#sorry. 4 times this week? on god?
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.
#my ocs#hello yes see i draw#I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia
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day 3 no ibuprofen i am suffering
#surgeon is making me stop ibuprofen for 4 weeks XD 2 wks before and 2 wks after surgery#i think ive complained abt it on here already like i understand it is because it can mess with bleeding but oh my god#naturally. i am having a flare up of joint pain :) and a migraine that makes it feel like im being shot in the head#m whole body hurts like it wants me to die#im still allowed to take tylenol but all tylenol does is make me feel sick ueeuueueeueu it doesnt help my pain at all becaause so much of i#is from inflammation#top surgery will improve my life so so so much but it is going to be hellish trynig to slog through my fucking chronic pain disorder#also i <3 my surgeon and her team but during my preop i repeated (was already meant to be in my file but wasn't) how much ibuprofen i take#and the medical assistant literally GASPED and said WOW. THATS A LOT! and started lauughing and im like yayyyyy wow i had noooooo idea ive#been taking unhealthy amounts of it jsut for shits n gigs!#like do you think im dealing witht he drawbacks of taking 800-2400 mgs of ibuprofen daily for FUN? you think i wouldnt give anyhting to not#have to take it????#anyways rant over sorry karl i know ur the only one reading this#maybe discodildos i dont really know you but you like my posts from time to time
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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.
#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru#these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on#but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago#except for eduardo's plot#it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things#no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie#yet lol. same dynamics mostly#only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict#& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation#ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg#finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from#a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to#b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel#the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4#anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder#but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive#need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience#need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros#need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears#all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry#EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN#rambles#pulang araw#putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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#SORRY im mad about my stupid college again#WHY do they require so many internhip hours??????#no wait i KNOW why. bc the chef who runs the program is EVIL AND STUPID#he literally thinks he as a chef is gods gift to this earth. he thinks CHEFS are gods gift to this earth but only if they agree with him.#however. gods gift to this earth do NOT deserve breaks. ('chefs dont get breaks' is a direct quote)#he thinks all chefs should work like dogs and SUFFER. and the industry should never change#and he loves the power of being the program head. (and most students' advisor)#and he can say im preparing you to be the best!!!!! and get away with it#and he doesnt respect pastry chefs. and guess what i am hahahah#like i know the culinary industry is toxic and most chefs are jerks. but bakeries are very different from restaurants#so i thought i could handle some jerky chefs during school and get my degree and go work in a bakery#(i can handle some jerky chefs)#the problem was that a jerky chef ran the program as if you were already working in the worst restaurant environment imaginable#and he only taught like everyone wanted to be world renown chefs of 5 star parisian restaurants that take 4 years to get a reservation#(which is crazy that he thinks hes qualified to get other people to that level but ok.)#and thats great for people who want that! but some people (me) just want a cute little bakery!#also ! its advertised as a 2 year associates program#which. is true that you'll only get an associates degree out of it#but 2 years is including summer semesters. sorry i don't think thats how that works. i think thats 3 years#2 years for people who decide to do extra and take summer semesters.#and i think the only realistic way to complete the internship hours is to take an off semester and only do the internship#so you're not doing it at the same time as classes#but that adds a minimum of 1 semester and maximum 2#or if you cram the spring and fall semesters to have summer off and do the internship during summer#summer semesters are shorter. so youd have less weeks to complete the same amount of hours#it is simply not a 2 year program for the average person!!!!!!#i was IN COLLEGE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!! AND I ONLY TOOK 1 (ONE) PASTRY CLASS!!!!!! I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!#and what do you MEAN you expect me to be in college for 3 years and only get an associates degree out of it. no thank you#its almost like...... an associates degree requires 2 years of schooling........ and theres too much happening in this program.......#bc the man in charge of it is power hungry and wants to control people and thinks chefs need to be beat into shape.......
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Rips a door off its hinges
#sorry i thought about how theres been no glasses chiaki for ... 5 years and 4 months *Lights cigar#I MISS HIM I IMISSHIM#not directly related but this made me thikn of how i rmbr when meteor impact came out off the top of my head#bc my dad died during the same weekso its just. the samea moutn of time since then#id dint veen know what enstars was back then but thats always been so funny to me when i realized this. Crazy as fuck week on earth#thank God i didnt enstar back then My life would have been exponentially more over#anyways point is he needs glasses comeback. PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEE
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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doing this extra thing for work where i'm gonna be working the occasional thursday night which is like honestly cool whatever but the BIGGER news is. this means i'll be able to run a road half marathon this summer. HUGE but also STRESSFUL. but also so exciting!!!!!
#i was thinking about doing this rando 10mi race bc there weren't any halfs that worked with my work sched but NOW THINGS CHANGE#and like truly. god knows on the time rw says i should try to hit..but maybe!#now i'm looking at my march marathon and wow did i run a reverse split holy shit#i ran a 2:05:46 first half and a 1:58:05 second half?????#i knew i ran a reverse split but i didn't know the extent until rn jfjffjf#my last marathon i didn't run a half i ran a 17k extremely hilly race. which was super fun#but i was also going for under. 4:30. which i was not really that worried about actually hitting. i'm much more concerned/focused now...#but i loveeeeeee the half distance.#this coming week i think i will go to the rando speed workout on monday and then wed will do a fartlek....?#tetrapod runs#SORRY THAT THIS IS TAKING UP MY BRAIN WAVES. i just need to get the whole schedule set and then work towards my goals. u know#TONGITH frisbee tourney. IF someone can commit to giving me a ride....#which seems. not very likely as of right now. but i made potluck pasta salad!
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how do you ask your roommate to leave surfaces generally in a clean and working order. not even talking about clutter but like oil and grime and shit
#he is my age. at the throats of parents who dont teach their male children to clean#god knows im not perfect at this but at least i have immense social anxiety about putting my own obstructive messes in front of other peopl#id like to state for the record that im not angry or upset over this . just frustrated that im doing a) more home maintenance work than him#and b) more home maintenance work than i did living on my own#and im like 2-3x as busy. get 2-3x less sleep. developing stress conditions etc etc#he does stuff when i ask him to in a good enough kinda way but also i hate asking 👍👍👍👍👍 i hate asking so fucking bad#this close to asking him to just hire a cleaning service on his weeks to clean despite the fact that he makes like almost half of what i do#augh#anyway im fine . ive been crocheting a project due at the end of the month for 4 hours straight sitting on the living room carpet#id sit on my couch but like i have a thing about touching peoples beds and hes asleep on it half the time 😭#incidentally. yes thats why im in the living room instead of my room lmaoooo#ugh ok anyway anyway. ''you live like this?'' yes sorry i just need to talk to him but our schedules are really incompatible l#and im always the one pestering him about stuff like hes never asked me to do anything . so i feel bad. this is my own fault. i know this#just need to complain somewhere because my ass is numb lol this isnt a cushiony carpet
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I really don't want to be annoying but when is the next glass princess update coming?
Have a nice day btw 💕💓
it’ll come once i write it
#if you’re a new follower then please note i rlly don’t post consistently#at ALL lmao one of my fics was on a hiatus for a year (pomegranate ink readers you are god’s strongest soldiers)#it takes me about a day or two to write a chapter and i post that same day so i cannot say in advance when i’ll next update#i also write if/when i feel like it and for the fics i have inspiration for at the moment#and i have a real life too which is always my number one priority#ik i was posting pretty frequently for tgp for a while but i do not have that time and drive atm#i wrote over 100k words in less than a month for that fic#if i only updated once a week then that’s about 18 weeks or roughly 4 months of chapters#sorry for the rant and anon i’m glad you enjoy the story sm but#getting this type of ask frequently for a story that was updated literally less than two weeks ago is tiring#answered asks
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haven’t finished a book in weeks. haven’t written a word for fun in a month. god what have we come to
#i’m currently reading interview with the vampire which is ironic because anne rice hated fanfic and look at who i am#but i want to watch the show and also read mayfair witches and watch that show#i have like 4 final essays and presentations to do#to anyone who followed me for my writing i’m so sorry and also i love you#i graduate college in like. 3 weeks?#and i’m only doing grad school part time so#free time perhaps? spare free time? anyone#anyone got spare free time to give me#god i hope so
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i need to get out of this house so so bad
#snac munches#don't open tags i'm ve/nting ok#432462464362#231321421421#43243242352#etc. to block it#sorry if these are actual tags somehow. my bad#i will not go into details but this blogger may not be here by the week#literally just staying in this house with 3 other people#staying in 1 room all day#no job no money no food friends moved on#like what do i even do#my mom is the only one of those 3 that talks to me and it's never about me#never [how are you feeling] [do you wanna go out] [wanna do something together?]#just about my future so much pressure GOD#i never thought i'd have one of those i thought i'd be dead before 16#Can i have a moment. Pelase#and i TRY i try to get out of my room#i spend time with my mom but it's so one-sided#i listen to her when she talks and i watch shows with her and go places she likes#the moment i bring up one of my interests she brings out her phone or goes [i wasn't listening what?]#Mann I Couldn't even get anything for my birthday sobbing#And now that i think abt it my mom didn't get me anything either?? i get that we're short on money but like#i didn't even get a [happy birthday]#And we've been infested with beetles for 4 YEARS nothing's been done#I am at my limit fr#a2t#<- jic
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also GOOD NEWS turns out the One Week Until Eviction scare was just a false alarm and surprise surprise ✨lack of communication ✨ where as i texted her back for clarification but she said everything is fine and i aint being evicted bc she lied to the higher ups??so fuck it we ball ig its good to know she rlly does have my back to some strange extent so im still girlbossin here for another year and will have more time to build credit and look into the science of buying a house sksks
ALLL THAT BEING SAID i will start the next comic section later this week 4 SURE
#not complaining in the slightest but she very much couldve texted me again within those 4 days to say just kidding BECAUSE UHHH#''ur good honey i just lied to them☺'' me 5 suicidal meltdowns and 10 applications to any available housing later:😬oh ok great!!!!#like woman i was fully ready to accept that theres not a bitch on earth who will show me mercy to any extent and that the world is a cold#unrelenting hell to survive in for the past 4 DAYSSSS which i mean is right but ig its not completely that???#like a ''oh nevermind sorry false alarm'' text literally anytime after wouldve work just dandy sksksks plz#like i was rlly out here thinknig she deliberately basically sentenced me to inevitable homelessness for all she knows out of nowhere LIKE#i think im above the genetic Crazy Bitch Disease#but then i catch myself calculating the most inconvenient place in my apartment for my body to decompose in '''''for revenge''''''#if i couldnt move out in time like what in gods name is this radioactive elephants foot of a brain#plus idk how solid her excuse of not having good internet reason is to keep me here for another year so either way#after this im finding somewhere more solid to live bc i cant deal with this type of thing AGAIN lmfao#like bro u cant just make me think the happiness and peace that ive felt for the first time in my life is going to be reversed bc i have to#move back into that godforsaken house with that pos bc i Literally had no time to find another place and the amount of time that takes#BUT oh well its all good and she's still cool for a land lord so im good im good#the past almost week been crazy as hell
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how do i start setting firm boundaries with this kid in my club who keeps making unfunny jokes and taking over the whole meeting and pissing me the fuck off without like dragging down the vibes of the entire thing. because i did not manage it tonight, i got genuinely hostile and killed the vibes👍
#he is in the wrong here like fucking. if theres four people in ur club meeting for the week#and you say ‘hey put on this clip of this brutal saw trap’#and one of the other people (1/4 of the group!) says ‘i do not want to see that’#i think u r an asshole for insisting on watching it! and making me have to awkwardly sit in the hall cause just hearing the audio made me#feel nauseous!#lime.txt#sigh. he also just like. he doesnt mesh with the group he’s a first year but he acts like a middle schooler#i get being a fucking 18 year old guy and joining a niche media club and like not understanding feminism#but when other people make pretty clear that they are uncomfortable with something you are doing. quit fucking doing it#and i swear to god he keeps making us watch nu metal music videos#like today he did it TWICE every fucking time we start talking about something else#like me and this other guy started talking about gundam and he was explaining in depth why he was disappointed w the turn the 2nd season#of iron blooded orphans took and i was like omg interesting and he was like was gwitch good and then i was like yeah its an homage to rgu#and literally mid conversation this other kid puts a fucking linkin park music video on the tv and makes us all watch it. like fuck offfffff#sorry im genuinely too mad to do my work rn i need to destress im gonna have some cereal
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goddamn i am. exhausted <3
#not even like sleepy or anything#my brain has just been running nonstop for Weeks at this point#and i would. like it to stop <3#my body feels like its on fast forward and time is so slow because of it#like its barely 4:40pm but my brain says it should be like 6pm because of how it Wont Shut Up#sorry for the rant in the tags but oh my god. im exhausted can it all just stop please and thank you#kai.txt#negativity tw#<- not exactly but just in case ppl dont want to see me complaining lmao
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