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adorethedistance · 6 months

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I Don’t Just Like You - Trevor Zegras x Hughes!Reader

Hockey Masterlist

Warnings: swearing, tension/fighting, jealousy, Dixie lmao

Words: 2161

Summary: Tension builds with Trevor over his new partnership until the two of you confess your feelings.

A/n: Y'all I am so not doing well rn. I am processing a break up and questioning my social circle and im so lonely that I needed to write some angst to cope with it all. Hope yall like this one and maybe it'll get a smut part two depending on whether or not I can handle writing that rn lol. Enjoy!

Moose: call me ASAP

Me: sorry Luke. can’t rn

Moose: Awesome 😎

My hands quake with anxiety as I fiddle with the tarnished silver ring adorning my pointer finger. The moisture of my skin eases the movement of turning the ring around my finger. I hiss when the gemstone catches on the skin of my middle finger and immediately drop my hands.

Currently, I’m staring down at the risky text I just sent Trevor. About an hour ago he had messaged me:

Trev: hey sorry can’t swing tn after all

Trev: rain check?

My jaw tightens with contempt and I huff out a sigh as my bottom lip trembles. I feel pathetic for just how impacted I am by his every word. I angrily hit the digital keys of my phone’s keyboard as I type my reply.

Me: really?

Me: again??

Trev: don’t be like that

I’m not the most confrontational person. On any given day some might say I’m the furthest thing from confrontational. To put it rather plainly, I just don’t like it. I hate the way I get anxiety butterflies in my stomach. I hate absorbing the emotions of the other person, especially when rejection is involved. I hate what projections I’m opening myself up to receiving from the other person. There are too many pitfalls and not enough landing pads. Which is why it’s so out of character for me to press him on this.

Me: like what Trev?

This is the third time in a row Trevor has cancelled plans on me. I don’t know if he’s aware of that. I don’t even know what he’s been up to lately. He’s refused to tell me what he’s been doing instead, which didn’t raise my suspicions by any means until mom sent me an article. She knows about how my crush on Trevor has had roots in our childhoods.

Trev: you know what I’m talking about

After I stopped playing hockey with my brothers, I was still always around to notice Trevor’s presence in our home. When I moved to California for college, I wanted to chase my music dreams but I didn’t realize it would come at the expense of my support system. Being long distance with my family put me in a hard spot, but having a familiar face to rely on made the adjustment easier. As we spent more time together independent of my brothers, Trevor and I became close friends. The problem was my crush has been growing ever since we became friends, hence why mom sent me an article called, “Did Dixie D’Amelio admit to dating Trevor Zegras?”.

Me: at least say it with your chest

Sent. Delivered. I wait. Trevor’s response bubble appears for a second. It disappears, then reappears, then disappears again. I’m about ready to toss my phone across the room when his message delivers.

Trev: call me

I groan out in frustration and this time actually end up chucking my phone onto my bed. I run my hands through my hair, along the warm expanse of my scalp. A self-soothing gesture by all means. I pace to one side of my room before using the momentum of my steps to start back towards my phone. Just as I have it in my hand, Trevor’s contact picture covers the screen and illuminates in my grasp. I scoff out a sort of half groan and then answer.

“What, Trevor?”

“Hey, Y/n I’m great. Thanks for asking! How are you?” He responds sardonically to my cold greeting. I bite my tongue, torn between tearing into him and the stronger desire to laugh through my rage. He takes my exhale as a cue to continue. “What’s going on, Hughesy?”

In a single moment, my anger dissolves. The tenderness of that nickname, which was once reserved solely for my brothers, now belongs to me. In this moment, I find myself thinking about how grateful I am that Trevor was there for me as I transitioned into college. But the looming threat of a smile quickly vanishes as I remember how that care is nullified by Trevor’s abundantly active dating life.

“Y/nnnn?” Trevor hums into the phone.

“What?” I respond dryly.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is you cancelling on me for the third time in a row.”

“Is it really the third time in a row?” He asks under his breath, indicating he may not have intended to say it out loud at all. I roll my eyes, still actively fighting the urge to just lay into him.

“Yes, Trevor, it is!” I can practically hear him wince through the phone at the fact that I’m calling him Trevor instead of the default nickname permanently programmed into my phone.

“Who’s that?” I hear softly over the phone. My heart flutters like a coal mine parakeet in a cage and I bite my lip, willing myself not to cry if it turns out Dixie is on the other side. Trevor whispers back,

“It’s Y/n.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Mason’s on the other end.

“Not a good time,” Trevor tells him. Mason curses and then apologizes before retreating from Trevor’s general area. “Sorry, you were saying?” Trevor tells me at regular volume.

“You were cancelling on me again.”

“Oh. Right. I…” he switches the phone to the other ear, “I…don’t know what you want me to say.” Hello?! Could he be any more oblivious?!

“I want you to tell me what is going on!” I whine into the phone, “What is it you’re so busy with doing that you can’t see me for a week, huh? I get that you’re a professional athlete and you have a busy schedule. But I know your schedule and I know you still have a decent amount of free time. So what have you been doing?” Trevor breathes, in, then out and says,

“I’ve been seeing someone lately…” I feel my heart shatter into the tiniest fractals of what it once was and I cover my mouth to choke back the growing lump in my throat.

“I can’t do this right now,” I say with the utmost hurt lacing my voice, pulling the phone away from my ear to abruptly hang up on Trevor. I toss my phone on my bed once more, ignoring how the screen lights up with Trevor’s contact picture. It’s a new breed of psychological torture to sit here and ignore the calls, so I leave my phone in my bedroom as I go to splash cold water on my face.

When I reenter my bedroom, I ignore the buzzing device to put on a comfortable pair of pajamas. He’s called once, twice, a fourth, and a fifth before finally giving up. Despite my phone being silent, I don’t trust it enough to take it with me and leave it to charge on my bed. I settle on the couch to open my new pint of Ben and Jerry’s, putting on my favorite show in the hopes of laughing through the pain.

Somewhere between first and second episode, I had dozed off after returning the ice cream to the freezer. I’m not sure what it is about crying that knocks me on my ass like that, all I know is that it works.

I’m abruptly pulled from my sleep when I hear the harsh banging on my front door. I jump up from the couch, the spike in adrenaline carrying me out of my sleepy haze. When I get to the front door, some of the tiredness catches up with me again and I groggily open the front door. Behind it stands Trevor, with sad puppy eyes and a sheepish expression. I can’t help the scowl that comes to rest on my face when I see him, but he doesn’t falter. Instead, he pushes past me to come into the apartment and sits on the couch expectantly. Since there’s no way to physically remove him from my space, I bargain, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, as far from Trevor as I can manage. He doesn’t let the cold gesture phase him, and scooches obliviously into the center of the couch.

“What’s going on Hughsey?” I scoff at the nickname and Trevor cringes in frustration. “What is this?”

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

“Why are you icing me out all of a sudden?”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I ask, spiteful, with malice.

“Clearly not since I’m here spending time with you.”

“Was that so hard for you to do? I mean, with your busy schedule and all?”

“What are you-” Trevor pauses for a split second. “Wait, are you… jealous? Y/n?”

I want to protest. I want to scream and rant and bite back, how he could be so conceited to think I’d be jealous of a relationship that I previously thought was rumored? But I can’t.

Because he’s right.

I bite my tongue. There’s nothing else I can do. Not unless I want to make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have.

“Oh my god, that’s totally it. You’re jealous.” Trevor says, complete with a laugh and a sigh. The shame of actually being jealous of a girl I’ve never met, the disappointment of finding out Trevor is dating someone, and the exhaustion from already having cried earlier comes collapsing down on me at once. Hot tears well on the lining of my lashes and I stare at the ground, afraid to draw attention to myself. Upon seeing me cry, Trevor’s smile immediately vanishes and he scoots closer once more.

“Hey, shhh, it’s okay.” He envelops me in a hug that I’m too overwhelmed to reciprocate. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

I merely shake my head, unaware of what I could even say in this moment.

“I was… I was just laughing ‘cause I should’ve known.”

“Should’ve known what?”

“That you’d be jealous.” I wriggle out of the hug and look at Trevor sincerely.

“How would you have known?”

“You know, for as long as I can remember, your brothers have talked about you having a crush on me.” I cower in humiliation, my face glowing hotter than the surface of the sun.

“I wish they wouldn’t have.”

“No?” Trevor asks, genuinely.

“It’s embarrassing,” I confess, fully recoiling from the physical contact he had initiated before.

“It’s cute.” Trevor earnestly admits as he takes my hand in his. I scoff instinctively but don’t pull my hand away again.

“I don’t need your pity, Trev.” I say so softly he nearly misses the sentiment. Once he processes my worlds, I feel him physically relax next to me at the sound of his familiar nickname.

“Well, what do you need? I’m here now.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I finally dare to meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so sweetly, earnestly. As if I hadn’t just chewed him out two minutes earlier. Then, I look away before I can say what I’m about to say next. “I don’t just like you.” Trevor’s face lifts ever so slightly. The extent of which, one might miss had they not known him a lifetime the way I have.

“You know… the only reason I started seeing her was to get over you.”

“What?” I ask, sharply whipping my head to stare at Trevor, as if awaiting the reveal that this was just some elaborate prank from the start.

“Yeah. I started dating Dixie because I thought dating someone different would distract me. You know, it’s not a good look to have a crush on your best friend’s little sister.”

My heartrate picks up with his confession. This feels too good to be true. As if real life is waiting for us right outside the front door. The real life that doesn’t see me and Trevor together ever in our lifetimes. Terrified of the change that would occur from letting him walk away, I reach up and hold his face in my hands, kissing him passionately. Trevor wraps his hand around my wrist and kisses me back with twice as much fervor.

We break apart, out of breath and full of smiles. Trevor looks at me for guidance and we fizzle into a nervous laughter. I reach up and brush my thumb tenderly across his cheekbone. He grabs my hand and turns his head, placing a sweet kiss on my palm. I then reach up and break the moment by ruffling my hand through his hair to mess it up.

“Hey!” He yells, grabbing waist to dig his hands into my sides. I screech with laughter as I try to escape. Trevor eventually yields and slips his hands from my sides to interlace with one another and pull me closer. I scoot in to sit against him, sitting half on top of him as our breathing falls in sync.

“I don’t just like you, too, Hughesy.” I smile.

“...You should probably call Dixie.”

“Oh shit.”

***

A/N: not my best work but not my worst either!

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luvfy0dor · 7 months

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“Hands Under My Sweatshirt, Baby Kiss it Better ♡⁠˖” Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; BSD Spoilers, mentions of death, ch. 112 events, soft!fyodor

Description; Having a nightmare about your partner dying and waking up to him comforting you

A/n; i'm supposed to be doing a saq rn but I COULDNT NOT POST ON NEW CHAPTER DAY AHHHH I WANNA BE FYODORS MEDIEVAL HOUSE SPOUSE SO BAD IN EVERY LIFE TIME

ೃ⁀➷

Everything felt so real- you watched as your lover got into a helicopter with a briefcase containing an antidote, expecting a swift escape from Mersault only to be impaled by an iron rod. You watched as his eyes widened and his slender fingers wrapped around the pole. Blood trickled from both the new piercing in his midsection and between his lips while his breathing became shaky. He glared at another man in your dream who has been rendered faceless while speaking, although everything in the dream was silent so you couldn't make out any particular words or sentences.

The night terror didn't stop at your boyfriend being impaled, as a matter of fact it made you watch as the helicopter was messily flown directly into a tower and burst into flames with Fyodor still inside. You tried to hurry towards the aircraft, but it exploded before you could reach it. The blast didn't effect you, not scorching you or propelling you backwards at all, but letting you stand there and watch as all hope of getting Fyodor out of there shattered like glass. The crackling embers of fire surrounding you gradually became accompanied by a soft whisper-one that was all too familiar and thick with sleep. You were still in shock from the dream when your eyes snapped open, your legs curled inward with Fyodors chest to your back and his hand soothingly rubbing your side. "It's okay, Moya Lyubov, what happened?" He asks you, his eyebrows furrowed and his breath warm against your ear as he presses a chaste kiss to the nape of your neck. "Nightmare. You're...you're okay." You murmur, relief taking over your heart and mind. You rolled over, your body pushing his backwards a bit. "Ofcourse I'm alright. I'm not going anywhere, y/n, I promise. Was the dream about me getting hurt?" He correctly assumes, his tired gaze fixed on your own. "Mmm, worse, dying." You say, your heart finally returning to a steady pace.

"Ah, that makes more sense. You were very restless, you know." He tells you. "It's easy to tell when you have nightmares, you're like a dog. You make some distressed noises and kick your legs." He says with a grin. You sigh and close your eyes, pressing your head to his chest. "It's better than being stiff as a board though, 'cause that means you'll pick up on it and be all sweet and affectionate." You say. Your arms wrap around his torso like they would with a stuffed toy. "I'd say I'm rather affectionate regardless. You're just needy." He looks down at you and pushes your head out from his chest, kissing your forehead while his other hand slides up the back of your sweater and rests on the small of your back. You hum and twist the fabric of his tee-shirt between your pointer and thumb. "M'not needy." You roll your eyes and look up at him through your eyelashes. "If you insist." He says, closing his eyes and readying himself to delve back into a dreamless sleep. "Mhm..g'night, Fedya, I love you." You say, pressing a quick kiss to his lips that gets his eyes to open right back up. He kisses you back and smiles faintly. "Good night, Y/n, I love you too, sleep well." His arm drapes over your side with the blanket strewn messily over the both of you. Now you could sleep a little more peacefully with the reassurance of your lovers presence in your arms, and more importantly, his safety.

A/n; i speedran this tbh, so I'm sorry if it's not great. Also, would if I made like,,, a taglist would any of y'all wanna be on it because I see so many people do it and it looks cool but I've been too nervous to like say anything or ask bc I don't want people to be like "ew no wtf" THATS LITERALLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN BUT LIKE IDK I'm scared djsjjfjekekak

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starlightazriel · 3 months

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BAD BOY AZ FINAL PART <3 (I KNOW IM CRYING TOO)

warnings: FLUFF (you're welcome its not easy for me), smut, jealous az, childhood trauma effecting relationships(abandonment issues and overthinking everything), feeling unworthy, lots of time jumps

a/n: im sorry this took so long it shouldn't have because its short :( i struggled greatly. i just wanted to thank you guys for all the love ive received on this series, im just as sad as y'all but all good things must come to an end, i will eventually add additional drabbles for this series too and there's so many other things im working on rn, i hope y'all stick with me and read them i love you, requests are open. <3

additional parts can be found on my azriel masterlist

wc: 2.3k

"You know, I meant what I said the other night," Azriel says, leaning against the counter, his hands on either side of him. Y/n was sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen, her feet dangling as she sat on the counter, her hair was disheveled from sleep, hickeys covered over the one that Lucien had given her, Azriel couldn't bare to keep looking at it, so he'd remedied that the morning after they made love. They were spending time at his house now, her parents weren't coming back until Sunday so they had been at Azriels, fucking, making love, a lot of kissing, more than he had ever done in his life.

Fear gnawed at him, the anxiety was like a rock in his gut. But he ignored it, he was trying to change, trying to embrace other feelings.

"What did you say?" she cocks her head to the side, meeting his gaze, he swallows, his cheeks growing warm.

"I just said that um.." he struggles a little bit, his eyes shifting away from hers, "I want a fresh start with you.. I want-" he cuts himself off, feeling embarrassed. "Just want you to get everything the right way, the way that you deserve... Im probably not going to be any good at it, but I want to try," he swallows again, his eyes lifted back to hers, his chest warms at the smile on her face and he can't help but return it.

"Az I would love that," she breaths out. They hadn't really talked about anything in the past few days. He hated that the reason was because she was afraid to scare him away again, afraid that if she spoke about things that made him uncomfortable that she would lose him again. He hated that she had to be afraid about anything, she didnt realize that he wouldn't leave, even if he pushed her away. He physically couldn't stay away from her.

He was struggling for sure, especially with things like that, it made him feel even more like he didnt deserve her. He didnt deserve her kindness and her understanding, her love.

"So... See a movie with me tomorrow," he suggests, licking over his bottom lip.

He knew there was still things to worry about. His plans after graduation, which now seemed almost impossible, earning the approval of her parents who never seemed to like him much, even the thought of the approaching summer stressed him out. But right now.. Right now he just wanted to show her what she was truly worth, make her feel the way that he should have from the very beginning.

"I would love that too," she grins back at him, leaning her hands back on the counter, her feet swinging, gently tapping the cabinets. He wished he could freeze the moment forever, just there with her, in his kitchen, his t-shirt, oversized on her, draped over that beautiful body. And she was his, she loved him. "Az the pancakes," she reminds him, and her words cause him to snap out of his haze.

"Oh shit," he turns, smoke curling up from the pan. "I burnt them butterfingers, you distracted me," he smiles sheepishly pulling the pan off of the stove.

"Azriel, I didn't do anything," she laughs, shaking her head. "You should have just let me make them, I told you," she smirks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have to do anything to always have my attention," and it was true, every time she was in his presence she consumed it. He figured, saying things like that were easier than saying I love you. She still hadn't said it again, he didnt blame her. He knew how she felt though, even if she was afraid of scaring him off again.

Her eyes gleamed at the statement, like it had warmed her insides. He blushed, when had he started getting flustered? "What are we going to eat?" she asks, a small pout forming on her lips.

"I should just eat you for breakfast," he says, closing the space between them so he was standing in front of her now , he rested his hands on her knees, slowly started sliding up, his fingers pressing gently. She bites her lip, her eyes drifting over his body carefully like she was trying to remember each and every one of his tattoos. She giggles softly when he burys his face in her neck, pulling her to the edge of the counter. "Shower with me," he mumbles softly against her neck, placing soft wet kisses there.

She giggles again quietly, nodding her head and he picks her up, carrying her to the bathroom. He sets her on her feet and kisses her forehead again, before slowly pulling his shirt that she was wearing over her head. He bites his lips softly, watching her breasts spring free, he hums and turns her around, bending down and slowly pulling her panties off, marveling up at her beautiful body. I love you. He didn't say it out loud though. He turns the water on and checks the temperature before gently tapping her ass as if to push her along into the shower. She laughs again. "Thanks Az," she hums softly, stepping under the warm water. "But don't forget I'm still hungry," she adds, glancing back at him, the curtain only half closed.

His lips twitch as he looks at her hungrily, pulling his own pants and socks off so he could join her.

"I gotchu baby," he nods, stepping into the shower with her. "Cereal remember?" he mumbles and she scrunches her nose at him.

"Maybe we should just go out for breakfast Az," she laughs and shakes her head at him, he smirks down at her shrugging his shoulders. He uses a washcloth, squeezing soap over her and watching it run down her perfect little perky breasts. "You look so good," he whispers, his eyes finding hers again. It was getting easier... The intimacy, the eye contact. The more time they spent, the easier it seemed to get. Azriel picked her up again, and she squealed.

"Az, I swear if you drop me," she breaths out, he could feel her heart pounding, their chests pressed together.

"I would never butterfingers," he mumbles softly, pressing more kisses to her wet skin. "Im gonna fuck you now," he mumbles, pressing her body against the wall of the shower her back arches at the coolness of the tile and she moans softly. "Put it in baby," he grunts softly, his lips everywhere, needy and desperate. He would never be able to get enough of her. Her breathing was heavy as she reached between the two of them, her hands sliding between their slippery bodies, no space between them. She pulls at his cock and he lets out a small sigh of relief as he buries himself inside her, filling her all the way up.

"Oh," she gasps out, her head tilting back against the tiles, he holds her up, burying himself inside of her over and over again.

"Fuckkk," he moans into her ear, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate with each stroke. "You feel so good," he whispers into her ear, his voice husky and needy. She presses her bare chest against him, moaning again her release shaking through her whole body. Azriel groans softly at the feeling of her walls fighting around him before he spills himself inside her. They stayed like that for a while, water running over their faces, between their bodies, breaths heavy, chests heaving.

"How'd I get so lucky?" Azriel breaths out before gently setting her back down on her feet.

"You're not just lucky Az, you deserve this. Everyone deserves to be happy."

Azriel had been quiet since he picked me up from my house for out very first date as... A couple?

I could tell he was more nervous around me now. Like he was more careful, like he wanted to do everything perfectly for me. He would get flustered and shy any time he dared to say something that was sweet and out of character for him. It warmed me to my very bones.

"So this is your first real date?" Azriel asks, breaking the silence between us, his spliff hanging lazily from his lips. "Shot?" he asks after, offering me his flask, I take a small one before handing it back. We were in the parking lot at the cinema, Azriel had insisted that we had to pregame before going in.

"Thank you," I say and smile, our eyes meeting. "I mean technically yes it is, unless you count-"

"Count what?" he interrupts me, his expression shifting slightly. My cheeks burned as I recalled the night that I had shared with Lucien.

"I was just gonna say unless you count double dates," I add softly, his jaw flexes, and he looks away from me, staring forward out the windshield.

"Almost forgot about that tool," he mumbles, taking another long drag of the spliff, I watch him, pulling my lip between my teeth. Hes silently fuming, not looking at me, his jaw flexing and unflexing. "I should knock him out the next time I see him," Azriel shrugs, his eyes still trained on the windshield in front of him.

"I didnt actually fuck him Azriel... We just.." I trail off, remembering the night well. It hadn't been that long ago...

"Spare me the details," he mutters, shrugging his shoulders. "Lets go in," he opens his door, getting out of the car. I sigh softly, my eyes narrowing slightly at him.

"Must you always drink?" I ask quietly, watching as he finished off the flask and shoved it in his pocket.

"Not always," he shrugs and reaches his hand out for me, I give him a look but take his hand anyway.

"It's my first real date with someone that I love," it was the first time I voiced the word since that night I had been drunk on his chest months ago. I felt his hand tighten around mine, and he turned his head back, giving me a smile.

"Fuck you guys doing?" Azriel walks in to Rhys' and Cass' apartment, his hand in y/n's, pulling her behind him. She was nervous, he could tell. They were older than Azriel, which was mainly what she had been worried about, she had told him earlier that s he thought they would just think she was a baby. Azriel had assured her that they wouldn't care, though he knew they would comment on it later. Maybe even poke fun at him for it.

"Not a damn," Cass answers, his eyes landing on y/n, his brows raise as he surveys her, stopping at her hand tucked neatly away in Azriels, he had never seen that before. "Who's this?" he nods his head, beaming at her, she swallows, biting down softly on her lip.

"This is y/n," Azriel says casually. He hadn't spoken a word about her to them yet, he figured they would put it together, that this was the exact reason he had been behaving the way he was recently. "Y/n, meet my brothers, Rhys and Cass," Azriel points to both of them and she waves, smiling sheepishly as she takes in their appearance.

"Welcome y/n, I don't think we ever thought this day would come," Rhys chimes in finally, Cass begins snickering from his seat. "And this is your..." Rhys trails off, his eyes landing back on Azriel, Cass is grinning stupidly, expectantly in the corner waiting to see what Azriel was going to say, almost like a teen girl watching a reality show. This was new for both of them, Azriel had never brought a girl to meet them before, not since maybe middle school, but that didnt count.

"She's my baby," Azriel shrugs casually, his ears were hot, he knew they would poke relentless fun at him for ages.

"Your baby?" Rhys repeats, his tone laced with amusement, Cass is snickering again from his corner, a pause on the spliff he was rolling as he listened.

"He means to say his girlfriend," y/n chimes in, Azriel could tell she felt comfortable here, no more shyness in sight. Rhys and Cass were like that though, their vibe was just... Easy. All of their eyes snap to her and she smiles cheekily. "But hes absolutely petrified of the word," she tacks on, Azriel feels his cheeks burn and he shoots her a warning look. He'd get her back later. It wasn't that he was petrified of it... It was just that he couldn't get used to it.

"I like her Az, keep her," Cass is still chuckling to himself, marveling slightly. He never thought he'd see the day Az would bring home a girl.

"You two are embarrassing."

The pair were sitting on the beach, the warm summer air kissing their skin, the only sound was the ocean and the fair they had just come from off in the distance.

Azriel turned, admiring the way her hair ruffled in the breeze, in this moment, he didnt care about anything. Neither of them did. Azriel had decided not to move away, he was looking for a real job, hunting for an apartment that would be close enough to town that they could still be together... He knew there was still things to figure out, winning over her parents, that were nice enough but still looked down on him as if he would never be good enough for their daughter, the fact that she would eventually graduate, probably go off to college...

She wasnt worried though. She loved him enough to know that no matter what happened, or where they were... That nothing could break the bond they had built.

"Y/n, I love you," the words slipped out as Azriel gazed upon her, feeling so whole, so free yet so safe at the same time. He couldn't help himself. She deserved to know, anyway.

Her heart warmed, she turned toward him, leaning in, embracing the feel of his body against hers.

"I love you so much Azriel," she responds softly, their eyes fixed on one anothers. It was so easy now. For both of them.

"Thank you baby," he whispers softly, his throat bobbing. "Thank you for never giving up."

a/n: * not proof read yet, also im sorry its short don't hate me or kill me, i tried to warn y'all im trash at writing anything besides angst, i seriously struggled writing this because i feel like i forced it when I succk omg plus i feel like their story could have been over with the last part but i wanted to give you guys more you deserve all the fluff after everything we've been through. so here is your happy ending, i love you, stay tuned for what im working on next. <3

#acotar #azriel smut #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acotar fic #azriel spymaster #azriel fic #azriel fluff #azriel fan fiction

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wheresmymilliondollarman · 1 year

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aaron warner x ferrars! reader pt. 3

when omega point falls, you find yourself in need of the supreme commander's son, and discover unresolved feelings along the way.

(taken place during ignite me & hc continuation from part two)

that is literally me in this gif y'all🖤🖤

a/n: hello!! finally back with part 3. i'm sorry for the wait, i wanted to do other requests, but tbh i might focus on this little series so that way it's complete and everyone can read it all together. also idk why i even label it hcs anymore LMAOO like i feel it's progressed to a fic atp, but i'm too stubborn to change my format and titles, so humor me LOL. (maybe i'll turn this into a legit fic when i finish, who knows) pls do not kill me for not including every detail, i tried to highlight the best parts as much as i could. also might seem all sunshine rainbows rn with relationships, but just wait for the next book… 🤞 extra info: kinda change adam's character cus i feel like he was an extra ass at times for no reason in the book?? like trying to kill kenji for no reason?? small redemption arc. kinda slight change to juliette. also, i love making reader, juliette, and kenji a lil trio.

word count: 10.7k (im insane)

warnings: mentions of fights, blood, injuries, and death. use of military time (reader so me fr bc it took me so long to understand that shit), suggestive and matureish content.

the first thing on your mind, when you woke up, is that you had to be dead. if you opened your eyes, you would see the golden gates of heaven or the fiery pit of hell. based on how you lived your short life: you were thinking hell.

you realized you were alive and mostly well from the horrible aching from your body, the bandages wrapped around your chest, and the fact your current surrounding was a bedroom.

"hey, amor, take it easy." a voice said as you attempted to sit up.

by your side was aaron warner, sitting down on a stool next to the bed you laid on. he, uncharacteristically, looked disheveled, his clothes messy, and his eyes anxious.

your panic arose as you remembered events - fighting against the reestablishment, then getting caught, and then being shot in the chest by anderson. and then you recognized the room; it was aaron's bedroom - back at the base.

aaron notices your alarm and grabs your hands to calm you down. "it's alright you're safe here, i'm not gonna hurt you."

it may have been an idiotic move, but you believed his words.

"why are we here?"

"i had no choice. everyone believes your dead, and the base is the best place to keep you hidden."

"i don't understand...i'm not a medic by any means, but shouldn't i be dead?"

"you have sara and sonya to thank for that. they were able to save your heart from stopping before being dragged away by my father. then, i was able to take their energy as my own and heal the rest of you."

you were thankful for his aid in your life being saved, but you were too focused on many other worries to properly thank him. like the state of your friends.

you try your hand at getting up, trying to ignore the dizziness that comes with it. aaron holds you steady to stop you from falling.

aaron protests, "you need to res-" but you interrupt, "i need to go. i-i have to find everyone and help them."

"you can't."

you stop your movement and turn to aaron, "what do you mean? i know i'm in horrible shape, but i have to see juliette and everyone else could be in troubl-"

"it's over."

your face scrunches up in confusion, "what?"

aaron's silent for a few movements; you can't breathe. he looks down, his grip on you tightening, "they're dead. all of them."

you look at him in horror, your mouth open, but no words are released. your knees give out, and Aaron carries your full weight in his arms.

he slowly brings you both down to the ground next to the bed, still holding onto you. "i'm sorry, please believe me when i say that. if there was a way to spare you of this pain i would do it in a heartbeat."

you feel like a shell of yourself, you have no reaction, just an emotionless look on your face.

"what happened?" you say in a monotone voice.

"amor, i think you need to lay down or shower, then eat some-"

"what happened," you repeat with a harsher voice.

"they... overtook your friends, some were taken to be tortured, but most were.. shot dead."

"and omega point?"

"....destroyed. they got the coordinates and bombed the entire foundation."

you feel disconnected from reality; nothing feels real. everything is numb; you can't find it in yourself to let out any sort of emotion.

"so juliette, kenji, adam, james..."

aaron didn't need to answer for you to know. they're gone.

the first thing you did was laugh like a lunatic, aaron likely looked at you like you were mad. then finally, the tears came.

you yelled at aaron to get out, even though it was his room. in hysteria, you started levitating things and throwing them at him until he exited the room.

you don't know how long you spent sobbing on the floor next to the bed. you weren't even sure if you were going to stop.

your voice was sore from the number of times you wailed apologies to juliette for being a bad sister and for not being there to protect your friends.

when the tears finished, you reached denial. you knew your friends - there was no way they were dead. juliette was stronger than you, physically and sometimes mentally, so if you could survive a bullet to the chest, your sister could be alive.

when aaron comes back hours later to check on you, he didn't expect to see you walking around in new attire, packing clothes and items into a bag.

"what are you doing?"

"i have to go back."

aaron was taken aback by your statement, but you claimed there was a possibility there were people who survived. he countered saying he'd seen the damage and it wasn't likely. you didn't listen to him and continued preparing.

"this is unhealthy and possibly delusional thinking."

"well, then put me back in the asylum if i'm wrong. i'm going if you let me or not."

he sighs, and then gives in, not before insisting he comes along with you. now you were the one taken aback. was he actually offering to help you?

"why do you seem surprised? it's not as if i haven't made my care for you quite clear."

"no offense, but you're the most confusing man ever. i want to trust you, i've seen your good-natured side. you even claim to.. love me. but you work for the reestablishment, but then claim to be on my side. don't forget the fact you tried to turn juliette and i into weapons for the reestablishment, held us, hostage, at your base, and put us into a torture chamber. not exactly behavior that screams i want to help you."

at this he laughs then laughs harder and you get annoyed, not knowing what was funny. you were ready to kick him out again until he finally stooped.

"i suppose i owe you a long overdue explanation."

nothing prepared you for his next words. aaron began to retell the events from his perspective. starting with his true intentions of bringing you and juliette from the asylum - to study the both of you.

aaron explained his mother's condition, being unable to be touched - a reverse juliette basically. he sought out her at first, then discovered your existence and became intrigued more.

he invented the guise of using you both for weapons as a way for his father to agree to invest in you both.

as anderson mentioned before, juliette was of special interest because of her ability, and yours wasn't as impressive to him at the time. aaron had to convince the commander that your mind reading ability would be great for spy purposes.

once he brought the two of you to the base, he was ready to face 2 vicious and demented sisters, but it was literally the opposite of that. instead he got stuck with two stubborn and immature, you were offended at that, teenage girls.

"juliette was more of the hard-headed one, you mostly just followed along, i figured that out after the dinner and dress stunt. however, i can't say feeding you myself wasn't pleasurable for myself."

aaron saw your fear of your own ability and had intentions to help you and juliette, in his own way.

his tried various ways to unlock your potential - with juliette he tried anger and bullying and with you he knew you couldn't suppress hearing thoughts, so he figured spending time with you was the best option. but he came to understand how much he loved being around you.

"i was so addicted to being around you, i got sidetracked. but then my worry grew when you both showed no progress on enhancing your ability, so as a last resort, i arranged an experiment."

to your surprise, he revealed it was actually a simulation which was a major relief to you that no one was actually harmed by your powers, well, no one besides warner. but he partly deserved it for putting you through that.

although you were mad he implanted that fear into you, you had to admit. it did work.

"so, instead of finding some way to inform me earlier of all this, you make my sister and i think of you as some supervillain who wanted control of our autonomy." you grab the nearest pillow and launch it at him. "you're an idiot! we were scared out of our minds! juliette and i's last conversation was a fight over that! do you know much much time you could- are you seriously smiling?"

"god, i love it when you yell at me."

now that the ait was clear, you were able to put more of your faith into aaron and his intentions. and not feel bad about kissing him.

the two of you worked together on a plan to get you back to what was left of omega point.

you met an older gentleman by the name of delalieu. he was very sweet, but it got a little vexing every time he jumped to warner's defense whenever you made a remark; even ones said in levity.

a few days later, when aaron deemed it safer, you both set off to leave. although you had the misfortune of having to be stuffed into a cart to avoid being spotted. at least it was better than the body bag you were transported in the first time.

the two of you transported to what was left of omega point in a tank. aaron notably was able to drive to the location with ease. you grew suspicious because one - he told his father he didn't know how to get there and two - he was unconscious the whole time you, juliette, kenji, and adam drove there. you decide to question him on the matter.

"i wasn't completely unconscious on the trip there. i was very conscious when you were touching my hair and tracing my features."

"i knew it! you little faker, you intentionally pushed yourself onto me didn't you!"

when you both arrived, the scene was as horrible as you imagined. - rubbles and dust everywhere and a huge gaping hole miles down. you felt sick thinking about everyone who stayed behind, including james. god, you hoped at least your friends were alright.

you were suddenly tackled to the ground by warner, and the sound of a gunshot followed after. a voice yelled out, and you immediately recognized it - kenji.

you got up instantly and ran to him, attacking him with a gigantic hug, tears brimming at your eyes.

"oh my god, i thought you were dead!"

"i thought you were dead!"

"you almost killed me right now when you shot at us like a lunatic!"

"sorry, i was aiming for warner- where'd he go?"

you change subject, "juliette? is she alright?"

kenji confirms she is alive, and you felt like you could breathe again. you needed to see her as soon as possible.

kenji started looking for warner like a madman, and you, too, were curious about his whereabouts - until he startled you by "showing" up behind you. he had turned himself invisible.

he was ready to take you both back before kenji shot him, but you declined to say you had to see juliette and anyone else that survived. aaron was reluctant but then handed you a pager, not that you knew what it was, and gave you a limit of four hours. you thought it to be ridiculous, but you compromised to ease his worries.

you and kenji ventured back to adam's house, your first time being there since you were unable to the first time around. he, heart-achingly, filled you in on the events, how they searched for you, how many were lost, and who remained. you told your side of the action, including everything with aaron.

kenji did have some judgemental comments, but you understood he was reeling from the shock of everything, especially from the details regarding aaron.

you bite your tongue when kenjii speaks ill of warner. defending him would only make you look naive, plus you couldn't deny the others had their reasoning for disliking the guy. you would end up sounding like delalieu.

"so what, you like the guy now? god, don't tell me your gullible enough to fall for it just because he's the first guy to show interest in you."

his words cut deep into you, but you don't respond and change the subject back to getting to the house. you didn't want to argue after being so happy kenji is alive. but damn did you want to give him a shove with your powers.

your spirits lifted as soon as you reached the destination. you pull kenji to the front door and urge him to open it. he knocks and confirms his identity before it's opened by winston, who was shocked to see you.

you greeted him quickly, feeling bad, but your main focus was your sister. next you see alia, castle, brendan, lily and alia. (all frozen to their spots as soon as they noticed you). when you see james you give him a tight hug, thankful for his well-being.

adam and juliette walked out of the kitchen engaged in conversation, not noticing you at first. then kenji drew their attention with a cough.

both of you were paralyzed at first; you were the first to break and jump at her with tears and an overbearing hug. she was quick to return it, then the both of you started crying in relief to see each other after thinking the other was dead.

"i'm so sorry for how we ended things, you had a right to be upset and i was a bad sister for not taking your feelings into account. "

"no, i'm the one who overreacted. i should've came with you the moment you told me you felt something was wrong."

"okay we get it elsa and anna; you're both very happy to see each other. please, no more tears."

you both pulled away, laughing softly at your dramatics. you turned and gave adam a much quicker hug, him happy to see you breathing.

with greeting out of the way, everyone's attention was turned back to you, particularly how you survived. you took a deep breath, and retold everything you told kenji, leaving out intimate details about aaron and you. everyone reacted similarly to the way kenji had.

the room then filled with different questions and thoughts, all voices one another, reminding you of listening to different people's thoughts at the same time. they all started assuming the worst in warner, and this time you did defend him - but it only made you look guilty.

the subject turned over to what was the next plan of action. castle was out of it, so he provided no help. adam was the first to protest any sort of fight, his concern for james overshadowing. juliette was on the fence about it for adam's sake, but you knew she wanted to fight against the reestablishment like everyone else, if not more. especially after all they had put the two of you through.

the conversation barely got past arguments before the front door was suddenly brought down. everyone, besides you, held up weapons to attack the intruder - you held up your hands, ready to use your power if necessary. but then you recognized the intruder quickly - aaron.

you ran over in front of him and advised everyone to stand down, but they didn't listen, they were too focused on the fact aaron had arrived.

you readied yourself to lower their weapons yourself, but then aaron made a move of his own and flung all the guns across the room with levitation.

"i was gonna do that.." you mumbled quietly to yourself.

"apologies, amor, i'll let you get them next time."

everyone else was stunned, you explained aaron's gift, but it was still a shock to see. a few banters are exchanged, but aaron, uncaring as ever, ignores them and proceeds to grab your arm so the two of you can leave. however, you stop him, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

you informed everyone that aaron was on your side, and they were understandably doubtful to believe it, but as they noticed how he acted with you, it became more believable.

you took the chance to try to persuade everyone to stand up again against the rebellion. juliette and kenji were the first to side with you, and slowly everyone followed along, adam and ian being the ones more reluctant. you could respect adam for thinking of james and juliette, and ian was just an asshole, but he was also mourning. in a turn of events, castle chimed in with his support.

aaron, not thrilled about the new members of your alliance, announced the two of you would be leaving. juliette protested, not wanting to be away from you after she just got you back.

part of you longed to lay on the comfortable bed back at the base, but you needed to stay with your team. so, you made an agreement aaron could return for you the next day.

"so i'll come back for you tomorrow? thirteen hundred hours."

"thirteen hundred hours? like from now?"

"it means one o'clock."

"... one o'clock is not thirteen hundred hours from now."

aaron was holding back a laugh, juliette was just as confused, and kenji physically facepalmed.

aaron eventually left after you reassured him you'd be fine. ian was of no help as he kept insulating it was better if you left. adam stormed off not long after, juliette following to calm him. she returned looking dejected and assumed she and adam fought. kenji suggested the three of you go out for a walk, although it was late.

during the night stroll, all three of you got emotions off your chest. kenji's feelings about the whole situation, juliette's issues with adam (they were still technically broken up) , and your turmoil with warner. kenji was somewhat holding back, but you knew he was just trying to hold up a strong facade.

as you disclosed your confusion and feelings, kenji had many questions, from disbelief, and juliette mainly just patiently listened and remained silent.

"so you like the guy, for what his personality? totally has nothing to do with his looks?

"hey, i'm not shallow! ...aaron just happens to be gifted with excellent looks."

"hearing you call him aaron is so weird. and i'm not judging you if you did. seeing adam shirtless is probably what drew juliette to him at the start."

"hey!"

the light banter made the solemn conversation easier to talk through. it was nice to be always from everything for a bit, and just act like friends.

you three returned back, kenji walked to the door first, and juliette grabbed your wrist to stop you from following him.

"i just want to talk to you alone real quick. about warner,.. or aaron, whatever you call him."

you held your breath, partly ready for her to possibly start another argument.

"i know you're confused about what you feel for him still, but i need you to know if you decide you love him - i'll support you. i don't want it to get in the way our bond. after everything that's happened... i realized there no time to waste on petty little things, especially about guys. all that should matter is we're always here for each other."

you give each other another heartfelt and tearful hug; glad kenji wasn't there to comment on how sappy and emotional it is.

"so, just between us sisters, do you think you love him?"

you laugh, and open the truth of your heart of her.

back inside, you all prepared for him or, as aaron called it a "slumber party." wasn't too far off since everyone besides james, adam, and castle slept on the ground.

your place was between kenji and juliette, each of you having your own pillow and blanket. winston and brendan bantered a bit about kicking faces before the turns finally went out.

"kenji, i know it will be incredibly hard, but keep your hands to yourself."

"you wish. you should be telling your sister that, she's basically all over me every night."

"shut up."

the next day brought a lot of drama. the day started off late, leaving little time to discuss before aaron arrived. another fight between adam and juliette set off. the issue being that aaron was coming back, which adam was completely against. he had been fine with your stay, but he wouldn't compromise for letting him return. adam gave an ultimatum, if you brought warner he would essentially kick you out.

juliette went to your defense and partly aaron's for your benefit. this only set off adam more. kenji tried his hand at intervening but only got backlash from adam, who stormed off outside after. everyone else stayed quiet, but you could tell one or two silently agreed with adam.

you didn't wanna stir any more trouble than needed, so you started preparing yourself to go, clicking the little mechanism aaron gave you a couple times to ensure it worked.

brendan, winston, castle, lily insisted you stay as well. james also gave a small plead for you to remain. juliette believed she could still talk some sense into adam.

it felt great to have their support, but at the same time, you felt bad for having to divide everyone into teams, yours or adam's. instead of building a team, you were tearing one apart.

before you knew it, the newly fixed door was again slammed open by the same intruder from the day before. aaron barged in, almost of breath and distressed. you thought something happened to him because of how disarranged he looked.

he locked his gaze on you and speedily grabbed you in his arms, cupping your face and scanning you up and down for any injuries. you were a bit embarrassed as everyone was a witness to aaron fussing over your well-being.

"did you run here?"

"of course, you beeped the pager."

you assured him you were alright and turned back to everyone with faces of incredulity.

"woah, this is... freaky." winston began.

"i worked for this guy for more than a year and never even saw him smile."

you explained to aaron that you couldn't stay at the house any longer but couldn't leave everyone else either. he offers to have them stay in the training area, but kenji declines, needing a better offer. juliette sides with kenji, the rest don't fully trust warner, so they need reassurance.

you couldn't bare the thought of leaving everyone again, so you pleaded to aaron to give in to their demands, willing to compromise whatever. you were happy and a little shocked, along with everyone else, when he accepted the terms.

"i'll return tomorrow at fourteen hundred ho-" he sees your confused face again, "2 o'clock. i really must educate you on military time, amor"

"or you could just say the time on a clock like the average person."

aaron takes your hand and guides you back to the tank to make your way back to the base before anyone notes his disappearance.

you express your gratitude for his help, and he responds by saying there's not need, he would do whatever to ease your pain. he also partly owed it to you for being so dismissive when you believed your friends were alive.

"i know they all judge you right now, and maybe they always will. but, i do believe you're a good person, and sure, you have flaws, but who doesn't - i am certainly no saint. i don't want to fix you...just want to make you see yourself in a better light like i do." your final words before falling into a slumber against the window.

you return back to the base the way you came in with delalieu's help. your both back in aaron's room, not having said a word to each other since the tank. aaron's started to ask questions about what had happened back at adam's house. you briefly told him about the drama about adam not wanting you there if you were with warner.

aaron became upset, not liking how adam treated you, and reassured you he would harm him if you wanted him to. you quickly assure him that you didn't care about it, you weren't going to beg to stay where you weren't wanted. you were mostly concerned about what it had done to whatever relationship was left between juliette and adam. she obviously loved him, but she couldn't hold herself back for him either.

you go silent at the mention of juliette, remembering your last private conversation. aaron, being able to easily feel your emotions, pick up and it and presses for information.

"it's just.. she asked me if i loved you."

aaron's breath hitches, "what was your response."

"i told her, 'love is a strong word. i'm not even sure i fully understand it. but i think...no i know. i'm falling for him.' "

aaron didn't respond, he got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him. you weren't sure what it meant. and you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

you couldn't sleep that night; your mind was doing circles in anticipation of the group's arrival tomorrow.

you got up with the intention of solely getting a glass of water, but then heard a loud noise come from the direction aaron's office.

wanting to make sure he was okay, you walked in without notice. the door was already halfway open, so you figured it was alright.

the room was bigger than your childhood home's living room; it was filled with different seats of furniture, books, shelf, etc. aaron was at his large desk - his shirt discarded and only wearing slacks and socks.

aaron's brushes you off, telling you to go to bed, but your focus is on a small jar in his hands. you ask what it is, but he avoids answering, so you grab the object yourself. he attempts to get it from you, but you move away - deja vu to when aaron wouldn't return your journal to you. it felt nice to be on the flip side of it for once.

you read the label and understood it was a medicine. then it clicked; it was for his scars. and he was embarrassed about it. it was kind of cute.

he confirms it's for his back, so you nicely offer to do it for him since he seemed to have trouble reaching it. he was obviously self-conscious no matter how much he denied it, and you told him it didn't matter; you'd already seen them. but he kept turning his back away from you. you were getting suspicious that the scars were only part of the reason he was hiding.

you got annoyed and impulsively used your power to keep him sat and finally make his back face you. you could apologize later.

then you saw it. yes, his scars were still there, but on top of that were your wonky star doodles. the ones you drew in his cells two weeks ago in his cell at omega point.

you were confused about how they were still there, darker than you remember. the pen you used was lousy; you would know since you used it to write and the ink always smudged. the pen ink was also blue, and this was black. the skin around it was also freshly red.

"wait.. is this tattooed?"

his silence confirmed it. you were speechless. he tattooed your silly little doodles. he needed the medicine to numb the pain of the ink.

"why would you do this?"

"figured it your mark was better than the ones my dad left me."

"aaron."

"it was the first time i looked at my back and smiled."

you think your heart burst on the spot.

"god, i would've made them better if i knew you were gonna mark it."

"they're perfect." god, you were ready to melt.

you compose yourself and insist you put on the medicine since it was your tattoo design that's causing him slight pain. he didn't protest this time. you applied it in silence, then worked up the courage to ask about his scars.

aaron was very hesitant, you were ready to be shut down, but then he opened up to you. his scars being a 'birthday gift' from his father. it was heartbreaking to hear and almost brought tears to your eyes, but you knew pity was the last thing he wanted.

"when you saw them back in my cell, i waited to see that look of repulse on your face, but it never came. you observed them so carefully like they were the most interesting thing to you. then you had the gall to say it was similar to abstract art."

"well, it's true. they're not ugly, and you're certainly not repulsive. the scars are like a show of strength for everything you've been through. they're yours; only you decide what they represent. anyone who thinks differently is a total loser."

"please, stop."

"i'm sorry, did i say something wr-"

"i love you. so much that the first thing i did when returning here after escaping omega point was getting delalieu to tattoo my skin because your marks faded. i didn't even let myself wash off in fear they'd disappear before i got a chance to preserve them. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face whenever i looked at it through a mirror. it always reminded me of you. our moments. our last kiss. i burn for you greatly, and you don't even realize it."

"aaron..."

"don't."

"you know how i feel. but i'm still figuring it out, this is all new to me, and i want to get to know you better-"

"please. just go." and you did.

the following day, right on schedule, aaron goes to pick up the group while you stay behind waiting in the training facility that he briefly gave you a tour of.

the group arrived, and you happily greeted them as they looked around the place in awe. aaron began to go over rules and boundaries for the group. after the previous night, you were unsure about where you stood with warner, so you decided to give him some space and stand with the rest of the group. as he spoke, he threw not-so subtle glances your way, making you confused about whether he was upset with you or not.

aaron ventured off, everyone was setting up their items, and you separated with kenji and juliette. they book had look more distressed upon their arrival. apparently, juliette took one last chance to try and convince adam to come along, he didn't budge, saying he had to protect james and encouraged juliette to stay as well. it resulted in an argument; eventually, he respected her decision to fight - but it would mean the end for them. you comforted your sister through her heartbreak, adam had been a big part of her life, even a bit of yours. so to say goodbye must've been hard for her.

kenji also tried to persuade adam, but it escalated, and the two started throwing harsh words at each other. you knew adam was his friends, whether they both acknowledged it or not, and after omega point, you were sure kenji didn't want to lose anyone else. leaving james behind made it worse.

the direction of conversation then turned to you, and you were originally going to deny any conflict, but kenji and juliette picked up on the tension between you and aaron.

juliette starts, "so, what happened with warner?"

"don't know what you mean."

kenji and juliette give each other a mutual glance, " we aren't blind; the guy kept looking at you as if you'd killed his puppy. like seriously, there could've been a rain cloud over him with how much he was sulking."

you opened up to the happenings of last night, leaving out too personal information about warner, and how you weren't sure what to do now. kenji lost his mind at the bit about the tattoo, this new side of warner still weirding him out.

"i thought you were into him?"

"i mean, i am. it's just all so confusing. i'm not trying to string him along, i just want to truly know him before i could want more with him. it feels like he knows every single thing about me, while i'm barely starting to paint a picture. or maybe he only thinks he loves me or he's only interested in me because of my gift."

"dude, everything he has done for us so far is all because of you. what kind of guy tattoo's a stupid drawing someone drew on their back? and i swear he gets cartoon heart eyes when he looks at you too long. i know i called you naive for believing it, but that was before i saw first hand how intimate his feelings are for you."

"he's right, y/n. think about if he only cared about your gift, he would've been treating us the same, after all, he brought both of us in. sure, he acts decent towards me, but i'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact we're sisters. you don't play nice with someone's family unless you really like them."

you were silent as you absorbed both their perspectives.

kenji sighs, "damn, i need a love life."

"interested in someone else."

"technically single, but i'd choose the asylum over you."

"i'm starting to miss when you both were meek and quiet."

after that friendly therapy session, you regained your focus on the important task, formulating a plan to overtake anderson. you had a few ideas, some you talked about with aaron, but a seventeen-year-old girl can only do so much on her own, so that's why you bring in your sister, who is also seventeen. as the two of you went through essentially the same trauma, she had as much right to be a big part of this as you.

aaron came back hours later, and everyone gathered around and took a seat somewhere. to your surprise, aaron sat down right the to you. the tension is so much worse side by side. knowing aaron could read what you felt didn't make it better.

you began to illustrate the details of the plan, juliette helping fill in and explain points. the goal is to get anderson to sector 45; to do that, you had to take over sector 45. getting people and soldiers to rebel was going to be the trickiest part, and much of the group wasn't on board that it could work.

"we're going to have to show them our strengths, i'll help them see our strength." you explain.

"and if they shoot us?" ian counters..

juliette shrugs, "then don't do it, i'm sure my sister and i are capable of being amazing by ourselves."

"real humble , j."

brendan speaks up, "so, we've got somewhat of a synopsis of juliette's gift, but, no offense y/n, what is it you can do besides read minds?"

it was true; almost everyone wasn't aware of other capabilities you possessed. you didn't like to divulge your gift much back at omega point, kenji, juliette, and castle knowing the most. unlike juliette, who had many different events where she showed her amazing strength, and you were sure they saw more when she practiced at adam's house while you were separated.

you briefly revealed more about your powers, mind-reading, telekinesis, and your ongoing training in telepathic defense. you admitted to losing control a few times as well. the group looked more amazed as you went on.

"prove it."

"yeah, c'mon dude, show us."

everyone else started egging you on to make a show of your powers; you even saw aaron look interested in wanting to see it. you gave in, and asked aaron for permission to throw some objects around, he nodded.

you started levitating different objects and throwing a few around. kenji started begging for you to lift him, so you did - then winston and brendan kept begging to go next. you showcased a small shield of energy you were able to produce. lastly, they wanted to see your telepathic projection, but you explained it would involve harming one of them, so you shut it down.

"so like, you can do all that too right? since you can steal powers?" winston questions warner.

"yes, if i wanted to i could take hers, or any of your powers and use it."

you cough into your hand, "no one's better than the original, though."

"so the two of you together can basically can..."

"take over the world?"

"...was going to say kick serious ass, but you're not wrong."

warner doesn't respond, but you can see him holding back a smile.

the thought of warner taking powers was eerie to the group, but you reassured them of your faith and trust in aaron. then the conversation redirects to the plan. castle questions of what is supposed to happen if you do win, such as who is going to lead.

"i will." juliette pulls you by the arm next to her, "and y/n will help me."

the room falls silent. even warner is still. your head snaps to your sister, that was not a topic the two of you discussed. nor did you know it was up for discussion. you, of course, didn't express your surprise, you couldn't show doubt when this whole meeting relied on trust. juliette's speech on the new world motivated everyone to follow through with the battle plan, you silently supported it, but in your mind, you didn't think it was the best idea for you both to lead a whole country. you think juliette forgets just how young and inexperienced you both are.

but you were sure this was a problem that could be mended later, right?

aaron and you were alone in his room again, the silence so deafening, you mentally cringed. you attempted to start the conversation on his thoughts about the plan, but he began to brush you off. frustrated, you call him out on his recent behavior.

"why is it all or nothing with you? i didn't reject you- all i said was i want to know you better, i saw you in a bad light for a good while. i want to see the positive just as much."

"or maybe you're just expecting too much from me."

"why are you being so stubborn!"

"because you being disgusted with what you learn, would end me."

he walked out after, a common occurrence, it seemed, these past days.

you vented all your frustrations into training the next day. you told yourself you wouldn't focus on warner, no matter how good he looked in sweatpants, and instead use your pent-up energy to master your powers.

it paid off well; you got closer to creating a shield. but maybe a little too well, since you accidentally launched kenji across the room with your energy force. he got you back off, turning invisible and tripping you. juliette concentrated on moving her dumbbell with the force of will, but she struggled. reminded you a lot of your training at omega point. you offered her tips on what worked for you, and kenji coached.

at some point, you went to the back to drink from your water bottle, unintentionally near where warner was bench pressing. then suddenly you heard someone yell 'get down'. it all happened in a flash, you turned around a bit late, and the rock wall behind you came crumbling down at you. you quickly attempted to lift your hands, levitate most of the impact and braced yourself. suddenly, instead of your body colliding with dozen of sharp rocks, you were surrounded in bubbles. you turned the rumble into fucking bubbles.

you stood mouth wide open in shock for a minute, the people around you just as amazed. aaron was the first to run to you, asking if you were alright, and you nodded, still a bit shocked. he expressed his astoundment at your newfound skill.

juliette then came up to you and profusely apologized, and you assured her you were okay and accidents happen.

"i can't count how many times i almost knocked out castle with things during my training. you'll get the hang of it. plus, i'm sure aaron had trouble learning to control power too."

"oh, no. though i've always been very good at everything i do."

you smack his chest, "you are seriously no help."

you continue to train very hard for the rest of the week, your muscle will likely permanently ache in pain.

you and aaron hadn't gotten much better, you really did try to reach out so many times, but if he wasn't going to cooperate, why waste energy.

he made a habit of intentionally putting his focus on things around the base and working late, so he wouldn't see you until you were already asleep.

if things ended badly between you two, i'd be because of his own stupidity, not for your lack of trying nor the judgment of his character.

other than that, all was well. until kenjii decided to casually drop a bomb that adam and james were coming to the base. juliette started freaking out, and you weren't sure where you and adam stood, but you were excited to see james again.

adam arrived, and tensions between the ex-couple were high. they both were cordial but weren't sure how to act around one another. adam went up and apologized to you for his treatment, and you accepted it because he was once your friend, and you hated grudges. james excitedly greeted you, and you gave him a small tour.

then aaron showed up, ignoring adam, but he and james went back in forth in exchanges. it was very entertaining to watch, and aaron pointed out your enjoyment.

"why do you call her amor?"

"it means love in spanish."

"so, do you love her?"

"why, do you?"

"n-no! she's really pretty- i mean, i like her...no, ugh, she's like a million years older than me!"

"hey! i'm not prehistoric!"

you cut the exchange short, grabbing james on the shoulders and dragging him away, "how about we go back t kenji while i explain to you age numbers..."

you and juliette got upgrades in suits. yours similar to your former, but with minor changes. your color was now a darker red with accents of black, your coat was now high to low with slides for the sides of your legs to show, new knee-high combat coots, and new long fingerless gloves. yours and juliette's new material was made to accommodate your powers.

for training, you watched juliette and kenji go back in forth in combat - kenji mostly won due to technique, but juliette overpowered him a few times.

aaron came up to you, and insisted the two of you train in combat together. you rejected his offer; combat was not your forte, you were repeatedly told by kenji many times. so you just stuck to using your powers. but aaron wouldn't back off.

"it's important to learn combat, amor."

"if i run into a bad guy i'll just fling him away."

"and when you can't use your powers, what happens?"

you were going to argue that wouldn't happen, but knew it wouldn't suffice for him, so you just gave in, so he would shut up.

it was no shocker that he easily blocked your punches and stopped any attack. he even had the audacity to be amused at how badly you were doing.

"wow, you are quite terrible."

"okay, i get it i suck. can i go back to my training?"

"c'mon, amor, don't give up so easily. punch me."

as much as you were annoyed, you didn't want to physically hurt him. aaron laughed when you told him that. that itself, ticked you off. and it did not help that now you had an audience invested in the interaction.

you still didn't relent, aaron was a bit disappointed, but he focused on fixing your form.

you don't know if it was the fact aaron laughed, his constant comments, or all your pent-up frustration, but something came over you. while aaron was distracted with giving walking you through hitting an opponent, you hit him - hard. you might've used some of your powers to make the hit stronger, but he didn't need to know that.

aaron staggered back, shockingly caught off guard. you honestly expected him to block it like your other ones; but no you managed to land a hit on his cheekbone area, hitting some of the side of his nose. your poor form made for your knuckles to hurt badly.

everyone stopped what they were doing; even you froze. kenji in the back, trying not to laugh. aaron then recovered, his land touching the side of his face. his face didn't show anger, pain, nor surprise - he was smiling in admiration.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!"

"no, don't apologize, amor. i'm very content being the first to experience your strength firsthand."

you and aaron ended up cutting practice short and went to the infirmary. you helped treat the large bruise on his face you'd given him as a small apology, and he wrapped your sprained knuckles and partly chasted you for incorrect hand form. was he looking to get punched again?

the following day, aaron woke you up earlier than your normal routine. he mentioned an opportunity for you and juliette to finally get practice outside of the base, and you quickly agreed. you asked why so suddenly, and then he disclosed he was going to visit his mother. it was her birthday, he explained. he didn't say much after that and went over that kenji will keep you and juliette invisible after he leaves.

but you couldn't help your curiosity and asked a little about his mother. hearing the story of his ring broke your heart. the only gifts you got were when you and juliette exchanged homemade gifts for your shared birthday, but the story made you appreciate that tradition much more.

"i think it's good you still visit her."

"is it?"

"it is. knowing you have someone there is sometimes enough. whenever i remembered i had my sister with me, it made the asylum not completely terrible. and around you, i feel like i achieve anything."

juliette, kenji, and you, invisible, met with warner at his tank. you didn't even need to tell him of your presence before he helped you into the tank and got on the driver side to start it.

"how'd you..." you ask, confused.

"i can sense your presences. especially yours."

"woah, freaky. what's mine feel like? peanut better?" he got ignored.

you settled on the opposite window side, juliette next to you, and kenji next to aaron. kenji started shuffling around, uncomfortable.

"dude, y/n, switch seats with me."

"what why?"

"your boyfriend is touching my leg."

"you flatter yourself." aaron interjects.

"c'mon hurry up! i think he's about to knife me..."

"just switch with juliette. it's easier."

"no way, if i'm gonna move, i might as well get the window seat."

you roll your eyes (not that he can see), and the two of you begin a messy movement of bodies to switch seats. poor juliette, stuck in the middle, getting hit by an occasional limb.

"ow, you just hit me in the face-" juliette complains.

"sorry, i'm trying my best-"

"now you just hit me!" you exclaim.

"oh my god, let me just-"

"kenji!"

kenji was the first to get to his new seat, you were situated over both him and juliette. kenji, tired of your leg in his face, shoved you with brief warning. and in an attempt to stable yourself you put your hands out on aaron's lap, but one hand missed. and landed on his groin. aaron visibly flinched and put his lips together in a straight line to contain his painful expression.

you gasped and hastily moved your hands in a panic, then to make matters worse - you fell face first in his lap. you were so happy to be invisible at the moment.

aaron takes a sharp intake of air, and his knuckles turn white from how tight he grips the wheel. you scramble you sit correctly, accidentally putting a hand on his groin again before finally in the seat. the silence was deafening.

aaron promptly dropped you both off at an empty site and bid you goodbye. you gave him some last words for comfort that you noticed he appreciated. then he went off.

sometime later, it was time for the four of you to meet up again. the practice had been somewhat successful. there were many miscalculations with practicing and being invisible. the three of you kept stumbling into each other, having the wrong place meant, and arguing over who was right. but ignoring that, you did get some practice in there.

aaron, however, was unusually late. it worried you. kenji and juliette didn't think much of it. but since you knew his location, you sensed there was something wrong. you asked both of them to check on him to ensure he was already, and you three walked to the house. you avoided mentioning aaron's mother.

you asked juliette and kenji to wait outside as you went inside.knji begrudgingly agreed, ensuring he could keep the invisibility up inside, too. juliette bid you to be careful and return as soon as possible.

you saw a few different pictures of aaron with his mother as a child. you looked through different rooms until you found him. he was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, his frame trembling. his mother died; you put together. you quickly knelt down and gave him a hug that he accepted. you let him hold you tightly as he sobs sorrowfully. it was painful to witness, so you let him cry onto your shoulder for however long he needed.

an hour later you returned, kenji and juliette already in the tank, no invisibility. you didn't need for them to say anything to know they had questions, so you avoided their gaze. next to you, aaron held your hand the whole way back

his mother's death reminded you of his family, the unknown fact to him that he shares blood with adam and james. you wanted him to know, but truly, you didn't want any part of that mess. knowing was already knawing at you as it was. juliette disagreed; she thought adam needed to tell aaron.

you thought leaving aaron alone was the best decision. you even planned to spend the night where everyone else was. but as you were packing a bag, he stopped you. aaron grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.

"you're right. i am holding back. i was telling you how much you were in denial, but it was me who was holding back. you've always seen me in a light like no one has. i've never thought of myself as even a decent man until you came around. and it scares me. so much. i'm afraid of disappointing you, and you'll be disgusted with me, see the monster i see every day in the mirror. but if giving more of myself is all it takes to be yours, then it's done. you can learn every crevice of my soul if it means you'll stay with me."

you knew it then, "i love you." you are in love.

he grabs your face and kisses you in less than a second. the kiss being so loving and careful, he takes his time memorizing your lips. he lifts you in the air prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. from there, the kiss molds into passion and need. before you know it, you're both lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

aaron groans into your mouth, "say it again."

you softly giggle, "i love you."

"god, you have no idea what you just unleashed, amor."

your stomach is doing a million glips. your entire body is in frenzy. you're ready to have a heart attack there and then. it was only just the beginning as well.

"lift your hips for me, amor."

"c'mon, angel, don't get shy on me now."

"i'm afraid you're never getting rid of me now mi amor."

very long night.

you slept through most of the morning, only woken up by aaron laying kissing down your neck. then he started going lower down your body. any sleep you had was now gone.

"aaron.. what are you doing."

"nothing."

"liar."

"shhh.. you just lay there, i'm just going to enjoy my breakfast."

the man was insaitable; you were sure you weren't ever gonna get out of bed that day. but eventually, you did. had to dedicate half an hour to walking properly again.

you went to you rfinal fitting for suits, and the new look was incredible. juliette traded the purple for a new black suit - kenji not liking his color stolen.

"why am i the only one in color now?"

"so, you can get spotted and shot at first while the rest of us get away." kenji answers.

"you're the worst."

aaron walked up behind you and whispered in your ear, "how quickly can you take this off?"

you smack his chest and give a playful disapproving look.

"i mean, it definitely can stay on, too."

"aaron!"

the bliss of everything helped ease your nerves for the following day. you were sat in aaron's room going over the plan for the millionth time. aaron kept reassuring you you'd be perfect and worrying will do nothing but install fear.

"it's just... what if it backfires. what if no one listens or surrenders?"

"it wont and they will."

"you're right. i'll just tell them my scary boyfriend will come after them."

"for you? always." he kisses your cheek, "i like the sound of you saying boyfriend, but scary?"

"well, everyone besides me is pretty scared of you."

"and what about you, what do you think of me?"

"i think you're cute."

"cute? yeah, let me show you just how cute, i can be."

aaron can never take his off of you for too long.

the next day, you, juliette, and the others stood in front of sector 45. both the people and the soldiers gathered there, all of their eyes fixed on your group. it was like the world's largest show and tell.

aaron started it off with a speech, informing everyone of the truth and the fact you and juliette were alive and well. then your sister took over, and directly told the crowd the plan to destroy the reestablishment, you gave a few words of your own, but juliette did most of the talking much to your relief.

then the questions from the crowd starting, so it was time for the group to showcase their powers. finally it was down to juliette and you.

juliette climbed to a building s good hundred feet from the ground, then jumped off and landed - making the ground tremble and shatter beneath her.

"how the hell do i top that?" you whisper to yourself.

with a comforting look from aaron, and a deep breath, you stepped into the front. you looked for a fairly easy but impressive thing to lift and spotted a very tall tower. bingo.

using your ability, you began carefully levitating it above the ground. you closed your hand into a fist, and the tower began breaking into bits. people began to panic as the rubble started coming toward them, but suddenly, you transformed the pieces into butterflies flying around the people. everyone looking around in amazement.

you took the biggest deep breath once you were done. very happy your practice paid off, and you didn't accidentally end up killing a crowd.

the crowd cheered and roared. the presentation proved to be successful because they got on board with destroying the reestablishment. the soldiers surrendered and joined the rebellion.

back in the training room, everyone was overjoyed with the success of overtaking sector 45, but now came the hardest part. winning a war.

juliette ran straight to you, attacking you in a very strong hug. so strong you had to tell her to chill on the power a bit. she apologized and released you. the recent events were still reeling in your mind, not fully comprehended.

"oh my god, juliette what did we just do?"

"we just started a war my dearest sister."

and now you had to wait to face anderson in likely a day or two. he almost killed you last time. but you wouldn't let him get lucky again.

the group, minus aaron, sat in the training room discussing what was next. one talk to another led to the topic of anderson.

"i've never even met the guy. wonder what he's like?"

"he's handsome. it's actually insane how evil, but striking he is." you blurt out.

juliette agrees, but the group looks at you weirdly.

"dude, you just called your boyfriend's dad attractive."

"what? i don't mean it in a weird way."

"hey, at least you've got a backup option if the first anderson doesn't work out. "

you throw a pillow at kenji's head.

then the topic of anderson's name came about, and that's when the trouble began. adam answered his name was paris; but suddenly, aaron arrived in the room, overhearing the conversation.

aaron put him against the wall, interrogated him on how he knew, and adam not saying anything. you couldn't take it anymore, so you yelled out the truth.

"he's your bother!"

aaron didn't believe it. juliette kept pressuring adam until he finally confessed. everyone gave the two of them space to work things out as everyone else busied themselves. when all was on steady terms, aaron sat with you.

"you should've told me."

"i know, i'm sorry. but it really wasn't my secret to tell."

"i had a right to know."

"c'mon, if you had some sort of family secret of mine, would you tell me right away?"

he hesitates, "you're right. you didn't want to get involved, i understand that."

you tell yourself it didn't matter, but you couldn't help but ask, did he deliberately avoid answering. you brush it off, probably nothing.

you returned to aaron's room, you both talked about the brother situation more, and aaron mentioned spending more time with both kent's. you were happy to see he was content to learn about his new family and want to see them more.

"this is great. i'm happy when you're happy. it's deserve more close people in your life."

"but i have you, and that's enough."

"very sweet, but family relationships are different. i was fortunate to have a sister in my life. what if my mother hadn't had the both of us, juliette not being my sister? seems unimaginable.."

aaron goes rigid, being in his lap, you notice immediately, "you alright?"

he relaxes and nods, "this whole situation has me a bit disorientated. enough brother talk. let me remind you why our relationship has much better advantages than other ones.."

a full night of sleep was just a foreign concept at this point.

it took one day for anderson to come to the sector. you all had luckily kind of prepared for it, so there was a plan set that you all were to follow. kenji, juliette, and you were responsible for going to the ship to deal with anderson while the rest took care of the matter on land.

before separating, you said your farewell and good luck to aaron. you tried to cry when saying goodbye to james and promising all would be fine. lastly, you gave aaron a kiss, and you promised each other to be safe.

"i have no doubts that you will succeed. my father can't even fathom the power you possess."

as you three board the port, you notice the massive groups of soldiers. juliette has the idea of you pushing them into the water with your powers, which you do.

you each take turns getting onto the ship, 5-second gap each. however, once you get inside, you can't find neither juliette or kenji. still invisible, you take your chances going through different doors, trying not alert soldiers.

but it fails because bullets began shooting in your direction. you run as fast as you can; unlike juliette, you are not invincible neither was your suit, at least not entirely.

with your invisibility gone, you get cornered with at least 7 soldiers, armed. your instincts kick in, and you start throwing men and attacking them with your energy. one soldier begins shooting at you when you're caught off guard. you hold your hand out as a protection and close your eyes, but you see the bullet is stopped - by your shield. you hadn't even made an effort to create it yet, and it presented itself like it was an automatic presence.

after witnessing that, the guard abandoned the ship and ran off. you couldn't blame him; you doubt he got paid enough to deal with all this.

you attention is shifted when you heard loud crashes and screams. you recognize them as your friend and your sister. you rush toward the room where the sound was originating.

you see kenji on the ground in pain and juliette not too far off; she's crouched down, clutching her head, and struggling to stand. you spot anderson, with another man, who you recognize is causing juliette's pain with his sonic wave gift.

you focus your energy on the boy, focusing on hurting him. then he stops his pressure waves and starts howling in pain, crouching down like juliette had. you were in a trance, channeling all your energy into hurting the guy, then - you snapped his neck.

you ran to juliette first, helping her get up, then you checked on kenji who was in worse shape.

anderson drew his gun, and started shooting bullets at you both, but it simply just bounced off. you and juliette drew your own weapons; you looked at each other and knew what had to happen next.

you focus your energy on anderson, his legs then collapse under him. he starts scrambling on the ground. juliette steps on his hands - shattering his borns with her power.

"remember that lesson on justice getting served?"

you shoot him in the chest, and juliette aims for his head.

4 shots - one for adam, one for aaron, one for juliette, and one for you.

it was a blur after that. sara and sonya were found and attended to kenji who was luckily not in any fatal condition, he would be okay.

it felt like you were experiencing someone out-of-body, unreal. juliette went up to the speaker system, capable of speaking to the entirety of the sector. she announced the end of the reestablishment and its new leader.

he was dead. it was over.

still bloodied and bruised, you stood on the tallest tower of the compound. you hadn't talked to anyone; everyone too busy rejoicing. but you were still digesting everything that had just happened.

you look over the new land and wonder what could be in store next.

you're not surprised when juliette and aaron find you, they know you too well at this point. they don't say anything and each take a side next to you. aaron puts a hand around your waist and tugs you toward him.

"the entire rest of the world is coming after us now, you know."

"i'd love to see them try." juliette says confidently.

"i believe as long as our bonds remain strong, we can overcome anything." though. that wasn't how you really felt.

you didn't want to damper a glorious day. but you couldn't help the pit forming inside of your stomach, telling you this was only the beginning of a treacherous path.

but nothing come could destroy the bonds you forged, right?

@whatsupb18 @letspretendimnottrash @heart-an0n @mrsspector-grant @kikilarast10 @nina357 @lupinswolfsbanes (tysm for the support)

#aaron warner x reader #aaron warner imagine #aaron warner #aaron warner anderson #aaron warner fanfic #shatter me #shatter me fanfic #shatter me series #juliette ferrars #kenji kishimoto #adam kent #x female reader #x y/n #x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #headcannons

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bones-of-a-rabbit · 1 year

Text

u can never have too many au ideas (aka the cursed-sun/moon au)

(im copy n pasting this from discord bc im lazy sorry y'all fsjhf)

other au idea: Sun is a ruler or lord in a fantasy world or smthn and Moon is the form he's been Cursed into turning into each night. Reader is a low-tier magic-weilder (who has a secret past that involves smthn rlly Bad and they used to have a reasonable amount of respectability in th community but now theyre shunned and cant get a job anywhere and also has a big scar and/or only one eye lol) who's one remaining ability is the ability to lift minor curses or plagues. Sun has been searching for someone who can 'bless' the curse of Moon (or whatever is making Moon be nasty murderous bloodthirsty man) for ages but mages r rare and most of them spend maybe one night trying to cure Moon before either getting got or being scared into getting tf outta there

so eventually word reaches Sun of a mage who's been looking for work, with the only catch being that they arent very powerful and no one has much to say abt them, and Sun, who has burnt every single thread he has trying to find a mage, is like GOOD ENOUGH CALL THEM HERE

and reader is like 'oh shit this is potentially a rlly good job, the only catch is that i have to deal w a demon possessed guy thats like twice my height and three times as strong,,' and like. bc they have Zero Options and also feel like their life has run itself into th ground and there is little left for them/no way to get themselves out of their Issues, they r like 'yeah sure its gonna take a while bc i can only perform minor magic but i'll do whatever i can to see that this curse is delt with'

and instead of trying to face Moon head on, they start with just kinda,, getting to know him. he's kept chained/locked away in a chamber every night to keep ppl safe, but every night reader goes into the chambers, sits at a tea table just out of his reach, and just. talks with him

they dont entertain his trying to mess w them, taunting, cruelty, etc, but they talk when there's the chance for standard conversation. at first it's hell bc Moon is a little shit and he never cooperates. he never answers questions, he spends the entire night threatening to tear them apart and savor their insides, etc. they bring him a cup of tea every night, and every time he smashes the cup and throws the pieces at them

ok well point is eventually Moon starts to mellow out around them, will actually sit and have conversation with them, one day is like 'you think i dont know what youre doing?? youre just trying to bore me into falling for ur trap so u can kill me. i like ur style but its not gonna work >:3'

and reader is like 'i literally do not have enough magic to kill a toad let alone a whole entire possessed person' and moon is like ',, huh. so what IS ur goal here??' and reader is like 'i want to lift ur curse for both u and Sun's sakes. i gave u my word, and i will follow through, at the very least to clear my own conscience of a past sin'

and so eventually Moon, out of curiosity, and later bc he likes spending time with reader, starts letting them cast the healing magic on him, breaking the curse little by little every night

and at the same time all this is happening, reader is spending mornings and evenings with Sun and keeping him up to date on how the process is going and, eventually, becoming the person he turns to when he's stressed or tired or rlly just wants company

and idk smthn smthn eventually both of them rlly want Reader and they dont know how to act so they just b making fools of themselves but reader is a dumbass so theyre just confused

(Moon absolutely tells Reader abt every 'oh man i rlly wanna kiss kiss snuggle smooch the mage rn' thought Sun has during the day but Reader is so used to Moon being a little shit n making shit up to mess with them that they r just like ._. )

the plot twist part,,

(the secret dark past that reader is hiding is that they used to be a local mage for a nearby town who was known and respected for giving 'blessings' to ppl for small fees but one day for Reasons, they cast a curse upon someone and one of the biggest no-no's a mage can do is Curse someone so the town practically rioted, tore them down from their pedestal, called upon another mage to strip reader of their magic, and then cast them out)

(rn im considering the idea that the person reader Cursed is Vanny, who, because of her own curse, eventually went on to be the one who cursed Sun and Moon)

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 months

Note

Hello! (And sorry in advance for the longread). First of all, thank you for all your hard work maintaining the most ultimate fanfic collection I've ever come across and guiding all the poor lost souls like myself towards their perfect fic solution! Life's pretty hard for me rn and through your lists and recommendations I've found exactly the works that help me keep pushing. And here comes the Second: I have two requests if I may? One is for helping find two works that I've read already but lost them and cannot find them for my life (probably just skipping them somehow, I can miss things right under my nose); first is I'm almost but not 100% sure about Sherlock dealing with withdrawal and John helping him, the one detail that I remember vividly is Sherlock telling John how Lestrade saved him from an od by unexpectedly showing up when Sherlock wanted to take his life 10 days after his verbally abusive father's funeral and that's also how he and Donovan met as Greg brought her with him. The second work is about sick feverish Sherlock and John calling Lestrade to help get Sherlock in the shower so he doesn't have to go to the hospital unless it doesn't help, Sherlock also unknowingly throwing punches when feverish, one landing on John's face, and he apologized afterwards.

And the second request is maybe you know some works that feature John asking Sherlock to dance and them subsequently dancing together, publicly if possible? Not an AU (I mean as a different universe like balletlock or fantasylock or sth, canon deviations are okay, even better if it's 'Mary's a villain') and not a sad ending if possible too. It just broke my heart that Sherlock loves dancing so much and John was apparently very reluctant and ashamed of them training before the wedding, so Sherlock had to help hide that, my poor baby. Would be ideal if it was specifically John wanting to make that right but I'll gorge up on anything except for AUs and sad endings.

Sorry if I'm asking for too much and/or if this whole word sheet is difficult to read since I'm not a native speaker. I hope that for as long as you still feel up to this and have love for the fandom you'll grace us with your presence and effort, it is greatly appreciated! Best wishes and thank you again!

Hi Nonny!!!

First of all, Thank you so much for your kind words!! I am humbled that you think of my blog as an "ultimate collection of fics" hahah. That's SO sweet and makes my tummy all squidgy!! I love when y'all find comfort in my happy place! :)

I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch right now, but I'm glad that my blog makes the days easier for you 💜🖤

And you can have as many requests as you like!! This blog relies on them!!!! I'll try my best to help you find them!!

Sadly, I don't know what fics either of the two you are searching for are (the OD / withdrawal nor the shower fic) but my Lovelies and Lurkers™ have an uncanny ability to find fics that I don't know, so hopefully they'll come through for us for either of those.

As for the Second Request, best I can do IMMEDIATELY are these lists:

Dancing (updated March 14/23)

Sexy Dancing

Evil / Not-Nice / Villain Mary

Not EXACTLY what you're looking for, but I hope that these will be a good start!!

If anyone wants to offer ANY fic for ANY of the requests for Nonny, please let us know!! I check the notes on all posts and add them to the lists! 💜🖤

Hope you're having a great day Nonny, and lots of HUGS!!!

#steph replies #johnlock fic reqs #help steph find fics #overdose fics #dancing fics #drugs and drugging fics #villain mary fics

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happiness-of-the-pursuit · 5 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @kiwiana-writes for the tag!! I did this back in like... October, and a LOT has changed since then lol

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

299,988 (though this includes 110,000 from the co-written PJO AU and 2,000 words from Manu's fic that I podficced to)

What fandoms do you write for?

Only RWRB for now, though never say never to others. I recently read Check, Please! and I've had some thoughts, but I have far too many WIPs for RWRB to write them rn. Also I have some ideas for The Pairing, but again, I have... so many RWRB wips...

Top five fics by kudos:

Longer Than Most | 26K, trans Henry accidental pregnancy (also this is how I found out it had become my top kudos-ed fic AH)

The Super Six Take a Lie Detector Test | Vanity Fair | 7K, YouTube interview

Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) | 6K, epistolary roommates

Claremont 2008 | 28K, canon divergence where Ellen gets elected in 2008, childhood friends to lovers

(Dil)Do It Yourself | 17K, meet cute at a DIY dildo workshop

Do you respond to comments?

I really try to. But. I have gotten quite behind recently. I would love to catch up but it's just a bit overwhelming at the moment.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really have any angsty endings?? but a fic @affectionatelyrs and I are working on is going to have an ambiguous ending and my joke is that someone should the version of it where things take the angsty route

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mostly write happy endings, but I am going to say that Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) is the happiest because it's kinda the tropiest

Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, but I've gotten one or two weird comments, or comments asking about updates.

Do you write smut?

I do! (this is one of the things that's changed since the fall)

Craziest crossover:

The closest I've gotten to a crossover is the PJO AU, but that's not even an actual crossover.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!! Super Six and the Siren's Call with @inexplicablymine and @read-and-write- was the first, and then I wrote Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) with @affectionatelyrs. I also did the podficcing of the voice notes for love has a voice (and it's yours) by Manu. I've also got a couple more projects coming up with Jamie also.

All time favorite ship?

Well that I've written for, FirstPrince :)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unfortunately I don't know if I'll ever finish Baby's First Pride because I've grown a ton as a writer since then and I would want to redo the old chapters and that just isn't all the compelling to me anymore...

What are your writing strengths?

I fucking hate this question. But I am going with dialogue and humor (and humorous dialogue) which has been co-signed by others so I feel less weird about saying this.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would like to be able to keep smut more concise at times, because it always turns into a Big Scene but it doesn't always need to be a Big Scene. And I've been trying to work on a particular style of writing which is a bit more uhhh snappy? I don't know how to describe it. But that's still a huge work in progress, because I always get more rambly than I want.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I definitely try to include it for the characters in RWRB who speak other languages, and when I do I lean on my friends who speak those languages as a native speaker.

First fandom you wrote in?

Officially: RWRB. For myself: HP.

Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly it's always whatever I'm working on at the moment, which is a couple of WIPs: Fire Island WIP, Parasocial Relationship AU with @affectionatelyrs, and my Big Bang fic come to mind.

But really I want to know what y'all's favorite fic of mine is!!!!

I'll tag 20 people, sorry if anyone's done this recently, but in case anyone wants to go again: @mainstreamelectricalparade @14carrotghoul @anincompletelist @littlemisskittentoes @gay-flyboys

and @songliili @gayrootvegetable @leojfitz @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

and @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie @captainjunglegym @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise

and @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @bribumblebee @nocoastposts @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway!!!

#20 questions for fic writers #tag game #happinessofthepursuit writes

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bbyquokka · 2 years

Text

betrayal

pairing: bang chan x fem reader

genre: angst, smut – MDNI

synopsis: chan betrayed your trust. he tries his best to show you how sorry he is, but did it worked? or was it too much for you to bear.

warnings: cheating, heartbreak, elevated feelings, smut, unprotected sex, make-up sex, heated moment, explicit language, nipple play, clit play, pussy eating, rutting, face-riding, possessiveness, jealousy, creampie, some masturbation [ m ], pet names [ pup, my love, baby ], biting, mentions of insecurities, anxiety and imperfections – if i missed any, lmk!!

words: 5k

tag: @bellamuerte1987

a/n: i cried whilst writing this – especially the ending! why am i like this, lmaoo. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this mess. i am currently battling a cold rn so if it seems jumbled up, that's because it is, lmaoo.🤧

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated as they help get my fics/blog out there. please let me know what you think, ty for the support and love as of lately! i hope y'all enjoy!

♡ m.list

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

Silence. The background noise of your TV became a distant sound. Dizziness and nausea slowly creeping its way to the back of your throat. Your ears ringing. You're staring at your phone screen, eyes watering from either not blinking for 5 minutes or because of what you were seeing.

Your heart shattering into a million pieces, palms sweaty. Heartbreak, anger, disgust was all you could feel. Emotions and adrenaline coursing through your veins. You couldn't believe your eyes.

Minho 😈 [22:30]: im sry, (Y/N) you have to see this…

Minho 😈 [22:31] picture attached

I'm so so sry…

Chan, your lover of only 3 months, was photographed kissing someone else. As soon as you saw it, your mouth ran dry. You wanted to scream, punch the cushions, smash things up around your apartment in fits of rage – but you couldn't.

You felt numb. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the screen. Occasionally zooming in with your index and pointer finger for the millionth time to make sure it is who Minho said it is.

You thought it was a joke, a big practical joke on you when Minho explained it was Chan. You and Minho don't get on at the best of times, you're both headstrong people with strong opinions, so naturally you both clash, however, Minho isn't that type of person to make something as serious as this up.

You swallowed a lump in your throat. You clenched your jaw, your throat becoming dry in an instant. No matter how many times you swallowed, your throat stayed dry. Soon enough, you ran out of saliva.

You took deep breaths, closing your eyes and counting to ten, slowly. You blinked back hot tears, swallowing down your nausea. You walked to the kitchen, your bare feet slapping softly against the wooden floor.

Grabbing a glass, you filled it up with cold water. You placed your phone screen side down at the breakfast bar, parking yourself on the high stool as you sipped your water and waiting, staring into the void.

You didn't have to wait long. Soon enough, a cheerful Chan came in through the door, unaware that his life was about to be turned upside down. Humming, he kicked his shoes off before walking inside, looking around for you. You stared at him, placing your glass down on the breakfast bar. Chan grinned when he saw you, walking to you with a bounce in his step.

"Hey baby!" Chan said cheerfully, unaware of what's to come. He smelt of sweat and alcohol, with a hint of cheap perfume. It enraged you even more.

Chan leaned in to kiss your lips but you instantly turned your head, denying his kiss as his lips connected with your cheek. Chan pulled away slowly, feeling your hostile mood. His brows furrowed, smile turning into a frown.

"Babe? You okay?" His voice laced with concern. You simply shrugged, picking up your glass and sipping your water.

"I don't know Chan. You tell me." You replied, voice monotone. Chan blinked, trying to read your emotions or body language, but to no avail.

"I don't understand." You scoffed, short puffs of hot air escaping your nostrils. You put your glass down and looked at Chan for the first time since he got home.

Chan swallowed. Your somewhat calm demeanor scaring him. His mind working overtime to figure out what he has – or hasn't – done. You took deep breaths, chest rising before you grabbed your phone. You opened it, the picture staring at you once again. Refusing to let your hot tears fall, you pressed your lips in a thin line, eyes blinking rapidly.

You flipped your phone, showing Chan the screen you had been staring at for an hour and a half. His eyes widened in horror.

"Where-"

"Minho. Minho sent it me." You replied coldly, cutting Chan off mid sentence. Chan sighed deeply, running his fingers through his hair.

"That bastard" He mumbled under his breath. You raised a brow, your anger resurfacing – this time, you allowed it to take control of your body. You exploded.

"Seriously Chan?!" Chan's head shot up as you slammed your phone down on the breakfast bar. "I show you a picture of you sucking the face off some other women and your first instinct is to call your best friend a bastard?!"

"I-No!" Chan exclaimed. You stood up, standing in front of him. Your body hot with rage, words spewing from your mouth.

"Then what Chan?! Why? Why did you do it?"

"It was-" Chan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck "It was a dare. Changbin dared me to, so I did." You laughed in disbelief, your eyes narrowing into thin slits as you glared at Chan.

"A dare? Seriously, a fucking dare?! Y'know what it's like, Chan. To sit here day in day out, constantly thinking whether you will be home or not? Do you know how anxious I feel, knowing that you're out there, getting shitfaced?!"

"I-Im sorry, babe! it means nothing!"

"It doesn't matter whether it meant something or not, Chan!! You still kissed someone else!" Your vision blurry with tears. You hastily wiped your eyes with the back of your hand as Chan pressed his lips together in a thin line. Before he could stop himself, the words spewed from his mouth without a second thought.

"Oh come on, (Y/N) it's not like I fucked her there and then. It's not a big deal, just some stupid dare." Chan's eyes widened once he registered what he said. You stood in front of him in disbelief, shocked and speechless at what he just said.

"fuck, fuck, babe, I didn't mean it. I-"

"You're right. You didn't fuck her, well done. But why has it taken for Minho to tell me this?! Huh? Would you have told me yourself, or would you have just pretended nothing had happened and lied to me?"

You shoved Chan's chest, pushing him close to the wall with each word you spoke. This time, you allowed your tears to fall. You allowed all the pent up feelings you were suppressing to explode.

"I would have, I'm sorry!" Chan's own eyes filled with tears as he allowed you to shove him against the wall.

"Sorry for doing it or sorry you got caught?" You questioned.

"Oh, come on! Of course I'm sorry for doing it. It meant nothing to me! You're the only person I have eyes for, pup!" Your lip turned at the corner in disgust.

"It doesn't matter whether it meant something or not. You. Still. Did. It!" Tears cascading down your cheeks. Your breath labored as your throat was getting sore from shouting. A headache slowly creeping its way in.

"I know, I know whatever I say won't make a change, but believe me when I say I love you and I always will!" Chan pleaded. You laughed, kicking your head back at his words.

"Love? No you don't Chan because if you did, you wouldn't have done it! You didn't think of me at all when you kissed her. Nothing in your mind told you not to do this, to tell changbin no and that you're not going to do the dare! You still went along with it and if Minho wasn't there, you would have gotten away with it as well!"

Chan looked at the ground, feeling defeated. No matter what he said, nothing could make you change your mind about this.

"I have been, so fucking faithful to you Chan. I have put my trust into you and for what? for you to stomp on it." Your voice was shaky as you spoke, your heart breaking all over again.

Chan looked up at you, his own heart breaking at the sight of you. Eye and cheeks puffy, a red tint across your cheeks from anger, a cold sweat lay across your forehead. Your beautiful eyes glossy with tears. He loves you so much and he has royally fucked up.

"You know how I feel about stuff like this Chan." You whispered. Chan's heart dropped to his stomach, panic settling on his facial features.

"N-No! Please.." You looked at the ground, sobs shaking your figure. You wiped your eyes and cheeks. Chan placed a hand on your shoulder gently, only for you to slap it away. Chan pressed his lips together, tears falling down his face.

"Pup, please don't.. I love you so much. Please. Just let me prove to you how sorry I am!" Chan begged. Short splutters of air escaped your lips, your ability to calm down failing.

"I-I love you t-too, Chan. But you betrayed me. You h-hurt me.."

"I know, I know pup. Just please, give me another chance." Chan whispered, wrapping his arms around you. This time, you allowed it. You allowed yourself to drown in this familiar warmth – a warmth you call home. You allowed Chan to pull you close to his chest, his gentle hands wiping away your tears as his own continued to fall.

"Don't cry, my love. I hate seeing you like this."

"YOU did this!" You shot back, words bitter. Chan simply nodded, cupping your cheeks in both his hands so you were forced to look at him.

"I'm sorry, pup. Please, give me another chance, or at least, let me prove to you how much you mean to me." His voice barely a whisper.

You weakly shook your head, failing to get out of his grip. You avoided eye contact because you know just with one look into those beautiful eyes, and you're putty in his hands.

"Look at me." You whimpered, refusing "Pup, look at me."

You looked. Just as expected, you melted. Despite his puffy cheeks and bloodshot eyes, despite the fact a faint bruise was forming on his neck, you couldn't help yourself but be drawn into him.

Chan leaned in slowly, his lips ghosting over your own. You held onto his wrists as his hands held your face, softly.

"Let me show you how much I love you, pup." His voice low. The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume hitting your nostrils, making your stomach churn. You whimpered weakly, stray tears falling down your cheeks.

"N-No." you replied weakly. Your body betrayed you as your skin felt hot beneath Chan's fingertips.

"No?" Chan questioned. "You don't want this?"

You swallowed, closing your eyes slowly. You didn't want him, but now, you do. The constant smell of the cheap perfume made you jealous. How dare she touch what belongs to you! How dare she make a mark on his delicate skin! How dare she!

A wave of new emotions washed over you. Jealousy and possessiveness. Two dangerous emotions to feel at the same time. You know you shouldn't, he did you wrong on so many levels, but you couldn't help it. You wanted to erase the stench, erase the marks and make new ones. He's yours and yours only!

Love is blind.

"I-I do.. I want you Chan." You whispered. Chan pressed his lips against yours, kissing you desperately. You responded back, mimicking his movements. The taste of alcohol and cherry lip balm made you feel nauseous all over again. Your emotions heightened. You're not thinking straight and for the first time, you didn't want to think or feel.

"C-Channie." You softly moaned. During the kiss, you made your way to the bedroom, lips staying attached to one another. Clothing stripped and discarded in random piles. Chan placed you on your back gently, caressing your curves by planting soft and delicate kisses.

Your thighs, hips, stomach, breasts – anywhere where Chan could reach, he kissed. soft compliments in the form of mumbles left his lips, hoping it would prove to you and somewhat make you feel better

But it didn't. It just hurts you even more. His statements of you being so beautiful and perfect to him stung more and more. You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill over as you watched Chan tenderly kissing your stomach and hip dips.

You let out a sob, your tears falling and landing on the sheets below you. Chan looked up, instantly bringing his face close to yours. He kissed away your tears softly, stroking your hair

"Don't cry, my love." His own voice breaking at the sight of you. He's hurt you in the worst way possible – now he has to live with the guilt.

"It'll all be okay in the end, I promise you." You nodded slowly, snuffling. "Let me help you forget."

His lips pecking yours in the most subtle but softest way possible. You whimpered as he slowly made his way down, kissing your neck and the valley between your breasts. He kissed your left breast softly, sucking your delicate skin. You hummed at the feeling, fresh bruises developing.

The tip of his tongue circling around your nipple making you whimper. He pressed his tongue flat against your sensitive bud, licking and flicking. You moaned softly, eyes closing at the feeling. You pressed your thighs together, squeezing them.

With his free hand, Chan cupped your right breast, massaging it softly in his big hands. His fingers occasionally brushing against your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

"Fuck, You're so beautiful, (Y/N)" Chan mummered against your nipple. You swallowed softly, humming as a response before closing your eyes.

Pulling away from your breast, Chan shuffled further down, opening your legs gently to reveal your wet core. Chan licked his lips slowly, his gaze fixated on your cunt. He swallowed, watching it clench and throb.

"Fuckkk" He groaned. Using two of his fingers, he parted your lips giving himself a better view of your entrance. His head dipped low. His tongue darting out and making contact with your clit. Your body jolted at the sudden contact, soft groans leaving your lips. His tongue skillfully draws small circles around your clit before giving it short and quick flicks with the tip of his tongue.

You opened your legs wider as Chan slowly licked your entrance, tongue darting in and out, collecting your essence on his tongue. He hummed at the taste, licking a long wet strip from entrance to clit and back down again.

You tangled your fingers into his hair, soft moans leaving your lips as you closed your eyes. Chan gripped your thighs gently, squeezing your soft flesh as he licked inside, out and around your cunt. You felt your pussy pulsating, pleasure running through your veins as you allowed yourself to get lost in it.

You tugged Chan's hair softly, moaning his name. Your hips bucked and rutted against his face. His nose bumping and rubbing against your clit, sending shivers to run down your spine. Chans tongue continued to do work inside your entrance, collecting every spillage and every drop of your essence.

You pressed Chan's face against your pussy, grinding and rutting against it desperately, using it for your own sake. Chan hummed, allowing you to do as you please.

"Good, so good." You whimpered, soft pants leaving your lips. Your essence coating Chan's lips and chin, his own hips rutting against the bedsheets, desperate for some sort of friction. Saliva and slick coated your cunt making it glisten in the faint light

Chan slowly loses himself in your scent and taste, slowly feeling feral. His hips rutting against the sheets desperately. Your toes curled as you tugged Chan's hair roughly at his scalp, a grunt leaving his lips.

The knot in the pit of your stomach slowly forming. Your hips moving at a pace, desperately chasing your high. The warmth and wetness of Chan's tongue and saliva mixed in with your slick, his owns hums mixing in with your desperate moans

"C-Chan.." A simple hum vibrated against your cunt sending shivers down your spine. You squeezed your eyes shut, gripping Chan's hair even tighter as your toes curled.

Your body shook as your orgasm hit you. Soft whimpers leaving your lips as Chan collects every drop of essence onto his tongue. Your pussy convulsing against Chan's face, his nose rubbing your sensitive clit as your rutting slowed down. Chan gave your clit a flick, making you jolt at the sensitivity.

Chan pulled away, kneeling up and between your legs. His cheeks flush as slick coated his chin and lips. You whimpered softly at the sight, body feeling hot and sweaty as your heart was racing against your ribcage

"You taste so good, pup. Did it feel good riding on my face?" Chan smirked as you nodded slowly

"It felt so good channie." Chan hummed softly, stroking his hard cock, the pad of his thumb occasionally pressing against his leaking tip as he would rub slow circles on it. You watched Chan get himself off, his head kicked back as he'd groan and moan your name softly.

Your eyes traveled along his sweat coated body. His abs tensing at the pleasure his own hand was providing. His eyes closed shut as his mouth hung open slightly. His biceps visible contacting, his veins protruding along his hand and arms.

The sight was enough to make you cum again

Until your eyes landed on that stupid bruise that lay proudly on his neck. you clenched your jaw as you stared at it. Everything you felt previous, came flooding back.You wanted to claw at the bitch who dared lay her fingers on your man – on your property. You didn't even know her, yet you hated her

Chan opened his eyes slowly. He looked at you, tilting his head to the side

"You okay, pup?" Your face softened. You smiled softly at Chan, pushing your anger to the side not wanting to ruin the moment

"Everything is good, Channie. You just looked so handsome and delicious." You mewled. Chan laughed softly, leaning over you as he placed his hands firmly beside your head.

"Is that so?" you hummed and nodded.

"Absolutely, Channie. You always look so handsome"

"Stop. It should be me who should be complimenting you." Chan hummed, kissing your lips softly. You hummed into the kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck gently to keep him close.

Chan reached between your bodies, grabbing the base of his cock. He tapped it a few times against your cunt, a whimper leaving your lips

"Are you okay with this, pup?"

"Of course I am, chan. Make love to me, please." Chan smiled against your lips, slowly inserting his cock into your entrance. You groaned at the feeling of being stretched out, a slight burn running all over your body.

Chan pushed himself inside until he was half way, waiting for you to get used to his size. You whimpered softly, holding onto Chan's shoulders.

"Big, you're so big Chan. I feel so full already." You whined. Chan shivered at your words, his ego inflating slightly

"Don't. I won't be able to hold back if you carry on, pup."

"But it's true. You feel so good inside me, Channie." You mewled, hand coming to his cheek and stroking it softly.

"P-Please, don't." Chan whimpered, leaning into your hand as he kissed the palm of it.

"Don't what? Tell you how full I feel? How stretched out I am because of your thick cock." Chan hung his head low, teeth biting his lower lip as he struggled between wanting to destroy your insides to wanting to delicately take care of you.

You leaned up, lips ghosting the shell of his ear as you licked it slowly before whispering

"Why don't you fuck me like you mean it, Sir."

Chan grunted, his hands gripping your hips harshly. Your head fell back onto the sheets as you smirked. Chan's eyes full of lust and need.

"You fucking tease." Chan growled, pulling his hips back before snapping them against your own, his cock hitting deep inside you. Your body jolted, a loud moan escaping your lips as you smirked.

"What can I say Chan. I like it when you go feral. It's delicious." Chan's response was to pull his hips back once more and pause, his tip remaining inside of you

"Oh really? I always knew you had such a filthy mouth and it never surprises me when you talk dirty." He pushed his length inside you so he was now balls deep

Fast and powerful thrusts shook your body. His cock rubbing your velvety walls as his tip hit deep inside you. The bed shook and hit against the wall from how powerful Chan's hips were snapping against your own

The sounds of your cunt squelching mixed in with your moans and Chan's desperate grunts. Chan knelt up, taking your legs in his hands for leverage. His hips constantly slapping against your own, balls hitting your ass.

He repositioned himself to hit your sweet spot and once he did, he smirked feeling proud of himself once your loud and sweet moan hit his ears, sending shivers down his spine and his cock to twitch inside you.

You withered and clinged onto the bed sheets until your knuckles turned white. Beads of sweat ran down your temples as incoherent words and moans left your lips. Chan's gaze fell down on the area in which connected the both of you, his cock coating in your slick each time he pulled out and pushed in.

"Fuckkk" Sweat coated Chan's body, his thrusts becoming greedy and desperate. He pushed his sweaty hair back with a free hand before looking down at you. He smirked, placing his hand on your lower stomach, feeling his cock bulging against his hand.

"I'm so deep inside you, pup. Holy fuck." You hummed, nodding your head as your ability to speak was no more.

You felt good – so good that you forgot. Forgot why you were angry, why you were hurting. You allowed yourself to be taken in by Chan, soaking in all of his warmth and pleasure he provided. Chan is your safe place, your home and for one second, you just wanted to pretend everything was okay

Even though it will never be the same again.

Chan's hips faltered, your cunt clenching around Chan's cock. His movements becoming sloppy, his abs and thighs tensing and burning.

"Chan, I'm-"

"Me too, pup." You whimper, reaching up to grab Chan. You pulled him down so he was leant over you. His hot skin radiating onto you from how close you both are, pants mixing together. You both closed your eyes, lips meeting together in a sloppy and lazy kiss.

You groaned, gripping onto Chan's shoulders tightly as your orgasm hit. Your nails digging into his skin as you pulled away from his lips. Your eyes came into contact with the mark, your feral instincts taking over.

As your cunt was pulsating and throbbing around Chan, you took the opportunity to sink your teeth into his neck, over the mark. A loud groan rang down your ears as you bit and sucked the skin, desperate to override the previous mark.

You whimpered against his skin, becoming more and more desperate to erase any marks on his body. Chan groaned at the pain, his eyes squeezing shut.

"B-baby, it hurts." Your eyes widened, pulling away slowly. You swallowed, teeth marks and a newly formed bruise that was deep purple formed on his skin

"Sorry.." You whispered, head falling back onto the pillows. Chan shook his head indicating it was okay, his hips still thrusting deep inside you

After a couple more thrusts, Chan groaned as his hips stopped. His cock twitched deep inside you, filling you up with his seed. You hummed at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him as it encouraged him to milk himself inside you. Chan thrusted shallowly to ride out his high and once he was calm, he pulled his now flaccid cock out of you and collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you with his weight.

"I love you so much, pup." Chan said as his eyes slowly closed. His head rested against your chest so he could hear your erratic heartbeat. You stroked his sweaty hair slowly, tears spilling down your cheeks as you stared into the void.

"I love you too."

The next morning, Chan awoke to a cold and empty bed. He stretched, groaning at the feeling as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the harsh morning light, reaching over to your side – only for his hand to come into contact with the cold sheets

His head spun to the side, eyes widening in horror. He sprung out of bed, throwing the sheets off him. Nausea and anxiety hitting him like a truck, not wanting his biggest fear to come true. He opened the wardrobe, the drawers, checked the cabinets and bathroom.

Gone. Everything you owned was gone. Chan took shaky deep breaths as he exited from the bathroom. A shaky hand running through his hair as he paced the bedroom.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This cannot be happening! I'm such an idiot. What have I done?!"

He sat on the bed, head in hands as tears fell down his cheeks, reality hitting him hard. He looked up to find a letter addressed to him leaning against a photo frame that held a dorky selfie of you both.

Chan grabbed the letter, opening it with shaky hands. Broken sobs and tears landed on the paper, the ink bleeding as he read it. Realization hitting him over and over again as he read the letter, more than once

You were gone and Chan only has himself to blame.

"Chan,

My sweet, darling chan. I love you, more than you will ever know which is why I have to do this.

You have taught me many things in the space of three months. I have never loved myself. I've always been hard on myself, forever comparing myself to other people and wondering why I am not like them. I hated my imperfections and my insecurities got the better of me at times. I was so use to faking it and hiding behind a mask, that it became second nature to me

Finding someone to love me for who I am, was hard. I've had many broken and failed relationships and before I met you, I essentially gave up. I accepted that this is who I forever will be

Broken.

Until you came along. When I saw you in the bar, looking so gorgeous, I went home that night and thanked God. When you approached me, I was so nervous and sweating because I didn't want you to see the real me because, like many others, it'd scare you away.

But you were quick to catch on. You knew I was being fake and even though you were smart, you never pressed me about it which I am thankful for. You allowed me to slowly come out off my shell, at my own pace. Yes, I was scared to show you the true me, but the more time I spent with you, the more I realise that, you love me for me

You didn't care about my imperfections, you adored them! You soothed me of my worries and insecurities. You taught me how to love myself again, how to accept and love my imperfections because nobody is perfect!

Because you loved my imperfections, I slowly started to love them too. You saw them as perfect and a part of who I am, so why shouldn't I? It did take some time, however, my mind was in a constant battle with itself over what is right and what is wrong.

But seeing you, so loved up for someone as broke as me, made me feel whole again. Made me feel like a person. You made me feel like I have meaning on this shitty planet. You taught me many things Chan, but the one thing I will forever be grateful of, is the fact that you taught me how to love myself again.

However, waking up next to you this morning and knowing what happened, sent my mind into overdrive. My insecurities came flooding back.

Stupid questions of 'How long did the kiss last?' 'Was it just a peck or a full blown make out session?' And then I saw the mark last night. She marked you Chan. She marked what belonged to me. I went feral with rage. I HAD to override the mark, reclaim what is mine! In that moment, I didn't recognise who I was and it scared me. I was so consumed with blaming her that it never occurred to me that you're just as much to blame for this as she is.

For all I know, she probably doesn't even know about me. You probably thought it was a bit of harmless fun so you went along with it, not expecting this outcome. This is the consequences for your actions Chan.

it's not fair on us, to have this hanging over our heads so, I decided to take a break. I need to get my head in the right place again. I'm staying at my mother's for a while, in case you were wondering.

One look at you and it all comes flooding back to me. It's not fair on either of us. I don't want to constantly hold this against you whilst we try and heal.

I can forgive you Chan, but I cannot forget, not at this moment of time anyways. Please don't hold this against you, my love. it's not your fault. They say things happen for a reason, so maybe this is a good thing for us. Maybe we will come back better and stronger as one.

Please take this time apart to heal. I want the best for you Channie because I will forever love you, no matter what happens. I want to see you thrive and become a better person, to learn from this.

I love you more than you will ever know, my love. You are my heart and soul. You have left tiny footprints on my heart. I simply cannot remove you from my life – I refuse to!!

– forever yours, pup. x"

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pepperonijem · 1 year

Text

vii. a dream within a dream || all my love

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream ." - A Dream Within a Dream; Edgar Allan Poe

Summary: bucky barnes ocassionally lives out his dream of being a hallmark holiday movie protagonist. only on weekends. Pairing: Bucky Barnesx f!Reader Warnings: food mentions Word Count: 2.8k A/N: sorry for the random hiatus. it has been a very difficult last two weeks, with school, the passing of one of my favorite artists, and just general business of life... but here y'all goooo

previous chapter || back to library || next chapter

“Bucky,” Steve sighed in frustration. “You’ve missed the turn three times already. We’ve been circling this block for twenty minutes.”

“Steven, with all due respect, please shut up so I can see better.”

“I’ll shut up when you finally make the –” Steve was cut off by Bucky making a sharp left turn and he grabbed the handle above his window. “Oh my god, this isn’t Mario Kart, use your brakes.”

“Well I made the turn didn’t I?” Bucky huffed at Steve as he readjusted his wheel. Thankfully, the streets weren’t too busy at this time of night. Bucky glanced over at Steve who let out a chortle of disbelief.

“I guess that’s true,” he admitted.

“So why was everyone being so weird earlier?” Bucky asked, referring to the weird shift in events that occurred when he stopped at Scott’s house.

The question seemed to catch Steve off guard as he let out a surprised cough. “Weird? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about why Natasha seemed to be hauling your ass to the front door, and how Wanda suddenly got food poisoning less than half an hour after I called her,” Bucky said flatly, glancing over at Steve, who was staring outside of the window, pretending to be interested in the empty and clear night sky.

“Oh that? You know Wanda has IBS, she’s really sensitive about it,” Steve replied a little too quickly.

“Okay…” Bucky dragged out. He very well knew that Wanda did not have irritable bowel syndrome, having eaten many meals with her.

Steve turned back around to face him. “Why did you only ask Natasha and Wanda to go with you?” he asked in return.

Now it was Bucky who was caught off guard. “Well, they’re uh… they’re the most entertaining people to roadtrip with.” The words left his mouth a little too quickly and Steve responded with an unconvinced nod.

“Oh, I’m sure Sam would be happy to hear that,” Steve teased. Bucky rolled his eyes with a huff.

“What are you doing right now?” Bucky asked as he noticed Steve rummaging through the glove compartment of his car.

“Looking for snacks,” Steve replied, as if it was obvious. “I didn’t get a chance to eat dinner.” As if on cue, Bucky’s own stomach began to rumble. He hadn’t really had the chance to eat all day, choosing to spend all of his time planning this surprise rather than making meals. He was slightly annoyed, but saw that they managed to make up for some time and had a bit of lee-way before they needed to be at the airport.

Without looking down, he reached down and handed his phone to Steve. “Look for a fast-food place and we can grab something to eat.” Steve hummed in response, unlocking Bucky’s phone.

“Uh, Bucky,” Steve announced, looking up from the phone with a hint of panic. “You have a lot of missed messages and calls from your roomie.”

“Shit,” Bucky cursed under his breath. At the next stoplight, he grabbed his phone back to check the messages, and sure enough, there was a slew of notifications all from you.

neighbor 💩 (8:10 p.m.): jimothy where r u rn

neighbor💩 (8:10 p.m.): if you’re out can u pick up mcdonald’s pls, i’m craving chicken nuggets

neighbor💩 (8:13 p.m.): nvm, i think i actually want taco bell

neighbor💩 (8:15 p.m.): OR ACTUALLY, aren’t u hanging out with everyone tonight? Can u bring home some of the soup wanda makes? it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn

neighbor💩 (8:35 p.m.): Why is my dad calling and asking me where you are

neighbor💩 (8:37 p.m.): Why is Wanda saying you’re not at Scott’s house and that you and Steve are taking a roadtrip together

neighbor💩 (8:39 p.m.): if you are with Steve tell him to answer his phone before I find him and leave him stranded in the woods myself

(3) Missed calls from neighbor💩 8:40 p.m.

Neighbor 💩 (8:50 p.m.): James Barnes i swear to god… i can’t believe you didn’t tell me my dad’s coming in!!

Neighbor 💩 (8:51 p.m.): u better be driving safe… that’s precious cargo

Neighbor 💩 (8:52 p.m.): anyway i haven’t decided if i’m mad or happy that you planned this whole thing without telling me… find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z

“By any chance,” Steve started sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at his own phone. “Is this supposed to be a surprise?”

“That’s correct,” Bucky confessed, setting his phone down as the light turned green once again. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”

“Well, not anymore,” Steve said sheepishly.

Bucky looked at him, eyes wide with panic. “You told her?” He asked loudly.

Steve raised his hands in defense. “I didn’t know! You know I’m terrible with secrets,” he pouted.

Bucky took a deep breath, calming himself down. “It’s fine,” he said. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s fine. It’s fine right?”

Steve nodded back. “It’ll be fine,” he echoed. “At least we’re almost there.”

After a half an hour, the boys finally arrived at the airport.

They were greeted by the familiar figure waiting at the curb with an excited smile and a friendly wave. As Bucky pulled the car into a stop, he took a deep breath before getting out of the car to help his guest load into the car.

“Bucky!” your dad exclaimed as he pulled him into a warm hug that Bucky wasn’t really expecting. “Nice to see you.” He peeked over Bucky’s shoulder to see Steve waving to him from the passenger’s seat.

“Steve, is that you?” He asked with a cheerful smile as Steve nodded sheepishly. He too received a hug through the window, before entering the car himself.

As they headed home, the three boys in the car found themselves in pleasant conversation as they caught up on life.

“How’s your application going, Steve?” Your father asked from the back seat.

Steve hesitated, looking out the window as he finally answered. “I uh, I sent it in last month. Just waiting to hear back from them.”

As if noticing a shift in Steve’s demeanor, he switched his focus to the boy in the driver’s seat. “What about you, Bucky? What are your plans for next year?”

Just like Steve, Bucky hesitated before answering. “I think I’m going into education,” he exclaimed, as if the words surprised him as well.

“Oh education?” Your dad hummed thoughtfully. “Your dad always thought you would go into engineering or something science-y. What made you decide on education?”

Bucky smiled as he replied. “A good talk with a good friend.” He didn’t miss the way Steve looked at him with an eyebrow raised, but decided not to mention it.

An hour later, Bucky pulled into the driveway and put his car in park. He hadn’t even opened his door before the back seat passenger door was being swung open and he heard your voice ring in his ear.

“Dad!” you called, pulling him out of the car and into a warm embrace. As Steve and Bucky got out of the car you immediately latched on to both of them as well, surprising Bucky. Maybe hugging runs in the family? He thought.

“Bucky,” you said firmly, now pulling away from him. Your eyebrows were furrowed together and your eyes looked glassy and— were you mad?

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m— I thought it would be a cool surprise and I—”

“Why are you apologizing?” You asked incredulously. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Now you had wrapped him into another hug, but Bucky let himself relax, relieved that you weren’t pissed off at him.

Before he could say anything else, you had already moved on to Steve, joking with him about how he sucks at keeping a secret, and inviting him to stay just a little bit longer before heading home. Steve nodded sheepishly, even after seeing the 11:57 p.m. blare at him from his phone screen as he checked the time.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, thinking to himself that it was weird for him to find your mix of emotions and giddy excitement so endearing. However, he found himself still leaning against the car, in awe that he managed to pull this surprise off. Part of him felt like the protagonist of a Hallmark Christmas movie, moving heaven and earth for the girl he lo–

Bucky let out a cough, not letting himself finish the thought.

As he watched you drag Steve into the house, Bucky found himself alone with your dad who was still gathering the last of his things from the trunk.

“Oh, let me get that for you,” Bucky insisted as he grabbed one of the bags.

Your dad thanked him as he shut the trunk, turning to face Bucky but making no effort to move toward the door of the house.

“Bucky,” he called, his voice much softer than it was at the airport. “I’m guessing she’s the ‘good friend?’” he pat Bucky on the shoulder as he nodded sheepishly, looking down at the ground.

“Let me give you some advice, kiddo. Don’t think too much, life is so much better when you don’t.” With that, he also made his way inside, leaving Bucky alone in the icy chill of the night.

What did he mean by that? Bucky thought. I think a healthy amount, no more and no less, in fact, if I wanted to stop thinking right now I could. See? I did it. For a whole 5 seconds I stopped thinking. Or maybe he—

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bucky’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice. You walked over to where he was leaning against the hood of the car, looking into the night sky.

“I’m not really thinking about anything,” Bucky shook his head. “At least, nothing important.”

He looked down as you handed him a blanket.

“Well if you’re gonna sit here and think about nothing important, you should at least stay warm,” He unraveled the blanket, placing one side around his shoulders and extending his arm as an invitation.

“Join me for a bit?” Bucky surprised himself as he asked the question, and had to resist the urge to tense up when you shifted closer and allowed him to wrap the other side of the blanket around your shoulder.

Thankfully, the silence that followed was peaceful, and when you broke it with a quiet voice, he found himself leaning closer to hear you.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“For what?” He asked, giving you a gentle nudge, inviting you to speak up.

“For everything,” you answered. “For every late night study session, for bringing me back tea and croissants when you go to the cafe, for bringing my dad here. I feel like you’ve done so much for me, and I’ve just been kind of… a parasite since the beginning.”

Bucky felt his heart lurch at your words. A parasite? How could you think of yourself that way?

Your father’s words echoed in his head once again. Stop thinking so much, he told himself.

So he turned to you, and told you exactly how he felt. “You’re not a parasite, you’re a catalyst.”

You scoffed out a laugh, playfully punching him on the shoulder. “What does that mean?”

Bucky rubbed his arm, pretending to be in pain as you rolled your eyes at him. “It means,” he began. “That the moment you walked through that door, everything changed.”

“For the better, I hope,” you added.

“Well, for reference, I was finally invited to one of Tony’s exclusive karaoke parties. He said I’m a lot more fun these days. I even sang a song.”

You raised your eyebrow at him in curiosity. “Oh? What song?”

He shook his head, refusing to tell you, until you poked his side and he all but fell. “Dancing Queen by ABBA,” he admitted in embarrassment. “Don’t laugh.”

“I’m not laughing, I didn’t laugh,” you said with your lips pursed tightly together, trying hard to fight a chuckle. “What did you score?”

“100.”

“No way.”

Bucky nodded sheepishly as you finally let out your laughter.

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” you relented with a nod. “The Bucky I met in August would have vomited at the thought. I guess I may have rubbed off on you a little.”

“See? This is a symbiotic relationship.” Bucky chuckled, playfully punching your shoulder.

“Alright, alright,” you relented, pulling the blanket off yourself and turning to extend your hand to Bucky. “Now let’s head inside so we don’t freeze.”

A cozy meal and a few board games later, the clock read 4 a.m. and everyone was starting to lose it. Your dad had turned in two hours ago, after the first round of Monopoly ended with you claiming total domination and Steve and Bucky going bankrupt. After you begged your father to stay up, he promised he would only take a nap and that he’d be up by seven a.m. to get breakfast with you.

Still full of energy from the day’s excitement, you forced Steve and Bucky to stay up with you to play a round of Catan, only for you to be falling asleep halfway through it.

“Steve,” Bucky groaned sleepily as he lazily dropped the dice out of his hands. “Make us more coffee–”

He was cut off by Steve slapping his hand over his mouth. “Shhh.” Bucky sat up and slapped his hand away. “She’s finally knocked out.”

Sure enough, your soft snores were coming from the couch as you lay there peacefully, giving Bucky and Steve time to finally escape. Steve got up first, trying his best to move silently.

“I’m gonna make a cup of coffee before I head out,” Steve whispered to Bucky who nodded.

As Steve headed to the kitchen, he tried to stand up carefully from his spot on the floor in front of the couch you were on. He didn’t make it very far before he heard you call out to Bucky.

“Stay?” your voice came out with the softest puff of air, and he wondered if he imagined it.

If Bucky had any more self control, he would have walked away.

But when you reached your hand out in search of his, how could he bring himself to leave?

So instead he knelt back down beside you and decided that once again, he would stop thinking and let himself be in the moment. And in that moment, he was well aware of how his heart hammered against his chest and how his lips were quirked into a smile. Have you always been cute, or was the lack of sleep finally getting to him? Chalking it up to his sleepy deliriousness, he allowed himself to be just a little reckless.

He looked down at where your hand was still in his, and with his free hand reached up to brush a hair out of your face, his hand freezing when he felt your hand twitch in his. Your face grimaced just a little bit at the disturbance and he finally let out a breath when it settled back into a look of peace.

“Sleep well,” he whispered out before giving your hand one final squeeze as he pulled away, taking note of how cold his hands suddenly felt. He balled his hand into a fist and quickly opened it again, aware of all the blood rushing back into his fingertips.

As he stood to drape a blanket over your sleeping figure, he noticed Steve had returned from the kitchen.

“She’s out,” Bucky informed Steve who nodded back absent-mindedly, not quite looking at him. “Do you want a ride back to Scott’s?”

“Hmm?” Steve hummed before finally turning to Bucky. “Oh, no it’s fine, it’s a short walk and the weather is nice tonight.”

“You sure?” Bucky asked with his hands in his pockets, stifling a yawn.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded back with a small smile. “The coffee woke me up.”

Bucky relented and walked Steve to the door before finally making his way into his own bed. Against his better judgment, he found himself replaying the few minutes you sat outside with him, looking at the stars.

He let out a sigh, reaching for the book that rested on his side table, Pride and Prejudice, untouched since the day he read it at the cafe. However, he did not grab the book itself, but rather the bookmark that kept his page – a pink envelope still sealed, addressed to him.

Maybe one day I’ll open it, he thought to himself. But not today.

And with that, Bucky slipped into a deep slumber.

Maybe I’ll dream of you.

#Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #Bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan headcanon #sebastian stan x reader #James Buchanan Barnes #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes smut

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margowritesthings · 2 years

Text

Ghosts and Smoke

*i wrote this with this song in mind, so please feel free to listen for extra vibes!*

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 2791

warnings: SPOILERS FOR THE END OF RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2, angst, death, smoking, suggested post-sex scene

a/n: y'all i am GONE. it killed me. the end of red dead killed me and all i've done since is cry and write this damn angst. i'm sorry, but i'm also not. hope you enjoy!! also, thank you for all the love on my latest piece! im so glad youre as into this silly cowboy man as much as i am rn.

It was so quiet. You were used to the quiet lately, going it alone, but not here. Not Shady Belle, which was always full of laughter and fire and swearing and gunshots. The leaves rustled and your broken heart beat every so often but other than that, there was nothing. No laughter, no fire, nothing. You’d hitched your horse about a mile away, careful to keep her hidden well, so you were well and truly alone here.

You looked up at the house, still somehow standing tall amongst the ghosts and smoke and tried your best to take a deep breath. It was about 30 paces away from you, past the campfire, your old tent and the fountain. A twig snapped under your boot as you took the first step, fingernails digging little moons into the palm of your hand. You could do this. Just past the campfire and you’d be halfway there.

═══════☆═══════

“What’re you always lookin’ at when I do this, huh?” Arthur asked, meeting your eye and wearing that amused smirk that suited him so well, sending your heart fluttering each and every time.

That awful feeling people only get when they realise the other knows you’ve been watching them churned your stomach for a second. Honestly, you hadn’t even realised you were staring.

“Nothin’. I just… my daddy used to smoke those things. He always tried to teach me to roll them for him and I never could. You seem so good at it.”

Sat around the fire with some of the camp, Arthur had been rolling some tobacco into a cigarette. You always found yourself watching him, finding the way his fingers expertly knew what they were doing somewhat hypnotising. And then there was that moment his tongue darted out from his teeth to lick the paper, which was… a sight to behold, to say the least.

“I’ve got years of experience… I can teach ya sometime, if you’d like.”

The opportunity to spend more time with Arthur dangled in front of you, shining like a medal. You reached out and grabbed it, nodding at him eagerly, “I’ll warn ya, my daddy tried real hard. I’m a difficult student.”

Arthur’s head tilted, a cocky grin dominating his features beautifully before he pulled the masterfully rolled cigarette to his lips and licked down the length of the paper. You tried to remain composed while the air was stolen by an outlaw straight from your lungs.

“I guess I’ll just have t’work you real hard then, won’t I?”

═══════☆═══════

The camp always smelled like smoke, so the fresh air felt wrong as you stepped past the plot that was formerly the fire you’d spent so many nights beside. The logs and stumps repurposed into chairs still sat around the burnt blackened circle, waiting for people who would never again be together.

You kept walking, jaw clenched so hard your teeth ached. Your old tent caught your eye, at least what was left of it, singed and ripped canvas still hanging pathetically, tangled in a branch. In and amongst the ruins of your former home, your eye is caught by a piece of metal catching the dappled sunlight above. Kneeling down briefly, you pushed damp soil and leaves out of the way to reveal a metal cup trodden into the ground. For a silly little cup, it hurt far too much.

═══════☆═══════

“God damn it!” You swore, watching the tobacco scatter across your legs. Arthur chuckled, low and throaty, leaning against the tree your tent was hung around and taking a long, leisurely sip of coffee out of his cup. Gathering the tiny leaves back together on your skirts, you scowled at Arthur before starting to load the paper back up again.

“You gotta loosen up. Your fingers are too stiff.” He advised, watching his student intently. Easier said than done, really, hunched over a lantern in a tent, but you didn’t want to sound like you were making excuses.

“Right, yeah... Got it.” You mumbled, your tongue poking out between your teeth, a sure sign of absolute concentration. It was all in vain, though, as the paper crumpled at a funny angle and sent tobacco flying once more onto your person.

“Shit!” You hissed, flexing out your hands in a futile attempt to

“Alright, easy now…” he cooed, earning another glare when you realised you recognised the phrase and tone of voice from when a snake spooked Arthur’s horse.

“I give up. This is hopeless.” You tried to reach up to hand him the paper to roll his own damn cigarette and he stepped forwards towards you. Expecting him to take it, you were surprised when he instead handed you his mug and sat down right up next to you. You hadn’t been this close since he first rode you into camp and you felt so small flushed against his broad shoulders like this.

“Hold that, warm your hands up and I’ll show you again.” You obeyed your orders, doing just as Arthur said as he rubbed his own hands together, occasionally blowing into them. Without another word, he covered your hands, sandwiching them in between calloused palms and heated metal. The unexpected contact knocks you pretty hard, but you somehow manage to find the composure to mutter a thank you and hope you weren’t blushing too hard.

You looked up to Arthur, only to find he was already looking at you. When your eyes met properly, it felt as though someone had just lit a fire right beside you. The air felt… heavier? No, lighter. Both? You didn’t know and couldn’t quite seem to figure it out, feeling the fuzziness of 4 whiskies that you hadn’t actually drank.

All from the touch of a hand?

The moment was weighted now, and you both knew it. The quiet between you twisted and grew and almost became palpable, but you physically couldn’t talk, not knowing if any actual words would leave or lips or some incoherent murmurings.

“Here. Let me show you.” Arthur took his hands away and the lack of contact had you almost… pouting? You didn’t have time to examine why you were so disappointed, though, as Arthur sat behind you, his chest right up against your back. His legs pressed against the outside of you and you were worried that he was close enough to hear your heart, beating right out of your chest. He didn’t seem to notice.

“Y’have t’make sure you get it nice and tight, so the bottom doesn’t fall out…” His arms wrapped around yours and his hands cupped yours again. The contrast was stark, his tanned, hardened skin making your hands look even tinier. You couldn’t breathe, wedged between the smell of dried tobacco and coffee on one side and smoked tobacco and Arthur on the other. Your fingers so naturally followed what he was doing, and before you could even register it, you had a perfectly rolled cigarette in your hands.

“Oh shit! I did it!” You twisted slightly, only to see the excited grin on Arthur’s face as he watched you squeal proudly. He took the roll from you, placing it right between your teeth and pulling out a match. A questioning brow raised as he lit a match, suspending it in front of the cigarette until you nodded your permission and he lit it. You coughed. He laughed, chest still pressed firmly against your back.

“I’m real proud of you. Now y’gotta learn to smoke the damn things.”

═══════☆═══════

You left your first tent for the last time, vowing to never look back. Wet leaves clung to your boots, dragging across the floor past the crumbling fountain and some other tents being reclaimed by nature, muddy and covered in ivy. The final path up to the house was so familiar after so many hours watching it, waiting for your beloved to return from a job, wringing your hands with worry. The porch creaked as you stepped on it, the site of so many tear-filled reunions. The door was no longer on its hinges and fell with a bang at your touch, echoing out into the forest and sending the wildlife running.

You were home. For the last time.

═══════☆═══════

“I’ve got a surprise for you-uuu.” you sang out, hands held behind your back as Arthur stepped the threshold into the abandoned manor. He looked tired, but still managed a sleepy smile as you reached up to kiss him on the cheek. He caught the kiss, snaking a hand around your waist and pulling you closer for a more tender moment. You hadn’t seen each other in 3 days, Arthur off near Strawberry following a lead, so being back encased in his arms felt like home had come back to you.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, gentle smile tugging on his lip, “A surprise? For me? Y’shouldn’t have, darlin’.” The humbleness that appeared whenever you tried to do something nice for Arthur reared its adorable head and you shook your head, one hand still pinned to your back, clutching your gift.

“Close your eyes!”

“Alright, alright…” Arthur chuckled, holding his hands up in a mock surrender as he closed his eyes. You waved at him a few times, just to be sure, before pulling a single, wonky cigarette out from behind you and tapping Arhur on the chest.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. Nonetheless, his face lit up with pride as he realised what exactly it was that he was looking at.

“You did it?”“I did it!”

“Yes!” He was so excited for you, more so than you’d ever seen him and your heart swelled. This big, scary cowboy, pulling you into a hug and spinning you around because you finally managed to roll something smokeable.

“I’m so proud of you.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, and never told you that it fell apart before he had the chance to light the damn thing.

═══════☆═══════

The stairs groaned under your weight miserably, each step feeling more and more likely to collapse. It always was the loudest staircase you’d ever heard, impossibly difficult to sneak around on when trying not to let a whole camp know that you and Arthur were both going upstairs. Tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, but you knew if you started now you’d never make it upstairs. You couldn’t break, because there was nobody left to put you back together.

Every step required a more laboured breath, splinters half-heartedly brushing your fingertips as you traced them over the rotting bannister. You were alone, but the ghosts ran up and down around you, laughing and teasing and smiling and kissing and loving and taunting just how alone you really were.

A few more strides and you were there. His door was closed and for some reason that made it all that harder to breach the barrier and enter Arthur’s room. A shaky hand reached for the handle, twisting agonisingly slowly and pushing through.

Arthur always, always stole the breath from you, but it was always in the best way. Not like this, not how winded you felt seeing the empty, abandoned room. It was never exactly a palace, Arthur being the first to admit to that, but whenever you used to be there it had this… energy woven into the air. You realized, standing there in that moment, that it wasn’t the place at all. The place was… just that. A place, dying where it stood, rotting and filled with ghosts. The air was clean, but it couldn’t fill your lungs. You needed the fire, built by your soulmate, keeping you warm every night. You needed the cigarette smoke he breathed, tickling your lungs and coating his lip. But it was gone, stamped out and extinguished by God’s great plan. It hurt so much that you laughed, just once, harsh and loud, before your back fell into the wall of Arthur’s bedroom and you slid downwards, your legs finally giving in. Your lungs burned for the cry that just wouldn’t come as you pulled your languid legs towards your chest.

You hugged your legs close for a second, before the exhaustion reached your arms and they dropped to your sides. One hand hit the damp wooden floorboard, where the other hit something much colder, the ring on your finger clanging against it loudly. The sudden break of agonising silence shocked you for a second, instinct and past trauma screaming at you that you were in a shootout, but you managed to calm down quickly as soon as you figured out the cause of such a volume.

The floor fell out from under you. Not physically, though you wouldn’t have been surprised, but everything around you seemed to fall when you laid your eyes on the little metal box beside you, rust embellishing the corners and hinges.

Arthur’s tin.

═══════☆═══════

You felt the rise and fall of Arthur’s bare chest, your head resting on it as you tried to gain control of your own breath. The blood was still rushing in your ears as you came back down from the intense high what you’d just experienced with Arthur gave you. Limbs jelly, vision fuzzy, you pressed a lazy kiss to his skin. The fingers mindlessly running through your hair stopped, Arthur in a momentary contemplation that resulted in him reaching over and grabbing a cigarette from the table beside his bed.

“Pass the matches over will ya’, sweetheart? They’re in with my tobacco.”

You nodded, rolling over to your other side to reach over to your side of the bed, where Arthur’s stash tin sat. While Arthur waited, cigarette hanging limply from the side of his lip, you opened the tin and froze. There was the usual hit of the strong scent of tobacco, the little box of matches, and papers, but those were to be expected. What you didn’t expect to see was a charcoal sketch stuffed in there, staring back at you. It was a remarkable likeness, though you were sure you’d never looked as beautiful as how Arthur had drawn you, laughing in a way that lit up your whole face. The emotion was all too much, sitting in your throat and filling your eyes with wet tears.

“Y’alright? Are they in there?” A concerned voice asked, forcing you to swallow the overwhelming happiness for a moment or two, nodding, handing Arthur the matches and closing the tin. You nuzzled back into his chest, swirling a finger around the little hairs that trailed down his abs.

“I love you, you know that?”“I know. I love you too.”

═══════☆═══════

The tin was so cold in your hands, that cold that you could feel it through your shirt as you held it close to your chest, so hard it was though you were willing more into existence than was there anymore, as if Arthur himself was in there. One last deep breath to find the courage and the tin popped open. The smell of tobacco hit your nostrils and infiltrated your lungs and it hurt. The scent was so undeniably Arthur that it felt so wrong that he wasn’t there with it. He was gone, you knew that, but there was some hope in you that you’d find him hiding in the smoke, just like he always was.

Clumps of leaves were a little damp in your fingers, attacked by the elements, but you managed to gather enough dry bits and pull out one of the papers. It was cold, but your hands didn’t seem to notice. You had to do this, there was nothing else left. No leads, no job, no Arthur. Just you, alone in an empty room in a lonely house.

Your nimble fingers worked slowly, savouring the ritual of sprinkling in the grind, rolling it up and sealing it, just as he taught you.

That’s it. You got it, sweetheart.

Take your time.

You pictured him, arms closing you in as he guided the paper over with you.

Just one step at a time.

Soon enough, there was a cigarette wedged between your fingers.

See? Look at you.

The first few matches were duds, ruined by the water, but eventually you got one lit. You remembered Arthur, cupping his hands over the match as he lit to protect the flame from the weather. You did the same, not trusting the hole where a window once stood proud.

The tip lit and you breathed in. You coughed. You cried.

The last cigarette of Arthur Morgan.

You got this, darlin’.

You inhaled smoke. You exhaled ghosts, swirling and wisping around you, caressing your cheek just like he did.

I’m so proud of you.

#arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan red dead #arthur morgan imagine #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x you #arthur morgan x y/n #arthur morgan fluff #arthur morgan angst #rdr2 #rdr #red dead redepmtion 2 #arthur morgan fanfic #Arthur morgan #arthur morgan fanfiction #MargoFiore

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thestrangestthlng · 1 year

Text

Red White and Royal Blue - The MOVIE

I have some (spoiler free) opinions and I'm ready to talk.

My thoughts on the Red White and Royal Blue movie starring Nicholas Galitzine as Prince Henry and Taylor Zakhar Perez as Alex Claremont-Diaz.

First and foremost, I think the cast did an amazing job. Taylor's Alex was the heart of the movie and Henry's Henry was absolutely the soul. Sarah Shahi?? Let's be honest, she's another reason we fell in love with the book! They filled the movie with emotionality that is what made us all fall in love with the book in the first place. I don't think there was one wrong casting here.

It made great cinematic choices, imo. I loved the way they did the phone calls, and the lake scene - Nicholas gets a 15/5 for that scene.

I am going to try to keep this as spoiler free as possible, that being said. As an adaptation I give it a 3/5. HOWEVER, as a standalone movie it's easily a 4-4.4/5. Maybe even a 5/5 depending on enjoyability. This is not a flaw, it just is what it is.

Big changes: No June - sorry y'all, but that's what happens often in adaptations, especially ones that don't HAVE HP budgets. It's going to be very rare to get those kind of adaptations. No Congressman Luna. We have another bad guy with different motives. But that's all I can really talk about without spoilers.

Now, had this been able to be adapted to a limited series, it would have been a much better adaptation - look at Heartstopper.

All of that being said, I don't really care to hear anyone complain that it's silly, or unrealistic, cheesy or any kind of negativity that you wouldn't give a straight comparable movie.

Queer folk are allowed to have a silly romcom, or a romcom without trauma porn. Queer folk are allowed to take up all the room at the table if they so choose. Audrey Plaza would have had justification if this was her story and that's the kind of content I want. (If you know you know).

Queer people deserve to have a million movies where they get their happy ever after without the trauma of existence. The fact that so many people (usually those who aren't LGBTQ+) want queer media that is full of trauma p*rn and y'all that's real fucking weird.

Queer people deserve movies and shows where they have wonderful supportive parents who love them and only want what's best for them, and yes talks to them about needing the HPV vaccines and PrEP. Queer people deserve media where they get to do all the things that opposite sex couples get to do without it being taboo - sex in a supply room, stolen kisses in front of Alexander Hamilton, slow dancing in a closed museum, words and affirmations for their eyes and ears only.

So, this went on way too long, but enjoy it for what it is. And what i is is two young men falling in love, hooking up whenever they can, and existing in this world that so often doesn't want queer folk existing at all.

Excuse me while I go watch it a third time. kthxbyyeeee

(Also, the movie was dedicated to Taylor's sister, Kristy, who unfortunately passed away from a courageous battle with stage IV cancer a few months ago. Taylor said in an interview that she was looking for to it and let's all send him some love. Especially given that they are on strike and he's not able to share this with the world as much.)

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acoldsovereign · 3 months

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I see Eren...

I have a question as a humble anon. Im curious but, how do you feel about him as a character? And how AOT ended? I feel like your answer will be fun to hear. :) I had mixed feelings but idk. Seeing him made go "oh no" because like, I forgot the existed, lol sorry but also because of all the infighting that happened in the fandom. So I was wondering if you had any thoughts?

*ignore my typos if there's any

SUBJECT MATTER: OOC talks / fandoms // sender: anonymous // status--always open!

{{ Oof. Okay, so--I think I'm not the best person to ask about this because when THAT happened in the fandom, I was highly confused as to why people hated it. I legit didn't understand. I had to go back and re-read the manga and I still didn't understand why people were pissed? But looking back on it, I can see it. Before I continue on that point, I'll answer you:

I adore Eren. He's my poor little meow meow. My smol angry husbando. He's a complex, traumatized, aggressive, violent fucker. I love him. Many of my current muses are on the spectrum of 'ready for violence for whatever reason'. I think it's okay to like him. Folks don't owe you a ten page essay rife with sources as to why they like or don't like a character. Moral judgements shouldn't be made about what piece of fiction someone engages with; you're not their parent and shaming isn't cool, whether you're fine with what they like or not. Very rarely will you change their mind, and instead of blocking them/moving on, you're just making yourself upset/creating an unsafe/unwelcomed environment from those who think and engage with the source material differently from you. Putting the rest under a read more because spoiler territory.

With that said, the ending was fine--I quite liked it! It's tragic and sad for sure, but I had no illusions about Attack on Titan ending horrifically. It's a dark fantasy story that began with what's left of humanity defending itself from flesh-eating monsters picking them off one by one. If . . . you thought a story like that would have a happy ending (or would have romance in it--a complaint I saw in many, many places), I have to ask why. Why is that where your mind is when there's death and destruction on every page? Then the plot twist--Titans are actually people, and they were created and planted in strategic places around the world because of [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]. It's so fucked. You'd be lucky if your favorite character survived to the END. (Which, didn't happen for me. As I said, Eren gets love around here because I adore how layered he is. I did mourn another character who died earlier, though. And Eren's response to her fate broke my heart; yet another thing the fandom twisted around and made into something it's not). Point is--there is no real 'moral lesson' to AOT. It's a dark story made to entertain. The theme is "senseless violence begets senseless violence". It's funny because I was talking about this recently with the Eren I write with (@scarlxtleaves). Isayama himself in many interviews stated he just made it because he wanted to. Many times he was pressed for an answer and that's what he kept saying. There was one interview I remember where he did give a 'proper' answer (a generic answer about hope/optimism/determination, I think? Don't quote me on that), but it was because he was pressed for one--as if people couldn't just take him at his word. It's a bit sad, honestly. Not everything needs to be so deep--which brings me back to the fandom.

I think many people took the ending out of context, Eren out of context and used the manga as a way to attack Isayama. Many people were upset their ships didn't happen, some felt betrayed that Eren turned out be the ultimate villain/antagonist, some even went as far to send him hate mail, tell him his manga was horrible, that he should d*e, etc etc. Again, in hindsight, I understand all of this. I got whiplash too. 😂 I was like "for real??????? Y'all deadass rn???? Someone say SIKE" but nope, that's who he was--which encouraged me to reread and rewatch EVERYTHING. It all clicked and I went "how the hell did we not see this?!" 😭 So yeah, I get that Eren doing the Rumbling is extreme--but that's the point, he's BEEN that extreme since chapter and episode 1. We just didn't pay attention and thought he was bluffing. That's not the character's fault. And it doesn't mean he's written badly. He's not.

We just thought he wasn't gonna stand on business. Eren Yeager stood on that shit, 10 toes down. Genocide IS extreme (it always is, no doubt about it--and I'm not a fan of those who call Eren fans/appreciators genocide apologists because whoa??? Buddy, it's not that serious???? Again, we're not in school, we're not getting tested for morality or what have you, please take a chill pill. You're NOT getting a medal for being more moral or 'gooder' of a human than me because of . . . what character I like??????), but I get it. Don't blindly cheer him on but also: AOT Earth is NOT equivalent with our Earth. The cast is dealing with abnormal situations that we don't (people turning into giant weapons/human eating monsters, a government conspiracy to continue using SAID monsters, a even more secret plan by multiple world governments/nations to wipe out a defenseless island of people who have NO direct connection with the vile Empire that spawned them, etc etc). So if you're gonna put Eren on a crucifix, put the Marleyan government on that shit first. They LITERALLY are the reason why Eren's mom (and many innocent people) died/became mindless killers (the Titans), which made him want to kill them all in the first place. Put Grisha Yeager on that shit too, because he was a deadbeat ass father who ONLY had Eren just to pass on the Attack and Founding Titans BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD HIM TO. He's the same thing as Gaara's father from Naruto. Same reasons why they had their youngest sons. EXACT SAME. Unlike Rasa, Grisha never apologized to Eren. Not once for bringing him into such a cruel world, not once for forcing the Titan serum on him, not EVEN for SHORTENING HIS LIFESPAN (Eren would die at 23 or until someone else killed/ate him for his Titan powers), none of it. Annie, Reiner, Berthold--they BROKE. The wall. And allowed the Smiling Titan in--the same one that ate Eren's. Mom. Like, c'mon now!

#Intergalactic Messages - Received #Grayfaces of the Galaxy (Anons)#Tina talks about AOT #{{blacklist if you don't wanna see.#{{ there are spoilers in here too sorry! couldn't talk about it without explaining some stuff.#{{tl;dr if you wanna hate Eren - go ahead! but make sure you HATE the causes and environmental factors that made him what he is too.#{{ ppl keep harping on the mass genocide thing and i get it. really i do. but paradis had NO ALLIES. everyone wanted them dead/gone.#{{ the allies were Pretending™ to care so that they could extract the Titan Powers from Eren.#{{ paradis was fucked regardless and I think this is why many people are pro-Rumbling which is fair.#{{ but that DOES NOT mean the mangaka himself support or glamourized genocide wtf.#{{ the real threat of humanity is EACH OTHER. greed. ignorance. hatred. prejudice. not accepting things. Not moving on!!!! C'MON.#{{ why do you think he wrote paradis getting carpet bombed at the end after the main cast died of old age? pls think. PLS.#{{ stop making isayama (and eren) the boogeyman of the series when eren is a victim/product OF THE MAIN PROBLEM: SENSELESS VIOLENCE.

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doyouknowwhoyouare13 · 2 years

Text

Nyx reads Six of Crows (pt.1)

I didn't want to annoy anyone with too much spamming so this is just my general thoughts while reading! (PLEASE DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS HALF OF IT IS GOING TO BE ME BEING DUMB AS HELL SO)

(updating every day, so you guys can keep up with my thoughts in real-time without TOO much spam :))

LIKE I SAID THERE'S NO PRESSURE TO READ IT AND HONESTLY IF IT GETS ANNOYING JUST BLOCK THE TAG #★nyx reads soc! AND YOU WON'T SEE IT ANYMORE I GET IT'LL PROBABLY BE TOO MUCH CONSIDERING THERE ARE 40 SOME CHAPTERS NO HARD FEELINGS 😭

part 2

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

Started reading: 1/18/23

Finished reading: 2/4/23

Alright, since I didn't start this at the beginning of the book, I'm gonna summarize my thoughts from Chapters 1-4 in a few sentences:

AWWW JOOST AND ANYA SO CUTE, omgggg I'm in love with Inej AND Kaz, is this new? Nope. Uh oh, the girlfriend is gonna get killed. DAMN KAZ THE THREATS 💀 Jesper is so me. NOOOO JOOST. AND ANYA??? Who the hell is that. WHO TF IS JORDIE???? SLAY INEJ!!! Aww, new ship you guys!!!

Ok, that's all hope people understand it and if you don't, too bad. JOKING LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Starting at chapter 5 guys

Kaz is actually so smart

Oh Jordie is older-

I mean I assumed he was his brother but I thought he was younger

MEETING NINA!!!! (Ives said I'd like her)

omg. I'm in love with her. She has said one thing.

HIM BUYING STOCKS FROM THAT OLD MAN BECAUSE OF NINA💀

I can't believe they're only 17

I'm trying to be like Kaz

interested in Matthias like a lot

chapter 6 now

I wonder what Matthias did

omg another new ship

I'm still confused about the costumes

this prison feels like hell

so many gangs

WTF IS THAT THING

ROARS LIKE A LION

LOOKS LIKE A SNAKE THING

WHAT

AHH WTF I'M GONNA CRY

NOT PEKKA AGAIN

who would actually think of something like this 😦

It's sick

not sick in a cool way

sick in a WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL way

YOU'RE RIGHT NINA IT IS DISGUSTING

HOW ARE PEOPLE WATCHING THIS IN GOOD CONSCIENCE

ok maybe for the sick fucks

THEY CHOOSE TO DO IT

FUCK THE BENEFITS NO WAY I'M DOING THAT

omg they bet on it.

crying, screaming

"I'm mad at you, too" "I don't know yet. I just am." -me coded

oh Nina...this won't end well

ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!!

my two sides fighting ^^

NOT HIS HAIR

oh she down bad

Don't tell me killing wolves is against his morals- or his country's morals-

Omg. IT'S AGAINST HIS FUCKING MORALS- SOBBING SCREAMING PULLING MY HAIR OUT WTF

WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH

HE'S WISHING THEM FAREWELL 😭

IT'S TRYING TO KILL HIM AND HE'S PRAYING FOR THEM

AHHHHHH-

HE'S CRYING.

HE. IS. CRYING.

😭😭😭😭

I'm hurt, you guys. Very hurt. Might cry. Probably will.

Do you guys see how sensitive I am yet?

WHAT DID YOU DO NINA???

HIS MOTHER 😭 KAZ I CANNOT RN

Kaz is a slay per usual

I love the word barbaric

such a funny word

Kaz is literally a genius

No I won't stop saying that because he is

I just rolled my eyes so much I could see my fucking brain

Am I the only one who hates when guys act tough?

"I can take it" STFU AND LET HER DO HER WORK 😡

WHY TF IS HE CALLED GOOD BOY I WANNA BE CALLED GOOD GIRL BY KAZ WTF 😡

y'all I don't know who said that cause it wasn't me.

anyways

...oh such a lovely reunion!!! how romantic!!!!!

Chapter 7 ALONG WITH Part 2!!!!

first pov from Matthias!

we left off where he was choking her and now he's dreaming of her???

trying to be like them fr JOKING JOKING

Matthias would like Taylor Swift

I mean he used one of her song titles in one of his first sentences!!!

He's so me

just realized that said hunted instead of haunted

crying actually

I thought we had something Matthias.

now with me those instances would be switched, kissing Nina sounds very pleasant actually

oh Matthias is down bad too

SLAYYYY

MATTHIAS YOU HORNY BASTARD

Sorry that's rude BUT TRUE APPARENTLY???

OMG MATTHIAS GET OVER YOURSELF AND JUST KISS HER HOLY SHIT

Me thinks this is a enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again arc

JESPER'S HERE TOO? WOOHOO, THAT'S MY FAV FR!!!

I say that about everyone idek which one is actually my fav

"Boys like you weren't meant to get ideas, Helver," YOU TELL HIM KAZ!!!

"that Jesper character" HE IS CERTAINLY A CHARACTER INDEED BUT I LOVE HIM FOR IT

My girl killed something that no one had survived before her

Love her sm ❤

Kaz is a lot of things but at least he's honest about it 💀

LEARN HER NAME MATTHIAS 😭

I LOVE JESPER SM

my lord I think he wants to kill Nina, just a thought though

bro Nina fucked him up

GRISHA CORRUPTION??? HOLY SHIT THEY DO HATE THE GRISHA NINA WASN'T EVEN EXAGGERATING

Matthias drop the witch thing, it's getting annoying

A STORK- HE JUST CALLED JESPER A STORK 💀

THE DEMON. MY GOD HE LOVES NAME CALLING

SO SET ON THE KILLING THING MY GOD

oh he's so salty I love it

me thinks she will think about you, often (it's disgusting and I can't stop)

my lord Matthias, never getting on your bad side

does he genuinely think Kaz is a demon? like a demon demon?

New character y'all

OMG ANOTHER REMINDER THEY'RE ALL HELLA YOUNG

THEY SEEM SO MUCH OLDER

VAN ECK???

Chapter 8 IN JESPER'S POV!!!

I love Jesper he's so me

WTF HIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT (I say as I've been complaining to myself about how long the chapters are)

Jealous? I know what you are Jesper.

It's ok me too

JOKING JOKING

or am I?

Y'ALL LEAVE THIS POOR KID ALONE

THEY'RE ALL GOING IN ON HIM

don't have a repeat of Joost. Istfg I will sob. don't try me.

hey, hey. flute is cool too. (ok not as cool as piano but don't tell him I said that)

JESPER 😭

Wylan give me all your belongings rn.

Ofc Kaz is unfazed, it's Kaz tf do you expect?

JESPER I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH

Nina provoking him won't do any good 😭

God the dynamic between Jesper and Wylan

I want what they have

"You're all horrible" YOU WOKE UP AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TRYING TO STRANGLE SOMEONE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT. 💀

KAZ IS SO. SMART.

OMGGGG WYLAN 😭

"No" "it looks like a target" NOW THAT'S A SLAY

Chapter 9 ANOTHER SHORT ONE!!!

HA KAZ PAIRED JESPER WITH HIM

I feel a new ship brewing

Kaz ships Jesper and Wylan confirmed

KAZ IS SO FUNNY

Can you guys tell I like Kaz yet?

MATTHIAS IS ADORABLE

He'd probably try to kill me if I said that to him

But I only speak the truth!!!

I take that back

how stupid do you have to be to attack Kaz?

Kaz being the best per usual

Chapter 10, INEJ!!!

MY GIRL HAS RETURNED!!!

Can't believe I've already read like 5 chapters today

But some of these have been short, this chapter is too

And it has still taken me like 4 hours I think, I'm a really slow reader 😭

anyways

Inej and Kaz's dynamic never fails to make me laugh 💀

oh...guys now why would you say that

oh no the silent treatment 💀

KAZ WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATTTT

Inej's parents were the blueprint

THE FLOWERSSSSS

omg that place sounds horrible.

AHHH NO INEJ

oml my heart is racing

LYNX IS NOT HER NAME 😡

omg she names her knives I love her

I want to know more about her Saints

her knives mean as much to her as Jesper's guns mean to him

WTF DO YOU MEAN IT EXPLODED

NO. NO WAY.

Chapter 11, JESPER AGAIN ❤❤❤

y'all gonna explain the explosion???

WHO ARE YOU SHOOTING AT JESPER

OMG.

"Not a kid" me too Wylan but I also call everyone kid so 🤷

omg Kaz you're a lifesaver, literally

ok it's official, yeah there's def 3 ships here

I know what you guys are.

Matt DIDN'T use his first opportunity to kill Nina? DEVELOPMENT!!!

I am calling him Matt from now on

IT'S TOO FUNNY

AHHH JESPER-

IS HE INSANE?

BETTER THAN WINNING AT GAMBLING?

I'LL TAKE THE CARDS PLEASE WHAT-

"you can't kiss me from down there" SO YOU WANT HIM TO KISS YOU?????? CAUGHT YOU BITCH/j

OH YEAH WYLAN!!! PROVE THOSE BITCHES WRONG!!! YOU ARE USEFUL!!! SLAYYYY

Lawd this chapter brought my heart rate up

Chapter 12, MY BELOVED AGAIN!!!

WHY ARE THESE CHAPTERS SO SHORT

the ones in the beginning were so long

wtf happened

Who cares PARTAY

I hate long chapters

aw not the fucking black tips again

MULTIPLE GANGS?

WITH HIS BARE HANDS 😦

AHHH SO MUCH STRESS- INEJ ISTFG

OMG INEJ SLAY I LOVE THAT FOR YOU I CANNOT

INEJJJ

Omg you worried me.

Kaz to the rescue again

omg.

crying.

she's not gonna die but lord-

ISTFG.

AHHHHHHHHH

this book has a habit of ending the chapters on very worrying notes.

anyways.

Chapter 13, Kaz

scared fr ngl

another short chapter as well

omg he loves her so much

but I love her more so he can fuck off.

JOKING LOVE YA KAZ

trying to steal my girl though 🙄

HIS WRAITH

SOBBING, SCREAMING, PASSING OUT, RIPPING MY HAIR OUT.

STOMPED 💀 HE'S SUCH A CHILD I LOVE HIM

Awww they're so cute together... (Wylan and Jesper)

oh...now Kaz....his eye socket?

OH HIS EYE.

KAZ.

OH HE JUST- THREW IT OVERBOARD- NO CARE IN THE WORLD-

OH AND THE HANDKERCHIEF.

OK I LIKE IT PICASSO.

KAZ. ISTG. I CANNOT.

FUCKING ROLLINS? I SWEAR THIS MF JUST NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OUT OMG-

well bye ig

Don't mess with Inej guys you get your eye taken out and get thrown overboard

deserved

KAZ IS SCARY THOUGH HOLY SHIT

AND THE MY WRAITH THING AGAIN

I CAN'T.

JESPERRRR

I need to know what tf happened with Jordie.

Chapter 14!!! Nina is backkkk

This one is VERY long and by long I mean 15 pages so honestly I'm being dramatic.

Honestly the gang tattoo sounds like it'd look really good

YES NINA SEES IT TOO

Inej and Nina together>>>>

Best friends I say

I wonder if people ship them

I mean I guess I can see it idk yet though

Jesper and Inej 🤝 finding comfort in deathly weapons

Oh Jesper please don't start crying cause I will too

they're all so smart

how tf she know all those languages

y'all I don't think I like Zoya all that much

ONCE AGAIN SHE'S SO SMART

MATTTTT

omg she said he looks like a painting

crying, screaming

oh Nina..

um...everyone makes mistakes! you'll be ok!

ew. um. I would rather die, actually.

Me thinks Jarl Brum is a little bitch

I wish I understood all the words they're saying

NO. FUCKING. WAY. I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF THEY DO WHAT I THINK THEY'RE IMPLYING.

oh some boy to the rescue

oh nvm.

NINA YESSSS SLAY

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAYYYY UGHHHHH

omg she's going to kill him!!!

I support women's rights but I also support their wrongs

joking I know she won't kill him

ooh she called out the name calling too

glad I'm not the only one

OMG NINA YOU DID WHAT

YOU'RE RIGHT HE DOES HAVE A RIGHT TO DISLIKE YOU 😦

I don't though, still love you SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS!!! (/j)

OMG THIS HURTS.

I'M GONNA CRY-

Last chapter of this part, Chapter 15, Matty boy's perspective

Back to the short chapters

oh...violent per usual

WYLAN BITING THE DISK 💀

oooh Brum died? YIPEE!!!

omg Kaz 😭

HE'S SO IN LOVE

Kaz scary sometimes

AWWW HE'S WARMING UP TO WYLAN

"my ghost won't associate with your ghost)" MATTYYY 💀

CHAPTER 16, along with part 3, AND AN INEJ POV!!!

oh she's crying-

BEST FRIENDS!!!!!

3 DAYS?????

HELPPP THIS FRIENDSHIP IS EVERYTHING

I feel like Kaz has a death wish

OMG I NEED THEM TOGETHER. SHE CARES SO MUCH FOR HIM.

I LOVE INEJ AND NINAAAAA

not her bullying her singing 💀

THEY LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HER

THESE POOR CHILDREN

Chapter 17, AND JESPERRRRRRRR

I'd probably jump too, seems boring

HELP BOTHER WYLAN

they love each other

ok Wylan, come on now

JESPER IS JUST LIKE ME BRO

oh the lovers are quarreling

HELP "You're not dead!" JESPER 💀

Y'all...it's a good thing I'm a multi-shipper.../hj

"YOU'RE NOT INVITED" 💀

am I though?? I love waffles

Jesper is a people watcher

LIKE I SAID JUST LIKE ME FR

"Would it kill him to smile every once in a while" "very possibly" YALL 😭

Inej and Jesper friendship supremacy

omg Jesper loves Kaz

me too

AND HE ASKS ABOUT WYLAN

THEY'RE IN LOVE

WHAT

WITH HIS TUTOR???

SLAY WYLAN

SHE READ THE LETTERS I CAN'T

HE DOESN'T LIKE THE OCEAN EITHER????

JESPER WE'RE JUST SO CONNECTED

I told you Jesper has a crush on Kaz. "feeling his cheeks heat" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

idek if I'm joking at this point not

THEY'RE THE BEST CHARACTERS OUT OF THE WHOLE BOOK

I LOVE THEM YOU GUYS I LOVE THEM

alright day 2 (or 3, can't remember) of you guys putting up with my total BULLSHIT

Chapter 18, KAZZZZ

my husband fr

and Inej's

TRYING TO FIND AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO HER 😭

Kaz always has something over someone 💀

"tell me you know that. He needed her to say it." "He needed to know she believed him." HE WANTS HER TO TRUST HIMMMM

NO.

JORDIE.

OH THAT BITCH

BRO ISTFG

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

CRYING SCREAMING PASSING OUT OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I WANNA-

BE RID OF THIS DISTRACTION? KAZ BREKKER. ISTFG IF YOU LOSE HER BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID TRAIN OF THOUGHT I'LL CRY.

KAZ BREKKER. 😡😡😡

BRO "He didn't want Inej." YOU JUST FUCKING SAID-

OH. THAT'S A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE- POOR KAZ'S DAD-

HE GREW UP ON A FARM.

KAZ IS A FARMER BOY.

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY.

this is gonna be sad.

oh he liked the omelets :(

OMG HES SO INNOCENT

FUCK NOT WCS

OMG I CAN'T DO THIS RN

HE BLAMES HIMSELFFFFF

I'M GONNA SOB

JORDIEEEE

NOOO YOU JINXED IT

actually about to start crying

knowing Jordie dies hurt

WHERE IS SASKIA NOW

"That seems like cheating" and he does it now :(

omg Filip not a good idea

AHHH

he didn't.

he didn't just trick some helpless CHILDREN right?

OMFG HE DID.

OH THE RIBBON

OH THE METAPHOR

OMG OUCH HOLY SHIT

Chapter 19, Matty boy is back

Feel like it hasn't been his pov in forever

It's only been 4 chapters.

Embarrassing on my part 💀

anyways this chapter is so long

20 pages this time

still not that long but longer than the last time I complained about it

anyways

I love Nina

HE CAN SMILE???

He's such a child

it's so funny

Finally they're having contact without them trying to kill each other

OMG HE'S SO IN LOVE

AHHHH in a good way this time

uh oh running out of romance tabs

you ruined it Matty boy

I love that they say that

"Strange people" PLEASE

So real Jesper

Kaz has his priorities straight

money>>>>everyhing/hj

HE LEFT HIS CANE????

omg they just keep going 😭

sometimes I forget they're technically speaking another language

do none of them have mothers

If Matty betrays them istg

Don't pull a Peter Matty boy

Ah fuck I'm out of post-its for my in-book annotations

ugh I should've been better prepared 😭

omg I'm ALSO always in charge of making sure people don't start fighting

ONCE AGAIN, KAZ IS A FUCKING GENIUS.

omg Matty, I love you, but you're getting on my fucking nerves

KAZ PAIRING WYLAN AND JESPER TOGETHER AGAIN

PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SHIPS HIM

THERE'S NO WAY I'M THE ONLY ONE

AT LEAST YOU FOUND SOMETHING TO AGREE ON 💀

Matty, they ARE crows

HIM IMITATING THE BELLS

Because you're in love Matty boy, that's why

HOW LONG WAS NINA PULLING HIS HEAVY ASS BODY WITH HER? AND USING POWERS?? DAMN

awww they're so cute

if we look past the fact they are very close to death

um...

HE TURNED AROUND FOR HER

Nah I don't think it's intentional I think you just have a dirty mind Matty boy

"Then you're as stupid as you look" SLAY NINA!!!!

OMG MATT GET OVER YOURSELF AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

IT'S NOT NATURAL FOR SOMEONE TO BE AS STUPID AS HE IS TALL 💀💀💀

A BURLY SQUID????? NINAAA

AHHHH

"He lied. He did like the way she talked."

MATTY

oh god

GO OFF NINA!!!!

HOW IS ONE OF THEM ALIVE?

oh poor Nina

YES NINA STAND YOUR GROUND

Matthias. Yes I just said your real name. That is such a fucked up thing to say.

SLAY NINA

Chapter 20, NINAAA

the ending of the last chapter made me really angry at Matty boy so

also I'm officially halfway through the book!!!

oh Nina loves him so much :/

so down bad

I LOVE THEM

well I get why he hates Grisha if his family was killed by them

WE DON'T EAT BABIES 💀

Matt you do not have fun you seem like the most boring person ever

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD LAUGH I'M CRYING

Nina is so relatable

"Do you ever doubt yourself?"

"All the time." "I just don't show it."

OMG NINA JUST CALLED HIM OUT

fuck out of romance tabs

so cute though

OMG THEY NAME SHARED

AHHHHH

oh he angry

honestly has the right to

Nina now wtf come on

INEJ TO THE RESCUE!!!!

I might actually cry I found more tabs and I don't wanna go back

At least I have them for the future?

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF CHECKING MY BAG OMFG

IT'S A NEW FUCKING PACK TOO I'M GONNA START SOBBING

Switching general note post-its too BECAUSE THERE WAS A WHOLE FUCKING THING OF THOSE TOO

MY GOD 😭

how do you view Grisha as less than you WHEN THEY ARE LITERALLY BETTER THAN YOU IN SO MANY WAYS

ARE YOU CONTROLLING THE ELEMENTS? I DIDN'T THINK SO

CAN YOU KILL SOMEONE WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM? NOPE.

STAY IN YOUR FUCKING LANE

oh that's fucked up Kaz

ok well Nina is justified in all that

HE DOESN'T WANT IT???

WOOHOO

YIPPEE

HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER NOW

Summing up what I read in school! (so ten pages)

That food was probably disgusting, CANNONS? "WHO KNEW I HAD A TASTE FOR LITERATURE" JESPER 💀. Good plan, but also so incredibly stupid wtf. NINA. Inej's discussion with Matty is so true.

alright continuing chapter 21, INEJ!!!

my wife fr

Bro Jesper is just so me

Bro, I'd give this man the most amazing, mind-blowing, leg-shaking, eye-rolling, breath-taking, sheet-grabbing, sloppiest head he's ever gotten in his entire life

Who said that cause it wasn't me

Def not

anyways

OH NO HE FLINCHED

oh shit they're pressed together

his touch thing

oh fuck

don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

Matty boy scary

"IT LOOKS LIKE LEAVING THEM IN A DITCH" 💀

Nina and Matty boy are so cute 😍

IDEAL FOR FAKING SUICIDES????

This book gives me stress

OMG KAZ I'M GONNA CRY

FAINTED??? SOBBING SCREAMING RIPPING MY HAIR OUT

Chapter 22, KAZZLE DAZZLE

SCARED FR

oh their story is so sad :/

NOOOOOO JORDIE

OH MY GOD.

HE'S SO YOUNG

THIS ISN'T FAIR

I'M ACTUALLY CRYING

HE HAD TO USE HIS BODY

OH HONEY YOU'RE NO MONSTER DON'T SAY THAT

OMG HIM AND INEJ I'M GONNA SOB

OH NO HE'S PANICKING CAUSE INEJ ISN'T THERE

TANKS?

Kaz slays with the quotes per usual

JESPER 💀

OH LORD KAZ I'M GONNA CRY AGAIN

THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES JESPER

oh Kaz :/ I FEEL SO BAD

"Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages" KAZZZZZZ 😭

SLAY KAZ YOU DO THAT!!!

Chapter 23, JESPER!!!!!

He just like me but my father doesn't understand so 🤷🏻‍♀

THE LEG WAS ASKING FOR IT????? WHAT????

I WANT MORE WYLAN 😡

Love Jesper and Wylan so much

SINCE WHEN IS HE A FABRIKATOR

I LOVE THEM

THEY'RE BOTH FARM BOYS

Y'ALL THAT'S TOO FUNNY TO ME

THE FLIRTINGGGG

Chapter 24, NINA!!!

my other wife

so pretty much all of the Fjerdan are hella tall? scary

THOSE CELLS ARE HORRIBLE

poor Nina

UH OH UH OH UH OH

NOT AN ALARM OMG

Chapter 25, Inej!!!

even his gloves are genius

AH ISTG IF SHE FALLS

THE SHOES???

omg Kaz and Inej 😍

I hate this place.

EW HELEEN IS DISGUSTING

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

"Better terrible truths than kind lies"

so real for that one

please Inej, keep going 😭

THANK YOU RAIN OMG

THE STRESS

YES INEJ, YES IT IS!!!

Chapter 26, my husband

the only thing keeping him alive rn is revenge

KAZ YOU BIT HIM??? 😭

Genius at 9

A ROCK??? BRO KAZ WAS AS RUTHLESS AT 9 AS HE IS NOW

Rietveld

Kaz Rietveld

Idk doesn't have the same ring to it but that might just be because I'm used to Brekker

Kaz should teach me cards imagine how much money I'd get

OMG HE'S HERE?

KAZ

ok y'all I'm gonna start struggling I've used too many images so I have like 3 more chapters I can go between and then I'm gonna have to start a new post

I'm gonna cry

anyways

chapter 27 JESPER!!!

OH I FORGOT ABOUT THE ALARM

ok they're all good

for now

HELP JESPER IS TOO FUNNY THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION

NOT THE MENAGERIE 😡

chapter 28, INEJ!!!!

my wife fr

DEMON AGAIN 💀

bro how are they all geniuses

so we have a new plan!!!!!

WDYM MISS THAT LOOK YOU'LL BE SEEING IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

RIGHT? RIGHT??????

I like shiny things

omg I hate this

DON'T SAY THAT

omg Matty said it

JESPER 💀

Omg she's gonna leave.

OMG HE TOUCHED HER.

AHHHH

HE DIDN'T PULL AWAYYYY

omg she'd be such a good captain

they all have horrific backgrounds

I love Nina sm

HELP

"all I can see is your ass" 💀

THEY CALLED HIM A TULIP

BRO THAT'S BETTER THAN THE STORK THING

I CAN'T RN

DON'T FLIRT WITH HIM FLIRT WITH ME

OMG INEJ ISTG IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU

this is the last chapter I'm doing on this post

BUT CHAPTER 29!! MATTY BOY

I love Jesper

Bro loves her so much

we just moving past that??

HE DIDN'T SHOOT!!! WOOHOO!!!

#★nyx reads soc!

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