH mention of incest n such
Yeah, I've noticed that it is a pattern for Bowuigi artists I used to like. (I've seen a few artist on Twitter who've been revealed/straight up draw incest. Mainly, Mario n Luigi. I've also seen Bowser n Bowser Jr. IT MAKES NO SENSE.). This has given me a LOT of trust issues in any artist I come across, so I tend to keep my distance from creators.... I should probably learn to unpack that..
I never really understood the appeal of being a proshipper and while I do like to draw n write Bowuigi, I'm not gonna do EVERY request.
I remember a specific artist I used to like on Instagram, then found out about the proshipper stuff they were doing on Twitter and when they got called out, were completely immature. Heck, they ended up with more support from:
A.) The followers that say they don't like the artist, just the safe Bowuigi art/art style (basically the "I just like the art not the artist" argument)
B.) Were from other proshippers in the community
It was weird and I immediately blocked them once they responded immaturely.
I guess the only thing I can say I ship that is 'weird' is Daisy x Mario (I have art of them that'll be kept private for a bit 'til I feel comfortable)
If ya don't ship Bowuigi and you still like my posts/blogs/rambles, it's all good.
There are definitely more decent Bowuigi artists out there, hard to find tho...
#i don't know how to tag this#lol#lowkey what i didn't expect after the smbros movie#hope things get better#let's go bowuigu artiiisssttt#bowuigi#commentary on this gosh darn ship#bowser x luigi#q&a sorta?#nice#AYOOOOO BORK?#ok im done
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wanna make spider-jam an oc superhero because i've wanted to bring back my superhero ocs from like 8th grade especially since i've decided they're all weird and traumatized and insular and spider-jam is like fun and outgoing and cmyk colors
but like the whole thing is that she was bit by a radioactive spider. like that's the joke.
i need a new joke
#not pjo#chitter chatter#my ocs#the other day i was like oh i want a superhero oc who wears big chunky headphones#even better if shes got a walkman or a terrible cd player that keeps skipping and she keeps getting mad#the other sorta mc is a nico style character sl;kdjdsj sorry for stealing your powers bestie#theyre very withdrawn and have shadow powers. part of this is because their superhero mentor is like#SUPER traumatized and for the most part keeps them away from other people and heroes outside of their immediate group#yeah yeah grumpy sunshine dynamic whatever what IM really looking to do is have spider-jam (new name pending) sharing music w my shadow guy#especially because shadow (name pending) basically just. their human interaction is mostly the internet. and they know some weird deep cuts#spider-jam wants to take them to a concert SO BAD but mentor figure doesn't know the two of them are friends#and would also NEVER let shadow go to a concert. the risks.#meanwhile spider-jam is like we NEED to scream bubble gum pop at the top of our lungs and a punk rock mosh pit and get elbowed in the face!#shadow sends her spotify playlists and spider-jam thinks its like PEAK romance i just decided it's a romance#SORRY I BRIEFLY LOST MY MIND HERE LOL!!!! shadow needs a new design#so does spider-jam but shadow totally just looked like black widow if i remember right bc i drew them for class#just as i was making these ocs we had some random journal prompt about making a superhero and drawing them and i was like YESSSSSSS#ok im gonna shut up now i'll think of a new pun. alternatively:#we'll figure that out later and i'm gonna draw them KISSING#edit: i drew them kissing and revamped sj without knowing what else i'm doing#s&j
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Eternal gales isat au except Bloom is the one looping and she never fucking escapes due to the curse of being 9 years old. Oh and also the middle aged woman actively sabotaging her at every step of the way ig
#rat rambles#eternal gales#for context in the main version of the au I have au aris as loop and as such in any swapped looper hypotheticals their loops would be their#au antag counterpart and just so happens bloom has by far the worst one to be stuck with#all the other au antags would play varying degrees of nice but au bloom very much Would Not.#au bloom's whole motivation in canon eg was kickstarted by their original universe being destroyed after all#and to have that happen after being stuck in timeloop hell? she would Not be ready to let the universe fuck her over without a fight#and this is only one drop in the bucket of many Many reasons that bloom would have a unquely fucked up and horrific time if she was looping#fydd wouldn't have a great time either but I do think au fydd would be nicer to him no matter how low that bar is#au fydd would be incredibly unstable and angry but he wouldn't necessarily blame fydd for that I think#seeing his literal younger self go through what had broken him as a teenager would probably get him to try to keep it together#he'd understand theyre both victims that got massively fucked over#au sier would probably get closest to loop in terms of helpfulness but probably still less helpful if that gives you any idea of how#useless these fuckers would be like even the ones who would legitimately try would just sorta suck at it I think#owl in particular would probably be Way too stuck in the playing mysterious zone to be very helpful#au fydd just wouldn't know shit nor know how to go about explaining shit#au aris would be very very distant with their advice and take a very mia appreach to things (take a clost look at your evidence esc)#au mase would be dead silent 99% of the time#and as said au bloom would be actively sabotaging everything at any chance she could get#now aris and sier are so nicies to me by having au antags that already have easy loop names#owl already altered her name in canon after all and while uni isnt here au aris can still borrow their name#thank god sier isnt the main character here if the act 6 twist was revealed with sier awf owl full name drop thatd be horrible lol#isat spoilers#justttt realized that I should add that. thats what happens when you post at 4 am ig#speaking of time to pass out
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In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!
#i am losing my sanity day by day#drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day#why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about#don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha#ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't#fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess#am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!#i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow#vent ig#my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol#nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays#at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig#anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs#when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop#anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go#please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you#i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just.#all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this#for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect#and care made me expect it more? fuck#i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person.#everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things#long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider#my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at#at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person.#my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got#to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me.#this is showing so many issues.#so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12#i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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I being so fucking normal about this fit on him rn I'm beingsofuckingnormal I'm beingsofuckin nor-
#you have no idea how fucking long I've been drooling crying begging and just screaming for them to do a Lost boy kill count#like I just watched the podcast maybe like a week ago and I'm just like rocking back and forth on my bed like they're going to post a video#<--real soon#and oh my God I watched the video of the kill count in there's so many things I wish they talked about on there but I'm grateful to get it#they did talk about the sequels and.....ekkkk... I mean it's only based off of high demand so let's hope to God no one talks about it#or send any emails for them I mean if they talk about the remake that's fine I haven't really seen that one I know Sebastian stan is in it#oh my God I feel like I'm about to be so fucking annoying about the movie again I think I'm going to just start posting random shit about it#also lately I've been more happy to be posting and drawing again than usual#so I might be back on doodling and drawing random shit or actually I've been having more confidence in myself to start posting doodles#why do I bring that up because oh I don't know...wink wonk 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤗🤗 😉😉😉😉😜😜😜#my laptop kind of sucks now so I'm going to buy a new one probably this month or next month so I'll be drawing and posting doodles#I'm also thinking about posting some of my recent sketches I have in my notebook but don't expect any Picasso or Vince Van Gogh for me#I know I'm good but like I'm not that good lol im jking kinda sorta maybe not relaly okay yeaj am BUT!!!#I feel like I'm back on my drawing shit again and if I don't finish your drawing I'll just still post it because why the fuck not I'm young#let's fuck around and have some fun why not huh#man I can't believe I'm actually really rambling here but yeah I'm happy to say that I'm going to be back on my stupid shit ❤️#kill count
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whys it always "wow youre so talented you should make that your career!" and never" wow youre so talented can i suck you er dick?"
#⚠️#fuck someone sent me an ask asking if i do commissions someone else asked me a couple weeks ago too and like i genuinely dont know if i#wanna do commissions idk how 13 year old me did commissions i feel so bad thinking about the mere concept of someone giving me money even i#it is for me to draw somethjing for them in return#i dont want your money i would say just give me your fucking idea and ill draw it but i would like compensation for my time but the idea o#getting paid for this sounds terrifying to me#maybe im just i dont value my art that highly lol#one of them imposter syndrome having guys despite how much i talk myself up on my blog#i just sorta wanna live in the middle of fucking nowhere with a really nice view out of my big as windows and let the sunlight shine on me#as i draw pretty men and body horror and pretty men going through body horror
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dilemma. i'm in love with my best friend. and by in love i don't mean in love, we're both aroace, but i mean he's my person. i'd grow old with him. and i thought we'd gotten to a place where the feeling was mutual. until recently when he told me that he was gonna try to make a qpr work. with another friend whom he's known for like a couple months.
obviously that broke my heart bc i thought we were sort of in a qpr already, like what's a qpr if not a devoted bestfriendship? but what can i do. i want him to be happy, and if being with that other person (whom he calls his boyfriend now) makes him happy then so be it.
anyway me and my friend have this tradition of watching an episode of a show together each night. usually online bc we live far away from each other so we just press play at the same time and text each other through it. but now, some nights (usually a week at a time, they have long ass sleepovers) are reserved for his new boyfriend. again, that's fine, what can you do. if they're happy, etc.
BUT. he had the audacity to be upset that i watched an episode of a show we've watched together in the past by myself this week while he was with his boyfriend. the pilot episode, so it's not even like it's anything we haven't both seen before. he was like wait are you really watching this without me rn?? and what i really wanted to say was that he's been doing a lot of things without me so it's only fair. but i didn't wanna sound petty and bitter (which i am! but people don't have to know that lol). instead i didn't reply.
anyway yeah i just wanted to vent a bit. thank you for coming to my ted talk i hope you enjoyed my stupid little monologue <3
#😬#i'm just going through something#like should i get some distance from him?#should i just accept that he has a boyfriend now even though i sorta thought that we were together in a weird aroace kinda way?#i've already let him know how i feel btw like he knows i'm uncomfortable about their relationship and he knows i wish he'd picked me#he said he was gonna be mindful of my feelings (meaning not flaunt his new relationship) and in a way he has but like#oh the episode thing really pissed me off lol#he was upset at me for breaking our tradition when the only reason i watched an episode on my own was because he wasn't there to watch it#with me like we usually do#arghhhh anyway#i love him what can i do#.txt#relationship problems#relationship advice#qpr stuff#qpr yearning#queer relationships#unconventional relationship
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...
#ok. ok. in less than 8hrs i have to get up and drive to the airport. and thats ya kno but im trying to b ok abt it#like im not crying and hyperventilating. ive made the drive lots of times. its just. when i have to drive anywhere it morphs into#r u ready? ur gonna cause a horrible accident destroying multiple lives in the process. r u ready? and im like no i hate that stop#so that makes it hard. and im not a bad driver. it just terrifies me thst i space out and become non reactive. like thsts not good. be#reactive pls. i just hate it. and this means i also have to drive back as well. while probably horribly jet lagged#bleh. itll b fine. unless it isnt. but itll b fine. im just scared that something will happen and i wont b able to leave. i cant even b#excited abt going on vacation bc i cant think past the possibility of something preventing me from getting to ohio bc if i let myself get#excited then it wont happen. which is magical thinking nonsense but its how it feels. ugh. dont think abt it. itll be over in 24hrs 🤞#knock on wood. idk what im gonna do while traveling tho. what am i gonna think abt? what to draw? what to plan? idk#the bad part of traveling is thst i cant take all my markers 😫 me and my 500 shitty alcohol pens lol#ill either draw a lot bc im not working or very little bc ill actually be happy for a while#oh god. my boss just sent an email. i wanna ignore it. let me rest.#bleh. last time i flew home i wanted to cry when i landed lol. well see if that happens again#i feel like i was more depressed then but im more fucked up now. but like im also more functional. well. sorta#ugh. i should finish packing#unrelated#its so funny to me when i get homesick like lol bitch u wanna go back to ohio????
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📓🖊🧸🏢😣
#my old sorta friend from high school messaged me last night and was like hii do u wanna meet up tmrw and go to a cafe???#so i said yes for a few reasons...#however im sooooo anxious and i just wanna stay home lol#not only is it the having to put all my energy into trying to pretend to be a person capable of a conversation#but also like.. i dont have a buss pass so i have to be vigilant for controllers so i dont get fined#and then she said lets meet at a cafe. and i didnt wanna do that whole thing of like ohh im poor i cant afford that actually#so now im so anxious abt money bc i really cant afford stuff like that. esp not this last week i have like $30 covering stuff for 9 days :(#if i had more time than half a day i wouldve told her smth abt how i cant eat or drink in front of other ppl#which is also true but i dont feel as embarrassed saying that as i am that im poor lol#like yeah im not even as anxious abt meeting her again after 4yrs or trying to socialize with someone other than my mom#it's just all the anxiety surrounding money lol. and i think that no one except other ppl who are poor can get that#just one item from a cafe can get me food to sustain me for 3 days. so i dont wanna spend it on a cafe. but it's too late to now ://#i dont wanna ruin the fun for her and ask if we can just do smth that spends no money lmao. ughhh im gnna have sooo much anxiety over this
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not totally sure on the timeline btw but i kinda like to think that magolor and zan at least were close because zan was a little distant from her sisters due to being the one who takes the brunt of hyness’s schtick and they both bond over feeling isolated and targeted? im torn between that or him being pretty separate from the mage sisters due to hyness’s weird “i hate the ancient halcandrans so fucking much and i’ll fix you as their descendant by making you go down the RIGHT path but also you are a reminder of what your people did to my own and i despise you for it” thing towards him, and once he leaves THATS when zan starts taking the brunt of everything
#i think regardless tho in the present zan and mag hate each other or at least strongly dislike each other#bc it takes time for both of them to unlearn what hyness instilled into them and they do that at their own pace in different ways#and it takes zan a very long time to let him go basically and realize how harmful he was#so she still perpetuates his ideals and pushes people away and isolates herself further from her sisters#while magolor like. still grapples with some stuff but as the end of rtdl he's sorta sorted through some of his shit#and has gotten better abt not having a superiority complex and manipulating people and allowing himself to be close w others#without sabotaging it (but hes still kind of an ass)#and they just really clash bc at this point mag is like 'lol fuck hyness actually''#while zan still feels very loyal to him and is angry at him for helping kirby during star allies#pic of the lesbian kicking the gay man basically#theyre both fucked up and in the wrong basically. but slowly get better as the years go by#hm... man now i wanna make a kirby future au that goes into some of this#bc i like to think that zan gets help and reconciles with her sisters eventually (also widowa gets w her lol)#while magolor is. still a dick but hes a lot more genuine now and has become a far better person hes just a petty ass#so they get along better but still butt heads#echoed voice
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dude what kinda message is "don't take revenge on your abusers!!!! move on🤪🤪" literally shut up sammy ily but SHUT UP if the kid wants to kill the men that beat him and the woman who watched THEN LET HIM. not everyone can be as forgiving and moral as u
#ik its sorta the series' mantra or whatever#yknkw that FAmIlY Is EvEryTHinG and such#but FUCK IS IT STUPID#dean can choose to forgive his shitty father if he so desperately wishes but that hardly means everybody else should forgive theirs lmao#and sure maybe sam could go away but like not everybody can. yknow#idk my point im not saying murder's great but if you beat a kid for no reason then you deserve whatever happens to you for it lol#watching supernatural#oh this is about max miller#poor kid he definitely deserved to kill his stepmum#she sucks#if you let a kid get beaten you should get stabbed to death methinks
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