#sorry to those with aphantasia

[deanhisnippleisout]

these ai destiel kiss gifs are scary 😭😭😭 we should be imagining the porn in our minds eye like gaia intended

[sp00ky-scary]

To preface this I don't like AI, I think the ways in which AI is currently being used is the worst way we could be using AI, HOWEVER, I think the ways in which we discuss what makes AI art "bad" aren't like productive I guess. I don't really know how to explain it but the way in which people are defining what makes art human and what makes it "good" or "bad" are more detrimental to artists than anything ? And like idk it feels kinda discouraging at times and like it falls into old discourse surrounding art and things like referencing.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:

(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)

(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)

It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.

Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.

It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.

The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.

So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.

I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.

--

This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm

.

Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..

Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?

Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.

Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??

(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)

Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --

Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?

But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).

BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....

AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....

Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --

As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[copperbadge]

What do you do with the feeling of nostalgia? How do you cope with it?

I've had this ask in my inbox for a while and I keep circling back to it with a mixture of contemplation and puzzlement -- not that it's a total non-sequitur or anything, but I am curious if anything I wrote inspired the question, because I don't think I talk about nostalgia much. Part of that is an answer to the question, I think, which is that I don't really feel nostalgia, though I suppose it also depends on how we're defining nostalgia.

For example, I left California when I was 18 and because my family also left at the same time I just kind of haven't looked back. I'm not nostalgic for California, but I couldn't really tell you why. Yes, it has changed a lot, but I don't yearn for it to change back; I don't want to live there again or be a child again. Last time I was there I did write about seeing kids at my old high school doing stuff I did when I was a student but that was a contemplation on the throughline of history moreso than nostalgia.

Perhaps part of it is just the way my brain works. A poor memory for personal history (SDAM, or Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which is part of the whole aphantasia-ADHD deal) means that I don't really relive fond memories of my past unless something reminds me of them, and since I'm not in contact with most of the people I grew up with and my family has been in Texas for over 20 years, kind of doesn't happen much. And because of RSD, a lot of memories that do come up are unpleasant, because I hardcode those into my brain a lot more thoroughly. To me that's not nostalgia (though for the record what I do with those memories is avoid them, mostly).

So...I guess I never really thought of myself as someone who feels nostalgia, but I also always thought nostalgia was kind of nice -- like, to me nostalgia represents someone indulging in a happy memory for a while, a kind of self-soothing. The only negative connotation I have with nostalgia is the idea that some people let their nostalgia control their decision-making in a way that is neither healthy for them nor good for others. But the idea of having to cope with a feeling of nostalgia is a little foreign to me.

Sorry, Anon, I imagine that's not a super satisfying answer, but I think we are maybe working on different definitions of the term.

[w00dw1tch]

Tips for Visualization

@neverpathia responded to my posts asking for questions months ago, so we're gonna start there. I'm so sorry it took me this long!

It's important to note that some people can't visualize at all. It's called aphantasia, and it's the inability to form mental images. So if you've tried and tried but aren't seeing anything in your imagination, don't be discouraged. It's completely normal and in no way impacts your ability to do successful spell work. People with aphantasia usually benefit from describing the process to themselves out loud.

And that brings me to my biggest tip: Say it aloud.

I've always had trouble focusing. I would sit and try to force images in my head, but I couldn't hold onto them. Talking myself through energy and spell work has been a game changer. I've found it helps you hold onto the energy you're working with too.

Let distractions pass.

These are technically meditation techniques but I use them in visualization all the time. They help keep you focused and strengthen that skill.

The Park Bench: I got this from a youtuber years ago but can't for the life of my find them now. I've adapted it slightly.

You're sitting on a bench working on the task at hand. In front of you is a path where people and sometimes animals are passing. These are thoughts and distractions unrelated to the task. As they pass, don't force yourself to ignore them. Doing so will cause those thoughts to nag at you. Acknowledge them and allow them to pass by.

TVs on Conveyor Belts: This technique is from HearthWitch on YouTube. I'm going to link the video here, I truly cannot recommend her channel enough.

It's a similar premise to the park bench, except its TVs on conveyor belts. There are hundreds of them, stretching as far back as you can see. I like to imagine there's a screen in front of me that shows the task at hand. Now TVs are going to be passing in the background, and sometimes a big one will even jump in front of your main screen. It's okay that it happens. What's important is that you don't jam the conveyor belt. Acknowledge and let those screens pass you by. This isn't always easy, but with practice it's very helpful.

Lighting and Ambiance

Matt Auryn talks about the connection between dim lighting and the activation of our third eye or the pineal gland in our brain in his book Psychic Witch. Practicing meditation or visualization in dim lighting often has better results and is especially helpful for me. I like candle light but anything works and a flickering candle can be more distracting then helpful.

A light incense can be very calming as well as some meditation music. Typically people go with light instrumental music for minimal distraction. But I do know a few people who find hard metal more helpful. Music in general can help set the mood and drown out other sounds in a busy place.

Practice!

Visualization is a skill. You will have days where you're great at it, and days where it feels way harder. There will be lots of learning curves but I promise the more you practice, the easier it gets.

My favorite practice exercise is The Disk Method. I learned this from HearthWitch too, though I know she got it from somewhere else. I'm going to add the transcription as I have it in my own book of shadows, but please show this Youtuber some love. My practice wouldn't be where it is without her content.

The Disk - Master one stage before moving onto the next one. Practice all the steps first with your eyes closed, then with them open.

There’s a flat red disk floating in front of you. It has a matte coating and is roughly the size of a hockey puck. Once you can see the disk, try touching it to make it spin or just imagining it spinning. Rotate it in all different directions, see how it looks from different angles and how the light plays off it.

The disk becomes a sphere. It's now a red ball with the same matte finish. Notice how the light reflects off it differently now. Spin it around. Squish it if you want.

The ball becomes very, very shiny. How does the light play off it now? Things in the room might be reflected on its surface. What can you see?

Now, it’s a shiny red apple. It has a stem, and a tiny leaf. Notice all of the imperfections on the apple. You can see the discolorations, dimples, maybe a spot or two. See the edging of the leaf and the wood on the stem. Spin it and see how the apple moves, how the imperfections change, and the leaf flutters. If you want, you can pluck the leaf or twist off the stem.

The apple breaks into slices. Now, you can see the inside, the white, the core, and the seeds. Pick up or draw a piece towards you. View it from all angles. You see the apple and if it was really there. You can put it back together, rearrange it, fix it, and watch it fall apart again.

It’s now apple juice inside a glass. Move the glass around and see how the juice moves inside it. Draw it close and smell it, take a sip, taste it, and feel the sensation just like you were drinking a real glass of apple juice.

Now you can do this kind of practice with more than just apples. In Kelden's book The Crooked Path, he describes a great candle visualization. It's all about taking an object or experience and going through the sensations of it. Visualization in witchcraft is more than just seeing. Describe what you can see, feel, smell, etc.

Wow this was a long one. It's pretty late here so hopefully this is all coherent. Please share any techniques or tips I missed!

[angellurgy2]

hi this is a story i dont think i ever posted here where i was fucking around with writing a relatable dissociated victim. its currently unnamed and its about someone having their place in their own head fucked with really bad by some kind of hypnotist esque person.

A void swirls around me. my eyes are blanketed in a deep, ephemeral grayscale sky. stars of red and green and blue scatter around me, mixing together, granting a small beauty through the null. its like space, if it was imagined by a kid with aphantasia who’s never looked into the sky before. i used to love space when i was younger. this wondrous, beautiful extremity of the world, with so much potential. so much to learn, to explore. its awe-inspiring. there is nothing like that to take from this soulful space,  though, for it is not a space in the sense of celestia, but a blank space. an empty fragment, visualized. is this supposed to be my ‘happy place’? i always wanted one of those.

i hear a piercing scream, echoing from the outside i cannot see. i recognize the voice, but i don���t know it. a shaking, grabbing at my form. who are you?  it shouts at me. no one. im sorry. why am i sorry? is that an emotion, if so it might be the first semblance of one ive felt. i think it was more instinctual. sorry, im rambling. rambling to myself? stop apologizing, body. i have a body, huh. i begin to feel, it takes me a while to figure out what, while the shaking continues. oh, those are my legs, i guess? i remember having those. not the tactile sensation, but the existence. i dont think i use them much, they’re worn with cuts and bruises and the whole body aches as it steps onto its feet. i can feel my eyelashes flutter as i peer into the behind of my lids. they well with tears. why am i feeling, stop it. stop it. i don’t want this. i can move my arms again. i don’t like this, put me back. please. please stop touching me. 

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.

not my voice. why does it sound like that. why do i sound like that. that’s not me. please stop? grabbing at me more, feverish touch, groping fingers, rotten. outside of existence.

the police are here. 

nononononono not again. who- why. why. maybe i can run. fuck. the screaming’s inside now. i left it, please dont bring me back. my feet move of their own volition, dragging my desecrated corpse through the halls, out of the depths it hibernates. creaky steps up the wooden stairs, a door unlatching, her faint instructive whispering in my ear, the sound of heavy boots on the porch, i see nothing but noises. 

words slip from my chapped lips, a routine carved into my instincts. “hello officer” i choke out.  “hi sir.” i twitch. take his gun take his gun take his gun take his gun. sigh. its the shame shpeal as always. blah blah we’ve gotten some reports worried for your safety blah blah blah. traitors. they always do this when i disappear. let me die. the lies slip from my tongue so easily. im fine. they’re worried for nothing. i totally ate today yes. the blood stains aren’t fresh. the scars are old. no i dont know who that woman i- wait what woman? some thoughts finally rush to my head, i dont remember having a porch. wasn’t i in a studio? it would’ve been easier to die there what’s going on- a hand reaches into my hair. makes it feel better. yes of course i know “her”. yes i’m happy, can’t you see my smile? :)

I dont know if any of the pigs believe it but they leave without a second thought. fucking cops. pathetic. the lady yells out something nice at them. makes me squirm for a second. something angry bubbles up in the body’s head. i close the eyes and shut it down quick. no use for emotions in a carcass. 

a hand tugs into the hem of my neck. my shirt. forgot i had one of those. forgot those were a thing, honestly. i hope its cute at least. my limp form is pulled backwards through the front door. i almost fall but something else picks us up. i start to lose myself in the greyscale again before the sanctity of my eyelids are forced open, gazing directly into the asynchronatic blue and hazel eyes of an unrecognizable being. i’d say her beauty startled me awake if i wasnt so unsure this is even real.

apparently she was talking the whole time, because now we’re in the living room. i think? i forgot what that’s supposed to look like. her voice now tuned to the ears, i jolt at the sudden audio input. she sees and tilts her head with a mock smile. i think. her eyes glare into me like she’s staring into my absent soul. “Mutt.” 

dizzy. body moving away from me, again. so far. i watch it fall to its knees. fading. i can’t look at myself. she’s just smiling. bark! i feel familiar body spasms but don't see any physical representation. i never thought id miss the bodily prison. bark. bark. tilting its head to the side. my nonexistent hands clench tight. the woman brings her left leg to rest on her right, twirls her finger and we- it rolls over, instantaneously. like its ingrained into its programming. short-circuiting mental wires twist and fray in the head i unassuredly inhabit. pulling, twisting at cords between me and the form, voices berating myself for wanting back in as i thoughtlessly climb. 

her eyes suddenly glare upwards, past my head, almost as if directly into the ‘me’ i can feel. another twisting grin, teethy and sharp. “are you alright, dear?” her voice is malevolence. staring into the sky, she lifts up her hand, causing the body to jump on its hind legs, twirling stupidly. another chuckle slips from her lips, reverberating all around me. “want back in?”  teasing. who does she think she is- who even is she? i growl. not as a dog. she smiles again, and with a snap of her fingers i am slingshotted back into physicality, gasping for air, breathing new air into new lungs. i come out twitching uncontrollably, trying to forget, need to forget, get out of place again. i shut my eyes tight and pretend nothing is real. nothing is real, it cant be. 

tsk tsk. “you’re not getting back out so easily, girl.” she growls, clicking her tongue. she does a quick pulling motion with her hand, and my body is suddenly flung forward with it. leashed. thrown into the armchair beneath her. i throw my hand at her face, without thinking, imprinting a bright red into her skin. i flinch. // add more here //

“who do you think you are, DOG.” she yells, my body wants to curl up into a ball. “i FIXED you, and you don’t even recognize who i am!” she presses and grinds the toe of her leather boot into my legs. into cuts i dont remember existing. i collapse the second pain courses through me. “you need me, girl.”

the air is choked out of me. ripped out exorbitantly. i trudge through the pain, look her in her perverse face and spit. bitch. she digs her boot harder into my leg. i squeal in a pitch i’ve never reached before.

“seems like someone needs some more time alone in her room-” she grins. the body shudders what does she even get from this? pleasure? what has she done to us? me. why is this so different. how can she make me be here? her hand pulling at the collar of my shirt jolts me out of thought. pinprick goosebumps run up my arm. body tics from the disembodied draft in the air. i am forced despite myself, dragged across dirty ceramic floors. i scream. i cry. i hit. i thrash. everything i can muster at once, leads to nothing. i remember the feeling of weight, yet she throws me from the floor into the back of the empty room with no effort. spine stings with anger. careless fucking-

“you’re gonna wish i had kept you disembodied. doll.” she leans against the doorway so non-chalantly. like im not quaking with pain. “i’ll make sure you dont forget this next time, at least.” and she pushes the door. 

i scramble on the floor fighting the pain surging through my joints, clawing at the floorboards to get to the door as it slowly closes. no use. closing, closing, closing, my ragged dirty fingernails almost reach it but fall just short. the last thing i see before the door closes and the darkness takes hold is her twisted, eldritch smile mocking me through the gap.

[my-rewrite-academia]

admittedly not sure which blog to send this too but it is about your rewrite so ig it is fine to send it here? (also not looking for advice im just nosy).

so! what is your process when creating/writing for your rewrite? like how often do you look at the manga or anime for ref, how far in advance do you pre-write the parts, how indepth is your outline/how far into the story does your outline go atm, have you run into roadblocks involving the plot or characters yet, etcetera

Hello!

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This is completely fine, even without the clarification, so don't worry!! Honestly, I wanted to answer this ask as soon as I saw it, but, well, life hit hard. Sorry about that. Anyway! Now to actually answer this...

Honestly, I don't look at the source material too often. I looked at it a lot for the Shouto vs Izuku battle in the Sports Festival, as Horikoshi genuinely did really well with it and I wanted to, sort of, be on even ground with it. Like, I wanted to make sure the character points hit, without making it a one-to-one copy. If I don't change something from canon material, I usually add, 'as in canon', or something among those line.

Really, I only look at the source material for character basis, but even that is few. Outside of centric cast, everyone is really, hm, flat. Either always happy, always calm, or edgy. I believe this to be why characters who go against this, (e.g. Bakugou, Aizawa, Shinsou), are so popular - it offers a new personality type.

For pre-writing, it depends. I don't pre-write entire posts, but I will pre-write specific scenes I know I'll have trouble with. Prime examples being the mini-battles in the King of the Hill game; Mina and Ochako's fight; and the downtime snippets between battles.

My outline is pretty deep, with all the arcs for the first year being completed, and I have a rough idea of how the second and third years will go down, just without all the details. I actually use the 'conclusions' at the end of every posts as my outline notes, which makes it easier for the TL;DRs.

I also have a sheets document for each year planned, with arcs and post numbers at the ready, which I add as I complete more of my outline. This helps me keep track of how much I have left to write for either the arc or the year.

I have most definitely ran into blockages, especially concerning characters who didn't amount to anything in canon. Something I want to do is give each student in 1-A their own, at least, mini-arc, and up the importance of others. After all, I think I can handle more than three characters at once... *cough*Horikoshi*cough*

While I have a general idea of what those arcs will be, I don't know how to intergrate all of them into the story just yet, but I'm working on it. At least, it will be properly planned out by the time it comes around.

Whenever I create a new character or change a character design in any way, (e.g. hero costumes), I tend to sketch it out, either in my sketchbook or clipstudio, whichever I'm more bothered to use, to be honest. As I have aphantasia, this helps me understand how they fit into the world of MHA, and if they would look natural with other canonical characters.

I do have a post here, where I answered a similar ask, though not in nearly as much depth.

I've also been assembling a playlist specifically for this rewrite that I listen to so I can get into 'the mood'. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I do highly recommend creating specific playlists for projects, writing or otherwise. I do this for my other project as well, and it helps a lot to get me locked in.

Also, if you do use this, try making character-specific, scenerio/genre-specfic, and relationship-specific playlists too. So it's not all clashing.

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Thanks for the ask!

[system-positivity]

Hey im not a system, but i have a question (I don't want to ask a pro-endo blog because they'll just say anything goes)

Is it possible to not have a headspace if the system does not have Aphantasia (little to no ability to picture things in their head)?

Just curious, sorry to bother if you dont take questions. I hope your doing well, i saw the discourse. You made your stance very clear and respectful!

Hello anon! Thank you for reaching out, I'll do my best to answer your question. ^^

To my knowledge, it is possible for a system to not have an inner world/headspace. Full stop.

Not every system functions the same, and not every system is going to have the same features, so to speak. Despite not having aphantasia ourselves or knowing those with it, we have known systems that do not experience the common aspects of having an inner world.

Obviously, I'm just a guy on tumblr, I wouldn't take this answer as a Holy Bible of Medical Information or anything. But it is what I know and what I've seen speaking to multiple members of the system community. When in doubt, just remember that every brain, every person, and thus, every system will function differently.

It's, in our personal opinion, never wise to trust pro-endos & endogenic spaces for system questions. In our experience, the answers you tend to get are. "Wellll it's valid >3< so it doesn't matter why that happens! Don't be a bigot, uwu." (The part answering this ask has a. Certain. Dislike for that community and it will, in fact, shine through)

I appreciate you checking in! We're doing well all things considered, we've been extra vilagent on deleting and reporting unnecessary hate, and it has significantly gone down the past few days. I'm hopeful that the people who send such things are.. finally getting the hint. But if not, I'm more than willing to laugh at the entitlement and block. I hope you're also doing well, and if you aren't, that things get better soon. <3

[sergeantjessi]

I'm sorry you're Struggling but if it's any help, my friend with aphantasia once said that it's sometimes helpful cause you don't have anything to compare it to? like, when I draw I have an image in my head and I'm trying to extract it on _paper_ and then I get upset because. the version in my head is very better. vs my friend who gets a final piece once it's done and not before?

hope that made sense sorry agshgs

Thanks for the motivational words o7 Every once in a while I remember that usually people can visualise things on some level and that's when i browse the aphantasia tumblr tag to see other people who agree that this sounds fake /j

I feel like it is a double-edged sword. Most of the time I just have a vague concept which only gets real once I start drawing, so I start most of my drawings with the intention of finding out what something would look like, and therefore not really care about the end product. As long as it matches the words in my head I'm satisfied.

But it also gets so frustrating when I have an exact concept of what I want to draw... But my head just lacks the imagination to picture it and make me draw it. Like this aphantasia-tag browse was inspired by me starting a drawing, and noticing that i just... struggled. With everything. The proportions were off, the perspective didnt make any sense, i'm pretty sure the faces need to get reworked completely too... Simply because i can only start working things like this out once I actually see them in front of me. (Note: I know that people without aphantasia aren't automatically perfect at anatomy & perspective etc. and that they still need to practice and learn. It just feels like those people can at least start at point 0, having a rough image they can work with, meanwhile i start at like -1, and need to actually draw the picture i have no real idea what it should look like. before i can start drawing the "real" picture now that i know what my goal is. Does that make sense??? I just get frustrated sometimes with how much of a trial & error process drawing is for me and how many little side doodles i have to do bc otherwise i can't work out how something is supposed to look like...)

This got way longer than i intended asfghjk SORRYYYY

I'm glad that my aphantasia (usually) doesn't really affect me and idc about it, but from time to time... i get a little frustrated with it. :'D But it also means that every drawing is a surprise to me which is also nice o7

[aphantimes]

Hey, I don't know if it's alright to ask like this, but your mentions of sdam and aphantasia have piqued my curiosity, and I was wondering if you would mind informing me kind of what it is actually like experiencing or not experiencing certain things with them?

I don't know. Just, I guess, are there any particular instances where the difference between what you experience and other people experience stand out, maybe?

Don't feel at all pressured to answer, or to answer any particular way if you do choose to respond.

Sorry if this is at all uncomfortable and for being so awkward with this. I think you are a wonderful person and love your art and stuff. Again, sorry and just feel completely at ease to interpret this how you want.

NEVER FEEL BAD FOR ASKING!!! I love talking about SDAM and aphantasia, so little is known about SDAM especially so very little people talk about it, information is hard to find.

tbh I don't think aphantasia has that big of an effect on me, I don't see it as a big deal anymore. I can conceptualise things fine, I can daydream about characters and scenarios there just aren't "visuals". It can be mildly frustrating to be given "exercises" that involve visualisation while I'm unable to visualise, lol. People that can visualise assume everyone else can. I had a teacher tell me I should imagine myself on stage as like a way to lessen stage fright? He was confused when I said I couldn't do that lol

Drawing tends to be a bit of an exercise of trial and error for me. My sketches look horrendously messy because I have no idea what something will look like before I put the lines down, so a lot of time is spent trying things out to see how they'll look. I don't think I'll ever be able to instantly put down perfect lines with no sketch like I see some artists do online idk how the heck they do that LOL

SDAM I feel has a much larger effect on me. It causes real problems and a lot of embarrassing moments for me. One thing is that a friend had come with my family to arcades multiple times, and one time he had some money left on the card. Months later he wanted to use it up and told me we should meet up at a specific arcade, but I had literally zero memory of him ever being at the arcade he specified. I only ever recalled him at a different arcade, so I thought he misremembered.

I was wrong. We showed up at the arcade I said it must've been with a card meant for a different arcade. I still for the life of me CANNOT remember him ever coming with us to the other arcade. Even my memory of this embarrassing moment is lacklustre. I remember what we tried to play, I remember someone working there saying something along the lines of "oh you can't use that card here", I remember crying out of embarrassment. I'm not "reliving" the embarrassment, I just know the fact that I was embarrassed. All other details are gone.

Another thing from just yesterday. My brother was asking me about the time I went to Funfields, specifically if there were any food stalls. I couldn't tell him because my memory of my trip to Funfields is just, "it was related to my taekwondo lessons. I got lost and ended up with the wrong group." That is literally it. I don't know what ANYTHING looked like. I don't know ANY of what I did. The entire trip is summed up in those two sentences for me. No visuals, no sensations, no emotions.

A lot of expensive trips end up like that for me. I know the fact they happened and maybe one or two specific details and that's it. My trip to Disneyland is just, "I insisted on going on one ride, I acted brave but was shaking when we came out. My mum bought me a mickey ears headband that we forgot at the hotel." I know that the ride I mentioned was in a dark room with projections, but that's the extent of what I can describe. I don't remember any other rides. I don't remember any sounds, smells, sights, anything. Just a couple vague facts.

Comparing my memory to friends and family really shows how lacking mine is. My parent can give these long detailed stories from her childhood of things she did with her friends, and I know I spent time with friends plenty as a kid but I cannot describe anything with the same amount of detail. Dozens of trips to friends houses and sleepovers all blend together and I'm seriously struggling to pick out specific things we might've done. Like seriously I'm racking my brain here and all I can say is that we used to stay up watching shows and we played Just Dance one time. This is years worth of visiting these friends. That's all I can remember of it.

Kinda makes me feel like a bad friend y'know? Years of friendships all blurred together and mostly forgotten. People tend to remember more of me than I do about them.

[limbus-limousine]

Do you have design takes on Kromer, Knauer, Alfons, and Frau Eva. I'm dying to know

Okay first and foremost I apologize because this kind of turned into an essay but like❤️

When it comes to Knauer and Alfons, honestly, I don't have much of a mental image???I have aphantasia, so it's hard for me to imagine appearances from only text and usually stick to specific representations of them, limbus designs are like super ingrained in my mind but I do think of their book descs aswell. Mostly I'd say Knauer would be physically similar to Sinclair to some degree, but their main differences lay on face, eye shape and such. I usually draw Sinclair with round shapes, but then roughen him around the edges a bit (I make his eyes sharper, hands calloused etc). Knauer would look more soggy i think

About Kromer, I always try to make her look bulkier in a way?? Blocky and spiky at the same time if you will. I also love making her sclera a dark greenish hue, it makes her look like an animal being hit by camera flash a bit... I also lean more into her limbus character because I love how much more relevant she feels, I at least try to portray her in a slightly animalistic, scary way, in contrast to Demian with whom I also lean towards animalistic, but more like, sly??? If that makes sense, fox/snake like. Kromer to me is more feline (cat hunts bird uhu) but also insectoid, to represent that while she is scary and such, she lacks Demian's sly mystique and intelligence (in other words, the mark)

As for Eva, I imagine her very similar to Demian (obviously) although in my mind, both of them aren't super defined, the lines are blurry. I think I mentioned this before, but they feel to me like some kind of cryptid. I boost the "creepy/scary" aspect for them a lot, I think because I deeply resonate with Sinclair's more abstract view of love, it reads to me like he finds beauty in the grotesque, and I want to interpret that as nonchalance and even appreciation to something that is outwardly scary. Also going to the whole star symbolism... God, space is scary, but ohh is it beautiful as well.

It doesn't feel completely right to portray them as people sometimes tbh. They are more like masses of light and energy floating around to me. Demian to me represents camaraderie, guidance and a more childish (but still profound) love, while Eva leans more toward the whole mothery love thing, maturity, home, safety. But they are like, two ends of a spectrum?? Sometimes it will be an in-between of those shapes of love and feeling, is it Max or Eva?? Doesn't really matter, they give of the same light, same star... This is why I portray Demian differently as well, sometimes I will make his hair longer, face a bit older looking, etc.

IM SORRY this is really rambly and super long auughgg😭 I'm not very clear with specific design aspects but the way I see them psychologically really influences how I draw them... Thanks for the ask anyways!!! I love talking about these freaks mannn

[sophieinwonderland]

(Same Anon previously taking about ND and mental illness, not at you again, sorry just don’t have a account that’s out as plural yet and don’t wanna have my first posts on it to be this sort of thing)

1. using AI over view is not a good source AT ALL, because it will take from ANY place on the internet, not necessarily any sort of actual credible places.

And

2. Theirs a difference between Neurodivergence having mental illnesses UNDER it, and them being synonymous, their are many types of ND that aren’t mental illnesses, but mental illnesses are under it. I am not saying that everyone who’s ND has a mental illness. (E.g. someone with hyperphantasia/aphantasia is ND, but doesn’t necessarily have a mental illness)

it’s called being a umbrella term.

(Example: Ace people are queer, not all queer people are ace. Me saying that Ace people are queer is not the same as saying that all queer people are ace.)

The definition of neurodivergent is “a nonmedical term that describes people whose brains develop or work differently for some reason.” (There’s a few definitions, most are something similar to this, I got it from: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent) ND is MADE to be a all encompassing term that includes a wide range of things, if your brain works differently from the norm in ANY way, than you are ND, and that includes mental illness.

The reason people don’t tend to consider them “ND” is because it was coined for Autism,ADHD,etc but it’s not just them, and I feel limiting it to those things when there’s so many other ways for peoples brains to work differently is.. short sighted, brain differences shouldn’t just include stuff that ‘could’ have a positive, it should include the wide range of things that are only seen as “bad” by people.

It should include people with Depression, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, BPD, NPD.

Agreed on all of this!

Not much to add here other than to say, on the AI source, that Google AI can be REALLY bad at hallucinating and giving incorrect information. There's an entire subreddit dedicated to AI fails that covers this.

Here's a recent example someone shared on that sub:

I believe AI has a lot of applications, but accurate information in searches is not one of them.

[multiplicity-positivity]

A positivity shout-out post for systems who do not have inner worlds or those who have aphantasia but can sense alters and the inner worlds? Like a conceptual world but it works just like those who can see images in the mind? Or maybe systems who can only see their alters in dreams but not when they're awake, etc. etc. I hope it makes sense! Please and thank you!

hey, this request is a bit too complex for us, sorry about that. we do have a positivity post for systems with aphantasia though:

along with a post for systems with little to no inner world:

and we also have a post for introjects from dreams. maybe that could work for you?

if you could reword your request in a way that’s a bit more succinct, we may be able to complete this request? but for now we’re turning it down as it seems too complex for us. so sorry about that.

[pieces-of-roses]

Scrying with a mirror - Part 1

Introduction of the series

When people start their divination journey, most of the times they start out with oracle or tarot. These are the most common divination techniques - and those, that have a good structure, as each card has a fixed basic meaning.

But at one point on your journey, you might hear or read the word scrying.

I could start out with all the basics around scrying now, but just let me give you a short definition of it:

Scrying is basically an intuitional way of divination, where you use a surface or element to see forms and shapes, that you gonna have to interpret.

Easy, right?

And that is the problem. When reading this definition, you have clear ideas on how scrying should look like and how to it should work. You maybe gonna expect to see full HD pictures or clear shapes. Yay!

But uhm. Nah. Sorry. Grab that expectation, walk to the trash bin and throw your expectations away.

Done that? Perfect! Now let's move to what you can await in this tumblr for next weeks!

About this series:

This series shall help the readers to understand, what scrying with a mirror (or a crystal ball) can look like.

This series gonna consist of different around 1-3 minute readings about small parts of the how to do - and maybe on how to DIY one yourself!

I also might add links to other helpful tumblr and youtube posts to get a deeper understanding of different basics.

This series is about >my< experiences. Yours can look truly different to mine!

Having said that, I want to give a short reminder: while this method definetely has a lot of sources, my main sources are my experience and a few youtube videos. Absolutely fine for me, but I am sure, I never invented the wheel anew.

I am a chaos witch. For me, that means to get a lot of trial and error. Especially around divination, I happen to go into stuff without reading about the stuff for weeks. I am just trying it out, facing a problem, ban the method for a few days and then find out my problem.

There are awesome sources. Absolutely. But man, my brain wants that trial and error.

But that also leads to not many sources besides my own experience. And while I absolutely did my job on learning about the safety with a mirror, I forgot some of the ressources. Oopsie. But for real, guys:

do your research on proper protection! Just do it.

I do have aphantasia (sometimes less, sometimes worse), so people with that condition might have fun with this series. We all are in the same boat, and small appetizer here: scrying is more than seeing. So even those with the worst aphantasia could have a good result with scrying.

I hope, some gonna follow me on that journey. Feel free to always comment, criticize or give any other feedback!

Uhm yeah. I need a good bye-sentence. Uhm.

Byeeee! ^^"

[sugarepoxy]

@leafatlaw WISH GRANTED

If we're talking jay headcannons, here are some of my favorites:

When jay laughs she usually wheezes like crazy; this prompts more laughter from the rest of the crew because of how silly it sounds

She teaches gillion about space and stars some nights on the boat and every once in a while chip joins in and tells gill about the little bits of mythology he knows surrounding them (wich he learned from finn)

She has doctor handwriting

Jay and Ava used to braid each others hair as they fell asleep, and now jay is teaching Gill how to braid his own hair

Also i have A TON of headcannons for gill and chip, so here are some of those too:

Chip makes up outrageous lies when people ask how he got any of his scars

The way Arlin laughs rubbed off on chip and his laugh is also really hearty and deep-ish

Chip burnt all of his fingerprints off on a dare

Chip's handwriting is chickenscratch and almost completely illegible

Chip is VERY prone to laughing and gigglin. Half the time his gigglin is what gives him away when hes doing stealthy crime

Gill learned swears from Chip

Gill is SUPER attached to his hair and refuses to cut it because in the undersea he was forced to keep it chin length

Gill has long and sharp nails, almost like talons

Gill has scars that have been on him for ages, like since he was 10 years old

Gill can't write or read common, and jay and chip are trying to teach him

common is gill's second language, primordial being his first

Gill has aphantasia

Gillion learned rhythm and beats and basic music concepts from edyn before the elders stopped him from seeing her. In his training, gill would try and move/attack to a beat he made up in his head. He would constantly daydream about music and make up different tunes in his head

Gill is always unknowingly tensed up as his "relaxed" position

And finally, here are some NPC headcannons:

Niklaus gets ahold of the anti-Niklaus propaganda and he PROUDLY shows it off in his pocket dimension. Like he even makes "say no to Niklaus" merch for himself

Ollie still has stretch marks from when he big

Jay, chip, and queen workshop with gillion and make little tunes and shanties in their downtime

Edyn is EXTREMELY fucking tall. She absolutely towers over everyone

Ollie weaves and he makes bracelets out of handmade beads and he draws and he fills up sketchbooks with little doodles of himself and his mom and the pirates and his mom hangs his drawings up on the fridge. He also has a small business of making baskets for townsfolk in zero (sorry abt the run on sentence in this one lmao)

Ollie loves to braid his hair because the captains taught him how

I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS MASS AMOUNT OF BRAINROT :D i love when people ask abt my headcannons so i took the opportunity and RAN

[maryellencarter]

saw a post go by that was like "stop talking about how clearly you can visualize an apple, all imaginations are good" and like

are people assigning moral values to levels of aphantasia now? like i could believe it on this webbed site but...

...i don't know, it really bugs me when someone (apparently) tries to shut down chatter about How We Are Different with "those are all good ways to be though"? Like. I'm sorry you lack curiosity about the wondrous variety of human existence and the ways that other people experience it