#sorry this is kinda disjointed

[sebastianshaw]

What are your thoughts on the whole 'lost his memories and was a suicide bomber' arc? Thoughts on when they were trying to give him a redemption arc that then went absolutely no where?

OOOH! Ok, so, firstly, sorry this took a couple days, I really wanted to have the time and mental energy to sit down and give this the answer it deserved. Secondly, I just LOVE being mutuals with someone who KNOWS SHAW LORE LIKE I DO because I can get questions like this! Short answer is, I wouldn’t want it to last forever, I’d want our nasty man back EVENTUALLY, but I really wish it had lasted LONGER and had more of an impact. As it is, it might as well have just never have happened, and like. . .you don’t do THAT to a character and just have it be totally irrelevant to them. Except it is now. Longer answer: Honestly there were so many interesting things and things I liked going on here, it��s hard to organize my thoughts! First thing that I really enjoyed is THE BACKSTORY THAT HE WAS GIVEN and how it comes off as making fun of SO many common tropes in this universe (tropes that actually I happen to hate and be sick of myself lol) Secondly, Transonic explaining to him he’s a mutant by singing BORN THIS WAY?! Love it.

Getting into the meatier bits, Amnesiac Shaw notes that his first lesson in his new life was betrayal, which is correct. He was tricked by a terrorist group into being a repeat suicide bomber for them, since his powers ensured he’d survived.  “The first lesson I learned in this new life was betrayal. And here I am met with hostility and secrets. So I suppose the more immediate question is–do I trust her? “

And given Shaw’s history with being betrayed over and over, which I’ve written about before,  which you know about from reading The Legacy Quest and his mental issues with that, with being convinced EVERYONE will stab him in the back sooner or later and doing the same to them first, that’s…interesting, to me. It’s even more so interesting that he DOES choose to trust Hope, to protect Hope and her friends. Hell, he wants to protect them WHEN HE FIRST MEETS THEM even before they’ve done anything for him. You know, aside from the initial suidice bombing that shows “oh this guy is a mutant”, every time amnesia!Shaw uses his powers and/or acts offensively, it’s in defense of children.

The first time, he kills Jin Billion to rescue the Gen Hope kids. Then he goes up against the majority of Utopia, who are being mind-controlled by Kenji, to save Hope (including delivering a brutal elbowing to Emma Frost’s face when she was about to do a doubtlessly nasty “scrubbing” to Hope’s mind) Finally, when he breaks out of Avengers custody and fights them, it’s to rescue the X-kids, who are being held against their will at the Avengers Academy during the AvX conflict. The Avengers mistakenly assumed he wanted to kill the children, an idea he was horrified at when they told him.

So, pretty clearly, hurting kids is a big Berserk Button from amnesia Shaw. And then I look at NORMAL Shaw and how he treated his own child. And it’s like…clearly he HAS a capacity to be better than that. And I think that’s very on-theme for him, much like that moment in the Legacy Quest where he does consider if he’s on the right path. . .and then keeps right on being a villain. He CHOOSES every step of the way. He is a self-made man, for better AND worse, not simply in the sense of having made all his own money but in the kind of man he has decided to be, and I really truly just LOVE his very deliberate, aware agency in that.

Going back to him, oh my god, look at him, he’s so cute in his yellow X-hoodie!!

And speaking of cute, what I mega-loved about this time period is that you could get him being OOC for his normal self and have it BE OK! Like, I think you know as a Villain Enjoyer that there can be the urge to see your fave nasty guy be Soft in some way, but there’s also the desire to have him be IC, and these things usually can’t go together. This gives you a “have your cake and eat it too” scenario, or at least it did for me. I really loved seeing him with these kids. I especially liked when he told Teon that he did the right thing coming to get him for help, and even though one of the other kids said he was talking to Teon like he was a dog, I don’t see that??? Who says that to a dog??? But I do kinda like the idea of him throwing a frisbee for him, lol.

And he’s given a file on himself, and he says he’s not sure he wants to read it, and it doesn’t seem like he ever does? Or if he did, we didn’t see any reaction that I recall? I would have really liked for him to find out more about himself later—maybe unwillingly—and how he handles that. I would also have liked to see how he got his memories back, and if he remembers this period at all, and what he thinks about it, what effects it has. I’d love to see current era Hope acknowledge it AT ALL, I mean all these other callbacks are going on for other characters, like her and Exodus! And speaking of how he got his memory back, last time we saw him he was about to dive INTO THE OCEAN, and the entire pointed of leaving him in landlocked China was to HIDE HIM FROM N.AMOR…the guy who LIVES IN THE OCEAN…like no way that wasn’t deliberate??? He was ABSOLUTELY intended to run into N.amor, he had to be, and I want to know the plan there!

Also: Loved his fight with Hercules. Loved him beating him and calling him an idiot. Loved finding out he can absorb magical energy too, because I feel like that jives with his ancestor being a Sorceror Supreme (I will pay Marvel so much to ever revisit this; I hear it does get mentioned in Midnight Suns!) Loved him charging himself by HITTING HIMSELF IN THE HEAD WITH BOOKS FOR HOURS. Also love that in allllll his history as an actual villain, the ONLY time he ever clashes with the Avengrs is HERE when he’s trying to RESCUE CHILDREN even thought the Avengers Mansion was literally canonically a FEW BLOCKS FROM THE HELLFIRE CLUB

Honestly, literal only thing I dislike is the interactions with Emma and her touching on the abuse retcon, I feel like if this had gone on longer there would have been more focus on that and how she feels having him around because that just makes good writing sense but also I Would Hate It.

Overall though…definitely wish this had gone on longer and had more development for him, both as his amnesiac self and when he gets his memories back. I wouldn’t want an actual redemption arc for him, he’s way more valuable story-wise as a villain and I enjoy him that way, but I think as an exploration of his character from a unique angle, it would have been fascinating, and instead it kinda just…plopped. And then everyone else seemed to get amnesia about it having ever happened. Alas.

(also I think him meeting Sage this way would have been cool! Or Shinobi!)

[saturnniidae]

HTTYD 2 is ten years old today, it was my first exposure to the franchise and despite its many glaring flaws i can't help but love it and hold it so close to my heart.

This scene is a great example of why.

I love it so much. It's a heart-wrenchingly beautiful reminder that as good as he is, Hiccup is not some perfect hero. He is still just a person, a flawed human being who has cracked under the pressure of his circumstances and is barely given time to grieve his fathers' death.

(I adore scenes like this — It humanizes characters so much more, and just adds to that layer of perceived realism.)

And you can see the regret on his face as soon as he says it. But in that moment he doesn't do anything about it; he's still processing Stoick's death, and he only snaps out of it when he sees Toothless is under the Bewilderbeast's control again and Valka has to hold him back from attempting to go after him.

What he said and did to Toothless there was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by grief. And later, as he breaks Toothless out of the Alpha's control, you can see he feels terrible about it. About how, even if it was brief, he pushed away his best friend. And he loves Toothless so much.

The way he talks to him literally breaks me every time I rewatch it.

"It wasn't your fault, you'd never hurt him, you'd never hurt me."

"Please, you... are my best friend, bud. My best friend."

And when Toothless comes back he just looks so elated to see Hiccup.

Though, Something that's even crazier to me is the fact all this takes place over less than a week. Once he gets toothless back and Drago is defeated, he is immediately made chief. And with the state berk is in, he is given presumably no time to properly mourn Stoick, or to fully adjust to the presence of his mother.

(though I feel his and Valka's relationship will never be what it could've been. He knows she chose not to come back, and that is a blow to their newly formed and fragile bond that, as much as they love each other, is not something she can ever fully make up for.)

But at least through everything, since the beginning, the one real constant he's had has been Toothless.

They're friendship was built off a mutual feeling of out-of-placeness, then unconditional trust and unwavering loyalty.

they love each other so much it makes me wanna throw up

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 07: free space a happy ending

Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch. 

But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.” 

Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch. 

“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream. 

Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.” 

It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet. 

“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.

The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave. 

But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now. 

Remembering the words. 

What are you doing? 

Changing the world. 

So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does. 

Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is. 

His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse. 

It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin. 

Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside. 

"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."

He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up. 

Everything. You're everything. 

He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin. 

"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."

You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise. 

Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody. 

"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."

When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is. 

He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second. 

The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers. 

"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“ 

"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."

"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too." 

"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror. 

They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love. 

Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie. 

I love you. 

~*~

It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days. 

It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie. 

And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now. 

Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs. 

Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient. 

~*~

Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other. 

Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie. 

Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord. 

"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."

Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it." 

And so they do. 

Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means." 

Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."

There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them. 

You know, I always figured it would be you. 

No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.

It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be. 

"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too." 

"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked. 

"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys." 

And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his. 

"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!" 

"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time. 

When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile. 

~*~

It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you. 

It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.

It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression. 

"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.

"Yeah, baby?" 

Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.

"I love you." 

"Hmm. I love you more." 

No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?" 

He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers. 

And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask. 

It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future. 

And there are many, many more after this one.

🌷🤍🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13

god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay

[quadrantadvisor]

Yknow the shitty marvel movie type trope of diffusing all of your emotional scenes with humor? Homestuck does the same thing but with a RADICALLY different vibe. Like exactly the opposite.

Most modern media that does this is trying to distance the author from the text, by inviting the audience to laugh with the author. Oh, isn't this story silly, we're self aware, no need to immerse yourself. It's got this smug yet self depreciating tone, because it feels like the author wants you to like them more than their story.

Whereas when Homestuck does this it is self aggrandising, because it's meant as an explicit ATTACK on the audience. It is a purposeful attempt to draw the reader in and then pull out the rug from under them. It's not meant to break the tension, it's to give you mood whiplash. It shows a certain amount of confidence in the text, because the author truly believes in the text's ability to emotionally affect the audience so that this trick works.

I can definitely empathize with someone who finds this aggravating (that's sort of the point), but to me it's legitimately preferable to the self-aware jokey jokey thing because I don't think it diminishes the impact of the story itself. The narrative still exists as is, with all of its devastating events, and the jokes are a way of twisting that knife in a little bit further.

I would honestly go as far as to say that many of these style of jokes don't lighten the mood at all, but just add an extra element of poignancy or horror to a scene. Something ridiculous happening to the body of a recently deceased character isn't exactly light material, for one example. For another, more specific one, consider Dave's "acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle".

As a quick refresher, Dave says early on in the story that, rather than flying off the handle, he will do an "acrobatic fucking pirouette". This wording becomes a frequent callback joke from that point on. And then, much later, Dave finds the impaled corpse of the older brother who raised him, and decides on a symbolic gesture he'd like to make. He can't pull the sword out of his brother's chest, because he doesn't feel like he's worthy. He has to make a "clean break", by breaking off the end of the sword to take with him. But it doesn't work, and in the attempt he's flung backwards. And then he's just laying there, on the ground, while his friend points out that he has finally, literally performed his acrobatic pirouette off the handle.

And yeah, that's funny, but to me it's also absolutely devastating? This is a character who's recently been dealing with extreme self worth issues and a crisis of free will, who's clumsily trying to grieve for the very person who caused a lot of those issues in the first place. It makes the entire thing feel weirdly inevitable and that much more horrible for it, like, of course this would happen, his whole LIFE has been a joke to begin with. It doesn't detract from the moment. It invites you, the audience, to sit in that moment with the character and just kind of let it wash over you.

At least that's how I feel about it!

[mae-i-scribble]

tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)

i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)

As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.

We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.

I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

I would love to hear your trans alphinaud and lesbian alisaie headcanons or more about the subtext you see! Especially alisaie.

AHHH oh gosh i would love to answer!! Though I must admit that these are built from many (MANY) small moments across the whole game more than a few easily pointed at examples, which means its.. kind of difficult to pull up (and remember) all the evidence.

That being said, i do still have Many Thoughts about it :DDD

First off trans Alphinaud was set into my mind very early on by one simple fact: identical twins are almost always born the same sex. like almost invariably, with the very rare exceptions needing some wild extenuating circumstances. and you cannot tell me those two are fraternal.

now ofc this is fiction, and a fantasy world besides. who's to say the writers knew that particular fact? well good news! alphinaud presents a *lot* of other common trans experiances, which are scattered throughout the msq and optional side dialogue.

(shoutout to me for having the exact same thought four years apart before and after playing the game myself. i have absolutely no memory of the first post at all because i also have no memory of watching my partner play shadowbringers even though i definitely did. rare adhd memory loss win! i got to experiance my favourite thing for the first time twice!)

post 1: dated 2019, talking about how alphinaud is extremely trans coded, being an identical twin of a different gender to his twin, cannot swim, is body shy and *extremely* hesitant about using public showers, and having interests that are traditionally coded as feminine in fiction.

post 2: dated 2023, the same thing but this time talking about how wonderfully alphinaud and alisaie are made to complement each other in opposite ways.

he cant swim: related to the body-shyness and hesitance around the showers, its VERY common for trans people to experiance these things due to dysphoria and societal perceptions. i myself started experiancing this (even though i LOVE swimming) when pubescence started to hit. (it sucks!) alphinaud was probably one of those ones who realised VERY early what he was (logic boy who is too dang smart for his own good) so he just.. never learned to swim at all. kept his nose buried in books instead.

traditionally feminine interests/abilities: sure it could be trope subversion, but personally i think theyre also things he just enjoyed before transitioning and thus continued to do.

and one more that i can remember off the top of my head: alisaie's reaction to estinian mistaking her for alphinaud.

"but alphinaud has no problem with being mistaken for-" let me explain, i swear it makes sense.

see, alphinaud is a little logic boy at heart, we know this. he knows he and alisaie share their features, that is simply a fact. alisaie though? alisaie is ruled by feeling, and reacts accordinly. most notably the Incident when she first meets estinian.

what i find especially interesting about this is that prior to that moment with estinian, neither of them appear to have much issue with their similarities. it's only after shadowbringers that alisaie reacts with such contempt

(probably not helped by her not liking estinian much in general lol)

what this says to me is that some time before or during ShB, alphinaud told alisaie that the way people mistake him for her does bother him, but he can't blame them for the mistake considering the circumstances, so he just doesn't mention it.

alisaie however can and will blame them and thus the next time someone mixes them up (rip estinian) she EXPLODES. because it's not about her. if it was about her i honestly dont think she would care nearly as much. but it's about her brother, and how dare you hurt her brother's hidden feelings by not being able to tell them apart.

(completely seperate headcanon but i do think that estinian is faceblind as fuck, which means he never stood a chance on this one, poor guy)

okay now for lesbian alisaie <3

what WAS it that thancred said about battle scars and maidens? and whyfor are you thinking about this alisaie? :3

also: Tesleen.

also also: Emery (A Malm in her Shoes short story)

fr tho alisaie pays attention to and talks about girls a lot. in a way she never does about boys. bringing up my complementary opposites wrt the twins thought from before, it honestly could've been another way the writers COULD have done that, having alisaie attempting to impress boys with her athletic skills the same way alphinaud tried to impress girls with his artistic ones (something he is teased about repeatedly). like the absence of this potential parallel is almost suspicious tbh...

once again, any one of these things in isolation is probably simply a choice in writing, but all these things together spell out to me one thing: alisaie likes girls. exclusively.

(im sorry you wanted lesbian alisaie thoughts more and i have less of that than the trans alphinaud ones, but if you come back in 3-5 years when i've finished my second msq run i will have compiled a far more complete list of evidence for both complete with screenshots, probably lol)

[chicabear15]

I think it's funny the fandom has accepted Michael being an arsonist because there is no actual 100% proof he's set anything on fire.

Henry set up the fnaf 6 building to burn down and Michael doesn't seem to be aware of this.

In the paper at the end of fnaf 3 it says that while foul play hasn't been ruled out, the fire was most likely due to faulty wiring.

I will acknowledge that Michael's speech being coupled with the burned remains of fazbear frights and the final fnaf 3 minigame in hw1 does have implications of it being foul play but that's only circumstantial evidence.

[crowliphale]

I don’t know if you answer asks and you don’t have to. But what does Koshiro think of Zoro trying to become the world’s greatest swords men, as Zoro would probably need to kill Mihawk to get that title. And feel like he would want that for Zoro cuz “hell yeah that’s my kid” but if he’s with Mihawk….

i've actually given this a lot of thought! also dont worry i like answering asks dhfjksd, i just get busy sometimes

Koshiro definitely has mixed feelings about it, you're right. He wants Zoro to achieve his dreams, if not DOUBLY so because of Kuina, but he also wants Mihawk to... yknow... be alive.

In my own post-canon stuff I keep Mihawk alive and just beat him up a ton, which kinda solves this issue! Considering that probably isn't gonna happen in canon tho, i gotta live with the fact that Koshiro's just gonna lose yet another loved one. Which is more messed up when you consider the fact that MIHAWK could win the duel, meaning Koshiro loses someone no matter what.

It's a really complex set of desires and its so fun to explore!

[rhaenyra-first-of-her-name]

This is kind of a long rant against HotD and not structured at all so you might want to avoid it if you like TG or Alicent. Or even Daemon, sorry, I don't like him much either.

I was always skeptical of HotD even before it started but I had never expected that it would be so much worse than the source material which is, mind it, a very pro greens, biased, misogynistic spiral by some dead maester.

I don't enjoy F&B as a book and the Dance wasn't remotely my favorite part of it. Like the whole Dance of Dragons reads like a misogynistic spiral sometimes but HotD just took a biased source and dialled it to a 100.

You would think they would try to do the opposite bcoz the source is acknowledged to be biased but nope, they just had to make it worst. The Greens get to be whitewashed, they can literally not commit to any actions (Alicent committed treason by mistake, Aemond murdered a child by mistake, like wtf? Wtf are these fucking uwu passive characters and writing. Fucking commit to treason if you are gonna do it. Who half asses treason? Book Greens would gobble up Show Greens for breakfast. The Lannisters would have a laugh.) The Blacks are villainized and all the Velaryons are sidelined (which is worst with the show changing their race intentionally and then doing this).

Like the Greens have no redeeming qualities, just the narrative framing them as the good guys on their sides and I always hate how the narrative is trying to shove it down my throat. I can't stand it.

Like I don't even like Daemon but the show is stripping all the depth from him. I seriously don't like him but it's like the show can't stand anyone on the TB to have anything good or significant.

They literally showed Aegon to be a rapist onscreen and want me to root for him? Wtf are they smoking? The amount of cognitive dissonance you need to like TG is too high. Ik the show doesn't expect much from its viewers but it's like they expect the viewer to be stupid.

Show Alicent is so passive, they make me prefer the book Alicent and I hate the Evil Stepmother trope. The show acts as if Rhaenyra wasn't supposed to be the Good Mother and Good Stepmother counterpart to Alicent.

And F&B and George isn't subtle about who won the Dance. It's the Blacks. Rhaenyra might have died but her fraction won the war, her sons and descendants sat on the throne. Daenerys is her direct descendant and she brought the dragons back from death (especially given that the Dance was the main reason for their downfall and even the Targaryens' powers thanks to TG).

TG has the same fate as all the usurpers in the series- Maegor, Larys Strong, Robert Baratheon - the end of their line. Alicent 's line all dies before her eyes. The current Higtowers have nothing to do with Alicent and her line, they're not even worthy of remembrance and mention in the main series so far. Margaery is a half Hightower and despite the Tyrells' obvious efforts to make her queen and have one of their own on the throne, no one remotely mentions the only Hightower Queen ever. Imagine how embarrassing is that. You know if Alicent was a decent queen in any right, it would have been mentioned by now, the Tyrells aren't one to not use every advantage they have given that their Bannerman have more royal blood than them, which was again mentioned in the series.

Anyway, Alicent 's line dying and going to oblivion for all purposes is their ultimate defeat. I can't stand the TG stand trying to make it anything else.

And yes Rhaenicent is just queerbaiting and terribly at that. As a queer woman, I don't want them as any sort of a representation. An evil step mother aged down for a pairing where she plots treason and murder for Nyra and her sons? No, God, Daemon is a better option than that and I can't believe they made me say it.

Also, Laena was right there if they wanted to have a sapphic pairing.

When I said I wanted more morally gray female characters, I didn't mean totally irredeemable ones. There is a fine line in what characters, or crimes, you can redeem, starting a civil war out of personal greed and misogyny is not one of them. And yes, TG are all misogyny even if Alicent plays the uwu victim of patriarchy all the time. And funny how she never does anything to help any woman, not even her daughter Helena; does nothing against the man who actually harmed her and actively wants to put her rapist son on the throne instead of the rightful heir but her stans act as they or she is some kind of feminist when Alicent is no woman's friend.

And canonically, which are the books btw, not the badly written fanfictions (I am so sorry, this is an insult to fanfiction tbh) of the producers: GoT and HotD, Nyra had her mother's sigil on her flag, not Aegon the Rapist+Usurper.

(Can't believe the show tried to make some kind of gotcha moment with Alicent in that green dress. Idk why the characters even stood up. They only do that for the ruling monarch, not the consort and Alicent literally did nothing to deserve that kind of reaction. She just wore a green dress so what? Once again, the show is giving TG credit for doing nothing.)

On the last notes:

Cole is an incel.

I can't believe people ship Aemond and Luke. The former is his murderer and a war criminal while Luke was just a child. Leave my baby boi alone.

Otto is a cunt. Idk why Alicent stans don't crucify the man who arranged her marriage (and the bane of her existence) more.

Daemon is somehow better than all the men in TG which is an accomplishment especially since I dislike his character.

Once again, Aegon is a drunkard rapist.

Helena deserves better than her family.

I never liked Jaehaerys I and this is all kinda his fault. For the best king ever, he singlehandedly roped his daughters and all the Targaryen women of all their rights. Rhaena I should really have been the queen.

Viserys I, you tried but you should have done better. Aemma would have been so disappointed.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

You know what I love more than just heroes and villains going up against each other is when the hero and villain have a certain respect and acknowledgement to the other, have a special relationship or connection with the other, or just a general interest that's between just THOSE TWO GUYS and not anybody else Grandfather Spider Morganthe Schismist Soldier Duncan Grimwater

Like I could easily see the YW teaming up with almost any of those people (see: only GFS and Morganthe the other two are crazy) not out of maliciousness or because they switched sides but because they're just compatible with them in ways where it just makes sense. Like for example the YW fighting back-to-back with Morganthe or having in depth magical discussions with her because we understand her on a level no one else does. Like in a crazy season finale where the Savior of the Spiral would not even Dream of Ever Working With Those Ruffians but when they have to they're like so magical (no pun intended) together because they just click. Like in the original Teen Titans where Deathstroke and Robin were like fighting in Hell together and they were on the SAME WAVELENGTH despite being bitter enemies THAT'S THE SHIT I LIKE. I think maybe that's the reason why I resonate more with these guys than Malistaire because imo it's just so much more interesting and emotional when we get two people on opposite sides of the morale scale able to come together and work so fluently. This is also me saying I want a Schismist Soldier and YW Roommate Sitcom.

[kara-knuckles]

I find a lot of Ines portrayals in a more intimate context kinda frustrating, because if you don't ship Wines you are accused of being a homophobe/think W is a kid/just don't like W, while some HoeInes shippers don't think too hard about how this relationship works, and Ascalon/Ines is nonexistent outside of my head. And don't even get me started on the horny dudes and their delusions…

With the new chapter potentially adding another person to her harem, I decided to just write down the aspects I think are important in a relationship with Ines. TLDR: she is a pretty uncompromising girlfriend who needs a lot of space to herself, so most people would find her either too distant or too controlling.

The most obvious obstacle for a relationship would be her ability to perceive people's intent. Ines's profile emphasizes that trust is incredibly important to her, however, that goes both ways. In general, trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and that includes letting your partner keep their secrets. Not everyone would be comfortable dating someone with inbuilt lie detector, even if they don't have anything to hide. And, of course, if they are unsatisfied with her for some reason, they can't hide it either.

And it's not like Ines would intentionally spy on her partner; if anything, I think her display of trust would be keeping a bit of a distance between them. The thing is, she likely could use her Arts from birth (as is typical for a Leithanian) and she spent most of her life anticipating danger. She is someone who scans her surroundings the moment she wakes up (we see it in DM), not using her Arts at all may feel like sensory deprivation (Hoederer noticed she wasn't using Arts during their stay at Babel, which suggests there were some oddities in her behavior). She probably needs to do some scans for the peace of mind, so her partner needs to be open-minded enough to accept occasional violations of their privacy.

This is why I think setting boundaries is very important for Ines. Not only to establish her own, but also for her to know how close is too close for her partner's comfort. She doesn't want to know too much, so if her partner consents to let her use her Arts or openly warns her when she oversteps, she would appreciate it.

Another problem with her Arts (and Oripathy) is how it affects her health. I think, people underestimate how debilitating worsening vision can get. As someone who experienced temporary loss of central vision (aka reverse tunnel vision), I can attest that she would need someone who would not only be ready to take care of her, but also be someone she would trust to do it unconditionally. It is embarrassing when you struggle with or can't do at all even the most simple tasks, and with Ines's temperament I'm sure it would feel outright humiliating.

At the same time, for all the comments they are sure to receive, she wouldn't mind taking care of her partner. She knows they would do it for her, so it is only natural to do the same for them. However, she would only go as far as she expects the other person to go for her, since for her it is a form of payback. She would find people who expect others to care for them without offering the same in return annoying, so all the guys screaming "mommy!" at her every picture can go fuck themselves.

Then there are her complicated feelings towards her race. Whether you read it as a foreigner trying to become a native or as a trans allegory, I believe it is important for her to feel accepted. Ines calls herself a Sarkaz mercenary, yet she struggles with accepting herself as a Sarkaz (like when she tells Scout she isn't one), but at the same time it gets to her when people don't consider her one (W in DM, half the people she meets in chapter 12). As a result, this topic is kind of a minefield for anyone who would try to get closer to her, since they would need to be careful not only with the acknowledgement, but also with the compliments, and just generally have a good understanding of her perspective.

One other thing I see being mentioned by some shippers and dudebros is how they think her idea of having fun with a partner involves shittalking and just generally being a bitch. The thing is, Ines actually likes being left alone. Yes, she is normally very assertive, but her trust tap shows she enjoys quiet company and her sewing hobby suggests she prefers staying in-door doing her own stuff. And before anyone gets a wrong idea, I'm not saying she would suddenly turn demure in a more intimate situation, I simply think that she is actually a quieter person in private, and that she would prefer a partner who can respect that. Considering her abilities and line of work, she accumulates a lot of anxiety and stress, so it is important for her to find some quiet corner without anyone to annoy her to relax.

Finally, she would value stability. Her concern is about "now"; she tells Paprika that she believes in concrete things like eating when you are hungry, but as a mercenary even something as simple as having enough food isn't a given. It is important to have an anchor in the turbulent world of constant war, however, with how skilled Ines is, she would have rather high standards for people she can rely on.

[scopophobia-polaris]

i wanna send you a fun post cuz-- your comic with timie? love it. adore it. i like reading things that fuck me up a bit and the comic fucks me up a bit

oh can I tell you something that fucks me up? These pages right here, I think it turned a lot of people off because it looks shippy as hell but

My interpretation of the red string isn't wholly romantic

[lemongrass--tea]

Hello! I hope this message finds you well. I saw your post about what happened at the church and I wanted to reach out to express my solidarity. That must have been painful and horrifying!

Last year, I tried going back to church myself, looking for a salve for what was a rough patch in my personal life. How eerie that the parable that was shared at your sermon is the same one shared at mine! Granted, the pastor at my church was talking more about non-Christians and even other Christians who apparently aren't doing it correctly, but the effect was the same.

I walked out and never looked back. It was either that or throw the hymn book at the guy.

As someone who remains questioning, I hope you get to your safe place soon and can limit contact with those you are better off without. I hope you know that you are as worthy of life and happiness as the rest of us on this planet, regardless of what certain yahoos might say.

And I want to thank you for sharing your art with us! Your style is rich and warm, and fandom is a brighter place with you in it. 💚

i really appreciate the sentiment thanks anon💖 shoutout to all the homies dealing with this kinda thing cuz the biggest help with dealing with deconstruction and questioning while not being able to physically leave or distance from an unsafe environment yet is that knowledge that theres other people out here, we know. We see you, it takes time to get to where we want to be even if we dont particularly know what that is yet.

this reminded me of something ive been seeing recently with alot of queer ppl, i mostly see it coming from like twitter, and really in general people who have that support system present for them, where they demonize the south and less gay friendly countries, as if we dont deserve to be recognized just because of the behavior of the other people there, like that silly drama with people freaking out over chappel roan touring in the south, what do you mean thats not ok like come on now.

it can be so frustrating when it feels like no ones on your side but its kind words and representation from communities like this one that can help a person figure themselves out

[imbeingtauntedbyachild]

If people can hype up vivid mid squads 2nd hakolim of the year I think I’m allowed to adore more more slays airi5 hakolim ft shizuharu

[borealing]

im gonna go off on one in the tags pls enjoy

[doomednarrative]

i think so, so much about how purely, viscerally *terrified* Parad is during this arc. he is *learning what mortality is,* really and truly, for the first time in his life, and the void of it TERRIFIES him. and I will also forever be obsessed with the way they portray that fear, because it feels so Accurate to the way Panic just Grabs you

This bit. This bit riiiight here. Living rent free in my head because of just how AFRAID he is!! He's so visibly shaking this entire scene and it's so Very real, you can feel the anxiety and the fear rolling off of him. Masamune is so different to Kuroto when it comes to the Bugsters, his power is a much more legitimate threat to them. And while Kuroto went on and on about using them as tools and shit, at the end of the day thats easier to swallow because of how stupidly loud he was about it than the cold and direct way that Musamane just kills Lovelica to prove a point.

Parad has been advocating for the existance of the Bugsters to be able to live their lives as real beings this entire time, and while yeah obviously his methods arent ideal in that pursuit, it is still a lot to have to confront the ideal so suddenly that death is now a Very real possibility for him and to have it done in such a cruel fashion is so much!!!

He's finally starting to understand the same fight that Emu has been fighting this entire time to save his patients and it's a very fucked up reality to have to greet in such a short span of time, no wonder he's freaking out big time.