#sorta covert but also not really at all

[yggdrasilhypno]

There’s a few words that I just can’t get over any time I hear them. Words that evoke every positive emotion that hypnosis brings. They’re usually just buzzwords you hear in a trance, but that doesn’t make them any less powerful. Hell, if anything, hearing them so much makes them even stronger. It’s the beauty of going deep so very much.

Let’s talk about the word melt. It’s not a complex word, and that’s the beauty of it. It rolls right off the tongue, just so easy to say and watch as someone’s eyes flutter in front of you as they melt in your presence. I don’t even really need to say it again for it to feel the same way. I can just imply how your mind seems to break down slowly and surely under each one of my words as it warms and drips and drops like ice cream in the summer. I could simply indulge you as your brain sluggishly tries to keep up and fight off that sleepy and ditzy feeling of dreamlike desire before it inevitably softens into a beautiful little pile of mush for me to mold as I see fit. Or, if I wanted to keep everything easy for you to understand, I could just tell you to melt for me.

Of course, melt isn’t the only word I love using. I foreshadowed them a bit earlier, but the next two words are a nice package deal: drip and drop. They go along so very well with melting, dripping and dropping away into a melty mess for me. It’s like every thought drips out of your silly little head the more you listen, and in turn you keep dropping deeper into this trap I’ve laid just for you. It’s so easy to drip and drop your melty brain away when you drop deeper into this wonderland your mind desires more than anything. Each second you spend dropping, it’s more time you spent dripping each thought away. Each thought you drip, the easier it is to drop and melt. It’s the perfect loop you find yourself in.

But, there’s just one more word I want to discuss, and it’s the easiest one of all. Any guesses, my melty dummy? Or is it too hard to think when you keep dripping and dropping each guess before your lips can even utter the word? It’s perfectly alright if your brain can’t quite think right now, after all it’s easier when you just listen instead of thinking. I’ll give you a hint, I’ve discussed this easy word before. Don’t worry if your dumb brain can’t quite come up with the words, I know it’s so hard to say anything when you’ve been melted into mush for me to mold. It’s just easier to drip and drop away, right? So very much easier to just let my words melt your brain into a state of pure brainlessness to where you can’t think a single thought. You’re just too dumb for it now. But, don’t fear. It’ll be so much easier to just drip, drop, and melt now.

[skylardoesthings]

PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

[radiosummons]

I think Bo-Katan's possible frustration with the Armorer is actually super fucking funny.

Because the Armorer has obviously been spouting "This is the Way" at literally every member of the Covert in response to the, no doubt, endless amount of issues (personal or otherwise) they've brought to her over the years.

And all she's had to really say for the most part is "This is the Way" and everyone will just nod their heads and go "Of course! This is the Way!" Like it's the most obvious and brilliant thing that anyone could have possibly said.

(Note: Obviously, I'm simplifying things here for comedy's sake. I know the Armorer takes her role seriously and will do her best to give genuine advice. But also--she and everyone else in the Covert do be saying "This is the Way" a LOT)

Meanwhile, you got someone like Bo-Katan who has no experience with being raised by a part of the Children of the Watch and is clearly seeking out some actual advice for the whole, you know, revelation of the Mythosaur not actually being extinct and her being adopted into the Covert all because she saved Din's dumb fucking ass from drowning.

So when the Armorer responds with "This is the Way" after Bo-Katan insists she didn't have a "mystical vision" in the middle of her accidental baptism (thanks, Din), I can't help but laugh at Bo-Katan's silent confusion/frustration.

I really can't blame her, though. Bo-Katan doesn't get shit about what's going down, but she knows for a fact that the Armorer is the one in charge here. So she's obviously hoping that out of anyone, the Armorer will findly be the one to give her some actual goddamn answers.

And the Armorer has the fucking gall to just be like "This is the Way" while Bo-Katan's timidly pouring out her soul about what is essentially a religious/reality shifting/existential experience. She saw a fucking Mythosaur, my guy.

And it's just so fucking funny because it's not like the Armorer is invalidating her claim, either. Yeah, she does initially write it off as a vision, but when Bo-Katan insists that she really did fucking see a fucking Mythosaur the Armorer acknowledges what she experienced.

Granted, she did it in the most Mandalorian way possible by reciting the Covert's Creed. But she doesn't argue with Bo-Katan about what she saw. The Armorer full on acknowleges that whatever Bo-Katan saw was real (or at least, real to her) and applies value to that experience by invoking the Creed.

It's borderline Jedi Master levels of cryptic trolling and I, for one, am so fucking down for it. Especially if Bo-Katan gets to be the one on the receiving end of it all.

I'm just picturing Bo-Katan after a very long day--completely out of the few remaining shits she had left lying around--lowkey losing her cool when yet another Covert member responds to her small but very reasonable question with, once again, "This is the Way" in lieu of an answer and she just sorta snaps like:

Bo-Katan: "Yes, yes, 'This is the Way.' I fucking get it. Now, can someone give me a real fucking answer for ONCE!?"

Rest of the Covert: *tilts their heads in confusion*

[fluffy-clusterb-paradise]

hey I don't know if this is allowed on here but I think I may possibly have covert NPD but I don't know if I'm trying to make myself seem 'different' or if I WANT something to be wrong with me.

I took a test that seemed to be pretty reliable and credible and I got 'very high possibility' but I'm still not sure. I'm also under 18 so I can't really get officially diagnosed and it would be beyond embarrassing if it turned out I was wrong so I don't want to reach out to anybody just to save myself of the embarrassment and humiliation.

I sorta just wanted to vent/rant and if you have any advice it'd be helpful..^^ thanks

First off. All kinds of cluster B are allowed on this blog. I do not cherrypick. You are allowed here.

It's okay that you're a minor, and if you make a mistake. Especially when it comes to self diagnosis, I know that well. But if you think you have it, you have it. You can't accidentally fake a disorder, I promise. The healthcare system is horrible anyway with people like us, so it's okay to never get an official diagnosis. Just do what you feel is important and right.

[your-old-sins-tournament]

OC NAVAL WARFARE

/ -- Romantic

*-- Unlabelled/Other

+ -- QPR

& -- Familial

Solshuu (Solaria Aoi/Shu Kurenai)

hello its me and my blorbo from my home. my media. so basically if you like childhood friends to lovers you'll like these two!! um so a lot happens but its like. in the beginning everyone knows they love each other except the two of them. like they live together sorta? i mean theyre kids and the canon characters parents are away most of the time so. company! and then they cook together and at night they cuddle asleep. and its beyblade and they do the battles. later in the show bad things happen which are major spoilers and one of them hurts the other (twice) but its ok she forgives him and then late the next season they get together in a spur of the moment confession and everyone who finds out is like "fucking FINALLY" and yes. the next season the canon charactger deos not show up but my character falls asleep on a call with him <3 and theres a ton more. also they keep their relationship mostly a secret from the public cause. legendary bladers theyre famous n shit and all that stuff. and. augh. im so normal over my favorite character and also. yes there is more there r like 3+ more seasons but i dont have time for all of that ok goobye

Elitheocecily (Elijah Scott * Theodore Churchill * Cecily Churchill)

OK SO. theodore is an angel from heaven disguising himself as a human on earth. cecily knows this, elijah does not. theodore met cecily shortly after coming down to earth and fell head over heels in love with her like its insane how much this man loves his wife. shes literally the only reason he stays on earth. they are both best friends with elijah, whos a priest and is REEEAAAALLLYY fucking repressed and so deep in the closet its ridiculous. hes convinced himself that its actually really normal heterosexual friendship stuff to be completely infatuated with your boy best friend. he thinks hes being really covert but cecily and theodore both are aware of it. cecily thinks its really funny and theodore just finds it really endearing :) if youve ever seen singin in the rain they basically have lie the same dynamic as don kathy and cosmo its great i love them

[twothpaste]

So 👏 pls share your thoughts on Paula and any has you have for her (especially with her family. I’m all for that angst. Especially with how you portrayed her parents)

I love Paula to bits and pieces. After all I've done to develop her, she's probably become my favorite EarthBound party member. Which feels weird to say, 'cause most of the stuff I associate with Paula I made up from almost scratch. The game only provides a handful of tiny character details to extrapolate from, and boy do I strive to get maximum mileage outta them. But reluctant as I am to warp canon characters into OCs, I do reckon that's kinda the point with EarthBound. Itoi wanted to keep the party members vague enough that players could picture their real friends in their places, or dream up their own versions of 'em based on impressions alone. So, alright, Shigesato, sir. I've got yer small town damsel in distress right here.

My Paula's the literary nerd to Jeff's science nerd. Rockin' local accolades and the second highest IQ stat in the party, only makes sense she'd be good in school. Havin' her be clever and bookish is a fun contrast to Ness too, who I imagine is a lovably ditzy C-student. Made her an American literature enthusiast, since EarthBound's all about those anachronistic americana vibes. Made her obsessed with chess, since playing Paula at her best involves a lot of strategic micromanagement on the player's part. Her ruthless glass cannon gameplay, utilizing her unique psychic skills, implies a great confidence in her own talents - but also a secret brittle side. She's delightfully witty and self-assured on the surface, desperately insecure underneath. Anxious to admit how badly she needs supportive friends to help prop her up, 'til she comes to love and trust Ness n' the gang.

It hit me like a truck, right about here, when I realized how easily all of this could stem from her growing up with an overbearing mother.

I initially didn't get much of a read on Mrs. Jones in the game dialogue itself - aside from her bein' kinda rude to Ness once or twice. I've seen several fics & fanart intepretations of Paula having a troubled relationship with her folks (this fic's one of my very favorites!). Love how this kinda thing really gets to the heart of EarthBound's gloomier themes - kids uncovering dark undersides to things that're seemingly benign, and often close to home. I imagine Paula's mom as the kinda parent who's awfully affectionate and supportive at first glance - and genuinely thinks she's doing everything right! But she's actually deeply possessive, in a covert sorta way. She hinges her own self-worth on her daughter's reputation, lives vicariously through Paula's success, needs to prove her merit by bragging about her perfect little angel's straight A's. Hopes to compensate for her own failures and broken dreams (read: law school) by ensuring Paula has a prosperous future (read: rich lawyer) in her stead. Doesn't help that Mrs. Jones is just as relentless as her daughter, and refuses to admit fault for years and years.

Kid Paula, an only child, used to be real close with her mom. Wanted to be just like her, wished for nothing more than to impress her. Only to grow up and realize she's unwittingly inherited all her baggage. She gives herself no leeway for failure, feels as if she's gotta do everything on her own, craves praise but can hardly stomach it. Even the snarky banter I love to cram her dialogue with probably comes from her mother. Paula wears her intellect as a badge of honor 'cause it's one of the few things that earned her mom's favor. Pursues success 'cause she doesn't know any alternative. Holds herself to impossible standards, 'cause she associates mediocrity with unbearable shame.

But like. Like!!! The best thing about Paula isn't that she's smart or talented or an ultra-powerful psychic!! It's that she's a selfless person with a great big heart!! She's the one who prays for everyone's safety, and in so doing defeats the fucking embodiment of all things evil! She's beloved by the preschoolers she cares for! I imagine she helped ease Ness n' Jeff n' Poo through so many homesick meltdowns!! Her sharp attention to detail and experience with kids makes her really adept at noticing others' feelings, and patiently tending to them. Given that her mom's a wreck, she probably gets it from her dad. I think it's funny if he's kind of a pathetic pushover wifeguy, lettin' Mrs. Jones walk all over him n' Paula both. But my headcanon's that starting a preschool was his idea. He's a kind, gentle soul, who does a lot more listening than judging. Someone Paula can go to - though she absolutely loathes to burden him. Ness n' pals help to bring out this softer side of her, and remind her what a great person she really is.

There's a long, grueling period through her teens and early 20's where my Paula notices herself looking and sounding more and more like her mom, and it drives her to tears on regular occasions. Growing more resentful and rebellious. Threatening cut-offs she'll never go through with, doin' things just to spite her. But ultimately, I do imagine there's a prospective future where she gets to reconcile with Mrs. Jones. Probably with dad's help. And lots of words of encouragement from little ol' Ness.

[crypticmutts]

Heard you wanted people to infodump to you about their system, well here I am >B)

Soo in our system we have multiple layers, layer one, two, three and four. There is a void in between layers where one alter just sorta chills for some reason?? We don't know why they're just there— most of us can't travel between layers but some of us can and it gets really confusing to tell where they originally came from lol. The layers are more like floating islands though, with layer one being a forest, layer two being some kund of field / hill, layer three is a little cottage town and layer four is a singular abandoned house

We have a bunch of subsystems too, mostly connected by sources, roles or time split. Most of our subsystems are groups but we have one alter in later subsystem in layer two, and they're a bit odd but nice to interact eith

Relationships in our system is a little complicated, we have some alters who hate eachother, some that love eachother and some that are close friends. Outside of system we have a person who is dating some of us but not all of us. She's dating who she likes (that likes her back) and the rest of us are either single or dating other people, it's quite nice

A lot of us tend to be non human or at least not fully human, our "key" host is a alien (invader zim fictive) and the other host is some sort of goat-ram creature—

We also have other disorders (NPD + autism and also BPD traits(?)) and all of us are affected differently by it. Especially NPD, some of us are more covert, others more overt, some are malignant, ect. Some of us have more "severe" symptoms of autism and some don't even seem to have it (they obviously do, but it's not noticeable to them or others). With BPD traits it affects most of us (splitting wise at least) but the ones that lack emotions or anything don't tend to really be affected by it

Okay that's about all I'm gonna info dump about because this is long and I can't remember anything else lmao

AHHH TYSM I LOVED READING THIS !!!!!!!!!

[stoookes]

So in response to one of your previous asks, where you said that there are many omegas around the world pretending to be alphas, which made me think about who could be those players from India. Like one thing I wanna ask is how expensive and accessible is the Antarax that Stu uses to hide his identity, and the facility he goes to in the first chapter, and whatever other pills and medicine he uses to prevent heats, hide his scent, and generally erase all parts of his omega identity. because I feel a service supposed to be this covert and secretive would be really costly. Essentially how rich and influential would you need to be to afford Antarax and all that? Stu comes from an affluent family, so he can access those facilities, but can other people, from not so strong financial backgrounds manage it? The purpose behind asking this is that tbh there are very few Indian cricketers who were sorta born into wealth? Most of them came from middle class families, and quite a few clawed their way up from poverty. Like MSD, Hardik, Jadeja, Shami-- all of them came from poor backgrounds. So I doubt they would have been able to afford Antarax like Stu.

Tbh the only player from the 2000s Indian team likely to afford Antarax and any similar facilities (if they are supposed to be very expensive), would be Sourav Ganguly, whose father ran a printing business and was one of the richest men in Kolkata. Oooh Sourav as omega actually might work out, bc Sourav is credited with starting a revolution in Indian cricket, and is remembered as an aggressive and very successful captain. He practically built the Indian team up from scratch after the 2000 match fixing scandal, and he handpicked a lot of the squad members, being responsible for giving debuts to and backing Yuvraj, Harbhajan, Sehwag and MSD, all of whom went on to become India greats. He also encouraged the players not to back down and urged them to be more aggressive, and himself had a pretty short fuse (his iconic shirt-off celebration in the balcony of Lords will remain in my mind forever). Imagine the utter power of the person who revolutionised Indian cricket coming out as an omega all along 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

So it is a very expensive thing - Antarax is one of a variation of omega suppressants, that just so happens to be the British developed one but I’m sure all countries have their own variation of the drug that does the same thing.

It’s expensive, exclusive and only really used by the rich and famous.

I have had this thought about the Indian players and I believe they’d use more black market methods because of the high price point. Antarax and the equivalent are one drug does all, a black market equivalent would probably entail a cocktail of pills to be taken; heat suppressants, testosterone boosters, scent hiders etc.

I might explore it with VK; I can see him looking at going down that route but getting freaked when he realises how many drugs he’d have to take, how hard it would be to hide via paperwork and the fact that there was no guarantee the cocktail will consistently work (plus fuck knows what taking all those drugs for a long period of time would do to a person)

[sals-soda]

i'm thinking. so i'm gonna make this everyone else's problem

radqueers. fun topic, right? haven't mentioned them in a while. i also haven't been posting much here in general because. well. i dunno. i sorta lose my spirit when looking through the proship tag too often. i think, oddly enough, it was my fixation for a while. but obviously it isn't now, because i can hardly tolerate the community enough to glance through the tag.

anyway. a rare moment nowadays, i'm look through the tag. and i always make sure to look in the tags of posts i read because, well. radqueers advertise. most of them are not covert. that's kinda their whole thing. radically open and accepting. to quite literally anyone. even people who claim to be "trans nazi" ! fun.

anyway. saw someone celebrating the fact that they made themselves a binder. cool ! honestly a rare moment of joy amongst the discourse and news stories about war. but i expand the tags, there's lots, not inherently a problem, annoys some people, but whatever. and there's this tiny tag. just a little one. about "trans id". and it really made me stop and think about all that shit again.

my feelings were and still are complex. not that i tolerate radqueers by any stretch of the imagination. even if it is just some poor schmuck that got pulled into the cult because of their radical acceptance. but.

i'll start by saying this. i really do think the "trans-autistic, cis-depressed" shit is actually deranged. i literally cannot think of anything that justifies that. obviously i'm not going to like. make fun of it ? because i mean. if you're using labels like that, there's... probably something going on. and i've read stories from recovering radqueers about how the community fuelled their delusions. so i'm not gonna say anything other than i do not understand it at all and i really don't think there's anything justifying it.

the obsession with "chrono" (chronological) age is also concerning and also rarely justifiable. although i know that some plurals adopt the trans-age label because, well. they aren't just one age, mentally. and they do have a "real" (chronological) age. but again what i see in the radqueer community is shit like minors claiming to be older and adults claiming to be younger and many of them are paraphiles and they're interacting unrestricted and it's just. not. good. i used to go through radqueer confession blogs, and like... i think i have something in my drafts that proves my point about just how deranged and unsafe the community is.

what else is there to say to this than What The Fuck?

Right ?

even if the whole community isn't like this. the fact that this is at all tolerated ...?

i'm just going to leave that. food for thought. if you needed anymore convincing.

as for trans-abled stuff. people really try to push that it's exactly like being transgender. and i used to be quite sympathetic actually, because. well. trans myself. and i could see how the "but you're mutilating yourself ?!" argument goes both ways. but i stop being sympathetic because. well. i have disabled friends. some born some not. you can become disabled at any time. all it takes is an accident, or an eating disorder, or an illness. or the natural degradation of your body. personally i find my sight is slowly degrading and i'm in no position to do anything to correct it at the moment. which obviously is not the worst situation i could be in. but still. i can't help but think these trans-abled people are inherently privileged. and that they probably don't have many disabled friends. but i'm not going to deny their inherent existence. dysphoria is complex. and if someone thinks they shouldn't have a right arm or that they should have a limp or something ? probably not the weirdest thing. just. i don't know. i would rather these people didn't try to speak over others. especially IF they are in the position to "choose" to be disabled. i don't know. i would like to hear other opinions on this as well.

[vianthegryphonart]

Since I’ve gotten just a little obsessed with The Amazing Digital Circus I thought I’d make an OC for it, especially since there’s a few AUs I really like and couldn’t help but think how I would design an OC to fit into them. So here’s my TADC!OC, Grif. 

More information about them under the cut.

-Grif is genderqueer and is fine with people using whatever pronouns they want for them. Some days Grif feels more like a particular gender than another, and might only use a single gender for himself during that time, though he’s never bothered if someone uses a different gender for him during those times. Currently, I’m using male pronouns for him, it’s what feels right, but that could change. 

-Grif appears to be a plush gryphon. Specifics about his appearance are as follows:

Light grey minky fabric for body, covert feathers, and outside of ears. 

Dark grey minky for his beak, his flight feathers, the inside of his ears, and the claws on his forefeet. 

Long dark grey faux fur for tail tip. 

Inside of his beak is red felt. 

Eyes are embroidered, but the iris/pupil can still move. Dark green iris, black pupil, white sclera.   

He has visible stitches down his midline, both on his back and his underside. His ears, legs and wings also have visible stitches where they attach to his body. 

When standing on all four feet, Grif is around the same height as Pomni. However, if he rears up on his hind legs, he’s almost as tall as Jax.

-He can sorta fly, but he’s not very good at it, and honestly finds it too much effort for little reward and would rather just walk places. He glides a lot more frequently, since sometimes it can be quicker to just jump off a ledge rather than try and find another way down.

-He's not a big fan of small talk, but does like listening to people ramble about things they like. He tends to stay silent, unless something he likes is being discussed then he can get very excited and animated, or he’s trying to cheer up a friend, which he isn’t always great at, but he tries his best.

-He likes singing and listening to music, fantasy novels/movies/shows, doodling, and just hanging out quietly with friends.

-Can be jumpy with unexpected loud noises, or sudden fast movements. Too many in a short period can cause anxiety attacks, where he’ll run to find somewhere quiet and dark to hide until he calms down, or failing that he’ll curl up and cover his head with his wings.

-Relationships with other cast members: 

Likes Gangle, Kinger and Ragatha. 

Neutral with Zooble, Pomni and Bubble. 

Dislikes Jax and Caine (Caine for being too loud and appearing at random, Jax for being a bully).

[alternamarian]

So, I watched it.

I didn't want to, but considering the posts that I've since reblogged about it, I decided that I would, in fellowship with those involved in these threads. I don't know if anyone will like what I write, but this is offered with gratitude and commiseration.

(This shouldn't be a surprise, but I discuss spoilers below.)

And of course, just because we may be similar-minded, doesn't mean we or our thoughts are interchangeable. We are persons, not assembly-line products.

For, though I too am Barbie-critical (is that a genre now?!!) I differ in at least two aspects. One, I don't think this movie could have been fun. It may have been less uninteresting, if it was written as actual froth instead of Making A Point But Not Really™, but I doubt I would describe even a hypothetical best-version as 'fun'.

It also doesn't drive me super mad.

I think I may have formed my overall view of the film during the prologue. As I listened to the voice-over and watched the events unfold, I thought, oh, this is n o t a story to be taken seriously. It didn't engage me as it may have been expected to.

The life in plastic isn't fantastic at all.

It may be because of the voice-over.

Without it, I may have just reiterated the 'wanting to have the cake and eat it' criticism others have made. But that voice-over, and the wry-commentary vibe, to me seems like an added measure of self-protection, an extra layer of plausible deniability for when the film goes particularly inconsistent and egregiously contradicts in-story rules.

I call it 'intentional dishonesty'.

Now certainly I have plenty of vehement feelings about dishonesty, while also opposing it in principle. But the way the film is presented, and the tokens used in the presenting of it is just ... really meh ...?

And yes I'm pretty sure I'm also just not the target audience for this; unlike, say, Sucker Punch. That's a movie which I found tedious, but which I'm also still angry about. I do think it's one of the few films in which I'm part of the target audience, as a woman with no real-life prospects but also with no lack of horror fantasy daydreams. (Do I ever think about dying? LOL) I also emphatically object to being Represented™ by that movie which is actually the filmmaker indulging his own fantasy

But with Barbie, even with all the power-conquest undertones and mid-tones and overtones, and all the really harmful stereotypes that it shakes the pink pom-poms for, I just can't seem to feel all that much. Maybe if it left off the duplicitous serious-but-it's-a-joke-unless-maybe-sorta handwaving, then maybe I would have dealt with it less unseriously.

One scene in which I had something like a visceral response was when Weird Barbie starts talking about continuums, and I was like, ergh, here comes the sci-fi-ish babble. It's rather similar to how I feel when Christopher Nolan movies try to be Really Science-y™. (Weird Barbie, by the way, is Kate McKinnon making faces and doing poses. That, according to this Hollywood studio-funded capitalist film, is what makes the character 'weird'.)

I also may have frowned a bit when Allan started punching Kens. Like is that how he proves he's not so disposable? By tHroWinG HAnDs, by going all macho action-figure on other characters? But then his efforts don't mean much in the overall story, so again, what's the point?

The one scene that almost caused me pain was when Ken sings to Barbie. Yes, according to the film he's singing at Barbie. But he is indeed trying to establish an emotional connection, which is exploited as a tactical advantage in the not-so-covert attack on the Kenarchy. But he's Ken, and he's finally getting his comeuppance, so take that, Ken!!!1!!1!!!!1! Take that, all men!!!1!!1!!!!1! Take that, evil patriarchyyy!!!1!!1!!!!1! Anyway this is just a campy movie based on toys, with no subtext at all to be read and analyzed, and certainly not by an ugly non-Western woman who sYmpAtHiZes sOOO veRY eAsiLY, amirite?

If I'm supposed to feel sorry for the Kens, as I'm supposed to relate to the Barbies and the human women — well, I do not.

I think I responded more emotionally to the video commenter dudes whose watch-along I watched along with. They were so miNdbLoWN™ by the movie, with one of them comparing the visuals to a Wes Anderson film (which I also don't vibe with). Yeah I may have cringed quite a bit.

And now perhaps I should end this with the ending of the film.

The preference for Ambiguous Endings™ is quite on display here: as the film moves towards a chronological close, a certain character mentions something about Barbie (the doll) not having an ending. Then, later, in the Real World™, she goes into a building, where apparently she has an appointment. Barbie the doll then announces excitedly that she's going to see her gynecologist, before the movie abruptly cuts.

If I haven't made this clear yet, let me reiterate: I know the movie is meant to be a silly popcorn flick. I know that the ending is just as part of the overall not-seriousness as the prologue.

...

...

... unless ...

Barbie's story is ultimately about

[miekasa]

Things the aot characters would match with u ?

Eren

Sneakers. It makes him somewhat giddy when you guys wear them at the same time, particularly if it was unplanned. 

He just thinks they look nice, and it’s something that you guys can match with that doesn’t look completely obvious or cringe. You can wear them at the same time or on your own, but for Eren it’s really just knowing that you’re wearing something he bought you.

Not matching matching per se, but one of my favorite things to think about is Eren having his key necklace, and buying you one with a lock on it. Again, matching but not over the top.

Jean

Maybe simple jewelry? Like plain, gold or silver bracelets/rings—nothing too much, but you guys still know it’s there. Watches might be a bigger splurge, but he’s willing to do it, especially if they’re nice and classy.

Once he knows you’re okay with jewelry, you’ve gotta be careful with him. He’ll ice you out if you don’t stop him. He has a sorta refined taste where you’ll get something, and think “Hey, this is really nice,” and then boom, the price tag could pay for your courses for a semester. 

Other little things like matching/coordinating phone cases, you guys each having mugs from the same place, even little charms on your keychains that match together.

Water bottles. This was more so him buying you one (and yes, it was an overpriced Hydroflask) to make sure you’re drinking enough water. If you don’t think he’ll force feed it to you if he notices that your bottle is heavy, then you thought wrong.

Levi

Lots of the things are pretty practical, and are the result of Levi buying it for you because he thought you needed it, or needed a better version of it; so, in a way, it’s not intended to match, but because he buys what he already has and knows works, you end up with a copy, so inadvertent matching 😌

For example, he’ll buy you mittens or gloves if you don’t have any, or if he thinks the ones you have are shit and need better insulation. They happen to be the same ones he has because he knows those work, so now you’re matching. Same goes for things like lunch boxes, water bottles, even the towels in your apartment.

Plants. Again, he probably intervened saying you need some source of fresh air in your house, or something smart like that. If you don’t have a green thumb, don’t worry because he’s practically taking care of it for you. Occasionally he’ll note how your plant is doing in comparison to his and it’s pretty cute to hear his little plant parent rambles while he’s watering them.

Matching aprons. It’s cute, don’t let him tell you otherwise; and if he does, you know he’s fronting, because he always wears his when he’s cooking, anyway.

Connie

Tattoos if you’re down for it. It can be as simple or stupid or extravagant as you want, you honestly have full control over the design even tho it’s going on his body please. He doesn’t care—he trusts you, and he wants to match with you, so whatever you want, wherever you want it!

Sneakers for him too, but I think he’d go as far as to have matching/coordinating outfits with you. Particularly sweats and crew necks and hoodies, and if you guys are traveling together, then you’re more than likely matching at the airport.

He probably put some stupid sticker or decal on your car that you’re stuck with now. Good luck. He put the same shit on his so at least you can look dumb together.

Armin

Stickers, whether it be on your laptop or phone case or water bottle or even just in your room; he’s got one and you’ve got one.

Stuffed animals. He has a lot that he just buys for you, but you guys go on a Build-a-Bear date and make bears of each other at some point, and it’s kinda cute. He keeps his on a shelf close to his bed so it’s safe and sound.

Stationary, like pencil cases and pens and such. They don’t have to be fancy with your initials engraved at the top, but you guys buy them in sets of 2 so you have the same stuff, and get cases to store everything that match, too.

Porco

Something cute that you put in his car that he doesn’t have the heart to remove, no matter how much he bitches about it. Like those little sticky rubber ducks with the glasses that go on your dash.

Gym bags. Yes, he’s a gym bro. No, he doesn’t care if you’re not. Allegedly they were “two for one” at the Adidas outlet, so now you’ve got one. It can double as a duffle bag if you’re not getting any practical gym use of it. 

You could probably get him to wear matching rings as long as they’re not too obvious; just a simple gold band is really the furthest he’ll go (he never takes it off, but don’t point it out or he’ll chuck it at you).

Mikasa

Some kind of accessory—bracelets, hats, necklaces, scarves. She’s into that kinda stuff, just don’t make a big deal of it when you’re in public or she’ll get embarrassed please.

Pins. You’ve got one on your jacket and she’s got one on her book bag or something. Again, they don’t have to be identical; you can get two different Pokémon, or references to a show you both like.

Lipstick. You don’t have to both wear it at the same time, but it’s still something sweet to have.

Sasha

Charm bracelets! The charms themselves don’t all have to be identical (tho at least one of them would be), but just the fact that you guys both have them and are collecting charms at a similar rate is cute.

Definitely matching cups or mugs or something of the like. Kitchen towels with the same pattern or each other’s initials on them. Matching shot glasses, too, obviously. 

Your home/lock screens match, too. Pictures of each other from the same day or of the same scenery or something. She always lets you know when she’s gonna change hers so you can change yours too.

Annie

Hoodies. They can be solid colored, or two if the same ones just in different colors. Hoodies are kind of her go-to look, and nothing that draw too much attention anyways; so she doesn’t mind having the same one as you.

Backpacks. Again, they don’t have to be exactly the same and can be relatively simple in design; and is something most people have anyway, so it’s not outlandish. She seems like a Kanken kinda girl, so you both can have one in different colors.

Pieck

Jewelry. Strikes me as the type to be okay with getting each other’s initials on necklaces or earrings or something, but it could also be more covert like having each other’s birthstones on a pendant.

Speaking of stones, you’re getting crystals whether you like it or not. They will be on your nightstand, they will be in your car, they will be in your jacket pocket, they might even be in your bra and don’t ask her how she got them there without you knowing. They’re in hers too if that makes you feel any better.

Hange

Jackets or sweaters. Wanna say matching cardigans in particular, and yeah, they’re pretty ugly but that’s the point! To bask ironically in the pointed ugliness of them all so much that it becomes cute to you.

Snow globes. Hange is obsessed with them, whenever you travel they collect one and sometimes even if they just pass a store at home and see two unique (translation: weird looking) ones, they’ll pick them up. So, congrats.

Socks with funky patterns on them. Beer bottles, weed plants, zodiac signs, dinosaurs—whatever Hange buys, they buy in packs of two so at least you’ll never run out of ankle socks.

[altocat]

Au where Sephiroth is a banora boi and Genesis is the "son" of Jenova and shinra's lapdog? (Basically roleswap)

Sephiroth grows up relaxed, unflinchingly devoted to his family, and kind of a covert flirty little shit. He's very, very chill and kind of a nerd. But has a healthy confidence that isn't dependent on how many enemies he can slay. Loves his mom. Will throw you in the dumpster if you say anything bad about her. His favorite hobbies include collecting bugs and plants with Angeal, taking naps in the apple trees, and pranking the locals.

Genesis just grows up ANGRY. Angry at everyone and everything. He has NO CHILL at all and honestly just wants to make everyone hurt. He hates people, hates being tested, and HATES the fact that he constantly has to get thrown around like a ragdoll in battle having to do Shinra's dirty work. That said, he's also still a bit on the arrogant side. He clings to attention and praise because it's really the only real sense of positive validation he associates with his hectic life. He's always starting fights and blowing things up.

Sephiroth enjoys teasing him, often making him lose his temper and low-key toying with him as a "game". All in good fun, of course. Genesis over time calms down a little after making some actual friends. He's always two seconds away from losing it, but finds that their attention sort of means more to him than that of Shinra or SOLDIER.

Eventually, he, Seph, and Angeal go out to Gold Saucer for a weekend as a little rebellion stint and kiiiinda sorta just...don't come back? To hell with Shinra. Gen is over that bullshit lmao.

[mscryptix]

Alright another chubby Eddie gremlin!!!

So glad to have you in our gremlin corner!!

Just picture Steve baking trays of cookies and stuff to bring to Hellfire meetings like a good significant other/den mother.

Making everyone a tray to share, but Eddie his own personal dozen or so for himself.

"Why does Eddie get his own tray of cookies and we have to share?" someone asks.

Steve rolls his eyes, "Because I baked love into those cookies, and I love him."

-Clem🍊

Thank you!!! Happy to join in the gremlin hivemind! 🥰🥰

Also this ask: yesss!!!! - so sweet! 💝💝 Also can so easily picture the immediate responding chorus of kids disgusted groaning n moaning, “ew” (Max) “yuuck” (Dustin) and sticking their fingers down their throat making gag/vomit noises (Mike), like geez mum, dad stoooop! You’re so embarrassing god! 😫😫😖😖

Steve would just plant an obnoxiously loud, wet smooch on Eddie’s cheek and retreat totally unphased, while Eddie just looks so rosy cheeked, plump, proud and smitten (secretly, Will, El, and Lucas all think caretaking is the height of romance, n think it’s sincerely, and unironically super sweet & romantic, BUT are totally silent coz NONE! of them are gonna cop to this for fear of risking the ensuing ribbing…)

But oh my god!! The timing of this ask coz I was totally daydreaming along these lines the other day!

Thinking along the lines of Steve and Eddie, feeling out their way when just getting into a relationship, particularly with regard to everyday, simple supportive acts - like, they’ve both been shown to disdain, and look down on each others chosen hobbies in-show - Steve looking down on nerds and associated activities, and Eddie looking down on ”a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets” come to mind..

But they each catch their meaner, reflexive judgments early on, a little shamefacedly, and they mutually & separately make a concentrated effort to really try for each other to at least give what the other likes a good n open-minded chance, it’s still the honeymoon phase and the need to know everything about the other person, and spend as much time together as possible is ~powerful~~

Now Eddie is not stepping foot on a basketball court anytime soon (boy is an absolute flailing unco and I will not change my mind on this, accident prone and could trip over his own feet when standing still) but he really does make an effort and tries to watch games when Steve invites him to….with completely mixed results

He’s good at getting the basics & the rules once it’s explained to him, his brains wired well for that already, but the finer points of the techniques & action & passage of play are lost on him, and he absolutely zoooones, like brain completely on another plane, during the games until Steve addresses him directly or reacts out-loud to something/anything (“oh my god!! EDDDIE!! Did you see that?!” “Honestly Steve..no I didn’t”). But strangely it’s fine, he’ll sit with Steve in (amazingly!shockingly!*) almost silence for the duration of a game, offering up smiles, cheers, back slaps & consolations appropriately, and mostly he’ll just adoringly watch Steve be excited about something he loves. Steve appreciates the effort so much, also likes so much the idea that these are basically covert dates (hashtag the 80s), takes the opportunity to make sure he buys Eddie a tonne of Stadium snacks like hot dogs and pretzels whatever, Steve’s paying for everything (date!!) and keeping Eddie very well fed and all up, they have a good time. Eddie’s with him, and Steve feels heard, seen & loved, and adjacent to that, it’s almost just meditative quality time for Eddie. Watching (“staring in the direction of” in Eddie’s case) basketball is *nice*, but eventually once their relationship is more established - it’s sorta solidified as a Steve-only thing, moreso, becomes a Steve & Lucas bonding activity, which is all good, and Eddie will join if Steve asks but it’s not something they *have* to do together all the time. It’s something Steve loves, and Eddie loves him. End of.

On the flip side - Steve is at a HUGE LOSS whenever a single thing about D&D is explained to him. No matter how many times. Mucks up the names, can’t keep score to save himself, it’s actually in one ear n out the other at record speed, his minds not even like a sieve, but more like a salad spinner turned to 11

It makes him a bit insecure, being unable to reciprocate, not having the type of mind to at least grasp the basics like Eddie was able to quite easily with basketball. Doubly so coz he can see the effort Eddie’s making to be very patient with him.

He gets put out & down on himself briefly, but Steve’s a) resilient, and b) a pragmatist. So whatever! he can’t/won’t join in, can’t find it in himself to follow the campaigns as they happen in front of him** but he has other things he can do to help and be a part of Eddie’s passions!

Hellfire Club consists of hungry, bottomless pits of growing teenage boys (and an Erica, and occasionally guest starring a Max and/or an El), and his likewise ~*growing*~, bottomless-pit-to-rule-all-bottomless-pits, adult boyfriend at the helm.

They have some sort of informal snack roster that no one seems to remember or follow, except for Dustin and Jeff (and also, loudly, unwelcomely, and un-contributing-ly, Max) so inevitably every meeting begins with a 10 minute squabble about who was supposed to &didn’t bring the required snacks, So great! an easy role to step in and fill! A quick calculation of his Family video wages vs the amount of pre-packaged stuff he’d be buying each week on the reg means homemade it is!

So Steve picks himself up, and throws himself into the kitchen!

Steve’s always been okay in a kitchen, and since he’s been interested in Eddie, (interested in taking care of him initially, and then REAALLY 😳 interested in taking care of him) he’s gotten to really enjoy baking, and gotten pretty confident with it.

Nowadays, baking is a stress relieving means, to an often sexy ends, for Steve. The act of baking itself, Steve finds, quiets his mind, so he’ll bake up a storm easily n happily without thinking twice on it. Also, Steve likes collecting and trying new recipes, being adventurous! But he’s still not yet really confident enough in his baking output to release new untested creations on an unsuspecting, and what he knows will be a definitely judgy, audience.

So sadly, I mean, “Eddie?” He’s gonna need a taste tester. 😔 It’s the logical and *only* solution. Only thing for it. 😉

Help me Eddie Munson, you’re my only hope.

Eddie easily acquiesces, with an affectionate eye roll, a kiss, and a knowing smirk.

So begins a new weekly project.

Monday night is dress rehearsal: Monday afternoon Steve will bake a tray of goods, or more, depending on how much would be needed to feed the whole of Hellfire (“Geez Stevie do you really need to make so much the first time round?” “Cmon Ed’s, It wouldn’t be a true trial if I altered the recipe in any way” [he says, despite having already doubled it] “okay darlin, whatever you say”) Eddie’ll saunter in “honey I’m home”-ing from work, come up and hug Steve from behind, soft belly hitting Steve’s back first and squishing up warmly against him, surrounding him, and saying in a deliciously deep voiced whisper “Whatcha got for me tonight sweetheart?” It’s a wonder Steve’s even able to remember the names of whatever goods he’s just baked sometimes

There’s a bit of pretence each time - Steve asking Eddie’s honest opinion as he feeds him each serve by hand:

“I mean maybe the salts a bit much? What do you think Eddie?”

Eddie somewhat breathlessly replying, playing a true critic, like “Hmm maybe babe. Didn’t notice on that last one though. Better try another to really make sure. I’ll pay extra attention this time” no bite is truly enough to say for certain that the recipe absolutely needs no tweaking.

And Eddie will hold Steve to his initial word and insist on eating the whole thing

“God Baby…you sure you can take anymore? You’re looking pretty full, say the word and we can call it a night”

Eddie’s shirts ridden up and Steve’s non-feeding hand is delicately circling Eddie’s massive taut, pale belly

But Eddie will refuse to even unbutton his straining pants, refuse to stop until the batch is truly finished,

“Now, now, Stevie, what are you even saying? It wouldn’t be a true trial if I didn’t try the whole. Unaltered recipe. Wouldn’t want to let all your hard work go to waste”

And Jesus the amount of busted jeans Eddie is going through weekly….Steve’s saving on pre-packaged goods but he definitely feels guilty in a practical way for Eddie’s sake, so that money instead goes towards keeping Eddie comfortably clothed

——————

*maybe not that “amazingly”. Boy is loud and chatty, but clearly has a rich imaginative life, most likely almost catatonic with the weight of his imagination through his whole schooling experience. Eddie WANTS to graduate, can’t seen him as a completely disruptive class presence, primarily a lost one. Quietness might not be totally foreign..initially Steve’s amazed I guess but not once he knows Eddie better

**just side note - the brain barrier Steve faces throws him here, coz when Eddie’s running ideas by him and explaining his DM storylines? He’s hanging on every word! Like “yeahyeah!! Sounds awesome babe! 🥰”then…When everyone’s actually playing & interacting? arguing and in-joking with each other? Might as well be another language, what is even going on…

— So also I’ve got more to this, sorry so much was mostly just table-dressing and setting establishment, but kinkier addition to follow 🙈

[cinnamonest]

Daily Life - Yandere Childe, Zhongli, Xiao

A continuation of the earlier post about Kaeya and Diluc

Content Warnings: n/s/f//w mentions/themes/stuff (but not like, explicit detail), fem reader, normal yandere stuff

==================

Childe's a busy guy. He wakes you up every morning, usually pretty sweetly. He'll nuzzle up against your face, mumbling a "good morning" into your ear. He's sweet, but, you gotta get up when he tells you to. And you have to be the one to make food, he likes watching you walk around.

If he's gone, he is again one to give darling a surprising amount of freedom. He has the highest quality of security available and all, so he allows some roaming. That and, in a sorta terrifying thought, he's one hundred percent confident that even if you got away, he could find you, so he's not even too worried about escaping. He's so confident that you'll never truly escape him, which frankly is pretty intimidating for darling to realize. He'll get you things you like and stuff to do, stimulate your mind and all that, probably as time goes on will leave you chore lists and things you're required to do for him or else.

When he gets back, he's very tired usually, will expect you to make him food and be sweet and greet him at the door when he comes back, preferably on your knees. If you're not, he'll get irritated, especially if you're trying to hide. If you're just asleep or something, he might excuse it and find it cute. But he does a lot for you, you know, the least you can do is this one little thing. If he's had a particularly bad day, he'll be extra irritated, so it's wise to follow this command, and be ready to have all of his irritation taken out on you the moment he gets back. You're his favorite little stress ball to stuff and squeeze.

For days off, as I've said before he's one of the few that will willingly take you outside, and unlike Kaeya from the last routine post he's not in a bad mood about it either. He likes to show you off, likes walking in public holding hands or with his arm around you so that people can see, it gives him a sort of pride, and honestly he likes mimicking a "normal" relationship. But just know you're on a tight leash. Not literally of course... yet. He lays it out very clearly exactly how you are to behave when going outside, not speaking to others and not going out of his sight. Any attempts to make a scene, try to get a stranger to help etc will be dealt with fairly harshly. And don't think about pulling some covert, sneaky shit like trying to look at a stranger with the "help me" facial expression or trying to silently mouth something, slip a written message to a waitress etc -- he'll be watching you closely enough to pick up on any of that, and honestly that will set him off more than blatantly trying to make a scene. You will be immediately headed home to get an attitude adjustment since you can't behave.

Later on, he'll want you to accompany him to his work sometimes, on those days that whatever he has to do involved more sitting down than fighting - paperwork, important meetings, etc. He likes your presence, of course, you make the time pass more quickly. But really this is, more than anything, because he's an arrogant show-off. He'll give you something to fiddle with but will just sit you on his lap throughout the whole time, gently stroking your thigh or resting his head on your shoulder, making you wear embarrassingly revealing things and making sure everyone sees, be it the entire group in a wide meeting hall or some subordinate come to have a one-on-one talk, or even his superiors, thanking them for them letting him bring his pet to work. It even allows him to get in some good de-stressing during the middle of the day when no one else is around. Expect lots of bring-your-fucktoy-to-work days like that.

Of course, not every day is spent out, though. He also has days he'd rather just stay at home. These days are usually after a long period of difficult work and late nights, so he's exhausted. Expect lots of naps, just cuddles and an arm wrapped around your waist (with a solid iron grip, of course). May or may not progress to slow cuddlefucking, who knows (yes it always does). He gets all whiny and demanding because he's soooo tired, so he'll make you get on top after a few rounds.

-------

Honestly we all envy my Zhongli's darling already, but God he's the best to wake up to. He just softly kisses the side of your face, running his hands down your sides. He can't let you sleep in too much, it's bad for your health! You can probably beg for a few minutes extra. And God, is it the best to wake up to. He's already got someone (probably one of the other adepti, a person, who knows) to make you food, and it's never skimping out either, it's always tons of food and your favorite things, too. Within limits, of course, can't have you eating nothing but things that are bad for you. He's also one that will get you tons of things to do throughout the day, virtually anything you ask for, he'll pay for (well... someone will, but you'll think he did, at least). He actually might also give you a list of very simple tasks to do, just to give you some motivation, since even if you have a lot to do, having no tasks and only play can get depressing without the sense of accomplishment. But he's much more lenient on your completion of all of them.

He's always reluctant to leave and gives you a lot of headpats and kisses before finally heading out for  the day, always taking time to contemplate whether or not he can just take the day off. During the day you'll stay in the confinements of your cage, be that an abode or a building somewhere, making sure you stand zero chance of ever getting out. If you force his hand (read: multiple escape attempts), he'll reluctantly have to limit your roaming abilities, but once you're confined to a smaller cage and have some privileges taken away, he's certain you'll be on your best behavior to get out again, and maybe be a little more grateful and understanding in the future. Once he gets back, it's generally a very nice time, he likes to lead a quiet life and will want to hear all about your day, what you did, see the progress on all those little projects you've been working on for art or music or whatever hobby you've taken up to pass the time. If he's had a bad day, he'll probably tell you about it, but you know, put it in terms simple enough for you to understand, since you wouldn't normally get such complicated matters.

On very very rare occasions, not nearly as often as Childe, he might take you to on his day with him, probably not during normal workdays, but for some kind of special day -- a large meeting, or the opposite, a day where he has nothing to do but slow paperwork alone in an office. The sunlight is good for you, and he'll bring stuff for you to do too. To be honest, it's not as obvious nor as obnoxiously vocal about it as Childe, but he also does enjoy having your presence in front of others, letting them see you. The things you'll have to wear aren't nearly as obscenely lewd as Childe's either, but they're not entirely wholesome either.

He really likes having off days. On those days, he'll probably want to take you somewhere, generally will do whatever you want to do. He's incredibly knowledgeable on everything in the area, and would probably also really like going out somewhere secluded in nature, rather than in the city, like a nice view from the nearby mountains or the like, and just spend a day there. It's nice, and far away from prying eyes that can't recognize your face off the missing person posters or witness the obscene things that may or may not take place up there.

 Spending time home is always nice too, though, just quietly going about the day and doing whatever you want, although inevitably taking breaks for much-needed... displays of physical affection. And he tries so hard to be gentle, but he also has a lot of stress pent up that may just come out and result in being a bit rougher than usual, but he's always apologetic afterward, making sure you're alright. He's also pretty strict about the time you go to bed. Making sure you get enough sleep and all that.

-------

Xiao's poor, poor darling. You always wake up to him shaking you awake. He's impatient. Once he feels you've had enough sleep, he'll get you up like that. Don't try to get more sleep-in time, he's not very gracious on that, will simply huff and yank you up. Otherwise, the mornings can be... Sweet. It's not like he's trying to be so cold all the time; if you're well behaved he can be pretty loving, even if he doesn't quite know how to be gentle. He just has... Low tolerance.

Xiao is very quiet for the most part, and the mornings have a sort of silent peacefulness provided it's one of your days that you don't choose to be difficult. He likes to watch you go about the morning. It's a little creepy to be honest? He just sits there nearby and watches you move around, make food, brush your hair or teeth or whatever. He'll eat whatever you make him, even if it's not one of his extremely limited liked items. He might complain, though.

During the times he IS gone, well, it's extremely boring for poor darling. Early on, or if you've done something to warrant it (read: literally the slightest word of disagreement, a tone of voice he doesn't like, even a facial expression he deems defiant) you'll be bound to the bed, hand and foot. Nothing to do whatsoever but stare at the ceiling. It's your own fault, if you were good maybe it wouldn't be like this, he says. When you are good, and have a nice long-time record of being extremely pleasant and sweet to him - and I mean a LONG time - he might - might - finally let you be unbound aside from a long anklet chain connecting you to the bed. Not like you have much else to do, though. Maybe he'll get you books if you ask nicely and grovel at his feet. But that's it. He doesn't like the thought of giving you too much entertainment. If being alone is mind-numbingly boring, well, you'll enjoy time with him that much more. Eventually you'll reach a point where you're begging him not to leave, he hopes, even if he would never admit to that. So what he'll do is balance it, give you just enough to keep your whining down, but keep making sure you're miserable when alone. He only allows you "activities" (read: a book) on certain days of the week, or every other day, every third day, something like that. And you can only get a new book once a month or so. And it's whatever he finds, not just what you want, so he'll start dropping you with encyclopedias and textbooks and other dull things. You can't complain, after all he IS giving you something to do. If you're gonna complain, well, how would you like to have the reading privilege revoked entirely? And that shuts you up. So, really, poor darling's days are very very bleak, dull, and empty, when alone.

He doesn't really have a "end of the day." His "job" is more or less a 24/7 thing, he goes when he's needed and when he's not needed he'll be with you. Usually it's a semi normal schedule but it can lead to odd intervals - you may have times he's gone for a full day or so, and then times where he's there for a whole day, etc. Spending time together is quiet, but he's surprisingly fond of physical affection. He spends a lot of time just... alone with his thoughts. Spacing out and thinking, looking up at the sky, except, well, now it's him, his thoughts, and you. You'll spend it with him too, iron grip locked around your waist so you can't pull away from his lap. He's also one to need to get out the... frustrations of life through physical activity at night.

Days he's there, again, it's pretty quiet, he's not much one for extensive conversation, of course. If you talk, he'll listen, but don't expect him to say much back. He likes the sound of your voice, one of the only people he doesn't prefer silence to, so long as you're not whining about wanting to leave. He doesn't really have a lot of sitting-down type of work to do, so if he's spending a whole day time with you, it means he's specifically worked it out so that he's able to do so for that purpose. He'll probably prompt you to speak, it's super awkward really. An awkward comment about this or that that he clearly wants you to start talking about, and he'll talk back just a little bit, with his own brand of harsh pessimism -- but that's just the only way he really knows how to communicate, he's not actually trying to shut you down when he responds to everything negatively. It's the most bizarre bonding time, but bonding nonetheless. He also likes to watch you do tasks -- to make food, even if it's just for yourself, to clean and walk around doing your little tasks. He may or may not eventually discover a fondness for forcing you to walk around naked, poor darling.

I've mentioned before that his drive is reactive - it gets heavier when he's with you. So really, your day will be filled with little fun intervals of very spontaneous fucking. Like, he has no sense of mood or timing. It's completely random, very forceful, will just loop his hands under your arms and scoop you up and carry you over to bed at any random moment, interrupting your speech even. Or, sometimes the bed is too far, and just bending you over is easier. And then, he'll just carry on like nothing happened.

He's not one to rant and rave about his day by default, and especially not early on. In the later stages, though, once he's comfortable with you, you might find him slipping out a frustration here or there, a passing comment about something upsetting that happened, and if you pry at it, he'll end up talking, much more than usual. He kind of doesn't even realize he's starting to ramble a bit, and if he catches himself he'll stop and mutter something about it being unimportant anyway.

Bonus little hc: He asks you how your day was. Every day that he's not with you. It's a routine - he started doing it because from his limited knowledge of human relationships, it's the "normal," so he tries to emulate what he feels like is normal in a relationship. It's kind of funny, well, not for poor darling, it feels mocking. Like, how do you think my day was, Xiao? All tied up and left only to stare at the ceiling? If you get all sarcastic with him like that, though, he might see it as grounds for punishment, so, be snarky at your own risk.

[teecupangel]

You know what would be funny?

If Desmond didn’t get to Ravensthorpe by accident, he was invited there.

By who?

It would be easy for it to be Eivor but it would be funnier if it was Hytham.

So now Hytham has this sense of responsibility to support Desmond in this (covert) bake off.

He’s usually the one who gets Desmond the ingredients he sorta remembers (“It makes food red.” “A lot of things makes food red.” “But it doesn’t affect the taste!” “I don’t think that kind of thing exist?” “Well, I guess get me all the things that can make things red then?” “I… I’ll see what I can do…” - smashcut to Azar feeling things were going to get profitable very, very soon).

He helped Desmond get the lay in the land because Desmond, in his own words, believed his idea of what the land looks like isn’t correct… right now.

But the most important thing… he was Desmond’s taste tester. Or, as Desmond liked to call it, his guinea pig. Any experiment Desmond made, as long as it tastes edible and cooked, Hytham would more or less taste them to give Desmond his honest opinion. They never tasted bad since Desmond always tasted them before giving them to Hytham but ‘okay’ was a word that Desmond did not accept.

Not because it was bad to just be ‘okay’ but… Desmond surprisingly has a competitive side to him. It doesn’t appear all that much but baking?

Oh, yes, his competitive side shows up in that regard.

But he and Tarben are cordial with each other.

… like rivals respecting each other’s skills but doing everything they can to not lose.

Tarben’s style is to keep making the same bread over and over again, perfecting his skill to a frightening level.

Desmond’s style is to keep bombarding Ravensthorpe with every and any idea he had, making it a unique experience every single time.

What Desmond lacked in perfection, he makes up with the ‘novelty’ of his breads.

As Desmond says it “Tarben is a basic bitch and I’m the manic pixie dream girl.”

… Hytham has no idea what Desmond meant about that but Desmond tended to use a lot of phrases and words Hytham didn’t understand. If Hytham was to translate it, Desmond must meant that Tarben’s bread is a staple, something every person should have in their home, while Desmond’s bread is more of a luxury, something one eats as a treat.

But it was clear who some of the people of Ravensthorpe side with.

The most obvious ones were the parents sided with Tarben while their children sided with Desmond. It really helped that Desmond likes to ask the children for favors in exchange for bread. Just simple stuff like foraging the nearby forest for berries or fishing in the docks. The children love it because they get to do something and be rewarded for it. The parents hate it because their children always have so much energy after eating Desmond’s breads.

Desmond doesn’t care though because “children are the hope of our future” and Hytham was pretty sure he got that line from someone else.

Octavius also preferred Desmond’s breads because they, according to him, were the food of the Romans! Desmond doesn’t like that all that much because Octavius likes to request the same bread over and over again and Desmond’s setup is more of ‘today’s bread is whatever I felt like making!’.

Other than that, Randvi is in Tarben’s corner mainly because his bread always go well with the feasts (although a lot of people go and eat Desmond’s bread afterwards as dessert anyway) and his breads are also the ones being made into rations. Tarben is just better in making rations that can last for months.

Then again, Desmond doesn’t really like making rations in the first place because he preferred the ephemeral beauty of fresh bread.

At this point, Hytham was pretty sure Desmond was liberating using dramatic words just to mess with him. He doesn’t use any of these words or phrases around others.

A lot of the other people try to keep an open mind (and reap the rewards of both sides), especially Yanli who profited from both of them (and gave Hytham the stink eye when he helped Desmond find spices using another merchant) and Petra who do get requests for her hunts from both of them (although Desmond likes to request meat as well while Tarben only requests animal fat).

And then there was Basim.

The first time he visited Ravensthorpe, he beelined to Desmond’s bakery immediately where he and Hytham stared at each other while Hytham was eating bread. After that awkward silent “what are you doing here?” “what am I doing here, what are you doing here?” stareoff, Basim sat next to Hytham and ate bread as well.

Hytham wasn’t surprised.

For some reason, Desmond just… He has this bread that taste like home.

Not home as in the home Hytham had as a child but home…

As in the Hidden Ones.

To be more presence, it tastes so similar to the bread baked in Alamut that Hytham had to try and check if Desmond had ever been to Alamut.

Desmond just shrugged as he said that it was the first few breads he learned but it wasn’t from Alamut.

And he knew…

With this single bread…

Desmond definitely got Basim’s attention.

‘What if desmond time travels and has to deal with such and such, or turns into an animal, or gets hurt, or-’

What if Desmond time travels and learns how to bake bread!! Huh!!? What about that!! What if he opens a super successful bakery, and solves all the worlds problems with the best fresh baked bread every!!

(This is /j but like. 👏🏻 anons let Desmond have peace challenge👏🏻 (but also don’t cause I love reading all of them I’m just like ‘how did you even come up with this? Sometimes lmao))

Anyway, since we already have a Desmond is a baker in Renaissance Italy idea, here’s Desmond is a baker during the Third Crusades instead:

So in this setup, Desmond would say fuck it and just open a bakery in Acre.

Jerusalem was too much of a hotspot at the moment and Acre had ports which meant there would be new customers that Desmond could lure in with the smell of freshly baked bread. 

And it worked.

Maybe a bit too well because…

Kadar visited while he was out looking for information for his brother’s current target. 

They both stared at one another for a moment and then Desmond just did his usual ‘Welcome! Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to hear today’s recommendations?’ spiel while Kadar just stares at him.

When Kadar went “Altaïr?”, Desmond just gave him his best bartender ‘I’m being respectful but also distant so you’ll still tip me’ smile as he goes, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a bread called ‘Altaïr’.”

Then he showed Kadar the star-shaped pull apart sweet bread he’s just perfected and go “But maybe I can interest you in this pull apart start bread? It’s sweet and fluffy and freshly baked.”

And sweet poor Kadar leaves the bakery with a basket of breads instead because Desmond was good at using both Ezio’s charms and his bartending social skills to get customers to buy more than they should.

Hey.

A man needed to profit to keep the roof over his head while trying to experiment for the upcoming debut of his sugar-free pastries.

The next day, Malik entered the bakery but Desmond was ready.

Desmond had planned for this!

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted, giving Malik his sweetest smile that he knew would completely unnerve Malik.

Desmond weaponized the similarity between him and Altaïr to unnerve Malik to the point that he cannot focus on observing Desmond, distracted by such a sweet smile that looked so disturbing in his eyes because he’s imagining Altaïr doing such an expression and it was horror beyond Malik’s wildest imagination. 

Okay.

Desmond was exaggerating but that got Malik to not ask too many invasive questions and leave the bakery after purchasing two baskets worth of bread so Desmond was going to consider that a mission successful.

And then…

His greatest adversary entered his little quaint bakery.

And Desmond was ready for him.

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted happily, “Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to see today’s recommendations?”

Altaïr simply stared at him.

But that didn’t matter.

Desmond held all the cards.

Because he knew one of Altaïr’s greatest weakness…

Altaïr secretly loved sweets.

“Today’s a special day!” Desmond clapped his hands in practiced joy that wasn’t over the top, “Today’s the debut of our dessert line! Here.”

Desmond took out a tray of sweet deserts, glistening in either honey or fruit jams. 

“Would you like a taste?” Desmond asked with the sweetness of the snake that tempted Eve to take a bite.

And Altaïr…

Altaïr left the bakery with a basket filled with desserts and pastries, quietly sinking into the shadows before anyone could see him and ask for one of the forbidden sweets he had acquired.