#sorry to my followers who did not follow me for this š
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kwisifiisidz OMG Reading this through the sickness of my body is insane !! you left me breathless Nini with this one ?? i'm always such a fan of your writings but this ??? it was so much beautiful in a way i can't describe. i love this type of angst so much and i'm just so sad about it ! i read this like i'm listening to a sad song :(( wow wow wow ššš
you were in no means ready to see him, let alone work with your ex-fiancĆ©e again. you knew heād been stealing glances at you while you all trek your way through the sandy dunes of the coast of morocco, but you were strong enough to keep yourself from looking back and meeting his gaze. āalready at the beginning and i know it's gonna ate
"are you serious?" were the first words you'd tell him in a year. he pulled out a wad of cash and his passport from his belt bag. "that's like, hundreds of dollars, rafe! you could've fed your sister!" he turns to look at you, piercing blue eyes burning holes through your soul. "listen, my only job was to get you pogues to morocco. no more, no less. if you don't wanna get lost, you gotta follow me, I'm your best bet," "as if," you roll your eyes, "we're in the same boatāno pun intendedābut, you are also in a different country," he pulls you into his chest with one arm, whispering in your ear, "yeah? but guess who has the money? guess who actually has defense skills. not you, huh?" ā this whole scene because it was incredible. this is so accurate to me please šš
this day felt like years. after an extensive search for groff, you'd finally found him. you rode on the back of the motorcycle rafe stole, holding onto his waist. you couldn't help but have your mind flashback to your last motorcycle ride with him, still on kildare, on the way to courthouse to get marriage documents. his cologne hadnāt changed either. you remembered how his cologne lingered on every article of your clothing. you knew heād been about it too from the way his body tensed up. ā the bittersweet feelings of the old relationship š
gentle hands hold your face, "rafe, you can't save me, I'm sorry," you feel a warmness fill your body. "no, no, I can, we can get you to a hospital! stay with me-" you cough again, louder this time, "no, its impossible," he curses under his breath, before shouting to the sky. he embraces you, your voice getting weaker by the second, "hey rafe? can you tell me about our best memories? like...during our relationship?" your voice was barely a whisper now. ā YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME NINI ??? IT'S WILD.
he nods, voice barely steady as he begins to talk, "we had a lot of good memories, but my favorite was our last summer, where we were gonna get married in the fall. I shouldn't have cheated, I'm so sorry," he sobs onto your shoulder, "remember when all we did was go surfing? and I taught you how to ride those big swells 'cus you were too scared...and...how we were gonna move out of kildare after we got married? we were gonna move to colorado, live that white picket fence type of life," he bitterly chuckles, "I screwed up, I screwed us, and I'm so, so, sorry. If I could rewind time, just to feel your lips on mine again, just to hear you laugh, just to have you look at me with so much love, I would. I'd make sure you were never under this situation." your mind replayed all of those memories, and with shaky hands, you pull him in for one last kiss, pulling back to say your last words, āI never stopped loving you, rafe,ā before letting your body finally succumb to your injury. ā i'm just falling in love (again) with your writings at this point. it was like an amazing poem. tysm for this one, for sharing with us. i'm feeling unwell but so glad to be able to read this one āØ
okay season 4 rafe where they broke up and shes a kook turned pouge, and its just a bunch of angst and basically all of s4 with her?
our last summer - rafe cameron x reader
synopsis - he wishes he could've had one last summer with you
warnings - angst, kook turned pogue!reader, mentions of cheating, (slight) sofia slander (I love her tho!!), stabbing, character death
you were in no means ready to see him, let alone work with your ex-fiancĆ©e again. you knew heād been stealing glances at you while you all trek your way through the sandy dunes of the coast of morocco, but you were strong enough to keep yourself from looking back and meeting his gaze.
your main priority was sarah, who you could tell was getting queasy from the amount of activity sheād been doing these past couple of days. once you saw the skyline of a city, your ounce of optimism returned.
around a year ago, youād been happily engaged to who you thought was the love of your life, rafe cameron. after youād found a tank top that wasnāt yours in your shared bedroom, youād knew he was seeing someone else, but you didnāt expect that someone to be your own best friend, sofia.
you had followed the pogues to morocco after what groff had done to jj. you were willing to follow them to the ends of the earth, never leave a pogue behind, john b's words echo in your head.
you were sitting with sarah, rubbing her back while the rest of the group went to go get some food for her. rafe was mumbling incoherent sentences, something he always did while pissed off or annoyed, and you tried your best to ignore his complaints. "you okay?" you softly spoke up, sarah meekly nodded her head in response.
you hear the shout of multiple voices, turning around to see the rest of the group running towards you. you stood up, dumbfounded as the moroccan authorities chase your friends. already? one of them apprehends you, and you writhe at their grip. you plead to them, but its no use. you turn around, seeing rafe also getting held up. the rest of the pogues were nowhere to be found. as long as they got each other, they're safe.
after a quick interrogation, the authorities let you both go. you let out a huff, not only because you were falsely accused, but because you're now stuck with your ex-lover, in a foreign country.
"are you serious?" were the first words you'd tell him in a year. he pulled out a wad of cash and his passport from his belt bag. "that's like, hundreds of dollars, rafe! you could've fed your sister!" he turns to look at you, piercing blue eyes burning holes through your soul. "listen, my only job was to get you pogues to morocco. no more, no less. if you don't wanna get lost, you gotta follow me, I'm your best bet," "as if," you roll your eyes, "we're in the same boatāno pun intendedābut, you are also in a different country," he pulls you into his chest with one arm, whispering in your ear, "yeah? but guess who has the money? guess who actually has defense skills. not you, huh?" he shoves you out of his arms, making you stumble backward. you scoff, following him through the crowded streets.
"you look nice," a slight smile dawned on his face as one of the store clerks helped you wrap your scarf around your hair. you both had changed into more neutral colored outfits to help blend in. "hold on" you see rafe turn to a stand that's selling phones. you impatiently tap your foot as he dials a couple of numbers in. you follow closely, wanting to find out who needed his attention so badly.
your heart clenched as you heard another female voice, quickly realizing that it was sofia. of course, why wouldn't he call his girlfriend? now, you distanced yourself from him, looking at the floor as you drag your feet along the dirt, getting your shoes dusty.
this day felt like years. after an extensive search for groff, you'd finally found him. you rode on the back of the motorcycle rafe stole, holding onto his waist. you couldn't help but have your mind flashback to your last motorcycle ride with him, still on kildare, on the way to courthouse to get marriage documents. his cologne hadnāt changed either. you remembered how his cologne lingered on every article of your clothing. you knew heād been about it too from the way his body tensed up.
you shake your head, he probably does that with sofia now. you sniffle, hoping the sound of the engine would muffle it. rafe pulls off to the side of the road, stopping at a well. you use this time to regain your distance from him, stretching from the long ride. "is that it?" you point to the city down the cliff, squinting your eyes. groff looks at the map, nodding his head. you see the two men bent over the well, and you shuffle to see what they were looking at. "...good thing hollis and I paid off that girl...what was her name? sonya? oh, sofia!" you see rafe's face twist. you kneel down in front of the well, next to groff, "what are you talking about?" "its really none of your business," he retorted.
what happens next is a blur, groff pulls out a knife, attempting to stab rafe. rafe's reflexes work in record-time, but it was a horrible decision to try to help him at this moment. as groff attempts to defend himself, you feel the blade go into your stomach. you let out a sharp gasp, after seeing groff get shoved down the well, you collapse, rafe gracing your fall. "hey, hey, y/n, stay with me, please," his voice cracks as be sits you down on the side. he holds your wound, and you let out a painful groan. his eyes widen. he still calls out for help, desperation lacing his voice. "no one can hear you," you cough.
gentle hands hold your face, "rafe, you can't save me, I'm sorry," you feel a warmness fill your body. "no, no, I can, we can get you to a hospital! stay with me-" you cough again, louder this time, "no, its impossible," he curses under his breath, before shouting to the sky. he embraces you, your voice getting weaker by the second, "hey rafe? can you tell me about our best memories? like...during our relationship?" your voice was barely a whisper now.
he nods, voice barely steady as he begins to talk, "we had a lot of good memories, but my favorite was our last summer, where we were gonna get married in the fall. I shouldn't have cheated, I'm so sorry," he sobs onto your shoulder, "remember when all we did was go surfing? and I taught you how to ride those big swells 'cus you were too scared...and...how we were gonna move out of kildare after we got married? we were gonna move to colorado, live that white picket fence type of life," he bitterly chuckles, "I screwed up, I screwed us, and I'm so, so, sorry. If I could rewind time, just to feel your lips on mine again, just to hear you laugh, just to have you look at me with so much love, I would. I'd make sure you were never under this situation." your mind replayed all of those memories, and with shaky hands, you pull him in for one last kiss, pulling back to say your last words, āI never stopped loving you, rafe,ā before letting your body finally succumb to your injury.
taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt @littlelamy @rafeeekam @xcinnamonmalfoyx
#oh nini when i catch you i swear...#tw stabbing & death#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#s4!rafe x female!reader
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I watched Charlie MoistCritikalās video on the Watcher drama and he definitely has some good insight considering he runs a company that helps creators get sponsorships, and finding out that with their subscriber & view counts they probably get $15,000-$30,000 per ad read was like the final nail in the coffin for me. So they make $100k a month on patreon + an ad read a week + ad revenue + merch sales? Maybe slow down on making new shows. Cultivate what you have. Maybe remaking worth itā¦ isnāt worth it.
(Charlieās video is good if you want some deeper insight into the creator economy)
#sorry to my followers who did not follow me for this š#just interesting events and decisions being made by a channel I enjoy in my free time#watcher#watcher entertainment
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ALEX THE LIONā¦WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAAARā¦.!?
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So I may have rewatched the Madagascar movies with my family (they are waaay more funny than I remember imo) and fallen in love with the Ben Stiller lionā¦his design is just š©š
I love how they push the designs to be super geometric and stylized, but they still look and move like animals and not just humans in furry costumes (no hate, Iām a Sonic fan Iām in no position to judge lmao) Anyways the colors on Alex especially are amazing, 10/10 lion design
#sorry to those who follow me for clone high š#how did i get here#everyone is either reading book of bill or celebrating the shadow trailer and Iām over here drawing freaking MADAGASCAR#that was not in my bingo card#but I canāt help it Alex is just way too much fun to draw omg#fanart#my art#roxi's art#lions#madagascar#madagascar movie#alex the lion#I donāt think Madagascar has a fandom tbhā¦.#digital art#artists on tumblr#procreate#screencap redraws#dreamworks#Madagascar fanart
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not enough people are horny about classical music can we please all collectively go listen to some classical music and get a little turned on by it. please. please. please.
#on my hands and knees begging......#im sooooo normal about classical music I did not understand the appeal before when I was actually in classical orchestra#but I get it now. I see the light.#god sorry everyone who followed me for art and now has to hear me talk about my untoward feelings for classical music š
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the fans (my wife and i on call) are dying to know: how do you pronounce aivide?
its /aÉŖ'vid/ if the two of you are international phonetic alphabet enjoyers! if that isnāt helpful, itās eye-VEED, rhymes with āguy weedā
#asks#also thank you for your comment on chapter two when people analyze The Form of my writing it is straight up my favorite thing in the world#followers who regularly use the ipa / know it better than me Iām sorry if I did it wrong š
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ā¾ļø!
shuffle said āyour apartmentā by wallows!!
Who said / I donāt understand or that I probably donāt remember / Time in the palm of your hand / we both let go together
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Whoās been tryinā to get their signal sent? / I promise I get your sentiment / I wonder whoās been at your apartment?
not like. lyrically the greatest song but i love that thereās a storyline that runs through the first few songs of the album and the ways they reference each other (you called me over to your apartment, whose signal sent? -> you can call me anytime -> i know youāre calling after me). shout out also to the pre-chorus pauses for questionable punctuation and interpretation because itās one of my favorite things when the inflection and performance can change the meaning of the lyrics!!
#thank you š„°š„° this is such a fun ask game (even if i did want to skip through and cheat for better lyrics lol)#shout out to signal sender by RMCM which is really why i love that trying to get their signal sent lyric ashdjshak#liv in the replies#moregraceful#AND IT WAS WHEN I WENT ON GENIUS LYRICS AND CLICKED WHO WAS SINGING THE CHORUS THAT I LEARNED LYDIA AND DYLAN BROKE UP?????????? for real??#lydia i have already held your hand once i promise i would be so good at it all the time#thereās no way. thereās no way??? actually i take that back it was definitely samia who just released a sappy love song weāre so on.#but like??? i thought she was pulling another āpulling leaves off of treesā type of reference with the ācall me on the telephoneā#in something magic which came out RIGHT after model dropped and so much of it references phone calls??? help iām tangled in the phone wires#anyway.#this is not on my fic playlist but it should be because of the āi wonder whoās been at your apartmentā with guys getting tradedā¦ thoughts.#OH MY GOD WNDJHISJWP SORRY TO SWAYMARK FOR CREATING A TERRIBLE NARRATIVE BUT YOUR APARTMENT FOR THEM FOLLOWING PLEASER?? & THE LINUS TRADE?#somehow you got diagnosed with wallows by my Spotify which is so funny because itās not a band i associate with you like. at all š
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guys i'm scared i think xiangling is following me
#dusty adventures#genshin impact#i did 4 multis ok. in one of them i got sara (?) who is ALSO C6#not a single lynette?? C34 xiang???#i won the 5050 but at what cost??? šshe is going to follow me into my dreams istg#IM SORRY I DONT USE U IN NATIONAL XIANG!! IM SORRY PLS DON'T COOK ME
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Confession that will get me cancelled: I will sometimes reference super mario logan videos cuz I used to watch some. and they were honestly really funny if you ignored the problematic bits.
#I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE. but some of those jokes have stuck with me for years.#UNIRONICALLY THE EPISODES HAD A REALLY GOOD FORMULA. LIKE WTF.#Iām not getting over the episode where they were gonna fail the test but Cody let them copy his test#and then the teacher said āyou did really great Cody!ā he said āI got an A?ā the teacher said āyeah on all 3 of them!ā#āYOU IDIOTS COPIED MY N A M E TOO?????ā bro that was hilarious ššš#also the episode where Junior believed the Sun was a planet. bro. the plot twist that they sent him to the sun not because they believed him#but because they thought a kid stupid enough to believe you could land on the sun deserved to be sent to it ššš WTFF#there are some episodes I remembered really liking but I donāt remember why#and as much as Iād like to rewatch them Iā¦ donāt think I canā¦ā¦..#I think if I went to rewatch old SML videos Iād be shot#also the journey to find the specific episodes would probably be a disaster#anyways that is my confession. I do not support SML or the problematic things in the episodes I liked.#it was just genuinely really funny and clever sometimes. unfortunately. I only watched it cuz my siblings did. side note all the special ed#kids in highschool loved it and I was confused cuz I was also a special ed kid who had seen it like. how did this ableist bs gain such an#autistic following. Iām telling you itās because the episode formulas were actually really good. this sucks. I wish it wasnāt so problematic
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me right after a new milgram song drops trying to assign it to one of my ocs
#spoiler alert: i have. no idea who could get double in s3.#literally no idea.#i'm actually already working on everyone's future covers and i'm like. ASSIGNING EVERYONE THE SAME S1 AND S2 SONGS SURE IS HARD HDJSDKSKSLD#i mean. mayyyyybe. maybe yurika?? she already got meme like it's okay queen i'm sure you'd do great#or mayyyyyybe. maybe shun?... though i am not. sure#OH UH i remember the tags on his t2 vd mentioning a theory about him having did and#honestly? THAT IS LIKE. TOTALLY UP TO INTERPRETATIONGBHFJSKSDKLSD#like. this is so funny to me bc i wrote shun's memory problems based on my own memory problems and was like#āhaha he has no specific illness or anything <3ā and uh.#if you don't follow my main. uh. the thing is. my therapist is pretty sure i'm a system š#SO YES THIS IS HILARIOUS TO ME IT'S LIKE. SURE I GUESS. I ACCIDENTALLY MADE HIM DID-CODED JSJDKSKDKD#okay okay sorry for rambling!!#š±linagram timeline š±
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I love ffxiv i love the community but man is some of it seeped in misogyny
#YES im looking at ppl who love emet-selch but hate hydaelyn#you love the guy who invented facism but as soon as hydaelyn did what she knew was predetermined by literal time travel laws....#like dont get me wrong i love all the ascians as characters (theyre my favs!) but likem#bro. just say you hate women š#āshe sundered so many people :(ā#bro the ascians killed ENTIRE PLANETS š#like. they invented racism. ššš#please use ur brain#love.txt#SORRY I JUST. HYDAELYN SLANDER WHILE LOVING THE ASCIANS MAKES ME PEEVED#if u dont like what she did thats Fine but at Least dont turn around and suck ascian dick#this isnt abt anyone i follow i just like looking at hydaelyn art and its like aur naur
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You know in fandom when you follow people solely because their interests are so far away from your own itās just fascinating to see what the other side of the fandom is doing? I wonder how many people I am that follow for sometimes
#sometimes I see people who follow me with like#mv33 fa? op? in their bio and Iām like.#what is a bear doing in Arlington Texas??#love and LIGHT as long as you donāt hate Pierre welcome to my little corner of the internet#but Iām always shocked like. what do I do for uš#no I did not bother to look up their race numbers sorry.#you get the jist
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#sorry to any recent ghira///link enjoyers#happens about once every 2-3 years#we are on the 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' website what more can we expect#i feel kinda bad that I'm wary of anyone who likes Ghirahim now tbh. guilty until proven innocent but the block button offers no second try#sometimes I see friends/mutuals reblog from blogs I know to be Fucking Weird about them but like. i don't say shit!! i don't fucking care#mind your own business and I'll mind mine#I do hate that blocking isn't like. completely block. i can still see if someone reblogs from someone I've blocked/they blocked me#it's funny to figure out though when I try to reblog and it goes oops! your connection doesn't work :( sorry!#ngl a couple of times I've been like. did i accidentally block my own side blog š#tumblr stop being a coward and just straight up tell me. I'm from more cows than people county my connection never works š#and with the whole bot seige I did accidentally block people who were real š sorry lmao#vagueposting#yeah. this is pretty vague. iykyk don't hmu. real ones only (said like an emo teen on Snapchat)#ALSO I'm sure the people directly involved have dealt with this before I'm directing this to the unfortunate few who followed me#for something other than zelda and ended up sucked into this. sorry xoxoāļø
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cannot explain how uncomfortable and like. lowkey unsafe it makes me feel to see someone openly express like. "i feel so loved by god!" kinda sentiment. Immediate activation of something in my brain. cultivating your online experience is so important and freeing (i unfollow people without hesitation for that </3). not cause (christian) religion itself is inherently bad (i believe that it is but that's my own business not anyone else's) but like. i Cannot have that in my space. oh my god.
#yeah i talk about religion all the time! and i'm sure some of the poetry/writing i reblog ab religion is made with genuine sentiment#but i Cannot see people talking about the love of god without feeling a little. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.#at the point of 'maybe miffy was right about Babe That Is Religious Trauma' š#anyway christians who followed me for the saint quiz. hi. that's fine ig. please do not expect God Loving Content from me dgkfjhs#person who sent in an ask ab talking w/ the inclusion of being catholic.... sorry. i just cannot answer that though.#like i just Can't be friends with christians. not like that.#when it's someone i know and like and i find out they're religious but chill that's still iffy#but when someone makes catholicism like. a Hinge of who they are. that's just no good for my brain. puts a wall up.#nothing that u did i just don't have an answer to ur ask that will be satisfying to either of us + sound sufficiently kind#anyway. rambling. using tumblr as my diary etc. etc. just need to get the thoughts out tonight#saw someone i followed reblog a post about feeling loved and cherished by god or smth and it rattled me š#the body will do the silliest things in a Physical Response to religious stimuli#valentine notes
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AVA PLAYLIST IS SO HER !!!
THANKYOU IM SO GLAD <3<3<3
(link)
#I WAS LIKE LOWKEY WORRIED AS HELL N THEN ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO FOLLOWS ME ON SPOTIFY WAS LIKE#āYou did yo shit on that sorry I donāt speak line playlistā#N SO I DECIDED MAY AS WELL SHARE LMAO#was not gonna share it till waaaaaayyyyy later bc i like ordering the songs in a way so they flow well into eachother#pero the playlist is like two hours long so its been taking SO long š#ava coleman#abbott elementary#queries#mi musica
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#peepsona#releasing this from my drafts since its mochizuki monday and also. my bday lol#THOUGH I DID NOT MAKE THIS idk where its from exactly my brother sent it to me#fun fact this was gonna be originally the post i was gonna rb 50+ times in a row to indicate my unwellness#but the good morning ryoji gif was much funnier lmao.#ALSO THIS IS SO GOOD TO POST NOW BC 1) not only mochizuki monday and my birthday but 2) SPEAKING OF MY BIRTHDAY#MY BROTHER FUCKING GOT ME THIS PLUSH IRL AS A PRESENT FUCKAINGDJFK AHAH HAH HAH AAAAAAA!!!!!!#i have to wait until october to see him cause im. not home rn lmfao š BUT NO FUCKING WAY. HE IS MINE NOW HAHAAHAAAAAA#AND ITS A LEGIT ONE TOO screaming#when i get my hands on him its so over the ryojiposting will get worse. im so sorry everyone who didnt follow me for this shit LOL#im gonna rb some more things before mochizuki monday is over in my timezone and also bc fuck man i deserve distraction#sprained my fucking ankle ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAYYY ARE U KIDDING ME. i just hope it gets better tomorrow man. save me ryoji plush save me
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Officially switched over to this account on mobile also.. exciting. Previously was only logged into my aforementioned account with 1) a personal blog with a few irls on it that I posted on liiiike once a month and 2) my fandom blog, which is why itās a group blog and canāt receive DMs. I also only FOLLOWED a few irls on there and nobody else. And then I had a Tumblr web bookmark on my phone š that I labelled āTumblr 2ā and used to check THIS account. Why? Idk ask 12th grade me
#ellyposting#technically it was post-12th grade#I made my first blog at a high school graduation party lol#to be fair I wasnāt hiding away on my phone or anything#we were all discussing Tumblr and they told me to make an account#so I did but never followed any of them (except my best friend who was also there) š#ahem sorry. rambling bc Iām procrastinating on writing#what else is new š
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