#sorry this took seventeen years to write omg

[marshmallowprotection]

Hii, could you please clarify the timeline for the whole v and rika twin meeting and such? Like their age differences.. and specifics of how it all came together bc if there’s anything that confuses me more than certain dramatizations for this games story, it’s definitely the details of the timeline😭. Like at first Rikas official age was 23.. then it was changed to like I think 28 was calculated in the wiki..? Uhmmm… plus V’s age gap with Saeyoung isn’t even THAT big.. it’s like 5 years, no?? When did these people meet… Ive been a player since 2016, so a lot of dlc’s or secret endings I played have left my memories super fuzzy as I replay this game but omg. It’s so confusing to me ab Rika and V’s ages when they met, how long they’d been together as they ‘rescued’ or attempted to bring salvation to the twins by becoming their guardians without a legal procedure (which was understandable for their case bc of prime minister… i guess?). They’re made out to be these parent figures to saeyoung and saeran but idk kinda hard when they aren’t that much older.. or maybe it’s more than that and I just can’t really come to terms w how they’re portrayed cuz it’s such an icky feeling knowing how it plays out in the end for them when they entrust these people with their safety and full trust only to later have it crushed 💔💔 UGHH. sorry I kinda made this too long. I read a lot of rants before writing this, haha…. The twins story makes my heart ache a lot.

Rika's age is all the place. Do not try to gauge Rika's age or you will cry yourself to sleep. Her official age in the RFA Package was listed down as twenty-three at the time of her death.

However, there are many factors that lead people to believe she's older and it has everything to do with Rika Behind Story and as most people don't bother to read it, they're not aware of why things appear to make her seem older than what she was officially stated to be at debut.

tldr; CHERITZ RETCONS A LOT.

Rika fights her church and family over Sally when she is sixteen years old. Two years pass and she sees V's debut photography on display in a gallery. He is about seventeen at the time as mentioned. Another year passes and she meets Saeyoung Choi, which means she meets him when she's about nineteen years old and he is twelve years old.

Saeyoung comes to the church at an irregular rate, but she spends her time talking to him and helping him learn about math and other such subjects during this time. We can assume that since Saeyoung left his brother at around the age of fourteen or fifteen, that he had a few years with Rika before she encountered Jihyun Kim in the flesh. She also met with Yoosung for the first time during those years.

Her adoptive mother mentions during this time period that she will throw Rika and Sally out in two years since she won't be obligated to do so after that. The legal age in the Republic of Korea is nineteen, so I'm not quite sure why they would let Rika stay with them behind that since she would've already been an adult here, but hey, as far as I am aware of, she had a kick-out date of twenty-one.

She took Saeyoung to an exhibition that held multiple different works, he ran off to a science showing and Rika ran into Jihyun. That's the start of their partnership since it begins as an artist and model before it becomes romantic.

He takes her in as a model at first, but then their relationship builds into something more than that. She was kicked out after two months of doing work for V, so I can only assume she's turned twenty-one at this point.

He comes to her church to find her after her adoptive mother told him that she'd run off. Rika reveals a lot to him after that, talking to him about her demons, her fears, and more. They grow closer, and during that time, while the details we already know about the two of them dating, they were also trying to help Saeyoung and his brother.

So, if Rika was nineteen when she met Saeyoung and he was twelve, that means there is a seven year age-gap between those two. If V is meant to be seventeen when Rika is eighteen, that means he's about one year younger than she is. Which means, when Rika and V come together to help the twins, she's about twenty-one years old, give or take, and Jihyun is twenty, give or take. Which means that Saeyoung is fourteen.

He goes into the Agency at around the age of fourteen or fifteen. We know that he does some jobs on the side before he's pulled into that damn agency, so I work with the assumption that he's fifteen by the time they yank him overseas to study computer science.

Jihyun mentions in a phone call during Saeran's After Ending that he met someone who worked for the agency who convinced him that it would be safe for Saeyoung in the agency... and he believed it. That's tough to think about, you know? As someone who started this game back in 2016 when I was younger than Yoosung by a year, I just can't imagine being in Rika or V's position.

Yes, you're an adult at twenty and twenty-one but my God, there are so many experiences you've got ahead of you in your early twenties that by the time you get to the other end, you see that time as being a tall child. The me at those ages would not know how to help those twins, much less myself.

If Saeyoung is 21 in Casual and Deep Story, that means Rika would've been 28.

Where this can get perplexing is the fact that Jihyun is supposed to 26, which is two years younger than Rika, while some of this math is implied to state that there should only be a year between the two of them.

[oldcoronas]

it is cold. that is your first thought, clinical. you are outside your body, looking on as the bubbling stone of your own creation slips over your arm. it is graceful, almost, this amber-colored chemical sliding up over your hand. it froze into stone on contact, and you thought, at first, you could just slip out of it, like a glove. 

go back. maybe you can work this one out. your brother’s steady fingers betraying him, you bumping against his side as he went to pour a drop onto the black stones that rose up in the middle of your workshop, in the casual way you shared space in your workshops, your laboratories. in retrospect, you probably shouldn’t have made so much of a chemical you didn’t understand. you ducked to lift the beaker from the stone, still with chemical sloshing inside, chemical dripping down all over the floor. you set it on the worktable and when you looked back at your brother this bubbling mass rose above his neck, inches from flesh. your cry filled up the close, stuffy air as you pushed him to the side, watched him tumble. you were almost out of reach when it snagged your hand.

and now it clamps down around your fingers and try as you might you cannot get it free. it is freezing, and your whole hand is trapped. a claustrophobic terror rises within you. you are trapped ———— trapped !  ———— trapped !  your whole body strains against it. it is holding you so tight you can’t slip your hand through the glove and into the open air. you are cursing, free hand around your wrist, while it rises ——— shit, shit, shit !  you look to your brother with pleading eyes.  “ what do we do ?  ”   you ask, a child, still.

@alchemt

[constant-creative-chaos]

Dancing with mha characters

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

kiri would ask you out of the blue, you two would probably be hanging out in his dorm one night and he’d just ask

like “baby, dance with me? 🥺”

he’d have his arms around you’re waist ofc, and he’d lay your head against his chest so you can hear his heart beat

he isn’t a good dancer but it’s all good, as long as you’re happy then he’s happy to dance with you

he wouldn’t do much other than sway, considering his poor skills

but he’d definetly him along to the songs

speaking of the songs, he’d probably play really cheesy love songs because he’s like that

laughs everytime either he or you messes up, he finds it amusing

ends up goofing off more towards the end

rating: 100/10, in conclusion, i love kirishima

you sat on kirishima’s bed, stretched out comfortably. your back against his headboard and his head in your lap, your fingers scratching gently against his scalp. he hummed along to the music playing, some song made a few years ago.

the song changed and he looked up at you, excitement flickering in his eyes, “baby, wanna dance with me?”

you stopped scratching his scalp for a moment, thinking about it. you smiled and nodded.

“yeah, i do, kiri,”

you’d have to ask him, like a lot

be persistent!!

it’s not that he doesn’t want to dance with you

it’s just that he has no fucking clue how to dance and doesn’t want to embarrass himself

he’s just s u c h a great dancer and doesn’t want to make you feel bad about your skills

no but he’s struggling,, he has no idea what he’s doing

“katsuki, just put your hands on-” “tch, i know what i’m doing dumbass”

he figures it out eventually, he had one had on your hip and the other holding yours

he buried his head in your neck so you don’t see his blush

he’s practically silent, only speaking to make a remark when you trip

he actually finds it really endearing

rating: katsuki, marry me

“katsuki, you gotta take a break. it isn’t good for you to keep at it like this,” you said rubbing his shoulder.

“yeah and what else would i do?” he grumbled, pushing his hand further down the pencil.

bakugou had been working non-stop on homework since he’d returned to the dorms that day. he had yet to take a break and he needed it, and you were about to force him into relaxing for a bit if he spent another second writing.

a small sigh left him before reaching up and grabbing your hand on his shoulder. He rubbed small shapes with his thumb and apologized.

“if you dance with me then we’ll be even,”

“alright shitty-(feature),” he paused before looking up at you through his eyelashes, “you and dancing.”

boy oh boy, sero and you dance so often

he loves dancing with you and DAMN is he good at it

he’ll dance with you at any point in time, for any reason

he spins you a lot, he’ll even lift you a little if he’s feeling it

it’s super playful

he dips you all the time

baby has the moves and loves teaching you

he’ll dance to any song, especially if you’re with him

he’s always laughing either you or talking to you while you dance together

rating: 10000/10, dancing king, only seventeen 🎶

“Mi sol, when did you get so good at this?”

sero spun you wildly in the spot, twirling you under his hand. you laughed and tumbled into his chest, still seeing the room spin around you. sero pulled back slightly to see you and your unfocused eyes.

“beginners bad luck finally wore off, i guess!”

he smiled down at you, waiting for you to lose the dizzy feeling of turning like that. he enjoyed your smile while you watched the room. but the second you’re eyes focused again he was moving around the room with you again.

“you’d best not drop me, hanta-”

he’d take you out dancing

endeavour payed for dance lessons when he was a kid - he couldn’t have his prodigy dancing like an idiot

this is an endeavour hate page

he took formal dancing lessons and would 100% take a while to loosen up with you

but he holds you very delicately, with one hand on the small of you’re back and the other holding yours

as he loosens up and relaxes he holds you closer to him

and i mean this is shouto todoroki we’re talking about, he’s quiet the whole time

he just watches you with a small smile on his face, cute as fuck-

would teach you to ballroom dance at some point, if you didn’t know

rating: 15/10, he’s a rich boy, he knows his moves

“sho, this is wonderful,” you grinned at him, “really, i appreciate this.”

he returned the smile, taking your hand in his and pulling you forward on to the dance floor. you straightened your clothes out and took his lead. the two of you began moving around the room together, following the rhythme of the song playing.

“you know how to dance formally?” he asked, watching you move with grace.

“i have no clue what i’m doing, i’m just following you,”

you’d ask and he’d: “y-you want to- i mean i’m not a good dancer- are you sure?? why??”

he’s so nervous, just give him some reassurance and he’ll be fine

he is always making sure he isn’t making you uncomfortable

he’d let you pick the music or chose from your playlist

he’d hold you by the hips after asking a few times if that was okay

he isn’t the best but he picks it up pretty quickly

he probably asked iida for dance lessons after this

n e ways, he’d probably be red the whole time

rating: 12/10, his nervousness is actually really endearing

he put his hands on your hips and pulled you toward him, glancing up to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable. you wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, moving closer to him. you started swaying to the song playing and he followed your lead. the two of you starting to step around.

“are you sure you’re okay with this,” he tapped his fingers against your hip.

you hummed and rested your head on his shoulder, finding dancing with him comforting, “ ‘s okay, izuku. i promise.”

he kissed you on the crown of your head and continued moving to the music. he started relaxing and fully taking in the moment.

tenya iida, my main man,, he also got dance lessons when he was younger

fuckin rich boy

he short circuited when you asked, just give him a moment

he was probably super excited but kept it under control

he almost certainly played some sort of ballroom music (does that make sense??)

mans full on waltzed with you-

but he’d also do a more casual dance if you wanted

he held you small of your back and waist, he’s very careful not to make you uncomfortable

he’d only be goofy if you guys are just fooling around and making jokes while dancing

other than that he’s pretty quiet

rating: 20/10, tenya please wear some goddamn contacts during training

“y/n, i’m so sorry,” iida flushed deeply, stopping his movements.

despite his time practicing dance and his thought out movements, he’s stepped on your foot. he was apologizing profusely while you just stood and laughed lightly, watching his arm chop down.

“i’m sorry, i should have watched my step and- wait are you laughing?”

“iida, it’s okay. you have nothing to worry about.”

he’d probably just randomly start dancing with you

like you could be dancing around while cleaning and he’d just join you

baby can’t dance, he just can’t

but he acts like he can

would twirl you constantly and he’d try to dip you but fail miserably 😭

electric slide lookin ass

probably just starts his playlist and dances to random songs

he’s so goofy omg-

doesnt stop laughing or teasing you

rating: 30/30, sounds like a vibe

“you’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by, a smooth criminal!”

denki stood on his toes, head tipped downward, and his hand positioned like he was dipping a fedora. at this point he had crashed into the table and knocked a chair over. this man was to never be trusted near anything fragile.

he took your hand and spun you around him, trying to keep you from the chair on the floor. after he spun you he spun himself, this time tripping over the chair and tumbling into the fridge.

“denki are you okay? are you okay, denki?” you sang along with the song playing.

sunshine man, he would 100% dance with you

but you’d have to ask, the thought just wouldn’t come to his mind

and he is worse than denki

but he has so much fun with it that it doesn’t matter

he spins you and lifts you, it’s so fun

he’s so goofy and playful, not a serious moment

he accidentally activated his quirk while dipping you, that hurt

but he loves dancing with you

and he pokes fun at his own dancing, he finds it really amusing

and he hyped you up so much

rating: 1000000/10, overall a perfect experience

a squeal left your mouth as your feet left the ground, mirio’s hands clutching your waist tightly. you grabbed on to his shoulders to keep yourself steady. he put you back on the ground and continued dancing along to the music. he shimmed his shoulders and bopped his head to the beat. or at least tried.

“i know that you can’t help but watch my horrible dancing but you gotta dance with me, can’t be the only bad dancer here!”

you shook your head and took his hands, shimmying along with him. man was mirio was a bad dancer but he made it so much fun

you’d ask him and he would just not get why you’d wanna dance with him

he wouldn’t object to it, it’s just that he’s sure that he’s a bad dancer and that others are so much better and

would hide his face in your neck and hold you really tightly to him

and he’s so nervous

if he stepped on you he’d let go of you and just stand in a corner for hours

but honestly, he’s actually a really good dancer

if you guys dance more he’ll start goofing off and doing stuff like spinning you

probably doesn’t put on music and if he did it would be off of his chill playlist

rating: 80/10, might be my ideal situation

you and amajiki had barely moved from where you guys started, not that it mattered. you two had been swaying more than dancing, but it was peaceful and relaxing. that’s what mattered. he had he’s arms wrapped tightly around your torso and his head was hidden in your neck. you felt his smile and uneven breathes brushing against your skin.

some old slow song played from your phone, one he chose. both of you were happy with the closeness and intimacy of the moment, but tamaki was happy he just hadn’t stepped on you. god that would have killed him. but he had yet to, and he was thankful.

“thank you, tama,” you smiled gently, “this is nice.”

[moonlitberrry]

white paws

➀ ᴀ/ɴ: here have a cat shua bullet point imagines since i'm craving some at the moment. don't ask why, i needed a break through from my responsibilities every once in a while. here ya, go!

➁ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: cat! hong jisoo/joshua x reader

➂ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff, angst, hybrid au

➃ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: mentions of death, abuse, inequality

he's a cute white cat you took care of recently

feels like some kind of angel cat brought down from the sky and you don't know how

a little sweetie who just wants all of you affection and food

or he goes sassy if he doesn't get some of it

the both of you love each other with all of your heart

ok i'll be honest with this au, but you don't really know he's a cat hybrid who can morph into a human as he pleases

he only becomes a cat when you're around but when you're out of the house he becomes a human but with cat ears and a tail

he refuses to let you into his life as a hybrid. he can't endanger his owner

(yes owner i'm trying to progress your relationship with him you see)

as much as he loves you, he hates seeing you in danger all because of him. his kind are known to be experimented from underground facilities, in other words they aren't wanted in society in general

all he can do is to play cat owner for a few more months until one day

you figured it out

he forgot to morph back into a cat when you came home one day

he never expected you to come home so early yet you did

eventually you find this handsome stranger wearing a white hoodie and jeans inside your house, sleeping on the couch just sleeping peacefully and you're just

why is he here

how did he get here

i should call the cops because wth

is he a robber?

yet he's so cute though

what's weird is, you see his tail and ears twitch around so it made you think

is this?

your

joshushu?

your cat joshua?

how to access such information? you're not sure either tbh

you waited until he woke up and he's just,

"oh hey, (y/n) you're awake,,,,,, OMG WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN I-"

instead of explaining he morphed into a feline and made a bee line into one corner so you couldn't reach him

and you're just

"Joshua, please come back :< I won't hurt you..."

he's not scared of you, he's scared of ruining your relationship because he feels like he got you in danger because of him

but you're not planning to let that go through

so instead of cowering around he let himself come out of the corner and morph back into his cat hybrid human form

but damn he's so tall yet so cute

you just couldn't resist

it almost feels like yesterday where you're holding him around your arms while you walk around your house

watching movies on the couch, reading a book while he lays around your lap or listening to you rant

you felt sorry thinking he might be bored around the house just staying here with you but it doesn't phase him at all

jisoo/joshua is a simple man enjoying simple activities such as these

you eventually learned all about him but not too much information was shared for one day because-

you were taking care of a hybrid for how many months and that's just pretty much a lot to take in and keep everything a secret from

so the both of you chose to keep it slow and simple while learning about each other

you learned his actual name is jisoo but he still kept the name you gave him which is joshua

tbh, everything is still normal except the fact that you can talk to joshua more freely while using his cat hybrid human form

(idk what to call it ok?)

he can morph into a full human but it takes a lot of his energy to do so

you brought him to places and showed him a bunch of what human life is like behind all the cruelty its under

it made him happy that you did so for him

a lot of people mistook joshua as your boyfriend

well you can't tell them that he's a hybrid cat that's your secret with joshua

you tried telling them that he's just your roommate but they just can't accept this at all

you kept refusing even if you want that to happen

you can never know what joshua felt since all he's been doing from your perspective is all friendship related actions

joshua as your boyfriend seems like the least of what you might expect for your relationship to actually level up

unexpectedly, one night he was being taken away from the same laboratory that used to experiment on him

what feared him once came back to his senses and now he got you in danger as well

he was lab no. 3 in their list who escaped 2 years ago

while joshua was fighting back you were held behind by one of the guards from the laboratory, screaming and shouting for them to stop

you weren't sure on how did they found out where he lived

eventually joshua was taken away and you were gagged by the cloth that they've given you with a certain drug that made you doze off

the moment you woke up you were on the floor with a headache

you scrambled out and around in search of a clue that can lead you to joshua and where he's been lead

you found a note

but it's not a note from the researchers, it was from joshua

so you opened the letter in a flash, hoping it would lead you to where he's located

Dear (Y/N),

i'm not sure if you will be able to read this but I love everything that you've done for me (even if i'm just a cat). i don't want you to be placed in harms way so i decided to keep myself hidden from you, there are people after me and i can't allow them to hurt you so i did what i had to do in order to protect you. always know that you're a really smart, friendly and kind person who can do anything and everything. i believe in you. i've heard that we were being mistaken as a couple last time and wish we could do that but i didn't know how to ask you about it, until then... i love you. ♡ - jisoo, your cat (sorry if my hand writing isn't that legible enough ;;)

"jisoo,,,"

there you were on your knees

he didn't want to hint where the laboratory was

maybe it was his way of protecting you somehow? he didn't want you to follow him just in case it happens?

his fate remained unknown to you at the moment

for weeks you kept your cat door open hoping he'd come back

you weren't sure on how to ask people about this, finding a missing cat hybrid but it's all too late

it's been a month now and he never returned

people have been asking questions about his disappearance and honestly you didn't know what to respond either

in this society, hybrids are considered to have low ranks, killed even as an act of dislike towards their kind

an act of kindness shown towards them will be executed by the government

you hoped that maybe at this point forward, he'll be safe wherever he is at the moment

« back to seventeen masterlist

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[shesasupergeek]

I posted 16,987 times in 2021

18 posts created (0%)

16969 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 942.7 posts.

I added 1,556 tags in 2021

#video - 856 posts

#mash - 265 posts

#leverage - 102 posts

#history - 73 posts

#ref - 69 posts

#lgbtq history - 63 posts

#halloween - 54 posts

#aesthetic - 29 posts

#reminders - 23 posts

#history memes - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but many other departments (while not nursing at. all. i work it) follow the guidelines of the nurse's union for total company requirements

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Tagged by @invisiblesocks literally,,,,,,,,, SO long ago, tysm sorry it took me forever!

rules : spell out your name and url using only song titles and tag 10(ish) people.

E: Eleanor Rigby - the Beatles

M: The Man Who Sold the World - Nirvana

M: My Lover - Birdtalker

A: Alexandra - Allie X

and

S: September - Earth, Wind & Fire

H: Here's A Health - Cara Dillon

E: Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks

S: She Bop - Cyndi Lauper

A: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

S: Stand By Me - Ben E. King

U: Under the Milky Way - The Church

P: Perfect Day - Lou Reed

E: Enigma - Lady Gaga

R: Real Love Baby - Father John Misty

G: Good Kisser - Lake Street Drive

E: everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

E: End of the Line - Traveling Wilburys

K: Kocaine Karolina - Elle King

Tagging @flower-mando (new url!!!) and that is probably it just bc I know your url is new other than that anyone who feels like it!

3 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 03:28:36 GMT

#4

Tagged by @trentfredethicc !!! Tysm 💕

Five things that make me happy:

1. My bestie!

2. Cooking and eating delicious food and sharing it with people!

3. My family and pets!

4. Reading for fun!

5. My little garden!

Tagging @highly-koalafied @oya-vode @angryunicorn02 no pressure though 💕

4 notes • Posted 2021-04-22 19:04:35 GMT

#3

Tagged by @itsjuliak5 tysm!!! 💕

Favorite color: I don't know right now omg that's so awkward

Currently reading: well my bookmark is in "Brothers at War: the Unending Conflict in Korea" but tbh I'm gonna set it aside and start "Witchmark"

Last song: "Here, There, and Everywhere" by the Beatles

Last series: M*A*S*H

Last movie: I don't remember, I haven't seen one for a few months

Sweet savory or spicy: I have such a bad sweet tooth AND I love savory. Spicy only sometimes

Tea or coffee: tea

Currently working on: grad school application materials 😔

Tagging: @tr0ubl-e @angryunicorn02 @matbaerzal @sirringostarkey no pressure though!

4 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 23:44:03 GMT

#2

Tagged by @abbylabardown 💕💕💕

Rules: list three facts about your self then tag a few people

1. I really want to write a book someday but all I can ever think of are character concepts, not a remotely cohesive plot

2. I'm gonna be a history teacher when I grow up!

3. I need to be stopped from overflowing my back deck with plants. I want to be a garden lady and grow veggies n stuff in addition to my tiny butterfly garden. Someday

Tagging @churchofrileytanev @sirringostarkey and @tr0ubl-e 💐

5 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 04:47:56 GMT

#1

Tagged by @churchofrileytanev Simonne ily I'm sorry I've been off the radar lately 💕

picrew

I legitimately have no idea who has or hasn't done this one yet so I'll blindly tag @tr0ubl-e @abbylabardown @sirringostarkey @disney-prince-quinn-hughes no pressure though!!!

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 08:19:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[lordseochangbin]

seo changbin x reader— enemies to lovers, diss track au! fluff & angst

a/n: ok there were some points where i felt iffy but i LOVE this idea and omg i love this sm im 🥺

in your seventeen years of living, you never enjoyed the number of comparisons your parents made between you and the boy next door.

he was just a few years older than you were, always mocking you for still being underaged and leaving you to spit out bullshit such as “im 18!! if you count the time i spent in my mother’s womb!”

it’s like he purposely did it to rile you up, but of course you got him back everytime. changbin being the most “popular music major” at school made him very much secretive and since you two knew each other from a young age, you were his weakness. you held his secrets, his past. that’s what made you powerful in this relationship stirred up from hate and jealously.

that, and your ability to compose amazing music.

it was another day at the school’s music studio. the professor understood you and changbin had some sort of misunderstanding so it was a priority that you two never shared a room, but mistakes happen i suppose.

you sat on the black leather chair, rocking it back and forth as you found yourself lost in your thoughts. “what should i write this song about...” you thought to yourself, chewing a pen cap between your lips.

you replayed the music over and over again. it was beautifully composed and you were quite impressed with yourself, however it didn’t hit the voices nor the raps of any music majors so you decided to call it a draft.

your cursor lingered towards the “draft” button before the door could burst open, revealing a boy in his usual black tee, sweats and shoes.

“get out” you said with a stern voice, eyes focused on the screen as you could already tell who it was

“geez... okay okay. what are you working on dumbass?” he said, resting his hands on the headrest of your seat as you stared at the screen

“it’s none of your business changbin” you remarked, clicking the draft button before the track could auto-play

you quickly rushed to pause the song before changbin could grab your wrists, staring at the blank page who’s title matched the title of the track

“some shitty music this is” he smirked, slamming the pause button so hard it made you jump in your seat

“try listening to your own music” you said, shoving him to the side and hiding your lyric book

changbin grabbed the desk behind him to regain balance, hurrying over to you as he grabbed the book in your hand

“what’s this? hmm? your love songs about me?” he smirked

your pretend-gagged in your mouth, grabbing the book from his hand and slapping his arm with it.

“stop bothering me you prick!”

“stop bothering me you prick!! mehhh” he mocked, his voice in a high pitched tone as winced his eyes at you.

everyday went like this. was he destined to annoy you? destined to be the only fault in your life with no mercy. he just enjoyed the way you scrunched your nose, the way you punched his stomach, the way you kicked his shin. god, he loved making you angry and he loved seeing you struggle.

changbin dodged your book this time before you could wack him, and assuming he was done with his daily business you went back to your seat. forgetting everything that happened seconds ago before a sudden reminder could be heard tingling down your ear

“you know y/n, why can’t you just like me?” he asked, his finger teasingly caressing the side of your cheek

“every girl wants me, yet you... i just don’t get you” he continued, pointing at you to show how much “you stood out”

you rolled your eyes, not having any of it at the moment. but you had to admit it, your heart was beating out of your chest and something in you was telling you to go for it. he’s right there, just one inch away from his lips and you could-

“exactly, take a hint seo changbin. i can’t, and i won’t ever like you” you spat in his face, forcing him to seperate his hands from your heated cheeks.

“alright, alright chill” he said in a somewhat teasing voice, “but you know you want to be mine. ill make sure of it”

“me? with your cocky ass? bet”

“it’s not like i want to be with you either y/n” he said, leaning against the desk as you looked at you for any reaction. you were as still as a statue however, and this didn’t go unnoticed by changbin. in fact, he was a bit worried when he didn’t hear a response from you.

you simply blinked, your eyes drawn to the floor as his words transcript itself into your head. he never wanted to be with you, he never wanted to be with you.

“hey, y/n you good?” he said, nudging your shoulder a bit

you woke up from your sudden day dream before turning back to your computer and ignoring his presence as you always did. but changbin wasn’t finished, he pressed the play button to your recent track.

“stop it, i can’t figure out the lyrics to this yet” you said. changbin raised an eyebrow at your plain stated response before he could smirk

“ill help you out with that”

changbin waits for the beat to replay, his eyes looking directly into yours as he twirls your chair so you’re looking at nothing more than the “rap god of music school spearb”. your breath increases as you are forced to look at him in his place, where he paced back and forth thinking of lyrics before he could spit something out.

your eyes watched as changbin took over each beat, his hands moving around to fit syllables with notes and his eyes deadlocked on you to make sure you took down every word. yes, it was offensive. yes, it was beyond talented. yes, did he so fucking hot as he brushed his fingers through his hair, his eyes now on the roof as he tried to think of lyrics to continue. but what hit you the hardest was when he pointed out how cold-hearted you were in the middle of your rap.

to be clear, he said “hey y/n youre cold hearted, like elsa farted. ‘let it go’ when you’re around me,your period hasn’t started” (A/N: I AM SO SORRY SKSK I WANTED TO HAVE FUN WITH THIS LMFAOO)

these lyrics made you laugh at first, but when you realized what he meant it remained drilled in your head. as the song went on his lyrics become more and more serious, more and more meaningful. you sat back in your seat, not even paying attention to what he was saying. you just watched him. his every moment. you eyed him from top to bottom as your heart beat started to pace a little faster. 

changbin poured his heart out in this moment. he wanted to let you know of these mixed feelings he was having. i mean, geez y/n, why were you always such a bitch to him? for no fucking reason? that’s why he decided to ignore his own feelings and bully you for now on. you hated him anyways. but as the song went on, he was tired of rapping about your imperfections (that he tried so hard to make up). he wanted to confess his love in words you could understand, and now that he had your attention he focused on doing just that. only until the music could stop.

“y/n... y/n? you pressed the pause button”

you turned around to find your elbow on the space bar. “oh.. oh! my bad i’m... oh what am i saying” you muttered to yourself before turning to him.

“get out!!” you said, standing up to push him out the door.

“okay, okay” changbin put both hands up in surrender

you shut the door in a hurry, your back slamming against it as you clutched onto your shirt. there was a burning pain there, it felt like your chest was collapsing upon itself. you never felt like this before. was it the fact that he was rapping about you? was it the insults? did it offend you THAT much? you rolled your eyes, your back slowly sliding down until your body met the floor as you finally met a steady heartbeat.

“it’s cause i like you, fucking idiot. and you call me cold-hearted?” you said, thinking back on his lyrics.

“we’ll see about that”

————-

a smug expression fit your mood as you walked down the halls, each step pulling you closer to lordseochangbin music school’s courtyard. changbin and his “rap” friends typically hung out around there and girls crowded them in awe of their looks. 

your dark eye circles drooped down low, you spent all night in distress. did he not like you? he liked you? his words hurt your petty heart, to say the least. you wanted to come up with excuses to answer this burning feeling. what was this feeling? 

it came down to feeling confused, amazed, happy, heartbroken. they all seemed jumbled up and all you could think about was throwing it into words. all night you focused on your new diss track dedicated to the one and only seo changbin. you wanted to show him you weren’t just bitching around when you said you hated him. you meant it. in all honesty you loved him, and all he did was bully you around for it. 

god, to call you a bitch like that? that hit different. you pushed through the mob of girls, standing confidently before changbin as he looked up from his laptop to see you.

“y/n...” he said, unconsciously handing his laptop to jisung to give you his attention. his hands rested on his knees before he could stand up, the crowd tensing around you

“god, here goes the typical y/n and changbin stand-off. power of the two rap lyrical writers” someone said behind you.

yes it was a typical scene, you and changbin causing scenes everywhere around campus. but this one felt different. this scene felt like it would leave a rough patch.

“changbin, just wanted to return what you gave me last night” the vagueness in your words threw everyone off, including changbin’s friends

“what? a good night lyrics to complete your song?” he smirked, taking a daring step towards you.

the close proximity made you stutter a bit before you could take out your laptop from your backpack and expose a rough draft, something you found on changbin’s drive

“wait.. isn’t that my draft music?” he asked, his eyes glaring at the screen before turning back to you

“exactly, now im gonna give you a piece of your own medicine”

--------------

you slinged your backpack over your shoulder and you walked away from the crowd. god, that was embarrassing. it was different to say the least, the crowd cheered you on but their support didn’t matter. what mattered the most was the way changbin’s eyes glared at you the whole time. he didn’t bother to make out the words you were saying but he knew exactly what you were doing.

one thing changbin couldn’t get himself to realize was your motive? why were you literally spitting bars at his face? 

he stared blankly as you left thinking not only did you attack his height, his rap style, and his skills-- you attacked his heart.

---------------

the next day he never came around to your studio. to ensure you weren’t sharing this time you checked the schedule for the booked room everyday but you never found his name. you knew he was around because of the gossip about him and his new single with his mates, but you never saw him on campus. 

when summertime came around you were excited to come home as well, hoping to see the same boy next door but you were more than heartbroken to find out the seo family had moved out. his absence was a daily reminder of the mistake you made. you should’ve confessed way sooner.

---------------

a year passed before changbin could find himself backstage, his palms sweaty from the nervousness that had been piling over him these past few days. it was a small debut, but he knew every one of his fans were anticipating this. 

you, on the other hand, had no idea what was going down until a group of girls jumped ahead of you in the lunch line.

“hey y/n! you didn’t hear about 3racha’s debut? i guess changbin was debuting first after all” the girl giggled. your mouth dropped at the sudden statement.

“changbin.. he’s..he’s debuting?!”

“yeah! his stage is tonight!” the other girl replied, “do you wanna join? i have an extra ticket”

you grabbed the palm of the girl’s hands, giving it a squeeze in gratitude. “wow, thank you. thank you dude” 

“you welcome” the two girls smiled before you could exchange numbers. 

today was the special day, huh? you thought to yourself. it was the day he always teased you about, the typical “just wait till i’m famous, then you’ll like me!” he always bragged

you laughed like an idiot just thinking about it.

------------

later that day you decided to pass some time on twitter, searching changbin in the small text box in order to get any information on his debut. luckily, the tag was filled with posts and articles about 3racha. you learned a couple things from this which explained so much about the past year. his disappearance: he was transdered into a popular company called jyp, which was the same company he was debuting in. the company building was also 200 miles away, which may have explained why the seo family had moved. it seemed all too coincidental however, but only left one spot blank in your unfilled answer sheet. why did he never say goodbye? (a/n: bruh “never say goodbye” is the lyrics to the stray kids ost that changbin helped write... anyways continue)

you jumped into a taxi with the two girls, all bubbly and giggly as you chit-chatted inside the car. the girls ensured you wore an outfit that was a bit out of your comfort zone, a red-shimmery bodycon dress that hugged your waist tight. your figure shined the most in this outfit, and earned the top topic in your conversation with the girls as you talked about the usual “where and how” you got your outfit. 

200 miles, it took about two hours you supposed at the steady speed the taxi-driver went in. once two hours passed you couldn’t help but to ditch the conversation, a pit in your stomach slowly building as you anticipated changbin’s presence. what if he forgot about you? you thought about the question for a bit before concluding it would be best if he did forget about you. 

you entered the club, finding a table nearby the stage. as the three of you got seated you noticed a face peek out behind the curtains. if it wasn’t the look on his face, god that look on his face. you could see his shocked expression as he looked at you eye-to-eye. he never expected to see you here, in fact it was the last thing that crossed his mind but instead of making him more nervous your presence made him feel more at ease, more at home. 

three performances went by in a breeze, the crowd cheering on at certain parts that impressed even you. the lyrics were fun, having you jumping in your seat as swaying back and forth to the songs. but before you knew it the solo stages came on, changbin’s was up first.

the second he got on the stage his eyes scanned the crowd before they landed on you once again. a smug smirk fitted his face as the song started, chan and jisung looking over at changbin for the message that inspired the song lyrics.

“this one’s dedicated to the girl that broke my heart. there’s more to the story of course, and now that i think about it.. i think i should probably change my words up a bit” he laughed, taking chan and jisung by surprise before they could find you in the crowd as well.

“this song... it’s to the girl i loved.. and i hated the most. thank you for being there for me, whether you wanted to or not. thank you for.. dealing with my bullshit. for being my motivation and inspiration. you mean so much more than you’ll ever know, this one’s to you”

------

three minutes later you found yourself crying in the bathroom corner. you couldn’t tell if it was tears of joy or sadness. small sniffles was all changbin heard in the tiny room before he could knock on the door

“y/n, can i come in?”

“you would still come in even if i said no” you replied in the midst of tears, trying to wipe some off with your hand

“you’re right” changbin replied as he allowed the door to open by itself. he ran to you in a heartbeat, getting you on your feet and wiping the small droplets on your cheeks

“now why is my babygirl crying right now?” he laughed, leaning down to lock eyes with you 

“did you really have to address me as babygirl?! seriously, you pervert!” you slapped his chest as you continued crying “i’m only three years younger, THREE” you pointed three fingers out as he softly grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer

“ it was all i could think of in the moment, i’m sorry love”

“i mean if i was there to help you-”

“are we seriously going to argue right now” changbin interrupted, resting his forehead against yours. there it was. your heart doing that funky thing again. god your brain cells were just squirming in disgust.. this feeling of excitement, love, yuck! it was disgusting! you thought. but deep down, you really loved seo changbin. with every breath you could never take back the fact that you loved seo changbin.

“no...i just missed you so much” you mumbled, a stutter in the midst as you could feel changbin’s hot breath with the close proximity

“then will you shut up and let me kiss you now? please?” he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks before you could nod in approval

“did you brush your te-”

“i said shut up” changbin said with a smile before your lips could meet with his. you immediately fell into his hands, yours wrapping around his broad shoulders as he picked you up by your waist. your thighs met the cold stone counter-top of the bathroom, changbin fitting in between your legs as you pulled him in for another kiss. changbin leaned back to meet your eyes again, “you know how long i’ve been waiting to do that?” he gasped, trying to catch his breath

“im sure you can write a song about it” you chuckled

changbin looked at the mirror behind you before turning around to find his bags on the floor. “actually....”

he leaned down to find his laptop inside. “i kinda already did?”

[woozi]

the thirst tweets yza 😭😭😭 i cannot. as much as fun this was, we were so close to getting jaebs with cats <//3

headlocking sk 😭😭 DJJDSKSK i would stand there like wonu clapping in the soop, for you <3. it's hindi ( actually it's my 2nd language but i speak in it the most w ppl outside of family djdjdjk ) my mother tongue is almost dwording djdjdkdk </3 i think im last gen who still speaks it, kids these days only know hindi or english.

ALSO!!! the footwork in senses choreo???? i liked it sm <3 yugyeom makes it look so easy to move like that?!?

same jdjdkddk godddd sometimes it takes a month to complete a drama which i like and started on my own will and sometimes it only takes 3 days. it doesn't matter how much i love something if i won't watch it, then I won't watch or consume it at all 💀.

ohhh, i've known jamie as an after school club mc first and singer second. like there was this time i was suddenly obsessed w eric nam's before we begin album i think around that time i first listened to one or two songs of jamie ( it was all spotify's doing jddjks) but then i forgot abt both and went back to listening to my regular ones. honestly i feel like i've gotten to know and appreciate jype artists ( those i know ) more, only after they've changed agencies it could just be me or my timing tho djdjdjh. have you listened to hanbin's solo album? honestly it's been no.1 album from 1st half of 2021 for me. i was not even looking forward to it or even knew djdjsk but i'm so glad i did i really like the songs & lyrics.

almost whatever jackson has released after mirrors has been to my taste leaving few bsides here and there. i love lmly <3 idk why for some reason i tend to mix pretty please and lmly up a lot djdjsk maybe it's bc of white tee and jeans. both mvs concept and songs are fantastic but if i have to pick one w/ mv & only considering the song, i do love lmly a little bit more then pretty please. wbu? <3

mark kept saying ' when we go back ' during the live so i got more confused each time, went on twt and got to know djdjdk. twt list of both svt & got7 of update accounts is like my newspaper, in free time i open it to see what is going on, sometimes jdjddk.

and of course i know abt woozi's cover <3 i've listened to it a lot jdjdksk he's so <//3

i could listen to his voice all day.

there is one cover of 10 cm hoshi dropped last year i like it sm <3 it made me so happy!!, around that i was obsessed with some of 10 cm's songs. help is one of my most favorite.

i really really wish for dokyeom to cover more day6 songs or just any songs </3 would really appreciate one from mr. joshu_acoustic too 😿.

did you see the way dokyeom woke up with a smile on his face in 5th in the sopp ep <//3 he's so precious 😭 (i'll try to link next time idk links go through asks tho djjddj sometimes tumblr eats it up). i don't even know what a smile is for first 2 hours after i've woken up. also i think i like this (sk coming and karaoke one - 5th) ep a lil more bc of that half minute of singer cheol it served us. i need him to sing more omg <//3

the soop song tho it's so sweet 😭💕. i love love how they brainstorm and make songs it's such an interesting process. i love what going seventeen is now but i miss watching the song making & recording process (even rho they do show it in inse after cb but jdjdks). the one where they made gose song, recorded it and made choreo/mv i love. it's still remains as one of my most favorite ep. they compose & write songs so smoothly & make it look so effortless <3

thank you for letting me ramble abt silly little things and responding to them, yza <3 love hanging out w/ you. i hope you're also having fun djjddj (i'll try to keep these short fr 😭 djdkdk i feel a bit bad for making you read so much nonsense :3)

take care of yourself, yza <3 sending good week wishes. - 🪂🪂🪂

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT TO SEE JAEBEOM READ THIRST TWEETS BEFORE MY VERY EYES WHICH ALTERNATE AU IS THIS 😭

also mood tbh we could've gotten something like jacks' puppy vid </3

LIKE WONU CLAPPING FJKDJKFDJFD in true infj fashion <3 wait naurr that's so sad </3 do they not teach it in schools?

ALSO YES OH MY GODDDDDDDDD house king show us ur fancy moves <3 as a fellow dancer i am throwing him my shoe rn <3 also i literally have never seen smth like this in kpop how did people fucking sleep on this icb it..

I FULLY RELATE HELLO????????????????? what dramas have u been watching? and which genres are u into? <3 i also just finished vincenzo today it was so good 😭 took me like.. a week, i think (?), though bc svt has SO MUCH content and i dont like being behind on svt shit esp bc i also run an update blog lmaooo 😭

WAIT I FORGOT SHE ALSO DID EMCEEING 😭 she's such a fun person </3 AND ERIC NAM FDKJDFJK i have one-sided beef w him lmao when he was still new to the scene he would reply to everyone's @s but he never replied to me so i felt v .. </3 (also this is what.. 13 year old me speaking so this def does not reflect how i feel abt him now JKJKFJKDFF) i also get that </3 i feel like jype doesn't manage them well (i dont know shit behind the scenes and shit abt the industry in-depth but u know... it Kind Of Shows esp w how the artists themselves speak abt the agency lol). and i have not!! i am truly a svtpoppie 😭 i will though bc u recommended it to me <3 i also have been seeing him frequently on tiktok lol, ALSO BC OF LEE HI!!

honestly i haven't been keeping up w his albums anymore just the title tracks so i cant say much 😭 i also def prefer lmly over pretty please i was actually obsessed w it for a while!! i love jackson's vision so much though, the cinematography is EVERYTHING

literally reading abt what our boys have been up to like reading the morning paper KJDSFKJDSJKSJKD

V GOOD FOR U TO HAVE COME ACROSS THE COVER... I JUST DISCOVERED IT BY ACCIDENT 😭 also i have to agree although i definitely do not want to admit that i am more than willing to listen to some man sing to me all day 😭😭😭😭😭 jihoon's voice is just... different to me for some reason. i have a hard time picking between him & seokmin tbh </3 hbu, who's ur fave svt vocalist?

ALSO YES THAT WAS SO CUTE OF HIM!! AND V ON BRAND TOO </3 the way u listen to 10cm..... im giving u an award rn <3 im guessing you listen to k-indie too?

DK THOUGH... I'M VERY MUCH WILLING TO ADMIT THAT I'D LISTEN TO HIM ALL DAY.... something about him... AND NOT THE JOSHU_ACOUSTIC FJDJFDJKFD 😭😭😭 i hate his username so much- why... WHY...

I DID!!!!!!!!! and i was so surprised too bc.. who wakes up smiling?????? what'd he dream of???????????? he's such a happy person i cant imagine what thats like 😭 the first thing i do when i wake up is make the >:| face JFJKFDKJFD also oh my god i just read that you're experiencing the same thing 😭😭 bestie trait!! KJJKFDKJFD ALSO YOU COULDN'T BE MORE RIGHT?????????? im always campaigning for vocalist coups im SOOO glad u feel the same way <3 his voice is just so comforting to me </3 idk i just really like his timbre

and v true omg i'm always fascinated to see how they actually work all this out!! the bts recording/choreo making vids are also my favorite gfkjdfkjdfj HOW ARE WE SO SIMILAR WE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME PERSON 😭also jihoon in that gose behind vid........... in universe factory............... i still think about that Look from time to time... 😭this is also why i respect the boys sm tbh. everyone in the industry undeniably works so hard but to actually get this much creative freedom and to basically lead the group and their direction music and performance-wise is so insane to me... no wonder jihoon's always in his studio. i couldnt be happier that they get to live off of doing what they like im also so so proud of them they must work so hard <3 esp w all the content they're giving us.. icb it's always like this in caratland im so used to being an ahgase that gets like.... 1 cb a year😭

AND NOOO OMG DON'T BE SORRY I REALLY LOOOVE GETTING UR MESSAGES </3 and i love how lengthy they are makes me feel like ur just not making small talk (i hate small talk sm 😭) and that you're actually interested <3 i genuinely love bonding w u through these little asks i can never thank u enough for sending them <3 i hope ur having a lovely week as well!! u can always talk to me even if it's not kpop related and u just want to talk abt life or when u need some cheering up <3

[steves-on-a-plane]

Waiting For You

Words: 1597 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Timeline: Not Specific Request: “Omg u are taking requests? Can you write something about Bucky being readers boyfriend and she is just waiting for him to propose they have been together for yearssss and yearsss.” - Anon Summary: Bucky and Reader have been dating for seven years, but after dropping hints about wanting to get married for nearly a decade, Reader has finally accepted that it may not be in the cards for her and Buck. 

You’d  tried dropping hints over the seven plus years that you’d been dating Bucky. They were subtle at first. One time you left a stack of bridal magazines on the coffee table for a week to see if he said anything. Another time You started a conversation asking about which two colors he thought went best together. But over time the hints got less subtle. You talked about how nice your sister’s wedding was and how you couldn’t wait for your own special day. You’d read your friend’s Facebook posts aloud and talk about how they all seemed to be having kids. Every attempt seemed to go unnoticed.

“What are we watching tonight?” Bucky yawned as he snuggled up close to you on the couch. It was time for your weekly movie night and it was your turn to pick the movie.

“Twlight; New Moon.” You said pressing play on the remote. You draped a blanket across you and Bucky as movie started.

“The vampire movie?” Bucky sighed. “Didn’t we watch already?”

“Not this one.” You laughed. “There’s five of them.”

“Five!” Bucky complained. Alright well what happens in this one?”

“You’d know if you stopped talking.” You scolded him. You yawned and leaned against Bucky, your head resting on his chest. After only ten minutes Bucky had more questions.

“So Bella’s upset because she’s getting older and Edward is not? The dude’s 109!” Bucky exclaims pointing at the TV. He starts playing with a lock of your hair, twirling the strand around one of his fingers.

“But he looks seventeen.” You pointed out.

“That dude does not look seventeen!” Bucky argues. “Where’s my phone? I’m gonna Google how old this guy was.” Bucky strained to reach for his phone that was resting far away on the coffee table. He couldn’t quite reach with you laying on him. You handed him your phone without taking your eyes off the screen. “Ah-ha! I knew it!” He remarked a half-second later. “My dude was twenty-three when this movie was made.”

“Okay, but that’s not the point.” You sighed. “From Bella’s perspective, Edward doesn’t want to change her into a vampire at all. She’s thinks he is just going to stay with her until he she is too old for him and then he’d leave and move on. For Bella, it’s only ever going to be Edward, but she’s afraid that she will only ever be an insignificant blip in his life.”

“Why would she think that?” Bucky asked.

“Well, you’re missing the entire set up to the plot.” You whispered to him. “So please be quiet.”

As the movie played on Bucky eventually settled down and watched the movie. You were tired from the long day you’d had. You felt your eyelids grow heavy around the half-hour mark. You struggled to stay awake at first, New Moon was your favorite of the Twilight movies. But the security and warmth from being held in Bucky’s arms had you drifting off to sleep.

Two months past and you’d all but forgotten about that night. Your movie marathon had moved on from the Twilight saga and onto Harry Potter.  You’d given up on dropping even completely obvious hints about getting married too. You’d been together for seven years, at this point either Bucky was going to propose to you or her wasn’t. You were through with trying to force it to happen. It was the morning of your birthday and Bucky surprised you with breakfast in bed.

“Eat up!” He instructed. “I’ve got a full day of activities planned for us!”

“What kind of activities?” You asked, offering him a waffle.

“I already ate.” He waved the food off. He sat on the bed next to and leaned back on his pillow. He kicked his feet up and started listing off activities. “Let’s see, Breakfast in bed was first on the list, so check. Then I was thinking you might enjoy kicking my butt at a few rounds of Luigi kart…”

“It’s Mario Kart.” You snorted, trying not to choke on your food.

“Yeah, but I like Luigi better and there aren’t enough games named after him.” Bucky told you.  “So, we’re a Luigi Cart family in this house.”

“Okay.” You humored him. “And what are our plans after Luigi Cart?” ‘”I thought maybe we could go to the mall, do some shopping and eat at that restaurant you’re always trying to get me to go to but it’s closed on Sundays.”

“I can’t help it that the Chick-Fil-A curse means I only crave it on Sundays!” You exclaimed.

“Then after that I thought we could just come home and relax and snuggle. It’s been awhile since we’re spent the day just the two of us together.” He said.

“That sounds great, Bucky.” You agreed.

The day went mostly as Bucky described. You played Mario Kart for about two hours before heading to the mall. At the mall, Bucky was great about letting you drag him through all of your favorite stores. With your boyfriend’s arms weighed down with shopping bags, you took a break for lunch at Chik-Fil-a. A fast food restaurant that Bucky usually told you charged way too much for a food as cheap as chicken. Once you were all shopped out, Bucky drove you home.

“Just leave the bags in the car.” Bucky told you as he stepped out of the car. “I’ll cary them in later. I wouldn’t want my gal to lift a finger on her special day.” Bucky swoops in and kisses you before putting an arm around your shoulder.

“So movie night next?” You asked.

“Sure.” Bucky nodded. “But first, close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes? Why would I…”

“Humor me, please?” He asked.

“Alright.” You squeezed your eyes shut and let Bucky guide you into the house.

“SURPRISE!” You opened your eyes to see that Bucky had secretly put together a surprise party for your birthday. The house was decorated with streamers and balloons in lilac, your favorite color. There was a large six tire cake on display in the dining room, it too had lilac colored frosting and all of your friends were there, ready to celebrate the day with you.

“Wow! Thank you everyone!” You reached out and held Bucky’s hand. Parties or large gatherings weren’t really his thing so it meant a lot to you that he was willing to endure such a stressful envirement just for your birthday. “Thank you for putting this together.” You said, kissing him on the cheek.

“This is just the beginning, Babe.” Buck promised. “You guys hungry?” Bucky asks the crowd of Avengers around you. They reply with encouraging “Whoop-Whoop!”s and “Yeah!”s.

“We just ate lunch.” You frowned. “I don’t know how much more I can eat.”

“We’ll start with dessert then.” He said leading you into the dinning room. Bucky instructs everyone to gather around the table and with Steve’s help he removed the top layer of the cake. It is the smallest and probably only about four servings of cake.

“Do you remember a few months ago when we watched all of the Twilight movies?” He asked you. You nodded in response. “Well, those movies really got me thinking about something. Most of my adult life I’ve only ever seen myself as a monster. I thought I was destinted to be damned and I sure as hell didn’t think I’d ever catch the eye of a dame half as great as you.” Bucky reach out so that he was holding both of your hands in his. You were facing each other and looking directly into each others eyes.

“In a hundred life times, I’ll never understand how anyone so amazing could love me.” He continued. “And I don’t ever want my anxiety to get in the way of loving you. I don’t want to risk losing you because I was too afraid to let you know how I really feel. Happy Birthday [Y/N].” He sealed the birthday wish with a kiss.

“Thank you, Buck. No candles?” You teased him as you sized up the beautifully decorated but candle-less cake. Bucky didn’t comment as he handed you an ornamental cake knife. “Did you buy a cake knife just for this?” You asked him.

“It’s ours!” Clint shouted from where he stood in the back of the dining room with one arm holding his wife Laura close to him. “Think of it as something borrowed.” He told you cryptically. Holding the cake knife carefully you cut into the cake. You cut a small quarter out of the cake and slid the wedge out.

“I need a plate.” You laughed, completely missing the small silver object glistening inside the cake. “And a fork.” You added as Steve held up an empty plate to you.

“We’ll get you a fork later.” Bucky said. He takes the plate out of your hands and set the piece aside. “This wasn’t how I thought this was going to go but…” Bucky stuck his fingers inside the cake and seemed to dig something out of it. You couldn’t help but gasp when he produced a silver ring with a sapphire set atop it. “Something new, and blue.” He commened before lowing himself to the ground. “[Y/N] [Y/L/N], I’m sorry I made you wait so long, but will you make me the happiest mna on the planet and marry me?”

“I literally thought you would never ask.” You told him. You dropped down onto the ground so that you were kneeling next to him and threw your arms around his neck.

[theem0fangirl]

And it only took one video (Finn wolfhard x OC)

Grace is not an ordinary girl, to say the least. All her life she was shaped to be the girl next girl that everyone just simply adored, you know?, at least that’s what her parents wanted. She ended up being the complete and total opposite. 

I bet her parents didn’t expect her to be the girl that stays up till three am questioning her life choices as she blasts Mr. brightside on full volume. They didn’t even expect, not one bit, that their daughter would become an internet sensation AT ALL. 

“Oh my god, Grace, did you see the views on your new video?“ Her best friend asked, they were in a group call through facetime. Grace had to use her laptop to video chat with them. She met her friends when her videos started blowing up on the new app called tiktok. 

“No, Milly, i haven’t seen it“

 she took her phone to check that her video was surpassing the ten million mark. The sound she used was to pretend to be a  character in stranger things to the song dirty harry from the gorillaz. 

Grace felt odd having people randomly hit her personal messages trying to be friends with her just because she was famous, or pretty. She even had boys from her old highschool hitting her messages. 

“Can you believe the audacity of these incels!“ Grace shouted “Texting me just because i suddenly glowed up and they finally look pretty for them. These boys ain’t shit“. 

The video where Grace dressed up as a stranger things character was getting a lot of attention. Mainly because a lot of people thought that she radiated female mike wheeler vibes. She didn't mind those comments, the comments she hated were the ones judging her appearance. 

user7874637291937: omg, her acting is so fake like it is so non-believable

user362823729382: i find it hilarious that people are commenting that netflix should contact her LOL

user46389292399: Has anybody seen her hair? like girl you look like a fucking rat nest JAJA t

user4666738293: lord, are those stomach rolls? ew!

She would usually just shrug those comments as stupid. They were just bored people with the attention span of a fucking goldfish and ate batteries for fun. 

“Also, i see that it is quite trending on twitter that people are randomly tagging Finn wolfhard to see your videos“

 Grace widened her eyes when she heard that. Her fans were doing what?!. 

“Tell me that you’re joking, dude“ she was starting to get nervous when her friend shook her head. 

Grace quickly had to open twitter to find out that people were indeed tagging Finn wolfhard on her stranger things videos all over her twitter feed. She groaned and threw her pillow against the wall. 

“YO, whats wrong?“ Tellulah asked “Uh, the fact that my fans are swarming THE MOTHERFUCKING FINN WOLFHARD WITH VIDEOS OF ME DOING STRANGER THINGS POVS!“ she shouted “Like, can they fucking realize that he wont notice my videos?. He’s too famous to even take a glimpse of my profile“ she plumetted back to her bed. 

“And what do you know?, huh?, what if he does respond to you and actually thinks that yod u are pretty?“

Grace scoffed “Yeah, like that will ever happen”. 

Grace never really cared about fame, especially since she is only seventeen years old. But people were just going insane over videos of her doing POV’s of random things, funny things, pretending that she was in one of her favorite shows, etc. 

“Hey guys, we still up for that coffee date later on?“ All of them nodded.

It has been a couple of days since the governor had lifted the stay in home order. She’s just happy that she gets to hangout with her friends. 

When they finally decided to hang up on the call, Grace decided to go on tiktok and make a video where she reveals that she has similar powers to eleven. While she thought of those she would also think of some good POV ideas. 

“Shit“ Grace cursed under her breath, she had a mess of clothes in her bed because she couldn't choose what clothes to wear for her new video/s. Then again she had to check her tiktok journal. 

Yes, Grace had ajournal that was specifically dedicated to tiktok. In that notebook she would write down the sounds she would love and gave her ideas for videos. Whenever she liked a sound she would write it with the POV idea alongside a polaroid picture with a description of the POV. 

She opted to wear her typical grunge clothes to do the tiktok video. 

“Maybe i should go on a live just to chat around with my fans“ 

When she instantly went on a live on tiktok more than two thousand people came on it. 

“Well hello you guys!“ she smiled while looking at the camera. She was reading the comments that they were leaving for her. 

randomser445: how old are you? 

user3345: do you have a boyfriend?

girlygirl55: What grade are you in? 

Grace chuckled, all the questions she received were just about her. 

“Well, first of all, I am seventeen years old, no i don’t have a boyfriend and i have recently graduated from my senior year“ she replied

Iamc00ch: how do you feel about your fans spamming finn wolfhard with your videos?

“It made me really uncomfortable because he is a busy guy and i probably think he doesnt have time to look at my profile. So guys, just stop spamming him, please!“ 

Everyone in the live were curious as to why Grace had her eyebrows furrowed and was confused. 

“No fucking way...“ she covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. “Guys im gonna have to end the live, im sorry“. 

Grace couldnt believe her eyes. Was THE Finn wolfhard on her DM’s?, texting HER?. 

finnwoldhardofficial: so you’re the girl that’s been on my timeline this whole time

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IT IS HIM, Grace mentally yelled at herself. She had to compose herself before returning his message back. 

goldencherubin: Oh my gosh, i am so sorry! i can’t believe my fans bombarded you with my videos. I didnt meant that to happen lol. 

finnwolfhardofficial: No worries, i actually liked having a cute girl appear on my timeline 

She felt her heart skip a beat. She just called her cute!. 

goldencherubin: oh- i- You’re gonna make me blush 

finnwolfhardofficial: that’s kind of the point 

Grace and Finn texted what seemed like eternity, and she didnt even mind it one bit. She just still couldnt believe that she was talking to the finn wolfhard, her celebrity crush that is actually the same age as her. 

And it only took one video for him to capture his attention.

[chwesolai]

change up. | lee chan

inspired by change up by seventeen and grease, yes, the movie (you’ll understand why in a second don’t you worry)

university au!

nerd!chan x class clown!y/n

-

chan spent his times in his books, in his studies, in ‘always looking in the future’. he never took a break. but towards the end of his senior year of high school, his parents wanted to reward his hard work and studious efforts. it was post-finals, he finished, he got into the university he dreamed of. 

he was free, finally.

so the trip began, his family packed their bags and the road trip to Daecheon Beach from Iksan. chan and his younger brother remained silent most of the ride, chan's brother playing on his phone, occasionally showing chan the new character he unlocked.

"you're going to fry your brain because of those games," chan scoffs, lifting his head up from reading.

"you're going to become evil because of all those scary books you read."

"then, let me."

the two brothers laugh and slowly immerse themselves into their activities and as the sun sets, the two fall into a deep sleep.

four more hours later and the sun began to warm chan's face, they have arrived.

y/n's parents allowed her to pick this year's summer family vacation, her older sister picked last year and her older brother did the year before. they've been to the us, europe, japan but she just wanted to stay home. but her family just didn't allow that so she picked the beach. 

"THE BEACH? Y/N ARE YOU KIDDING?" her sister wasn't here for that, but her brother backed her up, "hey less money spending for us then. we wouldn't need to exchange money, buy flight tickets, bla bla blah."

"exactly." y/n proud of her decision.

"alright, i guess we could go visit my hometown's beach then," y/n's dad shrugs looking at her mother, who was nodding in agreement, "ok, saving money this trip, I like it. we could stay at mom's house then," it was set.

y/n packing her bags, excited to just bathe in the sun, swim, eat her grandmother's food again, this was her trip.

the car ride was absolutely chaotic.

y/n gained the entire back seat to herself with her two older siblings stuck ripping each others' heads off in the middle seats.

"I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MY LAST TWO POCKY IF YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." 

"ok bet," her brother held out his hand as his little sister handed him a strawberry pocky packet and her older sister then received her chocolate pocky.

"thank you," y/n bathes in the silence as she goes back to her drama.

the two met at y/n's grandmother's restaurant. y/n was peeling oranges as chan's family walks in, if you're offered to earn some money on vacation, you take it, y/n dropped the peeler, telling her grandma she can take this table.

chan pushed up his glasses as he looks up at the possibly cutest girl he's ever laid eyes on. she was definitely she was shorter than him, her hair held back in two braids, she kept her pen behind her ear and she looked just like how chan envisions the female characters in the classic novels he reads.

"hi welcome to kitchen by paradise, i'm y/n and i will be your server today and if you have any questions about any items on the menu, i'll be more than happy to recommend you anything! now, could i get you all anything to drink?"

chan's mom ordered water, his dad got a cola, his brother banana milk and chan didn't have a clue.

"and for you?" y/n says as she turns her attention towards chan.

"u-um. um. do-do-o you guys have any specialty drinks?"

"oh yeah! we grow our own oranges so we have a whole specialty of drinks. we have an orange-hibiscus iced tea, an orangeade, an orange-pineapple refresher and an orange mint sunrise."

"could i get the orange-pineapple one? please?"

"of course, that's my personal favorite," y/n smiles and chan could've sworn his heart melted, "i will get those ready for you guys and again, if you guys have any questions, call out for y/n!"

"thank you!" chan's parents chimed in as y/n walks away.

"channie has a crush channie has a crush." 

"i will drown you." chan glares at his little brother as his cheeks began to flush.

chan never knew he could fall so easily, i guess this is what happens when you're not focused on studying instead of girls, but this charismatic waitress got his attention.

chan watched y/n peel oranges and make the drink he had ordered, almost feeling bad because the drink looked so tedious to make. he saw the tray of drinks coming their way as she finishes pouring the yellow-orangey iced drink.

"here we go!" she places the drinks at the table, handing each drink to its rightful owner, "so are we ready to order?"

y/n took everyone's orders and y/n couldn't help but giggle at this nerdy guy stuttering ordering his seafood bibibimbap.

he's cute i can't deny it.

"alright let me repeat your guys' order and i'll send this to the kitchen!"

-

chan's family finished their meals and had left while y/n was on her break, disappointing chan, so he jumped to this opportunity. his 18 y/o heart couldn't believe himself that he left his number for this cute waitress he just met, i mean she probably is a local here and i'm here for the next two weeks.

y/n couldn't believe either. she smiled that that dorky kid thought she was cute, so she saved his number, texting him around sunset.

to orange boy: hey! this is y/n!

to server girl: hi! i'm chan i can't believe you actually saved my number ha

to orange boy: i just had to thank the guy who called me cute and also thinks my favorite drink is good because its our least popular haha

to server girl: thats surprising its rly good omg

to orange boy: so are you free tomorrow?

to server girl: i think my family is just hanging out tmr why?

to orange boy: my grandma is sending me to the market tomorrow to pick up some ingredients and i know you're here for vacation and i know im just a stranger but idk want to explore the coast tmr?

chan couldn't believe it, in his 18 years of his life, he is being asked to go out. with a girl. and she isn't trying to steal his study book.

y/n couldn't believe herself, she just asked a stranger to go out with her.

to server girl: i'm down wanna pick me up?

to orange boy: tmr 12pm i'll bring us lunch 

to server girl: sounds like a plan, so whats your favorite color?

the two spent all night getting to know each other, learning they're the same age, chan was older by a month and a half, y/n's favorite color is every color and said some picasso joke making chan laugh in his hotel room. they both felt like they've known each other for years.

the next day came and y/n packed her backpack and her scooter for the day, writing down the list her grandmother has told her the night before and then sending a text to chan for his address.

"I'M TAKING THE SCOOTER!" y/n yells as she runs down the stairs, "TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME!"

her family all replying as they hear her leave.

as she makes it to the garage, she ensures she brings the second helmet.

this is a vacation. the wind blowing in her hair as she follows the directions to chan's hotel. her dark blue scooter shimmering in the sunlight and she arrives in front of chan's hotel, rich kid huh?

to orange boy: outside by the lobby!!

chan was already in the lobby for the past ten minutes, didn't want to look like a complete weirdo and come out right when she texted so he waited for a good minutes before walking out. he was wanted to be casual, didn't want to screw anything up with her.

"hey! chan over here!" he walked out seeing the pretty girl from the restaurant on a blue electric scooter? taking off her helmet waving her hand around. he smiled and waved back as he walked towards her.

"this is tomi, my trusty stead," she smiles proudly at her scooter making chan stifle a laugh, leading y/n to laugh at his poor hiding of a laugh, "this is yours, hop on!"

"did not expect this to be the start of my day," he laughs as he puts on the helmet, he gets on the back of the scooter and before y/n turns on the scooter, she grabs chan's arms and to his surprise, wraps them around her stomach, "we're going fast so i don't want you falling off," she turns and smiles at him. what am i feeling right now? butterflies swarm around the two teenagers' stomachs, falling in love before they've even gone out.

"oh o-ok."

and they were off. 

y/n parked the scooter in her usual spot, the noise of the market sang to her and before getting off, she introduces the market, "welcome to daecheon market where old men try to peddle tourists and where local teenagers find the best clothes AND one stand has the BEST fruit produce." 

"y/n i think i should just call you fruit girl because you seem very enthusiastic about them," chan smirks

"i dare you to, orange boy."

"alright fruit girl."

the two laugh as they barely even notice chan's arms are still around y/n, y/n begins to take off her helmet right before she bumps chan in the face with her helmet.

"OH MY GOD! i am so sorry chan oh my god im sorry oh my god i-"

"y/n its ok really," chan laughs at her worried look, "i'm all good no bleeding see?"

"alright im still super sorry i kind of forgot i had a passanger with me," she nervously laughs, im such an idiot what is wrong w me wtf y/n

chan hops off and helps y/n down, "thank you, sir," y/n bows.

"you are very welcome madam," chan bows back, leading them both to laugh once more because of their dorkiness.

"here hold this," y/n opens the scooter compartment and hands chan a camera, "thats my prized possession, keep it safe." she pretends to glare at him but ending up laughing anyways, "you're on picture duty and i am on food duty," y/n pulls out a picnic basket and a large water bottle, "before we explore lets eat!"

y/n leads chan down to a secluded area next to the market, "my siblings and i love coming down here and eating lunch and playing ball. its our secret hideout, and you are a new member of paradise cove, mr chan."

"i'm honored," chan couldn't believe how comfortable he felt around her, a stranger that he had a very long text conversation last night about their favorite colors and whether or not aliens exist. y/n couldn't believe either. why did she feel so bubbly around a kid she met on the job at her grandmother's restaurant?

chan helped her put out a small picnic blanket from the basket and y/n began to pull out the food, “so i remembered your order from the other day and grandma pulled through and made some more this morning and a special touch, an orange-pineapple refresher. dig in!”

-

their picnic was nothing but boring, time passed so quickly while they talked more about the city and high school and where they want to go for univerity, and what they want to be. a convesation nether of the two have had with another human being. they both took some pictures while they were at it, y/n always doing some silly pose when chan had the camera and chan always looking away from the camera. they were comfortable with one another. 

“so, let’s explore the market shall we?” chan standing up, offering his hand to her, she was hesistant at first, “come on y/n i don’t bite,” he laughs, looking away. feeling odd with  his hand out for so long, he looks back at her smiling this time, “i’m feeling a cramp coming on”

standing up, she grabs his hand and pulls him close to her, both of their faces flushed now. y/n had NO idea what she was doing, “can i?” she looked at his lips and then back up at his eyes, prepare for any reaction

“yes,” once y/n heard his answer, his hand caressed the side of y/n’s face and pressed their lips together, almost melting into the kiss. y/n felt her cheeks burn up, the kiss lasted a few seconds but felt like an eternity. pulling away, the two laughed with their eyes closed and foreheads pressed against each other, “so the market?” y/n slowly opened her eyes, seeing the flustered boy in front of her interlocking their hands together.

“i thought you were the romantic,” he smiles back.

-

two spent nearly everyday together. y/n told chan she didn’t live in daecheong, they both knew they were both on vacation and the day one of them was leaving was soon appoarching them. “what will you do without me?” “cry.” “shut up chan” “you asked i answered~!”

chan didn’t want to believe but neither did y/n. their two weeks was up, y/n helped chan pack. “are you really going to cry?” “y/n you’re my first kiss, my first love, my first crush, the first girl that actually has gotten my attention so what do you think?” “now, you’re going to make me cry.” she pouts “y/n you have my number, i have my license, you have a kickass scooter. we have ways to still see each other even if that means our universities are miles apart, we can do this.”

-

to orange boy: i miss you

they couldn’t do it. the long distance lasted about a month and then school started.

to server girl: i’m sorry

chan was at yonsei university and back to his old ways. head in the books, no partying no social interaction just studying. this physical therapy major wasn’t moving an inch.

now, what chan didn’t know was y/n was ALSO at yonsei. this visual arts major was the biggest party animal on campus. she ruled frat parties and she was a good students. her professors loved her and her charm.

- ten months later -

HALLOWEEN

“CHAN! you have to come dude!” chan’s roommate, xuxi, begs him. xuxi was the polar opposite of chan, same age same major COMPLETELY different social class.

“no ‘xi for the last time, i’m not a party guy.”

“chan please dude, its a costume party, nobody will know its you.” chan began to consider it, when was the last time i had fun?

“what are you dressing up as?”  “i’m going to be capt. american because im going as the avengers with mark and the other guys. if you don’t want to be recognized then wear a mask, be a masquarade ball dude? idk wear a suit and a mask, be that DUDE”

“i’m in.” here we go lee chan

to server girl: finally going out with the boys for the first time hope you’re well i miss you

y/n read the text almost immediately, “i wonder where he’s going?”

“who?” y/n’s roommate jungeun asled as she’s doing her makeup.

“some summer fling, he just texted me after like three months.”

“he’s more than a summer fling hon if you saw his text so fast.”

“shut up”

“kiss me,” jungeun stuck her tongue out at her, “so what are you dressing up as y/n?”

“poision ivy, mark said they’re going to be the avengers and so i’m showing him up and being dc’s sexiest villian.”

“you’re such a heartbreaker miss y/n let the boy breathe, he may have cheated but-”

“but nothing! he treated me like a one night stand and i wanted more! im going all out!”

-

chan looked at himself one more time in the mirror and xuxi walked behind him in his captain america outfit, “my son you look so fucking good,” pretending to tear up

“shut up,” chan rolled my eyes, sitting back down on his bunk, “should i still go?”

“YES! you look good dude! can’t even recognize you, you look so different and the contacts? you’re really hiding your identity with this one channie.”

“this is the only night we get to be other people so,” he puts on his lacey masquarade mask he bought from target, ‘let’s go.”

xuxi wraps his arm around him, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

-

“MISS Y/N YOU DID THAT HONEY!”

jungeun and y/n nearly in shock of how well this costume curves around her body.

“green is your color girl,” jungeun sighs, “you knock them dead baby.”

“you look amazing yourself j OMG ms daphne over here.”

“I’m finding my fred tonight ok?” she smiles as she ties her scarf around her neck.

y/n places her red mask on, “i’m heading out!”

“HANG ON!” y/n was practically out the door before jungeon runs out, “ok ready.”

“let’s go fuck shit up.”

-

the party was everything chan was not used to, drinking, loud music, people EVERYWHERE, you could say he was slightly overwhelmed. 

you could say he also wasn't used to the attention around him, girls coming up to ask if they wanna hook up or take a shot with him which he declined all of them until she walked in.

ms poison ivy walked in.

it was about 30 minutes after the party started and y/n walked in like she owned the place, jungeon next to her, y/n walked in red heels and green latex in its full glory.

"i'll go get us drinks!" jungeon pracatically screams in y/n's ear.

"OK!" now alone, chan saw this as an opportunity, still not knowing who that was or even who he was in this moment he walked up to her.

"hi!" y/n was drawn back but the handsome stranger in front of her

"HI!"

"I THINK YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY!"

"THANK YOU! I THINK YOU LOOK PRETTY HOT YOURSELF! LET ME GUESS, a VAMPIRE?"

the music got increasingly louder as this conversation went on so chan yelled back, "NOT EXACTLY, IM A MASQUERADE BALL HOST"

y/n felt eyes beaming her up and down and she saw him, mark, and before he could come any closer, y/n kissed this handsome stranger in front of him.

chan had no idea what was going on but he really didn't care anymore, this kiss began to be a full makeout session in the middle of the dance floor.

"IM SORRY BUT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?"

"YEAH I DO ACTUALLY"

 both of them walk out of the loud frat house, "so who do i owe this honor to mr masquerade man?"

"chan, i'm chan. how about you?"

"i'm sorry did you say c-chan?"

y/n hasn't heard that name in what feels like ages until today.

"yes? is something wrong?"

was it really him?

"no its just i knew someone named chan awhile back, ha." she sadly smiled.

it can't be him chan was never this bold.

"ah i see, how about you ms poison ivy?"

"y/n"

"y/n huh?"

"yes, what about it?

"do you still have that blue scooter?" chan takes off his mask and turns to face the girl he's been wondering about for so long.

"c-chan?"

"long time no see huh?"

"i-i-i didn't even recognize you? where're your glasses? did you get your braces off too? your hair's lighter, you look really good, chan," she sighs in disbelief.

"college does stuff to you i guess," he nervously rubs the nape of his neck, "and you? wow. i didn't think someone could look so gorgeous in latex." he smiles all goofy.

"chan."

"y/n?"

pulling herself into his chest, "i've missed you, im sorry for being an asshole, im sorry for saying those things i shouldve held on im sorry im-"

"nothing is your fault y/n, look at me," he pulls her out of his chest, "i'm here now! we just needed time i guess," he lets out a small laugh.

"now you're the jokester mr lee."

"lets restart. hi im chan."

"hi im y/n," she smiles and takes his hand in hers, "lets never leave again."

"yes ms poison ivy."

“never call me that again.”

[lebritneeey]

Second Chance (2/??)

inspired by don’t wanna cry, lie again and second life & a little idea from reply 1997 and 1988.

genre: romance. fluff, angst, love rivals etc lmao 

pairing: y/n x ??? (svt)

a/n: hi guys! so my imagination started running after listening to dwc, lie again and second life on repeat lmao. i’ve always love reading angsty fics and so i came up with this series based on these three songs! disclaimer!! if there’s any similarity with other fics, it is coincidental, everything written here is based on my idea! no to plagiarism!! also, pics and gifs here are NOT mine! hope you guys enjoy this series i might be posting this on aff too so don’t be alarm if you come across it on aff! enjoy!

SERIES MASTERLIST

What if you could get a second chance at love? What if it was the wrong time but the right person all along? Would you take it? This second chance?

Meet y/n, a 25 year old girl who had to revisit the city she once loved, Seoul. It was a city filled with both good and bad memories for her. When she left, she swore never to return. But here she is, back in Seoul, hoping to not run into a certain old flame that might reopen old wounds and remind her of how broken hearted she was back then.

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

chapter 2: hello, stranger

nov 2020, seoul, 12:25pm (KST) 

After getting up early in the morning and going through what seemed like four hours of meetings, y/n finally finishes her work for the day and decided to spend the rest of the afternoon walking around the streets of Seoul. 

Having eaten only a small sandwich for breakfast, her stomach was calling for some food. She decided to stopped by a Chinese restaurant for some jjajangmyeon. 

“Welcome~” The restaurant owner greeted her. Y/n smiled in response and was led to a table. She looked around fondly. She remembered this restaurant. Back when she was having her exchange, she, Hana and Choyi would always pop by this place for some jjajangmyeon and sweet and sour pork. 

Flashback to feb 2017, 10:48pm (KST) 

“Omg I am starving! UGH.” Hana complained as the girls settled down at their table at a Chinese restaurant. They had been on campus since morning and just got out an hour ago because of some evening studying session. “Then order whatever you guys want! I’m treating since you two stayed an extra two hours with me.” Y/n passed them the menu. “Call! You said it!” Choyi flips through the menu excitedly. 

Because it was quite late in the evening, there weren’t much people in the restaurant. “Thankfully this place is twenty-four seven! If not we’d have to eat some cup noodles at home” Choyi pouts. Y/n chuckled, “I heard they serve one of the best sweet and sour pork!” 

Just as their orders arrived, three suspicious looking guys, all dressed in black hoodies and masks entered the restaurant. “Psst, look over there. Three men looking very suspicious..” Hana nodded in their direction. 

“Omg, do you think they’re here to rob the restaurant?!” Choyi whispered. Y/n’s eyes widened and took another look at them. The three guys took their seat just one table away from the girls. One of them even turned to look at them which caused the girls to immediately break eye contact and went back to eating their noodles. 

“Oh? Aren’t you all the girls we met at the Golden Disc Awards show? Erm, one of you is Joohyeon hyung’s girlfriend right?” 

The girls looked at each other, confused before recognising the voice, heads snapping into the direction. 

“Oh my gosh! Are you Dino from Seventeen?” Choyi asked, in a little shock that a celebrity was beside them. Dino grinned and waved. “We meet again!” 

The other two sat their menu downs and greeted them as well. 

“Omg, hello hello. You’re S.Coups right?! and Woozi?! Oh my gosh oh MY GOSH.” Choyi exclaimed while Hana gave her a little pinched and asked her to lower her voice. 

Y/n blinked a few times before waving at the three members of Seventeen. “Hello! Are you guys having a late dinner now?” S.coups nodded, “we just finished practice and the three of us felt like having some Chinese food so here we are.” 

"Hey is it okay if we moved to the table beside you all? Since we are all acquainted with each other, it would be nice to eat together!” Dino asked in a chirpy tone. Woozi slapped him gently on the back, “don’t be so rude, they probably don’t want anybody intruding their meal time.”

“Actually it’s fine, it’s nice to eat together! Plus, there’s only us in the restaurant now.” Y/n smiled, looking at Woozi who blushed in response, feeling shy as he awkwardly grabbed his bowl and utensils and moved to the table beside the girls. 

“Thank you, it’s nice to see you all again especially since we didn’t talk much backstage that time.” S.Coups said as he poured a few glasses of water and passing it to them. 

“No worries, Joohyeon oppa has always spoken highly of you guys. He says Seventeen really has a lot of potential to be world stars soon!” Hana grinned as she took a sip of water. 

The guys laughed, feeling a little embarrassed and shy at her comment. “You know what, let me offer to pay for you girls’ meals since I am already buying Woozi and Dino’s.” S.Coups said. 

Y/n shooked her head, “oh no no, it’s alright! You don’t need to.” S.Coups smiled at her, “but I want to.” Y/n sighed and gave an ‘okay’ sign. “If you insist.” She chuckled, digging into her noodles. 

////

11:15pm (KST) 

At the end of their meal, S.Coups went to the cashier to pay for the meals. As he reached into his pocket for his wallet, he started panicking. Shoots, I thought it was in my pocket all along?! Why is it not inside?! He started digging through his other pocket but there were no signs of his wallet. 

“Erm, ahjumma, do you accept Apple pay?” The restaurant owner shooked her head, “cash only my dear.” He sighed. He was feeling so embarrassed especially since he insisted the girls that he would pay for their meals as well. He knew Woozi and Dino had left their wallets at home too since after all, he did told them that he was buying for them. 

“Is everything okay?” Y/n went over to the cashier after noticing how troubled he was. S.Coups avoided eye contact and rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Erm, I kinda forgot to bring my wallet and it’s cash payment here only so..” 

Y/n chuckled as she reached for her wallet. “No worries, I’ll get this.” S.Coups felt bad plus letting a girl pay for his AND his younger members’ meal?! Gosh, this is not how a gentleman should be. 

“But--” Y/n looked at him with a reassuring smile and handed some money to the cashier. “Don’t worry about it! Someone has to pay for the meals right? How do you pay if you forgot to bring your wallet?” S.Coups sighed and gave himself a face palm. “I am so sorry. Erm, can I have your number?” 

Y/n raised her eyebrows at him. “Oh as in, so I could contact you and pay you back!” 

“Oh, no worries! It’s fine!” S.Coups shooked his head, “I insist, I would feel much better if I pay you back!” 

Y/n sighed and nodded as he passed her his phone. Thus, they exchanged numbers and the group said their goodbyes before heading their separate ways. 

////

11:34pm (KST)

“What?! He forgot his wallet and so he asked for your number promising to pay you back?! I smell some flirting going on here~” Choyi said in a singing tone as the girls entered their shared apartment. 

“It’s a friendly gesture only Cho!” Y/n said as she opened the refrigerator for some ice cream. 

“He is being a gentleman though that S.Coups. What do you think of him?” Hana asked as she plopped down the sofa and on the tv. 

Y/n passed her some ice cream and sat down beside her. “He’s just a friendly guy! Who by the way, is a kpop star so don’t think about this whole exchanging of numbers too much alright.”   

Choyi waggled her finger in front of Y/n, “no no no, it’s a big deal because Y/n! Do you know how many Carats would DIE for like Choi Seungcheol’s number?!” 

“Choi Seungcheol? Who’s that?” Y/n asked as she took a scoop of ice cream. 

“It’s S.Coups real name! Oh my my my, looks like I gotta give you a lesson on Seventeen if you’re gonna end up dating one of them.” 

“NO ONE is dating anyone omg! Okay, I’m feeling sleepy so I’ll head to bed while you two continue writing your fanfictions!” Y/n said as she walked into her room. Those two and their imaginations. It’s not a big deal, all she did was give her number to a kpop star because he wants to pay her back some money. That’s it. No biggie. 

////

Seventeen’s dorm, 12:17am (KST)

“I still can’t believe you forgot your wallet hyung!” Dino chimed as they entered their dorm. “Wow hyung, isn’t that a little embarrassing?” Woozi added. 

“Ugh, I didn’t mean to forget my wallet! And yes I know, it’s super embarrassing.” He laid down on the sofa and covered his face with his hands, feeling super embarrassed. 

“What’s embarrassing?” Jeonghan asked as he came out of the shower. 

Soon, Dino proceeded to tell the rest of the members what happened at the restaurant. “You guys met the cute girls?! Ugh, knew I should have went with yall!” Jun whined. 

“Wow hyung, you should have checked your pockets before saying anything” Seungkwan laughed. “At least she was kind enough to pay for everything instead. What’s her name again? Y/n?” Joshua said. 

S.Coups nodded as he sighed. “Ah, i better text her and thank her once more.” He got up and went to his room. “Wow, he even got her number?!” Hoshi looked at the rest, eyes widening. Some of them shrugged as they scattered off to their rooms. Jun pouts and stalked off to his room, “Aw man, I want her number too..” 

///

Seungcheol smiled as he placed his phone on his nightstand. Y/N.. A pretty name for a pretty girl. 

///

nov 2020, seoul, 1:28pm (KST) 

After having some good old jjajangmyeon for lunch, Y/N headed to the cafe next door for some coffee and cakes. The cafe owner greeted her happily as she recognises y/n still after so long.

“Welcome~ Oh, it’s been a while!” 

“Hello!” Y/n replied. “It’s been a while, do you still recognised me?” She asked as she browse through the menu board. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I? You’re a very pretty girl! I remember how you and your friends always visited my cafe along with a few handsome boys as well!” Y/N chuckled, nodding at the fond memories. 

“Back then I could tell these boys adore you so much. If my memory is correct..” The owner frowned for a moment, trying to recall something. “You were dating one of them right? The handsome boy with big eyes.” 

Y/n just smiled and handed her a card for payment. “I promise to stop by the next time I’m in Korea.” 

////

Flashback to feb 2017, seoul, Hello Stranger cafe, 11:26am (KST)

Y/n took a sip of her vanilla latte as she waited in the cafe. It was quite early so there weren’t much people around plus it was a weekday as well so the cafe was empty. 

ding ding 

The bell rang as the cafe door opened. Seungcheol came in, wearing a mask and hoodie as usual. He waved the moment he saw Y/n but he wasn’t alone. Two others were following him behind. 

Y/n stood up and greeted them. “Hey y/n, these are my members, you would have seen them backstage the other time. Mingyu and Jeonghan.” 

Mingyu waved and said hi before going to the cashier to place his order. 

“Nice to meet you again y/n!” Jeonghan said as he sat opposite her. Y/N smiled, “nice to meet you again too Jeonghan! Oh and thank you for that time!” 

Seungcheol looked between the two of them, confused. “That time?” 

“I got lost backstage and Jeonghan was the one who brought me to you guys’ dressing room to find my friends.” Y/n replied sheepishly. 

“Here’s some coffee~” Mingyu came with some coffee and cakes. Jeonghan took a slice and passed it to Y/n. “Heard the cakes are quite delicious here so have a slice.” Y/n thanked him and took a bite of the chocolate cake. “Gosh, the chocolate cake just melts in your mouth!!” Y/n did a little happy dance and took a few more bites. Seungcheol chuckled, pushing her coffee near her. 

“Eat slowly so you don’t choke.” Y/n smiled at him and took a sip. Seungcheol took a sip of his coffee, feeling bashful. The four of them then spend the rest of the afternoon chatting happily until the sun started to set. 

///

nov 2020, Hello Stranger cafe, 1:39pm (KST)

“Knew we would find you here!” Choyi and Hana entered the cafe and sat opposite y/n at her table. “When you texted us that you were having lunch at the Chinese restaurant, we knew you would come here after for some deserts.” Choyi said as she stood up to order some drinks, “Hana, ice americano?” Hana nodded. 

“Don’t you have to be at the dance studio right now?” Y/n asked Hana. Apparently after college, Hana and Joohyeon, after leaving Pledis, decided to set up their own dance studio. Hana’s involved with the whole business aspect of it whereas Joohyeon does the teaching and other dance related stuff. “Nah, the staff can do without me for a few hours. Plus, oppa’s at dance camp so I’m free to be with you today!” 

“Looks like they added more flavors onto the menu! Wow, I really haven’t been here for so long.” Choyi said as she set the tray full of drinks and cakes down. “After I went back home you guy haven’t stop by since?” Y/n took a bite from her favorite chocolate lava cake. 

Hana and Choyi shooked their heads. “After you left.. there’s no point coming here often. This cafe held too many memories..” 

“Oh, do you guys remember that wall?” The girls turned to where Choyi was looking. At one corner of the cafe, there was a wall whereby it was filled with scribbles and different messages. “The one whereby lots of couples will write their initials on it?” Hana asked as the trio walked to it. 

Y/n stared at the wall, searching for something. 

“Oh y/n, your initials are still here! Wow..” Y/n went to where Hana was and stared at it. Indeed, her initials were still there. 

y/n ❤︎ ...

“But it seemed like the other half has faded..” Choyi pointed out. True enough, the ink had faded and it was hard to make out what the other initials were. Even the ink knew we wouldn’t last. Y/n thought feeling disappointed. “Oh well, what’s not meant to be will not be.” 

ding ding 

The bell to the cafe door rang as it opened. Then, a chirpy voice was heard. “Ahjumma! We have thirteen orders again!” 

The girls turned around to find three familiar faces staring at them. 

“Y/n?” 

[thenovelartist]

Falling for the Dork, set 5

<<Previous set  Next set>>

14.      The Valentine

They’d been friends for a year and a half now. And Marinette had had a crush on him about a month less than that. Meaning Marinette had been sitting on her hands for about seventeen months now.

It was time for her to do something about that.

She had spent the first thirteen days of February writing and rewriting a love confession to Adrien. Thirteen days making a pretty, decorated, heart-shaped card to put said love confession on.

Then Valentine’s day rolled around.

And she completely chickened out.

Instead of giving it to Adrien directly, she shoved it in his locker.

Coward.

All throughout the school day, she was just waiting for Adrien to bring up the card. But he never did. And honestly, her heart continued sinking throughout the day.

“Do you want to do something for Valentine’s day?” Adrien asked after school had ended.

Marinette blushed bright red. “Wh-what?”

“I don’t have anything better to do, and I haven’t been able to hang out with you for a few days.”

“O-oh,” Marinette said, heart deflating. “I thought you were talking, like, for Valentine’s.”

“No,” Adrien dismissed with an easy grin. “Just hang out together. You know I don’t have anyone.”

Her heart was cracking. “What? No one came up and confessed their undying love to you?” She said it as a joke, and she hoped beyond hope he didn’t realize she was fishing for anything.

“Actually,” he said, his smile fading a bit. “I did get a love confession.”

“Oh yeah?” Marinette asked, her heart fluttering nervously.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t signed.”

And her heart flat out stopped.

“I feel bad about throwing it away or anything,” he said. “Because they obviously out a lot of thought and effort in it, but at the same point, I don’t know who it is.”

Say it! Marinette’s mind screamed. Tell him, idiot!

“And it’s kind of a shame,” Adrien continued. “Because statistically speaking, high school relationships don’t last, you know? Why get in one only for it to last a year/year and a half and then break up when school ends because you split to different colleges and all that? So, I feel bad about it, but I want to wait and give my whole heart to the girl I see myself spending my life with, you know? Why casually date during high school?”

Marinette’s mouth snapped shut, unable to respond to that. Her heart hurt, a lot. But at the same point… she could see where Adrien was coming from. She found it good advice, to be honest. And that he thought that way because he wanted to give his all to the girl he would end up marrying…

“That’s super romantic,” she managed to say. Because that was the truth.

Adrien’s smile was gentle and sweet. “My mom told me that,” he said. “My dad was the first person my mom ever dated because she said that there are a lot of people out there in the world and it’s easy to give your heart to anyone you feel anything for. But if you give your heart out too much, how much will you have left for your one true love?”

“Your mom was really wise.”

“Yeah,” Adrien said. “That little piece of advice stuck with me. She was a model but she was also really smart. She learned early on that there are a lot of people willing to fawn over her, but she learned to distinguish what was love and what wasn’t. That’s how she knew my dad was the one. Because there was more between them than attraction and she was willing to take the risk on him.”

“That’s really beautiful,” Marinette said. Because it was. That was fully the truth.

“I always thought so,” Adrien said, his voice soft with remembrance.

Marinette sighed. Her heart wasn’t broken per se, but battered and bruised it was. “Do you want to come over for chocolate cupcakes and Ultimate Mecha Strike three?” Her heart was going to need a little more than that, but she would temper her sweet tooth around Adrien today. She’d nurse her battered heart with ice cream later.

Adrien grinned. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  15.      Love Rivals

Adrien did not like this feeling. It was a very bad feeling. An ugly feeling. Another guy could flirt with Marinette, and Marinette could flirt back.

So what was this awful tightness in his chest?

“Dude, green-eyed monster much?”

Adrien glared at Nino. “What are you even talking about?”

Nino gave him a flat look. Not surprising. Adrien knew his voice was too aggressive for that question to be serious.

“She’s just a friend,” Adrien said. “She can flirt with some slick rock star if she wants to.”

“You don’t want her to,” Nino said.

“Not the point,” Adrien growled.

“Totally the point.”

Adrien glared at Nino once more before turning back to glare at the guy flirting up a storm. And Marinette seemed to be eating up his flattery.

Adrien squashed a growl in his throat.

“Just don’t kill Luka with that death glare, ‘k bro?”

Adrien should just deny it. He wasn’t jealous. He. Wasn’t. Jealous.

“No promises, Nino.”

He was jealous.

  16.      Beach

They weren’t seniors. And they weren’t American. But when Kim found out about the traditional “senior ditch day” the Americans held as tradition, he and Alix decided to pull the class on board. Besides, it was going to be a very hot day and the school’s A/C system was broken thanks to a dare between Kim and Alix.

Marinette didn’t want to know how that happened, and Kim and Alix weren’t telling.

So, after convincing the class that it was only one day, they threw caution to the wind and organized to meet up at the train station and commute together to the beach.

It was a two-hour trip, but they entertained themselves well enough. And when they got to the beach, the last dredges of regret faded away. It wasn’t too full, which was understandable for a Wednesday when school was still in session. It also meant they had quite a bit of room to romp and play.

“You know,” Alya began, laying out on her beach towel as she watched the guys strip out of their shirts and race to the water. “Today was a great idea.”

“You just want to see Nino shirtless,” Alix quickly interjected. “Just like Marinette wants to see Adrien shirtless.”

Marinette sputtered. “I do not!”

“Yeah, you do,” came the chorus from the girls.

Marinette didn’t argue. Because… she kinda did.

“Let’s be fair,” Alya said, her voice full of teasing. “I want to see just how cute nerd boy is. Marinette can’t have anything other than the best.”

“Hey, Marinette.”

The girls all turned to the voice, only to see Adrien approaching. Shirtless, wet, hair slicked back, and a crooked smile on his face. “You coming or not! Water’s great.”

“Yeah,” Marinette said, trying not to look him over even though she very much wanted to. “Give me a minute.”

Grinning, he nodded and turned around to head back toward the water.

“Wow,” Alya whispered.

Mylene hummed her agreement.

“So handsome!” Rose quietly squealed

“Not bad,” Alix said with a smirk.

“You guys,” Marinette hissed, stripping out of her tee-shirt dress cover-up to reveal her ladybug swimsuit.

“Girl,” Alya said, “You scored. He’s like… a ten!”

Marinette knew that. She’s known that for ages. And he only keeps getting better. “Hotness doesn’t have a thing to do with it.”

“It’s just a bonus, right?”

“Exact—wait.”

Alya smirked. “Don’t deny it. You like him. He’s hot. Just wish he was a little less nerdy.”

“He’s perfect,” Marinette snipped. “Besides, what does it matter? He doesn’t like me in that way.”

“That’s not what his face said when you were stripping out of your dress.”

Marinette froze, her blood running cold as her face heated up.

“Omg!” Alya said, spinning to see Juleka. “You mean I missed him checking her out?”

Juleka smirked. “And he liked what he saw.”

Scratch that, Marinette’s cheeks were on fire.

It took a moment for her to gather her wits, especially when her friends were totally freaking out on her. Only then did Marinette finally make it to the water.

Throughout the day, Marinette couldn’t help but sneak glances at Adrien, wondering if he really could have been checking her out—and maybe checking him out in the process.

  17.      Confession

It was after the beach trip he really couldn’t hide it any more. He really liked Marinette. Seeing her in a ladybug swimsuit was his undoing. Never mind the swimsuit was one piece, it still showed off plenty of skin and her trim little figure and he was just…

He was a goner.

It was the first day of summer vacation, and Marinette was more than happy to invite him over even though she was exhausted from studying.

“Princess,” he purred. “Were you staying up too late again?”

She nodded. “How do you always notice?”

“Because I just beat you at UMS three. Twice in a row.”

Marinette sighed, letting the controller fall into her lap. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not really up for competition today.”

“I can tell.”

She leaned over, collapsing against his side and settling her head on his shoulder.

Adrien grinned, his heart racing at the contact. “Take a nap.”

“But you’re here,” she bemoaned. “I don’t want you to go.”

He didn’t really want to go either. “Tell you what, Princess,” he said. “Why don’t we watch a movie instead. And you can nap through it if you want. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

She blinked a couple times at him before a small smile crossed her face. “I like that idea.”

Marinette grabbed her laptop, then the duo climbed up to Marinette’s bed. Adrien propped himself up against the pile of pillows and plushies before pulling Marinette close to his side.

She tensed for a moment, and Adrien briefly wondered if it was too much, but then she relaxed, making herself at home against him. Adrien quite liked the feeling.

The computer was placed on Adrien’s lap, and Marinette booted up a movie they both enjoyed, only to crash out fifteen minutes into the film.

Forgetting the movie, Adrien looked down at the sleeping beauty against his chest. He couldn’t help but smile and took a long moment to relish this feeling; the warmth that bloomed in his chest, spreading out to every inch of his body.

Eventually, the urge became too strong and he pressed a light kiss into her hair. “I care for you so much, my princess,” he whispered.

If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn she smiled in her sleep.

[loplainlointhemorning]

Omg your tags... Can you talk more about your songwriting pls? I'm at that point now where I'm just trying to finish as many songs as I can, not caring so much abt the quality bc otherwise I will never finish one. I still only have a few, I'm trying to learn the process and what works for me. But it's so encouraging to hear someone else talk abt this like I keep comparing myself to famous ppl I listen to and it feels like they just have a gift and I don't

dude, I have been comparing myself to artists I look up to constantly, ever since I got into music at fourteen, wondering why I’m not good enough. I think it’s normal. The truth is, when you stop listening so much to beginner’s self doubt, perfectionism, and in my case, chronic anxiety, everybody is the same. The people who are really good are really good because they sat down and fucked around with instruments long enough to understand them, the people who are really good are really good because they love what they do, and all of them wrote shitty songs in their late teens/early 20s/whenever they started out. I have(and still do) beat myself up for everything from writing too fast to writing too slow, for taking months long breaks because of mental health issues, for lyrics that my band laughed at, for only knowing how to play one instrument, the list goes on...But I comfort myself with facts like these:

PJ Harvey was asked about her first ever song in an interview from 1995 and that’s the closest I’ve seen her come to blushing; She said it was about a girl going on an adventure and that it was awful. She reiterated in a magazine that most of her earliest work was ‘terrible’ and heavily influenced by Irish folk music, meaning, apparently, that it was full of tin whistles. It took her years before she was comfortable playing her orginal music in front of other people(and if you watch her early Dry performances, she’s not even all that comfortable in the first place.) The important thing is, PJ Harvey hated her early songs.

Nick Cave said that he was ashamed of the Birthday Party’s discography up until Junkyard and that he didn’t like to think about those albums. Nick Cave hated his early songs- And Nick Cave is partially famous DUE to these early songs, go figure.

Courtney Love bashes Hole’s first album Pretty On The Inside nearly constantly, calling it ‘unlistenable’ and saying it was more about her persona being established than making good music. Courtney Love hated her early songs- and, once again, her band was given its name and image because of them.

I BEG you to listen to five seconds of David Bowie’s first album, which he doesn’t discuss.

If these people, who mean the world to me and have saved hoards of others from personal destruction, had given up bc they were Bad at a young and inexperienced age we wouldn’t have their music and it’s not an exaggeration to say that that would have ended in suicide for a big number of people. If you can get your ego in place, you can believe the same about your music, and the thing that’s going to keep you motivated more than anything else is Ego.

We live in a world right now where popular music lacks human hands and clumsiness and rawness and so the fact that both of us are, against the odds, composing music that still reflects those things is a rebellion. It’s important that we keep writing, not just because we deserve to be good songwriters because we care about it, but because for music to evolve there needs to be a constant underground of young people with limited skills trying their best. Plus, if we’re both lucky, we’ll end up saving people the same way we were saved and if it takes a few notebooks of three note trauma songs to get there then fine(besides, who doesn’t love a good three-note trauma song?).

But beyond the ‘glory’ of it(and I think to do anything artistic you have to romanticize it to a certain degree), I started songwriting seriously at the end of a bad relationship when I was sixteen, nearly seventeen. When that relationship ended, I wrote constantly. I wrote about everything. My main influences were Bikini Kill and The Runaways and I hadn’t developed my seriousness towards lyrics yet so anything went. I’d write three songs in a week, realize that two were bad and play the third one for my band only to get laughed at for writing something like “I swallow Clorox” which was a confessional thing about suicidal thoughts that hurt my feelings, but wasn’t articulated well.

I wrote Nirvana knock-off songs and I wrote Hole knock-off songs and I half finished at least one hundred different things and I have three notebooks filled with them, the latter half being the worst fake-Nick Cave writing I have ever read. From all of 2018, during which I probably wrote 30-35 songs, I have two that I would actually put on an album and three that I can remember/still like. Once I got my mental health under control, I did the same thing for the bulk of 2019. This stage you’re at is NOTHING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT. It’s like making stuff out of Play-Doh or fingerpainting. It’s FUN and you’re learning, Extremely Quickly, a million different skills that you’re going to need over the course of your life. Lyric writing, the classic verse/chorus/verse, how to invert that, experimental tactics, particular playing styles that you like, playing styles that you HATE, etc.

And the best part about it is that some of your songs are good! Some of them have good parts that you’ll take out later to put into better songs! You’re probably sitting on two or three good songs at the moment, maybe even more, maybe you’ve got a whole album of brilliant material and you just don’t know it. In thirty years your demos could work like Vashti Bunyan’s and be the proto-whatever of a new genre. I really don’t want to make you think that all your material right now is bad, because that idea has actually been super detrimental to me and is a shitty narrative pushed to push beginners. I’m saying that it’s OKAY for you to be bad, that even experienced people write bad shit, but that if you think you’ve written some bangers they deserve to be recognized as such.

To close, new phase that I was talking about, the quality over quantity phase, is definitely something I had to work up to. 90% of it is taking in enough new music to understand what you really want from yourself, and the rest of it is gaining enough confidence to willingly let other people hear what you do. I only started taking my shit this seriously in late December of last year because I knew people would be hearing it, and that has its set backs too: My perfectionism is crazy right now and I have to kick back against it all the time. The perks of getting to the point where you can hone yourself are that you build real relationships with your songs, and that you have some idea of what you want. But I also think that it’s healthy to go through the quantity over quality phase over and over again throughout the course of your career, because there’s no way to really write in a new style unless you keep going back to frenzied experimentation. If we both end up pursuing this long term, we’ll probably have to work on Finishing over Perfecting a million times over, and its best to make peace with it now.

I am so sorry that this is like. A million paragraphs but another important aspect of songwriting is procrastinating by being on tumblr so!!! You’re doing just fine. Keep up the good work, and feel free to talk to me or share music with me anytime. I hope this helps, or at least isn’t a boring read.

[darkpoisonouslove]

I’d love a winx drabble with #4 or #49! Thanks, your writing’s so good :)

Omg, thank you so much, anon! If you ever feel like it, you can come off anon and we can chat. And even if you don’t want to do that, I hope you will continue to enjoy my content!

Sorry this took some time. Uni is hell for my sleeping schedule and my brain refuses to cooperate without enough sleep so I’m kinda at a loss here. Here are your prompts:

49 – shake

Some Griffin and Faragonda friendship with a healthy dose of angsting over Valtor.

Griffin rubbed her hands over her arms as she stood on the Alfea rooftop, trying to warm herself up. Last time she’d checked, it was supposed to be late spring. However, nature seemed to have forgotten about that if the temperature was anything to judge by. If she’d known it would be so cold, she would’ve declined Faragonda’s proposition to stay after the celebration and do some stargazing now that the threat was eliminated.

“Are you okay?” Faragonda’s voice behind her back startled her–she hadn’t expected the question–even though she’d known she was there. The fairy hadn’t let her out of her sight for a moment and, frankly, she was starting to feel a little suffocated. She knew Faragonda was just being protective but it was over. Everything was over. They had no reason to fear anything anymore.

“Peachy,” she snipped. “You should have included a warning for extreme weather conditions in your invitation.” She started pacing, hoping to chase away the chills that were having a field day running through her entire being.

“Griffin,” Faragonda’s hand on her shoulder nearly had her jump, for she’d left her at the other end of the rooftop with her casual stroll. And it felt more like she’d just gripped at her throat, the restless energy inside her piling up by the second now that she was forced to stop. “I remember seeing you shake this hard only once before.” Faragonda was thoughtful enough to at least remove her hand now that the words were weighing her down and holding her in place. “Seventeen years ago.”

Griffin shut her eyes as a sob left her mouth. It was as much a sound of despair as it was of relief. At least she didn’t have to hold it in and pretend everything was okay now that Faragonda knew. Yet, that in no way changed the truth. And the truth was she should have never felt like that. Not seventeen years ago, and not now. And she didn’t know how to handle any of that so she turned to Faragonda for help.

“You knew he was still out there?” Faragonda asked and even though the curtain of tears blocked her vision, Griffin knew the gentleness that would meet her from Faragonda’s gaze if she could see. She’d never judged her before and no matter what the irrational fear whispered in her ears, she wouldn’t start now. Griffin knew that as surely as she knew her own thoughts.

“I hoped that…” Another sob got in the way of her words and she took a deep breath because she needed to finish that sentence. Left like that it insinuated something so wrong, something insane. “I hoped that he was gone and I wouldn’t feel anything this time.” She hiccuped, and she had to hate him just for that, for she couldn’t remember when was the last time she’d cried so hard. “After everything he’s done…” She couldn’t finish that thought. Couldn’t admit out loud that he still had a place in her heart. Not after what he’d done to her friends and students.

“Shh,” Faragonda soothed as she pulled her in her embrace, wrapping her arms around her and cradling her head with her hand just like she’d done seventeen years ago. And after all this time, it still worked. The warmth of their friendship was enough even against the cold of his absence and she held on to Faragonda like her life depended on it. Because it felt like it did. “He was filled with hatred and look where it got him.” Well, neither of them knew exactly what had happened to him. Only that he was gone. She could feel it in her soul, and it was more than weird, for he wasn’t any more lost to her now than he’d been when he’d been standing in front of her, and yet, the thought of his demise hurt. More than it was supposed to. Though, that wasn’t really a good measure since she shouldn’t have felt anything for him from the moment she’d learned what kind of demon she was dealing with. “Love is never a mistake in itself,” Faragonda whispered with such conviction that it was hard not to believe it.

Love. She’d made the biggest mistakes in her life in its name. And she’d also done the right thing in spite of her feelings. So Faragonda had a point there. She always did, and Griffin could count on her to show her the truth that had her muscles relax and the shaking subside.

4 – numb

More Griffin and Faragonda friendship and warnings for post-war background and heavy angst.

There was a knock on the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone but she didn’t startle like she’d used to do when she’d been sleep deprived and constantly on edge from the endless planning and the enormous stakes of the war. But not anymore. She couldn’t feel much these days. In fact, she only felt numb, and she told herself it was better that way even when she knew it was a lie.

“Come in,” she said, for she figured that if it was anyone she didn’t want to see, they would’ve walked in already without bothering to request permission from her.

And indeed, when the door opened, she was met with Faragonda’s face. She didn’t seem exactly happy–Griffin doubted anyone could be after what they’d witnessed in the final battle–but she was still much more cheerful than Griffin could deal with. “Hey,” Faragonda greeted as she walked in, her voice nowhere near its usual joyful sound but it would get there, Griffin knew. The fairy always found a way to pick up the broken pieces, and even if she sometimes joked it was a pixie thing, she knew better. It was a Faragonda thing. And she admired her for the beautiful display of quiet strength.

“Hey.” She forced herself to smile for Faragonda’s sake. Her friend was making steady steps towards recovery and she didn’t want her own lack of progress to set her back. She didn’t want to drag her back to that pit of despair that their memories of the war were. They had to move on. And just because she couldn’t, didn’t mean she had to get in the way of everyone else.

“Packing?” Faragonda asked as she sat down on her bed, eying her suitcase that was nearly empty, and not just by fairy standards.

“Yeah,” Griffin said as she moved her gaze through the room, pretending she was looking for things she needed to grab and throw in the suitcase when the truth was that she’d already packed everything that she wouldn’t need until her departure the next day. She hadn’t had much to begin with after she’d left the Coven, and most of what she’d had, had been destroyed along with the entire planet of Domino. The only personal belongings she had–the only ones she’d cared about–were gone. Even the flower hairpin from Faragonda was lost since she hadn’t taken it with her into battle. She only had the clothes she’d been wearing, those she’d been provided with in the Fortress of Light and a few books that had been recovered from one of their safe houses. And most of her friends were alive. It was more than she could have hoped for.

“Where to now?” Faragonda asked and if the upbeat tone sounded somewhat forced and her eyes seemed to glimmer with tears, Griffin pretended not to notice. If she were any less selfish, she would ask Faragonda what was torturing her. (She knew. It was the same thing that tormented all of them.) But she couldn’t witness her friend break down. It would be too much.

“Home,” she said, all of her resolve going into making the word louder than a whisper and forcing herself not to choke on its acrid taste so she couldn’t make herself seem even remotely excited. There was no home for her anymore. She’d lost the right to call her realm home when she’d passed its secrets into Valtor’s hands. And she didn’t even dare think about how much being in his arms had felt like home.

Faragonda nodded, cutting her gaze from hers. “Start anew,” she said but the bitter chuckle that followed was something Griffin had never expected to hear from her. It set off all kinds of alarms in her head. “As if it’s that easy,” Faragonda shook her head, the tears streaming down her face and Griffin could swear they would both drown in them if she didn’t do something to stop them. “After what we’ve been through…” Faragonda’s voice broke and morphed into a sob.

“Hey, hey, I’ve got you,” Griffin soothed as she rushed to her and sat down on the bed as well, taking Faragonda’s hand in hers and wiping away the tears from her cheeks with her free hand, only to feel the sorrow soaking up into her skin and leaving her frozen, unable to help her friend.

“I don’t know what to do,” Faragonda cried, the words hitting far too close to home and if her vision wasn’t blurred by the tears, she would’ve noticed the pain crossing Griffin’s face which would’ve led to a whole new cause for crying. “Everyone expects me to just go on and return to being a guardian fairy for my realm but how am I supposed to do that when I was there to watch an entire planet perish and all I could do was… nothing?” the words kept spilling from her mouth just like the tears were streaming from her eyes and all of it threw Griffin in agony because she understood too well. She felt so lost herself. “How are we supposed to move on after everything we saw?” her voice was so loud and unstable that it was scary, for Griffin had never heard her like that, but she understood. She’d asked herself the same. And she hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. Until now.

“Together,” she said as she gripped tightly at Faragonda’s shoulders to draw her attention. “We’ll get through this together,” she promised as she held her gaze before drawing her into a hug and feeling Faragonda sink into it helped her relax as well. She hadn’t known what to do with herself before that moment. But now she had a direction. She had nowhere to be. So she’d stand by her friend and help her pick up the pieces. And hopefully, she would find some peace for herself as well.

[thefactsofthematter]

Hello! Could you do "I love you" prompts 6 ("On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair") and 12 ("When we lay together on the fresh spring grass") for Jack/ Davey or Race/ Albert? Thanks so much and happy Valentine's Day!

omg i’m sorry this took so long!! (as we can see from “happy valentines day” jhhbgh) i took a break from writing but i’m back babey!!!

javid; 2k; uhh ambiguous time setting? sorta modern era but maybe it’s like,, the 60s or something; no content warnings! just fluff!

i highly recommend listening to “fishin’ in the dark” while reading this— it sets the tone perfectly.

-

It’s Davey’s first summer in the country, and he’s still not sure how he feels about it.

They’d moved here in the middle of the school year, leaving behind everything he’d once known in the heart of New York City, in exchange for a new life in a tiny little town. His father had lost his job back home, and instead of seeing it as a setback, his folks had taken it as an opportunity to start over somewhere else, across the country.

It’s not all bad, Davey figures.

He’s made a lot of friends— the kids at school were incredibly inviting, though you sort of have to be when there’s only five or six people in each grade. If anything, they were entertained by Davey’s fascinating stories of the big city, and his lack of knowledge of anything farming-related. He can’t complain; at least he has friends here, he certainly didn’t have many in New York.

Manhattan also didn’t have all this fresh air and gorgeous weather. It didn’t have the wonderful house they live in now— he’d grown up in a tiny apartment with all five of them crammed into just a couple of rooms. There’s definitely much more free space around here. He’s even got his own bedroom, free from sharing with Les.

And, well, New York didn’t have Jack.

Sweet, lovely Jack, who lives just down the street. Jack, who runs around barefoot, wears a tattered old cowboy hat, sings country songs, and drives a rust-bucket truck. Jack, who’s got the smoothest southern drawl in the world, and a year-round farmer’s tan. Jack, who Davey is head over heels for.

Speak of the devil…

“Hey Davey-boy! What'cha up to?”

There’s Jack, leaning over the back fence of the Jacobs’s yard, the brim of his hat not able to shade the brightness of his smile. Davey has been pulling weeds from the garden all morning, but it’s starting to get a little too hot and sunny to keep going without collapsing from heatstroke.

“Not much of anything,” he replies, dropping his pail of dandelions into the dirt. “I’m about finished with this. What are you doing here? I thought you were working on Al’s family’s farm for the next little while.”

Jack shrugs, still grinning happily, like he hasn’t got a care in the world.

“It’s my day off. Medda wanted me home for a bit to fix some stuff up for her, but I finished it real quick, so I’ve got some free time.” He seems almost nervous as he scuffs at the dirt with his foot and adjusts his hat so Davey can see more of his face. “Say, if you’re all done here, how’d you like to hang around with me for a while? I’ve got somewhere real neat that I wanna take you, I think you’ll really like it.”

Davey raises an eyebrow, intrigued.

“I don’t see why not,” he says, dusting the dirt off of his knees and picking his pail back up to toss the dandelions in the garbage bin. “I’ll let my mom know I’m going out and see if there’s anything she needs me to do first. I’ll meet you at your place in a bit?”

Jack’s smile widens, if that’s even possible.

“Sounds good! See ya in a bit, city slicker!”

And with that, he’s gone, darting back down the alley towards Medda’s place.

Davey shakes his head fondly, unable to wipe the smile from his face.

-

Twenty minutes later, they’re rolling along a gravel road in Jack’s truck. There’s mason jars of Medda’s signature sweet tea in their cup holders, and they’ve got the windows rolled down to let the breeze cool them off.

“So I’ve never been to a big city,” says Jack, breaking the easy silence they’d settled into. “Do y'all got grass there? And trees? Or is it all buildings?”

Davey can’t help but laugh. He sometimes imagines what his life would’ve been like if he’d lived here from the beginning, like Jack and all their other friends that have no idea of the hustle and bustle of New York.

“In parks, there’s trees and grass, yeah,” he replies, recalling the afternoons that he and Sarah used to drag Les over to Central Park in their rusty old wagon. “But not all over the place, the way it is here. New York is a lot of grey— the sidewalks, the buildings, even the air. It was just… dark and sad, a lot of the time. The longer I’m away from it, the less I miss it. I think I’m happier here.”

Jack’s grin is confirmation enough that Davey is, in fact, much happier here.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Jack replies, while tapping his hands absentmindedly on the steering wheel. “I ain’t ever had a friend like you before. I’m really happy you’re here.”

-

Twenty or so more minutes of driving finds them turning off the road to start down the long driveway of what looks like someone’s farm.

“Are we even allowed to be here?” asks Davey, as they roll right past an abandoned-looking house and quonset. “Who’s farm is this? Are we gonna get in trouble?”

Jack just chuckles and sips on the last of his sweet tea. There’s thankfully a few more jars of it in the backseat, courtesy of Medda, so they’ve got plenty to last the afternoon.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, shaking his head. “We’re fine. This is, like, technically, sort of… my land? I used to live out here with my dad, but after he died, no one comes out here anymore. I like to come sometimes just to hang out. It’ll be mine once I’m old enough to farm it— since I can’t really do it by myself at seventeen, right? That’s why I live with Medda for now, and I work out at Al’s farm ‘cause his dad is teaching me everything I need to do. Awful nice of him, ain’t it?”

Even with such a sad topic, Jack is still smiling, like the happiness of getting to carry on his dad’s farm outweighs the sadness of losing him.

“Sure is, yeah,” says Davey, trying to reciprocate Jack’s little laugh. “I’m sorry about your dad, though. That had to be really hard.”

Jack shrugs one shoulder and seems about to reply, but he’s pulled out of the conversation as he suddenly whips the truck off the gravel road and onto a well worn trail through the brush.

“Oh, here we go!” he yells, before stepping on the gas pedal with full force. Well, that’s one way to change the topic. “Hang on, Davey-boy! It’s about to get real bumpy!”

Davey shrieks as they begin to pick up speed, practically flying down the dirt trail. He’s absolutely terrified for his life, but the way Jack is howling with excited laughter sort of makes this worth it.

“Jack Kelly!” screams Davey, not quite able to stop himself from laughing too. “You’re insane! We’re gonna die!”

Jack can’t seem to stop laughing but he pats Davey’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Just hold on!” he yells, as the truck flies over a bump and bounces as it lands. “I won’t let anything happen! You’re safe with me!”

Davey isn’t sure at what point he began to trust Jack so much, but for some reason, he believes it. He just grips the handle above the door for dear life and decides he might as well live in the moment for a bit.

He’s gonna be just fine.

-

When they finally pull up to where Jack had been trying to take them and climb out of the truck, Davey realizes that the terrifying joy-ride had totally been worth it.

It’s a clearing in the trees, a big grassy patch, with a creek running right through the middle. If he looks far enough down the rolling water, there’s a beaver dam within sight— something he’s never seen in real life before. Sunlight is streaming down in golden rays, lighting both the scenery and Jack’s tan face in the most gorgeous way.

“You like it?” asks Jack, tipping back his hat to reveal more of his face. “I ain’t ever brought anyone here. It was me and my mom’s favourite place to come hang out. We used to have picnics here all the time.”

There’s a kind of wistful look on his face, and Davey kind of really wants to kiss him. Is that weird? He’s not really sure, but it’s probably best not to overthink it.

“I love it, Jack,” says Davey, rather sure his voice is giving away just how smitten he is. “This is beautiful… and I’m happy you trust me enough to show it to me. Thank you, Jackie.”

Jack seems caught off-guard by the sincerity, but his face eventually widens into a huge grin.

“Let’s have lunch,” is all he says, seemingly not sure how to respond to Davey’s words. It might just be the heat, but Davey swears there’s a blush across Jack’s cheeks. “Pick us a spot on the grass, I’ll get the food out. We’ll have to thank Medda for it later.”

With that, the two boys turn in opposite directions and try to recover from that strangely soft interaction. Davey wanders down to the water and slips his shoes off so he can dip his foot in— it’s surprisingly cool and refreshing. He opts to sit down right there, his feet dangling in the creek as minnows nip at his toes.

“Good choice,” says Jack, moments later, as he approaches behind Davey and sits on the grass next to him. “The water’s sure nice, ain’t it?”

“Yeah,” replies Davey, suddenly feeling very shy as Jack slings an arm around his shoulders and leans into his side. Holy shit. “It’s really nice. Colder than I was expecting.”

“Really now?” Jack reaches down to cup a handful of water and fling it in Davey’s face. “How’s that?”

Davey immediately retaliates, splashing a much more significant amount of water up onto Jack. Both of them are laughing hard, any thoughts of having lunch flying right out the window.

“That’s it, you’re on,” Jack growls, before sneakily wrestling Davey right into the creek. Both of them go down, tumbling fully-clothed into the shallow, cold water. “Take that, Davey-boy!”

The water-fight lasts several minutes and ends with no clear winner. They simply grow tired of it and flop onto the grass, exhausted.

It takes Davey a moment to process just how close together they are. Jack is laying against him, laughing into the crook of his neck. They’re both soaking wet and freezing cold— though it’ll likely only take a few minutes for the sun to warm them up. This means Davey has to act very quickly.

Before he can get caught up in his head and get too nervous to do it, he swallows his fear and presses a quick kiss to Jack’s cheek. Jack’s laughter ceases and he looks up at Davey— he thankfully doesn’t look angry, mostly just confused.

“I hope that was okay,” Davey quickly says, the weight of what he’s just done finally hitting him. “I didn’t mean to cross a line, I just really like you, and—”

He finds himself cut off by Jack’s lips pressing against his own. It takes him a second to process it, but he eventually smiles into the kiss and lets his arms sneak around Jack’s neck to hold him close. He’s not sure he’s ever been this happy before.

“I really like you too,” Jack replies, once they pull away for breath. “So much, Davey. I’m so happy to have you.”

With that, he reconnects their lips and they stay that way for a long while, sunlight streaming over them as birds chirp in the background.

Davey is really, really glad they moved to the country.

-

Tag list:

@landlessbud @eponinemylove @i-got-personality @alovelymoonbeam @penzyroamin @graceful-popcorn @bencookisagod @auspicioustarantula @neverplannedonsomeonelikeyou @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @backgroundnewsies @magimerlyn @myheartissetinmotion @papesdontsellthemselves @supremebesson @justasadcryptid @marvels-ninja @aw-jus-let-em-try @big-potato-asshole @stop-the-presses @fameworks-quicker @wilde-guess @never-fear-brooklyns-here @r-a-c-e-t-r-a-c-k @fandom-fangirl07 @theresagoodchanceicouldfly @dying-poet

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

I absolutely adore Of Broken Dreams; it was the fic that got me into Stucky, and it's my go to when I need a pick me up! I love all of it, but Christmas at the farmhouse is one of my favorite sections and I would love a little bit of a DVD commentary on your favorite bit of this section! (I can't decide which is my favorite bit XD)

Omg, yes, my dear Lords Rogers and Barnes. I miss them. I should write a one shot with them. anyway I’m gonna do this bit. It’s on the long side, but you need the whole thing for my feelings on it lol 

And thank you so much! That is such a huge compliment!! 

“You’re even the most popular one here.” Steve chuckles as he fixes the ends of the blanket with one hand so that it sits around him. The other hand’s holding a saucer and teacup. “I think they like you better than me.” He smiles and hands him the saucer. “Here.”

Bucky looks at it without taking it. “What’s this?”

Steve gives him a shy smile. “Your cocoa.”

“My…” Oh. Bucky’s tickled pink. He can’t believe Steve actually made him this. A giggle’s about to ripple through him. “I was only fooling, husband!”

“I know.” Steve chuckles. He shrugs and sits down, placing the cocoa in his hands now. “But I promised.”

“Is that where you’ve been?”

“Yes. I’m sorry it took so long. I had to wait for my chance at the stove.”

“Oh. I thought… maybe you… forgot about me.”

Not forgot, not truly lost from his mind. Became distracted and engrossed in deep enough conversation that Bucky was just a distant memory. The expression on Steve’s face though, those large eyes filling with worry and possibly bordering on the edge of panic, tells him his fears have been for naught, and Bucky feels positively absurd. He’s not quite sure he even understands himself anymore.

A year ago he could waltz into uncharted territory, date on his arm--lady, fella, it mattered not--room crowded with people whether he knew some of them, none of them or all of them, and the air would breathe contently around him. Bucky can smile with ease and make others blush with just a bat of the eyes. He’s sweet-talked his way into lots of bed before, taken great care to be the source of pleasure and tenderness to those he’s shared nights with. But this place, surrounded by the House of Rogers’ laughter, he feels small and timid.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers. “I didn’t mean to take so long. I should have come back to sit with you while the water boiled.” He leans in closer, scoots over enough that he’s able to slip his hand under the blanket and across his thigh. Gives him a tender, arousing squeeze. “Shall I show you how you’ve been on my mind, my Sweetheart?”

The cup rattles in Bucky’s hands. Steve stays them so he doesn’t drop it and spill cocoa all over his lap. Everything, everything, in his body is tight.

“No…” Bucky whimpers. Eyes frantic as they glance around the room to make sure no one has noticed. “Steve!”

His husband snickers and takes his hand back. “M’sorry.”

Bucky glares at him. Tries to anyway. He can’t really complete the expression, can’t fully conjure up the proper amount of heat when it’s too busy surging through the rest of his body.

“You really are mean, husband.” He sniffs. Turns his nose up. “I hope you realize you can no longer hide this fact from me.”

He laughs. “I know it. You don’t really seem to mind all that much.”

“I suppose I don’t,” Bucky sighs and glances down to take a sip of the drink he’s been given. He laughs before he can even bring it to his mouth. “Are there really seventeen marshmallows in this?”

Steve folds his smile in, blush sneaking under his skin as he peer through his lashes.

“That’s how many you asked for,” he says softly. Innocent, even pouty like. “And you were tickling me.”

“Oh boy.” Bucky takes a drink this time. Gives him a peck on the cheek as a means of a peace offer. “Maybe you’ll go easy on me when you find out how ticklish… I am?”

“Ah.” Steve lights up with this information and lets his fingers run along Bucky’s ribs. Bucky tenses and makes a funny, embarrassing noise, but Steve doesn’t wiggle into his side any more than that. “I can be nice, too, you know.”

“Nice?” Bucky muses. “I think you can be much more than nice, husband. But I still believe you’ll tickle me.”

“First chance I get.” He snickers.

Bucky whines. Lip pushed out and eyes big, round and puppy like. One of those illegal looks he knows Steve likes. Letting his eyes fall closed, Steve rests his brow against his, lips curving up.

“And you say I’m unfair,” he mutters.

A giggle rivers through Bucky. Soft and tranquil, and he’s about to run fingers through his husband’s hair when someone shouts. Loud, powerful and followed by a bursting round of laughter. Though neither of them were paying attention, Steve is smiling; gaze focused on the red-headed aunt that doesn’t seem to have use for an indoor voice.

Bucky watches him for a moment. His husband, here, comfortably surrounded by all these people, where it’s noisy and loud and there’re so many different things happening at once. Music is playing from the big phonograph and the children have taken to singing along. Stories are being shared by means of affectionate shouting. Not all that different from a club yet nothing like one at all. Something inside Bucky clicks.

He’s nervous around these people. Feels those knots tying inside of him whenever he thinks of them ignoring him, even tighter whenever he think of them talking to him. They’re sweet and kind, friendly and accomodating and every bit as easy to get along with as Steve. None of that makes being lost in the middle of all of them any less nerve-wracking. Because Bucky’s not here to put on a show.

Not like going to a club opening. There’s no flashy smile or flick of the eyebrows. No running his fingers through his hair and a cool, casual wink or witty remark that’ll win them over. This isn’t about Bucky. Or rather, not just about Bucky.

This is for Steve. This is Steve’s family. The House of Rogers is Bucky’s House now. And… Bucky wants them to like him.

“Are you okay?”

He hears Steve’s question. Looks at him and tries to offer a smile. There’s no real answer. Bucky’s as okay as one who keeps discovering new things of themselves lately can be.

“Okay, everyone!” Lord Rogers, Joseph, as he’s been insisting, just like Sarah, for Bucky to call him, announces. “It’s five minutes to midnight and you know what that means!”

The children hop up and down. Their little hands clap together and they cheer while some of Steve’s aunts and uncles whistle through their fingers. Only Bucky’s not quite sure what it means. Other than it being five minutes before the official start of Christmastide’s Eve, of course. He glances over his shoulder. Steve smiles at him.

“House tradition,” he whispers in explanation. “Dad’ll tell one ghost story before we open the parlor doors and we’ll all add one decoration to the tree.”

“Oh…”

Bucky can feel his face falling as quiet descends upon the room. The walls that once held a cacophony of voices are now hushed as they wait patiently for Joseph to begin. The electric lighting have been turned off, the children excited to make the atmosphere right. Shadows lick the ceilings and floors, hugging everyone as they dance out of the fire in the fireplace and along the wicks of the candles placed haphazardly around the room.

“Is that…” Steve tilts his head. Must see the apprehension growing in Bucky’s eyes even in the dimmed light. “All right?”

“Uh… it’s…”

Something he’s always been teased about. Always. Ghost stories are tradition even in the House of Barnes and from childhood to adolescence to adulthood he’s never outgrown his embarrassing fear of them. Fear of the unknown, of unseen creatures sneaking into his room in the middle of the night to make a playground of his privacy, of his life. Fantasy or truth, it matters not. As a child he’d crawl into his mother’s lap. When he got older, Rebecca would hold his hand. When he grew older still, she held his hand under the table where no one could see.

There’s no Rebecca this year. No sister to hold his hand in hers, fingers gliding over skin when he tenses at the parts that get to him most. No mother to kiss his cheek and offer to check under his bed when the stories have all been spent. A joke of course, but Winifred would’ve done it for him if Bucky asked. No father to clap an arm over his shoulder and remind him that they’re only stories. Stories meant to remind the living to live true and righteous.

“Bucky?”

“Yes,” Bucky whispers back since Joseph is clearing throat to begin. “I’m… fine.”

This story is one that Bucky particularly hates. It’s the outcome that gets to him most. The uncertainty of it. Does the school teacher live or die? Does he make it across the bridge? Does the headless man catch him or not?

Bucky’s trying to focus mostly on the cocoa that he has. Making heavy work of drinking it slowly. But not even halfway through the story the glass is empty and if he doesn’t focus enough, it’ll rattle atop the saucer in his shaky hands. The second time this happens, a pair of large hands cover both of his and the teacup and saucer. They appear out of the darkness and startle Bucky enough that he gasps.

From next to him, Steve, the source of the hands, of course, snickers. More embarrassment flushes through Bucky when he peers up at his husband. Even in this darkened room his eyes glow, piercing through the blackness like a lifeforce. He leans forward after setting the cup aside, mouth by Bucky’s ear.

“Are you scared, Bucky?” he whispers. “Do you not like ghost stories?”

He opens his mouth to answer. Nothing comes out though. All he can manage to do is give Steve a weak nod. Hope his husband won’t be too harsh with his teasing. Only Steve smiles at him. Smiles and then opens his arm out for him. There might not be a sister here tonight. No mother. They’re back on the Isle of Manhattan. No father. Lost to the world. But there is his husband. His Steve.

Bucky scoots closer, lets himself melt into Steve’s embrace. To help out even more, Steve gently cradles the side of his head, pressing a hand over Bucky’s ear so that his other is resting up against his chest. He can hear, even feel Steve’s heart. Beat, beat, beat. His chest rises up and down with his contented breathing, as though having Bucky so close provides some sort of extra comfort. Smooth, rhythmic movements that at first hide the small vibrations running through him. It takes him a few minutes longer for Bucky to figure out what it is. Steve is humming. Blocking out the sounds of the story even further by humming to him.

Not just any tune either. Bucky recognizes it immediately. Their wedding song. Steve is softly humming their wedding song.

I love this particular scene because of how much Bucky’s grown over the course of only three to four months. I think it was easy for people to forget that his life was literally upheaved. The rug was pulled out from under him after his father died and this was not the life he’d been groomed for. And, sure, we the readers know that Steve would never do anything to hurt him, but in the story, Bucky has no idea. 

Bucky’s been in a spiraling depression since the night his father died and it’s around now that he’s finally seeing his way out of it. Not for Steve, though, but because Steve’s been shining a light for him and letting him climb out on his own terms and at his own pace. 

No longer is Bucky wary of Steve’s touches. In fact, he’s so comfortable with him now that he misses him when he’s simply another room away. And because Steve is so much more comfortable here with his family, Bucky gets to see just how real and genuine he is. Steve is so kind-hearted and good-natured that Bucky is blown away by it. 

This is also Bucky’s first holiday away from his family, people he’s not even supposed to consider his family anymore and even though he still mourns for what he’s lost, he’s able to take comfort in Steve. 

And, Steve, well, Steve is just thrilled. They’ve been playful and teasing and touching. Exploring a whole new side of their marriage. Since they’re all pretty sure this will be Sarah’s last holiday with them, this is hard on Steve and having Bucky here with him is like a warm anesthetic pumping through his veins. 

The children are all taken with Bucky, too. Even when he’s not trying, Bucky’s charming and sweet. It’s just part of who he is and the House of Rogers fully embraces him. Bucky’s always been popular and well-liked, but he actually wants Steve’s family to like him for who he is, not a song-and-dance for Society and their watchful eyes. 

Fanfic DVD Commentary Asks