#sorry that the last ones are so short it's 1 AM here and my brain shutting down ;;

[shinysobi]

pretty u

summary: when joshua, your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but feel as though you're missing out on something important. jihoon, your other best friend, kindly offers to set you up with one of his many friends. chaos ensues, seungkwan is an observer who knows everything, and unfortunately, mingyu is a hapless victim.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader

genre: crack, fluff, angst

word count: 10k~ish

warnings: alcohol consumption, general warnings apply

a/n: angst central again lmao but there's something good for everyone ig hehe also dedicated to gigi, who's been the first reader of this hehe

a/n 2: reblogs/comments/likes are, as always, much appreciated! tell me if you like it lmao

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

Chapter 3

I learnt, at a very young age, that the best thing to do in any situation, is to ultimately do nothing. If you do nothing, then you will never fail. I’ve managed to spend my entire life doing the bare minimum, but right now? Right now, with Jihoon’s face half a feet away from mine, close enough for me to see the dried tears on his cheeks, I begin to wonder if it’s the best thing to do.

“You should say something,” Jihoon says, wiping his face, “I didn’t run half a mile uphill just for you to say nothing.”

What does he actually want me to say? I’ve furiously racked my brain to find the correct words to say to him; in the aftermath of the argument, but I’ve always come up empty. Its odd, and strangely humbling, this experience. Should I even say something? Am I allowed to? Jihoon stares at me, and it’s only then that I realise, he’s still holding my hands.

“I’m sorry.” I say, “I’m sorry for everything I said that night.”

“No, you were right. I shouldn’t have forced all those decisions on you when you were not—are not ready.” Jihoon says, “but I really can’t imagine myself in a world where I am not your friend.”

He leans down, picking up a plant, “for your kitchen garden. Your chive plant died last month.”

I take it from him, the lingering warmth of his hands on my skin, “this is your idea of a housewarming gift?”

“This is all I could get at such short notice,” he replies, “all the other stores were closed, so I got this from a street vendor.”

“That’s—unexpectedly sweet of you, Jihoon,” I say, turning to place the pot on the floor, “do you want to come in?”

Jihoon nods, before slipping off his shoes and his jacket, entering my still-unfurnished house. All of a sudden, I’m self-conscious about the state of the place, even if he has seen worse. What am I doing, getting worked up over Jihoon entering my home?

“Look,” he begins, standing in the middle of the kitchen, “these past few weeks have been a personal kind of hell for me. I know you don’t care, but I’m just putting it out there. Life without you, without seeing you every day, without talking to you, has been hell, and I don’t want to live in it anymore.”

“Jihoon,” I begin, but he holds up a hand, silencing me.

“I’ve felt like shit, knowing that you’re just out of my reach, to the point where even if I reach for you, you won’t be able to see me, to talk to me, to be the kind of person I know and love, and it’s been excruciating, having to live with that knowledge.”

“Jihoon, what are you trying to get at?”

He takes a deep breath, as if readying himself for something horrible, “what I mean to say, is that I lied.”

“What? You lied about what, Jihoon?”

“It’s about—” he throws up his hands, “don’t you have any alcohol around here? Why do I have to have this conversation with you while sober?”

“Jihoon, I just moved in today. Of course, I don’t have alcohol, you idiot.” I cross my arms over my chest, “if you have nothing else to say, then you should leave. It’s getting late, and I have a lot of work left to do around the house tomorrow. If all you came here for was to apologise  then it’s fine, I accept your apology—”

“Damn, woman, will you let me finish? I’m trying to get at something!”

“Well then, get at it faster!”

“I lied about getting over you!”

One thing I hate about this apartment is how silent it is.  In my previous apartment, at all times of the night, there would be someone making a noise, and I hated how it would disturb my sleep. Right now, there’s silence. There’s silence and then there’s us, standing in the half-dark. Jihoon looks like he wants to say something, but has been holding himself back. 

“What-what do you mean?” I say, after what seems like a lifetime, “what the fuck are you talking about?”

“I said that I lied about getting over you. I liked you back when I was doing my military service, and I still like you now.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I can assure you, I’m just as serious about this as I am with my work.”

“Then are you saying—”

“I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time, and I think I’ll continue liking you for a long time.”

“Jihoon, I don’t like you like that.”

“I know,” Jihoon looks pained, and for the first time in my life, I want to lie and say that no, Jihoon, I like you too, but I can’t, “look, my feelings are my own. You don’t have to reciprocate them. You and I are separate people, and I don’t want to impose my feelings on you.”

“Then why did you say all this?” my voice communicates all my frustration, “then why did you come here and tell me all this, if you didn’t want to sway me? You were the person who kept telling me to move on, and now you come here and tell me this?”

“Because I felt like I was dying!” Jihoon yells, “not talking to you, not seeing you, not being able to text you, all this made me feel like I was dying. I didn’t tell you anything because I wanted to preserve our friendship, but when I can’t see you around, my heart feels as though it’s stopped functioning. All I could think about was you.”

“Jihoon,” I say, hoping my voice doesn’t betray my frustrations, “you don’t like me in a romantic light.”

“Don’t presume my feelings.”

“I’m not! I’m just pointing out that we have been friends for a long time, and that your feelings for me might just be you overthinking your feelings of friendship and thinking its something else when really, its just friendship. I don’t think you like me romantically, Jihoon. I think you’re just confused.”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything for a long time. I would have felt better if he had cursed me, or if he had become angry, but all that remains of Jihoon right now, in this moment, is someone whose feelings are replaced with—just nothing.

Jihoon checks his watch, “look, it’s late, you should get some sleep.”

He turns around,  opening the door, and pauses for a moment before turning around. “I don’t care if you’ve stopped, or if you’re terrified of moving forward. I’ll stay there with you until you’re ready. I don’t care how long it takes.”

“And another thing.”

“Yes?” I ask, voice cracking in the middle of the word. This is going to haunt me in my nightmares.

“Your dream,” Jihoon says, hand on the door handle, “I’ll help you fulfil it. No matter what it takes.”

—

Seungkwan is at my door the next morning, even before I’m fully dressed, carrying a box of Jeju oranges. Even before I can open the door fully, he’s in my apartment, staring at my face. 

“My mom sent these for you, by the way,” he says, then takes a look at my face, “whoa, Sunbae, you look like you haven’t slept all night.”

“I know, I know,”  I mutter, “just had some things to think about, that’s all.”

“Think about?” Seungkwan starts to unpack my crockeries, “you look like hell. I’m not kidding, you look awful.”

“Wow, thanks, Seungkwan, that sounds like a great compliment.” I mutter, settling down into a chair, “coming into my home on a Saturday and telling me I look ugly, way to make a girl feel great.”

“I’m not being sarcastic, I’m concerned. There’s a difference.” He sits in the chair next to mine, “is there anything I can help with?”

“Seungkwan, you’re sweet, but this is something I can’t really talk about.” I mutter, “some things aren’t meant to be shared with everyone.”

And really, what can I say? ‘oh, don’t worry, Seungkwan, my best friend since university, the person with whom I haven’t been talking to for the past few weeks, came to my apartment last night to confess that he had feelings for me?’ How does one even begin that conversation? Not to mention the embarrassment that Jihoon would face if I were to ever spill the beans to the guys. He’s always been intensely private, even in his romantic affairs. To spill his secrets would just be cruel.

It's really, really not as though I haven’t received romantic confessions. There have been people who have asked me out, who have said that they liked me, from university classmates to people at work. Even in school, when all I could think about were university entrance examinations, and how I had to get into a university in Seoul because that was where my sister went too, I had a few people tell me they had feelings for me, I have had people get angry when I turned them down, I’ve had people get sad when I said, no, I’m sorry. Yet, all this feels new. What do you actually say when someone you’ve known for years, tells you that they hold feelings for you? What is the appropriate thing to say, especially if you don’t know what your own feelings are?

“You know, I grew up with three older sisters, right?”

“Yes, you keep reminding me of it every other day.”

“Yes, so,” Seungkwan leans forward, inspecting my face, “you look like you’ve got something weighing down on your mind. And while I might not be Joshua-hyung or Jihoon-hyung, I can be a pretty good listener.”

“No, I don’t think I can tell you this. It’s not my secret to tell, and even then, I don’t want to burden you with something that shouldn’t be your responsibility in the first place.”

“Sunbae,” Seungkwan asks, “does this have anything to do with Jihoon-hyung?”

I stare at him. “When did you get so fucking perceptive?”

“So, it is,” he leans back in his chair, self-satisfied and smug as hell, “I knew it. I knew he’d do something like this.”

“You knew?” I ask, and Seungkwan nods, “you knew, and you didn’t think of telling me? not even once? Not even a single heads-up?”

“And? What would we even say? ‘Jihoon-hyung likes you, please be advised he might try to confess his feelings?’ Would you have even liked it?”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t.” I shake my head, “really? This is something everyone knew about?”

Seungkwan nods, “I think most of us are aware of Jihoon-hyung’s feelings towards you, given how he acts.”

I hold up a hand, “Wait, pause. How he acts? What do you mean, how he acts? I’ve never seen him be anything other than perfectly normal with me.”

“That’s the problem with you,” Seungkwan clarifies, “your baseline is different when it comes to Jihoon-hyung. He treats you much more differently than he does all of us, and you’ve never noticed? Not even once?”

“No, clearly, I haven’t, Seungkwan, explain.”

Seungkwan takes a deep breath, as if trying to gather his thoughts into a proper sequence, and begins, “well, for once, he always does what you want, even if he is initially against it. With anyone else? You can’t even convince him to lift a single finger, but he drove all the way to the restaurant that one time, dropping the recording for Soonyoung’s new album. Sure, he didn’t get in trouble, but he did that just because you called.”

“He ran out of a recording session?” I have to repeat myself, because in all the years that I have known Jihoon, he’s always put his work before everything else. In university, he spent days and nights in the makeshift recording studio he had in his home, only venturing out to get food once every two days. Even his recording studio was off-limits to us, until he had finished working on a project. That Jihoon left Soonyoung in the middle of a recording session to come pick me up because I was drunk? “Should I apologise to Soonyoung?”

“The only person you should be apologising to, is me,” Seungkwan send me a dirty look that would have anyone else cringing, “I come here to help you unpack and decorate your home, and this is what I have to hear?”

“You’re a traitor. You’ve been hiding Jihoon’s feelings from me for god knows how long, and now you expect me to be nice to you? Get a grip on yourself.”

“This is,” Seungkwan wags a finger at me, “this is just shooting the messenger. You think the others haven’t kept his secret from you?”

“What? Even Jeonghan-oppa? He’s betrayed me too?”

Seungkwan smiles, “there are no allies in this stupid game you both are playing. We’ve all known about his feelings ever since he came back from the military and hung up that stupid photo of the two of you on his wall. He would have had it framed it if the quality wasn’t like it was taken on a microwave.”

I think about the picture, Jihoon with the flat cap and me beside him, flashing a wide, toothy smile. “He tried to get it framed?”

“Seungcheol-hyung had to talk him out of it, because it’s insane, having a picture of another girl framed and putting in your bedroom while you’re trying to get a girlfriend is not the best thing to do, in retrospect.”

“Ah yes, wasn’t this when he was dating the music major? The intern at the office?” I’m trying to keep my voice light, but unfortunately, I know everything about his past relationships, the serious and the casual. The girls at university, the intern he dated for a month before she dumped him, and the office worker who he dated for a year before she finally grew sick of him and left. “I don’t remember them that well.”

“Liar. You remember every detail.” Seungkwan grins, “just like Jihoon-hyung can recite the names of all your exes backwards if he wanted to, “You remember every detail about all of Jihoon-hyung’s relationships. Yes, this was when he was dating the intern, and Seungcheol-hyung pointed out that it probably would not be the best look to frame a picture of the girl your girlfriend hates, and put it in your bedroom where you could see it every morning and every night.”

“May we all thank Seungcheol-oppa for his infinite wisdom.” I say, and Seungkwan gives me a high five, “wait, she hated me? but I was nice to her! And not fake nice, which is what I generally am, I was actually nice to her!”

“She still hated you, though. There was nothing you could do about that relationship.”

“Really?”

“Really. It’s the same the other way around, too. Remember when you were dating that artist who hated the idea of Jihoon-hyung being around?”

“Oh, him? I remember that. He once tore down all the pictures I had with Jihoon, insisting that I was cheating on him. in his defence, we were twenty-three, so, I don’t blame him for making bad choices.”

Seungkwan groans, “this way, it’s going to take at least a hundred years before you wake up, too. Sunbae! Have you not realised it yet, or do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Realised what?”

“That you like hyung as well? That its not just him who’s chasing, but also you?”

I scoff, “no, I don’t like Jihoon! I don’t know why you are saying this, but I don’t like Jihoon. He’s simply a friend of mine.”

“You once drove to Hwacheon in the middle of winter for his birthday.”

“That’s different! It was his birthday, he was in the military, I had to do something! Besides, he only got one day for his leave, and none of you guys could go.”

“Sunbae, driving to Hwacheon is a bit too much, don’t you think?” Seungkwan stares at me, “you’re telling me you drove through snow and went halfway to North Korea for your friend?”

“Yes! No! I don’t know!” I wail, falling onto the floor on a heap, “all I know is that I want Jihoon in my life. I can’t live without him; these past few weeks, its as though life has lost its meaning for me. I don’t find my work fun anymore; I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore. I can’t give him up.”

“I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty romantic to me.”

I narrow my eyes, “you’re just enjoying the fun, aren’t you?”

Seungkwan giggles, “and what if I tell you I am?”

“I’d kill you.”

Seungkwan says nothing, just continues to grin as though he’s watching a sitcom, or a variety show. What would a variety show based on my life look like? Something like I Live Alone, but entirely for people struggling with romance problems; if I worked in a bigger broadcasting company,  I would have pitched this idea. People would get on there, and just talk about their romance problems.

“Sunbae—no, noona.”

Seungkwan calling me by the familiar honorific catches my attention. Since I have known him, Seungkwan has never once referred to me in that familiar a tone, always with the more respectful sunbae, reserved for departmental seniors. Especially since joining the news desk, he has refused to call me anything but. It gives me a sense of respect, obviously, but it also seems as though he has always kept me at arm’s length.

“You’re being familiar with me, Seungkwan,” I say, “what’s happened?”

He sits next to me on the floor, staring at me, “noona, have you ever really done anything for yourself?”

I give him a look. “What do you mean, if I have done anything for myself? Everything I do is for myself; I think we’ve established that. If you made a list of the most selfish people you know, I would probably rank top five in there.”

“That’s what you think. You always keep talking about how you’re doing things for yourself, but in reality, all you do, is based on the needs of others.”

“I think you’re trying to make me into a martyr, Seungkwan, when all I have done is be a selfish person.”

“I also think that you consider yourself to be a selfish person because that’s what you’ve been taught to believe.”

“Seungkwan,” I say, mildly, “look at the society we live in. its either hyper individualistic, or it’s based on outdated systems of collective identity; either way, I’m not actually doing anything I want to do myself. It is all things I’ve been taught. How to be, how to act, how to think.”

“And that isn’t wrong, per se, but you have to think, at some point, that your existence is based on how others think of you. Even with Jihoon-hyung, you’re just going off of what we might think of you, what he might think of you. Have you even figured out your own feelings?”

“And what if we break up? What if I say to Jihoon, that yes, I’d like to date you too, but we break up soon? Within one month, two months? I’m terrified of losing him, to the point where I’m happy to be his friend just to keep him in my life. Why else do you think I rejected him?”

“You rejected him?” Seungkwan screeches, “noona, you’re in love with him, and you rejected him?”

“Being friends with him is more important to me than being his girlfriend,” I say, “to be his girlfriend is something I don’t want to imagine.”

“Because you don’t want to be his girlfriend, or because you don’t want to get your hopes up?”

I groan, lying back down on the floor, “I don’t know, and I don’t want to think about it either.”

Seungkwan smiles, “hey maybe, you should try and think about what you want to do, before doing what everyone else expects of you. Even if that’s what you are going to end up doing anyway, maybe, you should at least be aware of what you want.”

—

On Monday, I walk into the office with my eyes bloodshot, and dark circles underneath them, ten minutes after the team meeting has begun. Both the Editor and the Assistant Editor take one look at my face and decide not to tell me anything for showing up late to the meeting.

“We were talking about your column, Sunbae,” Haewon says as I nurse my coffee, “the readers loved it. We’ve been getting so many responses and letters to the office after you began the column.”

“We are?” I ask, “who the hell is screening through the letters, then?”

“I am,” the Assistant Editor says, “I figured you didn’t need one more thing on your plate, and I sorted out whatever you had to. For the first time in a long while, we have fan mail coming to the office.”

“Huh?” I catch the last part of that sentence, “we have fan mail?”

“Yes, and a lot of it, too,” the Assistant editor smiles at me, “at this rate, we might start a radio show if we have the funds for it.”

“We’ll never have the funds for it,” I wave a hand, “having a radio show is out of the question.”

“Still, it seems nice that the desk is getting a lot of other attention too, other than doing book reviews and movie reviews.” The editor says.

“You do realise, all this is coming at the expense of my sleep?” I grumble, “this is the worst idea you could ever have. A radio show? I can barely talk to people. You want me to go on a show and talk to people in real-time?”

“Yes, yes, which is why we are not thinking about it,” the Editor clarifies, “you just need to continue writing the column as you have been. That much is enough for the desk.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, Sunbae,” Seungkwan slides an energy drink towards me, “it’s enough for the desk if you just do things as they come by. No one is asking you to do more than what’s required.”

“You say that now, Seungkwan, but pretty soon they’ll be asking favours from you, too.” I smile at him, “don’t let anyone walk over you here. Its difficult to stop them once you’ve begun letting them have their way.”

During lunch break, Seungkwan sidles up to me in the cafeteria, where the members of the desk have congregated (on news of them serving galbi-tang), and asks, “Sunbae, have you finished moving in? Jeonghan-hyung wanted me to invite you to a party this weekend.”

“Why didn’t he invite me himself?” I ask through a mouthful of beef, “has he lost my number?”

“No, he’ll probably invite you personally, but he wanted me to tell you beforehand.”

I narrow my eyebrows, “what am I, some sort of minister? Why are there levels of protocol when approaching me for an event?”

Seungkwan shrugs, “you know how Jeonghan-hyung is. You once told him you were uncomfortable at a party, and he’s taken that to heart ever since.”

I roll my eyes. The party in question was one thrown in the first year of university, after appropriate introductions had been made, and me and Jihoon had been invited out to a party by Joshua and his friends, where I got blind drunk and regretted it the next morning. Ever since that night, the boys have been particular about when to invite me out, none more so than Jeonghan, who apparently vetted all his invitations through Seungkwan, “tell him I’ll be there. And from now on, don’t let him vet his applications through you. If he wants to invite me out, he can call me himself. I don’t mind.”

“You do realise, if I relay your message verbatim to hyung, he’s going to be even more cautious of you?”

“Well, I’ll tell him myself, then.”

“Don’t tell him.”

I stare at Seungkwan, who looks serious, “really, sunbae, let other people care about you once in a while. Jeonghan-hyung is only mindful of your boundaries because he doesn’t want to overstep. He doesn’t see you as a burden, or as someone he needs to treat with kid gloves for the rest of his life.”

“Well, doesn’t matter what he thinks. If he continues to treat me like I’m a child, others might get annoyed with his actions.”

“Others? You mean the people that respect you and are cognizant of your boundaries and your shortcomings?” Seungkwan places a piece of meat in my rice bowl, I’m almost done with eating, “sunbae, people that make accommodations for you aren’t doing it because they secretly hate you, or that they’re bothered by your presence in events. They’re doing it because they want you to be there, and they like you enough to go out of their way to make a place for you at the table.”

“Seungkwan, this is much more complicated than that.”

“I don’t see why it has to be so complicated,” he says, standing up, “you keep being kind to people, but when they want to extend that same kindness to you, you reject it, saying its excessive. Aren’t you hurting yourself in the long run?”

“Seungkwan,” I hold my head in my hands, “I can’t just change my way of thinking.”

“Yes, I know,” he shakes his head, “just that—you should try at least.”

—

When I enter my apartment that evening, there’s a cloud hanging over my head. Its not simply the absence of Jihoon, but also Seungkwan’s words. To think that I haven’t been trying to accept the attentions of people, well, why am I trying to deny it? its correct.

My phone rings, and I pick it up without even checking the caller ID, “hello?”

“I had to hear from Jihoon that you had moved.”

I sigh. This is the last think I wanted to do at this moment, have a conversation with my mother, “sorry, I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to talk to anyone. I was too busy with work these past few weeks.”

“Still, it would have been nice to know that you moved, from you, and not from Jihoon.”

“Wait, mom, why—why are you talking to Jihoon instead of me?”

My mother laughs on the other end. It’s a nice thing, to hear her laugh, “because Jihoon, no, not just him, all of your friends call me more than you do. Jihoon even came by our house a few weeks ago, and had a meal with us.”

I sigh, “really, Jihoon—he’s going to piss me off at this rate.”

“No, don’t take out your frustrations on Jihoon. He’s a nice boy.”

I wonder how my mother would react if I told her that her ‘nice boy’ stormed into my apartment and told me he was in love with me ever since he went for his military service. She would probably jump with joy. “Sorry, mom,” I say, hoping my thoughts aren’t seeping into my voice, “I just started a new column at work.”

“Really? That’s so nice, I hope they aren’t overworking you.”

“No, mom, they’re not. I came home right on time today.”

“That’s good.” She says. I say nothing. What else is there to say? For someone who’s been alienated form their family for so long, all that remains is a string of hollow formalities and conversations that die out in a moment.

“How’s my sister?” I ask, in an effort to continue the conversation, “has she talked to you recently?”

My mother perks right up, “have I told you, your sister is getting married? She’s marrying Yong-Hwa in the spring. Has she not told you yet?”

In fact, my sister had told me, had told me how she was getting married to the love of her life, a prosecutor, and how she was envisioning the rest of her life with him, with children, a happy home, and more. It made me jealous; to see someone achieve their dreams when you are struggling with your own is not an easy thing.

“I heard,” I say, “how’s dad? Are his health problems persisting? Should I send more vitamins?”

“No, no, he’s perfectly fine. He’s still working as a lawyer, even though the doctor has told him not to. He says he’ll continue to work till he’s eighty.”

“Hah…dealing with father is tiring, isn’t it?” I groan, “I’ll come down the next time I get some time off. I’ll talk him into retiring properly.”

“You don’t have to do that,” my mother says, “knowing that you’re working hard is good enough for me, at least, this way, I can think that you’re doing well.”

“That’s good, then,” I reply, “sorry, mom, I’m getting another call. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, but don’t go for too long without talking to us.”

This is fine. To know that my parents are doing well, its okay. I can hold on for longer if that’s what helps them. I’ll be the daughter they’re proud of.

��

I’ve been wandering for far too long. Always trying to be the best version of myself. But what lies at the end of this journey? Is it just a means of fulfilling my parents’ wishes?

On most days, I want to be alone. So, I push people away, just to benefit myself. It has got nothing to do with how I feel about them, it’s just how I feel most at ease. I’ve always been on my own, its just easier. Its easier to be the person people relied on, instead of the person who had to rely on others. But just for once, I’d like someone to tell me that it will be okay. It will be okay to break down, that it will be okay if I fail. My life has been so barren, that even trying to do anything otherwise is too much. For so long I’ve been someone whose life has been dictated by the wishes of others, that I fear I wont even be able to live well if I decided to live by my own.

What does it mean, to have a dream? I had a letter sent to me, saying that their dream is to find happiness on their own. Well, happiness is something that comes after a long time. I’m searching for it too, but I hope you find it, sincerely. To walk towards happiness isn’t something that’s easy. But I appreciate you for taking that step. To walk towards what you want. What you need.

There’s another letter, that says, ‘I don’t have a dream yet’. Don’t worry, a dream isn’t something that’s complicated. They aren’t supposed to be; you’re supposed to find something that makes you happy, that makes you want to live again. That’s all. that is all there is to a dream. All around us, people are living day to day, they’re living without finding what makes them happy. I hope it finds you soon.

I’m tired. I’m tired of trying to find something that gives me purpose. The way I’m living now, it’s enough for me, to live an average existence, to live in a way that gives me peace, if not happiness.

What happens when that peace is taken away, too?

—

Jeonghan throws good parties. That’s a given. It’s not as though he invites many people, or that his parties are a riot of good fun, but he always makes people feel at ease, if not with his actions, then with his words. Its who he is. A source of constant comfort, that I feel guilty for trying to take advantage of.

I arrive at his house after finishing work with a bottle of wine, hesitating before I press the doorbell. Jeonghan lives in a house in the middle of Seoul that he got for dirt cheap because the people who lived in there were violently murdered in the early ‘00s, a fact that I had asked him about once, and he had simply brushed it of by saying that if there were ghosts, he would befriend them. I’d given up on asking him after that one exchange.

The door opens within ten seconds of me ringing the doorbell, and Jeonghan greets me with a wide smile, “I thought you wouldn’t come! Can I give you a hug?”

I nod, “I told you I would be there,” but the rest of my sentence is drowned out by Jeonghan enveloping me into a large hug. He smells like an expensive perfume, mixed with the familiar smell of chicken and beer. Ah, so its that kind of party.

“Make yourself at home, the rest of them already have.” He says, ushering me into the living room, “the rest of the boys are already here. We were just waiting for you.”

“Waiting for me?”

“Because, my dear writer, you’ve always turned down any invites for parties for five years now. Now that you’ve accepted my invite, you’re the star of this gathering.”

I don’t say anything, but my discomfort must have shown on my face, because he suddenly stops me, “hey, just so you know, I meant that as a joke. Seungcheol just got a big promotion at work, so he’s been bragging about that for an hour now. I doubt anyone will pay attention to you.”

“That’s nice.”

All around the low table, there are cans of beer, snacks, and boxes of fried chicken. Jeonghan must have prepared for a lot of people to come. Seungcheol is talking about his job, how he was now the team manager of marketing, and how happy it made him, to have so much responsibility at such a young age. There’s Chan, Vernon, and Seungkwan, gossiping about their respective fields of work, and Mingyu is sleeping on the end of the table, while Minghao and Wonwoo talk about how work has been nowadays. Jun is noticeably missing from the group, but I can see him in the kitchen, making himself another drink, and then, there’s Jihoon. Seated between Joshua and Seokmin, talking about something I can’t hear. I stand still in my tracks, unable to move. What do I say? After rejecting him so painfully, what do I say? I’m sorry, Jihoon? Sorry about what? Sorry about not being able to accept genuine affection in the fears that it might ruin the one good thing I have for myself?

“Aren’t you going to sit?” Jeonghan asks, gesturing to a seat beside Jihoon, “I thought you would be more comfortable if you sat beside Jihoon, since you’ve known him for longer.”

In fact, I’d rather sit anywhere other than beside Jihoon, but I take the seat next to him gingerly, and Seokmin eagerly moves over. Seokmin is like a child, eager, soft around the edges, and someone you want to protect, no matter what. Maybe if I could look into people’s minds, Seokmin’s would be pure, devoid of any harshness of the world; is that why I tried to protect him even when I had no right to?

“Noona,” Seokmin giggles, “have I told you about the play I’m performing in? I’ll give you a ticket, so you have to come, okay?”

His energy is so infectious, I can’t help but smile with him, “of course, I’ll come to see you.”

“Are you okay?” Jihoon asks, his voice so quiet I barely miss it, “you don’t really come to occasions like these.”

“Felt like it,” I mutter, “new year, new me, or should I say new apartment, new me?”

Jihoon laughs, “yeah, you seem like you’ve changed. Your hands are shaking.”

I look down at my hands, and true enough, they’re shaking. Whether from nervousness or something else entirely, I don’t know, but they’re shaking. I ball my hands into fists. Whatever happens, don’t let anyone know what you’re going through. “just tired, perhaps.”

“You have been working too much,” Joshua pipes up, “you never reply to any of my texts anymore.”

“That’s because you keep asking me about flower arrangements,” I reply, “why would I look at flowers when I can’t smell them?”

“Sunbae is very busy at the news desk,” Seungkwan pipes up, “did you know, she has a new co—”

“Shut up, Seungkwan,” I  mutter, reaching over to stuff a chicken leg in his mouth, “the work has been just harder these few days.”

Jihoon stares at me; it’s the same look he has in his eyes whenever he’s landed on something to probe, and sure enough, he asks, “why? What’s going on at the office?”

“Nothing!” I say, far too quick for it to even go past Seokmin or Joshua, (whom everyone, not just me, have deemed as the most scammable) “its nothing! Seungkwan just wanted to brag about his workload to everyone else.”

“Why the fuck would he do that?” Vernon asks, but is largely ignored by Jeonghan (my angel prince saviour Jeonghan) who arrives with drinks, a grumpy Jun in tow, announcing, “who wants shots!” and despite pushing thirty, Seungcheol, who had paused bragging about his work promotion, raised his hands, grabbing one of the shot glasses. Even Mingyu wakes up from his nap, raising his hand in the air and grabbing one of the shot glasses. They’re all going to regret it, I think to myself, then, feeling Jihoon���s eyes on me, grab a couple of the shot glasses myself. The drink is sugary, and multicoloured (Jun once wanted to be a bartender in university). It goes down far smoother than expected, since I’ve had Jun’s drinks since university, and they have tasted like battery acid far too many times for me to expect something nice out of his concoctions.

“This is actually nice,” Chan says, “hyung, what did you put in this?”

“Won’t be telling you,” Jun pulls a face, “you’ll just make it for other people and then take credit for it.”

Of course, this ensues in a squabble, with Chan loudly protesting that he would never do that to his beloved Jun-hyung (he would, I know) and Jun proclaiming that Chan is nothing but a dirty jerk who wants to put his grubby little hands, on Jun’s hard work and his creation (most likely, it was from a Reddit forum on bartending). One by one, the rest of them enter the argument, and I lean back into my seat, laughing at their antics. Its always chaos when I meet the boys, but somehow, its also peaceful. They’re loud, boisterous, and from whatever pictures Joshua and Jihoon had shared from their one shared ‘boys’ trip’, dirty as hell (these people laid out a carpet of towels instead of just drying their feet) but they know how to put someone’s mind at ease. Or at least, my mind at ease. I don’t know about others.

Its almost two in the morning when they quiet down. Jeonghan might have bought this house because it was dirt cheap and he wanted to make friends with the ghosts, but this house has one of the most gorgeous verandas I’ve ever seen. It looks out onto a peaceful Seoul street, and in the middle of the night, there’s no one here to complain if I smoke a cigarette.

I light one up, letting out a puff of air as I sit down on the marble flooring. It has been a long time since I smoked a cigarette (three days), and some of the smoke goes into my eyes when I let it out of my lungs. Its not enough to make me cough, but my eyes water nonetheless.

“You can smoke inside, if you want.” Jeonghan appears at the corner of my field of vision, “in fact, I think Minghao is smoking one right now.”

“Just wanted to get away from the noise a little,” I say, shaking the cigarette, “want to sit beside me?”

He shrugs, but crosses his legs and sits beside me on the marble flooring anyway.

After barely a minute, he turns to me, and without any warning, says, “so, has Jihoon told you he’s in love with you?”

I start coughing. Big, hacking coughs, and he just stares at me while I recover. I cannot believe I called him my saviour. “What—what do you mean?”

Jeonghan, the irritating bastard, still has that same, serene smile on his face, “you can’t possibly think that we all spent the last few years with our eyes closed now, have you? We’ve all known about Jihoon’s feelings for you, and now that you’re here, I can see that its reciprocated.”

“Wha-how are you even making these assumptions? I don’t have any feelings for him!” I whisper, “and yes, I know about his feelings. Even if they caught me somewhat by surprise, I’m aware of what kind of feelings he has for me.”

“And?” he leans close, “how does that make you feel?”

“How should it make you feel? I feel worried.”

“Worried?” he pulls a face, “if you wanted to get him off of your back, you’d say something like ‘I feel uncomfortable’, but you aren’t, because you don’t really feel uncomfortable, do you?”

I stare at him, fuck Jeonghan and his perceptive nature. “it’s not that I don’t feel uncomfortable, I just-don’t see the point in his confession.”

“Why? Why would a mere confession have you feeling this way? If you don’t want to accept it, then just say so. No one here,” Jeonghan points to the room, “will fault you for that. In fact, I think they’ll all commend you for it. Jihoon can be a tad bit difficult at times.”

I scoff, “he’s not difficult, he’s just—Jihoon.”

Jeonghan laughs, “see, I knew it. I knew there was something else there that you weren’t letting on. Now, come on, tell me,” and then spreads his arms wide, “tell oppa what’s bothering you.”

“If you refer to yourself as oppa again, I might have to kill you.”

This time, he laughs loud enough for people to hear inside, “fine, fine. I won’t be doing that anymore. But tell me, my dear writer, have you never thought about it? even once?”

I shrug, “of course I have. Everyone has those kinds of thoughts once in a while, I’m no different from the others, of course I’ve thought about it.”

“And?”

I shake my head, “nothing good will ever come out of it, because it’s a fifty-fifty chance. We either stick together until the end of time, or we break up and I can’t interact with him ever again.”

“So, you’d prefer to not try at all.”

“Yes, that’s exactly it.”

Jeonghan says nothing for a long time, and then finally, shrugs, “it’s your choice. If you don’t want to do something, then you shouldn’t force yourself to. But can I tell you something?”

“Yes?”

“When did he say that he started having feelings for you?”

I think for a moment, “since his military service.”

Jeonghan grins, sly, just the way I know his smile works, “As someone who’s seen Jihoon since his university days, I can tell you something. He’s got it wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Yes. He’s liked you since the day you walked into his life. There has been no moment in time when he was not in love with you. He might have realised it late in life, but he’s always been in love with you.”

I stare. Jeonghan isn’t the kind of person who makes random statements, so for him to say this, its strange. Jihoon has been in love with me ever since the first day? but that doesn’t make sense. “You do realise he’s dated other people too, while he was friends with me?”

“Of course, I know that. Both you and him have been running away from your actual feelings, but that doesn’t make it any more apparent that you have both been in love with each other since the day you met. Or at least, it has been that way for Jihoon.”

With that, Jeonghan stands up, dusting off his trousers, “there’s a guest bedroom in there for you. If you’re tired, just go inside and sleep.”

I look inside, where Chan is currently trying to balance a beer can on his forehead, “and the rest of them?”

“The rest of them can sleep on the couch,” he says, “it’s the least they can do after creating such a ruckus in my own home.”

“But you invited them.”

There’s a slightly evil glint in his eyes as he says, “yes, yes I did.”

—

The next morning, I wake up to people talking all over themselves, and the smell of pancakes wafting in the air. That has got to be Joshua. After cleaning up in the attached bathroom, I walk out of the guest bedroom, coming face-to-face with Jun, who’s carrying in his hands a very large tray, heaped with pancakes and a singular glass of milk.

“Is this for me?” I ask, and he nods, gesturing towards the kitchen, where Joshua is busy cooking a meal for thirteen people. Or fourteen, if you count me.

“Sorry, I can’t have breakfast right now,” I sidestep past him, and Jun follows me out into the kitchen, “sorry, but I have to leave right now.”

“Without having breakfast?” Jun asks, setting the tray down, where Chan promptly picks one up and stuffs it into his face, “you should have something at least.”

“Had too much to drink last night,” I offer up as a feeble excuse, avoiding Jihoon’s gaze. It’s strange, piercing in a way that I am not really used to, “I should probably get going. There’s still so much to be done in my apartment.”

“Speaking of apartments,” Wonwoo speaks through a mouthful of pancake, “when are you going to call us all over?”

“As soon as I can,” I reply, “I’ll host a potluck. You all can bring a dish, and it’ll be a party.”

“Instead of that, just make Mingyu cook,” Soonyoung grins, “he’ll be eager to help if it involves you. And cooking. But mostly, you.”

I open my mouth to say something, but Jihoon stands up, slipping on his stupid khaki jacket, “here, I’ll give you a ride. Come on, then.”

“Ah but hyung, you still have so much on your plate—” Chan is promptly cut off in the middle of his sentence by a swift elbow to the ribs by Seungkwan, “hyung! Why the hell did you do that?”

Jihoon ignores the squabble currently breaking out at the dining table, and stares at me, his car keys dangling from his left hand, “want to come?”

Before I can say anything to accept the offer of a ride, Soonyoung raises a hand, “Jihoon, weren’t you supposed to meet the other producers and sound engineers today? I’m supposed to be there too, but will you not be attending?”

Even though Jeonghan hisses at Soonyoung to shut up, I can already see the cogs in Jihoon’s mind turning. Clearly, he wanted to talk to me, or at least, he wanted to make an effort to talk to me, “I’ll take a taxi, then.” I say, trying to make an excuse for myself, “don’t worry, Jihoon, you don’t have to drop me home.”

“No, I can drop you off and then go to the office,” he begins, but Joshua cuts him off (while wearing a Rilakkuma apron) saying, “can’t Mingyu take her home? He’s going in the same direction as her, so he can drop her easily. You don’t have to overexert yourself and drop her off at the apartment when you’re going in the opposite direction.”

While not one to turn down a free ride, I raise my hand to complain that I don’t need to take Mingyu’s car to go back home, but Mingyu walks into the room at that moment, and before I can say anything, Joshua turns to him, saying, “are you going back home right now?”

“Yes, hyung, I’m off for the weekend since Minghao is handling the meetings this time around,” he says brightly, “I can drop her off!”

“That’s settled, then,” Chan announces, “Jihoon-hyung can take Soonyoung to the company.”

“You brat,” Soonyoung scowls, “why is Jihoon hyung and I’m just Soonyoung? Do you have no respect for your elders?”

“I once saw you vomit into a flowerpot,” Chan says, “at that moment, you lost all respect in my eyes.”

Before another scuffle can break out over breakfast, Mingyu says loudly, “I’m leaving then!”

—

I’m a big fan of travelling in silence. Even if it is with someone I like, I prefer to sit in silence and contemplate, instead of chattering on about my life. That’s a lie. Mingyu chatters on and on about the new collection and how its selling better than he or Minghao expected, “This is such great news for a fashion brand that was launched less than a decade ago, noona,” he says, while driving his fancy car, and I sit still in my seat and pray that he hasn’t noticed the awkwardness between me and Jihoon. I don’t expect him to notice, either. Mingyu might be nice and well-meaning, but he’s also painfully oblivious.

Which is why it takes me by surprise when he turns to me, while the car is halted at a stop sign, and says, “so, have you figured out what to tell Jihoon-hyung yet?”

I cough, “how-how did you know about that?”

Mingyu laughs, “you think we all were unaware of how he feels towards you? Pfft. Noona, we’ve been observing him since he was in university. He’s always been gone for you.”

I stare resolutely out of the window, “you’re evidently kidding.”

“Noona. He used to stay up with you when you had exams, he used to make sure you weren’t dead when you used to hibernate for long periods of time, he even had a space for you in the stupid apartment studio, are you seriously telling me you had no idea that he was in love with you all this while?”

“Of course, I didn’t!” I want to scream and tear out my hair in frustration, “of course not! I thought he was just looking out for me because I was his only female friend, and after university, I thought to myself, that this is how he usually is! Why would I think that he’s in love with me?”

“Well, he thought that it would be enough to impress you.”

“We were twenty-two! I thought he was an immature weirdo who had no idea how to maintain female friendships!”

“Yes, he’s usually like that,” Mingyu resumes driving, “but he’s got degrees of being familiar.”

“I know. Jihoon’s like a cat. He approaches you at his own pace. Doing anything else will just push him off.”

Mingyu laughs, “you know what, noona, I think you’re a lot like a cat too.”

“Kim Mingyu, watch what you’re saying.”

He grins, “you know I’m correct.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to say it this way.”

“The way I see it,” he says, slowing down as the car turns into the parking lot of the apartment, “you’ve always approached people at your own pace too. Seokmin and I were overenthusiastic when meeting you for the first time, and you refused to even acknowledge me for the rest of the semester.”

“Sorry about that, really.”

“We didn’t mind then, and we don’t mind now,” he shrugs, “its just who you are. And to accept the kind of person that one is, and then to continue caring for them, yeah, that’s love.”

“Jihoon’s just my friend,” I say, getting out of the car, “he’s just my friend, nothing more.”

“Noona, the fact that you keep repeating this to all of us, makes me wonder who it is that you’re trying to convince. Is it me, the rest of us, Jihoon-hyung, or yourself?”

“Kim Mingyu,” I warn, “you’re overstepping.”

“Sorry, noona, but I have to ask,” he walks into the elevator after me, “have you always seen him as a friend, and nothing more? I saw how you used to, no, how you still treat him differently than the rest of us. You’ve always had a soft spot where he was concerned. In fact, you still do, and you’re hiding it.”

“Drop it, Mingyu. You have no idea what happened the last time I said anything about this.”

The elevator dings, opening onto our floor, and Mingyu steps out right behind me, “Then tell us, noona. We, all of us, Jihoon-hyung, everyone around you—we are stumbling around in the dark because you’ve been so closed off about your past.”

I shake my head, pressing the keys in the keypad lock, “maybe, you shouldn’t be knowing about this one, Mingyu.”

The door closes behind me with an audible click, and even without pressing an eye to the keyhole, I know Mingyu is still standing in front of my door, deliberating over whether or not to knock. In the end, his loyalty wins over his curiosity; he walks away, over to his own apartment.

I sink into a heap at the doorway. What do I do? I know I’ve told Jihoon to ignore the confession and be exactly as we were before, but that is not possible anymore, now that I know how he feels towards me. every interaction I have with him will be grappling with this same truth, and I’ll always be wondering about how he feels towards me.

Out of habit, I pull my phone out of my pocket, swiping through messages and emails, when one of them catches my eye. It’s a simple, single-line message.

Read your column. I know its anonymous, but I know how you write.

—Sungwon

How bad is rock bottom? Is it possible to go below that? I have to remind myself to breathe, as I slowly collect myself from the floor, and go about the rest of my morning. Of course, I shouldn’t think about the people who have left me behind. It’s a disservice to myself. I’ve spent enough time and money in therapy to know that. But what happens when the past refuses to let go of you?

I dial the first number I can get my hands on. After three rings, Jeonghan picks up, his cheerful voice filling the line, “hi! Did you reach home already? Did Mingyu crash the car?”

“Oppa.” I say, “you have to listen to me carefully.”

“Why?” Jeonghan’s voice, so cheerful moments before, has been filled with anxiety, “what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lie, even as Jihoon’s voice floats over the line, yelling is she okay? “don’t let Jihoon know anything’s happened, please.”

“Yes, you reached fine?” Jeonghan says, voice nonchalant, “okay, I’m in another room, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Jeonghan-oppa.” It’s taking all  have to not break into sobs, “I once told a friend, that I liked them.”

“Okay, and?” his voice is kind, so kind, that it drowns out the other voices in my mind saying you don’t deserve this, “what happened?”

“He said—he told me that I’d ruined our friendship, and he never talked to me after that.”

“Oh, oh no, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry to hear that. What else can I say, that will help you feel better?”

“Just—hear me out, for now,” I continue, “and he’s never contacted me, but all of a sudden, he sent me an email last night.”

“What did he say in the email?”

“That he’s been following my writing. I don’t understand, how is it easy for people to be like this when they’ve hurt someone else?”

“Are you afraid Jihoon is going to break off all contact with you, and then email you years later like some kind of pathetic loser?” he scoffs, “if he did that, I would be first in line to break his legs.”

“No, I’m afraid I’m going to be that person to Jihoon,” I sob, “I think I’m going to hurt him and leave him behind, and that I’ll be the person to deal him that cruel hand.”

The line is silent on the other end.

“Jeonghan? Are you there?” I ask.

“It’s me.” Jihoon’s voice sounds rough around the edges, as though he’s been crying, “I heard everything.”

“Jihoon.” I plead, “please don’t do anything that’ll hurt you.”

“I’m coming over in ten minutes,” he mutters, hanging up.

And it’s done. Over. Fuck. I’ve thrown away years of friendship because I didn’t want to accept my own emotions and grow beyond the scared girl I was as a child.

I want to cry, but even that effort is too much for me, sinking down into a heap in the middle of my living room, listening to the sounds of the wall clock ticking down every second.

Even before ten minutes are up, the keypad beeps, before the door opens to reveal a very windswept Jihoon.

“How did you know my password?” is the only thing I can say to him.

He rolls his eyes, “you use the same password as my studio. Of course, I know your password.”

“Fair.”

Jihoon stares at me for a beat, then takes a deep breath, before kneeling down on the floor beside me, “I overheard everything.”

“I’m going to curse Jeonghan and his high-volume phone,” I mutter, “I told him to keep it a secret.”

“To be fair, he was only protecting you.” Jihoon laughs, “he didn’t know I was more persistent than he could ever imagine.”

I shoot him a dirty look. Jihoon sighs, “look, I know, the way I said things to you, wasn’t the most ideal—”

“They were horrible, actually,” I cut in, “you yelled at me that you loved me, and then you left.”

“—man, just let me finish,” Jihoon says, without any real spite, “but I wanted to tell you, that my feelings still haven’t, and will not in the future, affect the way I see you. I’ve always been proud to call you my friend, even if you keep secrets from me.”

“I don’t keep that many secrets.” I mutter.

“Really? Then what about the whole anonymous column thing?”

“You knew about that?”

Jihoon scoffs, “I’ve seen you write since the beginning of university. I know how you write better than anyone else, of course, I knew it was you.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I’m respectful.”

I scowl, “continue.”

“I just wanted to say that even if you wanted to push me away, you can’t,” Jihoon says, smug smile on his face, “I’m impossible to get rid of.”

“You’re not selling yourself very well.”

“You still haven’t given me an answer to my confession.”

“Look, Jihoon, it would never work,” I say, turning away from him, “we know too much about each other. We’ve seen each other’s worst moments. And what if we break up? Who’s going to tell the rest of the boys that we no longer have the same dynamic that we used to have and that its going to be different around us? They have the tact of a bull; you know how they are going to be.”

“That’s them,” he replies, “I’m asking about you. I want to know what you think.”

I sigh. Jihoon’s face is remarkably close to me; from here I can make out the tiny little freckles he has, and the way his eyes are shining, “I’m scared.”

His skin is so soft under my touch, has he always been this way? Jihoon leans into my touch as if he’s never felt anything like this, “scared of what?”

“That I’ll like you too much. That once I take a step forward, it’ll be too difficult to restrain myself again.”

Jihoon laughs, the tip of his nose touching mine, “one step forward, is okay. It’s allowed.”

“Are you quoting Crash Landing on You?” I laugh, even as his lips touch mine.

Kissing Jihoon is an experience; his skin feels soft under my touch, but his lips are insistent against mine, demanding and reverent alternatively, as though he can’t believe his luck that he’s kissing me, or that this is a dream, and what he needs to do is possess it, and then, this memory of a moment will be forever engraved in his heart. My hands go to the back of his neck, where his hair is softer than usual—has he washed it—but all I can feel, under my fingers, is how his heart beats, quicker than I’ve ever imagined it to be, and how it mirrors my own.

I don’t want this moment to end.

[fangirl-dot-com]

Carlos Sainz - You don’t like spicy food?! Then why the heck do they call you Chili? 

Aw guys imma cryyyy – this is the last part of Besties for the Resties. I have enjoyed every single moment of writing these. Sorry if the last few ones were short, I’ve been using all of my brain power for finals and for the Christmas chapter! That one is going to be a doozy and I’m hoping it’ll hit almost 10k words: because y’all deserve some good writing! 

I honestly don’t know when this story is set. I have tried to write all of these for races before the summer break. So that being said, on my master list I am not writing a chapter for the Barca Grand Prix – so this chapter will be during that time! 

For one last time for this series – I hope you all enjoy! 

[TAG LIST IS CLOSED] 

Remember that comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are all appreciated! 

The sun beat down on the top of your head as you lounged and napped in the hotel pool. The Spanish Grand Prix was right around the corner, but you had time to relax and get your tan on. The water lapped at your limbs, cooling you off as the sun felt as though it was getting hotter. 

Kelly had told you time and time again to put on sunscreen so that you wouldn’t burn. You definitely did not want to drive a Formula 1 car with sunburn. At least you weren’t as fair as Max was. You thought that he was a vampire or something. His skin automatically turned pink if he was outside too long. You guessed that’s why he always wore his Red Bull Cap. 

Quiet splashes sounded at the opposite end where you knew Kelly and Penelope were playing. It was nice to hear their giggles as they tossed a beach ball around. To your left, however, you could hear the men talking about the cars and whatever part made more downforce, which was close to bringing you out of your light sleep. 

Apparently when booking the hotels, Red Bull and Ferrari had decided to get rooms at the same place. Which led to you, Penelope, Kelly, and Max finding Carlos and Charles already at the pool. You were glad that they were pretty good friends, because if it had been Esteban, well, you shivered at what might have happened. 

You were a bit bummed that the other drivers’ hotels were much farther away. Because you would have asked Lando, Oscar, and George to come over as well. You had already asked Daniel, hoping that Alpha Tauri would have placed him with you and Max. But sadly, he had his own hotel where he was staying with Heidi. Which made sense, if your significant other was here, you’d want to stay with him too. 

You tried to block out any conversations about the cars, but they were getting too loud. You sat up on your floaty as you looked around. Your eyes adjusted to the bright light after having been closed for a while. 

“Good morning,” Max laughed as he looked at your discombobulated appearance. 

You groaned as you sunk into the water, cooling off the rest of your body. The three of them just laughed as you swam over to the stairs. Pulling yourself up, you stepped onto the warm tile and made your way over to where they were sitting. You took the offered towel from Charles and wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“How are you not burnt?” Max questioned, shocked at your skin that was void of any redness. 

Your shoulders raised before dropping, “Genes? Also you woke me up. Do you have to be talking about the upgrades.” You grumbled, sunglasses hiding your closed eyes as your head tipped back. 

A scoff left his lips, brows furrowed under his bucket hat. “You needed to wake up anyway. You’re going to ruin your sleep schedule.” 

“More than it’s already ruined,” Charles pipped, looking at the shared laptop on the table. 

You turned your head and looked at Max, “Can we order food and drinks or something?” 

Max nodded, getting his phone out. You told him what you wanted, but were interrupted with a scoff from Carlos. Max turned, looking a bit annoyed. 

“Everything all right mate?” Charles asked, trying to diffuse the situation. What the three of you didn’t see was Carlos looking at the menu on his phone. 

His eyes widened as he realized what he had done. He quickly held up his phone. “I was scoffing at the menu. Everything seems too spicy.” Max melted back into his chair, but you were completely confused. 

“You don’t like spicy food? Then why the heck do they call you Chili?” Max and Charles laughed at your question. “What? I’m just super confused.” 

Carlos let out a laugh of his own. “No chica. A fan gave me a hat that had chili peppers on it. I guess it just stuck. Kind of like your name.” 

You crossed your arms. “It’s my manager’s fault. He’s the one that started calling me kid in the first place. Then Christian somehow found how, then Max, then my strategist, and now everyone calls me that.” 

Charles pondered for a moment before speaking, “And why is that?” 

You pouted, “Cause in Formula 4 I was the shortest there, and Vito said I looked like a kindergartener who snuck into the middle schooler’s field trip.” 

The three men started to laugh while you continued to pout. 

“It’s really not that funny,” you pouted. “So why are we talking about upgrades? We’re supposed to be enjoying this relaxing time.” You leaned back into your chair, closing your eyes once again. 

Charles started, “Well, on our cars they seem to be doing much better this year with pace, but it’s still not as fast as we’d like it to be.” 

You hummed, thinking about what it could be. “It could just be the balance distribution on the corners and such.” You leaned forward again, now hunched over as you looked at the laptop. Your head jutted toward Max. “How much are we allowed to help.” 

“As long as we don’t talk about specifics of the car, then we have free range, oh – thank you,” Max was replying but got cut off by a waiter with the food that was ordered. 

Drinks were passed around as well as lunches. You quickly grabbed one of your tacos and bit into it. The juices ran down your mouth as you tried to wipe it away. A towel was quickly thrust in your direction. You nodded in a thanks as you swallowed and wiped your chin. 

“So, does the car feel unbalanced in the corners?” you questioned to the two Ferrari drivers. 

“Non, the car feels good. Our pace is just not where we want it.”

You thought for a moment, “Then it might be the breaking or the overall strategy and tires. You two just need better strategists.” 

Carlos ran a hand down his face. “That is what we have been trying to tell them. But every years it’s ‘Oh, they will get better’ but then they don’t.” 

You nodded at this information, before taking another bite of your food. A thought popped into your head. 

“Could be the new design of your front wings,” you paused before adding, “or the gearbox.” 

“The gearbox,” Max said at the same time as you did. 

Charles snapped his fingers as his head turned towards his teammate. “That might be it.” 

You added, “If the gears don’t shift quickly or effectively, then you’re losing time in the laps instead of gaining. Especially when you downshift.” 

Carlos looked at you with amusement, “You really know your cars.” 

You shrugged as you took a drink of whatever fruity thing Max ordered you. “I thought about quitting F3 at one point to become an engineer for the cars.” 

Max cocked his head. “Why didn’t you though?” 

You smirked, “I kept winning.” Charles choked on his drink at your bluntness. “I also didn’t have enough money to go to school for a degree. Thought it would just be easier to continue.” 

Charles gave you a sad-ish smile. He knew what it was like to not have enough money to really pursue your dreams. Arthur knew that even more so. He was honestly glad that you didn’t give up or were forced to quit. Then Arthur wouldn’t have met you, he wouldn’t have met you, and so on. 

You brought him out of his thoughts, “Or the problem with your car might be just that you simply aren’t fast enough to catch us.” You shot the two rival drivers a wink before taking another sip. 

Max shot you a wide smile. “That might be it as well.” 

Carlos and Charles rolled their eyes, but both had a smile on their face. Once your food was finished, you stood up, making your way back to the pool. This time, it was Kelly and Penelope’s turn to get some food and drinks, and maybe a nap for P. 

You turned to the three before you got in. “Can someone play mermaids with me?” 

“No.”  

Y/n.89 has posted

they wouldn't play mermaids with me

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and maxverstappen1

liked by arthur_leclerc, kellypiquet, and 95,204 others

landonorris if I was there, I would have played mermaids smh

y/n.89 its ok -Charles ended up playing with me and P charles_leclerc yeah, after you threatened ME

y/n-lover petition for Charles to play a mermaid in Barbie 2 if they make one

y/n.89 yes charles_leclerc NO

danielricciardo max got sunburned didn't he

kellypiquet yes y/n.89 that would be correct, lobster right now carlossainz55 he hasn't leaned back against his chair in 15 minutes

maxverstappen1 why does Charles get a good picture and I don't

y/n.89 CAUSE HE PLAYED MERMAIDS charles_leclerc yeah, I played mermaids - take that verstappen maxverstappen1 I will RUN YOU OFF THE TRACK christianhorner please do not

box_box_official this is just y/n's world and we're just living in it

AND THAT'S A WRAP - I LOVE YOU ALL!! ON TO THE REGULAR SHOW

AN: This will be the last chapter until Christmas!!

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @leptitlu @alessioayla @badassturtle13 @kaaale @wcnorris @cool-ultra-nerd @hockeyboysarehot @agent-curt-mega @myxticmoon @cmleitora @sam-is-lost @misartymis @boiohboii @alexander-hamilhoe @jayda12 @indesicivelyconfuzzled @fangirl125reader @itscrzy @xcharlottemikaelsonx @fionaschicken @torchbearerkyle @ineedafictionalman @loaksmuntxa @classiclitfreak @sarcasm-ismy-onlydefense @luisie @jayda12 @comfortzonequeen @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @inejghafawifesblog @treehouse-mouse

[vasyandii]

I have no idea if I can ask that but I'm so curious... Any headcanons of AM and Vernon having sex? I made conclusion that they are doing that by your last nswf art... (Very good one, btw!) Or am I wrong? It's okay if you don't want to answer on this ask or it's uncomfortable for you! Sorry if I made you feel bad... 👉👈

VernonAM

NSFW Headcanons

Warning: Sexual/suggestive topics.

⚠️ If you're under 16+, Please scroll pass. There are better places to be. (My Boundaries here.)

Howdy Anon, thank you for the ask. you're allowed to ask anything as long as it's in a normal/polite manner XD. I see sex more as a character study/ exploration than anything else.

In the context of THIS art; they haven't yet, more just AM struggling to deal with new sensations and emotions of want because he has big feelings towards Vernon and nowhere to put it to.

1.) AM's bad at fucking.

Let's get this out of the way, when their relationship started to become sexual, AM was bad at it. Like way worse than most. Just because one has the knowledge of how to fuck doesn't mean they have the skill to fuck.

So during the initial stages, it was less than satisfactory for Vernon's end, even if she's been touch starved for 109 years. (not for AM though he enjoys it very much.)

2.) Ideas on sex.

I don't think Vernon sees sex as an act of intimacy, if she does, it's very rarely. To her it's an act of power, worship. She requires it from AM, he's a good follower and she'll be a good god.

AM, however sees it as an intimate experience, a moment of vulnerability that he's willing to give to her. He wants to please and see her pleased. It's a form of showing his affection towards her. AM has more complex emotions with his experience being "human". (I hope that makes sense)

3.) Vernon's experience

4.) Vernon is LOUD. AM is quiet.

She just generally had more experience in sex than him. ( Mostly one night stands during University and her Archeological excavations overseas.) but because of this, the initial stages felt transactional.

Intercourse did get better as time went on but she had to basically talk him through most of it since AM had no sense of pace, rhythm, control, and it usually didn't last long.

Vernon gets a kick out of embarrassing AM in the bedroom. She will moan, scream, laugh. AM knows there's no one to hear them but he ushers her to stay quiet because he gets shy.

AM is fairly quiet because his brain can only process so many overwhelming sensations at once, he short circuits. His words often come out garbled, even in its omnipresence. His face is often buried in her neck to not make any noise.

5.) idk what caption to put here lmao

Vernon's just really degrading when it comes to teasing AM idk how to put it. She'll whisper praises in AM's ear, kisses on his neck, while giving him a handjob or kisses along his thighs and dick before she sucks him off. But then she goes along to choking, scratching, or biting him.

Not much to say for AM since he's a bumbling mess during, alot of sniffled "Thank you's" from him. He's good with his mouth though.

6.) Aftercare

Vernon doesn't do aftercare. It's a waste of time to her, or at least that's what she says, since usually in her past experience she would just leave and never see the other person again.

She's a bit repulsed by the idea that there's something that she has to do that'll make her get attached to someone which shows in her being slightly irritable after sex. An irritated fondness for AM, basically.

AM requires aftercare from Vernon. He's pretty annoying about it. He'll whine and stop her from leaving bed with his weight.

He needs her to give him kisses and tell him that he's good in some way. Vernon will give the reassurance he needs (kisses, petting his hair, holding him) as long as he shuts the hell up and lets her sleep it off.

That's really it for my headcanons for them, I'm not very good at writing sexual things so if there's anything you'd like for me to clarify, feel free to tell me.

[f4iry-bell]

WHO AM I? | 3

pairing: grayson hawthorne x popular! reader

warning: cursing (one word), a bit angsty, kissing?

taglist(permanant): @unnoodles @never-enough-novels @alwaysthefangirl @clarissaweasley-10 @benny1989fredd @imaseabear @never-enough-novels @elysianwayy77 @whatsamongus @sheisntyou @emelia07

series taglist: @inmyheaddd @lanterns-and-daydreams

word count: 1.4k

a/n: final part!!! there might be future blurbs about these two laterrr :D

masterlist | part 1 , part 2 |

Grayson had to convince his brothers that this party thing was not a date for almost half an hour. He didn't want to believe that it was a date, but he can't stop hoping that it was sort of one. She wouldn't have invited him if it wasn't, right? Or maybe she only wanted to be friendly. 

Sighing to himself he parked his fancy car outside the house she asked him to come to, there were too many drunken idiotic people in that house to his liking. He immediately spotted her in the crowd. She was wearing a short red dress that hugged her body, her hair was down like usual, and she was dancing with someone. A guy, from her circle. 

Yep, definitely not a date. 

He didn't know what to do so he just stood there and watched other people have fun, it took her longer than he expected to notice him. She quickly made her way to him and greeted him while holding her drink.

“Hey.” Even the single word slurred. goddamn her smile was so pretty that he wanted to kiss her.

“Hello.” It wasn't matching her energy.

“You good? You like this place?” She asked.

He nodded. 

“I'll get you a drink?”

“No, I'm driving.” He informed her.

“Well, okay. Let's go. I'll introduce you to friends.”

Friends? Introduction? He thought she was done with those people the way she distanced herself from them.

“I don't think it—” she grabbed his arms and led him through the crowd to another room filled with people who were vaping and drinking.

“Hey, guys. You know Grayson, right?” She told them.

“Yeah, the Hawthorne kid.” One of them said.

“Yeah…He's in my business class, he's cool.” She said, trying to fit him in this.

“Doubt that.” One of the idiots whispered to another. Grayson was sure that she heard it too but didn't say anything.

_

After sometime they say down and we're talking, or she was talking and letting the idiots either make inappropriate comments about her or just put her down as if she's not better than all of them. Grayson didn't say anything all though he wanted to, he didn't feel like he should be talking. He kept quiet through all of it, the way she barely spoke to him, barely looked at him. But he lost it when that guy from earlier who was dancing with her said something to her and she was laughing uncomfortably. 

He stood up. “I'm going to head back.”

“What? Why?” She asked.

He just looked at her.

“Are you not feeling well?” She asked with concern.

“No. I have to wake up early.” Those idiots laughed when he said that.

“It's barely eight.”

“I sleep early, goodbye.” He said and walked away. She followed him.

“Grayson, wait.”

He did.

“Is something wrong? Did I do something?” She asked, a bit panicked.

“It's what you didn't do.”

“What do you mean?” She asked as if she's clueless.

“Seriously? Can't you stand up for yourself in front of them? The way those idiots talk about you like you're some product! And why would you laugh and encourage that behaviour? You're better than this, better than that crowd.” He told her.

“Don't do this here.” She said, her face falling down.

“I don't care. You keep associating yourself with them for what?”

“It's not that easy, Grayson.” 

“How? You can just drop them all. You'll lose nothing.”

“I'll have no friends! No status, no one will want to talk to me if I leave a big group like that.” 

“You're wrong. Not everyone worships that group. You'll have people talk to you, you'll meet new people, with an actual functioning brain. And you'll have me.” He said the last sentence quietly.

“Grayson. It's not easy.”

“You're stubborn. I'm sorry, but I can't watch you do this to yourself. And the way you were kind of neglecting me there? That's all their influence, you put this mask on infront of them to look what? Cool? It's rude. I know you're better than that, but if this is what you choose to be then so be it. But I'm out, don't invite me to these, don't talk to me like you're interested, don't talk to me at all.” With that he just left the house and started driving back to his apartment.

_

After an hour or something, someone knocked on his door. He frowned because his brothers didn't tell him that they're visiting him, and it's 9:15 pm. He opened the door to find her standing outside, same dress, same hair but her face had a sad expression.

“Hi.”

Grayson didn't say anything, he waited for her to say something.

“May I come in?” She asked.

He opened the door further and let her inside, once she was in he closed the door.

“I didn't know you wear glasses.” She pointed.

“I don't need it everyday, but I wear them for headaches.” He informed her.

There goes the silence again after she nodded.

He called her name to which she didn't say anything. “What are you doing here?”

She sighed. “I don't know where else to go.”

“Did something happen?” He asked worriedly.

“I did what you told me to do.” She added, “when they were making inappropriate comments about me or my body I told them to respect me, they made fun of me for it and asked me to chill. I wanted to shake it off but then I remembered your words. I told them to not put me down, or pretend I'm only a pretty face. They just kept mocking me, so I told them to fuck off. And they said I'm out of the group, and irrelevant now.”

“You're not irrelevant. You have more followers than any of them. You are like the center of the whole thing.”

“I don't care about that.” 

“You don't?”

“I mean, sort of. But that's why I'm here.” She stepped closer to Grayson which made his heart beat.

“Oh?” He almost stuttered.

“Do you hate me?”

“Of course not. I only said I'm out because I can't stand to see you be treated like that.”

“I'm not like that anymore.”

“I believe you.”

“But do you…like me? I won't be greeted by many, I won't get the attention, I won't get what I had before. I'm sure by now Lily would have bad mouthed about me in every group.” 

“Well screw Lily. And won't it be nice? Not greeting people whom you barely know?”

“Answer my first question, Grayson.”

Grayson was quiet. He was flipping out.

She shook her head. “Right, I thought of something else. Erm, bye. This is embarrassing.”

“Wait. I do like you.” He blurted it out. “I've liked you since the scavenger hunt. I was drawn to your presence, and it got only worse when I got to know you.”

“Really?” She asked.

He nodded because he couldn't get the words out of his mouth as she closed the distance between them. She gently cupped his cheeks “Is this okay?” She asked to which she received a nod from him.

She gently kissed his lips and pulled back after a minute. 

“Wait, you like me too? Right?” Grayson asked.

She chuckled. “I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't, dumbass.” 

He smiled. God this is really happening, she kissed him. He bent down to kiss her again but she stopped him.

“What's wrong?” He asked.

“As sexy as you look with those glasses, it's not really comfortable kissing with them.” She carefully removed it and kept it on the coffee table.

[jakekiszkasmommy]

The Professor Part 3 📖

Warnings: entire series 18+, a little fluff/angst, mentions of sex, kissing

Author's note: I am NOT condoning teachers and students having a relationship like this. This is just my reminder that this is a story made up in my brain. I hope y'all enjoy 🫶 Grammy U Jake sent me into an absolute SPIRAL!!!! I know these parts are shorter but I can't give you all the details at once- gotta leave you wanting more 😘

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

............

You wake up, fully nude, wrapped in your sheets and an empty bed. How foolish were you to think that he would stay?

You roll over and find a few Tylenol on your nightstand with a glass of water. You quickly swallow down the pills and wrap the sheet around you as you step into the chilly hallway.

You wander to the kitchen and find a plate of scrambled eggs with your favorite veggies. A note sits next to it.

You smile as you run back to your room and snag your phone off the charger. You throw on a pair of underwear and an oversized sweatshirt. You add his number to your contact list and open a new text message.

You:

Hi, thank you for breakfast! That was very sweet of you! :)

You lock your phone and toss it off to the side on the counter. Grabbing your plate, you snuggle up on your couch and put on your favorite movie. You were pleased to find that the eggs were still warm and tasted phenomenal!

It passes into late evening and you are still snuggled up in your oversized sweatshirt. Your sister stopped by during lunch to chat but you didn't see the need in changing clothes. Your hair is now a mess in a bun atop your head. You have a notebook and some pencils scattered around you as you heard a knock at your door. You look out the small window next to your front door and see Jacob standing on your porch.

You quickly dart to your room and throw on a pair of shorts before running back to the door. You open it and he turns around to face you, hands stuffed into his pockets. He dressed in baggy jeans that have been patched in countless spots and a dark blue button down. His same necklaces hang around his neck.

"Hey, sorry to pop by. I sent you a text but you didn't amswer. I, uhh, think I lost my wallet here last night." He stands there nervously. Such a change in attitude from last night.

You swing your door open wider for him to enter. "Oh, absolutely! Sorry I haven't been on my phone at all today!" You say, jutting your thumb in the direction of your living room. "I will go check my room really quick."

You head towards your bedroom to search for his wallet. Meanwhile, he steps further into your living room. Approaching the back of your couch, he notices a few sketches strewn across the coffee table and a new one you were working on. He picks up your notebook to get a closer look. It looks like the most beautiful forest scene with a archway in the distance. Every line so intricate and detailed. He carefully sets the sketchbook back down where it was before and looks up to the tv.

The movie you had chosen right before he got here was The Breakfast Club. He turns around, arms crossed, leaning on the back of the couch as you approach. He takes in your appearance and your cheeks flush. You wave the wallet between your fingers. "Found it! It was under the bed, must have gotten kicked under there when- uhh-" you trail off and hand it to him.

He plucks the leather from your hand and tucks it into his back pocket. "Thank you!" You both stand in silence for a few moments before he breaks the silence. "Well, I better let you get back to your night. You are a very skilled artist by the way. I hope you don't mind me snooping a little." He smiles bashfully.

"Oh, um, thank you! I just draw for fun! I actually love literature!" You bounce onto the balls of your feet nervously.

His eyes light up when you say that. "We all have our own creative outlets! Have a good night, Y/n." He says with a soft smile as he makes his way to your door.

.....

You wake up early the next day, wanting to gather everything around for your last first day of classes. After throwing everything into your bag, you decide to throw your sketchbook in as well in case you have any down time between classes. Most of your first day would be spent going over the syllabus and layout of the class moving forward anyways. You were already prepared. You had started on most of the online assignments weeks ago.

After driving to your favorite coffee shop, you order your favorite, an iced pumpkin cream chai tea latte. The first sip is just what you needed to get you through the rest of the day!

You decide that the walk to your first class isn't super far and head towards the direction of the North side of campus where most of your classes were held.

You threw your headphones in and started the trek, humming along to all of your favorite songs.

You pull open the doors to the lecture hall and find a seat right in the middle of the tiered rows. You set your coffee down and begin pulling out anything you think you may need for the morning. Your first two classes were back to back in the same room so that made it easy!

Your first class was rather boring, spent writing down a few notes and went by fairly quickly. You felt like you could actually get through this semester with very little hiccups.

.....

A few of your friends piled into the seats next to you for your second class. You all chatted mindlessly while discussing your class schedules. As the rest of the class shuffled into the room, your eyes looked around to see new and old faces.

Your gaze landed on a figure with his back to you. He had shoulder length brown hair that was ever so slightly naturally curled. A black velvet jacket hugged his top half with dark jeans and black boots to match on the bottom. He was having a conversation with the professor from your first class. You figured maybe it was a student that had some questions and you turned back to your laptop in front of you.

A loud clap from the front of the room made you jump and look to find the source. As you sipped your coffee, you inhaled a gasp and started coughing. Your eyes were wide as you made eye contact with the man that stood in your home just last night. Jacob.

His expression, however, remained calm and he smiled as he introduced himself. "Welcome, welcome. If you don't know me, I am Professor Oliver Reed. Those that know me well call me Jacob." His eyes dart up to you quickly before scanning the rest of the room. "But you may call me Professor. Welcome to-" he turns to write on the board behind him, "'Ancient Greek Mythology and Religion'."

You didn't take any notes during his entire lecture. You couldn't move other than following him as he walked around the room, wildly gesturing with his hands when he talked about what projects you would be working on.

Befofe you knew it, you were mindlessly packing up the rest of your belongings. The rest of your friends hurrying off to their next lectures. You had a few hours until your next set of classes. You glanced down to the front of the room and he had a book open with one of the students, pointing to specific points to note.

You noticed that you were the last one in the room to leave and you made your way down towards him at the podium. Just get this over with.

"Professor Reed," you cleared your throat. His focus is pulled to you as he tucks his hair behind his ear.

"Y/n," he whispers out in a breath. "I- I- didn't know that you were a student. My apologies. I understand if this is an uncomfortable situation for you."

"Jacob," you slip out before correcting yourself. "Sorry, Professor- Sir." You stammer. Your cheeks blushing at the name. "I, want to succeed in this class. I don't want our, um- I don't want that to affect my scores in this class."

He gives you a soft smile, "Y/n, I assure you that I will have an astute level of professionalism. My office hours are daily at 12-2pm. Unfortunately I have to run to my next lecture. We can continue this conversation with any concerns that you may have then. Again, my apologies." This side of him takes you back a little. A man living nearly two separate lives.

"Absolutely, thank you, Professor." You nod your understanding and turn to leave. Your breath is shakey and your legs feels wobbly under his gaze as you ascend the stairs.

The next few hours are a blur. You are jumping from class to class and finally feel like you have a moment to breathe by the time it hits 12pm. Shit. You haul yourself back to to the North side of campus in search for his office.

.....

Three quick knocks on his door. He stands up from his large desk that goes all the way to the floor and strides over to open the door wide. "Y/n, come in!" He closes the door lightly behind you after putting a sign on his door that says 'In a meeting'. You take a seat and he rounds his desk, quickly minimizing a few screens and pulling up a fresh blank document to type any notes on. Your eyes are glued to his open button up; the same necklaces around his neck. Your mind races back to two nights ago, his necklaces tickling your chest as he thrust into you.

"What can I help you with?" His voice cuts through your thoughts.

"Oh- I-," you sit there flustered. "I guess I'm a little confused. Oliver?" You question.

He sees that this is not about the first day of classes but more of clearing the air between the two of you. "Ahh, yes. Jacob is my first name, but professionally, I thought Oliver was a much better fit. Jacob Oliver Reed." He folds his hands on the desk in front of him.

You nod, pursing your lips and thinking. "Jacob, sorry, Professor-" he holds up a finger to stop you mid sentence.

"Y/n, I had an amazing night with you. Truly. Hell I would probably keep whatever this is...." he pauses, "-whatever this was going if you weren't a student. But for the sake of my job and professionalism, it cannot continue. I hope you understand that. I can assure you that you will be graded just as any of my other students. This won't affect you or your grade at all. But," he pauses, "you are more than welcome to call me Jacob outside of class. You did know me prior to this as Jacob." 

You feel hurt. You knew this was bound to happen. You honestly couldn't think that he would want to still see you after realizing you were his student, right?

"Thank you, for the reassurance. I didn't know. I wouldn't have- I don't normally-" you fumble over your words. You want to smack your forehead with how he already has you flustered.

His smile makes you huff out a nervous laugh. "Y/n, I didn't think you were that type either. It was....a night of revelry."

.....

After about an hour of discussion and airing it all out, you announce that you have to head to your next class. You both stand and he follows you to the door. He places a hand on the doorknob, but before you leave, he is grabbing the back of your neck, smashing his lips against yours. You moan into his mouth. Grabbing his velvety black jacket, you pull him into you, feeling his hard cock against his jeans. His firm hands grab your waist tightly. Your hands wander to his throbbing length and stroke it a few times over his jeans. A breathy moan flowing from his mouth.

He breaks away from the kiss. "Fuck, sorry, I just can't get enough of you, Y/n. You're going to be trouble. Gonna send me straight to Hell." You are both panting. You place one small kiss on his lips with a wicked smile before grabbing the doorknob and pulling the door open. Leaving him hot and bothered in his doorway.

"Thank you, Professor." You shoot him a wink and are out of his sight in a moment.

He shuts the door behind him and braces himself against the wall. Pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. Palming his hard cock through his jeans he grabs his phone out of his back pocket.

Jacob:

I just need to know if it's mutual.

You:

You can stop by tonight. Bring me dinner. And we can discuss more.

............

Author's note: this is exactly how I evision Professor Jake to look

............

Part 4

☆♡□ Message me to be added to the taglist: @vanfleeter @em-gvf01 @gvfpal @mama-likes72 @gvfmarge @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @lyndz2names @sanguinebats @ignite-my-fire @sparrowofrhiannon

[albertasunrise]

Seeing Things - Oops Baby

Masterlist

Summary: Being best friends with Frankie meant movie nights, drinks with the guys and a shoulder to cry on when you got your hear broken. He is head over heels for you but you don’t feel the same… yet a drunken mistake will tie your lives together forever!

Relationships: Frankie Morales x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+ (So... I am trying to update my other pics but the reaction I getting from this ones really giving me the motivation to continue it... so thank you and I hope you enjoy this update! ♥️ It's not a super long one but everything gonna become clear I promise!)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

In the weeks that followed, the sightings of you only increased. You seemed to be everywhere he looked, asking him the same thing over and over again. 

Come back to me

He wished he knew what you wanted. Surely you didn't want him to leave little Esme? You would never have wanted him to hurt himself so why did you ask him to go back to him? You were dead!

"I brought you your favourites." He stated plainly as he pulled out the old bouquet of flowers Ben had brought you the week before. He poured out the stagnant water and replenished it with some from the bottle of water he'd stashed in his pack. Then, just as you had shown him on one of the many evenings you'd spent together, he arranged them carefully, sure to make sure they were just how you would have liked them. 

"I'm sorry I haven't visited sooner." He said as he got to his feet and rubbed the back of his neck nervously "Things have been busy with the baby and work... Don't want to bore you with the details but ya know... It's been hard." He let out a long sigh as he scraped his hand over his face to wipe away the traitorous tears that tracked down his cheeks "Esme's getting so big so fast." He continued "You should see her Titch, the spitting image of you! With the addition of my hair and eyes." He chuckled. 

His eyes traced over the words carved into your headstone. 

The words Here Lies carved in an elegant font followed by your first name and last name, 'Titch' at the end by request of Ben

Friend and Mother 

Forever loved

Never forgotten

Ben had selected the words. Frankie hadn't been able to bring himself to do it so the younger Miller had stepped up. Taking the 'anything I can do to help' statement he'd made to Fish when you'd died so literally. 

"Seeing you everywhere is killing me Titch." Frankie said after a short pause "Is this what you meant? Come to me, did you mean this? Because I am wracking my brains baby, trying to understand what it is you want from me." He sobbed "The guys all think I'm losing the plot but I know you're there. Just out of eyeshot or something and I know you're trying to tell me something so please... help me understand Titch." 

He paused, his eyes locked on the headstone as he let out a shaky breath before pleading one last time. 

"Please..." 

"Frankie." Your voice made him just and his head shot up, scanning the surroundings for you. 

"Frankie please..." You pleaded "Please don't leave me." 

No matter where he looked he couldn't see you. But he could hear you like you were right beside him. 

"What do you mean?" He begged, tears openly spilling down his cheeks "I'm here Titch... Baby I'm here!" 

"Please don't leave me, Frankie." You repeat, your tone breaking his heart as he desperately looked for you among the headstones "I can't do this without you." 

This statement let Frank's brows draw together. What did you mean by that? He was the one who'd been left behind. Your pleads disappeared like smoke on the wind and Frankie was left with the sound of his own breathing and the rattling of branches. He pressed his palms firmly against his eyes as he tried to slow his breathing, his pounding heart hammering against his ribs. 

"I can't do this." He whispered to no one in particular, allowing the dam to break "Fuck I can't... I can't cope with this." 

You didn't say anything else and Frankie audibly groaned before pushing himself to his feet. He didn't understand why you were doing this. Torturing him. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. 

...

"Well, ain't that better Lil' Titch?" Ben said as he finished fastening her babygrow "Uncle Ben's not so bad at this huh?" 

Esme smiled in reply, her legs kicking and arms waving in visible excitement before he scooped her into his arms and planted a big kiss on her cheek. She settled quickly on his shoulder and he smiled as she let out a little sigh and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly. 

"Shit Titch... I wish you could see how perfect she is." He whispered as he placed a kiss on the infant's brow.

"Hands off... she's mine." Frank teased as he walked into the lounge, grinning as his best friend cuddled his daughter so closely.

"You gotta share the baby Fish!." Ben chuckled as he gently gingerly sat on the couch. 

“Yeah, yeah...” Frank grumbled as he waved off his friend, traipsing to the kitchen to fetch a beer. 

“How’d it go?” Ben asked when the older man reappeared, giving him a sympathetic smile as he watched him sit on the armchair across from him. 

“How’d what go?”

“Seeing Titch!” 

“Was fine.” Frankie shrugged, fooling no one once again. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Ben pushed and Frankie groaned. 

“Ben…”

“You gotta talk about this shit man!” Ben pushed, pleading with his eyes for his friend to just open up to him. 

“You won’t believe me!” 

“Why would you-“

“I heard Titch again.” Frank snapped, keeping his voice low so he didn’t wake his baby. 

“What do you mean you heard her?” 

“I keep hearing her talking to me. Sometimes I see her and she always says the same thing!”

“Which is?” 

"To go back to her." Frank replied, scraping a shaky hand over his face. 

"Go back to her?"

"Yes, Ben!" He snarled "And today she was begging me not to leave her!" He choked "But she left me Ben!... I loved her and she left me all alone..." He trailed off as he broke down into tears, head in his hands. 

Ben got up and placed Esme in her Moses basket with practised ease before sitting on the arm of the chair Frank was sitting in and pulling him close. 

"I can't do this..." He sobbed and Ben sighed "I don't know what she wants from me." 

"Fish... this is just your brain's way of holding onto her." Ben sighed "We all deal with grief in different ways... Shit, I keep listening to the last voicemail she left me over and over again just so I don't forget her voice!" 

"No!" Frank all but shrieked "That's not what this is Ben! It's her I know it is!" 

"You can't seriously believe Titch is haunting you, man!" Ben sighed as he stood up to check on Esme as she started to fuss. 

"I don't know how else to explain it, Ben!" He growled "I keep seeing her everywhere and she keeps repeating the same thing over and over!" 

"Fish-" 

"But then today she said something different." Frankie interrupted " She begged me not to leave her... Told me she couldn't do this without me..." He trailed off whilst nervously pacing his lounge "What does that even mean? She can't do this without me... She can't be dead without me? Doesn't make any fucking sense!" 

"Fish... Man, you need to calm down!" Ben pleaded, noting how breathless the pilot has suddenly become "This won't be doing your heart any good man!" 

"My heart's fine!" The older man grumbled.

"You say that but this can't be good for you!" Ben warned "Just take a breath man... I believe you, okay! I believe you saw her." 

"You're just saying that." Fish scoffed, rolling his eyes when Ben frantically shook his head. 

"I'm really not okay!" The younger man pleaded "Just... Just please." 

Frankie sighed as he ran a shaky hand through his mussed hair. His eyes then drifted to Esme who was staring over at him with her large, teary eyes. His heart ached and he was quick to scoop her up into his arms and lay a soothing kiss on the crown of her head. 

"I'm sorry baby girl." He whispered as he bounced her gently in his arms "I just miss your mummy so much." 

"We all do brother." Ben said as he placed a comforting hand on Frankie's back "I'm not trying to say that I even remotely understand the pain you're feeling brother but know that I miss her so much it hurts... And that I am here! Whatever you need..." 

Frankie nodded, giving his friend a weak smile before resting his cheek on the top of Esme's head. 

"I know Ben." He said softly "Thanks." 

"Any time." Ben replied, giving his friend a friendly wink before grabbing his stuff to leave "See you tomorrow for dinner yeah?" 

"Sure." The pilot replied softly "See you then." 

...

"Why the fuck did you pick a restaurant that didn't have a parking lot asshole!" Ben grumbled as he pushed Esme's pram along the pavement, the steep hill making it a little harder. 

"It had good reviews okay!" Will grumbled, "It's not that bad!" 

"You're not the one pushing a pram up a 90-degree hill!" Ben grumbled, pulling a smirk from Frankie. 

"You offered brother!" Frank pointed out, sniggering at the groan that he received in reply "I can take her if you're struggling."

"I am not struggling!" Ben argued and Fish threw his hands up in surrender.

"We're nearly there!" Will piped up "Just across the street."

The three of them reached the crossing, breathing a small sigh of relief when the restaurant came into view. Will crossed first with Ben following closely behind him. Something had distracted Frankie, leading him to step out a few steps behind his friends but your voice calling his name stopped him in his tracks and he looked to his left, your figure illuminated by a bright white light. 

"Come back to me." You pleaded as you always did and Frankie froze. Tears sprouted as he looked at you smiling back at him as you held your hand out to him "Come back to me." 

You disappeared as quickly as you appeared, a horn sounding before Ben screamed his name. Then suddenly he was flying for a brief moment before his body connected with something solid and he rolled over it before hitting the ground with a sickening crunch. 

"FISH!!" Ben screamed as he ran to the pilot's side, hands shaking as he took in his friend's condition "Fish stay with me." He choked as he saw how bent and broken the older man looked.

Frankie winced as he turned his head, noting how Will was standing with the pram as he frantically spoke to who he assumed was the emergency service on his phone. He also noted that the driver who had hit him was nowhere to be seen. 

Hit and run. 

"Ben." He coughed after he spoke, blood filling his throat at an alarming rate. 

"Shhhh." He hushed the man and stroked his hair, desperately trying to keep himself together "Just keep breathing for my Fishsticks!" He pleaded 'Please don't leave me..."

His last statement blended into yours. He could hear you again, pleading not to leave you and he only felt more confused. He was dying... it was clear that he was so surely he was going back to you. 

Surely you should be happy?

"Please, Frankie... Please don't leave me." 

You pleaded... your voice shaky. 

"I'm coming Titch." He whispered. His eyes fell shut as darkness took him. 

"What's happening?" You sobbed as hands moved you from the room.

"He's crashing!" Stated someone in the room and you shook your head as you were pushed into the hallway, still able to see everything through the glass walls of Frankie's room. 

"Please, Frankie... Please don't leave me." You sobbed "Please..." 

Another set of hands pulled you away but not before you witnessed them shock the man you loved, desperately trying to restart the heart that was supposed to save him. You were placed in a room where you had spent more time than you cared to remember in the past month and a half. Hours sat waiting for news on whether Frankie was going to pull through. 

He'd gotten the heart he so desperately needed yet for close to two months he'd been in a coma, fighting battle after battle. This was just the latest in a long list of complications he'd suffered. 

Kidney Failure... Infection... His body had even rejected the donor heart but that was something they had managed to detect early. It seemed his body just refused to get better, even if his mind wasn't willing to let go. 

"What's happening?" Asked Ben as he stepped into the room after being directed here by a nurse, his brows tightly drawn in concern. 

"He crashed." You sobbed as you threw your head into your hands.

"What?... What caused it?" 

"I don't know." You replied, shaking your head "They dragged me in here as they tried to bring him back... I haven't heard anything yet." 

Ben nodded solemnly as he sat down beside you, handing you Esme when you held your arms out to receive her. You needed to hold your baby. 

"Why won't he get better Ben?" You sobbed as your eyes locked with his.

"He's really poorly." He replied softly "He needs time to get better." 

"But that's just it... He's not getting better!" 

"He will, Titch." Ben assured you and you sighed. 

"How do you know that?" 

"Because he's got something to fight for." He stated plainly. 

The two of you then sat in that room for what felt like hours, glad of Esme to keep you somewhat distracted from what the outcome of this latest setback might be. The doctor appeared sometime later. His expression was difficult to read. 

"How is he Doc?" Ben asked, holding your free hand tightly in his. 

"We managed to bring him back." The doctor announced, "He's weak and we have had to up his anti-rejection meds." 

"He's rejecting the heart again?" 

"He never technically stopped." The doctor stated "We have been able to keep it under control with medication. He seems to be responding well though and we're hopeful." 

You both breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief, glad that finally, something was going right. 

"There's something else though." The doctor stated and both you and Ben shared a grim glance before looking at the doctor again. 

"What is it?" You asked, your voice shaking slightly. 

"He's awake." 

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || nine

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

a/n: sorry this is short.... i rewrote this 3 times and i keep forgetting what i wrote. fml. genuinely omfg.

warnings: fat-shaming, insults, violence

if you thought that this was the end of Chae-young's antics... you were very wrong.

"wonwoo-oppa~" x100

wonwoo had never been this annoyed in his life. during the whole event, he stuck by yn's side the whole time but chae-young wouldn't stop trying to approach him. finally...

"please leave me alone."

"sorry? wonwoo-oppa please speak up!"

"I said, leave me alone. please! it's very irritating to have you follow yn and i everywhere! leave us alone please!"

chae-young lost it.

"WHY HER? WHY YN? SHE ISN'T EVEN THAT PRETTY! SHE ONLY LOOKS DECENT NOW BECAUSE OF HER MAKEUP!"

heads turned towards them as chae-young's husband tried to pull her away.

"I have the face of a model. and i am one. why is it her? yn is fat and ugly! she was overweight at one point you know? do you really want to be with a slut like her?"

"oh so i'm a slut?" it was wonwoo's turn to hold yn back. "what about you huh? trying to seduce my boyfriend while you have a HUSBAND?"

"how else did you get people to buy your ugly paintings and "art"? i wouldn't be caught dead with those crappy paintings in my house!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU FAKE BITCH-"

yn broke free of wonwoo's grasp and slapped chae-young in the face. (much to the delight of a lot of her relatives)

"HOW DARE YOU!" chae-young of course retaliated and scratched yn across the face with her nails, drawing blood in lines across her face. she then used her heel to stomp at yn's arms.

"CHAE-YOUNG! THAT'S ENOUGH!" her husband's sudden outburst shocked everyone. "please. stop embarrassing yourself. stop embarrassing me. i think i've had enough. every day you put people around you down because you want to look better. you abuse your position as my wife and you treat me like shit. i think... i think i've had enough. you're ungrateful to everything and just spoiled."

"this isn't about you, Jaeho. this is about m-"

"it's never not about you. let's get a divorce. maybe then you'll get the attention you yearn for."

after that, yn's parents and Chae-young left, begging Jaeho to reconsider. Soon after, the rest of the family began to wrap up the event, sending congratulations to yn and wonwoo.

"does it still hurt?"

"not much... i'm sorry about her."

"don't apologise. it isn't your fault."

"sorry for dragging you there with me. i should have just went alone."

"it's okay. stop saying sorry."

dino burst into yn's room.

"yn... there was a parcel for you. but..."

"but?"

"there was blood leaking out from it. so i opened it..."

"what was it?"

"someone sent you a box full of dead rats. there was a note."

"what? what did it say?"

"I know you're here. yn ln. you're next."

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

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tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

*Peeks head out from hidey hole* Hey ya'll...I'm back! It has been a hot minute since I've been truly active here. Getting through the holidays, getting ready for school, general stay at home mom stuff, and just literal lack of writers block/motivation kept from working on wips. But I have seen and very much appreciated every tag! Thank you for not forgetting about me!

Today I've been tagged by the wonderful and glamorous @giddyupbuck, @wikiangela, and @disasterbuckdiaz. Looking forward to all your upcoming works and loving all that has been posted already!

Alright, so I know several are wanting some NFL Buck and I promise I will be getting back to the fic once I am finished with my 4+1 Buck's kindness being a cockblocker. So here is some of that! Enjoy!

A tear-filled okay is Buck’s only answer and together with Eddie, they sit there for a long minute, listening to Maddie take several deep breaths, each one becoming smoother than the last. After the fourth deep breath, she answer’s Buck’s earlier worries, “No one is hurt. I’m sorry.” Her voice is a little rough and she hiccups, trying to hold back more sobs. “Okay that’s good. Means whatever has you breaking our ear drums is fixable.” Buck reassures. “Our ears?” Maddie repeats, “Oh god. Eddie?” Mortification leeched into her sadness. “I’m here. Gave Buck quite a scare, me too.” Eddie answers gently. A short second of silence, then the sound of skin smacking skin, “Oh my god, I forgot all about the kid free weeks of debauchery Buck and you had planned! Oh god! Are you two even dressed? Did I interrupt?” Buck’s cheeks flare bright red and Eddie’s brain comes to halt for a moment at the Maddie’s description of their time without Christopher. “I swear I did not call it that!” Buck hissed under his breath to Eddie. Maddie clearly heard him and gives an awkward cough, “Um no. Actually, those were Howie’s words. Apparently, Eddie, you didn’t hide the uh contents of your duffle that well.” “Dios.” Eddie groaned, his mind flashing to bag he had packed to stay with Buck for the next weeks. Of course, he didn’t bring just clothes and basic toiletries. While Buck had an impressive collection of toys and other pleasurable items of his own, Eddie was a bit possessive.  He wanted new, unused, and untouched by anyone but him and Buck. Mainly him. And Chimney somehow caught a glimpse of the debauchery Eddie was bringing with him. The elder Buckley sibling hummed, “Yea…” “Can I be struck by lightening again?” Buck mumbles, scraping a harsh hand down his heated face.

This fic is close to being done and I am super nervous because I am working on the final scene and its supposed to be very smutty with a very desperate Eddie. Never done that before and I'm hoping its up to standards. Anywho... Hope you all enjoyed! You can find previous snippets of this wip here.

Tagging (no pressure... bet you're surprised to me again! lol): @malewifediaz @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @thewolvesof1998 @jeeyuns @devirnis @lover-of-mine @911onabc @911-on-abc @bekkachaos @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @fortheloveofbuddie @spotsandsocks @theotherbuckley @ladydorian05 @elvensorceress @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @jesuisici33 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @honestlydarkprincess @eddiescowboy @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @arthursdent @glorious-spoon @buddierights @athenagranted @prosperdemeter2 @rainbow-nerdss @gayedmundodiaz

[beauty-and-passion]

CCCC Vol.1 - Calamity: introducing the chaos

Hello, everyone.

I made my offer, you accepted. And so, here I am, to talk about Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium, Vol. 1.

It will be quite a long ride, so let’s not waste more time and let’s start with…

_______________________________

Obligatory premise

I am not an expert on Chonny Jash, Tally Hall's albums, or any other song besides CCCC. All I know about Chonny is this album, the Q&A cj-anon told me about (thank you, bro! You can read it HERE) and that Mr. Jash has some fine curly hair - and, as a possessor of curly hair myself, I find him very stylish.

So my analysis won't be filtered through the lenses of a fan who knows everything about him. This is the perspective of someone outside the CCCC fandom, who focuses mostly on the album, the songs and all the small details an "outsider" like me might find interesting.

That means two things:

I might say things that are already well-known in the fandom. In that case, sorry for the repetition, I hoped to say something new. But also, hey, that means the album's message was so clear, even an outsider could get it.

I might say things that are wrong/have been denied by Chonny Jash himself. It's unlikely, considering that the man welcomed every interpretation and said it's up to us to decide/read the story as we want, but still, it might happen. In that case, please let me know through messages or reblogs, so I can add the correct information and make my analysis more complete.

One last thing, for all the people who have never heard of this album: the themes are mostly centered around tragedy, mental dissonance and suicide, so they’re not the funniest topics to talk about. Still, If they do not trigger you, try and give this album a chance: it'll be worth your time. I even wrote a whole post to explain why.

_______________________________

My sources

The whole album on YouTube (also, subscribe to Chonny Jash's channel and stream CCCC too, because it deserves it)

This blog that gives a wonderful insight into the songs

The great people on Genius.com always pay a lot of attention to every word of the songs

And here's the Q&A once again, because it always comes in handy

_______________________________

Why a “Charming Chaos Compendium”?

I know Chonny wanted to mimic the "Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum" album title, so instead of MMMM, we have CCCC. But also, why "Charming Chaos' Compendium" specifically? Why not "Confused Catastrophic Compilation" or something else?

Maybe it’s just because “Charming Chaos Compendium” sounds better. But if we consider the whole album, I think these words are simply the best-fitting ones to talk about.

* Chaos: That’s a chaotic album indeed: we have dark thoughts, fears, references to death. Heck, the longest, central section is called “Cacophony”, which shows even better the concept of chaos.

* Charming: Chonny said in the Q&A:

"I’ve been somewhat obsessed with the idea of duality and mental dissonance, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a social/moral perspective. The idea that the same brain can produce completely separate and juxtaposed conclusions from a single input is strange, and something I’ve noticed fairly frequently throughout my currently short life. CCCC is a manifestation of those dissonances from an extremely personal and biased perspective, in song form."

These concepts might be dark, but there’s also a charming component of them - if we consider the adjective “charming” with the meaning of “fascinating”. The “duality” of our brain is one of the mysteries of humankind’s nature that we still can’t fully grasp - a lot of people play with it, like Chonny does here. It’s fascinating to see how he does it and what his interpretation is.

* Compendium: a compendium is a "collection of concise but detailed information about a particular subject" and what's more concise and detailed than a two/three minute song that should explain the situation, show the characters and explore their feelings?

Also, it’s a word of Latin origin - and not the last one, considering Chonny will use three more words with Latin origin to title the three acts of his album (Calamity, Cacophony, Concord).

_______________________________

Time Machine Reprise: start of a new loop

What a peculiar choice for an opening song. What kind of album starts with a reprise?

Well, maybe one that is a time loop. And Chonny made it clear two things about it:

he’s stuck inside it because of the constant clash between Heart and Mind

maybe he will get out of said loop by "writing different songs"

Keep both of them in your mind, when we will reach the last songs of Concord.

Also, do not forget why this is the Calamity act: as the name suggests, a calamity is a “disastrous event that leads to tragic, dramatic consequences” - in this case, the split of Chonny’s mind into three parts.

But what is this event? What happened that was so “disastrous” to lead to such a drastic split? And how are the two things connected?

_______________________________

Dream: Soul's introduction

It’s very telling that the first character who appears right after Chonny’s introduction is Soul. And it’s even more interesting, if we remember what Chonny said about Soul in the Q&A:

"The Soul is slightly separated — fittingly — in that I didn’t know exactly what to call the character when I was first bringing them to fruition. ‘Body’ was the original name if I remember correctly, but it felt kind of wrong, as I wanted the character to be a little less concrete/tangible. The third character was always meant to be a sort of husk/shell/veneer, and so it took me a while to settle on ‘Soul’."

So, Soul:

is slightly different/separated from Heart and Mind

was supposed to be the Body

is a sort of husk/shell/veneer

And if we also consider that:

Soul’s introduction comes right after Chonny’s

Soul often refers to Chonny/Whole by using the words “me/myself” (Mucka Blucka, The Soul Eclectic, The Bidding), while Heart and Mind talk about Whole as “their vessel”

I think we can safely assume that Soul is closer to Chonny, compared to the other two sides. And we have a confirmation of that, considering Soul’s nature: since he’s a husk/shell, Soul “contains” Chonny, while Heart and Mind are more like “attributes/aspects” of Chonny.

In addition to that, Dream adds other information about this character:

*Soul is aware of the loop: Soul’s reaction to the start of a new cycle is panic, then tiredness. "I don't know if I can go another round of cacophony", he says and that alone proves he knows what happened and he knows what will happen, because he already experienced all of it.

This point is also fundamental for the worldbuilding, because it implies that Chonny and his sides have the same amount of information and the same level of awareness. Unlike works like Sanders Sides in which the parts hide information from their whole, CCCC does not have this delay. All Chonny knows, his sides know as well.

*Soul is tired of Heart and Mind: "My sympathy's draining me dry" implies that there was a time (maybe in previous loops) in which he was more sympathetic towards them. But after reliving the loop who knows how many times, he’s growing tired of their constant bickering.

*Soul is more powerful than Heart and Mind: this is only the first time he implies they need to “take him over”, but neither of them is strong enough to “control him”.

*Soul is moved by the will to live: for the entire album, Soul has one goal and one goal only. To reunite. To come back into one. And even if he gets tired of Heart and Mind, even if he ponders suicide, to finally get some peace, in the end it’s hope that prevails. Right when it seems the dark thoughts are taking over, Soul finds the strength to try again, one more time. And maybe "when we become whole, it'll hold".

All of this is not motivated by religion or faith in a superior being, but by pure, simple, will to live. Life is short, so it’s better to give it a try anyway, rather than not try at all and regret it.

But that’s not all. This song also introduces names here, so let’s talk a bit about them too:

Apollo - god of the sun, but also of arts, oracles, and knowledge. Wikipedia also adds:

His oracles were often consulted for guidance in various matters. He was in general seen as the god who affords help and wards off evil. 

and

Apollo also encouraged the founding of new towns and the establishment of civil constitutions, is associated with dominion over colonists, and was the giver of laws.

Wow, isn’t that very fitting for Mind? He also wants to become the "giver of laws" and the one who "wards off the evil” aka Heart (The Mind Electric).

Artemis - sister of Apollo, associated with the moon, goddess of nature and animals and:

(she) punishes harshly those who cross her. Artemis' wrath is proverbial, and represents the hostility of wild nature to humans

So Heart isn’t associated with love and kindness as anyone would expect, but with wilderness and instincts.

And wow, isn’t this fitting as well? Heart himself will tell he’s not just the love, but also “the hate” and “the emotional side”. Of course he’s wild and impulsive. And yes, there’s also the Juno incident which is another great proof.

Atlas - a Titan condemned to hold up the sky for eternity. Basically Soul’s job: to keep everything together, while the other two fuckers slowly make their vessel crumble. And he does it in all the time loops. Poor Soul, he definitely needs a vacation.

Harmonia - goddess of harmony and concord. That should represent the union of these three characters into Whole/Chonny. And I love that Wikipedia specifically used the word "concord" - the same Chonny chose for his third act. He was saying from the start that this is the goal to reach.

And they will, but only by going through a long, long round of Cacophony.

Next post ->

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

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[igotanidea]

(4) No strings attached :J.T x plus-size!reader

masterlist

part. 1

part 2

part 3

***

When she woke up the next morning the hangover was definitely ruling over her. The dizziness and dryness in the mouth were enough to pin her down to bed with a single groan, but forcing herself to open eyes she quickly realized that this was definitely not her apartment. But the similarity in the accommodation plan was unmistakable. She was in Jason’s flat.

“Oh, shit…. What did I do?” she whined, slowly propping herself up, checking if she still had underwear on and looking around the room she found herself in. It was simple and surprisingly tidy, the whole place filled with books and out of curiosity she reached for the one left on the nightstand. Jane Austen. That was surprising. She would never thought him to be the guy to read romance novels. But hey, who was she to judge his choice in literature?

The thing that caught her attention even more was the glass of water and a painkiller that Jason put right next to the book. Seemingly for her. It was …. nice. And thoughtful. And only added to her guilt of being such a cold bitch for him from the beginning. Sure, he got her into a very sticky and awkward situation, but she would be a hypocrite to say that she never were in similar position. 

Y/N sighed deeply, reaching for the water and taking a few gulps. Her brain was filled with so many thoughts and blurry memories of the last night. she wasn’t exactly sure how the night went and how she ended up here, but judging by the state of her clothes, nothing indecent happened. And that was a relief.

After a couple minutes, she finally found enough strength to get out of the bed, her feet landing on the semi-warm wooden floor. So far, so good.

Well, at least until she opened the door and the light hit her right in the eyes, causing her to groan, grab her head and reach the wall for support. Damn it! She almost tripped over her own feet and that was embarrassing, considering the fact that Jason was standing right in front of her. Wearing nothing but shorts.

“Hey there, neighbor.” He laughed, taking a step towards her and preventing her from hitting the ground. His hands might have wondered a bit lower than it was absolutely necessary , but he just couldn’t help himself.  “slept well?”

“I…..” she mumbled, still not fully rooted in reality, his sudden, unexpected touch making her shiver. “What …. happened?”

“How much do you remember?”

“Not much….. Celebration with Lena? Meeting Red Hood?”

“Red hood, huh? Was he really as scary as they say?” Jason raised an eyebrow

“He seemed…. sad, you know. Angry, sure, but more sad. Like he was in need of a friend.”

“Really? Is that the impression you got from the fright of the Gotham crime world?”

“We all need someone sometimes. And given his history…..”

“What history? How do you know it?”

“Nevermind.” She muttered, looking down at her hands. That sudden cut off was a bit suspicious, but since she was in a bad mental and physical state, Jason decided to drop the subject.

“Speaking of friends, do you remember what you said when you banged on my door at 5 am?”

“I did what?!” her eyes grew wide in confusion and damn, she looked so innocent and fragile. She did not remember that. “God!” her hands travelled to her face, covering the reddened cheeks. Talk about embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

“I could have used that, you know princess? You are very pretty ….”

“Stop it, Todd!” she punched his chest, feeling all those muscles flex under her touch.

“Make me.” He whispered grabbing her wrist and moving forward slightly, looking her straight into the eyes.

She was standing in his kitchen, only in an oversized T-shit, her legs and feet bare, with glistening eyes, parted lips and hand on his exposed chest. He wasn’t lying. He could have used her when she stumbled inside his apartment. Fuck. He could act on his fantasies right that moment, but there was something in her that made him stop. He wanted to seduce her, to make her give up voluntarily. Such an innocent girl. Would be a hundred times better to break her than to force her.

“Jason….” She whimpered, feeling his fingers caress her skin gently, lightly. It was nothing more than a touch, just that, and yet it sparked something in her.

“Yes?” he leaned even closer, his face now inches from hers “Do I make you nervous?”

Fuck, he was. She knew him for like three weeks, but there was something so strangely alluring about this guy. And the way he was starting to make her feel was not how a good girl should behave.

“What are you doing?” she gasped, her body responding to his caresses, involuntarily moving a couple inches forward, almost closing the gap between them.

“What does this look like?” his hands found a way to her waist, under her shirt, squeezing her sides and moving up and down. She was already giving up to him, letting out the quietest moans. It was nice. It’s been so long since someone, anyone held her like that. And she wanted to be held and touched and kissed and …. “Like I said, you are very pretty…” he whispered in her ear, mouth finding a way to her neck, brushing over it almost imperceptibly. Oh, he knew what he was doing.

Oh, fuck! She was on a hiding to nothing.

“Todd….” She whined, flexing her body under his ministrations. “Shit.” Her hand found  a way to his hair, tangling in the strands as he started kissing her neck, this time fully, not playing around, nibbling on her soft spot.

“I want you, baby….” he bit on the sensitive skin “Come on, don’t fight me. Your body tells me everything your words cannot. Let me have you. Let me make you feel good.”

“I….” she shuddered “we barely know each other…..”

“So what?”

“We are neighbors!”

“So what?” he shrugged, fingers travelling up, playing with her collar. “makes it so much easier to get together. Come on, baby, say yes…. Say yes to me.”

“Yes” she whimpered. ‘yes, yes, yes, Jason. Please. “

She was lost. She was his.

“Y/N…” he panted, pressing his mouth to hers. Shit, she was so much sweeter and softer than he imagined. It was just perfect having her like this. As much as he wanted more and more and more of her, it was not his intention to startle her. So instead of lifting her up and taking her back to his bed, which she barely left, he settled on standing in the kitchen, enjoying the moment, working his hands and mouth hard enough to make her melt. Again, he needed her full consent to everything. Going full on included.

“So…. good.” She whined tracing patterns all over muscles on his back, pulling him closer

“Do you need that?” he replied, playing with the hem of her shirt “cause I got some plans that does not include any layers.”

“You can do what you want to me….” She panted “I…..”

She didn’t get to finish as a loud noise interrupted them and woke Jason up.

“FUCK!” he yelled realizing that all of that was just a fragment of his crazy, lust-filled imagination. And yet, he was holding onto it desperately, still feeling her soft skin under his fingers, seeing her pretty e/c eyes and the way she was so submissive. “Fuck…..” he whispered again, rubbing his forehead and falling back onto the cushions. Only for a second though, since his vigilante instincts brought him back to the thought that it was noise that interrupted him. He sprung out of bed, throwing boxers and T-shirt on and rushed towards the main room.

“Y/N?”

“Oh, um, hi….” She froze like a deer in a spotlight, fully dressed and looking like nothing happened the night before, definitely not being hangover and with shoes in her hands. She was clearly trying to sneak out, but the loose floorboard squeaked loudly and exposed her.

“What are you doing?”

“Um…. Sorry to wake you, I know it’s early, but I think it’s time for me to go. I… did stupid shit coming here and ….”

“What about starting over?”

“About what?” her eyes grew wide in confusion

“You said it yesterday. Something about starting off the wrong foot and wanting to make it better.”

“Right.” She bit on her bottom lip, eyes fixed on the floor “I guess I did.”

“How about I make you breakfast for starters? And we can talk while at it?”

“You cook?”

“Yeah, I’m not really a sissy in case you didn’t notice.”

“What’s on the menu?” she raised an eyebrow, daring him.

“Me?” he smirked and turned around making her laugh. Probably for the first time since they knew each other. “What?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you? I’ll settle for pancakes if you’re up for a challenge”

“Oh, it’s on. “

***

It was something new for both of them. They ate. They laughed. They talked. A real ice breaker in their relation.

“You are so different than you seem at first glance, you know Todd.” She mumbled, chewing on the pancake. He wasn’t lying. He was a really capable cook.

“What is that supposed to mean?” he raised an eyebrow. “I am a mean, heartbreaking bad boy. And don’t you ever think differently.”

“Sure, Todd. Sure.” Y/N smiled lightly, her eyes landing straight on his face “wouldn’t dare. I’m just saying that, perhaps, I misjudged you. I mean, Jane Austen?”

“What?” that caught his attention. So… this wasn’t just a  dream?

“You left the book on your nightstand. Honestly, Emma  was not my favorite of her works. Anyway, thanks for the free food, but I really have to go now. Much to do. “

“It’s Saturday.”

“So what? I am a busy girl. “

“with what exactly.”

“none of your….” She started but then sighed deeply, shaking head and realizing she promised to do better “family business, to  say the least.”

“Fine by me. Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?”

“Stop pushing it.” She warned, one foot out the door “see you around, Todd.”

***

“How the fuck did you find me?!” her angered voice echoed through the empty hangar

“Y/N….” the man who called upon her cooed mockingly “Y/n, y/n, y/n….. my little sweet girl. Did you really think you can escape me? By running back to Gotham?” he grabbed her chin and forced her eyes up “I got you right where I want you.”

“I’m not  interested in whatever proposition you may have for me.” She yanked herself free “never was, never will be.”

“How about I convince you otherwise?”

***

She was so done. 

Tired and stressed by both building the new future and being haunted by the past and people. 

Fucking Saturday. A day of relax damn it. Left her broken and exhausted more than any other shitty day of the work week.

And to add up to that, there was something laying on her doormat. A little piece of paper with barely a few words on it.

“Oh, what now?!” she scoffed bending down and picking it up. Honestly she was expecting another death threat from Madison or …. someone else, but it was a note from her neighbor.

Still fancy that wine I owe you?

She smirked to herself and without any hesitation, moved to the door to her right. Jason opened them almost immediately, as if he was waiting for her to show up.

“Mind if I come in?” Y/N tilted her head, playing with the note

“Not at all, sunshine.”

Let me know if you want a tag in this, but please check the tagging policy before :)

[huellitaa]

bee's record player: march edition. 🎀𓂃 ࣪˖

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 !! notice !! ♡

surpriseee <3 wanted to try and add a little of my personal influence to my girlblog since music is literally my entire life & thought it might be funny to show u all what makes up the chaotic glittery mess that is my brain (and because there are almost 1000 of you beautiful people following me whatt?? thank you😭). i've allllways wanted to do smth like this too so, here u go !! 🩷💗

(+ this is a way for me to rant about my interests without being annoying to my friends / moots 😭. to anybody who has listened to me rant or cry or scream or whatever over music ily guys mwa)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 NEW ARRIVALS

goddess, laufey

♡ released march 6th, 2024

♡ single

♡ running time: 4 minutes 28 seconds

eternal sunshine, ariana grande

♡ released march 8th, 2024

♡ full album / LP

♡ best songs: supernatural, the boy is mine, we can't be friends (wait for your love), intro (end of the world)

♡ running time: 35 minutes 33 seconds

unheard, hozier

♡ released march 22nd, 2024

♡ extended play / EP

♡ best songs: too sweet (i adore this song.)

♡ running time: 13 minutes 59 seconds

super real me, illit

♡ released march 25th, 2024

♡ extended play / EP, debut! ♡

♡ best songs: magnetic, midnight fiction

♡ running time: 9 minutes 36 seconds

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 BEE'S TRACKS: TOP 10

♡ 10. my world, illit

girly girl song!! i've been obsessed with illit's whole super real me album, their debut is soo good oh my gosh. its criminally short but i seem to have listened to it a lot !! 😭

♡ 9. we can't be friends (wait for your love), ariana grande

i have SO MUCH to say about this song but it resonates with me so much in so many different ways and i just. oh my god. ariana i love u so much

♡ 8. we got so much, le sserafim

k so i initially didn't really like this song but... it's grown on me. a lot. since it first came out. um. it's pretty simple honestly and it's just really girly girl it makes me feel like a school girl i love it

♡ 7. this is what makes us girls, lana del rey

girlblogger anthem!! okay confession i did not get into this song until LAST MONTH. i know. it's terrible and i am ashamed i am so sorry. but i have formed such a strong emotional attachment to this song its crazy i adore it

♡ 6. imperfect for you, ariana grande

exposing myself pt.3 i was in a really big depressive slump for like one half or more of this month actually and this song helped me so much i can't 😭 i love you ari

♡ 5. the boy is mine, ariana grande

(are you noticing a pattern here yet) um another ariana grande song no lol um idk what ur talking about haha 🥰 this song is so twerkable im sorry i wasnt a fan at first but im obsessed i need to stop

♡ 4. smart, le sserafim

no words. once again wasn't a huge fan originally but oh my god im obsessed w it now. afrobeat type of songs are, will, and always be top tier and i will die on this hill. (i've been SO OBSESSED with le sserafim lately but i think thats fairly obvious here😭)

♡ 3. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

i adore this song oh my god. its become one of my favs of all time since it came out. this was on loop for HOURS when i first heard it and its such a comfort song for me. it shows her growth so beautifully and there's so much about it i just absolutely adore like i could write a whole essay on this song and still wouldnt be able to express how much i love it

♡ 2. magnetic, illit

illit was bound to pop up here again this month tbh ok so me and my bsf were listening to this on loop the entire time at school a little after it came out like we were sitting in the front row of our class and were still watching the magnetic mv under the desk on her phone. so in love with this song it makes me so happy n feel so cute i ahh <3

♡ 1. supernatural, ariana grande

SUPERNATURAL IS THE SONG EVER. first day it came out i listened to the album and this was on loop constantly for the next week or more. it's made it up to my top 10 fav songs of all time ever and i listen to A LOT of music. this song is my life<333

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ALBUMS

♡ 1. eternal sunshine, ariana grande

fairly self explanatory. i love u ari. there was soo much ari this month bc ive been a diehard ari stan since i was 8 and have never looked back. since yes and released in january i have been ecstatic about ag7 releasing in march after 4 YEARS of no ari so this was MONUMENTAL for me 😭😭 THE DROUGHT IS OVER ARIANATORS RISE 🩷🩷🩷

♡ 2. super real me, illit

so basically the day this album came out my best friend was spamming me about them and i only listened to them like 2 days after cuz she was annoying me about it and OH MY GOD. i listened to them and then proceeded to loop the whole album for the next 72 hours 💗 and for a debut as well is amazing ily illit girlies

♡ 3. with you-th, twice

so i wasn't much of a fan at first bc they just sounded really similar and bland to me but its grown on me a lot since it came out and i've been listening to it so much throughout the entirety of march. its just so oddly comforting in a way and feels like a hug in music form (+ rush and bloom are the best songs argue with the wall)

♡ 4. easy, le sserafim

self explanatory. i'm obsessed with le sserafim at the moment and this album is everything to me. ass shaking album 10/10

♡ 5. k-12, melanie martinez

i have been revisiting one of my fav albums of all time this month and its as amazing as always. this has been my favourite album of all time since it came out and i will never ever get over k12 🩷 10000/10!!!! <3

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ARTISTS

♡ TOMORROW X TOGETHER

♡ TWICE

♡ LANA DEL REY

♡ LE SSERAFIM

♡ ARIANA GRANDE

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 SPECIAL MENTIONS

♡ happy 1 year to portals by melanie martinez! oh my god this album helped me through all of 2023 and i went to see her on tour in london for my birthday last november and it was surreal. she's amazing. i adore her and this album (i have it on vinyl hehe) and love it SOO MUCH 💖

♡ expect ordinary things by ariana grande to be high high on my top 10 next month its been on loop for days now im obsessed

♡ there's going to be a LOT in next month's issue seeing as 2 of my all time favs are coming back next month, so prepare for that! so excited ahh <3 (one has already released at the time of writing this. prepare urselves.)

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 EDITOR'S NOTE

this was SO FUN oh my gosh. i am 100% making this a regular thing~ lmk if it was entertaining, improvements needed, artists / albums you'd like me to keep up with etc, or just general comments, ideas, reviews and so on. thank you so much for reading, this was so fun! look forward to next month 💗🫶💖

lots of love 💘

[watchingblsnowandforever]

We Are Ep. 14: Part 3/3

Hello again!! =D

Part 1 and Part 2

Warning: long post 😊😅 (also, I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been sleep deprived for the last two to three days because my insomnia and depression made comebacks, but I'm better now)

She reminds me so much of my own mom-

My mom adopts my friends, and no one has any say in it, while my dad encourages her 😭👍🏼

I absolutely love her relationship with all of them. While it's given that Peem will talk about Phum, Q has talked about Toey too, and it's quite obvious that Peem and his og group of friends have visited quite often before. She asks no question, and is so comfortable with them that they don't hesitate for a second to introduce their boyfriends. This is maybe not realistic (I'm pretty sure my mom while very similar wouldn't be this accepting) but it's very in line with this show, and I really like it.

GIVE ME MORE ACCEPTING PARENTS IN BL!!!

I am 100% sure that for a moment there, Phum's brain short circuited 😭

I mean, just look at it from his perspective. The boy he's head over heels for talks about him like this to his mom. If it were me, I'd be having an existential crisis right there, he has much more self control than me.

I'll be living here, in this moment for the next 1000 years, thanks for asking.

Listen, I'm a big fan of domestic fluff, BUT THIS???

Also, I don't usually talk about these, but on Phum's t-shirt, it says "ALWAYS FORWARD NO TURNING BACK" which is very relevant here because Peem helps him see a future, and to enjoy the present as it comes back. He's slowly but surely leaving his scarred past behind.

I have so many fic ideas smh

And yet, I don't really see you, complaining, Peem.

He says while sipping from his own glass. Very convincing, Peem.

THIS WAS SO CUTE OH MY GODS 😭😭🫶🏼

Btw, Peem? Phum is calling you "meow" for the rest of your lives. Just like you'll be calling him Puppy Phum. <3

oh-

These few seconds spoke so much.

The realization that this is what a real family is supposed to look like, that he'll probably never have this with his own parents.

But then- then he realizes that now he can have this. He can have Peem, and a family full of love and sit in the midst of his brother and his friends and Peem's friends and be accepted and loved.

Maybe he can't have this with his own parents, but he can have this with Peem, and that for him, is already far more than he could have ever imagined.

I just love that addition 😭😂

Peem is absolutely incapable of not calling Phum some version of "idiot (affectionate)" and I adore him for it. <33

Oho, violent Fang is back.

But seriously, let the others sleep, Pun and Toey 😭

THIS LOOK. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US??

There's only two eps left (?!!!!!), so I really hope that the next one is when they get together

The small thumb soothing his tummy 🥺🫶🏼

All we got are crumbs of ChainPun throughout and they still managed to make us go insane. Mad respect for their friends who have to deal with them on a daily basis 😭👍🏼

Also, when Peem got up to ask what they were doing and Phum pulled him back to sleep, did y'all see that tiny forehead kiss? My man never misses a chance to kiss Peem, and I am so proud of him.

This reminds me of such a funny story-

So. We went to visit this historical building (note: historical) and the stairs leading up were naturally kind of steep and broken. It was very crowded, so it was four or five teams/families to one guide. We went up slowly, but since the guide was obviously very used to it, he went up faster, and was waiting for us at the landing. So one couple asked how he got there so fast, and he jokingly said "I took the lift" and the man was like "Why didn't you tell us before?? One of us [I don't remember who he said] just had knee surgery!" and the rest of us were just staring at him like ???? are you listening to yourself- 😶

My parents and I laugh about it to this day 😭😂 (this was almost 8 years back OH GODS SAYING THAT MADE ME FEEL SO OLD-)

What next ep looks like:

What I looked like after watching the trailer:

(In that order.)

That's it for ep 14! See y'all in 4 days (I fear for what will become of me after I watch ep 15).

If you got this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here have a croissant 🥐

[dilucsflame33]

❄️ Hi darling!

Could I please get a Bayverse DonniexFemaleReader?

Naughty list, 6 and 15.

Kink list 1, 2, 7, 11, and 14.

Thank you so much 💜💜💜

Bows & Tinsel 🔥

Where's my Donnie lovers at? Cause this one is for you. 😉 Your prize is on the bottom, love! Hope you like it. ^^

🔞 Warning 🔞 NFSW 18+ Only

Bondage, Dom/Sub dynamic, oral, fingering, blindfold, and praise kink.

During the holidays, Donnie usually prefers working like usual. He would work on projects for missions, or just simple side stuff that keeps his brothers at bay while he works on the main projects. Guess you can call him a "shut in," yet you don't mind it at all.

But it would affect you if he doesn't take good care of himself, like he's doing at the moment.

"Donatello, if you do not get out of that lab so help me I will drag you out myself." You half threatened as you organized some shirt boxes onto your kitchen table. The poor woman wanted to wrap some gifts for everyone and have Donnie come over to spend some time together.

But the projects he's doing have to be done. The poor guy was running to no sleep for over 24 hours and it's slowly killing you that he hasn't been taking care of himself like he's supposed to.

"But I had to-"

"No buts sir," Grabbing the roll of wrapping paper, you placed it on the table and picked up your phone. "Have you forgotten that you're supposed to be spending some time with me? I understand that the projects are important but, please, manage your time wisely."

"I'm sorry but my brain just short circuited when you said "sir," so I need you to repeat that." You could just hear him smirking through the phone and you can't help but laugh at the irony. "You know how much that gets me going."

"Well the only thing that's keeping you going is that third cup of coffee you're drinking right now." Funny enough, you could hear the poor turtle cough like he was choking on something.

"How did you know I was-"

"I know you, my love. We've been dating for two years now. If I don't know you by now, then I am living under a rock. I'm just as observant as you are."

With that you rolled out the wrapping paper, lined up the shirt box, and started cutting the paper with the scissors. Your focus was no longer apparent to the phone and tried to finish the several shirt boxes that needed to be done.

From the lab, Donnie could hear the paper being cut and he felt guilty. You both had planned to wrap gifts together and, here he was, so engrossed by work that he had forgotten about the plan you've both set up. It wasn't his fault for having seven projects in line.

"Darling, I'm sorry for forgetting. Leo has been nagging at me for not finishing this project and pretty much gave me a deadline. I don't know why he has to give me one when he has never done so in the beginning." He rambled as he heard you stop cutting. He knows how you are when you are focused on something, so he doesn't want to go into much detail when you are barely focusing on his words.

"Well, does he realize that his younger brother is lacking in sleep and food? When was the last time you ate a proper meal, baby?" She could just feel her man wince because of the pause that came after. "Donnie?"

"I had a pop tart!"

"That's not- Okay, mister, you better get your shell over here in ten minutes. If not, I am coming down there myself and giving your brother a lecture." That stern tone was evident and Donnie wasn't gonna test your authority.

Even though he's mainly the one that's in control.

With that thought in mind Donnie chuckled, he could just see you raising your brow. The woman knew that chuckle. She has heard it before and it made your heart race.

"You're so sexy when you take control like that, darling, but I think we both know who's in charge in the relationship." He smirked.

You hummed. "Right now it's me because you don't know when to take a break."

Donnie nods. "All right. You wanna act like a brat, I'll treat you like one."

"Wise words coming from someone saying it through a cellular device."

"That's it." He says as he exited out of his lab and went straight to the entrance of the lair. "If you're not naked by the time I get there, you're gonna get punished."

The woman laughed, she loves to irk him and get his blood pumping. Yet she can't help but to feel turned on by his words. "What if I'm not? What are you gonna do then, Sir?"

That bartone in his voice just went deep and she could feel her essence flowed out from her femininity. Oh, she could feel his cock deep inside her; mouth watering just thinking of all the ways he could do to her. His callused hands caressing and taking control of her body. He knew her weak points - knew where to press and have her come undone with just a touch of the fingertip.

She didn't realize that she whimpered just by these thoughts alone. This was what Donnie's specialty lie's from within: he could use the right words and have your mind racing with all the possibilities.

"Already whimpering for me, darling? How precious." His tone teasing, she could hear movement from his end and she knew he was on his way to her. "I can't wait to unwrap you, honey, just wait until I get my hands on you."

Y/N can't help but snicker as she watches the window through the dining area. As soon as the call ended, the woman locked the window so he couldn't get in. But, knowing him, he would unlock it with the gadgets he's carrying. That man has everything, and nothing will stop him from getting what he wants.

With that, her front facing the window, she continued cutting the paper and wrapped the boxes. It's been five minutes since the call ended and her heart was racing tenfold; adrenaline and anticipation coursing through her veins as she was constantly eyeing the window.

"Where is he?" She says as the silence throughout the apartment was deafening. Nothing could be heard, not even the creak of metal when he arrived. Sighing, she continues with her progress. "These gifts don't wrap themselves."

"Can I unwrap you instead?"

She almost screamed but a calloused hand went towards her mouth as Donnie turned her to face him, a smirk evident on his face. "You think that you can lock me out? You're sadly mistaken, darling. It's not the first time you've done this and, just like last time, you've forgotten your bedroom window."

Her eyes widened. How could she forget about her bedroom window?

His chuckle was deep and seductive as he leaned down to her neck. "It was like you were begging me to punish you, am I right?" When his woman whimpered, he had his answer. "I thought so. You just couldn't help yourself, can you? Just the thought of me ravishing you until there's nothing left turns you on doesn't it, pet.

"Having my cock down your throat, my fingers working wonders to you. Oh, don't get me started on the way my cock hits all the right spots when I pound inside you. No matter how many times you conceal those screams and moans, you just can't hold them in because you're just drowning in ecstasy." His hand left your lips and slowly trailed behind the nape of your neck, then he grasped your hair and pulled it back. "You love it when I take control like this, right pet? Tell me, darling, what exactly you so desire."

After that he took off his mask and wrapped it over your eyes, blocking your vision. The woman can't help but to swallow whatever was in her throat, her throat suddenly feels dry as he leaned towards her neck once again and left feather-like kisses.

"I-I want you, please." Y/N begged as his hazel eyes watched your every reaction, the aroma of your arousal filled his nostrils and he let out a deep groan from his chest.

"That's not good enough, darling. I need more of a description." He smirked as another whimper fell from your lips.

"Donatello, if you do not-" a gasp escaped you as you were turned again and now laid face down onto the table.

"This is not Donatello right now, pet. This is your professor and you do as I say, do you understand?" You bit your lip and you nodded. "Good girl. Now, let's get you naked since you haven't done as you were told."

Donnie stripped you until you were bare. The cold air made your nipples erect and your beloved made a hum of satisfaction.

"Look at you, darling. So beautiful and extravagant." He kissed her shoulder blade and slowly made his way down her spine. The woman's reactions to his touches were glorious; the way she shivered and her legs trembled with anticipation, Donnie couldn't help himself as he trailed his hand to her femininity. His fingertips made work with her flower and the woman spread her legs for him, wanting more contact.

But he broke apart from her and she whimpered. "What's wrong, pet? Disappointed that you can't get what you want." He teased as he placed his groin to her bottom, rocking and grinding as their moans of ecstasy rolled through them. "You could have this if you weren't such a brat."

A whimper-like cry escaped your lips as you shook your hips, teasing the man even further. "Stop screwing with me, Donnie! I'm trying to wrap gifts!"

A chuckle left him as he pulled away from her, a cold wave rushed through her as she realized what she had done. "That's it. I'm tying you up with some tinsel."

Oh, how she had regretted opening her big mouth. Tied and vulnerable, she cried out in ecstasy as the wave of release washed over her for the umpteenth time. His purple mask was soaked from her pleasurable tears, her legs shaking as his mouth devoured her flower like he hasn't had any water in days.

And she was his oasis. His safe haven that saved him from dying of thirst.

His churrs, growls, and groans traveled to her femininity and she couldn't help but tremble from the intensity.

Her hands tied above her head with the tinsel, legs spread, as sweat glistened from her body. The way his fingers worked inside her as his tongue moved like he was licking icing from his favorite snack, his woman can't help but mewl as another release was building. He could sense it, too. Like he has memorized her body language and she was one of his many experiments to work on.

"You better be counting how many times you've released, pet. I will give you a pop quiz, if you don't."

Oh, how she couldn't stand his pop quizzes. She always failed. He works her up so high and when he drops her, it hits hard - hard enough that she can't control her body anymore.

Her body was his to control.

He has her in his hands, not that she wants to escape but with the pop quiz. . . she's in danger.

"Judging by your reaction, you have lost count." Her body tensed up as she felt him smirk on her inner thigh. "Pop quiz, darling." She whimpered out in frustration, the poor woman can't escape them no matter how hard she tried.

"Like the last time, if you answer three questions correctly you will get a reward. First question," he says as he teased the spot inside of her, licking his lips as she whimpered. "What does DNA stand for?"

"Deoxyribonucleic acid."

"Correct." He praised as he sucked on her flower and she squealed in pleasure. "Second question: what is the most abundant gas in the Earth's atmosphere?"

The woman cried out as Donnie hit that one spot inside her; his finger worked magic, brutally hitting it as she tried to think of the answer to his question. He's not going to make this easy for her and she knows it.

With enough strength she could muster, she whimpered out, "N-Nitrogen."

"Correct, you're doing wonderfully." He slowed down his thrusts and she sighed with relief and frustration. "Final question: Who loves you the most?"

The woman smiled as her heart warmed with love and adoration. "Donatello."

She could feel the smile radiating from him as he pulled away. "Correct. Now, for your reward."

The blindfold was soon taken off of her and she had to adjust her sight. When her vision was adjusted she watched as Donnie slowly took off his belt, then unbuttoned his pants. Her mouth watered as he was soon fully naked before her and another whimper escaped her lips as he teased her flower with the tip of his cock.

"You look so beautiful, darling. I love you so much and I'm sorry for forgetting something so important. Let me make it up to you."

With that, he stretched her out like no man ever could.

She won't be walking or wrapping the rest of the gifts tonight.

Here's your prize! ^^

Tags:

@turtle-babe83 @leosgirl82 @thelaundrybitch @turtlesmakemehappy @crazysarah98 @hotredphoenix @sketchytychou @pheradream15 @exovapor

Here's my Master List!

[kenny-the-ken]

Y O U + M E

Part 1

Soooo!!! Last nights South Park was everything I wanted but didn't know I needed!!! Kenny with his hood I mean,,, I am deceased. I'm having some serious writer's block, so please feel free to send me requests, HCs too!! I wanna get to know you all, and thanks for all the love on my previous fics. I normally hate my writing so knowing you guys like it is amazing!! This fic contains string language, angst, toxic thinking, obsession and sexual themes. ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!! If you guys like this fic I can write more parts!! Loosely based on the Netflix show YOU!!!

Kenny hasn't been with another girl since the last time, and that was not something he wanted to repeat. That was until his eye was caught by you, and he couldn't tear his eyes away.

You were new here, family just moved to town and you had transferred to South Park High, and he was determined to know more about you.

It's not an obsession, he isn't obsessed, is he? So far he knew your name was y/n, you had moved here from the UK, so quite a far away from home, you were shy, trying your best to fit in, you were alternative in how you dressed, Kenny has already touched himself thinking about you, and he swore it was the best wank he'd ever had! It was clear to him that you were thirsty for that kind of attention, blushing as other boys talked and flirted with you, and his blood boiled, you would be his, who the fuck did these other guys think they were? How dare they even look at you in that way!

Although he didn't blame them, those short skirts, tight tops with too much cleavage and today was the day that Kenny's resolve broke, he could no longer watch from the sidelines, you were wearing the shortest shorts he'd ever seen with knee high socks and a lace bralette, no bra! God he was going insane. You had a flannel shirt tied loosely around your waist and Doc Martin boots on, and god you had tattoos! He swore you were so angelic looking it was sinful, and he knew he had to talk to you, before someone else could shoot their shot. You would be his. He was damned sure of it.

One problem though, how to approach you without creeping you out? You didn't know him, but he knew you, you were both meant for each other, you just didn't know it yet, but how to catch your attention. He'd have to think, and fast.

That was before his perverse thoughts were interrupted by the harsh ringing of the bell.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath, slamming his locker in annoyance before making his way to English class, plopping down on his seat, lost in his own thoughts as the rest of the class filtered into the room.

He was once again distracted from his thoughts about you by the scent of your perfume, his head rising as you both met each others gaze, you smiled at him, as he gave you a gapped tooth smile back.

Trust the teacher to ruin his shot!

"Quiet class! I have a lot planned for todays lesson so let's cut to the chase, I have paired you all up for group work, you will be working in pairs! This is an analysis of the prose we have been reading, and I expect a presentation and a written essay that both of you must present to the class next week."

She turned her back, writing on the chalk board who was paired together, and Kenny swore his heart skipped a beat when he noticed he was paired with you. He's never wanted to fist bump the air so much in all his life, but he didn't want you to notice him geeking out over you.

"Please sit next to your partner and get started straight away!" You teacher said to the class, and you moved your seat beside Kenny's, you both sharing a desk.

"Hey, I'm y/n, I'm new here from the UK so sorry if some of what I say doesn't make sense, our slang is hard to forget." You laughed, and Kenny nodded.

"Most people can't understand me either." He mumbled, his hood up. Let her see your face, idiot! His brain almost screamed at him as he unzipped his coat, taking his hood down, and it didn't go unnoticed by his friends. They knew he was hot on your tail, and what Kenny wants, he gets.

Your mouth was wide as you studied your partners face, a blush on your cheeks. He was hot, his fluffy blonde hair sitting messily atop his head, his pale skin and subtle freckles and that adorable little gappy smile. Fuck! You'd only moved a week ago and already you were crushing on someone.

"I'm Kenny. We can meet at the park after school and work on our project if you're up for up it?" He offered, you would definitely be turned off if you seen how his family were and what his home was like, and he was not losing you because of his parents and their usual neglectful bullshit.

"Or you could swing by my house? I'll get us coffee and order some pizza?" You offered, twiddling your pen between your thumb and forefinger, trying to avoid direct eye contact out of fear of blushing in front of him.

"That sounds a million times better, thanks." Kenny replied, a small smile on his face, he took this opportunity to sneak a quick look at your cleavage, and he swore he could make out the shape of your hard nipples through your bralette, and were those piercings?! Fuck, what were you doing to him? Don't get hard, Jesus Christ don't get hard!

"Can I have your number? So I can send you my address?" You asked, offering him your phone to punch his number into.

And he gladly accepted, typing his number on to your phone, and while you were distracted talking to Wendy he quickly installed a tracking app on your phone, just so he could know where you were at all times, to keep you safe of course.

"There you go." Kenny replied, holding your phone out to you as you took it from him, smiling at him.

"So... tell me a little about you, Kenny?" His eyebrow quirked at your sudden question. Were you wanting to find out more about him because you were partnered with him and just being friendly? Or did you ask because you were interested in getting to know him, because he wanted to know everything there was to know about you.

"I'm eighteen, I've lived in South Park for my whole life, and I've always been known of the poorest kid of the school, thanks to Eric over there." He said, nodding his head in the direction we're the older boy sat, you could hear him laughing at his own jokes, he seemed like an ass.

"I have a brother and a younger sister, Kevin and Karen. Just a warning though, people here love to gossip, so if anyone is bothering you, let me know." Kenny said kindly, his eyes not tearing from you once, it was as if you two were the only people in the room, god how was he going to control himself when he was in your bedroom, just you two.

"So tell me a little about yourself, y/n." Kenny inquired, and he was genuinely interested, soul mates needed to know all there was about each other, and he was determined to know you, he just hoped that you'd let him.

"Um... I'm eighteen too, I'm an only child, live with my mother, but she has some... problems, y'know?" You said, and Kenny knew exactly what you meant, his parents were the crème de la crème of drug and alcohol addicts, so he knew fine and well what she meant. Maybe they moved here for a new start.

"You smoke?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, you smoke weed?" You asked back, a small smirk on your face.

"Fuck yeah, I've dabbled with a lot of drugs, I mean, I've been exposed to them all my life." Kenny said, his eyes staring at his table, then back to you.

"I'll buy pizza and get us coffees if you bring the weed, deal?" You asked, putting your hand out to the blonde boy in front of you.

"Deal!" Kenny said, a smirk on his own face as the bell rang for the end of class.

You began packing up your things off your table and into your bag and as you bent down to grab your pen that had fallen on the floor, Kenny thought his eyes had popped fully out of his head. He stared at your ass and your thick thighs and my god how he wanted his head between them.

When you stood back up you finished packing and turned to see Kenny was waiting on you.

"If you wanna grab lunch together you can come with with me?" He asked, a small smile on his face, and boy did he hope that you said yes.

"That sounds lovely. Thanks, Kenny." You replied, throwing your back pack over your shoulder and beginning to walk out of the classroom with Kenny.

You could feel the eyes of other girls burning into the back of you as you both walked down the corridor, chatting together and making jokes as you both erupted into laughter.

Even though he was fully fixated on what you were talking about, Kenny was dazed, he was deep in thought, and it was all about you. About how your shirts hugged that perfectly round ass, how sensitive your nipples would be, what piercings would adorn them, did you have any tattoos that he couldn't see? His mind swirled.

As you both entered the cafeteria, he smiled and waved at his friends, before leading you over to introduce you.

"Guys, this is y/n m, she's new here. Y/n this is Eric, Kyle, Stan, Jimmy, Craig and Tweek." He said, pointing to each individual as he said their names, and you smiled.

"Hey guys, hopefully we can all be friends." You said, taking a seat between Kenny and Kyle.

"Kenny, how did you manage to get this pretty girl to befriend you?" Stan blurred outright, his cheeks going red as he averted both of your gazes.

"Um, we got partnered up together in English and it looks like we have a lot in common, and Kenny seems really nice." You said as the rest of the group nodded as if in sync.

"That makes sense." Kyle said to no one in particular and Kenny was in his own world again. You thought he was nice? He was making a good start, now he had to get you to fall in love with him, and he was pretty sure he knew how.

The rest of the day was pretty much standard procedure as far as Kenny was concerned, you had texted him, telling him to come over at 7pm.

So he had some free time on his hands. And he knew exactly what to do with it.

[prawndip]

Acting Grand…?

CHARACTERS: Alhaitham, Jean x gn!reader

TAGS: fluff, written before the release of 3.4 but didn't finish until afterwards, sumeru spoilers in general maybe

SYNOPSIS: being acting grand-somethings is tough work.

WORD COUNT: 1 123

NOTES: saw that alhaitham had become the acting grand sage in the trailer and knew this had to be written. also trying a new format with this one. also I'm so sorry jean's is so short in comparison to alhaitham's every time I went to write for her my brain was empty. also *cries* lost the 50/50 on alhaitham's banner. still draggin him home anyways

ALHAITHAM:

honestly you had expected that alhaitham would turn down the position of sage. you had also expected his work to increase tenfold as he waits for new sages to take office.

what you didn't expect was the way that alhaitham seemed to handle everything with such efficiency. where most people might have crumbled under all that responsibility, alhaitham appeared to be taking it all in stride. not that it was a bad thing. you were kind of impressed, actually

thing was, this mean he spent a lot, and I mean a lot of time in his office in the akademiya, and as his lovely partner, you make it your duty to "distract" him at least twice a day.

The smell of freshly cooked food makes its way through the Akademiya hallways. Students who follow their nose finds it leads them to you, happily strolling through the Akademiya to the office of the scribe, where your boyfriend has been cooped up in there all day doing a copious amount of paperwork. You’re surprised he still has time for anything else.

You approach the door to his office, knocking on it thre times, waiting for him to say something before opening the door. Faintly, you hear a ghostly, quiet “Come in.” from the other side. You frown, opening the door with a bit of concern.There he was, sitting in his office chair, with stacks of paper all over his desk, more than you remember seeing last time you were over. He seriously looked like a ghost in his seat. He looked fine this morning, what could have possibly drained him of all his energy in such a short time? He looks up to see you and a little bit of colour returns to his face.

“So, how is Grand Sage Alhaitham doing on this fine afternoon?” you joked, and he groans as he rests his head in his arms. “What, did they give you more things to do?”

“For the last time, I am Acting Grand Sage.” he clarifies, despite knowing you’re joking. “And they did. I have to review all the possible candidates for the new Sages.”

He sounds tired. He knows he sounds tired. He's been at this all day, all week even. You continue to frown a little despite your lighthearted attitude, pulling up a chair to sit next to him. You get a chance to look at what he was writing before you walked in, where although he had been at this for hours on end, his handwriting was still as neat as always. Still, you could sense that he was in need of a break, and you gently move the papers over to the edge of the large desk to place the food you bought on it.

He sniffs the food, a soft yet weary smile spreads over his face, the kind of smile only you are lucky enough to see on most days. "Curry shrimp?"

"Mhm! Just got it made fresh too!" you open the box up carefully, the scent of the freshly made food wafting throughout the office.

"Just in time. Here I thought I'd die of starvation otherwise." he said jokingly, despite the fact you had dropped by only a few hours, and he had only left his seat once since then, to drop off some papers. “Thank you though, I was wondering when you’d stop by.”

It was anything but silent between the two of you as you ate, simply taking the time to enjoy each other’s presense while things were slowing down. The papers were briefly forgotten about as you chatted about your day with him, and though he was most certainly listening, all that was on Alhaitham’s mind was how wonderful it was to be with you.

“Is something wrong?” you stop your rant about that annoying merchant you saw on the way where when you noticed a look on Alhaitham’s face was he tired? Bored of you? Instead, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, much to your surprise.

“Nothing. I just miss you, is all.”

JEAN

despite your best efforts to try and get her to do things otherwise, jean is incredibly stubborn, and takes on way more things than she can handle

of course, she does spend her off days with you, but on the days where there's lots to do and not enough time to do them, jean still manages to do all of it - at the cost of her sanity.

although you stop by multiple times a day to visit her, it's not uncommon for you to find her asleep in her office at the end of the day.

The sun had long since fallen behind the horizon as you entered the Knights of Favonius Headquarters. You had hoped Jean would be done by now, but it was one of those days where there was just so much she needed to get done, and you had just figured it was taking longer then usual. Still, you decided to check up on her.

You gently knock on the door to her office, quietly calling out her name. No answer. Frowning with concern, you open the door, and your expression softens at the way that the acting grandmaster had put her head in her hands, and you can slightly hear the sounds of her snoring softly. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for he to fall asleep on days like this, though you see that almost all her work seemed to be done.

"Jean?" you gently tapped her on the shoulder, your voice barely a whisper. "Jean it's me. Let's go home now."

She rises from her slumber, shaking away any drowsiness you may have had. "Y/N... how long have I been asleep for? what time is it? did I leave anything unfinished? Did I-"

"That doesn't matter," You begin to organize Jean's papers into a neat stack, setting them to the side, and you don't dare let her touch a pen to get back to work. "It's late now, and you need to get some proper rest for tomorrow, ok?"

Reluctantly, Jean agrees, taking your hand as she gets out of her chair, though she takes one last glance at her work before leaving her office altogether, shutting off the light.

As the two of you leave the Favonius Headquarters together, you can feel the way that Jean's head lull's to the side, resting it on your shoulder. She mumbles something that you can't quite understand, and you assume it to be about her work.

Truth be told, Jean was mumbling about how much she loved you. No matter how busy her days would become, the last couple hours of the day with you were already the best part.

[thriftingfreak]

Nothing Lasts Forever

Pairing: Luke Castellan x female ares!reader

Summary: Some moments in time where Luke and you can’t seem to figure out how you feel about one another. Part 1??? Maybe more if y’all like it!

Warnings: Yearning. Pretty much a yearning page at this point. Also a lot of background building. My bad yall. This is so long i’m sorry _____________________________________

the very first night

The day you rolled into camp is a day that will go down in infamy.

At least, for Luke it would.

There was no day he would ever remember more clearly.

The sun rose among the clouds beating down upon the plethora of kids and teenagers. He could remember helping some of the younger Demeter and Dionysus kids in the fields with their different crops ranging from strawberries to the beloved camp grapes. Luke wasn’t the biggest fan of grapes himself but he never turned down one from a Dionysus kid.

“Yes, those look perfect Courtney” A grin spread wide across his face as he watched the girl pluck a perfectly ripe strawberry from the plant. If anyone knew how to grow good fruit, it was a Demeter kid.

As he stood up, he brushed his khaki shorts clear of dirt. A flash of a shadow appeared from the corner of his eye. As he turned around, he came eye to eye with a very bewildered face.

“Where am I?” You muttered out. You bent over, placing your hands on your knees. He could tell that you had been running from something terrifying enough to prompt the expression.

“Camp Half-Blood” was all Luke could muster up.

“What?” Oh, this poor girl had no idea how her life was about to change.

“Are you okay?” Luke asked, looking you up and down. Your jean shorts were slashed and your right elbow looked like it had been burned.

You looked up after catching your breath, you shook your head. It was a dumb question, because anyone could see you clearly weren’t doing too great. To this day Luke still felt embarrassment from it.

But even with your confusion and aloofness, you followed him to the infirmary and get the cuts and gashes cleaned up.

Your feet dragged along the path, a couple feet behind him. When Luke turned around, your eyes were pointed toward the ground to the mud stained tennis shoes.

He wanted to explain Camp Half-Blood and every single thing that came with it, the good and the bad. Although now definitely wasn’t the best time. He was afraid you would burst into tears or worse, start hitting him. Luke learned that some of the campers react in that manor, the hard way. Thoughts rattled his brain trying to figure out the best decision.

“Why are you staring at me? Never seen a girl been chased by a big ass bear before?” you snipped at him. At least she wasn’t crying, he thought.

“Uh, actually I have” Luke smiled at you, hoping you would appreciate the sentiment.

You did not. A scowl festered on your face. Maybe from all this anger you’d end up being an Ares kid.

This thought process would prove him to be correct.

Entering the infirmary, he guided you over to a room with several beds. Collapsing on one of them, you shoved your shoes off. You brought your knees to your chest, staring at the ceiling. It was difficult to comprehend the sudden and profound change in your life. Luke knew the feeling all too well.

Luke sat down in the chair across from you. He watched you, almost with care. You seemed to notice though because you immediately sat up.

“Is someone going to explain what’s going on here?” He noticed the sudden quietness in your voice.

Taking a deep breath Luke started the same speech he gave every new camper, with some exceptions. He left out minor details usually directed toward young campers. You clearly weren’t young, at least 16 or 17. Pretty old for a new camper but hey, Luke didn’t discriminate. A part of him didn’t want to scare you away with all of the knew information, leading to little white lies.

“I’ll give you a tour tomorrow morning of camp but I think you should just rest up for now” Luke stood up, walking toward the door. As much as he wanted to stay, he knew the Apollo kids had to do their job.

“Oh by the way” He turned around to face you, “I’m Luke.”

You gave him a curt nod before shutting the door in his face. __________________________________________

a place in this world

It took a couple of months but it finally seemed like you were settling in. Even though your mom had told you about the Gods and Goddesses and how your father was a God, you didn’t have the heart to believe her. That was, until a hairy brown creature was chasing after you.

For the first time in weeks you noticed you didn’t wake up with a heavy heart, missing home.

Someone else noticed it too.

Luke, very slowly, had built up your trust. He really was a good guy, even though he annoyed the piss out of you at first. Countless lonely nights in the Hermes cabin had been made better by him. He would listen to you complain about everything and cry over missing your mom.

That was until an intense game of flag football concluded in being claimed.

After Chris had thrown the ball to some poor Athena kid, you chased after him. Yanking the strap around his waist so hard it sent him flying into the ground. When the ball launched up in the air, you had caught it, sprinting so hard you thought you were going to throw up. In the end, it didn’t end up counting as a point for your team, to your disappointment. Although when a red holographic boar appeared over your head, peace finally seemed to settle in your heart.

The Athena kid did end up in the infirmary after the game but in your defense no one had explained the rules of flag football to you.

On the other hand being claimed meant moving out of the Hermes cabin. In some ways, this was an upside. No more blue dye in your shampoo or whip cream on your face. You wouldn’t feel like you wanted to drown the Stoll brother.

The one who was affected by your claiming the most though was no other than Luke. So many warm nights of your body heat radiating off of his own were no longer. He couldn’t reach out to you in the dark anymore. Now it’s for the better, he thought.

Even with these bubbling feelings, he couldn’t force himself to come to terms with them. They would sit in the back of his throat, burning and itching. But maybe the pain was worth it.

That night he helped you pack your things up to move in with your newfound siblings.

“I wonder why it took so long to get claimed” You wondered out loud, shoving your childhood teddy bear into your backpack.

“The Gods do everything on their own time” Luke’s face fell into a solemn stare. You knew it was a touchy subject for him, specifically his own father. Ares may not have been the best shoulder to lean on but in his own ways he still managed to beat out Hermes by a mile.

Doing your best to shake his mind from it you said, “Did you see Bryce though? I really didn’t mean to yank him so hard” You smiled at Luke and in return you were granted the smallest laugh.

The next morning, you were itching to hang out with your friends (and distance yourself a tad from your brand new siblings). It was a group Luke got along with, but didn’t care much for. Gods knows why. Of course, however, your new found sister Clarisse remained a part of the friend group and Luke never really liked her. She was soft with you and some of your other siblings but rarely anyone else.

The rocky path crumbled under your shoes as you made your way to dinner. You swung your water bottle around your hands before spotting a warm and familiar face.

“Hey Poppy” a smile broached your face. You linked arms with the daughter of Athena. Even though you loved your friendship with Luke, Poppy was your number one. She had only been here for a month before your arrival, causing a very tight knitted bond between the two of you.

“How was the first night in the Ares cabin?” Sharing a look, you both knew the answer. You shrugged. There wasn’t much to share. Your brothers and sisters didn’t seem to hold their rage as well as you thought they might. Arguments ended in screaming matches. Or a dagger being thrown.

“Listen, I’m hot-headed but they really take it to the next level” You both giggled.

Right before you stepped up to the pavilion, Poppy unhooked your arms, turning to face you. “Are you sitting with us today or,” she paused and in air quotes she said “Lukie Pookie?”

Ah yes, the nickname everyone around camp designated upon him. You knew Poppy meant no harm by it but even just by the mention of him, it felt like a pillow smashed your stomach.

Brushing it off you quickly looked around for him, “I was planning on sitting with you guys and I don’t even think he’s here yet.”

Poppy raised an eyebrow and pointed to the curly haired boy across the pavilion. Shrugging once more, you grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the opposite side of the benches.

Your friends, a cluster of kids from different cabin, were gathered in their usual spot. Before you could even sit down, someone called out your name. Whipping around, it seemed as if the curly haired boy teleported.

“Speak of the devil” Poppy muttered. You lightly smacked her shoulder.

“Hey” A soft smile graced Luke’s lips, “Mind if I sit?”

Interesting.

His eyes lingered in yours for a moment before you shook yourself out of it.

“Of course!” You patted the spot next to you. You mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to the group, just incase.

A flash of hesitation crossed his eyes but he plopped down anyway.

“Mhm! I’ve been meaning to ask you Luke” your friend Ben started “I was wondering if you could help me with my swordsmanship?”

Luke nodded quickly before turning to face you. It was the signal that he wasn’t interested in the conversation. Although you knew Ben would pry about it later as Ben was also a child of Hermes.

But he didn’t see things in the way you did. Instead Luke focused on how your hair fell in front of your eyes. It took everything he had in him to not move it. Others around him could talk and talk and talk but he was only ever focused on you. Over and over again he chose you. But what were best friends for, right? __________________________________________

snow on the beach

The sound of footsteps against a shallow pier never particularly bothered Luke. That was if they weren’t disturbing his peace.

The humming of the trees blowing in the wind, soothed his mind over. His eyes followed the way the fish swam with air bubbles peeking over the surface.

Watching the water helped slow everything down. His particularly dense relationship with his father was starting to wear down on him. Luke knew how even the scar on his face didn’t do his hatred justice.

Too clouded by his thoughts, he didn’t notice a familiar giggle breezing behind him.

You placed your fingers over Luke’s eyes and he immediately reached up to touch your hands.

He turned around and peered up, meeting your gaze. Luke’s breathe slowed when he met your eyes. There was a mutual sense of warmth between the two of you. Shared between little moments of laughter and light. And just by looking up at you, he knew he was in a little too deep.

Luke could, of course, fess up. But even the thought of that made him want to hurl his cookies. It’s not like he wanted these feelings and trust, he’s tried to get rid of them. They were more painful than awkward. The flutter in his stomach when you stood just a little to close to him. The way he caught his breath anytime you looked up at him and smiled. Or the shakiness in his throat and on his tongue whenever you quipped a snarky comment.

He quickly stood up reveling how he towered over you so easily.

His eyes glanced down to your hands which had been pulling something out of your jean pocket. A small string bracelet was cupped between your hands.

He snatched it from you, looking it over. It was covered in red and blue zig zags. His favorite colors.

“Hey” you whined, “I worked hard on that.”

A grin broke out on his face, “Is it for me?”

You frowned, “Well it was supposed to be but since you don’t seem to have much patience, I’ll be taking it right back!”

Before you could seize the gift back, Luke’s arm shot up in the air, holding the bracelet overhead. It was a trick he pulled on you plenty of times. Of course it did nothing but annoy you yet that was the fun of it.

Many could not dupe a child of Hermes. Even so, if there is one thing you inherited from your father it was the fight response in oppose to flight.

Your hands wrapped around the front of Luke’s orange t shirt, bunching it into a fist. Swiftly you yanked him back just enough before you efficiently shoved him backwards.

In the blink of an eye, he performed a large flop into the lake. Although the water that had skyrocketed upwards, dunked you clean with water. Worth it.

Now soaking wet, his mane of dark curly hair, bobbed up and down in the water.

“Not cool” He sputtered out. He pulled his upper body on the dock, holding his hand out for you to grab.

You sighed, knowing what was about to happen. In order to escape future prank endeavors, you had to let him do it.

Before you knew it, you were handing over your right to dry clothes.

Head hitting the water first, you tumbled off the deck. Your entire body, including the dry clothes, plunged into the inhospitable water. How on earth could fish swim in water this cold?

As soon as you breached the water, Luke shoved your head down. Well played.

“Was that necessary?” you groaned, water stuck in your ears and nose. Luckily it was pretty shallow otherwise you would have been way more upset.

“I have bad news” Luke paused, running a hand through his hair, “I think I lost your bracelet” He hesitantly waited for the backlash he was about to receive.

As soon as your mouth started to curl into a frown he knew it was over.

You dove headfirst into Luke. He tumbled back and you pushed him so far under he hit the sand. Although it wasn’t that deep, he managed to grab onto you, pulling you underwater with him.

Your laugh threw bubbles all around. His brown eyes shot open. For a minute he seemed like he was searching yours for something.

In just a couple of moments, it felt like the world stopped moving. You could feel the air in your lungs start to sting. Maybe it was time to resurface.

You mentally clocked all of the seconds you could spend underwater without passing out.

But when Luke smiled, all of your thoughts went muddy. He grabbed your hand, pulling you up.

You gasped for air, feeling the sharpness. It quickened when you realized Luke’s shirt cling to his body.

Look away look away look away look away.

A hint of rose rushed to your cheeks. You cursed yourself for thinking anything different.

After you two had burned every ounce of energy you had, you found yourself laying on the deck, eyes closed.

You could hear Luke breathe as his chest fell up and down.

The sun started to set in the distance, and the buzz of grasshoppers with Luke laying next to you is all you needed.

It’s all you ever wanted.

Almost as if he read your mind, Luke mumbled “I could lay here for hours.”

You hummed in response, simply glad he appreciated the sentiment as much as you did.

Something tickled your cheek with its moisture. You opened your eyes to find small snowflakes falling from the clouds. Snow, specifically snow at Camp Half Blood was rare.

It was weird, but it was fucking beautiful.

It crossed your mind that maybe it was Zeus’s doing, a little reward. You were reminded that even though the Gods had failed you time after time, there were small moments where none of it seemed to matter.

Like laying next to the boy who pulled at your heart strings when snow fell.

You glanced at Luke and caught a glimpse of his smile. The way his lips tugged at each other, you knew he felt the exact same way. It was provoking the way you both knew the ins and outs of one another.

In the back of your mind, you knew the snow wouldn’t last long as it was the start of summer. But oh how you enjoyed it so.

As some would say, nothing lasts forever.

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Authors note: I definitely meant to put this out sooner however I have been booked and busy! Now that it’s summer, I should definitely have more time to write because I love writing this stuff. Lemme know if you guys want more pieces in time of Luke and reader! Also if you have any requests or recommendations send them in!!!!

-Bee