#sorry not rereading this so this text is going to be like that
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this is gonna make me sob into my pillow but #2 angst thingy with pedri š£š£š£š£š£š£š£š£
Peace ā Pedri GonzĆ”lez.
Pairing: Pedri GonzƔlez x Fem!Reader
Summary: Breaking up after a a three year long relationship had hurt you tremendously, but when Pedri had texted you that he got injured and wanted you to come to the hospitalā¦ well you couldnāt say no.
Word count: 1.47k+
Disclaimer/s: Based off the prompt āHold me, please?ā , angst to comfort / fluff.
A/N: hi im on an angst kick donāt expect much happiness coming out of beaās blog.
You reread and reread Pedriās text. Over and over and.. you get the gist. You couldnāt help the pity that built in your heart, but you also couldnāt help the anger that arose along with it.
It had only been a week, for Godās sake. Youād broken up a week ago and the wound was still fresh. Angry thoughts clouded your mind the whole drive to the hospital, all the way up the elevator, to the door, but the second it opened and your eyes landed on the man you had folded.
Every rage filled feeling disappeared, replaced by the overwhelming urge to comfort him. You hold back, cautiously poking your head through the door. āUh, can I come in?ā
At one side of the bed was Pedriās mother, only furthering to the awkwardness of it all. Seeing your ex and his mother a week after youād broken up was not something you imagined happening, yet, here you were.
MarĆa stood, her eyes darting between her son and the woman sheād grown to adore so dearly. She had to fight the smirk threatening her lips when she saw the tension in her sonās shoulders depleting.
āIām going to the cafeteria to find your father.ā She says, patting Pedriās head, āitās nice to see you again.ā She offers you a kind smile before rushing out of the room.
āYou too..ā You begin, but she was already long gone. Left alone in the depressing hospital room, you find your gaze drifting to his leg. āJesus..ā You mumble.
Pedri doesnāt say anything, simply letting out a quiet hum of acknowledgment. He watches you carefully as you make your way to the side of his bed.
āI donāt.. I donāt really know what to, uhmāā You were grasping at straws for something to say. Nothing came to mind, causing a flush to spread across your cheeks along with a nervous laugh.
The tan man couldnāt help the way his eyes softened and the small, barely noticeable smile of his lips. Heād missed you. Everything about you, he had missed. The breakup of course, was his fault. He been so stressed with football that heād taken it out on you, saying things he didnāt mean but couldnāt take back.
āYou donāt have to say anything.ā He speaks, wearily. He wanted so badly for you to just look at him, he didnāt blame you for avoiding it, though.
āI feel like I probably should, I mean.. this is..ā You were once again, at a loss for words. āIām so sorry, this sucks.ā Pathetic. That was pathetic.
Pedri was unfortunately, very injury prone. Youād been in this position many times, but this was different. You couldnāt rush to his side, you couldnāt shower him in apologetic kisses, you couldnāt do the things you used to. And those were the only ways you knew how to comfort him.
Your legs brushed against the hospital bedsheets, when you remember. āOh! Shit, I almost forgot, I set them down outside the door because I wasnāt sure if they would be appropriate right now.. Wait, Iāll be right back.ā And just like that, you were gone, leaving Pedri completely and utterly confused.
When you returned, you had a blanket and, what youād called the ādesignated hospital hoodieā in your hands. He recognized them instantly. Your favorite hoodie of his, and the blanket youād used specifically on the nights heād stay over and the two of you would fall asleep on the couch.
āI figured it would get cold in here, it always does.ā You gingerly hand him the items, freezing when his fingers brushed against yours.
Pedri froze as well, his eyes snapping up to you. āSorry, uhm, thank you. Seriously.ā
āItās no problem.ā You cough, āso! How are you? How bad is it?ā
Shaking his head with a tired sigh, Pedri winced as he scoots over on the bed, his jaw clenching as he does. āJoder. [fuck] ā He hisses in Spanish, taking a second to speak again, āyou can.. sit down yāknow?ā
Hesitantly sitting onto the uncomfortable mattress, your eyebrows furrow, āyou shouldnāt be moving so much.ā You scold, easily slipping back into your old concerned girlfriend mode. āHow many times do I have to remind you there are plenty of chairs I can sit on?ā
āAnd how many times do I have to remind you, that I prefer you closer?ā He rebutted, the both of you pausing when you realize you werenāt allowed to do this back and forth anything.
But, you shrug the feeling off. Despite how things had ended, you loved Pedri. You cared for him. He was hurting, and you were not about to make him hurt any more by opening up the wounds that were still fresh.
āWell, your comfort is a bit more important than your wants.ā You crack a small grin, āhow did surgery go?ā
Pedri huffs through a painful exhale. āI donāt want to talk about medical shit anymore. Iāve had to deal with my families badgering all dayā¦ā He hesitates before continuing, āI know this is overstepping, but could you just.. lay down? You donāt haveāā
āIād lay down if you werenāt hogging all the pillows.ā You tease, āmove your big head.ā Shifting around to a sitting position beside him, you wiggle around till the thin blankets were out from under you and on top of you.
He laughs, the sound sweet and welcoming to your ears. You turn your head to the side, meeting his eyes directly for the first time since you stepped into the room. āThis is only mildly weird.ā
āYeah.ā He agrees, taking the blanket youād brought and spreading it out over the two of you. āAnother boundary crossing questionā¦?ā
āI donāt see why not.ā You swallow, not knowing what was about to come out of your exās mouth.
āHold me?ā He asks with the saddest eyes, āplease?ā
Listen, you were no fool. You knew your actions would have consequences. This simple act was going to either lead to your heart breaking even more, or potentially causing you to go against your morals and allow forgiveness.
You couldnāt get yourself to speak, instead, you lift your arm to wrap around the back of his neck and your hand came up to rest on his head. Pedri automatically relaxes against your shoulder, letting out a long breath of relief.
You stay like that for a while, your fingers threading through his soft hair while the other hand occupied on his cheek, itās fingers rubbing smoothly back and forth along his cheekbone. It had always been the way you calmed him down when he was upset. The familiarity tugged at your heart strings and in that moment you didnāt care how badly this was going to hurt you, you only cared it would make him feel better.
Plus, he always told you how much peace he felt when he was in your arms, and thats all you wanted him to feel in the moment.
āPedri?ā You quietly beckon him to look at you, which he does. His eyes fluttered open and a small hum leaves his lips. āYou know I canāt stay..ā
He tries to hide his disappointment, but you knew him too well. āI understand. Sorry, I shouldnāt have even asked you to come, I know I hurt you.ā
āHurt is one way to put it.ā You quirk an eyebrow, hiding the genuine words behind a teasing grin.
His eyes flicker around your face, noticing every crack in your expression. āI am sorry. I didnāt mean the things I said. I can do better, I will.ā
āThatās not enough. The things you said.. Pedri, I canāt just forget them.ā Exasperated and ready for the conversation to end, you tap his head. āJust lay back down.ā
Pedri shakes his head, āno, we need to talkāI need to talk about this! I donāt want you to forget, just hold me accountable and give me another chance.ā His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. āPlease, cariƱo.ā
That stupid, stupid, stupid pet name. The only one you ever really loved when it left his lips.
āCan we talk about this when youāre not suffering from an injury? Like, what, two months? When your head is clear, and iāve had time to get over what you said.. you call me. Then, we can talk about it.ā You push his head back onto your shoulder and rest yours against his hair.
āOkay. Two months?ā Pedriās hand that had wrapped around your waist, dips under your shirt, rubbing slow circles. āI can do that.ā
Pressing a short kiss to his hair, you hum. āIāll leave when your mom comes back. Donāt text me or contact me till those two months are up, got it?ā
Pedri groaned, ānothing?ā
āNothing.ā
āFine.ā He rolls his eyes.
likes , comments , and reblogās are all appreciated. lmk if youād like to be tagged in any pedri posts.
DTS , @halfwayhearted @sakashq @hrts4havertz @joaoflms @spidybaby @gadriezmannsgirl @unx100to !
#pedri gonzalez#pedri gonzalez x you#pedri gonzalez one shot#pedri gonzalez x reader#pedri gonzalez imagine#pedri imagine#pedri x y/n#pedri x you#blurb#football#angst#pedri gonzalez angst#fc barcelona
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Please tell us more about Russian train trip culture? We're constantly inundated by references to American road trip culture, but I know nothing about this and you got me curious!
I love to talk trains! So thanks for asking. Anyway. So I've got to preface that it's a bit more Soviet than Russian. And I am Muscovite so it comes with certain privileges. Russia/USSR is much more big on trains than on cars and planes. Not a lot of people had cars (though there was a whole other culture around cars). Air travel is more expensive and isn't easily available for a lot of towns/cities even now. (Especially now everything is ..ah interesting). We have two main type of trains. Short-distance electric trains or elektrichka. It's the one you take if you are going to a next town or if you go to your dacha (country house). Well, they are short-distanced FOR RUSSIA, I think they are supposed to be up to 200 km and no more. Elektrichkis are a bit dying everywhere except Moscow - we have integrated train systems into metro system now, and it's really cool, and I like it. There is a whole life happening while you ride. Like this
It can be quite nostalgic, but I still shudder after remembering riding with my granma every Sunday from dacha in a really crowded train where you get in by people shoving you inside and hoping not to suffocate. Fun time. Anyway. Do you know street musicians? Meet train musicians
Also meet every seller in a world with all kind of stuff from children toys to food. Meet one woman with a chicken, crowd of old women with motherfucking trees, African band and this three drunk philosophical guys with vodka bottle and pickles. It's a must. There are much more nice fast electric trains, but they are more rare and not that spectacular. Most famous book about elektrichka is Soviet book Moscow-Petushki about this guy on a journey trying to see I think his son in Petushki town. Spoiler: it doesn't end well. And also we have long-distance trains. Well. Russia is sort of kind of big. So you can spend days in a train just living your life having long chats with your neighbors, so it's strongly features in our movies/books/songs etc. Longest one is obviously Trans-Siberian Railway with it's length of 9000+ km. I don't think that a lot of Russians ever rode it the whole way though. I am not sure, it's a bit of a challenge. You absolutely must pay for a tea in a train because you get this glass with tumbler. It's ultimate train thing. This and chatting with neighbors.
Also there is a whole train food thing. You can buy instant ramen or go to restaurant car or something. But stereotypical train food is fried chicken and couple of hard-boiled eggs. And piroshki bought on a nearest train stop. Why? I am not even sure. It's not like chicken is known for keeping fresh without refrigerator. I was thinking about including train road map, but it's too big, so you get Moscow trains (lines that are governed by Moscow)
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^ ritsu teru shou friendship in a nutshell
HAHFHWFHWH TRUEE REAL. exactly. i appreciate their dynamic as This but i also appreciate the Duality of their dynamic as being one where they can stop feeling the weight of Responsibility around each other due to the way their specific Responsibility complexes are changing/have changed. And also they all cancel each other out anyway. And their extreme Ride or Die attitudes go crazy. Almost Concerningly supportive of each other.
But anyway. when they Hang Out, as they are all overconfident and overly serious in some way, somebody always manages to start a competition that nobody can back down from or wants to lose and it spirals from there I think. but again. they are Unmasking Buddies. They have enough relatability between all of them that they feel no reason to cover many things up or put on a facade. because of the Understanding. Also every time they hang out for a certain amount of time they always delve into those like Deep Introspective conversations, probably. does this make sense.
this is all after a while though. like it would take them some time to overcome some hurdles and reach this dynamic. Teru and Shou only donāt immediately click because of Experiences and Circumstances though.
ALSO i think of your post where its like. They are Good Kids still and they'd stop whatever they were doing to like. help an elderly lady cross the street or something. Still holds true with Teru in the mix. maybe even more.
them..
#The fishing thing is just Shou and Ritsu only though Teru isn't invited im sorry#also i like to throw Tome in the mix. But i cant voice my thoughts properly so that'll have to wait.#ok sorry if this doesn't make sense i was out all day and am Tired and Sleepy.#once again. my opinion could change once i finish rereading the mangaaa and taking my notes.#i did not address the literatures (source material and Specific Opinions) for this one. just going off vibes and wishful thinking#will update yāall if so. I love having opinions#I didnāt even get started on their Actual Issues either#asks#my art#me talking#dgheh#mp100 text
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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.
Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.
I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43ā44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.
Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.
oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.
tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.
and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.
first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.
i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.
bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs āĀ collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)
i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"
this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the caveāā the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.
so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (thatās already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: āheās so full of anger and frustrationā¦ he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.ā bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.
the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: āi wanted to give jason an outlet for his rageā¦wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his lifeā¦ā and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."
the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.
but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.
so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.
that being said, jay is angry sometimesā and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.
we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.
the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next āĀ the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problemāĀ we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.
and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce ā they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much ā the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it āĀ in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.
which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: āiāve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.āĀ to that, bruce contends: āin other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.ā he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.
#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3#anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline#i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it#and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ#āyou spare me *this*?ā <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him#also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights#i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay#<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea#that this is what bruce thinks#i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger#hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3#i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit#outbox#jay.zip#jay.txt#dc#jason todd#core texts
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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this is a test
#iām bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatās actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letās think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iām not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatās a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnāt all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereās probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donāt#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iām actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itās crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyāre all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatās made everything a bit messy. i shouldāve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youāre being annoying i literally donāt care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itās just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donāt really have any thoughts to put here idk if weāre halfway ermmmm omg itās#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itās wild how itās basically almost christmas. like#what. thatās illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnāt crash or#smth cause iāve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iāve saved it and holy jesus itās a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereās really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnāt that be crazy) so wait thereās 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatās 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenāt done maths lessons in two and a half years iāve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OF TONARI CLUB!
I, uh, m-made something f-for you.
Know that I'm totally embarrassing my ass over here, so... Don't laugh loud enough that I can hear you from over here!
Aaaaaand now, per Lyndis tradition, I'm gonna overexplain shits and turn a simple Ask into a whole ass Ramble!
-----------------------------(why is there no "Read More" partition in an Ask? I'm so embarrassed right now goddamn it)-------------------------
If you're short-sighted, try removing your glasses or contact lenses and look at this picture. I just did and it's suddenly even prettier!
I actually planned to draw your Sonicsona at first. And then I realized I deadass couldn't even draw Base Sonic. Then I thought I should draw a mole. I realized I also couldn't draw a mole. I thought I should just go for the easiest shit and draw ToFu. I realized I could not draw either one of them, too.
Because I cannot draw, I cheat! I mean I turn things into shapes (chiefly triangles, though not all of them) and then color them and hope that something shows up. This is me using this scientific /+ philosophical concept called Emergence.
No, I didn't just say THAT to sound like I have a technique of any kind, trust. It's so totally a techniqueāmy very productive ass told me.
I remember you saying your favorite color is something like pink, blue, and stuff? It was from that tag game from last year. Hence, I decided I should create a context so I could draw an obscene amount of pink and blue.
If I'm being honest, it took me less than a millisecond to come up with the exact contextāBreath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom is abundantly blue.
And since I always wanted to sneak ToFu in, I thought I would make a purplish-pink dusk. And then I will sneak those stargazing two in.
Come on. Everyone knows those ToFu panels. Even someone like me, who had not seen that part of the manga yet, knows.
Bless Tonari for being so relaxing to color.
HOWEVER! Fushi's limited-ass color presented a big problem for my cheat-drawing. How many combinations of "white" can you even make before you zoom out and see... nothing?! So I basically sabotaged them. That's what you get for being difficult, you mopey, neck-crick-possessing, fragile-enough-to-be-blown-by-the-wind cutie doofus.
I made up the color of their pants. I didn't even refer to their Nameless Boy drip when I decided on the color. I assed that part.
Yes. I admit I put a shit ton of effort into coloring Zelda. This version of Zelda is my kin, you know. Anyway, I like the way her, uh, shirt turned out.
I also like how the Master Sword turned out, but there was so much blue I ended up requiring outlines to distinguish it from Link's shirt and the sky. Told ya I have no technique or skill. I cheat through and through
I was too lazy to draw those sky islands. Besides, the ToTK side is already saturated with details.
What the fuck issa "proportion?" Everyone's head is an orange. The difference, Nova, is whether it's a Mandarin Orange or an Orange.
I don't know if I overdid Dinraal's draconic mane. It looks like she's wearing a wig. At least she is different from how she initially lookedāa red tapeworm outfitted with chicken legs.
I admit I put more effort than any Past Me would have into Dinraal because a certain mutual is very, ah, particular about dragons.
Drawing two of your favorite ships for their show of devotion was a completely deliberative choice on my end. Did you also realize that both Link and Fushi had a short, small, low ponytail and that both Zelda and Tonari had similar hair? I believe it's due to me hitting my drawing skill limitation.
There is actually an Easter Egg of some sort in this picture. It's not the ugly doodle thing, no. That thing is me. I'm not an Easter Egg; I'm a ghost.
I'm not telling you what that Easter Egg is. I'm fine with it never being discovered; it'd be like those secret levels in old video games.
But if you DID discover it, come tell me what you think it is!
---------------
I hope you like it enough! Instead of it giving you a migraine, that is. Surely my """art"""... doesn't require a trigger warning... right?
Have a good one, mai bruzha!
---Lyn
A RAMBLE FROM YOU LYN IS THE BEST POSSIBLE BRITHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER RECEIVED!!!! COUPLED WITH ART BY YOU????? AND OF MY FAVORITE FELLAS????? What did I deserve to be so blessed ;A; ššš
Iāll spare us all a little extra scrolling on my part by adding that read more you were fretting about, I have my own ramble upcoming!
I KNOW YOURE ON YOURSELF ABOUT NOT BEING ARTISTIC OR WHATEVER BUT THIS IS ART!!! AND DAMN GOOD ART TOO!!!!!!! This is!!!!!!!!!!! I want this made into stained glass I want to make this the permanent window to me bed roOM LYN THIS IS AMAZING THIS IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GOING DOWN AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ART STYLES!!!! Thereās no such thing as cheating in art, itās all art!!! āCheatingā is a style, no technique is a style!!! I should know I have none either, hehe -w-ā your art may be some type of cubism? Hehe idk Iām not an art student :3 Either way this is absolutely gorgeous Iām in LOVE!!!
Itās so creative and well done and I LOVE your eye for detail, the lighting is inspired!!!! Like the way the sun hits the space behind Zelda is so pretty, AND ZELDA IS SO PRETTY!!!!!! EVERYRHING IS SO PRETTY, I CANT FOCUS ON ONE THING BECAUSE I KEEP JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ALL THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT IT (every thing, every last detail!!! Is that a little you in the middle? Is that the Easter egg???? I could just pick you up and pat your little head!!! š I know you donāt love hugs but thatās how Iāll be standing if youāre ever ready for one!!!)
I should slow down maybe and pick a few things to focus on BUT I JUST CANT I LOVE IT ALL!!!! The two scenes just blend so well into one another that my eyes are just naturally being drawn back and forth between both of the scenery! Dinraal, who turned out AMAZIING BY THE WAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERDONE, if anything Iām so glad you had fun working on her!!! Sheās so gorgeous!!!! I bet your friend is so so proud of how well she looks!!! Oh but anyway, Dinraal naturally leads my eyes over to the sun/moon (and the 24, hehe, thank you!!! /)//(\ Your memory is astounding!!), which have their own beautiful rays of light leading down onto the adorable couples š I love love LOVE the moonlight leading down onto Tonari and Fushi, and the fact that sheās pointing at it too like she can almost reach it? Beautiful! Gorgeous!!! And it just leads my eyes down to them too, thereās just such a natural circular flow here, no wonder I keep getting caught in a loop of admiration! š
The blues and the pinks, and the stars on the ToFu side!!! I just noticed them and theyāre everything to me!!!! Hahaha Iām so glad Tonari was relaxing to color hehe, same for me, something about her is just so lovely and calming when sheās relaxed š„° As for Fushiās colors, I didnāt notice! Even after you pointed it out it looks good to me! ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ this is from someone who never references colors though, Iām so loosey goosey about everything -w- BUT YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM WAS GREAT, THEIR SHAPE IS VERY VISIBLE AND EASY TO MAKE OUT hehe :3 I love their crossed little legs š„°
Zelda being your kin is so good to know hehe, Iāve always been drawn to all versions of Link myself! I think weāve been perfectly set up to āplay dollsā with these characters in the future, so to speak! Aaaahh they canāt have been easy to draw, thereās a reason I almost never dabble in drawing those two and their intricate outfits, but you make it look effortless!!! Zeldaās shirt turned out amazing, and Iām stuck looking at her little triangle braids!!!! I donāt know why Iām so fixated on that itās just adorable!!! šš What a lovely technique, man, Iām so enchanted! AND THE MASTER SWORD, I know you called it cheating BUT I LOVE THE LINE WORK, it makes the sword stand out, almost like you lined that specific part with some sort of melted gold??? Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!
This is gorgeous and beautiful in every which way and thank you!!!! For everything!!! For this beautiful drawing and for giving me a chance to ramble and giving me something gorgeous to look at for the rest of my day, and for indulging in both of my silly little ships /)//(\ Iām so glad I donāt need glasses because I love every inch of your art, thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Gosh itās so so so lovely šš youāre so lovely!!!!
I donāt know how to say goodbye so I guess Iāll just say good night for now! Thank you for thinking of meā¦ Iāll have a wonderful day, so long as you promise me youāll have a wonderful night along side me š„°
Goodnight, Mai Bruzha!
- Nova
#Lyn the Zelda Kin (Iāll come up with a better tag some day I PROMISE š haha!!!)#Friend Rambles ššš#long post#IM SO STOKED YOU HAVE NO IDEA AAAHHHHHHHHHH KICKING MY FEET#Iām typing the tags before I actually type the main body heehee Iām gonna jump over the moon!!!!!#and thank you for the letter too Iāve been rereading it! Iāve been getting back into writing letters of my own and wow!!!#the quality of yours are amazing!! I may have to take a note or two on how to craft a good one that one was amazing!! and thank you :ā)#ok editing: this nova back after her ramble in the body text#Iām sorry for how disjointed this all looks! I kind of tackled my response based on where I was looking at at any given time#and I wanted to get my reply back before you hit the sheets for the night!!! still it took me some time but I hope I made it!!!#ahhh Lyn I hope you rest well! Iām going to have an amazing birthday and youāre a contributing factor in that my friend.. Mai Bruzha!!!#I know for a fact Iām forgetting details too like just the fact that I love the idea of Tonari and Fushi chilling at night#chatting and looking at the stars and enjoying each otherās company. my favorite scenes of them are always them shrouded in darkness and#covered in some sort of fireside lighting I just!!!!!! theyāre so good in the dark thank you for drawing them at night#they are a moon couple to meā¦ and ZeLink is a sun couple to me like idk how you got all these details DOWN about me! maybe we see the world#similarly :3 good to know I have someone in the world who sees them the way I do š#aahhhh Iāll let you get off to sleep now dear friend!!! and thank you again! thank you thank you thank you!!!!#this is truly shaping up to be the best birthday ever!
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One of the things I think of a lot with regards to John isāwhy didn't he have any friends in his real life?
None of the beta kids ever seem to mention having irl friends that they miss in the aftermath of the apocalypse. And yeah, they've got a lot of other stuff going on, and it's not really in the narrative's nature to bring up people not somehow involved with sburb, but on a watsonian level, if any of them had other friends that died in sburb's aftermath, you'd think they'd say something about that grief at some point.
It's relatively easy to explain away the other beta kids' friendlessness. Jade lives alone on an island, Dave is Dave (raised in an extremely weird way that does not make him well-suited for regular life), and Rose's mom is strange and rich enough that Rose probably goes to some shitty private school or has an online tutor or something.
But John is such a public school-type kid through and through. He's just some guy. But the more I think about him, the more I'm thinking about why he must not have any friends. He canonically spends most of his time online.
He's into (poorly) coding, shitty movies, online games, and magic tricks, none of which are a particular recipe for popularityāespecially not as a twelve year old in 2009. He also has a peanut allergy.
Unfortunately, that's also probably a social strike against him. Schools are historically really bad at dealing with kids with severe allergies. There's decent odds John was eating alone and isolated at an "allergy table."
Overall, he's kind of made for being a run of the mill social outcast. He's not Dave levels of weird, and he might not be horribly bullied, but he absolutely strikes me as the few to no friends sort in a really painfully mundane way. He's just some dweeb. He's painfully sincere and enthusiastic most of the time, yet clearly has some self-hatred issues deep down that he doesn't like to think about.
He likes unpopular things and lives his life online. And pre sburb, at least his online life seems happy! He has good friends! But I can't help but wonder what his hours not at his computer screen were like. It's hard being twelve years old and goofy and awkward and friendless.
All those deeply repressed internalized thoughts about how lame he is have to come from somewhere, y'know?
#john shines SO bright and is SO enthusiastic most of the time. aggressively so#he loves what he loves. and yet#lame kid. clowns. etc#it really makes me think about how those ideas end up in his head and what his school life must be like#and the peanut allergy on top of his interestsāperfect unpopular nerd cocktail unfortunately#like John is the least angsty character in a lot of ways. esp pre-sburb john#he doesn't have a crazy horrible life like a lot of his friends#but the mundane relatability makes the struggles he does have all the worse y'know?#sorry I did warn y'all I was going to be losing it over John during this reread#homestuck#john egbert#homestuckposting#english major hours#andie rereads homestuck#and yeah I know that dave comic I linked is just a fanwork#but it rings SO real and true for me#it's canon in my heart and completely aligns with canon as far as I know#long post#ID in alt text#homestuck 72#<<it's about multiple pages but the allergy page is what prompted this
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i've already written about these quotes in my own drrr novel notes but i have to post about it here too just because i need to speak about it again but
narita describing izaya as 'very difficult to grasp or classify' here in his first real appearance and introduction is so UGHHHHH it's so fucking good. izaya is like an enigma and he is so complex and he's got all these things going on with him that all work to make him so so so beautiful and so i just really like that narita worded it like that. i love to observe izaya like he's a specimen under the microscope.
the other things i highlighted were also very important to me i think the 'anything that wasn't himself' is also a good glimpse into izaya's personality and the way his mind works. 'equally pleasant face' i just like that one cause i like when they call him beautiful in the story . <3
this also made me feel like i was going to ascend from my couch first time i reread it a while back. how interesting is it that narita describes mikado's feeling as though his 'entire existence would be denied' by the very man who so obviously struggles with facing his own humanity and instead chooses to see himself as an omnipotent figure. i just idk i'm not even going to try and get further into it bc i'm already like just feeling like i need to start rolling around and pulling my hair out but my god i love izaya orihara so much he truly is the goat he is MY goat ššš
#do u know how hard it was for me to type out coheremt thoughts on this instead of just going#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and adding 30 reaction images#anyways. opened up adobe acrobat just to highlight the text in cute colors.#i need to get back to my drrr novel reread/annotating bc i have so many thoughts about izaya#but the main thing stopping me other than school is that#i have it all on my izaya site... and i dont even have a set layout for it yet...#if anything i am really unhappy with how it currently is because the quote(s) and my annotations are all together#and i want them separate.#actually the way i did the shizaya fob lyrics thing is inspiring me to just go and use tooltips but like.#i dont like to use js when i dont need to...#i might just try doing a side by side thing but then i'd have to use scrollboxes to ensure the sdame height#sorry. sorrey. rambling again. i will be quite now#mine
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screaming crying yelling my prof being like 'have any of you written fictional stories before' as i have my messy breakup masadai fic open in another tab
#snap chats#//THROWS UP//#ITS THE WAY HE WAS LIKE 'oh can you talk about your process :) do the characters live in your head do you hear them'#and im just sitting here like absentmindedly talking like#'oh yeah i guess they do haha uh like whenever i write something 'they wouldnt do' i hear them say 'i wouldnt do that''#which is true whenever i go to write one of these fucks doing something and its not right i hear a bitch in my ear like#'i woudlnt fucking say that' like youre so right my queen im sorry let me reread the text fifty times to get it right#ITS HOW HE GOT SO ENTHUSIASTIC TOO LIKE 'oh my gosh really :00 isnt that so fun isnt that cool :DD'#if it werent for the fact i can perfectly hear will yun lee in my head at any given time then sure i guess#anyway my professor doesnt understand the depths of my mental illness but im glad fanfic writing has become relevant to my academic career
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Ford pines for headcanons?
YES FUCKCING YES GIRL!!!!!!!! LETS A GO !
A (Realisitic): lovessssss doodling on paper. has an affinity for eyes (;]), swirlies, scribbles, and creatures. whatever he can get his damned hands on he will doodle on it and he will do it happily. my boy's an artist ā¤ļøā¤ļø
B (Not Realistic But Funny): honestly in canon ford's probably into music too much but i can see him being an period music fan. abba, queen (teehee), freetwood mac, david bowie, etc. that's just his VIBE to me, not in the crowley way but in his own strong inks and cigarette smoke way. i associate thoss things with him as well as anythinf existing before 1982 with him alot if u didnt know. i still see something and go "ford missed this š" or "ford didn't miss this! š" in a sad or happy tone at least once a day /srs. oh i love this guy
C (Heart-Crushing): this kinda collides with D but im keeping it in that category. soul crushing? ford never knowing what to hope for in regards to stan on the other side. whenever he has time to think about it, he isnt sure whether to imagine him in his house or dead in a ditch, and the mystyer honestly scares him more than he'd like to admit. ford kinda treats it like schrodinger's cat in a way--as long as he never confirms, it could really be anything, and that absolves him of any potential guilt. so. (also: that he celebrates holidays out in the multiverse too, when possible. makeshift menoras, pastries in substitute of bday cakes, lighting sticks during new years. just for the sense of grounding. ALSO alsohe's spent at least 3 birthdays in a prison cell or very hurt. so. yeah)
D (Unrealistic but FUCK CANON): has always stuggled with addiction, especially with antidepressants or alcohol. thus sort of snowballs into a whole "if this makes me feel good i cannot have for more than needed" but still ends upgrappling with it anyway. he suffered MAJORRRR withdrawlel when portal stranded and since then swore off it bc he drank the most under bill's influence. it's very important to me and i need more fics about it sooooooo bad, bc while i HAVE written my own, i think someone else is needed to do it justice. now that im remembering this i HAVE read some with this hc and they were beautiful and i need to reread them again and i need to REWATCH THIS DAMN SHOW SO I CAN READ AND WRITE SOME FIC AGAI .... also there IS some evidence as extracted by @/callipraxia (need to find that meta again) but i DOUBT that would ever be canon bc of the kid show rating. (watch the book of bill canonize this seven fucking months from now. i swear to god..../j)
TY FOR THE ASK!!!!!! šš
#this mightbe unprompted but i just wanna preface this saying#just becauss you see gomens on ur dash almost exclusively now doesnt mean im just a gomens blog#like i still love gravity falls SOOO MUCHHHH like ur never gonna get rid of that that was my FIRST fandom#thats the one where i found all my friends!!! thats what we bonded over and still talk about!!!! i am still the ford person#(if you'd like me to be!)#and im likely never gonna let that go regardless of how far it may slink in the background#i still have a whole shelf dedicated to my merch for it for FUCK'S SAKE#i just reallyyyyyyy need to rewatch it. but im scared of rewatching things especially since theyre so long lmao#i also.need.to continue my fic! and get stanuary up and running GOD DAMN IT!#wait FICS. its TWO gf wips i have AURGHHHHHHHH#i need to revive my love. i can feel it on the precipise but im not yet in touch. i'l get back there i PROMISE !!! none of u are safe >:)))#ask game#the guys (with a z!)#sorry for the long text jacky i was just unloaded djbdndndddjs#god man now that im thinkinf about it again there some damn fics i need to read/reread. I NEED TO REWATCH GRABITY FALLS#I WILL. STARTING TOMORROW. I NEED TO DO IT TO REFRESH ON MABEL AND STAN FOR STANUARY AND THE FIC PASS THING ANYWAY. IMA DO IT.... PROMMY
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Happy birthday to our favorite hacker!
"I think you liked strawberry roll cake, so I bought you some. Or was it strawberry shortcake? Anyway, hope you like it. Happy birthday Ren! :)"
Oh, Angel...
14DWY IS AN ADULT VN MINORS DNI. PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO OR YOU'LL BE BLOCKED
#14 days with you#14dwy#me? posting a birthday/event fanart the same day it was supposed to be done and posted??? now this is a rare sight indeed#anyway. Initially I was going to make something cutesy and more Valentine's day themed but it ended up being a bit uhh#POV you came back home after stalking your soon to be darling forever and can't stop rereading the post'it note they left alongside a cake#I was going to make him Ren but then I came with the idea that he's home so he drops his wing but he hasn't changed clothes yet#also that's why everything's dark. The blue effect is because he's in front of his computer. Probably stalking angel#no this is not an excuse to not make a detailed background nope of course not who said that#I still haven't designed my mc yet but I hc they try to remember details like their friends favorite things to later gift them that#although sometimes they don't remember it clearly. But it's the intention that counts right?#I can't believe my first post/drawing here it's a low effort low quality doodle I did yesterday#anyway sorry this is all I came up with. Take this as an offering Renren š¤²#HELP IDK HOW TO MAKE COLORED GRADIENT TEXTS how y'all do it? please teach me how that witchcraft works#tumblr for god's sake don't fuck my drawings quality#14dwy redacted#14dwy ren#don't look too much at the wig I know it's horrible-#artists on tumblr#ā” ā nnkk's art
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iām so normal about aiku haha
#suki rambles#rereading bllk for the third time and iām still screaming over everything but now is the only time i reread it where my loyalties swayed#i was always a sae girly like... he just hits diff and heās the prettiest UGH (chigiri is the prettiest but shhh)#BUT AIKU HELLO?!?! HEāS SO FINE AND WHAT FOR#and are we not gonna talk about that panel where he effortlessly tackled shidou and pinned him face down... yeah... THAT panel#ong that was such an iconic intro of him and he looks so scruffy and scrumpty and i wANT TO LICK HIM whoa what?#HIS BICEPS TOO OMG but mostly his face. i want to kiss him so bad š i want to give him gifts and sniff him he smells expensive or like#leather i just know it#he also looks like someoneās baby daddy... itās me iām someone#when he said nothing gets past him and heād be like the cop in the field ooh yeah OFFICER ARREST ME CUFF ME#heās like soccer aizawa and my eye twitches every time i see him bcos i love aizawa too UGHHH AIKU OLIVER THE MAN YOU ARE#heās so emotionally unavailable n thatās exactly my type. heād leave me on delivered for hours and reply only after midnight then say#āsorry baby haha was just busyā heād be so cold and nonchalant thru text but so cocky and smooth in person š oh iām in pain#heās gonna break my heart and iād let him! also the type of guy who doesnāt bring flowers in a date but would buy you one if u asked#then says its not that big of a deal when you go heart eyes at him... only ever wants casual shit n then avoids u when you start falling š#also his thighs too. damn. DAMN. looking respectfully sir i am in love with you please take all that i have šš»#karasu is my new crush too HES JUST SOOOOOO okay i love them IM SCREAMING#gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure when my dark haired red flag soccer men come on screen#idk should i open requests for bllk i wanna write them for funsies š
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uhm sorry for the silly question but you said elias is your top3 and ohara 6 and i wanted to know the whole list ._.
Man, I meant to answer this as soon as I saw it but then it got away from me. I took this ask as an opportunity to yap, but even I was like oh this got too long so here's the list itself, and I'll leave the explanations if you're interested in that under the cut. This is ranked mainly by how much brainrot they give me.
Shuri
Richelieu
Elias
Jeremy
Nora
Ohara
Reihe Family (Alice, Hermann)
Ali
Theobald
Explanations:
1. Shuri I adore Shuri more than anyone else in the manhwa. Like do I even need to explain. She is such a strong multifaceted character, so full of love and kindness in spite of her heartbreakingly tragic history. I've seen people call her boring, but I really can't see it especially after the Jeremy trial in S1. This is a person who will sacrifice herself, completely forego her own happiness, for the sake of those she cares about. Yet this sacrificial tendency is also motivated by her fear of being abandoned, not simply from innate kindness. Characters like that I am always weak to and will always love.
2. Richelieu If you follow me I doubt this is surprising, he's so fun to me. He's a terrifying villain who's actually a real threat and challenge to the main characters. I like how his motivations are well established, so all his actions just make sense you. Religious villains aren't uncommon in rofan, but in my experience it's typically the [Good Church was secretly Evil mwahaha] trope you know? So I find him, a character with time given to actually expand on his POV, very refreshing, very alluring. Though, what initially drew me in was his being a narrative foil to Shuri, the parallels in the connection he perceives them to have with the "2nd life", the visual contrast constantly at play in their encounters to an almost genre bending degreeā¦ I go bonkers for shit like that between protagonists and antagonists. It's because of him that I picked up asm again in S2 and truly fell in love with the story. I'll keep it at that lest this gets too long.
3. Elias Eliasā¦ Elias my beloved problem child. He's kind of framed as being the more emotionally perceptive sibling, so the fact that most of his conflicts are internal ones bleeding out into bad decisions just makes me so š©š©š© His feelings of alienation and separation issues within his own family endears me to him, I'm very fond of black sheep characters He also hides all this with his friendly and comic relief demeanor which makes me love him moreā¦ the multiple arcs we had with Elias as a main figure solidified him to this position.
4. Jeremy Honestly the gap between him and Nora is so so small, but Jeremy makes me just a little bit more insane because of the tragic aspect of his character in his quiet love for Shuri that, thanks to their unfortunate circumstances, could never be, despite those very circumstances being what allowed him to grow such love for her. Aside from that, it's the usual obvious things people love about him, his protectiveness, sarcasm, kindness beneath the rbf, etc etc. It's always great to see him interact with other characters, especially Shuri or Nora.
5. Nora I don't have much to say that hasn't been said by others, he's a beloved and popular character for a reason. I grew to like him a lot more in S2, we got to see more sides of him and see how he's grown since S1, especially in his scenes with Jeremy and Shuri. Also, he's an artist so I feel a sense of kinshipā¦ the whole sketchbook thing and shuri painting was so real. His conflict with his family is also tragically compelling. That last chapters that had him in S2 hit me in the guttt.
6. Ohara Mentioned most of what I like about her in the last ask. Ohara's got problems and she's very dear to me for it!!
7. Reihe Family (Alice, Hermann) I really liked the glimpses we've had of them in the manhwa. I became fond of Hermann, the Neuschwanstein's uncle aka Elias look-alike, upon rereads because of the parallels with him and Elias, they're both the black sheep of their families š„ŗ one day I'll finish that Alice & Hermann comic...
8. Ali My initial impression was just that he was a sweet boy, but then it showed he's quite the sharp cookie like his sister and I went ooooh! He navigated those political situations in S2 so cleverly. He's def going to be even more of a force to be reckoned with when he's older.
9. Theobald He's 9th on this list of favorite characters but I can't say I like him more than everyone not mentioned above. I enjoy his relationships is all. Like, anything with Richelieu is just great. There's also Shuri, Nora, Jeremy, Letran/Family of course- it's crazy how messy all his relationships are š
And thennn it's everyone else. Even if the character isn't on the list doesn't mean I don't like them or don't like reading about them. Personally, I find that every character in the story has something you can chew on!
#asks#asm my beloved#u asked for the list and i gave you this block of text im so sorry this is how im exposed as a chatterbox#to expand on richelieu making me pick up asm again for s2#i had an OI/rofan phase during quarantine and asm was one of the many i read but when i did it was midway through the jeremy trial#updates were slow and i was yet to be very invested so i forgot about it quickly#but it asm blew up during the epilogue for obv reasons and i read it again and was blown away#s2 came and i saw people gushing over it but i was like hmm i kinda like just ending the story at s1 it was enough for me#there was no future plot points from the very scattered & probably fake novel spoilers i read at the time that interested me#then i saw THAT panel of richelieu and shuri in ch 68 and it was So Over for me like wtaf is this asm??? what is going on over there#anyway its my most reread manhwa rn#and the only manhwa i actively follow loll its for sure one of the greats
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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but havenāt brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still š«Øš«Øš«Ø mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like āi need to take better care of myselfā and then ends badly. lol#tiktok āeverything showerā joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe iāll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to schoolā¦ā¦.#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im notā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø itās fineā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
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I wait for you
;Alex G
#alexās diary#I knew there would be a day where we wouldn't be together anymore.. I just didn't think it would be that soon.#I'll never understand the ending of us. I'll never understand how it came to be. I'll never understand any of it#I wish they'd understand why I'm upset at them. The ending of us left me confused and lost. Wondering why did you go quiet on me#quiet on me without saying anything before closing the door?#I reread our text messages and I don't understand. How can I ever understand when you said these certain things to me?#To make me feel so loved and cared for and understood only for you to leave in a way.#While I'm trying to trick myself into believing that you still love me - I know you don't. not anymore.#You said you'd always love me.. but oh what a sweet lie that was you gave to me. I was stupid enough to fall for it.#I foolishly still hope that some small part of you still loves and misses me.#But incase you find yourself wanting to come back.. know I'll still be here.. waiting for you.#I meant it that day when I said I'll wait for you.#There will be a day where I've moved on.. but I'll still love you nonetheless.. I'll still find bits and pieces of me missing you#How can I move on after the things we've been through? I mean.. I know I will one day but today is not that day#I'm still lost and confused and upset.#I know I wasn't the best for the last few months we talked... but all I needed was help.. not from you obviously.. I just needed a therapis#Which I have found and she's helping me. but I wish you didn't have to walk away. I wish you didn't have to call me draining.#I'm sorry I was.. I wish I wasn't like that. Maybe if I was someone different you'd still be here.#I want to stop loving you so bad but I can't. it feels impossible to stop loving you. I hate it. Do you want the same but can't get it?#I know you once loved me so that should be enough.#I wish it was just me and you again. I wish it was just us. I miss when it was.#I hope wherever you go you find happiness and love. I hope you forever chase your dreams and that you catch them one day#I thank you for everything that you have given me.#I'm sorry we ended the way we did. I wish we didn't have to come to end.#But sometimes things must end for the world to become bigger. For us to follow a new path. For us to grow and blossom bigger than before#Just know. even though I'm upset and confused. I'll always love and miss you. and I'll wait for you.. I'll wait for you till we meet again#no matter how long it takes. I'll wait for you.#im sorry for everything.#I think I'll always miss you forever like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
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