#sorry to use the finn and clarke scene but it had to be done

[bellamysgriffin]

No one knows me like you do And since you're the only thing that matters Tell me who do I run to?

[finleycannotdraw]

Guess what? I’m re-binge-reading Good Omens. And here are some Obervations that I forgot about and some things I might put in fics. Also things I found funny. Basically my dumb commentary on the book.

Crowley actually flees Sister Mary. He doesn’t saunter vaguely away. He flees.

Ligur is rather more thoughtful than he’s portrayed in the show

Anathema likes to read about herself, and her teachers are confused because she spells words like Agnes Nutter

Crowley apologizes

By page 41, it is mentioned at least twice that Aziraphale and Crowley Do Not choose each other’s company for any reason other than that they are constants, that they have an Arrangement, and that they are Friends because being Enemies got boring.

Aziraphale blushes!!!!!!

The Drunk Scene is fuckin hilarious and it’s actually a lot longer than it is in the show, and really you ought to read it. (Book pages 47-50)

My mom (who has a PhD in human development) would probably like to talk to Crowley about upbringing because they seem to agree on how important it is

War has always looked 25, and had a vulture that died of fatty degeneration

Pollution is very cleverly compared to actual pollution

Warlock has Kermit the frog overalls, and Nanny Ashtoreth is described as someone who “advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines”. The tutors are present for about four paragraphs. Warlock is good at math and likes banana flavored bubblegum.

Crowley has a slice of angel cake. Aziraphale eats it. Aziraphale also eats deviled eggs. Hm.

Crowley calls Aziraphale angel casually enough to suggest he’s been doing it for a long time

Some girl at Warlock’s party calls Aziraphale a f*ggot

Crowley glares suspiciously at a gerbil. It is suggested that Hell has, in the past, sent hell-gerbils in place of hellhounds.

“Oh dear,” muttered Aziraphale, not swearing with the practiced ease of one who has spent six thousand years not swearing, and who wasn’t going to start now.

Adam and his friends play in a place called The Pit, where shopping carts go to die, apparently

Crowley is the first one to mention sides in the book!??!? Also Crowley goes on about how humans are more evil than Hell (but he calls himself evil—is he calling himself human already?)

Aziraphale yells “get off the road, you clown!”

“What’s a velvet underground?” *love confession???* “you wouldn’t like it”

Aziraphale is a bit rude to Crowley in the “flashes of love” scene and Crowley is less panicked about it

Crowley glares at the Bentley and it fixes itself

Anathema’s bike is called Phaeton

COULD THEY ACT ANY MORE MARRIED OH MY GOD

Aziraphale speaks like. Like ugh. “FlOUndeR on tHe rOcKS of inEquiTY”

“Thirty seconds later someone shot both of them. With incredible accuracy.” *cuts to a random pleasant story about Mary Hodges* *cuts back to where Aziraphale has fallen into a rhododendron and Crowley licks the paint before he knows it’s paint* dumbasses

Crowley does not slam Aziraphale into the wall

Crowley is actually pretty impatient and doesn’t argue with Aziraphale when he’s worried

“Nothing but dust and fundamentalists” “that was nasty” “sorry, couldn’t help it”

When the radio sings “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,” Crowley sings “for me” and then screams

Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’ll keep in touch, and Aziraphale doesn’t say tickety-boo, and then Crowley says “right” and feels very alone

the international express man is small and has glasses, and wears green woolen socks

The sword, which turns out to be Aziraphale’s, is described as having an aura of hatred and menace, which makes me think of how it could’ve gotten that aura from Heaven or from humanity or from War...

In the book Pepper has red hair and freckles, which makes it a cool comparison to War’s appearance and the defeat of War

Adam is excellent at slouching, apparently

Occasionally, as Aziraphale reads the book, he would very nearly swear

“He wouldn’t have said ‘that’s weird’ if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins.”

“If you had told him there were children starving in Africa he would’ve been flattered that you’d noticed.”

“...that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” (151)

Wensleydale watches David Attenborough programs

Shadwell’s voice is described as “the color of an old raincoat” and seems to fake smoking cigarettes

Aziraphales cocoa is moldy and solidified by the time he calls Arthur Young, and has a thin layer of dust on himself too

Newt says that the walls look like nicotine and the floor looks like cigarette ash, and he suspects both are, actually, coated with these substances

Newt looks a bit like Clark Kent, and people seem to like Shadwell for some reason, much to his annoyance.

Aziraphale calls Shadwell “dear boy” on the phone

Agnes Nutter called God a daft old fool #goals

Adam is wayyyy too good at video games

Smelling Anathema’s perfume makes Newt uncomfortable

Adam suggests that Pepper ought to have Russia cause of her red hair (huh)

Anathema and Newt actually have decent conversations?? Like?? Show??? C’mon, man. The show kinda butchered their relationship.

Trees, apparently, make a ‘vvrooooommm’ sound when they grow very fast

“He suspected that Crowley was from the Mafia, or the underworld, although he would have been surprised how right he nearly was.” Shadwell also thought Aziraphale was a Russian spy. Wow, Shadwell.

Aziraphale calls Crowley and actually says “shut up” to him, and then when the answering machine beeps, he tells Crowley to “stop making noises” and then he swears for the first time ever.

The fuckin’ footnote on page 227

“A sleek computer was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have.” I like the word choice here. He’s not pretending to be a human, he’s trying to be one. That’s a really important distinction.

It never actually says what Crowley does to his plants.

Crowley’s flat is very white. Wow, Crowley. It just looks dark because of the lighting. Heaven imagery and symbolism out my ears, goddammit.

Why does Hell say Crowley’s name so much when talking to him?? Honestly, I think that’s an intentional dig at his chosen name, using it in their speech to scare him. Wow, Hell. (And wow, Finn, excellent sentence)

Whenever the book says something is shaped like something, it definitely isn’t that thing. “man-shaped” “dog-shaped” “car-shaped”... makes it pretty obvious they aren’t men, dogs, or cars, huh.

The code to Crowley’s safe is 4004. The year he “slithered onto this stupid, marvelous planet”... and the year he met Aziraphale, of course. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, Crowley, my dude.

Crowley consideres sticking Hastur into his car until he turns into Freddie Mercury but then decides even he isn’t that cruel

Actual text that I feel like nobody really agrees with: “Madame Tracy was by many yardsticks quite stupid”

“Do I look like I run a bookshop?” “...imagine me out of uniform, sir, and what kind of man would you see before you? Honestly?” “A prat.”

I’m crying. The fucking bookshop fire scene made me fucking cry. I’m literally crying.

“...on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.” “The police and firemen looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and stayed exactly where they were.” “...a crack of thunder so loud it hurt....” *the sound of Finley sobbing into their cat*

The shortest biker in the cafe thing is 6′2, what the fuck

War, Famine, Pollution, and Pop Trivia 1962-1979

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held.” HMMMMMMMMMMM

“There were no bitches in Hell either.” I know it’s talking about female dogs, but I rather thought Hell was full of bitches.

“Why are you talking like a poofter?” “Ah. Australia.”

“gOsh, aM i on teLEviSiON?” (Basically Aziraphale gets passionate about stuff and likes to talk).

Crowley is actually an optimist and doesn’t dwell too much on how sucky the world is. He doesn’t go get smashed in a bar. He just finds Aziraphale’s notes in the book and heads to Tadfield. And also, his new pair of sunglasses just... materializes out of his eyes. And he likes to whistle.

“Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking to Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People traveled with them.”

“on top of the pile a rather large octopus waved a languid tentacle at them. The sergeant resisted the temptation to wave back.” Honestly dude, if an octopus waved at me I’d wave back.

Wait Agnes was apparently talking to Shadwell and not God when she said yowe daft old foole. I dunno

Madame Tracy: You old silly. Shadwell: 

Aziraphale does not know how to get rid of demons. Canonically. “Had never done other to get rid of demons than to hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn’t it getting late? And Crowley always got the hint.”

The road to Hell is paved with frozen door to door salesmen, apparently. The question is where it is, because the demons always seem to just stem out of the ground.

“Heigh ho,” said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway. I love this sentence during that scene. 

I bet Hastur gets really mad whenever he hears Aziraphale’s voice from now on

Crowley isn’t breathing the entire burning Bentley scene

ADAM. SAID. “But I reckon you can make your own side” AND WE FUCKIN IGNORED IT?

The temperature above the M25 was simultaneously 700ºC and -140ºC which makes me think of something I read about magenta not being real. The M25 is magenta.

I feel like “Agnes” is just going to become an inside joke between Anathema and Newt at this point, and it will drive Crowley insane because he knows who she is but somehow still doesn’t get the joke.

I’m six inches taller than R.P. Tyler, and apparently according to the back sleeve of the book jacket, I’m very similar in height to Neil Gaiman

R.P. Tyler thought Shadwell was a ventriloquist’s dummy, and then sees cows doing somersaults

“That’s terrific. Much obliged,” said Crowley. — “Funny weather we’re having, isn’t it?” “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” “Probably because your car is on fire.” .... Also the fact that Crowley looks like a young man which I find interesting.

“The Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse”

“Where is Armageddon, anyway?” “I’ve always meant to look that up.” “There’s an Armageddon, Pennsylvania”

Famine is the one that says “that’s one big avocado”, and also, I find it interesting that War, more than once, talks about love. (All is fair in love and war much?)

Anathema threatens the guard with a stick, pretending it’s a gun

Aziraphale, of course, asks Crowley to sort it out because he, Aziraphale, is “the nice one” and then proceeds to sort it out himself. Because of course he does. Because what else could he possibly do.

I just ADORE THIS BOOK OKAY

I’M PROBABLY GOING TO READ IT AGAIN IN A MONTH

Aziraphale and Crowley are so fuckin married I can’t

[weepingvoidpenguin]

I’m Yours

Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: Bellamy Blake is an asshole. Of course, you’d always know that. But still, you save his life and he can’t bring himself to speak to you as though you were just anyone anymore. He slowly begins to notice things about you that he hadn’t cared to observe in anyone else and, in good ol’ Bellamy fashion, he doesn’t know what to make of his newfound fondness. 

Warning: Mentions of suicide and rape, the scene where Murphy and Bellamy hang are mentioned as well. If any of this upsets you please don’t read it. Also, some unavoidable potty mouth.

Word Count: 20k (I AM SO SORRY, THIS WAS LITERALLY ME TRYING TO KEEP IT SHORT)

           It had been all work and no play since landing on the ground. It became quickly apparent that Bellamy would try to take the reign for the 100 of you but Clarke had decided she didn’t quite agree with his methods. And to be blunt, you didn’t either. You’d tried on multiple occasions to reason with the others around you when she publicly went against Bellamy’s orders and for that she’d grown fond of you for your courage to stand up against him. Not that you’d thought you had any courage; you were just speaking your truth and Clarke was the closest to displaying it.

           She’d brought you along with her when she went out searching for Jasper as you had been close to him prior to arriving on Earth and basically insisted they dragged you along. You’d quickly made acquaintance with Wells and your distaste for Bellamy and Murphy ignited when they tried to coerce Clarke into removing her wristband on the rescue mission. You didn’t particularly care whether she’d kept hers or not, you’d taken yours off just because it kept getting in your way, but you didn’t appreciate the ultimatum they’d given her.

           Enter Finn and his perfect timing. You’d enjoyed his company. It was a nice change from the Alpha behavior Bellamy and Murphy exhibited. He cared and listened and your fondness took root in his kindness. How he’d brought Jasper down from being used as bait and calmed you down after you’d saved Bellamy’s life from the panther. You’d never shot a gun up until that point and despite knowing it was bound to happen, it still frightened you enough to carelessly drop the weapon.

           After Finn had composed you enough to convince you to move again, it had been Bellamy that walked by your side on the way back. He let the rest of the group run ahead and fell back to keep you company. He’d glanced down at your trembling hands and took note of your spaced out look. You were stuck in your head. He could relate to that. Especially considering the first time he’d used a gun it’d been to assassinate the Chancellor.

           “Hey,” he mumbled, his voice soft and laced with concern, “you saved my life back there.” He instinctively raised his hand to place on your shoulder, remembering how he’d comfort Octavia when she was distressed but he knew about the glares you sent his way when he demanded chaos and violence and decided against it. “I’d have been panther dinner if you hadn’t –” his brain racked around looking for a word other than shot to ease you, “done what you had to do. And now, we have enough food to feed the camp,”

           You’d barely taken notice of his presence, only barely listening to his attempt at comforting you. It wasn’t that you were scared per say, just that you knew this wasn’t going to be the last time you’d have to kill something, or rather, someone, and that reality had finally caught up to you.

           “Thank you,” Bellamy whispered, effectively pulling you away from your thoughts.

           “What?” You asked almost in disbelief that he’d managed to say anything remotely kind.

           A small chuckle escaped his lips and you furrowed your eyebrows at the unwelcome feeling that stirred in your stomach, “You gonna make me say it again?” He teased.

           You turned your attention back to the crunching leaves underneath your steps and shrugged your shoulders, “You’re welcome,”

           “Even though you did steal the gun from me,”

           “Ah, there he is,” you’d unintentionally spoken aloud, not that it mattered to you. “I was beginning to worry that you weren’t actually the jerk you’ve been playing,”

           His smirk faltered at your words but he shook the words from his head and regained the superior role he was always playing around others. He opened his mouth to reply in what you were sure was a condescending way so you held up your hand to silence him.

           “Leave me alone,” you warned, dropping your hand back to your side, “I have Jasper to worry about now and I’m really not up for dealing with your behavior,”

           You trudged faster and caught up to the front where Jasper was being dragged to camp. You’d stayed by his side almost the entire time he was recovering and ended up pulling your knife out when Murphy threatened Jasper with death. As if Jasper had chosen to be in so much pain that he couldn’t help but vocalize it.

           You’d grown impatient with Clarke and her lack of knowledge but you couldn’t hold it against her. It’s not like you knew much about the problem either. But you had been observant enough to recall that there was a substance on Jasper’s wound, potentially meant to help him. Clarke agreed, recalling seeing the same substance and when she asked you to join them in retrieving said substance, you could hardly say no. You wanted to stay with Jasper and protect him but there was no way they were going to leave without you.

           Somehow, you’d managed to get separated from the group. The four of you had run into Grounders and you, stupidly, ran in a different direction from the group hoping that it would be enough to distract them. You knew they needed to get the seaweed to help Jasper and you weren’t going to let anything get in the way of that.

           They’d managed to follow you through the trees, their spears always just barely missing you and you fought against the natural instinct to freeze whenever the wooden sticks flew too close to your body. You couldn’t risk them interrupting what Finn, Wells and Clarke had set out to do. If you came back to the camp only to witness Jasper die, you’d never forgive yourself and seeing Monty’s face everyday would only remind you of the mutual best friend you would no longer have to confide in.

           When your legs burned with exhaustion and your lungs stung whenever you inhaled, you thought it had been the end. The spears could only miss so many times and you shouted in pain when the sharp object sliced through your side and another grazed your thigh. Your sprint had slowed to a pathetic limp and your hands clung to your bleeding side, the pain not helping with your erratic breathing.

           Just when you thought everything was over, the sound of a horn blowing caused the trees to stop moving and the Grounders dispersed, heading in the opposite direction. For a second you feared the horn had something to do with Clarke and the others but when a yellowish fog slithered through the forest coming towards you, you knew the bellowing was a warning of the mist that you assumed had been the cause of the burning sensation in your throat. Not that you could differentiate from the two previous pains but you weren’t going to let the fog encase you to find out.

           Your weak legs could barely keep ahead of the fog but you nearly yelped with relief when the opening of a cave came into view and you threw yourself into its mouth, not concerning yourself with the wild animals that may be residing there.

           The fog grazed against the entrance of the cave and when it brushed up against your boot you knew you weren’t deep enough in shelter. You lifted yourself onto your elbows and crawled backwards into the darkness, ensuring the fog didn’t follow you. Your elbows scraped against the rock and you flinched whenever a pebble dug into your body.

           Your hand flew to the blade at your side and gripped it in the direction a shuffling noise came from. You squirmed over to a large boulder on the side, hoping its shadow provided a bit of protection so you didn’t have to confront whatever was coming towards you.

           Your grip on your makeshift blade tightened, the sweat working against you and you feared the liquid would cause the weapon to slip from your grasp. You took a deep breath and hoped your heartbeat was just that loud for you and not audible to the predator heading in your direction.

           “B-Blake?” You croaked, taking in the figure approaching the mouth of the cave.

           He faced you, his weapon slowly dropping at his side and his eyes widened. “(Y/N)?”

           He sheathed his blade as you did the same and he sat on the heels of his feet to meet your level, “What happened? Weren’t you with Clarke?”

           You nodded and accepted his hand, standing up to gaze at him, “Grounders,”

           “Grounders?” He asked, like he was unaware of their existence.

           You just nodded and limped in the direction he came from, “They spotted us but I had to make sure Clarke and the others got what they needed for Jasper,”

           “So . . . ?” Bellamy urged, waiting to see where the story ended.

           “So, I caused the necessary distraction. They chased me down until they heard the horn blow then they just . . . left,”

           “And the fog came,” Bellamy finished.

           You nodded and stopped in your place at the sight of a girl – a child – resting on a rock and waiting in anticipation. You’d seen her around camp but never caught her name. You turned towards Bellamy and raised an eyebrow in confusion. Why would he allow a child to join a hunting party? As stubborn and dumb that Bellamy could be, you didn’t take him for the type to let a child experience all of this.

           “I-I’m Charlotte,” she spoke up before Bellamy had the chance to explain.

           You faced her again, a soft smile plastered on and you limped over to her side, the adrenaline in your system now depleting and making way for you to actually feel the pain of the gashes on your body.

           “(Y/N)!” Bellamy stepped alongside you and stretched his arms out to offer help but you dismissed him, waving off his attempted altruism. That didn’t stop him from eyeing the blood seeping through your clothes.

           “I’m (Y/N),” you responded, trying not to hiss at the stinging when you tried to sit down.

           Bellamy was right there to alleviate your weight and make descending easier. You couldn’t ignore the way his strong arms gripped you and how the warmth emanating from his body caused you some comfort. You shook your head. No way. You weren’t going to let your thoughts wander to the tyrannical leader that was Bellamy Blake.

           “How’d you get stuck with him?” You asked Charlotte, adding a teasing tone to your words.

           The creases between her eyes softened and she seemed to accept your joke with the slight curving of her lips, “I followed him,”

           “Why on earth would you do that?” You quirked up an eyebrow and Bellamy shook his head as if annoyed.

           “I-I wanted to hunt. To be strong,” she admitted and you took notice of how she flinched at her own words.

           Your eyes scanned over her quickly to make sure she wasn’t injured and nodded before shifting your position, not being able to withhold the gasp of pain that seeped past your teeth. Bellamy sat in front of you and looked at Charlotte.

           “I’m gonna need you to be brave right now and help me out, okay?” he softly spoke.

           Charlotte nodded and how she trusted in Bellamy brought up that same uninvited feeling that you had the last time you spoke to him. You shoved down the – what was it? Butterflies? You nearly shuddered from the thought. No butterflies. Not for Bellamy. Absolutely not.

           “Absolutely not’ what?” Bellamy questioned.

           “Hm?” You retorted innocently and shook your head, “Oh, nothing,”

           He gave you a side glance before returning to Charlotte and you let out a deep breath in relief. God, you were an idiot.

           “I’m gonna need you to distract (Y/N) over here while I bandage her up,” he instructed and Charlotte agreed to her role.

           Charlotte faced you as Bellamy sauntered over to his bag up against a wall and stuck his hand in its opening, scouring around for the little cloth he had.

           “So, what did you do to get put in the Sky Box?” Charlotte asked and you almost laughed and her childlike ignorance.

           Bellamy glanced at you from what he was doing for a second before getting back to it and you gripped your throbbing thigh as everything was beginning to register.

           You sighed, “Well, if you must know, I got caught stealing medicine,”

           “Why?” She sat up straighter and appeared genuinely interested.

           You shook your head at the memory, a sadness pulling at you from the depths of your chest, “Someone I cared about needed help,”

           “So you stole for them?”

           “Yeah.” You sighed again, “But it was too late. By the time I came back to the room, she was gone,”

           Charlotte’s gaze fell and you mimicked the action, fighting the creeping feeling trying to take over.

           “Keep going,” Bellamy told Charlotte when he met your side and instructed you to lift your shirt.

           “Like hell, Blake,” you scoffed but winced at the pain from the action.

           “Exactly,” he said and moved your hands away before beginning to wrap the elastic cloth around the gash.

           “So do you like being on the ground?” She asked when she saw you wince again.

           “Of course. Don’t you?” Anything to distract from the pain.

           She nodded, “It’s . . .”

           “Free,” you finished and she weakly smiled. “There’s a field near the camp that a friend showed me. It’s full of these beautiful butterflies that glow in the dark, I’ll show you when we get back to camp, yeah?”

           Her eyes lit up at the idea and she nearly clapped her hands in excitement. Bellamy tightened the knot around your wound and your hand shot out to stop the cause of the pain that arose from the action. Your fingers gripped the back of Bellamy’s hand and your thumb caressed his unknowingly. He looked up from your hold and you met his gaze for a split second before retracing your hand.

           “Ease up, will ya?” You teased, trying to suppress those damned winged animals in your stomach that threatened to cause a heat to rise up in your cheeks.

           “S-Sorry,” he muttered, quickly moving on to the next wound before stopping mid-action, “These come off,” he instructed, pointing at your pants.

           You nearly choked on his words, “W-what? No way, Blake. You’re working over those,”

           “What’s your favorite color?” Charlotte asked desperately trying to regain your attention.

           “(Y/F/C),”

           “Favorite animal?”

           “(Y/F/A),”

           She seemed to have run out of questions that were actually going to distract you when Bellamy spoke up, “Do you miss the Ark?”

           You shook your head immediately, knowing that you’d rather take your chances out here  than go back up there. “No,”

           “Why?” Charlotte spoke up.

           “I just wouldn’t want to go back. Yeah, it’s hard down here but it’s beautiful. The smell of the rain, the trees, the rivers. All of it.” You motioned around you as if it were a perfect example, “Besides, there’s no one waiting for me up there,” you whispered under your breath.

           Later on in the night after Bellamy had calmed Charlotte from her nightmare and her light snores were audible again, Bellamy went to check on your bandages.

           “I’m no Clarke but I think I did damn well,” he joked while making sure you weren’t still bleeding.

           You chuckled lightly and nodded, “You’ll be giving Griffin a run for her money soon enough,”

           He scoffed with that signature smirk plastered on and he leaned up against the wall across from you, his eyes merely scanning over you again and again. He could feel the words dancing on the tip of his tongue but he wasn’t sure whether or not it was an appropriate question to ask. You hadn’t further elaborated on your arrest and there was probably a good reason for that but he couldn’t help himself, his curiosity won out.

           “When you told Charlotte earlier that you’d stolen medicine, you never mentioned who it was for,” Bellamy pointed out.

           You tore your gaze from his and focused on your fiddling thumbs, trying to find something – anything else to zone out on.

           He could tell you were internally squirming away from the question and he stuttered over his apology before you cut him off.

           “My mother,” you stated. “She . . . she was pregnant. Again,”

           Bellamy raised his eyebrows at your revelation and he clung on to your words.

           “You of all people should know how that would’ve worked out,” you said, entranced by the bit of torn skin around your nail, “She got help from Abby and they handled the situation without, you know, catching any attention because she would’ve gotten in trouble regardless.” You squirmed in your position but finally managed to bring your eyes back up to meet Bellamy’s gaze, “She couldn’t live with what they did. She was put on anti-depressants but there were days where I couldn’t let her out of my sight. She wasn’t depressed. Or at least, her guilt was the root of her depression. No medication would just make her guilt go away on its own,”

           Bellamy shifted his position, his arm resting on his raised knee and he leaned in, observing how you shivered from the cold.

           “One day, it was bad. Really bad. And she was out of medication so I figured that was the issue. I was a lot younger back then. I stole some medicine for her but when I came back to the room I . . .” your words trailed off as the images surfaced again and you physically moved away from the sight before you. The knot forming in your throat caused your words to come out choked and you cursed yourself for letting the building tear cascade down your face, “I found her hanging in the room. I was caught because I called someone to help her but it was too late.” You brought your sleeve up to your cheek and wiped away the salty tear.

           Bellamy was left in silence. For once, he’d been rendered speechless and the regret that overcame him for his selfish curiosities made its presence apparent.

           “I’m sor-”

           “It’s fine.” You turned away from him and rested on your side, closing your eyes and forcing out the last few tears that had built up.

           A few hours later you awoke to find Bellamy’s jacket wrapped around you, keeping you warm from the harsh cold of the night. You ripped the coat off of you and moved to give it back to him when you noticed his shivering form. You cocked your head to the side a bit at the sight.

           If he was cold, why give you the jacket?

           The gnawing feeling took control of your better judgement and you scooted over to his sleeping body, wrapping the jacket around his shoulders and laying down close enough to have some yourself. Not that you’d need it very much at that point, Bellamy’s body heat alone had been enough to keep you comfortable throughout the night. Which would probably explain why you were practically plastered to him by the time you woke up the next morning.

           Two days later you were screaming at Bellamy, pleading with him not to kick the box out from under Murphy’s feet. The sight alone had triggered everything you’d suppressed over the years and despite agreeing that Murphy deserved punishment, this certainly was not it.

           Your brain refused to see Murphy’s body; instead, choosing to opt for the image you’d witnessed all those years ago. The contrast of the scene was significant but that didn’t stop you from seeing the bright LED lights above you, illuminating your mother’s dangling body right next to your bed in the plain white room.

           You were switching in and out from your memory to your present. LED lights were replaced with torches, Murphy was replaced with your mother, everyone kept coming in and out, Clarke’s screaming personified the panic and terror you were currently drowning in.

           “Bellamy, please!” You plead, unaware of the waterfall’s worth of tears on your face. “Don’t do this!”

           He ignored your line of vision. He kept his gaze down, his focus on the box under Murphy. But when the crowd began chanting for Murphy’s ‘just’ punishment, he couldn’t ignore his people’s desires. With one quick, hard kick he displaced the box and you screamed in horror at the scene.

           Thank the Gods for Finn. Clarke had her arm wrapped around you, her hand patting your hair in an attempt for comfort but all you could focus on was Bellamy’s guilt-ridden expression.

           Just days earlier, you’d spared Bellamy the weight of taking Atom out of his misery. That was your cross to bear now and you’d hated that you’d do it again for the monster that stood before you. The Bellamy from just those few hours ago was not the same person standing next to Murphy. The Bellamy from before would never be able to deal with that death on his hands. The Bellamy from before watched as you wept for your mother and the Bellamy before you resurfaced those same painful memories that you’d been stupid enough to share.

           You’d been in the tent with Charlotte after her confession and traded glances between the three of them – Finn, Clarke and Charlotte – once you’d managed to get yourself under control. Your jaw tightened when Bellamy addressed you directly but you kept your attention in the opposite direction, not wanting to face him and bring out the anger boiling under the surface.

           Later on in the forest once you’d run away from the mob, you’d ran into Bellamy who offered his help. You begrudgingly accepted, knowing that Charlotte should get all the help she could get.

           You sauntered around in tense silence, avoiding Murphy’s makeshift mob and kept your eyes peeled for the small blonde. Darkness surrounded you once Murphy passed with all the torches and you were once again ignoring Bellamy as he quietly tried to speak to you.

           “Shut up!” You spat at the man behind you.

           “(Y/N), please. I’m so sorry, you have to believe me,” he plead.

           “I don’t have to believe anything,” you retorted, ignoring how close he was to you.

           “I didn’t do it to hurt you or scare you. They made me do it and I had to give them what they wanted or they would’ve killed him themselves,”

           “So, you get to kill Murphy for your people but I have to spare Atom for you?” You hissed back, annoyed at his cowardice, “They listen to you! If you and Clarke had been on the same page the riot would’ve stopped instantly! I don’t care what excuses you have, you’re a coward, Blake,”

           Bellamy flinched at the mention of Atom but you didn’t regret it. You’d shared the most personal aspect of your life with this man and then days later he managed to do the one thing he knew you couldn’t bear to experience again.

           You walked in silence until you’d caught up with Clarke and Finn at the edge of a cliff where you joined them in defending Charlotte. You stood in front of the group, your hand outstretched to keep the trembling child behind you and out of harm’s way. Or so, you thought.

           Clarke had managed to get into Murphy’s grasp, his knife digging into the soft flesh of her neck.

           “No!” Charlotte cried from behind you, catching your attention. “Please don’t hurt her!”

           You spat at Murphy, a hatred you’d never felt brewing inside you for the idiotic man. “She’s a fucking child!”

           “No one else is getting hurt for me,” Charlotte mumbled behind you and you twisted to face her again, only to realize she’d taken a few steps backwards towards the edge. “I’m sorry,”

           “Charlotte!” You screamed, falling to your knees and hurling over the cliff in an attempt to catch her. Your fingers grazed her flailing her and your desperation caused you to lean too far over the edge, the majority of your weight toppling you over and losing your place on the ground.

           “(Y/N)!” You heard your name being called.

           You hadn’t understood what was happening until after someone caught you midair, their tight grasp wrapped around your calves. Your heart stopped as the never-ending world expanded below you. You weren’t even able to see Charlotte hit the bottom and you weren’t sure if that was better or worse. On one hand, if you hadn’t seen it then it didn’t really happen. On the other, if you had seen it, you would never be able to unsee it and it would be just another page added to your existing trauma.

           You heard yelling erupt from behind you where the others were helping pull you back up over the edge. Your eyes stayed glued to the nonexistent ground below you. Would it really have been so bad to see the bottom? You couldn’t help but wonder.

           You winced at the bruises that would surely form under their grasps, acknowledging the pain growing. Acknowledging your continued existence. And also acknowledging the quick second that you wished it had ceased.

           You were thrown into strong arms that held you with such ferocity towards his chest. You shivered in Blake’s grasp, letting his comforting coos and petting hand soothe you. You gripped onto his upper arm, your head resting against his chest and your lap in his as he gripped you tightly, double and triple checking that you were truly there with him and he hadn’t lost you to the cliff.

           It took you a bit of time to be able to talk to Bellamy again. You still held him accountable for his actions against Murphy and you just needed the time to sort everything out after that eventful evening.

           Jasper had been there for you, as usual. But you didn’t understand why he grew tired of the conversation whenever Bellamy’s name was brought up. Blake had been the source of a lot of your pain and there was no denying his pertinence in the group but Jasper’s impatience grew every time the name was brought up.

           You concluded that it had been because the topic was more of a ‘girl talk’ kind of topic and luckily, yet not so much, you’d become closer to Octavia and Raven. Raven seemed like she’d dismissed your emotions, especially considering everything going on with her and Finn but Octavia was Bellamy’s sister so of course you couldn’t talk to her.

           That was, until you hadn’t spoken to anyone in nearly two days. You’d done your tasks in complete silence, not once complaining about the lack of food and barely acknowledging when you were relieved of your duty with Raven.

           “Okay, what’s up?” Octavia confronted you, her arms crossed before her, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

           You side-stepped her and headed towards your tent, “I can’t tell you,” you mumbled.

           Octavia reached out and grasped your arm, “(Y/N), you know you can tell me anything, right?”

           You eyed her quickly before motioning towards your tent with your head. She followed quietly and you opened the tent for the both of you to enter.

           After she took a seat she looked up at you, “Okay, spill,” she demanded.

           You sighed, suddenly aware of how alert you were. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and goosebumps erupted all over your skin. You fought the urge to keep your pain to yourself and told her everything that’s been brewing in your mind for days now. How you shared the darkest part of yourself with her brother only for him to recreate the scene that had you so disturbed all these years later. How his excuses bothered you to your core and how you hated that he was a leader his people wanted rather than needed. How his words had struck a chord with you that you weren’t sure you could forgive. How you toppled over the side of the cliff just to be saved by her brother. How vulnerable you felt in his hold. How confused you were because of the constant shifts between kind to cold and back again. It was all too much for you.

           After nearly an hour of crying and wiping tears and choking on your words, Octavia hugged you.

           She slowly pulled away from you and attempted to tuck some hair behind your ear, “You know why it bothers you so much, don’t you?”

           “Because I was dumb enough to trust him,” you retorted.

           A sad smile rose on her lips and she grasped your hands in her own, “(Y/N), you have feelings for-”

           “(Y/N)!” Raven called from the other side of your tent and you pulled away from Octavia to open your tent. Raven looked from you to Octavia and back again once registering your red eyes, “Am I interrupting something?”

           Octavia stood up and rested her hand on your back, “No, we were just wrapping up,” she said and you threw her a glance that let her know you were thankful for listening.

           “Are you sure?” Raven asked, her concern for you genuine but you only nodded in response.

           Turns out, she needed some quick help with the radio to the station and you helped to the best of your ability.

           “You know you can talk to me too,” Raven spoke up after a while.

           You shrugged your shoulders, never prying your gaze off of the machine in front of you, “You have a lot going on,”

           “That doesn’t mean I can’t listen to whatever’s bothering you,” she responded, twisting around the screwdriver in her hand. “You’ve been really off these past few days and everyone’s taken notice. They told me what happened with the little girl. How you almost died trying to save her. I know it’s probably a lot and my problems with Finn can be ignored for a few minutes to listen to you or cry with you,”

           You nodded, a numbness from earlier returning. “Thanks, Raven, but it’s a little bit more than that. I’ll tell you when I’m ready, okay?”

           She hesitated but nodded all the same and you returned to your tent to find Octavia missing. You spun around, fully expecting to see the brunette hanging around your tent, waiting for your return. Minutes passed and you still hadn’t caught sight of her. You tried to suppress the unsettling twisting feeling creeping up from your stomach, knowing Octavia had a tendency to sneak off and do her own thing.

           It’d only been when you saw worry etch across Bellamy’s face that you cursed yourself for ignoring your gut feeling.

           You joined the search party, not because Bellamy had asked you to but because if O was in trouble, there would be hell to pay for whoever had her. But when you finally came across her, you’d managed to observe the way the Grounder looked at her. A crease between his brow when he registered the injuries on her body, how his eyes scanned over her with concern. Those were not typical signs of an abductor. At least, not a sane one. But then again, who said anything about him being sane?

           You got to O before Bellamy did and you helped her stand, shielding her body with yours just in case the Grounder decided to attack. And he did. Finn shoved you out of the way and managed to get himself stabbed in the process.

           You picked up Finn by his ankles with the help of O while Bellamy grabbed his torso and brought him back to the camp. You stayed by Raven’s and Clarke’s side when they performed the surgery after Raven had proven her uselessness. She was too shocked, too close to Finn to snap back from her grief fast enough to assist Clarke.

           You’d never assisted in any kind of procedure before but somehow seeing Clarke pull the blade out of Finn’s side had caused your stomach to turn exponentially more than when you’d pulled your own knife out of Atom’s neck. Maybe because Atom was supposed to die, Finn wasn’t.

           Raven had just finished setting up the radio to the Ark and Abby was helping Clarke through the procedure and you cringed at her voice. It’d been years since you heard her soft tone ring in your ears. She was a good person. She’d tried to get you off the hook about the medication but the Ark’s surveillance had been enough to get you locked up.

           The racketeering of the drop ship caused Clarke to take out the blade too quick for comfort but you didn’t nick the artery that Abby had warned you about and that was success enough for you. You’d let Clarke take a break and offered to stitch Finn up, already aware of the sloppy work she’d done on Jasper and you didn’t want the same butchered scar for Finn.

           You’d been so caught up in the procedure on Finn, you hadn’t noticed the group building in the upper level of the ship. Octavia was shoved down the ladder and you caught her as she stumbled down just as Clarke and Raven stood up in panic. Something was wrong with Finn. He was foaming at the mouth and seizing. These didn’t seem like the normal symptoms of a stab wound.

           You sauntered over to the weapon, grabbing the blade off the counter and held it up to the light, deciding against smelling it as it would only reek of blood.

           “It’s been poisoned,” Clarke muttered and you stormed behind her as she made her way up the ladder, pounding on the latch to catch their attention.

           Miller opened the door and Clarke didn’t wait for his permission to enter. She swung it open the rest of the way and you followed her only to be stopped in your tracks at the sight before you. So this was what they were trying to protect Octavia from. The ungodly sight before you caused your hand to fly up to your mouth when your body heaved and the little contents in your stomach tried to make their way back up.

           Clarke snatched the blade from you, her anger and desperation overcoming her better judgement and you hissed as the weapon sliced through your open palm. Clarke whizzed around, her eyes landing on the fresh wound created from her recklessness.

           You looked up at her, a panic that you’d slowly begin to make peace with building. She met your gaze, her mouth open and bottom lip quivered.

           “(Y/N) . . .” She took a step towards you but you instinctively took one back despite knowing you had no reason to. “I’m so sorry,”

           “What?” Bellamy asked, not understanding the act she just committed. When he was met with silence, he repeated himself only louder, “What?”

           Your mouth twitched at the gash but you shook your head and grabbed, what you’d hoped, was a clean rag to tie your hand with. “It doesn’t matter,” you spoke to Clarke, “just get what we came here for,”

           She nodded once, not needing anymore convincing before turning to face the Grounder and holding the knife up to his face in display, “Where’s the antidote?” She interrogated.

           “Antidote?” Miller spoke up from behind you, delicately grasping your hand to assist in tying off the knot.

           “The blade’s poisoned,” you whispered, suddenly aware of Miller and Bellamy’s gaze drilling into the wound on your hand.

           That night had been long. Raven was lucky enough to bring Finn back from the brink of death and you ended up hurling when Bellamy drove the screw into the Grounder’s palm. In his defense, he’d given you all the option to leave. Your disgust with him grew after that. You knew Finn needed the antidote as soon as possible and now, depending on how lethal the poison was in doses, you did too. But torturing him was not going to give you the answers everyone desired so you didn’t hold back from yelling at everyone. You didn’t get to finish your rant as the poison made its way through your bloodstream and your vision went hazy, a pain emitting slowly from your center. You held out your hands around you, looking for something to grip onto before collapsing on the floor.

           It’d been Bellamy who caught you. You hadn’t found out until after you woke up, the antidote already making its way through your system. You’d been in and out all day. Your company switched from O to Jasper and Monty and if you hadn’t been imagining it, Bellamy himself.

           You were aware of his presence when he sat beside you, it was his words that you couldn’t quite make out in the haze of it all. He’d whispered words too quietly to be heard and you almost didn’t want to hear them. Your stance on Bellamy was on the fence and if he spoke confessed anything even remotely kind or humorous you knew you’d be back on his side. Convincing yourself he was just human and he had everyone’s best interest at heart.

           You woke up and managed to stay up the next day, the pain of hunger pulling you from your sleep.

           “There she is,” Octavia cheered but her tone was laced with hurt.

           You opened your eyes as best you could, bringing your hand up over your eyes to cover the blinding light. You didn’t say anything, only sitting up slowly from the uncomfortable floor of the drop ship and shook your head slowly, giving your body time to adjust to everything.

           You finally looked back up to Octavia and she furrowed her brows at you, holding out a hand and placing it on your back when she realized your attempt to stand up. “Take it easy,” she warned but you waved her off, stumbling under your weight.

           She gave you a look, “I told you. The poison weakens your muscles. It took Finn an hour before he could stand without falling over,”

           That would explain your body’s drowsiness. “How is he? Finn?”

           O let you lean against her as she led you towards the exit of the dropship. “He’s fine now. Just relaxing.” She shrugged her shoulders.

           “Raven? Clarke?” You stopped yourself before you uttered her brother’s name.

           She caught the slip, giving you another second before deciding you weren’t going to ask about him, “Clarke and Bellamy are out getting supplies that Jaha said would be around here. Raven’s not doing too well,”

           “What happened to Raven?” You asked, your concern for your friend winning out over your curiosity for the potentially life-saving supplies.

           “She broke up with Finn. He’d been mumbling Clarke’s name in his sleep after getting the antidote and it – it broke her. She knows she’s not what he wants,”

           Your heart dropped for your friend. You hadn’t known Raven long but her strength inspired you and knowing how torn she was going to be over someone she was so in love with – you shuddered at the thought. That was why you could never fall in love. The heartbreak of unrequited love would break you harder than you could imagine.

           You were pulled from your thoughts when a manic Jasper crashed into the both of you, “Grounders!” He shouted, his eyes crazed as he pointed to an empty spot on the field, “They’re here!”

           You looked up at Octavia, an eyebrow raised at his statement but she was too busy looking over the rest of the camp and you followed her gaze to a zombie-like pack of kids trudging through the dirt with the same crazed expression Jasper had.

           “What’s going on?” You muttered to her.

           She snatched a bag of nuts from Jasper’s hold and twisted a nut in between her fingers, “I think everyone’s high,”

           You returned your gaze to the crowd and nodded. Yeah. Everyone’s definitely high. Some, like Jasper, were on a bad trip while others had far off looks plastered on their faces.

           “(Y/N),” Octavia called, pulling your attention back, “I need a favor,”

           You didn’t hesitate to agree but you waited at the entrance of the dropship, making sure no prying eyes were curious about what was going on. You jumped at the sound of Octavia landing on the ground and you hesitated for a second before wrapping the Grounders hand up to stop the bleeding and threw an arm around your shoulder. You ignored the eyebrow raised in your direction and trudged to a hidden opening that O had come upon a few days prior. Once he was out of sight, you sighed in relief.

           As much as you hated to admit it, O had been right about your body being weak. Helping her escort the Grounder – Lincoln, you’d come to learn – had taken it out of you and you went back to the dropship to relax on the makeshift bed they’d made for you.

           When you finally laid down on the sheets, an uproar sprouted from outside but your exhaustion won out and you stayed put, straining your ears to hear the commotion. Bellamy had returned. And Clarke too, of course.

           Your curiosity for the commotion going on outside almost convinced you to get up again but you couldn’t even if you wanted to.

           “She’s awake,” You heard Octavia mumble from outside and you looked up at the curtained entrance just as Bellamy broke through.

           The sight before you caused your breath to catch in your throat. He looked tired. No, not tired. Exhausted. Whatever happened out there had taken it out of him but you weren’t surprised to be met with a fatigued smile from him as he plopped down beside you.

           There was a silence that passed between you, a comforting stillness that brought about your own fatigue. Bellamy looked up at you from behind the slight curls in his hair and you restrained yourself from brushing the strands out of his face.

           “About time, Sleeping Beauty. I thought we’d lost you there for a second.” Bellamy chuckled, noticing how your fingers inched closer to the hand he’d placed beside you on the ‘bed’.

           “It’s gonna take a lot more than a poisoned blade to kill me,” you muttered back, your eyes closing from the intensity of the lights in the dropship.

           “I don’t know about that, seems like you’ve had a death wish since getting her,” he joked but the smile never rose to your lips.

           “Yeah, I guess so, huh?” You nodded, thinking back on how you’d almost died nearly everyday since landing on the ground but was pulled from your thoughts when you felt fingers brushing lightly against your own. You looked down to see Bellamy’s fingertips barely sprawled over your own. You closed your fingers around the ones Bellamy had rested on your hand and followed the evident veins up his arms, guiltily admiring his physique until your eyes met his expecting ones. “And it’s always you that catches me,”

           Bellamy had offered you company in the cave, had pulled you back up from the edge of the cliff and last night, had caught you before you collapsed onto the ground.

           This time, you did brush away the strands blocking his eyes but you didn’t allow yourself to linger there, already trying to ignore how your body seemed to liven where you two were touching.

           You pulled both your hands back and wrapped them around your legs, trying to rest enough to regain some strength in your muscles. Bellamy shifted in his seat and handed you a gun and you’d been surprised you hadn’t seen him holding it before. It was too big to hide and easily spotted. You’d have to work on your observational skills.

           “Take this,” he said, handing you the weapon.

           You grabbed the gun and looked at Bellamy confused. Were you supposed to know how to work this thing? He chuckled at your expression and gave you a quick crash course on the gun’s anatomy and its uses.

           “Always act as though it were loaded,” Bellamy instructed and you rolled your eyes.

           “I know that,” you retorted.

           He shrugged his shoulders and observed how you handled the weapon, “It’s never a bad thing to remind someone. I figured you deserved one, you come out on rescue missions and hunts enough to need it,”

           You nodded and weakly smiled at him, “Thank you,”

           “No problem.” He twisted around, grabbing something out of his back pocket, “I also grabbed this for you,”

           He handed you a torn cloth and you raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Am I supposed to know what this-”

           “It was Charlotte’s,” He quickly spoke up and the silence returned before you ripped the dirty cloth in half and tied the other half on the handle of the gun, making sure it wouldn’t be getting in the way.

           You tied the other part onto your own gun in a different spot as to differentiate between the two and ignored the light squeeze on your thigh, a reassuring touch. A thank you.

           Fortunately, or rather not so, the next day was Unity Day and the Chancellor insisted on its celebration on the ground so you didn’t see Bellamy or anyone else for the rest of the day as they all went hunting and gathered supplies for the party tomorrow.

           It wasn’t until Finn popped into the dropship that you finally convinced yourself to stand up with his help. You didn’t let him speak, simply holding him in your arms and squeezing him close to you.

           “We thought you were a goner,” Finn chuckled and you pulled back to look him in the eyes.

           “I was the goner? I don’t think so, bud.” You joked and pulled away completely, bending over to strap the gun Bellamy had given you over your shoulder.

           “You need any help?” He offered.

           You lightly shrugged a shoulder but nodded. You didn’t need the help but you weren’t going to turn it down just in case. Finn placed a hand on your waist and you let yourself lean on him ever so slightly, allowing him to pick up some of your weight as you tumbled out of the dropship.

           “How are the preparations going?” You asked him, letting your eyes roam over the field of scurrying people.

           “They’re going. I’m set to go out hunting with Clarke later,”

           You bit the inside of your cheek in an attempt to fight off your curiosity but the silence that passed between you was abnormal and tense. Like he knew what was coming. “So . . . you and Raven . . .”

           He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist in response. The question made him tense, his discomfort visible enough for you to regret asking but he answered all the same, “Yeah, she – uh – she broke up with me,”

           You elbowed him lightly as Clarke came into view and made her way over to Bellamy, “She loves you so she’s willing to let you go.” Your eyes remained glued to the man radiating a confidence that you’d be ashamed to admit was calling out to you, “Just try not to show how relieved you are too quickly, yeah?”

           Finn cracked a smile and shook his head, “I’m not the one drooling over people,”

           You quirked up an eyebrow and pulled your head away to stare at him in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

           He chuckled loud enough to catch Bellamy’s attention and when your gaze met, you smiled at him.

           “That’s what I mean,” Finn retorted.

           “Oh, so I’m not allowed to smile at people now?” You gripped Finn’s shoulder tightly, feeling a weakness slither up your legs.

           His grip on your waist tightened and held you closer to him to allow yourself the chance to relax a bit, “People?” Finn questioned, “You sure he’s just ‘people’?”

           You instantly shook your head and rolled your eyes, “What else would he be?”

           He held up his free hand in surrender, “Nothing, apparently.”

           Finn instinctively loosened his grip on you as Clarke walked over to the both of you, Bellamy at her side.

           “Feeling better?” She asked, eyeing the spot where Finn gripped your side.

           You weakly nodded, “Barely, my legs are still weak but he basically insisted I get some fresh air,”            

           Clarke’s gaze fell as did her tense shoulders and you eyed her suspiciously. There’s no way she would think there was something going on between you and Finn. Not after how obvious it was that he would literally die for this girl.

           You merely chuckled to yourself and Clarke walked over to your free side, wrapping your arm around her shoulder and lightly lifted you up to ease the pain in your legs. You smiled at her and Finn dropped you from his hold, his shoulders pulled back as Bellamy eyed him up and down.

           “Here, let me help,” Bellamy offered, taking Finn’s previous spot but you pulled closer to Clarke.

           “Thanks, but I think Clarke’s got it,” you quickly said and wobbled down the ramp.

           You’d missed the way Bellamy flinched at your rejection and nodded, pulling Finn aside to discuss something with him.

           “Why are you doing that to him?” Clarke croaked up once you’d gained some distance from the men.

           “Doing what?” You hunched over slightly as Clarke unzipped Jasper and Monty’s tent.

           “Reject him like that.” She moved the makeshift door aside and you stepped in, tipping over the subtle lift on the floor. “You know he’s got eyes for you, don’t you?”

           “What? Why does everyone keep saying that?” You harshly retracted your arm from her shoulder and sat on the floor after greeting your friends.

           “Jasper!” Clarke nearly shouted and he faced her, “If you had to guess who had a crush on (Y/N), who do you think it would be?”

           “Bellamy,” Jasper and Monty answered at the same time.

           You shot them both a look and rolled your eyes, “No, he doesn’t, Griffin!” You fought back, resting on Jasper and massaging your leg just for Jasper to take over.

           “Yes, he does, (Y/N),” Jasper responded, mimicking your eye roll, “and you like him too,”

           “If we don’t stop talking about this right now I’m sacrificing someone to the Grounders,” you threatened, staring daggers at your friends.

           Clarke sighed and said her good-byes before stating she was going to leave the camp with Finn and you waved her a meager good-bye. You turned your attention towards the stressed-out boys to find them working on a contraption of some kind.

           “What’s this?” You asked.

           “We’re making moonshine for Unity Day tomorrow,” Monty spoke up and you stood up slowly with his assistance.

           “Can I help?” You offered, “I do happen to know a thing or two about machines,”

           They shared a glance but agreed to let you help. Not in the way you had intended though. They were sending you out on scavenger hunt, looking for tools or scrap parts that they needed. At one point, they’d sent you to get something you had never heard of but they insisted that Bellamy would know what they were talking about and he could help you find it.

           “Don’t do anything stupid!” Jasper teased as you stepped out of the tent, your legs nearly yours again.

           “Does setting your tent on fire count as stupid?” You shouted over your shoulder only to receive a quiet ‘yes’ from a distressed sounding Monty.

           You chuckled at them and headed towards Bellamy’s tent. You didn’t call out to him, thinking he’d gone with Clarke and Finn on the hunting trip. You were wrong as hell.

           You pulled the tent flap aside and stopped in your tracks at the sight before you. It was strange, really. It was almost like you’d gone deaf for a few seconds as your mind tried to process what you were seeing. You flinched at the unwelcome feeling erupting in the pit of your stomach. It was different than the sensation from before. This one made you want to throw up and runaway rather than run to the source as it had previously.

           You flinched again as your presence was noted by the two having sex. Raven hopped off of Bellamy and flew to grab her underwear near the bed. You’d been frozen enough to see more than you were comfortable with and muttered one apology right after the other as Bellamy began to stand up, his thin sheet wrapped around his exposed hips and you lurched away.

           You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew that you needed to be completely and utterly alone. No interruptions. No pitiful eyes staring at you as you tried to understand why your chest ached and your stomach twisted hard enough to elicit nausea.

           Just. Alone.

           You tried to casually make your way out through the crack in the wall, thankful that Octavia had shown it to you previously. You slithered through the opening and waved at the guard on the wall, stating you were sent out to join Clarke and Finn. The guard nodded and you made it passed the trees, letting the dense forest engulf you and provide a solidarity you wouldn’t have had at camp.

           You didn’t know how long you walked and you didn’t care. At this point, the fatigue in your legs wasn’t due to the poison. Your feet ached with a throb and once you were sure your screams wouldn’t be heard from camp; you collapsed on the floor and rested your back against the nearest tree.

           You hugged your legs to your chest and threw your head back, looking up at the leaves on the tree. The first sob came against your will. Your body racked with the motion and you bit your lip hard enough to break the skin. No. Why are you crying? Stop.

           The second sob arrived harder than the first and you let the tear fall with no intention of hiding it. You had nothing to hide. No one to hide from. So you let the third one come at the intensity which it pleased. Your throat constricted in pain as the ache throbbed in your chest and exited through your tear ducts.

           Get over yourself. Stop crying. What would that do? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

           Your tears wouldn’t stop the vision from haunting your mind, the scene playing over and over again. You wished you hadn’t seen the expression of pleasure he had plastered on his face at the sensation of Raven – well, you know.

           Your vision was obscured by all the tears and you weren’t sure when you’d stood up and started punching the tree that provided you such solace mere seconds ago but you didn’t stop until the skin on your knuckles were torn open and the pain from your chest had travelled its way to the blood that you splattered all over nature.

           “(Y/N)?” You heard your name being called from behind and you lifted your name at the intrusion, your first still connected with the trunk.

           You whipped your head around to see Octavia at Lincoln’s side, the expression of concern on her face apparent. She grabbed Lincoln’s hand and dragged him over to your side where you finally dropped your hand back to your side, letting the blood drip down your fingertips onto the floor.

           “What are you doing?” She nearly yelled, grabbing your hand delicately in hers. “What happened?”

           You sniffled and dragged your sleeve across your face in a pathetic attempt to dry the tears. “Nothing,” you croaked out.

           Lincoln shifted in his place, watching as more blood slithered through your fingers.

           “Don’t give me that bullshit, (Y/N). Something happened,” she chastised.

           You turned to look away from away, ashamed at the extremity of your actions at the situation, “Nothing important, Octavia.” You tried to pull your hand out of hers but her grip tightened last second and you hissed at the pain.

           “Those tears are ones of the heart,” Lincoln uttered and your gaze flicked to his, glaring at his bold truth.

           “The heart?” Octavia questioned before a look of understanding shadowed her expression, “What happened?” She further instigated.

           You sniffled again and looked down at the wound on your hand, “Raven . . .” there was that scene again that refused not to repeat in your mind.

           “Something happened to Raven?”

           I wish.

           You shook your head at the thought and took the first fulfilling breath in over an hour, “Raven was . . . she was with Bellamy . . . and I caught them-”

           Octavia pulled you into her arms before you could finish and a relief washed over you at not having to verbalize your pain. You let her hold you and caress your hair as more sobs racked through you. The three of you stayed like that until you could compose yourself with the setting of the sun.

           “We should get back,” you uttered but Octavia shook her head.

           “No, we can stay out here with Lincoln if you want,”

           You eyed her, “You know they’d send a search party out for us,”

           “Good!” She yelled, “Let him worry!” She ran her hands through her hair and shook her head, “God, what an idiot,”

           You thanked Lincoln for his patience and grabbed O’s hand, letting her and Lincoln lead the way back and you thankful for their presence because you hadn’t kept track of how to get back. You weren’t even sure where you were.

           The sun was nowhere to be seen by the time you guys made it back. Octavia said her good-byes to Lincoln a few miles earlier and the rest of the way was full of consoling. When the light from the camp was visible, you could tell havoc was ensuing and you tensed, preparing yourself to face the consequences.

           O led you back in through the crack and you hid amongst the dimly lit walls until you’d both made it her tent where you snuck in and turned on a lamp. Octavia let you lay down in bed with her, her arm wrapped around you and holding you close.

           After a few minutes of comforting silence, she spoke up, “You’re probably hoping for the other Blake sibling,”

           Despite your numbing pain, you laughed and snuggled closer to her side, “No. You’re the sibling I want right now,”

           She smiled down at you and ran her fingers through your hair until a loud shuffling beside her tent alerted her and you two sat up. You quickly wiped at your face just in case and winced at the forgotten gashes on your knuckles.

           “(Y/N)?” You heard panic in the tone and you looked up to find a concerned Jasper staring at you.

           “Jas, I-I’m sorry. I should’ve told you I was gonna leave but I was so caught up in everything that I didn’t think to stop –”

           “What happened to your hands?” He asked, his eyes glued to your fists and you hid them at your side, “They’re here!” He shouted and you shot your attention to Octavia who looked cool as a cucumber. “Bring bandages!”

           A stomping hard enough to shake the ground emerged until you could see almost everyone’s head peeking through the entrance of Octavia’s tent. Jasper took a step in when Octavia confirmed it was okay and he stood in front of you, his hands encasing your face momentarily before throwing you into his arms and you were surprised at the weight that lifted at his actions. Maybe you could lean on Jasper more than you had assumed.

           Clarke shoved through everyone, a panic set in her features but Octavia grabbed the bandages from her and offered you her hand, waiting for you to willingly place your hand in hers.

           You shook your head, “I’m fine,” you whimpered out but submitted all the same at O’s glare.

           Your grip on O tightened as the thundering voice that’d calmed you on so many occasions erupted from the crowd. “Back up!” He shouted, making way for Finn and Monty to step through.

           “Hey, what happened?” Finn asked, searching in your eyes for answers you were unwilling to give him.

           You avoided his gaze and looked up at O, panic set in your features as the lie swirled around in your head.

           “We went hunting together,” she coolly said, wrapping the cloth over your hand, “Got back a lot later than we planned,”

           Short and sweet. Good.

           He didn’t have to speak for you to know he had finally entered the tent and Jasper, Finn and Clarke didn’t miss the way you tensed in Octavia’s hold.

           “How’d you get those cuts then?” Bellamy asked but you kept your gaze locked with O, desperate for her to take the reins.

           “She . . . fell. Still weak from the poison, it messed her up,”

           Your free hand gripped around Jasper’s and he blocked your body from Bellamy’s sight. Your discomfort was evident on your face and if suspected you of lying, which he did, he wasn’t going to drop the subject any time soon.

           Jasper wasn’t tall enough to conceal you completely from him and despite him clearing his throat and asking you direct questions, you never once looked up at him. “Give her some space,” he ordered, sending Monty, Finn, Jasper and Clarke out of the tent.

           Jasper stood his ground but after Bellamy glared at him, you reassured Jasper it was okay and he begrudgingly left. Then, Raven entered and it wasn’t your grip that tightened but Octavia’s and you winced again.

           “Sorry,” she mumbled, loosening her grip and tucking the bandage under itself before motioning for the other hand.

           Bellamy didn’t look behind him when Raven spoke up, his eyes scanning you up and down to double check for any other wounds. He knew Octavia had been lying but he also knew the reaction he’d get if he pushed.

           “Get out,” Octavia ordered, her tone cold and demanding.

           Raven gripped your hand and Octavia pried it from your body. Octavia never minded Raven, she just didn’t particularly like her either.

           “O,” You grasped her forearm and pulled her back from her defensive stance against Raven.

           She stood still a few seconds more, her glare speaking volumes louder than her words would but eventually brought her attention back to wrapping your hand up.

           “(Y/N), I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you liked-”

           “Sorry?” You tilted your head to the side slightly but remained focused on the way Octavia worked with your hand. “For what?”

           You could feel Raven look up at Bellamy for some kind of backup but his attention was fixated on you. You almost wished he’d look at her, the feeling of his eyes boring into you was beginning to make you uncomfortable.

           “What you saw earlier, it’s not what you think. I was just stupidly trying to get over Finn because of everything that happened between us and-”

           “Are you over him?” You interrupted, your voice monotone and you let your pain dissipate for a numbness to take over.

           “N-No,” she muttered.

           “Then I guess it was pretty stupid, huh?”

           Octavia nodded, not looking up at either of them, “Seconded,”

           Raven flinched at your words but stayed strong in her defense, “(Y/N), please. I’m sorry. If you would have told me you liked Bellamy I wouldn’t have-”

           “Why would you think I liked Blake?” You spat, finally snapping your attention to her, ignoring the wounded puppy look Bellamy had plastered on. “Why would you think I felt anything towards him?” This time you faced Bellamy directly but his gaze was enraptured on your shoes, “I couldn’t give less of a fuck about him,”

           He glanced up at you through the strands of his hair and you scoffed, mostly at yourself. How could he, in all your rage, still somehow make you want to leap into his arms and let him comfort you?

           “(Y/N) –” Bellamy finally spoke again.

           You turned your attention back to Octavia who had finished with your hands and you walked over to the exit after thanking her, “You’re both adults who can do whatever you want.” You took one step out of the tent before Octavia offered to let you spend the night with her. You nodded and faced Raven, “I’ll let you get back to getting over Finn,”

           Raven’s expression fell and she walked out of the tent without saying another word. And then there were three.

           “Run along.” Octavia motioned with her hand and you kept your gaze down to the ground.

           “O,” Bellamy warned but she kept her disposition and crossed her arms, “can I just get a minute?”

           Octavia looked over at you and against your better judgement, you nodded.

           “One minute,” she uttered, leaving the tent and closing it behind her as if that would do anything to provide privacy. “Clock’s ticking,” she shouted.

           “What do you want, Blake?” You spat, crossing your arms over your chest and jutting your hip out to the side. A glare on your face fierce enough to scare off the gods.

           “I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but please just listen, you don’t have to say anything,” he waited to see if there was any protest on your behalf but after a few seconds of silence he went on, “I’m sorry you saw what you did but you’ve taken it completely out of context. You don’t know what happened,”

           “Of course, I do,” you retorted, “Selfless, altruistic, Bellamy Blake had to save a damsel in distress, didn’t he?”

           “(Y/N), please,” you flinched at the sound of your name leaving his lips, “it didn’t mean anything,”

           “Does it ever with you?” You questioned, “I’m almost convinced your goal is to screw everyone in camp just to boost your ego. Does it make you feel good inside, Blake? Do you feel like top dog with all these women in your bed?” You scoffed. “Or is it just you asserting your superiority over the camp?”

           “That’s not-”

           “Maybe it’s that you just can’t say no?”

           “No, (Y/N), please don’t –”

           “Maybe you’re just lonely?”

           “(Y/N), don’t-”

           “You’re just like everyone else. Pathetic,”

           He shook with fury, his hands balled into fists by his sides, “Why do you care?”

           “Why do I care?” You shouted back, “Because I . . .” you took a step back from Bellamy and stared down at the bandages around your hands, evidence of the pain you were so desperate to get rid of just a few hours ago, “I- I don’t know. I don’t know why,” you whispered.

           Bellamy’s anger disappeared as quickly as it’d come and his expression softened as he held out a hand towards you, “Yes you do,” he responded, closing the space you’d just created, his breath grazing against your cheek. He lifted his hand up and trailed his fingers down the side of your face.

           You fought the urge to lean in to his hold and immerse yourself in what was Bellamy Blake. You desired his warmth and words and hold and simply everything he was. The good with the bad and everything in between.

           Your hand trailed up his own and you closed your eyes at the feeling. Your grip around his wrist tightened and you opened your eyes to glare daggers at the man above you before chucking his hand to the side. “Leave,” you ordered with venom.

           He furrowed his brows at your reaction and lifted his hand up again, “Why? Why can’t you just admit it?”

           “Admit what? That I thought you had a soft spot for me just to find you screwing my friend?” you hissed, “Because if that’s it then there you go. You had me fooled, Blake. Good for you. Thanks for fucking with me; now go mess someone else up because I’m done riding this rollercoaster with you.” You turned your back to him and bent over to take your shoes off, an indicator that the conversation had come to a close. “Why would you want me to confess to anything anyway? If I say the words would that end the game? Because I’m tired of playing it,”

           “That’s not why I want you to admit it to yourself and you know that!” He shouted.

           “Actually, the only thing I’m sure of is that I’m not sure about you.” You turned back around and looked over his shoulder, motioning to the exit, “How about this, you go and figure out what you’re so desperate to hear me say and why you wanna hear it so bad. Then you get back to me when you figure it out. Until then,” you pointed to the entrance.

           His expression fell and you really wished you hadn’t looked down at his lips at that moment. You held fast in your stubbornness and watched with a yearning as he let your words sink in and left the tent only for Octavia to enter a few minutes later.

           “That was more than a minute,” you complained to her and she smiled sadly.

           “You needed it,”

           “Did I?” You questioned, throwing your pants off and scooting over in Octavia’s bed to make room for her.

           She copied your actions and let her hair loose from its braid before lying next to you and resting her hand on your face where you cupped her hand in yours.

           “Yes,” she muttered, “Listen, (Y/N), I know Bellamy’s an idiot but –” she shrugged her shoulders, “I know he likes you,”

           “And he’s told you this?” You urged.

           Octavia shook her head and you scoffed but she interrupted your self-pity, “He doesn’t have to. It’s how he looks at you. He always asks about you. You should’ve seen him when you were sick, he was a mess,”

           “A mess?” You hadn’t realized you’d repeated it back to her.

           “Mhmm. If it weren’t for the camp needing food for tomorrow, he never would’ve left your side,”

           “That might’ve been better, maybe I wouldn’t have caught him with Raven,” you replied.

           “Yeah, I can only defend him for so long,” she joked, looking up at you as you shared a pillow, “I’m not saying you have to forgive him. You can feel whatever you want. I’m just saying he’s clueless and he’s head over heels for you,”

           “Then why sleep with Raven?” You asked, as if she were him.

           “I don’t know, babe. Raven was trying to get over Finn . . . what if Bellamy was trying to get over you?”

           You lied on your back and sighed, “That doesn’t make sense,”

           “Not much ever does,” she said, dancing her fingertips along your arm and you faced her again, a small smile plastered to your face, your smile lines deepening with the dim lighting in the room.

           “I love you, O,”

           She smiled back at you and rolled her eyes, “I love you, too,”

           You two talked for hours that night about Lincoln and your life on the ark. You listened to her share the despair at hiding under the floorboards of her room, never getting to leave the room. You understood then how free she must be feeling. Not only does she not have to hide anymore but she practically had no parental supervision. She was free. And in love.

           The next day, you’d been stuck to Octavia’s side like glue. Even when you were sent out hunting and Bellamy insisted on going with his sister.

           The hunt was tense. No need it to be any quieter than it already was due to all the tension in the air. At one point, Octavia turned around pretending to grip at the air.

           “What are you doing?” Bellamy asked.

           “Feeling the tension,” she responded and you couldn’t help the snicker.

           Bellamy’s eyes flickered to you and the only reason you noticed was because you’d given in to throwing a few glances his way too.

           “You got a knife to cut through that tension?” He asked, once realizing the affect her joke had on you.

           You flinched at his voice, hating it and still wanting to hear more of it. But you smirked all the same at his words.

           “Well, actually –” she brought her blade out from her side, glinting it in the air and she opened her mouth to respond when you shushed her.

           She threw you an offended look but you merely held your hand up before bringing a single finger up to your lips and then pointing down at what had caught your attention. Bellamy and Octavia turned their heads in that direction and their eyes widened.

           “A deer,” Octavia gasped.

           “A doe,” Bellamy corrected and O rolled her eyes.

           You threw your gun over your shoulder and grabbed the spear tighter, making sure to stay close to the ground and hope it wasn’t a windy day. Not that you’d paid much attention to that up until that point.

           Bellamy had gone to take a step closer but you paced your hand on his chest, catching his attention. Your skin burned where you connected with him and you reluctantly pulled back and motioned to the stick he was about to step on.

           You slowly moved closer, careful of your steps. You observed as the animal drank from a stream and you almost felt bad about what was going to occur. But it was that or your people starve. You took a slow, deep breath and raise the spear above your head and threw it with all your force. Octavia shouted as your aim hit its mark and you all made your way over. You couldn’t look at the animal as you retracted your weapon and let Bellamy carry most of the weight back to the camp.

           As soon as the doe was dropped onto the ground you dropped your spear and went over to Jasper only to her footsteps erupt from behind you.

           A grip on your arm twirled you around and you raised an eyebrow at a red-eyed Raven.

           “What?” You asked, too lazy to cross your arms.

           And like the doe, you almost felt bad for her. She looked like she had beaten herself up overnight. The dark circles under her eyes highlighting her pain and the weakness in her voice tore a sympathy from you.

           “I’m sorry,” she said. “I wish you would’ve told me that you liked Bellamy. I wouldn’t have even considered it if I’d known,”

           You sighed, looking down at your boots, “D-do you like him?”

           She almost chuckled at the question, “Gross,” she drawled out in typical Raven fashion and you felt the familiar tug at your lips.

           “Then why?”

           She shook her head, “I was in pain, he was in pain. We were just using each other. If anything it only made everything worse,”

           You jerked your mouth from side to side but ultimately nodded. She wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. Raven was almost, if not more, loyal than a dog to its companion. You couldn’t hold it against her. She didn’t know. Hell, you still didn’t know.

           She sighed in relief and threw her arms over you, holding you tightly to her. “Thank God,”

           For the rest of the day you helped everyone set up preparations for the party that night. You ran into Bellamy a few times but looked away and walked the other direction whenever he’d open his mouth to say anything.

           “I’ve done it!” Jasper shouted, a cup in his hand.

           “WE did it,” Monty corrected and you chuckled.

           “What did WE do?” You asked, an eyebrow raised at them.

           “Take a sip and find out, Princess.” Jasper handed the glass over to you and you brought it up to your nose to take a whiff, “I wouldn’t do that, just take a swig,”

           You rolled your eyes but tipped the glass over once the firepit had been ignited and you gagged at the taste. “That’s disgusting,” you retched but fought to swallow the liquid anyway.

           “Maybe. But it’ll get the job done,” Jasper said, wiggling his eyebrows and he refilled your cup before announcing to the camp at the miraculous concoction.

           The camp erupted in screams of excitement and they made their way over to the tent to get their share. You knew Octavia had planned to hang out with Lincoln tonight, not giving a damn about Unity Day and all. You just wished you could’ve gone with her. This party felt forced but maybe that was necessary. Everyone was stressed with adjusting to the new lifestyle so maybe getting drunk and just acting like kids was exactly what people needed.

           You walked over towards the fire, entranced how the flames danced. Jasper took his place beside you and grabbed your hand with his free hand.

           “Wanna dance?” He asked and you quirked an eyebrow.

           “Really?”

           He nodded, “Raven connected the radio to the Ark’s system so we’ve got the entire playlist at our disposal,”

           You laughed and nodded as Jasper motioned for Raven to start the music. You finished your cup and set it down before joining Jasper around the fire and let the music move through you. There was nothing sensual about the dance, it was a lot of head banging and moving in circles, screaming the lyrics out with Jasper. You were laughing too hard half the time to actually be saying the words and after you downed your third cup, things began to go fuzzy.

           “This rocks!” You motioned to the drink and threw Jasper a thumbs up as he feigned jazz hands.

           “I know!” He shouted over the music, the light of the fire glistening off the sweat on his face.

           You raised your cup in the air, the alcohol giving you a bravery you didn’t know you could attain. You moved your hips to the beat of the song, the music slithering through you and you closed your eyes, letting it consume you. The heat from the fire struck your face but you didn’t mind the warmth, you welcomed it. It was as though you and the flame were one, your strength, luminosity and heat flaring up for everyone to witness. And boy, were they witnessing.

           You’d earned a few hoots from the crowd and laughed at their crass or, rather, yours. You didn’t care who watched you move sensually. The music had controlled you and the liquid in your body let the music do as it pleased. So much so that you didn’t stop when you felt a body pressed against your back and ass. You glanced behind you and noticed a boy you’d seen from around camp. You’d never spoken to him before but he was cute enough so you threw your arm over your shoulder and led his head to your neck, letting the little butterfly kisses peppering down your shoulders excite you.  

           He handed you another drink and the heat from the fire and his body made you thirsty so you were downing them faster than you probably should have. You rested your head on his shoulder behind you and closed your eyes, your body coming alive for the first time since the Ark. When was the last time you’d been touched? You could barely remember. All you knew was that you weren’t opposed to how his hands slithered around your waist and rested on your lower stomach, his hands inching slowly towards his goal.

           You opened your eyes as the hands were ripped from your side and the presence of his body was yanked away. You turned around abruptly, tumbling slightly as you tried to process what you were seeing. Bellamy had the blonde boy by the collar and he was seething, barking orders at the poor boy to resume his position on the wall for guard duty.

           Bellamy faced you, his anger evident but you just laughed, finishing your cup and stumbling over to Jasper for more. He’d tapped out of dancing a long time ago and you sat on the ground beside him in his makeshift circle alongside Raven, Monty, Clarke, Finn, Harper and Miller.

           “Having fun?” Raven teased, watching you sway in your seat to the music.

           “I feel so good.” You nodded and they all laughed at your boldness.

           “What are we doing here?”

           “Playing a game. You wanna join?” Monty offered and you nodded.

           “Please,” you jumbled out.

           “Alright, then you’re up,” Monty said just as a presence sat down beside you, “Truth or dare?”

           “Dare,” you answered instantly, your eyes partially closed.

           “I dare you to pirouette to the fire and back,” he was starting you off easy and you groggily got up, stumbling over yourself.

           “Easy.” You raised your hand above your head and spun around, heading towards the fire.

           “You’re not spinning!” Miller shouted after you and you stopped in your tracks.

           “Are you sure?” You hollered back, looking around you, “Because everything’s spinning for me,”

           Everyone erupted with laughter but you finished your dare, needing a break midway as you fought the feeling of bile coming up.

           “Who’s next?” You asked, leaning on Jasper until the world stopped spinning.

           “Truth or dare?” Finn asked Bellamy.

           Bellamy looked up at him and shook his head, “I’m only here to watch,”

           “Then you’ve gotta leave the circle, only participants are allowed,” Clarke chastised, fake guilt plastered on.

           “Fine. Dare,”

           Bellamy completed his idiotic dare and despite his attempted straight-faced expression, you could tell he was enjoying himself. He was living the childhood he should have had. One care-free full of idiocy that would eventually become something to laugh about later.

           “Truth or dare?” You asked Jasper and he smiled.

           “Truth,” he responded.

           “Have you ever had a crush on me?” You asked bluntly.

           Jasper laughed but nodded, “Right before we became best friends,”

           “Aww, Jas. I wish you would’ve told me,” you teased.

           “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truth or dare?” He asked you.

           “Truth,”

           “If you had to date someone here, who would it be?”

           You could feel Bellamy tense beside you but your drunken state paid no mind to it, “Myself!” You responded, “No one’s gonna treat me better or worse than I will,” you joked and Jasper rolled his eyes.

           An hour passed of your idiocy and you went from drunk to just buzzed and excused yourself from the circle to go back to the fireplace and you stood in place just admiring the flame. You took a sip from your cup and closed your eyes, the slower music now playing causing you to sway your hips ever so slightly before stumbling and hitting a warm surface.

           You looked up to see Bellamy looking down at you, concern etched in his features. “You okay there?” He asked and you nodded. “Well, don’t let me stop you,”

           You straightened up and smiled at him, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him against you as you gently swayed to the music. He tensed in your hold but managed to relax when you rested your head against his chest.

           “You smell good,” you muttered more to yourself than him.

           His chest rumbled when he chuckled and you snuggled closer to him, letting him wrap his arms around your waist as you rested your arms around his neck.

           “You really are drunk, aren’t you?”

           “Yes,” you responded curtly, nodding your head in an exaggerated manner.

           You two let the silence linger, its comforting ambiance enveloping you in all it had to offer. Bellamy eventually rested his head against yours and held your hand to his chest, swaying to the soft background noise of the crackling fire.

           You hadn’t noticed everyone had turned in for the night so you and Bellamy were the only ones outside, except for the guards, of course.

           “(Y/N),” Bellamy spoke up, his whispering voice breaking the silence.

           “Hmmm?” You asked, not quite strong enough to open your eyes.

           “Please don’t hate me,”

           You stopped abruptly and stood there, processing his shaky words. You pulled your head up and stared groggily in his eyes. “What?”

           He fought the instinct to look away from your gaze. There was something about it that always made his knees go weak and don’t get him started on your smile. He’d caught himself fantasizing about that smile that was burned into his mind on multiple occasions.

           “I just – I wouldn’t be able to handle if you hated me right now,” he confessed and your gaze softened, whether it was because of the alcohol or the warmth building in your chest, you didn’t know.

           “I don’t hate you,” you admitted, “I don’t particularly like you right now but I don’t hate you,”

           Bellamy smirked at the teasing glint in your eye and he shook his head, pulling you back into him and enveloping you again.

           “Have you figured out what you want to hear me say so badly?” You asked after a few seconds.

           “Have you figured out what you don’t want to tell me?”

           “You mean that I can’t look at you without seeing you screwing Raven?” You hissed as the memory resurfaced that dull ache you’d drank away.

           “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

           You shrugged, “I don’t see why you would be. It’s not like we’re dating,”

           “I guess not, huh . . .”

           “Nope,” you said and pulled away from Bellamy, nearly tripping over your own footing. “I think I should get to bed,”

           You didn’t give him the chance to reject the idea, you merely turned away from him and stumbled towards your tent, your hands stretched out in front of you prepared to catch you in case you stumbled again.

           “At least let me carry you there,” He offered but you ignored his hand.

           You lost your footfall and prepared to hit the ground but the impact never came and you felt your body get lifted into strong arms. You huffed, looking over at Bellamy who kept his eyes forward as if he wasn’t carrying you to your tent right now.

           After the short trek, he ducked inside your tent and placed you on your makeshift bed and took off your shoes.

           “You don’t have to do that,” you slurred out, watching him as he placed your shoes at the foot of the bed.

           “No, but I want to,”

           “You want to undress me?” You asked, a scoff at the end.

           He winced and shook his head, “Not necessarily. But I would do anything to get you to stop ignoring me,”

           “Well it’s gonna take a lot more than that to get me to start talking, buddy,” you said and slowly sat up, “Hey,” you tapped Bellamy on the shoulder and he looked up to see your panicked expression and how your body began to retch.

           He quickly shot up and lifted you up before running outside your tent and holding back your hair. Had you not been so drunk, you might have felt embarrassed. He rubbed your back until you were done and helped you back into bed, spreading the sheet over your body and making his way towards the exit.

           “Bellamy?” You called out, stopping him in his tracks. “Thank you,”

           Bellamy stood there, a small smirk dancing on his features.

           “What?” You asked.

           “That’s the first time you’ve said my name,”

           You smiled and let your eyes close for the final time that night.

           It’d been difficult to face Bellamy after that. When you awoke the next morning the memories of the previous nights affairs hit you harder than a truck and you cringed at your actions. You beat yourself up at feeling him hold your hair back while you threw up the alcohol in your system. God, he’d never let you forget it. If you even spoke to him again. What were you thinking dancing with him? You looked down at your hand, a small smile forming on your lips at the remnants of how his hand felt encasing yours.

           No. You were mad at Bellamy and dancing with him that way was the exact reason you were so upset. He’d led you on for so long, led you to believe he had interests other than the ones he’d showed to a few other females when you’d first landed. He didn’t stop you from fantasizing about his lips pressed against yours and the desperation and longing that you’d feel radiating off of him.

           Maybe, just maybe, he truly didn’t know he’d been leading you on. That would be better than him willingly stringing you along.

           You couldn’t stay in your tent for the rest of the day so you threw on your shoes and unzipped the flap on your tent.

           “Ah! (Y/N), my good lady, how are you feeling?” Jasper’s voice boomed and he threw his arm over your shoulder.

           You squinted at the harsh light of the day, “Like I just deep-throated the sun,”

           Jasper raised his eyebrow, “You sure it wasn’t someone else you were deepthroating last night?” He motioned to Bellamy who was sauntering towards you.

           You lightly elbowed him and rolled your eyes, “I’m not interested in him like that,”

           “Sure, and the sun doesn’t rise in the west,”

           “It doesn’t.” You chuckled at his confusion.

           “It doesn’t?”

           You shook your head and looked over to the figure who had cleared his throat. You both faced Bellamy who eyed you nervously and handed you a cup of water.

           “For the hangover,” He explained and you tight-lined your lips and nodded in thanks.

           Bellamy eyed Jasper, an expectant look on his face.

           “I think I should go . . . anywhere but here, really,” Jasper said and you argued with him to stay but you pried his arm off of you and shrugged, “Meet me in the upper level of the dropship when you’re done,”

           “Jasper!” You shouted as he abandoned you to the lion’s den.

           I’m sorry, he mouthed.

           You sighed and faced Bellamy, “So,” you started, waiting to see where he wanted to take the conversation.

           “So,” he responded back, “how are you? Headache?”

           You shook your head and hesitantly brought the cup up to your lips, “Nope, just the burn of the sun and a dry mouth.” You held up the cup to display the solution to one of your problems.

           He nodded and you two stood there for what seemed like ages before he spoke again. “Listen (Y/N) –”

           “No,” you interjected, holding up your hand, “I actually wanna say something,”

           Bellamy appeared taken aback but agreed all the same and waited.

           “I’m sorry,”

           “What?”

           “Yeah, it was dumb to be upset about what happened. I know you don’t really care about anyone other than Octavia so thinking that you might-” you bit your lip, trying to look for a better word but realizing there probably was none, “like me was stupid. It’s just that everyone was telling me that you were interested in me but I think I was under a different impression when it came to what kind of interested you were.” You shrugged your shoulders and looked up at Bellamy whose furrowed eyebrows indicated he didn’t understand what was happening.

           “What are you talking about?” He stopped walking and stood in front of you.

           “I’ve just kind of realized that you don’t really notice when you flirt and that mislead me to think you liked me but that’s kind of my own fault,”

            “I know when I’m interested in someone,” he retorted, crossing his arms.

           “Yeah but you treat everyone the same way. There’s always teasing or flirting when you talk. That’s just how you are Bellamy and it’s ok. I just didn’t know that yet,”

           “No, (Y/N), that’s not what-”

           “I think I’m gonna go help, Jasper,” you said and brushed past him, making your way to the dropship.

           “So, how’d it go?” Jasper’s teasing voice erupted once you’d closed the latch behind you.

           “How’d what go?”

           You didn’t have to see him to know he rolled his eyes, “Fine, act like nothing happened between you and the chief last night,”

           “It didn’t,” your voice fell flat and you sat next to him to help.

           “Dude, we all saw you guys dancing together.” You tensed at the memory and he sighed, “I know what he did was messed up and I’m not gonna defend him-”

           “Good then don’t,” you huffed.

           “But all guys are idiots. Raven straight up told you she was using him to get over Finn, it hasn’t crossed your mind that Bellamy might have tried to do the same with you?”

           “Nope.” You handed him a rag and avoided his gaze, “It doesn’t make sense, I never rejected him,”

           “Never to his face,”

           “What?” You placed your hand on your hip.

           “He doesn’t get how close we are. We touch all the time, we laugh all the time, we’re best friends. He might not get that,” Jasper tried to reason, “Plus, Finn has a tendency to be touching you a lot too,”

           “You had me and then you lost me,” you admitted, watching as Jasper stopped what he was doing and dropped his hands at his sides.

           “When you were sick, you walked out of the dropship in Finn’s arms. Even Clarke was jealous enough to take you away from him,”

           “Jealous?”

           Jasper scoffed and resumed his actions, “You can’t seriously be this naïve,”

           “Jasper, you’ve known me my whole life. Yes, I can seriously be this naïve.” You both chuckled and he threw the rag back at you.

           “I’m just saying, he probably thinks you don’t like him. Especially now that you keep blowing him off.” Jasper stood up and placed his hands on his hips, looking over his work and nodding his head in approval, “Alright, we’re done here. Let’s go get some food,”

           You smiled and cleaned your hands with the rag, placing it back on the chair once you were done using it. Jasper slowly opened the latch and descended down the stairs and just as you began to descend, you felt a hand on your ass.

           You looked down with curse words on the tip of your tongue and found Jasper staring at a suspicious looking Murphy.

           “Go back up,” Jasper whispered to you and your gaze flickered to Murphy’s feet where a corpse now lay.

           A soft cry escaped your lips and you grabbed the bar above you but Murphy aimed the gun at you and you froze, shaking your arm in fear as you held it up and landed next to Jasper just for him to slowly make his way towards the door.

           “Let her go, she doesn’t know what’s happening here,”

           Murphy scoffed and the sound shook you to your core, “We both know that’s bullshit. He deserved it,” he tried to reason and you shook your head in scared agreement. “He hung me,”

           “Murphy,” Jasper held one hand out in front of him and motioned for Murphy to drop the gun, “it’s okay. He deserved it,” Jasper repeated.

           Murphy wanted to believe him, you could see it cross his face for a split second but he shook his head, “No, you know what’ll happen to me if Bellamy finds out,”

           “If Bellamy finds out what?” Bellamy’s voice erupted over the walkie Jasper had hidden in his pocket.

           “Give me the radio,” Murphy threatened and took a step towards Jasper but you instinctively did the same and he raised the weapon at you again.

           You felt pathetic as the tears found their way down your face. You didn’t want Murphy to know you were terrified, he would indulge in it. But the way the barrel of the gun stared down at you caused you whimper.

           Jasper took the opportunity to bring the radio up to his lips and inform Bellamy of what was happening in the dropship. Your eyes widened as Murphy hit Jasper across the face with the gun and threw you onto the floor when he made his way to the button that would effectively hold you both hostage.

           You flew to Jasper’s side and held him in your lap. Murphy kept the gun aimed at the both of you as he spoke into the walkie. You’d spaced out his words, unable to pry your tearful gaze from the barrel centered on you.

           Murphy looked you up and down sadistically, his sly grin worrying you further. Minutes later, Murphy pressed the button to open the drop ship then grabbed you by your hair, yanking you up to your feet. The cold of the metal pressed against your cheek made you bite your lip to prevent from shaking.

           Jasper stood still in his place, unable to leave you behind but you nodded. If either of you was going to die today, it wasn’t going to be Jasper. He hesitated still but when Murphy pressed the barrel deeper into your cheek he walked out and Bellamy walked in, alerted at the sight before him.

           “Let her go, Murphy,” Bellamy warned, a venom in his voice that he couldn’t possibly back up.

           “She stays,” he replied and tightened his hold on your hair causing you to hiss in pain.

           Bellamy held up his hands, showing he was no threat, “Okay, okay,”

           “You son of a bitch,” you huffed and Murphy chuckled.

           “Bellamy was right, you’re a feisty one.” Murphy whipped you around, his malicious grin plastered wide, “Too bad such a dirty mouth is attached to such a pretty face,”

           You weren’t sure where your bravery arose from but you hacked up everything you could and spat it directly into his face.

           Murphy closed his eyes and shook his head. The pain erupted beside your eye and you were thrown onto the floor from the impact of the gun.

           “Murphy!” Bellamy shouted, “I’m the one you want, let her go!”

           You brought your hand up to the source of the red liquid dripping down your face and flinched at the sensitivity. That was definitely gonna need some tending to.

           You weren’t ready for the second blow to your face but the sting on your nose from Murphy’s boot threw your head back and you laid there immobile. You didn’t pay any mind when the blood pooled in your mouth, only attempting to hold your nose to try and calm the fire burning there.

           Murphy lifted his hand at you when you went to wipe the blood and you flinched away from him, earning a chuckle.

           “I swear to God I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Bellamy seethed.

           Murphy cocked the gun to your fetal positioned body, “You think so?”

           Bellamy tensed, “What do you want?” He yelled and you swayed your attention to him from the ground.

           Bellamy glanced at you, noticing your slight movement but his eyes told you to stay down. He wouldn’t be able to control himself if Murphy laid another hand on you and you both knew that wasn’t the smartest move currently.

           Murphy motioned towards the belt on the ground, “Pick it up.” Bellamy kept his eyes on him as he did, “Now tie it,”

           Your vision was hazy from the initial wound on your head but when you could finally make sense of what you were seeing, you whimpered.

           “Bellamy,” you cried but he didn’t tear his eyes from Murphy.

           “Don’t move,” Bellamy instructed but you sat up against the wall of the ship just for Murphy to threaten you.

           “I would listen to him, Princess,”

           You glared at him through the blood but stayed seated on the floor.

           “Now throw it over the bar,”

           Bellamy did as told and you slid your leg up quietly, making sure not to catch any attention.

           “Now let her go. She has nothing to do with this,”

           Murphy chuckled, “Oh but she does, Bells! You care about her; therefore, she’s of complete use to me in this little predicament of yours.” Murphy glanced over his shoulder at you then grabbed your arm and yanked you up, squeezing your cheeks in his hold and showing you off to Bellamy, “How could you deny yourself this, Blake?” He mumbled, pressing his nose to your neck and taking a deep whiff, “I can barely do it myself,”

           Your eyes widened at his insinuation. Murphy was a murderer but surely he wasn’t a rapist. Right? Please be right. The sob racked you before you could stop it.

           “That is, of course, unless you do everything I say,” Murphy muttered, letting his lips graze your skin ever so lightly.

           Bellamy’s jaw ticked but he didn’t hesitate to step onto the box at his feet and hang the noose around his neck.

           “Good.” Murphy tossed you towards Bellamy, “Now you tie that around his hands,”

           You looked at the rope at your feet and picked it up, looking at Bellamy through your tears. “No,” you whispered, shaking your head. “I can’t,”

           “You will,” Murphy urged and at this point your sobs were uncontrollable.

           Bellamy looked down at you and nodded his head, “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I promise. Just do as he says,”

           “Bells, I can’t,” You could barely force yourself to keep looking at Bellamy with that rope around his neck and all its implications. How did you get here? Why would Bellamy agree to be put in this position? And you would have to participate in Murphy’s sadistic ways. No. You wouldn’t. You couldn’t.

           “You can,” Bellamy whispered, his eyes red and brimming with tears.

           “Hurry it up!” Murphy yelled.

           “Go fuck yourself, Murphy!” You shouted.

           The bullet shot through your abdomen and you fell hard.

           “(Y/N)!” You heard your name shouted but failed to register much of anything else.

           Bellamy moved to take the rope off but Murphy was quicker and kicked the box out from under Bellamy’s feet. Bell fought against the rope, twitching and twisting, grabbing the rope from under his neck but the lack of oxygen weakened him and his body flailed just as a loud noise erupted from behind you and gunfire ensued.

           Stomps vibrated past your head and you heard a scream just as your head was lifted off the ground.

           “(Y/N)!” Jasper shouted through a horrified sob, “Stay with me!”

           You were hazing in and out, barely registering the soft smacks hitting your cheeks. People were racing up the ladder but Clarke shoved through them all and yelled at everyone to leave the ship so she could attend to your wounds. The chaos drowned out her words and Jasper lifted you up into his lap, pressing against your wound to keep from bleeding out but his touch was difficult to register against you. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t feel like anything.

           “B-Bell,” you muttered, groggily moving your head in the direction you’d last seen him and weakly pointed. You had to make sure he was okay. You couldn’t let the last time you’d see him be him hanging.

           “He’s fine,” Jasper responded, petting your hair and drawing your attention back to him. His eyes filled with tears and you meekly smiled at him.

           “I love you, Jas,”

           “No. No, no, no, no, no,” he begged, cradling you against him. “Don’t say that,”

           “Octavia, get everyone out of here!” Clarke yelled over the commotion then faced Jasper, “I need you to move out of the way, Jasper,”

           “No!” He shouted, tightening his grip on you and your quiet grunt caught his attention. He looked down at you then back to Clarke before nodding and dropping you slowly onto the floor.

           You were lifted up again and the shift pulled a shout of pain from your lips.

           “Gentle, Bellamy!” Octavia hissed and you smiled despite the stinging in your stomach.

           “Bell?” You asked through hooded eyes.

           Bellamy sniffed but nodded down at you, “I’m here, (Y/N),”

           “You’re okay . . .” you smiled up at him and coughed from the warm liquid building up in the back of your throat.

           Bellamy shot Clarke a look and placed you delicately on the same table Finn had been operated on a few weeks prior. Clarke ran to your side and lifted your shirt up, her hands feeling around your back.

           “There’s no exit wound,” she mumbled and Bellamy’s hand gripped yours tightly.

           “Which means?” Jasper asked from over her shoulder.

           “We have to get the bullet out.” Clarke whirled around and looked at Jasper, “If you’re gonna stick around, make yourself useful and get my supplies from upstairs. Pour alcohol on them first,”

           Jasper nodded and shot up the ladder. Clarke faced you again and glanced at Bellamy.

           “I’m not leaving her side,” Bellamy erupted as Clarke opened her mouth.

           “Then you’re gonna have to hold her down for this,”

           “O, keep everyone under control,” Bellamy instructed and she left the ship not a second later.

           The sound of Jasper’s boots hitting the metallic floor when he jumped off the ladder made your head spin. He dragged over a table and placed Clarke’s tools on it.

           “All sanitized,”

           Clarke grabbed an instrument off her makeshift tray and centered her attention on your paling complexion, “I’m sorry about this,”

           She motioned to Bellamy who positioned himself above you and held down your arms while Jasper did the same to your legs. Clarke dug her instrument into your body and the invasion erupted a blood-curling scream from you.

           “Clarke!” Bellamy yelled.

           “She’s bleeding too much, it’s impossible to see!”

           The instrument scavenged for the bullet and your body ignited with a searing and unusual pain. Your hips arose to try and escape the source of the torture and you thrashed about, the screams clawing their way through your throat. Jasper jumped onto the table and pinned your hips down, using all of his weight to assist Clarke.

           Your hazy vision blacked at the edges and you fought against the instinct to close your eyes. You didn’t want it to be the last time. It had become an arduous task mere seconds later and your body lacked the strength to continue.

           “(Y/N)! (Y/N), stay with me!” Bellamy shouted from above you, his voice cracking, “You can’t leave yet. Not yet,”

           You wanted to agree. Not yet. This couldn’t be the end for you. You had so many things left to do, a whole life ahead of you that was yours for the taking. But then you slumped in their hold and let unconsciousness overcome you.

           “Bellamy . . .” Clarke whispered, taking her hands away from your body and she looked up at the boy with tear-filled eyes.

           He never took his eyes off you, the weight of the earth crashing onto him, “No.” He shook his head with your hand held up to his lips, “NO!” He slammed his hand down next your head and glared up at Clarke, “Do something!”

           “Bellamy, she’s –”

           “Do something, Griffin!” He shouted over her and the stream of tears down Bellamy’s face caused her to nod.

           She returned her hands to your body and within seconds pulled the bullet from where it was lodged. She discarded the metal to the side and cleaned you up, taking a peek into the wound.

           “Doesn’t look like any organs were hit.” She grabbed the needle and thread and plunged it into your skin, pulling it out and through until the wound was sealed and the bleeding stopped.

           Clarke collapsed onto the floor and Jasper crawled off your body to sit next to her. He hadn’t really done anything but exhaustion overcame him still. Bellamy stayed perfectly still for nearly hours, your hand placed gently upon his lips.

           Eventually, after Clarke and Jasper had left to bring back some food only to find out Raven had been hit as well, Octavia crawled into the ship and sat beside her brother.

           Silence filled the room and she sat there quietly, waiting for him to be ready.

           “I hurt her,” Bellamy whispered, his eyes glued to your sickly features.

           She placed a hand on his shoulder, “No, Bells. She knew –”

           “Don’t lie to me, O.” He sniffled and his distant look made his sister uneasy. “I know she cried to you. Why else would you be so mad at me?”

           O sighed but nodded, “She-she was heartbroken,”

           He barely nodded, “That’s the last real memory she has of me. Of me hurting her,”

           Octavia didn’t know what to say, how to comfort her brother. So, she let the silence encompass them again.

           “It was stupid. Sleeping with Raven, I mean. She needed to get over Finn, I needed to get over (Y/N). I didn’t think twice about it. I just knew I had to stop obsessing over her and I-I thought sleeping with someone else would do that. I figured I just needed a lay, that that was the reason she was stuck in my head,”

           Octavia let her brother confess his sins to her, maybe it’d help him feel better.      

           “But then-” a dry chuckle escaped Bellamy’s lips, “-then she saw us and just the look she had on her face.” He shook his head and the sob racked through his body, “I fucked up!” He shouted down at (Y/N), “I’m sorry! I fucked up, I know! Please, please just come back and I’ll let you move on. I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do whatever you want but you have to wake up!”

           “Bellamy, I don’t think she’s gonna –”

           He whipped around and stared down at his sister, “She’s gonna wake up,” he hissed but Octavia knew it was a reassurance intended for himself and nodded.

           “I was actually going to say that she wouldn’t want you to let her move on. She wanted-” Octavia flinched at her word, “-wants you.” She stood up and began walked towards the exit, “Don’t let the chance pass you by if you get another one,”

           He didn’t see his sister after that. He knew she was with Lincoln and for once, he was happy about that. It’d been two days since the botched operation. Everyone had tried to convince Bellamy that you were more trouble than you were worth at this point, with the threat of Grounders constant but it became quickly apparent that anyone who spoke against you would feel Bellamy’s wraith.

           The looks of pity sent his way were worse. He’d much prefer judgement than pity. Pity meant he had lost something and he hadn’t. Your body hadn’t gotten cold and although weak, he could see the rise and fall of your chest. That was all he needed to fight for you.

           He returned to the dropship to find Jasper sat beside you, his head hung down. At the sound of Bellamy entering, he lifted his head and rolled his eyes at him.

           “Don’t you have an army to train?” Jasper hissed.

           Usually, Bellamy wouldn’t let such simple word bother him but he flinched at the accusatory tone held in Jasper’s tone. “They’re fine without me,”

           Bellamy took his usual place beside you and grabbed your hand again, letting the soft touch bring him some comfort.

           “It’s your fault, ya know,” No question about it, Jasper was informing Bellamy.

           “I know,”

           The answer took Jasper aback but his gaze remained hard, “If you hadn’t messed up so hard she wouldn’t have come to me to talk about you,”

           Bellamy took the beating, knowing he deserved it. “You don’t think I know that? Like that’s not what’s been eating me alive since this happened?” The memory of Murphy with his hands all over (Y/N) ignited his anger all over again. “I would’ve gladly taken that bullet,” he hissed, “she doesn’t deserve this. Any of this,”

           Jasper eyed him suspiciously but upon recognizing the pain hidden behind Bellamy’s eyes, his tone softened, “Well, you couldn’t really have known. Besides, I’m the one that told her to meet me here.” Jasper’s eyes scanned your body up and down, “She didn’t know she liked you. It was obvious enough but she was in denial,”

           “Denial?”

           Jasper nodded, “She couldn’t admit she liked you. That’s why you bothered her so much. That’s why what you did hurt so much. I think that’s when she realized how she felt about you. When did you know?”

           “Know what?”

           “That you love her,”

           Bellamy let Jasper’s words sink in and it was a while before he spoke up, “The night she was poisoned,” he admitted, “She cares with everything she has. Everyone should be a little more like that,”

           Jasper’s defenses fell and he nodded, “Caring has gotten her in trouble on multiple occasions,”

           Bellamy nodded, remembering how (Y/N) had stolen to save her mother and how she nearly killed herself trying to save Charlotte.

           “You know, if you’d just said something about how you felt then-”

           Bellamy shushed Jasper and his eyebrows rose in offense. He opened his mouth to speak again but Bellamy waved him off and stared at the hand he was holding, hoping to whoever was up there that he hadn’t imagined what he felt.

           Your finger twitched in his hold and Bellamy’s eyes widened, squeezing your hand back just for you to reciprocate the action. Jasper followed his line of sight and he stood up in shock when he witnessed your response.

           “Clarke!” Jasper shouted, running from the ship to come back with a cup of water.

           Bellamy smiled, watching as you stirred for the first time in days and the weight that had been on his shoulders lifted piece by piece. He could see your eyes shift under your eyelids and his heart stopped when you finally opened them.

           “B-Bellamy?” You croaked.

           Bellamy threw himself into your arms, tears streaming down his face at the sound of your voice. “(Y/N), you’re awake.” He ran a hand down your cheek and studied how your weak gaze focused on him.

           You noted how his cheeks were stained with tears and you tried raising your hand to his face to find it in his hand. You gripped his hand lightly and smiled at the disheveled looking man.

           “How long have I been out?”

           “Two days,” he responded.

           “That explains the hunger,” you joked and Bellamy stood up swiftly.

           “I can get you some food.” You tightened your grip on him as he attempted to walk away.

           “Stay. Please.” You tried not to look away from Bellamy’s gaze and he slowly took his place again, nodding. “How do you feel?”

           He chuckled, “How do I feel? You’re the one with a gunshot wound,”

           You retracted your hand and placed it on your chest before looking up at the ceiling, “I saw you hanging, Bellamy. I was so scared,” you admitted, tears beginning to build up. “I thought you were going to die,”

           Bellamy shook his head and the memory of the pressure around his neck caused him to flinch, “I’m fine, no serious damage. Just some bruising. I promise I’m okay,”

           You turned your attention back to him and a tug pulled at your lip, “I thought I’d lost you,”

           “Never.” Bellamy gazed down at you, his words holding a finality about them.

           “Promise?” You choked out and he grabbed at your hand again.

           “If you stay then so will I,”

           Clarke had told you to take it easy for the rest of the day and Miller caught you up on all the issues with the Grounders. You’d spaced out after that. You couldn’t defend yourself, let alone anyone else. You’d be a liability in this upcoming situation.

           Days later, you were up and working again. Or, whatever Bellamy passed as working. He’d given you the easy job of inventory at your insistence that he at least let you do something. The job barely took an hour to do each day and that was all the criteria you had to meet. You wanted to help with hunting but Bellamy always had someone watching over you to make sure you weren’t doing something you weren’t supposed to.

           Eventually, when Bellamy denied you another simple task, you snapped.

           “You can’t control me forever!” You yelled, your impatience reaching its peak.

           Bellamy snapped his attention back towards you, “Like hell I can’t! Clarke gave clear instructions to take it easy and that’s what you’re going to do!”

           “I can do more! I’m needed on watch or for hunting and I feel decent enough to do it!”

           “Decent isn’t good. It’s mediocre and not good enough. You’re not going on another hunt for a long time,”

           “WHY?” You shouted.

           “Because!”

           “Because what, Blake?”

           His frustration grew evident on his face, “Because-Because . . .” his loud tone further riled you. “Because I can’t lose you,”

           You froze, all the building anger completely dissipated at once. “What?”

           Bellamy screamed in anger, throwing a useless bullet across the room and you jumped, watching as it hit the wall.

           He ran a hand through his tangled hair and dropped his head, “I can’t lose you. Not after what happened,”

           Despite feeling roots take place in your spot, you trudged out of place and walked over to Bellamy’s distraught figure and placed a hand on his shoulder only for him to grab your hand and bring you against him.

           “Just stay here. You’re safest here,” he tried to reason, his hand coming up to your head and petting your hair.

           “Bellamy, I’ll be fine,”

           “Please don’t argue with me on this. You’re not fully healed yet, you need to get better before you get out there again,”

           You brought your arms up and wrapped them around his torso, pulling him closer against you. His warmth had been something you missed since all those days ago in the cave. It was welcoming and brought a comfort you couldn’t deny yourself any longer. No stubbornness could cease you from allowing yourself what he had to offer.

           “I know what happened was scary,” you started and despite feeling him tense, you continued, “but this is part of our new life. Hunting, fighting, death. We’re too busy to really live, just surviving day by day. And I have to help,”

           “No,” Bellamy said and pulled away.

           “Bellamy,”

           “No!” Bellamy whipped around but you’d already seen the tears on his face.

           You grabbed him by the arm and turned him around, “It’s not a big deal-”

           “I love you, (Y/N)!” He shouted, “And I cannot lose you!”

           You were planted in your spot, his words sinking deep into you until they absorbed into your very being. “Bellamy,”

           “Don’t. I don’t wanna hear about how you wanna throw yourself into the front lines even though you just escaped it!” He shook his head, “I don’t know if you have a death wish or something but –”

           “Kiss me,”

           Bellamy stopped mid-rant and glanced down at you, bewildered. He scanned your face hesitantly then closed the space between you, his hand snaking around your back and the other resting on your jawline. He pulled you into him and you ignited when your chest pressed into his, his warmth radiating a comfort and safety you immersed in.

           He gazed down at you, his hand guiding your chin up slightly parallel to his face. “Say it again,”

           “Kiss me.” You whispered against his lips.

           He leaned down and hovered his lips above yours, taking in everything you were, and pressed his lips against your own. Your body livened at the contact and you sighed out. His plump lips trailed along yours, twisting and adjusting as you pushed further into it, wrapping your hand up to grasp his and bringing the other behind his neck to engross him further.

         They were strangely soft, his lips; not the chapped mess you’d thought they would be. You danced in sync with his motions, the two of you pulling at each other as though the worst would happen if you were to pry apart. So, you stayed like that, melting into each other, your desperation and longing transmitting through the place of contact.

         When you two finally did pull away, it was by millimeters and the only thing you could hear was both your breathing. Bellamy had a broad smile crawling onto his face, his teeth fully exposed and his eyes closed, like he was stuck in the previous moment.

         “I love you.” He panted out again and you mirrored his smile before placing a delicate peck on his lips.

        “And what exactly does that mean?” You challenged.

        “It means, I’m yours.” His thumb grazed across your bottom lip. “If you’ll have me, that is,”

        You could roll your eyes at this womanizer but decided to relish in the moment instead, “I don’t like to share, Bellamy,” you warned, ignoring the quick pang of memory from before.

       “Neither do I,”

       “Then it’s settled,”

       “Wow, you’re so romantic.” Bellamy chuckled and this time you did roll your eyes.

       “I’m yours,” you tried again, feeding him the romance he desired and judging by the twinkle in his eyes, he’d eaten it up.

      “And I’m yours,”

[alyssawritesssfics]

Hounded [3] 3. Earth Kills

Pairings: Bellamy x OC // Kane x daughter!OC

Word Count: 3.3K

Warnings: violence, series spoilers

Summary: When trapped in a cave together, Athena sees a new side of Bellamy. One that she might actually like.

Author’s Note: Hii, I’m back with the third chapter/episode. The cave scene has been my favourite to write thus far (I know, we’re only on episode three) and I hope you enjoy it too! Please remember to note and reblog! It really helps me see interest and therefore update the story more often. Thank you! PS. If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters, please send me an ask with your @ and I will add you to my list!

previous chapter // series masterlist

The following day I found myself behind the dropship, collecting more wood for fires. We had returned to camp with the large cat Wells had killed, Bellamy using everyone’s hunger as a way to get them to remove their wristbands. I was able to hold out, sneaking some food once everyone had piled into the dropship for the night.

I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Jasper spent most of it groaning in pain, while the other delinquents yelled for him to shut up. The groaning was still going on, though I’d begun to tune it out for the most part.

Grabbing my pile of wood, I headed around the dropship and towards the fire, dropping it all into the pile Wells had started earlier. Just as the wood fell to the ground, the sound of screaming filled my ears.

I ran towards the dropship, climbing the ladder to the top floor and shoving the door open.

“Hold him still, I need to cut away the infected flesh.” Clarke held a knife in her hand, while Monty, Wells and Finn held Jasper down.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I asked.

Octavia soon climbed through the door, standing at my side. “Stop it! You’re killing him.”

“She’s trying to save his life.” Finn rolled his eyes.

“She can’t,” Bellamy spoke, joining us on the top floor. “Look at him, he might as well be dead already.”

Wells stood up, stepping in front of Bellamy. “Back off.”

“We didn’t drag him through miles of woods just to let him die,” Clarke said.

“He’s making us all crazy, Clarke,” I spoke up.

“This isn’t the Ark, Athena.” Clarke snapped. “Down here, every life matters.”

I shook my head. “I’m not saying his life doesn’t matter. Just look at him, he’s suffering. He’s not going to make it.”

Clarke shook her head, her eyes meeting Octavia’s. “Octavia, I’ve spent my whole life watching my mother heal people. If I say there’s hope, there’s hope.”

“This isn’t about hope, it’s about guts,” Bellamy said. “You don’t have the guts to make the hard choices. I do. He’s been like this for three days. If he’s not better by tomorrow, I’ll kill him myself.”

I kicked my feet and bit my lower lip, catching Wells’ eyes. “Athena, come on. You can’t be on his side.”

“I’m sorry, but I am,” I said, my eyes fixed on the metal floor beneath me. “The longer you four play doctor, the more he’s suffering for nothing. It’s time to let go.”

Bellamy and I turned to leave. “Come on, O.” He said.

“I’m staying here.”

Bellamy shook his head, climbing back down the ladder.

I turned to the group. “I hope you guys are right about this, but if you’re not…” I trailed off, shaking my head and heading down the ladder myself.

...

Later that afternoon, I watched as a group prepped to go hunting. The sound of Jasper screaming in pain was starting to give me a headache and all I wanted to do was leave camp.

When I spotted Bellamy exit the dropship to join them, I rushed to his side.

“Hey, you guys are going hunting?”

He raised an eyebrow. “We are.”

“Good, I’m in.”

Bellamy shook his head, smirking. “You want to go hunting?”

I stepped in front of him, both of us coming to a complete stop. “Look, I can’t listen to Jasper anymore. I need to get out of here. Besides, an extra hand can’t hurt, can it?”

Looking me up and down, Bellamy sighed. “Do you know anything about hunting?”

“No, but I’m a quick learner.”

“As long as you don’t get in the way, sure you can come.”

I clapped my hands together. “Let’s go then.”

...

We had been hunting for a few hours before finally coming across a boar. It was plumb, enough meat on its bones to feed all of us tonight. My mouth was watering just thinking about how good it would taste.

Bellamy pressed his pointer finger to his lips. “Shh… She’s mine.”

I watched as he stepped closer and just as he was about to attack, a stick snapped behind us. Bellamy spun around, throwing his axe in the direction of the noise as the boar ran off. The rest of the group, aside from Atom ran after it, screaming like a bunch of idiots.

Turning around, I spotted a young blonde girl peeking out from behind a tree. Her eyes were wide as she looked at the axe which had hit the tree next to her head.

Bellamy dropped his hands to his sides. “Who the hell are you?”

“C-Charlotte.” The girl mumbled.

“He could’ve killed you.” I hissed, causing the girl to frown.

Bellamy sighed, stepping forward. “Why aren’t you back at camp?”

“The guy who is dying,” Charlotte spoke, her eyes fixed on the ground. “I just couldn’t listen to it anymore.”

I couldn’t help but let out a sigh. “You and me both,”

“There are grounders out here,” Atom spoke. “It’s not safe for a little girl.”

“I’m not little.”

Bellamy and I exchanged glances. “Well then,” Bellamy said, pulling a knife out of his pocket. “You can’t hunt without a weapon.” He handed Charlotte the knife. “Ever kill anything before?”

Charlotte shook her head.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll be good at it.” Bellamy smiled before turning around and heading off to find the others.

I smiled at her as well. “Come on,”

Charlotte and I followed Bellamy and Atom through the forest. We had yet to find the others when suddenly, a swarm of bugs flew past us.

“What the hell?” Atom asked.

Rats, which I had yet to see on the ground, began scurrying in the same direction the bugs had flown. I watched as a cloud of yellow began forming in front of us, a horn sounding in the air.

“That can’t be good.” I mumbled.

“Come on! There are caves this way.” Bellamy spoke, running off.

The three of us followed Bellamy, myself being sure to keep Charlotte within my reach. I watched as Atom tripped, though I didn’t stop. I just kept running until I too fell. 

My head connected with a rock, causing me to scream out in pain.

This is it. This is how I die.

Just as I accepted my fate, a pair of strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me from the ground. “Charlotte, keep going!” It was Bellamy.

I tried my best to run, though Bellamy pulled me most of the way. Finally, we reached the cave and Bellamy let go of me, closing the entrance with a larger rock. I slid down the wall of the cave, pressing my hand to the back of my head.

“Are you okay?” Charlotte asked.

I nodded, removing my hand and examining the blood on it. “Yeah, I’ll be alright.”

“What happened to Atom?” Bellamy asked.

I looked away, unable to explain how I left him behind.

Bellamy sighed. “We should be safe here for the night.”

“Should be?” Charlotte asked.

“Will be,” I spoke up. “We will be safe here.”

Charlotte frowned, and I knew she believed that as much as I did.

...

We had been stuck in the cave for a while, Charlotte having fallen asleep. Bellamy inspected the wound on my head, touching it lightly. I let out a yelp, swatting his hand away.

He moved back. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I spoke, my voice shaking. “Is it bad?”

“It looks like the bleeding has stopped at least. No sleeping for you though.”

I sighed. “Not like I’ve done much sleeping down here anyways.”

We were both silent for a few moments before finally, Bellamy cleared his throat. “Do you think everyone back at camp is okay?”

“I’m sure they are,” I said. “They probably all hid inside the dropship.”

“Safer there than here, I guess.”

“I was sure the fog would’ve slipped through a crack of this cave.” I looked over at Charlotte. “Poor kid probably didn’t expect to almost die twice today. She’s lucky your aim sucks.”

Bellamy chuckled. “It wasn’t bad considering I wasn’t looking in that direction.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that.” I smiled, before the thought of Atom filled my mind. “I left him behind…”

“What?”

“Atom,” I said. “I saw him fall. I could’ve stopped and helped him up, but I didn’t.”

Bellamy shook his head. “You were afraid.”

“And you weren’t?” I asked, tears welling in my eyes. “You ran back to save me. You shouldn’t have. You should’ve kept going.”

“What’s done is done, Athena. You can’t change it now, so learn from it, do better next time.” 

I nodded, my eyes beginning to flutter shut as a wave of exhaustion washed over me. “You almost sound like my father.”

Bellamy ignored my remark. “Hey, no sleeping, alright?”

“I’m tired.”

“Too bad,” Bellamy frowned. “Why did you get locked up?”

“What?”

“If you keep talking, you’ll stay awake. Tell me why you got locked up.”

I shook my head. “It was stupid.”

“How stupid?”

“Bellamy-”

“Athena.” His voice was stern.

I took a deep breath. “Someone I cared about, their father was sick. The Ark wouldn’t give him the medication he needed, so I stole it.” Bellamy’s eyes grew slightly wider. “I stole my mother’s keycard to get into the medicine cabinet and of course, they figured out it was me and thus I was arrested.”

“You must’ve really cared about that person,” Bellamy mumbled.

“He was like my second father,” I admitted. “I mean, you know how my dad is. When I started dating my boyfriend, his father was always nice to me. Always making sure I was okay, something my dad never really bothered to do.” I paused for a second, wiping my eyes. “I couldn’t just sit back and watch him die. Not after everything he’s done for me.”

Bellamy was silent for a moment. “Did he make it?”

“Yeah, he did.” I smiled. “Knowing that makes all of this worth it, as much as I wish I wasn’t down here right now. I would give anything to be able to see my mom again, hug her, tell her I love her.” I watched as Bellamy’s face fell. “Bellamy, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay.” He said, mustering up a small smile.

I shook my head. “No, It’s not. Nothing about what they do up there is okay.”

Just as Bellamy went to speak, Charlotte began tossing, letting out a small scream.

“Charlotte,” Bellamy spoke, rushing to her side. “Wake up.”

Charlotte shot up, panting. “I’m sorry.”

Bellamy frowned. “Does that happen often?”

Charlotte nodded.

“What are you scared of?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Bellamy said. “The only thing that matters is what you do about it.”

I almost felt like he was talking to me as well.

“But, I’m asleep,” Charlotte mumbled.

“Fears are fears. Slay your demons while you’re awake, they won’t be able to get you while you sleep.”

“How?”

Bellamy looked over at me for a moment, before looking back to Charlotte. “You can’t afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death. Let me see that knife I gave you.” Charlotte nodded, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the knife. She handed it over to Bellamy, who squeezed the handle in his hand. “Now, when you feel afraid, you hold this knife tight and say ‘screw you, I’m not afraid’.”

He handed the knife back to Charlotte, who held onto the knife as tight as she could with both hands. “S-screw you, I’m not afraid.”

“Louder.”

Charlotte looked to me, and I nodded. “Screw you. I’m not afraid.”

Bellamy smiled, patting her on the shoulder. “Slay your demons kid, then you’ll be able to sleep.”

Charlotte nodded with a small smile. Still holding the knife in her hands, she rolled back over and fell back asleep. Bellamy made his way back over to me, sitting down with his back against the cave wall.

“I think I’m starting to see where Octavia gets it from,”

…

The following morning, Bellamy pushed the rock covering the cave opening out of the way. He stepped outside, looking around.

“It’s all clear,” He said before stepping out further. “Is anyone out here? Jones?”

“We’re here!” Jones called out.

I stood from my spot, my legs shaking under me. “It’s okay, Charlotte. We can head back to camp now.”

Charlotte nodded, standing up and following me out of the cave.

“Where’d you guys go?” Bellamy asked Jones.

“We made it to a cave down there,” Jones pointed to the West.

I stepped forward. “Did you guys see Atom?”

Jones shook his head, causing me to frown.

“We’ll find him,” Bellamy assured me. “Let’s head back to camp.”

…

Most of the walk back to camp was quiet, aside from the occasional call-out for Atom. We had yet to find him, a fact that was slowly driving me insane. I could feel my fingernails piercing the palm of my hands hidden under my jacket, surly drawing blood.

A hand landed on my shoulder, causing me to jump slightly.

“Sorry,” Bellamy said, looking me over. “You’ve been quiet, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

Last night had shown a different side of Bellamy I had never expected to see. I had half expected him to switch back to his douchebag persona the second we left that cave. Instead, here he was, asking if I was alright.

My cheeks began to heat up, causing me to focus on the ground underneath my feet. “I’ll feel a lot better once we find Atom.”

Bellamy nodded.

The rest of the group had fallen behind us, though Charlotte was so far ahead of us I could barely make out her silhouette through the trees. No matter how many times I had called out for her, she just kept going.

Charlotte finally disappeared from my sight and just a few moments later, her frightened screams rang out through the forest. Without hesitating, Bellamy and I sprung into action, running in her direction.

Before long we found her, standing over a body.

Atom.

“Oh my god,”

Bellamy moved closer, kneeling down and looking Atom over. He was covered in bloody boils and blisters, his skin looking as if it had been slowly burned away. His eyes were glossy, his pupils small. 

I placed my hand on Charlotte’s shoulder before making my way over to the two. Atom was shaking, stuttering incoherently. Finally, he was able to get out a few broken words: kill me, please.

Bellamy stood up, taking a few steps back as the rest of the group joined us. Stepping forward, Charlotte pulled out the knife Bellamy had given her earlier. She handed it to Bellamy and whispered, “Done be afraid.” 

Taking a deep breath, Bellamy cleared his throat. “All of you head back to camp. Charlotte, you too.”

The group dispersed, including Charlotte, though she was more reluctant to leave than rest had been. Bellamy eyed me, still standing just a few meters away.

“Bellamy, I can’t-”

“I know,” He spoke, nodding.

Bellamy knelt back down, holding the knife in his hand. I sat across from him on the other side of Atom, watching as Bellamy’s eyes shifted around. 

Atom spoke again through broken words, begging Bellamy to do it. I watched as Bellamy sat there, unable to move. Finally, I reached over, taking the hand he was holding the knife with in mine.

Bellamy looked up at me and for a second I could see tears welling in his blue eyes. I slowly slipped the knife out of his hand and into my own, pulling my hand away and placing it at my side.

“Athena-”

“I can do this,” Taking a deep breath, I looked down at Atom. “Okay, I’m going to help you. Just breathe, alright?”

I placed my free hand on Atom’s cheek, lightly brushing it with my thumb as I moved the knife towards the side of his neck. I slowly slid the blade into his skin, pulling it out just the same.

As Atom slowly bled out, I continued to comfort him as best as I could at that moment. Finally, Atom stopped moving and I knew he was gone. 

Looking up, I was met with Bellamy’s sorrowful eyes. It was at that moment that I realized I had been crying, a droplet of salt falling into my mouth. 

I quickly wiped my eyes with my free hand before wiping the bloody knife on the ground and handing it back to Bellamy. “We should get him back to camp, bury him with the others.”

…

Finn, Wells and Clarke had soon found us and helped us get Atom’s body back to camp. I hadn’t spoken the rest of the way back, knowing if I opened my mouth I would only start to cry again.

The camp gate was quickly opened upon our arrival, Clarke rushing ahead of us and demanding quick action in making Jasper’s medicine. Bellamy ordered a few of the delinquents to get Clarke anything she needed, while Wells headed off to dig a grave for Atom.

Across the camp, I watched as Octavia exited the dropship. She chatted with Clarke for a moment before her face sunk and she yanked herself away, rushing over to myself and Bellamy.

“Octavia, just stay back, please,” Bellamy commanded.

“Why?”

Octavia attempted to push past Bellamy, only to fail. Upon her second attempt, she managed to get past him, her eyes quickly falling on the body whose face was covered by a jacket. She got on her knees and looked at her brother before looking back to the jacket, slowly lifting it.

Octavia let out a small gasp, tears swelling in her eyes. “Atom.”

Bellamy frowned, reaching over to touch her. “There was nothing I could do.”

“Don’t!” Octavia hissed, shoving his hand away before standing up.

“O, please let me explain-”

“I said don’t.”

With that, Octavia ran off towards the dropship.

Soon Murphy approached, earning a sigh from Bellamy. “Did you lose anyone here today?” He asked.

“No.”

“Jasper?” I asked.

Murphy glared at me. “Still breathing, barely.” He turned his attention back to Bellamy. “I tried to take him out but your psycho little sister-”

Bellamy quickly shoved Murphy before grabbing the collar of his shirt.

“Bellamy-”

“My what?” Bellamy asked before raising his voice even more. “My what?”

“Your little sister,” Murphy mumbled, shoving Bellamy off of him.

Bellamy nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. My little sister. Got anything else you want to say about her?”

Murphy stared at Bellamy for a moment before shaking his head. “Nothing, sorry.”

I watched as Bellamy looked Murphy up and down. Finally, he nodded his head towards Atom’s body. “Somebody get him out of here.”

With that, Bellamy stormed off towards his tent.

…

Later that evening I sat on the top level of the dropship where Jasper was resting. Finn took a swig of an old bottle of alcohol he had found before offering it to Monty. Monty refused, passing it to Octavia instead.

“Smooth.” He coughed.

Octavia took a sip, her face instantly crinkling. “Disgusting. I love it.”

She offered the bottle to me and I shook my head. “I’ve got guard duty later.”

“Can I, uh, get a hit of that?” A small voice spoke up.

We all looked over, Jasper’s head poking up slightly from the make-shift bed. He was smiling slightly, his eyes fixated on the bottle.

“Jasper!” Octavia cheered, rushing to his bedside.

Monty smiled, also rushing over. “Let’s start with the soft stuff.”

Finn and I joined the group. “Welcome back, buddy.”

“Was that a dream or did I get speared?”

“You’ll have a very impressive scar to prove it.” I turned my head, noticing Clarke had joined up. She was smiling, though I could tell she had been crying.

“My saviour.” Jasper smiled.

Clarke chuckled slightly. “Thank you for not dying. I don’t think I could’ve taken that today.”

“I’ll try not to die tomorrow too, if that’s cool.”

Clarke smiled, a newfound gleam in her eyes. “Sounds like a plan.”

~

next chapter

[wonderful-writer]

04 - Murderer In Camp

Summary: A week has passed since Wells’ death, and the camp has been taking protective measures to prevent what they thought the cause of his death was. When the truth comes to light, the camp suffers more loss at anger’s hand.

Word Count: 3.37k

Based Off: 01x04 “Murphy’s Law”

You hadn’t known what was coming to you the next morning; no one did. The news of Wells’ death spread around the camp quickly when one of the 100 went to relieve him of his watch shift. It affected you deeply. You hadn’t known Wells too well, but he was a great guy and you wanted to know him better.

Clarke took the news harder than anyone else, which was understandable. He was her best friend since they were young.

You spent all of the following week working hard on chopping down wood to help build the wall to protect against another grounder attack, which is what everyone assumed had killed Wells. Bellamy originally put you on framework duty to help stabilize the wall, but you insisted that you could cut down trees instead. He decided that you would shave the branches off of the trunks instead, to save them as firewood.

That’s what you were doing since sunrise until one of the 100 fell while carrying one of the logs you had just shaved down. You stepped in to help him up and finish the job, but Murphy, ever the asshole, beat you to it. 

“Hey! You think the grounders are gonna sit around and wait for us to finish the wall?” He yelled.

“Maybe we should let the little girl do the lifting for you, huh?” He suggested, and you looked over to Charlotte, who was doing the framework like you were supposed to.

“I just need some water, okay? Then I’ll be fine.” He told him. You went over to the basin and scooped up a cup for him as Bellamy told Murphy to get him some. Murphy sneered at you but stayed close as you knelt down to hand the cup to him.

“Sorry Murphy’s an asshole,” You smiled apologetically. He smiled back and chugged the water.

“Hey, you got this?” Bellamy asked Charlotte, who quickly stopped her work to pick up the log. Bellamy, however, stopped her and told her it was just a joke, picking up the log and carrying it away. Once you made sure the guy was okay, you went over to Charlotte.

“Have you had any nightmares lately?” You asked, helping her with her work.

A look of guilt flashed in her eyes before it disappeared and she smiled. “No, I haven’t.” She said proudly. You pat her shoulder and congratulated her.

“Bellamy’s advice worked, did it?” She nodded, and you went back to helping her until a commotion arose. You turned in your spot to see Murphy taking a leak on the boy's jacket, as he was still on the ground. Others held him back while Murphy yelled at everyone to get back to work.

You went back to your station as you saw Octavia leading Jasper out of camp, helping him get used to being outside again, and smiled. You knew he was paranoid about being attacked again, and you understood it. One bad experience usually ruins things for people, you would know.

You stood around a table with Bellamy, Clarke, Jasper, and Octavia as they brought forward a knife and two of Wells's fingers, which were cut off in the attack. The sight of them had chilled you to the bone, and Clarke noted that the knife was made of metal from the Dropship. You looked up from the severed fingers at her observation.

“What do you mean?” Jasper asked worriedly.

“Who else knows about this?” Bellamy asked his sister.

“No one. We brought it to Y/n who brought it straight here.” Octavia replied.

“Clarke?” Jasper asked.

“It means the grounders didn’t kill Wells…” She started.

“Someone in camp did.” You finished, looking worriedly around the table.

“So there's a murderer in the camp?” Jasper’s voice quivered before Bellamy admitted that there was more than just one murderer in the camp. You were shocked, but ultimately not too surprised.

“We need to keep it quiet,” Bellamy affirmed. You nodded along with Octavia and Jasper, But Clarke instead began to make her way to the entrance of the tent. You, being the closest, stopped her.

“Get out of my way, Y/n.” She snarled.

“I get it, Wells was your best friend, but Bellamy’s right. We have to be smart about this. Look at all that we’ve done. The wall, the patrols.” You motioned your head to the outside where the 100 were working hard to keep everyone safe.

“Whether you like it or not, thinking the grounders killed Wells is good for us.” You noted.

“Oh, good for you and Bellamy, you mean.” She scoffed. “What, keep people afraid and they’ll work for you? Is that it?” She asked.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Bellamy interjected, coming to stand beside you. “But it’s good for all of us. Fear of the grounders is what’s building that wall.”

“Besides, you can’t just announce that Wells was murdered; we don’t even know who did it.” You stepped in.

“I do.” She tipped the knife forward to show the initials carved into the curve of the knife. “J.M. John Murphy. The people have a right to know.” She slipped in between the two of you and out of the tent, before you and the rest followed in an attempt to either stop her or see where this was going to go. You were still deciding which side you were on.

You watched Clarke push her way through the people around her before shoving Murphy.

“Woah, what’s your problem?” He asked cockily.

“Recognize this?” She held up his knife, watching his eyes widen, reaching for the knife.

“That’s my knife, where’d you find it?” He grabbed for it but she pulled it away.

“Where you dropped it after you killed Wells.” Her face pulled into an angry frown. You stood and watched as Murphy defended himself, and he looked honest about it. But knowing how he is, you still couldn’t fully believe him.

“Bellamy, you really believe this crap?” He asked, but Bellamy didn’t reply.

“You threatened to kill him. We all heard you.” Clarke defended. “You hated Wells.”

“Plenty of people hated Wells.” He told her, and you bit back a scoff. “His father was the chancellor that locked us up.”

“You’re the only one that got into a fight with him!” She yelled.

“Yeah, and I didn’t kill him then, either.” He replied.

“He tried to kill Jasper, too.” Octavia’s comment confused jasper but enraged you. Jasper, however, put a hand on your shoulder and shook his head when you looked back at him.

“This is ridiculous. I don’t have to answer to you. I don’t have to answer to anyone.” Murphy grew angry at the accusations.

“Come again?” Bellamy asked. Murphy stopped walking for a second before going up to him.

“Bellamy, look, I’m telling you, man. I didn’t do this.” He confessed, but Bellamy didn’t believe him.

“They found his fingers on the ground with your knife.” He answered.

“Is this the kind of society you want?” You stepped up, bringing up the argument you’d had since day one. “You say there should be no rules. Does that mean we can kill each other without- without punishment?”

“I already told you, I didn’t kill anyone.” Murphy raised his voice.

“I say we float him.” Someone suggested, getting a few murmurs of encouragement from the crowd.

“That’s not what she’s saying,” Clarke responded. You then noticed it was the guy you had helped earlier in the day. You understood why he was angry, but killing Murphy was going too far. Then it would be just like the Ark.

“Why not? He deserves it.” The boy countered. “It’s justice.”

“Revenge isn’t justice!” Clarke exclaimed.

“It’s justice. Float him! Float him!” He chanted, getting the others to cheer along with him. Murphy attempted to make a run for it but someone tripped him up, causing the others to start beating him to death. Clarke shoved people out of the way and shouted for them to stop, but she was drowned out in the chants and yells of the delinquents.

Both you and Octavia tried to help but Bellamy pulled you both back, watching as they tied him up with seatbelts from the Dropship. The crowd took him away and shoved him down a hill before dragging him to a tree where they hung a rope. You joined Clarke in trying to stop them, but not entirely as active as she was when you remembered what he had been doing to you since you landed on Earth.

They strung him up by the neck and put a crate under his feet as Clarke yelled at Bellamy to stop it. The others cheered for Bellamy to kick the crate out from under Murphy’s feet, and you shook your head, hugging Octavia close. 

“Bellamy, don’t!” You called over the chanting. He looked back at you and softened before kicking the crate down.

You watched, horrified as Murphy’s body dangled from the tree by his neck. He struggled to get free but was unsuccessful due to his bound hands. You turned away and hid into Octavia’s shoulder, sickened at the scene before you. You looked up again, however, when Charlotte spoke up.

“Stop, okay?! Murphy didn’t kill Wells! I did!” You gasped at the words that left Charlotte’s mouth. You never thought she could kill anyone. Clarke scrambled to cut Murphy down as your eyes wandered over to Bellamy, seeing that he was just as shocked as the rest of you. You grabbed Charlotte’s arms and took her to the tent with Bellamy to protect her and figure out what to do.

Finn and Clarke soon joined you, accompanied by an enraged Murphy and an alarmed crowd of people. “Why, Charlotte?” You asked her.

“I was just trying to slay my demons like Bellamy told me.” She defended and Bellamy shook his head.

“What the hell is she talking about?” Clarke demanded.

“She misunderstood me.” He turned to the girl. “Charlotte, that is not what I meant.”

The enraged shouts from Murphy caught your attention again as you started to figure out what to do. “Please don’t let them hurt me!” She begged you.

“We won’t, Charlotte. Don't worry.” You promised her, hoping you could keep it.

“If you guys have any bright ideas, speak up,” Bellamy suggested. When they didn’t say anything, he scoffed. “Now you stay quiet.”

“Those are your boys out there.” Finn quipped.

“This is not my fault.” He defended. “If she had listened to me, those idiots would still be building the wall.” He pointed to a stressed Clarke.

“You wanna build a society, Queenie? Let’s build a society. Bring her out!” Murphy shouted. You sighed heavily as Charlotte begged you and Bellamy to keep her safe.

“Charlotte, hey,” Bellamy bent down and put his hands on her upper arms as comfort. “It’s gonna be okay. Just stay with them.” He looked to Finn and Clarke before standing up straight again and exiting the tent with you.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to join us.” Murphy strutted up to you, beat up and dirty. “The King and his precious Queen.” He looked between the both of you.

“Dial it down and back off.” Bellamy asserted.

“Or what? What are you gonna do? Hang me?” He asked mockingly.

“I was just giving the people what they wanted.” Bellamy defended. Murphy smirked at his words.

“That’s a good idea. Why don’t we do that right now.” He turned to the crowd and shouted, “So who here wants to see the real murderer hung up? All in favour?”

He raised his hand, and his little minions raised theirs as well, while everyone else murmured quietly.

This, however, angered Murphy even more. “I see. So it’s okay to string me up for nothing; but when this little bitch confesses, you all let her walk?!” He yelled, pointing to the tent where Charlotte was.

“Cowards! All of you are cowards!” He yelled again before Bellamy interjected.

“Murphy! Murphy!” His gruff voice shouted, getting up in Murphy’s face. “It’s over.”

Murphy shrugged and you sighed heavily, looking over at Bellamy with tired eyes as he turned around. Murphy quickly grabbed a log as Bellamy started walking up to you and hit Bellamy with it, causing him to pass out. Octavia screamed and attempted to attack Murphy, as did you, but was stopped by some of his followers. It was when he punched Jasper did you snap. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Murphy!” You ran to him, ready to fight, but he smashed the log that was still in his hands over your head, knocking you unconscious as you fell next to Bellamy.

As you woke up, you noticed Bellamy off to the side, talking with his sister. 

“Where’s Charlotte?” You asked them, groggily pushing yourself onto your feet. Jasper kept his hands out to catch you if he needed to.

“She ran with Clarke and Finn. Murphy went out with a search party to find and kill her.” Octavia informed you. You looked at Bellamy and went off into the woods, leaving Jasper and Octavia behind.

The search was silent and tense as you hoped to reach Charlotte before Murphy had. It was already nearing darkness and you didn’t have a torch or a weapon with you, but Bellamy showed you that he had his gun when he noticed your worried stance.

You found her not long after, gripping her wrist and aimlessly pulling her into the woods and away from Murphy’s search party.

“Let me go!” She screamed.

“We’re trying to help you!” Bellamy argued, but she still fought against your pull.

“I’m not your sister! Just stop helping me!” You saw Bellamy freeze at her words, his own grip loosening on her. She ran from him and yelled out to the group, but he caught up and wrapped his arms around her to keep her in place.

“Are you trying to get us all killed?” You asked her.

“Just go, okay? I’m the one they want.” She told you both. You bent down and matched Bellamy’s stance.

“Charlotte, listen to me.” He gripped the front of her jacket lightly. “I won’t leave you. We won’t leave you.” She looked in your direction and you nodded at her with a smile.

“Please, Y/n.” She begged, pushing Bellamy’s hands off her jacket and running again. Bellamy scooped her up and slung her over his shoulder, walking away with you as she called out to Murphy. You heard his yell and briefly saw the light of his torches as you broke into a run, Bellamy following suit.

You broke through the treeline and Bellamy put Charlotte back on the ground while Murphy pursued you. You noticed then, that you were at a cliff, and cursed silently to yourself.

“You can’t fight all of us, but you can give her up.” Murphy offered.

“Maybe not, but I can guarantee I’ll take a few of you with me.” He threatened.

Clarke and Finn came through the treeline too, Clarke asking Bellamy to stop once more. She moved towards you and you stepped up to Murphy, desperate to end whatever was going on.

“This has gone too far, Murphy.” You pleaded. “Just calm down, and we can talk about this.” You saw Murphy consider your offer before grabbing your arm and pulling you against him, placing his knife hard against your throat.

“I am sick of listening to you talk.” He spat in your ear.

“Let her go.” Bellamy stepped forward but Murphy pressed the knife harder into your skin.

“I will slit her throat.” He threatened.

“Please. Please don’t hurt her.” Charlotte begged, and your fearful eyes met her sad ones. You nodded as your way of telling her you were going to be okay, even if you didn’t know for sure. She stepped forward but Bellamy put an arm out defensively to stop her.

“Don’t want me to hurt her?” He asked. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. You come with me right now, I will let her go.” He offered, and you shook your head.

“Don’t do it, Charlotte!” You pleaded. “I’ll be okay, just don’t do it.”

She moved against Bellamy’s arm but he pushed her back, wrapping his long arms around her body once she started fighting him. He managed to get her calm and faced Murphy again.

“Murphy, this is not happening.” He demanded.

“I can’t let any of you get hurt anymore,” Charlotte spoke. “Not because of me. Not after what I did.”

You called after Charlotte and Murphy let you go, just in time to watch Charlotte jump off of the cliff, straight to her death. “NO! Charlotte, no!” You cried along with Bellamy and Clarke, who stood next to Finn now. You gasped and clutched the moss underneath your fingers, trying to hold onto reality.

What weighed you down, however, was not the moss in your hands. It was Bellamy’s hand on your back, pulling you wordlessly into his body to comfort you. He then let go and got up to take a running start at Murphy. He landed punch after punch to Murphy’s face as you and Clarke yelled for him to stop.

Finn pulled Bellamy away from Murphy as he struggled and yelled to get away and continue to attack Murphy, but Finn didn’t let up. You went up to Bellamy and stood in front of him, putting your hands on his cheeks.

“We don’t decide who lives and who dies!” You yelled as Bellamy started to calm down. You let go of his face and took a deep breath with him to calm yourself.

“So help me God, if you say the people have a right to decide-” You cut him off.

“No, Clarke was wrong before, okay? You were right. Sometimes it’s dangerous to tell people the truth. But if we want to survive down here we can’t just live by whatever the hell we want.” You told him. “We need rules.”

“And who makes the rules, huh? You?” He asked angrily.

“No.” You looked over to Clarke, who came to stand by your side. “For now, we do. Me, you and Clarke. We make the rules.”

“So what? We just take him back and pretend like it never happened?” He suggested angrily.

“No!” Clarke spoke up. She looked back at the panting and bloody Murphy who lay on the ground. “We banish him.” She looked at you and you nodded, satisfied with the idea. 

Bellamy looked around to you, then Finn, and finally back to Murphy before roughly grabbing him by his jacket and dragging him to the edge of the cliff.

You and Clarke yelled for Bellamy to stop what he was doing, but he kept Murphy at the edge before threatening him. “If I ever catch you near camp, we’ll be back here. Understand?”

Murphy nodded at Bellamy’s words before Bellamy had thrown him to the ground. “As for the four of you,” He addressed the search party Murphy gathered.

 “You can come back and follow me, or go off with him to die. Your choice.”

Bellamy left and you followed, feeling as empty as you were when you were in Shumway’s care. The rest trailed behind you, Murphy’s search party opting to go back to camp instead of following him into the woods.

Upon reaching camp, you gathered everyone and explained what happened and the new rules that were being put into place. After dispersing for the night, you stayed to sit near the fire as Monty worked on using the wristbands to communicate with the Ark; and you were terrified when they would.

Facing your father was the last thing you’d ever wanted to do, especially in person. He hadn’t been man enough to take care of you, to visit you in solitary, and you hated him for it the only good thing he’d done was when you got onto the dropship. A shock on your right wrist pulled you out of your thoughts, realizing as you felt the metal fall from your wrist that you and everyone who hadn’t taken off their wristband was now free.

And you felt like you could finally breathe.

Taglist: @soullessbabee | @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis | @dummythiccwitch | @sireddobrev | @gxvrielle

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S1 E12

quarantine diaries: may 26 2020

season 1 episode 12: “We Are Grounders: Part I”

🎶“we are [grounders] bum ba dum bum bum bum bum”🎶...i cant be the only one. don’t lie to me like that. you thought it too huh?

“look inside. find your peace” - jaha (1:45) spittin some uncle iroh wise talk here. while also being like YOLO. live it up bitches cuz we all gone die. 

wait did he say commander. so anya isn’t top dog. please tell me my killmonger theory is right. cuz if so this will officially become the best show ever!

haha they really expect me to believe that they killed finn off screen. bitch i think not

what is this star wars? with this chain? clarke is no princess leia.

murphy. big yikes. he’s killing more of the 100 than the grounders. and jasper is just like cool. cool. cool. cool. trying to pretend that he didn’t just see murphy straight up murder that guy

there is no way that these smucks are going to win against the grounders. with this internal conflict. i think not.

this really just turned into a hostage situation. how would have thought. not me. this show constantly just throws in these random situations and i love it. but murphys character just keeps getting worse the more i watch. murphy just stop. just fucking stop it.

waht the hell is that hose clarke is riding. it kinda looks like a thestral to me just minus the wings

plot armor is strong with finn. but i shouldnt be surprised considering that its apparently going to be a wild ride with finns character development

licoln!!! how do these grounders still trust lincoln? also i wish we saw from licolns POV trying to save finn cuz that had to have been epic. did he really all do this for octavia tho? man is whipped for octavia. but is she worth it tho. what does she bring to the table? ***yeah yeah yeah i know that he doing because “what his people are doing to there people is wrong” or whatever but really tho we know this is all for octavia’s pussy.

a mine or is this the cave to two lovers. because i really here for it.

wow is there a slight hint of a romance between abby and jackson. ok cougar. if anyone is questioning me on they’re little heart to heart scene starts on 14:40 and by the end of if jackson is really up in abby’s personal space. plus they might as well because yolo

jasper is not worth trading in prettyboy bellamy.  

“you people are so soft”- lincoln (20:50) and i agree these spacers are gonna get absolutely destroyed by the grounders. like they can’t even keep the peace within their own people. fucking murphy.

honestly bellamy has a lot of faith in raven and jasper to save him during this hostage situation. i could never. 

without bellamy or clakre. the 100 are dead cuz they really didn’t give any characteristics to any of the the other kids in the 100

“we can make bomb.” jasper has its priorities straight. nooo save bellamy first then we can talk bombs.

aaw murphy just wants empathy. **gag** murphy is emo boi went wrong

that cute little family video with clark and wells. giving jaha nostalgia and ideas of how to save his people. but imagine if these to be in modern times. ppl would really be rewatching old vines and tiktoks

headcanon for murphy: murphy is definitely into BDSM. he is waaay too into hanging bellamy to convince me otherwise.

reapers?! bro y’all better get outta there. they look like straight up savages. yeah dont fuck with them

i dont know lincoln that well but this seem a little OOC for him. like really all this is for octavia??? she really that good in bed that youre willing to help her friends against these terrifying motherfucking savages and your girl isn’t even here to see this all happen. hmmmm.. also lets all remember the time that lincoln stabbed finn. now they’re best buds i guess. but at the same time clarke and finn are a little too okay with sending lincoln to his death 

mario cart with a dead but also alive body...this better be important and not just some random plot point that they just threw in here for the ‘wtf is happening’ asthestic but that is never explained

ooo kill’em finn. really resourceful with that rock. no gun. no problem. honestly tho. this show talks a lot about guns but then majority of the deaths we see are not gun related at all. im thinking rn and i cannot come with a single character that has died by a gun shot yet.....

bellamy nooo.. i know he as plot armor but i really don’t wanna see my boy be hanging like that

these guns running out of bullets is a big trope in the show. and im tried of it. 

“i swear to god, the more we learn about this place, the less we know”- clarke (33:57) gurl same. literally when i think i know where his show is going bam! explosion. bam! weird plot point. bam! you thought this character was dead.. sike bam! bam! bam!

finn said “i love you im in love with you.” (34:42) what a time to proclaim your love right after killing a reaper. also its been what less than a month? 90 day fiance who? big ed who? im sorry i keep linking finn with big ed but  the two really be sharing similar hair cuts

the hug between bellamy and jasper my heart. the bromance!! but lets go find monty please!! bring my boy home!!

i just love how during bellamy’s big speech finn was like im thirsty and just grabbed some water. (you don’t believe me do you. timestamp is 37:30. yep i got the receipts) but dude same. i truly wonder tho if that was written in the script of if finn’s actor just took creative freedom. maybe it was done to parallel the fact that finn is thirsty boi wanting raven and clarke at the same time.

reminder: stay hydrated. this is a psa to if you are reading this you are obligated to drink some water. **Cheers to our thirsty boi finn!!

Clarke really be here overriding bellamy’s little speech i love how she started on the high note pretending to agree with bellamy then was like actually tho i disagree. we need to go

these adults/parents are really as chaotic as their kids with this plan of using the ark. 

[girlobsessed21]

Is Bellarke misinterpreted or not?

I know this post is long overdue, so sorry for that. I’ve started writing for a publication and it takes a lot of my time. But as promised before, here’s a list of reasons suggesting Bellarke romance and why...

It follows the romantic arc of a lot of romance movies and series. I even created a thread on Twitter comparing some of their lines to the most romantic lines in movies yet the viewers seem to misinterpret. Well, I call bullshit, simply because it is. Now, I can’t give you false hope that they will be paired romantically but I will say this. If they’re not, the writers and producers are less than subpar in their depiction of a platonic couple. Aka they have no idea what they’re doing.

In a show that’s ultimately about survival, it’s difficult to incorporate romance without shifting the emphasis and genre but they seem to do it perfectly with Murphy and Emori, Kane and Abby, Gabriel and Josephine and even Lincoln and Octavia back in the day. What’s sobering about this, is that Bellarke’s scenes are written, filmed and produced more intense, overpowering and chemistry-induced than any of the above-mentioned couples.

This tells me they know exactly what they’re doing and where they’re going with it. Can it be fan service and bait? Sure. But that would make bad television, resulting in audiences looking back on The 100 with dread instead of excitedly recommending it to friends to binge. After Lexa’s death, a lot of fans left the show because of such a sudden horrific end to a fan favorite. I think they might be trying to avoid such a subduing concept again. 

Jason explained in his article that viewers slightly misinterpreted Bellamy’s arc and believe it or not, I somewhat agree with him. Bellamy had no other choice than to save all his people by using Josephine’s mind drive as a bargaining chip BUT of course he wanted to save Clarke too. She’s his person, he’d do anything for her. If he was given a choice between saving his people and Clarke, what would he have done? It just so happens that saving her, meant saving everyone.

From season one to six there are highly robust moments which suggest Bellamy and Clarke love each other a lot more than friends should. I’m not including season one scenes in this list because I don’t think they had quite crossed the verge of friendship there, although the “I need you, Bellamy” and “You look like you could use a drink” scenes were emotional and flirty, laying the premise for the most beautiful romance I’ve ever witnessed.

1. Love is weakness

Listen to the background music of that scene, the intensity and relief on their faces, yeah, that shit’s not platonic. If you wanted to show me they’re besties, they should’ve done a similar hug to Raven or Octavia’s.

When Clarke wakes up in Mount Weather, she asks about both Finn and Bellamy. And the same when she makes it to Camp Jaha. Once Bellamy returns, she runs and throws herself in his arms, which she hasn’t done with any other character except for Madi, her daughter. When Bellamy suggests he infiltrates Mount Weather, Clarke claims she can’t lose him too yet when Lexa tells her love is weakness, she agrees Bellamy should do it by saying she was being weak. Uhm, love is weakness.

2. We can’t lose Clarke

Bellamy crosses an entire grounder army by himself to go after Clarke. Then, limping on a stabbed leg, he’s still hellbent on saving her. All this while his girlfriend is back home, worrying about him. The desperation is in this scene is palpable, bringing us to the realization there’s nothing Bellamy wouldn’t do for Clarke because he clearly loves her.

3. You left me

Clarke refuses Bellamy’s offer to go home with him and stays behind in Polis with Lexa. Of course, he’s hurt and furious. When Clake tells him she needs him, he responds with, “You left me.” If you translate that, it would mean, you abandoned me when I needed you most, you chose Lexa over me and now you expect me to help you?

But apart from the dialogue, look at the way the scene is filmed, Bellamy’s in a proposal stance with soft affectionate hand-holding. The way they look at each other, hurt lingering in Bellamy’s eyes. Clarke crushed his heart and yet he still loves her. That scene tramples the edge of romanticism.

4. Start with Bellamy Blake

ALIE is an AI, more intelligent than any of our average human minds. She had the knowledge of all Clarke’s friends and family combined. When they had to choose someone to break Clarke’s steadfastness, ALIE suggested Bellamy. Granted, I doubt Clarke was in love with Bellamy at this point since she had just lost Lexa, and still, the AI concludes she cares about him more than anyone else.

All the same, a person can love two people at once. Clarke was willing to co-operate with Roan to save Bellamy’s life. The tears that fell while he yelled at her in Hakeldama, suggests she felt something. While their passionate hug and consoling conversation on the beach could be seen as friendly, they’re not that intimate with anyone else.

5. The list

This was probably one of The 100′s most romantic scenes, until 4x13 and 6x10. “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list.” is a simple way of telling someone you can’t live without them. If I live, you live too. I’m not doing this without you. I need you and ultimately, I love you enough to die with you if necessary.

It’s a sobering thought and I think Clarke may have realized the depth of Bellamy’s feelings for her at that moment.

6. If I don’t see you again

Boy, was this scene a bust. Ruined by Roan, who I’ve since dubbed Ruin Roan (I love the Azgeda king). Raise your hand if you know why he didn’t finish the sentence. Here’s a thought, it breeds mystery, but better yet we never got to hear him confess his feelings though we know he would’ve. Giving the writers a scapegoat.

Clarke probably wouldn’t have reciprocated, making the story awkward but Mr. Bellamy Blake was 100% going to tell Clarke Griffin he loved her. Otherwise, he would’ve continued. Now, does he still love her? Absolutely. When you lose someone you love, does your love for said person die with them? Not at all. You find ways to cope and move on but it lurks, showing up when you’re alone or reminded of them. I’m speaking from experience.

7. The oxymoron 

When you look at the cold sweat scene, any regular viewer might miss the intimacy but the soft subtle touches do somehow exceed the boundaries of friendship. Bellamy’s face though when he realizes Clarke might be right, he might lose her, shows a lot of fear. Most importantly, this is the first time we’re introduced to the head and heart concept, showcasing their soulmate dynamic. The metaphor compares them to the two lead features of the human body, neither of which can survive without the other.

But, that’s nothing compared to Bellamy’s devastation when he realizes he left the woman he loves behind to die. That hurt in his eyes and voice was heartbreaking.

8. The radio calls

In essence, there’s nothing wrong with calling your best friend every day for six years but when you use him as a way to keep you sane, you might wanna re-evaluate your relationship. Six people left for space, yet Clarke called Bellamy. This is also the first time we clearly see Clarke’s feelings for him. I’m sure they were there for a while, bubbling below the surface but with years of time and peace, one tends to come to terms with who you are.

And in 5x01, when Madi gushes over Octavia, Clarke longingly stares into space, hoping her heart will return. The pining is further emphasized by her expression when she sees Bellamy and Echo kissing. Yeah, camera work doesn’t lie, it was focused on her and Octavia’s faces for a reason.

Then, that hug in 5x03 was so profound, a hundred different emotions rolled into one. Clarke asks, “And now you’re home?” What is home, earth or herself?

9. Pleading for the life of a traitor who you love

There are two sides to this story. One, Octavia explicitly compared Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke to those of his girlfriend. That line was written into the script on purpose. If someone knows him, it’s his sister, she’s witnessed their entire relationship first hand and uses it to draw a reaction from him. Why? Because she knows he’s torn up about it.

Secondly, in 5x12, Lexa contrasts herself leaving Clarke outside Mount Weather to Clarke leaving Bellamy in Polis (and the gorge). She calls it her biggest regret and tells her former lover not to make the same mistake she did. 

Both times these characters feelings for each other were paralleled to their love for canonical partners. Coincidence? I highly doubt it. 

10. The head and the heart

The emotion in this scene, wow! Throughout season six there are subtle hints of Bellamy’s love for Clarke. He mourns her, Josephine says he cares more about Clarke than anyone else, he tells her the radio calls weren’t crazy but refusing to accept she’s dead and bringing her back to life in Fairytale fashion is nothing short of a beautiful romance.

If the writers had changed their minds about the status of Bellarke’s relationship somewhere along the line, this scene was completely uncalled for. Once again, all I see is I can’t let you go again, I refuse to live without you, I need you in my life because I love you. 

11. I tried to do better

Show this to anyone who doesn’t know the show and they’ll tell you this couple’s in love. Clarke goes to Bellamy, no-one else, for comfort when she’s falling apart. Although short, they share another one of their signature hugs where the passion and emotion are louder than nightclub music. With the rising sun as backdrop, this is as far from platonic as you can get. 

A few last things

The writers of this show aren’t stupid, they carefully build their plots around the foundation like using the neural mesh in ALIE’s chip to save Clarke. They know exactly what they’ve written, filmed and produced. Bellarke was always meant to end up romantically. Unfortunately, in a fast-paced show with one problem after the other, there’s almost no time to reflect.

If they wanted audiences to become invested in Bellamy and Echo’s relationship, they would’ve shown it to us. In 6x12 the cameras focus on Bellamy and Clarke’s faces when he reunites with his girlfriend. His whole arc (misinterpreted or not) revolved around her. That’s the message they convey and 90% of the audience cannot be wrong. When you watch reaction videos or podcasts, most of them agree.

And, they cautiously circumvent the word love in relation to Bellarke. Best friends love each other, Bellarke love each other. The question is in what capacity. My opinion is this, if I dated Bellamy, I certainly would have at least questioned his devotion to Clarke, yet Echo says nothing. Highly unrealistic.

Lastly, go and rewatch all of the above scenes without shipper goggles. Do you still see the depth and intimacy? I do. I specifically chose these because of the romanticism they entail. All the hugs are great, but best friends hug, these scenes have deeper meanings and though we could’ve misinterpreted Bellamy’s arc in season six, all of their scenes can’t lie. Not bringing them together canonically will do a great injustice to a magnificent show.

Yes, The 100 does not fall into the romance genre but the story revolves around Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia. For six season they’ve shown us how much the two leads love each other and failing to conclude that book is bad storytelling, to say the least. I believe it should at least be addressed if they decide not to trot down the romantic road.

Happy Hiatus everyone. I might post a few more things while we wait for season 7. I’ve written an article about the anomaly as well. But for now, I’ll focus more on other shows, I’m still writing fanfiction though. Let me know if there’s something specific you’d like me to write about or your opinion on the list.

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 6.13 The Blood of Sanctum

Okay, so the primes are the worst evil on this show.

When the primes come up to the ship and Indra and Niylah are shocked to see Clarke and Abby there, but Indra knows they’ve been wiped already. Madi is still possessed by Sheidheda and Clarke tells Gaia to save Madi and she’ll take care of the rest. Oh hey, I’m going to keep my eyes open for any hints that Sheidheda hijacked Russell like we suspect in that BTS with Russell I and Sheidheda in the meeting place. And Gaia gives Raven Becca’s book I think. It took so long. Plus, Jackson is there. I hadn’t realized they’d kidnapped the doctor, too. Doctor, Pilot, Commander. 

Simone comes up with the plan to mindwipe the sleeping army in cryo and one of the others goes, ‘we won’t even have to know them,’ as if it did bother them that they were raising these people for sheep. And how happy they are to know they can kill them and keep them preserved waiting until they need another body.

When they came up with that concept you could see Clarke planning how she was going to kill them all, and then Russell asked for Josephine’s feedback and she turns it on like a switch, “sure yeah, a little genocide, a long nap, let’s be explorers.” omg

And then in Sanctum, Bellamy is planning to just knock everyone out and tie them up, but they get gassed to sleep. So much gas on this show. And wake up on their knees with the crazies. I mean devotee. They kill Xavier’s sister, and make Miller drink the potion...that must be terrible for him, he’s only just shaken his crazy cult leader and now he’s getting brainwashed for another? Then Murphy and Emori come in before they make O drink.

Bellamy is devastated that they have been mindwiped, and then Emori plays a little trick and tips his chin towards Murphy so Murphy can wink and grin at him. It was really cute. They got our people out of there but left Lee Madjoub (?) but he survives til next season doesn’t he? 

Clarke staring at the sleeping army was hard. Like she was remembering when they put them all to sleep. She was responsible for them. Then Russell realizing that Jo was dead and it was Clarke. Good, you psychopathic bastard. And your evil scientist bitch wife, too. And Simone faked being Abby, too. How dare. Watching Clarke push her out the hatch with a hand on her head? Harsh, but deserved. That wasn’t Abby.

BUT Raven with Sheidheda. He added a kill switch for the whole flame. How did he know how to add a kill switch in the AI?? Indra said she met him when she was just a girl and he came through trikru. So like 40-50 years ago? And he made all the villagers kneel or he’d kill them. And then Gaia told Raven to kill the son of a bitch. SO many  sons of bitches. 

IDK Russell’s taken Madi before the download worked, so that’s not done yet. I do wonder what that deleted scene was about. I hope we find out.

Sheidheda is a psycho. Russell is a sociopath. Quite the team to get revenge on Clarke and get a kingdom, right?

Jordan is creepy, deep in the adjustment protocol. Every scene with Murphy right now is delightful. He’s so morally gray, selfish but with a noble base that keeps making him do things he doesn’t want to do. Plus he and Emori look FABULOUS. He should wear eyeliner all the time. 

I also really enjoyed where Bellamy and Octavia come back together. Why? Because she needs to save “these people.” Not her people. But she understands them, even in their cult, because if they admit to being wrong about their gods then their lives mean nothing.

Cognitive Dissonance. yes. We know how that works. 

Ok. Clarke knelt infront of Sheidheda, not the first commander she’s knelt for. But this time, she’s learned, and she knows how defeat him and bring her commadner (madi) back. WHY? Because Sheidheda calls her weak, like Lxa, because love makes them weak, but she’s just been saved by love when Bellamy called her back from certain death, so she puts the gun to her head and tells Madi to fight because she lost her mother and she can’t lose her. And of course she wins because love is not a weakness, it’s a strength.

BUT they now have to get Sheidheda out of her head because he’s trying to kill madi in her head. Out he comes, and Jackson has to take out the dead flame because Clarke is too shaky. Madi is no longer the heda. Now Clarke jumps up and hugs Raven, thanking her, and Raven says she’s sorry about Abby. My princess mechanic heart lives. 

But sheidheda has escaped into the ship. dun dun dunnnnn. 

Down to sanctum, and it’s fightin’ time. Murphy gets a chance to kick some ass in the tavern, while Bellamy, Echo, and Octavia kick MAJOR ass outside. 3 against 30, their chances were good. 

Especially nice was Octavia using her body to stop the human torch lady, which is a nice bracket to how Octavia was the crazy torch lady last season burning the farm. 

She takes off her jacket to put out her fire and Gabriel sees her anomaly tattoos. I admit I can see a possible canon ship developing between them. I kinda liked Gabriel and Diyoza, but I can see Gabriel and Octavia working too.

Okay so dawn comes right away. The psychosis fades away and people are piling up bodies. B and E are walking with Gabriel about to go to the anomaly stone when Clarke et al come back. “Don’t let this delay you” he says, while everyone is reuniting. B puts a hand on E’s back and says “right behind you” while his eyes are on Jordan who doesn’t look good. He blames the mess on Bellamy. He says “the truth according to who?” as if Bellamy is making up that the primes are lying. And that adjuster is standing there watching him, sinister like.

Then we see reunions with everyone. First is Clarke and Echo, comrades. Then Jackson and Miller, married. Then Raven Emori and Murphy (my head canon is that they were a trio at least sometimes on the ark.) Then Raven and Echo. The Bellamy and Clarke running to each other and it is TRULY a touching reunion. She’s begging him to tell her she did the right thing and it was worth it. She needs him to help her believe. And this is the opposite of outside of Camp Jaha at MW. He begged her to believe him that she was forgiven, but even he didn’t believe it. He held the guilt too. But this time she believes him, and his hug does offer the comfort it couldn’t offer before.

VERY emotional.

The final scene with them at the anomaly stone. He presses the red signs. a map. The last symbol is an octonian. Heavy math. Above his and my head. BUT he says, “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you share a name.” then there was a cut of Bellamy, confused, since, of course, HE NAMED HER. ( i think this is an easter egg. and i think that somehow, our heroes have something to do with its placement thousands of years ago. i don’t know how, but something.)

Then the anomaly spreads and takes over Gabriel’s hut. And Octavia starts to remember or know things. She says “she’s here” and then someone comes in. She thinks it’s Diyoza first but then realizes it’s Hope and is very happy. Hope hugs her and stabs her, saying she had to he has her mother, and it’s like the time that Clarke stabbed Finn. Same move. Then Octavia falls, Echo takes Hope and Bellamy takes O and she disappears. 

The anomaly recedes and Bellamy is left outside calling for Octavia. In the silence, I’m pretty sure I heard a man’s voice saying “...portal..”

That episode was pretty good, but leaves some things unfinished and more questions than answers. Where did Octavia go? What’s up with Hope? What is the Anomaly stone? What is the anomaly? A portal. What happened to Sheidheda? (Now is sheidheda in Russell?) What about that creepy adjuster? What about Ash, which hasn’t been addressed at all? What about b/e? What about Bellarke? How will sanctum deal now that their primes are gone? What about wonkru without a heda or a blodreina? The prisoners are still sleeping. 

[ramblesofadreamerofthestars]

I WANT TO SEE MY LITTLE BOY - The 100 7.05

He’s back bitches! The King Bellamy Blake has returned for two whole minutes this episode!

Spoilers for the above episode of the 100 and guess what bitches I’m finally doing this on my computer so no long ass post warning!

      The writers are sticking with their trend of giving me a character for like five minutes of screen time and making me fall in love with them huh! Amazing, sure hope nothing bad happens to Levitt because that would suck :)))). Seriously though he was so adorable, just binge watching the 100 (I’m so sorry sweetie) and falling in love with Octavia Blake and the rest of the disaster children and immediately switching sides love that for him. His little smile when he was using the skaikru words I love him, did y’all see that knee slide to get to Octavia? I want him in every episode from now on thanks, I’m sure they wouldn’t kill him for emotional damage to the audience :)))

     Ahhhh, I see, they gave Hope different haircuts to make the timeline easier to follow. Thank gods for the timeline stamps because we were jumping all over the place this episode. I thought there was going to be way more Sanctum storyline this episode and was pleasantly surprised by the balance because the anomaly storyline is just So Much Better. 

    I will say, I didn’t hate the Sanctum story this episode?? Like I didn’t enjoy it but Murphy and Emori are always a plus and Indra getting more screen time as well as being a driving force (maybe?) for the plot going forward is an Excellent decision, this bitch gets shit Done and you love to see it. The last scene had me wondering though, did he (Shaiheda) already take out the mind drive and hide it somewhere? Or do Something with it because it was a weird cut to not show the mind drive being taken out...Either way, JR Bourne really be out here doing the Most with this character huh like he really said what if I just went Off in absolutely every scene I’m in.

    That transition between Murphy getting doused in oil and his early cockroach days “I’ll survive” was So Good y’all, they knew exactly what they were doing with that. I love this stupid asshole so much, his growth? Unparalleled. His complete indifference to the faithful dying, very sexy of him despite the way everyone in the room looked at him. He’s seen the cult shit before, been there done that, and Uncle Murphy going Kill Bill Sirens when he saw the kid getting prepared to be sacrificed was incredible. Also, fuck the faithful for that?? What the actual fuck, first of all burning your people in a suicide protest is stupid but whatever that’s your issue. But children??? what the actual Fuck, I’m so sick of the faithful and Trey and everyone else fuck. Also, it took me a hot second to remember Daniel’s boyfriend whoops but ya, fuck the faithful and also??? They took over Delilah’s parents taverns and fuck them for that specifically that’s so rude

“That just tickles’ and “Had to find the right dress” “You did” who’s doing it like them, no one. They’re just such a delight to watch on screen.

       Poor Gabriel he’s really just like “Could you two not murder...for TWO MINUTES”. Hope makes sense, with her losing Dev because she hesitated to kil and her desire to find her mother and save her family. Also her line “It’s called love you son of a bitch” absolutely iconic, fuck whoever Anders is I’m so sick of all these cults trying to kill each other to become the supreme cult. Who Cares! Echo killing that man who had nothing to do with Bellamy dying and the...unstableness?? Of her expression? They have definitely made a choice with the path she’s going down which...I Guess. Sucks that after like eleven years of peace she is Still making the same choices she would have in the earlier seasons, but childhood conditioning is hard to overcome. I’ve seen people talk about her being Finn 2.0 and while I can see the similarities (the writers fucking love parallels in this show), I don’t think they’re going to have Bellamy kill her? It might be that she’s following the same downward spiral Finn did, but it wouldn’t add anything to Bellamy’s character like it did Clarke, and I think (hope) the writers have a different end in mind for Echo.

Speaking of Bardo, HOW FUCKING INTERESTING IS THAT PLANET WHAT THE FUCK! THE TECHNOLOGY IS FROM THE ORIGINAL INHABITANTS?? WHO ARE NOW CRYSTAL GIANTS FUCKING E X C U S E  M E?!?!? Shout out to Anders for that exposition but Why the Fuck are we even bothering with Sanctum when we could be exploring this planet are you fucking kidding me. What the fuck is M9 can we Please just get an episode of Bardo lore. Also, who the fuck do the new Bardoeans come from, because I think they would have had to have come from before the first apocalypse right? And why are they so fucking interested in Clarke, saying she’s the key. Like when is she not the key, but still, I have this horrible suspicion that because Every Godsdamn Thing In This Series Comes Back To The Fucking Flame, I bet you they want her because the last memory they got from Octavia, Clarke had the flame (I think?). Can you tell how sick I am of the fucking flame? 

And our king is back! They really gave us crumbs this episode, his immediate reaction to Clarke’s name, taking out four of the disciples by himself, I stan one man. Seriously, I have missed Bellamy so much these episodes (this is in no way a wahh why did Bob Morley have to leave blah blah blah, I just genuinely missed the character Bellamy Blake) and I am So Excited to finally get the gang all back together. No I don’t think for a second he’s dead lol, the anomaly was Right There and he’s not stupid. Whether he’s now on the ice planet (can you imagine if we got a Bellarke reunion next episode, I’d lose my mind) or he’s on that last planet with an active anomaly stone (likely, given how much the writers love to SEPARATE BELLAMY AND CLARKE), he’s alive and is doing whatever he can to get back to his family.

(Bob Morley said The Ring Stays On and I think that’s very valid of him)

 I do think that with all the anomaly stones and it having been like,,, 130 something years since they left, I think they’re going to turn the Earth stone back online, and the original delinquents who are left are going to come full circle and return to the place they claimed as home. 

I genuinely really enjoyed this episode, I think it was one of the best of the season so far. Next episode! We going on an Arctic Exploration featuring snow! caves! and cave spiders?? Exciting times all around and we return to our queen Clarke Griffin and her team of badasses. Also, maybe Gaia? And the identity of that man who was turning off the anomaly stone, please and thank you. Also, where the fuck is Madi? Who’s watching this kid ljdfsjfsl. Very excited to see what happens to them, less excited to see the cave spiders, but here we fucking Go!

[nomattertheoceans]

The 100?

Thank you Nonnie!!! :) 

Top 5 favourite characters:

Echo / Emori / Raven / Murphy / Octavia

Other characters you like:

A lot, actually! Off the top of my head, Lexa, Clarke (although not in the way most people like her, I enjoy her as an anti-hero lmao), Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, Lincoln, Indra!

Least favourite characters:

Aside from the obvious villains obviously, I’m gonna say Kane and Abby. I never really cared for their stories, I’ve hated Abby since season 1 and Kane since s5 there’s just something about them being absolutely awful leaders and blaming kids for their failures that I can’t get behind.

Otps:

Basically lmao.

No but seriously, I think their love story is just great on so many levels, they’re the only love story I really care about in the show.

Other couples I really like are: Bellamy and Echo, Octavia and Lincoln, Octavia and Niylah, Octavia and Diyoza, Murphy and Emori and Raven, Echo and Raven, Jasper and Maya, Monty and Harper

Notps:

..... Bellarke lmao.

I enjoy the dynamic between Bellamy and Clarke, but I never saw it as romantic, and that’s how I enjoyed it. I love their ennemies to reluctant allies dynamic, I love the fact that their relationship is dysfunctional I love the parallels between Clarke and Octavia. But I don’t enjoy it at all as a romantic dynamic.

Favourite friendships:

Monty and Jasper, Octavia and Jasper, Raven and Murphy

Favourite family:

This is almost only found family because this show has a ton of found family dnamics that I love!! The Blake siblings, Spacekru, Octavia Diyoza and Hope, Raven and Finn.

Favourite episodes:

Murphy’s Law, Blood Must have Blood part 1 and part 2, Thirteen, The Chosen, Pramfayia, Red Queen, The Garden

Favourite season/book/movie:

Season 2. It has my favorite version of Lexa, it has Bellamy and Echo meeting, it has the most interesting antagonists (in my opinion haha). Season 4 is a close second though!

Favourite quotes:

“You believe that to defeat an ennemy who will stop at nothing, you must stop at nothing. How is that any different than Blood must have Blood?” - Luna in s3, because I think this quote shows very well the central conflict of the show, one that was established by Finn in s1: We have to try not to repeat history, and yet everytime, they do repeat it. I disagree with Luna in that instance because the threat that was ALI wasn’t like any other, but I agree with her sentiment.

“In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels. Until our final journey to the Ground. May we meet again.” LISTEN. If there’s is one thing of the world building I absolutely adore, it’s the Traveler’s Blessing. It’s a beautiful prayer, and it gives me all the right emotions when I think about it. I was disappointed with what the show was making of it in seasons 2 and 3, with characters saying it all around, but then there are two instances that really get to me: Octavia and Bellamy saying it over the dead radio at the end of s4, and Monty / Bellamy and Clarke saying it at the end of season 5.

Best musical moment:

I loved the way the music carried the scene right after Lexa’s death, how it melts from Lexa’s death and Titus saying his ritual words, to Becca reaching earth, back to Lexa and the Flame coming out of her.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest:

Oh boy there are a LOT Off the top of my head: when Monty refuses to leave Jasper alone when he gives his blood to Maya, when Murphy says “Touch me again and I’ll end you... in a non-criminal way”, when Becho was confirmed in s5, When Clarke managed to align the satellite dish in Pramfyia, when Octavia confronted Skaikru in The Chosen,.... I can’t think of others right now but there are a lot lmao You can check out my favorite scenes series if you want, I’m working on it slowly!

When it really disappointed you:

A lot of times, honestly... I’m gonna say, all of season 6. I hated it. It had so much potential, with characters having to deal with the aftermath of season 5, Monty and Harper dying, Jordan existing, Wonkru.... Instead we got a whole mess that didn’t do much for any character and I was really disappointed.

Saddest moment:

Lincoln’s death. I knew it was coming because I knew the actor was leaving the show, but I was so NOT READY for it omg it’s the scene I still cry everytime I watch it because it’s so sad and heartwrenching....

Most well done character death:

Okay so I think The 100 is really bad at having well done character deaths, so I’m gonna say my less well-done one lmaoooo

Lexa’s. Her death was so stupid. I wasn’t in the fandom at the time so I wasn’t aware of the awful queerbaiting that was going on, so without talking about BTS and marketing ploys, I do believe that her death was heavily predicted by the show. However, it was a stupid death and Lexa was too awesome a character to die by a stray bullet. She deserved a proper send-off, she deserved to die in an epic battle, or fighting for what she believed in,..... not a bullet. 

Favourite guest star:

I know Shawn Mendes (Mendez? I don’t know lmao i don’t know him) was a guest star but I don’t know any other guest star so I guess that’s my answer lmao

Favourite cast member:

I don’t follow the cast, so I don’t have a favorite xD

Character you wish was still alive:

Jasper and Finn both deserve to still be alive, because the show treated their mental struggles like shit and I’m very bitter about that!

One thing you hope really happens:

Honestly, I don’t know? We have four episodes left of the entire show and I have no idea where it’s headed lmao I guess I hope both Emori and Murphy survive to see the end and have a long and happy life <3

Most shocking twist:

Okay I actually have three so I’ll you my top three:

1- The revelation of the Mountain Men. I was absolutely NOT expecting this to happen and I was gasping and going “nooooooooo way!!!” at my computer because it was so out of nowhere!! I loved it lmao

2- Murphy discovers that ALI destroyed the world: the ending of s2. That scene is so chilling, Murphy watching the video of Chris crying and killing himself, cut with scenes of Jaha getting to the mansion and the wholse scene with ALI herself... that whole scene was really cool and unexpected!

3- Clarke and Jaha steal the bunker during the conclave. I was so SHOOK by this moment, it was such a bold move and I loved it!

When did you start watching/reading?:

Early January, 2015. I was back at my appartment waiting for the semester to start, my roommates weren’t back from the holidays yet, and I was bored. So I started the show, and I binged all of season 1 and half of season 2 in 24 hours xD I caught up at Spacewalker, and then had to wait two weeks for the next episode to air and it was agony!!!!

Best animal/creature:

HELIOS THE BEST HORSE THERE IS

Favourite location:

The Second Dawn Bunker. Yeah I know it’s strange coming from me because I absolutely hate so many things about the bunker xD But it was such a cool location!! With the rotunda/arena, the farm, the huge corridors,.....

Trope you wish they would stop using:

“It’s the end of the world, whatever shall we do???” I’m just tired you guys. Nuclear apocalypses and other bombings should not be that common lmao

One thing this show/book/film does better than others:

I love the fact that it has so many different and well developped female characters.It shouldn’t be rare, but it still is, and this show really stands out to me for that reason. I’m not saying it’s the peak of feminism or anything because lmao IT’S NOT. But the women of the show have agency, freedom, they’re all distinct from one another and not just tropes and cliches. I really like it.

Funniest moments:

Nothing comes to mind right now? I feel like an idiot lmao I have so many moments that make me laugh and I can’t think of a single one right now x)

Couple you would like to see:

I would love to have canon Murphy x Emori x Raven!!

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast:

Nobody haha sorry

Favourite outfit:

Blodreina’s cape thingy!

Favourite item:

Raven’s necklace!!! I’m actually hoping to make myself one someday, it’s my favorite thing ^^

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?:

Nothing!

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?:

I wish I could be spacekru haha they’re the best found family of the whole show and we deserved a flashback episode for them <3

Most boring plotline:

the entirety of season 6 xDDDDD

No but seriously, I’m gona say Illian’s plot. Honestly I never got into it at all, I didn’t care enough about him, or his family.

Most laughably bad moment:

I mean, the pilot is pretty cringe-worthy xD

Best flashback/flashfoward if any:

the flashbacks of the Dark Year.

Most layered character:

Octavia

Most one dimensional character:

Jordan lmao I was so disappointed with his story in s6.....

Scariest moment:

OMG in season 2 when Bellamy, Octavia and the guards go into the old parking garage and CAROL OF THE BELLS START PLAYING THAT WAS SO FUCKING CREEPY

Grossest moment:

Ewwww the whole worm thing happening in s5, AND the weird trees growing inside people in s6 xD

Best looking male:

S5 Murphy, hands down. Also s7 Murphy cause he spends half his time shirtless lmao

Best looking female:

Emori! She’s so pretty.

Who you’re crushing on (if any):

I mean everybody is gorgeous but I don’t have a particular fixation haha

Favourite cast moment:

I don’t watch interviews or BTS stuff so I don’t know much, but Richard Harmon wearing hie sister’s costume and wig was really funny ^^

Favourite transportation:

Becca’s rocket

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise):

It’s very obvious symbolism, but I love the last shot of Blood must have blood part 1, with Clarke standing alone in front of the door of Mount Weather.

Also, Octavia forcing the clans into submission in Red Queen, the mini conclave in fron of the doors of the vafeteria. The shots in that scene were really good!

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:

Lmaooooooo do you have ten hours? Because that’s how long I can ramblr about the inconsistencies and plotholtes of this show x) Off the top of my head:

- Why does everybody on the Ark speak Enlighs?

- If Becca knew Nightblood could let you live on Earth then why didn’t she distribute it among the space stations?

- Why did Cadogan build the bunker in the middle of the city when he had a prefectly good FOREST??

- If Lexa is the first Commander to unite the clans then what was the role of the Commander before her?

- Why didn’t the Ark send one adult with the 100 (Pyke) to protect and help them?

- How come the Eligius IV prisoners don’t die when they come back to Earth in s5 since they have no nightblood and didn’t adapt through evolution?

- How is it that Spacekru survived with algea alone but Wonkru had to have this huge variety of plants?? WHAT’S THE MAGIC ALGEA MONTY???

- Why did Mount Weather crash the Exodus ship?

- If the ressources on the Ark are so scarce then why would they float people with clothes on them?

- How come Raven could visit Finn in prison but Bellamy couldn’t visit Octavia?? If Octavia was in solitary, why?

...... Okay i’m gonna stop for now lmao but I could write an entire memoir on the inconsistencies of this show lmao

Best promo:

That one:

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: 

I’m thinking Murphy’s Law? The first few episodes were a little too teenage-drama for me but this episode shifted my opinion enough to get me to keep watching ^^

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

[blodreina-noumou]

Since everyone is talking about characters who're no longer with us, are there any characters from The 100 whose deaths surprised you?

I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this. You sent it back when we were in the midst of Dead Character Appreciation Week 2019, so it was a timely ask that I should’ve answered sooner. My bad!

That being said, there are really only a few deaths that genuinely surprised me on this show. A character’s death is often heavily foreshadowed before it happens - Lexa, Jaha, and Kane are three characters that come to mind as deaths that were Shocking but not Surprising, if that makes sense. They were scenes with a lot of emotional impact, but it’s clear from at least early on in the episode, if not a few episodes beforehand, that the characters are on their way out.

Here are the three that genuinely surprised me:

1 - Finn Collins

I truly don’t believe there will ever be a moment as shocking or well-done as the death of Finn Collins. Early on, it was a given on this show that, while death was everywhere, the main characters had enough plot armor to protect them from an untimely end. Losing Finn, who was arguably the lead male at that point, was so unexpected. We thought Clarke would come in to save her former lover at the last second. Instead, we watched Finn die in Clarke’s arms, his blood dripping from her hands. It’s a pivotal moment for the show, because the stakes were permanently heightened from then on. I still don’t know that there’s been a more shocking death since.

2 - Lincoln kom Trikru

Part of what makes this death so shocking is that it comes right on the heels of the loss of another fan favorite - Lexa. The pointlessness of Lincoln’s early end still stings. We know it was due almost entirely to behind-the-scenes drama, and that’s disappointing. When I first watched, I really expected Octavia to find a way to save him, like she always had before. Instead, we get one of the most heartbreaking scenes in The 100, and Lincoln is gone forever.

3 - Jacapo Sinclair

No, Sinclair - you died to increase the drama in one of the weirdest episodes of The 100 of all time. And I’m still salty about it. Although his status as the only remaining adult left to watch out for the Delinquents made him a retroactively obvious choice to be killed off, it’s genuinely surprising when it happens in the episode itself. Even with everyone being hunted down by Emerson, we don’t really expect that we’re going to lose anyone. The fact that someone as cool as Sinclair was offed by a lamewad like Emerson still makes me mad. But it’s a surprising moment, even still.

Some honorable mentions, that were either spoiled for me before the episode aired, or that weren’t quite surprising enough for other reasons: Monty and Harper, Abby, Maya, and Miles “Zeke” Shaw.

[zutaralesbian]

all the questions for the ask meme! :)

Wow okay! Thanks anon :)

1. What was your first OTP? 

I think the first thing I ever shipped as in, wanted together, was Arnold/Helga from Hey Arnold! as a kid lol. But the first ship I did fandom things for (as in, read fic for them and that kind of stuff) was Derek/Chloe from the Darkest Powers series.

2. What is your current OTP?

At the moment it's definitely Ian/Mickey from Shameless. But it'll probably change to Eve/Villanelle when Killing Eve comes back on.

3. Do you have any OT3/OT+ ships? What are your favorites?

Not any hardcore ones no. I'm monogamous and therefore I have a very monogamous view on things when it comes to shipping. Most of the time when I "ship" OT3's it's because I love all three characters and want them to be happy. (Ex: Eleanor/Max/Anne from Black Sails)

I guess the only OT3 I actually ship in a sense where I think it's meant to be an OT3 is Miguel/Tulio/Chel from The Road to El Dorado. Because come on, that was pretty much canon. Miguel and Tulio were raging bisexuals who were in love with each other and with Chel.

4. What is/are your favorite trope(s)?

Enemies-to-friends-to-lovers is my JAM. I love ships where I can look at their very first scene together and I think "wow who would have thought????" (Gallavich is a perfect example of this btw)

I also really love opposites attract and childhood friends to lovers.

5. What is/are your least favorite trope(s)?

Evil man is only redeemed because of his "love" for a woman. I love redemption arcs but they have to be well done and that ain't it lol.

I'm also not usually into ships that start off as affairs. (Where one or both of the characters are cheating on their current significant other with each other). Unless the character(s) they're cheating on is/are awful, I always feel too bad for them.

6. Do you have a certain kind of ship you’re more attracted to?

Not really tbh. I have tropes that I definitely enjoy (see above) but I've shipped a wide variety of different kinds of pairings.

7. Are most of your ships “pure” or “problematic”?

I think I have a good mixture of both kinds? There's been times where I thought a ship was pure but other people in fandom circles find some sort of reason to tear into them. (See: Katniss/Peeta from The Hunger Games)

8. Who is the most shippable person you can think of?

Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. My main OTP for him is obviously Zuko/Katara but I see the appeal of a bunch of his other ships as well. Also Bonnie from The Vampire Diaries.

9. Are there any fandoms you don’t have any ships for?

Stranger Things. I'm all about the platonic relationships on that show.

10. Do characters have to have canon interactions for you to ship them?

I think so, yeah. I can't think of anything I've shipped where the characters didn't directly interact with each other at least once.

11. What makes a great ship in your own opinion?

When you get the essence that they just compliment and complete each other.

12. What drives you away from a ship?

When they are rushed. If I feel like a ship is forced or happened too fast, it gets completely ruined for me.

13. Is there anything you ship but refuse to interact with the community for?

Ngl this was the Gallavich fandom for a while until I found my own little circle lol

14. Has a fanbase ever made you ship or not ship something? Why?

Bellamy/Clarke from The 100. (As in, I stopped shipping them). This was a mixture of the fanbase and just losing interest in the show in general though. But members of the B*llarke fandom showing their homophobic asses when Clarke/Lexa happened definitely didn't help.

15. Do you like/participate in ship wars? Why or why not?

I don't like them and try to avoid them. The only time I actively participated in ship wars was during my TVD days lol. Luckily there aren't really any ship wars in the Shameless or Killing Eve fandom because everyone ships Gallavich and Villaneve. I just think it's a waste of time. I'd rather debate over more interesting things.

16. Are there any ships you just can’t/don’t understand? What are they?

The only example I can think of is Klaus/Caroline from TVD. Or rather, I never understood why they were so popular. That was the most forced shit I've ever seen and they had little to no substance lol. Most of the time I do understand ships, even if I hate them.

17. Are there any popular ships that you just don’t like? What are they?

Rey/Kylo. Damon/Elena. Klaus/Caroline. Spike/Buffy. Jon/Dany and Jon/Sansa. Those are all the super big ones I think.

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship?

Once upon a time I would have said Finn/Rey from Star Wars but they were ruined for me. I still love TFA! Finnrey though.

19. Do you prefer fluff, angst, or smut for your ships? 

Why not all?

20. Do you prefer bigger fanbases or smaller ones?

They both have their plus and minuses. With bigger fanbases, you have more fan content to enjoy. But smaller fandoms seem cozier and as someone who is shy, it's kind of easier for me to participate in smaller fandoms. So idk.

21. Have you ever received hate for a ship you liked? 

That time someone called me a Zutara shipper as an insult over a Killing Eve post lol. That was wild.

22. Do you have any ships that you ship, but would never want to see as canon?

Nope don't think so. If I would be against something going canon, I'm probably not going to ship it at all.

23. Have you ever had a ship become canon, but you didn’t like how it was portrayed?

Jaime/Brienne from Game of Thrones lmao. I would have rather they were never canon if it was just gonna lead to that. I still have hope that they'll play out better in the books but it's unlikely at this point that GRRM will even finish them.

24. What is your favorite canon ship?

I have an ocean of them. That's too wide of a question.

25. What are your favorite ships from a dead fandom?

Define dead. Like not active anymore? I have a lot of old school book OTP's with fandoms that are now dead. Derek/Chloe from Darkest Powers. Adrian/Sydney from Bloodlines. Raffe/Penryn from Angelfall. And Damon/Bonnie from the TVD books, which was the first ship I ever write fic for actually lol. And I wrote a bunch.

26. What are your favorite shipping scenes?

"Sorry I'm late" - Gallavich

"I feel things when I'm with you" - Villaneve

"I think I'm the one that should be thanking you" - Zutara

"I do. I need you." - Everlark

"You're all that matters to me." - Pricefield

"There is nothing important that does not include you." - Maxanne

27. What are your views on reader x canon ships?

I'm not into them but whatever floats people's boats

28. What is your best shipping advice?

Don't engage in ship wars. They're not worth it. Just find your own friends in the fandom that share similiar opinions to your own (or who you can disagree with respectfully) and stick with them. It makes things more fun.

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)?

I don't mind them if they're used sparingly. I can't usually get into fics where the OC's are one of the main focuses though.

30. What are some of your favorite shipping blogs?

Depends on what ship you're talking about

[thelittlefanpire]

The 100 Ask Game

okay, I was searching through @dylanobrienisbatman’s echo tag for some head canons awhile back and stumbled upon this! I’ve tweaked it a little and added some things from S5 and omg this is so fun! thanks to whoever made this ask game! S6 STARTS TONIGHT!

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Farm Station. I grew up in the south and my great/grandparents all owned farms so yeah, probably Farm Station.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

I think this happened to a character in the book...I would probably get locked up for getting pregnant as a teen! lol

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

If Bellamy Blake asked me to, you bet I would.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

an eagle 🦅

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

WELLS DESERVED BETTER JAHA

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

The Leaders: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin

The Brains: Raven Reyes & Monty Green

The Muscle : Lincoln kom Trikru

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

Geographically, I would probably reside in Trikru somewhere. But I really want to live in Shallow Valley. I wish we had seen more of that clan!

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

sara - sera ? I don’t know. lol

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

He was okay in the beginning. I was pissed when I found out he had a girlfriend in space and was trying to get with Clarke on the ground. I did not like him at all in S2! The guy really lost it in the end.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I would have been able to resist in the beginning. Maybe took a step back to watch others take it first. But peer pressure, man. I would have given in eventually.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Clarke Griffin. She’s been isolated a lot and that’s something I relate to. And her Mama Bear instincts.

12. What character do you like the least?

S1- Finn, S2- Cage Wallace, S3- Pike, S4- Echo, S5- Kara Cooper

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Clarke’s soda tab jacket or Raven’s red bomber jacket!

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

The blue butterflies! 🦋

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

A teacher! Teaching Earth History! Oh, that sounds amazing.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Barf.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

Luna. Is there any other answer but Luna?

Nightblood aside, I think Octavia (with Lincoln still alive to influence her) would be a cool choice too.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

Paranoid af.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Bellamy Blake approach.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

I don’t care who is the Chancellor, but Clarke Griffin is in charge. lol. Kane was the best leader for Skaikru on the ground.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Kane’s side! Viva la revolución!

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

Chocolate. All the chocolate!

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Tattoos: let me get that eagle across my back or on my sternum that I’ve always wanted

Hairstyle: the most epic Harper style braid please

War paint: no thanks

24. Favorite quote?

”In peace, may you leave this shore.

In love, may you find the next.

Safe passage on your travels,

until our final journey to the ground.

May we meet again.”

-The Traveler’s Blessing

Or literally anything Bellamy Blake says. lol

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I feel like as unlikely as it is, the show really has Octavia set up as Warrior Princess Goddess Hero and she would win. lol. As far as forming alliances and making it to the end...Clarke Griffin could make it with Bellamy Blake by her side throwing back nighlock berries till the end.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least: Mackson

Favorite canon: Zaven

Favorite non-canon: Sea Mechanic

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

Radioactive needs to make another appearance in S6

Musical Guest Star: how about Hozier?

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

We’d probably go crazy.

29. Your an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Bellamy Blake choking me to death... (can’t believe this took me so long to answer. Is there really any other answer from me?)

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

I would have liked more flashbacks of Roan and Luna and Lincoln. Spacekru on the Ring. Emori? Harper? literally everyone, right?

31. A character you’d bang?

Bellamy Blake. All day. Every day.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

SPACE!

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Sure. I don’t think I’d have much of a choice. I’d probably help take care of all the little kids!

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

Okay, so the way my life works I would probably get pregnant...again. And steal some blankets or something that I needed for all my kids. I’m not even going to front and say I survive that fighting pit sooo hope Blodreina trains them little squirts well!

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

I’m instantly bonding with Harper. She’s the sweetest.

I’m going to be a little leary of Bellamy Blake during his Clarke ‘I left her behind’ Griffin Depression hour. So he’s probably really mopey and moody. And let’s just avoid him for a while.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Two weeks? I’d probably starve to death.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

HIDE! And then spy on them. Figure out who they are and if they’re friendly. Go to them for help if they are. Take them all out in their sleep if they’re not.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Miles Ezekiel ‘Zeke’ Shaw!

That creepy Kodiak guy.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Hell yes!

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Bugs, definitely bugs.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

I’d fight for it.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

BAND-AIDS DON’T FIX BULLET HOLES — AND NEITHER DO THUMB DRIVES. That was such a clever move. I’m going with thumb drives over worms. I hate the worm scene. gross!

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

I’m not a big fan of my sister, so yes. Was there any easier way to stop Octavia? I mean, Clarke wanted to kill her. They wanted to protect Madi. As much as that scene pained me I think Bellamy did the right thing soooo I would poison her.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Stay asleep. Unless I’m living my entire life with Bellamy Blake by my side I dont want it.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

JR isn’t going to give it to us so I’m waking up Octavia so her and Jordan can have a First One on the Ground Pilot parallel!

you may have already done this so I’m sorry! But the bottom questions are new!

tagging...everyone :) : @the-most-beautiful-broom @baellamy @youleftme-clarke @chants-de-lune @asroarke @marvelscaptainss @pawprinterfanfic @octannibal-blake @thehundredtimesobsessed @tabatharich @sly2o @grumpybell @galaxyblake @mjlupin22 @probably-voldemort @twd-is-life-98 @ghoulbrothers @ponyregrets @bettsfic @chancellorgriffin @sometimesrosy @sclestial @johnmurphysass @peterstarkss @clarkegriffintitties @daeneryskairipa @nikitajobson @perpetualbbps @lieutenantshaw @talistheintrovert @diyozas @llysandra @morleybobs @mamabearsdontthink @angelwingsnaya @selflessbellamy @hopewolves @kinetic-elaboration @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @anne-shirley-blythe @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky @catastrophic-chloe @lovethyblakes @ellaalyse @eyessharpweaponshot @clarke-kom-eden @viviansternwood and anyone else who wants to join!

[grahamslecters]

Abby Griffin. 💭

Does this mean opinion? If so HATE with all my being. I was recently talking about this with @shaemysterious and I’ll explain some of the reasons here:

A hypocrite

This entire season (and every season) has just her judging other people for things that she has also done! When she told Jackson ‘said every war criminal ever’ I was just so confused because: why was bloodreina born in the first place? Oh yes, you made her force people into canibalism and the DIDN’T TAKE THE BLAME. And I am sure that next episode (or whenever) she is going to be mad that they killed Clarke for Josephine when she has done the exact same thing with Kane. I get it, it’s her daughter but that guy is someone’s son- does she think about that?

Plays the victim

Remember in season 5 when she told Clarke about how the ‘things WE did to survive’. She doesn’t even tell her that it was her idea, that it was her who forced this she just says that she did this to survive and thus puts all of the blame onto Octavia. Which brings me into my next point:

Manipulates people to get what she wants

How old was Octavia when wonkru began? She had to be under 18 to fit the timeline. And during ‘the dark year’ or whatever they call it she used that vulnerability Octavia showed when she didn’t know what to do to make sure that she got her idea in and to make sure it happened. At this point Octavia is on the edge of losing herself- she has all this responsibility, she doesn’t know if Bellamy and her first real friends (except Miller) are alive and she is still upset about Lincoln. Abby should be helping her with this and yet she uses this to get away from the blame. And in season 1 she used Wells against Jaha ALL THE TIME (and again I get it, she is fighting for her daughter and is using his son to relate them but his son JUST DIED have some respect)

Gets what she wants no matter what

Do I even need to say anything? Every character has done bad things so stuff off of this list could be cancelled out EXCEPT every other character, including the ‘villains’ have done it for their people or for the greater good. Abby only does it for what she wants. We see that when she plans to go down to Earth by risking Raven’s life. We see it through the night blood trials. ‘Clarke, no’ she says when Clarke is involved but what about Emori? They don’t know each other so it doesn’t matter? And THEN she breaks the chamber thingy so Clarke doesn’t do the trials (which would have worked) therefore destroying the entire populations last chance of survival at this point because her daughter might suffer. Yeah, thanks Abby but I’m pretty sure you just subjected her to the same thing but a couple days later- I thought doctors were meant to be smart? Even I worked that one out

Focused more about Kane then her own daughter

Let’s be honest- in the beginning Josephine was a terrible actress AND I MEAN TERRIBLE. You could be deaf and blindfolded and still work out it wasn’t Clarke and Abby, her mother, the person who is meant to support her without fail, doesn’t even notice? Except she does notice and just, forgets. Like, oh well Clarke swapped her writing hands but what does it matter because KANE! WE NEED TO SAVE KANE!! BECUASE KANE IS GOOD! umm, no he is not, not even slightly. In fact, in season 1 he was one of the ‘villains’ and was plotting to murder innocents for himself to live. I just love it when my good guys do this.

And as a side point of this:

Very forgetful

Hi, Abby, you know this man you are saving because he is good helped kill your husband, sent your daughter to jail (where she would later be executed) and THEN fought with you every time you said they might be alive and basically trying to destroy any hope you had for you daughter’s safety? What about when he nearly floated you back in season 1- less so because you wasted resources- but because you were opposing his plans. Remember that tidbit?

Do you know what it means to be a doctor?

On earth, present day, doctors make an oath to save people from death and treat the. The ark, presumably, shares these same values except Abby never does this on screen. From the very beginning we see her disregard her duty as a doctor to save lives- unless it serves her. She saves Jaha because he is a supporting member of her on the council but how does she do it? By wasting the short supply of blood and anaesthetic they have on one man. One man when it could have helped save others who were in need.

What is family loyalty?

That is a question that I’m sure Abby can’t answer because she has hurt every one in her family for her personal gain. She turned Jake in when he wanted to tell the people about the oxygen crisis. This got her husband killed! She did this because she didn’t want to be implicated and possibly get floated too, in my opinion. She basically kills her husband to save her own skin. (As a side note: if,the message was posted they could have all looked for a solution and sorted it so..). Then, she lies about it to her daughter. She lies about it which causes Clarke to lose her best friend essentially isolating her more than the prison cell did. And, in the topic of Clarke she sent her to the ground because the ark was running out of air which would endanger her life. And now, she has no idea what is going on with Clarke and she never has. We never see scenes of Abby talking with Clarke about how she is feeling unless something MAJOR has happened (l.xa and Finn’s deaths are the only times that I can recall).

And finally,

what is her plot line?

She is in no way whatsoever moving th plot along- if anything she is holding it back. For the past 2 season her entire storyline is save Marcus because Marcus is good and everyone else can choke. Okay, and? Is that all your character is now?

I’m SO sorry that this is so long, I really didn’t mean for this to happen but I just have a lot of feelings when it comes to Abby Griffin. Overall, my opinion on Abby is that she serves the plot in no way shape or form and is a selfish character who doesn’t know the meaning of the phrase ‘this is my fault’

Thank you for the ask :)

[wonderful-writer]

12 - Strangled

Summary: Everyone is on edge with the looming threat of the grounder army. Murphy takes Bellamy and Y/n hostage in the dropship for a talk and attempted murder, and Finn and Clarke come back to camp with important information.

Word Count: 3.14k

Based Off: 01x12, “We are Grounders, Part One”

Everyone who was readily available was building foxholes and digging up holes for Raven’s landmines. You helped Octavia provide camouflage for the foxholes, giving you a better vantage point so the grounders didn’t spot you as easily.

A gunshot went off, scaring the hell out of you and everyone else, before realizing one of the men on guard fell asleep and accidentally shot one of the bullets. Bellamy got angry at him and started yelling about how that was one less dead grounder, so you stepped up.

You intervened when Bellamy shoved the guy up against the pole he was leaning against.

“Bellamy, stop!” You yelled.

“Everyone’s on edge, and you not giving people breaks is making everything worse. So just shut the hell up.” He let go of the man and backed off. Once you realized you had made a scene, you yelled at everyone to get back to work, before taking the gun from the man. 

“Take a break, I got the next shift.” He looked gratefully at you and you smiled, leaning up against the pole he was at, looking out into the trees for grounders. 

You were standing by the fire near the dropship when you heard the doors start to close, and Bellamy sprinting towards them. You ran with him and some of the others, drawing your sword as Bellamy yelled for Murphy to open the door.

“You try to be a hero, Jasper dies!” He shouted back, ceasing your movements. You dropped your sword and a gasp slipped past your lips. Your brother could die again, and it all depended on the actions of the man you could barely stand to look at. 

You waited for the rest of the night and into the day outside the dropship doors with Bellamy, although you didn’t dare look at him. “I just heard Murphy has Jasper.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy replied. “Is the south foxhole done?” 

“What? My friend is in there with a killer.” She raged.

“O, look around, no one’s working. If the grounders attack us right now, we’re all dead.”

She sighed at her brother's response and marched up to the door. “Murphy! Murphy if you even touch Jasper, I swear to God, you’re dead.”

“Octavia! I got this.” Bellamy told his little sister.

“Really? ‘Cause it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything about it.” She snapped.

“Bellamy, you’re right.” Raven approached the pair, while you stood underneath the scraped American flag. “There’s a loose panel in the back. If I can pop it, we can get in through the floor.” 

“Good. Do it.” He told her as you walked up to them. 

“You do realize that if you’re caught, my brother dies. Murphy told you not to be a hero and look at you, Bellamy. Breaking the one rule he set, just like every other one. For a leader, you can’t follow orders very well, can you?”

Raven rolled her eyes and walked away to see what she could do, while Octavia smirked at you before walking off.

“Murphy, I know you can hear me.” He spoke into the walkie talkie. “All of our food and ammo are on the middle level. You know that. You’re leaving us vulnerable to an attack. I can’t let that happen.”

“Yeah, well in case you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly in control right now.” Murphy’s response came out of the walkie slightly garbled and staticky, but still clear enough for you to hear. 

“Come on, Murphy, you don’t want to hurt Jasper. You want to hurt me.” He smirked. 

“So what do you say? How about you trade him for me?” He bargained. A look of shock passed your face. You knew exactly what would happen if Bellamy went in there alone. 

“All you have to do is let him go, and I'll take his place.”

“How?” Murphy asked.

“Bellamy, don’t.” You protested his actions.

“Oh, so now you care?” He countered. 

“Bellamy, we can do something else.” You disregarded his comment. “Anything else. You know what’s going to happen if you go in there and none of us can afford to lose you. Please, don’t go in there.”

He ignored your pleas and spoke into the radio. “Simple. You open the door, I walk in, he walks out.”

The doors opened and Murphy yelled. “Just you, Bellamy! Unarmed!” 

He handed the radio to Octavia and his gun to someone else, exchanging a few words with her and walking into the dropship as Jasper stumbled out, rolling onto the ground tied up. You and Octavia removed his restraints and you hugged him, watching the dropship door close. 

Jasper then went to help Raven and you and Octavia got everyone back to work while you both stood anxiously outside the doors. A shot rang out and you grabbed the radio from Octavia’s hand before she had a chance to use it.

“Bellamy? What was that?” Your anxious voice rang out through the dropship, causing Murphy to smirk.

“Oh, it’s your precious little Queen. How about we get her to pay us a visit?”

A late response echoed from the radio, but it wasn’t the voice you wanted to hear. “He’s fine, it was just a misfire.”

“Now, about your precious Queenie.” Murphy chuckled. “I want her in here. She’s gonna want to see this. Same rules as before. No weapons, and alone.” 

The silence that followed was thick and heavy in the air, until you gave your weapons to Octavia, along with the radio. 

“Y/n, no-” Octavia began to protest.

“I’ll be okay, Tavia. Don’t worry.” You assured her as the dropship door opened again. You ran inside as fast as possible, Murphy aiming his gun to you.

“Well, well, well, look who finally joined us! You know, I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time, but seeing the way you two act around each other really will make this so much better.” A maniacal smirk crossed his lips and walked around you, kicking your knees and sending you to the ground.

“Now, Y/n, I want you to do the same as Bellamy, here, and tie some ropes together for me.”

You did as told and ignored the worried look on Bellamy’s face as he finished tying his together. You followed Murphy’s instructions and finished quickly, realizing that he had forced you to fashion a noose. You just made the weapon you were to be killed with.

“Bellamy, get up and toss it over there.” He pointed with his gun to a beam and then told you to do the same, but on the opposite side of the ladder, near the door.

He smirked at Bellamy, who now realized that you were both about to die. “What do you want me to say? You want me to apologize? I’m-” He stopped himself when Murphy aimed his gun at him.

“I’m sorry.” He said genuinely. 

“You got it all wrong, Bellamy,” Murphy told him. “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to feel what I felt, I want you to watch Y/n die, and then… then I want you to die.”

You looked at Bellamy, terrified. You had no idea what to do, and you didn’t either. You were just glad that Raven had ignored your request to do as Murphy said. You both got makeshift stools and put them under your nooses, as instructed, standing on them.

“Put them over your heads.” He demanded, and you obeyed.

“Now Y/n,” Murphy smirked as he put the gun down and picked up your end of the noose, along with Bellamys, which was in his other hand. “We’re gonna have a little… talk, the three of us.”

“Go to hell, Murphy.” He tugged on your noose, lifting your feet from the stool and choking you.

“No!” Bellamy yelled, resulting in Murphy letting his grip go slack, turning to the man.

“You’re so brave, aren’t you?” He asked. “I mean, you came in here thinking you were gonna turn this whole thing around, that you were stronger than me, and maybe one of your friends would come and help you.”

As he walked closer, he tightened the grip on the noose, pulling it up ever so slightly as he talked. He let go of Bellamy’s noose and turned back towards you. “Now how about that talk, hmm?”

“What do you want to talk about, Murphy?” You asked, hands around the noose.

“Why, you and Bellamy, of course.” He smiled. Your heart skipped a beat out of anxiety. “See, I know how you feel about him, Y/n. And I also know how he feels about you. So you’re gonna tell him, or I’ll choke you out until you do.”

You exhaled shakily, tears forming in your eyes. “I have nothing to say, Murphy, so you might as well kill me. You’re going to do it anyway.”

He pulled harshly on your rope, sending you into the air, kicking around hopelessly. He put you back down after about 20 seconds. “Let’s try this again. I heard you talking to Jasper, Y/n. Don’t lie to me.”

You refused to speak, and Murphy hauled you into the air again Bellamy yelling for Murphy to put you down “Okay! Okay,” You rasped, Murphy setting you down again. “I’ll talk.”

“Finally! Now, I want you to tell him everything, don’t leave anything out.” Murphy demanded.

“Okay, okay. I don’t know how to tell you, but I guess just saying it will work.” You locked eyes with Bellamy. “I think I'm in love with you. And not in the ‘you’re my best friend’ kind of way; in the ‘I feel like I’ve known you my whole damn life and can’t go a day without seeing you or hearing your voice or talking to you’ kind of way.”

“I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but I love you. My mother told me that sometimes falling in love is fast and unexpected, that you don’t see it until you’re already at the bottom and you can’t get back up. And I can’t tell you how much it hurt when you slept with Raven. When I saw her and you in your tent, it killed me, Bell. That’s why I was so cold to you. Because I thought that maybe you loved me too, and then you did that and I- I didn’t want to believe it.”

The tears that streamed down your face were unstoppable, and Bellamy just wanted to wipe them away, but it would get you both killed. “Y/n, look at me.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. “I... I think I love you, too. I can’t even begin to think of my life without you, without the 100, without Earth. Because it all brought me to you. And I am so thankful that it did. Because I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t gotten on that dropship and come to Earth, because I wouldn’t have met you. Hell, I’d probably be dead if it weren’t for you.”

“Aw, how sweet,” Murphy mocked. “Too bad it won’t last long.” 

“You know, Bellamy, I gotta hand it to you.” He commented, changing the direction of the conversation like flipping a light switch. “You got ‘em all fooled. They actually look up to you. Almost as much as they look up to Clarke and Queenie over here,”

Bellamy’s feet were barely touching the stool, teetering slightly as he attempted to keep himself on it. 

“Yeah, well, we know the truth, don’t we? You’re a coward.” He accused. “I learned that the day you kicked the crate out from underneath me.”

“Isn’t that what you said?” He asked the man. “That you were just giving the people what they wanted, right?”

“I should have stopped them,” Bellamy admitted. 

“Yeah, it’s a little too late for that now,” Murphy explained. 

“How do you think this is gonna work, Murphy?” You asked. “You think they're just gonna let you walk out of here?”

“Well, I think the princess is dead… and I know the king’s about to die, along with his oh so precious queen, so who’s really gonna lead these people, huh?” Murphy asked rhetorically.

“Me, that’s who. And yeah, maybe I’ll have to kill your grounder-pounding little sister-” Murphy stopped himself when Bellamy kicked at him, retaliating by pulling on his rope, which was now tied up along with yours on the ladder. 

“Bellamy! Murphy, stop!” You yelled, straining against your noose. Everything went silent when Raven yelped from underneath the floor, catching Murphy’s attention. He let Bellamy go and grabbed his gun again.

“I’m guessing that’s her right now.” He smirked, shooting at the floor. You and Bellamy yelled at Murphy to stop shooting blindly until he ran out of bullets. Bellamy began to get himself out of the noose and Murphy noticed, yanking on it again to get him to stay in place.

“You’re gonna regret that.” Murphy smirked. He moved from Bellamy to you, aggressively kicking the stool from underneath your feet.

Your face grew hotter and hotter as blood and oxygen were becoming limited for your brain, tears welling up in your eyes as you scratched at your own throat in a feeble attempt to break free. Bellamy was calling out your name as your vision went blurry, attempting to use his hands as an advantage.

“Using your hands is a cheat.” Murphy pulled Bellamy’s hands away from his neck. “Mine were bound, remember?” Bellamy managed to punch Murphy away from him, but he just got back up and began to pistol-whip him instead. 

“Stop, no! Please don’t!” Your voice was raspy and barely audible, but that didn’t stop you from using the air you had left to protest Murphy’s actions. The door started to creak open and Murphy made his escape up to the second level as your vision darkened and your muscles felt entirely too weak for you to move anything. Your hands slipped from your neck and you closed your eyes, stopping all protests of being hung.

Jasper was the first through the door, grabbing Bellamy’s legs to support him and give him air, while Miller did the same for you. They cut you down and lowered you to the ground, eyes still closed and body completely limp.

“Murphy!” He yelled, voice even deeper and rougher than normal. Which is something that’s to be expected after almost being hanged. He struggled to get up and Octavia assisted him, while Jasper moved to your body.

“Y/n?” He asked quietly. 

“Y/n wake up!” He yelled, capturing Octavia and Bellamy’s attention. Bellamy put your head in his lap, taking note of the purple and yellow bruises forming around your neck. Octavia pushed everyone back and not long after, your eyes fluttered open, taking a deep intake of air.

A loud bang echoed from the second level, taking Bellamy and Jasper’s attention. Miller got the hatch open and Octavia came to support you as you sat up, allowing Bellamy and Jasper to investigate.

Everyone else went back to their stations and Octavia helped you stand, giving you a cup of water. 

“Thanks,” You rasped out. She smiled and helped you get your voice back until Bellamy and Jasper came flying down the ladder and out the door. You followed after them, skidding to a stop beside Bellamy as the doors began to open.

“Wait! Hold your fire! It’s Clarke and Finn! Open the gate!” Miller yelled at the approaching crowd. Clarke and Finn ran in, out of breath.

“We heard an explosion, what happened?” Were the first words out of Clarke’s mouth.

“Murphy is what happened.” Bellamy sighed. Jasper hugged her tightly as soon as he made his way towards her, and she accepted it gratefully. 

“Where have you been? Where’s Monty?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

“Monty’s gone?” She asked, but Finn interrupted.

“Clarke, we need to leave, now.” He said with urgency. “All of us do. There’s an army of grounders, unlike anything we’ve ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run.”

“Like hell we do.” Bellamy protested, his voice still raspy. “We knew this was coming.”

“Bell, we’re not prepared,” Octavia reasoned.

“And they’re not here yet.” He countered. “We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls?”

“There’s an ocean to the east. People there will help us.” Finn informed the group. 

“You saw Lincoln.” Octavia stated. 

“You expect us to trust a grounder?” Bellamy asked his sister. “This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands!” He addressed the delinquents.

“Our dead are buried behind that wall in the ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don’t belong here. But they’ve yet to realize one very important fact: We are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!”

“Grounders with guns!” One of the delinquents shouted.

“Damn right!” Was Bellamy’s response. “I say let ‘em come!” If there was one thing he was good at, it was firing up the crowd.

“Bellamy’s right! If we leave, we might never find a place as safe as this.” Clarke spoke up. “And God knows, in this world, we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that if we stay here, we will die tonight. So pack your things. Only take what you can carry, now.” You interjected, seeing where Clarke was heading with her speech. She looked over at you and you looked back at her, nodding in agreement.

Everyone moved into position and began to gather whatever they could, while Bellamy looked at you and Clarke disappointedly. You stood with them and watched the others as Raven came through the back entrance. 

“Help me!” She shouted, holding a bloodied hand to her abdomen. You, Finn, and the others raced over to her, looping her arm over your neck to help support her.

“Murphy shot her,” Jasper said, Finn taking her from you and into his arms. You followed them into the dropship but was stopped by Bellamy.

“Y/n, you know that leaving here is a big mistake.” 

“I do, but it’s one I’m willing to make so our people don’t die.” You looked him earnestly in the eyes and went into the dropship to see how you were able to help. 

Raven was brought to the table where you once lay, Clarke lifting her singlet to reveal her wound, Finn holding her hand and Bellamy standing by to help if he could. As you looked around you, the daunting realization came that things were about to get rough really fast.

Taglist:  @soullessbabee​ | @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis​ | @dummythiccwitch​ | @sireddobrev​ | @gxvrielle​