#sorry this post is so long LOL I have a lot to say and wanted it in one place | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

witchysniffles · 2 days ago

Text

new year's eve

A/gathario ft. sick A/gatha being too stubborn for her own good. 8.7k words (💀) There WILL be a part 2 to this at some point, but given how long this took it might be a minute lol.

All of this was inspired by @flutterytickles's tags on this post about the idea of a professor AU and a New Year's Eve party, and when I say I took that and ran with it...😳

I am MORE than happy to yap about this AU forever, but really all you need to know for this is that everyone's teaching at a small, liberal arts college in Boston. A/gatha was hired as an English professor, but now mostly teaches American history through literature and print culture. R/io studied environmental science with a focus in botany and also poetry in school, and she took a pay cut specifically to teach at a school that would let her do both. Other than that, I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!! <3

Please don't reblog to non-kink blogs! Minors DNI.

“So it’s not going to be a party,” Rio said. “At least not according to Lilia. But Alice and Jen will be there, and a few other faculty members and some of Lilia’s grad students, and Alice assured me there will be good food, lots of drinks, and probably karaoke if they can find a way to hook it up to Lilia’s TV. Sounds like it’ll be a good time.”

“Hmm,” Agatha hummed. Rio had her on speakerphone on her desk while she was tidying up her office, using the time that barely anyone was on campus to prep for the spring semester without anyone commenting on how many empty energy drink cans she was hauling out to the recycling bin.

“Well you know how I feel about karaoke,” Agatha said. Rio thought she heard the sound of her clearing her throat, but she chalked it up to static on the line. “But is Lilia actually inviting me or is this you asking me to come with you?”

“Both,” Rio said. “Lilia doesn’t have your number and she figured you wouldn’t be checking your work email over the holidays, so she asked me to ask you. And I would like it if you came with me.” Rio paused. “You know, if you want to.”

There was another little burst of noise on the line—this time it almost sounded like a sniffle—before Agatha spoke again.

“Well, I promised Nicky I’d take him to the parade and the fireworks at the Common tomorrow, but that’ll be over and done by eight.” Agatha paused and this time Rio was sure she heard a sniffle. “Let me talk to the kid next door, see if he can sit in after I put Nicky down and I’ll…”

Agatha trailed off, and Rio frowned.

“You’ll…?”

“Hh-hold on, I n-need—”

Rio could hear Agatha’s breath stutter, and then before she could even process what was happening, she heard what sounded like a poorly-stifled sneeze from a distance like Agatha was holding the phone away from her face.

“Bless you?” Rio still wasn’t a hundred percent sure she was hearing things right, but she still spoke loud enough for Agatha to hear and—she assumed—roll her eyes at. What she wasn’t expecting, though, was Agatha’s shaky voice when she brought the phone back.

“D-don’t,” she started. “I’m not…n-nah…not…hheh’EHTtschu!”

That was definitely, for sure a sneeze that time, and though Rio couldn’t see it, she could tell by the involuntary little groan that followed that Agatha wasn’t happy about it. Whether it was about sneezing in general or about Rio acknowledging it with another, more enthusiastic “Bless you!” was anyone’s guess.

“Ugh, sorry,” Agatha said after collecting herself again. “You were saying?”

“I think you were saying something about getting a babysitter? But, if you’re not feeling well we don’t have to—”

“I’m fine,” Agatha said firmly. “It’s just some gunk Nicky picked up somewhere. It’s probably just one of those twenty-four hour things, I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

Rio was pretty sure that wasn’t how colds worked, but Agatha’s tone told her the topic was not up for discussion, and Rio didn’t feel like pressing the issue would be helpful. This was Agatha, after all.

Last spring when they’d first gotten paired up to teach an interdisciplinary studies course on floral symbolism in classic American literature and poetry, Agatha had neglected to inform Rio that she was horribly allergic to about half the flowers they’d be talking about, so Rio hadn’t thought twice about showing up to the very first class with a fresh arrangement of native wildflowers to sit on the podium between them as they took turns going over the syllabus.

Agatha had done an admirable job downplaying her reaction for most of the hour-long class, only stifling the occasional sneeze into near-silence over her shoulder, but the second class was dismissed, she’d dissolved into the single most dramatic, drawn-out fit Rio had ever seen, blushing furiously the whole time and still insisting she was fine when she could gather enough breath to speak.

Rio had run up to her own office to grab her own bottle of Zyrtec, sure the whole time that this was going to get the whole class cancelled, and her partnership with Agatha would be over before it had even properly begun. With the meds in her system, though, Agatha had pulled herself together shockingly quickly to teach her afternoon class, and to Rio’s surprise, not only did their joint class proceed as planned (after a serious, Rio-initiated discussion of what parts of the syllabus Agatha was and wasn’t allergic to—which Agatha was also blushing furiously through—and an Agatha-initiated tacit threat to never speak of the incident again), but Agatha had been grateful enough for Rio’s help to offer to repay the favor by taking her out to dinner.

One thing led to another, and now, nearly a year later, they were dating, all because Agatha was enough of a stubborn bitch about her allergies to not keep antihistamines on her.

Rio had never actually seen Agatha sick before, but she assumed she probably wouldn’t handle that much better.

“Hh-ITSchu!”

Another sneeze from Agatha drew Rio from her thoughts.

“Ble—”

“Not yet, I…he’ETshiu! Ugh, fuck.”

“Salud,” Rio said.

“Shut up,” Agatha grumbled. “I’m fine. Just let me talk to the kid next door. I would never say this to his face, but he’s a total loser, there’s no way he’s got plans. I gotta check if Hanukkah changes anything, but I’ll text you when I know?”

“Sounds good. Love you, and get some rest!”

She could practically hear Agatha roll her eyes before she shot back a, “Love you too,” and ended the call.

Not half an hour later, Rio’s phone lit up with a text from Agatha.

Teen’s free to babysit. Pick me up at 9?

It’s a date, she replied.

~**~

Agatha was already waiting on the front steps when Rio’s overpriced Uber pulled up in front of the elegant Beacon Hill brownstone. Her hair was down, falling in loose waves over her shoulders, and she was wearing lipstick, which wasn’t unheard of, but the deep raspberry red shade of it made something in Rio’s brain short out, and suddenly her only thought was about how badly she wanted to fuck it up at midnight.

As she drew closer, though, she realized that the lipstick was a distraction—and a damn good one at that—from the subtle little signs of illness on the rest of her face. Her makeup was impeccable, but up close, Rio could see the shadows of dark circles under her eyes, the barely-there pinkish tint at the tip of her nose, the subtle crease in her foundation that showed just how often she'd been—

Right on cue, Agatha scrunched up her nose with a small sniffle, and judging by the way her hands twitched at her sides, she was really fighting the urge not to rub it. Rio would never say it out loud, but she was pretty sure it was one of the cutest things she’d ever seen.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey, yourself,” Agatha said. Those raspberry lips twitched upwards, as Rio wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Her skin felt a little warm for someone outside in the middle of winter. Rio couldn’t be confident it was high enough to be a fever, but she filed the thought away for later.

“So…,” Rio started as she pulled out her phone to look up Lilia’s address. “How were the fireworks?”

Agatha sighed heavily. “We didn’t end up staying. Nicky didn’t sleep well last night, which meant I didn’t sleep well last night, and we only made it halfway through the parade before he decided he wanted to go home.” Agatha sniffled and scrunched up her nose again. “Poor kid was practically falling asleep on his dino nuggets. I put him to bed and hh’he was out like a li-ihh-light.”

The slight hitch of her breath drew Rio’s gaze upwards, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Agatha scratching the bottom of her nose with her thumbnail.

“Oh poor thing,” Rio said, definitely not talking about Agatha; that would be ridiculous. “And how are you feeling? You sure you’re up for a wild party?”

Agatha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “I think I can hiih-handle whatever Lilia’s got planned.”

“You sure?” Rio lowered her phone and met Agatha’s eyes. “Because we can just stay in, especially if you didn’t get much sleep last night. I hear they’re letting Andy and Anderson drink on CNN again this year, and we could do those Lego flowers from Christmas and just take it easy.”

Yeah, Rio thought to herself; that was a safe angle to approach it from. Asking outright if she was under the weather was a surefire way to get her to dig her heels in deeper, and while Rio was pretty sure that was going to happen anyway, she wanted to make sure Agatha knew she had an out if she wanted it.

As Rio had predicted though, Agatha shook her head.

“No,” she said. “I’m fine. I already missed the baby fireworks, and I don’t even remember the last time I got to go out for New Year’s, so I’m not missing this.” She punctuated her statement by audibly clearing her throat, and she glared at Rio for noticing. “And I feel fine,” she snapped. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Ok,” Rio raised one hand in a mock surrender. “In that case, it looks like we have a choice between a pretty straightforward thirty minute walk, or we can take an Uber that’ll shave a whole five minutes off that time for…” she refreshed her app and her eyes widened in shock as she wordlessly showed Agatha the inflated price on the screen. “Suddenly I’m thinking it’s a great night for a walk. What about you?”

When she didn’t get an answer right away, Rio glanced up from her phone and took in the dazed look that had settled over Agatha’s features, the way those raspberry lips parted, one hand hovering in front of her mouth as her she scrunched up her nose once more in vain before—“hiET’SHhiew—‘ITSHhyu!” She aimed both sneezes into her elbow at the last second and then sniffled wetly as she rummaged around in her purse for…who the fuck still carried handkerchiefs in the twenty-first century?

“Bless you, bless you,” Rio said lightly, as Agatha blew her nose once, dabbing lightly at her nostrils to keep from completely destroying her foundation. Rio couldn’t help but notice that once she was done, she shoved the handkerchief in her pocket instead of putting it back in her purse.

“Thanks,” Agatha muttered. “How long did you say the walk was?”

“Google says thirty minutes.”

Agatha gave a haughty sniff as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Closer to twenty if you walk like you live here,” she said. “I vote we do that.”

There was a part of Rio that thought about protesting further, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good, and besides that, Agatha was a grown woman who could listen to her own body. If she wanted to push herself for the sake of a stupid work party then who was Rio to stop her? And also, Rio selfishly really did want to mess up that lipstick against a backdrop of fireworks.

“Alright,” she sighed. “In that case, vamanos.”

With a swish of her long coat, Agatha set off down the block at such a pace that Rio had to jog to catch up.

~**~

Lilia lived on the top floor of a refurbished tenement building in the North End that was all decorative brick work and copper patina on the outside, with an interior that looked authentically pre-war. Which war exactly was anyone’s guess, but Rio was putting money on Civil.

The chilly night air had made both of their noses run, and they paused in front of the elevator to collect themselves. Rio pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her hand and swiped briefly at her nose. Agatha, on the other hand, took a bit longer to recover.

She’d been mostly alright on the walk over as far as Rio could tell—the fresh air really had seemed to be a good move—but now that they were back inside the dry heat of the building, it was clearly taking Agatha a second to gather herself. She had her handkerchief out and was running it on one finger under her eyes and around her nostrils, but her nose, it seemed had other ideas.

Her breath hitched once, twice, and she tipped her head back, her mouth just open enough that Rio could see she was pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth to try to hold it back. It wasn’t enough, though, and Agatha let out a particularly vocal gasp right before she pitched forward with an itchy-sounding “hiih’IIShu!”

“Bless you,” Rio said.

“Ugh, thanks,” Agatha grumbled. “Must be the temperature change. I’m fine.”

She at least had the decency to flush as Rio eyed her skeptically, but before Rio could say anything else, Agatha was slipping the handkerchief back in her pocket, sliding open the metal grille in front of the elevator, and waving Rio inside.

“Can you just promise me something?” Rio asked as the elevator groaned and shuddered its way upwards. Agatha didn’t say anything, but she side-eyed Rio curiously. Rio took a deep breath and flexed her fingers at her sides as she said, “Promise me if you reach a point where you want to leave tonight for any reason you’ll tell me?”

“I’m—”

“I know you’re fine,” Rio said. “And I’ll let you be the judge of your own body. I’m just telling you that if you want an out you’ve got one, no questions asked.”

Agatha considered her words for a moment. Her lips were pressed in a thin line as she ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then she sighed.

“Alright,” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

“Any time.”

The elevator jolted to a stop and they stepped out into a long hallway. There was music and laughter and a scent that Rio could only identify as ‘miscellaneous party food’ wafting from their left.

“I’m gonna take a wild guess that Lilia’s that way,” she said. She glanced over at Agatha who just tossed her hair over her shoulder, cleared her throat, and sniffed once more before nodding in the direction of the sound.

“Shall we?”

Rio hesitated for just a moment, captivated by the way Agatha’s mask slid so smoothly into place. She had hardly realized just how much she got to see when they were alone until suddenly she was faced with the Agatha that was ready to actually walk into the party.

The little signs were still there: the way that her foundation was starting to separate and smudge around the tip of her nose, the way her lips parted ever so slightly so that she could breathe without the air catching audibly on the building congestion in her sinuses. It was an impressive performance. Frankly if Rio hadn’t seen evidence to the contrary, she might have even believed Agatha’s little act.

Of course, the fact that she had gotten to see that evidence to the contrary at all—even if Agatha was denying it the whole time—was also not lost on Rio. It made her stupid, lovesick heart flutter in her chest just realizing that Agatha trusted her that much. It was also mildly annoying knowing that it would be that much harder to tell if Agatha reached her limit tonight, but they’d cross that bridge when they came to it.

She must have lingered a bit too long, though, because Agatha noticed she wasn’t following and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, looking pointedly at Rio’s hands.

Rio hadn’t even noticed that she was fluttering her fingers at her sides, but the sudden awareness made her stop and flex her hands.

“Yeah,” she said. “Let’s do this.”

Rio reached the door at the end of the hall first and knocked right below the brass 4F affixed to it. When no one answered right away, Agatha tried the knob and found that it was already unlocked. She glanced at Rio with a shrug before pushing it all the way open and leading the way inside.

Rio's first impression upon stepping into Lilia's space was that it perfectly answered the question, "What if an eccentric gender studies professor with a fortune-telling side hustle had lived in the same rent-controlled apartment since the 70s?" which wasn't a question Rio had been asking, but it was nice to have an answer nonetheless. The entry way led into a spacious living room filled with squashy, mismatched furniture. Decorative lamps on various surfaces gave the room a soft, warm glow, and there were tapestries and artwork covering nearly inch of exposed wall. It was inviting and a little overwhelming in the same way that Lilia herself could be and Rio found that she kind of liked it.

Her second impression was that she and Lilia definitely had different ideas of what "not a party" meant. There were far more people than she had expected here. She vaguely recognized some other faculty members and a few of Lilia’s grad students and TAs who hung out around her office a lot, but she was only halfway through her second year of teaching, so there were still more unfamiliar faces than familiar ones.

"Soo…," Agatha started, leaning close to Rio's ear as she slipped out of her coat, "Are we sure that Lilia understands what a party is?”

Rio bit back a laugh as the hostess in question rounded the corner. “Did I hear a knock? I thought I—oh, Rio, you came!”

Before Rio could react, Lilia swept forward and enveloped her in a brief, but warm hug that had Agatha pressing herself flat against the wall to stay out of the way.

“Oh, I’m so glad you were able to make it,” Lilia said. It wasn’t until she stepped back that she seemed to notice Agatha. Something flickered behind her eyes for a fraction of a second before her wide smile was back in place. “Agatha, it’s nice to finally see you outside of the office for a change. Did you two come together?”

“Sort of,” Agatha said at the same instant Rio said, “Kind of.”

Lilia raised an eyebrow, and Rio glanced over at Agatha who was starting to get a sort of dazed look in her eyes, so Rio quickly took over.

“We split an Uber,” she said. “Those holiday prices are crazy, but if the alternative is the green line on New Year’s…” she trailed off with a shrug and an eye roll, and that seemed to be good enough for Lilia. Or at least, if she had further suspicions, she was good enough not to voice them.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rio could see Agatha bring her hand in front of her mouth in a loose fist, her thumb resting along her jaw and her first finger pressed against the bottom of her nose. It wasn’t entirely out of the ordinary—one thing about Agatha, the woman was always touching her face—but Rio guessed from the way Agatha scrunched up her nose that it was a little more practical at the moment.

Rio was about to come up with some excuse to try to shoo Lilia away, when someone else called her name from elsewhere in the apartment. Lilia glanced in the direction of the voice and sighed.

“I suppose I should go see what all the fuss is about,” she said. "You two feel free to make yourselves at home. There's food in the dining room, drinks in the kitchen, and I think someone brought some..." she mimed smoking a joint as she trailed off, and Agatha snorted. "If you want to do that, though, just do me a favor and take it outside or on the fire escape. The scent lingers in here like nothing else.”

“Understood,” Rio said.

Lilia gave a satisfied nod before turning on her heel and disappearing back into the festivities.

Rio turned towards Agatha just in time to see her shove her face into her bunched up coat and muffle a forceful sneeze into it. She came up for air with a slightly dazed look on her face, her mouth still open in preparation, but after a long moment of anticipation, nothing else happened. Agatha exhaled with an angry huff and hung her coat up on an empty hanger.

Rio did the same after her, except she nearly dropped the hanger when Agatha suddenly swore behind her. Rio whirled around just in time to see Agatha crush her nose between her thumb and forefinger as she pitched forward with a pair of stifled sneezes that were nearly silent save for a soft, choked off little gasp.

Rio almost felt a little guilty for it, but she couldn’t help noticing just how different these cold sneezes were from Agatha’s allergic fits. It was a strange thing to think about, but with her allergies, Agatha seemed to have some semblance of control, at least at the start. The tickle tended to be a slower, more torturous build that Agatha was shockingly good at hiding, and the sneezes themselves started off as soft, tickly little things that she was scary-good at keeping quiet. This cold, by contrast, seemed to keep her on her toes, sneaking up on her and then backing off just to come back with a vengeance, and Agatha was clearly already getting frustrated.

Agatha released her nose with a heavy sigh and a wet sniffle, and when she noticed Rio looking at her, she frowned.

“What?” she snapped.

“Nothing,” Rio said. “Bless you.”

That seemed to soften Agatha around the edges for a moment, and she muttered a quiet, “Thanks,” before she brushed past Rio into rest of the apartment. “Let’s find the kitchen,” she said. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink.”

Rio rolled her eyes, but followed along anyway. It was less than two and a half hours to New Year’s, but she had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

~**~

When Lilia had said there were drinks in the kitchen, Rio had expected champagne, some prosecco, maybe some kind of fancy Italian wines and some seltzers in the fridge for the grad students. What she hadn’t expected was a downright undergrad-rager amount of boxed wine and a rainbow of Jell-O shots, but now that she was looking at the spread, she realized that yeah, actually, this kind of tracked.

There was indeed an array of random seltzers and cheap beer in the fridge along with a couple of bottles of something bubbly with sticky notes on them warning that they were not to be touched until midnight. Rio grabbed a mango White Claw and turned around to see Agatha debating between the wine and the shots like it was a matter of life and death. After a moment, she reached a compromise with herself in the form of downing a purple Jell-O shot and then immediately grabbing a plastic cup to fill with room-temperature Franzia, because sure, why not?

“Hey, Rio, you made it!”

Rio spun around to see Alice approaching with a beer in hand and a bright smile on her face.

“Of course,” Rio said. “I wouldn’t miss it!” She took a sip of her seltzer and surveyed the room. “Although there are a lot more people than I expected when Lilia told me specifically that this wasn’t a party.”

“That’s Lilia for you,” Alice said. “Anything less than a full-on rager doesn’t count as a party to her. But for what it’s worth, it’ll probably start to clear out by 11:30ish. Most people just use this as a rest stop for a bit and then walk to the waterfront to catch the fireworks. But they’re missing out because that’s usually about when Lilia gets stoned enough to break out the oracle cards and that’s worth sticking around for.”

“Sounds like fun.” Rio hadn’t even heard Agatha come up behind her, but there she was eyeing Alice over the rim of her plastic cup of cheap wine. “When do we break out the Ouija board and start telling ghost stories?”

“Oh hey, Agatha,” Alice said. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she glanced from Rio to Agatha and back again like she was trying to connect some invisible dots. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, good to see you too,” Agatha said flatly. She took a long sip of her wine, and she held her cup in front of her face a second longer than strictly necessary to block her nose from view as it twitched just the slightest bit. A tense moment passed where Rio couldn’t tell if Agatha was actually going to sneeze or not, but she recovered quickly, lowering her cup and shouldering past Rio towards the dining room. “I’m gonna get some food.”

“Ok, bye, Agatha,” Alice said drily. She shot Rio a look. “I didn’t know you two…”

She trailed off, and the implied ellipsis hanging off Alice’s words felt like a set trap for Rio to walk into. She’d had the feeling that her officemates were starting to suspect something for a while—from the sounds of it there was even a betting pool now—but Rio wasn’t going to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that easily.

It wasn’t so much that they were trying to keep it a secret—sneaking around like teenagers wasn’t really all it cracked up to be when they were both parties involved were closer to fifty than fifteen—but with a kid in the mix, and Rio being so new, and Agatha’s…well, being Agatha, they just…never really cared to make a grand announcement to their colleagues. At some point it would come out, that much they both knew, but for now it was still sort of thrilling to have such a secret that was theirs and theirs alone.

So it was with all of that in mind, that Rio managed to say, “Lilia’s the one who invited her.” She took a swig of her seltzer and wished she had grabbed something harder. “We just split an Uber here.”

“Ah, sure,” Alice said. “It’s just funny; Lilia’s been trying to get her to come to stuff for years now, but this is the first time she’s actually shown. I wonder what changed.”

“Yeah,” Rio mused as she watched Agatha disappear around a corner. “I wonder.”

“Ok, well…” Alice bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands together as she took a slow step back. “I need to track down an HDMI cord to try to set up karaoke, but I’ll be around.”

“I’ll see you,” Rio said.

She gave Alice a half-hearted wave and then followed Agatha’s trail into the cramped dining room where she found Agatha trapped in conversation with a short woman with a neat blonde bob who Rio vaguely recognized from the…admissions office? Student life? Something like that.

Whatever they were talking about, Agatha hardly seemed to be in the mood for it, but the woman clearly wasn’t taking the hint. Agatha had her hand in front of her face again, the knuckle of her first finger moving slowly back and forth under her nose as she nodded absently, her attention clearly more on her nose than her conversation partner.

If Rio had felt a little guilty about watching before, she felt downright voyeuristic now. From the corner of the doorway, Rio had a perfect view of Agatha’s profile, and she watched with rapt attention as Agatha managed to wrestle the tickle back long enough to interject.

“That sounds great, Sharon, but you see, the problem is that I don’t want to, so…” she trailed off with a contemptuous, open-handed shrug, and the woman—Sharon, apparently—just laughed.

“Oh, I’ll get you one of these days!” She wagged a finger playfully in Agatha’s direction before glancing down at her empty cup. “I’m gonna get some more wine, but I’ll email you once we get back on campus!”

“I’ll delete it,” Agatha called after her in a mocking tone.

She waited until Sharon was safely out of the room before whirling around and coughing into her elbow. She recovered quickly enough, but kept her arm in front of her face for a moment too long. Rio could see her shoulders tense and then release as she smothered a trio of sneezes against her sleeve, each tripping over the next like they had taken umbrage at being held back for so long. “Hiih’TSHh!-h’TSHh-TCHhu!”

“Bless you,” Rio said.

Agatha startled at the sound of her voice and spun around to glare at her.

“I’m fine,” Agatha said through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t even ask.”

“Well you were thinking it and that’s bad enough,” Agatha snapped.

Her voice was starting to take on a more noticeably-congested edge, and Rio found herself wondering if she’d have to put her foot down at some point. Either Agatha was a better liar than Rio had thought if she had been feeling this bad this whole time, or she was going downhill faster than Rio had assumed she would, and frankly Rio wasn’t sure which was worse.

“Is this where the…oh. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Rio and Agatha both spun around to find Jennifer Kale smirking at them from the doorway like she very much hoped she was, in fact, interrupting something.

“You wish,” Agatha growled. “What do you want, Jen?”

“Maybe to socialize?” Jen said slowly like she was trying to explain the concept to a child. “At a social event? Although I can’t imagine you have much experience with those.”

“Can it, Kale,” Agatha snapped. She took a long sip of her wine and shouldered past Jen on her way back into the kitchen. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Nice to see you too, Agatha!” Jen called after her. She turned back to Rio and rolled her eyes. “You really can’t take her anywhere, can you?”

The question felt equal parts loaded and rhetorical, and given Jen’s…history with Agatha, Rio figured her safest option was to plead the fifth. She ignored Jen’s pointed smirk and took another long drink of her seltzer.

“Well, forget her,” Jen said. “I was actually hoping to run into you here. I heard back from my mother about those old Home Garden magazines we were talking about? She found some of my grandmother’s old issues, and she said she’ll send them out to me next week. I can bring them into the office when they get here if you want to go through them.”

“Oh, sweet!” Rio had been working for most of the fall on a proposal for a class on Victory Gardens and the development of urban home gardening, and some of the earliest primary sources had proven to be a bit of a bitch to track down. “Yeah, I’ll be in and out of the office the next few weeks before the semester starts, but I’d love to get my hands on anything you’ve got.”

“Cool,” Jen said. “I’ll keep you posted.” She gave Rio a soft smile and looked like she was about to say something else, but Rio took the pause as an excuse to slip away.

“I’m gonna go mingle a bit more. You know, network or whatever, but I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Jen said. “Yeah, I’ll see you.”

Rio grabbed a star-shaped sugar cookie off a platter at the end of the dining table and popped it into her mouth as she slipped out into the living room before Jen could say anything else.

Agatha was across the room, in another tense conversation with a woman Rio definitely recognized from the library, but she couldn’t quite place the name. Dottie? Sarah, maybe? Either way, Agatha saw Rio looking and shot her a sharp glare. Rio took the hint and headed over to where Alice was fussing with Lilia’s ancient CRT TV.

It turned out it didn’t even have an HDMI port, which meant the karaoke idea was getting nixed, but after a little bit of snooping in the cabinet underneath, Rio found a dusty plug-and-play joystick with a collection of old arcade games that was still in working order, and it only took a few rounds of Frogger before a full-on tournament broke out.

Rio lost sight of Agatha as a small crowd started to gather around the TV, but despite that, if she was being honest, she was kind of actually starting to have a good time. As the clock ticked ever closer to midnight, the crowd did in fact start to thin out, and those who were left were mostly reaching a pleasant state of being under their influence of choice. Conversation and laughter flowed easily, and Rio found herself suitably distracted from worrying about Agatha.

That was, at least, until she caught sight of Agatha slipping away from the rest of the party, making a beeline for the bathroom down the hall with her hand against her face.

That got Rio distracted enough that she ran Ms. Pacman straight into a pixelated ghost to a collective groan from her audience, but Rio found herself not really caring. She passed the joystick off to Alice who was going for the high score on Galaga, and picked her way out of the crowd.

“You good?” Jen asked.

“Yeah,” Rio said. “I’m just gonna grab another drink.”

She headed into the kitchen and grabbed another seltzer—a wild berry Truly this time—and made a pit stop in the dining room to grab a couple of those sugar cookies in a napkin before following Agatha’s path down the hall towards the bathroom. She was barely halfway to the door when she heard the unmistakable sounds of Agatha…well, struggling.

“Hih-TSSHhiu! Heihh-hhETshiw!” Rio heard what she assumed was a hand slamming down hard on the edge of the sink, followed by harsh fit of coughing that only seemed to feed back into the cycle as Agatha paused just long to inhale sharply before—“HHET’Sshiu! Motherfucker!”

“Agatha?” Rio knocked lightly on the door with her knuckle. “It’s just me. You ok?”

“F-fuck off,” Agatha growled. Her voice was really starting to go now—it sounded low and scratchy, cracking between syllables—and though she made a point of turning on the water in the sink, Rio could still hear her sniffling miserably.

“Agatha, come on, don’t do this to yourself.”

She got no response to that, presumably because Agatha knew that her voice wasn’t helping her case at this point. Rio checked the time on her phone; it was after eleven now. If she’d known a few hours ago that this was where they were going to end up, she’d have put her foot down at the start. She should have pushed harder when Agatha was still malleable. Now it felt like she was talking to a brick wall. Or a closed wooden door, she supposed.

Just as she was about to get up to go back to the party, she heard Agatha clear her throat.

“If I’b bothering you so mbuch you can just fucki’g leave,” she snapped.

“Agatha, that’s not…” Rio trailed off as Agatha’s words actually hit her.

Oh.

So that’s what this was all about.

“Listen,” Rio said. “I’m not leaving you. Not because of the party and definitely not because you’re sick. You’re kind of fucking stuck with me whether you like it or not, and I’ll give you space, but I’m not leaving you. Take as much time as you need. I’m heading back out to the living room, but I’ll be here for you whenever you’re ready.”

The water stopped running and Rio could hear Agatha sniffle again. She didn’t say anything, but then again, she didn’t really have to. It was enough just for Rio to know she was actually listening. As she started to turn away, she suddenly remembered the cookies in her hand.

“Oh, and I brought you a little something to eat. They’re right out here if you want them.”

There was a narrow little table with a collection of candles and crystals next to the bathroom door, and Rio set the napkin-wrapped cookies on edge before she headed back down the hallway. When she reached the end, she heard the bathroom door open and shut, and when she turned around, the cookies were gone.

~**~

By 11:30, the party was smaller, but rowdier than ever. Lilia, who had been out on the fire escape more than once, was giggling her way through a tarot reading for Jen over the arm of the other couch. There was music blasting from someone’s phone, and a cheer went up as Alice finally broke her high score. Everyone that was left was talking or laughing, and it was easy enough for Rio to slip back into the fray and plop herself on an overstuffed couch cushion without so much as a glance her way.

The minutes seemed to drag by impossibly slow. 11:45 turned to :50, turned to :55, and Rio was starting to think she might have to press her luck and check on Agatha again when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and speak of the devil, there she was. Her hair obscured most of her face so Rio couldn’t get a great look at her, but she tapped Rio’s shoulder and nodded towards the fire escape, and that was all Rio needed to scramble to her feet and follow her.

There was no one out there at this time of night; everyone left was inside, watching reluctantlyas Alice unplugged the game and tuned the TV in to the Times Square ball drop. Agatha slipped out the open window onto the metal platform, and before Rio could even process what they were doing, Agatha grabbed the railing of the narrow stairs leading up towards the roof and started to climb.

“Ok, not that I’m not glad you’re out here again, but what are the fuck are you doing?” Rio asked, trying not to notice just how high above the city streets they were.

Agatha paused and looked back at her. “I wa’t to watch the fireworks.”

She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like it had been her plan this whole time, and though Rio hated the thought of setting foot on those narrow, creaking stairs, she had to admit that, yeah, she very much did want to watch the fireworks too.

She followed Agatha, and they both scrambled over the lip at the top. After the hazy warmth of Lilia’s apartment, the chill breeze was a welcome change, and Rio had to admit, the view was nice from up here. Rio checked the time on her phone. Two minutes to midnight, and she swore could feel it in the air.

“You don’t have to kiss mbe or adythi’g,” Agatha said. “I just thought this mbight be dice.”

Ninety seconds to midnight.

“Would you stop me if I did?” Rio asked.

Agatha scoffed. “You’d really risk catchi’g this?”

“What can I say?” Rio shrugged. “I’m feeling lucky this year.”

“But I’b gross.”

Rio pressed her cold hand against Agatha’s fever-warm cheek—oh yeah, she was definitely going downhill—and guided her gaze up so she could take her first good look at Agatha’s face in the moonlight.

Agatha’s bright blue eyes were watering so badly it looked like she was crying, and though her mascara had held up valiantly for the last few hours, it was starting to smudge in earnest now. The makeup around her nose was a patchy mess, clinging to the dry, reddened skin where it hadn’t been rubbed off entirely. Her lipstick had honestly held up surprisingly well, although the edges were starting to get fuzzy. All of that coupled with her irritated frown as she sniffled and wrinkled her nose again made her look so pathetically adorable that Rio could almost melt.

“See that’s the funny thing,” Rio said. “You’re saying gross, but all I’m seeing is the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Agatha blushed furiously, but she let Rio pull her closer.

Ten seconds to midnight.

The air was humming with electric energy. Rio was sure there was nowhere else on earth she’d rather be.

Five!

They could hear the countdown from all directions.

Four!

Agatha swore as her nose twitched and she aimed a loud “Hh-ITShoo!” into her shoulder.

Three!

Agatha sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Two!

“Last cha’dce to back out.”

One!

Rio smirked. “Not on your life.”

Happy New Year!

All at once, the city erupted around them, but Rio hardly paid it any mind as her lips met Agatha’s, waiting and eager, and for a moment, they were the only two people in the world. Rio could taste the artificial vanilla of Agatha’s lipstick, could feel Agatha’s poor, abused nose against her cheek as she tangled her fingers in Agatha’s hair and savored absolutely everything about the moment.

Agatha was the first to turn away, gasping for breath that couldn’t break through the wall of congestion in her nose, but she didn’t pull away from Rio’s arms.

They stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads pressed together as the fireworks over the water lit up the night sky around them.

“Rio?” Agatha finally croaked.

“Yeah, love?”

“I dod’t feel very well,” Agatha said. She let her shoulders drop and rested her head on Rio’s shoulder so that her next words came out even softer. “I thigk I’b ready to leave ndow.”

“Oh, you are, huh?”

Agatha nodded weakly against Rio’s neck. Rio bit back a chuckle and carded her fingers through Agatha’s hair, which just made Agatha press closer. She was for sure running a fever now, but Rio didn’t think she needed to say that part out loud.

The fireworks were starting to die down now. The city that slept by 10pm was already quieting again, and a cool breeze blew across the rooftop, making them both shiver. That was enough to finally spur Rio into action. Despite Agatha’s low whine of protest, Rio took a step back, and reached into Agatha’s pocket to find her crumpled handkerchief. She offered it to Agatha who rolled her rheumy eyes, but accepted it gratefully and set about wiping away the tear tracks and the smudged eye makeup. There wasn’t much she could do for her foundation at this point, but after a moment she managed to pull herself back to some semblance of her usual self.

“Ready?”

“H-hold on.” Agatha held up one finger as she inhaled a shaky breath. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lips parted, and she stayed like that for a long moment, before—

Fuck, I lost it.” Agatha scrubbed at her nose with the crumpled handkerchief in frustration before flipping her hair over her shoulder and following Rio to the edge of the roof to step gingerly back onto the fire escape.

The party was well and truly winding down now, but those that were left seemed occupied with champagne and company, so no one seemed to notice when Rio and Agatha slipped back inside. For a second, Rio almost thought they could make a clean break for it. They’d grab their coats and slip outside, and Rio would text Lilia a brief goodbye once they were in the Uber back to Agatha’s place.

That kind of luck didn’t seem to be on their side, though, because Lilia caught them as they passed the kitchen doorway.

“Oh, Rio, are you leaving?”

Rio stopped dead in her tracks like she’d been caught sneaking in after curfew. She could feel Agatha stiffen and clear her throat next to her.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Rio said with a nervous glance at Agatha. “It’s getting late and—”

“I have to let the babysitter go,” Agatha chimed in. “Rio offered to split a car.”

Her voice was fading in earnest now, but Rio noticed how carefully she was choosing her words so at least she didn’t sound too congested on top of it. Her explanation seemed to be enough for Lilia, who smiled at them both.

“Well, get home safe,” she said. “Happy New Year! And Agatha, I hope you feel better soon!”

Agatha’s jaw dropped and she looked like she was contemplating homicide or suicide or both, but Rio just gave her a shove in the direction of the door and gave Lilia a soft “Happy New Year,” and a shy wave in return.

She grabbed both of their coats out of the closet with one hand while she pulled up Uber on her phone with the other. No way they were doing that walk again tonight.

“Ok, driver’ll be here in three minutes,” Rio said.

When Agatha didn’t respond right away, Rio looked up to see her frozen in pre-sneeze torture, her lips parted, eyelashes fluttering, brows knitting together as she took a breath in, and then—

“Oh fuck mbe!” Agatha scowled and pinched the bridge of her nose hard.

“Oh, pobrecita,” Rio breathed. “Let’s get you home.”

Agatha rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, the lost sneeze snuck back up on her with a vengeance just as Jen and Alice passed by on their way to the kitchen.

“HHT’SCHiu!”

“Bless you, Agatha!”

“Fuck off, Jen!” Agatha called back.

With that, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, held her flaming cheeks high, and stalked out of Lilia’s apartment, leaving Rio to call out a soft, “Happy New Year, guys!” before jogging to catch up.

~**~

The ride back to Agatha’s place was short and quiet, and even though she hadn’t strictly been invited, Rio followed Agatha inside where Agatha paid the babysitter, kicked off her shoes, and tossed her coat in the vague direction of the coatrack before throwing herself down onto the couch in the parlor.

Rio had been in Agatha’s house more than a few times, but this—Agatha being this miserable in her own home—was new enough territory that she wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself. She shed her own coat and shoes, and picked up Agatha’s so at least they wouldn’t be a tripping hazard later, and returned to stand behind the couch.

Agatha had one hand dangling towards the floor and the other over her eyes like if she blocked her vision, she could pretend the night had gone differently.

“So,” Rio started carefully. “What are you thinking? Do you want me to stay?”

Agatha moved the hand over her face and looked up at Rio with red, watery, exhausted eyes.

“I cad take care of byself,” she said.

“I know you can. That’s not what I’m asking.” Rio leaned over the back of the couch and reached one hand down to brush a lock of hair out of Agatha’s face, curling it gently around her finger. “Do you want me to stay?”

“You’ll get sick,” Agatha whined.

“Again, not what I’m asking. And for what it’s worth, you did have your tongue in my mouth less than an hour ago, so I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”

Agatha started to laugh, but it quickly turned into a cough that only seemed to irritate her nose as she quickly brought her hands up to cover an itchy sneeze. “hH-IItschu!”

“Salud, baby.”

“Thagks,” Agatha grumbled. She sniffled wetly and wiped her nose roughly on her sleeve. “Ugh, feel gross! I hate bei’g sick.”

Rio bit back a laugh. “I don’t think most people really enjoy it.” She had moved from playing with Agatha’s hair to scratching lightly at her scalp. Agatha’s eyes fell closed and she moaned into Rio’s touch.

“Let me ask a different way,” Rio said. “Do you want me to leave?”

Agatha’s eyes opened again, and when she looked up at Rio with her flushed cheeks and her sniffly nose, Rio felt like she could melt into a puddle on the spot. The flush in Agatha’s cheeks deepened as she slowly shook her head no.

“Ok,” Rio said. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Shut up,” Agatha muttered without any bite.

“Ignoring that because you’re sick,” Rio said. “Now what do you say we get you somewhere more comfortable than the couch so you can get some actual rest, hm?”

It took a few more minutes of gentle prodding from Rio to get Agatha to her feet and up the stairs, but once she was moving, she seemed to be able to handle herself. She poked her head into Nicky’s room before heading to her own room to change while Rio busied herself digging around in the bathroom medicine cabinet.

All Agatha seemed to have was a bottle of Advil, a box of Zyrtec, and a mostly-empty bottle of grape-flavored children’s cold medicine that was missing the measuring cup. Rio vowed to make a supply run in the morning, but for now, the Advil was probably better than nothing. She filled a glass with water from the sink, and then grabbed the allergy meds for good measure and headed for Agatha’s bedroom.

Agatha had already changed into an oversized t-shirt with an ambiguous number three on it, and a pair of worn flannel shorts that were practically indecent. She’d pulled her hair into a loose bun, and she was just finishing wiping off the last of her makeup with a wipe that she tossed carelessly in the direction of the trash can. It missed by a long shot, but Rio thought it was cute that she’d tried.

“Here,” Rio said, holding out the water and two ibuprofen tablets. “You didn’t have much, but this should help keep your fever down.” Agatha took the meds and washed them down without protest, and Rio offered her the box of allergy meds. “I don’t know if these’ll do much, but they might at least take the edge off until I can run out to the store tomorrow.”

Agatha’s cheeks flushed a deeper pink. “About that…”

“What are you…?” Rio trailed off as she pulled the blister pack out of the box and found it completely empty. “Why was this still in the cabinet if you knew it was empty?”

“To remind myself to buy more,” Agatha said like it was completely obvious and not actually one of the most ridiculous things Rio had ever heard.

“Ok, scratch that then.” Rio tossed the empty package into the trash can. “Do you want anything else?”

Agatha shook her head as she set her water on the nightstand.

“Just hurry up and c’mere,” she said, making grabby hands in Rio’s general direction. It was quite possibly the cutest thing Rio had ever seen, and she wiggled out of her nice jeans and into a spare set of pajamas as fast as she could so she could crawl under the covers with Agatha, who immediately attached herself to Rio’s side.

“I’b sorry I was a bitch earlier,” Agatha mumbled.

Rio chuckled as she leaned her cheek against the top of Agatha’s head. “Lucky for you, I kind of like it when you’re a bitch, because I know you don’t mean it.” Agatha grumbled something unintelligible against her neck, but Rio continued, “And because the sooner you get being a bitch out of your system, the sooner we get to do this.”

“Love you,” Agatha mumbled sleepily.

“Y yo a ti, mi amor,” Rio said. She reached back to turn off the lamp on the bedside table and then pressed her lips against Agatha’s warm forehead as she settled back down.

Agatha was already out, her breathing coming in congested little snores that made Rio’s lips twitch into a smile as she felt her own eyes growing heavy. Her last conscious thought before she slipped into sleep herself was that there was nowhere else on earth she’d rather be starting the new year.

#it is almost 4:30am i have work tomorrow but the hyperfocus came in clutch it felt like it took me five minutes to get this polished #never have i claimed to make good choices in the throes of fic writing sdhvnhdfv #i am actually like absurdly proud of this silly little fic so i hope y'all like it too!!#part 2 will be probably a little more a/gatha too but don't worry r/io is DEFINITELY getting a turn with this 😈#a/gathario #a/aa #snzfic #sneezefic #witchywrites #anyway i love you all and this lil community so much and now i'm gonna go sleep for a million years or at least until my alarm goes off 🫡#(also my cat keeps trying to bite my computer as i post this so hello from my cat i guess)#(he didn't help but he wants to be included)

16 notes · View notes

al-luviec · 4 months ago

Text

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

#alek gifs #ninjago #ninjago krux #ninjago acronix #hands of time #time twins #alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times #okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around #i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy #ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy #he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day #contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight #gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex #that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix #there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it #krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity #“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird #like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill #the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up #and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal #then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard #for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how #the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced #hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they #went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade #had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the #for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf

56 notes · View notes

skrunksthatwunk · 2 months ago

Text

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a #video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway #i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha #anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw #that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not #gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out #(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my #reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh #yu yu hakusho #yyh meta #yayyy #yusuke urameshi #literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i #don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor #and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself #but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends #he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat #the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it #and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his #plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan #ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to #which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT #i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass

9 notes · View notes

milfbrainrot · 1 month ago

Text

i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;

#txt #i am used to posting long things that are essentially a conversation with myself because i either don't #want to bother others with certain topics or i just am used to anything i have to say really being... worth saying...#so i will sometimes go back and add more tags because i'm still thinking about it after the fact and the gap in time where someone #would have said something to prompt further thought is just. me continuing it with myself. bc i'm still thinking about it.#and then that translates into how i talk to other people where i sometimes feel like i either have too much to say without only #keeping what's of utmost relevant importance #(which is also due to me knowing if i don't say it Right Now Immediately i will forget if it does become relevant again)#so i am expecting people to read too much #and/or i then am not... listening to people? or i come off like im not listening to people?#even though i rly do try to be attentive i just forget sometimes to leave space for other people to talk because i am #used to only talking to myself so much lmaoo so i think i come off like i only want to Talk At people due to how Much i share #and sometimes i probably am not as attentive in convos as i would like to be but i try to be! i just dont know if the balance is there #but i also don't rly know how to be more concise bc of that mix of not wanting to forget and also not wanting to be misunderstood #and being so excited to get contribute etc #anyway there are also a lot of social things i HAVE been neglecting by accident i am so sorry if youve sent me an ask etc #and you've gotten silence i am getting to things slowly ;-;#i just mean moreover in active conversations the way that i act is like. i always worry i am doing something wrong all the time forever #and maybe i would worry less if i could put more of my thought dump energy into observing others more attentively #to get a better read on things lol #me coming back to this post as an example bc i had another thought:#i also type rly fast and my brain goes rly fast so while i do clean up what i say typically #others might find it more convenient to be more concise due to typing slower #whereas i don't think before i type i just type as i think one to one #i lose thoughts otherwise but Thinking Before I Speak is a lost art to me rip #but then if i am talking to people irl or on voice i am so much more reserved. i ramble a lot!!#but it's easier for me to fall back

7 notes · View notes

littleredstory · 8 months ago

Text

Beta Read my Story???

Little Red is red-y to be consumed as a draft, and I would appreciate it SOOO much if anybody out there would give it a read and tell me their thoughts! I know a couple people have already expressed interest, so please send me a message or email me @ [email protected] if you're willing to do it!!

*EDIT: SHORT SUMMARY: Russel and his older brother Stan are living on their own and working through a lot of issues from their shared past, but things are good. What isn't good is the stray, injured fairy that finds its way to their porch- fairies are a species of intelligent feline evolved to walk upright. They're a designer pet for rich people, and not a lot is known about them because of their small numbers. What's worse is that this one seems capable of understanding and speaking English just fine, so now the two brothers have to figure out what the hell is going on.

The story is 225 pages and 106,000 words long. It's a hefty beast! Because of that and the commitment it takes to beta read something so lengthy, anybody that does it and gives me their thoughts gets 1) a million of my homegrown organic kisses if they so choose and 2, more importantly) a drawing! A single character lined/shaded drawing, which you can see examples of here. One of the few ways I have to thank people for doing this for me!

I'd ideally like for 5 to 10 people to read and give me thoughts, but the more the merrier!

If you message/email to get in on this mundane once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (who else wrote a story called Little Red that they're asking to get beta-read in 2024?) I'll send you the story in whatever format works best, a downloadable file or link to a google doc, and when you're all done just tell me what you think! There's no "time limit" but within a couple of months would be great :]

I would like some detail in the thoughts, and please- be critical! Not mean, but critical! You could read it all and then do a little summary or do small thoughts chapter by chapter, whatever works. I'd say I would like at least hmmm 500 words of thought? More is better, but reading the story just to say "it was good" is not the most helpful feedback.

I'm looking for things like: did you like the characters? Which character was your favorite, and were any significantly weaker than the others? How was the pacing, did it feel too fast or too slow at any point? Did anything stand out to you as really well done or really NOT well done? These are just suggestions and not an exhaustive list of things I'd like to know, and if you have different things to comment on, chat away! It's just an example of some.

Once you do that, I'll reply with a handful of questions about potential changes to the story and if you, the reader, think they'd be positive or negative, and also ask what you'd like drawn.

Does this sound fair? Does this sound okay? I've never written a novel before! I'm going to ask people completely removed from the sphere to read it, too, because I want lots of diverse insight so I can make the story as good as it can be :]

(PS- if you beta read and are qualified to comment on things like how I, whitemen, have written the two black main characters, PLEASE share thoughts and feedback!! I want to write diverse characters, obviously, but I am fallible and human and research can only get me so far. Critique and thoughts on stuff like that, or handling mental illness, or a character with a lot of scars, or a mute character, don't hesitate to share!!)

#i'll be reblogging this post a good bit sorry in advanceeee #genuinely so excited to hear people's thoughts even if they are critical ones!!#its so hard to read the same 100k words a few times and not just accept them as they are #outside input is greatly appreciated in all forms #open up my eyes my friends #sorry this post is so long LOL I have a lot to say and wanted it in one place

18 notes · View notes

stabbyfoxandrew · 6 months ago

Text

every time my dad does anything he has to do it in the most annoying and loudest way possible. and honestly i'm not sure if he means to or he's just really goddamn stupid but it's really really grating. and i'm suffering the werewolf curse rn so i'm ready to die

#motherfucker decides he's going to vacuum and mop the kitchen and dining room.#has to make a lot of noise. has to get out the broken vacuum cleaner and fuck with it for ten minutes before deciding 'oh i will get the on #that does work' like an intelligent person #doesn't know where the cleaning supplies are. jess tells him and he gets the wrong one.#plugged in a fan to dry the floor and somehow it flipped the breaker? he asks where my flashlight is so he can see to flip it back #i tell him it's on the bookshelf. the TOP of the bookshelf. what does he do? rub his filthy bleach hands all over my books #then finally goes 'oh it's right here'. YEAH DUH. i said on top of the bookshelf and Pointed at it. please pleasepl easeeee someone killme #also! last night at 11pm (when i wanted to go to goddamn bed bc i had to get up EARLY so i could take my old dog to his 9am app)#he decided he wanted some food. asked me how long to boil macaroni #when it says so on the box. i tell him.#then he opened the box like fucking wolverine i guess! and had to pour the box into a ziploc bag.#like why are you a 50smth TODDLER?!#how have you lived this long?#is it the alcoholism or smth else? i just GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #anyway sorry for this vent post but i hate having to be alive anyway #but when my Organs are misbehaving and roger is on the loose i really want to run into traffic #lol #diaerie #delete later

11 notes · View notes

thatonecrookedsmile · 8 months ago

Text

It's been a little over a month since I read FTB and I wanted to do (and say, I think) a few things related to it. So here, take this. FTB stuff I was wanting to share.

Including some drawings/my designs for some characters (the ones above), some separate sketches, and giving some long thoughts on the book. (This post is looong so I'm going to put everything under the curtain. Enjoy!)

Starting: Rose, Evan and Archie. They are the ones that, I admit, are what I wanted to draw/design most while/after I read the book. Now, at least, if I want to make something involving one of these three one day, I have designs ready to go! Hooray! Evan is the only one of the three that I actually had to design from scratch. With Rose I had made a sketch 1 year ago conceptualizing the idea for her design, and it was only recently that I came back to this idea to finally solidify it. And I had already done Archie's design last year while I was doing my designs for the human cast of BATDR, so I was already prepared without even knowing it.

Also,Ink!Archie!! The poor guy got screwed pretty badly. First two designs in the first image are based on the events in the book. The one on the left is him seen mostly in the book (alive) and the one on the right is when he is in the Ink Realm, post-death. The design in the second image was supposed to be a stylization/variation of his Cycle design. I tried drawing him with a visible mouth/teeth similar to what I did with Sammy in a recent drawing and in some sketches that I didn't post here. I'm not sure about the beard tho. I think I exaggerated it. Next time, remember to draw less beard in this design. (And maybe, for the design that is more "close to canon", don't draw the ends of the hair and beard in the Cycle design)

Any other character in the book, either I don't have a design and I don't plan on making a design for them now, or I do but it will take a while to show them. (I promise I'll show Dot one day)

I also have some additional sketches. So if you want to take a look at that too, here it is:

Ollie Sorenson. This wasn't quite the way I had imagined him when I was reading the book but 1. the hair I tried to draw for him before didn't work out well, so I went another route and 2. Ollie isn't particularly a character in this book that I'm going to I think a lot in comparison to the others (he's still cool, tho) and I doubt I'll make another design for him, so let's go with this one. Not a bad design,so,eh.

Rose. Sketch on the left was made last year. I'm almost certain it was done after the book synopsis was revealed by Kress. The sketch on the right was made last month when I was reading the book. I took the idea from the sketch on the left and tried to solidify her design better.

Evan. Some other sketches made when I read the book. I had just completed his design and wanted to test it a little more to, you know, see if I can actually draw him. Verdict? I think I can.

And now uhhhhhh what I thought of the book! I previously considered doing a separate text post with these thoughts only but I don't do text-only posts in general and if I were to make a separate post it would take a while and it would come out more than 1 month/probably 2 months since I read the book and it would be kinda awkward. And I'm already writing this post, so why not put it all here now, right?

(Warning: My thoughts on the book ended up being MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TO WRITE. You don't need to read them if you want, they are just more additional and optional things. But if you are going to read them, be warned)

(Spoilers: I may have strayed a little off topic when I started talking about Archie. Don't mention how long his paragraph is, tho)

But yeah, Fade To Black. That was something else, I tell you (and I mean that in a positive way). Probably reading this book after all the fuss that happened about the books a while ago wasn't the best idea possible. But even with…all that in mind, I still wanted to read this for a long time, and I'm glad I went ahead with it. I had a lot of fun with the book! And thinking about it a little over a month after finishing it, I think I can say that this book is up there as, like, one of my favorites of the Bendy books that have been released to date. Before this, I would have considered DCTL my favorite of the books, so I'm somewhere between saying that both of these two are my favorite books in this series and that I like them equally, or that FTB has now become my favorite book of the series, surpassing DCTL. (Maybe I'll have a better idea of this later this year when I reread these books once again)

I really liked the story told, its concept had already interested me since its synopsis was revealed last year - the setting in the 50's, the TV show, the whole 3D glasses thing - so it's no surprise that I was very interested in what this book had to tell. And since I already brought that up: I liked the new concepts it brings to the table,specifically,of course,the glasses and the TV. An idea that,I admit,at first is something I thought was a bit different (and dare i say unusual?) from what I usually see in the Bendy universe (although, it's not something so out of the ordinary from what we've seen before in the series) but I have to say that it's something that I thought was cool even so. 3D glasses that end up transporting your mind into the televised cartoons (and,by all accounts,the ink realm). The jokes I saw that Joey created virtual reality in this book weren't so far-fetched after all lol. But still, it's a concept that I admit to having been interested in, and that it might be cool to play around with in fanon stuff. I also considered this could open doors for other, more "wild" ideas to be explored in the books (as long as they still make sense for a >Bendy< book, of course). I also liked the whole segment taking place in the ink realm at the end of the book, and I hope that this can open up possibilities for future novel stories to take place there, either partially (as in this one) or in full (I accept an entire novel taking place in the cycle,ngl). The additional lore for the ink realm is a nice treat and adds more to what we have in the games. I admit that, at the same time, I feel a little thoughtful about a certain part of this additional lore that - assuming the way I understand it is right - leaves me wondering if this "extended origin" of the cycle coupled with what we already know of its lore would make sense in the games, and how these ideias would be acknowledged in future entries. But at the same time, I may be overthinking this, and the stars may still be aligned, and I've gotten the information wrong. Despite everything, I liked what was told about the ink realm in this book, I appreciate this "extended origin" at the end of the day.

I really liked the cast, both the new ones and the old faces. Rose is great, I really liked her as the protagonist. She's already one of my favorite book characters, I hope we hear from her again in the future. Also, it's good to have a protagonist in these books who survives in the end. Okay, sure, she didn't come out of it 100% unharmed, considering what the ending implies, but still. Again. It's good to have a protagonist in these books who came out of this alive at the end. Evan is also very good. Even though I want to slap him on the back of the head, I also hope to hear from him again, especially considering the way he "exited the story" (is that how you say it?). I talked about the possibility of a future novel taking place in the ink realm, I think that would give a good chance of bringing him back, now as an ink creature. I don't have much to say about Ollie, but I also thought he was cool. The scenes between him and Rose are very nice and the scenes related to the "Bendy Visions" caused by the glasses is another concept that I found very interesting (Tense moments, but cool ones nonetheless) Very happy to see Dot again. I like her character, and I always wanted to see what happened to her after the events of DCTL (TLO had already implied that she was still alive, but I wanted to know more, you know). Her participation in this book is very good, and a chapter that I have to highlight is the one where she meets Rose and they talk in the cafe. Their conversation alone is very good, but the specific part that got me was Dot talking about Buddy, what happened to her after the first book, and Buddy's family. That part was like. A slap in the heart, I'm not going to lie. This chapter made me sad, 10/10. Favorite chapter of the book.

Archie Carter was a big surprise (not really, I already knew he would be here before reading the book), and he is another of my favorite aspects of the book. It's good to see one of the characters from BATDR's human cast ending up being used more in a story. Archie in the game, like other characters we saw in the audio logs in DR, is a "One and done" situation where we only hear from him once and that's it, combined with the fact that he is ultimately just another background character who exists mostly to fill the world and give information that is not necessarily integral to the main things that occur in the game and is more to tell about different things, people and events that were also occurring inside the studio and in the outside world ( those of the lost city and Gent Workshop, essentially) pre-game events. (I really don't know how to explain this properly, but I would say that the "thing" of the information given by the new human cast (with the exception of the Archs) is the same thing as the characters who are giving such information: filling the world. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying) And while I wouldn't say the information on these tapes is really irrelevant (in Archie's case, he provides some of the most interesting), and in my case, I don't mind the addition of the newbies, I don't blame other people for not being interested, don't get attached to or even dislike these new characters who don't do much in the grand scheme of things in DR and in comparison to the BATIM cast (or at least, the majority of the IM cast). So seeing at least 1 of these newcomers being used more deeply in a story and having their characters expanded is good! And I liked what was done with Archie here. You know the guy who worked at Gent as a test subject and who saw bad things happening at the company? Guess what! Same company screwed up his life and now he's a half-human-half-ink creature guy infected with evil ink and his current situation is not good at all! He's going through horrors unfortunately (especially in the cycle), but I really like what Adrienne did with Archie in this book. Again, he is one of the highlights of this book, and I hope that something similar ends up happening with other DR characters in future stories (manifesting the novel that uses Bill Danton and/or Grace Conway in some capacity 🙌) Plus, I also think it's cool that of all the DR characters to be used, it was the one voiced by SuperHorrorBro who ended up being chosen for this book (I like SHB, what can I say)

Joey (like in the other books) is a standout (and considering what we specifically see of him in this book, he's especially a standout here). More of Allison, even though in the end it's just a small one-scene cameo. Finally, I'm being fed the bread crumbs I craved. And I think now I have another version of Henry to talk about. My collection is growing strong, now I have 3 versions of my favorite old man! Among the new ones, and especially the secondary and tertiary ones, Papa D and Gladys are nice, even though they don't have much time in the story. Oh, and Wilson showed up too. He doesn't do much either, he's just there to be creepy. But I will acknowledge him.

I also enjoyed seeing some of the ideias showcased first in BATDR here (which makes sense, this book came out well after the game finally released). I always found it interesting to see more of Gent in the spotlight, and reading and knowing a little more about the things they were doing after JDS closed is nice. (And I think it's good to see more reaffirmation of what BATDR had already implied. That Gent also had eyes on the Ink Machine even when the studio was still open, and when the studio collapsed, they still continued the ink experiments in their own facilities. Again, this was already something that had been shown in DR, but it's good to see more reaffirmation here) The appearance of the Siverlane Express was something that I really appreciated, even if it was something very short. I ealready talk about Archie in one giant paragraph, and again, Wilson is here too.

There isn't really anything I "disliked" about this book, but at most, I only have a few nitpicks. The Ink Demon appears in the story, but compared to DCTL and TLO, I feel FTB is definitely the book where he appears the least. I mean, yeah, the story isn't about him in the end, but it's still something I managed to notice. I also feel that, in my opinion, this is the least "scary" of the 3. Not that it doesn't have "scary" elements but still, compared to moments in the other books like Buddy in the infirmary, or the TLO trio in the old factory, I don't know if this book would be the most "scary" of the trilogy. However,FTB still has several suspenseful scenes (the Bendy visions, some scenes with Ollie, Archie's pre-introduction, Wilson in the library), which I also like anyway. And I'll admit. While this idea isn't that far out there - and in the context of the story, it makes sense - I kind of raised an eyebrow a little at the whole "using your mind/imagination to get out of the ink realm" thing. It is not bad! And again, with what we saw in the book, this idea actually fits with what we had seen so far in the story. But I can't lie that when we got to this moment I was like "oh, this is something that happened, I guess", you know? But even so, I didn't dislike the idea.

(I once saw someone describe this part of the book as "they canonized no-clipping in Bendy" and you know what? I think that's funny. I think we need to start referring to this idea in the book as that instead of "using the imagination" /hj)

But even so, even with these small "nitpicks", I still had a lot of fun with this book. I really enjoyed reading it, and not only is it now one of my favorite Bendy books so far, I dare say it's one of my favorite things about the franchise in general. Like, if I had to make a top 3 of my favorite things from the Bendy series so far, I'd say it's this book and the first two mainline games. I guess this is to show how much I enjoyed the book!

And with that, my journey with the Bendy books ends. At least, with the books I managed to have access so far. I have no plans to pursue the updated version of the Employee Handbook so far, but from what I've heard and seen so far, I'm not missing anything too important. And the DCTL graphic novel….exists. It's definitely a graphic novel that exists. Dare I say that it is definitely one of the graphic novels of all time, alright. But what have I read so far? It was what I would say, a good journey. I've been interested in the Bendy books for a long time, and it's been a while since I read them, and I'm glad I did, despite recent events. Of course, they have their flaws and problems too, I have things about them that I myself identify as bumps in the road (and that applies to the novel trilogy too btw) But even with them in mind and acknowledging them, I still think that they are worth something. And I hope people still continue to recognize them and give them a chance. Even with its flaws, and with their whole canocity thing that happened a while ago, I still believe that people should check out the books eventually. Give it a chance, you know? If they did, and liked what they read, great! But if they don't like it, that's okay too! In the end, at least they, on both sides, gave it a chance. And that's what I at least want to see. I don't like the idea of discarding these things and pretending they don't exist just because the devs said they aren't canon to the games (because, in my view, just because the books aren't canon doesn't make them without value or that you can't have fun with them after all)

WOW, this is getting long, I think I got carried away. I think that's all I had to say. To conclude everything, here is my list of the Bendy books that I like the most and the ones I like least:

Fade To Black (I've already talked a lot about this book)

Dreams Come To Life (hand in hand with FTB being in first place. It has its flaws, some that may have already been mentioned before, but I still found myself liking it in the end. For a first novel, it worked out fine)

Crack-Up Comics (Really liked the comics. It's good to see more things related to the cartoon characters, and I like some of the characters introduced. Pretty fun stuff)

The Lost Ones (it's not a very "Bendy" focused book compared to the others, and I don't blame those who didn't like this one because of the lack of many Bendy elements, but I confess that I still liked it as much as the other 2, and I loved the protagonists of this one. Even so, of the trilogy, it is the weakest book)

The Illusion of Living (In itself, it's an interesting read. It's really cool to see more of Joey from a deeper angle, and see more of his past. But I confess that it's not my favorite read, and I still prefer the main novels. Not bad, tho)

JDS Employee Handbook (2019) (For the first Bendy book overall, it's not bad, and I like the lore tidbits it has. But compared to the rest, it's actually the weakest)

The TL;DR is: Fade To Black is fun and my favorite, I liked its story and characters. I liked the books. Check them out if you want. If you liked them, cool. If you didn't like them, that's cool too. Read in general.

And if you've read this far: Thank you! And at the same time, I'm sorry! Have a good day/afternoon/night everyone. Peace.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy and the dark revival #batdr #bendy: fade to black #bendy ftb #rose sorenson #evan ftb #archie carter #ollie sorenson #crookedsmileart #SORRY FOR 2/3 OF THE POST BEING LONG AS HECK #I got carried away a lot and there was no way back #I considered kind of deleting everything and rewriting it in a shorter way #but then I would erase a work that I could not erase #So there it is; my review (kind of) of Fade To Black #a book that changed my brain probably #and for now; my marathon of rereading the Bendy books is over #for now at least #I'm going to reread the trilogy again this year; I hope lol #Now I wait for a fourth novel #I really hope we get past 3 novels #I doubt we won't have a fourth book written by Kress #But still #I hope this really happens #I had a lot of fun with FTB; I don't want to stop here; you know #as a side note; I have no plans to read the books that will come out this year #not in the tradicional way at least;#i'll figure it out;just saying #blink;blink

8 notes · View notes