#sort of like... disturbing and heart-warming at the same time? kinda 'maybe things could be alright' sort of feeling idk | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

butwhyduh · 4 years ago

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Hair Bows

Roy Harper x batsis!reader

Summary: a date turned into a play date turned into work. Basically Lian taking over Titans tower. And canon has no home here.

“I’m just about to head out the door,” you said over the phone, still doing your hair. Roy wasn’t the most punctual guy and this was your way of coping. If you were also always late, it didn’t bother you as much.

“Wait,” Roy said and you heard a muffled sound like him running his hand down his face. “I can’t go.”

“Why not?”

“My babysitter punked out at the last minute so I can’t leave Lian. I’m sorry,” he said.

“Oh, uhhh, bring her,” you suggested, hopefully sounding casual. You’d met her a few times but nothing big and your date was just a walk in the park. Nothing a kid couldn’t do. And you were hoping to be a little more seriously dating.

“Seriously?... on a date?” He asked.

“Not if you don’t want to. But I just thought we were going to the park and we can let her run around. You know what? Never mind, if you need to stay home it’s cool. I don’t know anything about kids-“

“Hey, it’s a good idea,” he said stopping your ramble. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Most people don’t want someone else’s kid on their date.”

“Most people shouldn’t date people with kids if they can’t be around them,” you answered, finishing up. “Now am I meeting you both at the park or..”

“Now I know why I’m dating you,” Roy said and you could hear the smile through the phone. “I’ll pick you up. Lian’s not a fan of riding in other people’s car so Uber is out.”

“Can’t blame her. See you soon,” you answered.

——————————

You had changed into a slightly less sexy and more family friendly top and sensible shoes by the time Roy picked you up. Can’t chase a kid in heels.

Roy looked nice in a button down and jeans with no holes in them. Not a trucker hat in sight. And of course, Lian was a doll in a spring themed dress and leather bottomed sandals. The first thing she showed you was an impressively high kick.

“And it’s okay because dad makes me wear shorts under it. For taking out punks,” she said knowingly. You nodded.

“For punks. Good idea.”

“In case they get fresh,” Roy said to you as she ran to a slide.

“Fresh? She’s 5. Maybe Lian should teach me that move. I know this guy that’s always trying to get fresh,” you said as he wrapped an arm around your waist from behind and rested his head on your shoulder.

“Hmmm, should I kick his ass,” Roy said playfully.

“I’d pay to see you kick your own ass,” you said with a laugh.

“Ouch, and I thought you liked me,” he said, sounding dramatically wounded. You laughed again.

“The entertainment value tho. Hard to beat.”

“So many ‘hard to beat’ jokes I would make right now,” he whispered in your ear and you pulled out of his arms. You were rolling your eyes but the grin ruined the disapproving air you were trying to have.

“Not that kinda date,” you reminded him and as if on cue, Lian ran over to Roy and grabbed his hand. She started dragging him to a food truck.

“Can we get a funnel cake? Or ice cream? Or a hotdog?” She asked excitedly.

“Hotdog and then ice cream on top of a funnel cake,” he said in a mock serious tone as he bent down beside her. She grinned widely. “We aren’t animals!” She squealed and dragged him to food truck.

You grinned as you watched them. Roy had fucked up a ton but this was not one of those times. Nope, he was a great dad. He looked back at you confused as why you hadn’t joined them and you jogged over to them.

“Sorry, just lost in thought,” you said as they made your food. Roy had a hand casually around your waist as Lian tried to swing on his other arm.

“Bout what?” He asked.

“How good a dad you are,” you admitted. He gave you a shy crooked smile before kissing your forehead.

“You bats are always in your head too damn much. But thanks,” Roy ended softly. He handed Lian a giant hotdog that she promptly started eating before giving you your food and he his. “Let’s find a spot to sit before you drop that giant hotdog.”

As Lian licked sticky sweet ice cream coated funnel cake pieces off of her arm, Roy’s phone went off. He smiled apologetically before getting up to answer it. A few minutes later he came back to the table looking even more apologetic.

“Titans business. I have to go but...” he started, running a hand through his red hair. “I don’t have a babysitter.”

“I could watch her,” you suggested and Lian looked up at him kinda sad. “I could watch her at the tower. You’d be right there but we’d stay out of the way.”

“You sure? That isn’t too much?” He said unsure, looking between you both.

“Yeah, I’ve watched kids before. And I know the tower really well. We’ll watch movies and fall asleep. Do you want a sleep over?”

“Yeah! Go on dad, I’m fine,” she said waving a hand at him. You both laughed. “Dads,” Lian said rolling her eyes playfully. Yep, she’s Roy’s alright. “Do you have popcorn?”

“Yep!”

“Candy?”

“Yep! And I know where my brother Tim keeps the good imported stuff,” you said and she grinned.

“Not too much. Or staying up too late. Or anything scary or too grown up,” Roy said on the way to the tower. “And if anything happens. Anything. Get to the panic room.”

“I know the procedures,” you said putting a hand on his shoulder. “And I can keep her safe. Don’t worry. We’ll have fun.”

“And I can kick punks!” Lian said proudly.

“And she’ll kick punks! I’m hoping she hits Gar first. Did you know he can turn into any animal? He just chooses to be a punk,” You said and she giggled.

“Wow!”

“Alright. No kicking punks unless it’s really important because-“

“My body is a weapon. I know, dad,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Roy repeated the same sort of things up in the living quarters of the tower before giving you both a kiss. “Stay safe,” he said before going downstairs.

Some of the younger Titan recruits didn’t leave on the mission and were hanging out or training. You walked Lian over to the couch and went to find a movie she might like. You dusted off the dvds they had. Probably hadn’t added any new ones in many years with the extensive funding of Batman giving them every streaming service ever.

“How about this movie,” you asked, holding up a sun bleached dvd case. “Space jam?”

Lian looked at it carefully before nodding. You put it in the player and came back. “What about popcorn? Dad says movies are crap without it.”

“Oh,” you said. “Right. I’ll make some.”

“Popcorn?” Came a voice around the corner before the next you saw was a wind of red. “Hey kiddo,” Bart aka impulse said to Lian before shaking her hand. “Let’s pick a movie. There are some pretty good ones I haven’t seen. I’ve seen 12 movies.”

“Only 12,” she frowned skeptically and you took the opportunity to go in the kitchen and make popcorn.

“Hey, did you let Lian have speedster piggy back rides,” Tim aka Robin said ducking his head in the kitchen.

“No,” you said quickly running in the living area quickly. “Okay, enough of that. I don’t think her dad would be cool with this,” you said pulling her off of him. She pouted a little.

“Why does it smell like fire,” Cassie asked from the hall and you hurried back in the kitchen to see a flaming bag turning in the microwave. Before you could do it say anything, Bart opened the microwave and tossed the bag into the sink where the sponge lit on fire. Lian shrieked and you jumped up turn on the water to put them both out.

“That popcorn smells ewwie,” Lian noted. You sighed and pinched your brow. This is fine.

“I’ll make more and you go pick out a movie. And nothing else,” you emphasized.

“Yes, ma’am,” Bart said with a salute. Tim winced.

“Sorry, he’s a lot.”

“One minor kitchen fire is not too bad. Have you heard from the mission?” You asked as you cooked the popcorn.

“Not yet. But no news is usually good news,” he reminded you and you nodded. That’s what Roy always said. You grabbed the bag and went in the living room to see an entire hot pink tackle box filled with every kind of hair tie and bows and baubles. Bart was sitting on the floor and Lian was currently tying a bright yellow bow in his huge mass of red hair.

“She wanted to do his hair so I got my stuff,” Cassie said.

“She’s a natural. She doesn’t rip out half as much hair as Cassie,” Bart said with a grin. You sat on the couch near them and started the movie as the popcorn passed around.

Halfway through the movie, Tim’s phone goes off. He looks at it and frowns. “Alright guys, we got to suit up.” They grumble but get up. Bart does a quick shake that reminds you of a dog and all the bows vibrated out of his hair. Lian laughed and tried to catch them as they fell out.

“Lian, give me just a minute to talk to Tim,” you told her and she nodded before putting a red barrette in Cassie’s hair. You walked in the kitchen with Tim.

“Is everything okay? Dick? Roy?” You asked quietly.

“I’m not sure. We’re just being called in. I’ll try and let you know more,” he said. You nodded and hugged your baby brother.

“Be safe out there.”

“Always.”

Lian was sitting on the couch as the cartoon played and she had moved on to putting bows on the fuzzy blanket on the couch. She yawned as she put bows in your hair and you looked at the time. It was probably close to bed time for her.

“Lian, do you want to lay down while watching your movie?”

She yawned again and nodded. “Yeah, dad will be home late again, hu? Work?” She was pretty used to his hero duty.

“Yeah, but I’m here.”

“Yeah, you’re here,” she said before laying on you. You froze for a second before feeling your heart warmed. She rubbed her popcorn greasy face into your shirt before getting comfortable. After a short while she was asleep and you pulled out your phone to take her photo.

You wanted to send Roy the photo but didn’t dare disturb him. You kept worrying about him and Dick and now even Tim as they fought. Why had they needed the back up? Were they hurt? In too deep? You had a hard time doing anything but worry.

Lian turned in her sleep and all but pinned you to the couch with her little fists gripping your shirt. You pulled the blanket over her. You tried to stay awake but once it hit 2 am and you were trapped on a couch with no lights on, you fell asleep.

Around 4 am, the team wandered in the tower slowly. They hushed one another as they saw you and Lian on the couch. Roy came in and stopped to look. He took out his phone and took a bunch of pictures of you both with a smile before he hobbled to the medical bay to be cleaned and patched up.

“Hey,” he whispered while gently tapping your shoulder a little while later. You woke up blinking in the light. “I’m going to carry her to the car. Are you coming?”

“Oh, yeah,” you whispered back. Roy carefully pulled the little girl off of you and she clung to his shirt in sleep. He grabbed his bag of gear as you got up with a stretch. You waved bye to everyone before leaving.

Halfway down the road, Roy turned to you. “She really seemed comfortable on you.”

“Yeah, she climbed up herself. I was a little surprised. I guess I didn’t mess up tonight,” you said with a little self deprecating laugh.

“Nah, you did great. I had to hear all about it from the kid heroes on the way back. The hair bows was genius,” he said. The car quietly pulled in his driveway.

“That was Cassie. And when Lian saw all of Bart’s hair her eyes went wide like a cat at a ball of yarn,” you laughed.

“Yeah, she’s a fan of long red hair. Ask me how I know,” he said shaking his hair and you laughed. Lian moved in her sleep.

“So she ripped out your hair so Bart’s could survive,” you said quietly.

“Something like that. Can you get the door,” he said before scooping Lian out of her car seat. You held the door as he carried her to her room and laid her in her toddler bed that currently had a Superboy blanket. She had just about any hero you could image in some product or another.

Roy met you in the kitchen. “Thanks, you know. For watching her today. I appreciate that,” he said. You tossed him a water bottle.

“Yeah, she’s awesome. We had fun,” you said, leaning on the counter with your elbows. Roy came up behind you and rubbed your shoulders.

“Not everyone is cool with dating a dad so thanks,” he said. You turned your head to look at him.

“Well, they are missing out. Got my own DILF,” you teased.

“Oh god, I’m a DILF,” Roy said with a hint of horror in his voice. “Speaking of ILF... I know someone I’d like to ILF,” he said kissing your neck and pressing himself against your back. His hands moved under your shirt and up to your chest. “Wanna take it to my room?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

#roy harper x reader #arsenal x reader #dc fanfic #batfam #batsis #batsis!reader #arsenal x batsis!reader #roy harper x batsis!reader #Lian harper #titans tower

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amarimaryllis · 4 years ago

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All The World Drops Dead (Oikawa x Reader)

Pairing: Oikawa/Reader, Slight!Iwaizumi/Reader (like very slight, microscopic kinda slight, almost as if it’s not there unless you read between the lines because it’s not explicitly stated kinda slight) Prompt/Summary: Loving Oikawa Tooru was a dream and maybe it was time to wake up. Alternatively, Oikawa leaves you behind to chase his dreams. Tags: Angst, Fluff Note: I used she/her pronouns for the reader, Bold Italicized sentences are excerpts from the poem “Mad Girl’s Love Song” by Sylvia Plath Warnings: Swearing, Crying (like, a lot), Kinda long (5.7k words), Haikyuu Timeskip Spoilers

Part of A Sensitivity to Ephemera

Loving Oikawa Tooru was a dream. It was hard-earned. Years of pining and pursuing took place before he ever even saw you in a romantic light. Three years in junior high school and an additional two years in high school. It was hard, but in the end, it was all worth it.

On the journey to what seemingly looked like forever, the name L/N Y/N had been associated with many titles.

Dedicated.

Lovesick.

Brave.

And on occasion, heard in the hushed whispers that echoed through the halls of Aoba Johsai, desperate.

Some part of you gloated once you had proved them all wrong at the end of your second year. It was a quick confession filled with mumbled words and hasty movements. You couldn’t even look the setter straight in the eyes as you mumbled a small “I’ve been in love with you since junior high, and I just needed to get it off my chest since we’ve been friends for a long time, and I felt guilty keeping it a secret from you.”

Impressively, you were able to say all of that in a single breath.

“I know.”

A single breath taken away from you the moment Oikawa Tooru cupped your cheeks and pressed the softest of kisses against your lips.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;

In that moment, as you lose yourself in the kiss of a boy you had once considered a distant dream, the world stops and there is nothing left but the warmth of his hands against your skin.

I lift my lids and all is born again.

Suddenly the world was back in motion as Oikawa pulled away from the kiss. Your eyes flutter open and before you, you see chocolate eyes and a charming smile.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N-chan?”

You’re pulled from your thoughts at the sound of Oikawa’s voice. You were brought to the present. Oikawa hugging you from behind as you sit between his legs, an alien movie of sorts playing on your laptop placed on the bed (You didn’t bother checking the title since it was Oikawa’s turn to choose anyway).

“Have the aliens taken my adorable girlfriend and replaced her with a clone?” You can practically see the pout on his face from his tone alone as he wraps his arms tighter around your waist.

Your face warms but you don’t fold as you answer in your most deadpan tone. “I can only wish.”

“How mean.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, but amusement is clearly written on his face. “Iwa-chan is rubbing off on you.”

“Probably cause I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known you.” You answered casually. “Although I’ll admit it’s probably cause I’ve been seeing him more than I’ve been seeing you.”

You were not meant to say that.

You did not mean to say that (out loud, at least).

Especially not with that bitter undertone laced in your words.

“Oh?” You can practically hear the smirk in Oikawa’s voice as he digs his fingers lightly into your sides. “Replacing me with Iwa-chan already? How mean~”

One part of you was thankful that Oikawa chose not to unpack the issue of his recent absences since you weren’t really ready to lay your feelings out in the open yet. However, another part of you realizes that you just dug your own grave, and Oikawa Tooru was probably going to be a little shit about what you just said.

“Maybe you need me to remind you who your boyfriend is?” Oikawa’s lips brush against the shell of your ear and you could feel the tiniest of shivers diffuse throughout your body.

He presses a kiss behind your ear. Your face warms. He follows the previous action with a tender kiss on your neck. You nearly combust.

But of course, for the sake of what’s left of your dignity, you bite back. “Maybe I do.”

You can feel Oikawa grin against your neck, as if he expected nothing less. “Perfect.”

Oikawa turns you around so that you’re straddling him, legs thrown over on both sides as you sit on his lap. He grabs you by your wrists and leads you to wrap your arms around his neck before his hands eventually find purchase on your hips.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed

And with that, he’s kissing you. It was almost as if he was trying to chase away any thoughts of Iwaizumi from your head with the way he was moving his lips against yours. Oikawa knew that he didn’t have to worry, but he can’t help it. He’d take any opportunity to kiss his girlfriend senseless.

And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.

Oikawa brings his hand to your nape, pulling you closer, deeper into the kiss, deeper into the dream created by the motion of his lips. There’s a desperation in his actions as if he was trying to make up for something.

And in that moment, you understood. This was his temporary apology. The way his hands trailed from your neck down your arms before it settled on your hips was his way of placating any possible hostility you may hold against him for his recent absence.

You didn’t really mind. You understood that he was busy, but you had the right to miss your boyfriend every now and then. The only thing you could do now was to take as much as you could of Oikawa Tooru before he’s once again pulled back to the whirlwind that is called his life.

Oikawa pulls away for a second before he’s back to pressing kisses on any expanse of skin that he can lay his lip upon without moving from the position you were both in. You were both so lost in your makeout-session--excuse the lack of a better term--that you weren’t able to hear the text notifications from Oikawa’s phone until someone was actually calling him.

“Babe, your phone’s ringing.” You managed to pull away from Oikawa to inform him, but he’s relentless, ignoring what you just said and the phone in favor of trailing kisses up and down your neck.

“Babe--”

Oikawa pulls away for a second. “Ignore it, they’ll probably give up soon.”

You roll your eyes and go back to kissing your boyfriend. You guys were getting back to the groove of things until it was once again interrupted by the ringing of Oikawa’s phone.

A groan of frustration leaves Oikawa’s throat at the disturbance, and you attempt to hold in your amusement at the irritated look he had on his face as he reached to the side and answered the phone.

“What?” You nearly snorted at how frustrated Oikawa sounded.

However, as the other person answered, that look of frustration was replaced with a softer gaze which made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. The stream of confusion only grew when Oikawa patted your thighs, an unspoken request for you to get off him.

“Oh Yuki-chan, what’s up?” A smile was on Oikawa’s face.

The stream of confusion had slowly turned into a murky ocean of several emotions that you had not encountered in a while.

Uncertainty.

Insecurity.

Fear.

You knew only one Yuki, and that was Fujimoto Yuki. The darling of the school, loved by all who meet her for her beauty and gentle nature. Oikawa’s friend.

Oikawa’s ex-girlfriend.

“Sure! Library on the second floor, and same time as always?” Oikawa talks animatedly for a second before freezing as if he was realizing where he was. When he speaks again, it’s softer, but there’s a hint of restraint in his tone as if he was trying not to show just how overjoyed he was.

Your heart sinks for a second before you mentally slap yourself. You felt guilty for feeling some dislike for the girl that Oikawa was talking to, but some part of you felt that you were justified in your dislike considering that this was your boyfriend’s ex. His ex who broke up with him because he was too invested in volleyball.

You felt sick.

A few moments pass and Oikawa ends the call. An awkward silence fills the room. Neither of you talk.

“I’ve been--”

“Was that--”

You both speak at the same time. You gesture for Oikawa to speak first and he does.

“I’ve been tutoring Yuki-chan recently.” Oikawa sounds uncertain.It was as if he was walking on eggshells with how cautious he was being. “If you’re wondering.”

“Fujimoto Yuki?” You sat against the wall that your bed was pressed to. “Your ex?”

“My friend.” Oikawa winces at the tone in your voice.

You try to make sense of what’s going on, One part of you wanted to let out all the negative feelings that were bubbling in your chest, but the more logical part of you chose to tread carefully so that the conversation doesn’t end in an argument. “Is that why you haven’t been around these past few weeks?”

Oikawa’s breath hitches for a second. “Yeah.”

“Stop being so defensive then.” You mask the uncertainty that gripped at your chest with a teasing tone accompanied by a playful jab to Oikawa’s shoulder. “They’re just tutoring sessions, right?”

Oikawa takes the path of escape that you opened up for him as he gives you a small smile. “Yeah.”

For now, you were at ease. You crawled back into his arms and Oikawa doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you before he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you.” You breathe out on his neck, heart racing with both love and fear racing through your veins.

Oikawa stills before he squeezes you tighter. “I know.”

That moment in your bedroom was now a thing of the distant past. It was forgotten, buried under several layers of denial. Looking back, you realized that the turmoil you felt then was nothing compared to the pure, unadulterated agony that threatened to rip you open at the present.

“Argentina?” You mumbled to yourself, repeating it in hopes that you’ll be able to make sense of what Oikawa had just said. “You’re going to Argentina in a month, and you’re only telling me now?”

Oikawa reached out to you, regret painted all over his face. “Babe-“

“Don’t-“ You pushed his hand away, and you almost felt guilty as a glassy veil took over Oikawa’s eyes, “-touch me.”

“I’m sorry.” Oikawa looks down, clenching his fists so tightly that he almost broke through the skin. “I didn’t want to ruin the remaining time we had left.”

You frowned, extremely confused. “What do you mean remaining-“

Ah. A look of realization settles on your face, and suddenly the fight within you dies. I get it now.

“So you just planned on leaving me then?” For the first time since the start of this conversation, you look Oikawa dead in the eye. “Leave me behind, no closure or anything. I’ll be left wondering where I went wrong or why I wasn’t enough. Is that it?”

You could see the tear roll down Oikawa’s cheek before he hastily wipes it away. Your jaw clenched and your throat felt tight. He had no right to cry when you were the one being left behind.

“I didn’t want to hurt you-”

“And look where we are, Tooru.” You hissed venomously, the pain slowly transitioning into anger. “I would’ve understood you know? I’d be more than willing to make it work-“

The split-second widening of Oikawa’s eyes was enough of an answer to you.

“Oh.” Your mouth opens and closes, but no words leave your mouth. The next thing you know, you’re choking on your tears as you lean against the wall, sliding down to the floor as you gasp for air.

Oikawa’s eyes widen and he immediately rushes to kneel beside you. He pulls you into his arms, rubbing your back gently as he urges you to let it all out. “Fuck, Y/N. Just breathe, okay? Let it all out.”

An ugly sob wretches itself from your throat and you can only grip onto the sleeves of Tooru’s sweater to ground yourself to the world around you. Your head pounds, and a sharp pain repeatedly stabs at your chest as you hold onto Oikawa Tooru as if he was the only thing keeping you afloat in the ocean of your turmoil.

“I’m so sorry.” Oikawa murmurs against your hair, and it is followed by his tears as they drop onto your head. “God, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I’m sorry.”

Oikawa’s sobs are beginning to match your own as he tightens his hold around you.

All you can focus on is the fact that he said “I love you”.

It took a few minutes for both of you to calm down. Numerous tears had to be shed and endless sobs had to be released, and now, you both sit in the aftermath of your confrontation.

Oikawa still held you in his arms as he sat on the floor. His arms were still tight around your waist, and your arms were still locked around his neck. The perfect picture depicting two inseparable lovers if only one were willing to ignore tear-stained cheeks and the creases of sadness that seem to have etched itself onto their skin.

“I’m gonna come back.” Oikawa mumbles against your neck before he presses a soft kiss onto it. “I promise you. I will come back.”

“Go chase your dream, Tooru.” You mumble back as you bury your head deeper into his shoulder, lip trembling, fingers shaking. “I don’t want to be the one to stop you.”

“When I come back, I’ll win.” Oikawa tightens his hold as the tears threaten to fall from his eyes once more. “I’ll make you proud. I promise.”

You smile sadly, resignation settling into your veins. “I’ll be watching so you better win.”

Oikawa smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s too guilty. Too conflicted. Too absorbed in his self-deprecation to fully smile. Regardless, he answers. “I promise.”

A month passes by. You don’t send Oikawa off. Only his friends and family were there, and you were nowhere to be found. Some part of him died at your absence, but another part of him was thankful because he probably wouldn’t have mustered the courage to get on that plane if he had to watch you slowly slip away from his grasp

You had both agreed that you’d enjoy the last month together. Oikawa thought it was best that you broke it off when he left for Argentina. He said it would be easier for you. You wondered if he was right. You wondered if you should’ve agreed. Oikawa was smart on and off the court, but emotions weren’t volleyballs that he could just toss around. Relationships weren’t game plans.

But it’s all in the past. From here on, you could only move forward. So you took up all you had, and you moved to Tokyo after you were accepted to a university in the capital.

The only connection you had left from your high school days was Iwaizumi. On occasion you’d talk to Matsukawa and Hanamaki, but it was Iwaizumi who had a more prominent role in your life. You had a strange bond, which was partially strengthened by the fact that you two were the people closest to Oikawa Tooru, and you were both left behind. The only difference between the two of you was that Iwaizumi still had contact with the setter while you had completely cut off all ties.

Aside from one tie, at least. From time to time, you’d find yourself looking through Oikawa’s social media profile. Just checking to see how he was doing.

If he was doing as badly as you were or if he had moved on.

It was what you were doing right now as you sat in a cafe waiting for Iwaizumi to show up to your usual “friendly” dates. The dates he liked to call “get Y/N’s dumb ass to move on from the dumbass called Shittykawa”. You were just about to click on Oikawa’s profile before someone suddenly took your phone.

It was Iwaizumi.

“Damn, what’s your problem?” You raised a brow as the former Seijoh ace took a sip from your coffee as he scrolled through your account, sitting down on the chair across from you. In all honesty, calling it a sip was an understatement, the man practically drank half of the cup’s content. Your eyebrow twitched in irritation.

“It’s unhealthy.” Iwaizumi answered once he had set the cup of coffee down, still scrolling through your phone.

“How is social media unhealthy?” You rolled your eyes, grumbling as you sipped what’s left of your coffee. “I’m just scrolling.”

“Makes you less productive.” Iwaizumi shrugs as he leans back on his chair, pointing an accusatory glace towards you. “Especially when you’re checking your ex’s Instagram.”

“I was not--”

Iwaizumi snorted. “Yes you were.”

“Yes I was.” You admitted, giving up since you knew that Iwaizumi was probably more stubborn than you.

“Y/N, you have to stop.” Iwaizumi tears his eyes from your phone for a second to emphasize his words. A look of concern along with something unreadable flashing through his eyes. “What’s the point of not communicating with him if you’re still gonna look at his profile every night.”

“Not every night.” You grumbled.

Iwaizumi scoffed and continued to scroll through your phone. Some part of him was also curious about Oikawa’s current life, and while he got updates from the setter through the calls, he hasn’t really seen his best friend’s profile in a while. “When’s the last time you checked—“

Iwaizumi stops himself as his eyes land on Oikawa’s most recent post and the caption attached to it.

‘Guess who I bumped into today’

When Oikawa Tooru left for Argentina, he had already accepted that it would be a fresh start. No one knew him there, and no one he knew was there. There were no expectations, and there was no image to uphold. And while that thought made him ecstatic beyond words, there’s always that melancholic undertone to the situation as he realizes that he’s completely alone. Sure, he had friends that he could play volleyball with, but Oikawa’s connection with them wasn’t as deep as the ones he formed in his own country. He chalked it up to his subpar Spanish-speaking skills. Perhaps the heavens knew that Oikawa Tooru, born with a silver-tongue and the face and body of a god, would be unstoppable if he knew how to speak Spanish fluently.

Which is why he was so shocked to see a familiar face holding a tray of food and asking if she could sit with him. The place was empty and the girl could literally sit anywhere, but Oikawa paid it no mind. All he knew was that before him was a reminder of home. Not home home, but Miyagi kind of home.

He never truly felt at home since her, but he didn’t want to dwell on that.

“So Yuki-chan,” Oikawa starts as he notes how the girl in front of him has changed since high school, “What brings you to Argentina?”

“School.” Yuki replies, an eager grin on her face as she looks at the man in front of her. “I needed a change of scenery.”

“Why Argentina?” Oikawa raises a brow. It was a harmless question on his end. He never really liked small talk, but he didn’t really have a choice. The woman across from him was practically a stranger. That’s what it felt like, at least.

Red floods Yuki’s cheeks and Oikawa realizes the implication.

His heart stops, and he wishes he had never asked. He didn’t need this. He didn’t want this. He genuinely hoped he was wrong, but the fidgety way Yuki moved and the way she bit down on her lip out of habit was enough to answer his question. Oikawa was familiar with that look. It was a look he had always put an effort to bring about when they were still together.

Yuki smiles, practically wearing her heart on her sleeve as she answers the setter. “Because you’re here.”

He didn’t like the sound of that at all.

Oikawa Tooru’s life was in Argentina, and you decided that maybe it was time to start accepting that. He had the path all ready for him, and all he had to do was walk through it. He’s earning decent money, living in a decent apartment, doing what he loves most—probably in more ways than one, you thought bitterly as you remembered the post Iwaizumi had shown you earlier in the cafe—and it’s all just working out for him.

So yes, maybe it was time to move on. It would be easy. If loving Oikawa Tooru was a dream, then so be it. Dreams were fleeting. Dreams were insignificant. All you needed to do was treat the memory of him the way you should be treating it. An unreachable reality. A product of the subconscious.

And with his absence, it has never been easier.

If only.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

“Hajime.”

Iwaizumi cleared his throat to speak, mildly unsettled by your choice to call him by his name. You guys were walking down a dimly-lit alley, and he wouldn’t be surprised if that would be the last alley he ever sees considering the tone you used. “Yes?”

“I guess I have to wake up now, huh?”

Iwaizumi is baffled. Confused. Discombobulated. Genuinely wondering what you meant because maybe the heartbreak finally drove you insane. “The fuck?”

“Damn I was trying to be poetic too.” You gave an exaggerated sigh, a small amused smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “Way to kill the mood.”

“Do I look like I care?” Iwaizumi’s eye twitched.

“You’ll never get girls to like you if you’re so harsh, Iwa-chan~” You teased, attempting to lighten the mood. “It’s a miracle that Fuyumi-chan still likes you.”

“Shut up.”

He didn’t need other girls to like him. He didn’t need Sato Fuyumi’s one-sided affection. This. This moment was enough.

Years pass and you find yourself in the locker room of Japan’s Olympic Volleyball Team, supporting their trainer the way bridesmaids support the bride on her wedding day. You knew how much the match meant to Iwaizumi, and you knew that win or lose, he’d still be happy with whatever happens. However, Iwaizumi still has a competitive streak, and you knew that hell would have to freeze over before Iwaizumi Hajime stopped chasing victory.

“You nervous?” You asked, eyes trailing after Iwaizumi’s pacing form. His eyebrows were pinched together, and his lips were pulled into a straight line. “The match is in 30 minutes.”

“Don’t remind me.” Iwaizumi groans as he plops down on the bench beside you.

“They’ll be fine.” You smiled. “You’ve trained them well, and they’ve been giving their all.”

“What if we lose?” Iwaizumi asks, uncertainty lacing his voice.

You scoffed. “You’re probably used to it considering your old rivalry with Ushijima-san-“

Iwaizumi punches your arm.

“Hey that hurt!” You glared at the trainer while you attempted to soothe the point of impact.

“Good, it was meant to.” Iwaizumi smirks before it fades into a soft smile. A distant look glazes over his eyes before he continues speaking. “He’ll be there, you know.”

I fancied you’d return the way you said

“I know.” You shrugged. After so many years, the pain had become a dull ache. It may have been dull, but it was an ache nonetheless. “He did promise.”

Silence fills the room.

“Are you ready to face him?” Iwaizumi turns to look at you, attempting to gauge your reaction only to be met with a blank expression painted onto your face.

“Honestly,” You almost scoff as you start your lie with that word, “I think I’ll be better off not seeing him.”

Silence takes over.

You didn’t want to admit that you never truly moved on. You didn’t want to admit that all those years apart only made you better at hiding how devastated you were. While it’s true that the pain has dulled out, it seemed to be chronic. It’s manageable most of the time, but there are days where it flares up when you’re alone in your room and no one’s there to call you stupid for holding on. It always hits you as hard as it did in the past, sometimes it gets even worse. You were afraid that saying it out loud would solidify itself into your waking reality, not that it hasn’t, but you’d take whatever chance of denial you could get.

Loving Oikawa Tooru was no dream. It was a nightmare on repeat and you showed no signs of waking up.

The nightmare just got worse the moment he stepped onto the court and on your hopes of ever moving on. It grew out of control when he stepped off, victory smiling down on his figure, and his eyes were set on you.

So you did what you deemed to be the best course of action.

You ran away.

Kind of stupid now that you think about it, considering that your were quite literally running away from an Olympic athlete.

But I grow old and I forget your name

“Oikawa-san.” You bowed slightly before straightening up. You didn’t have a choice other than to act civil considering that the athlete cornered you in the corner of an empty hallway. “Congratulations on your victory.”

When you look up at Oikawa, you’re shocked to see the pain written on his face. His lips were parted, eyebrows were furrowed, and there was a glassy sheen glazing over his eyes. “Oikawa-san?”

Hearing his voice almost made you want to burst into tears, but you didn’t fold, choosing to clench your fists and grit your teeth in hopes that you’ll be able to keep your composure. “That’s your name, isn’t it?”

Oikawa’s mouth falls open fully, and unlike you, he’s not putting any effort into masking any emotion. He looked like he didn’t know what to say. It seemed that he wasn’t expecting the situation before him. “I’m sorry.”

You could feel the tears pricking at your eyes. You avert your gaze from his, turning it to the floor and hoping that he wouldn’t be able to see the tears that began to form. For a second, it felt like you were reliving your third year in high school. “You kept your promise. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Oikawa reaches out towards you. “I’m sorry for leaving-”

“Don’t.” You hissed as you moved away, the last shreds of civility escaping your body. “If you didn’t leave you wouldn’t be here today, so don’t.”

“It was hard without you.” Oikawa sounds defeated as speaks. If he had a goal in mind when he cornered you, it seemed that the said goal was now out of reach. The flame in his eyes when he approached you was slowly dwindling. “Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve listened to you and made it work-”

You could feel your head starting to pound. “Oikawa, don’t-”

Oikawa continues speaking, fim, determined. “Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I still had you by my side even if you were halfway across the world-”

You could feel your throat constricting as the tears began to fall from your eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if I had asked you to come with me-”

Yuki’s face flashes through your mind, and you break. “Can you just stop?!”

Oikawa looked like he expected that from you because he was unfazed at your tone. “I’ve been away from you for almost seven years, and every night was hell.”

“Every night was hell, as if.” You hissed through your tears, stepping away from Oikawa as you gave him the darkest glare you could muster. “You had Fujimoto at your side. You didn’t need me.”

For some reason, instead of the guilt that you were looking to find, you saw a rekindled flame slowly starting to blaze through his eyes. “I only met Fujimoto once.”

“I’m not your girlfriend. I don’t need your explanation.” You replied sharply as you turned your gaze to his shoes.

You don’t pull away when Oikawa pulls you to his chest to surround you with his embrace. You allowed yourself to enjoy this moment, just this one moment before you decided that it was time to let go.

You grip at his shirt as you speak, lip trembling, fingers shaking. “Just… I’m trying to move on, and you’re just making it harder for me.”

“What if I don't want you to move on?” Oikawa tightens his grip as he feels you attempt to pull away.

“Then you’re a selfish asshole.” You managed to hiss out, continuing to struggle in his hold. You knew that the longer you were in his arms, the less you would be willing to put up a fight.

“I love you.” Oikawa whispers, and all the fight within you dies.

“Don’t.” You choke out as your vision turns blurry from tears. “You don’t mean that.”

“I mean it. God, if it means that I have to tell you everyday, every hour, every minute just to convince you I will.” Oikawa is firm as he pulls away and looks you straight in the eyes. “I love you. I didn’t say it enough back then. Looking back, I never really did enough to let you know just how much I loved you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but please--”

Oikawa stops to close his eyes, taking a deep breath as he attempts to calm his racing heart, hands trembling as he holds you by the curve of your biceps. “Please, give me another chance.”

Silence engulfs the two of you.

You can feel the blood rushing to your head, throbbing, pulsing as you take in the words that had left Oikawa’s lips. Your throat goes dry, your limbs feel weightless, and for once in your life, you don’t know what to do. You didn’t have the guts to push Oikawa Tooru away. You loved him too much to ever truly get over him, and here he was presenting you a reason to not move on from his unyielding presence--even if he was physically absent--that had such a great influence over your life. On the other hand, you’ve had to endure years of heartbreak caused by his departure, and you weren’t sure if you could handle any more. It would be too difficult.

But you didn’t really give a shit anymore.

Oikawa's eyes blow wide open as your lips meet his. In that moment, he felt everything and nothing all at once. The world around him fades, and all he can focus on is the warmth of your hands that bleeds into his cheeks, the movement of your lips against his, and the feeling of your skin underneath his fingers as he kisses you back desperately.

When you pull away to catch your breath, Oikawa gives you a second before he presses you to the wall, wraps one arm around your waist, and rests his weight on one palm beside your head. He kisses you once more, desperation, regret, apology, and the promise of a better future bleeding through his kisses as he pulls you closer to his body, chest to chest, with only bone, muscle, and cloth to separate the hearts that--in the beginning of days--may have once belonged to the same body.

The waves calm and Oikawa speaks. He doesn’t ask--no--he says it with his whole chest, unwavering as conviction settles itself into his dark eyes.

“Come to Argentina with me.”

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;

At least when spring comes back they roar again.

Iwaizumi is leaning against the wall, smiling sadly to himself as he begins to stand up straight, preparing to walk away, whether it was from the venue or from the reason there’s a slight pang in his chest, he didn’t know.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and a familiar name is shown along with a message that he deemed was the sender’s attempt to comfort him on his team’s loss.

Sato Fuyumi

I watched the game [5:31 PM]

You guys fought well so don’t be too down in the dumps, okay? [5:32 PM]

Iwaizumi smiles a little as he pockets the phone. Sato was right, they fought well, he fought well. Two years in middle school, three years in high school, and nearly seven years after, all he did was fight and hold on.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead

For a second, Iwaizumi closes his eyes and through them he sees flashes of countless memories: locks of hair, teary eyes, and the saddest face that looked a little out of place for someone who gave him a reason to smile.

Iwaizumi almost didn’t want to open his eyes. Maybe if he shut them a little longer then the images of an impossible future would become the reality of his waking world, but he knew it would never play out like that. Deep in his mind, in the darker corners of his head that was covered by layers of denial, the distant memory of a dimly-lit alley plays in his head. Iwaizumi scoffs as he realizes that he wasn’t the only one who still had their eyes shut.

(I think I made you up inside my head)

A lifeless chuckle escapes Iwaizumi’s lips as he tries to shut his eyes tighter, pain and frustration pooling underneath his lids. The realization hits him, and he resists the urge to cry because he had seen this happening before it even did, but he was too stubborn to admit it, too caught up in a dream that he’d eventually be violently ripped awake from.

Oikawa Tooru defeated him twice that day.

And the second loss was more painful.

A/N: I finally posted this one AHHHHH. I like to think that the writing style I used in this one was better than my previous ones in terms of imagery, but I don’t know, I’m still trying to find a solid writing style and PHEW it is difficult. Anyways, I hope you guys liked this one!

#oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #genre.angstfluff #cont.spoilers #tw swearing #tw angst

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fatiguing-thoughts · 4 years ago

Text

“Natural” - Chapter Four - Embry Call x Reader

Baking Cookies

When I awoke in the morning, the spot where Embry’s body laid was empty.

I rolled over onto the pillow he used and immediately was greeted with the scent of him. I smelt the teakwood scent of his shampoo, deodorant, or cologne of sorts.

I smiled to myself, figuring it was after I told him I loved the smell of my new mahogany teakwood candle I bought four years ago. Since that day, he switched over to stuff that smelt that way. My mind raced back to the day in question.

Embry walked into my house, a little earlier than Jake and Quil would arrive.

“Hey Em, what’s up?” I look up from the couch. “Not much.” He smiles at me like a doofus from the doorway.

“Come on Em, sit down.” I pat the spot next to me.

He plops down next to me, my senses invaded with one of my favorite scents. I turn and look at him, sniffing the air surrounding him.

“What’s up, bean?” He asks, raising his eyebrows. Acting completely oblivious.

“Em, you smell so good, that’s my favorite scent.” I move closer to him.

“Oh, is it?” He asks innocently.

“Yeah. Just like my candle, remember?” I look up at his face.

“Oh wow, so now I’m just gonna be a candle to you?” He laughs.

“No, you’ll be my walking air freshener.” I smile, burying myself deeper into his side before the other guys would soon arrive. Ruining my moment with Embry.

Though we weren’t dating back then, nor mentioned any deeper feelings, our physical contact always implied more. Embry always held me like I was a bubble about to burst-- only when we were alone, of course.

I cherished Embry’s touch more than I would’ve liked to admit back then, and I hoped he had felt the same.

I open my eyes, thanking life and whoever was in charge of it for making Embry my soul mate. I never thought I would hear Embry say the words he did, I always thought neither of us would grow the balls to do it.

I stand up, walking over to turn the lights on. I saw a note on my desk out of the corner of my eye.

Good morning bean. Sorry I had to leave. I didn’t wanna tell your dad we were dating by him catching us in your bed and I told my mom I would make breakfast for her today. Text me when you wake up.

Love,

Embry

I smile at the sweet gesture, holding the note to my chest.

I check the time, seeing that it’s only seven in the morning. I figured that since today was my dad’s first day back to work since we moved here that I should make him breakfast and coffee. He wasn’t going to wake up for another half an hour.

I go downstairs and start making pancakes and muffins as I turn the coffee maker on.

About a half an hour later, I hear my dad shifting around upstairs, getting ready for work. He was due to leave at 8:30, so by then everything would be done and warm.

“Hey what’s up kiddo? You’re up early.” I hear from behind me in the kitchen entryway.

“I figured I’d make you breakfast today. First day back at work, ya know.” I smile at him, putting the plate of pancakes down on the table next to the cup of coffee.

“Thank you. I appreciate it, it smells great in here.”

“That’s the chocolate chip muffins.” I say as I begin to take them out of the oven.

We sit and chat, talking about how my day went yesterday.

“So you and Embry, is that finally a thing?” He asks, eyes raising and putting more pancakes in his mouth.

“I mean, kinda.” I smile at my plate.

“Billy, Harry, and I were talking about it. Well we talked about all of you, actually. Apparently Jacob is still chasing Bella like a lost puppy. But we all talked about when you and Embry would finally do something about your whole ‘situation’ you’ve got going there.” He says, waving his finger in a circle as he talked about our ‘situation.’

“Wow, good to know you were all in on this.” I chuckle.

“Listen, we’ve all been waiting for a wedding since you guys were like four.” He laughs, hands up in the air, feigning innocence.

“Very sweet.” I say snarkily.

“Regardless, I’m just happy to see you happy again.” He smiles at me, eyes showing true appreciation and happiness.

“Thank you dad.”

That’s the thing about my dad, he really only cared about my feelings and what was the best for me. He too, was one of my best friends, but the father that he needed to be, too. He really did the whole “dad” thing well. As well as the whole “mom” thing, considering my mother left us when I was four.

The one thing I took from that shitshow was that you can’t force people to love you, or to be in your life. Sometimes I wonder about where she is, or if she misses us. But most of the time, I couldn’t be bothered. My dad raised me better than she ever could have, I have no regrets growing up with solely him. He was the best father I could ask for.

“Oh and one more thing.” He looks up from the paper.

“Yeah?”

“Tell Embry that if he’s trying to be sneaky, that he’s really bad about it.” He sips his coffee.

“What?” I choke on my pancake.

“I’m just saying, I was on the couch when he carried you in last night. I think you were asleep, but I never heard him come back down. He’s not still upstairs, right?” He looks at me, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh god no, dad. I was asleep, yeah. But no he didn’t sleep over. No clue how he left or when because like I said-- dead asleep. He had to drive my car home.” I took a sip of my water.

“Alright. I like him, (Y/N). But, don’t push it. I know you’re an adult now, but just… be careful. And let me have my own sense of peace.” His eyebrows furrowed together, almost cringing at what he was saying.

“Oh god, no dad. Please don’t do this now. Tiffany Call gave me that talk years ago to spare me from this situation exactly. We aren’t doing… that.” I say, uncomfortable talking to my dad about Embry and I’s potential sex life.

“Oh thank god. So you know how that all works, right? You know not to be stupid?” He asks, eyes pleading with mine.

“Yes, dad. Oh god please don’t do this to me. I don’t even know when that would happen, just don’t do this. I’m trying to eat.”

“Great. Good. I’m going to work now, make good choices.” He puts his plate in the sink, kisses my head goodbye, and practically sprints out the door.

“Holy shit.” I mumble to myself, playing with my food on the plate.

I text Embry a good morning and clean up my mess from breakfast.

I see that it’s not even 9:30 yet by the time I’m done and decide to get some more stuff done in my room.

I text in the groupchat that includes Jake, Quil, Embry and I.

“So dorks, what should I bring to the hangout/bonfire tonight?” I text.

“Anything edible, always.” - Quil

“I second that notion.” - Jake

“I mean, I was gonna say just yourself. But I’m down to eat whenever.” -Embry

“Come to my house at 5.” - Jake

“You got it boss.” I reply.

I received a call from Embry, telling me he was going to come over to my house in a few minutes.

I started to get all the ingredients together that it would take for me to make an absurd amount of cookies, not knowing how many people were going to be there. Plus getting a glimpse into how much the guys ate the last few days tells me that I would never have too much.

Within five minutes of Embry’s phone call, there was a knock on my front door.

I open it to see a smiling Embry, warming my heart. I hug him and pull him inside.

“How did you get here so fast?” I ask.

“I ran here, bean. I’m fast ya know. It took me like a minute.” He shrugs as he reaches behind me, grabbing a muffin off the counter, smiling.

“Oh like, in wolf form?” I ask, curiosity dripping off my tongue.

“Yeah, how else? Did you make these? They’re great.” He licks the crumbs off his lips, before bending down and kissing my forehead.

“Yes I did, thank you. That’s crazy, Em. Do you think you could maybe, show me one day?” I look at him with pleading eyes.

“Sure thing, bean.” Another kiss, but this one on the tip of my nose.

“And now you can help me make a disturbing amount of cookies.” I smile, throwing my finger guns in the air.

“I mean, if I must.” He teases, pulling me into him.

We began our baking fiasco. Chaos ensued quickly.

Embry flicked a smidge of flour at me, landing on my face and shirt.

“Em… did you just?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

“I may have, may not have.” He looks at me with a questioning face.

I took a bigger pinch, flicking it at him.

“Oh bean, you don’t know what you just started.” He smirked.

“No, Emb-” I was cut off as I was lifted over his shoulder, being spun around.

Our laughter echoed blissfully through the empty house.

“Put me down!” I shout, laughing too hard to breathe, slapping his back in an effort to get him to do as I asked.

“Never.” He laughs.

“Embry, I’m gonna get dizzy.” I giggle.

“Okay, fineeee.”

He places me on the counter, standing in front of me.

I looked deeply into his eyes, my hands finding their home in the hair on the nape of his neck.

His hands held my waist, pressing his forehead against mine.

“Please.” I beg.

He nods before he presses his lips to mine. Those soft, warm lips drove me crazy in the best way-- always leaving me starving for more. His every touch sent tingles up my spine. I slowly traced my tongue over his bottom lip, in which he just pressed his lips a little harder against mine.

“Sorry.” He pulled away breathlessly.

“For what?” I ask.

“I just, I want to take things slow. I promised it to myself, and you. You deserve that respect.”

“I don’t think you making out with me would make me think you don’t respect me.” I laugh.

“I know. I just want it to feel like it’s us, I want to go slow because of the bond. The bond makes it difficult to take things slow, but I want you to know I felt this way well before I imprinted.” He smiles softly.

“I understand, Em. Thank you.” I kiss his cheek.

“I’m so glad it was you. I always thought deep down it would be, but I couldn’t bear it if it wasn’t. I never wanted to hide this from you, and worse off I would never want someone else.”

“I’m so happy it was me, too. I can’t thank my lucky stars enough.” I smile at him.

We sit in each other’s arms for a few moments, until we decide it’s best that we get back to the baking.

Hours later, we had made like 75 sugar cookies. I was drained, and never wanted to see another oven again. But, the cookie dough was always a nice treat to sneak.

“This is enough, right?” I ask.

“Yeah, it’s enough to hold us over for five minutes.” He laughs.

“Five minutes?!” I exclaim.

“I’m just kidding… kinda. We all eat a lot. There’s gonna be other stuff there, too. We made more than enough cookies.” He laughs.

We pack them up and watch our favorite cartoons until it’s time to go over to Jake’s.

We pack the cookies in my car and head over.

“So how was breakfast with your mom?” I ask, turning my attention from the road to him for a second.

“It was good. She was happy to see me in the morning, opposed to me running around all hours of the night mysteriously.” He chuckles awkwardly.

“Why not tell her, Em?”

“She doesn’t need that. She’ll worry just as much, if not more. Knowing that this life really entails. She’ll get scared. It’s better to do it this way, believe me. I love her and I hate lying, but it’s better. Then it brings up awkward shit I don’t wanna talk about, this obviously came from my dad’s side. We don’t exactly talk about him, you know.” He looks at me with saddened eyes.

“I think I understand. I’m sorry Em. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk or get out of the house.” I rub small circles in the back of his hand.

“Thank you.” He looks at me with caring eyes.

“Of course. By the way, I made breakfast for my dad, too.” I stifle my laugh, trying to lighten the conversation.

“Oh, how was that?”

“He said you’re not good at being sneaky.” I laughed.

“What?” His face dropped, eyes widening, trying not to laugh. “Well, he said he was on the couch when you brought me in. Then he said that he never heard you leave, asked if you slept over. I told him you didn’t. I saved you, Em.” I smirk at him.

“Oh god, that’s great. Exactly how I wanted to see him again.” He groaned.

“He still loves you. Apparently him, Billy, and Harry were all trying to figure out how long it would take for us to get together. Apparently they all thought we would grow up and end up together.” I laugh.

“I know, my mom did, too. I told her this morning about us, she was really happy to hear about it. She wants to see you again.”

“I can’t wait to see her. Let’s do that this week.” I smile.

We pull up to Jake’s house and enter the small home.

“What’s up losers?” Paul calls from the couch.

“Hey Paul.” I wave from the end of the living room.

“Looking pretty still I see, huh?” He flirts.

I grabbed Embry’s hand as I felt him growing tense next to me.

“Shut up, Paul.” Embry hisses.

Paul raises his hands up in surrender.

“You got it man, I’m just being honest to my old friend.” He smirks.

He knew what he was doing, for sure. Paul used to love to instigate when we were younger. Can’t say I didn’t miss the fun jabs we used to have-- it was never boring with Paul around.

“Enough, Paul.” Billy rolls into the living room.

“Hey Billy.” I smile, walking over to say hello.

“Hey there, kid. I finally got to see your dad yesterday, had a great time. It’s great to have you both back. And how are you, Embry?” Billy looks over to Embry, who is basically velcroed to my back after Paul’s teasing.

“I’m good.” He smiled back.

He nods at Embry before smiling at me and rolling back into his room.

“You gotta chill, Paul. Embry’s gonna get mad now.” Quill laughs.

“I can take him.” Paul scoffs, smiling at Embry and I.

“Jeez, Paul. Ease up a bit. What did you get into today?” I ask, smirking.

“I’m just having fun! Can’t I torture Embry a little bit?” He laughs at me, throwing his arms up.

“Not about this, Paul.” Jacob scolds.

“Okay fine, I won’t make fun of you being whipped anymore.” He smiles.

I thump him in the back of the head after that one.

“Damn, (Y/N). Just as feisty as I remember. I missed having you around, you keep up with the banter well.” He laughs.

“Paul, there’s never a dull moment with you.” I roll my eyes, but he knew what I meant. I did miss his antics just a little bit.

Embry kissed the top of my head before we sat down with everyone. I took the couch and Embry took the spot in front of me.

I looked over to my left and looked at Jake.

“Hey, how did yesterday go?” I ask him, reaching out to grab his shoulder.

“Uh, complicated. But we have a grad party to go to this weekend.” He says, not looking from the TV.

“Complicated? How did it go?” I ask, concerned.

“We got into an argument.” He looks at me, shame spreading upon his face.

“What about?” I furrow my brows.

“Well, I thought we were having a moment. So I thought I should tell her again that he isn’t the only option. That I’m the better option for her. She wouldn’t have to change anything, be anything, she could just be Bella. I wouldn’t constantly put her in harm’s way.” He looks back at the ground.

“What did she say?”

“To stop berating her boyfriend and his family, because ‘I don’t know them’.”

“I’m sorry, Jake.” I empathize.

“Thank you. I just wish she would open her eyes and see what I could give her, I could give her so many things that he can’t.” He looks back at me with sad eyes.

“Well, I’m sorry, Jake. I really am. I don’t think you should sit and wait around for her, though. You need to live life for what’s best for you.”

“I’m not giving up until her heart stops beating.” He looks down at the floor angrily.

“Jake, she’s only like 18. That’s a very long time.” I pat him on the back, concern growing. “No, she wants to become one of them. She wants him to change her.” His jaw clenches, fists forming into tight balls.

“Jake…” I rest my hand on his, calming him slightly.

“(Y/N), I love her so much. I just don’t know how I could ever stop.” His voice cracks, looking back up at me.

“I know, I know. I think everything will work itself out one way or another. Maybe you’ll meet someone, and Bella will be less than a distant memory. You still never imprinted.” I reason.

Quil looks at me, shaking his head no quickly. I give him a confused look.

“If I imprint, if. Even so, I just want to love who I love, not whoever my genetics tell me I should. I want a say in my future. Not everyone gets lucky enough to imprint on their best friend they loved their whole life.” He glances over at Embry, glaring in his direction.

“Jake… Don’t do that. That’s not fair.” I whisper.

He lets out a sigh.

“I’m sorry.”

“Think of it this way, you know for certain that she isn’t your soulmate-- you know this isn’t what fate intended. I know you understand what I’m saying, you just don’t accept it. But once you do, you might realize that there’s more to life than Bella. You can still love her as a friend, but there’s something more for you out there than her. You are destined to love someone so intensely, so intense that 99% of people will never be lucky enough to experience it. You’ll have a love so pure it couldn’t even be put into words. You deserve the world, but Bella won’t be giving it to you. You have to support yourself, do things for you. You’ll meet someone along the way who will turn your world upside down, I just know it. I just wish it would be easier for you, sooner.” I smile at Jacob softly at the end of my speech.

Jacob looks at me, tears brimming his eyes. He pulls me into a tight hug, almost crushing me in his arms.

“Thank you, (Y/N).” He whispers.

Quil and Embry looked at me, eyes wide and seemingly astonished.

I rub slight circles on Jacob’s back for a moment, showing my support.

“Okay but, when I broke my arm, like actually shattered it, and cried-- you called me a bitch and told me to get over it. I just wanna address that real quick.” Quil breaks the silence, earning a little laugh from all of us.

Jacob chuckles on my shoulder, pulling back.

“Okay, and?” I ask sarcastically.

“I just don’t think I’m getting the same treatment.” Quil scoffs, laughing.

“Well, maybe if you didn’t steal my fruit rollup that day, I wouldn’t have been so upset with you.” I smirked. “I think those might not be of the same magnitude.” Embry defends Quil.

“Hey… whose side are you on?”

Embry raises his hands up in surrender.

“I’m just saying, you’re picking favorites, clearly.” He laughs.

“Oh hush, you know you’re all my best friends. I love you all.” I smile, rubbing a circle onto the back of Embry’s hand.

“Yes, we love you, too. Even if you’re kind of a bully. But that’s fine.” Quil shrugs, smiling to himself.

We all laugh a bit before sitting down in silence for a moment.

“So, this party…” I trail off.

“You can come.” He slightly smiles.

“Cool. I wanna meet the people, faces to names, ya know?” I admit.

“You’re meeting leeches, nothing too special.” Paul scoffs.

“Well, they won’t hurt me. I just wanna go with you guys, give Bella her gift, and then see all these vampires. I wanna see what they look like.” I admit.

“Freaky eyes. Though, they’re not as freaky as the red ones.” Quil interjects.

“Interesting. Well hopefully the party is fun.” I shrug.

I felt Embry tense up between my legs.

“Do you really want to go?” He asks, looking back at me.

“Yeah, kinda. Especially if you guys are going. I wanna see who Bella spends her time with, you guys don’t seem very fond. I wanna see why.” I scratch the top of his head, getting another whiff of that teakwood scent.

“I mean, we could stay home if you don’t feel safe.” He offers.

“Em, I think I’ll be okay. You’re all there, I don’t feel unsafe.” I tell him, trying to comfort him.

“Embry, she’ll be fine. She just got back, let her go to a party and have some fun.” Quil huffs.

Embry looks back at me with pleading eyes.

“Embry, I’ll be okay. Nothing’s gonna happen to me. Besides, I wanna see what happened to everyone I went to high school with.” I smile at him, leaning down to leave a kiss on his forehead.

“Okay, just please don’t stray too far from me there.” He pleads.

“Em, I won’t be letting go of you all night.” I smile.

“Yuck!” Quil throws a couch pillow at me.

“Rude.” I huff, chucking it right back.

“It’s almost time to go to the beach. I don’t wanna miss the food.” Paul says looking at the time.

“Oh we are not missing the food.” Embry says confidently.

“I’d never let such a thing happen.” Quil confirms.

“So let’s get going before Jared ruins it for all of us.” Jake smirks from the couch.

We all get up to leave when Jacob turns to me.

“Thank you.” He mouths, hugging me once more.

He pulled away and I saw Embry begin to look a little pouty.

I walk over to Embry, stand up on my tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek as I grabbed his hand.

He looks down at me, smiling like a goofball, returning the smile was as easy as breathing.

We all walk out and pile into my car to head over to the beach.

“Ooh, cookies!” I hear Quil and Paul exclaim from the back seat, I hear the container shifting.

“No!” I turn around shouting.

Quil and Paul look like they had just seen a ghost.

“She wanted to bring them to the bonfire.” Embry chuckles.

The car ride filled once again with Embry playing music, talking to Quil and Paul. I noticed that Jake was still quiet, poor guy.

I park the car and turn it off.

“We’re here.” Embry says, getting out of the car and running to my side to open my door.

“Bean.” He says, notioning for me to get out of the car.

“Thanks, Em.” I smile.

He places his hand on my lower back, driving me mad with excitement.

“Give me those cookies.” I point at Paul.

“Alright, boss.” He laughs, handing the cookies over to me.

We begin the walk down to where the bonfire was being set up and I see many people there, causing my nerves to rack and my heart to race.

Embry stops in his tracks, bending down to look me in the eyes, hands falling to the sides of my arms.

“It’s okay, they’re all gonna love you, you’re great. You’ve met them all before, things will go great. You even brought cookies. Try to relax, bean.” He gives me a comforting smile.

“Thank you, Em.” I smile.

“Of course. We gotta catch up with the rest of them, now. Let’s go.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead once more, before grabbing my hand and leading the way over to everyone.

“Hey everyone. (Y/N)’s back. She even brought cookies.” He announces.

“Hey, thanks for having me.” I wave, smiling.

___________________________

Word Count: 4269

I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII

#embry call #embry call x reader #embry call fanfiction #embry call imagine #jacob black #Quil Ateara #Jared Cameron #paul lahote #sam uley #leah clearwater #seth clearwater #brady fuller #collin littlesea #wolf pack #wolf pack x reader #twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight x reader

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vegalocity · 4 years ago

Text

Seperated (Red Groom AU)

The part of the Albino will now be played by -drumroll- Jin and Yin is that even a question? of course its Jin and Yin.

Also i rewatched this sequence a few times to get the dialogue right and... Am I on glue or are Humperdink and Count Rugen like... kinda into eachother?

Xiaotian awoke with pain. He pulled a hiss between his teeth as a rag—no doubt drenched with cleaning fluids for how much it stung—was pressed to his shoulder. The room he was in was dim when he forced his eyes open, but soon his gaze was met with the red eyes of a silver skinned demon.

“Who-” he croaked. “Where am I?”

“The pit of despair.” The demon hissed, his voice raspy and dim, it reminded Xiaotian of the whispers of a ghost. On some level it made him nervous. “Don't even think-”

“Yin, you gotta stay away from the guy while he's still injured, brother. You sound like a nightmare warmed over.” a far more normal voice made itself known, and Xiaotian watched a golden demon that other than the change in coloration seemed near identical to the silver one entered his vision.

“But Jin I-” The silver demon, Yin apparently, gasped. “Come on, I NEVER get to be the ominous assistant!”

“You're still ill, If you mess up the experiment by getting the prisoner sick Macaque is gonna ACTUALLY kill you, and I don't wanna be an only child.”

Yin huffed and puffed.

“Maybe he should go home.” Xiaotian offered weakly. Less guards meant less people to fight while he escaped after all.

“Pssh!” the gold brother, Jin apparently, waved a hand. “Like we'd EVER- Nah he's just gotta leave prisoner interactions to me. Speaking of!” He snagged the clean rag from his brother's hand. “You'd rather be treated by the one that ISN'T actively sick right now, wouldn't ya, prisoner?”

Yin let out a series of sneezes that nearly seemed to knock him off his feet. So Xiaotian was thankful when he finally shrugged and went over to a worktable while Jin leaned over and went to applying the cleaning fluid on his wound.

“Like my brother was saying though, don't even think to try and escape. Those chains could hold down the Monkey King, they're that strong.” The irony of that statement was lost on Jin, Xiaotian hadn't been in his monkey disguise when they'd captured him, it was unlikely anyone knew of his ruse. Even Red Son while surrendering (his heart still hurt at the memory of defeat in his voice) had been nonspecific about WHAT nearby mountain was his. “And the entrance is like, super secret too, like top secret. Only the Boss, the Prince, and my brother and I know where it is, and Yin didn't even pay attention when we were being shown the way.”

“It was boring!” Yin defended himself from across the room. “You were barely paying attention yourself!” Jin turned around and likely made an ugly face at his brother, whom quickly returned it with one of his own, before he turned back to Xiaotian.

“You're gonna die down here my good fellow.”

“Then why heal my wounds?”

“I 'unno. The boss tells us he likes his test subjects in tip tops before he messes them up.”

“We generally leave between 'experiments'” Yin added on, before letting out a loud grunt as he moved some heavy looking contraption across the area. “He's like.... Super creepy when he gets into it. Gives Jin the willies.”

“Honestly there are some times when I can't remember why we even work for him.” Jin agreed with a visible shudder and a shake of his head.

“Cuz mother said she would force us out of the house if we didn't find work, and he pays well.”

“Oh yeah, that.”

He wasn't paying much attention to the brother's banter, he'd already put together what matters.

“So they're going to torture me down here?” Jin hummed in agreement as he continued to clean him up of left over blood. “I can handle torture.”

Yin let out a raspy laugh that was somehow less disturbing than the audible shudder that went up Jin's spine.

“Look, my man, you're new here, you don't know.” There was something close to pity in Jin's voice and it almost immediately set off every alert in Xiaotian's nervous system. “that machine they rig people up to, it's no joke. We only heard the damn thing a few times and it's really, REALLY bad.”

“I still get nightmares!” Yin agreed.

But then Jin had finished cleaning up his wounds and went over to aid his brother in whatever he was doing moving things around, leaving Xiaotian to his thoughts.

Something so bad that it made demons recoil in fright? What sort of horror display was he in for? That Six-Eared Macaque did seem the sadistic type, but what did that entail?

He had to get out of here. He tested the chains, but no dice, his arm was still injured though the bleeding had stalled, and he was strapped down with both hands nearer his waist than his head so he couldn't even try to summon some backup in the form of a clone. And his shapeshifting was still rudimentary at best, he couldn't do any forms that would change his size quite yet and that was the one thing that could help him break out of here!

He'd have to stay put for just a little longer at least until he could figure something out.

At this point the Prince wasn't likely to kill Red Son until they were already married, and though his heart ached at the idea of his love being forced to play along with that cruel beast's games until he found a way around it, or managed to escape on his own—as he knew that he would at this point. Now that he knew that Red Son's heart had remained true, and Red Son knew he was alive, he knew his love would stop at nothing to get out of this arrangement and find him again, he was far too clever to simply go along with this and hope that those mercenaries were wrong or deceitful—he could find him on his own.

He knew he would. Red Son was far too intelligent for anything else.

–

Within three days time the Prince's father had died. And on that very night he and Red Son were married.

It was the day after the ceremony and Red Son, now a married man, was to be prepared not to be a demon king in his own right like he'd always assumed but-

–

“What? That's not right! Grandpa you're telling the story wrong!”

“What do you mean, little one?”

“Red Son doesn't marry the prince he marries Xiaotian! He's his true love not the prince!”

“But Red Son turned himself in to the Prince to save Xiaotian's life, remember?”

“But! But after the Forest-! And everything Xiaotian did to get back and save him from the mercenaries-! After everything he did he doesn't even get to marry him in the end?! That's so unfair!”

“Whoever said life was fair? Where'd it ever get written down that life was fair?”

“B-But! But! Xiaotian is still in the Pit of Despair! He needs Red Son to save him like he saved him! ”

“You wanna know how this ends or not?”

“...Yes...”

“Thought so. No more interruptions, alright? Where was I...-”

–

-It was the day after the ceremony and Red Son, now a married man, was to be prepared not to be a demon king in his own right like he'd always assumed but the husband of another. And as such he didn't know his new court anywhere near as intimately as he did his own back home. So he was taken to oversee the goings on of this court and acquaint himself with the advisers and nobles within.

He was dressed now not in the warm tones that his family was known for, but the cool pale purples of his husband's own court and in his own opinion, it clashed horribly with his hair, if it were a darker purple maybe, but this simply wasn't a good shade for him.

But that was just one in a long, long line of things that were wrong about this situation, so he did his best to appear the unflappable demon prince he once was.

Examining the court before him he could only compare it to the one he knew back home, and in many ways he found it much the same. The same types of sniveling yes-men, the same kinds of conniving power-seekers, and the same sort of surprisingly wise elders.

And then just three steps away from him, one of the advisers snickered. A cruel, twisted sound, a mocking laugh.

Red Son... was on a bit of a hair trigger for obvious reasons and whirled around at the noise, approaching the previously assumed sniveling coward, and feeling his hair light aflame behind him.

“Is there a problem?” He tried to make his voice as unshaken as possible, but the rage that was so quick to boil in his gut was difficult to contain.

“Oh no, your highness-” the adviser gave an melodramatic mocking bow. “No problems here, I simply find it funny how everyone else here seems to think you worth our respect!” The Demon loosed another gale of laughter and didn't seem the least bit frightened when Red Son reached forward and grabbed him by the collar. He didn't even seem surprised.

“What was that, you infernal garbage?!”

“The only garbage here is you, Red Son!” The Demon howled with laughter, before looking among his fellows, trying to gain support. “Can you all even believe it? This cold hearted princeling had true love in his hands and he let it go!” His gut dropped. “After everything Xiaotian did for you! To come back to find you! To save you and keep you alive when you couldn't even summon a candle's worth of flame in that forest and you repaid him by betraying him!”

The demon slipped from his slack grasp as he chortled, and Red Son found his limbs very weak indeed, his anger replaced by a cold, sick feeling.

“They were- He was going to kill Xiaotian, I had to-”

“Oathbreaker! Xioatian lives and you marry another! You had love in your hands and you treated it like garbage!” The demon leaned against the side of another adviser, whom seemed frozen in place. Much like how Red Son felt.

“Because that's what you are your highness! Garbage! Prince of all refuse!” The Demon shook his neighbor's shoulder. “Bow to him if you want! Go ahead! Bow to the prince of all slime! The prince of all filth! Prince of all putrescence!” His laughter never once abated, and when the demon took a step toward Red Son, he instinctively backed away.

“An oathbreaking fool! That's what you are!”

“Muck! Filth! Coward!”

His laughter was piercing.

Red Son awoke with a startle, heart thumping in his chest and a cold sweat across his brow. The King was still alive and the wedding was ten days away, yet his nightmares were getting worse. And on this morning he came to one conclusion:

“I cannot afford to bide time any longer.”

–

“See? I told you he'd never marry that rotten prince!”

“Yes you're very smart, shut up.”

–

As quick as he possibly could he changed from his sleep shirt into proper attire and began to plan his escape. His betrothed would attempt his life the second he let it slip that he knew of his plans, so he had to be quick, he had to be clever, and above all, he had to be sneaky.

He didn't know why his betrothed had decided to assume sincerity, but since he wasn't dead yet he could only guess that he was waiting until the wedding night to enact his plan and frame whoever he wanted to frame for Red Son's 'assassination'.

So he had ten days. Child's play, he could do it in three, tops.

The hard part would be keeping a low enough profile until he made it to Flower Fruit Mountain to evade whatever hunters his soon to be ex-fiance would send after him. How ironic, he thought to himself, that it was now his turn to make an impossible death defying escape and make his way back to his love.

He didn't have much by way of sewing skills, but the wardrobe of the rooms he was given had no mags with which to carry his supplies, so he had to make do with a spare blanket and what little he knew of hemming fabric until something resembling a traveling pack was made and ready.

It was about then that the prince made summons for him.

Red Son turned over what to do or say in his head as he approached the sitting room, and came to the conclusion that if he acted like he was alright with all of this then he would arouse suspicion. Red Son was well known for his temper, and he'd made it obvious that he had a love in Xiaotian. Though he'd willingly given himself up for his safety, the fact of the matter was that the prince had been willing to fight and hurt him, and if Red Son didn't already have plans to run then that would mean he'd be furious.

So he held himself as stiffly as possible and didn't hold back his scowl when the prince came into view.

“Ah! Beloved! How wonderful to see you!”

The prince seemed unshaken by Red Son's fury and remained unwavering as he stiffly marched over and sat across from him. It occurred to Red Son as he sat that the prince would likely expect him to try and call the wedding off at least once. He would do everything in his power to either try and convince Red Son to take back his announcement (he wouldn't be able to) or restrain him to the palace until he could force him to acquiesce.

“I refuse to lie to myself any longer.” He spoke only then, His betrothed's brow raised in curiosity. “I love Xiaotian, I have since long before my parents ever reached out to yours, and I always will.”

If anything this might be an interesting way to see if he's going to play along or not. “If I am forced to marry you in ten days you must understand that on the eleventh I will be dead.” There, if he set the assumed date afterward, then the Prince wouldn't think that he was moving the timetable of his own plans up-

“I could never cause you such greif.” He said after a sigh. “Consider the wedding off.”

He knew this was a ploy, he had a plan of some kind. But Still Red Son felt the tight clamps pressed to his chest loosen at the words being spoken aloud.

“You returned this 'Xiaotian' to his mountain?” The prince turned halfway and Red Son was startled to see the macaque standing in the shadows, he hadn't even seen him when he'd entered!

“I did.”

“Then we'll send a messenger for him.” They wouldn't. They'd sent Xiaotian back to Flower Fruit Mountain no doubt, lest they risked starting conflict with his own army. However Red Son knew the prince had no problems at all lying to him. Any messenger he oversaw a letter being handed off to would likely get out of sight and shred the note to bits before lying low for a time and returning. “But, Beloved, Can you be sure that he'd still take you back?”

The laughter of the demon in his dream echoed in the back of his mind. “What do you mean?”

“I simply mean that, it was you who did the leaving back in the forest.” Red Son couldn't fight back a flinch at the reminder. “And... kidnappers aren't exactly well known to keep their word.” Thankfully he didn't need to fake outrage.

“He didn't kidnap me!”

“Well... then may I suggest a deal?” The prince considered his tea before taking a sip. “How about this; I'll send my four fastest messengers along different routes to your Xiaotian's mountain, and you'll write four separate letters explaining the situation for them to deliver. To decrease the likeliness of the message getting lost due to bandits and the like. Your Xiaotian is sure to receive at least one of them by that. And if he accepts you back, then good fortune to you both.”

The Prince's brow furrowed with worry, and once again he reached out to try and take Red Son's hand. He pulled his hands back. “But if he doesn't, If your love decides this was one betrayal too many, then please at least consider me as an alternative to suicide.”

He was trying to get him to doubt himself, to doubt Xiaotian. Trying to put something like that in the back of his head so he'd be less convicted when he had some notary of some kind fake a letter of rejection.

“Are we agreed?”

“We are.”

He'd be gone in a few days time anyway. And if the prince was right, if Xiaotian did feel rejected and betrayed, and angry, and if he somehow did decide that he didn't want him back...

...then he'd just have to win his heart again. If that were the case it may be difficult, he hadn't exactly gone chasing him all that time ago in the Inn, He wasn't sure if he knew how. But he'd try, whatever it took.

He just had to get out of here first.

–

“You know, now that I've spent a time with the prince, I can see why so many other demon suitors were banging down his door for so long. A mote too angry for my own taste, but even for a more human-looking demon he's not too bad on the eyes.”

“Don't go falling in love with my groom Macaque. I'll not have you ruining my plans.”

“Pff! No worries there, highness.”

“...You know, when I'd hired the Spider Queen and her ilk to kill him on their way to my mountain I thought THAT was a work of genius, but it'll be so much more moving to cut his head off on our wedding night myself I do think.”

“His parents will be furious.”

“Especially once I blame the Monkey King when I send word to them about it! They'll insist on going to war and our combined forces will finally claim that eyesore of a mountain.”

“It's going to be a bloodbath.”

“Which I'm sure YOU'LL enjoy my six-eared friend.”

“Now.. where is that secret knot... damn thing's always changing locations I swear- Ah... Are you coming down? Xiaotian regained his strength, I'm going to be starting him on the machine tonight.”

“Macaque, You know how much I love watching you work; but I've two anniversaries for different alliances to plan the celebrations of, My wedding to arrange, my husband to murder, and the Monkey King to frame for it, I'm swamped!”

“Get some rest my prince. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.”

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.” Jin was mumbling over and over as he and Yin rolled the slab of wood Xiaotian had been strapped to this whole time across the ground, and up against an unmoving water wheel.

“By all means, quit if it upsets you so.” The Six Eared Macaque stated idly, and out of the corner of his eye Xiaotian could see him scribbling something down, some sort of notation.

“He doesn't mean that.” Yin assured his brother as he forced Xiaotian this way and that, tightening leather straps to his chest and head. Hollowed out iron funnels were affixed to small holes in the straps, the cone sides pressed to his skin while the nozzles were being slowly attached to a set of copper tubes. “He'd be without any assistants that can keep their mouths shut without us.”

He couldn't move with these stupid straps all up and down his body—well... he already couldn't move MUCH, but the lack of what little mobility he'd had from there lost further was upsetting.

“Got back to work you miscreants.” The macaque snapped before standing and approaching him. When those eerie purple eyes were peering down at him Xiaotian had the uncanniest of feelings that he was trying to look like the Monkey King. Like some sort of crazy fan that wanted to steal his life or something. No wonder he hadn't realized that Xiaotian was actually disguising himself as such with Sun Wukong's blessing.

“Lovely machine isn't it? Been working on it for a solid century now.” He patted the strange device affectionately, as though it were a beloved pet. “You probably know by now your 'love' isn't the only scientific mind among our kind. But where he's interested in any field of study he can get his hands on I'm more interested in... shall we say... the study of pain.”

“Made my living stealing other people's powers for my own ya see, and it's been fun, but it's maybe getting a bit old too. Because I've been doing that, basically my whole life, and I kinda wanted to change it up. So I decided to see how much I can make someone hurt. I'm still testing this thing out mind you, so...Be honest with how it feels, alright? It's for posterity's sake.

“Now, this being our first try, I'll ease you into it. We'll start on the first setting.”

Xiaotian tensed, steeling himself over for whatever pain would follow.

The Macaque pulled the lever-

The machine whirled to life-

And there was pain.

#Spicynoodleshipping #MK Red Son #Qi Xiaotian #MK Demon Brothers #Six Eared Macaque #Vega writes stories too #Princess Bride AU #red groom au

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years ago

Text

Streetlight

F/M Pairing: OC x Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Warnings: Angst (this is kinda sad at the beginning); fluff; mild language

Genre: Family AU; Haven Sequel; Strangers to Lovers

Word Count: 7.8K

Summary: For a long time, Changbin’s priorities were centered around the need to take care of Y/N and the rest of his adopted family. However, as their dynamic has continued to evolve, he starts to feel like they no longer really need him. So, maybe Changbin feels a little bit lonely these days, but that all changes when he meets a mysterious stranger who wants to take care of him instead.

A/N: Like Haven itself, I really love this one. Special thanks to the anonymous user who requested this! I wish I could tag you.

Whenever Changbin found himself questioning why he was forced to endure the monotony of a 9-5 desk job with no reprieve, including outrageous weekend hours and overtime, he was always reminded of his family and a persistent desire to take care of them. It was a sound justification for putting up with the rude customers who took one look at his superintendent badge and immediately targeted him as the subject of their endless complaints. For example, they might say something like, “The packaging is all wrong!” or, “The shipment label should be 152 instead of 151!” and, his personal favorite, “Do you actually know what you’re doing?”

In those instances, Changbin would paste on his best fake smile and kindly tell those customers that, yes, he did have some inkling of what he was doing, even if he sometimes doubted himself. After all, his job wasn’t that hard, but it was demanding of his time and efforts, and Changbin was rapidly coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t meant for a customer service position. But quitting would mean jeopardizing the success and good-fortune that had befallen his family during recent weeks. It would mean risking their overstock of food and secure funding for Felix’s college classes. It would mean forcing the younger members to work, or exposing Minho to more hours at the warehouse.

That certainly wouldn’t be fair to Y/N who had come to form a very strong dependency on Minho, even if their relationship had been a major shock for the rest of the family when it was first discovered. The circumstances surrounding the revelation weren’t exactly ideal, and Changbin had been a little hurt that Y/N felt the need to hide something like that from him. She had come a long away from the shy pre-teen who would snuggle next to him at night and tell him about her dreams for the future.

His heart would sometimes ache for those days because it was nice to be needed. Changbin had a people-pleasing personality, and he often formed strong bonds with those that he cared about. But his love for Y/N was especially strong, and Changbin wondered if Y/N ever missed those nights when she would crawl into Changbin’s bed and ask him to protect her from those horrible nightmares.

It sometimes made him sad when he realized that Y/N didn’t need him like she used to when she first arrived at the house. In the same way that most of his family members had outgrown their childish stages, maturing into young adults who were starting to become independent. Even Jeongin and Seungmin had reached that stage where they could handle themselves, attending school during the day before coming home and isolating themselves away from the others.

In fact, when he really thought about it, most of his family members would spend the majority of their time according to whatever fascinated their current whims. Thankfully, Chan had decided that Friday nights would remain exclusive, and Changbin might be lucky enough to have Y/N crawl into his lap, or one of the other members cuddle close to his side - where he would like to have them for the rest of their lives because it felt nice to keep them safe.

“Excuse me, young man, but is this really the best you can do on stamps?”

Changbin sighed at the interruption, studying the elderly woman who had disturbed his thoughts. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said. “We don’t sell anything else.”

The old woman scoffed at him before walking away, and Changbin wondered what Y/N might be doing at that moment...

It was late when Changbin found himself trudging down the hallway, ignoring the sound of Jisung whining about how Changbin had bought the wrong kind of snacks. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Jisung, especially when the younger seemed to have forgotten that Changbin took the long way home just to buy those snacks for him in the first place. Instead, Changbin just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep because he had another early shift tomorrow, and it made him feel extremely unmotivated to endure another day of his shitty office job.

In fact, what Changbin really wanted was Y/N, but when he paused outside of the bedroom that she shared with Jeongin and Seungmin, he could hear the sound of laughter coming from the other side. Changbin took a deep breath, cracking the door open just enough to see Minho and Y/N lying in bed together, watching some sort of video on one of the laptops that belonged to the older members. Changbin swallowed hard, closing the door again before he walked up the stairs and found his room at the other end.

He paused for a moment, looking back at the empty staircase, and wondered what the others were doing since nobody else bothered to greet him when he came home except for Jisung. Consequently, there was an unpleasant sensation swimming around his heart, and Changbin tried to ignore it as he walked into his bedroom, shrugging off his jacket before falling into bed still dressed in his work uniform. For a moment, Changbin was perfectly quiet, even while his mind was loud and refused to give him a moment of peace.

But then he eventually identified what those unpleasant feelings really were, and he hadn’t felt it this profoundly since before his own father kicked him out of his house: it was loneliness. Changbin felt alone in a house full of 8 other people, and when the realization finally settled, Changbin felt a stray tear fall down the side of his face. Because it hurts to feel alone.

It was a struggle then, when he glanced at his alarm clock, vision blurry from the salty wetness that continued to steadily leak from the corners of his eyes, and he could barely perceive the time displayed on the screen. Nevertheless, Changbin had been experiencing a lot of trouble falling asleep in recent weeks, and tonight seemed like it would be another restless plight of tossing and turning. But when had this started? Changbin couldn’t really pinpoint the exact moment when his life started to feel like it was falling apart - like he was losing everything that he had once treasured.

Honestly speaking, even before his stupid job, Changbin had felt like shit because Chan was constantly on his ass about staying at home all the time. It wasn’t even his fault, but it felt like Chan was determined to break him - to pressure him so far that he would literally split in half from the constant push and pull. Then again, Changbin had always experienced moments when he felt like there was nothing he could to prevent his most depressing thoughts. Maybe it was really because of his past - his terrible childhood and his rotten excuse for a father who decided that Changbin didn’t deserve his love or affection.

Yeah, maybe he had some daddy issues, but he also had to watch his own mother die when he was eight-years-old. For a while after her death, Changbin felt like there were huge parts of him that was left empty, and it had taken an awfully long time to fill those places again. But his family living with him at their precious Haven helped a lot because he was able to occupy his time with taking care of others. But Changbin had also learned how to put on a mask of indifference and pretend that he was okay when he felt unusually sad. Maybe he had gotten so good at pretending that he had started to fool even himself.

Perhaps it was finally catching up to him.

Changbin shook his head, wiping away the tears as he rolled onto his side. His eyes explored the darkness of his room until they settled on his nightstand where he paused on the little stuffed Munchlax that sat next to his lamp - a gift from Y/N after he had stayed up with her for an entire week when she had the flu. “I’m beary grateful,” she had said, giggling with childish delight when she first offered him the gift.

It seemed inconsequential at the time, but Changbin had always treasured the little gift, and when he brought it next to him in bed, he could pretend like it was Y/N. He could remember the nights when she curled up next to him, sharing secrets that she never told anyone else. He could feel a little bit better when he was feeling down, and Changbin savored the beautiful moment of peace that the stuffed plushy brought him before he closed his eyes to sleep.

The next morning, Changbin slept through his alarm, and there was a small part of him that desperately wanted to just ignore his responsibilities for one day and remain warm beneath his bed sheets. But life had different plans for him, especially with Bang Chan in charge of the house. “Get up,” Chan said, and Changbin grunted when he felt the older pull the sheets into the floor. “I thought you had a morning shift.”

“I do,” Changbin grumbled, and he cursed under his breath when Chan finally left the room.

Changbin sighed when he realized that the potential for more sleep was completely gone, and he was forced to shower and dress himself before walking down the stairs. It was too early for most of the members, but Changbin greeted Chan and Minho as he dropped down into one of the kitchen chairs. “Coffee?” Changbin asked, looking over at Chan.

“Hyunjin broke the damn thing,” Chan said. “We’ll have to wait until this weekend to go shopping.”

“What an asshole,” Minho remarked, and Changbin nodded his agreement.

“We’re making a list,” Chan said. “I get my bonus check tomorrow, and we can decide on what needs to be replaced.”

“The hot water heater should be a priority,” Changbin said. “I only had enough for a ten-minute shower.”

“How long do you need?” Chan asked, and Changbin snorted because he knew that Chan would only agree to make expensive purchases when he decided that they were, indeed, absolutely critical. “What do you think, Minho?”

“Y/N and I usually take showers together,” he said with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows.

Chan immediately voiced his complaints, explaining to Minho that neither he nor Changbin wanted to hear about their exploits. Changbin especially was still not used to hearing Minho or Y/N talk about the explicit parts of their relationship. But Minho was always perfectly willing to share.

“Add condoms to this list,” Minho continued. “We’re almost out.”

“Come on, Minho,” Chan muttered, but he still wrote down the request. “I’ll think about the hot water heater.”

“You two decide,” Changbin said, rising from the table as he grabbed his keys off the counter.

“You’re not going to eat?” Chan asked with a worried tone, but Changbin chose to ignore him as he walked outside onto the porch, inhaling the fresh, morning air before approaching his car.

The old van was unreliable, but Changbin didn’t have much of a choice when it came to his preferred choice of transportation. They were lucky enough to find the van on sale at a price that they could afford, but it was still hard to find used cars these days that satisfied their budget. And Changbin spent ten minutes jostling his keys in the lock before he managed to open the driver’s side door, turning over the ignition three times before the van offered a half-hearted rumble.

On most days, Changbin was forced to cross his fingers that the old van would get him to work and back without falling to pieces. Changbin rolled his eyes at the thought of bringing it up to Chan because the least he could do was allow Changbin to bring it to a mechanic. There was definitely a problem if the check engine light stayed on 24/7.

“Please don’t leave me stranded,” Changbin said, easing backwards out of the driveway before gently navigating the van along the back roads that he had plotted out since he couldn’t handle the highway.

He briefly recalled when he first got the van because it was a “shiny” new toy for the younger members to savor, and both Jeongin and Seungmin used to beg Changbin to take them for rides at night. And he could never refuse them, gliding up and down the roads while playing their favorite music over the terrible sound system. But the younger boys loved those occasions, and they often talked to Changbin about any sort of worries or concerns that plagued their minds.

Like the time Jeongin had a problem with another kid in his class who picked on him for the clothes that he wore. At first, Changbin tried to satisfy Jeongin’s insistence that new clothes would solve everything, and he dug into his savings account to buy him new jeans and shirts. But, of course, the bully only found something else to tease him about, and Changbin couldn’t stand the way Jeongin would start crying when he told him about how much his feelings were hurt. Which is why, on an unforgettable spring morning, Changbin defied Chan’s orders to stay out of it and drove Jeongin to school only to confront the bully in person. Apparently, the kid was so upset by Changbin’s words, that he told the school officials, and Changbin and Chan had to apologize to the kid’s parents for the mishap.

However, that little shit certainly never bothered Jeongin ever again.

Changbin smiled at the recollection. Even if Chan had been furious with him, he had never regretted his actions. It was just one story that he had of many concerning the members of his family, and the lengths he was willing to go to ensure their happiness.

Even at the cost of his own.

“Excuse me, but I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes!”

Changbin sighed, shouldering aside the poor customer service aide who was clearly out of his league trying to help the middle-aged woman who was seconds away from demanding to see the manager. “Hi,” Changbin said, hoping that the frustration that he felt wasn’t evident in his tone. “I’m very sorry, ma’am. Can you tell me what you’re looking for?”

The woman crossed her arms over her chest, cocking out one hip in a posture that clearly screamed privileged. But Changbin didn’t have the authority to throw this woman out for causing a scene inside the post office; instead, he’s forced to listen to her complaints for another ten minutes before he finally offered a compromise that satisfied her audacious demands and allowed him to keep his rational sanity.

“Have a nice day!”

“We’ll see about that,” the woman muttered, and Changbin quickly made the decision to take one of his mandatory breaks even though he only had an hour left on his shift.

“Bitch,” Changbin grumbled, walking into the back room and sitting down on one of the chairs surrounding his office’s snack machine. “Who the hell ate all of the M&M’s?” Changbin whined, and he wondered, not for the first time, if the universe was conspiring against him.

He settled for a candy bar, checking his phone for any messages, but he wasn’t surprised to see that nobody had reached out. The only people who would try to contact him were his family members, but they knew that he was working. But it still made Changbin feel sad for reasons he couldn’t totally figure out, and he didn’t have enough time to wrestle with complex feelings that made him question whether he really wanted to go straight home after work.

However, when his shift finally ended, Changbin was driving down the same backroads that he always endured, shuffling through the three radio stations that the van managed to pick-up including some sort of EDM station, Country Music Today, and the Classical Hits. Yeah, it wasn’t the best selection, and Changbin distinctly remembered having more options when he first bought the stupid thing.

But he also should’ve known that having such negative thoughts would never lead to anything good, and Changbin was already cursing when he felt the van start to shake and refuse to budge over 25-miles-per-hour. Consequently, Changbin was forced to pull over on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere with questionable cell service. “Son of a bitch!” he shouted, slamming his hands against the steering wheel before he opened the door.

At that point, Changbin was fed up with everything, and his emotions were bordering on the edge of volatile as he kicked the driver’s side door, growling when he realized that he had left a dent behind in the metal. “Stupid fucking piece of shit!” he yelled, slamming his hands down on the hood before he unlatched the metal piece keeping the damn thing from flying into his windshield.

Immediately, a huge cloud of smoke erupted in his face, and he failed to waft the offending spray away from his eyes which started to burn as a result. “What the fuck?” he grunted, squinting as he tried to figure out where the smoke was even coming from. He wasn’t a fucking mechanic, and his limited knowledge made him doubt that he should be messing around with the little black lid that, perhaps, had something to do with the engine...

“Are you okay?” a gentle voice inquired from somewhere behind him, and Changbin turned around in surprise.

For a moment, Changbin was rendered speechless, looking the unfamiliar stranger up and down before he realized something quite profound: she was beautiful. “Uh...” Changbin trailed off, pointing at his van. “I broke down.”

“I can try to give you a jump,” she offered, and Changbin nodded his head while the woman smiled. “Has this happened before?”

“Not like this,” Changbin said, watching her return to her own car, and no, Changbin was not staring at her ass.

“It’s probably the radiator,” she explained, wrapping the battery cables around her arm. “But I can look at the engine for you.”

Changbin nodded, watching the kind stranger sit down behind the wheel, attempting to turn over the ignition with no luck. “It’s not the battery,” she said. “Believe it or not.”

Changbin shrugged. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“That’s fine,” she said, giving him one of the most genuine smiles that he had ever seen. “I can help.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Changbin said, and he stood aside to allow her access to the van’s plethora of interesting offerings under the hood.

“My name is Sara by the way,” she said. “I’m a mechanic downtown.”

“Really?”

“My brother actually owns a shop,” she explained. “I can have it towed there for you. Free of charge.”

“F-free?” Changbin stuttered because he knew that those kind of services cost more than a pretty penny, but Sara seemed perfectly indifferent.

“Yeah.” She laughed, raising her arms above her head and exposing a sliver of skin at her stomach. “Is that okay? I can also take you home.”

“Oh!” Changbin remarked like the intellect that he was these days. “There’s no need for that, I can call someone.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, fetching her own phone from a loose pocket. “I’ll call the office and send for the tow truck. My brother does work for pretty low prices, and I think he can save your car for you. As long as you’re okay with that?”

“That would be great!” Changbin said. “I mean, it’s been a while since it’s had anything done.”

Sara nodded, holding out her phone for Changbin. “Just give me your number. We can call you and keep you informed, and we won’t do anything pricey without your permission.”

“Thank you,” Changbin said, quickly adding his phone number under the new contact option. “You’re literally a lifesaver.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she said, leaning against the side of the van. “Do you live around here?”

“Just down the road,” Changbin said, dialing Chan’s number before holding the phone up to his ear. “But, seriously, I’m really grateful for all of this.”

“Please, don’t mention it,” she said. “You looked like you were having a rough day, and I know how that feels. Like, when the whole world seems like it’s falling down around you, the last thing you need is something like this to happen.”

Changbin chuckled, finding himself enamored with the way Sara liked to chew on her bottom lip as if in deep thought. “Yeah,” he said, hearing Chan’s voice reach out to him from the other end. “But it’s not always bad.”

Changbin called Chan to come pick him up after Sara made arrangements with her brother to tow the van to their shop downtown. She smiled at Changbin and reassured him that everything would be handled. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay,” she said, and Changbin didn’t know how to respond to that because it had been a long time since someone wanted to take care of him.

She eventually left after Changbin reassured her that Chan was on his way, but he could still see her lingering around her car until Chan finally pulled over to the side. “Hey! Get in already!”

Changbin closed his eyes, and quickly made himself comfortable in the passenger’s seat after Chan’s embarrassing comment. “Just drive,” Changbin muttered.

Chan obeyed, pulling back onto the road before letting out an irritated sigh. “You said on the phone that you took care of the van,” Chan said. “How much will it cost to have it towed?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing!?”

Changbin smirked. “I met someone who offered to have it towed for free. She’s bringing it to her brother’s shop downtown.”

“A mechanic’s shop?” Chan asked. “We can’t really afford anything outrageous...”

“She said that she would call when they found the problem,” Changbin said. “We don’t have pay anything unless we have the work done.”

Chan scoffed, reaching up to adjust his mirror. “If it’s something to do with the engine, then we might as well have the damn thing sent to the junkyard. We’d have more luck buying something else.”

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed absent-mindedly because he couldn’t stop thinking about Sara. “Did you buy the stupid snacks Jisung asked for?”

“I bought what you sent me,” Chan replied, and he sent Changbin a look that said: if it’s wrong, then it’s your fault!

“Thanks for helping out,” Changbin muttered sarcastically, and he resigned himself to looking out the window for the remainder of the trip home while Chan continued to talk on and on about possible options to replace the van. It wasn’t that Changbin was ignoring him, but he had heard enough about their troubles to last him a lifetime. Chan also liked to take everything to the extreme, and Changbin was usually left to deal with the repercussions.

In any case, the sight of the house was an enormous relief as Changbin all but threw himself out of Chan’s car, escaping another needless lecture. He could see his bedroom window from the front lawn, and he longed to escape to his room and pass out in the quiet darkness. However, Changbin should’ve anticipated that the rest of his family would all be downstairs after catching wind of his incident with the van on the side of the road. And the first person to speak out was Jisung, who called Changbin into the living room, eyes glowing with the reflection of the TV screen.

“I heard the van finally gave out,” Jisung said, sitting up on the couch and dropping the remainder of his potato chips into the floor. “Shit!”

“Jisung!” Chan snapped, propping his hands on his hips like he was some kind of middle-aged mom who was about to reprimand her son. “Clean up that mess!”

“Fine,” Jisung groaned, and he followed Changbin into the kitchen. “Ya! Are these my snacks?” he asked, snatching the bag from across the counter.

“That’s all I’ve been hearing about for an entire week!” Hyunjin remarked, and Changbin realized that the kitchen was almost completely full of his house mates.

Y/N smiled, standing next to Minho as she reached out to tug on Hyunjin’s sleeve. “You’ve been complaining just as much.”

“No, I haven’t!” Hyunjin protested, and Changbin despised how loud it was while he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Especially when Jisung’s displeased whine managed to overwhelm all of the other white noise.

“You brought home the wrong snacks again!” Jisung whined, and Changbin must’ve worn out the last reserves of his patience at the post office and on the side of that stupid back road when he abruptly turned around to confront the younger man.

“Why don’t you drive your own lazy ass to the grocery store and buy whatever the fuck it is that I can’t seem to find!”

“Changbin!” Chan gasped, and there was an immediate silence that followed his outburst as most of the members looked at him with matching expressions of shock.

“I’m tired,” Changbin excused himself, even knowing that it was a lousy thing to say in place of an apology. But he didn’t need to hear Chan speak another word, and hadn’t Changbin endured enough drama for one day?

Instead, Changbin walked upstairs, and he could finally breathe again when he re-discovered the solitude of his bedroom, and there were already tears forming at the corners of his eyes when he collapsed on top of his bed. It had been a while since he really cried, and Changbin rarely showed any kind of weakness around the other members because he was the second oldest - and there was an expectation that he should be strong for everyone else, even when he was screaming on the inside.

But there was only one other person in the entire world who had ever truly seen him break down - and she was standing in the doorway, looking at him with eyes that reflected her understanding. “Changbin?” Y/N whispered, closing the door behind her as she crawled into the bed next to him.

“Yeah?” Changbin murmured because his voice was muffled by the pillows. Even so, Y/N didn’t hesitate to lay down next to him on the bed, pressing herself as close as possible considering the limited space.

“You’re not okay,” she remarked, and Changbin shook his head as one arm wrapped itself around his waist.

“I didn’t mean to snap at Jisung,” Changbin said, and Y/N simply nodded as she held him even tighter.

“It’s not your fault, okay?” Y/N whispered, and Changbin nodded, looking at her fondly while he managed to prop himself up on the bed.

“It was a long fucking day,” Changbin said. “I hate that stupid van.”

Y/N smiled. “At least Chan has no choice but to fix it, right?”

“Or buy something else,” Changbin remarked, and they were both silent for a while. But Changbin didn’t mind the quiet. After all, it was everything that he wanted ever since Chan had picked him up on the side of the road.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Y/N eventually requested, and Changbin’s stomach twisted at the thought of opening up and exposing his darkest feelings - the loneliness that he felt these days, and the stupid reason why he missed having the younger members want something more from him other than cheap snacks.

“I don’t know,” he said, deciding to settle on a different version of the truth. One that still made him look strong without having to reveal the weaknesses clawing away at his insides.

“Well,” Y/N said, “when you figure it out, you can always talk to me.”

Changbin nodded again. “Are you staying with me tonight?”

There was an intolerable level of desperation in his tone that made him wince, but Y/N wasn’t the kind of person who would judge. “Yeah,” she said, rubbing her hand along his stomach. “I’ll be here.”

Changbin sighed because Y/N would never understand just how much those simple words meant to him. Because sleep suddenly came much easier, and Changbin allowed his eyes to close while wrapped around Y/N.

Later on, Changbin woke-up without much warning to an empty feeling in his stomach, and he realized that he had skipped dinner. Subsequently, he managed to make his way downstairs to the kitchen, finding the leftovers from dinner waiting inside the fridge. His stomach growled, and Changbin reached for the bowl, examining the contents inside before he walked over the microwave.

“You want to tell me what your little tantrum was all about?”

Changbin sighed, glancing up at Chan as he stood behind him wearing a familiar scowl. “Not really,” Changbin replied, punching the buttons on the microwave.

“Jisung wanted me to let you know that he’s sorry,” Chan said. “But I don’t know why he’s the one apologizing.”

Changbin shrugged, sliding a hand through his hair while forcing himself to meet Chan’s stern gaze. “What do you want me to say?”

“Is it because of work?” Chan asked. “Do you need to take less hours?”

“No,” Changbin lied, startling when the microwave began to beep in succession. He grabbed his food and held it against his chest. “I don’t really think work is bothering me.”

Chan’s shoulder dropped as his expression softened. “Did Y/N talk to you?”

Changbin nodded. “Look, I’ll apologize to Jisung when I come home tomorrow.”

“He’s sensitive,” Chan said, even though Changbin already knew that. “Did they say when the van would be ready?”

“I think Sara said something about this weekend,” Changbin responded, and he took a bite of his food without really considering what he had just told Chan.

“Sara?”

Changbin winced. “Yeah, the girl who helped me earlier.”

“Ah!” Chan acknowledged. “I guess she made an impression.”

“She was really nice,” Changbin said, and Chan sent him a look that Changbin couldn’t quite decipher. In fact, it almost made the atmosphere between them awkward, and Changbin cleared his throat. “I’m going back upstairs.”

“Okay,” Chan said, and Changbin quickly retreated from the kitchen before he was asked any more questions.

On his next day off, Changbin received a voicemail from Sara that told him the van had been inspected. He was invited to the shop so that he could hear the full report for himself in person. It was a seemingly mundane business exchange, but Changbin found himself bursting with excitement when he walked inside the main office, discovering Sara standing behind the counter.

“Hey,” Changbin said, trying to act cool by stuffing his wandering hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

“The van might not make it,” she replied with an apologetic look. “When’s the last time you had it inspected?”

Changbin cleared his throat, looking at the ground when he shrugged. “I don’t remember.”

It was a sheepish response, and Changbin expected to hear some kind of lecture about the importance of vehicle safety. Instead, she laughed at his disregard, leaning against the wall with a wide smile. “I kinda figured, but that’s okay.”

Changbin drew in his bottom lip, chewing on the raw skin as he thought about something cool to continue their conversation - maybe something that could allow him the rare honor of hearing that beautiful laugh again. “Its not something we prioritized,” Changbin explained.

“We?”

“The people I live with,” Changbin elaborated, studying the interesting way that the sunlight managed to form a halo of sorts around Sara’s soft brown hair.

“Oh? Kinda like housemates?” Sara asked, and she pulled a file from the heavy stack of folders waiting on top of the counter.

“You could say that,” Changbin agreed.

“I think it’s interesting,” Sara told him. “Do you wanna see the van? We can talk about it inside the garage.”

Changbin nodded without hesitation, and Sara led him out the side door which brought them to the attached metal building. It smelled like gasoline and rubber - plus an assortment of other scents that he could only associate with a place like this. And he spotted the van in the very last spot, looking worse for wear with its peeling paint and general abuse.

“So, you definitely need a new radiator,” Sara explained as they paused next to the van. “But I also found a lot of things that need replacing: tires, battery, back-up lights, windshield, and maybe some of the plugs inside...”

“Really?” Changbin asked, and he didn’t need to know a damn thing about cars to understand that all those repairs would cost way too much money.

“I can give you a discount,” Sara said. “I don’t know if it’ll help much.”

Changbin sighed, pulling up the sleeves of his t-shirt as a nervous habit. “I don’t think we can afford it right now.”

“Well, there’s always other options,” Sara said, perfectly understanding. “We actually sell used cars across the road. I’d love to offer you something at a good price. Maybe we could set-up some payment plans to help with your budget.”

Sara may actually be a literal angel, Changbin thought to himself. “Can I see them?”

“Of course,” Sara said. “It’s just across the street, and if you want, we can stop inside the convenience store for some drinks. My treat, of course.”

Changbin looked at her like she had just solved all of the world’s greatest problems. Because he couldn’t remember the last time someone had treated him, nor could he think of a moment in time where he felt the peculiar tugging on his heartstrings. Almost like something completely novel was opening up right in front of his eyes.

“Sure,” Changbin agreed, and that’s how he spent the rest of the day next to Sara’s side, perusing a wide selection of perfectly suitable replacements for the van while talking about anything and everything that had nothing to do with cars or the predicament of Changbin’s financial situation. Instead, Sara surprised him by asking about the things that most people wouldn’t care about - which do you prefer? Long walks on the beach or an overnight stay in a mountain cabin? What do you fear the most? Do you have an opinion on the toxicity of celebrity culture?

That last one surprised Changbin, especially when he realized that Sara was basically a living and breathing genius. It made him realize that they were a lot alike in that regard - judged because of their occupations, but they were actually so much more than what people might perceive. He was only rapidly coming to the conclusion that he really liked Sara. A lot. More than he ever thought possible considering their brief introduction.

Maybe it was some kind of fated connection - the type that everyone wanted to experience. It wasn’t exactly love, but then again, Changbin knew that love could be felt in different ways. For example, the love he had for Y/N wasn’t comparable to these foreign feelings that he only expressed around Sara. In the same way that Changbin’s love for his mother was nothing like what he had for his family members.

Ultimately, Changbin thought that there was, at the very least, a possibility of something with Sara, but was he willing to pursue it? Because this something might take a lot of his time and attention, and would his family be okay if he wasn’t giving them 110% of his effort and dedication? More importantly, was he brave enough to even try? Did he deserve it?

There was too much to think about, and Changbin left Sara at the mechanic’s shop with a simple promise that he would talk to Chan about buying another used car to replace the van. In the meantime, Changbin could only think of one person who might help him sort through these confusing feelings.

Likewise, Changbin made sure that he beat Minho home, finding Y/N in her basement bedroom reading alone. He knocked once on the door, alerting Y/N to his presence. “Hey,” Changbin said.

Y/N smiled. “You were gone a while.”

“There was a lot to discuss,” Changbin said, schooling his expression before meeting Y/N’s gaze. “Will you take a nap with me?”

Y/N glanced up in obvious surprise - because she wasn’t used to hearing Changbin ask for things like this, especially after the revelation of her relationship with Minho. “Okay.”

Changbin was relieved by her easy, and unquestioning, compliance. But that was one of the best things that he liked about Y/N - she always knew when she needed to ask questions versus when the moment called for contemplation. And in this moment, Changbin needed Y/N to have a lot of patience with him, curling up together on their sides as he met her gentle gaze somewhere in the middle.

“I met someone,” Changbin said, looking over at Y/N as she gazed at him with a complete look of understanding. “We’ll, we’ve met before, but today was different.”

“Binnie,” she cooed, leaning in close so that their foreheads were touching. “Do you have a crush on the mechanic?”

Changbin scoffed, moving away while Y/N giggled at the rosy color decorating his cheeks. “I don’t have time for crushes.”

“Why not?” Y/N asked, and her smile was gone in exchange for a far more serious tone.

“I don’t know,” Changbin said. “I’ve got to help take care of the house.”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, and Changbin closed his eyes because he was suddenly exhausted. “Changbin,” she finally said. “I hope you don’t mean that you can’t have someone special in your life just because of us.”

“No,” Changbin said, but there wasn’t much conviction behind that one simple negative, and Y/N definitely knew that he was lying.

“Hey,” Y/N said, forcing their gazes to meet. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Changbin shivered. “Noticed what?”

“You look really sad these days, Changbin,” Y/N whispered. “I don’t know why, but you keep trying to hide it from us.”

Changbin studied the raw intensity in Y/N’s gaze, and it was a powerful force - capable of knocking down all those cruel walls that he had built around himself. “I just want to keep you safe,” he said, feeling the promise of tears sting the raw skin around his eyelids. “But nobody really needs me anymore.”

“Changbin,” Y/N said, but it was just a simple intonation of his name, free of judgement. It said so much with so little, and it let him know that Y/N was shocked by Changbin’s confession, but she wanted him to elaborate and explain himself without interruption.

“For most of my life,” Changbin said. “I was pushed aside and treated like shit. It happened with my father, and I’ve had to face criticism from my bosses and those assholes I lived with before coming here.”

Changbin sighed, closing his eyes. “I just wanted to be accepted, and I never felt that until Chan let me stick around. Instead of being pushed away, everyone welcomed me with open arms, and they genuinely liked having me around because they needed me. I didn’t even have to pretend to be someone better.”

Y/N nodded - her only acknowledgement - before Changbin continued. “I knew you guys would grow up one day, but it started to feel like I wasn’t really needed anymore. I guess it might sound stupid, but I really do feel lonely sometimes when I come home from my shitty job and there’s nobody around to really say anything.”

And there it was - his true and honest feelings were exposed for Y/N, and he laid perfectly still as she ensured that he was finally finished with all that baggage that he had been carrying around on his shoulders. “Binnie,” Y/N finally said. “I’m sorry that you felt that way because you don’t deserve it, and I would never invalidate your feelings and tell you that you had no reason to feel a certain way. It actually makes sense to me, which is why I’m really glad you said something. Because you like to keep your feelings bottled inside, and I hate to see you suffer when you do.”

She sighed, reaching for his hand to connect their fingers. “Just because we’ve grown up,” Y/N said, “it doesn’t mean that you suddenly matter less. I mean, without you, we wouldn’t be this happy, and you contribute so much to that happiness. And I’m not just talking about your job.”

Changbin swallowed, placing his hand over his chest because his heart was suddenly beating so fast. “I miss the people that I live with,” he said. “How is that possible?”

“You’re feelings don’t have to make sense,” Y/N said. “But they matter because it’s you, and I want to do everything to help, and I’m sure the others would feel the exact same way.”

Changbin nodded, slowly, and he wasn’t sure what to make of all those feelings just sitting out there - raw and vulnerable, but he was also quite certain that he could trust Y/N. “I’ve never felt like this while living here,” Changbin said. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Let’s just start by talking like this whenever we have problems,” Y/N whispered. “You might think I’m pushing you away, but you’re still one of the only people who understands everything that I went though before I came here. Nobody can replace the level of comfort I feel with you.”

Y/N’s words were heavy, but not in a suffocating kind of way. Instead, it felt like a warm embrace, and Changbin just managed to hold back his tears at the sincere expression. “Thank you, Y/N,” Changbin finally said. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

“I might know something,” Y/N said, and her voice suddenly took on a teasing tone. “Is she pretty?” Y/N asked, and Changbin couldn’t fight his smile.

“She’s beautiful,” Changbin said, and Y/N laughed with her usual playful inflection as she leaned in closer.

“We could go on double dates,” Y/N whispered, and Changbin laughed at the innocent smile stretching the corners of her lips. “But, seriously? Don’t hide these feelings from any of us, Changbin. We all care about you, and maybe it’s time we return the favor after all those years of letting you protect us.”

Changbin nodded - it was all that he could manage. “That might be nice.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed. “I think so too.”

And then they were both quiet after that - resigned to these new and confusing feelings. But they had each other to figure them out, and that was enough for Changbin to feel completely unburdened.

Changbin called Sara on a Sunday afternoon - the only day of the week when he wasn’t required to work at the post office. He knew that the mechanic shop was closed, but Sara was perfectly willing to meet him. “I think we’re interested in the SUV,” Changbin told her over the phone, and Sara was just fine scheduling an appointment.

That was over an hour ago, and Changbin hesitated at the sight of Sara waiting near the entrance to the main office. Because, unlike what he suggested over the phone, there was something else that Changbin planned to ask her, and it was scary to think about what might happen. Especially if she told him no.

But Changbin was an adult, and he didn’t plan to spend all day cowering in Chan’s car, so he met Sana outside with a smile that he hoped wouldn’t give away his nervousness. “Hi,” Changbin said, holding up a hand in greeting.

“There you are,” Sara said, and she looked nothing short of elegant in her dress pants and blouse - like she had gotten all dressed up for this occasion. “Are you ready?”

Changbin nodded, and he spent the time that it took for them to make their way across the street to reorganize the chaos of his rampant thoughts. Meanwhile, Sara had grabbed the keys to the SUV that he wanted to buy, and she was busy opening all the doors to air out the stuffy interior. “It’s fairly updated,” she told him, demonstrating the power windows and bluetooth radio system. “What do you think?”

“It’s better than the van,” Changbin admitted, and it was nice that there weren’t stains all other the leather upholstery.

“I think it’ll make a worthy substitute,” Sara agreed. “We’re selling it for $4,500, but I’m willing to negotiate the price, especially for you.”

Changbin glanced up at that because his heart had skipped several beats at the idea of Sara doing something for him. “It would really help us out,” Changbin said. “You’ve been amazing considering everything that’s happened.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell that you’re worth the extra effort,” Sara said, and Changbin couldn’t believe his ears because it sounded too good to be true. Almost like Sara was flirting with him.

But maybe this was the opening that he had been looking for...

“I’d really like to make it up to you,” Changbin said, and he hoped that those words sounded sincere instead of something akin to a business deal.

“Really?” Sara asked, flashing him a warm smile. “What do you mean?”

“If you want,” Changbin said, pausing for a moment to exhale. “I’d like to take you out sometime.”

“Oh?” she grinned, leaning against the SUV next to him, and Changbin could feel her soft breath since they were suddenly very close together.

“I’d really like that,” Sara replied, and Changbin’s shoulders fell at his relief upon hearing her confirmation.

“Are you sure?” Changbin asked because he was always doubting himself. “I mean, you don’t have to-”

“Changbin,” Sara interrupted, taking another step closer to the point where it felt like they were sharing the same air. “I want to be with you, and I’m glad that you asked me because I don’t want this to be nothing more than a mechanic helping out a customer. Do you understand?”

Of course, he did, but that didn’t stop Changbin’s stomach from doing somersaults while he desperately tried to compose himself. “How do you feel about double dates?”

Sana laughed at that, and, for the first time since before he could remember, Changbin felt completely at ease.

#stayverse #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #skz #skz fanfic #stray kids changbin #stray kids changbin fanfic #seo changbin #seo changbin fanfic #seo changbin fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids writer

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writtenonreceipts · 4 years ago

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Meant to post this a long time ago...found it tucked away in my folders from YEARS ago...a Jily fic that I had too much fun writing even though its kinda terrible...

Third Year-Early October

At one o’clock in the morning Lily Evans’ eyes snapped open and refused to droop shut. She moaned and flopped onto her side. Of all the things that annoyed her most in the world being awake at unholy hours of the morning was at the top of the list.

Changing positions again she listened to the heavy breathing of Mary McDonald on the right, Marlene McKinnon’s rather loud snores to the left, and Dorcas Meadows dead center. Poor Mary was trying to battle a cold and she was losing. And Marlene’s nasal passages would never be the same since Sirius Black “accidentally” wacked her with a bludger bat at the start of the year. Dorcas insisted on continuing a practice of deep breathing exercises as it would help with remains in a deep slumber all night. Alice Fortescue was the only one who was quiet in her sleeping habits. Besides the occasional round of sleep walking. They once awoke to her trying to crawl into bed with Mary insisting it was essential to “snuggle.”

Unexpectedly, Lily’s stomach gave a small groan. She tried to ignore it knowing for a fact that an entire basket of rolls disappeared at dinner because of her lack of self-control. In her defense, however, the spiced apple butter was divine that evening. There was no way she could be hungry. It was just a protest of the awful subjection she had put her body through; it had to be.

Flopping onto her belly, Lily tried to get comfortable. Usually, she had no trouble with falling asleep. Her bed was always the perfect balance of firmness to squishiness. Keeping her eyes closed she attempted to use Marlene’s snores as a sort of white noise to lull back to sleep with.

Her stomach growled again.

This was ridiculous.

Shoving off her blankets, Lily eased out of bed, her feet hurriedly finding her slippers so they wouldn’t have to touch the cold floor. Holy hippogryphs the room was freezing. Groping around at the foot of her bed for her robe, Lily pulled it on and crept to the door. Making sure her wand was tucked in her pocket, she glanced back at her roommates to make sure she hadn’t disturbed them. After less than a minute, their usual sleep noises commenced unaltered. Alice muttered something about her love of toads, but that was normal.

Slipping down the stairs to the Common Room, Lily hoped there were no other students still awake. Thankfully as she descended the stairs she could hear nothing but the usual night sounds of the castle. Outside the wind bristled sharply. It seemed to mold with the castle as it blew but that didn’t stop it from pounding against Gryffindor Tower.

Shivering unconsciously, Lily pulled her robe tighter around her slender frame. The movement caused her hair flopped in her face. Scowling to herself for not grabbing a tie for her hair she entered the Common Room. It was always a bit eerie to see it so empty. Only a few torches were lit, just enough that she could see a few lone books were scattered here and there, an abandoned sock, a quill. Just the usual. Amazingly enough Gryffindor’s were somewhat neat. Though she couldn’t see what was stuffed between cushions or stacked on the back tables by the windows.

Settling down on the armchair closest to the fireplace Lily sighed and breathed in the lingering scent of smoke. The other students must have called it an early night, there wasn’t a bit of heat coming from the fireplace. Sighing, Lily snuggled into the chair and thought of home. They had a fireplace. A real one. Dad would have to go out and buy wood off someone so they’d have enough when it got cold in the winter. Once they went out as a family to cut down firewood. That was before Hogwarts. Before Lily was different. Her chest constricted painfully in thinking back. She missed those days. It was when Petunia still called her a friend and gave her presents for silly reasons. Now . . .

The thought came with such suddenness that her heart beat painfully in her chest. Usually she could keep these thoughts at bay. Sure, she missed home, but she couldn’t stand lingering on the emptiness that it made her feel, so, instead she pushed those thoughts away. It was getting easier now. Petunia had recently learned the art of swearing. And swearing methodically so Mum and Dad didn’t get mad at her. It was fine, Lily justified. Petunia was just stubborn.

Her stomach grumbled again.

“Oh for Agrippa’s sake,” she said under her breath. Sure, she was a thirteen-year-old witch that was having a growth spurt, but being this hungry this early in the morning was ridiculous. Glancing around the room she tried to locate a stray candy or maybe someone had left their bag with a snack inside. No such luck.

She could find the Kitchens. Lily could feel her eyes widen at her own thought.

But it’s after curfew.

You don’t even know where the Kitchens are.

And it’s really dark in the castle. What are you? Five?

Having almost made up her mind to just die of starvation up in her bed a loud scrape caused her to jump. Pulling her knees into her chest, Lily glanced around. You are fine. Calm down. There’s probably a bat outside or something. Something scuffled noisily. That was definitely from inside the tower. Perking up Lily did her best to hone in on the sound. Her stomach rumbled again. Quickly the patter of feet ran down the stairs from the boys’ dorms. Peaking over the top of the chair Lily couldn’t help the audible groan escape her lips.

“Potter.”

Yelping in surprise the boy with unruly hair and crooked glasses locked eyes with her.

“Evans?” He whispered loudly.

“No, it’s McGonagall,” Lily snapped, a scowl seemed permanently forced on her face whenever she was around him. But, curiosity couldn’t keep her at bay as to why he was awake. Sitting up on her knees to face him, Lily crossed her arms. “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he responded. He crossed his own arms and glared at her with the same malice she was sure was in her own eyes. The torch just by the stairwell reflected sharply off his glasses, but Lily could catch a small smirk playing on the edge of his lips.

Sighing Lily pulled on an ear lobe. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” he said. His pajamas were mismatched and too small. She caught the pattern of a Quidditch player across his chest and snitches splattered everywhere else charmed to fly around. There was a little skin exposed between the edge of the shirt and the bottoms, which hung at least two inches above his ankles.

They were quiet for a few moments until James cleared his throat. “Sorry about turning your hair blue.”

Lily’s scowl returned. “If you were sorry you wouldn’t even have been aiming your wand at my head in the first place.”

“Accident,” James sputtered, Lily could see color springing up on his cheeks. “I was aiming for Sirius.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Ah well,” the boy replied, his cheeky arrogance returning as though it had never left. He took a few steps toward the Portrait Hole. “I gotta go find chocolate for Remus.”

“Didn’t he go home for the weekend?” Lily asked scrunching her nose. She could have sworn she saw Professor McGonagall escorting him from the Common Room earlier that afternoon.

“It’s for when he gets back, obviously,” James rolled his eyes. His glasses slipped down his nose

Harrumphing, Lily climbed off the chair and walked over to her classmate. He’d gotten taller over the summer and throughout the start of term. Most of his robes hung at least two inches above his ankles, just like his pajamas. He easily stood a head over her. She did not like this new development.

“Where do you plan on finding said chocolate?” She asked trying not to sound hesitant. She couldn’t believe that she was going to him for help with her hunger issue. “There’s none left sitting out, I-I checked.”

He let out a laugh, mirthful and amused. “Wanting to snatch from other’s things there Evans? For shame. But, as fun as that would be, there is a lovely place called The Kitchens that would have everything a hungry stomach could want.”

“Who said I was hungry?” She almost shrieked. But just then (of course it was then) her stomach let loose another growl that could have given a dragon a run for its money.

Grinning James gestured to the Portrait hole. “After you my fine red-headed accomplice.”

“It’s after curfew,” she reminded him, ignoring the fact that barely ten minutes ago she was about to head out into the castle herself.

James shrugged. “All the more fun.” His dark eyes glinted at the prospect.

Don’t do it, a voice that sounded a lot like Mary said in the back of her head.

If it means chocolate, Marlene’s rational butted in. Plus Potter is decently fit. Even with that bare bit of skin you saw, no fat there. Shut up Marlene. Although technically that was Lily’s own consciousness.

“Bah,” she said aloud and tossed her hands up. “Fine. But if we get caught, I have a wild imagination and I will pin everything on you.”

“That’s the Marauder spirit,” James grinned a hand running through his hair.

“No.”

“What?”

“Don’t you dare call me a Marauder, or your accomplice, or fine for that matter.”

Pouting James made a pleading motion. “Just for tonight, our little secret.”

“No.” She said again. “I will change my mind about coming with you.”

Her stomach did not agree with that announcement.

“You’re going to wake up half the castle unless you eat, Merlin, Evans,” he grinned cheekily.

Pulling her wand on him, Lily glared him down. “I will use this.”

He pushed his glasses up his nose and gestured for the Portrait. “C’mon, or else Sirius will get up, see I’m gone, and try to come with us. Than we really will get caught.”

Pulling at her bathrobe Lily gave a look over her shoulder back at the staircase that led up to her nice warm bed. Another feeling of doubt came over her. James made an annoyed sound and practically stomped his foot. He would never let her forget if she didn’t go with him. Tying her robe closed (oh Merlin it was her ratty old one with singes all over it after a mishap last summer involving Petunia, muggle garden gnomes, sparklers, and an innocent by standing cat). With as much dignity as she could muster, Lily marched in front of James and out of the Common Room.

It was strange seeing the corridor like this; void of students milling about and very few torches to light the way. Lily felt a bit of awe at this new perspective of the castle. When the Fat Lady swung shut behind her Lily turned to face Potter. He had a look of expectancy about him. That or he’d just realized he needed to use the loo.

“Well?” Lily asked crossing her arms.

“Well, what?” James scrunched his nose confused.

“The Kitchens!” Lily hissed. It took all her effort not to scream at him.

His eyes widened and he bobbed his head a few times. Lily started a list in her head of how she could kill him, or get him expelled. “Ah, yes. Evans, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I lied to you about knowing where the Kitchens are.”

She stared at him blankly. He scratched his nose. Pursing her lips, Lily got to number ten on her list (less than a minute, that had to be a record). It was especially special seeing as it would both kill him and get him expelled. Alas, she had no way of getting a chainsaw into Hogwarts.

They stayed like that for a few moments longer until Lily punched his shoulder as hard as she could. He squawked in surprise leaping to the side.

“Careful Potter or you’ll wake up the whole castle,” she mimicked looking up to the Fat Lady…who was noticeably absent from her portrait. For the love of Gryffindor.

“Oh dear, that’s terribly awkward,” James said mildly. He didn’t sound the least bit concerned about the predicament, nor very keen to find a solution.

Trembling with a mix of rage and annoyance Lily rounded on him. She felt like she could burst into tears at his stupidity. Never mind hers. It was his fault. He had dragged her into this. “Fix it.”

“Unfortunately there’s not much to do,” James shrugged. He pulled his wand from his pajamas pocket and cast Lumos. “May as well explore, shan’t we?”

Shaking her head quickly, and rather violently, Lily’s hands balled into fists. “I am not going anywhere with you, you, you pigheaded toerag!”

Her goads only caused a grin to spread across his face. In the light of his wand the expression was frightening; in the sense that it looked impish and overly pleased at the situation. Before he could say anything, a noise sounded down the corridor and the undeniable yowl of a cat.

“Please tell me that was Elvendork,” James said frantically waving his wand around.

“Who in the world is Elvendork?” Lily asked as she tried prying on the Portrait Hole praying to whoever would listen that it would open.

“Your cat.”

“My cat’s name is not Elvendork. Besides that’s a name for a male cat, mine’s a girl.”

“Elvendork is a perfectly unisex name.”

“Potter.”

“C’mon, if that was Mrs. Norris, Filch’ll be just behind her.” Without waiting for a response, James grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled down the corridor and through a hallway she wasn’t familiar with.

Losing track of the turns and stairwells they took, Lily felt as though her lungs would explode. Finally, James came to a stop. Dropping her hand, he glanced around the new corridor they found themselves in. Doubling over Lily gasped for breath clutching her midsection. Running on an empty stomach was not a good idea.

“Where are we?” she asked him as soon as a bit of air returned to her lungs. Not answering, James held his wand up and examined the corridor, there were many pictures clamoring about despite the late hour, even fewer torches graced the walls, and a distinct cold draft made Lily regret not putting socks on with her slippers.

“I don’t know,” the black-haired miscreant murmured. He continued muttering under his breath, examined the portraits and pressed his nose up against a window to get a view outside. “Ah. Fourth floor it seems. North end, I do believe the Hufflepuff Common Room is somewhere around here. Interesting. I didn’t know this hall existed. Evans, do you have bit of parchment?”

Still breathing heavily (which was an utter embarrassment seeing as he was doing just fine) Lily glared at him in a way that she hoped would emulate the effects of a Rash Growing Hex.

“And maybe a quill?” He ignored her heated glare and continued to look about, memorizing the corridor.

“I do not have any of those items I’m afraid,” Lily said combing her hair back as best she could. “And you are mistaken as to where we are, Hufflepuff’s Common Room is down near the first floor and dungeons.”

James’ eagerness fell. “Oh. But—I thought. . . Oh well. That’s disappointing. I heard their Common Room is right next to the Kitchens.”

Yanking her hands free of her bedhead hair Lily gave James a pointed look. “You heard the Hufflepuff Common Room is right next to the Kitchens?”

“Yes, that’s what I just—oh, I see,” James nodded slowly and rubbed his chin. “Well, as long as that’s sorted out, can we check out this corridor a bit more?”

“I hate boys.” The redhead while pacing in front of a dreadful depiction of Salazar Slytherin (a Gryffindor probably had a good time with that one). “No Potter we will not check out the corridor! Filch or Slughorn or McGonagall- McGonagall. Oh Merlin she will expel us for sure.”

“Relax Evans,” James drawled as he peaked around a statue. “We just tell her you were hungry. She can’t be mad at you for that. Aren’t you the one who is always saying that being honest is the best quality one can have?”

“Yes, I’m sure McGonagall we take you seriously and believe you were helping me find the Kitchens,” Lily muttered under her breath. James had already lost interest with her worrying and seemed intent on memorizing the layout of the corridor and where they were in relation to the ground. “Potter! Can we focus on the one task at hand and get me some food?”

“I need to focus?” He yelled incredulously. Ignoring Lily’s screech to “shut-up before someone hears,” and brilliantly dodging her swats, James shook a finger at her. “Which do you want Evans? Food or to not be caught?”

“You are insufferable.”

“I do try,” he said with a wink.

Lily blanched. Holy hippogriff I need to get out of here. Deciding that it would be better to fend for herself in the dark castle, even if she still got lost rather easily while navigating around, Lily turned on her heel and headed back in the direction they came from.

“Not that way!” James hissed lunging for her just at the same time another voice broke out at the opposite end of the corridor.

“Minerva I’m telling you, there are students out of bed,” the wheezened voice of Filch echoed down the hall.

“I’ve just come down this way not fifteen minutes ago,” McGonagall’s crisp voice came shortly after, and it was growing closer.

Lily didn’t need James to pull her back, she was already scrambling that way, yanking on the collar of his shirt. They collided roughly with a pillar, but neither made a sound, they only waited anxiously as the footsteps of the Professor and Caretaker came closer. When James tried to speak, Lily shushed him angrily.

“At least wait until after Halloween feast to kill me,” he was leaning to close into her as they tried to be as small as possible, “it’s always the best.”

It didn’t merit a response. Lily instead continued her list on possible death accidents that could occur in the castle. If that draft would just stop chilling her to the bones. Her thoughts stopped. James continued lamenting the loss of sweets and turkey he would miss out on if she killed him that night.

Smothering him with a hand Lily pressed her lips against his ear. “There’s a draft, it has to be a secret passageway.”

Immediately the boy leaped forward, slightly amazed at how quiet he was, Lily could only watch him lean against the wall, tapping it gently with his wand. With her heart pounding in her chest Lily couldn’t bring herself to move. A sudden rush of air caught her attention.

“Evans, get over here,” James whispered. Not needing to be told twice Lily spun around and had only enough time to realize that James Potter had managed to open a towering entry way in the corridor without much more that a huge gust of air.

“What?” Lily squeaked out.

“Admire my handiwork later, get in!” James responded pushing Lily into the secret passage. Stumbling forward Lily plunged into the darkness. Behind her James muttered a spell and the stone wall closed soundlessly.

Neither said anything, neither moved. After a moment, Lily realized she was holding her breath and very slowly released it. Stale air greeted her lungs on the inhale and it took all her effort not to break out in fits of coughs with the dust that coated the inside of her mouth. It was nasty, even worse than when she had to help clean out her aunt’s attic after she died.

The sound of James’ shuffling feet made her turn, though the passage was a smothering sort of black that Lily didn’t think her eyes would ever be able to see again.

“McGonagall’s yelling at Filch for getting her out of bed for no reason, it’s fantastic,” James sniggered from beside her. “Well, hope you aren’t scared of the dark Evans.”

“Lumos.”

“Ah, yes.”

Sometimes Lily wondered if James was more interested in the reactions he garnered from others than taking care to watch what he said.

In silence Lily led the way down the passage. It was a good thing her mouth was so full of dust and other disgusting tastes otherwise she would have hexed him then and there. The light from Lily’s wand was enough so they could avoid tripping in cracks and large rocks in the way. James remained several steps behind examining the passage as they went. He muttered under his breath but Lily was never able to catch any of it.

As they walked Lily could see changes in the structure of the walls, there were parts that seemed quite old, especially as they traveled farther down. Most of the rock and stone used in the construction was different than that of the rest of the castle. Granted the were walking inside the walls. How had she not known this existed? It was a magical castle founded by witches and wizards.

Suddenly, James began chuckling to himself. Pointing her wand in his direction, Lily raised an eyebrow. “What? Did you come up with another pun to make out of the naming of the planets? Or better yet another cruel name to call Dorcas?”

“Technically, Sirius was the mastermind behind both of those items,” James said quickly ducking out of the glow of her wand. “I’m not that cruel.”

“I beg to differ,” Lily muttered so quietly she wasn’t sure he even heard. Clearing her throat, she cast her gaze forward. “Then what is so amusing?”

A hand immediately went into his hair, both continuing to scruff it up and shaking out mounds of dust that he’d collected on their journey. “I just never thought I would be able to get the Great Lily Evans to break the rules.”

“Oh, I’m not breaking the rules,” Lily replied. “I have a perfectly good reason to be out of bed. It is completely unethical to starve a student; therefore, I should be allowed to find food in a desperate situation. There’s an exception that allows the rule breaking.”

Yawning loudly, and not at all convincingly, James cut her off. “All I heard is, “I am Lily Evans, I know the difference between brewing a Pepper-Up potion and a Sleeping Draught. Therefore, I can do whatever I want.’”

“I do not sound like that,” Lily scowled at him. “And that is not what I think about myself.”

“Whatever you say Evans,” he shrugged. “Besides, there is a flaw to your plan; if caught you would be caught with me, and no one would believe your innocence then. I am the anti-alibi.”

He seemed so proud of himself for the reputation he’d received, that Lily almost wanted to admit defeat. Almost. “Well, of course I’ve taken that into consideration. I would just throw you under the bus.”

“What?” Rather confused at the phrase James looked head on into the light emanating from Lily’s wand. “Gah!”

Pleased on both accounts of his outburst, Lily chuckled and lowered her wand. Only a little. “It’s a colloquialism Potter, a phrase. Like, “throw you to the wolves.” Just that I’d let you take the blame.”

“Throw me to the wolves all you like,” replied the young man with a smirk. “I’d fair rather well.”

There was deeper meaning to that, Lily was sure, but she wasn’t sure she actually wanted to know it. “Anyway, as you said, no one actually believes you would be innocent in anything mischievous. Thus, if we were to be caught, I would merely be seen as an innocent bystander.”

“You know,” James said as they followed a bend in the old corridor. “It seems to me a miracle that those girls spend time with you. Is this how you treat everyone suck the fun out of them like a dementor?”

The words hit her with such a force that Lily had to stop walking. A shudder rippled through her body and she felt it clamp down on her heart, squeezing it like a wet rag. He didn’t know it, but it that moment all Lily could see was her sister Petunia standing in the kitchen only setting three placemats on the table, telling Lily that a freak like her was sure to suck the life out of the room. It happened the night before she left for school, and she hadn’t wanted to cry about it, until now.

Potter had made it a decent ways down the corridor before he was about to leave the light of the wand. After he realized that Lily was no longer walking behind him, the young boy glanced around and finally saw her standing back, a deep frown etched on her face, her wand arm lowering bit by bit, as well as the light. Without saying anything, she narrowed her eyes at him and turned on her heel.

“Evans, c’mon!” James called after her. He fumbled for his own wand and tried to light his way, stubbing his toe on an uprooted tile, he cursed and swore as he tried to catch up to the other Gryffindor. “You aren’t seriously mad?”

Lily whirled around to face him with such force, the boy had to scramble back to be clear of smacking into her. “What does it look like Potter?”

“You are mad,” he said quietly.

It was in that moment Lily realized that he had never actually had anyone be mad at him before. Sure, she would see and his mates have scuffles, but nothing like the way Lily projecting towards him in this moment. In a way, she could pity him. But the way he oozed confidence even now in the full fury of her angry gaze drove that thought right out of her head just as soon as she thought it.

“Yes, I am. You called me a dementor! I don’t know how thing usually work in your fancy little pureblood world, but calling people names like that is rude and doesn’t do well to make friends. And yes, I am mad. Mad enough to say that you belong in Slytherin.”

They both stared at each other for a long time. Lily’s chest rose and fell and the fury built up within her, she could feel her fingers tighten with rage around her wand. Potter scowled at her, his lips twitching as he tried to think of something to say.

Shoving his glasses up his nose he crossed his arms. “You create an interesting paradox there, Evans. Based on the way you value friendship, if I were in Slytherin, you and I would be quite chummy wouldn’t we?”

Deciding that his comment didn’t merit a response, Lily turned away from him with such fury that she almost lost her balance.

“Evans,” Potter tried again. “The corridor ends just up here, I promise. C’mon.”

It took a moment before Lily turned around and slowly made her way to where he was. She kept her mouth firmly shut. True to his word after a few dozen steps, they came to the end of the corridor. Stepping forward, the young Marauder placed his wand against the stonework, a moment passed before the stone began moving in a slow way, silently easing open to a decent sized crack they would easily be able to pass through.

Lily passed through first and stepped out into what certainly looked like it was near the dungeons. The torches were always larger and closer together in the dungeons. There was always more of a distinct draft.

“Excellent,” James said coming up behind Lily. “I know just where we are.”

Pointing her wand and the newly formed escape route, Lily closed the way off and glanced down the hall. “Which way?”

“I thought we weren’t speaking to each other?” James replied mildly as he took his glasses of and buffed them on his shirt. “Seeing as how I am a Slytherin.”

Unable to look at him, whether out of guilt or annoyance, Lily wasn’t sure. She pointed down one way and decided to take the shot. “Seeing as how you’ve been little to no help tonight.”

“I literally opened a wall and saved us from Filch and McGonagall. All without throwing you under a bus as you say it.”

“Yes, you’ve been so helpful,” Lily said as she began walking. While they weren’t in the complete bowels of the dungeons, Lily still felt unease as they walked. It was always down here that she’d had bad experiences with Slytherin’s, and it was down here she highly doubted any professor would show mercy for students being out of bed. Even if they were hungry.

“You’re being sarcastic,” James scowled from beside her.

“You’ve finally understood the meaning of the red hair.” Lily laughed dryly. She shook her head, lips pursed as she considered what to say. “Honestly Potter, you got me locked out of Gryffindor Tower, dragged me around the castle on the run from Filch. And you haven’t delivered on your promise of getting me food.”

“I didn’t coerce you to do anything,” James reminded her. “You left the Tower of your own free will.”

“You still haven’t gotten me any food.”

James laughed running a hand up to his hair. Rolling her eyes Lily wondered why he always did that. She hadn’t noticed it until the start of this year really.

“If my sense of direction is correct, which it is, we should be nearing the kitchens on the left.” James finally took off down the corridor leaving Lily to sprint after him. Her feet were too loud for her liking upon the cold stone floors.

“What are we looking for?” She asked when she reached him again. James gave her a side look, eyebrow quirked. “Oh please, it’s Hogwarts, there’s got to be a strange magical way to get into the kitchens.”

James snorted, shaking his head muttering something under his breathe, Lily caught something along the lines of “too damn smart.” Aloud he acknowledges her observation. “Right you are my dear—” he dodged a swat from her, “rumor has it that there is a portrait we are looking for.”

“What kind of portrait?” she asked. There were plenty lining the walls, many of figures she didn’t recognize, most were asleep.

“It’s the Kitchens, take a wild guess.”

“See, this is why no one likes you,” Lily muttered looking down a corridor that branched off. She expected to see Filch teetering down at any minute wagging a craggily old finger at them.

“Oi!” James squawked offended. “There are plenty of people who like me.”

“Oh yes, your mother, of course.” They were coming up on a large painting, stretching at least twelve feet up the wall. It was a giant fruit basket. Lily stopped and stared at it, slightly amused. It couldn’t be could it?

“I think we have a winner,” James announced standing beside her. He aimed his wand at the portrait, nothing. “Oh come on then!”

Lily’s stomach grumbled. Scowling at James she tapped a foot. “Well Mister High Adventurer?”

“Get your stomach under wraps, Evans.” James returned the scowl. “I don’t see you helping out.”

“You assured me that that you could get me food, so I assume you can figure this out on your own,” Lily tucked her hair over one shoulder, her fingers catching in some knots.

“I take that as a compliment.”

“How on earth is that a compliment?”

“You said I could figure out how to break into a top-secret lair. Blimey Evans, it’s like being called Merlin himself.”

“I would hardly call the kitchens a top-secret lair, and that in no way relates to being Merlin or anything else of higher power. You’re a pigmy puff in comparison.”

“Hey!”

“Shush!” Lily pointed a finger at him, glaring menacingly. “Hurry up we’ve been out here—”

There suddenly came the high-pitched yowl of a cat. James and Lily froze glanced at one another and then down the corridor. Sitting beneath a torch was a cat. A rather fat cat.

“Elvendork really needs to go on a diet Evans,” James whispered, though Lily could hear a twitch in his voice.

“For the last time, my cat’s name is not Elvendork,” Lily snapped back. Her heart beat out of her chest with great anxiety. “And that is not my cat.”

“STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF BED!” Peeves the Poltergeist came swinging down the corridor screaming at the top of his . . . lungs? He technically wasn’t a ghost, nor was he alive so he couldn’t have lungs, could he? Lily didn’t have time to think about the actual answer as James pulled her down the hall.

“Now’s not the time to day dream Evans!”

“I wasn’t,” she began to argue back, but lost her words as James took her hand tightly in his own to guide her through the castle.

Peeves, somewhere behind them continued to make a ruckus, Mrs. Norris meowed again, too close for Lily’s comfort. Losing track of where they were, James finally came to a stop in front of a wall that somehow looked familiar.

Waving his wand, James breathed heavily as the wall moved reveling a doorway. “This’ll take you back to where McGonagall and Filch nearly had us. They’re going to be coming down here any minute so you should have a clear shot to the Common Room.”

“Lumos, what are you going to do?” Lily asked. It wasn’t as though she wasn’t entirely concerned for his safety or well-being, but she really didn’t want to slink through the walls of the castle on her own.

“Remus really likes chocolate,” James winked in the flickering torch like and pushed Lily into the secret passageway. Right behind her the wall quickly replaced itself.

“I’m still hungry!” She shouted even if he wouldn’t hear her. Bloody Potter. Oh she would murder him. She thought of her list from earlier as she began walking. Without realizing it, she was talking to herself. “Oh yes, perhaps a sledgehammer. Combined with the giant squid that’d work wonderfully.”

Moving quickly Lily found herself at the other end of the passage in no time. Carefully she eased out of the wall glancing around to be sure Filch wasn’t standing guard. When she felt sure the way was clear Lily stepped out into the corridor tapping the wall with her wand. Silently, the passage disappeared.

With no idea where she was, Lily held her wand in her palm. “Point me.”

Thank Merlin she paid attention in Charms. As loud as she dared, Lily ran through the castle, stopping only twice to catch her breath, and mutter a curse at Potter. Hopefully he got caught, maybe they’d make him have detention in the Forbidden Forest. No, he’d probably like that. Or perhaps something involving flobberworms. Yes. That was better.

Finally reaching Gryffindor Tower Lily gasped out the password to the Fat Lady (thankfully she’d returned). Either to sleepy or surprised, the Fat Lady said nothing as she swung open. Relief flood through Lily as she clambered through the portrait and made a mad dash to the Girl’s Dormitory.

Once in her room Lily finally seemed able to breathe. Shuffling through the dark, Lily found her bedside table, in the moonlight she saw that it was nearly three. Moaning, Lily added a possibility of disembowelment to her list. She’d decided to call it The Unfortunate Demise of James Potter. It had a nice ring to it.

Setting her wand aside, Lily didn’t bother to take off her robe and got into bed, and was only slightly surprised to find another inhabitant snuggled among her quilts. Chuckling softly, Lily pulled her blankets gently over to her side. Alice made a small protest of “snuggling is mandatory,” before breathing deeply. Still chuckling to herself, Lily’s eyes drooped shut as she, indeed, snuggled up to her friend. Only as she was on the cusp of dreams did she think; did James get caught?

.*.*.

Giggling like a maniac, James Potter dashed among suits of armor, a small sack of fudge clutched to his chest. Behind him he heard the haggard gasps of Filch trying to keep up. Peeves wasn’t making things any easier, but at least McGonagall was nowhere to be found.

As James ducked into another passage, Peeves was right there cackling madly. “It’s a mouse! It’s a mouse!”

“C’mon Peeves, help me out!” James pleaded between pants. The poltergeist made no response besides a howl of glee swooping about.

Groaning, James didn’t dare stop to catch his breath as he stumbled down another corridor. He had spent the better part of an hour running through the dungeons, dodging Filch and cursing Peeves. By a miracle he’d managed to make it to the fourth floor, but now he was trapped. Well, not trapped per say, but he couldn’t remember where there was a passage to duck into or not. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten rid of Evans. Nah. She’d have made this at least ten times worse.

Did he dare tuck away into a broom closet? Perhaps an old classroom. He was too turned around to know for sure where he was.

A left. A right. Two more lefts and he was at a stairwell.

“Merciful Merlin,” he whispered.

Without another hesitation James began scrambling up, only stopping when he heard Filch at the bottom. Thankfully there was a bend in the stairs that kept James from view, his shadow was scarce in the torches. Filch muttered something under his breath but he made no effort to climb the stairs. A long breath left James’ puckered lips.

He stayed where he was though. No reason to underestimate Filch. Not now. Even Peeves lost interest in the chase, giving one last raspberry to the empty air; the Poltergeist darted off. When he was sure he was alone, James came down the stair he’d climbed up and hurried to find another way to Gryffindor Tower.

As he rounded a corner and came within sights of the Fat Lady, James was finally able to breath proper when a cat gave a, affronted meow. Cursing, James spun about twice before his eyes landed on a tabby cat sitting in a window sill. It looked vaguely familiar that James figured it had to be Lily’s.

“Elvendork,” James said cheerily, still a bit breathless. The cat gave him a pointed look as though it were questioning him on why he was out at this hour. “Oh don’t give me that.” He hefted the bag of fudge. “I needed to get something for Remus when he gets back.”

Plucking out a square, James chewed thoughtfully as the fudge melted in his mouth. Elvendork made a noise, nudging James with a paw.

“I went through a lot of trouble, I deserve at least one square,” James defended himself. “I’d offer you a piece, but I don’t think Lily would appreciate me feeding her cat fudge.”

The cat made no sound but seemed to glare at James with tired eyes. Blinking, the young man popped the last bit of fudge in his mouth and chewed quickly. The cat was creepy, just a bit.

“Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” James said hurrying away from Elevendork.

He would swear later that the cat laughed as he woke the Fat Lady up to enter the common room. If he’d paid closer attention though, he would have noticed that the cat was not Lily’s dear “Elvendork.” He would have noticed that this cat had distinct square markings around its eyes.

Safe in his dorm, James fell into his bed, pleased at the adventure he’d had and already thinking of the paths he had taken and where the secret passages lay. As his eyes drifted shut he wondered what would happen if Lily Evans knew he’d been lying. He’d known the whole time where the Kitchens were and how exactly to get into them. A small smile crossed his lips as sleep over came him. It was the longest they’d ever spent together without her hexing him.

“Progress Sirius, progress,” he muttered sleepily.

“Don’t wanna know,” came a muffled reply.

#jily fanfic #jily fanfiction #James Potter #Lily Evans #mauraders #mauraders era #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #jilytober #Harry Potter #i'm sorry it's kinda bad but i just kept writing and now have to post it

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 5 years ago

Text

No Other Version of Me

Ao3, MasterPost

Relationships: Moceit!

This ain’t a songfic, but the title is taken from ‘Jackie & Wilson’ by Hozier because. I wanted it to be.

Warnings: Very mild body horror related to excessive shape-shifting, Fwoggy Patton (he’s got frog features), insecurity, hurt/comfort, one (1) smooch, crying.

Word Count: 2,100

Janus was not nosy. Really, he’d only intended to return Patton’s electric blanket (he’d asked to borrow it on a particularly cold day in The Mindscape, and he definitely didn’t hold onto it for longer than necessary just because it smelled like Patton). Then, he would be on his way. Therefore, it was completely incidental that he’d heard a frustrated cry from Morality’s room before entering. And of course, the only reason that Janus continued to peer through the slightly ajar doorway- rather than just walking in- was so that he could assess the situation properly. To be safe.

The situation was this: Patton was hunched in front of the mirror above his dresser, shaking from head to toe. He was just visible in the reflection, revealing what seemed to be the issue.

Patton’s hands were oversized, webbed, and bright green. That same shade of citrus seemed to be overtaking his face, spanning across his eyes and nose and down his neck.

On the subject of his eyes; absolutely enormous, with oblong and dilated pupils surrounded by muck-brown irises. Oh, and they were also steadily filling up with tears, which was probably a more pressing issue.

Janus could have- and probably should have- just walked away and pretended he hadn’t seen anything. He almost did, turning to leave only to hear an absolutely heart-breaking wail from the room behind him. He sighed, spinning on his heel again and gently shouldering the door open.

“Good evening.”

The emotional trait startled at that, and when he flipped around he had changed- no webbed hands, no green splotches, just a shiny faux face. Janus clicked the door closed behind him; evidently this would be a sensitive issue.

“Oh- hey Janus! Can I help you with something?”

He had always hated Morality’s fake smile. Before they’d grown close, Deceit despised how it was another symbol of his repression. Now he hated it for how it paled in comparison to Patton’s genuine beam.

Janus held up the fluffy blanket still folded in his arms and then tossed it onto the bed.

“I was just dropping by to return your blanket. While I’m here, though, would you tell me why you’re doing that?”

Patton looked much like a deer caught in headlights, panic flashing across his masked face. He forced a laugh.

“Doing what?”

The literal embodiment of lies raised his eyebrow and patiently waited for Patton to own up. He didn’t, the stubborn little thing.

“The shapeshifting,” Janus pressed, “It can’t be comfortable to keep that up all day. I would know, I do it the most out of any of us,” with that, he extended his additional arms. He actually didn’t hide them much nowadays, what with being accepted and all, but they’d been getting in the way of chores (and also, it added some drama to the point he was making). Regardless, he hoped that Patton would understand what he was trying to convey- I know how you feel. You can trust me now, remember?

The moral side kept his hands held to his chest and his eyes downcast, blinking very quickly. The skin around his arms and face was taught and plasticky, like that of a mannequin. The disturbing signs of over-shifted forms.

“I know it’s been too long, Jan, I do- but this isn't a bunch of extra arms, or anything cool like that. It’s…” his hushed speech trailed off. Janus stepped closer and reached out. Patton let him hold his hands, trembling.

“Oh, come now, it can’t be worse than this,” Deceit gestured to the left side of his face, a clear joke. It backfired- Morality looked even more dismayed, muttering something that wasn’t quite audible. Janus squeezed his hands.

“Please. Show me.”

Patton seemed almost ready to argue as they met eyes, but the fight fell from him almost instantly. A dull teal shimmer passed over his face and neck, continuing to run down his arms. What was left from the transformation were watery, frog-like eyes behind his glasses and soft hands with pudgy fingers. The tips of those fingers were much wider than humans, not to mention nail-less. Up close, various lime-colored splotches were visible scattered about his skin in seemingly random places.

He was stunning.

And he was crying.

“No matter what I do,” Patton whispered, “It won’t go away. I’ve tried everything, Janus.”

“Why on earth would you want to get rid of this?”

Patton jerked his hands back to his chest and pulled away, bumping into his dresser.

“Look at me! I look like a monster! Why wouldn’t I want to get rid of it?”

Janus scoffed at the notion as if it were the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard, though his heart ached at the fresh tears that slipped down Patton’s face. He didn’t hesitate so much as a moment, sliding off his glove. His left glove.

“I am looking, can’t you see?” he let the article drop to the floor, reaching out a candy-apple colored claw to take Patton’s hand in his once more, “You’re absolutely beautiful, in this or any other form.”

Morality’s breath hitched as Deceit twined their fingers together, watching him cautiously. The moral side was quiet, save for staggered breathing, only for a moment.

“You don’t mean that.”

Janus cupped the side of his face with an unoccupied hand, gently dragging the gloved thumb beneath Patton’s eye to dry some of his tears.

“I’m not lying. Not about this, and not to you. I mean it,” I mean it so much more than you could possibly know.

Patton seemed to search his expression, gauging the sincerity. Janus met the gaze without falter. That was what most people forgot about lying- it’s the eyes, you can always see it in the eyes.

Patton leaned into him.

“You really do mean it, huh?”

“Of course I do,” the dishonest trait tried to ignore the heat that spread across his face when Morality smiled at him, tiny and genuine.

“You’re really pretty, too,” he murmured, “At least, I think so.”

The human side of Janus’ face was flaming. He tilted his head to the side and cleared his throat- this wasn’t about him. He would not relent to the thrumming in his heart and the fuzz in his mind, for he needed to focus on comforting his friend. Friend. Frieeeends. That was what they were, just in case he had forgotten.

“Thank you, Patton.”

He was met with a small giggle, and then they were hugging. Patton wrapped his arms around Janus’ torso and pressed his face against the side of the snake’s neck, and oh, that felt illegally wonderful. When he spoke, it rumbled against the lying side’s scales.

“Thank you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be used to this,” he held up a froggy hand, “It still seems like a punishment for what I did, one that I probably deserve. But if you still like m- it… then it doesn’t feel so bad.”

That pricked Janus’ ears. Patton saying he deserved any sort of ‘punishment’, like it was the most obvious and fair thing in the world, it struck something in him. Something deep and familiar and painful.

“Why do you think you deserve it?”

Patton hid his face further, his breath warm against Deceit’s skin.

“I did kinda freak out and turn into a giant monster… actions should have consequences.”

“So the emotional distress, the Roman fiasco, me showing up, those weren’t ‘consequences’? Consequences that don’t involve permanently changing your self-image?”

“But was it enough? Didn’t I get off a little too easily?”

Janus tossed his head back with a high-pitched laugh, which probably didn’t help the situation much- but the irony! The irony!

“I’m sorry, dear, but you saying that to me, well, it didn’t catch me off-guard at all,” he fixed his remaining arms around Patton comfortingly as the cackles subsided.

“What are you talking about, Jan?” Morality pulled his head back, melancholy replaced with confusion.

“Look at us,” Janus said gleefully, “Just a few months ago I couldn’t get within five feet of you without you acting like I was going to murder you.”

Patton winced at Deceit’s less-than-comforting phrasing.

“Let me reiterate: you thought that because I wanted you to. It was my intention to be threatening, and the blame for that lies with me. And after all of that, you forgave me almost immediately. You can’t extend the same courtesy to yourself?”

“But that’s different!”

“Is it? Explain it to me.”

“It just is when it’s somebody else.”

“Exactly! We’ve found the problem. Your self-imposed rules are much stricter on yourself than on anybody else. That doesn’t sound very fair, does it?”

“I-” Patton looked almost argumentative, but just as before, it evaporated into exhaustion, “I don’t know. Maybe. But I’m not in charge of other people, and I am in charge of me.”

“That you are. And you’ve just been so easy on yourself. Plus you totally haven’t been improving, and it’s not like that counts more than anything else.”

Patton blinked, taking his time to unscramble the backwards talk. He hummed in thought.

“Even if I still don’t love this new- uh- ‘new look’, I think… Maybe I needed to hear that?” he admitted, a sheepish smile returning. Patton kept himself so very near in their hug that it was becoming dizzying, but Janus had to stay focused.

“Perhaps I can help with that, too.”

He felt a thrill chase up his spine when Morality tipped his head to the side inquisitively.

“Really?”

“I believe so. I have no idea what it’s like looking abnormal, after all. So if you ever feel particularly bad about your, ah, amphibian appearance, then you know where to find me. I’ll be sure to remind you just what you are,” Deceit loosened his grip and leaned back just the tiniest bit, readying himself to make the final point.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re worthy of love,” he was just parroting the moral trait’s words back to him, it carried no connotations nor significance. It was a callback at most. Janus tried to hammer that into his head, even when Patton looked at him so shocked and adoringly and he felt that it was beginning to mean so much more. The meaning twisted around the more he prolonged the embrace, the more he stared into those wide watery eyes, the more he wanted it to twist.

“Oh,” Patton murmured. He curled his fingers in the fabric of Janus’ capelet, “Oh, Janus.”

They were so close, their faces just inches apart. And he was leaning closer, closer, almost touching. Janus’ breath hitched when Patton stopped short, watching him carefully and... expectantly?

Janus realized that Morality would never close the gap between them, not in this kind of sensitive state. Janus also knew that, should he not do it himself, Patton wouldn’t bring it up again, for fear of seeming pushy. As terrifying the thought of kissing the object of his affections was, there was something much more horrible about the thought of not doing it. So, no reason to overthink it, he supposed.

Janus tipped his head up and connected their lips.

Patton kissed back eagerly, leaning down to accommodate their height difference. He was sweet, and warm, a gentle pressure against Deceit. He smiled, letting his hand rest at the small of Janus’ back. They moved together slowly, easily, as though this was something they were already practiced at. It was a second nature.

When they finally broke apart, Patton glanced down at his arms. He giggled a little, pressing his forehead to Janus’.

“Looks like the kiss didn’t turn me human.”

Janus, who was trying very hard to have coherent thoughts at the moment, shook his head. It took a few seconds of breathy and very embarrassing squeaking sounds before he managed to say actual words.

“Humanity is overrated, Darling,” which would have been a very smooth and dramatic thing to say, if only he wasn’t clutching to Patton for dear life and burning at the ears.

“If you say so,” the moral side pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Hhaghhh,” Janus responded eloquently, shoving his flushed face into Patton’s shoulder. The trait laughed, a lilting sound right against Janus’ ear. It was intoxicating.

“You are just too adorable, Jan.”

“This was a horrible mistake. I never should have returned that blanket and I hate you.”

“I can let go of you, if you want?”

“Not in a million years.”

Patton laughed at him again. Whatever, it was so worth it.

@shrimp-crockpot

#my writing #fanfiction #fanfic #sanders sides #ts #moceit #janus #patton #ts janus #ts patton #sanders sides fanfiction #ts fanfic #tw frog

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tenmillionwhumperflies · 4 years ago

Text

Cloudwalker Series Part 8

Alright, so I did write this up a while ago and kinda forgot to post it, but here we are. This part is where Ihuka gets his wounds treated and Dyan has to watch and gets upset. I don’t think there’s any warnings I need to point out.

Master-list Here

Approx WC: 1200

Dyan struggled to carry Ihuka up the stairs and out of that horrible stinking dungeon. He struggled to keep him upright and drag him along to his room with Ihuka panting for breath and crying out in pain. There was so little he could do to help until he got him upstairs. Avizon, their master, would care for him, he hoped, but if not maybe he’d be able to offer some help, even if it was just comfort.

Ihuka collapsed halfway up their stairs, at which point Avizon grumbled and lifted him up using his powers. Ihuka squeaked immediately, he didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Ihuka was so hurt and so scared of what he might do to him. But Avizon didn’t hurt him anymore. He took him to have a bath and eased him down in warm water. Ihuka whimpered, tense and bracing, not comfortable in the water but too afraid to get out. Dyan was allowed to kneel by his side and help clean him, to offer him some comfort, to help him calm, but it wasn’t easy. Ihuka flinched at the slightest sound, ducked under every bold movement. He hugged his knees and tried to just stay small, insignificant, out of trouble.

“That will do for now,” Avizon said, once the thick of the grime was off. “Help him out, I’ll have to change the water.” Dyan did so, wrapping him in a towel as he stood on shaky legs and eased him into his lap, covering him with his wings to help keep him warm. Dyan nuzzled against the side of Ihuka’s neck, hoping it was some sort of comfort.

“You hurt him so badly, master...” Dyan whispered, seeing the blood easing its way out of reopened wounds. “Why did you have to hurt him like this? To take his feathers...” “If I didn’t do something drastic, he wasn’t going to listen, now hush.” Dyan dipped his head back down, focusing more on trying to help Ihuka. The bath was filled and he was ready to go back in. Avizon lifted him in, taking his time so as to not disturb his wounds. “Wash him. I will be back soon to treat the wounds.”

Dyan sat, daring to gently hush Ihuka as he washed him down with his bare hand, trying not to be too rough where the skin was sore and disturbed. “I’m sorry,” Dyan whispered. “You don’t deserve any of this...” Ihuka could barely bring himself to whimper in response.

Ihuka was almost drifting off sitting up until Avizon opened the door and it hit the back wall. Ihuka yelped, tucking his head in. Dyan tried to offer comfort by taking his hand.

“Ihuka, stand.” Ihuka did so, or at least, he tried. He almost slipped over, had Dyan not caught him, straining his muscles to get him up and to help him straighten out. Avizon sighed and used his powers again. Ihuka cried out, begging for mercy in his own language, apologising for failing him. Dyan’s heart twisted in his chest. He hated this. He hated it! It was different when it was him in that position, it was all he’d ever known, but seeing the brother of their ruler, seeing the living definition of wild getting broken down like this in days killed him inside.

“Shhh, I am not mad at you. Ihuka, still. Be still.”

Hearing Avizon offer comfort made Dyan feel sick He had caused this pain! He didn’t deserve to be able to offer comfort. Dyan bit back a growl. He watched and waited as Avizon carried him out and took him to a different room, following close on his heels. Avizon eased him down onto a table, face down so he could see to the injuries he had caused- as if he cared!

“Shhh,” Avizon soothed, yet he took Ihuka by the hand and tied it to the table leg, and then he did the same to the other. Dyan could feel Ihuka’s raw panic but he couldn’t get up. Dyan wanted to run away and not have to see what was going to unfold before him.

“Tell him I am treating his wounds. The bindings are so he stays still and doesn’t move around,” Avizon said, fastening another two ropes over him, one at the small of his back and the other over his legs at the knee. Ihuka cried into his pillow as Avizon set to work cleaning and binding the wounds. Dyan could do nothing but press his head softly against Ihuka’s and whisper soothing things to him, gentle words of encouragement, promises he’d be able to rest soon. Ihuka’s cries of pain and pleading for mercy brought tears to Dyan’s eyes. He desperately wished there was more he could do.

Finally, the ropes came off, and Ihuka was left a shuddering shaking mess. He didn’t dare look Avizon in the face. “Here...” Avizon said, offering him a glass of herb-infused water. Ihuka took one sniff and turned his head away slightly. “Ihuka, drink.” Dyan gently translated it but he had to step back as Avizon eased him into sitting up so he could drink it. Ihuka coughed and scrunched up his face, but he kept drinking. He was just too afraid of what would happen if Avizon was to use his powers again...

Ihuka coughed and shuddered as Avizon let him drop back down onto the table, so weak and tired. “Take him to your room, he can sleep now.” Dyan did his best to help him off the table and down the long hallway to his room. “I’m sorry I c.couldn’t protect you,” Ihuka whispered in his own language. “I tried, I really did...”

Dyan sniffled, but he didn’t have a free hand to wipe away his own tears. He helped him to his room, with Avizon following close behind. Dyan struggled not to glare at his master as he settled Ihuka down on the bed, listening to his groans, his raspy breaths.

“Let’s see if he’s so keen to bite me the next time I train him.”

Dyan turned around to face him. “He only bit you to protect me. Cloudwalkers always protect the youngest or weakest, Master.” “And it’s a habit he will have to unlearn. If he’d obeyed in the first place, this wouldn’t have been a problem.” To the fire with obeying cruel humans who didn’t care about anything but themselves. He couldn’t just stand and listen to this. “He just wanted his brother!” Dyan cried. “He couldn’t give up on him. He hates having his freedom stolen from him, he wants to live with his brother! Please, just let him go, I’ll stay, I’ll do whatever you want me to, master- anything! But please let him go-” Avizon slapped him hard enough to make him stagger to the side and clutch his cheek. “Remember your place,” he glowered. “His brother has been caught and sold no doubt, and so has he. I am all he has and all he will know. They will not see each other again, the sooner he accepts that the better.” Avizon grabbed Dyan by the face, drawing a whimper from him. “You’re a good little bird who knows how you’re meant to behave. Don’t spoil yourself. I don’t take pleasure in hurting you.” Dyan felt the flame inside him diminish while his cheek burned. “I’m... sorry, master.” “You will be if you’re so defiant again.”

Avizon left, slamming the door and locking it which made Ihuka curl up tight. Dyan scrubbed the tears out of his eyes and took off his shirt. He climbed into bed with Ihuka, pulling him close, wrapping his wings around him as well as the blanket to keep him warm. They cried together, holding each other tight, wishing all of this would just go away but it wasn’t possible. All they could do was try and help each other through it.

Slowly, Ihuka calmed, his movements grew still and he began to gently snore in Dyan’s embrace. Dyan smiled gently. At least he was able to help. He could only hope he could be strong enough for both of them.

#cloudwalker series #my writing #whump #whump writing #Ihuka #Dyan #Avizon #my poor babies

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photochoco · 4 years ago

Text

New Recruit

After an unfortunate run-in with a client, Wisteria finds themselves with a curse. Luckily, Black Cauldron is here to help.

Pinprick and Bianca had been the closest to the disturbance. Patrolling had its perks, one of them being that you never knew when you might conveniently stumble upon magical mayhem.

Well, they didn’t stumble upon it so much as they heard a pained screech split through the air as they walked along. Rushing towards the source, they rounded a corner and into an alley-

Someone in a pointed hat stood with their back to the Cadets, holding a second person up by their throat. Magic crackled in the air like static.

A witch.

“HEY!” Bianca yelled. Pinprick rushed past her, talons outstretched.

The witch barely sidestepped his swipe in time, their hat getting nicked in the process. Scrambling onto their broom, they rose up into the air and took off above the buildings.

“Pin, go after ‘em! I’ll take care of the kid.”

Despite being a giant, Pinprick was very fast. He gave a single nod and leapt up onto a nearby house, hopping from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit.

The civilian was laying in a heap on the ground, unmoving.

Bianca swore under her breath as she skidded to a halt next to them, grabbing their shoulder and rolling them over. Whatever had happened with the witch, it seemed like they'd put up a fight, smeared blood drying on the corners of their mouth.

“Damn kid...I’m sorry…” Bianca muttered as she noticed the streams of multicolor flowing in rivulets from their closed eyes. It coated their hands as well; it was no doubt caused by a curse. At least they were breathing. Bianca considered calling for backup before Pinprick leapt down in front of her.

He wore a frustrated scowl. “The witch got away. They were too far ahead.”

Bianca sighed in resignation. “Dammit. Well, let’s at least count it as a win that they didn’t kill this kid here. Look at ‘er eyes though, I think they got cursed. We gotta- hff- get ‘em to Tracy- Geezus they’re a deadweight-” she sunk under their weight as she tried to hoist them up, an arm around their shoulders.

“Here, let me-” Pinprick gently scooped them into his arms. Their head sagged against his chest and they didn’t stir beyond a small mumble that was barely audible. “Poor thing…” he murmured, cradling them carefully against himself.

“Let’s get 'em back to BC and see what the damage is. Hopefully nothin’ too bad.”

---

A myriad of voices reached her ears, but she couldn’t really understand what anyone was saying through her exhaustion. She wanted to go back to sleep.

Consciousness came slow, discouraged by soft, warm blankets. Yet they couldn’t shake the feeling that something horrible had happened…She scrunched her face up. It felt like...there was something...

“Oh shit, they moved!”

“She’s waking up!”

“Oooooh do you think she’ll wanna become a Cadet?”

“Whaddaya think happened?”

“Ok everyone, that’s enough, off you go! There will be plenty of time for meet and greet later!”

Coherent thought was returning in a steady stream, and it was now that she realized there were bandages around her eyes. Bandages? Is that why her eyelids felt so hot and swollen…? Or was it because her eyes felt hot and swollen that she had bandages…? Did something happen to them?

She sat up rather abruptly, hearing a squeal of surprise in response to her quick movement. Her eyes...were really itchy. They itched, but they stung more, like a dull ache. Like someone had blown pepper flakes into her eyes…they automatically watered in response to the thought.

Her head throbbed. Ugh...it felt like something was hammering the inside of her skull...She pressed a hand to her temple in protest of the sudden headache.

“Welcome back, dear. You gave us a bit of a scare, being out for so long.”

She jumped at the voice and heard a soft chuckle.

“No need to be jumpy, now. You’re at Black Cauldron. My name is Tracy Pan, I’m a nurse here.”

“Black Cauldron…” she echoed. “You mean the guild for cursed people…?”

“The very same. One of our teams found you in an alley. It looked like you had been attacked. Does that seem familiar at all?”

It did. She nodded, her mouth suddenly becoming dry. If she was here, at Black Cauldron, did that mean…?

“I’ll get straight to the matter at hand. When our Cadets found you, you seemed to have color streaming from your eyes. When you got here, your eyelids were pretty irritated and swollen, hence the bandages as a precaution. It’s very possible you’ve been cursed.”

Wisty was silent as the nurse methodically unwound the gauze and peeled the medical tape off the pads over her eyes.

“I...don’t really remember a lot about what happened. They were a client of mine, they were angry about...something about the art I made for them? We got into a fight and...they shot some sort of spell at me.”

“Hm hm! And what’s your name?”

She could barely squeeze it out of her rapidly tightening throat as dread coiled in her gut . “...W-Wisteria. Wisteria Inkwell. Or...Wisty...”

“Pleasure to meet you, Wisty. I’m going to remove your bandages. When they’re off, make sure to open your eyes slowly. If you are cursed, there’s a high likelihood that it affected your eyes.”

Please don’t let it be what she thought it was.

Please let that have been from shock. Please...

“Alright, you can open your eyes now.”

Slowly, reluctantly, she opened them.

Everything was grey. Greys and whites and blacks, like she was looking at an old photograph. Monochrome. The color was gone. Wisty’s heart had started to pound so hard she could feel each thump in her chest. The dread uncoiled and shot through her veins, bringing with it a wave of cold.

Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot--

No. No. No. No way. This couldn’t be happening.

She would not cry, not in front of other people, let alone a stranger. Emotions she couldn’t place were whirling about inside her so fast. But her face was blank as she willed the tears back. She felt very dizzy.

“Hm hm!” A small plump woman popped into her view, a troll? She leaned in close, examining her eyes. “It would seem it is indeed a curse on your eyesight. Or is it perhaps a different version of soul loss…? Your eyes are voided out like another one of our Cadets, but his are white, yours are black. What do you see?”

Wisty fought off tears. “There’s no color. I can’t see color, I--they-- they took color from me...they--”

“Interesting, interesting…and how else do you feel?” Tracy continued.

The room was spinning.

“I...uh…kin...kinda...dizzy...” Wisty mumbled. “I think ‘m gonna b’ sick…”

“Hmm, you might be in shock. How about we… …”

The rest of the nurse’s words were lost to the static roar that started in Wisty’s ears. Everything sounded very far away all of a sudden, she herself felt like she was floating. She could see things, hear things, but she couldn’t make sense of any of it. She tried to breathe in steadily, but her chest was burning. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She felt herself falling freely through space.

Where was the color?

---

It was quiet when Wisty came to again. Jeez...what happened? Had they fainted?

They opened their eyes, slowly.

It was no less gut-wrenching the second time.

The world was still in grayscale, and the sickening feeling swelled inside them all over again. They looked around and listened, eyes already brimming with tears. They were alone. Good.

They buried their face into their knees and sobbed. They sobbed until they felt like they were going to be sick. Their throat was tight and their head pounded, they cried until they had no tears left. The colorful world they’d loved so much was gone. And it wasn’t going to come back. Small wails mixed in with their sobs, thankfully muffled by the blankets.

Finally, they calmed themself down with a series of long sighs that shook their frame. They wiped their eyes and looked around, sniffling. Urgh, now they’d given themself a nasty headache and they couldn’t breathe through their nose. They slipped out of bed to find the bathroom. They could use some cold water on their face.

Wisty approached the door and went to open it, only to have it swing forward on its own, causing them to yelp in response.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t--excuse me--”

The pair of legs in the doorway bent down, and an incredibly tall ghoul ducked through the threshold.

“Ahem.” He straightened himself up to his full height, easily over nine feet. “Apologies cupcake, I didn’t see you there. Actually, should you even be out of bed? You haven’t been taking your curse very well.”

Wisty squirmed and hastily wiped at her eyes. “I, um, I actually feel fine now. I just wanted some water.”

He leaned down, putting his face too close to hers, and gently pressed a long pointed finger onto her cheek. She resisted the urge to shrink away. What if he noticed--

“Now, why the waterfalls?”

Crap.

“I. Um.”

The ghoul studied her expression and grinned widely with a chuckle, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth. Wisty averted her gaze. What colors was he? Frustrated tears bubbled up again. The ghoul cocked his head and continued to grin. Then his eyebrows hopped up and his smile dropped in surprise.

“Oh my. That doesn’t look normal.”

“H-Huh?” Wisty wiped at her eyes and was startled to smell...what was that? Ink? She pulled her hand away.

Some sort of dark substance was smeared across the back of her hand. She looked at it. Looked up at the ghoul. Back to the ink. Then the ghoul. He stared back with a surprisingly calm expression.

“Side effect of your curse, perhaps?” he suggested.

Fighting back the urge to just up and scream, Wisty replied, “Uuuhhhhh maybe? Hope this isn’t a permanent thing-”

“Yo Pin, quit hoggin’ the doorframe!”

A girl with long gelatinous-looking hair squeezed past the ghoul, her eyebrows also hopping up when she saw Wisty.

Oh, you’re awake! ‘S about time too, you were startin’ to freak us all out! Especially after you fainted right outta the bed.”

She stuck her hand out, and Wisty took it in her own. The girl’s hand was very warm.

“I’m Bianca Frost, and this is my partner Pinprick! We make up Team B of Black Cauldron. We found you in an alley.”

“Oh--oh my god, you guys saved me? Thank you!!”

Bianca shrugged and rubbed the back of her head, looking away.

“Eh, it was nothin’. I’m just sorry we didn’t find you sooner. Uh, how are ya feelin’ now? You know your eyes are...uh, leaking, right?”

“Y-Yeah, dunno what’s up with that. I’m...better. It’s still kinda a big shock,” Wisty rubbed at her eyes again. “Do you have a bathroom in here? I wanted to get some water and clean my face.”

At her insistence that she felt fine enough to do it herself, Bianca pointed Wisty in the direction of the restrooms. They were easy to find, tucked around the corner from a bar area. There were several people sitting at tables, and they all swiveled their heads to stare at her as she walked by. With a weird flip in her stomach, Wisty hurriedly shut the door behind her as whispers began.

Purposefully avoiding the mirror, they splashed their face with water, sighing as it soothed their itchy, swollen eyes. Wisty braced themselves, head hanging with one hand on either side of the sink. They stared down at the wisps of ink mixing with the water as it all swirled down the drain. They could deal with this. It would be fine. They’d be fine. They’d find a way to keep making art, this was fine. They cupped their hands under the stream and took several thirsty gulps. This was manageable. People got cursed all the time. (As unfortunate as that was.)

Wisty sighed again. They wondered if the curse affected how their eyes looked. Steeling themself, they looked in the mirror. Their eyes were completely black, no visible iris or sclera to be seen.

“Whoooooooaaaa,” They couldn’t help the exclamation as they leaned in closer, staring at their reflection with wide eyes. “Haha, what the hell…?”

They pulled their eyelid down and rolled their eyeball around, looking this way and that; the whole thing was as solid and black as an 8 ball and reflected no light. Kinda like that pigment of black they used once-

A thought struck them- what would people think if they saw their eyes? Would they avoid her? Would people commission art from a cursed person who couldn’t even see the colors she was using? Cursed people in Salem were viewed with pity, and sometimes worse, outright scorn for being damaged goods. Would they have to wear sunglasses or something? What if--

There was a knock on the door.

Pin’s -that was his name right?- voice sounded on the other side, muffled, “Hey cupcake, are you almost done in there? John wants to talk to you.”

John? Who’s that…? Wisty opened the door. Two people dressed in Ironmaiden uniforms were waiting to greet her. One was a tall, imposing-looking woman with her greying hair neatly twisted into a bun. She looked severe, but her eyes looked at Wisty gently. Next to her was an equally-tall oxen hybrid, standing with his arms crossed. He looked at Wisty just as kindly, despite his intimidating appearance. She fiddled with the hem of her dress, clenching it in her hands.

“You’re Wisteria Inkwell, correct?” the woman asked. Wisty nodded.

“My name is Elanor Pan, founder of Black Cauldron. This here is John Bullock, chief of the Iron Maidens.”

“We wanted to ask you a few questions. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble,” John said, noting Wisty’s sudden nervous expression. “We wanted to ask you about the witch that cursed you. It’s our understanding they got away after attacking you.”

“Oh, no! I don’t mind at all…” Wisty replied, feeling relief wash over her.

“Good. Now, if you’ll come this way…” John ushered Wisty into another room. Before the door closed, she looked back at the entourage that was still gathered. They all stared at her.

Wisty rubbed at her eyes.

---

She ambled back out the door a good while later, now rubbing at her temple. John and Ela had peppered her with questions about her assailant until her head was spinning. They certainly were thorough. She’d drawn them a picture of the witch that had cursed her, which ate up even more time as she tried to recall as many details about them as possible. Then...more questioning. A drop of whatever-the-heck was dripping out of her eyes nearly ruined the whole damn drawing.

Wisty wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to have happen. Did she want the witch to be arrested? Did she want revenge? Out of all the things she was feeling, anger wasn’t very high on the list at the moment. Both John and Ela had assured her the drawing she made, as well as the details she provided, would be put on the wanted board in Black Cauldron.

On that topic… Ela had said…

The people still in the bar area chose that moment to pounce, all but swarming around her.

“Hey! Did Ela talk to you about becoming a Cadet?”

“What kind of curse do you have?”

“Want some soda?”

They were all talking over each other so loudly Wisty could hardly piece together what any one person said. She was luckily saved by Elanor, who swept out of the room behind her.

“Really now! I’d said there’d be time for introductions later, but this poor child has had a very long day and she certainly doesn’t need to be bombarded by you all at once. I know you’re all excited about the prospect of a new Cadet, but please, be considerate. Don’t scare them off just yet!” she said, a good-humored smile curving her mouth. She placed a hand on Wisty’s shoulder and looked down at her, still smiling. “Think about my offer, won’t you? I think you’d be a valuable member here.”

“I’ll think about it, for sure,” Wisty said.

Ela nodded. “Good. In the meantime, would you like to stay here awhile until you’re feeling better? Maybe get yourself acquainted with some of our Cadets here.”

“I’m- Thank you very much Mrs. Elanor-” Wisty managed to squeak out as Bianca grabbed her wrist and began to pull her away.

“Just Ela is fine, dear!”

Bianca ushered a bewildered Wisty into a seat, and the remaining chairs at the table were very quickly filled in. A stout girl with hair that curled at the ends trotted up to the crowd, notepad in hand.

“Hi! I’m Cameilla, a waitress here. Can I get you anything to drink?” she chirped, smiling wide.

“I’d looooove a soda-” a boy at the table started. “She was talking to the new kid, not you,” someone else retorted.

“Well...if it’s not too much trouble, I’m literally dying for a lemonade right now,” Wisty said.

Cameilla smiled and hopped away towards the kitchen. “Cameilla is the youngest Cadet,” Bianca said. “She’s not keen on the whole fighting thing, so she works as a waitress here instead!”

She returned a very short time later with Wisty’s lemonade, and the questions began.

The first to speak was Pinprick. “So, my dear, care to share with the rest of the class? Why don’t we get those introductions out of the way.”

“Oh! I’m Wisteria. Just Wisty is fine.”

Everyone looked at her expectantly. One of the Cadets tapped near their eyes and pointed at her.

“Oh right, my curse. Well...I can’t see color anymore,” Wisty found it was easier to talk about than she had anticipated. “I can still see and all, but it’s like--you know black and white photographs? It’s like that. I can still see value, but all the hue and saturation is gone.”

There was a wave of nods and aaaaaah’s that quickly turned into a collective scream as a thick, viscous liquid trickled down Wisty’s cheeks.

“Holy shit your eyes are melting!!”

“No no no no they’re not! They’ve been doing this ever since I woke up. I’m...really hoping this isn’t a thing my eyes just do now…”

Bianca slid a napkin dispenser her way and Wisty grabbed several, hurriedly rubbing at her face, grumbling in frustration.

“I swear, if this is just a thing for me now I’m gonna go feral,” she muttered.

“Being colorblind looks pretty metal,” a boy with glowing white eyes said, blowing a cloud of smoke out through his teeth. A cigarette was clenched between them.

Wisty wrinkled her nose and tried not to gag into the napkin. She hated the smell of cigarette smoke. The Cadet sitting next to the boy must have noticed, because he deftly yoinked it out of his comrade’s mouth.

“Yo Harvey, what the hell man?!” the boy squawked as the person in a bunny mask crumpled the cigarette in his hand.

“If you paid any attention to her face, you’d have seen your smokestack was making her sick, dumbass.” He turned to Wisty and stuck out his non-ash covered hand, which Wisty took and shook. “I’m Harvey. I make weapons for Cadets here. This idiot next to me is Dex.”

Dex gave a short wave, grinning widely. “Yep, that’s me! Dex, the resident heartthrob.”

Wisty blinked. “Oh, I’ve seen you before! You nearly ran me over with your bike once.”

Everyone present swiveled their heads to stare at Dex. He blinked.

“I’m sorry about him. He tragically lost all his brain cells years ago.“

“...I did?”

“Oh my god Dex that is NOT what you say to someone you nearly flattened with your dumb bike!”

“Hey! DeeDee is NOT dumb! She--ow ow ow ow!” his words cut off with a squeal as Harvey sitting next to him grabbed him in a headlock.

“I’m sorry about him. He tragically lost all his brain cells years ago.“

Wisty couldn’t help but giggle. “Um, have you all been here long?”

“Some of us have, yeah,” Harvey said. He released his hold on Dex, who sucked in air theatrically.

“Caldwell, the guy workin’ behind you? He helped form BC with Ela. They go way back,” Pinprick said. “Then we all joined one by one! There’s many more of us who aren’t here right now, but it’d be lovely if you met them, cupcake. We’re definitely a rag-tag bunch with a myriad of curses to match.”

Bianca tossed her hair, grinning in a way that seemed very much prideful. “A witch set me on fire and I turned into a lava elemental! Best thing that ever happened to me!”

“I mean, it’s fairly obvious for me,” Pinprick added, grinning equally widely. “Black Cauldron’s resident ghoul.”

Harvey was silent until Dex leaned on him hard enough to nearly push him off his chair.

“Oh god fine!” he relented, placing a hand on Dex’s face and shoving him away. “I was dared by some buddies of mine to put this mask on and it never came off,” he said. “Happy now?” he added to Dex, who was watching him with his chin in his hands, smiling mischievously.

“How do you eat then?!” Wisty balked.

“With a straw, duh.”

“What about you, Dex? Wh-”

“Sooooo!” Dex cut in. “Are you thinking about becoming a Cadet?”

“I mean, Ela did make the offer to me. But I dunno how much of a help I’d be to be honest. Fighting sounds interesting, buuuuut all I’m really good at is making art.”

“We can help teach you, if you join. And Harvey can make you a weapon!” Dex said. “And if ya want, maybe you could team up with someone, like Alphus over there, or—”

“I work alone, Dex boy,” the woman leaning on the wall nearby said.

Wisty shrunk in her seat.

“Oh, don’t mind her cupcake, she can be a little standoffish towards everyone at first,” Pinprick said, placing a reassuring hand on Wisty’s shoulder, nearly knocking her off her chair. “Honestly Alphus, be nice!”

Alphus shrugged. “Hey, never said I was against backup if I’d ever need it, which I won’t. Just so long as no one gets in my way.”

“So what was this about you being an artist?” Harvey inquired.

“Oh yeah! I mostly do commission work and run my studio outta my apartment. You might’ve seen some of my stuff if you visit the underground city.”

“Oooooh, can you show us some of your work?”

“Can you draw something right now?”

---

It ended up being pretty late when Wisty finally set off back home. A slight breeze wafted through the city streets, and they initially felt oddly at ease, despite everything that had happened. But as they walked along, gazing at familiar sights, a pit opened up in the bottom of their stomach. How were they going to deal with this? What would they tell their friends? Their family? The streetlamps that once felt so warm seemed frigid now, a dull grey. Values were mixing together and hard to tell apart. Wisty impatiently flicked away yet another trickle of black from their right eye.

Black Cauldron…

They’d heard of them for a long time, but they never imagined they might end up joining one day. And even now, they were still unsure. Everyone they had met were very friendly, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to become a Cadet. Maybe they could make recruitment posters or something. Or something. The last thing they wanted to be was a hindrance to anyone.

A single day at a time.

“Ugh!” Wisty shouted aloud, throwing their fists in the air.

They had time to think it over, even Ela had said so! There was no rush.

They’d take it one day at a time.

#stories #original story #skz #skullkidz #skull kidz #out in the field #wisteria #wisty #man this rewrite took foreverrrr #but i like it a lot more now :>

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baskervilleshound · 5 years ago

Text

Her Cookies Were to Die For (PART 1)

((so this is a Snatcher sickfic. There will be lots of fluff and also dadtcher stuff in here. Buckle up, kids))

The forest was dark and humid as thunder clapped across the sky. It was going to rain soon, but Snatcher certainly didn’t mind. Silently, he floated about the boundaries of his forest, making sure that everything that belonged to him was in order.

The Dwellers watched him from afar and cocked their heads. Snatcher paid them no mind, and tried to even pay less attention to the ice on a freezing walkway. The walkway to Vanessa’s manor.

The ghost growled and spat towards that general direction before crossing his arms and huffing. He hated that place in his forest- oh, how he hated it so.

“Boss, boss…! Hey, boss, stop!”

Snatcher turned to see one of his cloaked minions running towards him, a gift box tied with a red bow in its small hands.

“What?” Snatcher murmured irritably, his lip curling up at the object in the minion’s hands.

“it’s for you. A gift- from Queen Vanessa. I’m supposed to give it to you.”

“I don’t want it,” Snatcher hissed. “Throw it over the cliff, keep it, I don’t care. Get rid of it! I don’t want anything from the likes of her.”

The minion stared at Snatcher unblinking.

“Well, don’t ya wanna know what’s in there?”

“No! Get rid of it, you FOOL!” Thunder clapped across the sky dramatically with a streak of pink lightening, as if Snatcher himself had willed it to do so.

And with that, the ghost turned his back and swiftly darted away. He couldn’t believe this. After all of this time, Vanessa was trying to give him gifts? After she chained him in the dungeon until he starved to death? After everything that she did to him….? Oh, no. Snatcher wasn’t having that. He wanted nothing to do with that witch now, and that was that.

Snatcher let out a sigh once his was in his cozy armchair. He just wanted to pull out a good book and forget about the dumb gift entirely. However, that was when he saw it.

Sitting on his bookshelf was a white gift box, tied with a red ribbon.

“Are you kidding me…?” he growled as he stormed up out of his chair, grabbing the box off of the shelf between his claws. He was about to toss it directly out of his doorway when he noticed something on the top of the box- a note.

Snatcher held it in his claws and narrowed his eyes as he began to read.

My dearest prince,

I am so sorry about what happened so long ago. I was young then, and knew not what I did. I know that things will never be the same. But please, take what resides in this box as a heartfelt apology.

Sincerely and always yours,

Queen Vanessa

Snatcher immediately crumpled up the note in his claws and let out a deep, aggravated sigh. Whatever was in that box would fix nothing. He didn’t care if it was a box full of people willing to sign their souls away- absolutely NOTHING could fix the fact that Vanessa murdered him, and on top of that, broke his heart by not believing him.

However, his curiosity got the best of him. Tossing the note aside, Snatcher pulled the ribbon on the box, and took the lid off of it. Immediately, a warm, sweet aroma filled his senses. In the bottom of that box was Vanessa’s homemade, chocolate chip cookies.

Of course she wouldn’t send me bacon, now would she? Snatcher mused to himself as he pulled one of the sweets out of the box, easing himself back into his chair. Without a second thought, he popped it into his fanged mouth.

Snatcher would never admit it out loud, or even to himself, but he still did love the taste of Vanessa’s cookies, and sometimes even missed them. Regardless of the fact that he wasn’t forgiving the queen any time soon, Snatcher continued to eat the chocolatey treats as he read one of his many books; tonight’s being one called How to Make Kids Go Away: A Sequel to How to Kill Kids.

After reading for quite some time, Snatcher sensed a disturbance coming from outside of his hallow home. Something was making a racket out in the woods, and Snatcher had an idea of exactly who it could be. Rolling his eyes, the shadowy ghost poked his head outside of his home, and looked up. Sure enough, on the branches above, he could see the Hat Kid dangling for dear life.

“Kid, didn’t I tell you to get lost?” Snatcher called. “You’re gonna get yourself killed up there. Wait- maybe you should stay up there! Ahahahahaaaa!”

After laughing at his own mean humor, Snatcher found himself out of breath. In an instant, he was woozy. Was the forest beginning to spin…?

Carefully, the ghost made his way back over to his chair and flopped into it, closing his yellow eyes. He didn’t have the energy to chase the kid around, or offer her any new contracts right now. In fact, he couldn’t if he wanted to. In all honesty, Snatcher felt awful…which sort of jarred him. Ghosts weren’t supposed to be able to feel awful, were they?

“Snatcher?”

The ghost opened one eye to see Hat Kid standing in front of him, her umbrella in her hand. The ghost let out a groan.

“What?” he growled rather irritably. “I don’t have anything for you, kid. Our business is concluded- now scram. You have all the time pieces from me.”

“No…I’m not here for those. I was just playin’ on your tree, and wanted to come say hi to my BFF!” Hat said with a grin.

Snatcher rolled his eyes at the child. No matter what he did, he just couldn’t seem to get the kid to go away! No matter what, she just came back over, and over, and over, and over…

“Where’s your book?” Hat asked as she jumped up onto the arm of Snatcher’s chair and sat down. “You’re always reading, why not now? Oooh, it smells like cookies in here! Did you bake some?”

“Kid, you’re asking me too many questions right now,” Snatcher grumbled, pressing his claws against his forehead.

“Can you please just…go away? I really don’t want company right now.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t!”

Snatcher could feel himself growing more irritated by the minute. He didn’t feel right- his body was actually a bit sore, and he was feeling far more tired than usual. He didn’t need this kid annoying him right now within the confines of his own home- truly, he just wanted to be alone. For once, he didn’t even want to read. He just wanted to sleep.

“Oh, wait…you look kinda funny.”

Snatcher let out a huff and slammed his fists on the armrests of his chair.

“Kid, did you just come here to pester and insult me, or what?!” he snapped. “Of COURSE I look funny. I’m DEAD.”

Snatcher was ready to pick up that kid and toss her out his doorway. He didn’t feel well, and this added annoyance certainly wasn’t helping anything.

“Nono, I mean your color is weird. You’re normally really purple but…you look like you’re turning blue,” Hat said as she placed one of her small hands on Snatcher’s.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Blue? Kid, I already told you, blue doesn’t suit me,” Snatcher groaned, pulling his hand out from underneath Hat Kid’s. With claws still pressed to his forehead, he slipped out his doorway, and looked down at the mote that surrounded his home.

Sure enough, what Hat Kid had said was true. His cheeks were turning a dark blue hue. That had certainly never happened before.

Hat kid stepped over to the ghost, careful not to fall into the water.

“Maybe you’re sick. Can ghosts get sick?”

Snatcher shook his head.

“No, that would be dumb. And impossible.”

#ahit #a hat in time #a hat in time snatcher #hat kid #queen vanessa #a hat in time hat kid #ahit hat kid #ahit vanessa #ahitsnatcher #snatcher #the snatcher #sickfic #whump #my writing #dadtcher

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exodusmc · 5 years ago

Text

Stars in his eyes

Genre: smut, college au

Words: 3875

Paring: San x reader

Warning!: semi public, light dirty talk, fingering, some pet names, penetrativ sex, protected sex, hickeys, hair pulling, drinking.

a/n: I do not have a thing for public stuff...Kinda new to ateez so..

Gif is not mine

He laughed way too loud in the library, angry glances and words coming his way in an instants. He understood, it was a library he was currently in after all, trying to diseifer some history texts. A blush grew over his cheeks and suddenly was he aware about everything around him, every little move. Mingi and Yeosang stared at him, smirking at his embarrassment, which was fueled by Mingi’s quiet words.

“Y/n’s here...if you wanted to know” San could die right there, it would be less painful. Timid glances went through the room, over faces, until it found yours. You looked kinda pissed and San’s mood fell all the way to the bottom. Another reason for you to dislike him. Why is he so stupid?

You were quite annoyed with the loud boy, his laugh having disturbed your deep study, but what was to be waited by the loud smiling idiot? Nothing less. Signing were you standing and making a b-line for the door, having lost all the motivation for school. San sat with his friends and you sent him a displeased look, which falted when his sad eyes met your for just one second. He looked regretful and so down that your irritation faded to some sort of neutrality. You weren't his friend but hadn't really anything against him, besides his loudness. You signed again, deciding to stop thinking about the boy who shouldn't take room in your messy brain.

Days flew by and school slowed down for just one day, a friday. Your friends wanted to go out, you wanted to sleep and besides, a frat party weren't something that sounded so fun.

“Come on Y/n! This may be our last chance to have fun!” Junki whined over the phone, her high pitched voice drowning out Liz who you originally talked to.

“No it’s not” you deadpanned but none of them could see you. Liz chuckled over the line.

“It’s not far from the truth..I’ll be at yours in about half an hour and I’ll drag you out if you're not done” Junki squealed in excitement and the call was cut.

“Of fucking course…” you would never get out of this one but if you got them drunk could you escape before 1 am and the gross frat boys.

“Looking good!” Junki ran to you,her hair bright and falling over her shoulders. Her clothes small but she looked nice. Your tight lipped smile made her frown slightly.

“Why are you so sour?!” Liz came in view after a second, eyes hiding behind thin glasses.

“Maybe because I don't want to be here?” this time could they see you deadpanning at them. Music blasted through the house to your right. Bodies moving in and out, you could already smell all the sweat. It ached in your soul to go home again, to your pizza and away from all the annoying classmates.

“Then why are you so dolled up?” Liz comment made you hiss at her and Junki giggle.

“Don't lie to us Y/n! You want to be here!” she laughed so loud making you regret taking the skirt and top you had chosen.

“Maybe she is so nicely dress because of someone special, hmm?”Liz smirked and was so wrong.

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I’M NOT DRESS UP FOR ANYONE!” you screeched at them, having none of it.

“Sure, tell that to San” your face heated up at his name, why? You weren't sure, it’s not like you like him.

“You like San? The history major?” Junki looked surprised but soon changed to smug anime girl like expression.

“No!” there was an urgency in your voice and it sounded so pathetically obvious that you could like him, so obvious you wanted to hit yourself.

“He-he’s annoying and loud!” your cheek puffed and both your friends looked knowingly at you as the three of you finally step inside the hell hole.

“Sure Y/n, let’s see about that when you have his tongue down your throat” you gaped at Liz, completely taken by her bluntness. No way in hell would that happen!

San sat in a corner, sulking. Ever since he had seen you in the library had he been like that, because he liked you and had for a while. It’s not like the two of you had many classes together or was in the same friend group. It was just the way you smiled so bright, the way you seemed to hate everyone but actually care very deeply instead, well for everyone but him. San wondered what he could have done to make you dislike him, he couldn't really think of anything, besides the quite persistent stares you had caught. Maybe you thought he stalked you..

“Oh shit..”

“Something wrong?” Mingi asked, red cup in hand, his hair fluffy.

“I’m not a stalker!”

“Have someone suggest that?” San blushed. He needed alcohol and everything would be fine.

“No..” he practically ran from the corner, moving between dancing bodies. His goal was the kitchen but it was hard and too warm. He felt stressed and faces blurred.

The kitchen was dirty, cans and cups everywhere, and you. San stopped dead in his tracks, eyes following your figure. You were leaning into the fridge, not realising he was there. The boy didn't know what to do, his mind turned blank until the door closed and you turned. San was out in an instant, searching for an escape. He felt dizzy and in the wrong. He looked at you and you didn't know but it wasn't that bad either.

“San, you good?” Mingi came into view again, concerned, however, San could only see the cup in his hand.

“Can I have that?” he didn't wait for an answer just chugged down the bitter tasting liquid. A more pleasant warmth spread through his body and the panic drained from him.

“Yeah man, I’m fine” San were gone again while Mingi was left perplexed. He tried to find his friend but only saw you. Everything made sense and made it so much worse.

You weren't a lightweight but it didn't take much for you get wasted and that was what you currently were. Smiling and giggly, sitting in someone's lap. Liz and Junki were gone and you didn't care at all.

“You wanna dance?” the hottie asked and you nodded, letting him bring you up and into the disgusting ocean.

You two stood close, his hands ran over your body, igniting arousal in you. Dark locks hung over his eyes and you felt muscles flex under your light touch. You were so out of it to be honest, boredom hitting you halfway through song. Even if he was hot, was he not what you wanted..and it was embarrassing to accept what you wanted to have between your fingers because it would make Liz so smug.

“So what’s your name?” there was a slight slur to your speech but you still controlled your thoughts, well he controlled them.

“Ehm Josh..” you nodded lazily, drowning out the boy before you because you found San. He was standing in a corner, not happy like he usually are and you found yourself missing his wide smile, even his loud laugh. You hadn't thought about it earlier but his presence had somehow brighten up your days and you hadn’t even talked to him.

“Goddamnit San..”

“What?” you didn't answer, just slipped out of his grasping fingers, eyes on the boy who you thought annoyed you.

Of course...San stared at you, watching someone touch you like he wanted, feel you like he wanted. He wasn't drunk anymore, his pure bliss had slipped through his fingers. San found himself in a corner again, sulking. His mood was nothing like the others knew him to be but a broken heart can to that to someone. He could locate Yeosang in the ocean of bodies, the latter sending worried glances his way. San didn't want to stop them having fun but at the same time was the will to smile, even fake it, long gone.

“Whatever…” he mumbled to no-one, turning to find somewhere safe. Hands developed his torso, a body pressed against his back.

The boy turned back stunned. His wide eyes met yours, clearly drunk, but San couldn't believe you actually hugged him first. Something stirred in him, hot fires burning. Your fingers were dangerous, gliding over his arms. San just stood there, in your arms, gaping like a fish.

“Y/n!?” his voice made you giggle, look at him through hooded eyes, sin written all over you.

“Why is pretty boy not laughing like he always does, even in the library? Hmm?” San blushed furiously, remembering the moment. You hadn't really expected to see his eyes gloss over and small drops form in the corner of his eyes. Suddenly, you became sober and your hands went to his cheeks. The feeling of regret washed over you when San tried to shake of your hands. He could no longer look in your eyes.

“What’s wrong? San?” bangs hung over his eyes, hiding them, but you felt the soft tears roll from them.

“Nothing..” he choked out and your hands dropped from his face, just to take his hand, leading him away.

San soon stood a couple houses away from the party, hands in yours, and dried tears. You waited out him, staring up into the sky, hunting stars. The soft sniffles had stopped but you still held his hand, not completely sure why. Maybe some sort of feelings you had been representing finally overpowered your stubbornness.

“So..do you like stars? I really like them. They’re beautiful, every single one of them. I like to think of people as stars sometimes…” you started rambling, not noticing San’s loving gaze. It was weird to have you so close and it felt like he was your boyfriend because he held your hand. San softly sighed, not intending for you to stop but you did, locking eyes with him. It’s cheesy but it really felt like the world stopped for the both of you.

“...the stars” you finished your sentence, watching him, wondering. San leaned in before he could think, placing a soft kiss on your lips. His mind roared at him in anger, wanting him to stop but the feeling of your lips was overpowering.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, mouth ghosting yours, eyes closed.

“You okay?” San actually laughed, having heard that question countless times this night, but when he saw you smile was it not so hard to answer.

“I’m fine” some bitterness hid behind the words and you leaned forward, licking your lips.

San stared at you, felt the closeness of you. Hormones went wild in him and you plush lips made him remember their softness. He leaned right back at you, catching the shock in your eyes, only feeling proud and cocky in return.

“You know..I have always wondered why you hate me? Care to enlighten me?” confusion spread over you face, because you didn't hate him.

“I don't hate you. Why do you think that?” San blushed bright red, losing his dominance. He was sure you disliked him.

“But you always look so pissed!” you found him incredibly cute at the moment, giggling before lacing arms around his neck.

“Well I look like that all the time...But to be real, I probably have the opposite feelings for you” you stared at him, seeing the stars in his eyes, and he stared right back at you.

“Come” rapid stepps, racing through the night city. You felt giddy, laughing every turn you made, at every shrike San broke. You had no clue where you were going but felt like you were on the right track, the right track for your happiness, at least for the night.

To your surprise were you dragged up stairs of a building closer to the edge of the city. It was calmer here, more beautiful and a place where you never even cared for to see. The door to the roof swung open, revealing some chairs, a sofa under a makeshift shelter and a breathtaking view of both the city lights and the stars. You eyes blew open, mouth agape. You never knew the boring downtown could look so mesmerising. San stood close to you, smiling down at your expression.

“Where are we?” he chuckled, interwinding your fingers with his, heat raising on both your faces.

“I used to come here when I was little. No-one seemed to care for the roof nor the building either..” so the two of you were alone in a almost public place, anyone could actually see you or hear you, why was that a so big turn on?

“So why did you bring me here?” the smirk didn't go unnoticed by San, his fingers leaving your hand, just to lace in your hair, tugging lightly at it, making you look up at his full lengthy frame.

“Why do you think? Hmm?” you laughed, already deciding to be a tease but never getting a chance because San didn't think it was funny. He was not in the mood for bratty behavior. San ganked harder at you hair, making you gasp and finally take in his eyes, his blown pupils and lusty gaze.

“I asked What do you think?..Slut” he hesitated for a second, searching for rejection at his words but only found your face flush and eyes glossy in lust. It was all San needed to know that you were okay with those words, more than okay.

“To fuck me?” your throat felt dry, anticipation bruning in you.

“That’s what you want? Of course and in the open, where anyone can see you” you whimpered at his words, beyond turned on and falling fast from grace.

“Please...please touch me” your pleading did things to San, made him hard within seconds. It didn't help that he like you and you like him, it made everything so much more perfect.

“But you have all your clothes on, how am I supposed to touch you with them on?” your fingers found them hem of your shirt, disposing it fast, goosebumps forming on your skin at the cool air of the night.

“So eager..” San smirked, it didn't feel like all of this was happening, like it was a dream but no the less, he felt good. He dragged his hands down your sides, watching every face you made. Your skin was smooth and he wanted to taste it.

You ached for San to do something, prefengly kiss you but he bent down, mouth attached right above your navel, sucking lightly. You gasped, sensitive to every warm touch of his. San kissed his way up from your stomach, over your right breast, nipple wanting to be free, and up to your collarbone, where he stopped to suck. You could feel every mark he left over the skin, moving to the left one to litter it with purple as well. You whined, wanting more and for his shirt to come of. Hands tugged at it, only to be swatted away.

“I never imagined you to be so needy” he whispered against your ear, having you drooling. You wanted to answer back but his fingers slipped past your skirt and all that left your mouth was unintelligible sounds.

“So wet..” San throbbed in his pants at the feeling of your neediness, at the way you couldn't even speak.

The pad of his fingers dragged over your slit, pressuring on your clit but not enough. You whined louder, forgetting that you where in the open. San went back onto your neck, taking a deep breath before licking up it. You wrapped your arms around his nape, using him to keep you up right. Your pussy spasming painfully and his fingers was not enough. Your hips bucked against him, giving you a second to feel his hard on, whining at it.

“More~” San smiled down at your closed eyes, giving you what you wanted because you had been good and because he loved the face you pulled at it, every muscle contracting in the unexpected pleasure.

You felt so warm, a contrast to the chilling night air, and it was hard to keep incontrol for San. He needed for you to fall first, to have you cumming all over his fingers before his cock. You couldn't keep your eyes open, his thrusting digits hitting deep and hard, your pussy clamping down on them.

“Look at me..” San’s voice could have you undone and you fought to get them open, staring right at him. San couldn't believe the sight you were for him, already wearing a fucked out expression, saliva dripping down the side of your quivering mouth.

“Feel good?” the question was mocking you, making you tighter.

“Yes~” your voice rose an octave, thighs clenching around his hand. Something in your stomach dropped, legs shaking. San stared at you with intensity, working harder, scissoring his fingers as deep as he could in you.

You bit your under lip, almost drawing blood, when everything exploded. Hot white light flashing before your eyes, heart ringing in your ears. A whine slipped past your tongue, San yanking your head back to hear the end of your orgasm. It was beautiful to him, making his cock press tightly against his jeans. He felt you slacking in his arms, thrashing slightly to get away from his moving fingers.

“No-no more..” you gasped, close to falling down. San stopped, fingers still deep in your pussy, but not moving. He listened to your panting, watching your chest rise and fall. Your hair was messy due to his fingers, and he loved it.

“Did you cum?” it was obvious you did but he like seeing you embarrassed when he reminded you of what he did to you, how much control he had. “Answer.”

You whined out a yes, head falling to his shoulder. San smiled and pulled his fingers out of you, once again tugging at your hair.

“Open” his voice was dark and you knew exactly what he meant.

Your mouth opened, the wet muscle falling out as well. You tasted yourself on his fingers, sucking them deeper in. San watched at the way to took care of his fingers, being all messy. Your lips opened and closed around him and San imanged that it was something else you sucked so beautifully on. His goal was done, you had fallen for him. His cock twitched, demanding attention.

“Stop” you listened, submitting to him like nothing.”Move”

Soon were you leaning over the couch, legs wide and shaking at the cold air hitting your warm wet pussy. San’s hands were on you, the skirt pushed up to your waist. He dragged them over your cheeks and back, seeing all the hair raise on your body. He wondered if he went to far but you would say something if that was the case, hopefully would some great aftercare make up for his roughness. He squeezed one of your curves, seeing it turn colors for a second. You pushed against him, feeling the jean material against your cunt.

“Please..Can I have more?” your voice was high and San groped your butt tighter.

“More of what?” San sounded so sulterly, you almost screamed.

“More pleasure..Please” you didn't care you were begging like some bitch, you were to desperate to feel him fill you up.

“How do you want it” this time, you mewled out in annoyance: Hie teasing made you see stars, the same stars that had been in his eyes.

“I want your cock deep in me!” you screamed out, grip tightening around the couch, hopping to god no-one heard you.

“Okay sweetie” he chuckled at your misery and you tensed at the pet name.

The sound of a belt unbuckling had you dripping, the rip of plastic fueling it. You wanted to see him but the firmness of his hands told you to stay still. The tip of him stroked your still clothed core but it wasn't long until it ran through your folds directly. A soft moan left you, trying to urge him on. San could feel your warmth and had no problem slipping into you, the wetness making it easy. He groaned at how you tightened around him when he was completely inside you.

“Oh god” you clenched at his voice, wanting him to move now.

“Please San” he didn't wait a second to pound into you, hard and fast. San had been waiting for so long, he could explode immediately but fought it to hear you screams, still somewhat fresh of your first orgasm.

You didn't know what to do, feeling overwhelmed and wanting more. You jerked forward at San’s movements, breast pressing against the couch, giving more pleasure. Your hips would probably be bruised tomorrow at his grip but you loved it, never really experienced sex like this. He was big, reaching everywhere inside you. You could already feel the second orgasm creep from your nerves but wanted San to cum as well, so you clenched, hearing him hiss behind you.

“Naughty..” he moaned lowley, smashing your hips against his pelvis.

“I want y-you to cum with me..San~” his name sounded so good from your desperate mouth, it actually made him twitch inside you. San begun working harder, chasing your orgasm and his own. Hands gripped in your hair, forcing your back to arch, mouth agape.

“Come on baby..Cum over my cock” you whined out a moan, feeling him cum into the condom as well. Euphoria blessed you and you couldn't believed you had been annoyed at San once, he treated you so good.

He pulled out of you, watching you legs give in and collapse down on the sofa. San licked his lips, panting heavily but felt amazing. Sweat coated both of your bodies and the night air laid nicely around you. You relaxed onto the couch, breathing normally. San stood behind you, your skirt had fallen down.

“You okay?” his voice was so soft now, contrasting to how it was before. You felt San help you sit properly on the sofa, bringing you your shirt. San had dressed himself, arms around you when you too was clothed.

“Hmm..”you murmured to him, head placed on his shoulder. Fingers stroked your arm, lulling you to sleep. You were worn out and smiling at it. “Take me home. Take me home and stay with me”

You woke up with San’s arm around you, holding you close in his sleep and looking all cute. A soft smile grassed your features, a blush accompanying it with last night's events.

“What did I say” you sat up so fast you woke San, whos hair pointed everywhere. He was confused. You felt embarrassment drown you when you met Liz smug gaze, feeling bad for San.

“You couldn't even have believed yourself...The tongue thing wasn't wrong then?” she laughed, leaving you two alone and you turned to San, seeing him blush as well. But you just bursted laughing, him following after. You felt light close to him and he felt right close to you.

#san x reader #ateez san #ateez smut #san smut #ateez fanfic #kpop #ateez yeosang #ateez hongjoong #ateez wooyoung #ateez mingi #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez junho #college au #fanfic #i do not have a thing #for public stuff #atiny

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portalford · 5 years ago

Text

And I Need Somewhere to Begin

AO3

The kids left this morning, and Stan’s not sure what to do with himself.

The house feels so quiet without those little gremlins running around. He knows that’s been the default state of his (Ford’s) house for most of the time it’s been standing, but that’s apparently changed.

A lot has changed, these past few months.

Stan is still looking at the picture he keeps on his bedside table (Mabel grinning, mouth full of braces, her arm flung around a startled but smiling Dipper) when there’s a knock at his door.

Stan frowns, setting the picture carefully back on the table. “Soos, I thought I told you to go home.”

The door cracks open and a head that is decidedly not Soos’s pokes in. “Stanley?”

Some of the vague unhappiness he’s felt since he left the bus stop eases.

A lot has changed in these past few months, but it’s not all bad. There’ve been some good changes, too.

His brother is one of them.

“Don’t stand out in the cold, Sixer.”

Ford opens the door fully and steps in, closing it quietly behind him. “Your room is the same temperature as the rest of the house, Stanley.”

“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, sit down.”

Ford does, smoothing his coat out over his legs. He turns to Stan and looks him over. “How are you feeling?”

Stan almost waves him off with a stock “Never better,” but he stops himself. They’d promised to try and be more open with each other, to not repeat their mistakes. He settles for, “Eh. Not used to the quiet, I guess.”

Ford’s expression says he understands. He would — he’s had a lot less time with the kids than Stan has, but it didn’t take a week before they had him wrapped around their little fingers.

It took them less than five minutes to get Stan, but Ford doesn’t need to know that.

“It is pretty quiet here, with everyone gone. I could… blow something up in the basement, if it would help.”

Stan isn’t sure how much of that is teasing. Ford’s never been very good at it. He smiles anyway. “I’ll keep the quiet, thanks.” He waits a moment, but Ford doesn’t say anything. He came up here for a reason — Stan can see it in the way his brother picks at his fingers and glances Stan’s way when he thinks Stan won’t notice. Some of his memories are a little shaky, but Stan’s pretty sure he could read Ford before he could read English. “So I’m glad you’re not downstairs setting anything on fire, but what brings you up here?”

Ford’s hands go still for just a moment before they resume their twisting. “…I was thinking.”

“Well that’s a new one.” Ford scowls. Stan grins. “What were you thinking about?”

“Do you rem—” Ford visibly backtracks. “The other day, when we went to seal the last of the rifts.”

“You mean when we had to get Mabel back from the multiverse?”

“Yes. I was thinking about… what she told us.”

Mabel tells them a lot of things. “That if we see a version of her who hates rainbows we should throw her out?”

“What? No. Though if you happen to meet a version of me who’s oddly obsessed with Internet games—”

“So we’re definitely coming back to that one later,” Stan interrupts, “because I wanna hear every single detail, but right now I just want to hear what was so important you left your nerd work and came up here instead of just shouting at me from downstairs.”

“Yes, well.” Ford is silent for a long minute. Sometimes he forgets to use actual words instead of just thinking about what he wants to say. Stan wonders if there’s some kind of magic rock you can use to read minds, because it would make talking to Ford a lot easier. For now, though, he’s got years of practice and the willingness to try. He nudges Ford with his elbow.

“Earth to Ford.”

“What? Oh.” Ford’s quiet again, but Stan can tell he’s just gathering his thoughts, not getting lost in them. “I was thinking about what Mabel said when we found her. How we should start taking care of each other.” Ford shifts uncomfortably. “I thought you might have come up here to brood over the children leaving, so. I wanted to see.”

Translation: Ford came up here to check on him and make sure he was okay. Stan feels something in his throat that feels suspiciously like a tear lump, and he is definitely not going to cry because that’ll upset Ford.

Of course, staring silently at his brother after such a confession isn’t exactly making Ford comfortable either.

“You seem okay,” he says quickly, bouncing to his feet. “I won’t disturb— whatever you’re doing.”

“Whoa, Ford! Just give me a minute, yeah? Sit down.”

Ford eyes him suspiciously, but drops back onto the bed.

Stan clears his throat roughly. “You—you’re not disturbing me. Truth be told, heh, I was kinda thinking about the kids. Not brooding,” he clarifies, “just thinking. But it’s nice that you’re here now.”

Ford smiles, but it looks a little stiff and he won’t make eye contact. “I’ve been thinking as well, but more about my conduct these past few weeks. Well, years really. A lot of them.” Ford sits up straight and tucks his hands in his lap. “Stanley, I’ve been a terrible brother, and—”

“Yeah, no.” Ford’s tried this speech a couple times, and Stan’s shut him down just as many. “Ford, I already told you—"

“That doesn’t mean—”

“You spent half your life in sci-fi land getting chased by a demon, Stanford!” Stan’s still not entirely sure what Bill did to Ford over those thirty-plus years, but he’s seen and heard things from Ford that tell more of the story than Ford probably knows or wants. “You’ve spent your whole life trying to fix one stupid mistake.” I know what that’s like, he doesn’t say.

“Good intentions don’t matter if you don’t suit actions to them as well,” Ford mutters.

“Don’t people say, ‘it’s the thought that counts’? Let’s go with that instead.”

Ford’s still frowning and picking at his fingers. Stan puts his hand on Ford’s shoulder, making sure he’s got his attention. “You and me? We’re good, Ford. We’re gonna look after each other, like Mabel said.” He leans back, smiling at the picture on the table. “She’s gonna come after us if we don’t.”

Ford hesitantly smiles back. “I know. Just…” He trails off, looking frustrated.

Stan remembers this, too. Ford can talk for days about anomalies and science and everything and nothing, but ask him to explain what he’s feeling and it’ll take him half an hour of false starts and unrelated ramblings before he reaches the point.

“There’s just so much I wish I’d done differently,” Ford says wistfully. It makes Stan’s heart twist. “I wanted to make something of myself. To prove that I was more than—you know. But all I did was. Well.”

And none of that was a real complete thought, but Stan gets it anyway.

“I spent ten years trying to make a fortune because I thought it was the only way to get my family back.” Stan bumps Ford with his elbow. “Total waste of time, huh? All I had to do was learn theoretical physics.”

Ford smiles, clearly in spite of himself. “I still haven’t thanked you for that.”

Ford’s thanked him for that about eight times since Stan got his memories back, actually, but it always feels nice to hear it.

“Yeah, well, we were busy savin’ the world.”

“You saved the world, Stanley. You saved me.”

Ford’s said that a couple times, and it's one of those things that gets Stan thinking about what Bill might have done to Ford over the past thirty years — the way Ford looks at him when he says it, like Stan did something scientifically impossible.

Like Ford never expected to be saved.

It always makes Stan uneasy, but he pushes past it for now. “That triangle doesn’t get to mess with my family. That’s my job.”

Ford’s looking at his hands again. “I still… regret, that you had to take the fall for my mistakes.”

The apologizing was kinda nice at first, to be honest (or something close to it), but now it’s just. Tiring.

Stan’s done with apologies. Or at least this particular apology. They both probably owe each other a few contrite words for a few different events, but they’ve got to get there first.

“Fall nothin’. I’m still right here.” Ford opens his mouth to argue, but Stan’s ready for that. Yeah, his memories are shaky in some places, but he remembers how exhausting it was to disagree with Ford when Ford’s not in a mood to be disagreed with. Which, to be fair, is most of the time, but that just means Stan’s gotten really good at dodging this particular bullet. “How about we go downstairs and see what’s on? You’ve got thirty years of crappy daytime TV to catch up with.”

Redirection and compromise. Ford’s expression says that he knows what Stan is doing, that he knows Stan knows he knows what Stan’s doing, and that they both know Ford simply isn’t going to call him out on it.

“I don’t see why not,” he says instead. He smooths his fingers over his coat again, but doesn’t pick at it. “What was that show you and the kids were talking about? Duck detective?”

Maybe one of these days Stan will stop getting the warm fuzzies over Ford paying attention to stuff he says. Part of him sort of hopes it'll happen soon, because his tough and unaffected image is in serious danger otherwise.

The rest of him— most of him— hopes that day never comes at all.

“Ducktective, Poindexter.” Stan claps his hands together and stands up, wincing as his knee cracks. “It’s got some good mystery stuff — you’re gonna love it.” He hesitates just a moment, then offers Ford a hand.

Ford smiles, small and lopsided, but real.

“I think I might,” he says, and pulls himself up.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #stanford pines #stanley pines #my writing #it has been six thousand years since i wrote anything outside of academia and i have forgotten how to do it

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thiswasinevitableid · 5 years ago

Note

Could you maybe do sternclay with #57? :3 Stern needs Barclay hello him with cookies IMMEDIATELY

#57: You called me at two in the moring insisting that I come over and help you bake christmas cookies for the party tomorrow because you forgot to make them earlier and need help now.

(I tweaked it slightly for the set-up)

Beepbeepbeep

Barclay blinks awake in a panic. That is definitely a smoke detector. His faculties return enough to clue him in that it’s not the one in his apartment, but rather the one below him.

It’s probably nothing. His downstairs neighbor sometimes gets home late, and makes (or burns) dinner at odd hours. Still, Barclay would prefer to check and have it be no big deal than go back to bed only for said bed to collapse through the floor into the fiery inferno below an hour later.

He pulls on his green, plaid bathrobe and walks the short flight of stairs to 32B. It takes a few moments for his knock to be answered. And he’s unprepared for the sight that greets him when it is.

Joseph Stern is the epitome of buttoned up; Barclay’s never seen him in anything less formal than a button shirt and slacks, even on the weekends. His black hair is always slicked back, allowing Barclay an unfettered view of his movies-star handsome cheekbones and bright blue eyes. He’s certain Stern doesn’t know how badly he’d like to dig his fingers into the gelled strands and pull them loose, how he looks forward to the times Stern invites him in for tea if they arrive home at the same hour, how weirdly relieved Barclay feels that he’s never heard or seen a sign that Stern’s brought a date home.

Which is why the man who opens the door makes Barclays imagination spin out like a car on the ice.

Stern’s hair is mussed, he’s in a white t-shirt and bigfoot-patterned pajama pants, and there’s a streak of white across his cheek. He turns red as soon as he glimpses Barclay.

“I’m so sorry, the alarm woke you up I assume?”

“Yep. Just, uh, just wanted to check to see if everything was okay.”

“Nothing’s on fire, if that’s what you mean.”

“You sure? Still smells kinda smoky-”

Beepbeepbeep

“Shit.” Stern dashes back towards his kitchen, leaving an open door and a confused Barclay behind him.

Barclay crosses the threshold, shutting the door and then jumping when a narrow head and beady eyes peer at him from the dark bedroom

“gAH!”

Stern stops waving a piece of junk mail at his smoke detector to address the eerie shape, “It’s alright Nessie, your idiot owner just burnt some cookies.”

A greyhound pokes itself into the living room, collar jingling as it cautiously approaches Barclay.

“Hey there, friend.” Barclay coos, lets the narrow, wet nose investigate him as he walks into the kitchen, “Cookies, huh?” He takes in the messy counters, the pile of bowls in the sink, and the plume of smoke escaping the oven.

“Yes. I have a holiday party to attend tomorrow and I was already in bed when I remembered I agreed to bring cookies.”

“Can’t you just buy some before you go?”

“I considered that, believe me. But, well, it’s at a house where I know my ex will be attending, and he would just love the chance to point out to everyone how I’m too busy to even make cookies for the people I care about.”

“Jesus, what a dick.”

Stern laughs, a sound only he could make dignified, “That’s the understatement of the decade. And the reason it’s two in morning and my kitchen is full of smoke from cookies I clearly did not make correctly.”

Barclay examines the cookie sheet. It’s contents are one giant blob.

“Well, looks like your batter was too liquid so it spread and dripped off the sheet. That’s what started burning. Do you still have some left?”

Stern nods toward a silver mixing bowl. Barclay peers in, then grabs a nearby quarter cup measure and the bag of flour.

“This is a pretty easy fix. Here, I can get this sorted out if you can get the gunk out of the oven when it cools.”

“Right, of course.” Stern kneels down, searching beneath the sink through a stash of cleaning supplies, shooing Nessie away when she gets perilously close to the bleach bottle.

Barclay adds flour to the cookie batter and turns on the mixer. It takes a little tweaking, but soon it’s looking how it needs to. His lingering grogginess turns on his autopilot, and he flours up the rolling pin and starts pressing down the dough.

“Why are you helping me?” Stern asks softly.

“Just being neighborly, I guess.”

“It is two a.m, the apartment still smells like burnt dough, and you must have work at the bakery in the morning. You don’t need to stay. I care about our friendship Barclay and I’d hate you to resent me for this. You should go.”

“Yeah, I guess, even though I have the evening shift tomorrow. But I kinda want to stay. I like making cookies, and you could clearly use a little help. Unless you, like, need me to go, in which case I can.”

“I’d prefer the company, honestly. I can’t think of many things more pathetic than a grown man frosting Christmas cookies by himself in the dead of night.”

Barclay sets the rolling pin aside, rests a hand on either of Sterns shoulders, and smiles down at him, “Okay, how about this then: you plug in those lights you’ve got up and put on some water for tea and some music, and then come and help me make these? That still sound pathetic?”

“On the contrary” Stern meets his gaze, eyes regaining some of their shine, “it sounds wonderful.”

——————————————

The clock reads 3:30 a.m by the time they’re frosting at the table. After he agreed to stay, Stern became immediately calmer, and has moved from that to downright chatty. He looks even more handsome by the glow of his christmas lights, and has made Barclay laugh more times than he can count. Barclay’s crush is only intensifying as a result.

Stern opted for tubes of premade frosting to simplify things, and he’s busy decorating tree-shaped cookies with the green while Barclay tackles the star cookies with the white.

“Anyway, that’s how come I named her Nessie. I actually had–ugh, why isn’t this coming out–a hamster named “Hodag” when I was youngAH!” The bag explodes, splatting sugary green goo over both men.

“Shit, I’m so, so sorry.” Stern scrambles for a napkin.

“Really not your night, huh?” Barclay chuckles as he undoes his now-frosted bathrobe and tosses it on an empty chair.

“Clearly, good lord, I wasn’t even squeezing that…”

“Everything okay?” Stern’s eyes have gone worryingly wide

“Yes.” Stern breathes out.

Barclay shivers. Which is how he remembers that he’d gone to bed shirtless. And that Stern hasn’t stopped staring.

He grins, “Like what you see?”

“Let’s just say my night has been greatly improved by seeing it.” Stern steps around the table, draws the napkin along Barclays neck, trying to remove a stray splotch of green.

“Agh, why is this stuff so hard to get off?”

“Dunno, must be whatever dye they use-oh, oh fuck.” A warm tongue laps at his neck, and the spot is gone in an instant.

“It appears we’ve just found an efficient way of removing it.”

“Uh huh.” Barclay cups Sterns cheek, kisses him as gently as his jackhammer of a heart will allow.

“Is this really okay?” He whispers. He needs to know, he has to be certain, because Stern is relaxed and melting into his arms and if he fucks that up by moving too fast he will never forgive himself.

“It’s perfect.” Stern nuzzles his beard, “I’d, uh, I’d very much like to keep kissing you until I fall asleep.”

“Think I can manage that. Go get cozy, babe, and I’ll join you in a sec.”

Stern kisses his cheek and heads into the bedroom. As Barclay packs up the cookies, the dark-haired man reappears with a puzzle toy and a dog bed, which he sets in front of the heater so they won’t be disturbed.

By the time Barclay is done, Stern is waiting for him under the covers, sans his frosting covered shirt. Barclay snuggles up in his arms, kissing him slow and soft, learning and memorizing the ways to draw little sighs of pleasure from his lips. Sterns eyelids droop first, and he falls asleep in Barclays arms. He strokes his back gently before dropping off himself.

And in the morning, they have cookies for breakfast

#agent stern/barclay #sternclay #winter au #prompt fills

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elementric · 5 years ago

Text

WAKE UP CALL

So I had a sit down with myself and was wondering and daydreaming as I always do. Either I’m with my phone talking to my best friends, as I just have a few. I can literally count down all my friends on one hand, as I always think it is very unnecessary having lots of people or friends around. However, as I’m not right now on my phone, I most probably making or listening to music. My strange affection to music and the never-ending desire to listen to it - insanity. Yes, I don’t watch movies nor I watch series if you ask yourself right now. Neither, or less apart of proceeding with my normal daily routine due to the fucked up lockdown. I had an insight within me, I was wondering on this particular day;

Us as humans why are we constantly so sad and why don’t we refuse the sadness in order to be happy. As the clear opposite of sadness is happiness and so vice versa.

So I dived deeper into the thought, I came to the conclusion that most of the time, it is a matter of being stuck in the past and considering that the future will be exactly the same without even realising the present. To be honest, in the time when I thought about it, I been again catching myself in the spam of going back into my depressive and suicidal behavior. Feeling worthless and ugly, feeling I would just deserve shit as I’m shit.

So I lied down in bed, it felt as someone sat on my chest and someone else just squeezed my stomach, I was screaming internally at myself to shut up and moved around in bed. “Worthless, so worthless you are, never someone will love you, as you can’t even love yourself” my Ego shouted at me, as my ego is getting very satisfied when I’m down and depressed because then mostly I do very reckless things when this happens or better what my ego is used to be doing, for example begging for attention, begging for approval. I couldn’t feel anymore, numb everything around me was numb like me. I could just feel how everything turns darker around me in my head in my heart. Only my Soul, just my soul shacked me and tried to shut up my ego, like a mother protecting her child.

Very important to understand, my soul is me, my soul is the being I am and I did so much hard work to clear Karma to clear old patterns and to clear pain within me and fall in love with the host my soul has decided for this lifetime.

It sounds so strange when I say oh I’m not a body, I’m a soul. Which is totally a fact, how would you otherwise function, the body the material body has just what 02 chromosomes more as a potato so the physical body is nothing else as an upgraded potato if you ask me. So I would never want to consider me being some sort of a body, I consider me more as a soul which has a body.

I’m a soul, hosted in a human body.

Anyway, so what happened to me, of course, I was in pain with myself, suffering in my own safe place which is my bed with all the demons around me laughing at me and my ego like the King of the world the king of my world laughing the hardest and loudest, of course. I decided to stand up from bed it was 4 a.m in the morning and walked around in the apartment. I had to throw up as I felt so horrible, in one second I thought I die or something like that. I brushed my teeth and made myself a coffee.

I sat down, took a deep breath and realized;

All that I feel, all that is going on within me, is not me, it is not the present me. It is not the woman who fought herself to a self-confident, aware, beautiful creation of mother earth. I realised very quickly that what is bothering me is the past, the past is bothering me, understanding in this situation as well; I have met an incredible man, he is gold, gold is next to him worthless, that great he is. To add on back in 2017 - 2018 I was in an extremely abusive relationship where I got shattered in pieces, mid of 2018 I had the courage to leave this guy I left different as I entered. I was disturbed, scared and full of anxiety; Can someone just imagine how much strength it took to pull my shit together, while my parents separating, my sister in war with me and no real friends? But there I was again refusing to give up and fought myself and fixed myself to the point where I’m right now. Pretty obviously, I would never allow anything or anyone to break me down, because just I know what took to stand on both feet strong my ground.

Ok, let me come to the point, I realised at this point while having my morning coffee that the past is what makes me feel like how I feel right now. Used to the idea that anyway - man ain't shit, man will hurt and all man are the same. But this time, I took myself together refusing my toxic experiences to take over me and stood up for myself and said; Try me this time motherfucking Ego, try me this time motherfucking past. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely thankful for my past as the past made me be me and I would not change one single bit of it. So I left to my car and drove up to the mountains, I live in the land of the desert so it is piss hot! But I wanted to be around the mountains, I wanted nature because I know there I find my peace. So I reached the hidden place my best friend and I always go to, to chill and get drunk (FUCKING LOL). I walked up the about million stairs to reach the bridge which connects two mountains and to overlook this beautiful scenery of crystal blue water and sandy warm looking rocks. I set down and started to meditate, I knew I was not alone as the spirits which live there tried to connect to me, in some weird point, they wanted to calm me too, my soul was crying and begging me to pull myself together, so no wonder why those spirits tried to help. After an hour of meditating, I left-back and then turned to see my best friend, because that mofucker is my best fucking friend he understands me. On the way to my best friend, I felt something tickeling my face and it was a spider. I freaked out for a second, but I realised this little thing is a sign from the universe, maybe from the mountain spirits? The spider is a sign to keep moving forward. Anyway, I reached my best friends place had a chittychat and left back home.

What I want to say overall, it is ok to feel sad and it is totally ok to be a bit depressed and even more, it is ok to feel scared that might the entire world want to harm you.

But you know what is not ok? Feeding your ego that this is the "only" truth, numbing your soul that this is the only way. Depressions are hard to battle and just I know how long it took me to realise what is the best way out for me, first I always refused medications and I thank my Mom big time for it. So what helped me is to allow the feelings and just forcing myself to do tasks, getting a routine (It isn’t necessary working for everyone)

Next thing panic attacks, good Lord somewhere above or beyond what all it took me to find the perfect way out of it. (Try to counting down all you are blessings or what you are thankful for even it is "I'm thankful for my shoe or sock", it helps, it helped me also the same method can be used for anxiety attacks).

Overall the hardest of all ego demons are the suicide thoughts, the one which makes you think if I’m dead everything would be just better, but I kinda have really bad news overall your 02 more chromosome potato body dies but your soul is immortal and bad karma will be transferred into the next life, even if you don’t believe so but apparently that's a side fact. So basically to understand the soul is who you are, brain - ego - I am - is not who you are. (Let this sink in and take your time for it)

We all got hurt so badly, we all experienced losses some of us might get bullied in school at work and some of us might live with different forms of harassment, assault, or even abusive.

If you are in school and you know that those stupid fucks could not accept you because the way you are, trust me YOU ARE SPECIAL THOSE FUCKERS ARE JUST a copy past of the society expected from them. But once you are home dress up like you want, makeup yourself how you want don’t hesitate. I created a Tumblr block to live my true self and I prove you that not even one single follower knows me personally. I took the decision because, sister/brother same, I feel like you, not understood by the world who is close to me.

When you are in a work environment who is toxic then think of looking for a new job, no regrets, trust in the process - STRAIGHT TALK - If you want to find a new job you will find one. When you are suffering a toxic relationship and you can’t leave then breathe deep in and allow yourself to gather all the strength it needs to leave, I know how it feels and trust me your friends and/or family is there no matter what. When you are sick then remember that you will be healthy again, when you are suffering a mental disorder understand that it is your ego ruling you and it is ok. I guess the worst thing nowadays what is happening in our society is that there is no more acknowledgement and just comperazim without realising the beauty within us. No one tells anybody anymore - WELL DONE - I'M PROUD OF YOU - even if just a small baby steps forward. And trust me it makes me sick! Because I just can't understand what is so hard in order to acknowledge the great process, basically every step forward is a step in the right direction. So if no one acknowledge you, start acknowledge yourself. FUCK WHAT PEOPLE SAY.

I just want to say that the way you are made is the way you supposed to be and there is no harm in embracing it. Just keep in front of you always; even if this seems the end but it isn't, trust the process and trust the inner voice inside you. Keep in your mind - this too shall pass.

I kinda just sank into my words and hope that some of you will be really inspired by it and seek out for help, not from me but maybe from friends and family. I just want every single person to understand that there is nothing wrong with you, you are unique the way you are. Numb yourself of the ego, numb yourself away from bad people and open your ears to the kind words of your soul.

I hope that one day the light will shine through your eyes so bright that all that sickos out there will be blinded.

If no one said that today, if I might don’t know you, the only answer in this life is Love. Not love from humans to human it is Love for everything. Being in Love with the world with the life and with your soul and 02 more chromosome potato body.

Elementric - Mind

#mind #think #soul #mentalheal #depression #anxiety #help #suicide #motivation #talktome #love #human #society #bully #post #element

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