#sorry yoh :(

[the-oracle-of-the-lost]

Star Trek Voyager & Hugs

suggested by @mephistopheles

[androdragynous]

I know i complained about the stardew valley penny and George cutscene at length but the it really is fucking. bizarre the lengths people will go to defend it because "the game lets you pick to side with him" (please do literally any reading about wheelchair use and realize why it's a problem that the game rewards you for moving someone without their consent.) or variants of that sentiment but then it's like. the rest of the cutscene is also So Weird

Like. Penny moves an old man in a wheelchair without asking him. He gets upset, she asks if you saw what happened The game prompts you to select from;

"I was. You did a kind thing there, Penny." (+50 friendship with Penny)

"I was. You should've asked instead of assuming George wanted help." (-50 friendship with Penny)

"I'm just taking a walk, minding my own business." (No effect on friendship.)

And these are the REVISED options. Before 1.4, the second option wasn't"you should have asked", it was "You should've left him alone. Now he's grumpy."

So already it's kind of shit. The person she's upset - who's entire existence in the game is experiencing inaccessibility, let's be real - because he was shoved without permission just for being in a wheelchair doesn't have his friendship level affected at all.

Regardless of which answer you pick, George apologizes (Penny does not apologize in every choice! But the guy she shoved does!) and says she was kind.

Once he's gone, she talks about how hard it must be to be old. It's worth noting, for what it's worth, that George has been using a wheelchair since a mining accident caused his immobility; it's not a result of age, and you learn about this whole he struggles with a bookshelf in his own home, where presumably he has been living with a wheelchair for at least two decades (given how he talks about his grandson), which is a whole different can of worms because why is this never addressed in a fictional community with multiple craftspeople who frequently do projects for each other?

Anyways. So Penny's like, damn, sucks that he's old. And the options the game gives you - all neutral in terms of friendship points - are:

"I'd rather not think about it."

"It's just a different part of life."

"That's why we should respect our elders."

"I'd rather die young..."

Like are you kidding me? You have a cutscene that's about being disabled - it's not about aging, because his disability was not caused by aging, it is explicitly and directly about the fact that he is in a wheelchair. And the game assumes your opinions will be "Not my problem,", "That's an old people thing,", and "I'D RATHER BE DEAD"? And this is something people just... don't remark on? Even in conversations ABOUT this cutscene? Like, George's mentions of being disabled are already Constantly Miserable -able-bodied writer standard quality - but the game is just like. Yeah you can say you'd rather be dead rather than express any positive sentiment about this guy surviving a traumatic mining accident. You can't say it's great that he's able to still be a part of the community in his chair, or renovate his house to make it accessible the way you can build ENTIRE HOMES for other characters. The community center you rebuild in the Good Ending for the community is only accessible by stairs. The path out of his home is dirt. It's the little things, y'know, like... obviously he wasn't thought about as his own character. The game's writing sees him as a source of conflict for others, and down to the very tiles of the terrain, he's irrelevant.

AND THEN THE TOWN DOCTOR DOES A HIPAA VIOLATION AND GETS SAD IF YOU SAY GEORGE SHOULD HAVE AGENCY OVER HIS OWN BODY. WHAT ARE WE FUCKING DOING HERE

[sugoi-writes]

Alastor with a reader who tries on his suit jacket and mimics him in a mirror ( I feel like this nut has a closet filled with the same clothes) and gets caught by him? I’d have to shoot myself if this happened to me but I want to feel the embarrassment radiating off the reader. (He finds it cute tho—phew!)

🍻D runk Danny Asks 🍻

Ahah, same warnings as before!

❤️❤️❤️

You poised in the mirror with your hands on your hips: Superwoman style. You heard that this was a pose that could actually boost confidence if you repeated this action daily... some sort of positive-reinforcement via brain chemistry. But, your train of thought was cut off as you did a giddy little twirl.

You fanned out the longer coat tails of Alastor's coat, marveling the split that made room for his fluffy tail. You squirmed at the thought of seeing it wag, but you controlled yourself. You grabbed a hair brush off of Alastor's nightstand, posing like you had a microphone to your lips.

"Salutations~ Good to be back on the air!" You attempted in your best transatlantic accent. You snorted, fanning your face as you shrunk in on yourself," Hells, that was bad!"

You pretended to lean on your imaginary cane, a hand to your chest as you belted out," Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, QUITE the pleasure! Have you heard of my podcast~?"

"As a matter of fact, I have~" You froze as a slow clap came from the doorway, a shit eating grin on the Radio Demon's face," Dare I say, I'm a huge fan of yours~" He perfectly mimicked your voice, a slight static over the intonation of your cadence. You squeaked as Alastor strode towards you, eyes filled with a prideful glee.

"Dear, if you really wanted to impersonate me... you should really do something about this posture!" Back to his normal tone, you nearly shrieked as Alastor's hands grabbed your hips. He angled them back slightly as he kissed the crown of your head. His hands slid up your body, making you gasp and writhe between them and their wake. He took hold of your wrists, hands loose but firm in their grip. The both of you looked into the mirror, your face warm at the sight of Alastor towering over you.

"Much better, dear... much better~" he practically purred in your ear, your breath becoming a distant thought. You had effectively forgot how to breathe. And Alastor would have been content with the teasing... if your hips didn't meet his own.

"I wonder... how do you sound when you moan my name...?"

You gasp as Alastor ground against your ass, a shocked mewl escaping you.

"Let's find out~"

[randomminty]

Yippee

[notfreetoday]

The Importance of Amae in My Personal Weatherman

Masterlist || Language Analysis Part 1

I have seen a lot of discourse in the English-speaking fandom surrounding Segasaki's apparent dismissal or trivializing of Yoh's desire to pursue his manga, and most of it is negative. His comments about wanting Yoh to remain dependent on him, or that Yoh does not need to earn money are seen as patronizing or controlling at best and oppressive at worst. It appears that Segasaki does not understand nor respect Yoh's need for independence, and that is what strains their relationship.

But what if I asked you to consider that Segasaki's behaviour is actually an invitation to Yoh to reinforce their relationship? And what if I told you that Yoh's withdrawal from Segasaki constitutes a rejection of that invitation, and it is that rejection that strains their relationship instead?

Of course, the end result is the same - a strained relationship - and in reality there is never one side wholly responsible for this. The point of this is to simply challenge the cultural notion that a successful relationship is the coming together of two equally independent individuals, as opposed to the co-creation of a relationship formed by two interdependent individuals.

"If only you could stay drunk forever..." "It's okay to feel down again for me too you know" - Segasaki, Ep 4, Ep 5

This isn't about Segasaki wanting to keep Yoh is helpless and dependent on him, but about wanting Yoh to be able to be true to his feelings and express his own desire for affection honestly, without having to hide behind "I hate you" or rejection.

Or, let's try and talk about how Segasaki and Yoh reinforce their relationship through the use of amae (featuring a brief mention of tatemae/honne) who am I kidding this is not brief at all

First: Cultural Context

The way people conceptualize and make meaning of the Self differs between Western and East Asian cultures, and this plays into the differences we see in the basis for our self-esteem, the personal attributes that we value, and even what constitutes the behavior of a mature individual. Broadly speaking, Western cultures tend towards the Independent Self Construal (whereby the Self is a distinct entity separate from others) whereas East Asian cultures tend towards Interdependent Self-Construal (whereby the Self is connected to and defined by relationships with others). Thus, in the West, expressing one's individuality is very important for one's self-esteem, and being able to communicate clearly and confidently is valued and a sign of maturity. Conversely, in the East, one's ability to integrate and become a member of the group is prized, and contributes significantly to one's self esteem. In order to be seen as a mature individual, one must learn not only to read a social situation but also how to modify one's behavior in order to respond to the changing demands of that situation, with the ultimate goal being to maintain group harmony.

tl;dr - In East Asian culture, behaviors and attitudes that emphasize interdependence and promote group harmony actually play a big role in reinforcing relationships and one's membership towards the group.

Segasaki is an expert at this - his "public mode" that Yoh refers to actually shows us how good he is at social interactions. This is the Japanese concept of tatemae/honne (crudely translated as public self/private feelings) - which I could link to a bunch of articles for you, but I'm going to suggest you check out this 9 min street interview instead. At 6:41, one of the interviewees comments that another is sunao, or "honest" (we'll cover this later too) and at 6:49 specifically talks about how reading situations is important as an adult. Segasaki reads the room well, but most importantly, he reads Yoh well.

Yoh is not good at this, at all. In Ep 6, we see that he does not integrate well with the group, and he doesn't realize how he might appear to others when he stares and sketches from afar. Yoh does not read the room well because he doesn't pick up on social cues and does not adhere to social norms (I'll point these out in Ep 6's corrections). He cannot read Segasaki, and especially cannot read Segasaki's amae, or his attempts at reinforcing their relationship. Part of this is because his low self-esteem causes him to withdraw from Segasaki's affection as a means of self-protection, and so he valiantly tries to deny his feelings for Segasaki. As Man-san commented in Ep 4, Yoh is not sunao - he has difficulty with being true/honest about his feelings, even to himself.

Sunao is another term that usually pops up when talking about feelings/relationships. It can be used to describe one's relationship with oneself, as well as the relationship with another/group. With oneself, it is usually used to mean "being honest/truthful/straightforward/frank/open-minded about one's feelings". With another person/group, it is usually used to mean "to cooperate/listen/be obedient, or "to be humble/open-minded". In essence, the word encompasses an ideal virtue that is often taught from early childhood - that we should treat both ourselves and others with humility and honesty, because that is how we accept ourselves and stay in harmony with other. This is what becoming an adult, or gaining maturity, means (not gaining independence, as adulthood is often equated to in the West - do you see a running theme here 😂). Of course, that's actually really hard to do, so you'll often hear children (and immature adults too) chided for "not being sunao" (this can therefore sound patronizing if you're not careful). We'll revisit this in a little bit.

Second: What is Amae?

Amae is a key component in Japanese relationships, both intimate and non-intimate. It happens every day, in a variety of different interactions, between a variety of different people. But it is often seen as strange or weird, and those unfamiliar with the concept can feel uncomfortable with it. This stems from the difference in self-construal - because independence is tied so strongly to an individual's self-image in the West, it is very hard to fathom why behavior that emphasizes interdependence could be looked upon favorably. It is telling that every possible English translation of the word "amae" carries a negative connotation, when in Japanese it can be both negative or positive. The original subtitles translated it as "clingy", for example. Other common translations include "dependence", "to act like a child/infant", "to act helpless", "to act spoiled", "coquettish", "seeking indulgence", "being naive" etc.

From A Multifaceted View of the Concept of Amae: Reconsidering the Indigenous Japanese Concept of Relatedness by Kazuko Y Behrens

*Note - the word "presumed" or "presumption" or "expectation" or "assumption" used in the above definition and in the rest of this post, can give the impression that all of amae is premeditated, which adds a calculative component to this concept. Whilst amae can indeed be used in a manipulative manner (benign or otherwise), it is not the case for every single situation, and often amae that seeks affection is often spontaneous and without thought, precisely because the situation allows for it to appear organically. This is the amae that Segasaki and Yoh most often exchange - so think of these assumptions and expectations as "unconscious/subconscious" thought processes.

Third: Amae Between Segasaki and Yoh

Yoh shows a lot of amae when he is drunk:

He whines, buries himself into Segasaki's embrace, refuses to move or let go of him, and keeps repeating "no". In these interactions, Yoh wants Segasaki's affection, but instead of asking, he does, well, this, and he presumes that Segasaki will indulge his behavior. Leaving to get some fresh air might not be as obvious - but it is a form of amae as well, because Man-san is his guest, not Segasaki's, and he shouldn't be leaving Segasaki to entertain her. The expectation that this is okay, and that neither of them will fault him for it, is what makes it amae.

Segasaki obviously enjoys indulging Yoh when Yoh does amae, because he recognises this as Yoh's request for affection from him. It's not that Segasaki enjoys Yoh in this drunk, helpless state; it's not even that Segasaki feels reassured by Yoh's requests for affection. Segasaki knows Yoh likes him, and recognizes that Yoh is struggling with those feelings. That Yoh is actually able to do amae to Segasaki is what delights him the most, because it is something that requires a lot of trust in Segasaki and a willingness to be vulnerable in front of him. This is how amae reinforces relationships - when a request for amae is granted, both the giver and the receiver experience pleasant feelings.

That said, an amae request can also be perceived negatively - if amae is excessive, or if the person responding feels they are obligated to do so. In Ep 5, Man-san chides Yoh for his amae - the fact that he expected to do well from the beginning, and became upset when he failed. He told her about his unemployment, presuming that she would comfort him, but alas.

Segasaki also does amae - but unfortunately Yoh misses many of his cues, and so neither of them really gain pleasant feelings from the interaction (ok so maybe Segasaki does, but I will argue that is more because Segasaki also enjoys it when Yoh obeys him - see @lutawolf's posts for the D/s perspective on this!).

Did you catch it? Segasaki wants Yoh to pass him the Soy Sauce, which, clearly, he is capable of getting himself. He tells Yoh to feed him, because he wants Yoh's affection. And the real kicker - he asked for curry, and expected Yoh to know he wanted pork. In all these interactions, Segasaki presumes that Yoh will indulge him and do for him things he can do himself perfectly well (and even better at that) - this is what makes this amae. But look at Yoh's reactions:

Yoh just stares between the Soy Sauce and Segasaki, between Segasaki and his food, and then just at Segasaki himself. He doesn't recognise any of this as amae, and in the case of feeding Segasaki makes the conclusion that this is somehow a new slave duty he's acquired. And therefore, he does not gain pleasant feelings from it.

In Ep 3 we see a turning point in Yoh's behaviour - his first (sober) attempt at amae (the argument in Ep 2 is debatable - it's not amae from Yoh's POV, but Segasaki responds as if it were, with a head pat and a "when you get drunk, you talk a lot don't you?").

Here, Yoh wants to express his desire for Segasaki's affection, but he can't bring himself to say it aloud. Instead, he dumps bedsheets on Segasaki's lap, as if the bigger the scene he makes the greater the intensity of his desire he can convey. It is the presumption that Segasaki will understand him that makes this amae. And then, we get this:

Not only a happy Segasaki and a sweetly shy Yoh, but also a Yoh who's emboldened by Segasaki's response, and who finally, for the first time, reciprocates touch, and considers the possibility that Segasaki might actually like him.

With every episode, Yoh gets more and more comfortable with doing amae towards Segasaki, because Segasaki picks up on his cues and always responds to them. In Ep 5, Yoh's amae comes out naturally, triggered by the stress of his unemployment, and we see it in all those moments he sounds and acts like a child, and as I mentioned, Segasaki spends the whole episode reassuring Yoh that his amae is welcomed, and that Segasaki likes responding to it. If you've been wondering why the relationship between Segasaki and Yoh can, at times, feel somewhat parental in nature - this is it. It's because Segasaki sees the contradiction between Yoh's childlike insistence that he does not like Segasaki and his desire for Segasaki's attention and affection, for what it really is - Yoh's struggle with accepting himself. When Yoh is able to be sunao, he does amae naturally, and Segasaki responds to him in kind.

Now, all we need is for Yoh to recognize when Segasaki does amae, which will likely happen soon, given that Yoh has grown with every episode.

As always, thank you for reading :))

[usertoxicyaoi]

"I know I shouldn't like this. But, before I knew it, my mind was a mess. I lost control. It's your fault."

TAIKAN YOHOU (2023). Episode 2 -> Episode 8.

[wandixx]

I'm not much for naming things but: Danny's associated with green and M'gann's a White Martian, so... Spearmint (like the green and white mint candies)? Just a thought.

Prompt: Magic removed Amity Park from the map. JL didn't notice, but in an Alderaan type moment (Star Wars ref. yay!) The martian on Watchtower monitoring duty heard the residents get silent unanimously.

Of course they need to be investigated! So M'gann gets her watch partner to take over and flies there, discovering an odd green rift of death energy doing a black hole effect and it sucks her in. Danny gets landed on/ flown into when she tumbles through the rift. She tried getting a message through to JL when she felt herself getting sucked in, but the message was not received due to ectoplasmic interference.

So Danny has to figure out how to get her AND Amity Park back home!

(Just a thought. I'm curious how you flesh it out if you do!)

This is such an interesting idea, and it definitely deserves much more story than I can write in single prompt, so this here is just a beginning and I will continue. I hope it's up to your expectations

Also, I really love the Spearmint idea

*****

M’gann understood the importance of monitor duty in Watchtower, she really did. She also understood why they were taught it while still in this gray area between fully dependent sidekicks and fully independent heroes, that was the main reason the Young Justice Team even existed.

It didn’t make it any less boring. Even when she had a decent duty partner. Don't get her wrong, Green Arrow was a much better option than Batman or Superman, it was just awkward. At least he seemed equally done with it and didn't scold her for jumping between satellite cameras just a bit too fast to actually ‘monitor’ anything.

And it was only twenty minutes into the two hour shift.

One of the sixty (or so) screens, the one directly in front of her, blinked to the view of the American Midwest. She was about to skip further, when a sudden movement caught her attention. She clicked a few keys to review the footage and asked, still unsure if her eyes weren't deceiving her.

“Did the entire city… just disappear?“

Green Arrow nodded, equally stunned.

“I'm going to check this out” she spluttered, already flying out of the room and doing her best to get Zeta to send her as close as possible. It was a bit tricky when she couldn't see the keyboard. She managed though, so before the adult hero even finished yelling that it was above her skill level, she was out.

From there, getting to the disappeared city was a piece of cake.

She stopped right in tracks when the thing came in view. M'gann had no idea how to describe it. It was a green and white and black storm but not, glass, see-through dome but not, deep space but also decidedly not. It made her want to run away but also come closer, almost like it was tugging at her. Like some pseudo, mental in nature, gravitation.

Oh, wait, no. It was an actual, physical force that after a quick test turned out to be inescapable for her.

Green Arrow, perhaps, maybe probably was kinda right. It was so high above her skill level that a balled napkin from this height would cause serious damage. Thank Batman for comms that she could use to call a backup!

The comms, that, of course, didn't work the one time she needed them.

She sent the message anyway, describing everything to the best of her ability, even though it was only a tip of the iceberg. Just in case, if the magical storm thing just made her comm one way communication only. It was highly unlikely, but who was she, if not an optimist.

She barely closed her mouth, when she was jerked sideways before the whole world became blurred.

She later would have a hard time telling anyone how it felt, to be inside the thing. She was basically powerless, thrown around randomly despite clearly keeping all of her abilities. She couldn't see, couldn't tell which way was up and down, couldn't change direction even a little bit. The rumble of the thing was so loud she couldn't hear her thoughts, throwing her brain so off the loop she forgot what her name was. She was crying probably, almost puking, her limbs hitting any and every part of her body.

At first, she didn't even realize she was out, so dazed from the ride. She didn't even see the flying boy until a while after she crashed into him, throwing them both off the sky. Neither of them caught them before they slammed into the ground. Somehow she ended up cushioning the boy's fall. M’gann couldn’t breathe for a moment. She kinda deserved it for ramming into him in the first place though.

By the time she could use her lungs and behave like a social creature again, the boy scrambled off her and just crouched, intensely staring, anxious and awestruck at the same time. She sat up and gave him once over herself.

He was around her physical age, but much skinnier than her or anybofnher teammates, build like a twig. He had fluffy, white, almost glowing hair, caucasian complexion, and wore a black and white jumpsuit with a tool belt. Big ‘P’ on his chest indicated he was someone from a hero/villain scene, and from general vibes she got, M’gann was leaning towards a hero. He was kinda cute. She coughed awkwardly when she realized how long they just sat in silence.

“Hi?”

Apparently it was enough to release an incoherent babbling from the boy.

“Hi, um… Miss Martian, ma'am? I'm Phantom. What are you doing here? Is the rest of your Team going to fall off the sky too? Justice League?”

“Not right now probably”

She was ignored. Phantom just kept panicking.

“Is this some of your villain's schemes? Are you alright? You crashed pretty hard, sorry I landed on top of you by the way, do you–?”

“I'm fine, don't worry I got worse”

“Sure…”

“Sorry I threw you off the sky”

“Not your fault, really, it's fi–”

“You asked what I'm doing here. I went on my own to investigate when I saw the city blink out of existence and got sucked in. I'm not sure if my report from site made it through, but they know where I went, so they'll soon come to help, don't worry”

Phantom did not stop worrying.

“Alright, cool, cool” he ran his hand through his hair, tugging at them “The Justice League knows you mysteriously disappeared along with an entire city. This is fine, totally fine, absolutely–”

“You're panicking”

“No shit Sherlock. Someone kidnapped my city again and I have no idea how to fix it because my usual tactic is ‘punch the cause of the problem into submission’ and this time I can't punch the storm. Now you're here so if something happens, I’ll have pissed of Justice League to worry about because, of course, it will be my fault. You could be overshadowed and I have no clue what's going on but I have to fix it as soon as–”

“Breathe Phantom“ she interrupted again, projecting what the Team called ‘calming vibes’. Since it didn't involve outright entering someone's brain and humans almost didn't react to it, it was an okay thing to do without asking even on non-villains. “Remember, I'm a hero, not a damsel in the distress you have to protect non stop”

“Of course, you're not. You're Miss Martian. You're amazing, but it doesn't give me any more of an idea on what's going on nor what to do with Justice League when they come, obviously furious because everyone in Amity and their mother will testify that it was somehow my fault, especially if–”

“Hey, hey, none of that. I know you're a good guy and they’ll too. I will vouch for you if for some reason they get misled”

Phantom looked her in the eyes as if he was trying to read her mind himself without even an ounce of psychic powers. She could tell if he used it.

“I could be a bad guy,” he said seriously after a moment of silence.

“I know you're not”

“You don't know me”

“You spent almost all of our interaction agonizing over how to save your city. It's not typical bad guy behavior”

“I could be acting”

M’gann didn't even dignify it with her response other than an incredulous stare.

“ Alright, if I've been acting, I would be a lot cooler but still… I could be acting!”

“I'm a literal psychic, remember? I didn't read your thoughts, don't worry, I know it's invasive for humans. But I got a general overview of who you are, and your vibes matched pretty well with the vibes of good guys”

“Sure, of course, why not,” he muttered, taking a moment to reboot “Why is this my life now?”

M’gann decided it wasn't to her and well… Phantom wasn't wrong, she didn't know him, so however she'd try to answer it was pretty much hit or miss. But from what she'd seen of him, she was curious to learn more.

“Nevermind, let's get you a Specter Deflector before anyone tries to use you as a meatsuit” he said, catching her wrist to drag her somewhere.

She let him lead her. He still didn’t have any nefarious reasoning, and hey! Maybe she'll finish this adventure with a new teammate!

[Sure M’gann. Just a teammate. Don't worry, Danny won't be a panicked mess all of the time here]

[taya-ki]

Gomens s2 comic time! Spent FOREVER making this because I could. Lmao

[mcybree]

i havent talked about how awesome scott’s star symbol is yet on here have I. Despite being assigned based on really flimsy reasoning iirc I’d argue it’s the most fitting possible choice for him I really couldn’t be happier with it

[sebdoesthings]

Sorry y'all all I know is make garbage and lie

[patrickzvveig]

I think saying Saltburn is simply "homoerotic" really erases the obvious queerness of it. Like, okay. Homoeroticism is definitely related to but also distinctly separate from queerness. It's like saying The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) is not queer because Tom doesn't kiss Dickie, or even Peter for that matter. Like no, the whole film is literally about the obsession and heartbreak of queer desire. I'd argue Saltburn does literally the same thing, though not to the same level of success or nuance (and this isn't shade, I love this movie even if I don't think it's, like, good). But to imply that Oliver and Felix are just best friends with an intensely close relationship is ignoring literally everything about the film. Like Oliver is pretty clearly infatuated, aroused by, and in love with Felix, in the same way Tom Ripley is Dickie. Like this is not even subtext, it is the text of the film. He licks a bathtub filled with semen-water and puts his penis in the dirt of Felix's grave. And while those things are certainly not as interesting, or even disturbing (!!!) as Tom killing Dickie and holding his lifeless body (and making Dickie hold him back) but there's no "heterosexual" way to read this. And I'm not saying that this is necessarily good, or that you have to like it, or that you cannot be disinterested in the way Saltburn handles queerness, but it is textually queerness. It is not just homoeroticism. There is textual desire.

[fruitysmellz]

If people could like… stop telling Hana’s family all these forbidden acronyms, that would be great. Thanks.

[yuseirra]

The more I think about Ai.. She's someone who's always tried her best in the situation she was in despite how broken she was. She was such a hardworker, and she's always meant well.. She ended up having children in the midst of having tried to console her boyfriend who was younger, who was suffering intensely and wished to be loved(and he thought giving himself away was the only means for him to be loved because the messed-up environment he was in) it wasn't planned for the both of them, but she tried to make the best of it from her point of view. She tried to lift her boyfriend(who was the first person she's really wanted to love- and cared for very dearly)of the burden and decided to take everything on herself. She tried her best being a mother, you can see her always hugging her children when she's back home or swooning about how cute and smart they are. What's made me really sad in the first volume was her telling her children she wasn't a very good mother but that she still believes that it was fortunate of her to have given birth to them, her heart is in the right place.. You can feel the love seeping out of those words. She could have been inexperienced, but I could tell she really did care about her kids.

The reason she kept smiling and kept up a very strong persona was because everyone around her loved it. She mentions in the first volume when ichigo talks about the dome, she pretends to be happy because everyone is. She's a very caring person, just.. really hurt and awkward from reasons that I don't think is entirely her fault. She's pretty keen on how other people perceive her as well, so she was pretty self-conscious on how she's been perceived by her companions too.. They didn't always treat her well(they are all teens, to be fair) But she tried to love them in the ways she could.

Ai didn't think she knew love, and was always worried about how genuine it'd be when she laid it out, but she WAS a very loving person all her life.

Other than her "love" I think her most significant trait is that she never gave up. She actually saved her boyfriend from an abuser while she was only a teenager herself. She became an idol and worked vigorously to reach the top. She raised her children with care and they grew up to be talented. She tried to figure what love is and it did come true. And now we even find that she's NEVER given up on her boyfriend and was always concerned about his sake. The song idol screams DETERMINATION. Ai isn't perfect, but she always had that drive to claim and get what she wanted.

So I think she'll be able to make her wishes come true. She's a literal "star" and I actually think stars may have some godly powers in this comic. I reread parts of it recently, and it seems like Ruby and Kamiki has something up with them that lets them get what they want or change the situation they're in with some bizarre powers they have. For example, Goro's body was discovered IMMEDIATELY as Ruby wished to meet him again. Her career suddenly starts to thrive when she sets her heart into it(and Ruby herself literally SAYS she must be favored by the gods when Aqua confronts about how cruel she's become in order to reach the top). What kamiki says to people seemed to lead to disasters he himself could not really predict, but it did end up making the people who made him suffer in some way, suffer back in return like some sort of monkey's paw. I think those two have some sort of powers or is favored by the gods.. And Ai herself was mentioned to be favored by the entertainment god too, that was something that was brought up really early in the series. I wonder about Aqua but he's the main protag and it wouldn't make the story feel so convincing if he utilized those sort of powers to get things turn to his favor. I'm digressing a bit but I feel like the star eyes have to do with the gods and appear in those whom they favor or something.. And that there are at least two different ones, white and black that grant the user different effects :/ the one kamiki has in that case is probably really capricious and powerful as that.

Back to Ai, I think she also has it in her to make her wishes come true in the end. I believe that her efforts won't be futile, she'll end up protecting everyone she cares about, and like what Tsukuyomi's said.. She may be always watching them as a "star". Stars are important in this story. It'd be interesting if the job "star" and the "stars" in the sky actually have some connection to another. It'd be clever in my opinion.

Since we now know what her wish is (there's one more video she's left to Ruby and I'm speculating that it has to do with the love she had towards her fans-that'd tie so well with her song IDOL), I'd like to see what resolution it'll have. I want to support and root for her because she's a hardworker. A true idol!

[alkibiadessuperfan]

struggling rn cause i wish i knew other lesbians irl to talk to or have as a rolemodel.

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 5 Subtitle Corrections

Masterlist: EP 1 || EP 2 || EP 3 || EP 4

Y: 釣り合うわけないじゃん Y: 相手はよりによって　これだぞ　これ Y: There's no way (I) can match up (to him) Y: To this (person), of all people, this!

Ep 5 is about Yoh struggling with his desire to "match up" to Segasaki, and the objective difference that he sees between the two of them. It's different from Ep 2's struggle - which arose chiefly because he felt insecure about where he stood with Segasaki. This time, Yoh's struggle is predominantly with himself - because now he has to face up to his worst fear confirmed - that maybe he really is incompetent. And this time, he has to do it without the aid of alcohol too.

I've seen a lot of people talk about how Segasaki shows Yoh his love in every way but in words, and that that's the reason for their miscommunication - but that's not true. He may not use the word "love" or "like", but culturally these words are not often used anyway. What Segasaki does say however, multiple times throughout the show in fact but most clearly in this episode, is essentially "I like it when you depend on me". It's as direct a reassurance as you can get to the fear of being hated because of his perceived incompetence - but that's just the thing - Yoh's perception is skewed by his self-judgement. So, it's not that Segasaki can't use his words - the problem is that Yoh isn't ready to listen yet. Despite this, Yoh's confidence in his relationship with Segasaki is growing every episode. He might not realize this consciously, but it's right after Segasaki comforts and cares for Yoh at his lowest, that Yoh also drops to what is arguably the most casual speech level he's ever gotten with Segasaki (thus far) - and in response, so does Segasaki.

So, same translation disclaimer applies, Ep 5, let's go! (no twitter space for EP 5 probably because of the fan meets).

Y: 学生時代から不定期でもらってた単発の仕事も途切れて Y: 完全無職だ Y: あ、せめて、家事ぐらいはちゃんとやらないと Y: Now that the one-off jobs I've been receiving on an irregular basis since I was a student have been cut off Y: I'm completely jobless Y: Ah! At the very least, I have to do something as small as the housework properly.

Y: だって　そういうのがすきなんだよ、俺は Y: But, actually, that's what I like Yoh's explicit use of the personal pronoun "I" here again emphasizes that this is his own opinion. The way this sentence is phrased also gives the impression that Yoh feels a little aggrieved at the whole "your male characters are irritating to male readers because they're too perfect" explanation his editor gave him.

Y: *そりゃ、ほっといたら描いちゃうよ Y: **お前のせいだ Y: お前みたいなのが　***近くにいるから Y: バーカ Y: *Well I mean, if I'm left to my own devices then I'll end up drawing (him) Y: It's all your** fault Y: It's because someone like you, is (always) around*** me Y: I~diot. *The "aggrieved" feeling is even stronger in this sentence - Yoh is basically saying that he doesn't set out to draw the characters that way - it just sort of happens, and well it's not his fault, because as long as no one (including he himself) is paying attention to what he's drawing, well then, the characters just turn out that way. ** This is the first time that Yoh has referred to Segasaki using the informal pronoun "お前 (omae)" for "you". Depending on the context, it could be considered a rude pronoun, but is mostly just seen as a marker of masculine speech, and thus leans more towards being simply "impolite". It's the same pronoun that Segasaki uses when he speaks to Yoh - but Yoh usually uses the slightly more polite "あんた(anta)" instead, both in his head as well as when he speaks aloud. The switch here emphasizes Yoh's accusation, that this is all Segasaki's fault. ***the phrase here is often used to say that someone is "by your side" or "here for you" and doesn't only refer to physical distance. So, although he's using "omae" and "blaming" Segasaki for his characters turning out looking perfect, these 4 lines actually still sound pretty intimate. Together with how he drags out the word "idiot", this is very clearly Yoh's amae, similar to what we saw in Ep 4. I... will probably write a post about amae as well, because it's so important to their relationship.

Y: 洋服を着たまま海に溺れるように Y: 暗いものが染み込んで Y: 黒いものを吸い込んで Y: ブヨブヨになった体はずっしりと Y: 重く　重く。。。 Y: It feels as if I'm drowning in the ocean whilst fully dressed Y: The darkness seeping into (me) Y: The blackness pouring into (my mouth) Y: My body, now swollen, sinks heavily down Y: So heavy. So heavy.

S: なんだ　いるじゃねぇか S: 電気も付けねぇで　何やっ S: Oh so you are here S: Not even switching on the lights, what were-

S: *あちゃ～　これやり直しだな S: *Ahchaa... This needs to be redone then..

*This is just a sound that you make similar to "oh man..." so I'm not sure why it was translated so forcefully as "it's no good"😅 This sentence is another example of soliloquy, or talking to oneself aloud, that is common in Japanese.

Y: ご飯、ない Y: ごめんなさい Y: すぐ準備する S: *しょうがねぇなぁ　ほら立て S: 行くぞ Y: Food... there isn't any Y: I'm sorry Y: I'll make it soon S: *What do I do with you... come on stand up S: We're going

Yoh is really down here because he loses practically all his words. His first sentence is literally "food, none", and when he says I'm sorry he uses the casual (but full) version "gomen nasai" instead of "suimasen" like he usually does. It makes him sound a lot younger than usual, and overall just adds to the kicked-puppy vibe really well. *しょうがねぇなぁ (shouganee naa) - this is a common phrase that literally translates to "there is no way (to deal with this)" or more commonly "(this situation) can't be helped". It's used to express a sort of acceptance, like in a "oh well, it can't be helped, so don't feel too bad" or "well there's no way this could've been avoided, so let's just get on with it" sorta way. Here, the way Segasaki adds "naa" at the end with a rising tone, actually makes it sound a little indulgent - like when you find your puppy made a mess but it's too cute for you to feel upset and you just love it more. (Also, this is a really common way to show affection between characters in dramas/anime - when one character is down in the dumps, another will be like "well what am I going to do with an idiot like you, I guess I have to help, right?")

S: 葉　とりあえず　口開けろ S: Yoh. In any case, open your mouth first

S: ごちそうさまでした (gochisousama deshita) S: Thank you for the food This is a standard phrase said at the end of a meal (it's counterpart is "itadakimasu - I gratefully partake" said at the beginning). It expresses gratitude to everyone involved in making the meal possible - from the farmers who grew the vegetables to the person who cooked the meal, and yes, even to the animals themselves. Usually, you would say this to the person who made the meal, or the one treating you to it, but it's Segasaki here who leads the saying of this phrase. This isn't weird at all, given the broad meaning of the word, but it is reminiscent of what a parent would do at home, or a teacher would do in school (Japanese teachers eat with their students in class).

S: なんか落ち込んでんの？ Y: 漫画が　とてもだめです* S: You seem a little down about something? Y: My manga is... really bad.* *desu form is back, to give emphasis to this sentence. That said - and I'm really not trying to belittle Yoh here - but similar to the "food, none" phrase earlier, this sentence is just so short and simple that it just makes him sound, well, young. Imagine asking someone "you don't seem to like that person?", and they look at you all serious and say "they're a bad person" - it just sounds unexpectedly young and innocent, and the whole "desu" at the end just tops off the kicked puppy vibes for real. It's why Segasaki snorts a little and smiles.

S: お前漫画がだめだと　こうなんの？ S: えっ　そんだけ？ Y: うん S: ふーん Y: そんだけってなんだよ Y: こっちは　今にも　死にそうな気分なのに

S: So when your manga is bad you become like this? S: Eh? That's all? Y: Mm. S: Hmm~ Y: What do you mean "that's all?" Y: When here I am feeling like I'm about to die soon In case you were wondering, "that's all?" in Japanese sounds exactly as it does in English, so no blaming Yoh here for being all 😟 about it.

S: ほら*　早く来い S: Now, come here, quickly. *ほら (hora) - I last highlighted this word in Ep 3, but Segasaki actually uses it a lot more that just these 2 instances (not least because Yoh's always avoiding him). It's simply a word used to get the listener's attention, like, "look here" or "now" or "see" or "come on" etc.

S: 今日はお前がされるがまま*で気分よかったわ S: もっと落ち込め S: Today you did exactly as you were told, so I felt really good S: Be dejected more often *されるがまま - this phrase means to passively go along with whatever the other person says or does to you, without any resistance (it can also refer to letting nature take its course). It's mostly used to describe a negative situation since it usually implies that the person has no free will of their own, but can also be fairly neutral as in "I followed the waiter's recommendations exactly". So, it's quite amusing that in these 2 sentences, negative sounding words are actually meant to be really sweet (just like how Yoh's "I hate you" sounds eh?).

Personally, I also appreciate how this is a callback to Yoh's monologue in Ep 3, when he talks about noticing the way Segasaki looks just that little bit happier when Yoh listens to him. Here, Segasaki confirms it for Yoh (and us), reinforcing to Yoh that he really doesn't mind Yoh depending on him one bit.

Y: こんなの本物の恋人同士みたいだ Y: あんた*　まるで本当に　俺のこと好きみたいじゃん Y: Like this... it feels like we're a real live couple Y: You*... it's as if you really do like me *We're back to Yoh's usual "anta" here for "you", instead of the "omae" he used earlier.

S: しょうがねぇなぁ S: What do I do with you This is the same phrase as earlier, when Segasaki found Yoh by the laundry machine.

Oh, the moon is beautiful isn't it? 🤭🤭

Y: だって　俺の漫画は世間に求められてないわけですし Y: But, it seems like the world doesn't want my manga... The phrase "the world wants/doesn't want" is commonly used when talking about finding one's place in the world/society, and young adults often say this when trying to figure their life out. So yes, not so uncommon a phrase that this sentence sounds ridiculous, but it definitely does sound a little dramatic. Hence Man-san's response.

M: *甘ったれんな　思い上がんな M: Don't be so *spoiled. Don't think so highly of yourself. *The is the same word, amae, that Man-san used in Ep 4 when she said Yoh was being affectionate with Segasaki. This is another meaning of amae, and it is used in a negative way here, which sort of shows you the complexity of this concept. Underlying it is the message that it's okay to be dependent on your loved ones for your emotional needs, but you still need to take responsibility for your own life.

M: 衣食住の保障された環境でのんびり描いてて　 M: 一回仕事が途切れたぐらいでうじうじ言ってんのか M: 本気で気に食わない Y: 万さん　オーバーキルです M: Being able to draw freely without having to worry about your clothes, food or lodging M: and yet acting all wishy-washy the moment something as small as getting your work cut off just once happens M: I really can't stand that Y: Man-san, that's overkill The term Man-san uses to describe Yoh's current living arrangement is the same term that Segasaki used in his not-proposal, so this suggests that by now Yoh has told her everything about how they got together (and I love that Man-san totally does not judge). It's not explicitly talked about in the show, but despite their similar status as Segasaki Otakus, Man-san does often come across as something like a mentor figure to Yoh, or at least someone senior to him in the Manga world. For one, she speaks very casually to him (for a lady, she sounds as rough as Segasaki tbh 😅), even for someone from the Kansai region, and she often gives him advice. Yoh usually speaks to her informally, but in this whole conversation he does shift up to the desu/masu form often, in response to her scolding him, because she's really going at it (even after taking into account her usual speech pattern😅) and well, he's smarting a little at the moment 😂

M: 世間がどうとかじゃなくて　ダヨちゃんはどうしたいの？ Y: え？ M: ダヨちゃんにとって　漫画って　そういうもんだったの？ M: もうちょっと落ち着いて　考えな M: Rather than thinking about what the world wants, what do you, Dayo-chan, want to do? Y: Huh? M: Is that all that manga is to you, Dayo-chan? M: Calm down a little more and think about it yea?

Y: かたじけのうございます Y: I am indebted to you! This is a very very archaic way to say thank you, think like samurai-level archaic. These two definitely live in the world of manga 😂😂

S: もう体調は戻ったのか？ Y: はい　おかげさまで* S: また　崩してくれても**いいんだぞ Y: ええ？ S: Have you recovered now? Y: Yes, thanks to you* S: It's okay to feel down again for me** too you know Y: Eh?? *Okagesamade - standard phrase you use when someone asks after your health, or when you want to express gratitude for someone else's role in your success/improvement/recovery etc ** 崩してくれて (kuzushite kurete)" - adding "kurete" at the end like this literally means that Yoh does the action of feeling down for Segasaki, rather than just "it's okay to feel down again", which is why Yoh responds in such a surprised manner. As he did before, Segasaki takes what normally is a bad thing and talks about it like it's something good instead. It's his way of emphasizing that Yoh depending on him isn't an inconvenience, in fact, it's something that Segasaki is happy to be on the receiving end of.

Y: これから自分たちをモデルにした漫画を描きに行きますなんて言えないし Y: そもそも、万さんのところにしばらく通うことを許してくれるかどうか。。。 Y: なんとか説得しないと Y: It's not like I can just say "from now on I will be going (out) to draw a manga based on us!" or something like that and... Y: In the first place, (I don't know) whether or not he'll allow me to go to Man-san's place regularly during this period... Y: I have to find some way convince him.

Argument breakdown time, things get intense~~

Y: あの。。。 S: ん？ Y: 今日　編集部で打ち合わせをすることになった* Y: Um... S: Hm? Y: Today, I have a meeting at the editorial department* *Literally, "It has been decided that today (I) will be having a meeting at the editorial department" - this might sound like an indirect way to say "I am going to a meeting" but it's pretty par for the course when speaking politely. Except, Yoh doesn't use the polite form here like he did in Ep 4, nor does he phrase this sentence as an explanation that he's going to follow up on. Nope, by Yoh's usual standards, this is An Announcement, so it's no wonder Segasaki is immediately suspicious.

S: はあ？　仕事切られたんじゃねえのかよ？ Y: いや　そ、その。。。新しいやつ Y: しばらく　忙しくて Y: 場合によっては編集部に泊まりもあるかも S: 昨日の今日で　そんなことあるか？ Y: たまたま連絡がきたんだよね S: お前　なんか　俺に嘘ついてない？ Y: う、嘘じゃない S: いや　おかしいだろ　泊りって S: お前　まさか変な仕事じゃねぇだろうな？ Y: そんなこと。。。ないよ！ S: Haa? Didn't they stop giving you work? [じゃねえのかよ - Segasaki slurs the end vowel here, and adds the end particle "かよ(ka yo)" at the end, which is a rough way to express doubt or surprise, and usually implies some irritation. This, combined with Segasaki's trademark annoyed "haa?" results immediately in a rather flustered Yoh, who stutters a little on the next sentence] Y: No, it-it's... this is a new one. Y: For a while, I'm going to be busy and Y: Depending on the situation, staying overnight at the editorial department... might... be... necessary... [No end particles here - this is still a statement, and would sound stronger if not for the fact that he's hesistating so much] S: And all that just happens today, on this day, just one day after yesterday? Y: ...It just so happened that they contacted me, you see... S: You... are lying to me, aren't you? Y: I-it's not a lie! S: No, it's weird isn't it, to stay overnight? S: You - don't tell me - you aren't doing some kind of shady job are you? Y: There's nothing... of that sort!

S: 葉 Y: はい S: Yoh Y: Yes (hai)?

Yoh's been making a valiant effort to stick to his story throughout this whole conversation but his tone changes completely and he pretty much gives up once Segasaki points out he's lying. In response - and this is not easy to hear but if you want to, go back to about 19:56 or 19:57 of this episode - do you hear Segasaki's small "tsk", after his sigh and before he says Yoh's name? Clicking your tongue, or "tsk-ing" someone is a very very rude way to express frustration or anger in Japan. We're talking get-into-drunk-fights level of rude, if you do it to a stranger. Amongst close friends and family, you're more likely to draw shock first, since it shows the depth of your anger, but they might still get pissed with you afterward. Here at least, Yoh can tell both from the tsk and Segasaki's tone of voice, that he is Not Happy, so he answers Segasaki with a proper "hai" here too.

S: ちょっとここ座れ* Y: はい S: 早く S: Come sit here* Y: Yes S: Be quick. *Slurred "r" on the word "suware" - sit makes this sound very very rough. Segasaki doesn't normally do this, so again, this is him angry, and he's going to slur his r's quite a bit more.

S: お前さ　自分の立場わかってんの？ S: 分かってねぇだろ　分かってねぇから　泊りで仕事とか言い出すんだろうが Y: え～っとだから 遊びに行くわけじゃないし。。。 S: そうじゃねぇだろ S: ああ～もう S: 金か？なんか欲しいもんがあるなら買って��る Y: 違くて　少しはさ。。。 Y: 自分が稼がないとって S: 必要ない　なんで分かんねぇかな S: お前は稼がなくていいんだよ S: Listen, you - do you even understand what position you're in? S: You don't do you? You don't understand and that's why you can just say things like you'll stay out to work overnight. [This is harsh. Not only is the speech rough, he's still slurring some of his "r"s here, and the ending particle だろうが emphasizes the forcefulness of this statement and Segasaki's frustration - and you can see the effect it has on Yoh.] Y: Umm well... it's not like I'm going for fun or something... [This is indignant, but also nervous - Yoh's speaking a lot faster than usual, and he has to drag the filler words at the beginning out before he can figure out what to say.] S: That's not what I'm talking about is it! [slurred r again] S: Argh I swear - S: Is it money? If there's something you want then I'll buy it for you [more slurred "r"s] Y: That's not it! Even just a little - [This is the first time Yoh uses the end particle "さ (sa)", and just like Segasaki, he's using it to draw attention to what he's saying, essentially the equivalent of "listen!". This whole line isn't rude, but it is direct and it's probably the most forceful Yoh has gotten with Segasaki so far, even compared to their argument in Ep 2 - Yoh might have physically pushed Segasaki then, but he mostly just sounded hurt. Here, he's very tense, but he's cut off by Segasaki biting his ear.] Y: - I should earn some money myself (at least, I thought so) [This is more like how Yoh usually voices his opinion - by "hedging" his sentences a little with "I think" and so on to sound less direct - though he's still using truncated forms here, so he's not quite back to his usual level yet] S: There's no need to. [To self:] Why don't you understand? S: It's fine even if you don't earn anything. [Similarly, Segasaki softens this sentence just a tiny bit by tacking on a よ(yo) at the end]

Y: でも! S: あのな　俺はお前に漫画の仕事がなくなろうがどうでもいいんだ Y: But! S: Listen to me. I don't care at all whether you lose your manga work or not. [To be fair to Yoh, the phrase "どうでもいいんだ" literally means "it's fine either way" but it tends to feel like "I don't care because it doesn't matter/make a difference to me/doesn't really involve me", so you can see why it triggers him.]

It's interesting to contrast Yoh's reaction here with the above 2 times Segasaki says something with a negative connotation. Of course, Segasaki also sounded a lot sweeter then (though in his defence, he didn't have to worry about why Yoh might be trying to lie to him all of a sudden), but the biggest difference really is in Yoh's mindset.

Y: え？ S: 当然だろ S: だから余計なこと*すんな Y: なんだよ　どうでもいいって Y: 漫画のこと　分からないなりに　応援してくれてるもんだと思ってたのに Y: あんたにとってはくだらないことでも Y: 俺にとってはすごく Y: すごく大事な事なのに Y: 全然よくない Y: バカにすんなよ！ Y: Huh? S: Isn't that obvious? S: So, don't do unnecessary* things [*余計なこと - This phrase is used to refer to the problems that arise from whatever thing/action is in excess, and so has a negative connotation. Yoh is too fixated on the previous line to notice though] Y: What's that (supposed to mean)... "I don't care" Y: I've always thought that manga was something you supported me in, despite not knowing much about it, and yet... Y: Even if to you, it's something trivial Y: To me, it's something that's extremely Y: It's something extremely important and yet... Y: This is definitely not ok Y: Don't look down on me! [word contraction - again, by Yoh's standards, at least when he talks out loud to Segasaki, this is a drop in speech levels]

Y: 絶対あんたより稼げるようになってやる Y: 漫画で! Y: I'm definitely going to become someone who can earn more money than you! Y: With manga! I think difference between simply "earning more" and "becoming someone who can earn more" is important here - because it isn't about money - it's about competence. Yoh thinks his own worth is calculated in his ability to do things "well", be it in his work or at home. By that measure, Segasaki is worth everything and Yoh is sorely lacking, hence Yoh wants to "become" someone that is, in his mind, worth something. Because if he does not, then inevitably, Segasaki will one day come to disdain him.

There are so many times in this episode that Yoh hears things that should cement their relationship in his head, that he even recognizes as couple-like and accepts without protest - Man-san referring to Segasaki as Yoh's boyfriend, Segasaki losing his whole "man-of-a-few-words" thing and saying more to him in this episode than in any other, verbal confirmation that Yoh depending on him is something he welcomes etc. And yet, Yoh's fear filters all of that out and he hears only what sounds like his own self-judgement in Segasaki's voice. It's no wonder he lashes out at Segasaki like that, though really, who he's really attacking is himself. Afterall, sometimes when we hurt ourselves, we hurt the people who love us too, as we'll see in Ep 6.

(That was quite the arguement though, wasn't it!)

[eiochevart]

Yo marvel wtf do you mean Sam and Bucky weren’t about to kiss in that very last scene of tfatws