#sorry this post is so long LOL I have a lot to say and wanted it in one place

[stellarparallax]

Thank you to everyone who replied and reblogged with their own insights! I really do appreciate it 🙏

For so long I only ever saw therians and otherkin speaking about their kintypes with such a fond and familial bond that I thought I must have gotten it wrong or confused on my end. I spent a lot of time just privately grilling myself, thinking that surely I must have made a mistaken conclusion somewhere down the line. It was pretty exhausting, but even still I feel like I'm a little better for it.

Every time I would take a step back or re-anylize my feelings, I would still come up canine. Sometimes dog, sometimes dog a little to the left, sometimes fox, sometimes a nonexistent kind of canine that was still definitely a canine but fantastical or interpretive... I had come to the conclusion that despite my feelings, I was still canine.

I kinda just loosely shorthand it to "dog" nowadays, because it feels the most comfortable. But I'm a dog in the same way a child might point at a fox and cal it a doggy, not really yet separating the two in their mind. Everything else I've said still stands, I don't really particularly care or even consider them "kin" in the way kin can be used towards family or those like you. Not to say "lone wolf" or anything, but truly I feel better off as a "lone dog."

It feels nice hearing others say things similar, and how dogs not socialized with other dogs might not really like dogs in general. Feels like a bit of a relief, like I'm not come to any baseless conclusions after all. And I realized even if the conclusions I made about myself ARE baseless, I'm not sure how much it matters so long as my feelings are genuine.

I'm sure it's finding therian forums back in the early 2000s that left this impression of ruthless questioning on me lol

There's no real conclusion, I just wanted to say thanks and expand a little bit on my original point (since I kinda omitted every other canine for some convenient personal shorthand, and maybe misled some people, sorry) Thank you for taking the time to read my silly little posts!

Something I wanted to share about my feelings with therianthropy...

I am a dog.

I don't like dogs, I don't like being around real life dogs that much, they kinda tend to annoy me most of the time. I don't really feel myself having any affinity for dogs in general, even fictional dogs are just sort of "okay" to me. There are some cartoon dogs I can think "yeah he's cool or chill" but it doesn't really go any further than that.

I dont even see myself in dogs, but I see myself AS A DOG.

And I've never been able to change this.

I prefer cats, I feel more affinity for cats, I communicate better with them IRL, I've lived with cats all my life (my family never had dogs as pets) and in general I think cats are aesthetically more pleasing to look at than dogs, not that that's the dog's fault or anything.

I wish I could be a cat sometimes, I even tried to call myself a cat, draw myself as a cat, mimic cat behaviour, all that stuff where you try it on and see if it fits, makes you feel comfortable...

But I still feel like I'm a dog.

I've talked about this occasionally with friends and in some furry fandom spaces, which all of them said about the same thing. "Well why don't you just BE a cat then?"

To which my answer, with sadness and longing, is only "I don't know."

[aprillikesthings]

So this is somewhat of a continuation of my "you could headcanon Catra as demisexual based on canon" post, but I wanted to write a new post for this.

So there’s a fascinating conversation to be had about why, in fics where Catra and Adora aren't together (yet), so many of us have written Adora as…not a prude per se, but far less likely to hook up with other people—and have written Catra doing that, instead. (I mean, I have an unpublished WIP that includes that; I'm not throwing stones at glass houses here.)

And I do think some of it is that Adora is awkward in that way that’s so often some combo of a sheltered upbringing/ADHD/autism; whereas Catra is in fact more openly flirtatious.

(Disclaimer: In this post I'm using "slutty" in a neutral-to-positive sense.)

But the irony is that One, plenty of people who share those qualities with Adora are in fact hella slutty*; and Two, Catra clearly doesn’t intend to follow through on all that flirting.

ANYWAY time for my actual thesis of this post:

The real reasons, IMHO, that it's easier to see Adora as less slutty than Catra:

Adora is so visibly uncomfortable in her skin, and Catra is not

Adora doesn't even realize when she's attracted to other people

Catra however is aware of when people find her attractive (and changes how she interacts with them based on that)

The tweets aren't connected; they weren't part of the same thread. But ND's made no secret of the fact that he gave Adora a bunch of his own traits**, and it was after s5 that he started coming out as trans--which isn't to say Adora is intended to be read as dysphoric. But the way Adora never thinks of herself or what she wants carried over into not thinking about her physical body as anything other than a tool, and not feeling comfortable in her body, and not feeling like she owned it. (Which....is probably related to ND's religious trauma, considering how many conservative/fundie Christians straight-up tell women and girls their body doesn't belong to them. In those words. Literally.)

And I think that's part of why Adora reads as so awkward. The idea of someone wanting her and finding her attractive is just bizarre to her to the point that she doesn't even see it.

She does clearly find other people attractive! But I don't think she realizes she's doing it--she reminds me a bit of when I was 15 and stared at women in bikinis on the beach and tripped over my own feet because I was looking at them and not where I was going lol, and had literally zero idea I was doing it until my best friend told me about it later.

Adora didn't even know she wanted to kiss Catra until just before it happened--if Glimmer had pulled Adora aside in the Crimson Waste and said "lol you want Huntara so bad," Adora would've been genuinely confused!

And that's all before you get into the whole She-Ra thing, and you could write a long-ass essay about Adora's sense of identity and the degree to which she sees She-Ra as herself or not. But the fact is that She-Ra has a different body than Adora! Taller, stronger, a lot more hair lol. And the people around her clearly value She-Ra differently than they do Adora. So that's a whole. Thing.

Meanwhile: Catra just feels comfier in her body. She does try to tamp down her cat-like qualities to some degree, especially in s4, but a lot of it was just that her ears and tail tended to give away her emotions, and she was trying to hide them. She stops suppressing that at some point after Save the Cat. (And then the Universe gave her a mood ring alien cat, lol.) Catra's got her own pile of Issues, but her body is just not one of them.

There’s a scene at the end of The Coronation (s4ep1) where Catra is in her s4 outfit for the first time, and she basically does the “I’m in charge now” thing at Hordak, and I’m sorry but it’s...not NOT sexually charged, even leaving aside that her new outfit has thigh slits and a boob window. She’s sitting in his throne and purring (loudly!) and then purrs out a "Hey, Hordak."

She basically forces him to his knees, taunts him, and then we see from his POV as she sits back in that throne and crosses her legs. If she’d done that in a scene with literally any non-male character it would be seen as ship-bait!

Is she intentionally flirting with Hordak? Lol no.

But you'll notice: She doesn't do it with Scorpia, when she's mean to Scorpia. With Scorpia she's just...biting and cruel. So she clearly has some idea what she's doing when she taunts people, enough that she knows Scorpia would take it differently. She knows Scorpia finds her attractive and is trying to push Scorpia away.

Catra also doesn't do it with Double Trouble! Double Trouble flirts with Catra, but Catra gives none of it back, and as noted in my previous post, is even visibly uncomfortable with it at times.

Which isn't to say Adora never does the "flirtatious taunting" thing:

But like, where. Where do you think she learned it from.

(this post is once again relevant)

EDIT: another example of Adora learning it from Catra, taken from a "She-Ra Crack" video:

(*Me. In my 20’s. Just remember kids, lots of neurodivergent nerds are hella slutty.) (**iirc that's how he got diagnosed with ADHD. Everyone just like "hey is Adora intentional ADHD rep" and he was like "no, I wrote her like me?? ...oh. shit.")

(Lastly: anyone reblogging this to shame people for writing/hc'ing/shipping whatever they want will get blocked. I'm not even sure I hc Catra as demi and I wrote a whole post about it lol.)

[ryuichirou]

TWST boys’ sleeping habits and routine HCs

Our first HC post of the year! Let’s talk about TWST boys’ sleeping habits.

Anonymous asked:

May I request sleep habits for twst? Who snore? Who drools? Who clings onto you in your sleep? Who falls out of bed w/o waking up? Who knocks others out of bed? Who has a constant sleep schedule? Who has the worst? Who likes to share a bed? Who doesn't? Who does no one want to share a bed with?

Anonymous asked:

In honor of the sleepover bday card (Tysm for these, yana) do you have any hcs about their sleeping habits? How long they sleep, sleeping positions, any bedtime routines and the like?

I got the first ask back in autumn I think (yikes), and with each new bday card I kept thinking “I really should write this one faster” lol With the new theme for those cards, as amazing as it is (we’re obsessed), there is a chance that they might drop some crucial information about the topic of this post! Which would mean the most horrible thing – there is a chance that my hc might contradict canon…!! 😱

Jokes aside, please keep in mind that I write them without diving into the new cards. Which is exactly the point I guess – those are headcanons after all…

Thank you for this prompt, it was a very fun one to write, and I hope you enjoy reading it <3 Sorry it took so long!

Anyways…

Riddle – he has a pretty strict regimen, and just like some other boys in the cast, he gets very obviously sleepy around the same time every day. The cutest eepiest slow blinks… He goes to sleep pretty early, maybe around 10 PM, and he is very strict with others in that regard as well, but in actuality sometimes night becomes his opportunity for a “me time” when he can get a little self-indulgent and read a book instead. He knows that he shouldn’t do it, and that he’ll be tired and irritable the next day, but it would be a lie to say that Riddle absolutely never does that. Once he discovers books that aren’t encyclopedias or study guides, he’ll start doing it more often… He also looks like an angel when he sleeps! And he drools a little bit, but also pouts adorably. He also loves pushing his face against the pillow sometimes and hugging it. He’d probably cuddle or press his cheek against someone if he got to sleep with another person…

Ace – a fighter, not a lover. If he sleeps with someone, he’ll steal both the blanket and the second pillow somehow. He’ll also kick and punch and occasionally even nibble a little, just to drool all over the other person and/or a pillow. But also, he wakes up during the night a lot. It’s not like he has insomnia, but sometimes he finds it difficult to fall back asleep, so he ends up just hanging out, scrolling internet on his phone and watching his roommates sleep. Well, mostly Deuce, because his bed is the closest. And even though Ace himself is a pretty obnoxious sleeper, sometimes he can spend like an hour just giggling at poor Deuce… Jokes on Ace though: because of his sleepless shenanigans he hates waking up! He is never rested enough..!

Deuce – he mumbles in his sleep and moves a little… you know when a dog starts suddenly whining and “running” while sleeping because it dreams of chasing someone? That’s Deuce. He is not too active at night, but Ace saw him punching the air once and saying something like “serves you right”, and Ace had to bite his own hand not to laugh loudly waking everyone up. Deuce also says embarrassing stuff sometimes. He also called Ace an idiot in his sleep at least 5 times. He wakes himself up doing that sometimes, but pretty rarely. When he does though, he usually sits up on his bed and takes a couple of moments to figure out what’s going on. Ace loves talking with him when he is in this confused stage…

Trey – he probably falls asleep pretty fast because he gets tired by the end of his busy days. But he never really feels properly rested, even though he sleeps a normal amount of hours… is it because he sleeps on his stomach? He also looks kind of angry when he’s sleeping, as if he’s seeing some very bad dreams. But he never really remembers them when he wakes up, maybe he doesn’t see any bad dreams at all! But it’s not unusual for him to frown and squeeze a pillow or a blanket in a very tight grip while he’s sleeping. He also doesn’t really snore, but sighs every now and then, so a potential roommate might hear a very deep annoyed and disappointed sigh from Trey, only to look at him and see that he’s just sleeping… If he was to sleep with someone though, he’d probably have a hard time relaxing and would wait until the person is asleep. Especially if it’s Riddle.

Cater – he spends the majority of the night in his phone lol he doesn’t even have much to do there, he just scrolls through Magicam or watches videos on topics he isn’t really interested in. And he is sleepy when he does that, he recognises that he should probably go to sleep already, but he can’t quite beat this habit, so he just keeps sleeping for like 3-5 hours a day. He wouldn’t do it if he had someone to sleep with though! Or at least he thinks that, but he’d probably still spend the majority of the night chatting with the person instead lol For now he gets away with it because he snoozes during the classes, but whenever he hears someone talk about how bad it is for your health to cling to your phone instead of sleeping, he gets mildly annoyed.

Leona – a pretty seamless transition between his “just napping” and “sleeping” lol Sometimes he naps after dinner and then at some point it becomes “well it’s night already anyways so might as well go to sleep”. And then he wakes up during the night and walks around his dorm while everyone’s asleep… and goes right back because he is pretty bored, and there isn’t much to do. He changes his positions a lot throughout the night, but usually ends up sleeping on his back – it’s the most comfortable position to him. It’s not unusual to see him sleeping on his side facing the wall, or on his stomach with his butt in the air for some reason. Leona is a pretty quiet sleeper, but sometimes he makes little sniffing sounds. Sometimes he makes one (1) snore and wakes himself up and looks shook for a moment or two. He also calls himself a capricious prince, but sometimes he actually prefers to sleep on the floor. Not all the time though, he loves his bed as well. He also hates the idea of sleeping with someone, but it’s not like he would bother to wake up and tell the other person to leave if he was in this situation.

Ruggie – if he is in a very good mood, well-fed and comfortable and safe, he is a happy snoring starfish. He drools a lot, and even when he doesn’t snore, his breathing is still pretty loud and a bit hoarse, but it also sounds like he is pretty happy. But that doesn’t happen all the time, for the most part he curls into a ball and snores quietly every now and then, with his ears twitching, as if he is constantly trying to still be aware of his surroundings. For the most part he is a light sleeper and doesn’t even sleep for more than 5-6 hours, but when he gets especially tired, he doesn’t wake up easily. He hated waking up at night because when it happens, he has to get comfortable again – he wants his pillow to be super cold, but it’s already a little sweaty and all warm! This is the worst feeling.

Jack – as we know, he always goes to sleep at the same time, and he gets very sleepy at 10 PM. He wakes up pretty early though, probably the earliest in his entire dorm, at around 5 AM. It’s not as hot when it’s this early, plus he really loves the solitude: he feels like he gets more shit done this way, and of course it gives him plenty of time to exercise and jog. As for his sleeping habits, he doesn’t move at all when he sleeps. He just lies on his side, hugs the pillow and sleeps… similarly to Deuce, Jack gets those sleeping puppy moments, but his are a bit different: sometimes Jack growls in his sleep, he also frowns a lot. There are rare moments when he sleeps with his tongue out and breathes through his mouth, but it happens mostly when it’s too hot, and he starts throwing away pillows and blankets without waking up when it happens. He gets hot pretty easily… He also drools a little less than Ruggie, but still a lot.

Azul – he sleeps for exactly 7.5 hours each night to optimise his time, and he is an extremely cautious and light sleeper. Unless he is absolutely exhausted, he won’t fall asleep anywhere other than his bedroom, behind closed and locked doors. It’s not like he is expecting an assassin or two at all times to attack him at any moment, and life on the land isn’t as dangerous as his hometown underwater, but isn’t comfortable with the idea of becoming too comfortable, so to speak. It’s a habit, I guess. Any unexpected sound or movement would wake him up. Unless he is absolutely exhausted, that is; we’ve seen him falling sleep with his head on Riddle’s shoulder in ch6 after all… Azul also lives tiny and dark spaces, so he hides under his blanket. Even though his bed is pretty big, Azul doesn’t take up that much space at all, curling up with his knees almost touching his chin. He also absolutely wouldn’t call himself a cuddler, but it’s not really true: he hugs his pillow a lot with his arms and legs, and if he was to sleep with someone, he would probably hug them as well. It sounds cute, but he is actually too rough sometimes because he is used to grabbing things. He could also pinch the person he sleep with… octopus habits… poor Idia is covered in bruises :(

Jade and Floyd – they have different sleeping patterns, but a similar “base” for it. They go to sleep at different times, and since they share a room, it’s kind of a problem.  Jade goes to bed pretty much at the same time each night; sometimes because he gets tired, sometimes to spite Floyd a little by saying “I am so tired, can you please turn off the lights already?” Sometimes he genuinely wants to sleep, but it’s Floyd who is annoying him… and every now and then there are nights when Floyd is absolutely exhausted and goes to sleep early, and Jade takes it as an opportunity to troll him back by suddenly deciding to clean a terrarium while humming a song. Why now of all times? A sudden strike of inspiration <3 You can either blame neither of them, or both of them for that: both are aware that they’re annoying the other by not letting him sleep. Anyways, when it comes to their sleeping habits, both are swimmers. They either move their bodies in the same manner as if they’re swimming (sometimes it just looks like Floyd is aggressively humping his bed but that’s not it I swear), or rotate. Because eels love rotating, the second option happens surprisingly often, so both of them are at risk of falling from their beds and rotating on the floor until they bonk each other with their heads and proceed to sleep on the floor. The funny thing is, when they sleep underwater, they’re pretty calm and don’t move as much; I guess they do miss swimming… Floyd is also more of a cuddler than Jade, but Jade is more of a muncher. If Idia sleeps with both of them, the bite marks are going to be Jade’s…

Kalim – it looks like he sleeps without a care in the world, which isn’t really the case because his bad experiences have taught him to wake up very quickly and to react to sudden noises. He is actually pretty tender and capricious as well, if something about his sleeping conditions isn’t perfect, he’s going to react. Every now and then Kalim just goes to Jamil with “hey, Jamil? I can’t sleep” and asks for them to sleep together, or insists of chatting because he isn’t sleepy anyway. Kalim loves not sleeping alone, but talking through the night is something that Kalim absolutely adores. They used to do it a lot when they were kids, and always got in trouble for that (esp considering that Kalim sleeps for the entire day after a sleepless night)…Kalim also clings a lot, but then he suddenly gets too hot and pushes Jamil away without even waking up. But then he gets a bit chiller and starts clinging again. He drools and makes cute little sounds, and anyone other than Jamil would probably find sleeping Kalim as adorable as one would find a babbling toddler. Jamil, however, is very tired…

Jamil – another cautious sleeper, he is almost never 100% asleep, so in a way he is worse than Azul. He does get sleepy though, he is indeed very tired, and it sucks because the tiny window of time before he falls asleep is his only opportunity to get some “me time” and read a book or play games on his phone, but he never does that because he is always exhausted. So after his sleeping preparations, washing his face, brushing his hair and all that stuff, he just wants to sleep… he also hates sleeping with someone, because they (let’s be honest mostly Kalim) would accidentally tug on Jamil’s hair, plus it’s too hot to sleep with someone on a small bed, plus he isn’t really a cuddler anyway. Anyways, he goes to sleep like an hour after Kalim’s sleepy time, and wakes up ~3-4 hours before him. Which isn’t enough time to get a nice rest, but… let’s hope that when Jamil gets to travel and has a hotel room all for himself, he’ll have his first ever nice sleep…

Vil – one of the strictest ones when it comes to his sleeping regimen! Beauty sleep is important, discipline is important, and if one has to work or study during the night, they’re just very bad at time management! Of course, there are days when Vil has to stay up late too… but he hates when it happens; he just wants to have his evening beauty routine, wash his face without a rush, take a nice shower, apply an overnight beauty mask, brush his hair, put on his sleepwear, relax in his bed and have a nice deep sleep from 10:30 PM to 5:30-6:00 AM. Oh, he also wears a sleeping mask and even earplugs sometimes, and also tries to teach himself not to use his phone while in bed. It just ruins his mood, and it’s bad for one’s health too, but he still gives in and scrolls Magicam in bed sometimes. And when it comes to sharing a bed with someone, he is a bit conflicted – it’s not like he hates cuddling, in fact, he enjoys spending the night in his loved one’s embrace, and he doesn’t even get too pissy about feeling hot, sweaty or uncomfortable in that situation, but… I guess Vil just loves having a big bed all for himself lol This is his moment of privacy. So whether he’ll spend the night alone or cuddling depends entirely on his mood that day. He is a very quiet sleeper, and the most that could be heard from him is a cute quiet moan when he’s being disturbed by something.

Rook – does he sleep? Or is he too busy being in everyone’s walls? His roommate doesn’t quite get it: when he falls asleep, Rook isn’t there yet, and when he wakes up, Rook’s already left. He knows that Rook sometimes spends the night with Vil, but… In actuality, Rook does sleep, but he is very strategic about his sleeping schedule. He doesn’t sleep much during the night, 4-5 hours is his max because he has too much to do! Sometimes he takes short 20 minutes powernaps during the day while he’s hiding around. This man is, once again, a creature. Also, even though one would say it’s impossible to catch Rook sleeping, people do see him sleeping sometimes – it’s just that he learned how to do it with his eyes open and while sitting up. Which is… a bit scary, so anyways! When it comes to his bedtime routine, after all the beauty stuff is done, he spends quite a lot of time to admire the pictures that he took and the sketches that he drew of everyone that day – this is a very important ritual to him! But despite that, he actually really enjoys sharing a bed with someone, be it for intimacy or just for cuddling. He hugs and kisses a lot, even when the other person is already asleep. He also loves watching him sleep, which is not creepy at all!

Epel – he shouldn’t use his phone in his bed, but he does! When he manages to sneak it under his blanket, that is. But it’s also not unusual for him to fall asleep while holding a phone and to have it fall on his pretty little face, waking him up. So he tries not to overdo it… he is a very cute sleeper though! He makes sounds, but a little weird ones, like little whines or even tiny mewls sometimes. And sometimes he giggles very cutely! What kind of dreams are you having, Epel?! Anyways, he is a deep sleeper that munches on his pillow sometimes. It’s better than sucking a thumb, and I won’t say that Epel just taught himself out of that fairly recently, but I also won’t say that this isn’t the case. Alright, no more bullying lol I think he sleeps on his side while hugging a blanket. Very adorable, until he starts snoring or swearing in his sleep…

Idia – a lot of times he just falls asleep in front of his PC. Especially now that he doesn’t have Ortho to share a room with, but even when Ortho was his roommate, he’d go to the sleeping mode at some point and tell Idia to go to sleep as soon as possible, Idia would reply with “yeah yeah I’m going” and play games for 2 more hours until falling asleep in his chair… Sometimes he wakes up at like 5 AM, realising that he’s been sleeping for a while, and lazily crawls on top of his bed without even changing into his pjs. He doesn’t really have much of a routine… He also curls up when he’s sleeping, looking like a cute kitten, and you almost feel bad for him somehow when you look at him. Is it because his relaxed face is so pathetic? Or should we feel bad because of how troubled he is when he’s asleep? Anyways, Idia either sleeps for 3-4 hours and naps throughout the day, or sleeps for 10 hours and feels weird when he finally wakes up. He is also super not used to sleeping with someone else and would be uncomfortable, but there is a part of Idia that wouldn’t mind getting backhugged by Azul (until he starts pinching) or… sometimes Idia wonders if Muscle Crimson hugs his possibly existing wife when they sleep.

Ortho – I guess not applicable this time :( But he does consider himself charging in his sleeping mode to be his sleeping routine! Sometimes he “wakes up” earlier than everyone and just flies around the dorm though. Human!Ortho would be a very nice sleeper though, he would change poses like 10 times per night, even kick poor Idia a little. He would prefer to sleep in Idia’s bed even when they aren’t roommates anymore, and he would probably be one of the biggest cuddlers in the cast!

Lilia – no regimen, his sleeping schedule is a mess, pretty similar to Idia’s. He used to be very good at it when he was younger, but now he just plays games all night lol And then after saying good night to his internet friend, he decides to go to bed and… stumbles upon some useless junk in his room and decides to play with it! It’s okay, old people don’t need to sleep all that long, if at all sometimes. It’s not unusual for Lilia to completely ditch sleeping, but he can’t do it for more than one day… When it comes to position, Lilia just falls flat on his bed and starts snoring loudly. He has that dad snore… He also changes positions a lot, and he could kill a guy with how suddenly he moves and rolls. Sometimes he also sleeps upside down, hanging from his bed’s canopy. He also doesn’t mind sleeping with someone, he is pretty used to it! In a lot of ways… but people sleeping with him get punched and kicked unless he hugs them tightly, so not everyone is really up to that.

Silver – after his evening training, his nighttime routine and checking on his father to tell him to go to sleep already, Silver comes back to his room… and sleeps. Even his evening routine doesn’t take that long – I don’t think he uses any products on his face or even brushes his hair much. He washes himself, changes into his pjs and goes to bed… And for the most part he sleeps on his back, looking like a certain cursed princess. There isn’t much to say about the way he sleeps, but he breathes very quietly and cutely, and looks absolutely stunning. His roommates really want to kiss him sometimes… but not a single one dared to do it so far. Silver also doesn’t mind sleeping with someone, but to him it wouldn’t really make s difference one way or another.

Sebek – amazingly strict regimen that he follows dutifully! He’s never late, he always wakes up exactly one minute before his alarm and turns it off! He goes to bed at 11 PM and wakes up at 5 AM! And it doesn’t make him sleepy in the slightest – in fact he has too much energy to burn and too much things to do! That being said, sometimes he wakes up randomly in the middle of the night and has a hard time falling back asleep. I guess he’s just too agitated and overly excited sometimes… But he tries to quiet his thoughts and get back to sleep as soon as possible. When it comes to his sleeping habits, he is surprisingly… chill. One would expect him to be more obnoxious, but he yells in his sleep extremely rarely! Once every 2-3 months… so you never know when it’s going to happen next. He also looks at his liege’s portrait before going to sleep and when he wakes up, this is the first and last thing he sees every day, and it warms his heart and fills him with determination. As for sleeping with someone, he doesn’t mind if he has to do it, but he doesn’t see a point in that either. A silly boy…

Malleus – sometimes it feels like he doesn’t sleep at all. Maybe he doesn’t really need to sleep as much as humans do? Which is kind of ironic, but anyways, it’s not unusual for his bed to be empty at night because Malleus suddenly decided that he isn’t really sleepy, and figured he’d rather go on a walk. Sometimes he just walks around the dorm, but a lot of times he goes outside to get some fresh air. He loves the time of night when everything is quiet and everyone’s asleep, he finds it melancholic… perfect for drowning in deep thoughts, admiring gargoyles and reading. Anyways, when he does sleep, he almost doesn’t look alive: he breathes very quietly and looks so pale and cold… he actually gets much colder during the night, so he’d be naturally drawn to another person’s heat. He was very clingy when Lilia used to sleep in his bed~ He still is sometimes…

[satsuha]

i've been very slowly replaying aa4 in korean because i emulated aa4 the first time i played it which means my switch cartridge doesn't have completed save data for 4... i thought about story mode-ing it all but i figured i might see something interesting if i play it in a different language

the korean aa localization isn't much of a localization because the names are the same as the japanese and the characters explicitly say they're japanese people IN japan but there are still a few differences that i find interesting that the korean version added:

in 4-2, when apollo meets trucy properly for the first time, he starts off by talking to her in polite/formal language because clearly he's here expecting a job interview or something, but drops it at one point when he decides he doesn't want to keep being formal with a kid LOL

Apollo: O-of course. This is the Wright & Co. Law Offices, right? (formal language) ???: ...That's what I thought. ???: Sometimes... we still get people coming here with the wrong idea. Apollo: ...Sorry, but I'm going to speak plainly. Who are you? (informal language)

what i find interesting here is that i went to cross check the japanese version and while it does seem like he Might be a little more informal than he was previously, he doesn't literally say anything about dropping the formal language with her.

Apollo: ...Er, who are YOU supposed to be?

here's the same exchange in english just as a reference:

something similar happens shortly after when they go see phoenix in the clinic, where phoenix drops the title in apollo's name - in 4-1, he refers to apollo exclusively as 오도로키 변호사 (lit. "attorney justice", the localized equivalent would be "mr. justice") but calls him just 오도로키 (his surname without an honorific, the localized equivalent would be "apollo") from this point onwards.

Phoenix: Hello. You're here earlier than I thought. Ah, I'll speak to you plainly from now on, Apollo. Apollo: Mr. Wright...

again, there's no mention of him explicitly dropping the honorific in japanese, particularly because phoenix calls him オドロキくん (his surname "odoroki-kun", localized equivalent would be "apollo") even during 4-1.

the "-kun" honorific equivalent does actually exist in korea but it's far less widely used hence the removal of the honorific entirely in korean... but i do find it interesting that the korean version had phoenix talk to apollo in a much more professional way in 4-1 and explicitly changing it in 4-2 once they're out of the courtroom.

Phoenix: Good morning. You're here faster than I expected. ...Apollo.

again, english version for reference:

none of this really means anything i just simultaneously find it a bit funny that despite not localizing any other part of it, the korean localization team still felt like they had to adhere closer to korean formalities instead of sticking to how the characters talk in japanese, but also i'm always interested in breaking down how characters talk to each other... since i do look at korean/japanese fanwork a lot it's interesting to see how these kinds of nuances affected different interpretations between languages too.

anyway i'm only halfway through 4-2 and also prioritizing playing other games so who knows how long this will take me but maybe i'll make a post every now and then if i see anything that interests me

[truthinquotations]

While i absolutely love malevolent and everything about it from its insane concept to the fact that everything is done by one fucking guy i cant help but laugh at the fact that theres no difference between supernatural and malevolent in terms of queerbating 😭😭 i think I’m cursed to like homoerotic media made by straight men who wont ever commit to the bit they created

I’m not saying that i want them to be together like explicitly or whatever its just that i know that theres no reason to add certain things in the plot other than to create this kind of ambiguous state. And i know its not just me cos my bestie who got me into malevolent and recently watched all supernatural says the same thing😭😭 So now we’re just making jokes about how stereotypically “bury ur gays” or “make them go their separate ways” the ending will be lmao in true fashion of the best queerbait media

Top 3 are: 1) they get separated and go their separate ways cos John wants to “find himself” 2) they get separated and john goes to find lily (and don’t get me started on lily that whole thing is fucking HILARIOUS to me) 3) one of them dies and the other is forever in mourning

Again i love malevolent but the last seasons really r trying it in this department 😭😭😭

Edit. Lmao i know its a controversial take so not surprised at the comments. First of all i cant be “wrong” about a feeling I have its just how i FEEL about the show in the later seasons. You can say you disagree but to say that im wrong about my feelings just doesnt work lol im not here to defend a thesis. Secondly i know for a fact it’s not just me and my bestie feeling this way since yk this post also has ppl who agree with me🤷. If you get what I’m talking about you immediately understood my point, if you don’t, u don’t, its ok, I’m not advocating to change the podcast lmao

Pls stop with the whole “a lot of people see it as a aromantic relationship they dont have to be a couple friends tell ily to each other often” respectfully IN MY OPINION they have passed that line of friendship a long time ago. You can interpret it however you want same as I can interpret it however I want. But as a person who has a couple fandoms where i love the friendships and platonic relationships of characters i have never genuinely paid attention to to the amount of ily characters say bcos yk it would be a regular amount😭😭 Same as it never struck me weird if some characters been jealous in a friendship bcos it was clear that it was a friendship pure and simple. Which js why iI dont feel like jarthur is written as friends even if they never get together (which i dont even want lol i dont see how it would fit into plot atp). Honestly just how many times yall tell your friends that you love them or be ready to kill their other friends 💀💀

Some moments in malevolent feels eerily similar to supernatural and tw and if you get it you get. Two that come to mind is how in spn they had dean have sex with a female angel when everyone obvs been shipping him with cas. And how teen wolf brought dereks little sister that was practically his copy in every way on screen and alluded to stiles having a crush on her 😭. I get similar vibes when john brings lily out of fucking nowhere as his “light” (Or purpose or tether to humanity smth like that i forget the exact wording). I died laughing when hearing that like im sorry i get what he’s saying you don’t have to explain it to me but he brings her up so abruptly and i was just sitting there mentally asking myself “what do you know about her??? Who IS lily???” Like we’re suddenly meant to think lily is a bigger influence during those 2 months on johns humanity then arthur is😭😭 i mean come on even arthur was like ???

i wouldn’t be as surprised if they showed us some interaction like lily reading to arthur or smth like us hearing her voice or idk her last fucking name at least😭😭 something that would make it clear why he’s bringing up that character from fuck knows when other then its the only female character that can be considerably linked to john as his “light” in this scenario.

You can view their relationship however you want if you dont see it perfect then its not meant for you. I however genuinely cant view this as just friendship, the whole being jealous to the point of wanting to kill someone who seems as devoted to your partner as you are, refusing to be parted even when opportunity WAS presented and so on. If you can thats great, media is not meant to be interpreted in one way I can say its not friendly and you can say its your fav aromantic duo 🤷

I dont even think Harlan is doing it on purpose we just have very different definitions of what platonic means lmao. However the increase of these moments in the last seasons felt kind of purposeful to me lol which was what brought this on. And pls dont tell me its cos they got closer in the latter seasons arthur killed himself in s1 they’ve been close😭😭😭

I just don’t think that a person who hasn’t heard that harlan wont make them a couple, hasn’t heard a bit of discourse, listened to the podcast and certain moments of “ily” or their separation anxiety yada yada yada and would never think they have romantic feelings for each other or that its not where its headed.

Also if I feel like i experienced this exact same thing with media before and it was called queerbait and universally acknowledged as such I’m not gonna reinvent in my head definition of friendship and platonic love to fit what was previously labelled as queerbait there, Im gonna call it queerbait. Especially since it feels like every other media that was labelled as such before. Im not advocating to change the podcast or cancel it or whatever im expressing an opinion i have on my blog that i know other ppl even if not a lot agree with.

I stand with my cancelled take 💀💀💀

[henrikvanderhussy]

How to play the original Secrets Can Kill in 2025 without game discs

oh my god I almost just wrote 2015 instead of 2025

I've successfully been playing the original SCK for the past couple hours (including "changing discs" and reopening save files), but it's possible I could run into problems later, so no promises that this is a perfect solution.

This method still requires installing the game files, so I think it'll only work on Windows, sorry Mac users. I'm using Windows 11. I was also able to install and open the game on a Windows 10 computer, but I didn't actually attempt to play it there.

All you need are copies of the game .iso files and a virtual hard disk drive program. The post got long, so details are under the Keep Reading. It's not actually complicated, but apparently I talk a lot lol

The .iso files:

.iso files are digital replicas of optical discs (CDs, DVDs, etc). You probably don't have the original Secrets Can Kill discs, so you will need to...acquire these files.

[NOTE: My personal ethics say to not pirate shit from small studios or independent creators. HeR is a small studio and if people don't buy stuff from them, they can't afford to make new games. However, the original SCK is abandonware and literally can't be purchased, so imo, it's perfectly acceptable to pirate it.

I want to strongly discourage anyone from pirating any of the other games which can be purchased. They have 50% off sales all the time (including through today, 1/5/25) and a bunch of the games are as low as $5 when on-sale. The digital downloads don't come with any kind of restrictive licenses, so if you get a new computer, you can transfer the files and keep your games forever. Pls keep supporting HeR so that we can maybe keep getting new games]

I recommend getting the SCK .iso files from archive.org. That link will take you to a software search for Nancy Drew Secrets Can Kill. As of this post, there's only 1 result that's actually for the original SCK.

Anytime you're downloading software from a site where anyone can upload stuff, there's always a possibility of viruses. Check and see if the uploader seems sketchy (Are there comments on any of their uploads warning about viruses? Is the account brand new?). You could run the files through a virus checking program, but apparently .iso files frequently throw false positives. The SCK uploader seemed legit, but I initially downloaded and installed these on an old computer that I don't use, just in case.

There will be a bunch of files available to download. You specifically need to download the "ISO IMAGE" files. There should be two of them- disc 1 and disc 2. After downloading, I recommend moving the files out of your downloads folder because you'll need to access them frequently.

The virtual hard disk drive program:

Like I said above, .iso files are digital copies of physical discs. Similarly, the way to use the files is via a digital version of a physical disk drive. "Mounting" the .iso files to a virtual disk drive is analogous to inserting a disk into a physical drive.

Windows 8 and above has a built-in ability to mount .iso files, but when I tried that, I got a notice that the file was corrupted. The internet recommended that a dedicated program might have more functionality. I chose the Elby Virtual CloneDrive program, which is free.

Installing the game:

After downloading and installing the virtual disk drive software, navigate to your .iso files, and right click on the file for disc 1. Scroll to "Open with", and choose "Mount Files with Virtual CloneDrive". It will now show up as a CD drive in This PC in the file explorer:

Double-click to open the drive and scroll to "setup.exe". Open the file to run the game installer.

The game will install in a typical way. I think the only non-default option I chose was "No, I will install DirectX myself". I didn't actually install DirectX, but everything is working fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk, maybe now it's built-in to Windows or something.

Running the game:

To run the game, just open the game shortcut like a normal program. If you can't find the shortcut or didn't create one during the install, go to your C: drive -> Program Files (x86) -> Nancy Drew -> Secrets Can Kill -> Game.exe

In order for the game to run, you need to have Disc 1 still mounted to your virtual drive. Unless you specifically unmounted it, it should still be there, but if you get a pop-up that says to insert the disc, the problem is probably that the disc isn't mounted.

I was expecting that I would have to run the game in Compatibility Mode to handle that it was made for fucking Windows 98, but I didn't have to do anything. It just worked with no adjustments. A miracle!!

Changing discs:

The original Secrets Can Kill was too big to fit on a single disc at the time it was made! They split it across multiple discs by location. The school is on disc 2, while all other locations are on disc 1. So if you need to move from the diner to the school for example, you have to change discs.

When you need to change discs, you'll get this screen:

WITHOUT closing the game program, minimize the game. Easiest way is by either pressing the windows key or alt+tab. Navigate to your .iso files, right click on the new disc, and choose Mount.

Navigate back to the game and click OK. Easy as that!

Whenever you fully exit and re-open the game, you have to open it with disc 1 mounted. So if you saved while at the school, you'll open the game with disc 1, load your save, and immediately switch over to disc 2.

And I think that's everything! Phew! This got a lot longer than I planned on. Feel free to send me questions if you're having trouble, but I may not know the answer. I'm not an expert in this stuff, I just spent some time poking around at it last week is all.

Have fun! Go manatees!

[al-luviec]

compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)

meh HoT gifs (3/?)

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[littleredstory]

Beta Read my Story???

Little Red is red-y to be consumed as a draft, and I would appreciate it SOOO much if anybody out there would give it a read and tell me their thoughts! I know a couple people have already expressed interest, so please send me a message or email me @ spectascopes@gmail.com if you're willing to do it!!

*EDIT: SHORT SUMMARY: Russel and his older brother Stan are living on their own and working through a lot of issues from their shared past, but things are good. What isn't good is the stray, injured fairy that finds its way to their porch- fairies are a species of intelligent feline evolved to walk upright. They're a designer pet for rich people, and not a lot is known about them because of their small numbers. What's worse is that this one seems capable of understanding and speaking English just fine, so now the two brothers have to figure out what the hell is going on.

The story is 225 pages and 106,000 words long. It's a hefty beast! Because of that and the commitment it takes to beta read something so lengthy, anybody that does it and gives me their thoughts gets 1) a million of my homegrown organic kisses if they so choose and 2, more importantly) a drawing! A single character lined/shaded drawing, which you can see examples of here. One of the few ways I have to thank people for doing this for me!

I'd ideally like for 5 to 10 people to read and give me thoughts, but the more the merrier!

If you message/email to get in on this mundane once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (who else wrote a story called Little Red that they're asking to get beta-read in 2024?) I'll send you the story in whatever format works best, a downloadable file or link to a google doc, and when you're all done just tell me what you think! There's no "time limit" but within a couple of months would be great :]

I would like some detail in the thoughts, and please- be critical! Not mean, but critical! You could read it all and then do a little summary or do small thoughts chapter by chapter, whatever works. I'd say I would like at least hmmm 500 words of thought? More is better, but reading the story just to say "it was good" is not the most helpful feedback.

I'm looking for things like: did you like the characters? Which character was your favorite, and were any significantly weaker than the others? How was the pacing, did it feel too fast or too slow at any point? Did anything stand out to you as really well done or really NOT well done? These are just suggestions and not an exhaustive list of things I'd like to know, and if you have different things to comment on, chat away! It's just an example of some.

Once you do that, I'll reply with a handful of questions about potential changes to the story and if you, the reader, think they'd be positive or negative, and also ask what you'd like drawn.

Does this sound fair? Does this sound okay? I've never written a novel before! I'm going to ask people completely removed from the sphere to read it, too, because I want lots of diverse insight so I can make the story as good as it can be :]

(PS- if you beta read and are qualified to comment on things like how I, whitemen, have written the two black main characters, PLEASE share thoughts and feedback!! I want to write diverse characters, obviously, but I am fallible and human and research can only get me so far. Critique and thoughts on stuff like that, or handling mental illness, or a character with a lot of scars, or a mute character, don't hesitate to share!!)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

every time my dad does anything he has to do it in the most annoying and loudest way possible. and honestly i'm not sure if he means to or he's just really goddamn stupid but it's really really grating. and i'm suffering the werewolf curse rn so i'm ready to die

[thatonecrookedsmile]

It's been a little over a month since I read FTB and I wanted to do (and say, I think) a few things related to it. So here, take this. FTB stuff I was wanting to share.

Including some drawings/my designs for some characters (the ones above), some separate sketches, and giving some long thoughts on the book. (This post is looong so I'm going to put everything under the curtain. Enjoy!)

Starting: Rose, Evan and Archie. They are the ones that, I admit, are what I wanted to draw/design most while/after I read the book. Now, at least, if I want to make something involving one of these three one day, I have designs ready to go! Hooray! Evan is the only one of the three that I actually had to design from scratch. With Rose I had made a sketch 1 year ago conceptualizing the idea for her design, and it was only recently that I came back to this idea to finally solidify it. And I had already done Archie's design last year while I was doing my designs for the human cast of BATDR, so I was already prepared without even knowing it.

Also,Ink!Archie!! The poor guy got screwed pretty badly. First two designs in the first image are based on the events in the book. The one on the left is him seen mostly in the book (alive) and the one on the right is when he is in the Ink Realm, post-death. The design in the second image was supposed to be a stylization/variation of his Cycle design. I tried drawing him with a visible mouth/teeth similar to what I did with Sammy in a recent drawing and in some sketches that I didn't post here. I'm not sure about the beard tho. I think I exaggerated it. Next time, remember to draw less beard in this design. (And maybe, for the design that is more "close to canon", don't draw the ends of the hair and beard in the Cycle design)

Any other character in the book, either I don't have a design and I don't plan on making a design for them now, or I do but it will take a while to show them. (I promise I'll show Dot one day)

I also have some additional sketches. So if you want to take a look at that too, here it is:

Ollie Sorenson. This wasn't quite the way I had imagined him when I was reading the book but 1. the hair I tried to draw for him before didn't work out well, so I went another route and 2. Ollie isn't particularly a character in this book that I'm going to I think a lot in comparison to the others (he's still cool, tho) and I doubt I'll make another design for him, so let's go with this one. Not a bad design,so,eh.

Rose. Sketch on the left was made last year. I'm almost certain it was done after the book synopsis was revealed by Kress. The sketch on the right was made last month when I was reading the book. I took the idea from the sketch on the left and tried to solidify her design better.

Evan. Some other sketches made when I read the book. I had just completed his design and wanted to test it a little more to, you know, see if I can actually draw him. Verdict? I think I can.

And now uhhhhhh what I thought of the book! I previously considered doing a separate text post with these thoughts only but I don't do text-only posts in general and if I were to make a separate post it would take a while and it would come out more than 1 month/probably 2 months since I read the book and it would be kinda awkward. And I'm already writing this post, so why not put it all here now, right?

(Warning: My thoughts on the book ended up being MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TO WRITE. You don't need to read them if you want, they are just more additional and optional things. But if you are going to read them, be warned)

(Spoilers: I may have strayed a little off topic when I started talking about Archie. Don't mention how long his paragraph is, tho)

But yeah, Fade To Black. That was something else, I tell you (and I mean that in a positive way). Probably reading this book after all the fuss that happened about the books a while ago wasn't the best idea possible. But even with…all that in mind, I still wanted to read this for a long time, and I'm glad I went ahead with it. I had a lot of fun with the book! And thinking about it a little over a month after finishing it, I think I can say that this book is up there as, like, one of my favorites of the Bendy books that have been released to date. Before this, I would have considered DCTL my favorite of the books, so I'm somewhere between saying that both of these two are my favorite books in this series and that I like them equally, or that FTB has now become my favorite book of the series, surpassing DCTL. (Maybe I'll have a better idea of ​​this later this year when I reread these books once again)

I really liked the story told, its concept had already interested me since its synopsis was revealed last year - the setting in the 50's, the TV show, the whole 3D glasses thing - so it's no surprise that I was very interested in what this book had to tell. And since I already brought that up: I liked the new concepts it brings to the table,specifically,of course,the glasses and the TV. An idea that,I admit,at first is something I thought was a bit different (and dare i say unusual?) from what I usually see in the Bendy universe (although, it's not something so out of the ordinary from what we've seen before in the series) but I have to say that it's something that I thought was cool even so. 3D glasses that end up transporting your mind into the televised cartoons (and,by all accounts,the ink realm). The jokes I saw that Joey created virtual reality in this book weren't so far-fetched after all lol. But still, it's a concept that I admit to having been interested in, and that it might be cool to play around with in fanon stuff. I also considered this could open doors for other, more "wild" ideas to be explored in the books (as long as they still make sense for a >Bendy< book, of course). I also liked the whole segment taking place in the ink realm at the end of the book, and I hope that this can open up possibilities for future novel stories to take place there, either partially (as in this one) or in full (I accept an entire novel taking place in the cycle,ngl). The additional lore for the ink realm is a nice treat and adds more to what we have in the games. I admit that, at the same time, I feel a little thoughtful about a certain part of this additional lore that - assuming the way I understand it is right - leaves me wondering if this "extended origin" of the cycle coupled with what we already know of its lore would make sense in the games, and how these ideias would be acknowledged in future entries. But at the same time, I may be overthinking this, and the stars may still be aligned, and I've gotten the information wrong. Despite everything, I liked what was told about the ink realm in this book, I appreciate this "extended origin" at the end of the day.

I really liked the cast, both the new ones and the old faces. Rose is great, I really liked her as the protagonist. She's already one of my favorite book characters, I hope we hear from her again in the future. Also, it's good to have a protagonist in these books who survives in the end. Okay, sure, she didn't come out of it 100% unharmed, considering what the ending implies, but still. Again. It's good to have a protagonist in these books who came out of this alive at the end. Evan is also very good. Even though I want to slap him on the back of the head, I also hope to hear from him again, especially considering the way he "exited the story" (is that how you say it?). I talked about the possibility of a future novel taking place in the ink realm, I think that would give a good chance of bringing him back, now as an ink creature. I don't have much to say about Ollie, but I also thought he was cool. The scenes between him and Rose are very nice and the scenes related to the "Bendy Visions" caused by the glasses is another concept that I found very interesting (Tense moments, but cool ones nonetheless) Very happy to see Dot again. I like her character, and I always wanted to see what happened to her after the events of DCTL (TLO had already implied that she was still alive, but I wanted to know more, you know). Her participation in this book is very good, and a chapter that I have to highlight is the one where she meets Rose and they talk in the cafe. Their conversation alone is very good, but the specific part that got me was Dot talking about Buddy, what happened to her after the first book, and Buddy's family. That part was like. A slap in the heart, I'm not going to lie. This chapter made me sad, 10/10. Favorite chapter of the book.

Archie Carter was a big surprise (not really, I already knew he would be here before reading the book), and he is another of my favorite aspects of the book. It's good to see one of the characters from BATDR's human cast ending up being used more in a story. Archie in the game, like other characters we saw in the audio logs in DR, is a "One and done" situation where we only hear from him once and that's it, combined with the fact that he is ultimately just another background character who exists mostly to fill the world and give information that is not necessarily integral to the main things that occur in the game and is more to tell about different things, people and events that were also occurring inside the studio and in the outside world ( those of the lost city and Gent Workshop, essentially) pre-game events. (I really don't know how to explain this properly, but I would say that the "thing" of the information given by the new human cast (with the exception of the Archs) is the same thing as the characters who are giving such information: filling the world. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying) And while I wouldn't say the information on these tapes is really irrelevant (in Archie's case, he provides some of the most interesting), and in my case, I don't mind the addition of the newbies, I don't blame other people for not being interested, don't get attached to or even dislike these new characters who don't do much in the grand scheme of things in DR and in comparison to the BATIM cast (or at least, the majority of the IM cast). So seeing at least 1 of these newcomers being used more deeply in a story and having their characters expanded is good! And I liked what was done with Archie here. You know the guy who worked at Gent as a test subject and who saw bad things happening at the company? Guess what! Same company screwed up his life and now he's a half-human-half-ink creature guy infected with evil ink and his current situation is not good at all! He's going through horrors unfortunately (especially in the cycle), but I really like what Adrienne did with Archie in this book. Again, he is one of the highlights of this book, and I hope that something similar ends up happening with other DR characters in future stories (manifesting the novel that uses Bill Danton and/or Grace Conway in some capacity 🙌) Plus, I also think it's cool that of all the DR characters to be used, it was the one voiced by SuperHorrorBro who ended up being chosen for this book (I like SHB, what can I say)

Joey (like in the other books) is a standout (and considering what we specifically see of him in this book, he's especially a standout here). More of Allison, even though in the end it's just a small one-scene cameo. Finally, I'm being fed the bread crumbs I craved. And I think now I have another version of Henry to talk about. My collection is growing strong, now I have 3 versions of my favorite old man! Among the new ones, and especially the secondary and tertiary ones, Papa D and Gladys are nice, even though they don't have much time in the story. Oh, and Wilson showed up too. He doesn't do much either, he's just there to be creepy. But I will acknowledge him.

I also enjoyed seeing some of the ideias showcased first in BATDR here (which makes sense, this book came out well after the game finally released). I always found it interesting to see more of Gent in the spotlight, and reading and knowing a little more about the things they were doing after JDS closed is nice. (And I think it's good to see more reaffirmation of what BATDR had already implied. That Gent also had eyes on the Ink Machine even when the studio was still open, and when the studio collapsed, they still continued the ink experiments in their own facilities. Again, this was already something that had been shown in DR, but it's good to see more reaffirmation here) The appearance of the Siverlane Express was something that I really appreciated, even if it was something very short. I ealready talk about Archie in one giant paragraph, and again, Wilson is here too.

There isn't really anything I "disliked" about this book, but at most, I only have a few nitpicks. The Ink Demon appears in the story, but compared to DCTL and TLO, I feel FTB is definitely the book where he appears the least. I mean, yeah, the story isn't about him in the end, but it's still something I managed to notice. I also feel that, in my opinion, this is the least "scary" of the 3. Not that it doesn't have "scary" elements but still, compared to moments in the other books like Buddy in the infirmary, or the TLO trio in the old factory, I don't know if this book would be the most "scary" of the trilogy. However,FTB still has several suspenseful scenes (the Bendy visions, some scenes with Ollie, Archie's pre-introduction, Wilson in the library), which I also like anyway. And I'll admit. While this idea isn't that far out there - and in the context of the story, it makes sense - I kind of raised an eyebrow a little at the whole "using your mind/imagination to get out of the ink realm" thing. It is not bad! And again, with what we saw in the book, this idea actually fits with what we had seen so far in the story. But I can't lie that when we got to this moment I was like "oh, this is something that happened, I guess", you know? But even so, I didn't dislike the idea.

(I once saw someone describe this part of the book as "they canonized no-clipping in Bendy" and you know what? I think that's funny. I think we need to start referring to this idea in the book as that instead of "using the imagination" /hj)

But even so, even with these small "nitpicks", I still had a lot of fun with this book. I really enjoyed reading it, and not only is it now one of my favorite Bendy books so far, I dare say it's one of my favorite things about the franchise in general. Like, if I had to make a top 3 of my favorite things from the Bendy series so far, I'd say it's this book and the first two mainline games. I guess this is to show how much I enjoyed the book!

And with that, my journey with the Bendy books ends. At least, with the books I managed to have access so far. I have no plans to pursue the updated version of the Employee Handbook so far, but from what I've heard and seen so far, I'm not missing anything too important. And the DCTL graphic novel….exists. It's definitely a graphic novel that exists. Dare I say that it is definitely one of the graphic novels of all time, alright. But what have I read so far? It was what I would say, a good journey. I've been interested in the Bendy books for a long time, and it's been a while since I read them, and I'm glad I did, despite recent events. Of course, they have their flaws and problems too, I have things about them that I myself identify as bumps in the road (and that applies to the novel trilogy too btw) But even with them in mind and acknowledging them, I still think that they are worth something. And I hope people still continue to recognize them and give them a chance. Even with its flaws, and with their whole canocity thing that happened a while ago, I still believe that people should check out the books eventually. Give it a chance, you know? If they did, and liked what they read, great! But if they don't like it, that's okay too! In the end, at least they, on both sides, gave it a chance. And that's what I at least want to see. I don't like the idea of ​​discarding these things and pretending they don't exist just because the devs said they aren't canon to the games (because, in my view, just because the books aren't canon doesn't make them without value or that you can't have fun with them after all)

WOW, this is getting long, I think I got carried away. I think that's all I had to say. To conclude everything, here is my list of the Bendy books that I like the most and the ones I like least:

Fade To Black (I've already talked a lot about this book)

Dreams Come To Life (hand in hand with FTB being in first place. It has its flaws, some that may have already been mentioned before, but I still found myself liking it in the end. For a first novel, it worked out fine)

Crack-Up Comics (Really liked the comics. It's good to see more things related to the cartoon characters, and I like some of the characters introduced. Pretty fun stuff)

The Lost Ones (it's not a very "Bendy" focused book compared to the others, and I don't blame those who didn't like this one because of the lack of many Bendy elements, but I confess that I still liked it as much as the other 2, and I loved the protagonists of this one. Even so, of the trilogy, it is the weakest book)

The Illusion of Living (In itself, it's an interesting read. It's really cool to see more of Joey from a deeper angle, and see more of his past. But I confess that it's not my favorite read, and I still prefer the main novels. Not bad, tho)

JDS Employee Handbook (2019) (For the first Bendy book overall, it's not bad, and I like the lore tidbits it has. But compared to the rest, it's actually the weakest)

The TL;DR is: Fade To Black is fun and my favorite, I liked its story and characters. I liked the books. Check them out if you want. If you liked them, cool. If you didn't like them, that's cool too. Read in general.

And if you've read this far: Thank you! And at the same time, I'm sorry! Have a good day/afternoon/night everyone. Peace.

[milfbrainrot]

i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;

[clownattack]

I aced my thesis defence with merits and I WILL TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT (once i had my little rest) tm

[hassianlovebot]

i've seen some people talk about einar's romance dialogue and how it feels offputting and rude to him but i'm gonna be honest,,, i never really saw it that way?

like i do agree that the player's dialogue options Suck compared to the other romances. something about it just feels really childish and definitely not as,,, "serious" or even committed as the other romance dialogue options. that being said, it never felt patronizing toward him.

to me, it feels like the player is just. being human. while einar is being galdur. the player doesn't get mad at him for not understanding certain jokes or not showing affection in the same way. and einar doesn't get uncomfortable with the player being human, making human jokes, or showing human affection. they're just Being Human and sharing their humanness with einar. which einar, while not always understanding of it, is completely used to and Does understand and enjoy it later on in the 3-4 levels. not that he didn't enjoy it before, but once you get closer to him, he Does understand more of the jokes and even joins in on certain ones (like the catch one!).

idk man it just always felt like the player and einar are just sharing their perspectives, personalities, and culture with each other. and of course there is the chocolate thing where he says he doesn't need it and the player has to learn what he actually wants from the relationship (ie spending time together). and there are still jokes that he ends up taking seriously, which yknow, that's kind of what i meant when i said the player's options often feel very childish compared to other ones. but it just never came off as patronizing to me, especially since einar repeatedly says that he enjoys spending time with the player and engaging in their "togetherness".

like to me it always felt like he enjoys learning about new things, even if he doesn't want to participate. like at the maji market when he says that while he doesn't understand the hotpot game, watching it fills him with "oneness". he enjoys learning about human and majiri culture and seeing them just be themselves! none of his dialogue implies that he's uncomfortable with the way the player shows affection (there Is something to be said about the dialogue options only ever showing one form of it,,, but tbf they can't put in 50+ options to cover the minutia of human brains lol)

idk i want to be clear im not shitting on anyone else's opinion on this!!! there's room for all perspectives here. i just wanted to share! i've seen SO many people say that romancing einar feels patronizing and like. i've just never seen it that way ! and it always confuses me when i see it akjhgd tbf i think some people are also neurodivergent (same lol) and don't appreciate the dialogue options that einar doesn't understand because in real life it Does feel patronizing when someone does it on purpose even knowing you won't get it. but for me, einar being galdur and not a neurodivergent human/majiri is an important distinction. he shows multiple times that he enjoys learning about human cultures and perspectives, that he enjoys talking to the player even when they don't understand each other, and that he's capable of understanding the player's jokes and sarcasm once explained to him. he Likes that they're different !

einar seems to enjoy the player acting "human" with him because he gets to learn about them! and he wouldn't want them stifle their true personality just to please him! einar is alllll about being true to yourself, your beliefs, your oneness, etc. he wants the player to understand him and his affection, but he also wants to understand the player's personality and affection. he wants them to share each other's "quirks". and don't get me wrong, i do wish there was more we could do to share in his way of affection (especially if his way is our way,,, like i'm Not flirty or jokey like that irl at all and i'd love to have more options where it really is just "hi i enjoy parallel playing with you :)))" lol) and that the dialogue options were less jokey or at least more affectionate/serious but idk,,, i think for me, i've just always seen einar as someone who wants to know and appreciate everything about the player, even the things he doesn't Immediately understand. he wants the player to explain things and share their culture with him SO bad

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 7: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should go on a 5 day journey to find the Innkeeper's weird brother who studies animals, and show him the Suspicious Egg….

~

The next morning he wakes early, buzzing with renewed purpose, and also minor back pain from sleeping on old potato sacks.. After a meager breakfast of more free leftover scraps, the Innkeeper stops him before he leaves, giving him a few extra supplies for the long journey, as she can tell he doesn't have much. He packs up and sets out onto the road once again, crumpled sketchy map in hand...

He has a fairly uneventful journey for the first day - waving at the occasional other travelers as they pass, cleaning his boots in a nearby pond, stopping to eat some dumplings whilst watching the sunset, and finally setting up a small tent a short ways off the main path, resting with his cat by a dim campfire until they both fall asleep......

The second day, however, does not start as smoothly.. Only a few hours further down the road, he's met with a large barricade, guarded by a group of what seems like elven soldiers from one of the larger surrounding cities of the area. Practicing his confidence, he puts on his best "brave face" (which to others, appears more as some sort of pained wince, like he might have something in his eye), shakily striding right up to the authority figures he is definitely not afraid of.

"Halt, traveler! You cannot pass."

He sways slightly, struggling to keep his wobbly legs under control, "OH, y-yEAH, ssorry, I was-, hh, I was just walking, ~o-out for a stroooll~, haha, so I .. uh.. o-okay. That's.. okay. But, uh.. could, can.. euh.. C-can I ask why? like... why the, uh... blocking off.. of ... the um.. the-"

"Unfortunately, we are not at liberty to disclose any information on the nature of this current road closure. Our sole duty is to maintain security of the barrier."

"hhHeh, ye.. eAh, for sure, I-I get that.. Duty is.. really so... important in ... today's world.. gotta, um.. do the duties.. or, uh.. .. yeah, but.. so, uhhh... wh-Do you know.. maybe, uh... H-how long you'll, like... be here? guarding... and such...??"

"We'll be here as long as we need to be here."

"...O-okay.. but, like.. uh... any,,.... time estimate? hahahehhh?? like, uh.. a day, or... two, or um...??"

"This matter does not concern you, traveler. Move along."

"Aoh, yeahgh, I.. totally.. totally.. it, uh.. Well.. but it kind of does though,, right? B-because I do, in fact, actually have to go down that road at some p-point sssoo, um,... uh.. I-"

"I said move along."

The guard abruptly takes a step forward, causing The Adventurer to yelp as if he'd been hit, tripping over his own feet and scrambling off on hands and knees, lunging into bushes near the rocky roadside.. After exchanging a confused glance, the guards both shrug, resuming their stoic positions at the barrier.

The Adventurer watches from the uncomfortable safety of some berry brambles, surveying the area at a distance and desperately trying to work out how he can still get where he's trying to go. The map given to him by the Innkeeper is pretty straightforward, not showing alternate paths. Based on his primary map, he could maybe think of a few detours, but he's anxiously unfamiliar with the area... How should he proceed?

----

Additional Details - (I decided whenever he gets new items or goals or something, I'll list them at the end just to keep track)

items + to inventory (from the Innkeeper): 2 lunchboxes of vegetable dumplings, 2 canteens of water, a box of tea, one rope, 1 pouch of dried meat, 4 candles, a hand-drawn map

main goal: get to the abandoned castle ruins to see the rare animal specialist about the egg