#sorry nothing comes to mind
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Do you have a book that is full of the storylines/details you usually hate? But still think it's fascinating for that reason? An out of your comfort zone gem perhaps.
I don't know. I get mad at poorly done tropes because they happen too badly too much, but I don't actually hate any trope if it is done well. I recently railed against amnesia stories but I loved The Bourne Identity trilogy (books and movies). I'm a pretty wide reader/watcher of things, my usual reads are classics, fantasy, and historical fiction but I've enjoyed thrillers and popular fiction and whatever. The only thing I really avoid is horror because I don't like being scared.
I am fascinated by new takes on a tired trope or doing a trope really well. I think I just like good writing. I will even enjoy a soap opera if it really leans into being melodramatic. And I'll accept a premise if I'm meant to by the story, a writer tells me someone has total amnesia (impossible) I'll stay with them if the story is compelling. I'll just get mad about the neurological impossibility later.
I'm far more of a lover than a hater, but I think my ranty posts get more traction...
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many people are afraid to be real lovers. dan and phil are not
#trying to decide whether I should elaborate or not#yes they’re friends soulmates turtles ranch everlasting pieces of furniture#but they are also lovers#they love each other#and that is real and it is beautiful how they’ve come to accept that they can unashamedly and openly love each other#it’s like when people say we don’t think of their content as couples content#bc they call themselves a couple of besties for the beautiful thing called the bit#but. they are a couple fr#if you asked me years ago I would think it’s so cringe to spend all your time with one person and be attached at the hip with them#but love can be so beautiful. i desire love and companionship#there’s nothing wrong with that and dnp have shown me how safe and comfortable and loving a relationship can be#not to be parasocial but sometimes I spiral thinking about the fact that I’m a normal person and will never be one half of a duo#living out their fun rich silly happy dream lives together after 15 years together#but like I’m a normal person. that will never happen#and that’s okay because love exists in other forms#this world is full of beautiful love stories#theirs just happens to be one that has been at the forefront of my mind for a decade#sorry for being weird!#yapping in the tags#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my thots
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How's that possible? Since when did you start eating spicy food? I told you I'd do it for real next time. ...Don't touch me, or—I'll kill you!
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspicy#userrain#userspring#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#chen yi is really sitting there the whole time with only one thought in his mind and it is: i am gonna kiss this man. and then he does!!#okay but heres where i gotta get analytical about it bc ppl will say blah blah theyre so good at miscommunication and im sorry but NO#THEY ARE THE OPPOSITE. when ai di runs away at the end of ep10 after chen yi says he's figured it out and next time he'll do it for real-#chen yi does not seek ai di out Once after that nor does he try to force him into any admissions. HONESTLY HE DOESNT SINCE THE EP10 BAR#he LETS AI DI COME TO HIM EVERY. TIME. he lies a little to keep ai di from running but he doesnt ever actually force ai di to return to him#any time AFTER he CONFIRMS ai di has real feelings for him-which he does during the bar scene. there was no miscommunication there#it was only listening and observing. and chen yi doesnt push farther than offering gifts or that little lie because he wants ai di -#All of ai di. the truest parts of ai di.... he wants the REAL AI DI the one he knows and loves - to come to him of his own volition#in Whatever Form That May Be. because he loves him!! & in this case the form is in torture and accusations bc chen yi's lie has been caught#but chen yi is nothing less than DELIGHTED. bc AI DI STILL CAME. its further proof of ai di's feelings for him and chen yi loves it#& now it's chen yi's turn to show ai di all the ways in which he loves and belongs to him. its time to play his hand after waiting so long
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#kerry eurodyne#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077#i hate artblocks#i spent all the past week trying to come up with something and nothing worked#absolutely nothing#so i decided to play around with procreate brushes and do some ker's sketches#glad i finally did something so i at least can look at it with my own eyes#don't mind my whining 😂 sorry
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I keep thinking about Lewis' review of The Hobbit, because he claimed that the main thing contemporary reviewers compared it to was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Was fantasy in that poor of a state that Alice was the closest thing they could think of? Comparing that chaotic fever dream to Tolkien's intricately crafted world? Lewis does specify that the comparison is that both books are by an "Oxford professor at play", but they're otherwise so different that putting the two in the same category baffles me.
#books#tolkien#the hobbit#c.s. lewis#alice's adventures in wonderland#(i just reread alice because the nicely-formatted bookbinding pdf made a nice ebook)#(thought i'd give it another chance after seeing how foundational it is (mentioned in so many other works))#i think there's an unbridgable cultural gap somewhere#i can't fathom how anyone can read this and become invested in wonderland as a world#it's so random and so chaotic and everyone's a pun and no one's a character#and yet somehow there are books upon books upon books that try to turn it into a dark fantasy world#it doesn't make sense! it's a world that's not supposed to make sense!#and yet they try to treat the government as legitimate and the queen as a real threat etc.#okay sorry for the digression#but my point is that it's odd that there was nothing else in that seventy-ish year gap for them to compare it to#the only thing coming to mind is peter pan#i suppose george macdonald and e nesbit both had their own brands of popular children's fantasy#maybe the real shocking thing about that comparison#is that i'm so used to seeing it compared to narnia that putting the hobbit in a category with any earlier fantasy work seems weird
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So do you guys think Morrigan didn’t have a reason for doing the ritual besides trying to save you or??????????????
#sorry I know nothing comes of it in inq but it’s because she straight up changed her mind. she tells you this#I need to let this go this idea is just baffling to me. you know she didn’t do it to save us right. obvi that’s a benefit if we’re friends#with her but that’s not the REASON
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I'm not completely opposed to making Pharma a weird guy in general pre-Messatine, the main issue I have with it is that a lot of that type of fandom is less "what if he was just a weird little guy" and more seems to be written with the implication that Pharma went crazy because he was just always a little crazy (or a little evil, or a little heartless, etc). Basically, to me it downplays the fact that Pharma underwent massive trauma for two years straight that other characters barely survived for a few hours/days and instead frames Pharma snapping as some sort of... I don't know, genetic/fated downfall because he was just weird, he was always off, is it really any wonder Pharma ended up Like That because I mean there was always something a little weird about him.
It just seems to accidentally imply that Pharma snapping under the pressure of years of torture was some sort of moral failing or sign of him being weak/immoral. You know, Pharma was always kind of a little creepy/insane/evil deep down which is obviously why he killed people. If he were just a normal, not-weird, good person then he would've been mentally strong enough to Not Go Insane. Like uhhhh it just seems kind of fucked up to imply that the reason some people are unable to cope with long-term trauma and have violent/unhealthy coping behaviors is because there's just something innately wrong with them, and then try and look back on their whole life trying to contextualize how they were actually unstable and evil all along instead of just accepting that like. Normal people (tm), yes normal and good people, can be put in situations where they're slowly turned into broken monsters because they had no escape and no good choices.
And also it's equally fucked up to imply that like. Whether or not you can deal with psychological torture without snapping is some sort of function of how innately moral or mentally strong you are. Incredibly victim-blamey to basically go "well the reason Pharma went insane is because he was just always cracked in the head, unlike our good buddy-pal-friend-hero Ratchet who's the perfect doctor and a good Autobot who's never done anything wrong which is why when he's an asshole/hurts people he's not nearly as destructive or Weird About It."
It's not that "Pharma was always kind of crazy" can't be done, because anything can be written well with enough thought. But I think in terms of writing, it's a very difficult and nuanced line to balance and most people literally just can't do it without implying that trauma victims/mentally ill people are evil or something. And Pharma is already unfairly villainized enough as-is, and in canon his trauma was already downplayed in favor of "haha crazy doctor chainsaw go brrr look how weird and quirky and craaaazyyy he is." So it's one of those things where 1. Most people just aren't good enough to write it and 2. "Always a little crazy" Pharma is already oversaturated enough in the fandom anyways and it's enough of a battle to get people to recognize that he's a tragic character and not just an evil asshole.
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i think this one is especially rambly sorry but it's been on my mind#but like. i just think about it a lot about how like#how well ppl cope with stress/difficulty/trauma without disturbing others or falling apart is often conflated with strength if not goodness#like. it's already a thing mentally ill ppl have to deal with all the time whether it's jsut depression/anxiety#and getting told to suck it up or get tougher or stop inconveniencing others#to ppl with the 'scary'/villainized disorders like idk bipolar or borderline#who are literally seen as inherently dangerous just for existing#so when ppl engage with the idea of 'pharma was always a little Off' it just feels like they're taking his trauma reaction#and going 'oh clearly a Normal Guy and Good Autobot wouldnt do this. he had to have already had something wrong with him'#and so pharma understandably going insane after 2 years spent being blackmailed by the DJD (famous for psychological and physical torture)#is taken from a tragic horror story with tons of factual evidence as to why pharma was trapped and couldn't get out#to basically just 'lmao pharma was always a little kuh razy also he's a psycho ex stalker who's a loser in love with ratchet'#so like what the fuck man you're saying that the reason pharma broke under more psychological pressure than any other victim of the DJD#is bc he was just. what. too weak? his mind was too fragile? he just didn't have strong enough morals?#like god do we really need to be spreading the idea that anyone who snaps due to trauma is just innately weak/evil/weird/creepy#bc i have news for you friends no amount of integrity or innate goodness stops you from breaking when you hit your limit#the no. of ppl who can get through a situtation as horrible as that while doing nothing morally wrong and coming out perfectly sane is 0#if your standard for morality is 'not snapping under horrific pressure' then most ppl don't pass that standard like#i'm sorry but pharma not being able to cope with someone NO ONE ELSE IN THE SERIES WAS ABLE TO COPE WITH#does not retroactively make him evil bc he then proceeded to make horrible decisions in a situation where he was psychologically compromise#stop trying to retroactively characterize (contradictory to canon might i add) pharma as always being Not Good as an explanation#newsflash buddy lots of good people collapse under pressure and lash out and it's not a sign of their innate evil if the way they collapse#is messy and scary and Unfun and inconvenient and they're the only one who snapped unlike their Actually Good People friends
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sometimes in the fandom you see some art that is SO beautifully made but goes SO against the grain of how you perceive the drawn character(s) like I want to reblog it so much because it's so visually gorgeous and the artist is amazing and deserves to know this but I'll fucking die before letting that particular interpretation of the character(s) anywhere near my blog
#personal#don't take it as vagueposting#it's about A LOT of art I've seen over the years and I just got reminded of some of it#fandoms in general tend to take the characterization of nuanced characters in certain very specific direction#that irritates me to an absolutely unreasonable degree#and I don't want to rain on anyone's parades#it's fandom and it's for fun there is no way to enjoy your fictional guys wrong#so I mostly keep silent about it#but given sufficient time pretty much every fandom drifts into the state where I can't engage with it#without seeing red like three posts into the tag#even the art tag#and I feel so weird sitting there with my different perception#pretty isolated#which is self-imposed and not exactly bad but still weird#luckily I have some close friends that I can still have in-depth discussions abt the media and characters with#but online fandoming eventually gets blood-boiling rather than fulfilling#which is especially idk weird?#given that I'm mostly drawing fandom stuff#and I kinda SHOULD be interacting with the fandom#and I'd love to have talks of those fictional guys#they are great guys and I love to talk about them#but then I poke my nose into the fandom and my blood gets boiling#it's weird being a fandom artist outside of the fandom is what I'm saying xD#especially once you get used to the boost of motivation and productivity that comes from being in the fandom#and I kinda miss that but also well nothing to be done about that#don't mind me and sorry for the rant
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True question: if Lavi and Allen do turn out to be canon (I aknowledge that, even though we have a LOT going on with the manga rn, nothing has been confirmed in an explicit way), would that imply Allen is the first gay/queer protagonist of a shounen manga? Or has there already been a precedent? And I do mean Shounen, series that come from BL or Shoujo, Seinen or Josei magazines not included, because a lot of those did have openly gay protagonists already.
Has there ever been a gay shounen protagonist in the past??
#dgm#sorry if that sounds presomptuous but nothing comes to mind within actual shounen manga zines#laven#d gray man#d.gray-man
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winston my quant of billions
#''😒''#corned beef#winston billions#& green of all things; drew it in purpley pink & being like whoa hey is this too much deliberately breaking out this Rare Coloring#minty fresh....been funny to be rotating the villainy of; let's say; bsol & xmas & then thinking about billions' whole other world there#& its completely different take where of all things winston is like. treated as a villain in a way its sicko My God central men aren't#(who are also quite different from iconis villains but yknow with the very fundamental differences in general what else is a surprise)#axe? prince? alive & well & billions does mean to be commenting on that like yeah sure#but winston? gotta be humiliated & violated & attacked / killed (if figuratively + just by assumption Oh He's Fiiine)#as well as basically truly dead to everyone but in a Never Existed / Spontaneously Shunned way. nobody thinks about him ever again#including when non wretched central men characters are getting these silver linings Benefits from their sabotaging a central man#not winston though maybe; the writing has forgotten him / sees no worth in bringing him up unless At His Expense; not gain#didn't get background randos telling prince or the like to go fuck himself at any point. open contempt reserved for winston there#better to have Objective Entitlement to power over / access to people & then; hey what the; be an asshole about it???#than to not just Have that entitlement & not expect it & not try to use it & be friendly & minding your own business as much or more than#any other characters like good lord what a Loser. the queerness & disability of this inferiority? just some jokes (at winston's expense)#& we will be killing him like nobody even considers for central men takedowns. those are polite & we all have Some regret it came to this#better to abuse people than. be so unepic (different from Normal white cishet 50some men who love certain media)#& on that note you're never gonna guess what's Good to do to the unepic people who bring it upon themselves....yeah haha. abuse#you're never gonna guess but power difference is a given & also good if an epic person has that power. & on that note#what can they do with it but keep unepic people in their place? what other hope do we have? winston may try to say a pun. or speak at all :#anyway while there's the absolute joys of Any Good Bastard over in a wildly different oeuvre it's like well yknow#while winston is already Ruining Things as more a Wretched Sicko Evil Asshole for seeing himself as a person & others as people#instead of himself as an inferior who has to apologize for existing & initiating any interaction vs only ever doing as he's told#unlike the best heroes who know they're superior & will use others & mess with their lives however they feel is justified; you're welcome#like well if winston's such an exceptional dick(tm) around here that he has to be introduced w/discussion / explanation around this#great let him be even bitchier & more ''difficult''....& billions would never & that's why [sorry to all the characters trapped in there]#the slightest glimpses of like & The Quasirival Weirdo Duos Are Kinda Being Cunts b/w usual parallels riawin & taylip#what comes of that? oh nothing. but as ever these are at least glimpses of a little more liveliness & range for making room for this a sec#anyway imagine getting so niche that your other kinda just as niche thing is like. less niche. but not really. wheee yayyy fr lol My Whimsy
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secret life smp lizzie designs!!!!
i saw lizzie’s final episodes and immediately lost my mind
she’s living a sad little fairytale and there is significance and tragedy in everything that happens to her !!
sorry everyone else but lizzie is the main character. secret life ended when she died. i don’t make the rules.
pumpkin head, yellow and red life versions below v
(sorry i ended up writing a LOT in the tags whoops)
#please help me choose the best design!!!#i hate costume design but she deserves a cute little dress#she’s a sad little pumpkin princess of nothing in her little pink forest with her dead cows and horse and only one friend#a friend who indirectly caused her last death i’m losing my mind. guys she died in the end. come on.#her bit with cleo in the end felt like a symbolic dream. sorry the end is now lizzie’s dream and cleo is her mystical guide who live there#her being INVISIBLE and then people only showing up after she died#not to be dramatic but uh. there was never any true malice to her actions. only sorrow and loneliness from a world that hardly cared.#the thing with this is that it’s not really true#it’s only there if you look for it#lizzie ldshadowlady#ldshadowlady#secret life#secret life smp#trafficblr#traffic life smp#traffic smp#mcyt#mcyt fanart#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#character design
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i'm going to be kind of inactive this weekend :') my job has 1001 ways to murder me and all of them are working
#💭 — chu’s ramblings#sorry for the overdue unanswered asks—i'm drained and overwhelmed with a lot right now#i might still pop up here and there to ramble but i don't think i can answer long idea asks/suggestions right now :')#i'm still writing but it's sylus fic SJJSJS so sorry#i really want to write jjk but suddenly nothing comes to mind :'D
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I seriously can't stop thinking about it.
#The layers upon layers man#Spoilers from now on sorry#The fact that starts and ends with the killing of two queer guys by the law (thank you Tumblr user @thomaskong I'm kms)#The fact that there were no villains nor heroes#Is Mo a victim? Is it Thongkam? Is it Saeng? Is it Sek? Is all of them?#Does being a victim of awful systems erases the guilt of their individual actions? At what point does their anger stop being justified?#It's greed what drives the characters? It's love? It's hate? It's ego? It's the hope for a better future and a desire to reclaim what one's#Owned. But what is that? Things born out of lies lay death at the end. No one keeps the house. No one keeps the farm#Jingna wish was fulfilled. They stopped fighting. Jingna wish was impossible.#If at any point they would've simply stopped and offered each other compassion none of this would've happened.#But even when they do the laws and systems that hold them down are there#An old disabled woman who's murder no one will investigate because she's not rich. A poor woman that has almost no options left because#She didn't complete school (no papers no formal education no way to gain money beyond what she was left with). A gay guy who lost everything#He put his work into. Everything was taken out of his hands again and again because he had no legal power over any of it#The scene where he's so desperate he screams at the doctor they just had sex willing to show everyone just to let him keep Sek alive#The scene at the end whefe both lost their minds and any reason leaves them. Hate taking over. An innocent guy dead#He was going to rape her and she was going to kill him. And they stopped but there was never a coming back from any of that#What's your relationship with the family? He was their everything. He meant nothing to them. Nothing at all#Sek is. So complex yet so simple. We only get to know him through the small moments our protagonists remember#Yet he's the cataclysm and the conclusion. Everything goes back to him and yet he had to die for the story to start#The visuals. The metaphors. How a fruit can have so much value. Something so small yet so meaningful. Full of Thorns#Hiding the sweetness and humanity. I'm going to kill myself#Properly watching#Properly watching The Paradise of Thorns with Benka#the paradise of thorns#Paradise of Thorns#I have to Make A Post
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oh to be the person Umemiya Hajime meets and falls for as he’s traveling after graduation
#mari says#meeting this guy who’s also traveling alone but he’d got too many green flags for you to stay away altogether#and he just naturally gets along with most people so he helps you when you’re having trouble with reservations for your hotel#gives you his number in case you get lost#ive been thinking about it#would he be the type to somehow end up with a dog as he’s traveling? I think so#comes back to makochi with a partner and a dog like nothing#can u imagine you meet a guy and go visit his hometown and literally EVERYONE knows him?#he’s just so casual abt it too like thats normal#its been on my mind OH I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW BUT IHAVE LIKE 5 UMEMIYA WIPS THAT I SHOULDNT EVEN BE WRITING#EM YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT?!?#THE SONG EYES ON YOU I MADE YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER DAY#I CAN WORK WITH THAT#SORRY IM EXCITED#gotta be cool ok#maybe its rox’s fault for writing such a good ume thing#made me fall in love all over again grrr
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Please share the Preston Garvey thoughts! 🙏
i wish they were more coherent but at heart i just love 'Character Who Knows The World Is Terrible And Tries To Do Good Anyway' & i think preston is the perfect example of that!! something about meeting him in concord and not knowing how close to the edge he is just makes me lose my mind. he truly believes he's failed everyone he's ever tried to protect but he puts a brave face on for these last four people because they don't need to see that, they need him to at least pretend there's a way out - and then there is, because the sole survivor arrives and it's enough of a foothold to keep going a little longer!! and then he builds the minutemen back up into something worth fighting for and being part of (and i do give him credit for that - yeah sometimes the quest-giving got annoying but literally what can he do. another settlement genuinely needs our help) and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 thinking about him as the sole surviving member of the minutemen meeting The Sole Survivor is very 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and THEN there's the MAIN PLOT of FALLOUT FOUR coming to be SUPER ANNOYING -
#my big thing about f4 is like. i've played MANYYYY hours of it. i got into the settlement building in my last save and had fun#but the plot is like. no part of that. i'm gathering the companions and taking them away. all of them but ESPECIALLY preston#i think every npc in this game should have a little bit of a crush on him. that little interaction where people give him supplies is SO!!!#answering asks#sorry i know these are like. all over the place. but i love him so much#this game is just... it could have been so good... we're like 80% of the way there but all the main stuff is NOTHING to me#there's something interesting with some of the companions and their relationship to power - hancock and deacon come to mind - and i think#preston making you the general immediately and working as hard as he can in what must feel like a doomed effort to rebuild#is very noble. to me.
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absolutely hate when i can't think of where a quote or saying comes from but i know it absolutely comes from some piece of media i've consumed in the past and i agonize over trying to trace it back to the source and then give it up, and then i'm watching a piece of media and bam i found the root of the phrase and it's like. thor ragnarok. or something.
#kit to kit#two examples immediately come to mind one is thor ragnarok#ive been literally agonizing for maybe a year (when i remember to agonize)#over where the phrase 'im sorry you had to hear that. but you DID have to hear it.' came from#and i was like mean girls??#high school drama???#googling the words came up with nothing#and then i rewatched fleabag and olivia coleman says that to fleabag#and i was like yoooooo for teh longest time#and then also#the phrase 'i thought the world of you' with voice softer slash almost breaking in the middle#couldnt remember where it was from#fucking thor ragnarok#it bugs me especially cause im usually so good at connecting quotes to media ive consumed#like so good#but those two quotes slipped my mind everytime#and ive recently found out both of them#and it's like both a brain itch finally scratched#and an anvil to the skull
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