#sorry the ending is Like That but if i get any more inspiration I'll work on an ending.. or endings idk
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darqx · 3 days ago
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Another BP/HH/Gen answer dump as usual starting with BP and then moving into the other two \o/
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All demons age about the same rate as humans (although with earlier milestones as babies) UNTIL they hit their 30s-40s after which aging slows down drastically 🙂‍↕️
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Izm chasing you down to get .D back like
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🤔 You guys sometimes really make me think about things I don't often have to think about LOL. I'm just gonna do the gang this time so off the top of my head:
Izm and .D are often eating sushi in my drawings and since I'm pretty sure Izm is mainly the one buying, sushi is his fave. He'll eat any type but he prefers the raw fish ones.
Whilst .D also likes sushi, it's not his fave dish. His fave dish is pasta in a red sauce (like Sugo or Arrabiata) for some reason. Nostalgia maybe?
Zeke is a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so, a nice juicy sirloin with mushroom sauce and a side of roast potatoes and veggies. (BP!Zeke is similar but he really likes pork/bacon particularly, so a pork roast for him probably).
Wei Ren's comfort foods are chicken congee, and seafood steamboat/hot pot.
Marcus' fave is his mom's chicken casserole.
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Oh I'm glad (and thank you very much)! I hope you get lots of inspiration and can create a lot of things :D
Hm, that's a good question! I think, for doodling purposes, my fave is Rire mainly because Rire always looks more or less completed in black and white. My other two faves are .D and Izm - .D is a good exercise in subtle expressions whereas Izm is the complete opposite (esp with BP!Izm with that mouth).
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Yes. I mean, I'd prefer you be at least 15 for those two things only cos if i had to age rate them they could be considered M or MA15+.
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Hullo! The short answer is that there are also "not normal" skin tones, it depends on the demon species :)
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The rest of society is pretty standard so yes there are charlatans in the world of BP lol. HOWEVER, no one would pretend to be a BP for three distinct reasons:
You need to be sanctioned to be a BP (ie they have abilities that normal people do not, like being able to perform exorcisms.)
There is no profit to be had as BPs generally don't get paid (all their living expenses are generally covered by their religion's HQ).
It's dangerous work. You'd have better luck being a bank robber.
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Desmond is def a club music kind of guy XD EDMs, techno, trance, hardstyle, house, whatever - the kind of stuff you jump energetically up and down to at a club/concert/rave, he'll listen to it.
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Not yet for BP (soon...🙏🏻). HH wasn't really a comic series so much as a bunch of somewhat random one shots I did for fun lol.
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^ you guys :d
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I don't put my pronouns anywhere partly because it is lowkey amusing for me to see how people perceive me online. It doesn't really matter to me, so go with your best guess lol.
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You would be surprised at how much time those two hobbies can take up outside of work |D; I also like doing puzzle games (like Quordle etc), coding, going for walks/bike riding, making slightly odd food combos in normal recipes and freaking out my friends on Discord with them, and watching horror/disaster films and playthroughs of horror games.
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Maybe one day I would, but not at this particular time, sorry!
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Thanks for asking as this is a bit of a grey type area! Personally, I think that as long as this is purely for your own use and you aren't going to on-sell it in any way...then it should be ok. I'm going to categorise something like this as somewhat similar to say...people printing out my art to stick to their wall type thing. Of course, if you ended up buying a bunch and then thought oh i have so many extra I'll sell them to whoever wants them - that would be a no no.
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In what capacity lol if there's something I've learned from real life it's never agree or disagree to anything without knowing specifics. Eg if you would like to use my art as a PFP on tumblr then you can if you credit it, but if you want to use my art as a face claim for your own charac then i would have to say no, etc.
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That makes two of us as i am not familiar with the twisted wonderland universe :P
.D: Diasomnia
Izm: Pomefiore
Wei Ren: Ignihyde
Zeke: Savanaclaw
Marcus: Diasomnia
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I never really specified one so my friends and I have been calling it the fictional city of Hedone lol.
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I haven't given up on HH, i just dont draw it nearly as much since i'm focussing on developing BP :) Anyway HH wasn't seriously planned to be a comic or anything (though technically...it does have a very loose storyline that I've alluded to in some drawings |D ) so it's something I can just jump back into and doodle whenever i feel like.
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This was from a while back
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It's pretty straightforward HH is a slice of life 'verse where my main characs are in an all boy's boarding school and Rire is the headmaster. It focuses on the boys shenanigans though so if you specifically like Rire you will be disappointed as he's barely in it.
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I cut off this post cos I dont think the stuff in it should be shared with other random people even though anon is on anon. If this is you anon i hope you are doing well and i would genuinely encourage you to talk to someone about certain things (like a therapist maybe).
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javierpena-inatacvest · 2 months ago
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Merry Christmas, Baby
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Summary: You're not sure what to get Javi for Christmas, until he gives you an idea for a gift you can't put under the tree
Word Count: 3.3K (I wrote this in two hours, the thots do be thotin)
Paring: Husband!Javi x Wife!reader
Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex (whoops), breeding kink (I'll say it once and I'll say it again, you KNOW this man deserves 17 kids) vaginal fingering, creampie (big time), family planning, Javi gets so excited about the idea of another baby he literally can't control himself, terrible, sexual Christmas puns, cute and sweet Christmas fluff bc I love this family more than life and you know they give their kids the most magical Christmases 🥺
A/N: I'll take Javier Peña with a big fat breeding kink for a thousand, please!!! I was feeling in a writing rut, until I read @notjustjavierpena Husband Javi Christmas fic last night, and lord have MERCY, consider me inspired 🫡 I'll never shut up about the fact that this man wants a football team, and every Christmas will ask to put another baby in you as his only Christmas gift BYEEEEEEE I need to be institutionalized at this point sorry this is poorly beta'd, it's me, I'm allergic to editing!!!
Forever and Always Masterlist Never Too Late Masterlist
“Javier Peña, there has to be something you want for Christmas.” 
“As long as all my girls are happy, that’s all I want.” 
“Unfortunately, I can’t wrap your sappy sentiment, Javi.” 
There was nothing more that you enjoyed than showering Javi with gifts for the holidays. There were few people on earth you could imagine being more deserving than your husband- you’d find a way to wrap the moon and top it with a bow, if that’s what he wanted. Unfortunately for you, Javi was so sweet, it made buying gifts for him nearly impossible, considering there was rarely ever a tangible item on his wishlist. 
“I don’t need anything, baby.” Javi smiled, reaching for the roll of bright pink and sparkly wrapping paper in front of him to start covering the new Barbie Dream House Lucy had been begging for all year long. “Toss me the tape.” 
“Well obviously I have things for you, but I always wanna make sure I’m getting you things that you want.” You sighed, gently throwing the roll of Scotch tape you had been using over the pile of gifts between you and Javi you were working on wrapping while your daughters were asleep. 
After six Christmases under your belts, you and Javi had learned from the one grave mistake of waiting until Christmas Eve to wrap all your daughter’s presents, now taking a few nights before the big day to wrap and assemble any gifts being left under the tree for your own sanity. 
Now that your girls, Lucy, Elliot and Harper, were six, four and two, it made Christmas even more magical, knowing that they were beginning to understand the concept of what the holiday meant, and all the joyous anticipation that led up to the 25th of December. 
It also meant that there were a lot more presents to wrap- 1, because Lucy and Elliot knew that they could ask for gifts they wanted, and 2, because Javi would say he’d be done buying presents and then show up the next day after work with another toy for his girls. 
“Honey, you get great gifts, for me, but especially for the girls, too. Fuck, I forgot this needs batteries…” Javi mumbled to himself, carefully undoing the wrapping paper he had started working on, “You make a very good Santa.” 
“I think the girls like your version of Santa better, since that’s how they end up with double the gifts under the tree.” You giggled, playfully rolling your eyes at Javi before reaching for the next toy in the pile, “I’m being serious, Javi. I love spoiling those girls just as much as you, but you also deserve to be spoiled too, ya know.” 
“You’re my wife, gave me three beautiful daughters, and tolerate me on a daily basis. Baby, that’s plenty fucking spoiled, if you ask me.” Javi grinned, giving you a reassuring nod and little shrug of his shoulders. 
“You’re much more than tolerable, you goof.” You laughed, cheeks pink at the warmth of your husband’s words, never failing to make you melt a little more each day. “Will you please just tell me one thing you want? Then I’ll let it go, I promise.” 
Javi sat quietly for a moment, fiddling with the edges of the wrapping paper he was working on before a boyish smile began to creep into the corners of his cheeks. 
“Uh oh.” You laughed to yourself, immediately recognizing the goofy grin Javi was trying to contain, “What is it, Peña?” 
“You’re not gonna like it.” Javi snickered to himself, raising an eyebrow at you. 
“Jav, if it’s another dog, I told you, when the girls are older and-” 
“No, it’s not another dog.” He smirked, still softly laughing to himself as you tilted your head at him in confusion, trying to piece together what kind of gift Javi would want that would take any convincing from you, crossing your arms over your chest as you attempted to decipher the devious splayed across his face. 
It only took about two seconds and that look to figure out what Javi was in the market for.  
“Javi…” You sighed, your tone jokingly stern. 
“Osita?” He responded back, trying to downplay his giddiness now that you had figured out his gift suggestion. 
“Javi, four kids is a lot of kids. One more, and they’re doubling us in ranks.” 
You had always been on the fence about having a fourth baby. Not because you didn’t love having kids, or that you didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, mentally or financially, but because your brain worked in logistics- adding one more member to your family was getting you to the point where you’d have so many kids, you wouldn’t even all fit in Javi’s truck anymore, unless someone got demoted to the trunk, which, in all honesty, you were sure Elliot wouldn’t mind. 
For Javi, on the other hand, there was no need to worry about logistics- the two of you would figure it out sooner or later. The only logistics he was worried about was instigating the baby making process.  
“You asked what I wanted!” Javi replied, chuckling as he held his hands up in defense, “I think I’ve been a very good boy all year, if you ask me.” 
“What you’re asking for is definitely putting you on the naughty list.” You huffed, trying to distract yourself with finishing wrapping the present you were working on to hide the fact you were genuinely considering Javi’s present suggestion. “You really think we can handle four kids, Jav?” 
It took everything in you not to laugh at the way Javi instantly perked up when your first response to his gift idea wasn’t rejection, eyeing you up and down and gently biting down on his lower lip. 
“Mhmmm.” He nodded, slowly making his way around the pile of presents to scooch closer to you, “I’ll take care of everything, mi amor. You, the girls, the baby, I can ask for less hours at work so I can help around here, whatever you want, you know I’ll give it to you.” 
“You really want this baby, huh?” You giggled, smirking at Javi as he crawled next to you, hungry look in his eyes while he began to cage his body over yours, carefully laying you down on the floor beneath him. 
“Fuck, I wanna knock you up again so bad. You’re so fucking sexy when you’re pregnant.” Javi groaned, planking overtop you, his hot breath dancing across your skin in between his soft nips at your pulse point. “Let me fuck another baby into you, Osita. Please.” 
Any inhibitions you would have had in protest had completely flown out the window, arousal soaking the fabric of your underwear as Javi kissed up your neck and across your collarbone, softly palming at your breasts under one of his old sweatshirts you had thrown on. 
Truth be told, you and Javi had talked about baby number four enough that you were already leaning towards saying 'yes' anyways, but that wouldn’t stop you from having a little fun in seeing how badly Javi really wanted the Christmas gift he was asking you for. 
“Tell me how badly you want it, Javi. Tell me how much you wanna fuck another baby into me.” You devilishly whispered into his ear, smiling to yourself at the pathetic groan that rumbled from his chest in response. 
“Fuck me-” Javi moaned, hands feverishly groping your body, “Fuck, I want it so bad, quierda. Wanna fill you up ‘till it has no choice but to fucking take, fuck this pussy so full of me, let everyone know who it belongs to, watching you carry our baby. Please, Osita.” 
It was a good thing you were already prepared to be easily swayed, because even if you weren’t, listening to the way Javi was begging to put another baby in you would have easily been enough. 
“Okay. Merry Christmas, Papí.” 
Your green light was all Javi needed to spark something completely feral in him, practically ripping your clothes off you in the middle of the living room, sprawled out on the carpet. 
“Javi, we can go upstairs and-” 
“No. Fuck, I need to fuck you right now, just like this.” He grunted, shedding his clothes before his hand was cupping over your underwear, jaw going slack at how absolutely soaked the fabric was under the pads of his fingers. “Apparently you do too, huh, Momma? She’s so wet for me, isn’t she? Pretty pussy wants me to fill her up so bad.” 
Your stomach churned in arousal as Javi ripped your panties down your legs, revealing the puffy, glistening mess beneath. Javi had barely touched you, and you could already feel the way you’re dripping, admittedly just as turned on as him at the idea of letting him add another addition to your family. 
“Christ, baby.” Javi muttered, settling between your legs. Letting his hands run up the insides of your thighs, he took his thumbs and slid them between your folds, spreading you open to get a full view of the way your slick was coating your cunt. “Making a fucking mess for me already.” 
“I think I’m ovulating soon.” You sigh, doing some quick math in your head, trying to account for just how worked up you were, Javi’s eyes so going wide at the realization, you were worried they may just pop out of his skull. 
“Oh, fuck me.” Javi groaned, shaking his head in disbelief at his luck, “You’re right, Merry fuckin’ Christmas to me then.” 
Swirling the pads of his fingers against your clit, your back arched against the floor at the shockwaves the pleasure sent through your body, making you gasp so loud, you were worried you risked a real possibility of waking up your daughters. 
“F-Fuck, Javi-” You whimpered, already bucking your bottom half towards him as he sunk his two fingers into your cunt while the heel of his palm rubbed deliciously against your clit. Reaching up, your grasp wrapped around Javi’s bicep, muscles flexing with each pulse of his fingers as you left half-crescent moons in his skin. 
It took everything in you not to scream as a third finger joined the first two, stretching you out as he bumped against your g-spot, tension already beginning to build in your core. A sudden gasp escaped your chest, surprised by the newfound emptiness that had you clenching around nothing, looking up to see Javi reaching down to wrap his hand around his cock, stroking it a few times before lining it up with your entrance. 
“Fuck, I’m sorry, I need to fucking feel you, baby. Swear you’ve got me feeling like I’m about to bust like a fucking teenager.” Javi grunted, running his tip against your clit and down your cunt, collecting your arousal before thrusting himself inside you, filling you to the brim with every inch of him. 
Unless you were desperately pressed for time, Javi normally had a bare bones minimum of pulling at least one orgasm out of you before he fucked you, but seeing how worked up and needy he was to feel you wrapped around him, it was about as close to an orgasm you could get withtout actually having one. 
“Oh fuck, Javi!” you whined, feeling the tip of his head kiss your cervix as he began to thrust in and out of you, feeling dizzy from his fullness. You could tell he was trying to hold himself together, his hips slamming into you in deep, slow thrusts, breath hitching in the back of your throat every time he buries himself deeper inside you. 
“Fuck, you feel so good. So fucking tight. Fuck, I can’t wait to fill her up, give you every last fucking drop. Taking me so fucking well.” Javi moaned through gritted teeth, already scrunching his face in concentration through his pussy drunk babbling.  
Running his hands up the back of your thighs, Javi pushed your knees to your chest, pinning your legs in place against your stomach to stretch you out even further, letting him sink himself even deeper to hit the spot he knew drove you just as crazy as it drove him. 
Despite how lost in pleasure the two of you were, Javi was at least conscious enough to realize how loud you had gotten, quickly reaching up cup your mouth, catching your muffled moans in the palm of his hand. 
“I know, hermosa. Fuck, I love hearing you, but we gotta keep quiet enough, baby.” Javi huffed, snaking the hand covering your mouth between your bodies, circling at your clit, almost as if he was putting you through some sort of cruel test to see how far he could push you before he had you screaming at the top of your lungs. 
“Fuck- fuck, I know. You feel so good, Javi.” You whined, hand pressed against his bare chest, his warmth and weight pinning your body below him. 
You feel the way Javi’s thrusts become quicker and harsher, filling himself as deep as he could as your cunt began to clench around his length, sucking him in with your warmth and wetness. Your eyes had been scrunched, so lost in your own pleasure that you hadn’t even noticed the nearly pained look on Javi’s face, furrowing his brow in deep concentration with each slap of his hips against yours. 
“You okay, Javi?” You asked, panting out each word as he pounded into you, circling your clit faster and faster as his grip tightened around your thighs, trying to keep himself grounded. 
“Yeah, I- Fuck- fuck me, I’m trying so hard not to finish before you do. Pussy feels so fucking good. Wanna cum so fucking deep inside you.” Javi moaned, the rhythm of his hips already starting to falter thinking about his endgame. 
If you weren’t so lost in your own ecstasy, you probably would have giggled at Javi’s admission, giving him shit about how he couldn’t hold it together for even just a few minutes, knowing he could finally try to get you pregnant again. But right now, you’re just shocked you can even get any words to form coherent thoughts to string together, let alone tease him. 
“Put a baby in me, Javi. Fuck, want you to cum so deep inside me, please, baby.” 
You could barely finish the whimpers of your sentence before Javi’s pace became sloppy and erratic, hips stuttering before his jaw went slack, letting a low, long groan escape from his chest. 
“Oh, f-fuck-” Javi stammered, flushing his hips against yours as you felt his warm spend coat your walls, pressed so deep inside you, you were convinced it’d have no choice but to stick, in a few weeks finding out baby number four would be on the way. 
Javi’s chest rose and fell, looking down at the way your bodies melted together beneath him, igniting something primal in him to see the mix of your arousal seeping around where the two of you met. His eyes darkened, looking down at you with a feral sort of smirk, not even giving you the chance to speak before his lips were crashing into yours again, hips slowly thrusting while his fingers rubbed at your sensitive bundle of nerves. 
“J-Javi, what are you-” You muttered, cut off by the messy dancing of tongues and teeth in your mouths. 
“I’m not done yet, Momma. Not until I fuck myself so deep in there we know it fucking takes. Wanna keep you stuffed so fucking full of me.” Javi grunted, rubbing your clit faster at the way he could feel the walls of your pussy starting to flutter around him, determined to make sure he wasn’t the only one who finished. “Cum for me, baby. I know you’re close. Can feel how tight she’s getting for me.” 
You knew just as well as he did that the tingle that had been building at the base of your spine had slowly begun to flow to every inch of your body, building up through your legs and into your core, clenching down harder and harder around Javi’s cock, knowing there was no doubt the mess between your legs was surley just as wet as it sounded as he slid in and out of you. 
“Oh fuck, Javi, oh fuck- fuck, fuckfuckfuck- ah!” 
It didn't take long before your orgasm crashed through you, lighting up every inch of you in radiating pleasure, your cunt clamping down so hard around Javi’s cock, it made him let out a strangled gasp as he choked out curses under his breath. 
“Jesus, fuck. Gonna squeeze every last fucking drop outta me, huh? My greedy fuckin’ girl.” Javi smirked, planting a soft kiss on your lips before he slumped on top of you, your chests rising and falling as one as you finished coming down from your high. 
The two of you laid there for a moment, catching your breaths and basking in bliss before Javi was pulling out of you with a hiss, one hand wrapped around his softening cock, the other scooping up the mix of your spend pooling between your legs before it dripped to the floor, carefully pushing it back inside you. 
“Fuck,” Javi laughed to himself quietly, sitting back on his haunches, admiring the slick, shiny mess your pussy had become, “Jesus, I can’t remember the last time I came that hard.” 
“Looks like Christmas came early this year… and so did you.” You giggled, making Javi roll his eyes, playfully shaking one of the legs still pressed to your chest. 
“Shut up.” He sighed, shaking his head at you before laying back down beside you, shifting so that his chest was pressed to your back, spooning you in his grasp. “Gotta make sure Santa’s not the only thing coming down the chimney this year.” 
“Jesus Christ, Javi.” You can’t help but snort, ashamed of how easily amused you are by his stupid puns. 
“What? You let me get my gift early, least I can do is stuff your stocking for you.” 
“Oh my god, you are the worst.” 
The two of you giggled, basking in your laughter as you laid together on the floor, only spurred on by the fact you realized how ridiculous it was that the two of you were completely naked in the middle of your living room, surrounded by a sea of wrapping paper and presents. 
“Speaking of stocking stuffers, we should finish wrapping the rest of these gifts we have out before we go to bed. At least some of these presents should be wrapped, because the one you just gave me was most definitely not.” You teased, craning your neck to pepper ticklish kisses across Javi’s jaw. 
“It’s the gift that keeps on giving. I’ll give it to you tomorrow too, if you let me.” Javi grinned, giving you a playful wink before pressing a kiss into your messy hair and patting your hip, reaching over you to grab the pile of clothes the two of you had left next to you. “Seriously though, thank you. You and our girls are the best gift I could ever have, but adding one more would make me so fucking happy. I love you, Osita.” 
“I love you too, Javi. You guys are the best gift I could ask for, too. Although, I will say, your gift also selfishly works in my favor, too. Some presents are just better unwrapped.”
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beekeeperspicnic · 5 months ago
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Advanced warning that this made me cry when I thought about it, and then I shared it with friends and it made them cry too, but I think it's ultimately a nice thought so I want to share it. Sorry if it gives you the sniffles.
I'm always cautious when it comes to parasocial relationships - with actors I don't actually want to know the ins and outs of their lives, they are strangers to me and that's how it should be.
But like a lot of Sherlock Holmes fans I've ended up becoming a Jeremy Brett fan to some extent, because first you love his performance, then you find out the sheer dedication he put into that role, and then you find out how he did so while coping with significant mental and physical health problems, and then you hear story after story which suggests he was a lovely man whose mind seemed to put barrier after barrier in the way of him getting to experience the full extent of the joy he put out into the world. And I think a lot of us identify with that.
There's a quote from "The Jeremy Brett - Linda Pritchard story" floating around on Tumblr where Pritchard describes how one thing which really bothered him at the end of his life was that he couldn't give any more performances for his fans. Apparently hearing that the Sherlock Holmes series was on video (something he hadn't considered because he didn't own a video player), and his fans could watch him over and over again, made him happy.
And of course, my first thought when I heard that is I think he'd be so happy to know we're still watching them and dissecting his every movement and expression.
But it also hit me because during Beekeeper's Picnic recording sessions, Jeremy Brett is mentioned so often. Ok we've got at least one actor who worked with him (and indeed reports unsurprisingly that he was "lovely"!) but also people my age who were kids or not born yet when that series aired - they're professional actors, for whom Jeremy Brett remains 'their' Holmes, their point of reference for the character.
I can't wait for all of you to get to hear our amazing Holmes actor James Quinn, but it wouldn't be feasible to get him in every recording, and so often our actors have to just read his lines and respond. Once, one of them said "I'll just imagine Jeremy Brett," and I love that so much. Somewhere baked into my little game, is an Imaginary Jeremy Brett, called forth by an actor needing a Holmes to bounce off.
Jeremy Brett's performance isn't locked in amber, a thing of the past. It's fresh for each new generation that sees it, and it inspires new performances and new art. He'd adore that, I'm sure.
And to get even more philosophical, I think that goes for all creative work - and anything else you do in life. No matter how big or small the action, you never know how big your ripples you leave behind are. It's worth remembering.
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jonnywaistcoat · 11 months ago
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Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.
To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.
On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.
But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.
At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.
As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.
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iwantdrpepper222 · 18 days ago
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rhapsodic
nam-gyu x reader
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summary: bad first experience doing drugs and nam-gyu has to help you through it
req: no one, i literally just started this account aha lol
note - firstly, i am so sorry if this fic seems to be long, i usually get carried away when i write and forget not everyone wants to read an 100k letter novel. second, this is a personal AU of mine where nam-gyu and reader are dating but they are not in the games.. i might write a different fic where they are in the games or something :p also.. guys.. ik i said this would be out on friday but things happen, i got all caught up in stuff,yknow... my apologies.
also this just a tad bit cringe. excuse me, i haven't wrote in some time.
tags: mention of drugs, alcohol, throwing up because of substance use, dead dove-ish??? a bit angst-sty but also fluff, im not sure how to do tags uhhhh
also, i did happen to be listening to cigarettes after sex while writing this so this is just a tad inspired by their song "cry". (also somewhat inspired by A$AP rocky?idk) enjoy!!
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you had never supported your boyfriends decision to do drugs. in fact, you constantly tried to discourage him from it and convince him to get sober. he would always respond with,
"okay, i'll try."
but you knew it was a lie. he wasn't trying for shit. it made you begin to speculate that nam-gyu had cared more for a high than his relationship with you.
you had never liked nam-gyu's job either. you thought that it made him indulge further into his harmful addictions and habits. of course, that came with being a club promoter, but there were other jobs out there that could get him just as much money as he made now.
everytime you commented on this he simply just snickered and said you "were in his business too often." "what a caring and loving boyfriend you are." you would reply, and it would always end in a harsh argument.
you were tired of the treatment you got from him.
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one night, nam-gyu had invited you to come to the club he worked at with him. he egged you on by saying things like,
"oh it'll be fun though" and also remarks stating "you wouldn't want to embarrass your boy, showing up with no girl you know."
you couldn't help but fall victim to his guilt tripping and agree. at least it gave you an excuse to doll up and wear a dress for once, right? you never got the chances to do those things like a normal girl your age would. (20-25) you were always working attempting to provide for not only yourself and also your boyfriend. it didn't make it any easier that you were in a TON of debt.
whatever, this night could give you a chance to debrief and thats all that matters. as long as one of nam-gyu's annoying, bastard friends don't come up and bother you, you should be fine. (hehe foreshadowing)
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it took you a few hours to get ready that night which very obviously stressed out nam-gyu. he has a thing for worrying he wouldn't get to places on time. the wait was worth it though when he had saw the beautiful black dress you decided you would wear. it highlighted the curves of your body perfectly. the dress was about mid-length and came strapless at the top. inevitably, you felt a bit insecure. you were so used to wearing hoodies, sweatpants, baggy t-shirts and the occasional shorts that it felt almost wrong to be wearing something as pretty as this.
"what? is something wrong?" you spoke up as you noticed nam-gyu staring at you. it made your heart flutter with the way his eyes softened up and the tinge of blush that you could now see on his cheeks. he looked how he looked on the day he first asked you out.
"no.. nothings wrong. you just look.. you look really good babe."
you blushed intensely at his comment. it made you glad that he actually liked what you wore. i mean, it wasn't like you needed his validation but it sure as hell felt great when you were able to get it.
you two then began to walk out of the door and on your way after exchanging compliments and giving each other a kiss on the cheek.
well, the drive to the club was... just a little bit awkward.. in your opinion at least. you kept noticing the desirable gazes nam-gyu gave you and how he slid his hand up and down your thigh. you being in the passenger seat was his favorite thing. this was because he had easy access to touch you.
this wasn't surprising at all. you knew very well that nam-gyu's love language was physical touch and you actually sort of loved that about him. the way he was so clingy and touchy made you feel special. before you met him you were depraved of that.
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entering the club made you nervous as all hell. you never liked being around large crowds of people and nam-gyu knew that.
he smiled as he hugged your waist behind you, like he was trying to let everyone at the club know, "hey this is my girlfriend!!"
this quickly changed though when he saw his friend thanos. thanos stuck out from most of the crowd with his purple hair and multi colored nails. he was an upcoming rapper and was getting fairly popular.
"whatts up my boy nam-su!!" he greeted. 'nam-su? thats not his name. you questioned in your head trying not to pay much attention.
"is this your girlfriend you brought with you?" thanos asked. nam-gyu nodded, putting his hand on your shoulder.
"yep, her name is Y/N."
"hello Y/N, you look very good tonight." thanks spoke approaching you. you only backed up closer to nam-gyu, which made him chuckle.
"well.. if you guys don't mind, come to the room i have set up for us. its a bit private, yknow?"
"alright. cmon Y/N." nam-gyu gestured, pulling on your hand as thanos led them to a room a bit closed off from the rest of the club. when you entered you saw two girls and a random boy. you knew none of these people which filled your body with anxiety.
"sit down guys," thanos said as he sat down on a chair next to the two ladies.
you and nam-gyu ended up on a couch together.
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time skip and it has now been a hour or so since you two arrived at the club. seeing all these new people around you made you nervous. the only support you had in this moment was nam-gyu and it didn't seem like he was paying much attention to you anyways. he just lousily hung his arm around your shoulder. another bead of sweat rolled down your face as you looked at the bag of pills that laid on the glass table in front of you. 'it's not for me.. you repeated in your head. something in your gut told you should leave before something you regret happens. you watched as nam-gyu continuously sipped on his glass of alcohol and slipped various pills in his mouth. you hated everything about this. suddenly, you then hear a low but smooth voice speak. it was that purple haired guy again.
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"so Y/N, what do you prefer? ecstasy or snow?" this startled you. was he asking what drug you preferred? ...none?!
you looked up to nam-gyu for an answer or at least a little bit of guidance but instead of helping you he just grinned. his eyes had a bit of red on the whites and you watched as he slipped another blue tablet in his mouth and this is how you knew he was out of it.
"none." you mumbled, refusing to look him in the eye.
"nam-gyu, is this true? your girl doesn't do anything?" girl? really?
"cmon thanos.. she does.. she just doesn't wanna admit it alright?" your boyfriends speech slurred. it was the mix of the alcohol and random drug he took earlier really kicking in. you mean, he always rode out his highs nicely, he never acted too stupid, but you guessed he took one too many this night.
"so she wouldn't mind taking a few lines or so?" 'thanos' questioned, tilting his head.
you started to loose your mind. why was nam-gyu straight up lying about you? you had never done a drug in your life.
"no.. no she wouldn't," he began. "cmon baby, the lines right there." nam-gyu said pointing at the table. in front of you there were 3 messy white lines of what you could only assume was cocaine. you stared at him helplessly, almost like you were screaming at him to leave this place.
"what are you waiting for Y/N? we didn't do anything to it." thanos added, breaking the silence between you and nam-gyu. you began to think about what he said earlier at the house, how he didn't want to embarrass himself with (or even without you. if you didn't snort up these lines, you would be proving to his friend that nam-gyu lied. would you really sacrifice your dignity for nam-gyu though?
he gave you that lovely dovey sweet look he had on his face when he was high and that immediately made you break eye-contact with him. it swooned you a bit too much.
you finally decided to reply to thanos, and also make your decision on what you were about to do. "i.. i know you didn't."
you then began to slowly get off the couch and from nam-gyu's grasp, sitting down on the floor with the lines in front of you. you had no idea how you could do this. you only ever watched nam-gyu do it, and it always made you so mad. so mad you couldn't even focus on the motions nam-gyu made when he snorted that stuff up.
taking one last deep breath you lowered your nose down to the table and tried all your best to snort it up. it stung and left you sneezing and coughing when you were done. when you looked over to ur side to see nam-gyu's face and reaction to what you had just done he was just smirking cynically. thanos and the two other girls sitting next to him on other hand were just laughing and giggling, this made you feel tiny. you had always hated it when people were laughing in your face.
you couldn't do anything about it so you just rolled your eyes.
"go on, do one more." the purple haired freak spoke up. you just looked down. you weren't sure if you were able to do another one or not.
'don't embarrass nam-gyu..' you repeated in your head. this was the only reason you were betraying yourself, because you didn't want nam-gyu to look like a fool in front of his "friends." so, you took another line.
when you finished you were ashamed of yourself. you couldn't believe you had just done a hard drug just for the sake of a boy.
"do you need a drink to wash that down?" nam-gyu finally spoke. happy to hear his voice you quickly agreed and got up to sit on the couch near him again. when he asked you if you wanted a drink you didn't know it would be alcohol though. this worried you. you didn't think you could stomach both alcohol and drugs... and you were right.
nam-gyu had handed you his half empty cup of svedka vodka waiting for you to take it from his hands. you shook, cursing yourself mentally.
you quickly gulped most of the vodka down, it felt hot down your throat and tasted like hand sanitizer. you weren't a big fan of this stuff.
when you finished drinking you found nam-gyu rubbing your back comfortingly. no matter how mad you were at him you always melted at his touch.
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the rest of the night was a blur. the mix of the vodka and also the drugs did not sit well with you. you sort of just watched as the girls, thanos, nam-gyu, and some other random guy conversed, trying to swallow the fact that you felt like you were about to blackout. you hadn't even realized that its been about 5 hours since you first got to the club.
you laid in nam-gyus arms watching as the world around you warped and twisted and felt all the sudden very hyper.
"f..fuck." you whimpered, quickly getting up and covering your mouth. "i need to .. go to the bathroom." you mumbled again, hearing someone snicker behind you as you began to speed walk over to the bathrooms. getting there was a bit of a struggle as you had to navigate through sweating dancing bodies and loud music which only made your ache worse.
when you made it to the stalls you quickly crouched down the nearest toilet and began to throw up your own guts.
you hadn't known that when you left the room that nam-gyu had quickly followed behind you.
when you heard him entering the woman's bathroom you thought it was a stranger so you instantly tried to shut yourself up. you were so out of it you forgot to even shut the stall door behind you. sweat poured down your forehead as you heard footsteps behind you, looking over only to see nam-gyu's sweet face.
"it's okay.." he nodded, grabbing your hair and holding it back for you. you took this as an initiative to get the rest of the stuff you had in your system out.
by the time you were done you were crying and sniffing regretting everything you had done that night. you quickly flushed everything you just threw up down and fell into nam-gyu's arms. you didn't have anything to really say to him so you just cried, your tears landing on his black shirt.
he didn't say anything either. he just stroked your hair like you were some kind of pet.
"i wanna go home." you muttered to him--your tone was serious.
"yeah, i think its time we go." he agreed as he helped you up, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.
on your way out of the club he simply just gave thanos the 'yknow' look and he nodded in response.
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the drive home was strange. you could feel yourself actively falling in and out of sleep and for once you were in the backseat instead of the front-seat.
when you made it to you and nam-gyu's apartment he grabbed you and took you inside the building bridal style. this sent butterflies through your drunken body because even out of your mind you still knew this wasn't how he usually treated you. you clung onto him anyways.
inside, he set you down on your guys bed. he laid down next to you turning himself over so he could see your face. he brushed some of your hair out of your face and stared at you with desire in his eyes.
ironically, there happened to be some water on the nightstand. he grabbed it and slowly brung it to your lips, helping you get some water intake.
you felt a little better knowing you now had a little bit of water in your system.
suddenly, he grabbed your body, pulling you into a sweethearts cradle and hugging you tightly. his body was warm like a heater. it felt great compared to the cold night outside.
you buried your head in his chest feeling his heartbeat against your cheek.
you never wanted to let go of this moment.
to the soft vibrational hums you then fell asleep being cradled in nam-gyus arms.
why couldn't every night be like this?
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tritoch · 6 months ago
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Have you got any thoughts to share about Sphene? I saw your post about how misrepresented FFXIV’s female characters are, and I’ve been hoping to see anything more than the typical “Evil AI colonizer etc.” or “Tragic woman who can never change ever” or “Wuk Lamat’s girlfriend”. Maybe our interpretations will differ but I’ll be happy if you can provide anything more complex than those.
Sure! Throwing all this under a read-more for anyone who hasn't finished 7.0 yet. I think I'll probably expand on this more later but wanted to get initial thoughts down. (Note after writing: I meant this to be brief but uhhhh brevity is not my strong suit sorry. This take just sort of ends abruptly because I realize I'm rambling.) Again, spoilers through the end of 7.0 MSQ.
I think Sphene is the sharpest work the game has done yet in casting the antagonist as the noble double of the protagonist (a well it returns to a lot with Emet, and Zenos, and Golbez, and...). But because the protagonist here is Wuk Lamat and not the Warrior of Light, that's also a much more defined and interesting role. To me, Wuk Lamat is, above all, the Righteous Queen, who rules thoughtfully, wisely, and justly, and whose claim to the throne is justified by her moral clarity. Sphene, in turn, is also a wise and good queen, one who undertakes all her actions with her people first in her hearts, a sense of compassion towards all, and a clear eye for the consequences and costs of her intended course of action. And it leads to utter disaster, for her, her people, and the people of Tural. That rocks!
The first half of 7.0 is about justifying the fact that Wuk Lamat's going to be Dawnservant. Wuk Lamat is compassionate, curious, wise, and open-minded. She wins over rebels and malcontents not by asserting her authority or by strength of force, but by taking her obligations to them (as her subjects) seriously. She knows many of her subjects personally and takes a great interest in their lives, and she respects even those who openly oppose her.
And everything Wuk Lamat does, Sphene does to 11. Wuk Lamat respects her subject peoples and is curious about their cultures? Sphene forcibly annexes Yyasulani, but goes out of her way and expends Alexandria's limited resources to enable the remaining Xak Turali to live in their accustomed way if desired (…to the extent allowed by the new permanent lightning storms and the internal conflicts caused by regulator adoption). Wuk Lamat cares about her people not just in the abstract but as individuals? Sphene visits sick kids, knows them by name! Wuk Lamat understands the burden of rulership is too great and cedes half her power to her brother? Sphene recognizes her own weaknesses and makes a deal with the devil to keep Alexandria's culture alive! Wuk Lamat is willing to die for her people? Sphene will forcibly traumatize herself into being a better queen, if that's what rulership demands.
For an expansion that spends the first half being like "wow isn't this perfect candidate for the crown so likable and humble? wouldn't it be nice to be ruled by a good king?," it sure is funny that the final boss is THE QUEEN ETERNAL and she hits you with attacks like LEGITIMATE FORCE and ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY and ROYAL DOMAIN. This, to me, is Sphene's role: she complicates and questions the themes we've developed in the first half. Most importantly to me, she makes us ask: what is devotion to a people or culture even worth?
There's a thing I kept thinking of constantly during Dawntrail, not because I think it directly influenced the game in any way but because the parallels were so stark and startling. It's Jonathan Hickman's New Avengers #18 (2014). Truthfully, I'm not a big comics guy; I only know this sequence because Ta-Nehisi Coates cited it as inspiration for his Black Panther run on Twitter once (I also didn't read TNC's run, I was following him for politics talk). Forgive me, comics people, if I get any details wrong. The parallels are almost comical, though. It goes like this:
A superhuman secret society formed of some of the smartest heroes (and villains) in the land re-forms to oppose an existential threat caused by incursions from other dimensions that threaten to cause literal collisions between Earth and its alternate dimension counterparts. Seeing no other alternatives, they undertake work on a weapon to destroy these other worlds. T'challa—king of a fictional hyperadvanced nation called Wakanda, and also the superhuman Black Panther—meets with his ghostly predecessors, the previous Black Panthers/kings, for he fears the moral stain on his soul and the souls of the people of Wakanda, if they survive explicitly by killing their alternate counterparts, will be too heavy to bear. His ancestors are not impressed.
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To them, there is no question at all. A king's duty may be complex in the execution, but it is simple in its conception. Your people come before all others. Always. This is, must be, the fundamental ethic of a good king. To do otherwise would be a betrayal of the social order on which this imagined good monarchy is built. In a situation like this, the only option is to do what you must to protect them. "Will there be a cost? Yes. Might the universe burn? Let it. . . . You will kill them all if it means Wakanda stands. The golden city must never fall."
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"I will do what I must" is Sphene's guiding principle. It is so important to her that when she recognizes that her sentimental attachments are making her waver in her duty, she severs them entirely, sacrificing her whole identity to the throne. It is also implicitly Wuk Lamat's position: she has no choice but to fight Sphene because to do otherwise would be to fail to protect her people. In fact, it's briefly even sort of the Warrior of Light's position, as when you tell Sphene before her trial that you understand what you must do, which is shut her down to protect others.
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(One quick thought about the Warrior of Light: one cool thing about the antagonist this time being a double in a more exact way than Emet or Zenos is that it means other characters get a chance to relate to her differently than Wuk Lamat. The Warrior of Light, for example, is pressed into her service immediately upon your first meeting as the Queen's Champion, there to defend her if need be against all evil. This role is further affirmed by both robot Otis and Endless Otis, who essentially hand off their role as her knight to you, and reinforced when you flash back to the "might I call upon your aid" moment right before the end. Except, of course, you are loyal not just to her, but to the principles she represents, which her own acts betray, and so your ultimate act of aid is to essentially pass judgment on her and execute her. In a sense, you become the internal safeguard that a political system is supposed to have to protect against this very issue, and which Alexandria explicitly lost when it cast out/forgot Otis. Very Voeburt/ShB tank quests, it owns.)
But really, it's Sphene who embodies this sort of grim logic best. Aside from her transformation into the Queen Eternal, it's also why she suggests you simply become Alexandrians. It's the only way for her to reconcile her values and worldview, which have backed her into a corner where preserving Alexandria has come to mean a maximalist declaration of war on all life outside its borders because the kind of absolutely pain-free life she envisions for her citizens is completely unsustainable.
In this reading, one of Sphene's main beats is to unsettle what has preceded her in MSQ. In nearly all respects, she shares your values. She prizes life, is curious about other cultures, believes in the greatest good for the greatest possible number. But she is also a queen, and therefore irrevocably (in her eyes) tied to her state. Gulool Ja Ja and Wuk Lamat (and Koana) are the mythical wise rulers, thank god--but what if Wuk had inherited a Turali state that wasn't desperately in need of cross-cultural understanding, but one in a state of war? What value would her deep love for the people of Tural have held then? Sphene says, it would have held no value. If the survival of your people means harming the innocent, you harm the innocent. Kingship allows for no alternatives.
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But she also concedes, in the very next breath, that she is still kind of wrong. Because what happened here was not inevitable, despite her programming (a brief note: to me Sphene being programmed is exactly the same as Emet being maybe-tempered, it's a fantasy gloss on the idea of social and cultural education. "I was programmed for this" is really no different from "I was trained and educated for this"), because the truth is that this kind of thoughtful, principled devotion to the state and its people is also a form of sentimental attachment, in the end. One that is maintained not because it is natural, and necessary, but because the monarch, too, likes it, and gets something from it.
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In so many ways, in so many senses, the monarch is the state. Kings and queens may fancy themselves merely a reflection of their people's needs and desires, but of course even a cursory glance at history will tell you that far more often, states reflect their rulers. Sphene and Wuk Lamat both suggest that their conflict was inevitable, but was it? Or is the truth, as Sphene glancingly acknowledges here, that she turned her own fears and desires into the same policy goals that led to this tragedy? And if so...what does that say of our Good Queen, Wuk Lamat? Perhaps this could be different if they met earlier, says Wuk Lamat. But when? When did Wuk Lamat ever not love her people so dearly that she would not have sacrificed herself for them, or caused mass death for the sake of their survival? When did Sphene not believe the Endless to be people, or the preservation of Alexandria to be the most important thing? Maybe she means "had we met before you met Zoraal Ja," but of course, we the player actually saw their meeting. And we know that Sphene even then was not the hapless naif she'd like to pretend. She always knew exactly what she was doing.
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We know the price of this kind of thinking, this Hobbesian view that states are engaged in a struggle of all against all. Living Memory lets you walk through it. To preserve Tural, we exterminate the Endless. We befriend them, learn about their lives, promise to remember them, and then we destroy them and their homes, leaving nothing but a bleak blank landscape and the sound of wind. This is what Sphene would have done to Tural and Eorzea. Indeed, it's what she's already doing to the people of Yyasulani, because no amount of well-intentioned aid can make up for trapping people under the dome for 30 years and systematically eroding their culture through the resonators.
To me, this is what makes Sphene really work, that way she has of forcing Wuk Lamat and the player to commit the same kinds of sins she has. We'd like to think ourselves better than her, but of course, we've already reconciled with and integrated Mamook's brutal eugenicist regime back into Turali society well before we ever met Sphene. At the end of our long "wow isn't having a wise queen cool???" expansion, we are met with "Legitimate Force" and "Absolute Authority" and see them for what they truly are: nothing but tools of violence. No longer does the idea of the Warrior of Light hanging around Tural as Wuk Lamat's advisor have the same attraction, now that we have been reminded of the way the putatively unquestionable logic of kingship can ultimately lock even the wisest and kindest rulers into a path of war and exploitation and destruction.
I think Sphene is FFXIV's most interesting and nuanced depiction yet of a leader. She really, truly, wants nothing more than to save her people and protect them from pain. But even seemingly loving and compassionate goals like these can readily lead us down dark paths. She's a "hard men make hard choices"-type character, a noble but misguided opponent, but as a loving and elegant fairy queen instead of a grizzled knight or extremely sad man. She fucking rocks.
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viennakarma · 10 months ago
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My dearest friend and enemy (2)
PART 2 | Fernando Alonso x Reader
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Summary: You and Fernando always dreamed of the day you'd get into Formula 1. Unfortunately, the competition, the pride and the stubborness, get in the way of a beautiful friendship.
Word count: 7.1k
Tags: female!reader, driver reader, coming of age, ups and downs of a friendship, brocedes coded, very very angsty, cursing, anger, fights, overuse of flavio briatore as a plot device, lots of low blows, sprinkles of romance, kissing, making out, happy ending, not beta read
Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Note: Someone requested this, with this very detailed request, and it has consumed my every thought for the past week or two. I had to tweak some things from the request here and there, hope it's ok. It's heavily inspired by brocedes. (There is a lot of info that is wrong or inaccurate, I did this on purpose to fit my narrative, if you catch them, please ignore)
I was wondering doing a bonus part about Fernando POV throughout everything (to show he was ALSO miserable), but I don't know if i have the time and energy for it. Let me know if you guys would be interested in it and I'll do it in headcanons/topics.
I'm sorry if it feels rushed, this was taking way too long and I just wanted to follow my heart. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx
Find me on Twitter!
PART 1 | FERNANDO'S HEADCANONS
You were moping and crying in the living room when the phone started ringing. Looking at the little screen that showed the number that was calling, you knew it was Fernando. You had memorized his number at some point in your lifetime. Your parents weren’t home, so you hesitated. You took so long that his call went to voicemail.
“I know you’re there,” he said, voice sounding tired, low and inpatient, “please pick up the-”
You pulled the phone cable, unplugging the call and silencing him. Wiping your tears, you stared at the unplugged phone on the little side table for what felt like hours, until your parents returned from work, when you got up to plug the phone back and pretend like you didn’t spend the whole day mourning a friendship you always thought would last forever.
After two days ignoring all calls, even Flavio’s, you decided that you’d shield yourself from now on, and you wouldn’t give Fernando any more ammo to hurt you. You met with Flavio at the next race, face heavy with makeup to cover up the sleepless nights you had gone through. You put your bag down and stared at Flavio across the table.
“Good morning. Let’s go back to work,” you said, gently pulling the stack of papers from his grasp. He called your name in that tone, of someone wanting a heart to heart.
“We should talk about the f-” He started but you cut him off.
“No, I don’t want to talk about that,” you said.
“I talked to Fernando and he-”
“I said, I don’t want to talk about it. He’s dead to me.” You repeated slowly, finally looking up at him. Flavio must’ve seen something in your eyes because he let the topic go.
You didn’t see Fernando for two more days, and when the weekend officially started, you avoided him like the plague. Even when you two were in the same place with other drivers, you’d ignore his existence for the most part. Whenever you were in a little circle chatting with other drivers and he arrived, you’d leave immediately. Press conference, you convinced Jenson to switch places with you so you could be as far from Fernando as possible. Even with team debriefs, with Flavio trying to make you talk to Fernando, you refused.
The rest of the season was insane, during team meetings and debriefs you were cold and barely talked to him. He didn’t try to talk to you either, and the silent distance only grew.
You were head to head in a race, you were P2 and Fernando P3 right behind you.
“Switch with Fernando,” your engineer said on the radio.
“He won’t fucking pass me,” you said into the radio, holding your position and pace. He was less than a second behind, and you refused to let him pass.
“I repeat, let him pass,” That was Flavio.
“If he manages to overtake me, he can go.”
He didn’t. You knew you had more pace, but still he insisted, and through the mirrors, you could see him closing in behind you. He tried to overtake but you pushed the car fast, and when he couldn’t anymore, he turned into you, touching his front right tyre to your rear left tyre. You were too fast. The mere touch of his tyre bursted yours. You couldn’t even get angry as you lost control of the car in a millisecond, the speed making your car fly into the air as it hit the gravel. With your car overturning a few times in the air, you watched your sight going ground, sky, ground, sky, ground, sky.
Then you blacked out.
When you woke up, you were on a stretcher being placed carefully inside the ambulance, you tried to get up, dizzy and someone handed you a bag where you threw up inside.
You had an insane headache as they took you to the medical center. Apparently, everything else was alright as you checked your own body for any injuries or problems. The doctor checked you but still made you through a round of tests and injected saline solution diluted with pain medicine in an IV drip. They also decided you’d stay overnight to make sure nothing was wrong. 
Your dad, who was watching from the garage, was the first to find you in the medical center, visibly worried and crying. He hugged you for a whole minute, before taking a step back and touching your face to make sure you were really alright.
“I’m ok, Papá. Just passed out when the car was spinning in the air,” You smiled softly, wanting to dissipate his worry.
“When you didn’t answer the radio-” He choked back tears.
“It’s ok, I’m ok now.”
“What are you feeling, darling?” He pressed, holding your hands to look for injuries in your arms.
“I’m all in one piece, Papá. Just a little sore, but that’s normal whenever a racing driver crashes,” you let him know, and he nodded.
“Let me just call your mother. She was so worried she wanted to get into the first flight here,” He told you.
“Tell her I’m alright and I love her,” you whispered and he nodded, going outside.
You sighed as you were left alone, trying to find a comfortable position where you didn’t have to move too much, since your whole body felt like it had been run over by a truck. The door opened and you thought it was Flavio, but you were faced with Fernando, still sweaty and in his overalls. He looked disheveled, but he was full of worry, even his eyes looked a little misty as he stood there a few meters from you.
But you couldn’t look past the anger when the memory of him diving into your car came back. He had gambled with your life, out of pettiness, out of envy, he couldn’t pass you, so he decided the next best thing was to take you out, not even caring about the danger he was putting you through.
“Leave.” You said, with gritted teeth.
“Please,” he begged with his voice softer than you had heard for almost a year, “let me just-”
“Leave! You could’ve gotten me killed, Fernando. Get out!” You said, louder. “Do you have any idea that you could have ruined my life in a moment of anger?! That you could have gotten me seriously injured or worse?! I would have never done that to you!” You pressed your index finger to the nurse button repeatedly, and a few seconds later, a nurse came in, “Ma’am can you escort him out please?”
You could see in his eyes that he was hurt by your words, but in that moment, all you felt was blind rage, for what he did the last time you spoke and because he crashed into you on purpose. You didn’t want to hear any excuses now that he realized he put your life in danger just because his ego couldn’t take a hit.
The next day, after you were discharged, you traveled for a meeting with Flavio at Renault’s headquarters. He met you alone in the meeting room, talking to you about the accident, and after making sure you were physically fine, he went off.
“What you did yesterday was reckless and you went against express orders from the team and from me. This is not happening again, or you will be risking your seat at Renault,” He said, his voice never leaving room for debate, you swallowed and nodded, “When the team orders you to do something, you do. No questioning, and no going against it. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Fernando was really worried about you yes-”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” You cut Flavio off.
“You two are best friends, it’s really sad to see you lose all that because of Formula 1” Flavio said, gently.
“He put my life at risk, Flavio. This is not something a friend would do,” you stood up, walking away but you stopped by the door, “Kinda curious how motorsports, the very thing that brought us together, is the same that tore us apart.”
Then you went to meet the engineers for the next race strategies. 
That night as you laid down at home, you thought that you’d never compete with Fernando solely because he was Flavio’s favorite. If it ever came to Flavio to decide whether you would win or Fernando would win, he’d always pick Fernando. You could’ve been fighting for the championship this year, he had promised you, instead you were being used as a step in Fernando’s path of glory, when you could be fairly racing him for the championship. You’d always come second to him there. That was also the moment you stopped seeing Flavio as a friend, and confined him back to a position of Team Principal.
You reread the Sauber proposal that came to you that year to start racing for them the next season, tempted to just go and make your name somewhere else. Somewhere where you’d be put first.
But deep down, a sense of indebtedness had rooted into your heart ever since the day Fernando told you the truth. You had to pay Flavio back for his trust and for his money, and the only way you thought you could do it was by becoming world champion under his team.
There was still a little kid inside you, a little kid who aspired to prove Fernando wrong, to become a champion and prove to yourself you’re more than him. More than who he wanted you to be, more than a loser.
You turned down the offer from Sauber.
The rest of the season you went almost robotically. You still gave your all every race, but your mood would always damper when you had to follow team orders.
“Ask if me and Fernando can switch, I’m faster!” You said on the radio. You kept driving, Fernando a little less than two seconds in front of you, but you were getting closer and would catch up to him in two laps.
“Negative, protect his position.”
“There’s a McLaren right behind me! They’ll pass us both!”
“Negative, team orders.”
You swallowed and held your position, trying to maintain your P2 and Fernando P1. But when the McLaren got close to you, they managed to pass you after a brief battle, going for Fernando a couple of laps later.
Later, you stood on the podium, looking ahead knowing that P3 could’ve been a P1 if they had let you fight for it. You didn’t look at Fernando on the other side of the podium, you just stood there, eyes watery. You pretended to take part throwing champagne for a few seconds, forcing a smile knowing that it would look bad not to.
The post race interviews were torture, and you wanted to go home and vent to your parents.
“How has it been to manage your friendship with Fernando outside the track?” A reporter asked, and your smile disappeared from your face.
“We were never really friends,” you shrugged, annoyed, you added “Are there any questions about racing instead of my personal life?” The reporter was silent, visibly taken aback by your responses, you had rarely been hostile toward a journalist before, you knew he would have a field day with just those replies, especially when your PR manager gave you a hard stare, “No? Thank you, see you around.”
You finished P2 in the race Fernando became champion for the second time. When you got out of the car, you watched as Flavio and Fernando hugged, jumping from the ground and celebrating. The number one and your team principal. After the podium ceremony, you didn’t bother to stay to spray champagne, just leaving and going straight out.
You got a couple more proposals from other teams, and you were tempted, until Flavio told you Fernando was leaving for McLaren the next year and offered you an extension. You took it under the condition to become the number one driver now that Fernando was out of the picture.
A part of you mourned the death of the dream, the one you had at fourteen to become teammates with your best friend. So many things had happened in between everything, now you would miss it. Only the good, not the bad and ugly. You wish you could go back in time, redo everything, and never allow yourself to lose your best friend on the way.
The next year you ended up striking an unexpected friendship with Jenson Button, Nico Rosberg and eventually the two rookies Lewis and Sebastian, who had been very vocal about being fans of yours.
You didn’t go back to talking with Fernando. You didn’t try and he didn’t either. It felt like the bridges were too far burned to recover.
One day as you walked out of the garage, you saw Fernando with a girl on the opposite side. She was clinging to his side, whispering. You knew he had his fair share of fun with grid girls but he never invited them to watch the race from his garage. You wondered if he was dating again, after a couple of years being nothing more than a player. You also wonder why it made a pang of pain flare through your chest.
You don’t linger too much. He had no reason to tell you. You weren’t even friends anymore.
You moved on, as much as you could. And eventually, you met Kaka, or Ricardo, as you preferred calling him. He was a footballer, a big name in the sport, playing for a big team in Italy. You actually met him at a gala party, the both of you being silly introverts, bumping into each other when trying to find a way out. You two ended up talking for hours on the balcony, watching the city lights.
He reminded you of Nano before Formula 1.
And you actually wanted to smash your own head against the handrail as you thought that.
After exchanging numbers and calling a couple of times, you managed to convince Ricardo to come to a Grand Prix. His presence was calm, funny without being mean, and so gentle. It was actually the calm between the storm your life and job was.
You were pacing around outside the motorhomes to try and see if he had arrived yet, since the last you had talked to him was when he was on his way. While waiting, your eyes found Fernando’s on the opposite side in front of McLaren, he was sitting down with his girlfriend telling him something. You stared at him for a whole minute, and for a brief moment, the anger left his eyes for something softer, something like-
“Hi, minha linda!” Ricardo showed up out of nowhere, and he hugged you so tight he actually swiped you off your feet.
Once the surprise passed, you hugged him back, your fingers finding their way through his hair. And he laughed, spinning you before putting you down. You talked for a bit, your face lit up as he told you about his day.
Your eyes unconsciously turned to Fernando, because you could feel that he had been staring at you for as long as Ricardo was there. His face was back to anger.
“You want me to give you the grand tour?” You offered, just so you could escape the weight of Fernando’s glare.
You took Ricardo by the hand and showed him all around, even introducing him to part of your team. After that race when you placed third, Ricardo invited you to a date, the first official one. After a couple of months and a few kisses, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You only hesitated for a second before smiling and squealing a yes.
Being the main driver of your team allowed you to live an entirely different season as a racer. You didn’t want to be arrogant, but you had it in the bag. You had the best car, the best engines, and just the perfect amount of boldness. Add insane strategies, and you were unstoppable.
Despite Fernando being your close rival on track, he was way too busy beefing with Lewis, his surprisingly great rookie teammate.
During summer break that year, you were on a trip to Brazil with Ricardo, but still, the night of July 29th, you got up at two a.m., slowly went to the fridge, where you got an ice cream pint. With a spoon, you sat on the handrail in the balcony, and watched the waves breaking on the beach a few meters away.
It was weird keeping the ice cream tradition alone, but you supposed it was even weirder not keeping the tradition. Staring at the stars, you wondered if Fernando had any ice cream to celebrate his birthday that day.
“Hi,” you heard Ricardo behind you, his hands sneaking around your middle and he hugged you from behind, laying his head against your shoulder, “everything ok?”
“Yeah, just wanted a little treat,” you mumbled, closing the lid on the ice cream, because a selfish part of you didn’t want to share the tradition with anyone other than Fernando. It was silly and stupid, and still… you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You put the ice cream back in the freezer and smiled at Ricardo as he pulled you into his arms and carried you back to bed.
You came back from summer break with a renewed sense of focus. Deep down you knew that was your season. Your season to become world champion, and nothing was going to get in the way of that. As you won the first two races after summer, you became first in the standings, this sense of purpose being the one thing motivating you every weekend to give your best.
It was Interlagos that year when you needed only a podium to become World Champion, pretty much the same as Fernando two years before. The race was tough, and it felt like Fernando was out to get you, especially in a moment right in the middle of the race, when you were behind him in P3 and he tried to brake test you again, but this time you were quick to react, avoiding his rear and using his own dirty trick against him, turning sharply to overtake him from outer side, moving past him fast enough to gain some precious couple of seconds.
After that, you managed to smoothly overtake the P1 with a carefully planned pit stop that allowed you to come out first. Later on, you saw a crash, nothing too bad, but you found out it was Fernando and Webber.
“Are they ok?” You asked via radio to your engineer.
“Yes, they are already back on the pitlane.”
You sighed and focused back to your race, keeping your P1 safe, and going smoothly to take the checkered flag.
“Congratulations, Y/N! You’re a Formula One World Champion!”
You felt the tears coming down and dampening your balaclava, as you took one last lap to parc ferme, waving at the crowd that went insane.
It was like a huge weight was lifted from your chest. Because you were now world champion. You were there, and you deserved to be there, among the best. You didn’t need to prove yourself anymore, and you had finally paid Flavio back.
You jumped out of the car straight into your team, jumping with them, and Flavio ran up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. Jenson also found you and hugged you firmly, patting your back and Nico also hugged you, both of them were on the podium with you.
As you looked down from the podium, with a watery, emotional smile, you saw your dad crying like a baby and clapping his hands. Unconsciously, your eyes looked for Fernando, silly hoping it mattered something to him, that at least in the name of your former friendship, he would be there, but he was nowhere to be seen, and you felt like that was another nail in the coffin of your friendship.
Deciding to forget it, you drank champagne straight from the bottle, laughing as both Nico and Jenson paired up to drown you in champagne, looking happy for you.
After talking to your mom on the phone, you stood up, taking your bag and going out to look for your dad. You didn’t make it very far, as you came out in the hallway, you found Fernando, leaning against the wall. You paused, looking up to him while your heartbeat went up.
“I’m happy for you,” he whispered. And you wanted to believe it really badly, but thinking about him brake testing you during the race, trying to take you out, made you roll your eyes at him.
“Sure, you are,” you said sarcastically. He shook his head and clicked his tongue, like he was disappointed you didn’t believe him, “my debt is over now.”
“What?” He frowned, confused.
“I just paid Flavio for his investment,” you explained, “I’m not just here because you asked him to support me, I’m a damn great driver. I’m here because I deserve it, not because you took me out of pity.”
Fernando stared at you completely shocked at your words, something painful stabbing at his chest. He never thought you’d think like that over disgusting words he said in a moment of anger. Words that never meant anything to him, that he didn’t even believe in himself. The hurt in your eyes was the same from the day he said the words, when you cried looking into his eyes and telling him he was dead to you.
You walked past him and away. He wanted to shout that he never meant those words, that you were so much more, so much better. But you just left. Fernando followed you outside, trying to catch you and explain himself, maybe fix things between you, making peace.
But as he got outside, he paused, seeing you jumping in your boyfriend’s arms, laughing at something he whispered to you. Fernando swallowed, closing his fist and jealousy burned through his limbs, with such force that it felt like a fever.
Right after the Brazilian Grand Prix, Ferrari got in touch with you, offering a two year contract to become teammates with Kimi Raikkonen and drive for what was one of, if not the most classic team in Formula 1. After negotiations, it was a no brainer. You didn’t owe Renault anything any more. And that’s what propelled you to meet with Flavio that winter break in a cafeteria in Monaco. When you had called, he said he wanted to talk to you about something, which was convenient.
After pleasantries and small talk, you were ready to start, but Flavio cut you off without noticing.
“I have to tell you something,” he started, carefully, “Fernando is coming back to Renault next year.”
You froze for a second, not wanting to think too much about the implications of that. The fact that Flavio was willing to force you and Fernando to be teammates again even after the catastrophic ending you had before. Sighing, you covered your face for a second.
“I know you have reservations, but I’ve talked with Fernando and he’s willing to-”
“I’m going to Ferrari.”
And Flavio understood, after talking for a while. He knew Ferrari was most drivers' ultimate dream, and you weren’t immune to that either. Unfortunately for you, Fernando released the news he was going back to Renault a week before Ferrari announced you, and the media had a field day with that, tabloids and media outlets doing numbers of articles about you avoiding being teammates with Fernando again, since he was coming back and you were conveniently leaving almost at the same time.
Your races with Fernando kept being dangerous, one always trying to one up the other, dangerous moves and overtakes, close calls of crashing into each other, and more and more jabs publicly. The attacks at each other never stopped, and the media seemed to enjoy it, feeding into it ever so often.
One occasion, you were going for a win, and the only thing between you and that damn P1 was Fernando Alonso. So you kept your P2, biding your time as you tried to close the gap, leaving your chance at overtaking for the last few laps. When a fast turn came, you advanced, overtaking him, Fernando tried to defend his position, but you were getting the lead, and both of you were in high speed. Someone had to back out, otherwise you two would crash. But you were feeding off of anger and hurt, and you didn’t back down well into the turn, but suddenly, Fernando slowed down, giving up defending. You took the P1 and after a few laps, the checkered flag. You knew on the podium that Fernando was seething, his face didn’t hide that. Later, at an interview, someone brought up the dirty move.
“So, a very dangerous move at turn 2 during lap 47, no?” The reporter asked, trying to get a reaction out of you.
“I thought it was a pretty common battle, no?” You said, a condescending tone imitating him.
“Well, it could’ve caused you both to crash.”
“I took a risk, either I would pass and win, or we would both crash and DNF. Alonso was wise and went for the safest option.” I gave the reporter a fake smile.
You knew that answer would piss Fernando off, and a part of you knew he deserved it. Sometimes you acted on pure rage and pettiness, feral and way more aggressive against Fernando on track than you really needed to be. But he just pissed you off. Walking around with his model girlfriend, his attacks at your racing abilities, his pretty eyes that always seemed to find yours at the most inconvenient times.
Then, the race weekend would end, and everything that was left was shame. Your burning shame every time your mom’s eyes shone when she asked about Fernando, hoping you two would have made peace. You, looking away from her face every time you told her you knew nothing about Alonso because you didn’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
Later that year, after your two year anniversary with Ricardo, you accidentally found a ring box in his suitcase. A proposal ring, a beautiful big diamond ring, probably worth a small fortune. And you tried to feel happy about it, but you could only find dread in your heart. Despite loving Ricardo, you knew you didn’t love him as much as you could. And certainly not as much as she loved you. You didn’t love him as much as you loved-
Closing your eyes, you also closed your heart, and after that just like the coward you were, you broke up with Ricardo the kindest way you could. He was confused, because your relationship was tranquil, without many problems. It broke your heart to break his heart, but you couldn’t lead him on, you knew Ricardo was husband material, and the earlier you let him go, the earlier he would find his true happiness.
Ultimately, you decided to only pursue love after your Formula One career. Having a bit of fun here and there, and a couple of casual relationships even with other drivers, but nothing serious or public. When you found out Fernando was single again, a flicker of hope sparked in your chest, but when you saw him go back to his playboy ways… It died down.
Sometimes you would dream of a different life, of one you never lost your best friend… or even better, one that you never had to suppress the love you felt for him. And sometimes it felt too much, like all this love was just filling up your hollow heart, filling up until it overflowed, until you felt like you were drowning in it, because there was nowhere for this love to go. And you wondered, what do I do with this love, there's no one to give it to, there's no recipient to put it. So you would just ground your teeth and bear it, holding onto anger because that much love, that much longing did nothing but cause you pain.
Every time someone mentioned him outside race weeks, you felt ashamed.
Despite being in a top team like Ferrari, you’d only get a few wins, and some podiums here and there, so it wasn’t like you didn’t achieve anything. But you were a woman so it was obviously not enough, and the media started questioning your career and your place in Formula One.
After two years of you driving for Ferrari, Domenicalli, your team principal, sat you down to let you know Fernando Alonso would be joining the team the next year, and you bit the inside of your cheek, considering just retiring. The criticism was getting to you, and the perspective of living hell with Fernando as your teammate was a broken heart all over again.
When an opportunity arose to drive for Red Bull Racing, with a two year contract, you didn’t think twice before accepting. It would be your chance to turn the tide in your career.
It sent the motorsport world into a frenzy when your new team announced you and a week later Ferrari announced Fernando as their future driver. The same narrative of you running away from him was passed ahead. And of course, it got to the paddock. Most drivers that were close to you actually congratulated you, but of course, nothing was ever good for Fernando. And despite not fully talking to him, he was always willing to throw a mean comment at you any given day.
“And people said you’re washed” Fernando said right after the news broke, the second to last race of that season, his voice dripping with venom. You knew it was a backhanded compliment, he always did that when he wanted to get a rise out of you. He smirked, waiting for your feral clapback, as you always had one on the tip of your tongue.
But when he looked back at you, your face was stony, and you were looking ahead with your chin raised. You didn’t even look at Fernando, nor answered his taunting. You pretended he wasn’t there but he noticed your eyes were misty.
That had been a low blow, even for him. He didn’t know shit about your feelings regarding your career, but he knew exactly how the world had been treating it, and it made you burn with shame that he could add insult to injury this easily. You wondered why he would say something like that if, just like you, it had been years since the last time he was champion of the world. Two years pushing yourself to the maximum so you could achieve your second championship.
Fernando had been your best friend for so long, he knew exactly what buttons to push when he wanted to hurt you.
When someone else arrived, greeting you, you cleared your throat briefly before answering and plastering a smile that never reached your eyes.
“Are you running away from me?” Fernando cornered you later that same day.
“What?” You paused.
“I went back to Renault and you left, now I’m going to Ferrari and you’re leaving,” he shrugged. You scoffed.
“I’m not sure if you know, but my life doesn’t revolve around you, Fernando.”
“Well, that’s a weird coincidence, don’t you think?”
“What do you want? Why are you here?”
Fernando paused for a second, his eyes searching yours, he looked vulnerable, open like he hadn’t been in so long. He looked every bit your best friend from years before.
“I miss you, I-” He started, then cleared his throat.
“I miss the old you,” You swallowed a whole bunch of your pride just to be able to say those words.
“Things are different now…” Fernando started, his eyes full of hoping, of longing, “We could- maybe we could-”
“Fernando, we’re too far gone, what we said- what we did…” You muttered, feeling a lump in your throat, “how do one come back from that?”
“We could restart. Try again-”
“You lost me forever that day, Fernando.” You muttered, the tears holding on to your eyelashes. You didn’t need to specify the day, he knew, he had seen in your eyes the moment he lost you, “I spent so long hearing your voice in my head, telling me I wasn’t good enough, I shouldn’t be here, and I- I hated you that day. And I had to hold onto this hate, because the alternative was overwhelming sadness.”
There was a numbing silence for a couple of minutes, as you stared down at your own feet, trying to stop all the feelings you spent years carefully locking away from breaking free. So much had happened, you believed you and Fernando were too far to recover now.
“I’m a woman here, the first and only woman in so long, and the whole world was against me. You have no idea how it felt that my best friend, the person I trusted the most, was also against me,” You shook your head, feeling the tears drop.
“I’m sorry, Nena… I’ve never- I’ve never meant any of that.” He muttered, and you didn’t look at him to see if he was being genuine. You had formed walls around your heart to protect yourself from heartbreak, and you now had a hard time believing him.
“There are some things… that are not meant to be.” You didn’t look back at Fernando after you said that, choosing to walk away with this broken heart feeling ever present.
It was hard to keep going everyday. You had always faced backlash for being a woman in Formula 1, and you were used to it. But the media took a turn over the next few years. When you didn’t win more championships, when years passed and you were still there, along with other champions and future champions. They started to call you old, washed, telling you to retire and placing bets on when you’d lose your seat. It was baffling because it had been six years since your championship, but it had been seven years since Fernando’s, but still, you were the only one whose spot was questioned all the time. It was unfair, and whenever they came up to you talking about it, you’d ask them if they’d ask the same to older drivers or other champions. They would leave you alone for a week and then come back stronger, ready to throw your whole career under the bus.
Finally, you got another chance at the championship in 2013, after an unbelievable start of the season with five consecutive wins. That had put you first in the standings for the championship, and from there on, your team molded the season around you. Smooth sailing through the season, you became world champion in Suzuka, way too far ahead in the championship to anyone be able to catch up to you.
When you stood on the podium that night, you cried happy tears. You had once again proved wrong years of demerit from the world. As you looked down to search for your family, your eyes found Fernando right beside them, a proud, emotional look on his face as he kept a hand over his heart, listening to your national anthem.
He nodded at you with a small smile, and a part of you healed a little bit.
You enjoyed a couple of days of pure bliss after becoming world champion. Parties, celebrations and trips, they were all you did for the next few weeks.
When the FIA Prize Giving ceremony came, you had another bombshell to drop at the world. You were the most stunning you ever felt that year when you arrived at the ceremony, in a beautiful dark blue dress with little crystals all over the bodice, a beautiful hairstyle and even more beautiful makeup. Never in your entire career in Formula 1, you had felt so fulfilled, so happy.
Hearing your name being called as the winner, the number one, was different this time, and had much more weight, and it made your heart burst with happiness. As you walked up the stairs to the stage, receiving your trophy, you stopped by the mic.
“Thank you so much. I’d like to thank my family for supporting me from the beginning, my team for making the perfect season, and the perfect car for me to be able to achieve this. I’d like to thank all my teammates that, in one way or another, taught me some valuable lessons as a racer. Thanks to Flavio for taking a chance on my career when probably no one else would.” You said, with a smile. You took a good look around, all the people in this sport who made Formula 1 the most important category of motorsport, all your peers, all the teams. “I’m announcing my retirement from Formula 1, as of right now.”
There was a wave of shock and loud gasps in the whole room, flashes and flashes bulbing harder than before, journalists scrambling to take notes… But you kept smiling, hand firm around your trophy as you let the news settle down before speaking again.
“In 2007 I wanted to pay Flavio back for giving me the opportunity to be here today. That debt was paid that same year. After that year I wanted to win for myself, to write my name in the history books, and my dream is now realized. I feel like I should move on and make space for new upcoming talents.” Your eyes were wet with unshed tears, but you smiled, the first genuine smile in a few years.
Fernando felt his heart drop at your words. Things weren’t supposed to go like this, you two should be best friends, drive together, retire together. Go down in history together.
“I’m grateful for everything this sport provided me, the adventures, traveling around the world, the people I met and the people I lost,” there was a calm pause, and Fernando wondered if you were talking about him too, “Now it’s time to go and achieve new dreams. Thank you very much.”
You turned around and walked away under the applause.
Later, after the ceremony was done, you were getting ready to leave when Fernando came to find you. He was dressed in a beautiful suit, looking like a million dollar man.
“Nena…”
It made you pause. It had been a while since he called you like that with that specific tone. 
“What? Came here to gloat?” You couldn’t help but be defensive, worried.
“What?”
“I knew you’d be one of the happiest when I retired.”
“No, I would not-”
“You would, Fernando. You did. Many times you said I was done, that my prime was over, that I should retire…” 
“I never thought you’d easily give up!” He shouted at you, “Like you did in 2006, not competing against me.”
“That’s because they didn’t let me compete! Do you think I couldn’t have competed with you back in ‘06? I could, but every time, they would tell me to back off, to let you pass, to not fight you, to not overtake you-” You threw at his face, because you wouldn’t stand there and let him look down on you like that. You refused to back down now that you were finally free. “Pat threatened my seat if disobeyed team orders.”
“What?! Why did you never tell me that?” Fernando looked shocked. His fighting stance was completely gone now.
“You were going to be World Champion again. I would never take that from you,” You whispered, voice failing.
“Nena…” He said, like he wanted to drop everything. “Please, don’t leave. If Red Bull don’t want you, you can find another spot with another team, we can think of something.”
“Fernando, I’m not leaving because the team doesn't want me. In fact, they offered me a 3 year extension.”
“That’s not how it was supposed to go, remember? We planned that-” His voice was kinder than it had been to you in many years, “We would go down in history together. Win together, retire together.”
“When push comes to shove, only one wins… We learned that the hard way.” I say, with a sad smile, “Life doesn’t always go as planned. And I got everything I could ever want from Formula 1. Now it’s time for new stuff.”
“What new stuff?”
“I want to have a family, Fernando. People don’t stick around long for this lifestyle, you know that-” You shook your head.
With one last look at Fernando, your eyes watered, and you walked away.
Sitting on the porch, you looked up at the sky, thinking of what’s next for you. It had been months since you announced your retirement from Formula 1. The new season had already begun. It was your birthday, a refreshing new one.
You heard steps coming closer and your heartbeat sped up as you saw Fernando walking up to you. He sat down by your side, holding a pint of ice cream and two spoons. He handed one to you and in silence, you started eating ice cream.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said after a few minutes of silence.
“Was it hard to find me?” You asked, with a tentative smile.
“It only took me my whole life to find you again…” He said, wistfully, his eyes shining under moonlight and you didn’t know if those were unshed tears or not, “my best friend, my nena, my girl…”
“I’ve always been here. Right here.” You said, eyes watering. You weren’t sure you could explain what that here meant, but somehow you knew he would understand.
Fernando took your hand, gently placing it on his chest, right above his heart.
“Right here,” he whispered, pressing his hand above yours, over his beating heart, “you were always here.”
Then, he kissed you. For the first time in more than a decade, for what felt like the first time for both of you. As his other hand pulled you closer, the kiss deepened, like a prayer and a promise. Both of you knew there was a lot of resentment to navigate through, and a lot of feelings you’d both have to unravel and understand. But there was one thing that was always there, through hate, anger and hurt… And it was love, unshaken, steadfast love.
As you broke apart, Fernando pulled you into him, hugging you tight for a few minutes, before pulling away to hold your face with both hands, his eyes looking into yours with so much devotion it melted everything away.
“We will be alright.”
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aticklishpercivalwriter · 8 months ago
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My Honey ♡ My Bee (fic)
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For Artists Who See Their Art on My Fics Link to Art: (credits go to @munchr00m (elaine !) on Twitter!): Sethos/Scaramouche
Summary: Wanderer and Sethos hang out, but Scara’s thoughts and uncertainty about their dynamic in the future end up eating at him. Sethos reassures him through convincing means.
A/N: SethoScara!! These two have me in a chokehold and the art and fanfics for these two are amazing. And here is my contribution :) Inspiration for this fic comes from this post. I did my best to retain Scara’s bratty attitude, but I also wanted to show a softer and vulnerable side to him. So, I’m sorry if Scaramouche seems OOC to you all. With that being said, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
P.S. There is a small scene that might be slightly NSFW to some, you’ll see it when you get to it, so you can skip the section until you don’t see any of the stuff you don’t want to see. Can’t reveal too much for spoilers. If anyone’s interested in me writing a smut fic (would be my first!) for these two, let me know! I’ll leave a poll :)
Word Count: 1965 Also on AO3!
The sky was a mix of red and orange hues as the sun set over the horizon. At the base of a tree outside of Sumeru City sat Wanderer and Sethos. The two of them have grown to like each other’s presence and made the tree their special spot to be with one another.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Sethos spoke.
“You have poor taste in beauty,” Scaramouche answered, making Sethos chuckle. “That wasn’t supposed to be funny.”
“Hehe, I know. I never get tired of your responses.”
“Hmph, weirdo.”
A comforting silence settled afterward before Scaramouche spoke again.
“Why…Why do you keep putting up with me?”
The seriousness in his tone made Sethos look at him with concern.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m a nobody. Someone who tried to become a god. A puppet that was thrown away because they were useless. One that makes mean and snarky comments. Why? Why do you want to be with someone like me?”
A surprised look crossed Sethos’s face.
“Isn’t it obvious? It’s because I like being with you.”
Scara’s eyes widened as Sethos continued.
“I was curious about your mysterious past and kept pestering you until you told me. When you did, I didn’t turn away disgusted or begin to hate you. All it did was make me want to be with you even more.”
Conflicting emotions and uncertainty ran through Wanderer's eyes before they were stopped by a hand on his cheek.
“You dare-” Scara started, making a move to swat Sethos’s hand away before Sethos started stroking his cheek with his thumb. He went quiet as he made eye contact with Sethos who had an endearing expression on his face.
“I'll take care of you.”
I'll take care of you.
A flicker of light is shown behind Wanderer’s eyes upon hearing those words. But as quick as it came, his eyes darkened with uncertainty.
“It's rotten work.”
“Not to me.”
Surprised, stormy eyes met determined, loving ones.
“Not if it's you.”
Those words were an arrow to his heart as tears from decades of sadness, anger, and hurt threatened to fall. The world seemed to blur around him as his senses were solely focused on the man in front of him.
“The things you mentioned are in the past. It's time for you to move on and not let them plague your mind.”
Sethos leaned closer, accidentally making Scara’s hat fall off his head. The latter could hardly care as he felt Sethos comb his fingers through his hair and his breath on his face. Not to mention the soft lips that were barely a millimeter from his own.
“You aren't useless, Scara.”
Sethos’s warm breath hit him in the face as he spoke.
“You aren't a nobody either. Since our first interaction with one another, I was obsessed with you. Your hat. Your past. Your attitude. But most importantly, what hid behind those stormy eyes of yours. And the more I got to learn about you, I began falling for you. I wanted you. I liked you. I love being with you. Your sassy attitude, you calling me a busy bee, I cherished those moments. In my eyes, you are the perfect being and you have a place in my heart. I will go to the ends of the world to fight with you. To be with you. To…love you.”
Sethos pushed forward, softly planting his lips on Wanderer’s. He melted into the kiss, kissing back with fervor as Sethos took the lead.
“Sethohh- mmm~”
Sethos smiled into Scara’s mouth, taking pride in making him fall apart. Taking it a step further, he licked his lips asking for entrance. When he met no resistance and instead Wanderer parted his lips, he dove right in.
“Se- mmph! Mmhmm~”
“Mmm~”
Sethos sucked his tongue, making him roll his eyes in ecstasy as he tangled his fingers in Sethos's hair. Sethos deepened the kiss, gently pushing his back to the ground.
“S- ahh! Mmm~ Aah! Mmphahh~”
“Mmochi~ Hah! Scaraah~ Mmm~ You have hah~ too many ngh~ na- aah~ names~”
They continued their make-out session, drowning in each other's embrace and letting out their feelings for one another.
They broke for breath after some time. Sethos towering over Wanderer with his arms on both sides of his head and the latter laying his head back on the grass looking up at Sethos. His face was flushed, complimenting the pink and orange hues of the sky and Scara couldn't help but reach out a hand towards his cheek, caressing him.
“Beautiful,” he breathed out.
A red tint started to spread to Sethos's ears and a shy smile started to form.
“M-Me?”
“snort. Yes, you.”
He wrapped his arms around Sethos, bringing him down to his chest.
“I hate how you make me feel so mushy inside."
There's no bite behind those words. Instead, love and affection.
“It's my job now, honey~”
“Argh, Sethos.”
“What? You call me a bee, I call you honey. Plus, you are so sweet-”
“I am not sweet.”
“Yes, you are. Especially your taste. Sweet like honey. No wonder I am a bee that is so attracted to you~”
Scara just groaned, his face flushed red. “Where did you even learn to kiss like that?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Oh, that. Heh,” Sethos rubbed the back of his head, rolling off him and laying beside him.
“You know how they say the quiet ones are the interesting ones? I'm far from being quiet, but since being in the Temple of Silence, I tend to be alone in my thoughts a lot and my imagination runs wild. And when I first laid my eyes on you, I never stopped thinking what it would be like to kiss those lips of yours.”
Wanderer’s heart fluttered in his chest, knowing that Sethos was thinking of him from the first time they met.
“And how did it feel?” he asked, turning to him.
“We both know the answer to that.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
Sethos chuckled, facing him. “Alright, if you really want to hear it. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. The moment just felt right. When our lips touched, a pleasant tingling sensation traveled down my spine. Having your lips locked on mine, it just felt like we were meant to be together. Oh! Your moans. Don’t get me started on your moans. They were sweet as hon-”
“Okay, you are just teasing and trying to make me flustered.”
“Maybe~ Is it working?”
“Not even.”
“You sure about that? What's that reddening on your ears?”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Make me.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“What do you think?”
“Oh, you are asking for it, annoying bee.”
“I'll like to see you- ack! Ahahaha! T-Tihihickling is cheheating!”
Scaramouche smirked, hearing his giggles as he tased his sides with ease. “Aw. Sucks to be you then~”
“Wahahait! Nohohoho fahahair!”
Scara draped himself over Sethos, lazily tracing random patterns from his shoulder blades to his neck to his chest and back again.
“Doesn't take much for me to make you giggle, little bee.”
“Hahahaha! Mohohochihi! Gehehet off mehehehe!” Sethos tried to roll around to no avail.
“Hmm, let me think about it,” Scara put on a fake thinking face for a few moments before he began to knead Sethos’s hips making him choke on a surprised laugh. “Nah.” A smug look crossed his face. “I want to do this all day~”
“GAhahaha! Nohohoho! You ahahare- NAHAHAHA! Nohot thahat SPOHOHOT!”
Sethos shrieked as his lover dug his fingers into his armpits causing him to clamp them down.
“You are losing, my love~” Wanderer teased, rubbing deep circles into his lover's armpits causing him to howl with laughter.
“AHAHAHA! HOHOHONEY! IHIHIT TIHIHICKLES SOHOHO BAHAHAD!”
“Oh really? Here, let me help. Tickle tickle tickle~”
“THAHAHAT’S NOHOHOT HEHELPING! YOU’RE MAHAHAKING IHIHIT WOHORSE!”
“How about this? Coochie coochie coo~”
“STAHAHAP TEHEHEASING MEHEHEHE! AHAHAHA!”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” Scara said, playing dumb.
“YOHUHU LIAHAHAR! YOU- GAHAHAHA! NOHOHO!”
Sethos squealed as Scara used his thumb to massage his upper ribs.
“PLEheaSE ScahahARA!”
“Oh, my ticklish, little bee. Begging already? We are barely getting started~”
He decided to have a little mercy on Sethos, slowing down, so he could take a breather.
“Thahank youhuhu,” he giggled out.
“I’ll tell you what,” Scara started. “If you don’t laugh for 5 minutes straight, you win the challenge and get to tickle me to your heart’s content. If you lose, get ready to be tickled without mercy.”
“Pfft, 5 minutes. I can handle that. Challenge accepted!”
Wanderer inwardly grinned, his scheme working as he kissed Sethos with passion. Being caught off guard, Sethos quickly recovered, returning the kiss, unaware of the one hand that was inching closer and closer to his side until-
“MMPHAHAHA!”
Perfect.
“Noho! Youhuhu caught mehe off guahard!”
“I win~” Scara cheekily said. “Seems like that was your best… what a pity.”
“You planned that from the start!” Sethos pouted.
He stuck his tongue out towards Sethos. “Bleh, I win and that is all that matters. Come here and give me my prize.”
He lunged toward Sethos, leaving him no time to escape before he crawled his fingers under his clothes and attacked his tummy.
“I’ll geHEt yOUhu bahACK! AhAHAhAha!”
“Keep on dreaming little bee~”
After what felt like an eternity to Sethos of Wanderer skittering his fingers along his sensitive spots and teasing him to oblivion, his lover let up, lying right beside him.
“Mouchehe, you’re a ruhuthlehess tihickler.”
“Heh, that means that I’m still good at it or you are just too ticklish for your own good, or maybe both.”
“Scaraaa.”
They both fell into a peaceful silence as they stared up at the now starry sky, enjoying each other’s presence.
“Sethos?” Wanderer’s voice was soft when he spoke his name.
“Hmm?”
“Your words from before, I wanted to hear someone say those words to me for so long.”
“Which ones? You being sweet?” Sethos teased.
“Sethos,” Scara groaned. “I’m trying to be vulnerable here.”
“Hehe. Sorry sorry,” he chuckled, turning towards him and hugging him.
“I’m talking about when you told me you’d take care of me,” Scaramouche continued, snuggling into his embrace. “How it’s not rotten work to you and how you love me.”
He took a breath before continuing.
“It's all I ever wanted. Someone to say those words to me.”
A shooting star raced through the sky, lighting up his eyes. Sethos saw hope and a new spark of life in those mesmerizing eyes of his.
“I know I’m a bratty character and that’ll probably never go away, but I love you. I truly love you, even if I don’t show it at times. And…and I’ll go to the ends of the world for you too.”
Sethos could see the tips of his ears reddening and he inwardly grinned at how cute he was before going in for a quick peck on the cheek.
“Mochi, I love you so much. You are so freakin cute right now. But in all seriousness, I’m happy that you are in my life and I can’t wait to spend all of it with you. My sweet, honey love.”
“Archons, you are going to be the death of me you mushy bee.”
Sethos brought their lips together for a slow and soft kiss. Knocking their foreheads softly together, both of them stared into each other’s eyes, enjoying the moment before pulling away. Sethos was the first to stand up, grinning from ear to ear. Wanderer shook his head in amusement, picking up his hat and setting it atop his head before reaching out towards his lover’s outstretched hand. They started their way back into the city, hand in hand with fingers entwined.
My Honey.
My Bee.
Thank you for reading! :) -Perz ~Risus Amoris~
More questions are in the Google Form if you want to provide more feedback. Plus, the question for a potential smut fic. Thank you again for reading and your time :)
Link to Google Form
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sukunasweetheart · 7 months ago
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kimi ni todoke inspired, but with a twist?? except sukuna is suuuuper into your whole scary/creepy vibes (strange fetish) this is more just rambling, not a proper fic sorry, its a little smutty, scratching and knifeplay involved (he's quite submissive), sukuna's a whole FRREAK
sukuna in college au, where he has a strange infatuation with the horror genre-- has a deep appreciation for scary films, and is a huge nerd in this area, and many of his favourite celebrities are actors and actresses that starred in one of his favourite films. his brother yuuji is also a huge cinema nerd but he's not as obsessed with horror as sukuna is. and frankly, yuuji thinks he's a slight weirdo for being able to analyse them in a very detailed manner, whether it's the jumpscares or how realistic a gore scene looks.
and now this horror nerd discovers someone very noteworthy in his area. there's this semi-famous haunted house that operates year-round nearby his university, which he decides to visit alone, out of boredom.
...the atmosphere is alright. the decoration could use some work. the bloody sheets don't look convincing enough. it's too pink and tacky. the "ghosts" give an effort to try and scare him, but he gives them a deadpan look.
"can you try any harder?" sukuna keeps walking.
next, a man dressed like a typical serial killer walks in holding a real chainsaw. oh, boy. the "killer" walks up real close to him, to his annoyance. he takes the chance to inspect the mask on his face. he flicks it lightly with a finger.
"shit's made out of plastic. do better."
the man revs up his chainsaw.
"ha - that's the spirit." he continues walking.
there's suddenly eerie silence, now that he's almost at the exit of the haunted house. what, did they run out of ideas?
he thinks he catches a glimpse of someone in the corner of his eye. sukuna stops and turns back, but there's no one in sight. that gets the hairs on the back of his neck rising, ever so slightly. he likes that.
he feigns ignorance and keeps heading to the exit, wanting something to jump out at him. he hears little footsteps behind him, this time. he whips around again, but there's nobody.
"you're edging me, are you?" he says sarcastically with a chuckle.
you're hiding in a little pocket area out of view, when you hear the man mention something about edging. great. another fucking weirdo. sometimes, you feel like you should just get a new job.
the third time, you actually reveal yourself and stand still in view when he turns around. the weirdo just stands there and grins at you. the fuck??
oh, sukuna loves this one. you look terrifying. like you came directly from a horror film set. you give him the creeps.
"look at you... a diamond in the rough."
the fuck is this man talking about? you want to tell him to just leave already. but he just continues observing you silently, like someone analysing an artifact. you move stiffly towards him, even while knowing that it probably wouldn't be enough to scare him off.
"your makeup looks too real... do you do that yourself?"
you glare at him. it's part of the script anyway. sukuna chuckles, because something tells him that the disdain in your eyes are real.
"i know, i know. i'll get going. any chance i could get your number before i go?" he asks boldly, hands in his pockets. it's a half-hearted attempt, but he felt the need to really try at least once.
he must be joking. what kind of perverted man sees a woman looking like this and asks for her number? well, he probably isn't being serious anyway. silence permeates the area as you backtrack away from him, deciding you've done enough for your pay's worth.
"running away? a shame..."
you feel odd. many men have seen you and ended up running out screaming. none has ever tried flirting with you while you were in this getup. what a weirdo.
sukuna walks out feeling better than expected. that last section really saved it. not a totally worthless experience. maybe he'll swing by again, just to see you.
except, he doesn't really need to. because the next day you bump into him at uni - and he recognises you instantly, like the freak he is. you try to brush him off casually, but he can't be shaken off so easily. and then sukuna pestering you wherever you hid around on campus became part of your schedule.
"what's your deal? why do you keep following me around?" you eye him suspiciously, when he sits down next to you on the bench, unprompted.
"well, i'm interested in you, for one," he says casually, shrugging.
"listen... if this is because you have some weird horror fetish, then i'm not interested..." you tell him truthfully, shuffling yourself away.
sukuna laughs out loudly in response, which makes you jump.
"i won't deny having unusual tastes, but my interest isn't that shallow. if it were the case, i could probably seduce any other girl and dress her up instead of chasing after you."
well, you guess he's correct about that. you've received a couple of stink eyes from a number of girls after being seen with sukuna so often.
he's an annoying guy - when you ask other peers about him, they tell you he's stoic, mean, and rude as fuck. well, you understand the last two a little bit, but stoic? every time he sees you, he seems like the opposite. he's rather loud and overbearing.
"i'm telling you - you have a talent. why not make use of it?"
he's referring to your future acting career, apparently.
"and i'm telling you - stop with the nonsense! i can't be fooling around with a silly idea like becoming an actor. seriously."
you only started working at the haunted house for some cash. you're not even that into the genre itself. what's with this guy?
"why would it be fooling around? at least give it a try before dismissing it."
this back and forth continues, for quite a while. he even forces you to watch his favourite horror films, "for future reference".
and then he proposes a deal to you. that you try and audition for a small role as a ghost in a film. he guarantees you'll get picked, even though you doubt it. and if you don't he promises he'll never bring the idea up to you again. you decide to go with it, just to shut him up.
but guess what? you're selected for the role.
sukuna shrugs at you with a smug smile on his face.
"see? i'm always right."
he pisses you off.
and he somehow pushes his way into becoming your personal "trainer". sukuna revises your script with you, and gives you feedback on your acting. he sits you down and watches classic horror flicks with you, analysing every scene down to every frame. many things happen the more you spend time with him..... you find yourself getting more and more attracted to this weirdo. this horror nerd.
"are you paying attention? this part is important."
the film gets paused, and you very swiftly, dart your eyes away from admiring his jawline.
"i'm trying... i just can't concentrate. i'm hungry," you lie fervently.
"hungry for what? me?" sukuna grabs your face and makes you turn your head towards him.
"...no? whatever gave you that idea?" you ask, heart hammering in your chest.
"how is it that an aspiring actor can't even lie properly? maybe we need to go back and revise some of your acting lessons."
you know that he's studying to become a film director, and honestly you feel sorry for the future actors that'll be working with him.
"whatever. let go of my face, you ass." you swat his hand away.
sukuna chuckles deeply at you, eyes softening.
"you're lucky that you're cute. how about i give you a kiss? will you concentrate better then?"
"yeah... wait, what-?"
too late though, he's already on your lips. and damn, he's a good kisser. anyways, that embarks the start of your relationship with him. shortly after, the filming process for the short film begins, and it becomes a decent success. you're a little ecstatic. maybe more than a little. you get the feeling that a whole new life is awaiting you.
and your boyfriend is so endlessly cocky about it. "all thanks to me," he says, which is technically correct, but you don't want to openly admit it in front of him sometimes.
and...
occasionally...you do dress up scarily before sex as well. at first, you were quite reluctant and awkward with roleplaying in bed, but after you got used to it, you found that it's hot as hell to see sukuna beneath you, squirming as you press a knife close to his throat, grinding your clothed cunt against his boner, dressed as a terrifying ghoul.
a safe word was established beforehand, of course, just in case either of you suddenly feel like backing out.
you want to keep yourself immersed into the role as much as possible, but it's difficult when sukuna's cock is so big, hitting all the right spots. this time, you're choking him with one hand as you ride him like he's a toy.
sukuna's hands are guiding your hips, fingertips digging into your flesh, his dick aching from the soft pressure you apply to his throat. you look so utterly scary, it turns him on. he'd let you kill him, if you wanted. he fucks into your cervix, looking up into your eyes with a blush on his face, groaning openly at the insane look in your eyes.
choke me harder. scratch me. bite me. he provokes you through his gaze.
you do grip his throat harder. and then you dig your fingernails into his chest, and scrape them down slowly, leaving a trail of red marks down him. sukuna shudders under you and curses under his breath.
"just like that... fuck, baby," he moans, cock throbbing inside of you. your walls squeeze him so good.
he cums the hardest he's ever cum in his life that night - thighs trembling and sweat rolling down his temples, and it doesn't help that you lean down to sink your teeth into the side of his neck while he orgasms.
aftercare consists of him cleaning you up and helping you de-costume. when he's wiping all that dark makeup off your face, he tells you that you're pretty with his soft voice, flustering you.
and of course, vanilla sex also occurs regularly, to get away from that freaky stuff sometimes, with the gentle kisses and tender hand holding, in a missionary position, exchanging sweet, sweet gazes with each other. giving you the princess treatment you deserve for being so good to him.
in the future, you run around and play bigger roles until one of your films become a huge hit, and sukuna finishes his degree to become a famous film director... no surprises there! the best horror actress + the best horror film director goes hard... the two of you are already married at this point.
when the both of you finally get together to make the ultimate film, the internet explodes... sukuna is surprisingly bad at being professional. he's seen often taking care of you rather affectionately around the filming area, personally making sure your makeup is done perfectly, and bringing you food and water as if he's bragging to everyone else about his marriage. and it shows in the way he sugar coats his critique for you, when he has never done that for any other actor/actress he's worked with previously.
if there are some snooty coworkers that try to speak with him about the gap in treatment, he would simply scoff at them and say 'and? she's my damn wife.'
when he's working with you, it's all like:
"cut! honey, that was great, but i think this part can be done a bit better."
but when it comes to other actors:
"cut! what the fuck was that? sounded like you were reading off the damn script. get your shit together."
he's notorious for being relentless, but nobody has anything to say because all of his films climbed to the top of the industry. everyone is dying to score a line or two in his films.
and i'd like to think that sukuna himself dabbles into acting a little as well. there's probably one film where he stars as the killer, and it becomes a classic :) but the one featuring you and him probably becomes both of your biggest hits ✨
oh, and on days where you two finish filming together, he takes you home with his own car, but before that, some freaky car sex probably occurs around some corner with his windows tinted... (he's been hot and bothered the whole time filming, watching you act)
the end <3
Masterlist
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ccrisntok · 3 months ago
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Your Masterminds, Whit Young, and Ace Markey! (mm! whace au)
(Spoilers lol)
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what normal fellas ahahahahaha (I have poured my entire soul into these two there is nothing left of me)
A basic summary of their relationship:
Whit has spent like, over a year manipulating Ace into being complacent in his plans. In his own eyes, Ace is a sorta-stupid lacky, who he's constantly love-bombing to keep obedient. Although, he is a bit glad for the company... it was sorta empty when Ace was "dead" and they couldn't really talk. And maybe Ace almost dying from his fake execution was a bit disturbing. But he's sure its nothing! (He fell in love with him like a moron.)
Ace has fully fallen in love with Whit. He's not happy about it, but it happened. As a result, he's basically ruined any semblance of his own morality, just so he doesn't lose Whit, or the affection he knows is mostly performative. He's more than happy to kill his fuck-face classmates, after a... bit of prodding, and honestly, he'd do anything Whit asked at this point, even die. He'll still complain about it, though.
i tried to be as original as humanly possible, but I'm def giving credit to @talkativeanonymous, @acethehorseishere, and @a-blog-for-kat all for inspiring these two in one way or another (esp. a-blog-for-kat lol).
anyway there's the art, here's the promised lore. warning for like a million words. I'm serious. It's 1,400 words. you can stop here i don't blame you.
also sorry for the odd looking bullet points, didn't realize you couldn't have gaps lol!
This au operates on a probably un-canon assumption that I pulled out of my ass. That is that Mai Akasaki is both a student in the class of 27, and that she is the "time loop" student. She is usually a part of the killing game, but she isn't this time, for reasons I'll explain in a sec.
This specific loop, Mai is attempting to dissuade the (usual) mastermind from wanting to start a killing game in the first place. That mastermind is Whit Young.
She goes about this by trying to curb Whit's main reason for his descent into despair, his resounding loneliness, by giving him championship. Charles hasn't softened up to the others in any regard yet. But that wasn't the main reason, unbenouced to Mai.
In this loop, and this loop alone, Mai sets Whit and Ace up to be friends. She hopes they can help each other, since they usually end up more or less alone in their school life.
Surprisingly, it works. They get along decently well, although a codependency starts to develop on Ace's side.
Around this time, Whit takes up an internship at XF Future, which Mai doesn't realize. He innocently wants to explore other job options, "Matchmaking" not really being a stable career forever.
Obviously FX Future isn't a normal Tech Company. Whit starts to change, in a barely noticeable fashion, the longer he works there.
Ace notices Whit's contacts start looking a lot more vibrant after Whit takes a couple weeks off school for a "company trip." He thinks it's... sort of pretty.
(Whit's time at XF Future showed him a side of humanity he didn't realize existed. Insane levels of greed, using the concepts of "ultimates" to guide a stupid pubic where the Government wanted them, generally a dystopia. It feeds into his existing detachment from humanity, until he hits a breaking point, setting his sights on ending the "Ultimates" concept by killing the newest class in the public eye, including himself.)
(XF Future develops a new sort of technology, prosthetic "eyes" that basically turn you into a living remote control, able to connect to an entire building if its connected via a computer system. Security cameras, doors, fucking air conditioning- everything.
(Whit offers himself as the test dummy, and it goes perfectly.)
Anyway, Mai decides to talk to Ace, since she's starting to realize he's becoming a bit... softer after hanging out with Whit so much? And hopes like, for once, he'll actually accept help for his mountain of problems.
He doesn't take this conversation very well.
Mai, with knowledge from dozens of loops, accidentally brings up an extremely traumatic event, simply mentioning the name "Tyler" once.
In a blinding mix of rage and horror at Mai's knowledge of the event, that Ace has literally never even spoken about in this timeline, Ace shoves her away from him.
She falls backwards, and splits her head on a desk, killing her instantly.
Ace, in a horrified frenzy, calls Whit, literally his only friend.
Whit shows up. Ace expects him to freak the fuck out, call the cops, or something like that... But he doesn't.
Whit simply tells him they were going to hide the body together, not even remotely caring about Mai's death.
yeah that's a little fucking weird, and its terrifying, but going to jail is scarier sooo Ace goes along with it!
After this, Whit wraps Ace into uncharacteristically cruel pranks against some of their classmates and others at Hopes Peak, oftentimes resulting in physical injury.
He acts like these are completely normal and funny, while Ace is both freaked out by it, and sort of enjoys enacting pain on people he didn't like.
Along the way, Whit notices Ace starting to fall for him. Horrible news for Ace, since Whit plays into those emotions by becoming much more physically and emotionally affectionate. Which he doesn't enjoy, like, at all... not a bit...
Whit convinces Ace to assist him in greater and greater acts of violence until Whit just straight up kills someone (not a classmate, a stranger.)
Ace is of course tied into everything way too deep to stop now, and after all this... he doesn't really want to. So he stays as Whit's accomplice for months, up until Whit's weirdo behavior arrives at the idea of the killing game. He references the "First Killing Game", which Ace had never heard of.
The idea is a bit intense for Ace, but at that point, he didn't have anything beyond Whit. If it took this to stay with him... He'd do it. Even if in the end, they both were going to die.
So they get to work!
Ace had been taking engineering classes at Hope's Peak in hopes of getting out of jockeying, and he'd helped his family build sheds and shit since he was a kid, so he focused on the construction and executions.
Whit wired the building an all-encompassing computer system he could control, as well as stealing "Mono-TV" from XF Future, a robot he can fully control to be the "host" of the game.
He also steals the "mind wiping" technology from XF Future. It's weirdly easy to steal stuff from this company, hm? It's almost like they aren't protecting it...
Whit also uses another piece of experimental biological technology... on Ace.
A screen connected to his brain, a lottt less invasive than Whit's eye surgery. It doesn't impact Ace mentally, it just gives him the ability to produce visible projections for easy construction, communicate with Whit remotely, (and give Whit a way to always know what Ace's condition.)
The screen is unclipped when the game starts, but the brain implant is still connected to Whit, so he can detect Ace's condition.
After kidnapping the class of 27 and wiping their memories... It all starts. A killing game, streamed live to the entire nation.
Whit and Ace start off as a part of the class, interacting with the others like normal, a pretty decent show. Things go roughly as planned, putting everyone in the positions Whit wanted them. Untilll... chapter 2.
Ace gets his ass jumped, and almost dies prematurely. This is fine, Whit privately makes sure the wounds properly cleaned, but it does fill Whit with an... ominous feeling.
Ace still kills Arei, a part of the plan, and gets "executed", so he can more easily upkeep the executions and such behind the scenes.
After the screen playing the fake execution turns off, Whit checks to make sure Ace didn't get injured in his running around... but can't detect anything.
At all.
Ace's heart wasn't beating.
He actually, seriously, had a fucking heart attack.
(Ace's heart attack was for a combination of reasons. Firstly, his heart was actually in pretty bad condition as a result of his eating disorder, something Whit had figured was "over" by now. It wasn't!)
(Second, in that moment, the idea that maybe, just maybe, Whit could have been double-crossing him came to Ace. What if Whit loaded the guns? What if Ace's use was done, and Whit was finally getting rid of him? It was terrifying because he could die, and terrifying because... It'd make sense. It was all that ever happened to him.)
So he had a heart attackkk lameeeeee
This makes Whit tweak the fuck out, internally. (lol pretend his spooky ass sprite happens AFTER the execution, not before. shh its all made up its all pretend)
After Levi gets taken to the infirmary, Whit drops Charles off at his room as quickly as he can, then fucking BOLTS IT to a hidden passageway in his room to the like... Mastermind area, with the execution chamber.
Whit manages to resuscitate Ace in time, barely. And even after that, he's in pretty bad condition. But he's conscious and mobile.
Whit gets him as comfortable as he can, and after spending the night, he sort of... has to leave. He does some tweaks to Ace's brain screen thing, creating a functional heart monitor that Ace (and he) can watch.
As often as he can, Whit sneaks off to the Mastermind area at night to make sure Ace doesn't fucking die in his sleep. But Ace gets... decently better quickly, and returns to his duties overseeing the killing game.
Whit still visits almost every night to make sure Ace wakes up, which he can't really explain to himself. Ace was... supposed to be disposable anyway. Why would it matter if he died?
Anyway yeah the rest of the game happens. No clue there.
In the end, Whit and Ace come out as masterminds (happy pride).
I have a comic planned for how the end goes, soooo... that's it!
holy fuck! my fingers! hi the whole 2 people who made it down this far... uh... did you like my lore.....? do you want me dead now for having you read 1,400 words of two evil homsexuals...? 😅 love you thank you im sorry.
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dokidokitsuna · 10 months ago
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The Diary of Penny Polendina
The other day I was inspired to try working on a different NeverFell Projects installment, one that would probably be a lot shorter and quicker to write, because it's not like I care that deeply about Penny, right??
Well, I was incredibly wrong. ^^; So wrong that I'm actually having trouble with this story now...essentially, Penny goes through a bit of a 'rebellious phase' (gross oversimplification, but that's all you get for now) and there are, surprisingly, a lot of aspects of that character arc that I want to explore. Plus, a pivotal connection with Pyrrha, the climax of which I haven't quite figured out yet...
God only knows if I'll be able to finish, or if I'll just write the first 2/3rds of the story and leave it at that. But I figured I might as well warm up by talking about the designs. ^^
Penny's new look is basically 'Disney's Pinocchio, color picked from Arthur Watts' character design'~
I didn't necessarily want her to look evil, just...bolder. Like she specifically picked 'daring' items that maybe her father or Ironwood's PR team would rather she didn't wear, at least not compared to the more innocent frilly pastels she had on before. Between the chest window, midriff, and short sleeves, she's actually showing a lot more skin than before, despite still being 90% covered up. ^^;
Those multicolored wrist accessories are prototype weapons invented by Dr. Watts, that mix and pressurize Dust from the cartridges to cast "artificial magic". This way I get to do a bit of the 'Winter Maiden Penny' stuff in this Vol. 3-locked AU~
Penny's magic usage is one of the things that stumped me when writing this story...In NeverFell, magic isn't just glowy rainbow lasers or weather powers-- it essentially allows the user access to any conceivable semblance at any time; its potential is limitless. Being a beginner, Penny would probably just come up with one signature 'spell' to use in tandem with her Floating Array...but I can't decide what I want her to do. ^^; I think I'd like for her to do something connected to dance, because I feel like that's something unique to her, the way she dances with her weapons before striking. Nobody ever points out how the "robot" in the cast is the one who chooses to spend energy on unnecessary movements that aren't even used to maneuver around an enemy; they're just cute and fun. ^^ I think that's a great encapsulation of who Penny is~
Redesigning Pyrrha is always super difficult, because her original design is so perfect. But I like this end result a LOT. ^^ I may need to adjust the pant legs a bit, but overall it feels like a very believable alt outfit that keeps the spirit of the character.
Pyrrha is another one of the stumbling blocks in this story, because I'm now forced to create at least one malleable personality trait for her-- i.e. one that isn't intrinsically tied to Jaune and/or the plot. Something that she could actually take into a meaningful relationship with a different character... I had the idea to expand her "I'm sorry!" gag into a real guilt complex, where she has trouble letting go of instances where she's made mistakes or hurt someone. In this case, dismembering Penny 1.0 and essentially ending her life. :T She seeks out 2.0 in a desperate effort to make things right, and ends up helping her with ...things, and growing as people or whatever, and all that other stuff I have yet to write. ^^;
I just realized that Pyrrha could use her polarity semblance to pull Penny towards her in a situation where they need to reach each other...that's so cute. ^^ I gotta remember that~
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soaps-mohawk · 4 months ago
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I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.
This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.
So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.
That's a lot.
So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.
So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.
I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.
I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.
BUT
That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.
Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.
That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.
So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.
So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.
So...let me know...
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corruptedcaps · 5 months ago
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Transfusion Confusion
The following story is inspired by a prompt from the great @misseviehyde
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Emma tossed in her hospital bed trying to sleep but she knew from weeks of being there that it would be futile. It wasn't the bed or the room itself, which was relatively nice for a hospital, that kept her from sleeping. No it was her long prolonged illness that gave her insomnia.
Emma had been in an out of hospitals since she was young. She had a rare condition that would strike at anytime. It wasn't life threatening but it made being a functional adult nearly impossible. She would spend weeks like this alone in the hospital getting her body pumped full of steroids and hormones to return her body to normality.
Her condition made having a social life basically impossible. As a result she didn't have any friends, had never had a boyfriend, and even her parents had ran off when she was four. It was a pretty pitiful existence but it was the only one she knew.
The door creaked open, and Rita, a kind and friendly nurse Emma had known for years, walked in, pushing a bed with a comatose woman on it. The woman, despite her unconscious state, was strikingly beautiful, her features sharp and flawless.
Emma sat up, confused. "What's going on?"
"I'm sorry to wake you Emma. We're running out of space, and I hope you don’t mind if we put Veronica in here for now. She’s been comatose for a while, so she won’t cause any trouble. If she ever wakes up, that's when the trouble would start." Rita said with a tired smile.
"Why? What's her deal?" Emma said looking at the blonde haired beauty.
"You never heard of Veronica Steele before? Well count yourself lucky. She's a real piece of work. A week after she married the richest guy in town, her new husband fell mysteriously to his death. Of course no one could prove it was her but she didn't make it secret she enjoyed inheriting everything he had." Rita said as she hooked Veronica's bed up to the sensors.
"So how'd she end up in a coma?" Emma asked intrigued.
"Oh she partied a little too hard and over dosed. She loved to let loose any chance she could and she did it often. She broke up so many good relationships. That's why everyone called her the homewrecking queen. Although I know some who called her the Whorewrecker." Rita said blunted. She looked over at a shocked Emma.
"I'm sorry Emma, it's been a long shift, I don't know what I'm saying. I'll just hook up her IV and I'll be out of your hair. She'll only be here temporary, I promise." Rita said going back to finishing up.
Emma sighed and lay back down, pulling the thin hospital blanket up to her chest as Rita moved around the room. She closed her eyes as the nurse placed Veronica’s bag in the closet beside her bed and began setting up the IV drip.
Rita, clearly exhausted, fumbled with the tubing for a moment. Without a second thought, she connected Veronica to the same IV bag Emma was already attached to, her tired mind too clouded to notice the mistake.
"There we go," Rita mumbled, stepping back with a satisfied nod before quietly leaving the room.
As the room settled into silence, a soft bubbling sound came from the IV bag. A strange pink liquid began to seep from Veronica's drip, mixing with the clear solution. Slowly, it flowed down the tube, snaking its way toward Emma’s arm, the liquid now entering her bloodstream unnoticed.
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As the minutes ticked by, Emma began to feel a strange sensation coursing through her body. What started as a faint warmth soon blossomed into a surge of energy, filling her veins with a vitality she had never felt. Her frail limbs, once thin and weak, began to fill out, muscles tightening and expanding beneath her skin.
Opening her eyes she watched in awe as her arms and legs transformed, growing stronger, more defined. The sensation was intoxicating, a rush of pure, exhilarating strength, but the best was yet to come.
Emma’s gaze dropped to her chest as a tingling sensation spread through her. Her boobs, once modest and unremarkable, began to swell, growing larger with each passing breath. She gasped as they expanded beyond anything she had ever seen on another woman, full and heavy, straining against her hospital gown.
Emma's eyes drifted to the IV connected to her arm. The pink liquid was pumping in rhythm into her body. She followed the tubing up to the bag and back over to the lifeless Veronica.
She noticed with shock that Veronica’s once voluptuous body had become gaunt and frail. Her once full tits had shrunk to barely noticeable proportions. The life force, the very essence of Veronica’s power, was being siphoned into her.
Instinctively, Emma reached to remove the IV, but just as her fingers touched the line, a seductive voice echoed in her mind saying "Don’t!"
The voice seemed at once comforting and commanding. Desirable and demanding. It continued.
"Veronica has no use for her beauty trapped in that coma. It would be such a waste to not use it, don't you think?" The voice purred in Emma’s mind.
Emma’s hand hovered over the IV, trembling. She knew she should take it out in hopes to reverse whatever was happening but she couldn't deny how increasing good she was feeling.
"She had her fun, isn't it time you had some of your own? Isn't it time you got to feel alive?" The voice continued. She tried to resist, tried to shake off the influence of the voice, but the logic it offered was undeniable. Why should Veronica have a perfect body when she was nothing more than a shell?
"After all the years of being weak and pathetic, haven't you earned this? Don't you deserve this?" The voice hissed pleasantly.
Despite herself, Emma felt her lips curl into a smirk, the seductive reasoning taking hold. The voice was right. She did deserve this. Why not take what was freely flowing into her veins?
Emma let out a slow breath and lay back down on the bed, sinking into the thin mattress, as the changes continued to ripple through her body. Her once dull and lifeless hair began to shimmer with health, growing longer, thicker, and cascading down her shoulders in luxurious waves.
Her lips, which had always been chapped and thin, plumped into a full, sensuous pout. Emma ran her tongue over them, feeling their newfound softness, a wicked smile tugging at the corners.
She held her hand out and watched as her nails, once brittle and short, lengthened and hardened into perfectly painted manicured talons. She ran her hands over her new tits with pleasure, giving them a joyful squeeze.
Her body was red hot with desire for her own form and she needed release. Pushing her hands further south, she slipped them under her hospital gown. Had she'd known how good long nails felt in her pussy she would have had them done every week.
She let out a moan of carnal delight as her fingers got soaked with her own juices. She watched in glee as her all blemishes on her skin started to erase. Her pale complexion began to tan, erasing the years spend inside under fluorescents.
As her body transformed, so too did her mind. Her sweet and caring nature, moulded by years of loneliness and illness, was getting corrupted. Where once she desired human connection now it sickened her. She didn't need anyone, not when she was superior to them.
She felt an overwhelming surge of narcissism, a belief that she was better than everyone else, more beautiful, more powerful. Her thoughts turned mean, dismissive of others. Vanity and arrogance took root, feeding off her new obvious beauty. The voice in her head was no longer an intruder. It was a reflection of her own desires.
"Yesssss! I feel so fucking alive!" She groaned as she continued to pump herself. She watched with an evil grin as the last of the pink liquid flowed into her body. She timed her climax to that moment perfectly and with one swift motion, she ripped the IV from her arm, feeling the rush of her transformation, her orgasm, and the last of Veronica's essence in one.
Emma swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, feeling the solid strength in her legs. She leaned over backwards, catching herself on the ground and flipping back onto her feet with ease. She wasn't just cured, she had evolved.
Each step toward Veronica was deliberate, confident. She stood over the frail, unconscious woman, a sneer curling her lips. Veronica had all the imperfections that once plagued Emma. Thinning weak hair, pockmarked skin, unathletic limbs, unremarkable beauty.
Emma turned to Veronica's closet and eagerly ripped it open. She began rifling through the expensive clothes and luxurious belongings. She pulled out designer dresses, delicate lingerie, and sparkling jewelry, tossing them onto the bed with a satisfied smirk. Each item felt like another piece of the life she was meant to have, now finally hers.
However she found the biggest prize inside a designer bag. Pulling out her wallet, Emma grinned at the plethora of credit cards just crying out to be used and abused. She took out Veronica's ID and stood in front of the mirror with it next to her.
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"Yes of course I'm Veronica Steele, how dare you question me. I'll have you fired for even speaking to me worm." She said with a natural bratty tone that she knew would have everyone convinced she was Veronica in no time.
However out of the corner of her eye she saw something unexpected. Veronica was stirring. The transfer must have some how knocked her out of her coma. However Emma was not about to give up a life she had barely tasted. Picking up the pillow from her bed, Emma walked calmly but coldly over to Veronica.
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Rita was having her 7th coffee of her shift, fighting against her drooping eyelids when the code blue alarm started to go off for Emma's room. The shock of the alarm was like taking seven coffees at once.
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Rushing to the room she got in just time to see a blonde bombshell pulling the bedsheet over Veronica.
"I'm sorry nurse but the little urchin girl who was in here with me is gone. I think Emma was her name." Said the blonde, turning around with a face that conveyed no hint of sadness.
Despite her extreme transformation and the fact that she was in Veronica's designer clothes, Rita was not fooled by who the blonde was.
"Emma? What happened? You look…" Rita said before being cut off by Emma.
"Nurse Rita, you are delirious with exhaustion. I am Veronica Steele." Emma said, her voice smooth as silk but carrying a hint of menace.
"I don't know what has happened or what you have done to the real Veronica but it's ok we can fix this." Rita said bewildered but trying to get a grasp on the situation.
"Nurse you forget your place and you forget who you are talking to! I will buy this hospital and turn it into a landfill if you keep talking like this." Emma said, her ire palpaple. And yet Rita could not condone what was happening.
"No, this isn't right, I can't...." Rita said trailing off as Emma slowly approached her intimating her.
"Listen here you fucking cunt. You will report the unremarkable death of Emma Smith. You will also report on my miraculous recovery, Veronica Steele. If you don't I will see you hang for the death of that useless bag of bones laying over there. Understand?" Emma said with a whisper that was somehow more intense than her shouting.
Rita looked up at fear at the woman she had taken care of for years, seeing no part of her left.
"Y-yes... of course." Rita said trembling.
"Yes what?" Emma said starting to smirk.
"Y-yes... Ms. Steele." Rita replied. Emma satisfied and more than a little bit aroused at hearing her new name, stood back from Rita in triumphant.
"Good. Now go order me a fucking car." Emma said, turning her smirk into a cold pout. Rita quickly scurried out of the room.
Emma walked over to the closet and picked up the bag that contained the begins of her new life. She stepped over to the door and took one last look where the real Veronica lay.
"I wish I could say I was sorry, but that wouldn't be very Veronica of me." She said with a cackle as she left the room.
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THE END
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allyallyorange · 1 year ago
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Master Post for Ateez Adventure Time AU
Ok let's get into it! I'll be adding to this post whenever I post anything new for the AU! I'm going to try to organize everything so that it's in chronological order of the story! There are a few arcs I've got planned too so I'll try to make everything as clear as possible haha
(also I do my best but sometimes I confuse myself with exact ages of the characters and exactly like. what time of year things would take place, but think of it like any CN show we grew up with - time is seemingly an illusion if I don't think about it too much...)
Also!! Thank you so much to everyone who has said they enjoy my au!! you help me stay motivated! I'm having so much fun drawing this stuff ♡
Lineup for ref:
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Good to know points about the AU:
Universe A = main universe
**this au is inspired by Adventure Time. I'm not using main characters from AT, just using the general vibe of the show and some plot points and character points (ex: Vampires drink the colour red)
Universe Z = no magic universe
Ages at the beginning of the story (approximately):
Seonghwa - 1000 (physically 25)
Hongjoong - 2500 (physically 25)
Yunho - 24
Yeosang - 850/900 (physically 24)
San - a little over 100 (physically 23)
Mingi - a little more than 600 (physically 23)
Wooyoung - 23
Jongho - 22
**characters who are "immortal" age about 1 year over the course of 100 years (SH, HJ, YS). San and Mingi are not immortal but didn't age due to other circumstances (in hell time works differently, and MG was frozen for 600 years)
List of Spotify playlists if you're interested!
Misc doodles dumps that include things from pre/post/main story and idk where to put
Character lineup plus other doodles
Hongjoong and Mingi (they're bros)
Hongjoong doodle
Character lineup for final battle
Pre-Story (Universe A)
Seonghwa Logs
Pieces of the past
The star and his flower
Cuddle for warmth
Slipping through my fingers…
Hongjoong and Seonghwa meet
Big Brother and Little Brother
First Demon Prince Show
Glasses required
Sleepy brothers
Wooyoung summons a friend
Helpful Human
Yunho and San
Sleepy Heroes
No Ice Demons in the Workshop
Seonghwa + Yeosang, Hongjoong + Mingi profiles
Jongho + Yunho, San + Wooyoung profiles
Pre-Story (Universe Z)
2ho and Mingi playing video games
After School
Spider-Man 3
Cold Hands
Walkie Talkies and ice cream
Post Joyride with Jongho and Mingi
Wish You Loved Me
Hyung’s Glasses
Cousins
Motorcycle
Yunho The Human
2ho Universe Z to A
Main Story
Living in the forest
The Same
Jongho and Mingi doodle
Afraid of nothing, Afraid of everything
Yeosang meets team Woosanho
The story of The Beast (as told by Wooyoung)
Hongjoong meets Jongho
Team Hongjoong arguing as always
Almost tolerable
Don't kidnap people unless you're ready for friendship??
First meeting: Fire and Ice
First meeting: Yeo meets team Joong
Strawberry boys
Sharing mom
Grocery Shopping
Upgrade!
Cold hugs
San and Mingi hug
Hero boys!
Hongjoong isn't scary. MG and YH becoming friends again?
Ouch! Hot
Wooyoung and San's room
Sleeping on the shed (Hongjoong and Seonghwa)
Seongjoong awkwardness
Yunho's photos
He wants to join...
Vintage shirt
Window visit
The Boy and The Beast
Apologize..?
Jongho after the accident
Cool scars (Jongho)
Summer Boys!
Beach episode
Chill day
Big bro Little bro
Hey, Joong!
Post-Story (Yeosang arc)
Dimension hopping with friends (lineup)
Somewhere in another dimension...
Universe V
Evil Yeo doodle
Sorry Princess
Heart to Heart
Out of Time
Post-Story (Mingi arc)
The End of The Beast
Hugs
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tlbodine · 1 year ago
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Stuck? Try junebugging.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but we're 5 days into nanowrimo so maybe this will be helpful.
Do you want the safety and surety of knowing what happens next in your story but can't stick to an outline? Does knowing in advance what will happen suck the joy out of discovery writing? Do you try to wing it through plots but get tangled in plot holes or have a story that runs out of steam because you can't figure out what went wrong? Are you at your most creative when you have a little bit of guidance? Do you tend to under-write? Do you get ideas in your head for random scenes and snippets that drop from the sky without context?
If any of these apply to you, junebugging a draft might be for you!
What Is Junebugging?
Since you're on Tumblr, you might already be familiar with the concept of junebugging as it relates to cleaning. If not -- I think the idea was first introduced to me by @jumpingjacktrash.
The basic idea is that you tackle cleaning by way of controlled chaos. You pick a specific area you want to focus on, like your kitchen sink, and then wander off to deal with other things as they occur to you, but always returning back to that area. You end up cleaning a little bit at a time in an order that may not make sense to an outsider but which keeps you from getting overwhelmed and discouraged.
How Does Junebugging Work in Writing?
OK, so that's great, but how does this work with writing? Well. In my case, the general idea is to jump between writing linearly, outlining, and writing out of order. It usually looks something like:
Start free-writing a scene, feeling my way through it and enjoying the discovery process.
Thinking, ok, now I have this scene, did anything need to happen to lead up to it? Do I need to go back and add some foreshadowing? Does this scene set anything up that needs to be paid off? And then jump forward/back to make those adjustments.
I'll usually have a bunch of disconnected ideas of ideas that have popped into my head, so I'll write those down in a list somewhere and then try to figure out what goes in between them and what order it goes in.
I'll write what I call "micro-scenes" which is where I'll just sketch out a few essential elements of what's going on without worrying too much about details, description, etc. -- just he did this, she said that, the setting was this, real bare-bones script. Then I can come back through and flesh out each of those microscenes into an actual scene later.
Got a story that has a complex structure? No problem. Write through each storyline one at a time and then chop them up and weave them together afterward. Write all the B plot scenes first then come back through to do A plot and C plot. Move the pieces around like legos. No one ever has to know.
This method works for me because I can't "decide" story elements in advance. I have never been able to just sit down and "figure out" what happens in a story beyond a couple steps ahead -- I have to discovery-write my way forward. But at the same time, that gets really daunting. So I zoom forward with micro-scenes, roughing out the beats in the most bare-bones way possible, then when I run out of clear vision for what happens next I backtrack, flesh out those scenes, build in connective tissue, etc. and by then I will probably find more inspiration to jump forward.
It's basically folding drafting, outlining, and revising all together into a single phase of writing, which is chaotic and goes against everything people teach you, but if it works? then it fuckin works.
Anyway, sorry for the jumbled-up post, I'm dashing this off quickly while I heat up a pizza and I'm about to dive back into my WIP -- but I hope this was a little helpful. If nothing else, take this as my blanket permission that it's 100% OK to jump around, write out of order, write messy, outline sometimes, pants sometimes, and do whatever else it takes just to get through the story. You've got this. Good luck.
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winterzsurprise · 2 years ago
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Thirty Minutes || Miguel O'hara
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Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!reader
Summary: After convincing Miguel to take a break from working, he generously granted you thirty minutes with him and you know how you'd spend it.
Words: 1.7k
Tags: NOT BETA READ, smut, rough sex, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasm, squirting, big dick Miguel, standing sex, deep penetration, fang play, office sex (i guess?)
This is so rushed but he just do things to me. He breathes and I start giggling and twirling my hair. I am so feral for him I'm sorry (not sorry). I swear I'll bring more flavor next time :''DD
forgor to note that the glasses part is heavily inspired by that one scene from a kdrama named "Business Proposal".
hermosa - beautiful || cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love
Being the leader of the inter-dimensional spider hub, it's expected for Miguel to be drowning with tasks and reports to analyze at any time of day. You accepted that fact when you started dating him on the down low.
You didn't care that he's busy since your time is also taken by fighting crimes and eventual missions. Plus, at the end of the day, the make up sex is godly.
But you find it hard to tolerate it when days and nights blurs without him leaving his office unless he needs to eat and use the bathroom.
Apparently, Jessica has held a few interventions for him with Peter B. and it failed every time. Miguel threw them out and threatened to shut Layla down if she didn't block their access to his office.
Passing by you in the lobby after another mission, Peter B. asked you with a stern look while Mayday babbled, mirroring the seriousness of her dad.
"Please do anything to get him to leave his office. I beg of you."
So after dinner where there's less activities and presence in the hub, you head straight to his office with barely a plan in mind. Clearly confident you'd make the man rest, even for fifteen minutes.
The hatch parts open and you are met by the image of him reading out a report in formal clothing and square glasses, sitting at the edge of the platform. He briefly looked up from the report before returning back to his task.
"Let me guess, Peter sent you here?"
"I heard they've already hosted a couple of interventions and rallies."
Miguel huffed, pitching the bridge of his nose. "Such a waste of time, they could have been in their home world watching over their cities."
"Come on, you know that they're just concerned about you."
"And you're here because you're also concerned?"
You laughed, webbing onto the ceiling and pulling yourself up to land beside him. “Are you really going to act this way, Miguel?”
Miguel didn’t respond, focusing on reading on the report about the paper Doc Ock variant found in Earth 2199 written by the Victorian Spider-Man. You settled on sitting next to him in silence after retracting your suit back.
His subtle glances on your skin tight shorts didn't go unnoticed but you ignored it in favor of 
You took the time to observe the man whose bulky body is covered in a simple  dress shirt with three buttons down and black pants that complemented the thickness of his thighs. The square glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose only added more flavor to his attire.
He's criminally dashing.
After being away for days to catch an anomaly and crime fighting in your own world, you couldn't ignore the simmering desire bubbling in your abdomen.
How could you not be when your darling looks like a five star Michelin meal in front of you?
Your attention seemed to bother Miguel, who let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, what do you want?”
“I just want to spend time with you, is that so bad?”
Miguel deadpanned at you, seemingly disturbed by the thought before putting the reports down and turning to face you fully with his arms crossed. His eyes scanned your form up and down, letting his head fall back before groaning.
“Alright, I’ll bite. You got thirty minutes.”
You grinned. "That's all I need."
He raised an eyebrow at that but before he could question it, you captured his lips with yours. As if the kiss was a droplet on the water, the ripples caused by the taste of his lips awakened the lust simmering in the pit of your stomach.
His hands found your hips and pulled you close until you rediscovered your rightful seat on his thighs. Rough and calloused touch sneaked past your top and crawled up to the swell of your breast.
Miguel pulled away, removing his glasses—quite erotically—before diving back to lose himself in your lips.
"Is this what you plan on using your thirty minutes for?"
"You know it'll last longer than thirty."
"I doubt that."
His words sent jolts of pleasure down your spine, igniting your nerve endings alight.
"Are you really going to fuck me in your office, boss?"
"Don't 'boss' me, hermosa and you know I'd spread you open no matter the location."
His hands unclasped the front of your bras and spared no time in covering your flesh with his. The rough texture of his palm rubbing against your firm nipples got you moaning, hips twisting in his thighs desperate for stimulation.
Pulling away, Miguel's lips fell to your throat, his tongue roamed the skin above your heartbeat that rose when his razor sharp teeth grazed your flesh, threatening to pierce. With the soft suckles on your neck and the rough massage on your mounds, you were a moaning mess, tugging helplessly on his hair and grinding pathetically on him.
"You're so desperate for me, mi amor. Did you miss me that much?"
"Shut up and just touch me, please."
He groaned, deep. "You sound so adorable when you beg, baby."
He quickly made work of your shirt, tossing it along with your bra before moving to tugging your shorts off. Your hands busies itself with his dress pants, desperate to feel the heat of his skin against your own and to feel the curve of his girth once more.
It didn't take long before you're both naked and bare to anyone who dares enter his chambers. A shrill excitement electrifies your skin at the thought of being caught, the riskiness of being discovered and seen being devoured by the man you love oddly arouses you further.
Though you're sure with how possessive he is, Miguel has already shut the gates to anyone till he's done with you.
But it was an interesting thought to have while his three of his fingers savagely thrusts in and out of your hole, the other hand grounding your hips made it impossible to escape the onslaught of pleasure after pleasure striking your nerves down, you screamed, clawing at his broad back as he fingered you open.
Miguel grunts. "Scream louder for me, mi vida. I want to hear how good I make you feel."
His thumb found your clit and started drawing figures of eight on them, the knot in your abdomen twists tighter as you climb towards your orgasm. There's a wet squelch building up to bounce in the chamber and you flush red yet Miguel took it as a compliment, increasing his speed and curling three fingers upwards more.
Your legs shook violently from where they stood beside his wide thighs before the knot unfurled and you came with a shout, trembling pathetically in his hold. The sudden onslaught of serene euphoria makes you light-headed and you rest your forehead on his shoulder.
He pulled away, choosing to be merciful and let your shaking figure settle down before continuing.
"You didn't squirt? What a shame."
"F-fuck you."
"Don't lie, cariño." There's a grin in his voice as he pulls you flush to him. "I know you like it when I leave you writhing pathetically."
Not sparing any second, he stands up and you wrap your arms around his neck, already sensing his plan as he reaches down to line the tip of dick with your sopping heat. The sensation of his girth so near your entrance re-igniting the suffocating arousal and desire in your body.
"And god, do I miss seeing you cock-drunk and shaking."
Plunging in deep, your mouth falls and you scream. The hilt of his girth grazing your uterus along with the burn of the stretch sparking every nerve endings alight. The familiar feeling of his cock reminding your hole who it belongs to made you feel dizzy, it was too much but it feels so good.
His thrusts are unforgiving, rattling your soul every time his hips collide with yours, leaving you breathless and moaning unintelligible words. His fangs digs into the crook of your neck as he pants and groans into your skin.
The sensation of your pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest sends electric shocks down your spine, adding onto your quick climb to your high.
You could barely make out the Spanish words he's whispering like a prayer, mind fogged with nothing but the pure nirvana he was handing to you. 
"Fuck, you feel so good for me. Always so sweet and tight for me, yeah?"
"Yes yes yes…!"
One of his hands grabbed hold of your jaw, forcing you to meet his dark red eyes. "You're not leaving this fucking room until I'm done with you, understand?"
You nod vigorously, wanting nothing but to please him enough to reward you with another orgasm. His lips found your neck once more, nibbling on your skin and teasingly dragging his fangs in his conquest to mark you, which shook you from your stupor, pushing his head away.
"No-not too much. It'll show."
Miguel's eyebrow raised, unfazed. "And?"
"T-they'll find out."
He scoffed. "I don't fucking care. Let them know who fuck you well and bare."
Angling his hips, he grazes a spot and you cry before the next plunge hits it, your legs began to shake around him with every thrust. Tears blurred your vision as pleasure invaded your very being, it didn't take long before you burst in his arms, your arousal painting his clenched stomach.
"That's it. Give it to me."
Ramping his speed, you howled. Pain started to mix with euphoria but you couldn't stop, it's not enough to satiate your famished soul. 
"F-fuck…! I-I don't think I can a-anymore."
You squealed at the sharp stinging pain left by his hand on your clit. "You will and I'll make sure of it."
Palming your bead more gently than his savage thrusts, he tightened the coil in your stomach tighter and tighter until it exploded and splattered once more unto his glistening abs, legs writhing helplessly in the air.
With the unbearable tightness of your velvet walls around his dick, Miguel soon followed. Hot liquid arousal painting your insides white with every pulse of his dick. You groaned at the familiar feeling of fullness before wincing at the pain of overstimulation.
Slapping his back, you whined. "I'm so fucking sore and you'll make me walk out by myself. How fucking cruel of you."
Miguel grumbled, catching his breath as he sat you both down on the floor.
"Who said you're leaving, cariño?"
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