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#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way
motherforthefamicom · 2 months
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trying to find some oldass drawings of one of my first sonas i havent been able to find em yet but instead ive just been unearthing all these old notes an ex friend and i would pass to each other back in middle school
#fucking insane i forgot abt a lot of these. i feel kinda bad keeping them that person kind offfff completely ruined my and many of my#friends lives but also. theyre kinda funny to look back on idk#theres one they made that was like ‘i drew the 2 of us as guys haha no reason lol’. idk how he identifies now but back then they were#very very openly a lesbian and last time id heard of him he had transed his gender#i remmeber . so clearly feeling some kinda way abt the art i couldnt articulate at all at the time. Lol#god that whole situation was so fucked im not gonna get into all my personal middle school bullshit becuz it was soooo stupid but like. man#insane#i know ive always been kind of a pushover ill admit but its soooo frustrating looking back like. man..HOW did i just not say anything at al#i wouldnt have gotten into that whole mess if id just been honest 😭 i mean tbh that guy was . i dont want to say anything too like . awful#he was going through a lot absolutely had his own issues they were working thruwe were all like 12 but again .#completely ruined me nd my friends lives for a while . i feel like he wouldve just pulled rhe same thing w someone else as the main target#okay no i need to stop talking abt this i said i wouldnt over share#its mostly just funny seeing all the old art tbh. most of it was before shit got bad so its sorta bittersweet in a way#inquisitivewaltz.txt#i dint know why im talkign abt this sorry#this is honestly something i think abt a lot sometimes . especially the stupider nd more mundane bits#but it was such an awful part of all out lives i cant really discuss it much w friends#everyone else has a much more ‘thank god were not in that anymore now lets pretend it never happened’ outlook on it which is understandable#idk#sorry im oversharing again i need to start keeping a journal or some shit
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the-coranic · 3 years
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Voltron Tag
Because I just want to do it.
How did you discover the show? I discovered it through my dad. He was a fan of the 80s series when he was a child. He even has an old toy yellow lion and Hunk out on display. Around when season 2 was still new, he was basically like “Hey, you should check this series out! I think you’d like it. There’s also a character voiced by the same guy as Finn.” so we watched it together and bonded over it.
Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the show? I fell in love immediately and I hyperfixated on it for at least a year. It's still special to me despite all of its issues, and that hyperfixation still comes and goes.
Do you have a favorite episode(s)? There were so many good ones. I honestly don’t know what my favourite is, but to name a few:
The Rise of Voltron
The whole Balmera arc, because Hunk is my son, my star, and I love to see him shine
The Black Paladin
The Depths
The Blade of Marmora
Blackout
The Legend Begins... just any glimpse I get at Blaytz and Gyrgan
Reunion
Monsters & Mana
The Black Paladins. THE KURON VS KEITH FIGHT SCENE YOOO
Do you have a favorite Paladin? Lance was always my favourite, and Hunk is a very close second. I think I relate to them the most.
Do you have a favorite Lion? Blue. I always wanted to pilot Blue. Maybe because it’s one of my favourite colours, and I’ve also got a connection to water - being a Scorpio, living on the coastline, being interested in marine biology, and being a swimmer? Idk  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you have a favorite Alien Race? Whatever Plaxum, Blaytz and Gyrgan are. I wish we got to know more about the last two, especially.
Favorite side/other character(s)? I absolutely adore Coran. Outside of Team Voltron - Matt, Kolivan, Acxa, Rizavi and Veronica, and I was also really intrigued by Lotor before they messed him up and turned him into sOUP???
How/Why did you join the fandom? I got really involved in the fandom because I just loved the show, but the only people I could talk about it with irl was my dad and kind of my sister. My old main tumblr was just all VLD for that period of time, and I mostly posted fanart and some memes, gushed about Klance, and convinced thousands of people that Mothman-fan!Keith was 100% canon. It was great.
What are some of your headcanons?
Shiro has a younger brother that Keith reminds him of
And before their history was revealed, I thought Shiro was like Keith’s adoptive father, or at least a supportive family friend who took him in after his dad passed
Pidge is autistic and non-binary, because me too
Lance has ADHD, because me too
Lance and Hunk were childhood friends
Autistic, lactose intolerant, hippo-loving, Mothman-simping, gay, half-Galra, Korean-Texan cowboy Keith was wild and pretty funny to me, and I still subscribe to most of that lmao
What do you think is the best part of the show? The characters and their potential was always the main draw for me. They’re still so important to me. I also loved the art style, the alien designs, and big robot vs. monster fights are always fun to me.
What were your hopes and wishes for future episodes/seasons?
I knew Keith was gonna inherit the black lion but I choose not to shut up about black paladin Allura
More fleshed out backstories (which I’m working hard on for my rewrite rn)
Getting to know everyone’s families better
Shiro speaking some Japanese, Lance speaking some Spanish, or just the Paladins sharing more human culture with the Alteans rather than just the other way around.
*cough* Canon Klance, although I also like the idea of Allurance. I just didn’t like the way they ended up portraying it. They also didn’t do a very good job of shutting down Klance and convincing they weren’t also in love lmao
Just Lance being happy again tbh like wtf?
Did you stick it out until the end of the show? I ended up dropping the series around season 4. I don’t remember if it was because I was already bored or too disappointed to go on, or that part of the fandom got too much, or just because I changed hyperfixations and didn’t get around to finishing it. I learned what happened next through other people’s reactions and it was so disheartening, but I finally rewatched and finished it myself recently. It was a rushed blur, but it was nice to relive the good moments.
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meruz · 4 years
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Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.
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Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.
1. When did you get into art?
Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.
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2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? 
LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.
In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.
3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.
Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.
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4. What defines your artistic style?
You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...
Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.
5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?
I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?
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I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.
One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.
6. What levels of artistic education have you had?
I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.
7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.
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heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...
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assorted valentines prep doodles
8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?
Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.
10. What do you like most about your art?
I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:
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So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.
14. What do you like drawing the most?
Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.
oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.
15. What do you like drawing the least?
mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.
18. What is your purpose for drawing?
This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha. 
20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)
Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL
In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.
22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”
This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.
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And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.
24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)
I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look
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25. Draw a picture!
Man I’m so tired now but here.
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I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.
OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.
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I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!
I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!
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That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.
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Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:
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from top > bottom
- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen
- tombow fudenosuke
- muji 0.38 ballpoint
- medium size poscas
- grey tombow double brush pens
- good ol bic mechanical pencil
not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.
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You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3
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Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...
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uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.
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I assume these asks are related? LOL
1) Yeah totally true. I love David.
2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].
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spiltscribbles · 4 years
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Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚
OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency   that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3
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The FIC this HC is from 
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So first off some background on his mum in the story 
I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine,  so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!! 
She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh
She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on  when he comes out as gay.
It was 1950  when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side,  she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.
 They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network  was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.
So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in  1955,  subsequent to  Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became  absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely. 
They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).
So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day  for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers.  And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone  by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.
Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.
The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.
Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda. 
There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally  meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking  charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously,  she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst. 
The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement. 
Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.
The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.
But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that  if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled  with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.
It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually  to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!
Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)
It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery  and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.
Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all  under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.
When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE!  And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.
Ok so sadness warning
In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen  scarf that smelt like her perfume.
 It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like  he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.
One night, in late 1979, while  the war was only getting worse and worse—  Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment  that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only  reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.
Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?
Thank you again dear Nonny!!!
Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written
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oceanselevenism · 4 years
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I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?
omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)
- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous
- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)
- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents
- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)
- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great
- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence
- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long
- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)
- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross
- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts
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disaster-fruit · 4 years
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What are your favourite lh ships and why?
this is tough because as I said before I’m big multishipper and i like pretty much any ship audhia Also hm long post what a surprise. 
BrArg is obviously the OTP. I am of course biased because I’m brazillian and brarg is the ship that makes most sense for basically all Brazilian i talked to (even the ones that ship other stuff) asuhdau like brazil just doesn't have a CONNECTION with any other country as i has with Argentina. A friend of mine put it best when she said brazil tends to feel culturally very disconnected and isolated from the rest of latam, but we feel connected and integrated through the rivalry with Argentina. Of course brazil is not isolated at all in terms of commerce and diplomacy, but when it comes to how the average Brazilian feels about the rest of the continent i think that is spot on. Theres just... a lot of history and rivalry but also when you think about the characters themselves they also just go so well together asuhdaius i live for their chaotic jock dynamic. Tbh there's many more reasons but that would just make this the brarg ask so i’m gonna stop right here.
OTP number 2 is GuayGuay/UruPara/whatever u want to call it. its just asduhuhfaud SO SOFT. i didn't expect to fall in love with this ship this much but like?? everything abt their dynamic works for me, and the many directions it can take. It’s just a very interesting ship with a lot of nuance and background but also it can just be the soft ship that is happy and wholesome and above everyone else’s bullshit. But when you want to get angsty you can get ANGSTY because they’re passive-aggressive and they are proud and know each other very well and it can get MESSY. 
other ships i live for:
ArgChi. Just. SO MUCH HISTORY HERE. the dynamic is not one of my favorites tbh it makes up with how much HISTORY and rivalry there is and also how funny it can be while also having space for angst 10/10 very good ship. 
BrUru. Very wholesome. The right ship for the simple man who just wants good things for luciano and sebas. Can be angsty too which is a must for all my ships, but mostly a simple ship good ship. I think i like it mostly because they're my BROTP and from having a brotp to thinking friends to lovers scenario is just a natural step for my self indulgent ass
BraChi. I didn't expect loving this ship as much but then i learned from some chileans on twitter that apparently brazil and chile have been allies for a long time and that brazil is the only country in sa that doesn't hate chile hahahs there's many things i like from the ship, from being relatively isolated from the rest of the continent in different ways and finding connection in that, the comedic potential of it, like in the sense that no one can understand what they're saying (and they cant either), and also how much these two would annoy Argentina together ashasash also BrArgChi is my OT3 that should be obvious. 
ArgPer. Not much to say here, just another brotp turned ship for me very good.  VeneCoco, a ship i actually don't know that much about but everytime i see it I'm like asdisdfsdfsdfsd yes yes yes give me all of it. BolChi, enemies to lovers but just up the enemies part to a 1000 and well not gonna say its a wholesome ship but its definitely a funny one and full of angst and very messy.  ParaBoli, tiny landlocked babies must protect, can kick your ass but probably wont, cottagecore bfs. ArgPara........... ok its very sexy i have no idea how or why but it IS and that's enough for me. EcuPer, cute funny i enjoy it when i see it. PeChi, also very funny and well there’s a lot of old zu art of them and everything zu draws i fall in ove with immediately. 
These are some that i like most but believe me i am BIG multishipper and pretty much any ship you can think of i can find something about it that appeals to me.  
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palizinhas · 4 years
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For the asks, I'll ask Phineas and Ferb! And if you've already done that, Phineas for the character asks! :)
You know what, I’ll do both!
This is enourmous though, so under the cut.
PnF:
Favorite character: Ferb!! I just think he’s so chill and fun to watch. So many of my favorite moments in the series come from him, because he may not say much, but he says everything he needs to say and more than makes up by his lack of lines by crushing every single one he does have. Also helps that whenever he sung the song was an absolute highlight for me.
Least Favorite character: God. Linda. It’s just. IDK. She’s so unable to take Candace seriously, and if she really thinks that “there’s something wrong with her”, she should do something about it. I know, I know, it’s just for the jokes, but that has always bothered me.
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): My only real pnf ships are Phinabella and kinda Perryshmirtz (it’s just this thing where there’s so much cute art for them that I’ve just come to accept it as not being that weird, though I don’t blame people for being grossed out by it). I’m also lowkey fond of Candace/Vanessa and Buford/Baljeet, but I’m not sure I’d say that I really ship them. To round it up with number 5... I’ll cheat and say PnF SW Phinabella, just because PnF really got me to buy into the Skysolo expy huh.
Character I find most attractive: Growing up it was definitely Vanessa, but they’re all my children now.
Character I would marry: Lawrence seems like a chill husband.
Character I would be best friends with: Baljeet’s subplot in CATU being how much he likes Space Adventure was super hashtag relatable as someone who is super into SW. We could nerd out together, it would be fun.
a random thought: I wish they’d make a sequel to PnF SW. I’ve joked about it being named “Emperry Strikes Back” in the past, but it’s just... I love SW. I love PnF. PnF SW is a masterpiece. Let me have more of it.
An unpopular opinion: I’m not even sure what counts or not as unpopular, I’m not that involved with the PnF fandom like I was three years ago, but I think I enjoy CATU more than ATSD. Not because I think it has a stronger story - ATSD just has a lot of plotlines everyone always wanted to see, so no PnF movie will ever touch it in that sense - but I just think CATU is more fun. It definitely has a better soundtrack, but even outside of that I find myself thinking about CATU more than I ever did ATSD outside of writing fic where they remember everything.
My Canon OTP: Phinabella, of course. It will always be so weird to call them “canon”, but they are. AYA’s quality or lack thereof aside, I’ll always be glad for the episode for being the first PnF episode I watched in years and getting me back into the show, and I don’t think that would have happened were it not for my 13-year-old self struggling to read in English because there were no good PnF fanfics in Portuguese.
My Non-canon OTP: I already talked a bit about Perryshmirtz, so I’ll talk about Candace/Vanessa instead. I just think it’s so cool how their relationship evolved over the course of the show. A great thing about PnF is that despite having a very strict formula, there are some relationships that changed over the course of the summer, and these two legit had never even met before the show began and turned out to have such great chemistry.
Most Badass Character: You can’t not say Isabella. There’s Perry too, of course, but I think Isabella impresses me more because she’s not some badass secret agent, she’s just... a kid.
Most Epic Villain: Darth Ferb!!! I went into PnF SW mostly unspoiled and that was so cool.
Pairing I am not a fan of: Um. I have nothing against Canderemy, per se, but I always preferred Candace when she had plots with her brothers or Vanessa than her plots with Jeremy.
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Sometimes I think about the Mission Marvel episode and randomly get mad. It’s not even one specific character, I just don’t think that crossover worked. It’s probably the only episode of the show I only watched once, and I just... really don’t like how some of the characters were written in it.
Favourite Friendship: The kid crew is the best, man. All five of them are such fun characters, and I love all of their interactions. My favorite pair within it is probably Buford and Isabella, who I just think had some really fun scenes together, but you can’t go wrong with these five.
Character I most identify with: Growing up it was definitely Baljeet, as the nerd kid who got picked on and all that. Now, I’m not sure?
Character I wish I could be: Honestly, any of the fireside girls. They seem like they’ve got their life together. Wish I could relate.
Phineas:
How I feel about this character: Phineas is such a good kid. I always preferred Ferb, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think Phineas is awesome. He’s so nice, such a genuinely great person who just wants to help everyone so they can have as great a time as he is having.
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Just Isabella, really. I think there’s probably some good fanfic that makes a case for Phineas and other people (Baljeet could be cute, I guess?) but I just can’t really see Phineas with anyone else.
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Ferb!! They just get each other so freaking well, and for all that the actual story of PnF is less about the two of them and more how the other characters react to them, I don’t think the show would have worked if their relationship wasn’t as good.
My unpopular opinion about this character: Again, not sure what counts or not as unpopular. Maybe that I wasn’t into the “Phineas gets angry at Candace” scenes? Like, I remember before CATU came out people would always talk about wanting another, but I was so glad when the movie came out and we didn’t get one. Get on the trike was funny, but after that it got annoying.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I found the Phineas and Ferb Effect (the actual thing, not the episode) a weird choice, but if they were going to go there, I’d have enjoyed some actual aknowledgment on how weird it was. I know a lot of things got cut from the crossover for time, so I get it, but I do wish there was more of a reaction from Phineas and Ferb to finding out about it.
Favorite friendship for this character: I do really enjoy Phineas and Isabella’s friendship? Like, while I do ship them, I was never really one to wish they’d get together within the show because I didn’t want their dynamic to change, because it was just so good on its own. They’re such good friends regardless of anything else and I really appreciate that.
My crossover ship: I don’t do crossover shipping most of the time, tbh.
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judehayward · 4 years
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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨
「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」
he pinterest:
me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!
ta-da it’s aesthetics:
lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects
about tha Bitch:
born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot
jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born
they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do
spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out
they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face
despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family
they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran
(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor
(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all
bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill
he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........
he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot
ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 
ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 
(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)
this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘
EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....
PLOTS!!!!!
plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................
mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed
someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company
jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie
perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever
currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything
HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all
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uzuuzuking · 5 years
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so this started out as just a general post about why i like cinderella adaptations, but slowly spiraled into a ranking/review of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen in my short, young life. so strap in for possibly the longest post i’ve ever made on this blog. (look, i never know how much i have to say about something until i really get going lmao)
idk why i like cinderella adaptations/remakes/spinoffs so much? most of them are garbage (especially the ones within the last 10 years don’t @ me) but fuck it i like this brand of garbage. it’s fun to watch these movies and rework the bad plotlines and dialogue in my head as i go along.
i guess i like the source material and some of the aspects of all the different adaptations, but honestly i just like re-imagining them because there’s only so much cringey script-written-for-teens-but-clearly-written-by-40-year-old-adults-who-have-no-idea-how-teens-or-even-people-for-that-matter-actually-talk-and-interact i can take in one excruciating sitting.
anyway here’s my personal ranking of all the cinderella adaptations i’ve seen that no one asked for. (not including stage productions because i haven’t seen any and have no opinion of them. also not including into the woods because that’s not just cinderella, but a spectacular amalgamation of fairytale mishap and shenanigan.) and reviews because apparently i had more to say than i originally thought when i first started constructing this list:
cinderella (1997) - the absolute best cinderella adaptation of all time, hands down, this is non-negotiable. this movie has it all: an excellent and diverse cast, gorgeous costume design, beautiful sets, some of the most dazzling dance numbers i ever witnessed when i first watched it at the wee age of 4, and a positive, progressive message that was accurate for its time yet also so ahead of its time. i cannot praise this version of cinderella enough, it is my all time favorite and one of my top 3 feel-good movies. if you watched it today, the effects might not be as magical compared to what we have now, but keep in mind it was released in 1997. anyway, the cast is truly amazing and so effortlessly inclusive (and honestly the fact that the prince was asian with a black mother and white father and they literally never addressed it was such a power move). i could go on about this movie forever (i’ll probably make a whole post dedicated to it in the future) and what it meant to me and many others as young, impressionable poc. in conclusion, this movie set an exceedingly high standard for me and destroyed the chances of any other cinderella adaptation even hoping to live up to that. i love it! so! much!
ever after: a cinderella story (1998) - tbh i never saw this until i was in college but i immediately fell in love. i love the flow of the story as a whole - i never felt like anything was missing. i love the costumes and i especially love how danielle and henry’s relationship progressed throughout the film. slow-burn comes to mind when i watch their interactions and we all love a sweet, sweet slow-burn. it’s romance babes! it’s Dramatic in a few scenes and all i can say is that it really works because drew barrymore’s performance is exceptional, fantastic, engaging, more adjectives to describe how enthralled by her i was. above all, her character is compassionate - she uses her voice to speak in support for those who are suppressed by the flawed government systems and law enforcers, and influences the prince to use his status and power to better his people who lack the privileges of the nobility. she’s such a strong female lead (emotionally and physically - she literally fireman carries her love interest, who is taller than her and definitely exceeds her own bodyweight) and truly the mvp of this adaptation. watch it. watch it for Her.
enchanted (2007) - amy adams and idina menzel - ‘nuff said. okay but for real this one is so unique with its transition from classic d*sney 2D animation style to the real three-dimensional world and i adore it to the ends of the earth. the music? slaps! the story? slaps! the development of the main character? slaps!! she’s so princess-y and d*sney cartoon-y and struggles in the real world, but she adapts at a good pace and i love that she learns to be realistic while also keeping hope and love close to her heart. also her mother figure / daughter figure bond with morgan is so so precious. the only constructive criticism i have for this movie is the fact that we were robbed of idina menzel singing!!! did they know all along she was destined to play the frozen queen years in the future and decided against her singing in this one?? is that it? ridiculous. it’s been over a decade and i’m still seething over this. other than that this movie is *chef’s kiss*
ella enchanted (2004) - anne hathaway’s back must still be hurting from carrying this film. (no shade to the other cast members, they’re good, but anne is a queen and i forever love her.) this is another childhood favorite of mine. the story itself is a refreshing take - hats off to gail carson levine for the source material! i’ve talked about the differences between the movie and book before in the midst of my reread of the book a few months ago, but i don’t remember how much i focused on the movie. it’s so different from the book that it might as well be its own thing. on its own, the movie is pretty decent! again, mostly because of anne. it’s funny, it’s sad (especially that scene towards the beginning between ella and areida, i’m in stupid tears every time), and it gets weird but it’s a fun time. the chemistry between char and ella is so zesty i can feel it through the screen, i swoon over both of them. tbh i probably wouldn’t like this movie so much if not for the fact that anne hathaway is truly talented and i spend most of my time watching it just looking at her. 
cinderella 3: a twist in time (2007) - i genuinely enjoyed and appreciated how the characters were written in this one. they all had clear motives and became much more dynamic through their lines and actions (drizella is arguably the most static character here but she still amuses me so it’s fine i guess). cinderella has more agency since the stakes are higher. prince charming actually has a gotdamn personality and has some of the funniest scenes and dialogue. good for him. i was kind of sad that anastasia’s story with the sweet baker boy was thanos snapped by the stepmother, but she and baker boy get a cute credits illustration together so it’s still canon! maybe i’m more biased on this one because i grew up rewatching it A Lot, but i definitely prefer it to the first and second movies.
cinderella (2000) - this one is kind of weird but i like it? the film has a really interesting vibe that i’m still trying to figure out how to describe even after seeing it like 5 times. wikipedia refers to the aesthetic style as “the glamour of the 1950s” which just might be as close as we can get. it follows the general guidelines of the cinderella plot, but the main differences were: zezolla (cinderella) was already helping with the chores before her father remarried, claudette (stepmother) was actively trying to murder zezolla’s father during their marriage, the stepsisters were much more violent and crass (they hunted zezolla’s beloved farm animals for sport and talked about getting “a man in [their] bed”), zezolla’s father was manipulated by everything claudette did and said and treated his own daughter poorly as a result, and prince valiant is honestly kind of a douchebag but seems willing to improve himself after meeting zezolla (basically his vibes are iffy but he’s willing to learn). this whole movie is pretty niche and i have yet to interact with someone who’s also seen it. and the only reason i’ve seen it so many times is because i just like listening to how the dialogue is delivered. (except for prince valiant’s random song at the ball, i kind of hated that and i skip through it every time lol).
a cinderella story (2004) - the classic hilary duff version. very cliche early 2000s high school romance, but it works for the cinderella narrative. not particularly diverse. a classic nonetheless. in my mind this is the pinnacle of the “modern cinderella movie” type. this is one of the most iconic movies for us zillennials and i’d like to think it’s known well enough for me to not go into a lot of detail about it. basically it was fresh and new for its time, had plenty of memorable scenes, and did i mention hilary duff? the film kind of plays into the “not like other girls” trope - as do a couple of the movies i listed above - but i’m just going to acknowledge that the early 2000s were Wack and simply move on. all in all, i like this movie for the nostalgia, iconic scenes, and hilary duff. also jennifer coolidge is pretty funny as the stepmother.
another cinderella story (2008) - again, an early 2000s classic, but this time with selena gomez. i liked the dancing in this one. i like selena’s quiet, somewhat timid characterization of her character, mary. and jane lynch in the stepmother role is perfection. she’s so fun to watch and is always hilarious. the story is nothing remarkable, but it’s okay and i liked it as a kid. after the hilary duff version, this one still managed to feel fresh because, though it was similar in its modern era approach, it focused more on the performing arts and dance. “cinderella” is an aspiring dancer, rather than the 2004 aspiring scholar. the “prince” is a famous popstar, not a football player. the stepmother is an outdated popstar desperate to stay Hip and Relevant with the kids, not a cranky botox lady. honestly i just love watching this one for the dancing, mary’s genuine and innocent love for the “prince”, and literally everything that comes out of jane lynch’s mouth. that woman is a dialogue gold mine.
a cinderella story: once upon a song (2011) - lucy hale is good. missi pyle is good. they play their roles and lines that they’re given fairly well. over all, it’s entertaining. lucy, of course, has them Pipes and i do like the songs in this movie. the only major downside for me was the “token best friend of color” trope. lucy’s best friend is an asian girl who’s good at sports and is there for one liners and support. the prince charming character’s best friend is a black guy who he only knew for probably a month at the most. he can beatbox, sing, and dj. basically he’s also just there as support. they really don’t do much for the plot but they’re there for diversity and whatnot. this movie is.. fine.
cinderella (1950) - the only reason this ranks so low for me is because i watched it a lot as a child when it was on vhs and it always felt like a fever dream to me. i was just really young and didn’t feel invested in any of the characters. it is a classic, though, and i would watch it again and be able to enjoy it.
cinderella 2: dreams come true (2002) - i liked cinderella’s and anastasia’s stories from this one. jaq’s was meh. it was fine.
dj cinderella or cinderella pop (2019) - netflix knows i like cinderella adaptations so, naturally, they shoved this into my recommended and, naturally, i watched it. twice. which is more than i can say for the following review... so this movie is brazillian and is pretty much the cut & mold of modern cinderella movies. but she wants to be a dj. she stars out living a perfect life as a wealthy girl with a loving family, but turns out her dad is cheating on her mom with his secretary. that’s when she “stops believing in love”. which is actually valid bc if i saw one of my parental figures cheating on the other, i honestly wouldn’t know what to believe in anymore. anyway, cíntia dorella (yes. that’s her full name.) and her mom move into her aunt’s place. a year or so passes. stepmother/secretary/cheating lady is throwing an extravagant birthday party for her daughters and hires freddy prince, a popular musician who cíntia doesn’t really like. meanwhile, cíntia gets a dj gig she’s excited for until she finds out she’s the opener for freddy prince at her stepsisters’ party. she ends up disguising herself as “dj cinderella” and freddy is super into her. it’s pretty generic from there but i was entertained enough to watch it twice. take from that what you will.
cinderella (2015) - ok so we been knew that d*sney’s live action remakes ain’t shit, and this one is no exception. d*sney within the last few years has been like 99% aesthetics and marketing. this movie was visually stunning, especially with the settings and costumes. those were the only 2 things i truly liked. everything else was forgettable. in its defense, i did read a post about the “have courage and be kind” message which is something wonderful to hold onto, especially for anyone in an abusive situation like ella. that’s valid and i respect that. i still lowkey hate this movie tho. i started getting a headache about 4 reviews ago, but remembering how much praise this movie got has reignited my fighting spirit. honestly if you like it, that’s good, you like what you like and that’s that. but this is my review and i hated how proper ella’s posture was (she’s been doing physical labor hunched on the floor for years now, how does she not slump around in exhaustion at the end of the day??), i hated how perfectly curated the whole thing was (again, that’s mostly because of d*sney and their aesthetics), and i hated how hollow everything felt. i can’t perfectly describe it, but i never felt emotionally invested in any of the characters. something about their performance was lacking and yet again i blame d*sney. i actually really like lily james, but something about the way she was directed left me devoid of emotional attachment to ella. i remember nothing about ella’s step family or the prince. that’s how much of an impact this adaptation had on me. also i just remembered the fairy godmother as i type this. i ADORE helena bonham carter, but this movie does a horrible disservice to her. if she liked working on this movie, then i’m happy for her, but even she wasn’t strong enough to sell this to me. i saw this movie in theaters and came out of it lamenting my waste of money that i could have spent on something i would have actually enjoyed. but the thing that enraged me the most, the thing i despised, i detested, the thing i seethed over and rant about to this day was the ONE (1) token black character. i don’t even know if he had a name but he was captain of the guard or some shit. if i remember correctly (but probably not tbh this movie was so forgettable), he was the one who heard ella singing and was the whole reason the prince was able to have her try on the glass slipper. this man, who had zero character development, zero relevance to the plot, an insignificant amount of screen time, is suddenly the reason the main character is able to finally connect with her love interest. um. What. i hate how the writers treated him and i will forever be filled with every last grain of salt over this. anyway he’s my favorite character and everyone else is just eh. to conclude this ungodly long review, i don’t like this movie. i tried to watch it again once but got so bored i quit 10 minutes in. do yourself a favor and watch cinderella (1997) instead. (the only reason this movie is ranked above the remaining 5 is the production quality. but i guess that’s unfair bc d*sney has the big bucks. and maybe i wouldn’t be so harsh if i weren’t sleep deprived and grumpy from a sugar-induced headache, but these feelings still come from my Chest so idk.)
a cinderella story: a christmas wish (2019) - i think we all secretly enjoy christmas-themed movies and this has got to be someone’s guilty pleasure. i was mildly entertained (but again with the cringey dialogue written by people clearly not in high school...) and i do like laura marano. but they autotuned her to hell and back - which i loathed - because the woman can actually sing and she has a lovely voice. she got to sing candidly one (1) time and i relished the experience. my ears thank her beautiful, un-autotuned voice. other than that it was.. fine. i didn’t hate it but i didn’t like it either. laura marano deserves better than this. (can’t say the same for the other actors tho because their roles were unmemorable.) also laura marano was super cute in her elf costume!
not cinderella’s type (2018) - i legit forgot about this one until after i compiled the entire list lol. i saw it on youtube and it was decent as far as i remember. it’s another modern day cinderella. i think the “prince” runs over “cinderella’s” cat or something?? i’m pretty sure it was her mom’s cat so now she has nothing left to remember her mom by. prince boy feels awful and tries to befriend her or do something to make it up to her, but she just doesn’t really like him. i think her aunt and uncle are emotionally abusive to her and prince boy does his best to be there for her without making things worse. if i remember correctly, i liked that aspect of the movie because it’s hard to be there for a victim of any kind of abuse if trying to help them could potentially hurt them more, especially minors still under the care of abusive guardians. anyway i think cinderella girl’s best friend is in love with her or something but she ends up not being into him and slowly gets together with prince boy. she eventually moves out of her guardians’ house and into the spare house at prince boy’s home (he’s rich or something). i need to rewatch this movie tbh i could be wrong about everything here lol.
rags (2012) - not amazing, definitely not memorable because i have nothing to say about its plot or writing, but it has keke palmer which is its one redeeming quality. also it’s the only one on this list where the male protagonist is the cinderella. so that’s solid i guess.
a cinderella story: if the shoe fits (2016) - this was a movie. it happened. i vaguely remember how ridiculous it was and sometimes i felt secondhand embarrassment. i don’t remember what about specifically, but i remember the emotion. sofia carson is a talented singer. i think she’s a decent actor but this script was Bad.
elle: a modern cinderella tale (2010) - i only watched this one because i was bored out of my damn mind and saw it on youtube. i felt bad for all the actors because this script was terrible. i don’t recommend this unless you’re about to sit down with your squad and make fun of it.
apparently descendants is on the “cinderella adaptations and references” list on imdb but i refuse to put it on my list because it’s not a cinderella-specific adaptation and i don’t like the descendants franchise. now, if we’re going to discuss a quality series about the children of fairytale characters, that would hands down be ever after high. but that’s a different topic for a different day.
thus concludes the ranking no one asked for but i felt compelled to make. thank you and goodnight
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caandlelit · 5 years
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Dabihawks college au?
man this is literally the most valid au the league have been described as "dumbass 20 something year olds" and "stupid college kids" at leasT thrice nd thats really all they are
lmao, next time the manga updates itll just be jin going "woaH woAH heY that went dark tenko" and itll be zoomed out to show a table where the league sitting around with because theyre actually a bunch of nerds playing dnd
except its a whole new universe with quirks bc shimura thought dungeons and dragons was too restricting
more on that later perhaps?? i have a sudden many thoughts™
okay so dabi takes art !! because hes gonna be a tattoo artist, the best au tbh
hes strolling through college he doesnt care what happens hes already got a job at his favorite tattoo parlour hes doing chill
which is hugely different from fucking everyone else
hawks is taking the hardest fucking criminology and psychology courses
hes gonna end up a detective u know he is
he wants to help the world but he hates attention???
and his backstory was like, that he saved some people and the police ended up needing him somehow
idk im not a crime fiction author im barely an author
and theyre impressed af by how quickwitted and smart he is
then they ask him who his parents are and when he shows them the neglect he lives with they woOSH him away
and he ends up being fostered but hes gonna have a police career
police detective! ft! buddy cops with rumi!
(i am writing a cop and thief au now. i get sidetracked easily)
dabi as the chill as fuck delinquent guy who doesnt seem to care about anything and is breezing through classes he loves and claims to have never touched a book
and hawks as the constantly stressed and yet cheerful and lovable guy who lives in the library and still manages to be friends with everyone on campus and their mom
dabi secretly a graffiti artist in his spare time please give me the good shit??
hawks as the loser in love with the murals and messily intricate spraypaint telling stories on the walls near the campus coffeeshop and all through the streets he walks through to get to class
he tries to detective it out, has a notebook where he writes down every clue he can find and all the places hes seen that unmistakable art style
dabi meets hawks because hawks catches him graffiti-ing up an alley near hawks' dorm
its like late night and hawks is getting back from, noT a party
the library
where he fell asleep
again
and he sees dabi whos hood is up and is in full black and busily spraying an intricate design of flames licking up what look like angel wings
and hawks freaks for a second cause !! this is the guy!! holY shit and he found him by chance!! insane!!
then inhales and whispers a cool line
'thats illegal in like literally every country i can think of you know'
dabi, the bitch, doesnt even turn around and just scoffs and goes:
"who r u a cop? mind your business"
hawks brightens and starts and when he starts he doesnt stop
'um actually- i aM! or thats what ill eventually be! hi, im hawks, and, uh, sorry man i was mostly kidding about the illegal thing, mostly, like, it iS illegal but i dont care, ive actually seen your art a lot and its great to finally meet the artist cause your art is amazing dude, i love your style, i always feel some kind of emotion even with all the cuss words hidden not so subtly in the corners-'
dabi turns around, eyebrows raised cause goddamn this guy talks some shit, and when he turns around his eyes widen and he's like holy fucK
bc
surprise!
he has a secret crush on him!!!
im so predictable its not even funny
hawks is the pretty boy dabi has been stalking ever since he saw him dead asleep in the library a month ago and thought was the 'cutest person on the planet even though he was drooling and snoring and had eyebags visible from like so far away and oW okAY fuyumi yoU rant abt girls to mE i am allOWED to rant abt boys to yOU jaCKASS-'
so from then on they keep seeing each other everywhere
or well, dabi had already been seeing him everywhere, the pitiful stalker that he is
hawks was just too dead to the world to notice
hawks spills his coffee on dabi while hes at a hurry in starbucks and hes like oH shIt and when he looks up and sees dabi hes like,,oh shiT,,,, and theyre both all flustered and hes babbling apologies and promises to buy him another after his class
leaves in a hurry and dabi wonders if he just scored a date
the league is a frat and you cannot convince me otherwise!! meet me in the fucKIn pit
ive probably said that before tbh
well
i am a dumbass bitch. i will never change. this is a promise.
so dabi's in the frat and theyre always teasing him about hawks and telling him to grow some balls and get his number but,,dabi's a pussy ass bitch
theyre constantly flirting and toeing the line between friends and wanting to fuck
but theyre friends and always hanging out and getting to know each other
hawks starts chilling about his classes more and dabi gets better at showing up to his own
hawks gets to know the league through dabi and within a month hes practically an honorary member hes bffs with everyone
hes suddenly always at the frat and playing mariokart with jin and spinner
and then staying the night in dabi's room when it gets too late for dabi to feel okay letting him walk back
and sharing beds and then waking up tangled together nd staring at each other blushing
and hawks stutters and tries to excuse the way hes pressed up against dabi and not moving at all
and then he wonders why dabi isnt moving either and dabi just sighs and kisses him quiet
dumbasses??? as fuck
let! them! be! the! stupid! college! kids! they! are!
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Survey #261
“i hate you for every time you ever bled for me.”
If you have a job, how long is your shift? I'm unemployed. Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? It's too short for that. What language did you take up in high school? Latin for one semester, then I took four of German. Do you like sunflowers? It's illegal to live in the South and not lmao. Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yeah. Would you rather be called honey or baby? Hunny. What is your favorite card game? Even though I never learned it super well, I used to enjoy Magic: The Gathering and have actually been like dying to play it for months lmao. How many emails were you sent today? None. What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? Well I mostly got money life chose I didn't get to use, lol. I honestly don't really remember anything else prominently... sounds bad, but yeah, so is my memory lmao. What have you thought up yet for this year’s list? Well it's only April, but a treadmill or something like that is at the top right now. Do you have any embarrassing usernames? Ha ha, none that I still use. Do you have a backpack in a shape of an animal? No, but I almost got a meerkat one. But it was too small. :'( Have you ever waxed your legs? OW no. My hair is too long and thick. Have you ever taught a little kid to flick people off? lol wow no. Have you ever itched yourself until your skin was raw? I do that remarkably easy, especially on my legs. I literally have long scars from it. Do you always clear your history after using the computer? No. Have you ever had your food stolen by a bird? Ha ha nah. Are you responsible for stuffing someone's stocking? No. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I absolutely hate raisins. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? It greatly depends on a lot of things: the person's health, financial position, etc. Have you ever watched Bob's Burgers? A couple times. It was pretty funny if I remember correctly. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? UUUUGGGGGHHHHH leather. I've wanted one since middle school. ;_; Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No. I honestly didn't pass notes, but I find it mean as FUCK when teachers do this. Privacy is a goddamn thing that should be respected. I do not support passing notes in class, like you're there to learn, but having it shared in front of all your peers is not the fucking answer. I get heated about this shit. What's your favorite perfume that you own? I only own one that's called "Blush" from rue 21. It smells really nice, though. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? No. I'd rather clean something that isn't already. Do you have an older brother? Yes. What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? Lol I'd probably say "mood," but it depends on our relationship of course. Like there're times to be humorous and light-hearted about it and other times when you don't make it about you. If they're clearly more sad and especially if I don't know them well, I'd say something like "I understand," because I can almost guarantee I do about this. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Have you ever been to jail? No, I'm a good noodle. :) Are your collarbones prominent? No. ;_; You can see them, yeah, but they're not like very obvious. It's one of my biggest motivators to lose weight though because I am dyinnnnggg for dermals there, but I think it would look weird without that contrast. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? When I was a kiddo. Ugly things. Do you own anything tribal print? No. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? I'm not even very interested in beauty, yet I love Jeffree Star??? Nikkie is cool too. I've found I watch more for personalities than content, in all genres of vids. Do you like Skittles? More like LOVE. Do you have a PillowPet? No. If you do, what kind of PillowPet do you have? N/A Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank the fuck to god no. That shit sounds absolutely terrifying. Is there anyone at home right now you wish wasn't? No. Do you like Placebo? Tbh I can't think of one song by them rn. I know I've heard them, Mom's even got a CD I'm sure I've tried out long ago when I got into her music, but obviously nothing stood out well enough, at least back then. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? As a kid, yeah, usually my dad. Could you happily date someone prettier than you? Yes???? Do you know anyone with cancer? Both my mom and grandmother right now. Are you easily offended? No. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? HI we've always been poor so no. Not just that, but they knew better than to spoil us. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have. Do you watch My Strange Addiction? No. How attracted are you to the last person that kissed you? A bit above moderately ig. Have you ever known a white supremacist? HUNNY I live in the South. In regards to who do you think "what if?" Jason as a fucking whole is my absolute "what if." Do you like the smell of a barbecue? Yes, even though I enjoy like almost no food at most of them. Doesn't stop it from smelling good. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? I can't even imagine someone calling me that, no. I'm the polar opposite. How much money do you spend in a month on clothes or accessories? None in the average month. What was the last clothing item you wore that doesn't belong to you? A pair of Mom's pants. I didn't have any clean pairs. Do you own anything with your state or providence's name on it? No. Got no interest in sporting anything relating to a boring-ass, bigoted, racist state. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? WOW A LOT!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like the Paranormal Activity movies? Yeah, I do. I mean yeah, they're fake, but what horror movie isn't even though it claims it is, honestly. How do you like your oatmeal? Apples & cinnamon with a bit of sugar. Does it make you feel better when an ex starts dating someone unattractive? No. Appearance doesn't mean shit when it comes to what the heart wants. What's your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a sandwich w/ grape jam. Do you fall in infatuation easily? Infatuation, I'm not sure. Who has initiated most of your first kisses? Considering almost all previous relationships, usually me as they all knew I needed to go slow. I'd only do it if I was aware they'd wanted to kiss already, though. Do you like bows? Omg yes, cute shit. Has a boyfriend ever made you breakfast? Yes. Jason first went to college to be a chef. Are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions? Probably words when you consider I'm slow with physically doing that, but I'm honestly really affectionate either way when I'm comfortable with you. Do you like Cheez-Its? VERY MUCH SO omg keep them away from me. Do you ever use coloring books? Not anymore. How do you feel about instrumental music? I have to be in the mood for it. Have you ever been on a trapeze? No. What's the coolest natural event you've ever witnessed? I still don't know to this day what it was, but I THINK it was a star exploding. Scared me, man. Seeing the big lunar eclipse last year was also wicked cool. Do you know how to use chopsticks? HA, I never could. Not with my tremors. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine's Day when it goes on sale? No, I don't need chocolate. Do you think bunnies are cute? I would fight God to give a lop-eared bunny one (1) pet. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I've had a friend get something published in a magazine before, and during one stay at the psych hospital, I met a published poet. His stuff was really good. Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? Otw home from Illinois. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? Yeah? I'd assume everyone would at least know one... If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? The thought "I'm bored" every five minutes. What's a song that makes you feel happy? "Jump" by Van Halen came to mind first. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube. Do you need money to be happy? To a degree, yes. Money can buy happiness - but again, to a degree. Saying it doesn't is bullshit. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably just OC ideas, lmao. I've thought of some decently cool stuff recently. what is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cinnamon rolls uggggghhhhhh How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three if I'm seriously hungry. If you could switch places with someone for a day, who would it be? Is "Mark's girlfriend" even remotely surprising lmao but no seriously she's an amazing and productive person like I WISH. What's the last song you listened to? "Roots" by In This Moment is on rn. Do you like the movie Zootopia? Ye! Do you ever go on Pinterest? Yeah. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A Reese's. Tell me a line from the song you're listening to: "I'm stronger than I ever knew - I'm strong because of you." Have you ever participated in a march/protest? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah, for dance classes and school stuff. What did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Popcorn. I may have gotten sour gummies, too? Idr. Who was the last person to see you cry? Mom. Do you listen to music every day? There are rare days where I don't. I'll be watching too many actual videos. Do you have a hard time making decisions? A STUPID hard time. I'm extremely dependent, including when faced with decisions. I second-guess myself with everything. Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? Before. How many times have you been to a museum? A good number of times. We live pretty close to an art + science one. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Most likely not. Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? A panda so it wouldn't be legal to shoot me lmao. Do the stairs in your house have carpet? We only have one floor. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? Oh wow, no. Even when I was a dancer, I SUCKED at that. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Is your family dysfunctional? To a degree. How old were you the first time you travelled alone? 22? What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? I don't know. Not long. We only ever really stayed at one when we had to go to Myrtle Beach for annual dance competitions, and those were only like, a weekend. What architectural style was your childhood home? Uhhh idk. Very normal. Tell me a bit about your last relationship. What was it like dating them? It was great, but also stressful because of distance. What's the largest animal you've seen in the wild? Maybe like a large buck or something. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not that I'm aware of. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. What political issues are the most important to you personally? Gay rights and the pro-choice stance. Does your neighborhood have a community garden? I've never even heard of such a thing. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Acting secretive or cryptic about who they are as a person. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? Visually that I've seen a good number of pictures of, Utah. Are there any obscure foods you've eaten that most people have never tried? I very much doubt that. What's the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I'm unsure. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? Yeah, I did one of those diet things before... but the name is evading me, even though it's super common. Nutrisystem, maybe? Do you have any pets? If so, how old are they? Venus is around five, and Roman is two. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? My psychiatrist and former therapist predict my discomfort around men, particularly when they're behind me, and extreme fear of rape is rooted in two kids from pre-k that used to chase, randomly hug the hell out of, and try to kiss me. I'd actually entirely forgotten about it until we really started to dig deep, so I guess it's a repressed memory. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? WOW no, son. What's your favorite DIY crafts youtube channel? I don't watch DIY stuff. What was your high school's mascot? Firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Megan, Maria, Girt, and Dennis were The Crew. Who was your first boyfriend or girlfriend? Aaron was my brief puppy-dog love, but Jason was my first real boyfriend. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. If I slept on the top, but bottom is getting crushed lmao. As a little kid though when Nicole and I shared a room, I had to have the top bunk until I got a bit older. What insects are you afraid of? BEETLES, CICADAS, AND LARVA GET THE FUCK OUT. Honestly most insects scare me to a degree. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I think the aforementioned Aaron did in middle school at least once before we dated. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Swimming in the pool, if they had one. What's one way in which you're still a child? I'm dependent as shit on my mom. What's one way in which you're old? I now say "back in the day" sometimes lmfao. Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? Both at different times. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Only once at a certain age. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just kinda swim around and think, or watch nature. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I know I have, but they're evading me, gaaaah. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I only ever wear black. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Uhhh never really paid much attention to brands. Do you put all your stuff for class in one binder or several? When I was in school, I had one binder with dividers, but I also had specific folders too. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. What’s your favourite flavour of sunflower seeds? I hate those. What’s your favourite flavor of muffin? Chocolate oof. Have you ever had carpal tunnel? I do. I haven't had problems in a couple months, though. Are you one of those people who is really smart but has no common sense? OW FUCK OFF. How old were you when you met your first love? I was just shy of 16. Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? We occasionally did as a kid, but they definitely don't have that where we live now. Has the last person you kissed met your family? She met my mom, dad, and younger sister. What was the last strong emotion you experienced? Who was responsible for it? Remorse. Myself. Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? Yes. Was the last conversation you had an argument? No. If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? I am not in the financial or mental position to get married right now. Where was the last place you got completely wasted? I've never been "wasted." If you could have anyone as your roommate, who would you choose? Sara. Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? Wow no. Well, MAYBE when I actually worked in stores and I was supposed to, but I don't remember doing that. Do you go for walks often? I never do because of having no area to (my house is along a dangerous curve), and I need to be very careful because of muscle atrophy in my legs. I need to have easy access to a place to sit and recover or else I get very close to collapsing. As mentioned, I desperately want a treadmill. Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? No, I'm 24 years old. My mom would never in her life do that at any age anyway. How strange do people say you are? Idk?? That's not something I really try to find out because my AvPD would possibly make me cry asldkfjwe. Have you opened food at a grocery store & ate it without or before paying? I would never do that without, but I have before in cases of being very dizzy and knowing I desperately needed food. How artistic are you? I think I'm pretty artistic, but more in concept than actuality... Like I have so so so SOOOOOO many ideas, particularly with drawing, I just don't. Do it. Can you legally drive? Not currently, because my permit has been expired since last year. Did anything dramatic go down yesterday? No. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? No, thankfully. Have you seen someone recently you used to talk to, but don’t anymore? No. Are you comfortable sharing drinks with your friends? No; I don't even share drinks with family. Honestly, have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? No, I hate that shit. When you were a kid did you ever look up “sex” in the dictionary? Actually no. I literally didn't learn anything about it 'til family life in the 5th grade. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing right now? No. Are you shorter or taller than most of your friends? I'm a normal height, really. Honestly, do you double dip? If I'm sharing, no. All you have to do is break the chip. What was the last junk food you ate? I had a little bit of popcorn yesterday.
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monkey-network · 6 years
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Steven Universe is Anime Garbage (And That’s Okay)
WARNING: This is gonna be a very weebish brain fart. I didn't come into writing it for any purpose, I just decided to write out my general stream of thoughts to see where it took me. This was the result. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.
A key to enlightenment is the severance of attachment
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Can’t deny it. Steven Universe is a cartoon practically on the boundary with its many fans. Some find it engaging and wonderful, others find it wasted potential and struggling, and others are terrible fans with no sense of control or integrity, like most fandoms really. But I, a fan since its beginnings, wish to make a case that could potentially bring everything and everyone together in somewhat reasonable understanding (a stretch, somewhat). Steven Universe is a trash anime....and it is the best trash out here. Now I’m not saying this because it has an anime look, or that Jasper is a tsundere, or especially...
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“Hey it’s a reference to that one anime that’s also very aesthetic™ and sad with lesbians and allegories!”
Nah, I’ll be real with you here. Now we really can’t deny that Steven Universe has its major flaws, not a hard pill to swallow way I see it. Wishy washy in tone, seldom in world building, basic animation, off putting character models, and so forth (though the last point is a malleable nitpick tbh). Furthermore, we can’t deny that the “plot” is up in the air and really not in the mood on coming down with anything truly shaking yet (putting a pin in that). But, I won’t deny that it looks good, some characters are worth my investment, and there is some development to be had in all this, for better or for worse. You could say it’s down the middle, so where am I going with this? Well, I think I found something that may be able to bring this together: Sword Art Online
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*imitating Austin Powers* YEAH, BABY!
For those unaware, Sword Art Online is a light novel turned RPG Game turned full series anime about thousands of people getting trapped in a VR game with one seeking to escape by beating the 100 levels of the game. It has action, death, good game feel, wonky gameplay, and fanservice.... I do not and will not recommend this to anyone, nor am I just comparing this to Steven U because both have OP protagonists, a myriad of female characters, and how one character is generally Lars if a better person initially. To repeat, I’m not saying these shows are the same in plot and such. Though the similarities certainly come in their perceptions and reactions.
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Also dual wielding
Let me sidetrack a bit and do understand, at the time SAO premiered, otakus, anime fans, and even esports fans were hyped! This was before My Hero Academy blew millions away, before Attack on Titan throttled its theme music onto people, many were stoked and kept up that stokeness for this for quite a bit. This was SAO’s keepsake: Mass Appeal and timing. Then people started seeing the cracks of the show’s true faults, and now we’re at the point where more of the franchise is coming and the fandom is dragging between people that find it sucks or never should’ve been invested in the first place, people that continue to make the lemons into lemonade regardless, and the creeps (you know who they are). Sound familiar?
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I mean we could say the same thing for the current Star Wars fandom, but that’s a tad more complicated
But this isn’t enough to say this is trash anime. No, like SAO, there is one thing that can tie everything together to implode into an enveloping infinite wormhole of foolishness and cleverness. One moment that just brought everything together and is gonna put everything together in the end. The definitive proof that...
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Rose Quartz was the Origami Killer all along!!
But seriously, this was a twist that certainly cemented itself into being on par in writing with SAO and similar trash series. I mean, from a meta perspective, it’s pretty hilarious that the biggest twist the show presented was mostly considered a joke in the same way people thought The Simpsons could predict the future with the absurdist jokes they made. And really, all the symbolism and foreshadowing from every episode previously doesn’t excuse the blue balls I felt with the recent two seasons. I’m sorry guys, the eye opening revelation can go so far with someone who was only glad something actually came together after so long (even if the episode leading up to it lacked that “special shit”).
But as for Pink Diamond being the real Rose Quartz, the twist admittedly lack that impactful-ness and really shows how they’re twanging a string in the efforts to make you take the story seriously. For one thing, it’s pretty stupid to believe that nobody questioned the abilities the one Rose had compared to a typical quartz, not to mention that it felt pretty convenient that she never lost her form revealing her gem to anyone beside Pearl. Secondly, it kinda bait and switches not just the ideal, but a reasonable idea of Rose Quartz for just being the ambitious dictator turned anti-villain bent on liberating the Earth from her bigger than thou parents and more or less her own armada. Like, “Ha ha, you thought Rose Quartz was an ordinary gem that had to make genuine sacrifices in her efforts to best the higher ups and liberate her kind. But in reality, she had the abilities to win all along and generally did everything for the sake of not being a dictator anymore. MWAHAHAHAAAA” We can examine the complexities behind her motivations all we’d like, but that just feels like rewriting the already stupefying concept to make it sound more sensible.
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Funny enough, Rose could’ve definitely working as the Charles Xavier of this series but they never delve into that reasonably valuable concept*
Lastly, it sort of--lack of a better term--irons out the whole show up with Steven being Pink Diamond, if that makes sense. In the back of my mind, I’ve generally lost my suspension of disbelief in believing that a fourteen year old child is not only the reformation of a failed rebel leader, but said failed rebel leader actually being the supposed antagonist and jumpstarting source behind everyone’s frustrations, ambitions, and tragedies. As if Steven wasn’t special enough on the fact that he can revive the dead, like Sword Art Online, it’s already apparent that he’ll generally win in the end due to him being the Special, the Ninetail, the Last Jedi, the Hollow, and the Fullbring all in one. It’s kinda hard getting invested in your story when I can’t care about your protagonists! Maybe he might actually suffer long term consequences, but I don’t have much in the future since it now feels hard to relate to the protagonist, who by the way is the central protagonist meaning no episode can go without his presence apparently.
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He’ll enter your dreams if he must
And I’m afraid that Steven Universe has officially sunk to trash tier anime. And frankly, it’s always been anchored to this. I mean with SAO, as much as I saw before quitting, there was plot variety, not plot flips. It is one thing to have your series shift from light villain of the week slice of life to something like Oedipus Rex, but to get this far, nose diving into this belly flop of a reveal, to then ask to be taken with a modicum of seriousness, what? To put so much ambition into your work, that you’re essentially believing your own hype, barely exploring a big handful of your own ideas, until now, trying to make sympathy and reason coincide with the villain(s) instead of making them somewhat real. One could say “Monkey, it’s not about taking on villains, it’s about achieving resolve within the group’s personal struggles.” And while that is a reasonable and pathetic way of saying violence can’t resolve things, it doesn’t bear the fact that the Crystal Gems were essentially fighting villains beforehand while achieving resolve, so why change things up now? Especially when the villains before don’t bear any quirk of their own besides being relative to the plot. Or a plot, since again, it wants to be taken seriously with the “story” it has, but juggles way too many things that it can feel hilariously jarring when the show actually gets somewhere.
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And as a character drama, the establishment of its world and idealogies don’t feel as valuable when the importance and passion to them are continuously muddled or dull
And this is the way of trash anime. People shouldn’t have to continuously think of how things could’ve been better, why plotlines and characters don’t mesh well, why it can just feel so contrived. Yeah it’s unfortunate that an SU Critical community exists, and yeah sometimes they deserve scrutiny because some try to make it deeper than it is, but we can’t deny that this all appeared from a vacuum. With criticisms can come a consistent string of logic that some things have turned up wrong, something that the series failed to grasp previously. Like SAO, most Shonen works, and “those” shows that I won’t speak of, this series was and has become a glorified gamble on your interests and the anticipation to see where it lands, how cathartic it’ll be, and what’s to look forward to and look back on.... has somewhat slimmed. While it is most certainly its own thing, it doesn’t bear that evolutionary yet timeless nuance Avatar and Adventure Time has, nor the continually captivating hook the best anime can have with its episodes and characters. This series has gotten stupid...and I say it’s not wrong to think that way.
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Anime isn’t that big of a mistake, you guys. Come on.
If there’s anything I learned as one of the smartest idiots around, it’s that stupidity can be enjoyable; trust me, I know. So while I say SU’s anime garbage, I’m not saying it’s the bad kind that kills your mood/investment like the shit I found. it’s the Rocket Raccoon of Cartoon Network (and if you’ve seen Guardians 2 and get where I’m coming from, I love you for it). It’s still enjoyable, for the most part, and I’m not gonna ignore the influence it had on its fans. Hell, Black Panther is a movie I find flawed as fuck, but I and the millions (and the millions) still recognize and appreciate it for what it provided, for black people especially. While it can be predictable, there are some good moments to think over, for better or for worse, like how the Rose Quartz was subtly hinted at throughout the seasons. It’s still competent in some aspects, there are a few characters I still love and, to unpin, things look like they’re finally heating up. It still has that “Fuck yeah” spirit buried underneath, like many anime good and trash. It’s certainly better than Star vs th- Point I’m getting at is that this series sure as hell ain’t bulletproof, but I’ll gladly bandage it up and see it through to the end. Not as some guilty pleasure, but as a series that staggers constantly and consistently but makes up in keeping it compelling (in a way). That’s a quality only the best trash anime achieves, shooting itself in the foot while proudly making that run to the finish line. I’m not just blatantly criticizing it or supporting all the hype it makes, I’m embracing it for going this long with this many bruises, willing to take more hits, all the while never really losing sight of what it set out to do. I’ll still smack it upside the head for the stupid shit it might pull, because I know it can and will, but that smack is delivered with love. And really, is that not a reasonable feeling to have?
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Steven U is anime garbage... and I’m fine with that.
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dillydedalus · 6 years
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books i read in october
will i even read anything this month? MAYBE NOT (i did.)
der gang vor die hunde (going to the dogs), erich kästner  the restored full text of kästner’s fabian, a satirical novel about late weimar berlin and how it is.... going to the dogs. it’s witty, everyone is dancing (and uh, fucking) on the edge of the abyss, fabian sees the end of europe everywhere he looks, but my favourite bits were honestly kästner’s incredibly sharp & funny postscripts (one to the moral censors, one to the art critics - ‘this book is not for confirmees, no matter how old they are’), and the blurb calling berlin ‘der zärtliche moloch der moderne’/’the tender moloch of modernity’. 3.5/5
hier ist noch alles möglich, gianna molinari longlisted for german book prize. a short novel about a woman who decides to become a nightguard at a rundown factory where a wolf has been seen (maybe). mostly, it’s ramblings about borders/boundaries, intrusions and separations of space (the wolf coming into the factory, the fence of the factory, islands etc). it’s interesting, but it’s a bit too long for what it did. 2.5/5
when hitler stole pink rabbit, judith kerr i’ve had this book for like. probably 15 years? god. anyway, somehow i never read it and picked it up now to get it off the unread shelf. it’s a fictionalised account of kerr’s childhood as a refugee after her jewish family leaves germany just before the nazis come into power, and their struggle to make a living and find their place in the countries they escape to. it was really well-done, not overly didactic or sentimental & i should have read it as a kid i guess! 3/5 
die liebe unter aliens, terézia mora short story collection. i listened to the audio book, which only has 5 of the 10 stories (which i didn’t know before), so that’s a bit disappointing. anyway, the title means ‘love among aliens’, but sadly there were no aliens :(. just alienated people trying to find something/themselves/etc. i liked mora’s style, but the only story i rly liked was one about a japanese prof who falls in love with a goddess. 2.5/5, gave it 3/5 on goodreads bc i only heard half the stories 
buried in the sky, peter zuckerman & amanda padoan i find mountaineering disasters morbidly fascinating & am kinda obsessed with them (throwback to last year when i read into thin air & told everyone who’d listen not to climb everest & they were all like.... wasn’t planning to but okay??). k2 is only slightly less high than everest but much more difficult technically (all the climbers r like.... oh everest is so easy i wanted a real challenge like.... k). anyway this book is focused on a particular disaster on k2 during which 11 people died, as well as on the position, history, culture etc. of the indigenous ethnic groups that live in these regions & work for mountaineering expeditions (Sherpas being the most well-known but there are others as well!). since the authors weren’t on this expedition, it’s not quite as harrowing and immersive as into thin air  but it’s still plenty harrowing! horrible deaths! the deaths of the high altitude workers were incredibly tragic & while obvi the mountaineers’ deaths are sad too, i feel like they know what they’re getting into & they’re not doing it out of economic necessity but for like... fun? the rush? pride? idk. but anyway if you don’t wanna die... don’t go into the DEATH ZONE. it’s literally called the DEATH ZONE DON’T GO THERE. anyway yeah i find everything about extreme mountaineering super fascinating & terrifying & this is a good one, tho into thin air would be still my #1 rec. 4/5
wenn es nur licht gäbe, bevor es dunkel wird, iunona guruli tbh i mainly got this on overdrive bc i hadn’t really read anything from georgia (the country in the caucasus, not the american state). it’s a short story collection (mostly about/set in georgia but written in german) on themes like drug abuse, gendered, sexual & domestic violence and depression, so... not much fun here! there is a dreamlike quality to some of the stories which i think contrasted well with the quite dark themes, but overall the stories were too similar & blended together too much for me, and sometimes the style seemed a bit too laboured. 2.5/5 
unter weißen, mohamed amjahid really good, persuasive & engaging examination of racism in germany, accessible without being basic. i haven’t really read a book like this about specifically german racism and its particularities, especially one so recent (it was published in 2017 & the context of the ‘refugee crisis’ is rly important). amjahid (who’s a journalist with die zeit currently) works w/ a lot of personal anecdotes and they are uh. horrible. like, one chapter is about the paternalistic side of willkommenskultur, where he goes to munich train station to interview volunteers welcoming refugees and some of them immediately cast him as ‘helpless ignorant refugee in need of our benevolence’ & dehumanise him to the point that they don’t even register that he’s speaking to them in german like. fuck. 4/5
desintegriert euch!, max czollek (actually finished this a bit later but it goes well with the amjahid book) while amjahid discusses racism in germany both in general terms and specifically islamophobia, czollek focuses on german antisemitism and advocates for disassimilation & alliances between different marginalised groups in rejection of german ‘leitkultur’. also he talks about daniel kahn in a chapter on jewish revenge & i love daniel kahn. 4/5
the white guard, mikhail bulgakov (tr. from russian) look, the situation in kiev after the russian revolution and the multiple military take-overs of the city is interesting and all (tho incredibly confusing if like me you don’t know who any of the factions are or what they want), but where’s the devil? where are the witchy vibes? where is the demonic talking cat? 3/5
der vogelgott, susanne röckel so this was shortlisted for this year’s german book prize and i can totally see why. it’s disturbing, compelling, has a lot of conceptually interesting weird stuff going on and it almost really worked for me. it’s a story about three siblings haunted by a strange & horrible birdgod after their father, a hobby ornithologist and taxidermist, kills a bird he shouldn’t have. while the siblings live very different lives - one goes to a fictional african (?) country to work for an ngo, one is working on her doctoral thesis on a medieval german painter, the third is a journalist researching strange fears and dreams that are troubling the city’s children - all of them become entwined with this birdgod and the cult(s) surrounding it. my problem is mainly that the book uses the ‘too horrible to describe/comprehend’ trope way too much, which is effective the first few times but eventually wears off & just becomes annoying and like.... so what?? also, the first sibling’s chapter uses some very colonialist tropes about the savage religions and customs of the uncivilised natives, and while there is an attempt at subversion here (e.g. the same cult being present in medieval germany apparently), it didn’t feel like enough for me. but overall this is a really interesting, disturbing little book. 3.5/5
king lear, shakespeare (for uni) honestly... i expected more from this, tho to be fair reading it in a rush for a seminar (that ended up getting cancelled anyway) probably wasn’t ideal. overall i just.... didn’t feel anything about anyone (except the YAAAS BITCH vibes for regan/goneril/edmond’s shenanigans), many characters’ choices & actions didn’t make sense to me & i was disappointed that cordelia wasn’t a character as much as a ~pure selfless angel for lear to have feelings about. 2/5
currently reading: the bloody chamber by angela carter which i’m high-key loving, white dancing elephants by chaya bhuvaneswar, also two comics/graphic novels: john lewis’ march series and saga book one
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Esme x Reader
@peakystitches​ said:
can you please ship me with someone omg?? i'll give you freedom to choose WHOEVER ok, i trust you <3 ok so; I'm a stubborn, humoristic 19-year-old with a passion for art and music. i LOVE nature aka i live on the countryside/seaside of norway so i have no choice, aand i am v talkative and i love discussing things like history, literature and politics
(Note: this is weirdly lopsided and disproportionate and I’m just so sorry tbh it’s 90% intro and 10% romance and I am a MESS forgive me)
You knew Esme since you both were tiny, though not particularly well. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that you knew of her. Your family was among the 300 that lived in close-knit community of the Black Patch under the rule of Esau Smith, and Esme’s family was constantly traveling, but sometimes they’d settle temporarily in the Black Patch if they were down on their luck, or during the winter, when times were particularly hard. And besides that, there were always fairs, and weddings, and the massive unbroken chain of Romani gossip connecting vardos all over the country. So even if her curly hair and lovely face were mostly a blur in your memory, by fifteen you knew more or less everything about her, including that she’d beaten Ronnie Smits in a horserace, and that she was rumored to always have a knife in her pocket, and that she’d sworn she would never marry. That last fact was interesting, but not enough to make you seek her out.
After all, you were pretty busy in your early teenage years. You felt between the urge to ramble about, exploring the deeper corners of the park and paddling through the canals beyond. You got your dress torn up by black briars, your hair cut short to prevent it tangling in low-hanging branches, your mother worried almost all the time. But it was a good life.
At around thirteen, though, you happened across a copy of A Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, by pure chance, having traded it for a hair ribbon you know would be wasted on you. Which pretty much changed your entire existence. You became obsessed with the book, the way it let you into worlds you’d never been to before, the feeling of freedom that came with that. Before that book, you felt like there was nothing outside the Black Patch you much cared to know about--cities were ugly and dirty and full of gadjes that couldn’t cook to save their lives--but fuck, cities had books.
After that, it was only a matter of time and much pleading before Esau finally let you ride along with him to oversee the handling of Letty Smits’s court case. You behaved so well--suspiciously well, actually--that he let you come with him on other errands after that, legal arguments mostly, but sometimes dealing with other business, too. You were always so quiet and so grateful that he either didn’t notice or didn’t care about the two things that comprised your city education: books and rage.
Books, because you devoured every shelf in the library like it was your second job, faking a name and address easy to get your card, becoming friends with all the librarians. Rage, because the court cases were usually bullshit, and built on the kind of witnesses you wouldn’t trust to watch a good dog, much less trust with the five years in the life of a person getting locked up. Rage also because no matter how good Esau was as a horse dealer, he never got the respect he deserved from the toffs that bought the animals he’d taken such care with. And when Esau died in 1901, with you at the age of sixteen, those two things combined in one of the most potent events of your life: the summer election of his successor.
The camp swelled to almost twice its normal size with visitors, mostly there to mourn Esau’s passing, pay their respects, and attend the funeral, but also there to observe the rise to power of whoever would replace him. Esme’s family, the Lees, were among them.
Almost immediately, you clashed over who should get to vote on Esau’s successor. At first, it was just a cluster of you younger ones sitting around a fire, shooting the shit about who got married, who was going to get married, etc. But then the matter of the election came up, and it was mostly you arguing with Aishe that only permanent dwellers should get the vote, Esme sitting back and saying nothing. At the last minute, her aunt called her away, and she sauntered off, though not before giving a parting shot, exquisitely articulate, that made your ears burn. It settled the debate for the night.
The next morning, you got up ready to fight her. Not with fists, of course, but she was wrong. Why should someone who only came by the Patch once every two years get as much of a say in its future as someone who lived and died by its very existence? And why should she care? She’d said only last year that France was better, that we’d all be better off uprooting and crossing the Channel to a better life, that--
“Do you want Henty to win or not?” Esme demanded.
“What?” You had built up a rhythm. You had a speech all planned out. This was not in the speech.
“The first Queen of the Black Patch. You can’t deny she’d be good at it. Or are you one of those girls that think women aren’t suited?”
“How the fuck is that relevant?”
“Look around.” Esme gestured. “Those on the Black Patch have a loyalty to her, yes, but they’re also traditionalists.”
“Some of them.”
“Enough of them. And they may well vote for Tobar Mason. He’s kind enough, but he’s too fucking complacent. If there’s a snake in the grass, he’ll not notice until it’s too late. Is that what you want?”
“Visitors are hardly much different,” you manage to say.
“But three dozen of them are direct relations of Henty, and will vote on that alone.”
“The Irish ones.”
“Exactly.”
You both look over the camp, turning the numbers over in your head. Fuck, you didn’t want to say this, but.
“You’re right.”
“I am.” With a smirk, Esme flicked her braid over her shoulder and began to saunter away.
“Wait!” you called after her.
“What?”
“Is that it?”
“Is what it?”
You wanted a round two and that was all.
Later that night, you asked around, and found that Esme was still sticking to the oath that she’d never get married. That was a relief, for reasons you didn’t wish to examine too closely. It made sense that she’d need to warn men off, of course. Who wouldn’t want to marry her? Behind the sharp eyes and even sharper tongue, there was a mind, and of course beyond that, her dark hair seemed to have a life of its own and her body bloomed curves that made you, what was it, envious?
You found ways to be around her as time went on, even though you couldn’t find ways to talk to her properly. You were appalled to find that when you and she did talk, it was in snippets of politics, arguing back and forth like siblings, a tone you couldn’t seem to maneuver your way out of. She had a more agile tongue, but you had a broader base of knowledge. She’d seen more of the world, but you had studied more of it. She had the most luscious dark hair that refused to stay contained and you ran your hand through your own smooth mane if she ever looked at you for too long. And talked faster.
As the votes were announced and Henty made queen, she looked at you, cutting through the crowd, victorious but not smug, smiling like you were in on a joke, and. And you wished the funeral wasn’t already over, wished you had paid more attention to your gossipy aunt, wished you could figure out a way to hold onto her. Perhaps that was why you were the only one that seemed to notice when she slipped away from all the post-election revelry, climbing the shoulder of a high hill even as the drinks still flowed and the music went on. It wasn’t like her at all.
You followed her, of course. It was what you did, what you’d become used to. When you crested the hill, and found her sitting just slightly over the other side, you both had a decent enough view of the campground to the west and stark view of the moonlight getting cut to pieces by a thousand trees, turning the leaf-strewn forest floor into something like lace. The murmur of the river’s dark waters as it cut away to the south, where it would soon rejoin the canals, made the spot seem dangerous, delicious.
“Funny you should find this spot,” you said, and almost winced at yourself. Again, again, the slightly aggressive. For no reason at all. “This is one of my favorite spots, I mean. Just close enough, but nobody will ever think to look up and try to see me.”
“Us.”
“Yes.” You sat down next to her, imitating her hunched pose, hugging your knees. Neither of you were fragile twigs, but the night winds were nothing gentle, either. She moved a little closer to you. You checked yourself halfway to a pointed comment about her lack of a coat and stumbled on something slightly, slightly less prickly.
“What are you doing?”
Her dark eyes continued in their slow sweep across the landscape below. She didn’t speak, and for a moment, you thought she wouldn’t reply. “Remembering it.”
“Why?”
She turned and gave you a sharp look of suspicion. You allowed a gentle curiosity to show on your face, and she subsided. The way the leaves rustled...it was some kind of a softer night. Maybe you were lucky, maybe she was just tired. Her reply was an honest one.
“It’s the only place I’ve ever seen twice from the inside.”
“From the inside?”
“Owning it, having it, belonging to it. Like a home, even if it’s not legally ours.”
“It’s a home.”
She said nothing.
You added, “Yours, if you want it.”
Esme makes a soft sound in reply, and then the night wind sharpens. She shivers. “There was this house in Lichfield...I thought we could stay this time. Dad said he had it all sorted this time. It had a green front door, a stove in the kitchen, and space for horses...Now he says there's another place.”
“A river’s not the same as a stove,” you acknowledged, “but you can come back to it.”
“Yeah.” She seemed satisfied with being understood.
But you weren't satisfied. You picked at the long grass, braided it together with restless fingers, finally lay on your back with a bit of a flop and looked up at the stars. After a moment’s curious look, she followed suit, a stray curl of hair brushing against your shoulder.
“When is the next time I'm going to see you?” you said. Things felt right with her, for the first time, like your cracked the puzzle, and now she was going away. It seemed particularly cruel to have it on the last night, of all times.
“You know it's not up to me.”
“Still. You should come back soon.”
She turned her head to you, pale cheek pillowed on her dark hair. “Okay. Are you going to miss me, or are you going to miss arguing with me?”
“Do I have to choose?”
A smile broke out over her face that made the corners of her eyes crinkle up in real affection. “No.”
You took a long, slow breath. “I'm going to miss you.”
“Okay.” She reached out and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, but didn't draw her hand back, fingertips lingering on your jaw.
“Okay.”
When you kissed her, she smelled like wildflowers and the earth. Her glorious hair was so soft under your hands, and presently her dress was soft underneath you too.
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creepypocky · 3 years
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Hiiii! May I have a match-up please? One who is my lover and a best friend one? Thank you!
My sun sign is pisces. My moon is Sagittarius. And my rising is virgo!
I'm a intj my personality is mostly independent, blunt, bold, and chaotic
Im somewhat shy at times definitely when im in love with someone but im also not experienced being in love like tbh its awkward for me but I try to shove it away. Im really kind and a passionate with certain things, im really psychic and it really scares me tbh but I can handle it.
My sense of style is kinda walk it changes every so often bc of my mood but my main style is vamp or romantic goth! I wear rings, jewelry, and some makeup to go with it!
My most favorite animals are bunnies, frogs, lizards, raccoons!! Maybe sharks too? Idk they seem cute & cool to me
My sexuality is so confusing rn but im gonna put myself as biromantic asexual!
Im very picky with my partners of course they don't have to be perfect but im only picky with the way their attitude and actions are! Im a classy type of gal to be respected and not treated like a toy.
I suffer from c-ptsd, major depression, ged anxiety, ocd, anemia and dissociation. I also have allergy asthma ;-; its sucks man but ill fine <33
My hobbies are playing video games, listening to music outside, doing art when I have motivation.
For date ideals are going to the arcade, going outside and looking at the stars, spending time together, watching movies, and going out to party!
Also thank you very much when you get the time to do this I really appreciate the time and effort you put into yout writing! <33
Alright, just woke up and I'm gonna work on this ASAP since I put it off last night, I don't want to be too tired to give you a good post!
Before I get into the matchup, just wanted to say I'm terribly sorry you're going through those health issues both mental and physical. I whole heartedly hope you recover from them soon! Take care of yourself honey!
~~~
|| I match you with: Hoodie! ||
Hoodie is also pretty independent and blunt, he’s a very quiet guy obviously but it’s not because he’s shy it’s mostly because he doesn’t like people. Regardless though, he doesn’t take disrespect from people and he will be blunt with them.
He loves how bold you are, it attracts him a lot along with your independence. I feel like you two are really compatible since he’s just naturally attracted to you without even noticing at times.
When you two get into a relationship, he also shares that kind of shy feeling since he’s in no way whatsoever experienced when it comes to love. But he’ll definitely try his best to make sure you’re always comfortable and will be as slow and chill with you as you need him to be. Remember, this should be a mutual thing.
You a psychic? He’s interested. Tell him all of your predictions hon he’ll spend hours just listening to you go on and on.
He’s honestly pretty indifferent about styles but he thinks yours is cool, he loves seeing you dress up into goth outfits and see how they compliment your form.
Hoodie really loves nature so he also loves going deep into the woods, which means he gets to see all kinds of animals. He’s more than willing to bring you with him to see all the animals you like and see if you two can even get one. He’s... not so sure about sharks. He thinks they’re cool, though.
Don’t even worry, this man always respects you, until you do something shitty to him, that is. But, you’re his and he wants to show you he appreciates you. If anyone ever treats you with disrespect he’s always there to back you up.
This is very important; he is there for you when you’re suffering from those mental illnesses, whether it be to give you advice, calm you down, or just simply listen to you rant to him. He wants you to understand you’re not alone in any way and will always slowly help you get back on your feet. If you’re suffering from an asthma attack, there he’ll be watching over you and helping. Just please make sure to show that contribution back bc pls he’s going through stuff aswell this man is super pent up.
He’s not much of a video game guy but he’ll watch you play, maybe even play with you if you teach him how. Teaching him is kind of funny though tbh because he acts like an old man and doesn’t even understand what the game is even if he watches you play it for hours, lmfaooo.
He does love listening to music though, he likes to listen to music with shared earbuds as you walk in the woods together hand-in-hand. Pls let him watch you do art and show him, he loves watching you work. He finds it super interesting especially since it’s you doing the art. I also canon that he’s trying to learn how to do art and get better at it.
He will 100000000x look at the stars with you babe, you two constantly go out at night and cuddle under a tree just to look at the stars in silence. It’s one of his most favorite things to do with you.
He’s honestly not the best at going into public to do arcades or parties, but he’s willing to try and go out of his comfort zone for you if you ever want to go to them. Pls he just wants to see that smile on your face and have fun with you.
Best friend:
||I match you with: Clockwork! ||
This woman is also blunt and bold, so the two of you make a pretty good pair. She’s very caring once you get to know her and tbh she’s a bit of a mom friend towards you. She’s always checking up on you and making sure you’re doing okay and if you’re not, trust me she gonna coddle you till you feel better.
I canon that she has a bunny so when you two hang she brings him with her and lets you play with him and it’s super wholesome like fjhgjkg. She’ll probably kidnap some frogs for you too so the both of you can mess with them together.
Honey, as long as you respect her she will respect you back. In fact you’re one of the people she respects the most in her life because she loves how strong and kind you are as a person!
If you’re suffering because of your mental illnesses, she’s your go to for advice and/or emotional support. She loves you platonically too much to just let you suffer alone so she’s always by your side and helps you get back up on your feet.
She doesn’t know many games but she’ll play Minecraft and Mario Kart with you from time to time. Honestly sometimes she’ll just call Ben into the room to play some games with you instead of her because she’ll feel like she’s boring to play games with unless you reassure her.
She loves doing art though and seeing your works, she loves to paint and share art ideas with you. She’ll be your main person who gives you motivation to keep doing art and will give you constructive criticism on how to improve.
All in all, she’s a bit blunt and rude at first but is actually extremely caring for you and she’s like one of the most wholesome people to be besties with.
~~~
I hope you enjoyed this matchup hon, as I said earlier, take good care of yourself please. I hope you have an amazing day/night.
Also, thank you so much. <3 I try to put as much effort as I can into my writing even when it’s not the best.
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zigsexual · 7 years
Text
Theoreticals; part 1 (maxwell x mc)
lol remember when i started this in july and am just now posting it? also remember when i said that i would post it yesterday ha ha ha lol anyway it’s too long for one post so imma break this shit down into PARTS!!! 
this is the final companion piece to hypotheticals and empiricals, and honestly if you haven’t read those then u probably should because this one has a lot of plot throwback and also tbh its like very divergent from the main storyline seeing as i started writing it in JULY
summary: the coronation is actually happening feat. private planes, maxwell as a baby????? an unfortunate run in with some potpourri, dancing, drake, and an uber driver
word count: 3700+
Riley paces across her room yet again, halfheartedly feigning an attempt to pack for the upcoming trip to the palace. Her suitcase, empty but for a single black camisole and jeans, is splayed out across her bed next to Maxwell, who is also splayed out across her bed.
“Do you think I should bring my boots?” She asks. “My other shoes have like, no tread, and all of the roads by the palace are old-ass rocks so tread is probably important. And what if it rains?”
“I don’t think it’s supposed to rain,” Maxwell replies, but she’s already tossed the boots in his direction.
“Okay, so if I bring the boots, I need boot socks,” Riley tugs open a dresser drawer, rifling through it. “Except I’m pretty sure I only have red boot socks, and that’s going to clash with all my outfits, so maybe I should just stick with a bootie? Except then the tread is an issue again.”
Maxwell laughs. “Riley, it’s two days.”
She whirls around, brandishing a boot sock. “Yeah, two days in the goddamn palace!”
He breaks his gaze from the ceiling to watch her as she makes another futile pass towards her closet, sitting up and leaning back on his hands. “You really want to keep pretending you’re going to finish this tonight?”
She sighs, dropping her things onto the floor. “It’s already too late to give up.”
“Few more hours won’t hurt.” He reaches over and closes the lid, then holds out his hand. “Come on, let’s go on a walk. You’re all strung out.”
She takes his hand, in spite of herself yet again. Everything about him, about this, is in spite of herself and her better judgment. But it’s midnight on the eve of what may be their last chance at anything, and she doesn’t care that much anymore.
It’s dark in the house, the sconces dimmed, and they walk through the second floor hallways like they have the entire place to themselves. Maxwell is still holding her hand, his other shoved into his pocket, watching the portraits on the walls as they pass.
“Is that you?” Riley asks, pointing at one of the frames. It’s a painting of a boy who couldn’t be more than eight years old, posed like the subject of a renaissance art piece and clearly none too pleased about it. He’s got the same soft brown hair and mischievous eyes as Maxwell, his face dusted with freckles and mouth pulled into a barely concealed pout.
“Oh my god,” Maxwell laughs. “Yeah. That’s… yeah.”
“You were cute.” Riley bumps her hip against his, grinning. He reaches up and rubs the back of his neck, looking at the painting sheepishly.
“My parents, they were really into the ‘nobles’ thing,” he says, “You know, ridiculous estates and portrait painting and etiquette classes, all that. I mean, I guess you have to be when you are a noble. I mostly let Bertrand handle that stuff now.”
Riley holds out her free hand and traces the curve of his painted face, the rough brush strokes in sweeping lines under her fingertips. She smiles.
“Bertrand would kill me if he knew I was letting you touch the paintings,” Maxwell says.
“Bertrand would kill you if he knew you were letting me touch you.”
“Touché.”
She steps back from the portrait, squeezing Maxwell’s hand gently. “Your parents, what were they like?”
He doesn’t say anything at first, and she worries she’s treaded into inadmissible territory. She turns to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, you don’t have to—“
“No, Riley,” he smiles, but it’s sad. “It’s fine.”
He looks up at the painting for a long moment, and she wonders how much of that baby-faced boy is still a part of him. He still has those faded freckles across his cheeks, that air of something…. more, like he’s privy to a thousand secrets one could never hope to know. She suddenly wishes he were as much of an open book as he likes to say he is.
“My parents were… well, I guess they’re pretty self-explanatory.”
“What do you mean?”
He’s still got his eyes on the painting, but his jaw is set. “You’ve been in the study.”
“Duh.”
He breaks for a moment, to shoot her a smile, but then he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “So, that’s my dad.”
“The study?”
“Yeah.” He frowns. “We didn’t change anything in there after he died. It just… felt weird. And there’s already all these rooms in this place, it’s not like we needed another one. So now it’s just there, filled with polo trophies and fencing equipment and all that ‘nobles’ shit.”
“And Drake,” she adds, a tentative step towards levity. Maxwell pulls her closer, letting go of her hand so he can slip his arm around her waist. He doesn’t have to say it, but she knows he’s grateful for the reprieve.
“And Drake. Unfortunately.” He looks at her and smiles. “You would’ve liked my mom.”
“Yeah?” Riley smiles back.
“Yeah. Well, I know she would’ve liked you, anyway.”
They make their way down the rest of the hall, passing more portraits and art pieces and the occasional odd sculpture, everything in brocade like something out of her high school history books. She runs her fingers across gilded wallpaper and marble shelves, still marveling at the fact that this, somehow, has become her life.
“What’s New York like?” Maxwell asks her. “I mean, I know what the tourist parts are like, thanks to Liam, but what’s your part like?”
“My part?” She tilts her head. “Uh, not that great, honestly. My part is a shitty studio in Queens with an elevator that doesn’t work, a roach problem, and a toilet that only flushes half the time. I don’t even have a bedframe, I just sleep with my mattress on the floor, and sometimes if I’m lucky, there isn’t a drunk guy peeing on my stoop when I come home from the late shift.”
“Sounds like a dream,” Maxwell says, and the funny thing is that she can’t quite tell if he’s joking or not.
“Can I quote you on that? My landlord keeps asking me to leave him a Yelp review.”
Maxwell looks puzzled. “I thought… you didn’t have nobility in America?”
Riley shoots him a bemused look. “We don’t.”
“But then, why would you…?”
It takes her a moment, but then she shoves his shoulder and laughs. “Oh my god, wait, are you talking about my landlord? That’s the guy who owns the place I rent. It’s just like, a name for rental property owners. God, you’re such a one-percenter.”
“Shut up,” He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “Things are different in Cordonia, okay?”
“I can’t believe you didn’t know what a landlord is. I can’t believe you thought landlords are literal lords of the land.”
Maxwell makes a face at her, and she doesn’t even remotely try to stifle her giggles. “Excuse you, the only ‘landlords’ I know are literal lords of the land, so it was a logical conclusion.”
Riley taps him on the nose before turning away dramatically, hand on her heart. “Deepest apologies, Lord Beaumont. I would never disrespect your status or your land.”
“Hilarious.” He crosses his arms, but he’s smiling.
“Please accept this token of my atonement,” she continues, lifting some imaginary skirts so as to further sashay down the hall, “Imported from the duchy of Newest York, one hundred — no — one thousand of our finest Manhattan pigeons.”
Riley dips down in a ridiculously low curtsey, stumbling forward a bit and catching herself with a laugh. “Perchance would you like to visit with one of our most prestigious landlords? He is so terribly fond of — Max!”
She shrieks as he comes up behind her, arms around her waist, pulling her close and spinning her. She can feel the breath of his laughter against her neck, his whispered, “Shhh, you’ll wake everyone up,” and the way his fingers linger on her when he sets her down.
Riley, flushed, brushes her hair out of her face and adjusts her shirt. “You’re the worst.”
“I accept your pigeons,” Maxwell says with mock formality. “And I would love to meet your landlord.”
“Oh, you really shouldn’t, the pigeons are fucking gross.”
“Okay, pass on the pigeons then.”
“My landlord is gross too.”
He sighs. “You’re not making a great case here.”
Riley smiles, and compelled with a sudden irresistible urge to touch him, reaches out and runs her fingers along his jawline. She almost expects to feel the brushstrokes there too, a perfect likeness of his childhood painting, all grown up and still off-limits.
“You could come visit, if you want,” she says softly. “The mattress is a twin, but we can make it work.”
He kisses her, and she closes her eyes and lets herself believe for a moment that they’re not here, not in this ridiculous world full of princes and balls and family portraits, but somewhere else, somewhere loud and brash and filled with the scent of street food and smoke and dreams yet to be realized.
But of course, they aren’t.
“Come on,” he says, his voice gentle against the sudden sharpness of the moment. “Let’s go finish packing.”
They walk back to the room hand-in-hand, and Maxwell helps her fold things and find things and then sits on the suitcase so she can shove everything in properly and zipper it away. The sky stops getting darker and starts getting lighter, and the laughter between them grows less practiced and more delirious as they finish up.
She smiles when she steps out of her bathroom, face washed and hair up, to find him tucked in against her pillow, finally stolen into sleep by his own exhaustion. It’s a rare occasion to find Maxwell so utterly still, and she stands there for a second watching him.
She’s known for quite some time that she’s fucked. This whole situation: the competition, the prince, the stupid stupid boys. She’s just fucked, no way around it.
But as she lingers in the doorway, memorizing the rise and fall of his chest, it occurs to her that she is now — for lack of a better term — royally fucked.
---
It’s as if she’s barely slept at all when she feels his hand on her shoulder. “Riley? Hey, time to get up.”
She burrows her face back towards her pillow, trying desperately to shut out the light filtering in through the curtains. Maxwell, however, refuses to be shut out.
“We’re leaving in an hour or so, if you want to get ready.” He sounds just as tired as she feels, and she realizes then that he’s most likely spent the entire night here, with her, probably shoved into the corner while she bundled herself in covers. The thought makes her sit up suddenly, blinking blearily into Maxwell’s face, only a few inches from hers.
“Oh,” he says. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she says back.
They look at each other for a moment, Riley squinting up at him as she adjusts to the rush of sunlight. Under the sudden scrutiny of his gaze, she pulls the blankets up around her, a flush spreading into her cheeks as she realizes what she must look like: hair a tangled mess, sleep marks across her face, oversized t-shirt hanging in a particularly unflattering way.
“What’s the ‘Knicks’?” Maxwell asks.
“Hmm?” She quirks an eyebrow in confusion, and he nods at her shirt. She looks down. “Oh. Basketball team. They’re the… uh, the professional team for New York.”
“Do you like them?”
“I like their shirts.”
He laughs, turning away from her to slip down onto the floor. “Sometime, will you teach me what basketball is?”
“You guys don’t have basketball in Cordonia?” Riley lets the blankets fall back around her and pushes herself out of the bed with the intent to follow him, but the hardwood is like ice against her feet. She lingers near the familiar warmth of the covers while she watches him go.
“We don’t have a lot of stuff in Cordonia,” he answers. “Basketball, Disneyland, those breakfast things you like.”
“Pop-tarts?” Riley grins, crossing her arms. “Yeah, real bummer on that one.”
“Prom, Costco, monster trucks,” Maxwell continues, “And we’ve barely even got you for much longer, so.”
The words hit her harder than expected, and the smile drops from her face just as her arms fall to her sides. The chill of the floor spreads up from her feet, twisting its way through her body and settling in her heart.
Maxwell heads towards her suitcase. He lifts it down off the table, yanks the handle up until it clicks. “Come on, you gotta get dressed. I’ll take your bag out to the car.”
She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “Will you come back?”
He turns his head, eyes ghosting over her face as she bites harder into her lip.
“Riley…” he says, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, totally.” She crosses her arms over her chest, pulling her shoulders up in what she hopes looks like a nonchalant shrug. “Just, big day, you know.”
“Understatement.” He smiles at her, and the sinking feeling subsides.
“What should I wear?” she asks, in a feeble attempt to keep him in the room a few moments longer.
“Definitely just that. The king and queen will be so impressed.”
“Shut up.” She sticks her tongue out, reaching back to pull the comforter up from the bed and around her shoulders before crossing toward the closet.
“No I’m serious, the press will not be able to stop talking about it. Bertrand will love that.”
She whacks him with the comforter as she passes. “You know what else Bertrand will love?”
“What?”
“You spending the night in my room.”
He laughs. “Okay, okay, point taken.” He turns to grab her suitcase, but not fast enough to keep her from noticing the blush rising in his cheeks. She laughs too, pulling open her closet door.
“Go get dressed,” he calls after her, “I’m actually taking your stuff out this time.”
“As you wish, Lord Beaumont.” She twirls around to drop in a curtsey, blowing him a kiss as he makes a face at her and heads out the door.
---
Riley wakes up to Maxwell once more, her face smashed in against his shoulder in the back of the car. She lifts her head, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, only to meet Bertrand’s disapproving ones.
“You have lines on your face,” he says disdainfully. “You look wretched.”
Riley sits up, rolling her neck and wincing. “Thanks, B. Are we at the airport?”
“Yeah,” Maxwell answers, seemingly unfazed by her using his arm for a pillow. She hopes she didn’t drool. “There’s coronation traffic, but that’s to be expected. We’ll be at the plane in five.”
Riley looks out the window, expecting to see the familiar bustle of brake lights and taxicabs that punctuate all her visits to JFK. However, all she finds is a great wide sea of black tarmac and planes.
She turns to Maxwell and Bertrand. “Wait, where are we?”
“The airport.”
“No, I — yeah, I know that. But where are the people?”
Maxwell looks confused. “…On the planes?”
“Don’t we, y’know, have to go through security and stuff? Or is that not a thing in Cordonia? Or like, don’t I need to show someone my passport and check my bag?” She nods her head in the direction of the trunk. “That thing is not gonna fit in an overhead compartment, I can already promise you that.”
The car slows to a stop and Maxwell laughs. “What? Riley, we’re broke, but we aren’t fly commercial broke.”
Riley says “Oh,” and then someone in a full suit and black sunglasses is opening her car door and saying, “Lady Riley, I’ll be taking your bags,” and she says “Oh,” and Maxwell says, “Thanks, they’re in the trunk.”
Riley whips her head around to face him, eyes wide. Maxwell shrugs. “Liam has a plane.”
Her eyes go even wider, and she pauses to make sure Bertrand is mostly out of earshot before whispering, “You didn’t think to tell me we’d be in an enclosed space with Liam for an extended period of time?”
He smiles sheepishly. “Well, the thought crossed my mind, but I was worried you’d try to cut your losses and run before we got here. And besides, he told me he wanted some time with you. To talk about something.”
Riley shoots him a pointed look before turning to slide out of the car. Talk to her about something! Great. What a mystery as to what it could possibly be.
The man in the suit, most likely a member of Liam’s security team, is already unloading their things from the trunk. She squints into the sunlight, eyes settling on the enormous white jet just a few hundred feet from their stop, its wings ringed with gold and an egregiously large Cordonian seal plastered along the side.
“Discreet,” Riley mutters, sighing as she heads off towards the staircase lowered down from the plane’s back entrance. She’s never boarded a plane like this before, not without hours of waiting and TSA screenings and watching as every other boarding group took their place ahead of her in line. The tiny staircase seems too easy, and the staff waiting at the bottom are too quick to offer her their arms as she climbs up into the ridiculous fixture of luxury.
As she makes her way inside, wandering slowly towards the aisle, she gawks at the interior: a scaled down recreation of the palace sitting areas, complete with ornate lamps and crystal stemware and what looks to be an entire grand piano off in the corner. Riley feels her stomach clench at the sight of it all, a reminder of how desperately she doesn’t belong in this world of opulence and glamour.
There’s a rustle of a curtain and footsteps behind her, and she turns, expecting to see Maxwell on his way in. She’s already whispering, “Max, I think I should—” before her eyes settle on the person who’s actually in front of her and she stops mid-sentence. “Oh, fuck.”
Drake looks her over and frowns.
“What are you doing here?!” she hisses, shoving him in the shoulder. “And why are you sneaking up on me?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he answers, leveled. “Pretty sure your boyfriend is still back at the car.”
Riley shakes her head, letting out an agonized sigh. “I am truly not in the mood for this, Drake.”
“Aldridge, you going soft? Can’t handle the banter anymore?”
“On Liam’s goddamn plane? Yeah, maybe it’s not the ideal choice of venue.” She crosses her arms, but her defense wavers. “Drake… you didn’t… I mean, you didn’t say anything, did you?”
He rolls his eyes. “Relax, I’m not that much of an asshole. Liam’s on a conference call in the diplomat suite anyway.”
“Diplomat suite?”
“It’s a big fucking plane.”
Riley lets her hands fall back to her sides, glancing around the room once more, eyes following the rows of soft leather seats.
“Well, thanks, I guess.”
He shrugs, looking everywhere but at her. “I know you’ll talk to him. You don’t need me to do it for you.”
She lets out a sigh. “Maxwell said he invited me on the plane so we could talk, so if you’re awaiting my downfall, it might come sooner than you think.”
“I’m not —” Drake looks taken aback, “Riley, come on, you know that’s not how I feel.”
She starts to say something in reply, but the sounds of footsteps coming up the staircase echo loudly into the cabin. Drake turns, and Riley feels her nervous tension ease. Maxwell is finally here, he’ll know how to handle Drake and she can just —
“Riley,” an all too familiar voice calls, “Is that you harping on and on in there?”
Riley grabs Drake’s arm, face twisted in horror, and mouths, Olivia? He nods, looking slightly pained, and then there she is at the landing — mouth twisted in distaste, red hair spilling out of a white fur hat, sheathed in some sort of emerald green evening coat that could probably cover Riley’s apartment rent for the next ten years.
Her mouth curls up into a smile when she sees them. “Oh lovely, I was right.”
She steps into the room, her heels clicking against the hardwood, and drapes her arm across Drake’s shoulder, leaning against him as she surveys Riley. “You do know we’re going to a coronation ball, right?”
“Wonderful to see you too, Olivia,” Riley replies with a grimace.
Olivia smiles again, straightening up and patting Drake dismissively on the back. “Hey Drake, will you be a dear and roll out the bar cart? I have a feeling we’re going to need some drinks.”
Drake rolls his eyes so hard it almost looks painful. “Sure Olivia, I will happily roll out the bar cart. For myself.”
As he turns and pushes past her, she frowns, watching him walk away with a hand on her hip. When he disappears through the cabin door, she looks back at Riley. “Is he always so pleasant?”
“Pretty much, yeah. You’d think you two would get along.”
Olivia arches an eyebrow. “Cute.”
She hears someone else coming up the stairs and prays it’s Maxwell this time. When she sees him step inside, she releases an audible sigh.
“Hey Riley, did Bertrand already come up here? I think he — oh.” His eyes fall on Olivia, who flutters her fingers in a wave. “Olivia?”
“And Drake.” Riley smiles through gritted teeth. “Isn’t it wonderful? Gang’s all here.”
Maxwell blinks. “Uh. Cool?”
Drake emerges from the door then, glass in hand, and stops short when he sees Maxwell. “Hey Max! Long time no see. Great talking with you in the study last night.”
Riley glares with the ferocity of a thousand suns. Maxwell blinks again. Olivia looks between all three of them and rolls her eyes. “You guys are so fucking weird.”
She turns toward the closest seat and settles in, draping her legs across the length of it so the red bottoms of her high heels are on full display. She pulls an eye mask out of her purse, tugging it over her head. “I’m going to take a Xanax and listen to Ryan’s Roses. Do not even think about speaking to me.”
“Trust me,” Riley says under her breath, “It was the least of our concerns.”
part two.
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