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lonely-ey3s · 2 days ago

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With All My Love: Chapter 10 | wondering why

Chapter 10 : Wondering Why

Word Count: 13.2k

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Chapter Summary: There are two big events this weekend for you and Joel, Sarah’s soccer tryouts and a work dinner Joel invites you to come with him, as he is trying to sign a client and wants to take them and their partners out for a nice dinner to sign them.

Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), f!oral, m!oral while driving (don’t be stupid and suck dick while your partner drives), unprotected p in v (wrap it up ya'll), light choking (hand on throat but not choking, more possessive), anxiety, mentions of PTSD anxiety, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, panic attacks, joel being a fucking hunk, use of y/n.

A/N: i’ve been listening to this playlist on spotify while writing this fic and ‘wondering why’ by the red clay strays has been screaming these two the whole time i’ve been writing along with many other songs but this one more than others. also, i’d love some feedback, what are some plot twists ya’ll are thinking will happen? i’m very curious to know 👀

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

3 weeks later

Sarah had tryouts today, she was a nervous wreck. She was up early this morning ready to go on a run you told her you would go on last night before you were up.

Joel woke you up to his head between your thighs and gave you some cardio before your alarm went off.

After he pulled 2 orgasms from you with his tongue, and your alarm went off, you got up out of bed and got dressed in your running wear which consisted of some running shorts and a sports bra and lately with the weather in the morning, a hoodie.

You went to open the bedroom door to leave when Joel got out of bed butt naked and ran to bring you back to bed, you giggled and kissed him as he tried to walk you back to bed but then pushed him to lay down on the bed, him chuckling and grinning, his hair askew from sleep.

You stood and smiled, “I got to go, Sarah’s probably waiting for me…” you chuckled and leaned down, giving him a gentle kiss. “We’ll be back soon.”

Joel nodded and sat on his elbows as you left the bedroom, quietly closing the door. You walked downstairs and Sarah was sitting on a barstool at the island, she looked like she didn’t get much sleep.

“Mornin’ sweets…” you smiled and came over to her, touching her back and rubbing it, “Nerves all over the place?”

She looked up at you, anxiety written all over her face, nodding, “I’m so nervous.”

You leaned down and kissed her head, “Come on, let’s run it out and talk.” you held out your hand with a small smile.

She smiled and caved, taking your hand and walking to the front door.

—

You both went to the mailbox and did what stretching you needed to do, moving around to get the blood flowing.

You looked at your watch and then Sarah and smiled, “Ready?”

She nodded and started jogging on the sidewalk, you chuckled and ran to catch up with her.

For the first mile, she kept quiet, focusing on her pace, and you watched for that small sliver of time when you could step in and start talking her off that nervous rabbit hole she was going down mentally.

Around mile 2 you were running by her school so you made a turn to go into the parking lot, “Detour! Come on…” you shouted to her.

She turned around and followed you.

You jogged to the soccer field and stopped in the middle of the field, sitting down, patting the ground next to you, inviting her to come sit by you, panting softly.

She sat down, brought her knees to her chest, and sighed.

You looked at her, and then looked at the field, “I don’t know if you know this about me but when I joined the army I was two steps away from death’s door.” you looked at the ground, “I was with a man who hurt me and right before I left, he almost killed me.” you cleared your throat and looked at her, “I went into boot camp with 2 broken ribs, I’m pretty sure I had a head injury, among other things… but the first day we got there, guess what we had to do?”

She looked at you, curious, “What?”

“Run 10 miles.” you chuckled. “I had never in my life run 10 miles in one go, not even when I was in track and field in school…” you smiled, “But that was the first test, if we didn’t finish, we didn’t get dinner or get to go to our dorms.” you looked back at your feet, “I ran and ran… til my lungs burned and I couldn’t feel my feet.” you bit your lip, and leaned back on your hands, “But I did it, and I came in 6th place…” you looked at her, “Which ticked me off, I’m far too competitive for 6th place…” you nudged her and she chuckled.

She looked at you and smiled.

“My point is, I ran 10 miles, with 2 broken rings and other things, and completed what I needed to do with little to no experience or skill.” you sat up and faced her, “You are going to crush these tryouts because you have skill and experience, as well as drive and passion.” you touched her knee gently, “You want this, right?”

She nodded, “Yes, so much…”

You nodded, “Then you’re going to get it. You’re going to make the team and get first string.”

She looked at the field and took a deep breath to calm herself, “I’m going to make the team.”

You smiled and stood up, yelling into the air, “SARAH MILLER IS GOING TO BE FIRST STRING!”

She giggled up at you and stood up, yelling into the air, “I AM GOING TO MAKE THE TEAM AND BE FIRST STRING!”

You smiled and nodded, “Again.”

She yelled it again, this time louder and with more confidence.

You nodded and smiled, “There we go. Speak it into existence. It’s going to happen.”

She chuckled and nodded, “It’s going to happen.”

“Your Dad and I are going to be there, Tommy and Maria too… the whole time, cheering the loudest for you, they’ll have a hard time forgetting you…” you winked and pulled her in for a hug.

She wrapped her arms around you and tightly held on, needing a hug, and support.

You didn’t let go until she did, and when she did you looked down and smiled, “You’re going to do amazing things, Sarah, you’re a brilliant young woman and have so much talent. I’m so proud of you.” you teared up a little.

She smiled and teared up too, “Thank you for supporting me…”

You hugged her again, “I’ll always do it sweets…”

She pulled back and nudged you and started running, “Last one home is a rotten egg!”

You chuckled and ran after her.

You both got home and Joel had breakfast ready for you both, Sarah’s favorite, pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream and a banana peanut butter protein shake for the needed protein she had been trying to drink in the morning.

You all ate breakfast together and she seemed to be in a better mood, laughing and making jokes.

Around noon you all packed into Joel’s truck and drove to the school for tryouts.

Joel dropped Sarah off as she wanted to do some warm-up drills before they started. He parked the truck and you both made it to the field with some camping chairs, hand in hand, ready to support her.

When you made it to the field you were too anxious to sit down so you stood up and crossed your arms and stood watching the field from the sideline. You looked like a true mom like this, concerned with your kid, watching for them.

Joel sat and watched you, smiling at how involved you had been in this whole process. He knew it meant a lot to Sarah and it was something he appreciated you doing, taking the time to be immersed in Sarah’s life and hobbies.

A woman came up to you, looking you up and down, looking a bit snobby with her designer bag and sunglasses, “I don’t think we’ve met before, I’m Janine Andersen… and you are?”

You turned to look at her and nodded, “Y/N… nice to meet you.” you smiled tightly and went back to looking at the field.

She nodded, “Nice to meet you as well. Um… my girl is Cadence, number 3, who’s yours?” she probed, looking at you and then the girls, trying to see who might be yours.

You smiled and pointed, “Sarah Miller, number 24…”

She looked back at you, “Oh, you’re Sarah’s um… mom?” she tried to dig in, knowing the story of Sarah’s mom.

Just as you were about to say something snarky back as you knew what she was trying to do, Joel came up behind you and wrapped his arm around you, “How you doin’ Janine?”

She looked at Joel and smiled, slightly blushing, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “Oh, Joel, I’m good. I was just getting to know your… friend…”

You looked at her and grinned, “Girlfriend, I’m his girlfriend.” you stuck your hand out for her to shake.

She nodded and shook your hand, barely taking it, like touching you was beneath her, “Oh I see.” she cleared her throat, pulling her hand away, “Well, what is Sarah trying out for?”

You clenched your jaw and turned away, she clearly was someone you didn’t want to be around with how she acted above you. Joel smiled looking out at the field and waving to Sarah, “First string. Same as your girl, yeah?” he looked at her and kindly smiled, trying to still be polite.

She nodded and smiled, “Exactly, I guess may the best player g-”

The whistle blew to start the small scrimmage, and you stepped out of Joel’s arms and started walking up the field, “Yeah sure, nice to meet you Janice!”, purposely saying the wrong name and abandoning the conversation, yelling toward Sarah, “Let’s go Miller!” clapping, getting hyped up.

She shouted back, “Oh! It’s Janine…” She waved her hand and tsked as you didn’t hear her, too far away.

Sarah looked your way and nodded, then looked back at the field, getting ready to zone in on the ball.

Joel tried to hide his smirk at your obvious jab at her, then looked at Janine and smiled tightly, “Thanks for comin’ over, but I think it’s starting and I’m gonna go join mine…” he grinned and nodded then ran to catch up with you.

The coaches were watching every player from the sidelines opposite of the parents. Sarah had told you that this scrimmage was one of the most important parts of the tryout, so you were up the whole time, running up and down the field with her if you weren’t standing in the middle with Joel, cheering her on.

Joel stayed and yelled from one area of the sidelines after you ran up and down a few times, not having nearly as much energy as you to run up and down with the game.

Sarah made two assists and 1 goal, you jumped and cheered for her, clapping, pumped up for how great she was doing. You were 100% the loudest and most involved on the sidelines, earning judging glares from parents and a comment or two as you passed about it only being tryouts, but you didn’t care, that was your kiddo and this meant the world to her, she needed the support.

During the half, which was a 2-minute break she came over to you, out of breath, “How do I look?”

You smiled and gently shook her by the shoulders, “You are doing awesome, you’re on fire!”

She chuckled and squatted down to give herself a break. You mimicked her and put your hand on her shoulder, “Take a breath, focus on getting the ball down the field, and don’t worry so much about making the goal yourself, but working as a team. They will want someone who can do that, not a narcissist like #5 or #3 who keeps hogging the ball and losing out on opportunities to share and score…” you pointed out to the field to explain things.

Joel saw you both and smiled to himself, he pulled out his phone and took a picture, it warmed his heart you were someone Sarah felt she could turn to. It was also a relief to share the load with someone when it came to raising a kid. You didn’t overstep and try to make her your own, but you offered help when it was needed and you were always 2 steps ahead of him with her and what she was involved in. He loved having you as a partner, and one day he knew you’d make a great mom.

The whistle blew and Sarah stood, you rose with her, “Keep pushing back at those trying to break your balance, challenge them, don’t be afraid to push back, be aggressive, but not hurtful, don’t let anyone walk over you, yeah?” you patted her back to send her back out.

She nodded as she listened with her hands on her hips, “Got it.” She turned to run away and shouted as she jogged away, “Thanks Mom!” then picked it up and ran back to her huddle.

You smiled brightly tearing up a little, and shouted back, not wanting to say anything in case it was a slip-up and didn’t want to worry her so you settled on, “You got this, sweets!”

—

The second half went better for Sarah, she challenged those who tried to push her around and it paid off. She tripped up number 3 and made her trip on her own feet, stole the ball from her. She ran down the field, passed it to someone waiting, and made a perfect assist to score.

You ran with her when she ran down the field to make the assist, “That’s it, take it all the way, go Miller!”

When she kicked it to the other teammate flawlessly and it made it into the goal effortlessly you jumped in the air and clapped, then pointed at her, “Way to work, Miller! Great assist, let’s do it again!” you ran back down the field as that’s where she was headed.

Joel stayed in the middle of the sideline but cheered loudly when she made the assist, “Way to go 24! Keep it up!”

The scrimmage ended a few minutes later but Sarah did great and you came back over to Joel beaming, “She’s doing so good!”

He smiled and chuckled, “How are you not out of breath? I think you did more laps up and down the field than the ref did…” he kissed your cheek as you hugged his side.

You shrugged and chuckled, “Didn’t feel I ran that much...”

Joel smiled and chuckled, kissing your head, “Maybe it’s all the cardio you’ve done today that’s helped…” he smirked down at you.

You tsked and shook your head, looking away, “Joel Miller there are children present.” you blushed as you chuckled shyly.

Joel was about to say something when Tommy and Maria came up, “Sorry we’re late, we uh… got distracted.” Tommy cleared his throat and smirked. Maria nudged him.

“So subtle Tommy…” She rolled her eyes and looked down shyly. You chuckled and nudged her to make her smile.

“She’s doing great, she had 3 assists and 1 goal in her scrimmage which I know she’ll be happy about.” Joel said proudly.

You and Joel both looked at her running through some drills while they assessed and timed her.

After another half hour of drills and short assessments, Sarah and the team were instructed to sit in a circle in the middle of the field while the coaches deliberated, choosing their players.

She looked back and you and Joel and smiled softly. You both held out your thumbs and smiled, mouthing, ‘Good job’ and ‘You got this’.

After 15 minutes the coach blew her whistle and invited the parents to surround the group for the big announcement.

The four of you walked together and stood as close as you could behind Sarah. You held onto Joel's arm, standing close to him, he leaned down and kissed your head, putting his hand on yours, softly saying against your hair, “Thank you for all you’ve done to support her, it means a lot to not only her but to me. I love you.”

You looked up at him and smiled, then leaned up and kissed his cheek, “I love you too.” you then looked forward as the coach started to talk.

“Thank you all so much for the support and time you’ve taken out of your day to come and participate in this season’s tryouts. Girls - you all did fantastic and we are so happy and excited for you to be on our team, you all are very talented and we were very proud watching all of you today.” she smiled at the group of girls.

You clapped with the group and cheered, smiling as Sarah looked back at the four of you, smiling at you all.

“With that being said, I know you are all super eager to know your positions so let’s get to it, shall we?” she chuckled and pulled out her clipboard.

“We will start with 3rd strings… will the following numbers please stand and come get your practice jersey over to my right?” she smiled at the group.

The third-string players were usually newer members of the team, Sarah said this was good, it meant they made the team.

“Numbers, 2, 5, 8, 13, 25, and 37!”

The group cheered and clapped, those girls stood, all super excited as they looked younger and were just happy to have made it on the team. They made it over to the assistant coach and grabbed their jerseys then sat back down, all the other girls congratulating them.

The coach smiled, “Alright, next is 2nd string, will the numbers: 3, 4, 7, 9, 11, 15, 22, 26, 31, 33, and 39 please stand!”

Everyone clapped and cheered, some of the girls that were called were disappointed as they most likely wanted first string.

You looked over and saw Janine look upset as her daughter was among that group called. You didn’t know if it was pure innocent disappointment or if she wasn’t getting her way with her kid getting what she wanted, you couldn’t make it out. But her kid seemed to be a bit spoiled as she rolled her eyes and flopped back down after getting her jersey, crossing her arms like a toddler having a tantrum.

You hid your face in Joel’s arm as you had to let out a small chuckle at the immaturity of the girl.

Joel looked down at you, confused, “Everything ok?”

You nodded and smiled, “Yeah, just…” you chuckled, “... I’ll tell you in the car.” you shook your head and then composed yourself as the crowd started to quiet back down.

Joel chuckled and kissed your head then turned back to the group.

“Alright, last but not least, we have our first strings!” the coach smiled brightly.

Sarah looked back at you and Joel nervously, if she didn’t get this, it meant she didn’t make the team, you made eye contact with her and mouthed, ‘It’s going to happen.’ then smiled softly at her. She nodded and took a breath before turning back around.

“Will the following numbers please stand: 0, 6, 10, 14, 16, 20, 24, 27, 30, 34, and 43!”

You let go of Joel's arm when you heard Sarah’s number and cheered, clapping loudly with him, Tommy, and Maria.

Sarah got up and smiled brightly, excitement beaming from her, she stood in line to get her jersey, bouncing on her toes.

The coach chuckled and once the girls sat back down she grinned, “I’d also like to announce our team captain for this season.” she grabbed a special jacket that was for the team captain and faced the circle. The group fell silent and all turned to the coach.

“This player is someone who has shown that they are strong player on and off the field as they have been working hard to train for this team while also maintaining a great GPA in their studies. They also exhibited the definition of teamwork in the second half of the scrimmage today which shows selflessness and the important skill of teamwork that we need to always remember. They are a beast as a forward and we know they will do great this season as one of our newer first strings. Sarah Miller, will you please stand?”

Sarah turned back to you both and had her jaw dropped, utterly shocked.

You giggled and clapped loudly, whistling for her, “Way to go sweets! Woo!”

Joel clapped and whistled loudly, cheering, “That’s my girl!”

You both were the loudest and Sarah had never felt so overwhelmed with love and support.

She slowly stood and chuckled, coming over to her coach, but then as she started getting closer she began tearing up as she didn’t expect this at all and it became real when she saw the jacket with her number on it.

The coach pulled her in for a hug and whispered something to her, then patted her arms encouragely, and nodded before patting her back to go sit back down.

She put on the jacket and she went to sit back down, tears falling happily, she sat back down and laughed as her teammates touched her back or arm to congratulate her, she was beaming with confidence and happiness.

“Thank you, parents and family, for coming out today, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Have a wonderful rest of your day and girls we will see you at practice on Monday!” she blew into the whistle to dismiss everyone.

Sarah was immediately swarmed by her teammates, all giving her hugs and high-fives.

The four of you waited to the side for her and when she made her way over you all cheered and clapped for her. She giggled and jumped in the air then you all pulled her in for a group hug.

Afterward, you all went for a well-deserved dinner to celebrate her then back home to enjoy a game night together.

A few days later

Joel came in through the front door after being back at work for the first time in a couple of weeks. Sarah was sitting at the table doing some homework and you were nowhere to be found. Joel assumed you were out running errands or upstairs as he hadn’t heard from you in a few hours.

“Hey baby girl, how was school?” he came over and kissed the top of her head.

Sarah smiled, “Good, how was work?”

Joel smiled, “Busy…” he chuckled and got into the fridge, “Any idea where Y/N is?”

Sarah shook her head, “No, I assumed she might be out with Maria or something, I’ve been home for a couple of hours.”

Joel nodded but something didn’t sit right, it wasn’t like you to not leave a note or text him where you might be.

He went upstairs, maybe you were in bed, not feeling well? He opened the door and peeked in but the bed was made and no sign of you.

Joel pulled out his phone and dialed your number, it rang, and after he felt like it rang a hundred times you picked up.

“Hey handsome.” he could hear you smile through the phone.

Joel let out a sigh of relief and smiled, “Hey sweetheart. Where are you? I just got home and couldn’t find where you were… scared me a bit.” he chuckled softly.

“I know, I’m sorry, I went over to Rose’s for a quick second and we just got to talking and lost track of time. I’ve helped her with some things around the house. I’ll be home soon, dinner is prepped in the fridge, can you put it in the oven at 375F and set a timer for 30 minutes?” you sounded sincerely sorry, and bad for not leaving a note or text.

“Of course. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” he smiled and started walking downstairs.

“I love you too, bye.” you hung up.

Sarah looked at him, “Where is she?”

Joel chuckled, “Rose’s…”

Sarah chuckled and nodded, “Say no more.”

Joel laughed softly and then did what you said and put dinner in the oven.

About 20 minutes later, you came through the front door with Rose. “I’m home! I brought Rose over since I made extra and she hadn’t made dinner yet…” you put your keys in the bowl and smiled.

Joel was on the couch watching the sports channel when he perked up hearing you and smiled, “The more the merrier…” he came up and kissed your cheek then gently touched Rose’s arm, “How are you today Rose?”

You slipped past them and went into the kitchen to check on dinner, everything looked good.

You started to take a salad mix out from the fridge and put it in a bowl.

Rose went over and sat by Sarah, and started talking to her about school.

Joel came over and wrapped his arms around you from behind, kissing your shoulder, “I missed you today…” he said softly against your shoulder as he kissed up to your neck.

You chuckled and leaned into him, “I missed you too…”

He smiled, “I uhm… I have this thing tomorrow night, with some contractors, trying to get them to sign a contract with us. Tommy and I are taking them and their partners out to dinner.” he started to get a little shy as he laid his chin on your shoulder, “Will you be my date?”

You blushed, “Is it a steak house dinner or black tie dinner?”

“Not necessarily black tie but fancier than a steak house…” he said softly as he began to rub your hips with his thumbs.

“Will Maria be going with Tommy?” you put some croutons into the salad.

“He’s askin’ her, but I’m sure she’s comin’...” he smiled softly.

You smiled and nodded, “I’ll need to go shopping tomorrow for something to wear, but yes, I’ll be your date cowboy.”

He smiled, moved to the side, and took your chin in his grasp, turning your head to kiss your lips softly.

You smiled against his lips and he pulled back, “Need help takin’ everything to the table?”

You nodded, “Yes please.”

He helped take the casserole and some plates to the table.

You ate with Rose, Sarah, and Joel before playing a game of Uno which was Rose’s first time playing.

It was becoming somewhat of a normal thing to have Rose around since you came home. Maybe Frank was right, Joel was coming more out of his shell. He seemed just as eager and engaged when she came around since you had first met her in the driveway. You didn’t want to think of him as grumpier before you met him, but it warmed your heart that if that was who he was, you were glad to have that positive influence on him.

You went out while Joel was at work and found yourself a dress for tonight. Joel told you he’d be home by 5 pm so you could leave and get to the restaurant by 7.

Around 4 pm you started to get ready. When Joel came home you were in a robe sitting on the bathroom sink doing your makeup, hair already done in a loose and sultry low bun.

Joel smiled seeing you and came up to the side of you, being careful as you were doing your eyeliner, looking at you in the mirror, “Hey baby… lookin’ good.”

You smiled and blushed, taking your hand away from your eye, “Thank you, sweetheart. I just need to finish my makeup and get dressed and then I’ll be ready.” you leaned over and kissed him softly.

He smiled and pulled you in for another kiss by gently grabbing your chin.

You giggled and kissed him again, softly pulling back and looking at him in the eyes before biting your lip, tasting him on your lips before going back to your makeup, “Anything I need to avoid talking about or need to boast about to help with this contract?” you asked.

He chuckled and left the bathroom to go get ready in the bedroom, “Nothin’ to avoid, but if you could befriend their partners that might help.” he came in the doorway putting on his dress pants.

You pulled your hand away and looked at your eyes in the mirror, satisfied with how you did a small wing on your eyeliner, “I can do that.” you smiled then got down from the counter and headed into the bedroom, grabbing your dress and shoes you had on the bed then went into the bathroom and went to shut the door.

Joel put his foot in the door before you could close it, “Since when do we not change in front of each other?” he said as he buttoned up his black dress shirt.

You chuckled and blushed, “Since today, now move your foot.”

Joel smirked, “What are you hiding?” he gently pushed the door open, trying to make his way inside.

You giggled and pushed against him, “Joel stop… you’ll see later if you behave tonight…”

He smirked and stopped pushing but kept his foot there, “Define behave…”

You chuckled and blushed, “Minimal funny business…”

“So funny business can still happen…” he said lowly, “Just minimal? Easy…”

You smirked at his cockiness and looked at him through the door and moved the robe you were wearing to open a little, revealing a sliver of some black lacy lingerie, “You sure it’ll be easy cowboy?”

Joel’s eyes got darker and he smirked, “What else you got under there baby?”

You chuckled and closed the robe, “Go get dressed, we’re going to be late…”

Joel tsked and moved his foot, “Yes we are…” he smirked.

You chuckled and closed the door, “No we aren’t!” you shouted from behind the closed door.

Joel chuckled to himself and finished getting ready, sitting on the bed as he put on his shoes and waited for you to come out.

You opened the door, and came out in a red dress that had a slit up your left leg, showing smooth skin and strappy heels you wore. You saw Joel and smiled, “How is this? Too fancy?” you bit your lip, feeling a bit overdressed now that you looked at yourself.

Joel’s jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes drank you in like you were the finest glass of whiskey in front of him, “Baby… you look…”

You blushed and looked at him, smiling, “I look what?”

“Ravishing…” he said as he stood up and came over to you, gently running his hands down your arms to grab your hands and kiss them before letting go of one and making you spin for him.

You blushed and turned in his grasp, “Thank you…”

He stopped when you were in front of him, and you gently put your hand on the lapel of his suit jacket, now drinking him in, “You look very ravishing yourself too, cowboy.” you slowly brushed your hands down his jacket, and then saw he had the first few buttons undone, showing some of his chest, you traced your fingers there and bit your lip then leaned up to kiss him gently, “You see now that, the button’s that are undone, that’s inviting funny business my love…” you lightly chuckled before your lips connected to his.

He brought his hand up from holding yours, cupped your cheek, and pulled you in closer by your waist as he connected his lips to yours in a soft but deep kiss earning a soft moan from you.

You hummed against his lips, “Think we can spare a few minutes?” you moved your hand down to his belt and started pulling it to undo it, feeling a pool of warmth in your core.

He smirked and put his hand on your wrist to stop you, “Now now, you said minimal funny business, remember?” he moved his lips to your cheek and then jaw to gently leave kisses there.

You grinned and bit your lip, “I said that for the dinner…”

You needed him, that little bit of chest he was showing, and this suit he was wearing was driving you crazy, “I need you… just a taste…” you said breathlessly.

He smirked, he liked that for once you were begging him to be late. He was going to use this to his advantage.

He took a step back, “As much as I’d love to taste you, we need to get going…” he took your hand on his chest and put it to his lips, giving it a small kiss before walking out of the room, fixing his belt.

You stood there shocked, for once being the needy one.

You scoffed and bit your lip, determined to get what you want. Fine, game on.

Joel waited by the front door for you, you walked out together and he helped you into his truck before getting in himself and starting the drive.

He put his hand on your thigh and gently rubbed it, you listened to the soft hum of the radio he had on.

About 10 minutes into the drive you turned your head to look at him, “How long of a drive is it?” you asked softly.

Joel looked over and smiled at you, “We still have about 15 minutes.” then turned his head back to the road.

You bit your lip and moved your seat belt to behind your back, before you leaned over and kissed his cheek then whispered in his ear as you undid his belt with your right hand, “Keep your eyes on the road baby… I still want a taste…”

You undid his pants which already had a hard cock pressed against them, then moved down to kiss him through his pants, teasing him.

Joel hissed and groaned, “Baby this is funny business…”

You pulled him out from his boxers and smirked, “Like I said, we aren’t at the restaurant yet…” You lightly let some saliva fall onto his tip then used your hand to stroke it up and down.

His hand gripped the steering wheel at the sensation, grunting, “Fuck darlin’...”

You stroked him like that a few times before taking your tongue flat against his shaft and dragging it slowly up and around his tip, letting out a satisfied moan, “Mmm you taste so sweet cowboy…” you kissed the tip which had precum leaking out, getting a taste of it and humming before softly putting your mouth over it and sucking it gently, moving your hand up and down towards the bottom of his shaft, playing with him.

He clenched his jaw together and let out a moan once your lips surrounded his tip, the truck speeding up a little due to his foot jerking. He quickly corrected it and grunted, “Baby fuck… I’m gonna get us in a wreck if you keep doin’ that…”

You pulled off for a moment and giggled, “Shall I be quick about it then?” then put your mouth back around him, this time putting himself deeper down your throat.

He let out a shaky moan and bucked his hips up, landing him to graze the back of your throat, making you gag, but you moaned at that.

He chuckled lowly, eyes looking down at you for a moment, “You liked that, didn’t you? Gagging on my dick?” he looked back up to the road.

You went up and down on his cock a few times before pulling up and swallowing, “I love feeling you deep inside me, whether it’s my pussy or throat, that’s where you belong…”

“Tienes la boca sucia, mi amor.” (You’ve got a dirty mouth, my love) he groaned as you put your mouth back onto his cock, taking him slowly back down your throat.

He stopped at a stop light and put his head against the headrest, fluttering his eyes closed as you bobbed your head up and down in his lap. The man at the light next to him looked over and could see your head bobbing up and down, he lightly honked his horn, snapping Joel’s gaze over to him, he nodded and smirked, giving a thumbs up.

Joel turned bright red, but then his eyes fluttered shut and he grunted as he felt you push himself as deep as you could down your throat and choke, causing that tug behind his navel to begin, “Fuck…”

The light turned green, and he got a few honks from behind him to go as he didn’t move fast enough.

He waved his hand to the car behind him and began accelerating the truck, “Shit baby, you’re causin’ traffic delays with that beautiful mouth of yours…” he groaned and smirked.

You moaned with him still in your mouth, earning him to jerk his hips up to the sensation, “Fuck baby…” he gripped onto the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white, you kept going up and down, slurping up the sloppy head you were giving him, making a mess of his boxers, “Oh Dios, no pares, así sin más.” (Oh god, don't stop, just like that.) he babbled and panted softly.

You kept doing that, moaning softly as you felt him jerk inside your throat, his breathing became faster and more erratic, “Mi vida, I’m going to cum…” he groaned and put his hand on the back of your neck to keep you deep on his cock.

He felt a deep pull and then like a coil had broken he came down your throat, gripping the steering wheel and groaning as he clenched his jaw, “F-fuck…”

You moaned and slowly pulled yourself off him, swallowing his load, as you slowly sat up.

He was breathing hard, flushed, and lightly sweating, keeping his eyes on the road.

You tucked him back into his boxers and softly did his pants up before kissing his cheek and leaning back into your seat, “Almost there?”

He looked over at you and smirked, “You’re… that was…” he couldn’t find his words, still feeling high from his orgasm.

You giggled and pulled the mirror down, fixing your lipstick and gloss, “I know…” you said confidently.

Joel pulled into a nice restaurant parking lot less than 5 minutes later and handed his keys to the valet, then came around and got your door.

You took his hand and walked in together to the hostess's desk.

“Welcome to La Caléndula, how many in your party?” the hostess asked with a soft smile on her face.

“We have 10, but the others will be there soon, I should have a reservation under Miller Construction?” he leaned up against the desk, keeping your hand in his.

“Ah yes, Mr. Miller, welcome. We have your table ready. If you’ll please follow me.” she grabbed a stack of menus and started walking back to your table.

Joel kissed your hand and then let you walk in front of him with his hand on the small of your back.

She took you back to a huge circle table to fit all of you, “Will this work for your party?” she looked at Joel for approval.

He pulled out your chair for you and kissed your cheek after he pushed it in, looking up at the hostess, “Oh yes ma’am that’ll do great, thank you.” he smiled softly and then sat down next to you.

“Wonderful. This is Ethan, he is your waiter, you all have a lovely night.” she nodded and then walked away.

Ethan stepped forward and smiled, “Good evening, you both look very lovely Mr. and Mrs. Miller. Can I start you out with something to drink?”

You blushed and shyly looked down at the menu when he referred to you as Mrs. Miller, then cleared your throat and looked back when he asked about something to drink, “I’ll start with an ice water.”

Joel looked down at the menu, “I’ll do a whiskey please.” he then looked up and smiled at Ethan.

Ethan nodded, “I’ll be back with those and check in with your other guests once they arrive.”

Joel nodded and then went to put his hand on your lap but you were quite far away from him, he looked up and tsked, “This won’t do…” he put his menu down then grabbed the underside of your chair and pulled you closer to him, making you giggle.

You looked at him and smiled, “That’s better, I think too…” you touched his cheek and kissed him gently.

He kissed you back and then heard a familiar voice and gently pulled back, looking over his shoulder. He smiled brightly and stood, “Hey good to see you Roger and is this the missus? Katherine, right?”

You stood with him and smiled, putting your hands in front of you, politely.

Roger smiled and took his hand to shake then pulled him into a hug, “Joel, thank you for bringing us out.” he pulled back and shook his hand then took his hand away and put one hand behind his wife on her back, “Yes, this is Katherine.”

Joel gently took her hand and kissed it, “It’s very nice to meet you, ma’am, Roger has told me so much about you and your little boy.” he smiled and then turned to you, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N…” he put his hand on your back and smiled as he pulled you to his side gently.

You held out your hand, to Katherine first, “It’s so lovely to meet you both.”

She shook it and then Roger took it and shook it gently then leaned in and kissed your cheek gently, “Lovely to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

You smiled and blushed, “All good things, I hope?” you joked.

Roger chuckled, “Nothing but the best I’ve heard from Joel, he never shuts up about you when someone sees your photo in his office.” he winked at Joel.

Joel looked at you and kissed your temple, “It’s true, I’m a lucky man, always grateful to be able to express it.”

Ethan smiled and came back with your drinks.

You looked at him and smiled, “Katherine, Roger, please sit…” you turned to gesture to the table.

Ethan smiled, “Mr. and Mrs. Kipper, lovely to see you’ve made it, is there something I can get you to drink?”

They both ordered a glass of wine.

You saw Maria and Tommy come in with another couple, you stood and excused yourself and touched Joel’s shoulder to get his attention and then walked over, “Maria you look amazing…” you smiled and hugged her gently.

She smiled and hugged you back.

“Come sit by me…” you whispered into her ear.

She nodded and pulled away, winking at you.

Joel came up and chuckled, “James, so good to see you, how was the drive?” he shook an older gentleman’s hand, he seemed a bit more reserved, and quiet.

“It was good, thank you for asking. Joel this is my wife Diane.” his wife who also seemed on the more quiet side held her hand out.

Joel shook it gently and kissed it gently, “Good to finally meet you, Mrs. Scott, I’m glad you’re here.” he let her hand go and put his hand behind your back, “This is my girlfriend, Y/N…”

You held out your hand and gently shook her hand, “Oh my, I love your dress, it brings out your beautiful blue eyes.” you smiled as you looked at her dress up and down.

She instantly lit up, “Oh my goodness, thank you! I was so nervous it wasn’t my color!” she shook your hand gently.

“No, no, you look amazing, I’m a little jealous you can pull it off, I could never!” you giggled.

James you could tell defrosted seeing his wife light up, it was like he rarely saw her like this and enjoyed it.

You looked at him and held out your hand, “It’s lovely to meet you, sir. I must also say, your tie also brings out your eyes…” you winked at him.

He let out a chuckle and shook your hand, “Good one, dear.” he leaned in and kissed your cheek softly.

You smiled warmly, “Come sit, we have Roger and Katherine here.” you moved aside so they could go sit down.

They walked past you with Tommy and Maria, going to sit at the table. Joel leaned down and said quietly, “Whatever you’re doin’ with James and Diane, keep it up. I’ve never seen that man smile.” he kissed your cheek.

You smiled and chuckled, “Roger that.” you took his hand and led him back to the table, sitting back down between him and Maria.

Maria looked at you, “Why are you so far away?” she chuckled.

You looked at her and smiled, then shrugged, “I’ve got a velcro boyfriend it seems.” you chuckled and looked at Joel who was already looking at you, you blushed and pecked his lips.

He chuckled and put his arm around the back of your chair and rubbed your back and shoulder with his fingers gently.

About 5 minutes later another gentleman and woman came up to the table, “Sorry we’re late, traffic was horrible.”

You stood with Joel and both of you smiled softly.

Joel shook the man’s hand, “Paul this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” he gestured to you. “And then of course you know Tommy, and this is his girlfriend, Maria.” he gestured to them.

You took Paul’s hand and shook it, “Paul, lovely to meet you.” you looked at his wife, “Lovely to meet you as well…” you held your hand out.

She smiled, “Wendy, sorry. He’s a little nervous.” she chuckled and shook your hand.

You chuckled, “Come, sit down, Ethan just came by to get James and Diane’s drink orders. He’ll come back and ask for yours.” you gestured to the empty seats across the table next to Tommy and Maria.

They sat down and so did you and Joel.

Ethan came by with the drinks he got for James and Diane and got Wendy and Paul’s then asked if you guys would like any starters.

Joel looked at the table, “What sounds good to everyone?” he smiled.

Paul piped in, “I’ve heard their cheese board is good here, shall we get two and share?”

The group nodded, and Joel nodded to Ethan, “2 of the cheese boards, please…”

The starters came back and everyone started doing small talk, casually getting to know their neighbors more, James sat next to Joel and talked his ear off about legal issues within the contract for about 15 minutes.

His wife peeked over and cleared her throat, “So Y/N, what do you do for work?”

The group quieted down a little and looked at you. Joel and James stopped talking to give you the table to talk.

You all of a sudden got shy and looked around, “Oh… umm..” you looked back at her and smiled, “I just got back from a tour in Afghanistan about a month ago… I was an army medic.” you smiled and looked back at Maria, “Ironically, Maria and I were stationed and partners there together.” you reached and took her hand.

Roger piped up, “Wait, so how did you end up with the Miller brothers?” he chuckled.

You looked at Joel and smiled then looked at Roger, “We signed up for a pen pal program before we were deployed and by some miracle were writing to them both. We had no idea until weeks later.”

Wendy smiled, “Wow, so you were out there… in combat?”

You nodded and smiled softly, “Yeah, here and there. Mostly just stationed in our main camp taking injured civilians and soldiers that were transported in but we went on a few assignments away from the base.” you shrugged.

James asked, “How long were you deployed actively?”

You looked over at him, “We were over there for about 3 months, but we were both medically dismissed. We both got injured on our last assignment to pretty much make us no longer useful to the Army.” you dryly chuckled.

“She’s being humble. I would have been killed if this one didn’t drag me out of the zone and carried me up 11 flights of stairs to be air rescued…” Maria added and put a hand on your arm.

You looked down and nodded, “I mean… 12 flights but who was counting…” you chuckled looking up, making everyone else laugh.

“Did you have to kill anyone?” Paul asked suddenly, Wendy kicking his leg, earning a wince from him and looking at her with a ‘What?’ expression.

You looked at him and swallowed, “Uhm, yes, Maria I think maybe injured someone when we went into our first assignment?” you looked at her and she nodded. You looked back at him, “But we um…” you looked down at your hands in your lap, taking a breath, then looked up and clenched your jaw before softly saying, “We weren’t combat trained… our jobs were to treat and save those injured in battle, so our duty was to more heal than harm, but there were a few times where we had to… you know…” you nodded and cleared your throat.

Everyone could tell the air was heavy and that maybe that wasn’t the best question to ask someone who had just come back home. Paul immediately regretted it.

Joel put his hand on your leg, gently squeezing it, and cleared his throat, seeing this wasn’t something you wanted to talk about, “Roger, you were telling me the other day that you were thinking of going to a Cowboys game, did you get tickets yet?”

After that, everything seemed muffled, in slow motion, and you felt your hands become clammy, your heart slowly picking up in speed, starting to disassociate.

Someone behind you opened a bottle of champagne and the pop of the cork startled you, you jumped in your seat and snapped out of the daze you were in.

Maria leaned over, “You ok?” she whispered.

You swallowed and nodded, “Y-yeah, I umm… I’ll be right back.”

You stood up, “Excuse me, I need the powder room.” you started to weave through tables, heading towards the restrooms, you bumped into a waiter, “I’m so sorry.” you said then kept walking.

You made it into the bathroom and instantly turned on the water, ice cold, putting your hands into it, trying to shock your senses, taking a deep breath through your nose.

Joel stood to go after you but Diane stood and touched his arm, “I’ll go check on her…” she smiled kindly.

He looked down at her, worried.

“It’s ok Joel… I’m a therapist… I know what she’s going through. I’ll go help. Stay here… I’ll take care of her.” she smiled and gently squeezed his arm.

He nodded and then swallowed, “If she needs me, send someone to the table, I’ll come.”

She nodded and then Joel sat down and watched as Diane made her way towards the restrooms.

James leaned in, “I’m sorry about that idiotic question Paul asked…” he rolled his eyes.

Joel smiled, “It’s ok, he couldn’t have known it would have that effect.” he leaned in and put his hands in his lap.

James chuckled, “Still, an idiotic question to ask anyone who’s been over there.”

—

You stood at the sink with your hands in the sink, taking a breath through your nose, holding it for a few seconds, and then letting it out a few times. You started to whisper, “You’re safe, you’re not in harm’s way, you’re home…” over and over.

Diane came in slowly, “Hey sweetie.”

You jumped at her sudden appearance then chuckled, “Sorry Diane, you startled me.”

She shook her head, “No need to apologize, are you ok?” she smiled sweetly, putting her hands in front of her to come across as non-confrontational as she could.

You chuckled and put on a fake smile, “Yeah, yeah… just washing my hands…” you lied.

She nodded towards the water, “Your hands are red, let me guess temperature shock to cold temperatures?”

You looked at your hands and pulled them out of the shamefully, grabbing a towel to dry them off, “I.. uhm…”

“It’s ok not to be ok.” she said calmly, staying where she was.

You looked at her and froze, “Pardon?”

“The question that Paul asked you, stupidly, I’ll add, produced a stressor in your brain. Triggered your flight or fight response as you had to think about triggers and trauma you experienced back there.” she took a step towards you, “You then disassociated and tried to shut your brain but were then triggered by the sound of that champagne bottle behind you, which sounded like gunfire, am I right?”

You looked down shyly, “Yes ma’am…”

“It’s ok not to be ok.” she stepped closer and gently took your hand which was ice cold still. “You went through unimaginable events and trauma that no one knows about other than maybe Maria, but even then, you experienced them together but maybe processed them differently. No one expects you to be ok after getting back so soon.”

You let out a breath of relief and put your other hand over hers, “I feel like I didn’t go through things bad enough to feel this way.” you looked down, “I feel guilty when I have these moments of panic or anxiety. I know so many others that went through things harder than I did.”

She sighed sadly, “Let me guess, absent parents growing up, self-raised, in a toxic relationship before going into the military, only child?”

You looked at her and raised your eyebrow, confused about how she knew all that, “What kind of psychic voodoo magic are you dealin’ with lady?”

She chuckled which turned into a laugh, which you joined in on.

She shook her head, “No voodoo, just years of school. I’m a psychologist.” she smiled.

You smiled and nodded, “I see… so I’m textbook?” you chuckled and pulled your hands away, feeling exposed.

She shook her head, “No, not like that, you just… you’ve been through a lot and maybe don’t know how to process things, you know?” she sighed, trying to reconnect seeing you were pulling away.

You leaned against the sink, and clenched your jaw, frustrated that was who you were and she could pick up on it so easily, “Yeah, you could say that…” You looked down and sighed, knowing you needed help, “Do you uhm… do you take people like me?” you looked up at her, biting your lip nervously.

She nodded, “I do… would you be interested in talking to me outside of this setting?” she smiled gently, slowly moving to lean against the sink with you.

“You… you don’t think something is wrong with me?” you looked back down at your hands, messing with your bracelet.

“Nothing is wrong with you, you’ve got a lot of scary things up in your head, things that you can’t process alone.” she looked at you, trying to find your eyes.

You looked up at her, “I’ll warn you now, I’m extremely stubborn and am notorious for shoving things down into a little box and keeping it there.”

She chuckled, “I’m stubborn too… and we’ll unpack that box, slowly and with a lot of support and guidance and I’ll show you how to make that box into something maybe a little bit more helpful when it comes to coping mechanisms.” she softly nudged you.

You smiled and nodded your head softly, “That’d be nice. That little box is a bitch after a while.”

She chuckled and nodded then stood up straight, “Do you need another minute or do you want to walk back with me?”

You looked at her and then let out a breath, “I’ll walk back with you if that’s ok.” you smiled softly.

She nodded and opened the door, “So, I have to know, did you really meet Joel being his pen pal?”

You and Diane walked back together, taking your time to tell her the short story of the events between you and Joel. The version only a select number of people knew about at that table.

You chuckled and nodded as you returned to the table, “Right? I thought it was a funny nickname too…”

Diane sat next to James and you came over to sit by Joel, he stood up and pulled your chair out for you, you sat down and he pushed it in, softly kissing your cheek and then coming to sit by you, putting his arm around the back of your chair and leaning in close, “Everything ok?” he rubbed your skin with his thumb softly.

You looked at Joel and touched his cheek gently and leaned in, gently kissing him then pulling away, “Everything’s ok.”

He nodded and softened in your touch.

Roger cleared his throat, “Did I hear something about a nickname?” he tried to engage you back into the conversation.

You let go of Joel’s cheek and smiled at the table, smiling, “I was explaining to Diane my nickname for Tommy…”

Tommy groaned, “Oh, no… we don’t share that with others, Sarah won’t stop callin’ me that now...” he chuckled.

You chuckled, “I for one think Reginald is a stoic name, very regal.” you teased.

Roger and the others chuckled.

“Wait… why Reginald?” Wendy asked as she snacked on a cracker and cheese.

Maria explained the story and you leaned into Joel, listening. Joel took your hand with the one that wasn’t on the back of your chair, gently rubbing it with his thumb, once in awhile bringing it to his lips to gently kiss.

Ethan came back after a little bit of time had passed and took everyone’s orders for their entrees.

Wendy spoke up and smiled at you, “Joel was telling us while you were in the powder room how great of a photographer you were, he mentioned you took a lot of photos while you were deployed, and showed us some you took with just a disposable camera. I was wondering if you ever thought about doing it professionally?”

You sat up in your seat a little and smiled, then looked at Joel softly, he looked at you lovingly and kept ahold of your hand. You looked back at her, “Oh, um… I mean I used to want to maybe do bridals/weddings or portraits but don't have the equipment and it’s so expensive you know? I think that would be a great gig for me though, maybe one day?” you politely said.

“We have a daughter getting married at the end of the year, I’d love to hire you…” she looked at you and smiled brightly.

You looked at her, and smiled, “I uhm… I could look into some rentals or something. I’d love to help.”

Joel cleared his throat, “We can make it happen.” he kissed your shoulder and winked at Wendy, who nodded her head at him, like they were speaking in code, and then turned to talk to Roger who was sitting next to her.

You looked at Joel, chuckling, “What was that?”

He looked at you and smiled, “What?”

“That like code wink and nod, what… it was like I was watching some secret message being communicated…” you said while looking into his brown eyes that just stayed looking at you happily.

“No code, just a wink and nod.” he lied, but good enough that you didn’t push further.

You bit the inside of your cheek and hummed, “Alright Miller…”

He leaned over and kissed your cheek softly before James pulled him away and asked him a work-related question.

Once Ethan came back with the food, that’s when the shop talk started between the men.

“So you’re telling me that it takes that much time to frame it out? I think that’s overestimating it, Tommy…” Roger said after Tommy gave him a timeframe for framing out the building they want to be done.

“Not if you want it done right. We ensure that it’s stable enough to withstand the floods we get here and in extreme cases any tornadoes.” Tommy rebutted, taking a bite of his steak.

Roger tsked, “You agree with him, Joel?” he looked over at Joel.

“Of course I do Roger, I wouldn’t be partners with him if I didn’t trust his word.” he smiled tightly, feeling a bit frustrated with his constant nitpicking.

You had been listening closely to the exchange and noticed none of them had mentioned seeing the work actually being done, they maybe had no understanding of how it was done and had unrealistic expectations.

You leaned over to Maria and whispered, “Is it just me, or has no one mentioned coming out to a site before? See how the work is done?”

She shook her head, “I tuned them out. I have no idea.” she chuckled.

You leaned back and looked at your plate, listening to them go back and forth about timing, you were about to burst if you heard Roger say one more thing about timing being overestimated, so you cleared your throat, “May I ask you something, Roger?”

He looked at you and softly smiled, “Of course.”

“What made you choose to work with Miller Construction?” you put your hands on the table in front of you, holding them together, tilting your head in curiosity.

He chuckled, “I um… I liked that it was family-run, liked their portfolio, and they also had great recommendations.” he smiled.

You nodded, and looked at Paul, “What about you, Paul?” you smiled softly.

He took a breath and smiled, putting his hand on his wife’s, “I liked how prepared they were each time we met with them before we drafted a contract. I also liked Joel’s work ethic, I heard from someone he worked with previously he was very attentive and professional. I liked Tommy’s attention to detail, he makes sure everything is in order and if it’s not, from past clients he would fix it.” he nodded towards Tommy, and Tommy smiled in return.

You nodded and smiled then looked at James, “Last but not least…” you smiled, “James, what were your thoughts?”

James looked at Joel, who was looking at you adoringly, captivated by what you were doing for him and Tommy.

James smiled at Joel’s love for you and looked at you, “I liked how highly Joel spoke of their team, how he advocated for their time but also highlighted they do amazing work when they are on the clock. I also liked Tommy’s attention to detail like Paul said, you can tell why these two are dominating their market. They are also family-oriented. Tommy with his mom and Maria… Joel with his mom, Sarah, and you… I like working with family men.”

You nodded, then looked at the men, “If you like all these things, and it sounds to me that you trust them and their skills… why are you all nitpicking how long it takes to frame or how long it takes to put headers on, or… forgive me but I’ve heard copper pipping at one point I think…” you chuckled and they did as well, “I just… pardon my blunt tongue, but why isn’t this deal sealed when they are clearly experts in this field?”

James sat up and looked at Roger and Paul, “She’s got a point, we’re just pussy footin’ around at this point… delaying the project…”

Roger bit his lip and nodded, “I guess we are…”

Paul chuckled and looked at Joel, “How does signing tomorrow work for you?”

Joel sat up and looked at Tommy, who almost choked on his wine, Joel looked at Paul, smiling, “Yeah, that works great. I can have my people there by noon, does that work for all of you?”

They all three nodded and stood up.

You sat back in your chair and smiled as the men all got up and shook each other's hands.

Joel was over the moon this deal was over as it was taking up a lot of his time. He looked back at you as he was talking to Paul and smiled at you, mouthing, ‘Thank you.’

You nodded and blew him a kiss then looked at the women, “Now that’s over, let’s talk about anything but work, shall we?” you giggled as they all nodded.

—

After you all shared more stories and got to know each other better over some dessert and wine, Ethan gently came over and whispered in Joel’s ear they were closing soon. He nodded and then cleared his throat, and told everyone that it was closing time.

You all said your goodbyes and they made it to the front where the valet went and got their cars. You hung back with Joel while he paid and left a generous cash tip for Ethan in the envelope.

He gave you his jacket as it was colder outside and kissed your cheek, “Ready, my love?” he offered his arm.

You nodded and took his arm with his jacket on which drowned you but you couldn’t help but blush at the kind gesture. He always made sure you were taken care of and never failed to accomplish that.

He led you out to the truck and tipped the valet then opened the door for you and helped you in, gently closed the door, and got in the driver's side.

He turned to you and leaned over, taking your chin in softly in his grasp and pulling you to his lips, kissing you softly and slowly, moving his hand to cup your cheek.

After a few moments you pulled back slowly, keeping your lips barely against his, whispering, “What was that for?” you smiled keeping your eyes closed against him.

“You just… you were amazing tonight. Without you, it wouldn’t have ended that well, I just am so lucky. I…” he chuckled and smiled rubbing your cheek gently as you opened your eyes to look at him, “You… darlin’, you’re always there to support me… you’re my best friend, and biggest fan and I love you and I’ll always do whatever I can to keep earning your love…” he said before pulling you back in and kissing you deeper but still slowly, taking his time with your lips, gently and slowly sliding his hand up your thigh towards your panties.

You combed gently through his hair to pull him closer, softly letting out a moan as you felt his hand crawl higher. You were about to crawl into his lap when the valet boy knocked on the window shyly, “Can uhm… can ya’ll keep it movin’… there’s a line.” he turned red catching you pretty much making out.

You giggled as Joel pulled away and put his hand up, flustered but not embarrassed, lips swollen and red as he rolled down the window and handed him a $20 bill, “Apologies sir… have a good night” he smiled like a teenage boy as he looked back at you, “Let’s get you home baby…”

Joel made a 25-minute drive into a 15-minute.

He helped you out of the truck and then grabbed your hand as you practically dragged him inside.

Once the front door was closed he pressed you up against the wall in the entryway, lips feverishly crashing against each other, hands roaming each other's bodies, soft moans escaping your lips as he pulled you against him.

Sarah’s bedroom door opened and the light illuminated the hallway which cast it down the stairs.

Joel pulled away from your lips quietly and looked at the hall, whispering, “Go back to bed, go back to bed…” praying she wouldn’t come down to check if she heard a noise.

You both heard her cross the hall into the bathroom and then moments later the toilet flush followed by her sleepily making it back to her bedroom and closing the door.

You softly giggled, and Joel looked down at you, eyes hungry, “Meet me in the bedroom? I’m going to go let her know we’re home and kiss her goodnight.”

You nodded and pecked his lips gently before going up the stairs and going into the bedroom.

Joel did what he wanted and Sarah was pretty much out, barely understanding what he said due to how sleepy she was.

Joel made it into the bedroom as you were starting to take off your heels, “Leave ‘em on…” he closed the door and locked it then came over and knelt, putting your heel back on your foot.

“Quiero que me pongan estos cuando vea lo que tienes debajo, mi amor. Quiero ver si los quiero encendidos o apagados mientras te follo.” (I want these on when I see what you have on underneath, my love. Want to see if I want them on or off while I fuck you.) he kissed your ankle softly, looking up at you.

You blushed and bit your lip then stood up and took his chin in your hand, making him rise keeping your eyes on his then turning around and moving your hair to the side, smirking as you looked at him from behind your shoulder, “Could you unzip me?”

He slowly traced his fingers up your body, while he leaned down and kissed your shoulder up to your neck, humming before his fingers landed on the zipper, “I want you on your back the second this dress hits the ground, I need to taste you.”

Your breath became quick and excited, and you nodded, “Yes sir.”

He slowly led the zipper down then moved the straps off your shoulders to have the dress fall off your body and pool around your feet on the floor.

You turned around and sat down on the bed then laid down slowly below him to expose an all-black strapless lace lingerie set.

He bit his lip and started to palm himself through his pants, “You naughty girl, hiding this from me all night?”

You smirked and purred, “I’m sorry sir…”

He slowly knelt and pulled your hips to the edge of the bed, “Come ‘ere…” he growled as he opened your legs up and put them over his shoulder, moving your panties to one side.

You giggled when he pulled you but that was quickly replaced with a breathless moan as he drew a line up your slit with his flat tongue.

He began sucking and flicking his tongue against your clit, giving it feverish and slopping kisses with his mouth. You moved your hands to comb through his hair which was slightly damp with lust and hunger for you.

You arched your back and your legs began to shake as a warmth started to spread up your body from your core, “Fuck… I…” but before you could say anything he pressed his tongue deeper onto your clit and pulled an intense and gravitating orgasm from you.

You saw stars and gripped tightly onto the bed below you with one hand and his hair with the other, begging for him to stay where he was as you started to involuntarily grind your core against him as his scruff provided the perfect sensation to make you barrel over the edge again shortly after.

He grinned up at you from your thighs and pulled back slowly, humming, “Scoot back.” he commanded, starting to unbutton his dress shirt and she ran his eyes over your body, planning what he was going to do to you and your beautiful body.

You felt like jello but you did what he asked and moved your body back to be more center in the bed. You sat up on your elbows and watched him undress, biting your lip and blushing, “You looked so handsome tonight, mi amor. Tenía al hombre más fuerte, guapo y gentil del edificio. Soy una mujer muy afortunada.” (I had the strongest, most handsome, and gentle man in the building. I'm such a lucky woman.)

He blushed at the comment and compliment, he unbuttoned his pants and removed both them and his boxers before crawling between your legs and nestling himself between them, his cock pressed against your weeping pussy and connected his lips with yours in a slow intimate kiss, rocking himself against you.

You slowly laid back down, cupping his cheek and gripping his bicep to pull him closer to your body, moaning softly as he began to probe his tongue at the entrance of your lips which you granted entry to.

He groaned and put his hand between your bodies, grabbing himself to align with your entrance before wasting no time wrapping himself around you.

You gasped and moaned, pulling your lips away at the sudden intrusion, feeling a jolt of electricity cascade up your body.

He moved his lips instantly to your neck and began sucking and marking it, claiming you as his with gentle marks of his affection.

You began rolling your hips with him, creating this sea of ecstasy between the two of you.

You gently grabbed onto his shoulders and bicep as he started to pick up the pace, making that coil deep within start to wind, pressure building.

“You feel so good wrapped around me…” he kissed your pulse point, “All I could think of after you helped get that damn deal sealed was worshipping your body and making you come undone on my cock.” he confessed as he whispered it into your ear as he continued to roll his hips, thrusting himself deep into you as a pace and rhythm that had you dizzy and speechless.

He moved his hand up from your waist to your breast and gently cupped it, “Come for me, my love… quiero adorarte. (I want to worship you.)

You arched your back and your eyes rolled back as he pinched your nipple, and moved to the other side of your neck to kiss and suck on your pulse point, making that coil snap. Your legs quivered and fell flat against the sheets as your body was going through a religious experience after that orgasm.

You could feel him grin against your skin and he pulled back, hissing as he removed himself from deep inside you, “Hands and knees, mi vida…”

You panted softly, out of breath, “Give me a sec…” you chuckled and swallowed, trying to catch your breath.

Joel smirked and then grabbed your lips, flipping you around to lay on your stomach then putting his arm under your stomach to pull your hips up to you were on your knees, “Patience is not my virtue tonight, querida…” he lined himself up at your entrance, “I want you now…” he pushed himself slowly in, bottoming out.

You put your face into the mattress to loudly moan, arching your back for him, feeling him stretch you out blissfully.

He put his hand on your shoulder to pull you up, and the other on your waist, and began pumping into you, taking the breath out of your lungs the first few thrusts.

He groaned and held onto you, snapping his hips at a steady and brutalizing pace, making you pulse and tighten around him.

You moved your hand and touched his on your shoulder, “Baby please don’t stop, fuck you feel so good..” you begged as you moaned out softly, praying Sarah couldn’t hear the explicit sounds coming from your mouth.

He kept going at this pace for a few moments more, gripping the soft meaty flesh of your hips, digging his fingers into them to ground himself, he began to recklessly thrust into you harder and a little faster, and began feeling himself close to climax. “F-fuck…” he growled under his heavy and face pants.

He grunted and then moved his hand that was holding onto your hip and put it flat against your abdomen to pull you up flush against him, wrapping his arm around you to cup and grab your breast, turning his head to whisper, “Come with me…” he whined feeling the coil about to snap, “Please, mi amor…” he pleaded, continuing to snap his hips up into you.

You gasped and grabbed onto his hand that was wrapped around you, intertwining your fingers to his as you fluttered around his cock and came begging “Fill me up Joel, please…”

He moved his hand that was on your shoulder to loosely wrap around your neck careful not to choke but to assert his dominance as something deep within him wanted to claim you tonight.

He put your chin up a little to moan upwards, as he sucked on our earlobe and whined and grunted lowly into your ear as he came deep up into you, his hips stuttering and stalling as he jerked himself deep into your core.

You panted softly and leaned your head back against him, “I should come to more work-related dinners if this is what I get afterward…” you teased, lightly chuckling.

He kissed your neck and chuckled into your skin, “I’ll be taking you out to more dinners just to show you off, you and that dress drove me crazy all night…” he nuzzled his nose into the hair behind your hair and moved his hand around your throat to trace lightly down your body to wrap around your abdomen.

You closed your eyes and smiled, “I know… I felt your eyes on me constantly…” you lightly moaned as you felt him kiss your pulse point.

“I couldn’t help myself, I had the most gorgeous woman there��” he grunted as he pulled out of you and kissed your shoulder before slowly letting you go, “Lay down for me my love… let me wash you up…”

He slowly moved out from behind you and allowed you to lay down in the sheets, before he went into the bathroom and got a warm washcloth, softly wiping the mess between your legs as well as gently taking off your heels and setting them in the closet with your others.

You looked at him lovingly as he softly attended to you, and smiled, “Thank you for taking care of me…”

He looked at you and then threw the wash rag into the hamper before getting in bed next to you, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close as he kissed your forehead, “Gratitude is not necessary my love, I’ll always take care of you…”

You leaned your head up and looked at him, “I love you Joel…” you said with utter love and devotion, “I am absolutely head over heels in love with you.” you smiled lovingly, and combed his hair back on the side of his head, studying his face, committing to memory every piece of it.

He went to say something but instead gently took your chin in his grasp and brought his lips to yours, kissing your lips passionately and deeply, devoting every movement against your lips to express his undying and devoted love to you.

Previous chapter - Next chapter

taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen @pedritosgirl2000

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sunflowervoltwentyeight · 10 hours ago

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Happy 28th! Here is my January 2025 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Where You'd Rather Be by Itsmotivatingcara / @itsmotivatingcara (103k)

Louis runs the best Canine Search and Rescue school in Augusta, Maine, one that trains dogs to track missing persons. He lives an idyllic life on Togus Pond where he's built his career from the ground up. He has everything he could ever want, a beautiful home, friends he adores and a dog that aids his students in their training. Romantic entanglements have never been high up on his list of priorities.

That is, until he stumbles across a body in the woods. A woman was brutally murdered and dumped on his doorstep. It doesn't help that the Detective on the case happens to be devilishly handsome and just the right amount of broody.

Detective Harry styles has a murder to solve, he's just gotten out of a long-term relationship and he's certainly not looking for another. Regardless of whether the man who run's the SAR unit's blue eyes sparkle with promise and a sense of belonging. Something he may or may not have been searching for all his life.

Detective - Search and Rescue AU

With Venom on Your Tongue by wildestdreams / @thelavendrhaze (91k)

While Louis had to try so hard to stay focused and be the best, Harry somehow did the same things with ease and confidence. He hated how Harry glided through life, carrying happiness on his shoulders like it was nothing when it was arduous for Louis. His carefree demeanor made Louis feel crazy.

But that feeling just motivated him to always keep his eyes on the prize. Number one in the class rankings every year and the valedictorian spot the next year when they graduated. He was so close he could taste it. And if the only thing in his way was Harry Styles, then Louis was willing to up the stakes to figure out what made him weak just to beat him.

“Whatever,” Louis eventually said to Liam. “He’s a fucking cliche.”

or a boarding school AU where Harry and Louis are academic rivals until they realize they’re more similar than they thought.

You're All I Ever Dreamed Of by staybeautiful /@harruandlou (53k)

Harry sank lower until his chin was hovering just above the water line. He had his mug balancing precariously against the lip of the bath. It had to be cooling already, but he still looked serene, like there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

“I could live here,” Harry said, smiling with his eyes closed.

It was as if the words sprung from Louis’ mind, his mouth, and twisted into Harry’s. His heart picked up and before he could stop them they were tumbling out.

“Okay, you should,” he stuttered and Harry turned to look at him. “You should move in with me.”

Or after a Monday lunch with Zayn, Louis finds himself reevaluating what "too soon" means, especially when it comes to Harry.

Part 2 of such a beautiful dream

The End Should Be A Good One by bananasandboots / @anylessreal (43k)

It doesn't feel like falling in love, the way it had felt the first time around, easy, simple, almost like floating, wrapped up in a whirlwind of touches and kisses, late nights spent laughing breathlessly into each other's skin. This feels broken, complicated, like every move carries the weight of their past. Like the floorboards beneath them could collapse at any moment. This doesn't feel good.

Or, the one where Harry loses the love of his life on New Years Eve and finds him again, six months later, ready to open some poorly-stitched wounds.

I Want To Tell You That I Love You (but i can't speak) by tippitytap / @tippitytap (30k)

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I said go back to sleep,” Harry replied with a chuckle, completely and absolutely endeared by Louis’ casual stubbornness.

“I need a bedtime story.”

“Trust me, my mind is not made to be a bedtime story.”

“I don’t care, it’s the bedtime story I want to hear. I love Harryland, I want to take a visit before I fall asleep. If I’m lucky, it will follow me into my dreams. So,” he said, poking Harry in the ribs with one finger, “take me to Harryland.”

AU: Harry is hit with another depressive episode and his therapist is only available in six weeks. In contrast to when he went through this the first time, he has Louis by his side and together - and with a lot of love - they make it through those six weeks.

If I Had no Love to Give (I Wouldn't Give It to You) by kingsofeverything / @kingsofeverything (30k)

Small town restaurateur Louis Tomlinson needs someone competent to work in his kitchen.

Chef Harry Styles needs a job.

The Dead Things We Carry by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics (25k)

September ‘49 He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

Your Lips in the Low Light by etherealbliss / @givesuethemoon (20k)

“What?” Harry asks, turning towards him with a sympathetic little pout on his face. “You think she’ll let you put your hands on her throat like me? Give it up like me? Ask you to call her dirty names like me?” Harry laughs at him again, saccharine sweet yet unequivocally deriding, all at once.

And fuck, there’s a fire that ignites inside Louis when Harry speaks to him like this, almost as though he’s talking down to him, bitchy and uncaring. Louis doesn’t know whether he’s feeling a need to regain control of the situation or a want to stoke the fire even more until it consumes him entirely.

Set over the course of one night, at one fateful frat party. Louis and Harry find that there are not many things they will ever need more than each other.

Told You So by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal (5k)

“Harry, come outside and say 'hello' to Loretta.”

Louis rested his forearms against the fence. He wondered who Harry was? Maybe her son? He turned back briefly to check on his grandma. She had a sly smirk on her face, so he turned further to face her. “What? What’re you smiling like that for?” He chuckled.

“Nothing. Just— thought of something funny. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Louis squinted at her. Hm. Weird.

“What’d you need, Gram?” A new voice said.

Louis turned back towards Mary’s yard and nearly choked on his tongue. Holy fucking—. Harry was in fact not Mary’s son. Jesus fuck. He had brown hair that curled a bit at his ears, long legs on display in some mesh shorts, toned arms showing due to the tanktop he was sporting. Christ. He was hot as fuck. A thousand percent Louis’ type— and then he turned towards him and their eyes met.

“Oh. Who’s this?” Harry questioned, a soft smile on his lips as his eyes danced over Louis.

Or Louis' grandmother loved to meddle in his life no matter how much he told her to give it up.

A Man After Midnight by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry (4k)

Harry thought kissing Louis on New Year’s Eve would be a one-time thing, but they keep running into each other and it becomes a tradition.

What happens when feelings start getting involved?

Or the five times Harry kisses Louis on New Year’s Eve and the one time he kisses his boyfriend.

Coming Home to You by Anonymous (2k)

A very self indulgent drabble of Harry coming home to Louis featuring the overuse of the word cuddle.

#28th appreciation #january fic rec #larry fic rec #monthly fic rec #fic rec #hlcreators #read

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subarashiihibi · 1 year ago

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i've already written about these quotes in my own drrr novel notes but i have to post about it here too just because i need to speak about it again but

narita describing izaya as 'very difficult to grasp or classify' here in his first real appearance and introduction is so UGHHHHH it's so fucking good. izaya is like an enigma and he is so complex and he's got all these things going on with him that all work to make him so so so beautiful and so i just really like that narita worded it like that. i love to observe izaya like he's a specimen under the microscope.

the other things i highlighted were also very important to me i think the 'anything that wasn't himself' is also a good glimpse into izaya's personality and the way his mind works. 'equally pleasant face' i just like that one cause i like when they call him beautiful in the story . <3

this also made me feel like i was going to ascend from my couch first time i reread it a while back. how interesting is it that narita describes mikado's feeling as though his 'entire existence would be denied' by the very man who so obviously struggles with facing his own humanity and instead chooses to see himself as an omnipotent figure. i just idk i'm not even going to try and get further into it bc i'm already like just feeling like i need to start rolling around and pulling my hair out but my god i love izaya orihara so much he truly is the goat he is MY goat 🙏🙏🙏

#do u know how hard it was for me to type out coheremt thoughts on this instead of just going #RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and adding 30 reaction images #anyways. opened up adobe acrobat just to highlight the text in cute colors.#i need to get back to my drrr novel reread/annotating bc i have so many thoughts about izaya #but the main thing stopping me other than school is that #i have it all on my izaya site... and i dont even have a set layout for it yet...#if anything i am really unhappy with how it currently is because the quote(s) and my annotations are all together #and i want them separate.#actually the way i did the shizaya fob lyrics thing is inspiring me to just go and use tooltips but like.#i dont like to use js when i dont need to...#i might just try doing a side by side thing but then i'd have to use scrollboxes to ensure the sdame height #sorry. sorrey. rambling again. i will be quite now #mine

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loaksky · 2 months ago

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— come a little closer

hockey jock!vi x tutor!reader, fluff / humor / angst / kinda slowburn / smut (18+ mdni!), wc: 16k+ [buckle your seatbelts bc i could not shut the fuck up about vi if i wanted to !]

synopsis: you’re many things; an exemplary student, quiet and well-mannered, loved immensely by those who bother to get to know you, but most importantly, the newfound object of superstar athlete vi’s every affection. or, in other words, hockey jock!vi is lowkey a loser, atrociously down bad, and will stop at nothing to make you hers.

content warnings: language (duh), brief mentions of familial issues, latent insecurity, miscommunication & lack of communication, kissing, groping, SEX! mdni, seriously, i’ll THROW UP!, more specifically fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving), spitting, makeup sex idk, just good old fashioned lesbian BANGING! also! jazz cabbage, lets pretend for the sake of this au that student athlete’s don’t get tested bc i NEED hockey jock!vi to hotbox reader PLS.

fic soundtrack: i could imagine —alina baraz /snooze — sza /tonight — summer walker / pressure — james vickery + sg lewis / wish that i could — umi

author’s note: of course it’d be arcane s2 that resurrects me from my almost yearlong hiatus...pls enjoy this fic even though i’m pretty rusty; she’s been cooking in the drafts for weeks T-T i’ll be answering some (very long overdue) asks and chatting with you guys <3 and finally, this shit is barely proofread bc my brain is fried lol

main masterlist | arcane masterlist

VI HAS A HUGE PROBLEM.

One that supersedes every issue she’d ever given weight to in all of her four (and a half) years of university. Is way larger than twice-a-day practices on and off the ice that go hand-in-hand with studying so hard to make sure that her grades don’t slip a fraction. Probably way bigger than the fact that her little sister’s graduating high school soon and she’s trying her absolute best to be as great a role model as she can despite wanting to crack under the pressure. And most definitely bigger than her favorite on-again-off-again fling, Cait Kiramann, who’s rare to come by these days.

Vi has a huge problem, and quite frankly, it’s you.

In hindsight, she’s been relatively good at overlooking you, not that it’d been intentional to begin with, but Vi knows a lot of people. Too many, she feels sometimes. So it's easy for you to slip through the cracks when everyone’s vying for even a shred of her attention.

Perhaps it’s what piques her interest when your orbits finally do collide. Because, admittedly, you know all about Vi. Know that she’s probably one of the most valuable players on the uni’s hockey team (she’s an absolute beast on the ice). Also know that she’s a biomedical physics major and actually incredibly smart. But most of all, you know that not only is Violet a flirt, she’s a player.

Not necessarily that you’ve ever really been on the receiving end, but mostly because her reputation precedes her and you’ve seen it all from a distance. Can't not when the decorated hockey star is such a charmer whether she intends to be or not. Vi has girls both certain and questioning stumbling for a single glance.

You often think it’s pitiful, but it’s not like it’s really your problem.

Until it is.

It all starts at The Afterparty.

Hours after a big victory in the first game of three that solidifies whether the university hockey team participates in the championships, Violet is the star of tonight’s celebration.

She’d sunk the winning shot, and for that she’s being poured shot after celebratory shot. By eleven she’s practically hammered and it’s when her teammate, Ellie, and the captain, Abby, finally show up.

The three of them together, drunk, is like a minefield of obnoxious laughter, dirty innuendos, and rowdy behavior.

And for a while it’s funny, has Vi feeling like she’s on cloud nine, but eventually, the drunken high begins to evaporate and she starts to feel a little overwhelmed.

The spotlight shifts and even though Vi typically preens under the attention, she’s grateful to finally breathe.

With a plastic cup full of water, she’s sliding the back door open and stepping out onto the back patio to take in the cool air for a breather.

She makes a move towards the stairs, but nearly jumps out of her skin when she registers the silhouette at the base of the steps.

“Jesus, fuck,” Vi hisses to herself. “You scared the shit outta me.”

You don’t even spare her a glance over your shoulder, just take a sip from your drink.

“Sorry,” you hum passively.

She catches her breath, doesn’t even bother to ask permission as she drops all of her weight next to you.

The step creaks under pure muscle.

Her strong legs stretch out, elbows settling back against the step up as she waits. And waits. And waits.

The amount of silence that lapses is unusual, uncharacteristic for Vi, especially so because people are typically babbling enough to fill the void when it comes to her.

But you just sit there, nursing your beer and staring up at the stars. The moon hangs half in the sky, softly illuminating the planes of your features.

It’s her first good look at your face and Vi’s definitely drunk, but the immediate thought that comes to her mind is pretty, pretty, pretty. Undeniably and painfully pretty. And not Caitlyn pretty, the only girl she’s ever really used as a benchmark, but intimidatingly so in your own right. Makes her swallow hard, throat bobbing as she watches you unapologetically.

“It’s rude to stare, Violet,” you say simply, eyes finally flitting to meet hers.

Her breath catches in her throat, earthy flecks dancing in your moonlit irises. God, your eyes. Framed by thick lashes and round as you look up at her.

“You know who I am?” she asks stupidly as if point fives of her face aren’t blown up into memes and plastered all over the house.

“Who doesn’t?” you ask, breathing a puff of humorless laughter as you crush the can in your ringed fingers.

And perhaps you got her there, but Vi’s feeling exceptionally small under your gaze despite usually filling out a room. Something about you makes her shrink.

“I— fuck,” Vi stumbles, cheeks red because you’re looking at her with an indecipherable gleam in your gaze that has her squirming. “What’s your name?”

She cringes at herself, rolls the piercing in her nose once, twice, for comfort.

You laugh again, a little more genuine this time because, from a distance, the athlete’s usually so suave, undeniably gorgeous and composed. Right now, the girl in front of you only ticks one of those boxes.

“________,” you offer.

She weighs the name on her tongue, decides she likes it a lot, and tries to shake off whatever this feeling you’re giving her is.

“And you go to school here?” she asks.

You nod once.

“Neuroscience, fourth year.”

“Huh, we’re in similar fields, but I’ve never seen you around,” Vi observes. Because she’s certain she’d bookmark a face like yours, absolutely no doubt about it.

“We had organic chemistry together sophomore year with Dr. Talis,” you say matter-of-factly, like you’re not blowing her mind right now. “And I’m auditing Medarda’s biometry class this semester.”

Vi’s floored.

“Wait, wait, but...” She’s trying to piece the puzzle together, but her brain’s still a little fuzzy, equal parts from the alcohol, but also because she’s caught a whiff of your perfume and you smell so sweet.

“I pop in every once in a while,” you tell her. “But I tutor in that time slot every Tuesday and Thursday, only really go when I don’t have any appointments.”

“Hold on, this is nuts,” Violet says, body easing to face you. You flinch because she doesn’t realize she’s practically yelling. “There’s no way, I definitely would’ve remembered you if that was the case.”

You hum, corners of your lips quirking as you shrug your shoulders.

“Doubt it,” you counter. “I’m nothing particularly spectacular.”

“Nothing particularly spectacular,” Vi repeats under her breath.

And under normal circumstances, she’d be flirting up a storm right now, trying to charm her way into getting you to bite, but this is one of the first semblances of normalcy she’s experienced in a while. No ulterior motives, no exaggerated kindness, no outright asking her to fuck.

Suddenly your phone lights up in your lap and you’re turning your attention to the device.

“DD duties call,” is all you say as you make a move to stand up.

No, this can’t be all she gets from you tonight. Not when she’s been narrowly missing someone like you for the past four years and you’re just now coming to light.

The dormant liquid courage bubbles and Vi’s gently grabbing your wrist to pull you to a stop.

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” she asks, steely eyes liquid as she stares up at you.

You eye the scar on her lip, gaze lingering there before flitting to meet hers.

“Maybe.”

Vi decides that she needs to see you again.

You’d left her with crumbs this past Friday night and she’d spent the better part of the weekend trying (and failing) to cross paths with you again.

“Jesus, you’re down bad,” Ellie chuffs Monday morning on their walk to the campus coffee shop.

“You don’t understand,” Vi defends. “She’s so...so...”

“So?”

“Different, I dunno,” Vi sighs, fiddling with the strap of her backpack as they walk. “We didn’t even talk about much, but that was the most normal I’ve felt around someone in a while.”

Her teammate snorts.

“Probably the gayest thing I’ve heard you say,” Ellie deadpans. “She isn’t immediately trying to munch and you’re already in love. Pathetic.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Vi scoffs as they approach the coffee shop, inside packed full with half-functioning college students so early in the morning. “Trust me, if you met her, you’d—”

The words die in her throat because halle-fucking-lujah, the universe or god, or whatever has answered her every prayer this past weekend as she clocks you a few paces ahead in line.

Ellie follows her friend’s line of vision to find exactly what she’s staring at and she lets out a low whistle when her gaze finds your frame.

From a completely aesthetic standpoint, she can see why Vi’s immediately hooked.

“Hah,” she makes a noise in her throat. “Okay, so maybe it makes sense.”

Vi can’t help but stare because, if it were possible, you were far prettier under the warm lighting of the cafe’s ambiance. The curls of your hair frame your face beautifully and it’s so fucking cute how focused you are on your phone.

“Hate to break it to you, though. That girl’s way out of your league,” Ellie says like it’s common knowledge.

“Wow, way to boost my ego,” Vi mutters drily.

“Just being realistic,” Ellie argues. “If you bag her, she’s easily the hottest girl you’ve been with.”

And Vi can’t really contest that, not when the proof’s in the fucking pudding.

Her body’s moving of its own accord and before she can register her own actions, she’s mumbling quiet s’cuse me’s under her breath as she squeezes between patrons to close a bruised hand over your shoulder.

You nearly jump out of your skin, fumbling with your phone as an earbud falls out.

“Shit, sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Vi says quickly.

Your gaze snaps to her, brows furrowing almost imperceptibly before your expression settles.

“Violet,” you acknowledge.

And she realizes that she didn’t really have a game plan coming up to you so abruptly. Had been so focused on actually just seeing you again, that she hadn’t thought through the rest of it.

The way you stare up at her is thoroughly disarming because she doesn’t have the shield of night or alcoholic courage to carry her through it.

“Can I help you?” you ask, but not unkindly.

“Oh, uh, I...” She chances a glance over her shoulder to find that Ellie is watching her from a few customers away, eyebrow cocked and smirk testing. She word vomits before she can think of a coherent thought. “You mentioned tutoring...the last time we talked.”

You don’t even bat an eye.

“I did.”

“You’re also auditing Medarda’s biometry class.”

“I am.”

“I’m...I’m not really doing too hot in Medarda’s right now,” Vi says, brain nearly short-circuiting and freezing up because, lie! She’s doing phenomenally in Medarda’s session and, truthfully, she’s just downright scared to ask you to hang out.

Especially when you look up at her like that.

You shift and she’s swallowing down around nothing.

“Hmm, can’t have that, can we?” you hum.

Vi could melt.

“No,” she breathes out a laugh. “Can’t.”

“You can sign up for a slot through the library’s website,” you say after you weigh the thought.

Vi’s pausing, staring at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

“So I can get paid?” you fill in.

“Oh, right,” Vi chokes. “Right.”

You give her a soft smile before plugging your earbud back in, leaving Vi to rejoin her obviously amused friend.

“You’re fucking joking!”

The librarian gives you and your incredulous roommate a look from the circulation desk and you return it with a sheepish smile from where you’re tucked by a wall of looming floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Maddie,” you whisper.

“You’re telling me that The Violet asked you personally to tutor her?” Maddie asks you, leaned over the tabletop with wide eyes.

“Yeah, cornered me at Brew House this morning and asked me to tutor her in Medarda’s class.”

“Just that?” she asks. “Nothing else?”

You look around in disbelief.

“Uh, yeah?” you scoff. “What else would she want?”

“What else would she— are you serious?” Maddie leans back in her seat, arms crossing over her chest as she gives you a plain look. “You know all about Vi, you’re actually gonna play stupid?”

“Oh, come on.” You roll your eyes. “You’ve seen the girls Violet’s fucked, right? Kiramann? The blonde from the tennis team? She’s got a type and you know it.”

It’s Maddie’s turn to roll her eyes and you see the exasperated groan she’s staving off.

“None of that self-deprecating bullshit—”

“It’s not self-deprecating!” you argue. “Not everyone wants to fuck Violet, Maddie. Put me in the number one spot.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t start.”

“All I’m saying is that anyone with eyes can see that Vi’s hot as fuck. That being said, you’re also hot as fuck. Not only that, but rumor has it, she gives the most toe-curling—”

You’re rolling your eyes again, gaze fluttering out the window momentarily only to find that, speak of the devil, Violet’s approaching the library with a skip in her step.

Maddie stops her spiel to trace your gaze and nearly falls out of her seat when she finds the object of your conversation is advancing, fast.

“No fucking way,” you whisper to yourself, pulling up your tutoring log on your tablet to find that, yup, Violet has most-definitely taken your advice and signed up for a tutoring slot.

If the time reads correctly, you’ve got three minutes before she’s due to be taking Maddie’s seat.

Your friend is grinning at you mischievously, stuffing her backpack quickly to vacate the space across from you.

“Un-fucking-believable,” you scoff, slumping back in your seat.

“Tell me how it goes,” she giggles, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she stands.

“Maddie,” you warn.

“Love you, see you at home!”

Violet’s strolling into the library just as Maddie leaves through the other doors and try as you might make yourself small in the open air near the research center, her gaze falls on you as soon as she enters.

“Hey,” she breathes once breaches your vicinity.

“Hi.”

A moment lapses before you’re nodding towards the seat before you.

“We can get started whenever you’re ready.”

Right. Right! Vi’s mentally cringing, pulling the chair out with a squeak and dropping onto the worn cushion.

Her eyes are locked, watching as you pull the biometry textbook from your little messenger bag.

“Any particular areas you’re struggling in?” you ask, flipping to a clean sheet of paper in your notepad and clicking open your pen.

Vi combs her brain, tries to think of anything she’s not really grasping in Medarda’s class, but she’s been acing all the exams with flying colors, so she spits out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Logistic regression, probably,” she answers.

“In relation to...?” You tilt your head and Vi’s breath is hitching.

“The Confusion Matrix,” she answers, even though she knows all about it.

It’s only when you start breaking it down from the bare bones that she realizes that she could listen to you talk for-probably-ever.

You obviously have a great understanding of the subject if the way you deconstruct the relationship between sensitivity and specificity (or whatever the fuck) is anything to go by, and she doesn’t realize that she hasn’t even blinked until you’re glancing up at her.

“Am I making any sense?” you ask softly, taking in the almost confused look on Violet’s face.

“Huh?”

Vi snaps out of it, cheeks coloring pink when she notes the way you straighten in your seat.

“Am I going too fast?”

“No, no!’ Vi practically shouts before chancing an embarrassed gaze around the library to find a few wandering eyes. She clears her throat and tries to relax. “No, you’re doing great. I get it.”

You don’t seem convinced, but the faster you get through the material, the faster Violet can leave and you can finally catch your breath.

Because maybe Maddie’s a little right. That while you know, one hundred percent, without-a-doubt, that you and Violet are cut from two different cloths and that you ultimately won’t mesh, there’s still a sliver of want that settles somewhere confined in the pit of your gut.

You don’t know how long you continue before you notice that sun has begun to set in the horizon, but Vi’s effort is unwavering. She’s probably on her tenth practice problem by now and so far, she’s only flubbed once.

You decide to fold your cards first.

“O-kay,” you say, sucking in a sharp breath as you roll your shoulders and squeeze your hands shut so tight your knuckles crack. “This is a good stopping point, don’t you think?”

No, Vi could keep going forever if it meant hearing you talk all night, but the little G-shock wristwatch winks the time and she realizes that the two of you have been going at it for going on two hours and you’re probably exhausted.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you so long,” Vi says sheepishly. “Thanks a lot for your help, I...”

You look up from where you’re shuffling your papers together, pausing when she hesitates.

“I really appreciate you. I know you probably help dozens of people every week and—”

She stops talking when she sees you crack what seems to be the first genuine smile she could get out of you since Friday.

“It’s my job, Violet,” you tell her. “I’m happy to help.”

And she’d done well enough during the tutoring session, had a successful run with the practice problems. You were confident it was just a one and done. Perhaps served as a review for the upcoming exam Medarda had posted on the class page.

But then you see her name in the final time slot on Thursday, don’t really think much of it until you’re tabbing to next week’s schedule for shits and giggles. Tuesday and Thursday are booked through again, her name highlighted in yellow.

You minimize the calendar and pull up the aggregate schedule only to find that every 4 o’clock slot every Tuesday and Thursday’s been booked until the end of the semester.

You refresh for good measure.

“Oh, you’re so shitting me.”

You don’t know what kind of joke this is, if Violet thinks that this is funny, but you’re not amused.

Especially when you’re stalking all the way to the athletic hall, ignoring the wolfish stares from shameless student athletes to whip into the women’s hockey team’s reserved conditioning space.

You find her benching near the center of the room, Abigail Anderson spotting her while the rest of the team engages in various workouts and exercises.

A hush ripples over the weight room as you approach the hockey star, standing at the end of the bench where her knees are bent. One of Abigail Anderson’s eyebrows quirk up as you stand there with your hands on your hips and you hope the chill that runs down your spine as she checks you out doesn’t visibly vibrate your body.

When the barbell nearly crushes Vi’s chest on her last rep, Abby’s quick to help her re-rack and takes the biggest step back as Vi sits up.

Her expression falls and her face pales when she locks eyes with you, your features severe and gaze stony.

“Oh, hey,” she squeaks.

Truthfully, she hadn’t really pinned you as the type to be confrontational. Thought she’d have enough time to build a strong enough story as to why she booked out all of your tutoring sessions when in actuality she panicked when Ellie started grilling the fuck out of her about being a fucking pussy and begging her to just ask you out.

“You have some explaining to do, Violet.”

And she should definitely be embarrassed, not at all turned on, but she can’t help it as she gulps. Because when you stand before her like this, she can easily admit that she’d die for a private version of the view.

The silence in the weight room is palpable and you want to back down, but if this is some running joke and Vi’s going to make a show of humiliating you in front of her teammates, then you’d give her a show.

“Violet.”

Someone in the back snickers, another whistles, and Vi’s cheeks go red.

She’s standing, sweaty hands closing around your biceps as she spins you around and quickly guides you out of the conditioning room and out of her teammates’ line of ogling sight.

“V—”

“I’m sorry,” Violet splutters. “I’m just not really confident in Medarda’s class right now and I don’t trust myself to study alone, plus you’re a really good tutor and—”

“You do realize that those tutoring sessions are added to your tuition, right?” you ask incredulously. “It’s fifteen dollars an hour.”

Vi’s smile is crooked.

“That’s what my scholarship’s for,” she grins.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit excessive?” you try again. “I feel that before an exam for a little refresh is fair, but this would be like relearning the material after every class, all over again.”

“If it’s taught by you, I’ll take it,” Vi says quickly, and you pause because what does she mean by that?

You don’t really have much rebuttal left even though you’d marched up here with a fire under your ass. Vi’s looking down at you with a softened edge in her gaze and she’s wearing nothing but a pair of black sweatpants and sweat-soaked grey tank that reveals swathes of ink that curls up her arms and disappears under the fabric of her shirt.

She breathes out a small laugh when she notices the way your eyes dance.

“Anymore concerns, cupcake?”

Your gaze snaps to hers and her grin widens when she sees you fidget, little pet name obviously eliciting a semblance of a reaction from you.

“N-No,” you stammer.

“Great, see you tomorrow?“

You swallow.

“Okay,” you agree. “See you tomorrow.”

Violet pops into the library at four on the dot.

Her hair’s wet from an obvious shower and you smell her, warm like honey and cedar as she takes the seat across from you.

“Afternoon, cupcake,” she greets, slinging her backpack into the seat next to her.

You give her a warning look, but she just flashes you a toothy smile and nods towards the opened biometry textbook before you.

“What’s the lesson today, Teach?”

And this feels an awful lot like mocking, but you can’t be sure, not when Vi’s been somewhat respectful, sweet even.

“What do you know about the the sigmoid function?” you probe.

“Jack shit,” she laughs.

And maybe you’d find it endearing if the entirety of the situation wasn’t still absolutely mindfucking you at moment.

“Can I ask you something, Violet?” you ask, leaning back in your seat as you cross your arms to level her with as an intimidating look as you can.

“Sure, anything.”

“Are you messing with me?” you ask. “Is this some joke you and your friends are playing? Because I can’t really think of an outcome that would be funny.”

And you’d like to say that the look of horror on Violet’s face is consolation enough, but you know how being loved and being popular can make people act sometimes.

Vi contemplates telling you the truth, that she’s too chickenshit to ask you out, that getting close to you in any other way scares the fuck out of her. That maybe getting you to tutor her will segue into some form of friendship that’ll allow her to ease her way in. And maybe she’s going about it the hard way, but maybe Vi also likes a challenge.

“No jokes, just bad at statistics,” she says weakly.

You’re silent for way longer than comfort allows before you turn your attention to the textbook and Vi’s letting out a breath she doesn’t realize she’s holding.

“Fine,” you give in. “Let’s talk about sigmoid function and practice some applications...”

Vi’s happy to listen, goes through your preselected practice problems with ease (and maybe fucks up a value or two here and there to really sell her need for you). But the sun’s going down again, and it’s nearing six when Vi folds her hand this time around.

It comes in the form of her stomach grumbling in the emptying library and she looks up at you in embarrassment as you crack the first smile of the evening.

“Hungry?” you ask.

“Starving,” she replies dramatically, leaning so far back in her seat, her knees bump yours under the table.

Your toes curl at the contact, heart skipping when she doesn’t make a move to reposition herself.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asks, eyes looking everywhere but yours.

“Not since breakfast,” you admit.

“You like pizza?”

“Only the good kind,” you challenge.

“Beautiful,” Vi hums, shuffling her papers into her textbook and chucking it back into her bookbag. “I know the best place.”

Valentino’s is a hole-in-the-wall right outside of campus, a short walk from the library that Violet leverages as a way to get to know you outside of being lectured about statistical curves and correlation.

“Did you grow up around here?” Vi asks once the waiter sets two glasses of water down between the two of you.

You shake your head.

“No, grew up on the east coast and decided I needed a break from my life there,” you admit easily.

It’s almost as if the facade of professionalism fades away, melting to reveal you.

Vi’s desperate for more.

“As in?”

You look at her for a moment, wonder if you should divulge because you’re not really sure if Vi would get it, but she watches you like she’s hanging onto every single word you say, so you’re spilling.

“My dad died when I was little, left me and three other siblings with my Mom,” you offer. “And I love my siblings. Love my mom. She’s been a great parent, better than great actually, but most of our family disowned me when I came out and it was easier to run away than to deal with it.”

Violet’s expression falls, a furrow settling deep between her brows.

“Wow, I’m, uh, I’m really sorry to hear that,” she says, and she sounds sincere. A long moment lapses before she’s adding, “for what it’s worth, I think that’s very brave of you.”

And you seem a little surprised at the sentiment.

“Thanks.” You smile. “That’s sweet of you to say.”

Vi could turn to goo in this dimly lit booth, stained-glass wall sconce casting a warm glow over your pretty face.

“You—” She sniffs, changes the subject because she doesn’t know if she can do this on an empty stomach. “You like pineapple on your pizza?”

“Oh yeah,” you confirm proudly. “It’s a hill I’ll die on, I’m not sorry.”

“God, marry me now.”

She doesn’t realize she says it out loud until you’re bursting into a fit of laughter on your side of the booth.

“So this is something we can agree on?” you ask, head tilting in the way that makes Vi want to grab your face and taste you.

“Oh yeah,” she parrots instead. “One hundred percent.”

Valentino’s becomes routine just as much as Vi seeing you at four every Tuesday and Thursday becomes routine. It’s always after the Thursday session (because they have a three dollar slice from 6 to close) that you and Vi cram yourselves in the same booth near the kitchen and giggle over half a Hawaiian pizza.

“...And my little sister blew up her science project in the fourth grade—”

You choke on your bite, eyes wide as Violet recalls Powder’s little mishap that sent the entire gymnasium evacuating despite the tiniest fire.

“Now she’s about graduate and start school for chemical engineering,” she says, obviously proud.

“She seems like a smart girl,” you observe, if the countless stories Violet shares with you is anything to go by.

You figure being related to someone as great as the new friend you’ve made also speaks for itself.

“The smartest,” she agrees. “I’m proud of her.”

“I’m sure she’s proud of you too,” you assure her. “You’re a good big sister.”

And it’s in these moments that Vi realizes that she’s in far, far deeper than she initially gave stock. Because these past few weeks, she realizes that there’s a lot more to your big brain and your pretty face. You’re an attentive listener, way funnier than she could have anticipated, and just a lot more laid back than you let on.

That much she finds out after the two of you graduate from emailing with silly sign-offs to exchanging phone numbers and texting. It starts off rather irregular, a coffee order here and there, maybe a TikTok that Vi swears is funny, you just have to watch it all the way through! But then she starts texting you when she’s bored, when she’s in class, before practice, after. Even pops the question that’s been niggling at her since she met you: on a scale from 1 - 10 how down are you to smoke?

Like cigarettes?

no, weed, dummy.

Oh. Hmm. 7. 10 if I’m drunk.

She could not wipe the smile from her face even if she tried.

And then she gets the invite.

Ellie swears it’s her in.

“Jesus Christ if you even consider me a friend, you’ll bang,” Ellie calls from the couch.

“It’s just tutoring,“ Vi argues.

“Yeah, at her place,” she scoffs. “At least test the waters, maybe cop a feel.”

“You’re a pig,” Vi snorts, making sure her laptop and all of the worksheets Medarda’s assigned over the course of the week is in her backpack.

“You’ve been wet dreaming over this girl for months.”

“Fuck all the way off.” Vi’s face warms because her best friend isn’t necessarily wrong.

You’re too hot for your own good, but you don’t even know it and Vi thinks she could die sometimes. Especially when you wear your favorite pair of jeans, the ones that hug the swell of your ass just right. Or swipe on that shimmery lipgloss she swears makes your mouth look edible.

If you were willing, Vi would be all over you, but thinking about taking advantage of the fact that you trust her enough to invite her into your space feels a little grimy.

“Whatever, bang, don’t bang,” Ellie says nonchalantly. “Blueball yourself for all I care.”

Vi rolls her eyes, slings her bag over her shoulder before sliding on her shoes and leaving her friend on the couch with a resounding click.

You live off-campus, maybe a ten minute drive, in a cozy little complex near the suburbs. Your roommate, Maddie, a chipper blonde with a bob, is all too eager to leave when Vi arrives.

“Hi, sorry we couldn’t meet anywhere else,” you apologize as you let her into your space. “Even if the library wasn’t closed, the vet said I have to monitor Pip for the next 48 hours.”

Vi raises a brow.

“My cat,” you clarify.

“Oh.” Vi doesn’t know why she suddenly feels like she’s intruding as she hesitantly toes off her shoes and follows you down the hall.

But she does take the opportunity to take you in in all your glory; all cozy and cuddly in an oversized sweatshirt, plaid pajama shorts and mismatched egg socks.

Cute. So fucking cute.

You spare her a glance over your shoulder and she’s clearing her throat.

“We don’t have to have a session tonight," she says, stopping at the threshold of the living room. “I would’ve understood if you had to cancel.”

You shake your head, give her a soft smile that has her knees feel like jelly.

“S’okay,” you assure her. “A promise is a promise.”

And you do start off studying, shoulder to shoulder in front of your coffee table, but then Pip crawls from his little hiding spot under the TV console to curiously nose along Vi’s feet and she’s a goner.

“He’s so sweet,” she practically wails as he paws at her thigh and nudges against her arm so that he can climb into her lap.

You warm at the sight, can’t help but snap a picture, much to Violet’s dismay.

“Stop,” she laughs. “That picture can’t see the light of day.”

“Why?” you whine, making a show of climbing onto your wooden coffee table to get a funny top down photo of the hockey star with your cat. “You and Pip look so cute together.”

She feigns a scowl even though her shoulders shake with laughter.

“I have a bad boy image to uphold, sweetheart.”

You snort, reach into her lap to scratch behind Pip’s ear, and her heart melts, body warm from her ears to her toes.

“Is he sick?” she asks cautiously, petting him softly.

“Just a little,” you say. “Something some rest and medicine won’t fix.”

It’s how the two of you end up on the couch, study materials long forgotten as Animal Planet plays in the background. Pip’s moved to lounge atop the covers draped over your lap and you’re blowing your nose into a tissue as an especially sad segment about baby animals being rejected by their mothers finishes.

Vi knows she shouldn’t laugh, but you’re too fucking cute and she can’t help but coo at you.

“You can’t tell anyone about this,” you hiccup.

“What, that you’re a big soft baby?” she teases.

“Vi,” you whimper.

And something in her brain tickles because she can’t recall a time you’d ever called her by her nickname, only ever referred to her as Violet and nothing else.

She resists a smile.

“Okay, okay,” she gives in. “Lets change the subject.”

You make a noise of agreement as you cuddle your sleepy Pip.

“I actually wanted to ask you something,” she says, arm slung over the back of the couch, fingers a hairsbreadth from your figure.

Test the waters, cop a feel.

Vi’s not particularly into the idea, but the opportunity’s right there in the way wisps of your hair falls from its hold. Her fingers move of their own device, tucking the strands behind your ear.

She feels you still for the slightest, most imperceptible of moments, but then you’re relaxing, letting her fingers brush from your ear down to your shoulder, then back to where it rests on the back of the couch.

“You doing anything on Saturday?” she asks, really hopes you’ll say no.

“Not that I know of,” you say without second thought.

Not that you really need to. Your tight circle of friends are all alike, tethered to their hobbies and their homes.

“I have a game on Saturday,” Vi starts, fiddling with a little hole in the cushion. “If you wanted to come.”

You don’t agree or disagree immediately, and Vi’s scrambling to soothe over any potential discomfort.

“You don’t have to if you don’t wanna, of course,” she says quickly. “I just— I thought you might be interested in going and I’d really like to see you there and—”

A small little laugh puffs from your lips.

“Of course I’ll go,” you agree easily.

Vi deflates in relief.

“Great,” she sighs. “Awesome.”

Vi doesn’t know why she invites you. More so, she doesn’t know why she tells her teammates that she’s invited you because now they’re whooping and hollering in the locker room, towel-whipping her and sing-songing that their star player’s gonna get laid.

Doesn’t know why she invites you because as soon as she glides on the ice, she’s searching the stands high and low for your familiar figure. When she clocks you nestled in the middle with your roommate and another friend she vaguely recognizes, her heart’s soaring and her stomach’s twisting in knots.

Vi’s never nervous, but somehow you bring out the worst of it.

It only takes a few moments, though. The blare of the horn snaps her back into her zone and she leaves all the noise off-rink. In this moment, all she knows is cutting ice, dodging the other team’s most aggressive players and sinking shot after shot.

It’s nearing the end of the second period when she finally glances at the score.

5—4.

The opposing team’s giving them a run for their money and this is probably one of the tightest matches they’ve played all season. She takes a moment to find you in the stands again, and you’re right where she left you, eyes already glued to her as you hover over the edge of your seat.

She hadn’t realized it before, but you’ve got her number painted on her face and another surge of warmth layers over the exertion.

You give her a thumbs up and she feels like lightning.

They reset and she’s off, like a streak of light in the night sky, she’s shuffling the puck towards the goal.

Then you see the navy uniform barreling towards her, voice caught in your throat as Vi gives the puck one last shot before that damned Jersey Number Six shoves her so hard, she’s flinging into the rink’s wall.

The horn chugs, signaling the end of the second period and the stands erupt in a ceremonious cheer as the playback reveals that Vi had sunk the puck before time.

“Fuck yeah!” you cry out, shooting to your feet to clap your hands.

Vi ignores the instigating chants to fight, only really pays attention to your little dance of excitement as she shakes off the other player and rejoins her team for intermission.

“Fuck, Vi, you got it bad, huh?” Abigail Anderson’s spearheading the teasing once they all return to the locker room at the end of the game.

Vi’s body heats at the thought, isn’t really in the business of denying it anymore, because, you know what? Yeah. Vi’s got it so fucking bad for you, she doesn’t even know what to do with herself. You’re her first thought, her final prayer, and everything in between.

So all she does he shrug, can’t help the grin that splits her lips as she rubs her towel through her sweat-damp hair.

She’s the first one out of the locker room, dressed in some sweats and a pullover, towel slung around her neck as she steps into the tunnel. Your contact’s pulled up, and she’s ready to fire off a text asking where you want her to meet you, but she stops short to see you already leaned outside of the change room’s doors.

“Hey, cupcake,” she murmurs, smiling hard when she finds the smudged number 5 still chalked on your face.

“Hi, Violet,” you return shyly, hands clasped behind your back.

She hears the telltale whoosh of the locker room doors, the chattering of her teammates as they poke their heads out into the hall to be nosy, but she’s guiding you along, throwing a wink over her shoulder as the two of you fall into step.

“Thank you for coming,” Vi says after a moment. “You being here really meant a lot to me.”

You don’t know if Vi’s always been this sentimental, but just never given the opportunity to showcase it, or if she’s just buttering you up, but you can’t help but beam at her with pearly teeth and dimpled cheeks.

“God, Violet, you were so good!” you say excitedly, a little skip in your step. “You were in the rink, skating circles around them, like this, and like this.”

She bursts into laughter as you start speeding down the tunnel, dodging garbage bins and jumping up into the air to click your heels.

Something falls out of your little fannypack when you land, and Vi’s crouching down to pick up the tulle baggie to find a little beaded bracelet with a gold clasp that reads puck off.

“What’s this?” Vi asks, and you stop your shenanigans to turn your attention to her.

When your expression falters and you’re running back to her at full speed, she’s holding the baggie up just a little too out of reach for you, grin smug.

“Is this for me, sweetheart?” she asks presumptuously, even though her heart’s thrumming hard in her ribcage.

You’re on your tiptoes, chest pressed against hers, and god, please! is all Vi can think when your head tilts up, a little defeated knit between your eyebrows.

She milks the fuck out of whatever this is, arm banding around your waist as she returns the baggie to you.

“Maybe,” you whisper finally.

“Maybe what?” Vi teases.

“Maybe it’s for you,” you respond, free hand coming to rest on her chest.

“And what do I have to do to get it?” she asks, voice low.

It makes your body jolt hard as a shiver slinks down your spine because there she is, the insufferable flirt who knows exactly what to say to have your brain turn to mush.

You seem like you’re contemplating for a moment and Vi’s breath is hitching in her throat, wondering if you’re willing to play this cat and mouse game with her.

You smile, something glinting in your warm eyes.

“Puck off.”

Your giggle is maniacal as you slip away, leaving her temporarily stunned before she chases you down the tunnel. And she should expect your speed, especially because you’ve got legs, but it takes her a moment to catch up with you when her practice bag’s thumping on her back like that. Her calloused fingers are closing around the flesh of your hips in no time and she’s pulling you back into her arms.

“Cough it up, sweetheart,” she huffs.

You whine.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” you counter.

“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”

And you give in because Violet’s made you weak. She’s holding out her wrist as you free the multi-colored bracelet.

You barely clasp the closure in the ring before Violet’s stumbling into you, a big burly girl from the other team shoulder checking the fuck out of her.

“Nice job standing in the middle of the walk way,” she bites.

Violet only snorts a laugh.

“Whatever, good game,” she calls.

Whoever she is, stops, levels Vi with a deadly look before her gaze flits to the bracelet you’ve just fixed around her wrist to you who stands frozen into place as the tension crackles between them.

“Cute,” she observes and your skin prickles. “Let me take her for a spin?”

“Violet,” you warn when her shoulders square and she takes a step forward.

She looks torn between walking away and beating the shit out of whoever this instigator is, but one of her teammates is shoving her along.

“Leave it.”

Whatever that was shatters the moment between the two of you and Vi’s taking in a deep breath as Abby trails behind the two of you.

The girl whistles for good measure and you throw a dirty look over your shoulder.

She winks.

You’ve still yet to find out who hosts these parties, but this time around gives you a weird sense of deja vu as you climb the steps with Maddie in tow.

You and Vi had parted ways at the rink, not before extending you an invite to the celebration later in the evening.

You should come, I can pick you up.

But per usual, DD duties call, and you’d smiled up at her despite the lingering pressure from the prior confrontation and promised her that yes, you’d absolutely be there.

Maddie squeals from the step below as you climb the front porch, breaths coming out in puffs of steam.

“You look so hot,” she says excitedly.

You giggle nervously, sure hope you do because you’re freezing your ass off!

“Yeah?”

Maddie gives you an incredulous look, eyelids powdered with glitter and gaze lined charcoal. She’s looking extra cute tonight too and you know that the two of you could fall into an endless cycle of teasing because a certain someone’s probably inside tonight.

“If she doesn’t fuck you before the night ends, I will,” Maddie teases, and you’re warming unceremoniously at the thought.

Because maybe you’ve been thinking about it a lot more recently despite only going into this trying to get through these tutoring sessions and dipping. Especially as of late now that Vi’s made it a habit to FaceTime you after practice, on your walk to the library, dripping sweat and chest heaving.

You’d always seen the appeal, but now you feel it.

You smooth down your asymmetrical skirt and Maddie steps up to adjust your tits in your lowcut lace blouse just as the door swings open to reveal none other than Violet.

“Oh—” Her voice catches as she takes you in.

Maddie gives your ass a little swat and Vi’s gaze is following the movement as your roommate pushes past her to slip inside.

“I was— I was just about to step out. To, uh, to call you,” she stammers.

You breath out a little laugh.

“Here I am.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Here you are.”

Jesus, fuck Vi could burst into flames right now. Your boots hug your thighs and Violet’s not gonna lie, she really wishes it were her head squeezed between—

“You look...” Hot, so fucking edible, downright fuck— “...really nice.”

You smile, but you can’t help the way your teeth chatters.

“Fuck, shit, you’re probably cold,” she curses, warm hands closing around your shoulders to pull you inside. “Why didn’t you wear a jacket? You’re gonna get sick.”

I wanted you to want me.

“Guess I just forgot,” you say quietly.

She looks like she wants to scold you, but instead, she’s pulling down her coat, a big black work jacket, hanging from the banister of the stairs around your shoulders and you’re relishing the residual warmth that lingers there and her familiar scent.

“Can I get you a cider?” she asks. “It’s still warm.”

It hits you as her fingers curl through yours, that Vi’s truly nothing like what you initially thought. She’s sweet, and she’s respectful, and she’s everything you could ever hope for.

You freeze at the thought, and Vi’s glancing at you when she’s tugged to a stop.

“You okay?” she hums.

Your eyes search her face, gliding over the scar on her lip and the one slit through her eyebrow. The gold hoop pierced through her nose glints under the lowlight and her thick lashes flutter as she looks down at you.

You give her a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes because wow, you’re in deep.

“I’m okay,” you assure her, give her fingers a squeeze for good measure.

When she finally secures you a mug of steaming cider, she’s guiding you to her group of friends that occupy the living room.

You only recognize Ellie, her best friend and her roommate, and Abby, the captain. Everyone else is a jumbled mix of names and faces and you stick close to Vi as she settles into the left corner of the couch.

You make a move to sit on the armrest, legs crossed and hands folded around your mug, but Vi’s spreading her legs and pulling you into her lap before you can effectively protest.

Her warmth immediately engulfs you and it takes every ounce of self control not to curl up into a ball in front of all her friends and classmates.

As they recap the game and catch up with each other, you remain hushed, eyes flitting from person to person as they speak. Toes curling whenever Violet’s voice vibrates in her chest as she talks big about sports and the hot teams this season.

You’re caught off caught when Ellie’s directing a question towards you and you barely register.

“What do you like to do?” she asks you.

All eyes audibly shift to where you’re cozied up in Vi’s lap, cider empty and abandoned on the side table.

“Uh.”

Your words are lodged in your throat because you’re so used to talking Vi’s ear off about your interests (namely, Animal Planet and your son Pip), showing her your little craft projects you like to do in front of the television on a weekend evening (you’d taken a break from the scarf / hat combo you were knitting to finish the bracelet you designed for Vi), and yapping about some obscure film you’d watched while finishing said projects.

But here, now, you don’t know what to say. Not when this isn’t your typical crowd and you don’t know what to expect from her friends.

Vi must feel your hesitation because her digits are slipping into her jacket, fingertips ghosting the small of your back as she presses a palm against your spine to smooth the tension there.

It’s okay, is a silent insinuation.

You give her a look from the corner of your eye before you turn your attention back to Ellie.

“I don’t do much,” you offer honestly. “Just starting my old cat lady duties early, I suppose.”

Ellie laughs benevolently.

“You have a cat?”

“Yes, his name’s Pip, and he’s basically my kid.”

“Cute,” Ellie coos. “You got any pictures?”

And you seem to light up, spare Vi one more glance as you dig in her coat pocket to produce your cellphone, charms jangling as you power it back on to show Ellie the lockscreen.

“I contemplated naming him Toothless from—”

“—How To Train Your Dragon!” Abby fills in from across the couch. “That’s such a good ass movie.”

It warms Vi to the bone, seeing you and her friends nerd out. Seeing them put in the effort because they know she likes you and seeing you reciprocate because, well, you’re you, and you just need a little warming up.

She doesn’t know how long you and her friends chat for until you’re shifting a little and turning your attention back to her.

“Can you show me the bathroom, please?”

Her gaze flits to her circle, and they’re smirking, obviously under the impression that this must be some sort of code the two of you concocted.

She ignores them, and most importantly she ignores the way her pulse jumps when you stand from your seat and perch between her legs, offering both of your neatly manicured hands to her.

This is getting fucking ridiculous.

The bathroom is tucked under the stairs near the front of the house and she stands post outside the door as you finish up.

It’s only when you’re poking your head outside the door sheepishly that she stands up straight.

“Can you help me with my zipper?” you ask timidly.

She puffs a laugh, slips in through the space you crack for her to find you holding the two sides of your skirt together.

And she knows she shouldn’t look, but the space allows her to see the pink lace of your panties. She’s shoving her tongue in her cheek, focusing on lining up the seams and pulling up your zipper as you hold the fabric taut.

“Thanks,” you whisper, looking up to see that Vi’s impossibly close to you in this cramped little powder room.

“Anytime, sweetheart,” she croaks, leaning against the counter as you wash your hands.

She thumbs the hem of your skirt absently.

“I like this,” she admits, gaze trailing up to meet yours. “You look pretty.”

Your ears burn, unable to meet the smolder of her steely eyes. You’d probably find that her pupils are blown wide if you did. Instead, you’re watching her mouth, lips stained cherry and tongue coming out to wet the dry patch.

You hold your breath as you reach across her for the hand towel, but her hands find your hips, teetering into dangerous territory as she moves almost close enough to slip her hands under your skirt.

“You’re not gonna say thank you?” she asks, watching you through hooded eyes.

A nervous giggle bubbles.

“Thanks, Violet,” you murmur.

“‘Course,” she agrees easily. “You gonna wear it again?”

You bite.

“If you ask nicely.”

She licks her lips again, body flexed as you allow her to press you closer. One of your hands splays on the counter behind her, the other brushing over the blooming bruise on her jaw.

“Can I?” she husks.

You don’t need to ask for clarification, not when her nose is nudging yours and your breaths are mingling.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Pl—”

The door rattles with the ferocity of whoever’s knocking on the other side.

“Hurry up in there, I gotta piss!”

To your dismay, the two of you don’t talk about Saturday night. And things’s aren’t particularly bad, but something’s definitely shifted and it’s driving you nuts.

Vi’s on the ice practicing the following morning and after classes on Monday, so you wait for your session with bated breath on Tuesday. You try extra hard despite every voice of reason telling you that you’re reading into it too much.

Vi smiles at you easily as she drops into the seat across from you, pulling out her biometry textbook without so much as a peep about the fact that the two of you almost kissed in whoever the fuck’s bathroom that was over the weekend.

You’re staring, hard.

Because that familiar feeling’s coming back. The seedling of doubt that had rooted in the beginning about Vi’s intentions with you. She’d done a good job of weeding it out over the weeks, of dismantling whatever image you’d built of her in your head, but it plants itself again.

She’s squeezing your hand across the table and your gaze flits down to her rough fingers. That’s when you notice it, the bracelet, still fastened where you clasped it on game night.

You relax a fraction.

“Everything okay?”

You smile, something small.

“Yeah, good,” you assure her.

The rest of your tutoring session is uneventful, goes off without a hitch. And you’re shameless in admitting that you hate to see her go as she walks you to your car in the student lot near the library.

You’re grasping at straws, clearing your throat before she closes your door for you.

“Uh,” you squeak. “Do you want to come over?”

Vi’s pausing, hand still on the edge of your door as her lips twitch.

“Like right now?”

You nod because you’ve already pulled the trigger.

“Like right now,” you confirm.

She checks her wristwatch, sighs heavily because fuck yes, she’d love to come over right now, but Anderson and Williams are expecting her for a strategy meeting with the coach and—

“Sorry,” you say quickly. “You don’t have to, I know we only really—”

She pinches your cheek before tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

“I can’t tonight, sweetheart, I’m sorry,” she says. “But tell you what, if you’re willing to free up your Friday night, I’d really like to plan something.”

Your heartbeat skips.

“All yours,” you say without missing a beat.

Vi’s grinning wide.

“Perfect, drive safe,” she bids. “See you tomorrow.”

And you don’t know why you’re so fucking high strung, not when Vi hasn’t done anything to make you doubt that this isn’t all in your head, but it only gets worse as the days go by.

It doesn’t come to a head until Thursday, when your tutoring slots are miraculously empty until Vi’s and you receive an email from Medarda to meet in her office after her string of lectures.

“Afternoon,” the older woman greets, smiling warmly at you as she lets you into her office. “Just wanted to check in with your audit and request any feedback you have.”

You think for a moment before shaking your head.

“Nothing in particular that I can think of,” you say easily, then add with a laugh, “feel like I’ll be a professional by the end of the semester.”

“Why do you say that?” Medarda chuckles as she logs into her computer.

“I have a student sitting every Tuesday and Thursday for tutoring in your class,” you reveal.

She gives you look crossed between surprise and amusement.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You giggle at the distant memory of Vi’s expression in the weight room. “She seems to be picking it up well enough, though.”

“Huh, every Tuesday and Thursday?” she asks, fingers flying over her keyboard. “I must be doing something wrong.”

“I’d hardly say that,” you say. “When Violet booked all my sessions, I thought it was a joke, but I think she’s just really dedicated to doing well.”

“Violet?” Medarda repeats, hands stilling over her mouse.

“Yeah, Violet, on the women’s hockey team?”

Your professor’s eyebrows twitch.

“Why would you— huh. Weird,” she comments.

“I admit it was a little strange, but—”

“Violet’s a consistent top scorer on the exams,” Medarda shares. “She’s been top of the class since the beginning of the semester.”

And it’s like the world stills as she reveals that information, fragile pieces shattering as the gears start turning in your brain and you try to put the puzzle together.

You glance at the clock, find that you’re due to meet Violet in half an hour.

“Uh, if you’ll excuse me,” you say politely, try to ignore the concerned expression etched on your professor’s face at your sudden departure. “It was nice chatting with you. If I think of anything feedback-wise, I’ll be sure to email you.”

And you’re running.

Vi’s in the locker room after practice, toweling off after an extra long shower because she’s been looking a little extra forward to seeing you today, but perhaps that’s everyday as of late.

She’s hooking the bracelet you gave her back on when her phone vibrates and she’s practically diving into her locker when your text tone bleats.

sweetheart: I have to cancel your session this afternoon. I’m sorry.

Her expression screws up.

everything ok? can i do anything for you?

sweetheart: Personal things to take care of. I’ll see you next week.

I’ll see you next week.

But what about tomorrow? She’d been working so fucking hard on tomorrow, on finally pulling her head far enough out of her ass to ask you to give the two of you a shot.

She sets her phone down, slumps down on the bench as she turns her wrist and takes in the smooth glass beads of the bracelet.

She sighs. Hard.

You hole up all weekend long, put your phone on do not disturb, and try your best to get whatever this is out of your system. But you’re a slave to your emotions and you can’t help but check your messages every time you know Vi’s free.

It’s a single text on a Saturday night, one that surprises you because you know she has practice now that the big game’s fast approaching.

violet <3: hey sweetheart, just checking in. i know you said you had a few personal things going on, but i’m here if you feel like you need someone <3

You’re texting back before your better judgement can stop you.

Just been a little stressed. You wanna come over?

Then you add, We can smoke.

Vi’s sending you three running emojis and you crack a smile at your screen before realizing that you need to shower.

You lay out some clothes beforehand, ultimately settling on last Saturday’s skirt.

Vi’s giggling as you fumble with the wrapper, rolling it with clumsy fingers because, truthfully, you don’t do this often, but she shuts right up when you don’t break eye contact as the tip of your tongue slides across the seam to seal the joint.

She’d picked you up with a Sprite and a slice to split from Valentino’s, throat drying as you bounded down the stairs in the same fucking skirt that had her touching herself after she’d gotten home from the party, guilty and wound tight. Now the two of you are tucked away behind some abandoned strip.

“Ready?” Her voice rasps as you pop the end between your lips and she brings the lighter to ignite the end for you.

It burns as you inhale and Vi’s thighs squeeze together involuntarily. She’d smoked with you twice before, both times on the roof of your apartment building and at a reasonable distance. But now, she knows what your body feels like, almost knows what your lips taste like.

You take a few more puffs before offering it to her and the smoke begins to plume to fill the space of her little coupe. It’s moments like these, tucked away from prying eyes, that it’s just you and Vi.

Not Vi, the supposed womanizing hockey star, or you, the nerdy homebody tutor. Just the two of you, two souls trying to get through university and carve your paths.

“I aced Medarda’s exam this week,” Vi says softly, jay pinched between her fingers as she watches you with lowering eyes.

“Oh, yeah? I wonder why,” you quip in return, face impossibly close to hers despite the console between you.

“I have a smartypants tutor that does an especially good job when she’s motivated,” she answers.

Your cheeks flame, but you don’t back down. Vi’s been extra good at pushing your buttons and flirting hard as of late, and maybe you’re a little more than willing to receive and reciprocate, but the two of you have been toeing the line, yet neither of you have taken the leap.

This moment, however, feels like it could be it. Like you’re going to find out what the fuck all of this even is.

“I have to meet this tutor of yours,” you play along. “She sounds like a miracle worker.”

“Among other things,” Vi teases, sucking in the smoke and blowing it through her nostrils.

“Like?”

“She’s also funny as fuck,” she hums. “A big baby when we watch Animal Planet.”

You narrow your eyes at her and Vi lets out a little laugh that makes your toes curl.

“Uh-huh?”

“She’s really fucking pretty too,” she says quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she affirms. “Kind of pretty that makes you wanna do bad, bad things.”

You smile falters as a shiver rips down your spine and before you know it, Vi’s putting out the joint before climbing in the cramped backseat of her car to spread her legs.

Doesn’t even give you a moment to process before she’s pulling you on top of her and allowing you to settle comfortably in her lap. Her hands run up your thighs and disappear under your skirt to grab the fat of your ass.

You breathe out a little giggle as your slender fingers come up to cup her jaw.

“Think my tutor’ll be mad at me?” Vi murmurs, nose brushing yours. “‘Cuz I really, really wanna kiss this pretty girl in my lap right now.”

You let out a broken little sigh when her hips buck.

“Maybe she’ll forgive you,” you whisper. “I know I would.”

And that’s all the affirmation Vi needs from you before she’s taking the plunge and slotting her lips with yours; kissing you with so much fervor, you’d think she needs you to breathe. She tastes like mint and weed and you can’t get enough.

Vi’s all-consuming, her kiss a delicious mix of teeth and tongue. And, god, her hands. Rough and calloused, but gentle in the way she explores your body. It isn’t until she’s snapping the band of your thong and her fingertips ghost the seam of your sticky heat that you’re hyper-focusing.

“Mmmph, Violet, Vi—” Your voice cracks as she breaks from your lips to map a series of kisses from your jaw, to the juncture behind your ear, down the column of your neck. “Wait.”

She stops, hands pulling from under your skirt like you’ve burned her. And perhaps you have, branded nearly every part of her because she can’t really think of a sound moment if you’re not there.

“Sorry, sorry,” she shudders as the arousal ebbs through her tightened body. “I—”

I’m caught up. I’m losing it, and it’s all your fault, and—

“Violet,” you swallow, fingers toying with the collar of her varsity sweatshirt. “I have something to say.”

Her throat bobs and her grey eyes gleam like ash in the lowlight of the backseat of her car. The windows are smoked out and it’s exceptionally warm, equal parts sexual tension and another thing Vi can’t quite pinpoint.

“Yeah, anything,” she assures you, hands resting on your waist instead. “You can tell me anything.”

One of your palms settles over her chest, right where her heart is and you suck in a sharp breath.

“I— uh, I really like you, Violet,” you admit quietly. “A lot more than I think I’ve ever liked someone in a long, long time.”

Oh.

Oh. Here it comes, the big fat rejection. The coming to your senses.

“But?”

The look on your face is devastating and Vi’s scared.

“I have to know that if I give you a chance, you won’t abuse it,” you hiccup, and wow, that’s definitely not what she expects you to say, but fuck does it leave a sour taste in her mouth.

“Abuse it?” she repeats, face crumpling.

“Violet,” you sigh.

“Abuse what?” she husks.

“I know you—”

“Do you?” she scoffs, a wave of irritation washing over her as she looks you with disappointment. “What gave you the idea that I would ever even dream of taking advantage of you giving me a chance?”

“You don’t necessarily have a spotless record, Violet,” you say, voice edged. “And I know that I’m not your usual—”

“Not my usual what?” The venom in Vi’s tone is uncharacteristic, but this is not at all how she expected tonight to go and she’s frustrated. “Not my usual type? You internalized all this shit that people say about me even though I’ve been trying to get you to see me for months.”

Emotion clogs your throat because a small part of you knows that Vi’s right. She’s never given you an outright reason to doubt her interest in you, but it all just seems too good to be true.

“Sue me for wanting to protect myself,” you choke, climbing out of her lap and back into the front seat. “Especially because I know that you don’t actually need help in Medarda’s class.”

And that catches Vi off guard. You see as much in the rearview mirror when she pales.

She clambers back into the driver’s seat.

“Who told you that?” she asks, not even bothering to deny the fact.

“I mentioned that I was tutoring you in passing when Medarda asked for feedback on her class,” you respond, crossing your arms over your chest. “She asked why I’d be doing that when you’re top of all her sections.”

Violet’s voice is stuck in her chest.

“And then your past hook ups parade around campus like a reminder that—,” you cut yourself off, obviously hurt after bottling this all up. “And it isn’t any of my business, nor are we anything enough for me to plausibly upset—”

“Yes, I lied,” Vi admits quietly. “But only about one thing.”

Your breath catches.

“You’re right, I don’t need help in Medarda’s class. I lied about being clueless and I signed up for tutoring even though I didn’t need it,” she says.

“Why?”

“You know why,” Vi huffs. “From the moment I met you, I knew.”

It’s a glaring insinuation that makes you crack.

“No one ever says it out loud, but I know what everyone thinks,” you choke. “Violet’s fucking that loser?”

“You really believe that?”

“God, Violet, I don’t know what to fucking believe,” you cry out. “My life’s fucking fine and dandy and then you show up and make me fucking question everything I—”

Vi lets out a humorless laugh, can’t even look at you and it could make you sick.

“You’re so fucking loved by everyone, even those who won’t admit it,” you croak. “And you’re incredible at everything you do, turn everything you touch to gold, and I’m just...”

Vi’s brows furrow.

“You’re what?”

“I’m me,” you whisper meekly. “I’m just me and you’re you, and I just don’t see what makes me so different.”

And Vi realizes that she’d read it all wrong.

“Look at me,” she says softly, fingers tracing your jaw.

You knuckle your tears away, make a petulant noise in your throat.

“You wanna know why I booked all your stupid tutoring sessions?” she huffs. “Because I really fucking like you, ________. And it’s beyond wanting to fuck you even though god knows I’d fucking die if you let me. It’s so much more than having you physically. Because I’ll take being just friends with you if it means having you around. I don’t give a shit about anything else but you.”

It’s the most sound declaration you hear from the girl in the semester you’ve known her and it makes you cry.

“You make me feel so fucking normal and you remind me that I don’t need to be anything else but me,” she breathes. “And I get where you’re coming from, I hear you. I just really hope you hear me too.”

“I do,” you whisper. “I’m just—”

Vi squeezes your thigh, takes your hand in hers and brings your knuckles to her lips.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” she offers gently.

Vi only has one more game before the championships and she won’t lie and say that this limbo with you has her feeling like she’s going to be ill.

You’d cancelled her tutoring sessions this week, told her that maybe the two of you needed to spend some time apart and that she was clearly doing a number on you. So she agrees, tries to give you space to work through what’s weighing on you.

sweetheart: Good luck at your game tonight, Violet. I’m rooting for you.

She really wishes you’d be there, but she knows you need the time alone.

thanks, sweetheart. i appreciate you.

“Alright Vi, we have fifteen til puck drop,” Ellie says carefully, has been front row to everything transpiring between you and her best friend.

Vi tucks her phone away in her backpack, unhooks your bracelet from around her wrist and fastens it to the handle of her bag, and grabs her stick from the rack before she lets her teammates jostle her into the tunnel.

And she wishes she could lock in, clear her head and get into the game, but all she can think about is you.

It’s a narrow victory once the game ends, but she can’t find it in herself to celebrate, especially not at the kickback afterwards because fucking Sev and her assholes are there.

“Where’s your little dime piece?” she taunts.

“Fuck off,” Vi warns, obviously not in the mood.

“Shame,” she whistles. “She looks like a fucking weirdo, but she sure does have a fat ass—”

Ellie’s fist cracks so hard across her jaw.

“She told you to fuck off,” she hisses.

Sev spits the blood in her mouth on the toe of Ellie’s shoe, fists bunching the collar of her sweater.

“Keep that fucking energy on the ice because I’m gonna wipe the floor with your fucking pissbaby team.”

You wake up on Monday morning to a text from Vi and a handful of notifications from Instagram.

violet <3: can i see you this week?

You open Instagram.

sev.94 has requested to follow you! sev.94 has sent you a message request!

Your brows furrow, opening the message request hesitantly. There’s a few DMs and a video from this Sev person.

sev.94 hey pretty, sorry to text you like this. sev.94 just thought you should know the kind of person your little girlfriend is sev.94 sent a video. sev.94 i don’t really do relationships, but i’d take your mind off of it if you let me.

You’re playing the video, quality grainy and audio blasted. You don’t know what you’re looking at at first, it’s dark, and there’s so many voices. But you see skin, see the outline of a girl’s naked back, delicate and arched in pleasure.

You think this Sev person’s just fucking with you, playing some stupid joke with a shitty punchline as someone’s hands snake around to palm the flesh of the unnamed girl’s ass, but then you see it.

The bracelet.

Vi going to lose her shit for two reasons.

(1) Because you haven’t responded to her message despite your read receipts being on, and (2) she can’t fucking find the bracelet you’d gifted to her.

She’s barging into Ellie’s room, shirtless and hair dripping.

“Jesus, fuck, do you knock?” Ellie hisses, buds she was in the midst of grinding scattering across the floor.

“I can’t find the bracelet she gave me,” Vi says quickly.

Ellie’s face scrunches.

“Huh?”

“The bracelet ________ gave to me,” Vi says. “I hooked it on my backpack before practice on Saturday but it’s not there anymore.”

Ellie’s expression morphs, eyes narrowing in thought.

“Maybe you misplaced it,” Ellie offers. “Regardless, we practice tonight, I’ll help you look for it.”

Vi’s chest is tight, doesn’t want to admit that the stupid little bracelet means way more to her than she lets on. She only ever takes it off when she’s on the ice, won’t risk losing it when she’s got a target on her back and everyone plays rough.

It turns out to be futile when they enter the rink and she retraces her steps only to come up empty-handed.

This, she realizes, is the start of a very long week.

You should’ve seen it coming, really. Don’t know why you tried to psyche yourself into thinking that Vi could ever really want something with you when the world’s her fucking oyster and she can have anything she wants.

And you want to feel bad when she texts you intermittently through the days, checking in, offering to meet you, anything. But part of you is angry, unforgiving, tired.

You could’ve gone the rest of the school year unscathed if she’d just left you the fuck alone, but she pried and she tugged and she settled, and she made a home inside of you and you hate that you let her.

xxxx: i really miss you.

You block her number, block her social media, and even though finals are imminent, you now know that Vi’s been playing you for a fool this whole time and you cancel every last one of the sessions she’s booked.

You hope she’d get the message, figure that you’d caught onto her little game and aren’t willing to play anymore, but she doesn’t, that much is clear when you’re finishing up your two thirty session and find her stalking into the library just as the student leaves your table.

“Are we going to talk like adults or are you going to keep acting like—”

You don’t entertain a response, just pack your bag and sling the strap over your shoulder because the tears are bubbling and you don’t trust yourself not to break.

“Seriously?” Vi bites, hot on your heels as you throw all of your weight against the library doors and suck in the icy air.

“Leave me alone, Violet,” you warn.

“No, fuck that,” Vi spits, hand closing around your bicep. “You don’t— You don’t get to make me fall for you and then try to leave with no explanation.”

“Fuck you,” you whisper.

“What?”

“Fuck you, Violet,” you hiccup, yanking your arm from her grasp and putting as much distance as you can between the two of you. “I hope you and your friends got a good laugh out of it.”

Her face is screwing up and if she wasn’t confused before, she’s definitely confused now.

“Listen, I can’t fix something if I don’t know what’s wrong,” Vi argues. “I’m so fucking lost right now.”

You hate how believable she is. How the thought of hurting you seems so inconceivable to her. But that grainy video was clear enough.

“I hate you,” you murmur. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

Your name comes out broken, like you’ve wounded her. But you’ve officially folded your hand, won’t dare look her in her eyes because the both of you know it’s not true.

The championships roll in fast like a tide and neither your or Violet are ready for it.

You hear they’re live streaming the game, it’s the most anticipated one in the season. Piltover Stallions against the Zaun City Tigers. A part of you wishes you could support them, but then you’re starkly reminded that you’re a laughingstock amongst them.

The library on a Friday night is as quiet as can be, the hum of the fluorescents background to the voices in your head that are loud. You’re so engrossed in the study material that you don’t realize someone’s making a beeline for you until they’re knocking on the tabletop.

Ellie Williams stands before you in all her lean glory, hands sunk in her pockets as she stares down at you.

“Aren’t you supposed to be playing?” Your tone is clipped, disinterested because you believed that you and Ellie could be friends once upon a time.

“Coach sat me out because I socked one of those dickhead Zaun City Tigers in the mouth last weekend.”

You humph.

“Listen, we don’t have much time left, so I’m going to make this short and sweet,” she says. “Whatever happened between you and Vi is obviously personal and that typically would have nothing to do with me, but she can’t get her shit together because all she can think of is you.”

“And that’s my problem because...?”

“I know that Vi comes off a certain way, but she’s my best friend, like my best friend in this entire shithole of a world, and she’s—”

“No offense, Ellie,” you cut her off. “But if Vi sent you here to plead her case, I think that’s pathetic and—”

“Okay, well maybe if you shut up for three seconds and let me get to my point—”

You close your textbook and shove it in your backpack before standing to signal the end of the conversation.

“Whatever, I don’t have time for this.”

Ellie watches you walk away, takes in a deep breath because wow, you’re a bitch when you’re mad, but she absolutely gets why Vi is whipped.

“Violet’s in love with you.”

And that statement makes you freeze. Tears cloud your vision as your fists tighten around the strap of your bag.

“If you fuck someone else while you’re in love, I want nothing to do with it,” you bite.

Ellie’s brows shoot up.

“Whoa, what?”

“Violet fucked someone else as soon as things got tough, and if that’s the kind of person she is in love, I’d rather be alone,” you say stiffly.

“Respectfully, there’s no way Vi’s interested in getting pussy from anywhere else with how down bad that bitch is for you, but even if she was, I spend over seventy percent of my day with her and know that all she’s been doing the past two weeks is moping over the fact that you handed her ass to her on a silver platter.”

“There’s a video.”

Ellie’s brows must be mingling with her hairline right about now.

She reaches a palm out.

Show me.

You open the DM from sev.94, watching as Ellie’s expression morphs from morbid curiosity to disbelief, to a quiet rage.

She’s handing your phone back to you and grabbing you by your forearm.

“She’s fucking dead.”

When you enter the rink, the ice is tense.

It’s the middle of the second period and the game is tied 3—3.

Your eyes comb the playing area, can’t find Vi’s jersey number in the mix, but finally settle on her on the bench, shoulders terse and obviously on edge.

She doesn’t clock you yet, had given up on the idea of patching things up with you after your last conversation.

“Vi’s been missing her bracelet since practice on Saturday,” Ellie’d told you on the way there, then pulled out her phone to show you the photo she’d taken of Vi passed out in nothing but her boxers on the couch the night of the last game, fucked up and sad. “We went out for like an hour after the game, but that was it. Vi was too fucking in her head.”

The girl from the tunnel, the one who’d been taunting the two of you, you piece together, has been the one behind it all, stirring the pot.

Throughout the end of the second period and all through intermission, Vi doesn’t notice you, too busy trying to get off the fucking bench to survey the crowd.

It’s only during final puck drop in the third period that their coach finally gives in, smacks the back of her helmet and tells her to make him proud that she lifts her head up.

And there, front and center of the student section is you.

Her eyes are wide, body frozen in place as she tries to figure if you’re just a figment of her imagination, but then the horn’s blaring and she’s having to zone back in.

At this point in time, she doesn’t give a fuck if they win or lose, she just needs to get to you.

“Your little bitch looks cute tonight,” Sevika comments wolfishly. “Bet she tastes as good as she looks.”

Vi easily intercepts her pass, cuts between two players as she shuffles it along with practiced precision. She sends the rubber flying and the goalie narrowly misses block.

“Maybe if you played as good as you ran your mouth, you’d wipe the floor with my pissbaby team you big bitch,” Vi calls, resetting in their corner.

And perhaps you’re her good luck charm, the only thing she needed to see to get back into it, because Vi reignites. The adrenaline pumping through her veins fuels every shot, and soon the timer’s buzzing.

7—5.

The roar is deafening, but you’re all she sees in the ocean of cowbells and pompoms.

She barely inches forward before something arcs through the sky and lands before her feet.

Her bracelet.

You watch from the sidelines, the final confirmation as Vi picks up the loop and launches herself at Sevika.

The crowd cheers.

Fight, fight fight!

You don’t know how many swings Vi gets in, just know that she’s flashing you a bloody smile before she skates off the ice.

Ellie emerges from the locker room and you’re perking up.

Most, if not all, of Vi’s teammates had come and gone and you’d been waiting patiently, anxiously, for her to emerge since the end of the game nearly an hour ago.

“She’s the last one in there,” is all Ellie says before strolling off.

“What if...what if she doesn’t want to see me?” you ask hesitantly.

Ellie chuffs a little laugh, doesn’t bother turning as she calls from halfway down the hall, “Find out for yourself, sweetheart.”

Vi’s pulling a tank top over her head as soon as you enter and your cheeks bloom when you catch a split-second of her tits.

She glances up at you, nose bruising and lip busted.

“Hey,” she spares you, stuffing her uniform and skates into her gym bag.

“Hi,” you squeak.

A pregnant pause as you take her in, hesitant to close the distance between the two of you.

“Didn’t think you’d make it,” she observes.

And you don’t really have a bullshit response, know that you had every intention of staying as far away as humanly possible, so you settle on humming your agreement.

“Ellie told me,” she starts. “Why you lashed out on me.”

You swallow.

“And part of me gets it, I really do,” she continues, “but I also thought you had more faith in me than that.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “Fuck, Violet, I’m so sorry.”

“I told you to free up Friday night a few weeks ago,” she says, shuts her locker door and slumps down on the bench behind her. “I was going to tell you everything, officially ask you out, but then all that shit happened and it caught up to me.”

You take a step forward, and then another, and another until you’re standing in front of her.

“You have to know that I would never do something like to anyone, but especially not to you,” she says softly, taking your hands in hers.

“I know.”

She brushes her lips against your knuckles, pulls you in closer so that you’re standing between her legs.

“You’re right,” she continues, voice hoarse. “I don’t have a spotless track record, but I meant it when I said that I don’t give a shit about anyone else but you. I would give you anything I can if you let me.”

Your hands rest on her shoulders, her chin resting against the plush of your belly as you look down at her, speechless.

“That night, in the car, you said that you didn’t see what made you so different.”

“I don’t,” you admit.

Vi stands, caging you between strong arms as she drops her face into the hollow of your neck. You shiver when you feel her lips press to the skin there.

“We could start off with the obvious.”

One of her hands rests on the small of your back, pulls you flush so that the only things that separate you are the flimsy fabrics of your clothes. The other grabs a handful of your ass.

“I meant it when I said that you’re the kind of pretty that makes me wanna do bad things.”

You gulp, thighs squeezing as her lips part and she bites.

“Vi.”

“You got a giant brain,” she laughs breathily, fingers coming around the fiddle with your belt.

She kisses you, mouth hot and breath warm. It’s better the second time around, no doubt obscuring you from truly indulging.

“Pl—ease.”

“You’re kind and you’re selfless, and you’re my sweet, sweet little crybaby.”

“Violet,” you sigh breathlessly. “Listen to me.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Fuck me,” you pant. “Please.”

Violet nearly runs two red lights and whips into your neighborhood on two wheels.

The two of you are stumbling up the stairs and she’s spanking your ass on the last step as you fiddle with your keys and try to find the right one under the dim light of the complex hall.

Violet’s already unbuckling her belt as you turn the key, nearly taking you down as she shoves you inside and up against the front door.

“Maddie home?” she breathes.

“Out of town,” you answer quickly, kicking off your sneakers and pulling your sweater over your head. “Visiting her family upstate.”

“Perfect,” Vi hums. “I’ve been fantasizing about fucking you on your couch.”

“Oh–”

One of her rough hands comes to cup your tit over your bra, her tongue laving over the other while her free hand makes work of the clasp.

You walk her back to the couch, stand between her knees as she flops back into the seat. Her arms spread over the back as she settles in, legs widening to give you ample room to strip.

Her eyes never leave yours as you easily unclasp your bra and shimmy out of your jeans, leaving you in nothing but a tight pair of little lace panties and pink socks that has Vi wet.

“C’mere,” she rasps, pulling you to straddle her lap.

Her lips immediately latch onto one of your pebbled nipples, tongue hot as her hands wander.

“Fuck.”

“Tell me what you want,” she husks, biting down on the swell of your breast.

And having Violet this close, her touch excruciatingly featherlight and tempting, you wind tight.

“Want you inside of me,” you whimper, fingers fixing around her throat. “Please.”

“Yeah?” she eggs you on, lips brushing yours as her palms settle on your ass. “You want me to fuck you?”

You nod eagerly, hips rolling in her lap as her breath pitches.

“Vi.”

Her nickname puffing from your lips makes her crack. You’re wound in her arms, face in her neck as she peels your thong taut, away from your waiting cunt, and runs her fingertips from your slit down to your clit.

“F...F—uck,” you sigh.

“Holy shit,” she marvels, licking her lips when she easily glides through your folds. “You’re really fucking wet.”

You grind down against her, clothed clit catching against her belt buckle. The cool metal sends a jolt through your pussy and you’re moaning loud in her ear.

And Violet really wants to take her time with you, wants to milk the first time she ever gets to fuck you for as long as she humanly can, but she’s still fully dressed and you’re practically naked, perfect tits pressed to her chest and fat ass in the palm of her hand.

She shifts you further into her, so that she can peek over the arch of your back as she sinks her middle and ring finger three knuckles deep into your needy heat.

“Ah, fuck, Violet.” Your voice breaks as she starts pumping into you, your arousal coating her fingers and the sound of her easily slipping through your pussy reverberating through the living room. “Fuckfuckfuck.”

She kisses your jaw, litters them until she’s catching your lips and licking crudely into your mouth.

You cry out when her fingers slip out.

She’s leaning the both of you forward, easing you from her lap and onto the couch as she takes a moment to shuck her shirt off and pull her belt through the loops in one tug.

You watch her through it all, the way the trim muscles of her biceps and shoulders flex as she leans over you, takes you by the ankles and yanks you until your ass is half-hanging from the edge of the couch.

She kneels before you, strips you out of your thong.

You don’t miss the way she shoves the soiled fabric in her jeans pocket.

“Jesus,” she breathes, gaze fluttering between your eyes and your pussy. “You’re so fucking pretty, sweetheart.”

Your toes curl at the praise, fingers closing around where Vi’s holding your legs apart.

“You know how bad I’ve been wanting to taste your pussy?” she rasps, gathering the lewdest amount of spit to dribble onto your clit. When you don’t answer, she’s freeing a hand to slap your slit.

“Nnngh, fuck!”

“Think I’ve always wanted to have you,” she admits. “But it was that stupid party fucking party and that stupid fucking skirt. God, I would’ve fucked you in that skirt if you let me.”

“Yeah?” you whine breathlessly. “Tell me.”

She’s stuffing you again without warning, curling her fingers in a way that has your back arching off the couch.

“Would’ve bent you over that sink and made you watch yourself while I ate you out,” she says easily.

And it’s so fucking delicious, the nasty shit Vi’s saying to you while she pounds your aching heat; the way she finally gives in and tastes you, sucking on your clit like she’s starved and you’re the only thing that can sate her hunger.

Your fingers curl through her hair as you teeter dangerously over the edge, nails grazing her scalp and tugging when she hits the spot deep inside of you that has you keening for more.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ cum,” you choke. “Holy fuck.”

You feel Vi grin against your pussy, watch her with a slack jaw and half-lidded eyes because the sight of her between your legs in your moonlit living room has your insides twisting hard.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” she encourages you. “Cum all over my fingers. Wanna see you gush.”

“Hah, h—” Your thighs tighten around her head, fingers curled so hard in her hair, she moans in a mix of pleasure and pain. “Don’t stop, Vi, please.”

She moans into your cunt, savoring the heady taste of you as you practically ride her face.

The sound that fills the room is downright filthy, the sight that Vi beholds when she peeks from where she’s devouring you equally so. It’s picturesque, the way she has you writhing. A sheen of perspiration glistens over your flesh as she eats you out and it’s a perfect mix of her tongue and her fingers that send you soaring over the edge.

It’s a pitched whine that echos, the staccato of your shaky breathing that sings like music in her ears as you cum. And hard.

Her lashes flutter against the skin of your inner thighs as she peppers kisses there, her lips slick with spit and arousal.

“Fuck, babe,” she whispers. “That was...”

She can’t really choose a specific word, is just mind blown at the fact that she’d just made you cum so hard and so fast. It makes her tense and tingle, a smug wave of pride washing over her as she starts mouthing a trail from your belly, between the valley of your tits, up your throat, to finally press a chaste one on your lips.

You taste yourself first and foremost, but then you taste everything she’s ever wanted to say to you, all the unspoken words and the things she’d been too scared to share. Feel it in the way her hands are roaming, squeezing, caressing.

You breathe a disbelieving laugh, peck her lips again when she pulls away to brush your hair from your face.

“Vi—” Your breath hitches and your eyes glaze.

“I know, I know.”

You wrap your arms around her shoulders, legs hooking around the narrow of her waist as she bears your weight and picks up your boneless figure.

“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart.”

The sun is warm against your skin when you wake up the following morning, your bedroom bathed in an orange glow.

You feel bone tired, body sore and muscles tight as your arm sweeps the other side of the bed in search of balmy skin, but instead you’re met with cool sheets and swelling dread.

You sit up quickly, find that you’re still naked, and take a moment to asses your bedroom. The bathroom door’s cracked, light off, and everything else is exactly where you left it.

Everything except Vi.

Oh, you think to yourself.

Almost don’t want to leave your room because your empty apartment will be confirmation enough that Vi really did get the last laugh in the end.

But you force yourself out of bed, shrug on an oversized t-shirt before finding the living room just as still as it had been before the two of you had barreled in the night before and she’d left her mark on you.

The only sign that the entire thing wasn’t just a figment of your imagination was Vi’s belt strewn haphazardly on the coffee table.

You feel hollow, almost numb, and even if a persistent part of your brain was consistently telling you that you should’ve known better, the tears well in your eyes because you’d really hoped Violet was different.

You knuckle the tears away angrily, mind racing far too fast to register the door quietly unlocking and the soft footfalls coming down the hall.

“Babe?”

Your gaze snaps up.

Like a vision, Vi’s standing in the doorway, a handful of plastic bags in tow. She’s wearing her clothes from last night and the puffs under her eyes make her a little worse for wear.

She sets the bags down on the eat-in, rounds the couch to take you by the shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” she worries. “What’s going on?”

You hiccup, crumpling in her arms because you were so fucking scared.

“Thought you left,” you croak.

Vi breathes a sigh of relief, blowing out a hollow laugh because her girl’s such a baby.

“You have jack shit in your fridge,” she teases lightly. “How am I supposed to make you a five star breakfast with greek yogurt and carrot sticks?”

You whine.

“Don’t care about breakfast,” your muffled voice sounds from where your face is pressed in her chest. “Just wanted to wake up to you.”

Violet groans.

“You’re so cute,” she laughs, kissing the top of your head.

“I wanna go back to bed,” you mutter petulantly, emotional whiplash making your eyes droop.

“You’re not gonna let me make you breakfast?” Vi picks, smoothing the hair from your face.

Your eyes catch the bracelet refastened around her wrist and you grin softly, taking her fingers to press a kiss to her palm.

She could combust, gaze gooey as she watches you watch her.

Yeah, Vi has a huge problem.

One that’s particular, and overarching; one she doesn’t think she can go without.

And frankly, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

#arcane #arcane fanfic #vi x reader #vi arcane #vi fanfic #vi smut #vi league of legends #wlw #sapphic #arcane x reader

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alittlebitofrainbyyourside · 1 year ago

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#the worst part of this diagnosis is this weird thing floating around in my head #that maybe I am incapable of personal growth #Or that the personal growth I do experience means nothing because the person who did the other things might still live in my head #After all- I'm sure every therapist I've ever had would agree that stopping the trauma thing was Growth.#Look! I wasn't cutting myself open to save other people anymore!#and yet the old man who lives on the mountain still lives in my head #looking back I know it makes logical sense that me at 30 is softer than me as a teen #I was living in a high trauma situation with the threat of violence all around me #and even when things weren't openly violent- it was bubbling.#I think rereading that fic even though it wasn't *about* that- not that part- just sort of reminded me of that #that I spent most of my teen years feeling like I was always one snap decision away from becoming a monster #Or maybe not becoming- maybe I always had been- maybe I always would be #I've been trying to make sense of this diagnosis- I've been trying to think of how to explain it to other people.#Especially since my experience doesn't match the One In The Media #and it's like... I was too traumatized from the ages of 0-6 to ever form a Real Person.#Now all I am is a series of Masks we understand Masks now #we understand how masking works- most people understand that they behave differently at school than home than work #But for most of you- there's a main You under the mask and for me... it didn't get to be made #I'm sure I tried #I'm sure there might be something under there so small and tiny and fragile #I was a child- I was a child- I was a child... children aren't supposed to go through that #and my little brain couldn't handle it #so it didn't. It focused on survival and survival meant Masking #I want to say- I'm not so different than you- the people who mask for other reasons #My Masks they just... yours cover half your face and mine come with a costume.#There seem to be largely two kinds of Masks. The one who my brain needed to form to be functional #Those are the masks that most of you know- the versions of me that most of you know #even if you clock the minute differences between them- their purpose was always largely the same. To Fit Into To Society #To do the Things I needed to do at the time- be it Scouts or Admin work of Childcare.#and then there are Masks that their entire purpose was to take the hit- to survive the pain- to hold the memories of all the pain.

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anundyingfidelity · 4 months ago

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ESCAPADE — Logan Howlett

Summary: For a weekend, you and Logan decide to travel away from the school. Needless to say, you can't keep your hands off each other.

Pairing: Established Logan x female mutant reader. Also teacher!reader at Xavier's school. Set after DoFP ending where everyone is alive because I say so, but can be read however you want lol.

Warnings: pure smut, unprotected p in v, sex at a motel, reverse cowgirl, dirty talk, all the smutty stuff.

Notes: main language is not English, but hope you enjoy this filthy drabble. I need him to rail me so bad, bye.

GEN MASTERLIST!

God, he missed this so fucking much.

Logan groans, hands grabbing tightly your hips as you fuck yourself on top of him. Your ass against his skin every time you lower down to impale on his cock, over and over.

The sight is just completely perfect, holding yourself against his abdomen, back against his chest as he rests by the head of the bed.

And shit, he loves to hear you so damn much. Hear you whimper, moan, and sigh with every thrust he gives up to meet your flesh. He even would love to see your tits bouncing in front of him...

“Fuck, yes!”

That sweet out-loud moan leaving your lips causes him to pick up the pace. Your praise never fails to make him go feral, going rough and faster than before.

“Shit, right there- fuck! Feels so good!” Your pussy walls welcoming his cock, glistening with your arousal every time he almost pulled completely outside your hole.

It was your second day in that same motel room, fucking like animals. This wasn’t the plan at all when you originally left the mansion. Both of you just needed to be away at least for a couple of days to have time for yourselves, far from everything and everyone. You wanted to have an actual trip with nice dates, good food, and see the city, but the short time you two had was enough to just have you there on the bed, round after round. He missed your sweet sounds, that dirty side of you when no one was around. How you’d let him rail you as he pleased.

This is all he wanted. It is all he needs right now. You, on top of him, spread and ready for his cock to fuck your guts all day and night.

“Shit, you’re right there already again?” he grunts, feeling himself squeezed by your cunt.

He knows you’re close. And you just came again a couple of moments ago. Neither of you is counting how many times you already came as he fucked you. You whimper again, biting your lip and scratching his skin with your nails.

“Yeah, you there again,” he chuckles with that raspy voice. Immediately, his hands take you by the back of your knees, accomodating you on his lap. You yelp and stop for a second, letting him guide you again. Logan doesn’t give you a moment to get adjusted to new angle, instead thrusting up and fucking you so good that he knows the whole place is now aware of what is happening inside your room.

“I love how you feel around me,” he bites the shell of your ear as you arch your back, head on his shoulder, feeling a sweet release hitting you. “So fucking warm and wet, always ready for me…”

His voice does things on you and finally, your legs start shaking, pussy throbbing around his still hard cock.

“Shit-shit-oh!”

You try to close your thighs together but he does such a great job on keeping you spread for him, your hands are on his wrists trying to keep him away, but as much as you are a mutant yourself, Logan is too fucking strong even for you. You feel that familiar sting on your belly, crying out loud due to the overstimulation. The sensation is everywhere, taking upon your senses.

“Fucking come around me, baby,” Logan hisses, hips stuttering before finally spilling inside you with a low grunt, filling you up to the brim. His thrusts slow down, just enough to make sure you take his hot seed inside your cunt.

And then, in the aftermath, he leans against your cheek, placing soft kisses and mumbling against your ear as you take it all.“Yeah, that’s it… Such a good girl…”

“That was so good,” you mumble, angling your face so you finally kiss him, slow and wet, until he softens inside you. The feeling of his beard burns your skin deliciously every time you kiss. “Tired already?” you tease with a smirk once your lips are apart.

But he is thrusting into you softly again. You moan but smile back at him.

“Y’know I never grow tired of you, I might have to show you again, sweetheart.”

You clench around him, teasingly.

“With pleasure.”

He grunts in response. If only you had more time...

#logan howlet smut #logan howlett #logan howlett smut #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett imagines #logan howlett fanfiction #logan howlett scenarios #wolverine x reader #wolverine smut #wolverine x female reader #wolverine x reader smut #wolverine imagines #x men smut

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novy2sirius · 5 months ago

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🝮 more core posts: moon core // mercury core

🝮 trigger warning: s3x (only for 18+), venus in 5h men, stalkers/stalking

🝮 take these with a grain of salt since the entire chart matters. this isn’t a super serious post. it’s meant more so for entertainment

🝮 these are random things i’ve noticed these people seem to relate to and specific experiences i’ve seen multiple of them have before

𐚁 venus in the 1h

being told your whole life that you should be a model, being direct when you like someone/not being able to hide it, a main focal point in your life being romance, being a beauty symbol, being weirdly turned on when your crush gets mad at you, loving really passionately, enjoying being alone or just doing things on your own/being independent

𐚁 venus in the 2h

wanting to spend all your money on your bf/gf/theyf/themf, being a gold digger or coincidentally only falling for people that are wealthy, being a talented singer, being a fashion icon, having strong self worth, having good values, being a chronic shopper, being an extremely determined person, dating people who have strong self worth

𐚁 venus in the 3h

being extremely charming, being told you have a “flirty personality”, dating people you met on social media/a dating app, having a pretty/cute voice, having a crush on your neighbors as a kid, people always calling your siblings hot, loving poetry, being the only person you know who actually enjoys school, loving romantic novels, being a good communicator, wanting for there to be fairness in arguments, having a nice car, having a crush on your uber driver

𐚁 venus in the 4h

your mood being dependent on how good you look, not enjoying s3x unless there’s an emotional connection formed between you and the person prior, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, your inner child coming out around your partner, people crushing on your mom, people being jealous of your family, people being jealous of your house, having a baby/childlike voice

𐚁 venus in the 5h

having really pretty hair and being complimented all the time on your hair, weirdly enjoying risk-taking activities, having similar hobbies to your lovers, your child-like spirit coming out around your lover, having flings and then ending up dating them, having beautiful children, being the life of the party, being really creative, BEING A GOD DAMN PLAYER.. sorry the men that have this always fuck me over apologies ✨

𐚁 venus in the 6h

getting the ick from guys/girls/thems easily, being super picky about who you date, one of your dealbreakers in relationships being not showering every day, falling in love with your coworkers, loving animals more than humans, acts of service being your love language, being really good at giving advice, judging others but only to help them improve because you love them

𐚁 venus in the 7h

being conventionally attractive, your best friend fucking your bf/gf/theyf/themf, people always thinking you have a crush on them/someone else when you very obviously don’t, having really pretty hair and being complimented all the time on your hair, enemies acting like they hate you but secretly being in love with you, having jealous partners, being extremely charming

𐚁 venus in the 8h

being told “you’re so shy omg” when you’re literally just existing, people always thinking you have a crush on them/someone else when you very obviously don’t, always falling for the “bad boys/girls/thems”, being stalked by your ex, dating/marrying rich people, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, having a seductive aura, being obsessed with romance

𐚁 venus in the 9h

having a bunch of long distance relationships, having a crush on a bunch of people that live far away from you, finding people outside of your culture more attractive, forming beliefs based on your lovers/crushes opinions, changing your beliefs based on the people you admire, loving astrology, loving spirituality, having a crush on tv characters more than people you actually have met in real life

𐚁 venus in the 10h

being known for your beauty or the people you date, dating/marrying successful people, your career involving things you love or the arts, falling in love with your bosses or coworkers, only crushing on famous people, being admired by the public, everyone having a crush on your dad, leaving behind a beautiful legacy after passing

𐚁 venus in the 11h

having a crush on the weirdest people, not being able to enjoy a show as much unless it has a ship (cute couple) in it, finding people outside of your own race more attractive, people wishing they looked like you, dating your best friend, dating people you met online, having a lot of attractive friends, having a lot of jealous friends, marrying wealth, being a chronic online shopper, being good at social networking

𐚁 venus in the 12h

being able to hide that you have a crush on someone really well, being ghosted after talking to someone for months, having to file a restraining order against your ex, being told “you’re so shy omg” when you’re literally just existing, not being able to enjoy a show as much unless it has a ship (cute couple) in it, finding out that someone had a crush on you for years after they stop having a crush on you because they waited too damn late to tell you, having an addiction to being in love, loving spirituality, having a crush on animated characters on tv more than people you actually know that are human

#astrology #astrology blog #astrology chart #birth chart #astrology community #astro community #venus house core #venus houses #venus #venus astrology

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comicaurora · 5 months ago

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Hey, sorry if you’ve been asked this before, but I have ADHD and I’ve been following your comic for years and just now have started to write my own comic (partially because you really inspired me). But I’m really struggling with staying on the project even when it’s boring and getting myself to work on it in the first place. Do you have any tips on how to keep your brain invested or just to make yourself do the work at all?

I have excellent news, I literally just figured out something really important about this.

So when you're an ADHD kiddo or otherwise have difficulty staying on task in a structured environment where Task is the Priority, the main way people try to MAKE you stay on task is by removing your access to anything that is not The Task. No phone, no TV, no doodling, no going outside, etc. In practice, this just makes us miserable because it takes the boredom that's always simmering around a 2 or 3 and cranks it all the way up to 11. In the same way that you would have difficulty staying on task if you were in physical pain, this crushing existential monotony makes it very difficult to work. The work might get done simply because you have no other options, but it will not be done quickly or well, and it will take a while to recover from how much it hurt.

What I realized earlier this week is I caught myself doing this to myself. I had 42 pages of background colors to do, and I thought to myself "this sounds really tedious, but I suppose I have nothing better I can do." And I realized what I'd just thought, and got very alarmed.

Because back when I was an ADHD kiddo imprisoned by school scheduling and a million little factors that keep children immobile and restrained, I couldn't stop thinking about how big and exciting the world was, and how much I wanted to be anywhere but here. When I was feeling really crushed in I'd pick a random spot on the maps on my wall and just imagine being there instead of my bedroom. This was the impetus behind almost all of my creative energy. I've said it before - anything is a prison if you can't leave, and being in a prison makes it easy to imagine how amazing things could be outside of it. Aurora's initial worldbuilding was forged in the crucible of fifth grade misery. My enthusiasm for art and my creative drive are inextricable from my sense of wonder and yearning for excitement in the real world. Not escapism, but appreciation. Wonders unimaginable are out there, and I gain just as much joy seeking them out as I do conjuring them up in my head and sharing them with all of you.

So now that I'm a grown-up with actual freedom in every way I've been able to get, the idea that I was staying on task by making myself believe the world was small and not worth seeing was extremely alarming. It could keep me on task for an afternoon, but at the cost of slowly extinguishing the thing that made me want to make art in the first place - the hunger to experience and draw inspiration from all the myriad complexities in the world.

So what I've been doing is I've been purposefully and intentionally taking excursions whenever I catch myself thinking "I could take a break but it wouldn't be worth it, it's the same outdoors as always, I'll be uncomfy and unproductive and tired." Because that is never true. Every time I've put down the stylus and gone out, I've been renewed in one way or another, and when I come back to comfort fully recharged I get a lot of shit done. Because it is easier to work on anything if you remember why you wanted to make it in the first place, and it is self-defeating misery to just lock yourself in with it and tell yourself you're a bad person if you can't get it done.

I honestly don't know how widely applicable this is. I have worse wanderlust than anyone I know, so for me this has always been modeled as imprisonment vs freedom. I've also been extremely lucky to find myself in a profession that lets me set my own pace on literally everything I do. But I genuinely believe that when it comes to making art with ADHD, you need to give yourself freedom to move laterally, not just in the direction of obvious forward progress. We don't think linearly in any other part of our lives - art is no different.

#asks #writing stuff #art stuff

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milfgyuu · 9 months ago

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Hot Wheels [M] Pairing: Kim Mingyu x Fem!Reader Tags: 15.9k, 90's AU, Co-Workers to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Smut 18+ Collab: Now That's 90's Summary: There has been something brewing between you and your part-time co-worker (full-time hottie), Kim Mingyu. Endlessly flirting on the clock at Wheelies, making out in the back of the movie theater, rolling around in the sand with a mighty good man...no other 90's dreamboat could ever compare. Warnings: SMUT 18+, MINORS DNI!! mxf (consensual) sex, fingering, low-key breast play, making out (in public), hickey talk, Mingyu is hung (obvs), he's also portrayed as 'taller' than the mc in interactions, mild to moderate language use, gyu's roomies are sloshed at the end (unrelated to smut or main characters), that should cover all the bases...

Fridays at the roller rink are always busy but this is the first official skate-night of Summer Time ‘99 and it’s like opening day all over again. The schools let out just a few hours ago, releasing hoards of teenagers with pent-up energy loose on your small town and there is a line out the door waiting to get into Wheelies to jump-start their next few months of freedom.

Thankfully, the owners prepared and bought a whole new stock of skates so when you inevitably have to help out at the rental counter you’ll have enough to go around without having to argue with some sixteen-year-old about not having their size.

For now, you’re on the floor making sure everything is running smoothly, gliding around in circles with your hands in your pockets. It’s not too packed just yet even though you can see the steady stream of kids filtering through the doors after hitting the ticket booth. Mothers are packing up their little ones knowing it’s time to head out before it picks up pace and the exchange in skaters coming on and off the floor keeps things pretty even for a short while.

As you pass by the DJ booth for the hundredth time this evening, Vernon pauses to make a goofy face at you while he sets up his equipment. He’s probably the one person who enjoys the summer nights the most because he gets to put on light shows and mix tracks to his heart’s content.

After letting the floor empty a bit more, you come to a stop in front of him for a quick break, crossing your arms and resting them over the top of his carpeted booth.

“You gonna play something special for me tonight, Nonnie?”

He rolls his eyes but grins all the same. “You ask me that every night.”

Laying your head on your arms, you look up at him with a pout, “And yet, no romantic song dedications to your favorite Wheelies girl,” you pick your head up and bat your eyes at him, “I’m starting to think you want to break up with me.”

“I promise if I want to end our made-up relationship, I’ll tell you like a real man. Besides,” Vernon laughs and tilts his chin up, looking at something behind you, “I think you’ve been seeing other people. Hotter Wheels if you catch my drift.”

“Heh, I think he hates that name,” you turn, catching sight of Mingyu ducking into the locker rooms to change out and stow his bag, most likely coming straight from hockey practice. Vernon is back to messing with things when you turn, humming, “Lets be real. I only like boys who don’t like me, Nonnie, that’s why you’re the one.”

“What if he’s like you and only goes for girls who don’t want him?”

At that you laugh, preparing to depart as the floor begins to steadily fill again. “Well then, he’ll be lonely forever because I am pretty sure everyone wants him.”

“Including you?”

Very stealthily, you flip him the bird.

Vernon just laughs it off and gets back to work as you skate away, toying with the whistle tied around your neck. You can tell he’s about to get started with his new set when the lights dim and the carpeted walls and floors outside of the polished skate floor start to glow. The little whirls and shapes coming to life with a neon purple hue.

You catch the line piling up at the rental booth but thankfully, it looks like they called in a few extra hands tonight to help there and in concessions which means you get to stay on the floor. Rentals isn’t the worst, that would be birthday party hosting, but you also hate concessions so you don’t put up a fuss when you’re asked to help with skates or in the front on the rare occasion one of the sweet old ladies manning the ticket windows is out.

As more people start piling onto the floor you slow your pace and skate backward for a few feet to check out your surroundings and find teenagers everywhere, loud and wildly unaware of their surroundings. They aren’t too awful this early in the night but you’re sure you’ll have to escort someone off the floor before closing time.

You’ll enjoy your leisurely pace for now and it seems Wonwoo is keen to do the same on the opposite side of the crowd. He weaves in and out of skaters bobbing his head to the music. His glasses are sitting lower on his nose than usual and you’re sure he’s broken them again…or his little brother did and he’s waiting for their exact replacement to come in so he can switch them out without his brother noticing and feeling any more guilty.

He’s only eight but Wonwoo is his very best friend. They come in on Saturdays together, one of Wonwoo’s only days off, and he teaches his brother to skate for an hour or so before he lets him loose in the arcade and they leave with matching ice cream cones in hand. They even have matching shaggy hairstyles. It’s adorable.

In truth, you’re fond of many of your co-workers but Wonwoo is definitely in your top three for that reason alone. You get along really well with any easy-going personality, it's the same with Vernon. They are both just nice, quiet guys and the exact opposite of the giant shadow hanging over your left shoulder.

Although, you suppose you get along just fine with him as well.

“Quit checking Wonwoo out, you’re breaking my heart.”

Even before he opened his mouth, the distinct cologne he always wore told you Mingyu was finally on the floor, ready to chase you around for the rest of the night like it was his full-time job. He spent more time trying to charm your pants off than doing what he was actually hired to do but he is so damn charming that he somehow gets away with it.

Besides, this is just a part-time gig for him. Might as well enjoy himself while he’s at it.

When you don’t answer right away, he decides to show off his stupidly impressive hockey maneuvers and he swings around in front of you, casually skating backward without bothering to look behind him. He’s big enough that people can’t miss him and they tend to move out of his path pretty quickly. Now that he sees your face, he’s smirking because you don’t even have it in you to hide your smile tonight. “Oh, that’s pretty,” he coos, “My heart’s healing already.”

You grab his arm to pull his hand away from his chest and he spins around to skate at your side, eyes briefly scanning the floor until they’re back on you.

“I wasn’t checking him out but believe me… you’re going to be absolutely devastated when Vernon finally admits he’s in love with me. Game over, buddy.”

Mingyu looks wholly unconvinced. “Well, he’s had long enough and you’re going to fall in love with me by the end of the week so…” he pinches his lips together like he’s just delivered the real, honest, awkward truth and you’re battling butterflies in your stomach.

“End of the week, huh? Are we sure?”

He gets distracted by an increase in volume but for only a moment because Wonwoo is already on it and the quick, sharp sound of his whistle means Mingyu’s full attention is on you again. “That’s what I have circled on my calendar,” he shrugs, “Nothing we can do about it now but let it happen.”

Mingyu’s sense of humor and playful nature are the literal nails in your coffin. You can handle hot with no personality…this one is hot with an overabundance of personality.

You look up at him, probably grinning ear to ear, “Bet you have little hearts doodled all over it with a hot pink gel pen, don’t ya, Hot Wheels?”

He grumbles something under his breath and it makes you snicker. Wonwoo started that one and it seemed to spread throughout the building like wildfire. Now, even the ticket ladies call him Hot Wheels though you’re sure they mean it quite literally whereas Wonwoo was actually just busting Mingyu’s balls about a particularly embarrassing tumble he took.

“Purple gel pen, actually,” he turns and pouts as you both bank around the curve again, “Lost my pink one.”

“Could always steal another one from your little sister.”

At that, he scoffs, the corner of his lips pulled up into a half-smile, “She threw a Barbie car at my head the last time I visited,” he doesn’t even sound upset…it’s more proud than anything, “She reminds me of you sometimes.”

When you go to respond, a young boy accidentally skates too close to you and his wheels knock into yours throwing you both off balance. You catch him by the arm, meeting his panic-stricken eyes, and wait to hit the floor but you rock back against a hard chest and thank all your lucky stars Mingyu was there to save you. The older you get, the harder the floor feels.

“I’m so sorry!” The boy exclaims once you’re all steady again, “I’m not good at this! I promise I wasn’t trying to take you out!”

His genuine concern is sweet and you laugh it off. “It’s totally okay and nobody got hurt,” you tell him and he takes a deep breath, “Wanna go around together a few times?”

The boy’s eyes shine and he nods his head rapidly. Mingyu drops back a few paces and you hold out your arm, elbow tucked into your side. “Okay,” you pat your forearm, “Hold on here…there you go…and we’re going to push off at the same time with the same foot. Hey, Gyu,” you call over your shoulder and he comes back up to your side, waiting for your instructions, “Will you skate a little ahead of us so he can watch you?”

“For sure,” Mingyu grins, picking up speed until he’s far enough away to slow his pace again and remain ahead of you.

The kid is a bit wobbly but he’s trying really hard and it makes you smile. You remember when you first learned to skate and how intimidating the rink was though you were around eight and he looks to be around fourteen. There wasn’t a floor full of bigger, faster kids to compete with though so you think maybe you got off easier.

“You’re doing great,” you encourage him, “Watch him go around the curve to get a better idea of how to steer yourself.”

Mingyu banks it beautifully, as usual. It’s surprising to most people that someone his size could skate so fluidly especially after learning that he only started playing hockey in his early teens. It was just something he had a natural talent for and trading out blades for wheels hadn’t altered his ability to move with grace whatsoever.

You work through the turn together, a little less smoothly, but you make it around and he lets out a short laugh. “He makes it look so easy.”

“Yeah, well he’s had lots and lots of practice and likes to show off.”

Your eyes settle on Mingyu again and as if he can sense you watching, he turns over his shoulder and winks which is not solely witnessed by you because the kid chuckles, following through the next curve with more confidence. “Is he your boyfriend? He’s kinda cool.”

The question catches you off guard and you laugh, covering your mouth with your free hand. “Not my boyfriend but yeah…I guess he’s kinda cool.”

He looks up at you…almost mischievously you’d think, if you knew him better. “I think he wants to be your boyfriend,” he snickers, “He keeps looking at you.”

You huff out a laugh, placing your hand over his before swinging you both into a stop out of the way. “I’m starting to think this is all a ruse and he’s paying you to put in a good word.”

The kid laughs and shakes his head, “No, I’m just nosey and a really lousy skater,” he says, looking up at Mingyu who’s come over and stopped next to you, “Thanks a lot for helping me out,” he looks a little sheepish, hand reaching around to scratch the back of his neck, “There is this girl at school I like and she’s a figure skater. She asked me out on a date at the ice rink when she comes back from vacation with her family in two weeks and I said yes even though I’m probably going to make a fool of myself. Figured I should start practicing now and falling on wheels is less intimidating than falling with knives on my feet.”

You laugh softly and Mingyu grins, shaking his head. “I admire your dedication to getting the girl, kid. Listen, I coach a youth hockey league at the ice rink down the road and have a free hour a few days a week that I use to practice myself. I’d be happy to teach you if you want.”

The boy’s eyes light up. “That would be so cool!”

Mingyu chuckles, “Alright, awesome. Are one of your parents here with you? I can go talk to them and give them my information.”

“Yeah! My grandma is sitting over there,” he points to the corner where you both make out an older woman sitting alone with a book in hand, surrounded by way too many boisterous young people.

You meet Mingyu’s eyes and both make a face. “Yikes, okay, let’s go save grandma.”

The boy thanks you again and starts to merge back into the flow of skaters as Mingyu smiles at you, pushing off with a ‘Don’t miss me too much’ and a stupid kissy face.

His grin is wild and gorgeous when you wiggle your fingers and whisper, “Bye, lover boy.”

Vernon is smiling at you when you reach his booth and you hop up onto the small ledge that allows a good look at the floor as a whole while also giving your legs a needed break. He’s playing one is his 80’s to 90’s pop mixes and tweaking the rotating lights that dance over the skaters until they start changing colors, neon polka dots as far as the eye can see.

There is a steady exchange of kids coming on and off the floor. Most of the early group heading into the arcade or bombarding the concessions counter while the later crowd takes their place. In between all that, you catch sight of Mingyu speaking with the boy and his Grandma. You don’t even realize that you’re unabashedly smiling at the scene, thinking about how kind and attentive he is when he’s listening. The way he leans in and pulls back, grinning and laughing.

“Still think you’re not into him?” Vernon says over your shoulder, laughing when you startle.

You purse your lips, eyes wandering back over. “I’m simply admiring his social aptitude,” you flick your eyes back up to Vernon and grin, “Why? Is it making you jealous darling?”

He smirks, “Not yet. Gonna have to try harder.”

“Ugh,” you swoon, hand over your heart, “I love it when you play hard to get.”

Vernon nods his head laughing, “Yeahhhh, I know you do.” Then he notices you’ve got your eye on an issue that needs handling and reaches out to pat the top of your head, “Two more hours and they all have to go home to be someone else’s responsibility. I’ll throw in some of your favorite jams.”

Ten o’clock couldn’t come soon enough but you appreciate his offer and toss out a few songs for consideration though he’s pretty familiar with your tastes. You step back down onto the floor and blow Vernon a kiss when you immediate recognzie the song he’s jumped into…just for you.

“You really are the best. Check on you in a bit, undercover lover.”

He throws up a peace sign and you cut across the floor to ask a couple of kids who were just blowing and popping bubbles to go spit out their gum as it’s clearly stated that it's not allowed on the floor. They don’t love your request and start to argue but Mingyu sneaks up behind you again and dazzles them with a smile. Just like that, the two young girls start giggling and falling all over themselves to do exactly as asked…all because the pretty guy said ‘Please’.

It’s comical, honestly.

Mingyu is smirking when he rolls along beside you, bending at the waist to peek up at your face because it’s aimed at the floor as you try to school your features. He’s so irritatingly flirtatious and you’re too quickly playing into his hand tonight. You’re usually better than this, holding out well until you’re pulling out of the parking lot.

“Oh, yeah,” he intones, “Tonight is definitely the night. You’re giving in. You can’t resist me any longer. It was bound to happen. You’re still smiling! I can see it!”

Laughing, you pull your head up and give him a look that you would have loved to be firm but it’s not in the slightest. How can you be serious when he is so not serious? “Don’t you dare,” you warn with a loose laugh tacked on at the end, “I told you, we’re not going on a date.”

Mingyu shrugs, “So, movies tomorrow night?”

“Don’t you work tomorrow?”

He bats his eyes with a saccharine smile, “I love that you know my schedule by heart,” he ignores your eye roll, “Wonu’s covering my shift since he owed me one and also because he’s a true romantic. He’s rooting for us and we can’t disappoint him.”

“Well, I suppose if it’s what Wonwoo wants…” you look up at him, eyes glittering with excitement, “When are you picking me up?”

For as calm and cool as Mingyu keeps it on the outside, he’s buzzing on the inside because he’s been toying around with the idea of taking you out forever. And he’s asked…more than once…but you’ve kept him on his toes and he’s enjoyed the playing the game but he’s elated that you’re finally saying yes.

He tries to school is face but he’s still beaming as he tries to casually say, “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“Seven?” you snicker, “Isn’t that a little late to get started? You keeping me out all night?”

He just shrugs, grinning. “Maybe.”

Mingyu shows up nearly twenty minutes early and you can see his car outside your condo. He doesn’t make a move to get out and it’s amusing to watch as he nervously drums his fingers on the steering wheel for a few beats before reaching for the door like he’s going to get out, and then shaking his head before resuming the fidgeting. It’s also a relief to know he’s feeling the same jitters you are.

The thought crossed your mind to pop your head out to wave him inside but he might be giving himself a pep-talk and you’re still contemplating your outfit.

The movie theater is always so cold. You debated the pros and cons of wearing something short-sleeved because on one hand, if you’re cold it might prompt your date to keep you warm but on the other hand, if he didn’t, you’d be freezing the whole time.

You could bring a jacket, but that’s an extra thing to carry.

Digging through your closet, you pull out a fuzzy black long-sleeved sweater. You hold it out, admiring the way it’s cropped a little shorter in the front, and then turn back to the mirror, holding it up to your chest. It would look cute with the Levi’s you’re wearing…decisions, decisions.

A car horn beeps and you peer out of your window seeing Mingyu rigid behind the wheel. You laugh, thinking he probably did not mean to do it and is embarrassed at having accidentally made too much noise. That’s pretty obvious by the way he’s looking around, paranoid and frustrated. It’s actually super cute and you’re lingering by the window now just admiring him from afar without care

Until you see Mingyu cut the engine and get out of the car. Then the panic sets in because you’re still not ready and well…it’s the first time he’s seeing you outside of work and not in uniform. You want him to be wowed and are probably still taking too long to get moving considering how brisk of a stride you know his to be. He’ll be here any second.

You scramble to pull on the sweater in your hands and run into the bathroom to grab your gold hoops, fix your hair, and check your makeup one last time. Your heart is racing but you smile at your reflection. He sees you all the time at work looking not even half as done-up as you are right now and thinks you’re a solid 10, so there isn’t really any doubt he’ll be pleased. Then the doorbell rings.

A few deep breaths to calm your nerves comes first. When you open the door, Mingyu’s mouth is fixed like he had a line locked and loaded but when he sees you, he chokes on the words. He’s so flustered that he stumbles back a step, laughing at himself. “Oh, you’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”

That lights you up from the inside out and brings your confidence back around full circle.

“Have I ever made things easy for you?” you snicker, grabbing your purse off the hook by the door, “I think you like a challenge.”

“Nah, I just like you,” he smirks, tongue poking the end of his pointed canine as he watches you close and lock the door, trying his hardest to be respectful, “You look really good. Have I said that yet?”

Stashing your keys in your purse, you turn and grin up at him. “You alluded to it but I wouldn’t mind hearing you say it out loud.”

Always playing and teasing and flirting. It’s almost too much for you both to bear at this point.

“I’ll tell you as many times as you want,” he says softly but he reaches toward you, slipping his hand just behind your hip to pull you closer with a bold, sharp tug. Startled, you bump right into Mingyu’s chest and look up at him with wide eyes. He doesn’t say anything for a minute and then tilts his head back, sighing into the sky above. He’s mostly amused when he looks back at you.

“You look incredible…and we should get in the car before I ruin the illusion of me being a gentleman.”

“That image has been splintering for a while but I don’t think I’ll mind if a manner or two slips,” you tease as you pull apart, taking the time to look him up and down…

Light-washed jeans, crisp white t-shirt, open flannel hanging off his broad shoulders…”You look really good too,” you murmur in appreciation.

He’s about to sweating straight through his shirt if you keep looking at him like that.

“...yep…time to go,” he mumbles, pinching is lips together as he grabs your hand. He pulls you toward the parking lot which isn’t far, and opens the door for you to slip into his passenger seat. He doesn’t let go until you’re settled and takes it a touch further when he reaches in and grabs the seatbelt before you. His hand purposely grazes against the exposed skin between your pants and top as he buckles you in and you let out the breath you were holding the second he closes your door.

It’s getting more difficult to play hard-to-get by the millisecond but you’re willing to give in first if your reward is Mingyu breaking down bit by bit right in front of you.

You bite your lip to keep from giggling when he quickly rounds the car and settles into his seat next to you. He’s still shaking his head, quietly laughing at himself for getting so easily worked up. He turns over the engine, shifting into drive, and peers over at you with an air of disbelief.

“I’m starting to think we’re gonna have to sit in separate rows at this rate.”

Thankfully, the tension melts into easy banter and conversation on the ride to the theater. Mingyu entertains you with stories about his family and asks after yours, specifically your beloved niece whom he loves hearing about. He lets you toy around with his radio and blare some Spice Girls song that neither of you sings along to with the correct pitch…or words. It’s a blast either way.

Bold flirtation aside, Mingyu has always been a gentleman where it counts.

When you arrive at the movie theater, he opens all the doors, holds your hand every chance he gets, pays for your tickets and snacks despite your protesting, and lets you choose where to sit. The theater isn’t very full, though the movie you both decided on has been out for a while so it’s not all that surprising to see so many open seats. There are a few people scattered here and there and you don’t particularly love sitting next to others if you can avoid it.

That leaves the very front or the very back.

You glance over your shoulder at Mingyu, patiently waiting for you to decide, “You really don’t care?”

He shakes his head again with a soft smile and you sigh looking back at the open seats, “I don’t like being super close…are you okay with sitting up top?”

Mingyu’s eyes scan the very empty top rows and widen like he hadn’t actually realized how secluded they were until just now. “Totally cool,” he manages after a moment, “Lead the way.”

“Oh boy,” you whisper to yourself, turning to make your way up the stairs. You have to focus ahead and calculate the distance of each step so you don’t screw up and trip because that would be awfully embarassing. It’s dark, cold, and quiet, and there is a huge gap between the section you’re headed toward and the next closest couple sitting in the middle.

The very last row was almost too intimidating as if it somehow was the designated spot reserved for horny, depraved teenagers, and you were mid-twenty adults…so you stopped once you hit the second to last row and cut in a few seats before deciding that sitting in the middle was also weird so you dropped into the fourth seat from the aisle and forced yourself to stay put.

PIcking a seat and sticking with it has never been so daunting before.

Mingyu doesn’t say anything at all about your choice, much to your relief. If he cracked a joke about it, you think you might just burst at the seams. He just sits down in the seat next to you folding his very large frame into the too-tight space between the armrests. You’re both quiet as the lights dim and the previews start rolling but you can still feel him wiggling and adjusting himself next to you.

Your eyes meet when he accidentally bumps your arm and you smile at the fact that he is genuinely embarrassed, for no reason at all other than unintentionally taking up extra space. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, “I don’t remember the seats feeling this cramped.”

“It’s really okay,” you turn, tucking his elbow safely into his side as you lift the armrest between you to give him more room, “We can share.”

“Are you sure?” his eyes seek yours again in the darkness, “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

You quietly snicker at his worry when he was the one being so brazen with your proximity earlier. At the same time, you can appreciate his consideration and reassure him with a gentle smile. “I really don’t mind…the extra body heat is appreciated.”

You can feel the moment Mingyu lets the tension flow out of his body. His shoulders relax until your arms touch lightly, his legs spread a little further apart as he sinks into his seat, firm thigh now pressed to the outside of your own. He’s warm and his cologne, as usual, is so rich and alluring that you know you’re going to be fighting the urge to mold yourself to his side for the next hour and a half.

Surprisingly, the movie isn’t half bad even though it was one you chose because every other film out was either super sad or overtly romantic and neither genre felt like a good fit for a first date. ‘Black Mask’ had a decent balance of action scenes and suspense that pretty easily kept your eyes on the screen, at least for a little while, sharing sour gummy worms and a soda between the two of you.

Your attention began to wane after the third time you bumped hands with Mingyu and it was lost entirely when he decided to simply hold your hand instead. Movie plot gone in an instant.

Instead of the screen, your eyes fall to your joined hands resting in his lap. They climb up to his chest, slowly rising and falling with each measured breath. Carefully, you let them slide higher, admiring the shadows projected over his throat and jaw. Higher to admire his handsome face. Higher again, just to get a little more of him, and when you get there, you find him staring back.

Neither of you shy away this time. Mingyu nervously licks his lips and his eyes flit down to yours, only for a second, just to reassure himself that you’re both on the same wavelength even though the chemistry between you has always been pretty clear. He still hesitates before he leans closer but you’re done waiting and choose to kiss him first.

It’s soft, brief, and when you part, you can see the smile on his handsome face and it brings the butterflies in your stomach back to life all over again. He cups your cheek and pulls you back into another kiss, and then another, and another. A million times you’d thought about kissing Mingyu and this was still far better than any you’d imagined thus far.

Actually kissing him highlights the small details you were missing. The bits of it that are unique and a part of him only. It’s the way his thumb strokes against your cheek, how he tilts his face and changes his angle so fluidly that you follow him like it’s completely natural, the tender way he’s slow to let go of your bottom lip and how he kisses it afterward.

It’s certainly not your first kiss or even the first time you’ve made out with someone at the movies, but this feels entirely new. Mingyu is not some hopped up, horny kid. He takes his time with you, he’s gentle, patient. It’s not sloppy or rushed. He isn’t trying to clumsily cop a feel the whole time, though, you think you’d probably let him and that he wouldn’t fumble around at all. It feels like he knows exactly what he’s doing, even if he doesn’t.

You hope that you feel natural to him too.

He pulls back with a slow hum of appreciation and that’s good enough for you.. When your eyes meet, you’re both smiling, and Mingyu takes that as his good sign. He wraps his arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side until he feels your body relax against his and you finish the movie just like that.

Well, you’re both looking at the screen but you’re more focused on the way he continues to kiss your hair every few minutes and he’s locked on to the feeling of your nails gently drawing a line up and down his thigh.

Eventually, the lights come on and you’re a little slow to untangle as the rest of the theater clears out. It’s entirely empty by the time either of you hit the stairs.

“Soooo,” Mingyu hums, trailing behind you half a step, “Thoughts…opinions…? On the movie, of course.”

You laugh without turning around and nod your head, “Right…the movie, yeah. Just as the trailer promised,” you focus on your feet moving a step at a time and not tripping, “Perfectly executed action sequences.”

He grins to himself, tucking his chin into his chest. “I’m glad it lived up to all the hype,” he balances his weight on one foot before taking the next step, “Nothing worse than all that anticipation ending in disappointment.”

You peer over your shoulder at him, smiling coyly, “Oh, no disappointment here. I’m sure i’ll be thinking about it for quite some time.”

He huffs out a laugh, “Are we talking about the movie or the kiss?”

“What kiss?” you smirk, quickly turning around to hurry down the rest of the steps but he’s right behind you the whole way.

Just as you whip around the corner and into the dim hallway that leads to the exit, Mingyu catches you around the waist and pins you up against the wall. You can feel his heart thudding under your palms, the thrill of excitement hardly contained in his chest as his lips crash into yours.

Disappointment is so very far from your realm of feeling at the moment. Any expectation you had, which admittedly was already pretty high, was shattered and elevated yet another level each time his tongue danced across the seam of your lips or when his hands made another pass over your body.

From the beginning, you theorized that Mingyu was more than just a smooth talker. You had him pegged as a man with follow-through and you’re simply rolling in it, knowing you were right, and now you’re experiencing it for yourself which makes things that much more gratifying.

Mingyu was a certified lover boy. Called and confirmed it.

The very best part, you think to yourself as you feel him grin against your lips, is that he’s yours…or at least, he wants to be. You don’t have to let him know he’s already won.

He’s still smiling when you slide your hands over his arms, pointedly squeezing the ample muscle there, and he finishes you off with a few final, fluttering kisses.

When your eyes meet, there is a buzz of nervous laughter and Mingyu again asks, “So, the movie or the kiss?”

Your gaze drifts back down to his mouth and your stomach twists torturously when his knowing smirk reveals a prettily pointed canine. The same that’s bitten into your bottom lip a few times already this evening. You look back up and narrow your eyes playfully, “I don’t recall any kissi-”

He leans back down, slotting his lips against yours and the second he so much as breathes the door at the end of the hall clicks open and you hear two voices, likely the staff coming to clean the theater, and here you two delinquints are still splattered against the wall playing tonsil hockey.

Mingyu freezes and your eyes are wide as saucers. “Go, go around the other way!”

You have to slip out from under his frame and drag him a few feet before his mind catches up and you’re both scrambling back across the theater to the exit on the opposite side. As quietly as you can, you peek out of the small window to make sure the coast is clear and pop the door open for you both to come tumbling out.

The wide corridor outside the theater is mercifully empty but the adrenaline in your bodies’ leaves you jogging toward the side exit, laughter bubbling up and out into the open space around you. It’s all so silly and exhilarating, and when Mingyu grabs your hand, pulling you through the doors out into that warm summer air, you’re sure you can’t remember the last time you’ve felt so…alive.

Or maybe there is just something about the moon and stars, and the way their enchanting glow seems to make everything in their wake just a little more beautiful. He’s one of those things - bright, beautiful, feathered and soft around the edges.

You’ve stopped to catch your breath but it remains trapped in your chest the longer you look at him. It’s suddenly a little heavy, this crush of yours, weighed down by impression of his hands on your hips, your face, the small of your back. Flirting and teasing was easy. Agreeing to finally go out with him was easy. Realizing the potential for more was real and standing in front of you was a shock to your system because you’re uncovering very quickly how much you want that with him.

“We should definitely go to dairy queen.”

It takes a minute to process his words and then with a little shake, you lift your head to find Mingyu smiling back down at you. “Feels like the movie might have left you with a lot to think about and nothing helps me sort through my head quite like ice cream.”

You cock your head to the side, the tension in your chest evaporating just like that.

“Have you always this charming?”

“When I put in the extra effort, which is only for you, sure,” he chuckles, using your joined hands to pull you a little closer as you walk alongside eachother through the parking lot, “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea though.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” you scoff, bumping into his arm with your shoulder, “Everyone loves you. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes.”

His tongue pokes into his cheek, rolling his eyes skyward, “You missed the guy I had to escort out of the rink a couple weeks ago who took a few swings at me in the parking lot. Pretty sure he was not enthralled by my dazzling smile and strapping good looks.”

“One person…that’s all you got?”

Reaching his car, Mingyu opens the passenger door for you and waits until you’re seated and looking up at him expectantly. He licks his lips and smirks, “Buckle up, you’re in for a ride.”

After grabbing ice cream, you decided making your date drive over to the shore was favorable to sitting on the sticky red tables outside the DQ, so instead, you’re sitting side by side on a small gym towel he miraculously had in his trunk, eating your deserts and swapping stories to the tune of the gentle waves crashing ashore.

So far, you’ve learned that the sole reason Mingyu got into hockey in the first place was because he was in constant trouble as a kid…in school, at home, or literally anywhere else he happened to be. His poor mother tried to put him in every sport and hobby she could think of to keep him busy and out of trouble but baseball wasn’t a fit, basketball ended in another fist fight and suspension, football benched a few and landed one kid in the hospital, and any form of martial arts was out of the question.

Finally, she found an ad in the newspaper for boy’s hockey team tryouts and the rest was history. You can clearly hear the admiration in his voice when he spoke about his original coach and his teammates. How it was touch and go from the start but no matter how much hot water he found himself in, they wouldn’t quit on him. When he realized that, he started pouring all of his pent up energy into the game and it changed him in all the best ways. It’s the whole reason he coaches today…to be someone who can make a positive change in a kid’s life the way his coach did for him.

Honestly, it’s hard to imagine Mingyu as anything other than the kind, gentle, playful guy you know him to be but everyone grows and changes. He still has a wild sort of glint in his eyes at times that lead you to believe every word he’s said about his younger years.

The sea breeze is crisp and almost a little chilly despite the warm air it mixes with so you push a little closer into Mingyu’s side and he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Cold?”

“A bit,” you roll your head toward him, resting it against the crook of his shoulder, “Kinda just wanted to be close to you again…despite your delinquent past, I think I like you a little.”

“A little?” he smirks, eyes darting to your mouth briefly, “I think you like me a lot.”

Scrunching your nose, you make a face at him and he tosses his head back and laughs.

“If you don’t admit it soon I’m going to have to make a huge, probably embarrassing, for you, romantic gesture,” he counters, looking very half-serious, “A big old fashioned declaration of love…in public…loudly.”

“You’re still a little shit, aren’t you?”

“Don’t pretend you aren’t loving the reformed bad boy thing.” He’s spot on because Mingyu is the exact kind of guy you would have had a crush on back then too.

You let out a long sigh and pick your head up, leaning to the side to bury your now-empty cup in the sand so it doesn’t blow away just like Mingyu had on his side. In the process, Mingyu slips his arm a little lower on your back, his hand curled around your hip to keep you balanced. You love every single point of contact so you fall right back into his side when you sit up again.

“To be fair, I think you’re only partly reformed,” more smirking, “Mhm, that’s exactly what I mean,” you hum in amusement, “Listen, I’ll give in…just a little…and admit that there are a lot of things I love about you..”

“I’m listening,” he purrs, ready for the boost in confidence you’re surely about to give him. Anything that could even vaguely resemble a compliment would send him over the moon coming from you.

“I love the way…you genuinely enjoy helping people,” you start quietly, soothing the subtle nerves beginning to tingle in your fingertips, “I love that you put so much time and effort into coaching your kids and how much you love talking about them…how you’ll roll your eyes and shake your head telling me stories about them and yet you always finish with a smile because ‘they’re a handful but they’re good kids’”

Mingyu snorts softly and you knowingly ask, “There’s lots of little Mingyu’s on your team, aren’t there?”

He nods slowly, pushing the tip of his tongue against his teeth. “Ohhh yeahhh,” he breathes out with a light chuckle, “I understand now why my coach made me run drills until I dropped. I’ve got a couple that have already outshined my reputation at their age and some days it’s a battle of wills but they’ve come along way,” he ducks his head, grinning, “Hoping they’re the extent of my karma and it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass when I have kids one day.”

He makes a face right after he says it and looks down at you almost apologetically, “Was that weird to say on a first date? I feel like that’s something you’re supposed to avoid but you’re easy to talk to and words just fall out of my mouth sometimes.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” you laugh, quirking an eyebrow at him, “I know it’s a first date but we’re not strangers, besides, I’ve always just assumed you were a family kind of guy. You talk about yours all the time, super close with your little sister, and from all i’ve witnessed, you’re just kinda great with kids in general,” you shrug, easing his worry, “I promise, it’s not a shock to me that you’d want your own and I’ll save you the torture of wondering whether to ask or not…yes, I’d like to have kids someday. Someday farrrrr away in the future.”

“Oh, good,” he chuckles, “Me too...lightyears away.”

It’s not on either of your radars currently but it’s nice to know that you have common goals for the future. It leaves a brief pause in the conversation, though not an uncomfortable one. Just a quiet moment to soak things in.

First date, first kiss(es), and it’s all going…perfectly.

It’s one thing to flirt and banter with a cute co-worker but taking the leap and going on a date together is a whole different game. There are very real feelings on both sides of the court and the potential for something real and permanent is so palpable you can feel it pushing you closer to one another. Leap again. Put yourself out there and trust the other will catch you.

Mingyu breaks the silence first and you feel his fingers twitch against your back.

“I really like you,” he says steadily, like that was the easy part, “I think you’re beautiful inside and out, stop laughing i’m being serious,” he grins and you try to reel it in for his sake, “My first day on the job I was blatantly called out and laughed at by Wonwoo after he caught me spacing out and staring at you for the third time…I don’t think I even made it an hour into my shift before I was hooked.”

“Oh, I thought you were being serious?” you grin.

“Shhhh,” he counters, “I’m not done.”

“Where was I? Oh yeah…you’re a good friend and a good person, and I like having you in my life,” he says softly, picking up your hand and pulling it into his lap, “I want to bring you home to meet my family so my mom can drag out the photo albums the way she’s always joked about doing while my sister spends the whole time telling you embarrassing things about me. They would like like you a lot. The boys on my team already like you.”

“Oh?”

He laughs, “Oh yeah, they’re always in my business and I made the mistake of bringing you up at a practice once so you’re a regular topic of discussion. I should have known I was doomed from then on and they’re brutal sometimes. One kid called me a loser because he’s fourteen and has a girlfriend and I don’t.”

“Is that how you’re asking me out? Trying to get the sympathy vote because you’re getting picked on by a bunch of kids?” you smirk.

“Maybe…is it working?” he asks, gaze dipping to your mouth for the millionth time tonight.

“I don’t know yet,” you inch a little closer, “Maybe you should try softening me up a little more before you ask again.”

He pauses, hovering just a breadth away from your face and his open mouth pulls into a sly grin, “By any means necessary?”

“Do what you have to do I suppos-”

“Niiccceee hickey.”

You slap a hand over the mark you swore you’d covered well enough with concealor, apparently not, and whip your head in Vernon’s direction. “Can you not announce it loud enough for everyone to hear?”

Vernon glances side to side. “There is literally no one except us in here and that thing announced itself.”

“What thing?”

Wonwoo comes in and drops his bag on the wooden bench, pulling out his uniform top to shrug over his shoulders. His glasses sit askew on his face and you really hope he’s got good insurance because they’re always in awful shape.

You turn and press your forehead against the cool metal of your locker door and Vernon chuckles, stowing his things noisely. “The physical evidence to prove that her date went abundantly well.”

Wonwoo smirks, walking closer to pry your hand away from your neck. He whistles. “Damn, Mingyu’s a biter…not surprised. Good luck hiding that thing - it’s going to be with you for a while.”

“Ok. Hickey expert. Thanks for your input,” you grumble.

He shrugs. “We all have interests and hobbies, and you’re welcome.”

You roll your eyes and turn around, leaning back against your locker with a pout. “I’m kinda nervous that we’re working together tonight for the first time since we went out. Do you think it will be weird?”

Vernon makes a goofy face. “Why would it be weird? I thought you said everything went well and you’re like, dating now? Did something happen?”

“No, everything was great,” you slump down a little further, “Like…too great. I’m trying not to jinx things or be weird. Are we too old to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend? Is that a thing for adults? Or did we grow out of that after high school?”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, fixing the notch on his belt, “No, we’re not too old for that. He’s your boyfriend. You’re his girlfriend. Simple.”

“Is it?” you reply with a unintentional snap that doesn’t phase either of them.

Vernon sits on the bench in front of you and stretches his back out, groaning like an old man. “Yes, simple. You like him and he likes you, and you have fun together. I fail to see the problem.”

“Yeah, that’s like, the opposite of a problem,” Wonwoo agrees, “Besides…being left alone in the rink after hours sounds mighty convenient if you ask me.”

Snapping your jaw shut, your eyes widen, “What exactly are you suggesting?”

Wonwoo smirks, “I’m not suggesting anything but an opportunist would use their imagination.”

Both you and Vernon peg Wonwoo with a suspicious stare.

“With all due respect,” you say slowly, your eyebrow steadily raising with each word, “I didn’t think you rolled like that.”

“Neither did I,” Vernon adds, equally intrigued.

“You’re kind of a freak, aren’t you?”

“Who’s a freak?”

All three of you startle and whirl around to see Mingyu coming through the door. His hair is wet, likely freshly showered after hockey practice, and he’s looking at each of you with a clueless grin.

“Nothing and no one!” you reply with a grin, already floating toward the hunk in the doorway, “Hi.”

“Hi,” he grins down at you, “I see you and I got stuck closing tonight.”

You swallow down the knot in your throat and hold up a middle finger behind your back directed at Vernon and Wonwoo’s snickering.

“Yep,” you bounce on your toes, “Just you and I…closing everything down…together…tonight.”

Mingyu’s lips pinch together to hold in a laugh. You were always so bold and confident when it came to teasing him and now, he can tell you’re having to make a great effort to hold it all together. “I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it fun,” he chooses, satisfied when your eyes widen just a touch, “I think Jim’s looking for you by the way. If you’re done getting-”

“Yes,” you squeeze his arms and then move past him at lightening speed, rushing out the door.

Mingyu just stands there and laughs quietly before looking up to see the grin on Vernon and Wonwoo’s faces. “Alright, how much did she tell you?”

“Didn’t have to tell us much at all.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “The bite marks you left told us everything we needed to know.”

Mingyu’s eyes drop to the floor as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. He’s glad the ones you left on him are covered by his collar because he just barely got away with blaming it on equipment mishandling when one of the older boys in his youth league pointed one out with a mischievous laugh.

Vernon claps a hand over his shoulder on his way out the door causing Mingyu to look back up again. “Happy for you, dude. She’s a good one.”

Mingyu smiles softly, “Thanks, man.”

When he leaves, Mingyu pushes further into the room and starts getting himself situated, glancing over at Wonwoo every now and then like he’s waiting for him to say something.

“I can feel you staring,” Wonwoo mumbles, eyes now glued to his Game Boy Pocket as he tries to save his progress from earlier.

Mingyu shrugs his shoulders up to his ears, pushing his bag into his locker.

Wonwoo puts his game down and looks up. “Whaddaya want, Hot Wheels?”

He pauses, making a face at the nickname, and then carefully asks, “On a scale of one to ten, how bad of an idea is it for me to-”

“Make a move tonight?”

Mingyu’s mouth pops open. “Oh,” he blinks, “You read minds too?”

Wonwoo sighs and leans back a touch, both hands gripping the edge of the bench beneath him. “To be fair, that’s exactly what I’d be thinking about if I were in your position. Empty building…gorgeous girlfriend…”

Mingyu scoffs, “Alright, easy…”

He gets a smirk in return and Wonwoo stands, stretching his long limbs. “I’m not wrong and also not interested in your girl so relax,” he leans down and tugs on the laces of his skates and then straightens out, “You both think too much. Just be normal. Do the same lovey dovey, flirty shit you always do and see how the night goes.”

“You’re kind of good at this,” Mingyu compliments, his lips pulling into a half-smirk, “What do you get up to when you’re off the clock and not playing big brother of the year?”

Nearing the door, Wonwoo just turns over his shoulder and tosses Mingyu a wink.

He’s handed out enough advice for one night.

You were still jittery when Mingyu joined you out on the floor but falling into the same routine was pretty simple, just like Vernon and Wonwoo said, and it took loads of anxious tension off your shoulders. If anything, Mingyu was more playful with his teasing and a little more bold with his physical affection when others weren’t paying attention.

It was like a game of how flustered he could make you without getting in trouble for fooling around on the job. The floor was crowded which simply meant he got to stay a little closer to you without looking suspicious which allowed him to find out how fun it was to pull you around by the belt loops of your pants.

He loved the little noise of surprise you let out every time he snuck up behind you, hooking his finger through the loop to tug you back against his chest where he pretended to tell you something important. Like he was just trying to talk to you over the sound of the music when he had nothing but more teasing to whisper in your ear.

The hours flew by unnoticed and before long, you were bidding your last goodbyes to the rest of the staff having finished their own cleaning and closing duties.

Mingyu went into the office to toy with the audio system after you asked to throw something on just so it wasn’t silent in the big dark building while you followed Vernon and Wonwoo to the doors to lock up after them.

Vernon shifts his bag on his shoulder and cuts a sideways glance in your direction. “You gonna be okay?”

You shrug, touched and confused he’d asked. “Yeah, I’ve closed up a million times. All good.”

Wonwoo pats the top of your head like a puppy. They both have a habit of that.

“He meant, are you gonna be okay here alone with Mingyu? Are you comfortable with us leaving - not that I think he’d ever do something to hurt or upset you…I’d kill him and he knows it…but you give us the word and we’ll stay.”

“Oh,” you blink and wave your hands dismissively, “No, we’re good! I was just worried about being a loser earlier but we’re totally fine!”

“We thought so,” Vernon grins, pushing the glass door open, “Just checking.”

It’s sweet and embarrassing that they’d thought to ask and you tell them as much as you gently push Vernon through the doorway. “Thought for a minute you were finally ready to confess,” you joke, fake pout on your lips and all, “I’ll drop him like a hot potato if you ask, Nonnie.”

Wonwoo follows him out and laughs, “You’re full of shit but I’m sure he appreciates the sentiment. By the way, if you find yourself in need…Jihoon keeps condoms in his locker.”

You slap a hand over your mouth, covering your shocked laughter. “First of all, mind your business and second, what the hell?!”

Vernon shrugs, “Man likes to be prepared I guess!”

….Line cooks are one of a kind. Truly.

You’re shaking your head as they wave goodbye and walk off toward Wonwoo’s car as it must have been his turn to carpool. Pulling the doors shut, you carefully lock each one and double check them before turning on your heel and then the music cuts on over the speakers. It’s not crazy loud but enough to keep the odd sounds that accompany a big old building from rattling in your ears.

Mingyu pops his head out of the office when you round the corner and you cock your head in question, “Beastie Boys?”

“Couldn’t get the discs to work so radio it is,” he shrugs, “I can find something else if you want.”

You shake your head, brushing past his shoulder into the small office to sit down and reconcile the financials for the night. “I’m not picky. Did you already grab the bags from the registers?”

He nods, “Yep, everything’s there and Jim left the keys for the safe in the desk,” Mingyu squeezes your shoulders when you sit down and you smile up at him. “I’m going to knock out the kitchen and rental walk-throughs while you count if that’s okay? After that we will just have shut down the arcade and I can take out the left over trash bags.”

“That would be amazing,” you tell him, head still cushioned against the office chair as you smile lazily up at him, “I just love a man that knows how to take charge and get the job done.”

He immediately chokes out a laugh and turns on his heel muttering something about how ‘he’s not going to get anything done if you keep that up’ as he walks away.

It takes another full minute to bring the task at hand back into focus and you have to consciously fight off the intrusive inappropriate thoughts clouding your brain when it’s supposed to be crunching numbers. You even have to recount a few bags because the image of Mingyu sitting you on the desk you’re working at to do dirty things with you keeps popping into your head and it’s getting harder and harder to focus. After probably twice the amount of time it usually takes you to do the financials, you’re finally done and locking the safe when Mingyu returns.

“Oh, hey,” you perk up when you notice him in the doorway, “Ready to go do the arcade?”

“Already done,” he snickers, “I came back after walk-throughs and caught you cursing and restarting your counts so I just went ahead and finished up the list.”

“Oh!” you shift on your feet, “...guess we’re all done then.”

Mingyu crosses his arms, leaning against the door frame looking extra swoon-worthy. Not a single poster of your favorite 80s and 90s heartthrobs plastered to the walls of your old bedroom held a candle to the picture in front of you and he knows it.

“You sound disappointed. I’m sure we could find other things to do if you wanna stay a little longer,” his eyes shift over to the audio system, still playing a mix of alternative and pop hits, and fixes his eyes back on you, “Ever considered making out with someone in an empty skating rink with No Doubt playing over the speakers?”

“Can’t say I have. What about you?”

Mingyu grins, shifting his weight to tower over you, “Thought just now crossed my mind.”

He slides one hand beneath your jaw and the other over your hip, slotting his lips against yours as he walks you back until you bump into the desk behind you. After teasing you with your belt loops all night, you decide to return the favor, licking at the seam of his lips as you hook your fingers in his front loops and pull him closer. He laughs against your lips and pulls back to meet your eyes. “That’s my move.”

“I liked it, so I think I’ll steal it,” you smirk, tugging at the loops still.

“We should probably get our things and head out before I do something stupid and incredibly irresponsible,” he chuckles though there is a very real edge to his tone like he’s trying hard to behave himself right now.

“What kind of stupid and irresponsible things?” you test him, releasing his belt loops to hook your index finger into the waist band of his pants instead, “I might be interested.”

The hand on your hip squeezes and he bites out a laugh. “Who’s the delinquent now?”

“Still you, but I recounted those bags because I kept getting interrupted by steamy office fantasies popping into my head so if you’d rather take me home before we make questionable decisions, we should probably leave now.”

He groans, torn between having to wait or giving in and having you right here, right now. The cons would be that it’s A.) your work place, B.) it’s not the cleanest place to hook up, and C.) he has to wait when his body is begging him otherwise.

As luck has it, you decide for him.

“Can we go to your place? My roommate is home tonight and she’s got hard rules against hooking up when the other is home. She doesn’t even really like when I have friends over but her name is on the lease so I don’t argue much.”

Mingyu shuts off his internal debate processing, grateful to have you choose for the both of you. “My roommates work the late shift at the bar on 89th so they will probably come home at some point but they don’t care about guests…or girlfriends. We respect that rule in regards to privacy.”

“Ugh,” you rolls your eyes, relaxing in his hold, “That must be so nice. Got an extra room at your place?”

“Got plenty of space for you in mine,” he smirks, “Alright let me grab our bags from the locker room and we’ll get out of here. Did you drive?”

You shake your head, moving to turn off the audio system, “No, I took the bus today.”

“Sweet, we’ll take my car home and won’t have to worry about leaving yours.”

It’s funny how you’re both being so casual at the moment as if you weren’t pinned up against the desk, debating whether you should desecrate the business office, and now you’re both going about your normal routines as if you didn’t just agree that you’re leaving to go directly to his place to hook up for the first time.

It catches up with you when Mingyu pulls up to the front of his shared beach house and cuts the engine. You look at the light blue house and catch the subtle sounds of the ocean not far off. “I had no idea you lived on the island,” you share as you get out of the car and walk together toward the door.

Mingyu hands you the key and takes your bag so you can open the door. “Yeah, we’ve been here about a year now. Used to share a condo a little further in but we spend a lot of time at the beaches here so when this place opened up we snagged it as quick as we could.”

Pushing inside, it’s exactly what you imagine a triad of bachelors to live in. Everything is clean but the couch is a futon, there are two cd towers filled with music you’d love to check out, a few bean bag chairs, a stereo system big enough to take up half a wall, and theres a couple of empty corona bottles spread on the low table in the living room next to a few gaming controllers.

Mingyu groans when he sees them and glances over apologetically. “I definitely asked them to clean those up when I left this morning. You’d think a couple of bartenders would know how to recycle empty beer bottles. I swear we have manners.”

You laugh and follow him to what you assume is his bedroom down the hall. He opens the door and drops both bags next to his dresser before flicking on a lamp. “Wasn’t expecting to bring you back here so I am glad my cleaning habits are something of use,” he pulls open a drawer and grabs a random t-shirt before handing it to you, “Here, you can wear this if you want and I’ll show you where the bathroom is…I just uhhh..I thought maybe you’d be more comfortable changing out of your uniform.”

You raise a brow at him, “What? My Dickies and pinstrip ref polo aren’t sexy enough for you?”

He smirks back, “Anything you wear is sexy enough for me but the sex and dating column in Cosmopolitan’s spring magazine says a woman’s comfort comes before all else and is the key to a healthy, thriving relationship.”

“You read Cosmo?”

He shrugs, “Had to pick my mom and sister up at the hair salon and got there on time which was apparently thirty minutes early. There was nothing else to do.”

“Learn anything else?” you ask just before he leaves you at the bathroom door.

Mingyu tugs the frosty bleached tips of his hair. “Learned six new ways to accesorize with butterfly clips and that my horoscope for last month was only half correct,” he grins, “Let me know if you need anything, babe, i’m gonna use the other bathroom to clean up.”

You mumble back an OK and shut the door, bumping into the counter. “Babe?” you repeat quietly, looking at yourself in the mirror.

The reality of you having a super-hot-hockey-player boyfriend who is also insanely sweet and volunteers his free time to coach a youth league, and is an amazing kisser, and the kind of guy that calls you babe, crashes into you completely and you’re scrambling to clean yourself up, change, steal some mouthwash, and give yourself a full pep talk before you emerge god knows how long later.

Following the same path back to Mingyu’s room, you pause at the door and take a deep breath before re-entering his space.

He’s laying in his bed tossing a small blue ball up and down with one hand while he waits. You’re pleased to see that he decided not to put a shirt on, lounging only in a pair of basketball shorts, because you also decided to ditch half your clothing. The opposite half.

The ball lands in his palm with an audible smack and he looks up when you step into his room, closing the door behind you.

“Wait right there,” he throws out a hand as you take a step closer and you hesitate, “I just want to burn this image into my memory for all of eternity.”

Rolling your eyes with a soft laugh, you walk the rest of the way over to Mingyu who reaches for your hand and pulls you up onto his bed to straddle his lap comfortably. His hands move up and down your thighs and he’s smiling at you all the while. “You’re so beautiful,” he sighs and then shakes his head when you try to brush him off. “Genuinely. I’m not just saying that to get in your pants. You’re not even wearing pants to get into.”

He’s amusing and captivating when he’s like this, hands exploring every inch of exposed skin, chest pressed against yours, his face turned up as he looks at you with that white-hot gaze. It further drives your need to touch and feel him so you wrap your arms around his shoulders loosely, letting your fingers dance over the muscle in his back.

Mingyu’s eyes flutter closed, only for a moment as your nails trail over his spine, and you smile to yourself, overjoyed with the feeling of his body beneath yours.

“This feels a little surreal,” you speak quietly and he hums in response, setting his eyes back on your face, “I mean…”

“Ahhhhhh,” he grins, lacing his fingers together where his hands rest on your lower back, kept warm under your shirt, “Because you’ve been dreaming about me every night since we met?”

“Something like that,” you sigh and Mingyu shuts up, not expecting you to give in so easily. You pinch the hair at the nape of his neck tugging it nervously, “You should probably kiss me before I say something even more embarrassing.”

Mingyu chuckles and his eyes dip to your mouth. He captures your lips easily, moving his hands against the planes of your back as he kisses you until your mind clouds over.

His hair is soft between your fingers, the silly frosted ends tickling your skin when you give a little experimental tug. Wonwoo teased him endlessly for falling for the fad but you had to admit you liked it on him.

You’d probably like anything on him though. Besides, it wasn’t long before Wonwoo broke down and tried it too albeit a bit more subtle and less Backstreet Boys.

Mingyu braces his forearm behind your hips and tugs. His skin is hot and he keeps you still against him, not like you plan on shifting away, but the need to be touched, held…anchored to him is met without needing to ask. It feeds into your confidence allowing you to move more freely, rolling your hips, arching your back until your chest is pushing into his and he just can’t stand the fabric in the middle.

The shirt he’d given you doesn’t even fully hit the ground before his arms are wrapped around your body again and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, lips trailing over your throat, shoulders, collar bones. Whatever he can reach without letting go.

A sharp gasp hits the air when his tongue dips to the base of your throat and he closes his lips over that same spot with a kiss. Thighs trembling, you hope he doesn’t comment on the pathetic way your cunt squeezes around nothing. He says nothing though. Instead, he groans deep in his chest and his hands tighten possesively.

Then he does it again, and again. He encourages your real, raw reactions, full intending to pull them from you until you let go of whatever mental block is keeping you from letting him know exactly how much you love the way he makes you feel.

Pretty soon he succeeds and you’re no longer trying to hold yourself together, holding your breath, or trying to be quiet.

Mingyu drags his teeth along your collarbones and grins at the soft hum you let out, so at odds with the way your body jumps at the sharp sensation.

“You like that, huh?”

It take an extra few seconds to process his words, brain near mush from his attention.

“So you do like it,” Mingyu laughs, pecking a small kiss to your shoulder, “What else do you like?”

You’ve only just now formed a response to his first question and now he’s asking another and he’s smirking. It’s almost like he’s doing it on purpose…

Your mouth pops open to say something, what that might have been, you’ll never know because at the same time, Mingyu leans back a little and drags your hips over his, grinding his erection against your sensitive cunt. “You like that?”

At this point, you give up on words and just nod your head fervently. Yes, I fucking like that.

His hands ghost up your sides until his thumbs are brushing against your breasts. He pauses, testing the water before diving in, and he catches the hitch in your breath. The way your head drops back just a touch like all this is making you a little dizzy. He leans forward and presses a kiss against your sternum before falling back against the pillows to take in the full picture.

You, perched in his lap with your back arched, pushing your aching breasts into his hands to play with. It’s the exact shit he’s fallen victim to in a wet dream but this is real and far better because here you are, in the flesh, gripping onto his wrists and rocking your hips against him for an inkling of relief from how much he’s turned you on.

It’s wearing his patience down and is going to bite him in the ass if he doesn’t move things along. He prematurely finished one time and it still haunted him at night. Never again.

Hopefully.

Mingyu makes a miraculous maneuver, with you landing on your back at his side, somehow, without twisting or pinning someone’s limb in the process.

“That was very smooth.”

You’re staring back up at him in wonder, partly because you’re not used to being tossed around like that, but also because he’s looking down at you with a serious, heated expression and it’s making your heart beat a little too fast.

“Can I touch you?” he askes softly and you’re immediately nodding. “Yeah?” he mimics the motion in a daze, eyes glued to your mouth, “Come here.”

Easy. You kiss him, well, it’s pretty equal efforts but you get to him first, too impatient to wait even half a second more. His hand moves over your hip slowly, then shifts to brush against your naval where he rests it for a moment, heat from his skin seeping into yours.

He’s planning on making good on his request, though you beat him to it again.

Mingyu parts his lips with a sigh when he feels your hand slide over his. Your fingers curl around his palm and you guide his hand lower. He asked to touch you and then made you wait - whether it be on purpose or just his own nerves - you’ll help him help you.

He doesn’t seem to mind and rewards you instantly with his thick fingers rubbing against your cunt through your panties. Your mouth falls open with a soft moan and his brows knit together right as the sound hits his ears. His gaze is unwavering and you almost wish he would just kiss you again instead of studying your face this closely…then his middle finger presses down a little harder and the sound you let out that time makes the corner of his mouth turn up into a half-smirk.

It doesn’t even slip away when he leans down and kisses you, his smirk still obviously tugging at his lips when they touch yours. His hand pushes inside your underwear and he groans into your mouth when he feels how wet and warm you are but he doesn’t have time to waste or savor the feeling because he needs you to cum on his fingers at least once before he fucks you and his will to wait it out is all but gone.

You’re responsive to every stroke, gasping and whimpering, digging your nails into his arm. Your back arches up off the bed every time he pumps his fingers faster, rubbing them up against your g-spot with expert ease because, hell yeah he reads cosmo, he’s too fucking good at it to not have been guided by the devine-feminine mind.

Mingyu’s mouth envelopes one of your nipples and his tongue rolls against it at almost the same pace and pattern he’s rubbing your own slick into your clit and that’s enough to send you over the edge. He tries to be patient, to let you come down before he goes reaching for a condom but he catches the time on his digital alarm clock, the numbers glaring at him in bright red.

It was already past midnight meaning having the house to himself is ending relatively soon.

You don’t need the extra recovery time though, in fact, it’s the opposite. What you need is more and you need it now. “Mingyu…” he hums in response and you will your mouth to work again, “Do you even play basketball?”

He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. Poking your tongue in your cheek you nod and point to his shorts, “...Off.”

Mingyu grins as he leans down and kisses you before rolling out of bed and your lips turn up into a smile, a breathless laugh floating up into the air. He drops his shorts and steps out in white Calvin Kleins stretched taut over his golden thighs, showing off every inch of his assets, and you have to prop yourself up on your elbows to even get the full picture.

Move over Marky Mark.

You’re too busy staring at Mingyu’s body to notice him taking the opportunity to appreciate yours. It’s just a brief moment to sate both your curiosities because though neither of you would prefer to admit it, you’ve thought about each other naked and probably more than once. Getting handsy on your date gave you a bit of an idea but the overwhelmingly obvious dick print staring you in the face at the moment confirms your indecent theory about what Mingyu might be packing…

And that has got to be the ‘Pony’ Ginuwine was singing about.

When your eyes meet somewhere in the middle, you both turn away quickly, embarrassed only slightly for getting caught. It was a good feeling to know that the attraction is mutual. You hear a drawer close softly and feel the dip in the bed when he slides under the covers next to you. Rolling over, you land almost nose to nose and Mingyu grins, “I like it when you check me out.”

You answer him with a kiss that starts out innocently enough but it’s such a dizzying sensation to be so wrapped up in him that whatever witty retort you had been thinking of is lost in the way his fingers squeeze into your side. He sighs against your lips when he drags you closer and your thigh settles high on his hip, wrapping your body around him tightly. Without thought or hesitation, he drives his pelvis forward, rubbing his erection into your sensitive cunt.

It makes you break for air, drawing too much of it into your lungs just to sharply moan through the exhale when he doesn’t stop. The muscles in his arms are so taut beneath your fingers that you know he’s not doing it to tease you - he’s at his breaking point and really just can’t help himself.

One hand slides down and pushes against the waistband of his briefs, rolling the material down as best you can until it catches his attention so his can finish the job himself. He groans, mostly to acknowledge your intentions, but also because he’s slowly trying to reel himself back for a moment. Just long enough to peel the last bits of clothing off you both and get a rubber on. It’s probably one of the most ridiculously inconvenient things he’s been made to do in a long time.

Neither of you say a word as he rips open the foil, trying to keep his hands still enough to roll the condom on correctly. It feels like static in his veins, trying to sit still when everything inside his body is screaming go, go, go! You can feel it too, the buzz of anticipation, the pulse between your thighs.

Then, there is a pause after he rolls back over, covering your bare body with his own, and he just looks at you for a moment, mouth tight. Your hands slide over his arms, up his shoulders, and settle on his face. “Everything ok?”

“Just wanna do this right,” he whispers back, turning his face to kiss the palm of your hand.

The corners of your lips lift in a small smile. “Feels pretty right to me, if that helps.”

The tension in his shoulders melts away and he relaxes his pinched brows. “It does help,” he says, one big hand stroking the outside of your thigh around his waist, “Just…talk to me if there is anything you want or don’t like.”

“I will,” you reassure him and he eyes you wearily one more time until you sigh, “I promise.”

That seems to be enough for him as he shifts between your legs and you let your hands fold over his shoulders, trying hopelessly to relax your body when you feel his fingers on you again. He doesn’t keep them there long, just enough to make sure you’re still wet before he’s gripping his cock, guiding himself into your heat.

The pressure is immense and Mingyu feels you tense up beneath him. He pulls his other arm up and shifts his weight over to one side, grabbing your face with his free hand. “Breathe,” he says quietly, tipping your face up to look at him, “Just breathe, baby.”

Easier said than done but you exhale shakily and his thumb brushes against your cheek. Mingyu draws his hips back slightly and pushes further in, eyes falling to your mouth when it pops open. The feeling of fullness is all encompassing and all you can think about. So full you might burst at the seams but again, you will yourself to relax and he finally, finally bottoms out.

You let out a sharp breath and just can’t seem to catch it.

Mingyu seems unsure of whether he should move or not and he barely gets the question out before you’re nodding. The first few thrusts are still tender and he’s still mindful of that but after a minute or so, the tides turn and you’re digging your heels into his backside, pulling him deeper.

Mentally, emotionally, physically deeper.

He’s a romantic through and through, including in times like this where he’s drunk on pussy and pure infatuation. He can’t get enough. The way you feel around him, clinging to his body, hands against his chest, eyes glued to his. He’s in severely dangerous territory and clamps his lips shut until the words sitting there fizzle out. Patience is what he needs. In his mind and in his heart.

His body is on an entirely different page.

Mingyu is smooth and consistent in his movements, like water in and around you. His name spills from your lips reverently, whispered into the air between you and it feeds him, pushes him to fufill your needs in a way you knew deep down he would. He’s a pleaser in every way.

So, when you slow him down with your palms firmly planted against his chest, he stops and listens. His attentiveness almost makes it harder to speak.

“Can I uh…like would you mind if I…laid on my stomach?” you ask unevenly, not really sure why you’re hesitating to share what you want when that is what he’s asked of you.

Mingyu looks like he’s died and gone to heaven. He doesn’t even answer. Carefully, he pulls out and moves so he can roll you over, prop your hips up, and fill you right back up. This time there is no slow start. His hand settles on your back, just between your shoulder blades, and he holds you there, pinning you in place in such a way that your eyes close on contact. Perfectly content to stay put.

The room is filled with lewd noises. Skin slapping against skin. Deep grunting and moaning sounds mixed together. Your muffled voice chanting his name over and over again. Mingyu’s quiet praises tickling your ears when your head turns fuzzy.

It’s a good thing no one is home because it’s almost embarrassing how loudly passionate you both are. You regret not asking Mingyu to turn on the radio to drown out the noise but it’s too late now and with another tug upwards on your hips, he’s stroking your walls just right and you hit an entirely new set of notes.

Mingyu can feel you squeezing around him, mewling into his pillows and he’s hanging on for dear life because you’re still skirting around the edge and he’s seconds from toppling over. An idea pops into his head, a catch twenty-two really because in doing this, he puts himself at further risk of finishing first but it’s still too enticing to pass up.

Somehow, he manages to roll your bodies together until he hits the mattress, successfully claiming his spot as your big spoon. He hooks his left arm under your head so that it’s rested on his bicep while his hand is free to roam your chest and his right arm snakes over your hip before you feel his middle and ring finger slip between your folds.

With you tightly wound up in his hold he picks up a brutal, finishing pace. He hits all the right spots and works your body until you’re seeing stars. Your breathing now harsh and uneven limits your ability to speak but you don’t need to say anything at all.

Mingyu knows your coming and he’s going right along with you. When your orgasm hits, you bear down against him, crying out in broken sounds as he pumps his hips through his own release. He continues to hold you against his chest, gently kneading at the fleshy part of your hip.

He presses kisses against your hair and then carefully, he pulls out before rolling you onto your back. Mingyu’s smile is adoring and beautiful, it makes you want to bury your face in the pillows again. The blanket will have to do.

“Why are you hiding?” Mingyu chuckles, grabbing at the blanket, “Was it that bad?”

You flip the sheet down and give him a blank stare.

“Shut up,” you bite, a hint of a smile appearing, “You know it was good. Better than good.”

“How good?” he smirks.

With an eye roll, you pull the blanket up just high enough to cover the lower half of your face. “Really fucking good…and you’re not even slightly winded.”

He’s on top of the world.

“My stamina is just another one of my many desirable qualities,” he half-shrugs, “If you’re still not in love with me, I’m happy to keep trying.”

“Will you stop when I do?”

“Not a chance,” he grins, one hand squeezing your thigh as he swoops in to steal another kiss, “Stay with me tonight. I’ll make you anything you want for breakfast”

You pretend to think about it when you know you’ll say yes, and not just because you don’t have a car. A sleepover? With your hot boyfriend? Who just rocked your world and will probably do it again and then cook for you in the morning? Yeah, that’s a no-brainer.

“I could probably be convinced if you find me something comfy to wear and have a spare pack of noodles…I’m starving.”

Mingyu jumps out of bed, the sight of his bare cheeks making you turn and giggle. “I’m about to make you the best noodles of your life,” he walks over to his dresser pulling out underwear for himself, a clean t-shirt, and blue-plaid pajama pants, then he tugs open another drawer and turns to you, holding out a big soft-looking jacket, “I think you’ll like this one. I don’t have any pants that will fit you but this is pretty long. Oooh,” he pauses, “I didn’t think about underwear when I-”

“Ruined mine?” you raise your brow teasingly, sitting up and making grabby hands for the sweater he tosses to you.

He scoffs, tip of his tongue poking at his teeth. “Yeah, that’s my bad.”

Your voice is muffled as you pull the sweater over your head before climbing out of bed, pleased that it indeed covers you well. “It’s okay. It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’ve learned to keep an extra pair in my bag.” You mention this so casually that he’s stunned when you walk over to grab said panties from your bag and kiss his cheek before turning to leave, “I’m gonna go clean up. Meet you in the kitchen for those mind blowing noodles?”

Mingyu hollers back as you near the bathroom door. “I’ll blow your mind in the kitchen alright!”

He slumps against the dresser when he hears you respond with, “I’m sure you will, babe!”

Babe. Ugh, you’re so it for him.

The steam of the shower mixed with some kind of masculine aroma in Mingyu’s body wash gives off the same feeling of being in his arms and the thought warms your belly again. It’s almost embarrassing, how much you want him just after having him in full, but you’re sure he’d be happy to oblige even if you so much as hinted at it.

Maybe he will blow your mind in the kitchen.

As you’re wrapping up and getting dressed you hear music, oddly loud for the hour but it’s vaguely familiar, still muffled by the sound of the vents running to air out the steam in the bathroom. Then there’s a crash, not earth shattering but enough that you’re slightly concerned. You hurry to hang your towel and pull on your clean underwear and his sweater when you hear another bump against the wall. Then…singing?

“Kiss meeee out of the bearded bobby~”

“NIGHTLYYYY beside the greanbeann grass~”

You poke your head into the hallway, “Um…Mingyu?”

“SWIIINGG SWIINNG-”

“Swing the spinnnning stem~”

Definitely not Mingyu. Also, definitely not the right words to this song but your interest is piqued.

You come around the corner to find him in the center of the living room, quietly laughing, holding the hand of one of his very jovial (probably drunk) maybe roommates while the other (definitely drunk) maybe roommate is spinning around them in circles, bumping into things along the way.

The one with bright blonde hair pokes Mingyu mid-spin, “You wear the shoes and I’ll wear a dressss~”

Then the his drinking partner joins in and their both belting out, “oOHHH Kiss meeee, beneath the melting twilight~”

Mingyu points to the blonde and shouts over the noise, “That one’s Hoshi.”

“Lead meeee, out on the moonlit flooOr!”

He gestures at the one hanging off his arm, the tall boy with shaggy black hair, “This one’s Minghao. They’re plastered, obviously.”

They’re delightful and Hoshi is coming your way with a cat-like smile. He bows, almost stumbles, and reaches for your hand which you’re happy to share. “Lift your open hand…” he serenades, lifting yours into the air, “Strike up the band and make firefights dance silver moons sparkly~”

And he spins you away so quickly you almost stumble but Mingyu catches you around the waist with Minghao singing over your shoulder in a whisper, “So, kiss me.”

And Mingyu does, of course, he’s not going to miss the opportunity. Minghao grins, leaning against the wall to catch his balance, and Hoshi claps…a little bit like a buffoon but you really like them both. Mingyu must really love them because he doesn’t complain one bit about the noise and overly dramatic show, especially with it being your first impression. It helps that he knows how laid back you are and can see the delight still dancing in your eyes.

He does however, turn down the music on the stereo so everyone can talk without shouting.

“You do know you guys are supposed to be serving the alcohol…not drinking it…right?”

“Don’t be r- *hiccup* -rude!” Hoshi flaps his hand dismissively, “I’ll tell your pretty girlfriend about all the times we had to hold your hair back, our sweet little Mingoo ~”

Minghao giggles, bumping into Hoshi’s shoulder, “Or about how you,” he pauses, the two of them bursting into hysterics as Mingyu sighs like he knows what’s coming. Minghao wipes away a tear, still cackling, “About how you got totally tanked that weekend you first started working at Wheelie’s and whined alllll nighttttt-”

Hoshi whacks Mingyu’s shoulder laughing and then looks at you, “He wouldn’t shut up about you the entire night. Crying into his beer…because he thought you were dating the DJ.”

Your hand flies over your mouth, giggling up at your boyfriend who is being a really good sport right now. Even as he pokes his tongue into his cheek, shaking his head at his friends.

“Vernon and I were never dating,” you fake sniffle, “Sadly.”

“Sadly?!” Mingyu swings his head around toward you, “I thought the soulmate thing was a joke?” he laughs.

“Oh, baby, it is a joke,” you reassure him, patting his chest gently but just when he relaxes you whisper, “Until it isn’t.”

Hoshi sticks out his hand as he’s stumbling toward the kitchen and you land a low-five as he goes, and one up top when Minghao follows behind him excitedly mumbling about making drinks for everyone, then Hoshi is shouting about noodles ‘for the love of god, we need more noodles!’

Mingyu sighs and you know he’s about to complain that he no longer has you to himself. Can practically hear it in your head already. So, you cut him off before he can start, tugging him down into a kiss hot enough to make him groan against your lips as his hands dip down to take handfuls of you.

Then he’s laughing, falling out of rythym and you pull back, smiling. “What?”

You squawk in surprise when he smacks your ass and says, “You know you’re still not wearing pants, right?”

Actually, you forgot because of the whole song and dance thing.

“That’s embarrassing,” you mumble, tugging his sweater further down your thighs, “I could go throw my work pants-”

“I can try to find you som-”

You both look toward the kitchen when music starts playing and Mingyu shakes his head, almost regretting stowing his portable radio in there for when he’s cooking. It’s quiet for a few seconds and then, like someone cranked the volume all the way up, it’s starts blasting and they’re both singing.

“Ooooh baby, baybay, b-baby, baybaby, oooh baby-”

Mingyu just laughs. “On second thought, don’t even worry about it. They aren’t going to remember anything tomorrow morning anyway.”

“I like them,” you grin.

His shoulder shake with mirth, “Of course you do.”

You giggle when one of the guys starts shouting the words and grab Mingyu’s hand, pulling him along behind you. “Come on, noodles, drinks, Salt-n-Pepa,” he fake groans and you squeeze his hand, “This is the most fun I’ve had at a sleepover in years.”

Then he’s grinning, “Well, we can make it a regular thing if you want.”

You turn, just before you get to the kitchen and push up to kiss his cheek, “Whatever you say, Hot Wheels.”

“Oh, come on,” he drags his feet after you, “Can we pick a new nickname?!”

“Sure. Come on, Coach Kim. Let’s go play in the kitchen.”

He stumbles a step and shakes his head. “Am I supposed to pretend it doesn’t make me kind of horny when you call me that? God, please don’t hold that against me. I am only a man.”

Oh? Good to know. “Whatever you say, Coach.”

Thanks for reading! 💖

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